Cup of Harmony 56 (Everything Thread)

[Filopines]

Smart, Dumb and Funny PART 19

WC 64 Qualifying
Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10Part 11Part 12Part 13Part 14Part 15Part 16
Cup of Harmony 56
Part 17Part 18

This took place before the first matchday so Bolbing, Viney and Rodriguez were able to play the first two games

*at Kate and Rachel's apartment*
(two delivery men bring flat screen TV into apartment)
Julie: Right there, boys.
Alicia: Are you sure it's the same one?
Julie: Looks identical.
(Julie's phone starts to ring)
(Julie answers phone)
Julie: Who's this?
(Kate and Mark outside Rachel's car)
Kate: It's Kate.
Julie: What's wrong? Are you on the plane yet?
Kate: No, there was an accident on the bridge.
Julie: Why'd you go on the bridge then if there was an accident?
Kate: (to Mark) At least Luis isn't right here.
Julie: So, why'd you call?
Kate: We need you to come pick us up to take us to the airport. We've only got one hour left till our flight leaves.
Julie: How many inches is your TV?
Kate: 42". Why?
Julie: Just asking.
(Julie grabs tape measure and measures TV)
Julie: Hey, delivery man! How many inches is this TV?
Delivery man 1: Four.
Delivery man 2: Ty.
DM1: Eight.
DM2: Inches.
Julie: Kill me. Kill me now.
Alicia: I can be of some help.
(Kate and Mark's location)
Mark: So?
Kate: She's coming.
Mark: Wanna play Travel Scrabble while we're waiting?
Kate: No. We gotta stop them arguing.
(Mark and Kate walk to the car)
Kate: Aaron! Luis! Rachel!
(Aaron, Luis and Rachel stop arguing and look at Kate and Mark)
Kate: That was easy.
Mark: Listen, Julie is on her way to pick us up so we can go to the airport.
Rachel: Who's Julie?
Aaron: Yeah, who's Julie?

*at Kate and Rachel's apartment*
Julie: I have to go pick up some of my friends. I need to go now, Alicia.
Alicia: Can I come with you?
Julie: No. Sit down and watch TV. NOW!
(Alicia runs to sofa and turns on TV)
Julie: Good girl. (under breath) Crap-weasel.

*at the bridge*
(The five sitting on the grass playing Travel Scrabble)
Aaron: Fish. Five points! Apox, baby!
Luis: I don't like this game.
Aaron: Come on, it's fun!
Mark: I agree with Aaron. It's actually a great game. Apox, baby!
(Julie's car arrives then Julie gets out of her car)
Julie: Hey, guys!
Luis, Rachel, Mark, Kate and Aaron: Julie!
Julie: Need to get to the airport?
(I'm really busy sorry)

[Sicoutimont]

It was now 5 weeks since grandfather's death, and Sandiego Venequez hadn't heard from FC Richelieu in a while. His calls went unanswered, and it appeared that they were not interested in him anymore. However, he needed to know if he was signed to the team, as the college courses were building up on him, and he was unsure If he would be able to change to online courses for the rest of the year. He then checked his phone. Stunned, he had received a text from FC Richelieu. "We r flying to San Cristobal with a contract for you to sign, as you're 20 and not 21 it must be signed by you, your parent, and your Professor at the University, we hooked up with UoSC and you can take online courses, we'll meet you at the café on 34th Street" So that was it, he thought? Sandiego didn't feel like he thought he would. It seemed like FCR had just abandoned him for a few days, then decided they needed a player to win the league title, so they came back looking for him. He wondered what the contract would be. Seeing the FC Richelieu representatives walk into the café, Sandiego shook there hands. They talked for a bit, then said "Sorry for waiting for a bit, but it's what your grandfather wanted for you" Sandiego was shocked.

"What do you mean what my grandfather wanted? He's been dead 5 weeks!"

"Yes, and he contacted us through our scouting department 3 months ago. We at FCR are always looking for new players, so he sent us your CV and resume, so we came to a few varsity games you played against other schools on the islands and in St-Simeon Province. We also went to the Sicoutian Football Association, met with the youth team's board, mainly a few youth managers from across the country and Rene Rochefort, Director of the SFA, and asked them if any players from San Cristobal were on the radar for the future, they replied 3, we inquired at your name, and they told us it was very likely you'd be on a Di Bradini Cup squad, if we're able to get in on the next one."

"So you're telling me that my grandfather told you to sign me 3 months ago?"

"Well, yes. That's the gist of it. But it's likely you would have been picked up anyways, the youth signing period is coming and the varsity matches are becoming bigger. Who are you guys playing there anyway? I know you're in the St-Simeon Province Cup tournament...."

"We're playing University of Lac-Est"

"Ah, Lac-Est.....my father's Alma Mater. But back to the point, we have to be back in Richelieu tomorrow, think you can get the contract signed by then?"

"Yeah, I can get my professor right now, but my parents live about 3 hours away, due to the fact I have to fly to get there."

As Sandiego flew, he was so excited. It was finally his chance to play pro football. All he'd need was his parents signature, as his professor had already expressed desire for this over the phone with FCR representatives. Why he needed his professor's permission he didn't know; he guessed it had something to with the fact that Sandiego would need to be responsible for finishing all his assignments and other things online. Getting his parent's signature, he flew back home-it was now 4 hours since he'd met with the FCR officials, due to a flight delay, and he decided he'd open the book. He'd just about finished it, was on the last 2-3 pages, just the index was left basically. He flipped to the back, and a note fell out. It was from grandfather! "Dear Sandiego; if you are receiving this letter you know that I am dead. Thank you for finishing this book, you do not know how much it means to me. Also, sign the contract with FC Richelieu! The entrepreneurs over there have probably told you I'm the one who set this up, haha, and that would be true. Sandiego, I hope you have a great life, and someday, I'll be watching you play in the World Cup. Love, grandfather." Sandiego smiled, laughing at grandfather's jokes as if he was still alive. Handing the representatives the contract, he was handed back a jersey. The traditional blue and green colour scheme of FC Richelieu was there, with the crest on the front, and on the back, in black: VENEQUEZ, and below it 12. Numbers. His hero, Girard Giroux, was 26. His best friend, also on the varsity team, was 18, and although he hadn't been able to take it on the varsity team as it was retired for Aspanolan footballer Alberto Alfredo, so he took number 21. Venequez chose number 12 because he wanted to honour Alfredo; his 2 footballing heroes were Alfredo and Giroux. Alfredo never made it to the World Cup squad because he died in a tragic car accident at the age of 24, just before Sicoutimont came out of isolation and joined the World Cup. However, Alfredo was probably the best player from Sicoutimont never to not play at a world tournament, and quite possibly one of the best among those. Anyways, both parties had to get out of La Espanola for that day, so they left. Sandiego, so joyful, bounced along the sidewalk, smiling. He was now a pro football player. He couldn't wait until opening day.

Royales Draw with Qazox, 1-1, Stayin' Alive in CoH Tournament

It was an exciting game between the top 2 seeded teams in the group. Qazox had previously drawn 1-1 with Kishrael, and Sicoutimont came off a 3-2 loss to Northern Sunrise Islands. But those were all forgotten, and we can presume both team's inexperience with each other showed off in the first 15 minutes. The long stretch passes tried by Sicoutian defenders were usually blocked and hit out by Qazoxians, while on corner kicks, Qazox' keeper would be able to stop the header from Georges Allonts, if the Qazoxian defenders didn't stop that pass first. It was all a very entertaining game first, but it appeared neither side had watched tape of each other play previously. However, in the 30th minute, Christopher Savard stole the ball from a defender off a throw-in, and dribbled his way into the 18 yard box before driving it home, making the score 1-0 for Les Royales. However, the lead would not last too long, as in the 50th minute, Florence Schumer tied the match with a strong strike from outside. Here's the box score:

Cup of Harmony Matchday 2
Sicoutimont vs Qazox, @Coliseum of the Celts, Abingdon, Licentiapacisterra
Sicoutimont 1------------Qazox 1
Savard 30'            Schumer 50'

Something interesting is that Girard Giroux has failed to score yet in this Cup of Harmony. The usual machine has 2 assists so far in the tournament, but he'll need a few goals against Kishrael tomorrow if Les Royales want to advance. Speaking of advancing, a 2 goal win over Kishrael would send Sicoutimont to second place in the group, a possible playoff spot. Sicoutimont cannot win Group 5. On the other hand, any victory over Kishrael combined with a Qazox victory over Northern Sunrise Islands by 2 goals to clinch second. Also, if Qazox and NSI draw with a Sicoutian victory, we will clinch second. It's definitely possible, but advancing will mean that Sicoutimont will need to win their first match ever at the Cup of Harmony. Remember to show your support for Les Royales by tuning in and watching the game! We'll update you after the match with what went down, so keep watching the Lac-Drouin Times and reading you paper! It should be a fun one, Sicoutimont-Kishrael, tonight!

[Turori]

Eels Punch their Ticket
Turori 2-0 Hutt River

The Turori Eels have punched their ticket to the next phase of the 56th Cup of Harmony after a 2-0 win over Atlantian Oceania neighbors Hutt River propelled the Eels atop the Group 9 table on 6 points. The Eels are currently 2 points ahead of Saintland, who they play on Matchday 3 to determine who takes the top place in the Group.

The Eels, however, will advance regardless of the outcome on Matchday 3. With 6 points after two matches, there are not enough 2nd or 3rd place teams on 3 points or higher that could catch Turori and overtake them in the standings. The top 5 Second Placed teams will automatically advance as well.

The Eels got to this point thanks to a 2-0 victory over Hutt River that saw a largely unchanged lineup take the field in a sign that Ematora Saenu and the Football Association of Turori (FAT) are serious about contending for the Cup of Harmony title in Esportiva.

The goals came in quick succession at the end of the first half when Liinai Zakazaka and Lioniaa Tana scored to put the Eels in the lead, and they never looked back.

Young prospect Etamara Kulkkiia started for the second consecutive match, but this time was substituted before full time. Kulkkiia gave way to Anuh Ciniima in the 73rd minute in a double substitution that also saw Diauro Dlaminii replaced by Noa-isinao Wioauoi. Another young prospect, Klaillal Tuirma, was once again unavaiable due to injury.

The Matchday 3 showdown between the Turori National Team and Saintland certainly means more to Saintland who risk elimination from the tournament with a defeat. For the Eels, its all about points and seeding. The Eels need the win to keep themselves in the top spot in the group and hope for an easier route of opposition as the tournament progresses.

Turori Goalscorers::
36' Liinai Zakazaka
39' Lioniaa Tana

Hutt River Goalscorers::
:: None
::
Turori
Best Player: Hooizo Nuakoi
Worst Player: Rutaj Ranaso
Shots on Target: 5
Corner Kicks: 10

Hutt River

Best Player: Hutt River Forward
Worst Player: Hutt River Midfielder
Shots on Target: 1
Corner Kicks: 2


Turori Eels Lineup ::
[GK] Hooizo Nuakoi, [D] Lioniaa Tana, [D] Diauro Dlaminii, [D] Yoains Konoaafeo, [UT] Restiaa Mumamba, [ML] Raso Tareak, [MC] Cediici Tzatzos, [MC] Rutaj Ranaso, [MR] Etamara Kulkkiia, [FC] Liinai Zakazaka, [FC] Jukkia Diijelhma
BENCH::
[FC] Loala Kigoouao, [FC] Anuh Ciniima, [M] Vrotaoa Lorasoiba, [M] Rikko Rawaii, [UT] Balariita Muzmaara, [D] Noa-isinao Wioauoi, [GK] Ronji Miiastara

Turori Substitutions::
(45) - Lioniaa Tana >>> Rikko Rawaii
(73) - Etamara Kulkkiia >>> Anuh Ciniima
(73) - Diauro Dlaminii >>> Noa-isinao Wioauoi

[Barunia]

'Hola, you're watching The Cup, the show where tonight we talk Cup of Harmony! I'm Manuel Terez, and with me is former Suns captain Joric Ruskin."

"Thanks Manuel, good to be hear as always."

"Ok well tonight in the Cup of Harmony Barunia take on the Nenets Autonomous Okrug. Now Joric, you've played against this side, so what can you tell us about them."

"Defence. That's the key to the Nenets game, as it always has been. That's not to say they can;t score, as the Baptism of Fire game proves, but defence is definitely their strength. I hear they worship a bear god to whom a goalless score is sacred."

"Well, he would certainly be pleased with the Suns performance against Western Cuba then."

"Probably. The Nenets are super friendly, I hear one of their bands actually wrote a song about our football team that is topping their music charts at the moment."

"Amazing. Of course, not all of them are quite as friendly. The coach Hermione Aglukark was seen to murder a reporter on live television!"

"Indeed Manuel, that was actually during the Suns game too. Hopefully she won't do the same tonight, as for some reason she's not in jail but still leading this team."

"Oh, what's that? Ok. Yes. Sorry Joric, I've just been informed that we can't say that Coach Aglukark is a murderer, as she was acquitted on account of her being dead. Whatever that means. I mean, if she's dead, how can she be here?"

"It seems the Nenets have a strange justice system. Speaking of people dying on national television, there have been some mysterious deaths on the Nenets squad immediately after their games. Perhaps its the heat."

"The heat? It's winter!"

"So? According to my research, anything above zero is boiling for a Nenet."

"Ok, well that's the opposition. Strange deaths, defensive side, likes the cold, worships a bear and have a mur, ah, dead person for a coach. Oh, and have chart-topping songs about our very own Suns. So Joric, how do you fancy the Suns against the footballing squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug?"

"We've come a long way since that first encounter. We certainly have a good chance here, although it will be a challenge."

"Ok, well Kitty Smith is waiting live over at Hilltop stadium, so let's cross live their now for our live coverage of the match."

----------
Click. Once again the red lamp of the "on air" sign was switched off. Manuel turned to his co-host. "See, that was better. You can do it when you try. Although perhaps not so dry next time. It's a sport show, not a news article about a foreign country. The average viewer isn't interested in who they worship, only is they can play football or not."

Joric sighed. "But it's all linked. You need to understand your opponent, everything about them, in order to understand them. During the war, we had to ..."

Manuel thre up his hands. "Oh not this again darling. The war this, the war that. I'm sick of hearing about the war."

"But last week you told me off because I didn't say anything about the war."

Manuel gave an exasperated sigh. "The camera was rolling. It might be dull as ditchwater but for some reason the public are all for war heroes at the moment."

"I'm not a war hero." said Joric, staring down at the place where his left leg had once been.

"Oh, but you are, wether you like it or not. God knows right now Barunia could use all the heroes it can get."

--------
"Welcome back to The Cup! Well another close game, and I'm sure that bear god of the Nenets.."

"Sirte"

"er, Sirte, will be pleased with the goalless draw, but this puts the Barunian team in a precarious position in the tables. Right now we're behind Western Cuba on tiebreakers, so we will need to get some points from the game against United Gordonopia if we to stand any chance of advancing. Which means we can't lose."

"That's right. Now to bring us more on tonight's game, Kitty Smith is live at the ground."

"Hi guys, great to see you again. Another game with some great chances and no results. Blanche Almond came close early, but Willans was able to get a hand to it. One of the stand out players of the game was Berndt Umber, who made a great game. here we see him pouncing on a really good shot form Castolo, just denying the Suns any chance to score, and again a header from Montoya is deflected over the bar. The rest of the game was pretty much a passing game around the midfield, really very few shots, in fact the Suns had only five shots on goal, while the Nenets managed just two. But of course, none of them could result in goals, so the Suns are left with their second nil-all draw of the tournament."

"Thanks Kitty. That's all from us for this week. We leave you tonight with some highlights from the game. Until next time, Adios Barunia!"

[Ossidiacqua]

Yoann Vega was sitting in a darkened room. As were his players. It was a punishment. Someone had kicked a ball at someone else in training whilst Vega was making a speech, impressing upon them the need to take this last match extra seriously now that they had lost to Mytannion. Or something like that. Or, he'd been telling someone off for kicking the ball away and somebody started making a speech about Mytannion. Was that it? Or did someone from Mytannion kick the ball at Vega whilst he was trying to make a speech about being serious? It certainly seemed within the realms of possibility, but it didn't sound or feel familiar. Ah, no! That was it! He'd taken them in because someone kicked the ball way whilst he was giving a talk, yes. Or was that what I said originally? Either way, it was complicated, and now they were all getting punished whilst they thought about how important the situation was.

Someone coughed, and Vega raised his voice to remind them of why they were there. They were there to think about the impact the next game would have. Yet again, la Renaissance had reached the Cup of Harmony, only to start producing some woeful performances, and all this after coming within three points of a playoff place. The nation would not allow the players to keep using the Cup of Harmony as some kind of harmless kick-about that they didn't need to take seriously. They simply wouldn't allow it. What's more, the Magisterium wouldn't allow it either, and with that went Vega's job. Or worse, his life.

Vega shifted uncomfortably in his seat, realising that he needed to use the bathroom quite badly. It must have been close to an hour now, imposing a period of silent meditation on your players was all well and good if you were well prepared in the bladder area, but Vega's bladder was beginning to disobey his wishes rather more often than he'd have liked. He thought about the next opponent to try and take his mind off things, and realised with a start of embarrassment that he had no idea what to expect of Zwangzug. Who were they? What were their dangers? What were they famous for, again? He recognised the name but beyond that he was clueless. All he could guess at was that he was almost certain they wouldn't be as tough to beat as Mytannion had proved, and that la Renaissance were possibly ranked above them, too. He hoped, anyway. They'd certainly punched above their weight in the qualifying stages, and were perhaps in a better place than they had ever been before, but that still wasn't perfect, and if only Vega hadn't left his notes from his assistants behind in his room, he might have been able to do some homework for the match ahead. Instead, in the gloom, meditation would be the continuing course of action. It was what he was doing, and what the players were doing. Thinking, dwelling, considering, meditating, preparing.

At least, that's what he hoped the players were doing. He couldn't quite shake the idea that at least some of them at the back were playing card games in the half light. This was getting them nowhere.

"Sod this," he announced, "go do something useful."

And the players went out into the sunshine, bouncing a ball and gambolling like lambs. Vega asked Velasquez to lead the players on a fitness drill, until someone suggested a game of heads and volleys and they ran off using jumpers for goalposts. Vega sighed. That was precisely not what he was hoping for.

[Licentiapacisterra]

The Cyan-and-Gold Observer

Cup of Harmony Final Joined By Event On The Islands

The Royal Licentian Football Association has announced an event in the Licentian capital of Montfort as a build-up to the Cup of Harmony final in Apox, with big screens up in the city to show the final itself.

The event will include a fair, talks with big names in Licentian and Apoxian football, and pundits from the two nations competing in the final. There will also be music and food from various nations, with any nation involved in the Cup welcome to send their own suggestions for participation. The Final-Fest, as it is being called, will be headlined by Licentian indie band, The Flight, along with former Cyan-and-Gold manager Nathan Gardiner-Stewart, who will be compering the event. It looks like the RLFA is rolling out the red carpet for those fans who choose to remain in the Islands rather than making the trip to Apox for the final.

...and this is your cut-off for the final group match. The above-mentioned event, as suggested in the article, is an open invitation, with people welcome to send anything they fancy that may improve the event. You won’t get any extra bonus for using this idea, it’s just something to get your creative juices flowing, and possibly to keep those who have been eliminated involved.

[Licentiapacisterra]

Group 1
Armed Bears 1–1 Shadowbourne
Gaveo 2–2 Legalese

Group 1                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Armed Bears                3   1  2  0    9   5  +4    5 Q
2 Legalese                   3   0  3  0    5   5   0    3 PQ
3 Shadowbourne               3   0  3  0    2   2   0    3
4 Gaveo                      3   0  2  1    4   8  −4    2

Group 2
The Inevitable Syndicate 3–0 The Sova Empire
Swyftlandre 0–1 Sargossa

Group 2                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sargossa                   3   2  1  0    8   5  +3    7 Q
2 Swyftlandre                3   1  1  1    3   1  +2    4 PQ
3 The Inevitable Syndicate   3   1  1  1    4   3  +1    4
4 The Sova Empire            3   0  1  2    4  10  −6    1

Group 3
Western cuba 0–0 Nenets Autonomous Okrug
Barunia 0–1 United Gordonopia

Group 3                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 United Gordonopia          3   2  1  0    4   2  +2    7 Q
2 Western cuba               3   0  3  0    1   1   0    3 PQ
3 Nenets Autonomous Okrug    3   0  2  1    1   2  −1    2
4 Barunia                    3   0  2  1    0   1  −1    2

Group 4
Maklohi Vai 1–1 Hyskigland
Powersith 0–1 Jeruselem

Group 4                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Jeruselem                  3   2  1  0    8   5  +3    7 Q
2 Hyskigland                 3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4 PQ
3 Maklohi Vai                3   0  3  0    4   4   0    3
4 Powersith                  3   0  1  2    0   3  −3    1

Group 5
Sicoutimont 1–2 Kishrael
Northern Sunrise Islands 3–4 Qazox

Group 5                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Qazox                      3   1  2  0    8   7  +1    5 Q
2 Kishrael                   3   1  2  0    6   5  +1    5 PQ
3 Northern Sunrise Islands   3   1  1  1    7   7   0    4
4 Sicoutimont                3   0  1  2    4   6  −2    1

Q - Qualified
PQ - Potentially qualified. Watch out for Apox's results in a couple of hour's time to determine your fate.

[Slembana]

"We lost, Jyvx."

"I know, Aaron. It means that we're bottom of our Cup of Harmony 56 group."

"What was the score?"

"We lost 1-0."

"To who?"

"Alexanderburn. They're ranked joint-167th in the rankings, 82 places below us."

"That's bullshit. However, it was always going to happen. This is the CoH, after all, and we have never won a game before in the CoH. In addition, we have a history of losing to teams ranked lower than us."

"Yup. It's pretty embarrassing, really. Bad luck is sticking to us like a bloody magnet."

"It does. A pity, really. We had so much potential when we got into international football as an unranked nation back in 2012. However, we haven't got higher than 81st in the KPB rankings, and we're already near the end of our fourth World Cup Cycle. Many teams who first entered the WC after us are ahead of us. I'm sure even more will do the same after the CoH, like Barunia and Saintland. It's pretty embarrassing."

"It is. We really need to improve, now."

"Yep. Who do we have next?"

"Kinitaria. They're ranked 36th in the world, a full 50 places ahead of us."

"We'll definitely lose. If we can't even beat bloody Alexanderburn, then God knows how we'll be able to beat Kinitaria."

"That's right. However, Kinitaria have only picked up one point from 2 games in this CoH. Still, it would be unwise to bet against them this time around. They're streets ahead of us, even though they are an unconvincing team."

"Yup. Do you think that Gaudreau will go if we fail to beat Kinitaria?"

"If we're allowed to sack him at this point, then yes. He may have won Friendly Cup 7 in 2020, making him only the second manager of our team to win a tournament, but this is his second CoH, and we've done awfully in both. If we beat Kinitaria, however, he'll stay."

"I see. Bye Jyvx."

"Bye Aaron."

---

Michael Holandville's nature facts

The Common Sock

1. The Common Sock is the most widespread member of the sock family. Its population, as of 2024, numbers 24 million.
2. The Common Sock is 30 cm (1 ft) tall.
3. The Common Sock lives up to 5 years of age.
4. Dominant male Common Socks mate with all of the females in the area they are dominant over Each female can give birth to up to 10 babies. All Common Socks in the area form a group called a "team". One team can consist of thousands of members.
5. Socks are found in almost every land habitat - even houses.

[Kalumba]

On The Lash With The Lads

What a waste of bloody time. The team is knackered and it has showed, we mustered a single goal from our two games so far and lost them both. Which means we have almost certainly finished bottom and will with all probability finish with zero points. Whyever the FA thought that appearing in such an energy-sapping tournament so soon after an out of training side played their hearts, and lungs, out at an exhausting World Cup qualification campaign is surely beyond the most rational mind.

But they went ahead, and I suppose achieved one of our goals- putting Kalumba back on the international sporting map. But sadly we have only gone back on the map as an easy three points during this tournament, and perhaps in future the FA will think twice before accepting an invite at such a busy time of year and when the team is pysically incapable of competing. They tried but they failed, in the process perhaps undoing thee good work of the WCQs. Good luck to all the other teams out there, especially fellow BoF winners New Sideburn, but Kalumba are signing off.

Mr Spleen
O, the views of Mr Spleen are his own and in no way represent the views of Kalumba and should be ignored entirely.

Apple-ogies for the lack of and poor quality RPing, but essays and shiz crept up on me.

[Kinitaria]

(OOC: Apologies for the short RP/previous lack of RP. RL is not currently my friend.)

Talking Tactics
A look at the modern game

Melody Pond and the new manager effect: what's going wrong at Kinitaria?

Another cycle brought with it another agonising failure to qualify for the World Cup, the end of Evinov's reign at the helm of the Kinitar national side, and Kinitaria's first female manager. But, with one point from two games against lower-ranked sides in the Cup of Harmony, Kinitaria are staring elimination in the face. Victory over Slembana is an absolute necessity to avoid Kinitaria's worst-ever showing at the tournament. But what's the verdict on the opening games of Pond's reign?

THE GOOD

Attacking threat: While some may dispute that there have been any good points coming out of Pond's first 180 minutes, Kinitaria still look threatening going forward. They have now only been shut out twice in 42 attempts (both 0-0 draws against Zwangzug) and look to be one of the most potent sides in the world going forward. A 4-4-2 formation with four players (the two wide midfielders pushing up to support) in attack has been a staple of the Kinitar game for some time, and four goals against anyone - even if it is Mashiki - doesn't come easily. Even against Alexanderburn, the threats were there, and Kinitaria kept pushing, and were desperately unlucky not to get anything from the game. Crucially for Pond, though, managers are judged on results, not luck.

Fighting spirit: Trailing 2-0 to a Mashiki team they would, on paper, be expected to defeat quite easily, Kinitaria didn't let their heads drop. They kept going and managed to pull the game around (before letting it slip again, yes, but still), and managed to come away with a point that they maybe didn't deserve. Although Pond presents a quiet, withdrawn figure in public, she has managed to install some hope into the massed ranks of Kinitar fans - now to hope it doesn't get lost amongst disaster against Slembana...

Organisation: This was one thing which Kinitaria definitely lacked during World Cup qualification, and Pond has managed to impose her own structure on the Kinitar side. It won't win trophies by itself, but it's the first step. Kinitaria need to be more disciplined, and they've taken their first step towards doing that, playing with two banks of four which, while they don't always move as one like they're supposed to, are at least showing the beginnings of becoming a structured outfit.

THE BAD

Defending: Oh boy. Defending has always been a weak spot of the Kinitar team, and it has showed during the Cup of Harmony. Weak goals conceded against Alexanderburn and Mashiki could prove to be Pond's undoing even at this early stage, as Kinitar teams of the past have found. But the goals are not isolated incidents - Mashiki could count themselves unlucky not to have more than four, something which really didn't sit well with the Kinitar faithful. Their side are slow to close down, unable to mark opponents, and fail to react to emergency situations. This is something which needs sorting out quick, or Kinitaria are going to be in trouble.

Leadership: Doran Lupei is supposed to be the Kinitar captain, but he's not showing it. There's been nothing in his performance that makes you say, that is the person who should be leading the national team. There have been no standout performances, no-one who's been prepared to charge into battle, no strong spine of the team such as the one which won the Baptism of Fire all those years ago. Kinitaria are a weakened side, frightened to make tackles, able to be hassled off the ball, and unable to impose themselves on games they should be dominating.

Ageing squad: This is quite possibly the crux of the problem. Kinitar talisman Luka Sabčot is 32. Costin Petran is 35. The hopes of a nation are resting on a squad which is too old to have a great deal of pace, and not physical enough to make up for it in other ways. A large portion of the 23 who are at the Cup of Harmony have been with the national selection ever since they played their first game - and while it can be said that there's no substitute for experience, these players have had their time in the limelight. Melody Pond needs to find a whole new squad ahead of the next cycle - this is a problem that runs deeper than just this tournament or this manager, although she must accept some of the blame for playing with an experimental squad in the opening game of a major tournament. Work to be done.

So, what is to be done? Nothing less than victory over Slembana and advancement to the next phase of the Cup of Harmony will be accepted by the notoriously fickle Kinitar fans. Failure could put Pond in a dangerous position before she's even had a chance to work with her new squad. Federation bosses wouldn't sack her this early, though - she'll have a chance to redeem herself in the next cycle. This is not the start she would have wanted to make, though.

[Armed Bears]

”Heyyah!”

“Ur’rmm?
“Oh, it’s you.”

“Was me the last time that I looked, anyhows.”

“So, you smell excited, hwhat’s new?”

“The extra players that Harrya and Ug-Ug kept promising we’d be sent have actually arrived.”

“For true?”

“For true! Here’s a copy of the details, as given for adding to the match programmes…”

# 27 _ Marrana o Wirrenne _ Clan = Herrchaum; home team =Mighty Herrchaum, category & usual position = Goalkeeper, experience = 7 years; age = 23 years, left-pawed, fur = strawberry-blonde.

#15 _ Harrarlha Herrchaum-Errh _ Clan = Herrchaum; home team = Merlchester Rovers, category = Defender, preferred position =Left Back, experience = 6 years; age = 21 years, left-pawed, fur = light-medium brown.

#30 _Jorarna BigBear _ Clan = GreenWoods; home team = Harr Vorros Heroines, category = Defender or Midfielder, preferred position = Lynchpin, experience = 7 years; age = 22 years, left-pawed, fur = dark-medium brown, height = 8’4” (!).

#24 _ Marra o Goodsword _ Clan = Sun; home team =Kingly City, category = Forward, preferred position =Left Forward or Centre Forward, experience = 6 years; age = 23 years, left-pawed, fur = blonde.

#25 _ Robirna WestFells _ Clan = WestWoods; home team =Harr Fherredh Rangers, category = Forward, preferred position = Centre Forward or Right Forward, experience = 5 years; age = 23 years, right-pawed, fur = light brown.

#26 _ Serreema Troutcatcher_ Clan = SeaBear; home team = Port Sammidge, category = Winger, preferred position = Right Winger, experience = 6 years; age = 21 years, right-pawed, fur = medium-brown & quite long.

“Hr’rmm, pretty good lot there. I saw o Goodsword play in the League Cup’s final last season, when Kingly City beat the Barbariennes by five goals to three and she not only scored two of City’s herself but assisted significantly on two of their other three as well. If only we’d had her along for the World Cup qualifiers…
“… or even for last night’s game, against Shadowbourne, for that matter: Hokay, so gaining the one point from that draw was enough to get our girls through to the knockouts, but even so that was hrrather a disappointing hrresult hwhen you bear in mind that their opponents are only rrrated all the way down at one-EightSquared-and-sevenEights’th.
“Hokay, so a freak gust of wind catching a clearance-kick by the other team’s goalie and carrying it all of the way up the field into to the Belles’ own goal — at a moment hwhen DeBruin was out of position trying to see hwhat was happening down at the other end — to equalise maybeso wasn’t exactly something that our girls should have been expecting, but even so…”

“Ayyuh, but we didn’t have those players then, or then, and we have to live in the world as it hrreally is hrrather than as we might wish it to be: Hrright?”

“Hrright, I suppose.”

“Anyhows, after all that delay, she and the others are here now.
“Oh, and ABFA have issued a press rrelease about the team’s future.”

“Ayyuh?”

“Ayyuh. They’ve said that although the Belles’ poor placing at the end of World Cup qualifiers was obviously a disappointment getting to the next stage of this Cup instead has hrredeemed the team… at least maybeso, anyhows.”

“Maybeso?”

“Ayyuh. Apparently if our girls hadn’t got through to the Round of TwoEights here then they’d have had to hold at least second place in their group at the end of the next World Cup’s qualifying stages in order not to see the Belles disbanded, but now they “only” have to at least maintain their original level in the group by the end of those games instead… and each further round that they manage to progress in this Cup now will give them an extra place-worth of freedom in that rrrespect.”

“Hr’rmm. That’s actually a bit better than I’d expected. After hearing some of the rrrumours that were going around during the last few months, I’d been half-worried that the Belles would actually have to win this Cup outright in order for ABFA to enter them in the next World Cup…”

“Urrgah! Now that you say that, I can hrreally imagine ABFA making such a decision: Thank the Good Spirits that they didn’t!”

“Ayyuh, for true!”


(OOC; I've added these extra players to my roster post earlier in this thread, too.)

[Mytannion]

by Sebastian Krause

In the snowy, mountainous city of Kitzbuhel, the district of Preußen blinks with brightly coloured neon signs advertising various brothels and bars. This is after all one of the biggest red light districts in the whole of Rushmore, a party destination for stag parties from around the region (well, when the country isn't in the middle of a civil war, anyway), and an area that has proud memories of football from a bygone era.

It is this latter thing that rather defines Preußen now, with the skull and crossbones of the 'cult' club of the area flying on almost every street corner - rather than the sleazy beginnings that would have given the district fame at one point in the not so distant past. It has to be remembered that Kitzbuhel is an inherently working class city, but the Preußen district is even more so, dominated by factories and chimneys that puff out industrial waste indiscriminately all day long.

The notorious black and white flag isn't some sort of nod towards an obscure seafaring past of the city - of which there are none, given that it is based around the lower hills of a mountain - but instead is paying homage to the area's most famous produce. FC Preußen Kitzbuhel. The team that is often described as the most left-wing football club in the world, a team that is expected to be challenging at the top of the Mytanar Second Division this season and potentially winning promotion to the 12th ranked league in the world, the Mytanar Top League.

Now, left-wing is normally a term reserved for politics, but in Mytannion, politics and football are intricately linked with ultras groups often having political bases which they work off heavily. It often depends on what sort of area the team is from, or the area the most hardcore supporters are located, sometimes there is no reason at all (see the fascist/racist ultras group of Energia-Yaderny Miago), but it is all linked together and is a matter of huge importance to the most important fans of each club (i.e. the ones that make the most noise).

Erwin Hedler, a life-long Preußen Kitzbuhel fan, explained how this all started: "It was basically because of the working class area the club are located in, it was an area frequented by students because of the low-income housing and the squatter settlements. They brought a different atmosphere to the area, a vibe of being poor and having to fight against this poverty. The people here were the poor and they had to fight against the rich to reach equality - because the rich weren't helping anyone but themselves. The football club was used as a vehicle for this political message."

When asked about the skull and crossbones, he laughed. "Ah, the bones... It's a symbol. We are like pirates and we have to plunder from the rich - the rich teams, the rich people et cetera - and give back to the poor to reach a more egalitarian society, with opportunities for all."

Preußen Kitzbuhel had traditionally be always equal with their rivals in the city, Borussia Kitzbuhel, the two often being equal on the pitch. In the same league and often not having much success of note. However, big teams that were relatively local to the city (Torpedo Vershina, 1923 Esca, Dinamo Esca, Litala '93 etc), had left them in a large shadow for large periods of their history. But during the 1970s and 80s, local squatters, anarchists, socialists, prostitutes, students and punks started filling the creaking terraces of the Nagel Stadion, giving it an altogether different feel from the others.

With Mytanar football on the whole at this time being mired with violence, homophobia, sexism and racism (at times, although less prevalent), Preußen Kitzbuhel took a more mellow stance, their fans launching anti-racism and anti-homophobia campaigns - while also making the terraces at their stadium a safe place for women to go - years before other clubs took any interest in making changes to the way things were.

"We were the first, we forced other groups that said they held left-wing agendas to jump into action along with ourselves. Atletik's ultras, the Kippax Ofras followed suit soon after we made our anti-homophobia tifo, when we said racism wasn't acceptable, CDSA Decraa joined us - and now these two have the two 'biggest' left-wing groups in the country. It was us first." Recalled Hedler. "Our fans were the first to say we don't want these things in football."

Ever since then the club has led the way in various campaigns, actively campaigning on important issues, when refugees arrived from Mwembamba, they organised a football tournament between fiercely left-wing clubs in which they raised money for the refugees so they could find housing and food.

They even forced a politician to resign from office after making a derogatory - racist - remark to a person from a minority ethnic group, they campaigned, travelling to the capital with their ultras group and camping outside the House of Representatives, chanting, waving flags and stating that this was completely unacceptable. They protested against potential housing reforms which could prevent those on low-incomes getting state support for owning their own property, the attention they drew to the subject led to others also protesting and eventually the legislation being dropped.

The club's unique relationship with its fans is perhaps the most important thing though. The club can do little with out consulting its fans first, they own a large portion of the club (approximately 75%), but also purely on the basis that they are the lifeblood of the team and one of the five core tenets of the club's existence - a constitution put forward in 1987 - says that the fans have to be included on important decisions due to them being what has made the club such a high profile organisation in the first place.

Recently the club agreed to never sell the naming rights to the stadium after heavy pressure from the club's fans, a phenomenon that has tore across many countries, with stadiums being named after businesses or other organisations was completely forbidden from arriving at this 'cult' club ever.

Unsurprisingly, the anti-commercial, anti-capitalist credo which has given the club such a cult following has left Preußen at something of a financial disadvantage when up against clubs with huge amounts of financial backing, like 1896 Ebor and FC Ararat Severyan.

Previous stints in the Mytanar Top League have been brutally swift, their last spell in the top-flight lasted but a single season, in 2002/2003 they finished bottom of the pile as 1896 Ebor romped to their 2nd title. That season they won only five games, finishing a distant 16th and looking to be in financial trouble to boot - relegation soon after to the Third Division almost killed them off for good until Daniel Bach arrived at the club, a success in the music industry and the first openly gay club president in Mytanar football was tasked with keeping the club's principles whilst also allowing them to have economic viability and to survive.

"The club, financially, was dead. In 2003 all the players left the club as they couldn't be paid, we were hit with a points deduction for failing to pay our players and it was a really hard time. It was a question of going on, trying to survive or letting our club die," recalled Bach, "The main question, for me, however, was how to keep our iconic and unique identity while on the other hand knowing that we are a professional football team and so have to be run as such."

Bach heavily marketed the club, something which went against its anti-commercial principle but had to be done in order for the club to survive. This attracted a new wave of supporters who were disillusioned with the way football had become in their own country, it had become a business and was run like one, revolving around money. Preußen Kitzbuhel offered an alternative. The club has over 8 million fans worldwide and sells approximately £6.5 million of merchandise a year. The stadium has been redeveloped to include business seats and suites, reforms that were unthinkable a few years ago but which arguably have saved the club from extinction.

Bach knew there were limits to what he could do in terms of making the club more financially viable. "A lot of clubs here have their stadium named after a company that has bought the rights to the naming rights, some have given the name to three big companies in just ten years. How can you build an identity if you keep renaming the stadium? We decided not to give the name of the stadium to a company, but it has cost us millions every year."

"And teams here buy players cheap and sell them for high, ridiculously inflated fees. How can your fans identify with the team if you're just a football shop for the rest of Rushmore and the world? Sure it makes them financially viable but we're obligated to pay a fair price for young players, bringing through players from our own academy and then basing the rest of our signings on free transfers and loans. Some say it means you have a ragtag bunch of players but it gives your team an identity and something the fans can relate to. We follow a philosophy of trying to sign local players, this helps identification between fans and players and the end goal for us is to have a team made up of eleven players born in the city."

"It may be a way for club's to make profits with out exploiting fans or becoming commercialised - but it is a way of cheating smaller clubs out of money they deserve. You can still be viable, just don't spend beyond your means and then you do not hurt your fans or have to give in to commercialisation." He expanded on the topic.

Their manager, Steffen Trommler seems to be the only one who has bemoaned their anti-capitalist principles, "Some fans don't like it, the merchandising and other commercial considerations, they say it contradicts the foundations the team was built upon." He continued, "But if you don't move with the times you'll languish in the lower leagues or go out of existence, there is some that think it may be better to hold with principles. But if you want to play in the Top League and have them principles displayed to the world you must change things slightly, you must renovate your stadium. If we go up, we'll be able to spend about £4 million, whereas everybody else has £8 to £10 million. But you must also be Preußen Kitzbuhel, and keeping the priorities equal is difficult.

The rebel spirit remains though and the ultras group Die Kult, still clash with the club and occasionally the authorities on matters of principle. The club's roots remain on show in the club's bar, which doubles as an indie, alternative music venue.

In the next few seasons, Preußen Kitzbuhel hope to mirror clubs like Arka Snezhnaya by achieving promotion and stabilising their position in the Top League while also employing Mytanar players and building on their principles whilst remaining financially viable. Bach has stated that it his mission to get promoted by 2019, to stay in the Top League and have a club whose players were all developed at the club by 2024, an all Mytanar squad by 2027 and then finally a squad entirely made up of Kitzbuhel born players as a long-term goal. This is still with them sticking to their principles and not spending too much money. It will be interesting to watch this interesting club try and achieve this dream.

[Apox]

CUT-OFF

Apologies for the delay

Group 6
Mashiki 6–4 Alexanderburn
Slembana 3–2 Kinitaria

No  Nation             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1  Alexanderburn        3    2   0   1     7    7    0     6 - Q
2  Mashiki              3    1   2   0    11    9   +2     5 - PQ
3  Slembana             3    1   1   1     4    4    0     4
4  Kinitaria            3    0   1   2     7    9   −2     1

Group 7
Ossidiacqua 5–2 Zwangzug
Filopines 3–5 Mytannion

No  Nation            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1  Mytannion            3    3   0   0     7    3   +4     9 - Q
2  Ossidiacqua          3    1   1   1     6    4   +2     4 - PQ
3  Filopines            3    0   2   1     6    8   −2     2
4  Zwangzug             3    0   1   2     4    8   −4     1

Group 8
Cassdaigua 4–1 Kalumba
New Sideburn 2–1 Karditan

No  Nation             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1  New Sideburn         3    3   0   0     7    2   +5     9 - Q
2  Cassdaigua           3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4 - PQ
3  Karditan             3    1   1   1     3    3    0     4
4  Kalumba              3    0   0   3     2    7   −5     0
Cassadaigua over Karditan on goals for.

Group 9
Hutt River 1–0 Mangolana
Saintland 1–1 Turori

No  Nation            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1  Turori               3    2   1   0     4    1   +3     7 - Q
2  Saintland            3    1   2   0     5    4   +1     5 - PQ
3  Hutt River           3    1   1   1     4    5   −1     4
4  Mangolana            3    0   0   3     0    3   −3     0

As a result, the following nations have qualified as a result of topping their group: Armed Bears, Sargossa, United Gordonopia, Jeruselem, Qazox, Alexanderburn, Mytannion, New Sideburn and Turori.

The following naitons have qualified by being in the top 5 second placed nations: Swyftlandre, Kishrael, Ossidacqua, Mashiki, Saintland

The following nations will have a play-off to determine who goes through to the Round of 16: Legalese, Western cuba, Hyskigland and Cassadaigua

The play-off matches are as follows (randomly seeded): Legalese vs Cassadaigua

Western cuba vs Hyksigland

[Nenets Autonomous Okrug (Ancient)]

Nensport broadcast

And that was the reindeer rassling first half!

In other sports news, the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug is headed home after failing to advance in the Cup of Harmony after a scoreless draw with Western Cuba.

Group 3 features four sides; three match days; six matches; thousands of kilometres of travel; and only six goals by all teams combined. Truly a low-scoring wonderland!

Details tonight at, oh, sunset-ish. Now, back to Vorkuty where the reindeers are getting rassless!

!

[United Gordonopia]

Just for context's sake, this series of RPs is based off of The Bastard NS Mod from Hell, which itself is a take on The Bastard Operator from Hell. This specific character is my own Bastard II Mentor from Hell, but for the context of this RP he is 'on a vacation' and looking to unwind from his 'Goosestepping Purification of the Roleplaying (II) Forums'. Standard disclaimer that this is intended as a parody and not to be taken seriously (don't worry, I am most certainly not a Nazi and if the persona seems a bit harsh, it's all in good humor). Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated by TG.

---

The Bastard II Mentor Sports RPer from HELL!
Year 1 - Volume 2
Things to Come
By: United Gordonopia - Bastard RPer alter-ego "UntersturmführerStriker Gordonopia"

Well, I suppose I can always work out the bugs later. A win is a win (even if I knew ahead of time the three points would be mine), so finishing 2-1-0 is... adequate.

Now its time to grease the wheels a bit for the knockout stage. After all, a smooth vacation is a fun vacation, and I only have so much RPing dime to spend. If I can find the discount nations all the locals play, I can save a fortune!

All I need to do is get back into the file, make sure the lowest ranked nations move on and that I get drawn the easy path to the finals, and...

*Kuckle Crack

*Clicky Clicky

Oh God...

Hey, whoever hacked the input file last night, I'm onto you. Don't try anything funny.

What gave it away? It couldn't have been changing the names of every other nation to 'Wanker' could it?

Of course I don't think can't suspect it was me... I'm just a tourist after all...

Assuming that he must have some sort of backup, to cross reference of course and figure out who's been messing with the file, I decide to retreat and plan a new course of action. A new strategy is needed. Something loud. Something visible. Something that will make me feel like a real local.

I down another glass of schnapps (boy I'm running out fast; may have to send some native to go pick up some more), and make my way over to the discussion forum. Now they'll get a taste of what a tourist is like when they really make trouble.


~UntersturmführerStriker Gordonopia
~Goosestepping Purifier of the Roleplaying ForumsVacationing Practitioner of Roleplayed Athletics
~Bastard II Mentor Sports RPer... from Hell!!!

[Swyftlandre]

Swyft-Nationalists in failed Terrorist Attack

Background Information:
With all the states of tension in Esportiva seeming to whittle down, one might be mistaken for thinking that all the deaths and horrifying revelations of war experienced during the Battle of the Hydrabondante Sea would be over. This is not the case, while the Swyftlandre Government and the Licenteaandbuiscuits (ED Note: Spell check this please and don't just quote the Sticky Note) Government are furthering their alliance by strengthening trade bonds, the Red Hand of Swyftlandre,

The 'Red Hand' Logo

a small Extremist group who have threatened 'penalties' on Licentiapacisterra for not openly supporting Swyftlandre in the war. Given their legal past (Three of the founding members have experience as Lawyer's) they have managed to become a Loud Group in Licentiapacisterra, inflicting responses from the Swyftlandian Government themselves urging them to stop their activity before it became a threat to the alliance. This apparent attempt at "Silencing Freedom of Speech in the nature of Licentiapacisterra's anti-Swyft regime" only fueled their activity.

The Red Hand of Swyftlandre, despite their highly controversial existence, still continued to grow as a presence in Licentiapacisterra due to their countless appearances on both Licentian and Swyft National Television. On February 15th, attempts at the President's (ED Note: President? Prime Minister?) Life were made on two separate occasions by "rogue" members of the Group. Although the leader, Joel O'Sullivan, while claiming no actual link to the assassination attempts did say that it was a deserved response to Licentiapacisterra's "actions". Until today, the group has remained ominously quiet.

Breaking News:
Police Officials are claiming that a bomb was found un-detonated in Row F, where the Minister of Esportivan Affairs for Licentiapacisterra's tickets were placed (which isn't an odd assumption to make given his close 'friendship' with Swyft-Striker Sacheverell Webster). The bomb was found during half-time after a 'peculiar ticking noise' was heard and gameplay between Sargossa was delayed for three hours as Police thoroughly surveyed the University Stadium.

Update: The five 'senior members' of the Red Hand of Swyftlandre have been blamed for the attempt and gunfire opened when the Police caught onto their secret location within the University of Montfort. Three Members were arrested and one was shot in Combat and died of wounds. Four Police Officers also sustained injuries from the gun fight. The fifth member, Leader Joel O'Sullivan escaped the gunfight and is wanted on counts of resisting Police Arrest, Attempted Murder, Carrying a Loaded Weapon and Suspected Terrorism. All people within Montfort are being urged to be cautious and contact the Police should they spot the man or see suspicious behavior, especially those close to the Campus.

After a forced meeting of the Swyftlandian Government, the Swyftlandian Minister of Foreign Affairs Henry Miah has released a statement condemning the actions of The Red Hand of Swyftlandre and requesting that they be extradited to Swyftlandre to face legal action.

This is a rapidly unfolding story and more news is expected in the days to come.

[Jeruselem]

Michelle Salad and Princess Katy after Jeruselem made the CoH finals beating Powersith 1-0

Katy: We did it Fruity! We're in the finals
Michelle: Thank the Gods for that
Katy: Qazox make it too, topping their group
Michelle: Good news then for you Qazians then
Katy: I see Pondy's new team didn't make though
Michelle: She's only just taken over the team, can't expect miracles

Katy: Kinitaria had 1 draw and two losses
Michelle: I think she'll do better when she gets used to the job
Katy: She doesn't have my sis to support her now
Michelle: Yes, that must be hard
Katy: Well, we'll support her!
Michelle: Unless she plays Jeruselem or Jeru FC that is

Katy: Cassadaigua scraped into the playoffs, just
Michelle: Scrappy perfomance from them really
Katy: Yes, we expect better from them
Michelle: True
Katy: Oh well
Michelle: It must be hard for Pondy to be having a new team and then dealing with a new set of people

Katy: Yes, I think 3 games isn't enough to get ready. I think the Kinitarians are getting used to her.
Michelle: I mean it took me a while to get used this job
Katy: And then she has to learn Kinitarian language as well
Michelle: Yes, nothing is easy
Katy: It's all hard work
Michelle: Wonder who we get as our next opponent?

Katy: God knows!
Michelle: There's some really good teams here, we can't be complacent
Katy: So true fruity
Michelle: Oh well done on your single being number one in Jeruselem
Katy: Thanks, but the single was really my sisters
Michelle: Still, a top hit is still a top hit

Katy: I guess Jeruselemites just love a nice pair of boobies
Michelle: Yes I guess they do
Katy: I hope it inspires the team you know
Michelle: I'm sure some are inspired already
Katy: Sounds good to me
Michelle: I feel a bit cold

Katy: That's because you don't have much hair, wear a hat girl
Michelle: Good idea, don't want skin cancer in my head next
Katy: Yeah, that'd just be terrible
Michelle: My skin is already a bit ... ruined
Katy: Too much sun, make you all wrinkly
Michelle: I'll be prune salad if I get that wrinkly

Katy: Come on fruity, let's drink some wine
Michelle: I'll pass
Katy: I'll drink it all it myself then.
Michelle: It's not good for me these days
Katy: Just one glass
Michelle: I guess that won't hurt

[Qazox]

Qazox stun NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS in final 15 minutes, top Group 5.

You wanted drama, you got drama last night, as Qazox somehow some way came back from being two goals down and out of the Cup of Harmony at the 75th minute; to winning the match 4-3 and winning group 5 on a better goals scored mark. NSI opened the day needing but a draw to advance While Qazox needed a win and help to get in. Despite taking the early lead (13th minute by Jesse Hilton), The Marills dominated most of the match, and had a 3-1 lead [goals from Francisco de Sousa (24th); Larissa Pereira (51st) and Guillermo Di Luca (75th)] with 15 minutes left. Then started the drama.

in the 78th minute, Leandra Janos went down after a hard tackle from Brendan Crawford, that wasn't called. As Janos hobbled towards the sidelines, Qazox was effectively down a player, but perhaps inspired by the gutsy Janos, Charlie Wayne led an attack up the right side, finding Erika Bastille alone at the top of the box, and Bastille quickly made it 3-2 in the 81st minute. Janos came back on the pitch at that point, still hobbling and favoring her right leg. The Marills tried to run a play towards her side of the field, but was stopped cold by a diving Holly Wood save on a de Sousa shot. Wood saw a streaking Kevin McLaren up the right side as the NSI defense was a bit laggy getting back. McLaren outraced Justin Redwing, juked insdie and planted a goal just inside the far post in the 85th minute, tying the match at 3-all.

Moments later, the scoreboard flashed the final of the Kishrael -Sicoutimont match, a 2-1 win in favor of Kishrael. A draw now would send NSI through, and Qazox home and the Marills tried to run out the clock. But the Eagles sent just about everyone (excpet Janos and Wood) forward in an attempt to get one last chance. The sideline showed that there 4 minutes of injury time to be added, but for the last 6 minutes, Qazox had only fleetingly touched the ball. As time ticked closer to the final whistle, astealing lunge by Daeandra Atreau opened up a passing late to Remy Folk who quickly broke up field. As the defense closed in, Folk's only option was a high back pass towards Seth Toffler near the sideline. Toffler just barely kept the ball in play, and saw Florence Schumer open near the penalty area. A skipping pass to Schumer was just missed being taken by Matthew Di Martine, and Schumer slammed it home in the 90+3rd minute to give Qazox the stunning 4-3 victory and the group 5 title.

It is unknown who Qazox will play in the CoH Playoffs at this time.

[Hyskigland]

Di Hārold
Di Furš ænt End Āŋlɨš Tɨndiŋ av di Komunwelþ av Hískɨglænd

Sumir: Di Blʉ-Svards prepar špela Westakʉba far en triand mač.

---

The Herald
The First and Only English Newspaper of the Commonwealth of Hyskigland

The good news: the Blue-Blacks earned a hard-fought draw against Maklohi Vai last night, and have advanced as the second-place team in their group.

The bad news: the Blue-Blacks were one of the four weakest second-place teams to advance, meaning that the squad would have to play a playoff match just to get into the Round of Sixteen.

The worst news: the Blue-Blacks’ opponent will be Western Cuba, a team which Hyskigland met twice in World Cup qualifying. The Hyskiglandic squad lost both matches, the first by a score of 5-3 at home, and the second by a score of 5-2 on the road.

“Hey, we made it,” head coach Everett Lang said, laughing. “We had a shot to avoid these playoffs, but the ball bounced the wrong way in enough matches, so here we are. And, yes, we lost to Western Cuba twice in Group 9 during World Cup qualifying. But that only means that we know what to expect. They won the first two matchups, so they won’t be looking to change what has worked for them. We have the opportunity to adjust—the opportunity to grow.”

The match will take place tomorrow. A large number of Hyskiglandic fans are expected to make the journey overseas in order to cheer on the Blue-Blacks as they fight for the right to enter the Cup of Harmony playoff rounds.

[Licentiapacisterra]

The Cyan-and-Gold Observer

Security Services Pledge To Get Their Act Together

The Licentian security services have pledged to up their protection of the Cup of Harmony, after a piece of unexploded ordinance was found in University Stadium in Montfort during the Group 2 match between Sargossa and Swyftlandre.

We cannot confirm anything at this time, but the ordinance was allegedly placed beneath the seat of the Licentian Minister of Regional Affairs, Quinn Macmillan. Mr Macmillan was not at the game, after his daughter was taken ill, but is said to be “shaken up” after the incident. Reports that a Swyftlandian group based out of the University of Montfort were responsible are yet to be proven, and although the Campus Police were involved in a firefight at the University after the attack, a spokesman has stated that this was a drugs raid, and that it had no connection to the attempted murder of Macmillan. As soon as we have any substantiated reports, we will be bringing them to you here. In the meantime, keep your wits about you, but don’t worry, and certainly don’t stop spending your money here.

...and this is your cut-off for the playoffs. Scores will come soon, shortly followed by the draw for the Round of 16.

[Licentiapacisterra]

Cup of Harmony 56 - Playoff Round:

Legalese 0–2 Cassadaigua
at St Bart's Oval, St Bartholomew's Island

Western cuba 1–2 Hyskigland
at Coliseum of the Gaels, Abingdon

Round of 16 Draw:

Hyskigland vs Sargossa
Swyftlandre vs Ossidiacqua
Armed Bears vs United Gordonopia
Saintland vs Jeruselem
Cassadaigua vs New Sideburn
Qazox vs Kishrael
Mashiki vs Mytannion
Alexanderburn vs Turori

The first four games will be held in the Licentian Islands, the second half in Apox.

[Zwangzug]

The Bassabook Baritone

Special unique "Cup of Harmony elimination issue"

Golden oldies

Zwangzug had zeroed in on their goal of potentially defeating "la Renaissance" of Ossidiacqua and advancing to the Cup of Harmony knockout rounds. However, their efforts fell completely flat, and they will exit the group stage with only one point (international-style scoring) and be eliminated from the competition. Ossidiacqua, despite not reaching the number one position in the group, will also advance.

Zwangzug scored two goals, of course, matching their total against Filopines; Sally Ici-Holder and Yuuki Nakano both got on the scoresheet. Unfortunately, they lost by three, as Ossidiacqua put up five.

While their captain, Ricardo Velasquez, took a while to pick up the pace, his fellow central midfielder more than made up for the number eight's lack of speed and racked up plenty of assists. His domestic teammate, Alessandro Finiguerra, would score both the first and last goals for la Renaissance, bracketing goals from outside midfielders Lorenzo Borromeo and Kossi Fiorentino. To add insult to injury, Angel Capobianco racked up a goal as well, but shortly afterwards got sent off for a foul on Penny Consky-Bock--the Acquan game being an admirably unique, but comparatively violent one. Just thirteen minutes into the game, Aiyegbeni Fisichella had been issued a yellow card for fouling Kerry Tammany, but this mattered little to Ossidiacqua.

Of course, given the country's troubled internal history, they should be welcomed for finally stumbling into the twenty-first century. And Zwangzug's elimination really shouldn't have come as that much of a surprise--yes, there were past laurels to rest on, one supposes, but the caliber of the field has increased greatly in the intervening years. Fans can stop streaming their games and get back to responsible use of bandwidth. Less puritanical foreigners would make some debauche joke about rule 34 here, but we in Bassabook hold ourselves to higher standards.

A playoff stage will precede the full knockout rounds, and then only a few games remain before another champion takes its place with the previous 55. As for Zwangzug, no doubt most of these players and manager will be back for the next World Cup, pending retirements or how league form pans out. Though by far the worse side today, at least they kept their heads in the game and managed some semblance of hope up through the end--you don't get a break even after 89 minutes of being thrashed, there's always this stoppage time. While elimination might feel like a gross injustice given the flashes of form they exhibted during the qualifiers, it's something all fans have to get used to.

In conclusion, Ezekiel Fibonacci is the greatest.

[Sargossa]

“This is taking too long.” Captain Julio Bejarano glared at the glowing display of his timepiece. “Why is it taking too long?”

“The major roadways are all along the coast, these inland routes weren’t exactly built for mass mobilisation.”

Bejarano chose to ignore his aide’s slightly uppity tone and went back to fretting. Time was of the essence. Stanley had been taken quickly and cleanly and now Bejarano’s companies were at the forefront of a thrust deep into the Kűlmsaari interior. Further to the south a larger force was in the process of enveloping the town of Belgrano but Julio hadn’t the energy to worry about that. He had one target and one alone. Natalis was the key, if Natalis fell so too did Kűlmsaar. If the Sargossan army took that settlement they’d have control of the straits and a base of operations from which to push on to Agheim. Local reports suggested a seething mass of Sargossan loyalists were all ready to cause chaos once the army was sighted. They just has to bloody well get there.

Around him olive uniformed troops trudged across the landscape, behind his command jeep halftrucks and covered lorries transported yet more of the nation’s soldiery. Large artillery pieces bounced along behind the vehicles. The Polarians knew the importance of the straits as well as they did so some heavier weaponry might be required to dislodge them from their entrenchments. A curse came from the darkness, an infantryman had just turned his ankle in the gloomy conditions. Bejarano fretted again, he’d hoped to regroup and strike out again at dawn but the High Command had other ideas. His troops had barely finished cheering Sargossa’s third goal against Swyftlandre before they’d been unceremoniously turfed out of their encampments and set loose.

The road crested a rise in the landscape before dropping steeply down again into a gully, from his vantage point the captain could make out the distant glow of lights that could only be Natalis, still several hours away. The column descended into the deeper dark of the gully. A feint rumble of thunder made Bejarano glance to the skies, rain was the last thing they needed. But all he could see was a sky full of stars, not a cloud in sight. Odd.

His reverie was shattered by a chorus of shouts as the strange rumbling sound growing unmistakably louder. Suddenly large shapes appeared among his men, racing through their ranks and sending Sargossan troops in all directions.

“What the . . . ? Lights! Now!”

Atop the trucks crewmen scrambled for their large floodlights in an effort to reveal the identities of their mystery assailants. While beams of gleaming white light speared out into the darkness a bright explosion further down the column illuminated the scene in a violent burst of flame.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” Bejarano had graduated from the his military academy in impressive fashion but nothing there had prepared him for that unmistakable sight, that throw back to a bygone age. But he had to do something. “Fall back to the column! Fall back on the vehicles! Move!”

But his instructions were lost in the chaos as soldiers unloaded their weapons into the darkness to little effect and further explosions added their weight to the confusion. One sergeant got behind the workings of a large, jeep mounted machine gun and started to fill the night with bullets. He vainly tried to follow the run of one of the horse borne Polarians, never letting go of the trigger even when his target disappeared behind the bulk of a covered truck. The heavy bullets tore through the canvas, wreaking havoc upon those beyond.

“Idiotas! Cease your fire! They’ve got you shooting at each other. Cease fi . . .” A hefty jolt from behind sent Bejarano sprawling across the front of his jeep, the young lieutenant who served as his aide was catapulted from the vehicle completely. In the panic another truck had ploughed into the back of them. Bejarano dragged himself upright and attempted to gather his bearings. His aide too was climbing unsteadily to his feet, turning just in time to register the point of the lance that drove itself straight through him.

“Dammit!” He reached for his sidearm and levelled it at one of the freewheeling shapes in the dark. He was pretty sure it was the one who’d ridden down the lieutenant. He stared down the sights but glanced down suddenly as a weight clattered against his boot. “Oh shi . . .”

Pure self-preservation took over as Bejarano dropped his gun and threw himself from the jeep seconds before the grenade tore it apart. He hit the ground hard and covered his head as a wave of heat boiled over him. He picked himself up, shaking his head to try and stop a high pitch whistle that was probably a result of the explosion. Around him he became aware of olive coated forms, some groaning others lying very still. Further along the road vehicles sat at unusual angles, doors still open from when drivers had decided discretion was the better part of valour and legged it.

“Fall back.” He whispered. But the order was unnecessary, the vast bulk of his units were already fleeing into the night.

[New Sideburn]

Crowd Violence Sparks As New Sideburn Crushes Sub-Humans
by Jane Cauldron of the Brinemouth Herald

Since New Sideburn first made it to the world cup qualifiers, crowd violence has been a fear, as the notoriously rowdy Cormorants fans traditionally spend the pre-match ritual getting utterly hammered. However, it not until now that violence in the stands has actually erupted. At the sight of opposing sentient horses attempting to play football, a bizarre aberration of nature, the crowd jeered them relentlessly with every touch.

For the match itself, the Cormorants took an early lead through a scrappy Gerd Thunder.goal. However, the lead was short-lived, as Karditan equalised on the twenty-third minute. Their celebrations were interrupted as the infamous 'Hard Boys' ultras began pelting a veritable hailstorm of gluesticks at the Karditan squad. It took four minutes for order in the stands to be restored, but New Sideburn took the fight to Karditan, coming close several times before finally scoring the winner early in the second half.

The WCC has stated dismay at the actions of the Sideburnese fans. Henry Crossbow, President of the NSFA, has no comment on the matter.

Classy Entertainment
"Some crimes are simple, cut-and-dry. Find someone to take the blame and knock 'em up for a few years. But sometimes, things get more complicated. Sometimes, men like me have to go outside the law to see the real end of a case. My name is DS Brunt Ironside, and this is my story."
"Whatcha watching?" asked Karelline, casually holding a beer.
"Shhh." Kurtis leaned in closer to the laptop, entranced. A title sequence began, which largely consisted of DS Brunt Ironside beating people up and having sexual relations with curvaceous women.
"Wow," said Karelline, slightly sarcastically. "Now that's intellectual if I've ever seen it."
"It's a true classic," responded the goalkeeper, sounding slightly injured. "Anyway, they're remaking it, and I want to rewatch the original before I see the new version."
The midfielder sighed, sat down and sipped at her beer. A Victory Brew. 6.7% alcohol, not any of that prissy shit you find elsewhere. "Fine then, sell it to me. What's the plot?"
"DS Brunt Ironside is... well, a DS, a Detective Sergeant in the police. But when cases slip away from the law, him and his mate, DC Gregor Manhands, and his informant, Petrarch Gunstorm, take the law into their own hands, find the man and force him to confess."
Karelline looked sceptical. Kurtis just sighed. "Alright, then, well, if you're still not convinced you can watch the pilot with me, aye?"
The pilot was two hours long. At the end of it, Karelline was convinced, and that night she dreamt of moustaches.

Scene 4
DS IRONSIDE walks into the FILTHY RAVEN, a DISREPUTABLE PUB. Inside are ASSORTED RIFF-RAFF, as well as the bartender, a VERY FAT MAN named GUS.

GUS: What'll it be, Brunt?
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) The usual.

GUS pours him a PINT OF LAGER and throws a SHOT OF ESPRESSO into it.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Thanks.

Suddenly, a LARGE MAN walks into the bar holding a VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE WOMAN at gunpoint.

LARGE MAN: Don't nobody move! Just give me all of your money, right this minute!

All of the RIFF-RAFF cower in fear, many start screaming. GUS puts his hands up in a sign of submission. DS IRONSIDE pulls out a gun from his jacket pocket and shoots the LARGE MAN without turning his head.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Better make that a double shot of coffee, Gus.
VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE WOMAN: Oh, my God... ! How can I ever thank you?
DS IRONSIDE: (hands over a card) (gruffly) Here's my address. My shift ends at seven.

END SCENE

Scene 7
DS IRONSIDE enters a DISREPUTABLE NIGHTCLUB with TWO VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE WOMEN hanging off his arm. The BOUNCER moves into his way.

BOUNCER: Look, mate, I know it's not exactly kosher but I'm gonna have to get you out of here, the boss said not to let any coppers in-

DS IRONSIDE thumps the BOUNCER in the STOMACH and then kicks him in the FACE, before walking in, VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE WOMEN in tow. On the left as he enters, one of his more pathetic SNOUTs waves him to a table.

SNOUT: Hey, hey, here, Brunt! Brunt, I uh, I-

DS IRONSIDE headbutts SNOUT.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Only my mates call me Brunt.
SNOUT: Aw, geez, Br- sarge, I din't mean anything by it. But look, I got somethin' real good. Hey, is one of them broads for me?
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) No.
SNOUT: Oh. Well, uh, word on the street is that Jimmy the Hat is looking to move into coke dealing...
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Jimmy the Hat! That old toerag's evaded his probation once too often. I need to get my mates and head off after him.
SNOUT: So, uh, about the six charges of indecent exposure you were saying you might help me get dropped...
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) I'll think about it.
END SCENE.

Scene 9
JIMMY THE HAT, a lanky, frightened-looking teenager wearing TWO BASEBALL CAPS, is cowering in an ABANDONED WAREHOUSE. SOME KID walks up to him.

SOME KID: Oh man, DS Ironside's coming after you with his mates! You've got to get outta here!
JIMMY THE HAT: Uhh... uhhhh...

Enter DS IRONSIDE, with a SLEDGEHAMMER, entering by breaking down the door. Enter also DC GREGOR MANHANDS, with a SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Your days of unlawful profiteering are over, Jimmy! Get in there, Gregor.
JIMMY THE HAT: No! Please! Don't-

DC MANHANDS shoots off JIMMY THE HAT'S HATS.

DC MANHANDS: You put up a good fight. Hats off to you.

DC MANHANDS shoots JIMMY THE HAT in the chest SEVERAL TIMES.
END SCENE.

Scene 18
PETRARCH, DS IRONSIDE and DC MANHANDS are in IRONSIDE'S AWESOME CAR. Camera pans behind them; they are being CHASED by THREE POLICE VEHICLES.

PETRARCH: What's happening? Why are the police after us?!
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) The DCI can't accept that sometimes the rules aren't good enough for the law.

GUNSHOTS are FIRED.

DCI KETTERING: (shouting via a megaphone) IRONSIDE! YOU HAVE DEFIED ME AND THE POLICE FORCE ONCE TOO OFTEN! NOW YOU DIE!
DC MANHANDS: Drat! What will this do to my chances of promotion?
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Your promotion isn't what's on the line here, Gregor. Justice is on the line.
PETRARCH: We're heading into a dead end! Look out!
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) You worry too much.

Switch to FIRST PERSON PERSPECTIVE, as DS IRONSIDE'S STUNT DOUBLE manages a HANDBRAKE TURN to narrowly avoid CRASHING INTO THE GRENADES FACTORY, and DRIVES AWAY TO SAFETY. The POLICE VEHICLES crash into the FACTORY and BURST INTO FLAME.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) I hope we don't end up having to pay for that.
DC MANHANDS: It's okay. We're getting paid a lot of overtime to take care of this.

Halfway Through Scene 26
DS IRONSIDE'S ARCHNEMESIS, VICTOR PARALYSIS, walks through the door.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Blast! It's my archnemesis, Victor Paralysis!

VICTOR is wearing a white suit, has TWO BIONIC HANDS that fire LASERS and his eyes are RED.

VICTOR: Good evening, Detective Sergeant. It is most remarkable that you have come to find me at the centre of all these operations. However, it is for naught. You will, no doubt, have noticed the three massive barrels of acid with the people chained over them.
DC MANHANDS: I had been wondering about that.
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Sh!
VICTOR: My loyal assistant, Desdemona Executions, will show you... !

DESDEMONA EXECUTIONS, wearing a WHITE FUR COAT over TIGHT LEATHER CLOTHING, rips off the sack on the first chained guy's head. It belongs to an ANCIENT GERIATRIC MAN.

PETRARCH: Pappy!

DESDEMONA tears off the second sack, revealing JANE, DC MANHANDS' WIFE.

DC MANHANDS: Jane! My wife!

The third sack is torn off to reveal VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE WOMAN FROM SCENE FOUR.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Elaine! The woman who I saved from being murdered three hours ago...
VICTOR: ... is now being murdered because of you! Hahaha! Laugh at the delicious irony.
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) This changes nothing, Dr. Paralysis.
VICTOR: Oh! You still wish to oppose me? Desdemona! Throw the lever that releases his precious 'Elaine!'

DESDEMONA is BRIEFLY TORN BY INDECISION. Then she DECIDES TO SHOW HER TRUE COLOURS.

DESDEMONA: I don't think I could turn against a man so suave and cunning as DS Brunt Ironside.

DESDEMONA promptly pulls out a SUB-MACHINE GUN from her COAT and MERCILESSLY GUNS DOWN DR. PARALYSIS.

DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) You saved the lives of my friends.
DESDEMONA: I want to do so much more for you.
DS IRONSIDE: (gruffly) Here's my address. I clock off at seven.

CREDITS ROLL.

[Alexanderburn]

Mashiki 6-4 Alexanderburn
Collett (12'); Walker (13'); van der Pol (45'); Austerlitz (78')
Team tops group for Cup of Harmony, moves on to Quarterfinals

That was quite surprising - not necessarily the loss, but the action of the game! Never before has this glorious team witnessed ten goals in a single match, and unfortunately we were handed the short end of the stick!

Though it may not have been Alexanderburn's most glorious game, it definitely had little impact on the team. This game featured many goals by stellar players, and the line-up of the game reflected the team's ability to produce goals with 'secondary' players. Despite this label by reporters and fanatics, the coaches are very afraid to issue statements that refer to the obvious inferiority of such players, and rightfully so. It is obvious that Nordaglio, for example, has peaked for the moment, whereas Moulton is still growing in popularity and he is becoming a much more efficient goalie than his counterpart currently is.

"None of our players are secondary, per se," noted coach William Kingsley. "There are, however, team members who contribute more positively to the environment that we wish to create here on the Alexanderburnese national football team. It is imperative that the coaches and staff make the proper decisions regarding the line-ups in order to match certain opponents at certain times. In no way is any player above the game. Each player has fortes and weaknesses that can be properly used based on each and every game that we play."

Tomorrow night the team is playing Turori in a battle for a spot in the quarterfinals. These opponents are ranked higher than Kinitaria, the team that Alexanderburn edged out 2-1 in the group stage; however, this does not necessarily mean that a win here is impossible. The odds are definitely in favor for the competition, and approximately 68% of those polled believe that Turori will dominate in the match, whereas 24% believe that Alexanderburn will win, and 8% foresee a draw. In all honesty, this may be one of the least predictable matches for the ANFT, as a number of recent performances cannot point to whether or not a victory is likely, though it is definitely possible.

"We will absolutely, positively not take elimination as an answer," noted Kingsley later on. "This is not the time for the Alexanderburnese people to shy away from their fate. We are one of the strongest teams in the world right now and I am demanding and expecting that we can adhere to that label now too. Under no circumstances should we be aloud to collapse under pressure, in fact, we should prosper from it. And that is what will happen in the match tomorrow!" Many have cited Kingsley's new aggressiveness as a byproduct of the near-firing incident that occurred in the past qualification round about a month ago, and praise has been heard across the board as he has finally stepped up to his role as the leader of a successful nation and its team.

In other news, Alexanderburn won its first game in the Catholic States Regional Cup I, as it played Verdun and won 4-0 in an outstanding match in Powersith. The team was led by two goals from Sam Collett in the twenty-fifth (25') and eighty-second (82') minutes, while Kidane popped one in during minute sixty-four (64') and new acting captain Holierhoek added one to the list in the eighteenth (18') minute. This definitely reflects the scores that the team is hoping to produce in the upcoming match against Turori; speaking of which, the line-ups can be found below:

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn vs Turori [in Apox])

van der Pol / Kidane
Walker / Frederiksen / Jameson
Holierhoek (c) / Collett
Doyle / Rittenhouse / Beller
Moulton

Modification: +1.0

Good luck Alexanderburn!