World Cup 93 - RP Thread

by **Brusseldorf** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:22 pm

Excerpts from MD19 commentary transcript

Martin Tyler: Hello and welcome to the 19th match day of the World Cup Qualifiers! I’m Martin Tyler, and I’m joined by the effervescent Alan Smith.

Alan Smith: Great to be here, Martin. It’s a beautiful day for football and the atmosphere is electric.

Martin: We’ve got an exciting match between Brusseldorf and Ascvalion to look forward to. Both teams have had a good run in the qualifiers, but let’s see who comes out on top.

Alan: Absolutely, Martin. Ascvalion is a formidable team, but Brusseldorf has been playing with a lot of confidence.

Martin: Let’s take a look at the starting lineups. First, Ascvalion.

Alan: In goal, we have Hakeem Olajunwon. In defense, we have Sean O’Neil, Andrew Takashima, Jonathan Ayawamat, and Jose Martinez. In midfield, we have Robert Smith and Jean-Paul Auclair. Up front, we have Mark Hale, George Asano, and Saul De-Paul.

Martin: And now for Brusseldorf. In goal, we have Antony Providence. In defense, we have Boronia, Gabriel Lellouche, Ricard Sciolan, and Andrea Zidane. In midfield, we have Sarah Pickett, Michael Hernández, and Vindark Al Maghribī. Leading the line, we have Teddy Wolfenden, Santa Dominguez, and Giroud Sidi.

Alan: Both teams are ready to go, and both the home and away fans are baying for the referee to blow the whistle.

Martin: And we’re underway! Ascvalion starts with possession.

Alan: Ascvalion is trying to control the midfield, but Brusseldorf is pressing high.

Martin: And it’s a chance for Brusseldorf! Sidi with a shot...and it’s in! Giroud Sidi scores an early goal for Brusseldorf!

Alan: What a start for the home side. The Ascvalian players look stunned! They’ll have to sort themselves out if they want to stay competitive in this fixture.

Martin: Ascvalion is trying to regroup. They’re passing the ball around the midfield.

Alan: And it’s a mistake by the Ascvalian number 10! Pickett intercepts the ball, and she finds Wolfenden.

Martin: Wolfenden with a great pass to Hernández. He’s driving forward with the ball.

Alan: He sees Dominguez making a run, and he plays it through! Dominguez with a chance...and it’s in! Santa Dominguez scores for Brusseldorf!

Martin: The vision by Hernández was out of this world. Brusseldorf is playing with supreme confidence. They’re not letting up at all!

Alan: Ascvalion needs to be careful, this game could run away from them. Brusseldorf is pressing high up the pitch.

Martin: And it’s another chance for Brusseldorf! Wolfenden with a shot...and it’s in! Teddy Wolfenden scores his first goal of the game!

Alan: This is incredible, Martin. Craig Foster’s side is embarrassing the visiting team.

Martin: Ascvalion seem steadfast and resolute, unfazed by the three-goal deficit. They’re trying to string together some passes.

Alan: And it’s a chance for Ascvalion! Hale with the ball...and it’s in! Mark Hale scores for Ascvalion!

Martin: What a goal by Hale, he’s gone for power over placement there and it paid off. A goal like that might be the catalyst for a comeback.

Alan: Ascvalion is starting to find their rhythm now. They’re putting Brusseldorf under pressure.

Martin: But Brusseldorf is defending well. Lellouche with a crucial interception.

Alan: And here comes Brusseldorf again. Sidi with the ball. He’s looking for options.

Martin: He finds Dominguez, who takes it down the right flank.

Alan: He cuts inside...and it’s a shot! But Olajunwon makes the save.

Martin: Brusseldorf is keeping the pressure on Ascvalion, they look like they want to put this game to bed.

Alan: And it’s a chance for Ascvalion now. De-Paul with the ball, he’s making a run towards the box.

Martin: He takes the shot...and it’s in! Saul De-Paul scores for Ascvalion!

Alan: What a goal by De-Paul! That was a great individual effort.

Martin: And that’s the end of the first half. Brusseldorf is leading 3-2, but Ascvalion is starting to find their rhythm.

Alan: This game is far from over, Martin. We’re in for a great second half.

Martin: And we’re back underway for the second half. Brusseldorf starts with possession.

Alan: Brusseldorf is trying to control the midfield, but the Ascvalian coach has switch the team’s formation, and they’re now pressing higher up the pitch.

Martin: And it’s a chance for Ascvalion! Martinez with the ball, he’s making a run down the left flank.

Alan: He crosses the ball in...and it’s in! George Asano scores for Ascvalion!

Martin: What a great cross by Martinez! Asano was in the right place at the right time.

Alan: And Ascvalion is back in this game! Brusseldorf needs to respond.

Martin: And they’re trying to. Hernández with a shot...and it’s in! Michael Hernández scores for Brusseldorf!

Alan: What a response by Brusseldorf! They’re not letting Ascvalion take control of the game.

Martin: And it’s another chance for Brusseldorf! Sidi with a shot...and it’s in! Giroud Sidi scores his second and it’s a brace for the 1830 Victroz star.

Alan: This is incredible, Martin. Brusseldorf look to be running away with this game again.

Martin: Ascvalion has still not been put down though, and they’ve regained some valuable possession.

Alan: And it’s a chance for Ascvalion! Asano with the ball...and it’s in! George Asano scores his second goal of the game!

Martin: That’s a great goal by Ascvalion.

Alan: Ascvalion is starting to find their rhythm now. They’re putting Brusseldorf under pressure.

Martin: But Brusseldorf is defending well. Zidane with a crucial interception.

Alan: And here comes Brusseldorf again. Wolfenden with the ball. He’s looking for options.

Martin: He finds Sidi, who takes it down the left flank.

Alan: He cuts inside...and it’s a shot! But Olajunwon makes the save.

Martin: And there’s the final whistle, that will be all she wrote. What a thrilling contest we’ve had. Brusseldorf wins it 5-4 in front of their home fans.

Alan: This was a great game, Martin. Both teams played with a lot of heart and determination.

Martin: And that’s all from us today. Thank you for joining us, and we’ll see you next time.

by **Sendhang** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:28 pm

93RD WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
Matchday 20

Sendhang then continued their good form with another win and another clean sheet when they visited British Covelandia on Matchday 20. The 2-0 win over British Covelandia was Sendhang's 5th consecutive win and clean sheets, the Rice Farmers were on sizzling form. And the win put them in 3rd place with 39 points, shockingly overtaking Pemecutan who dropped to 4th on 37 points with 2 more matches to go.

Teuku Salahudin still remained on the bench though, but the mood in the national camp was good. They were in 6th place just 2 matches ago but now they found themselves in one of the playoff spots. They were having the time of their life. The players were highly spirited and pumped up for the final 2 matches of the campaign. But one problem though, waiting for Sendhang in the next match will be Gnejs.

Gnejs has proven that they are a force to be reckoned with throughout the 93rd World Cup qualifying campaign. They were in 2nd spot before the match against Sendhang and were hopeful of qualifying to the World Cup for the first time ever themselves. And one thing that caught the Sendhangites' attention the most was their victory over Pemecutan and Kelssek. Sendhang studied those matches extensively and everyone in the squad agreed that Gnejs was an outstanding team.

Salahudin knew that Teuku Irfan would pick Gusti to start over him again for the match against Gnejs. In the back of his head, he was hoping that the coach would give him a chance to play in such a big match but he knew he was not in a good form and the national team has been doing well with Gusti as the lone striker. Despite the national team encouraging performance, confidence was at an all-time low for the Tapaklaboh-born striker.

by **West Barack and East Obama** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:29 pm

BARACK OBAMA'S NEXT TOP MIDFIELDER

Our Tenth Episode!

Welcome to the TENTH episode of Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder! The talent show for these ten lucky people to display their talents in the middle of the park! We're now down to our final two contestants, one of whom will take the final spot in the Final Finals! For this tenth episode, our next prospective Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder will be... Obamanuel Claudius-Ainsworth!

Obamanuel Claudius-Ainsworth used to be a high-ranking member of the Opal Club, one of New Barack City's most violent gangs. After a stung operation assisted by members of the Gaston Denovitz gang led to Claudius-Ainsworth and others spending years behind bars, Claudius-Ainsworth has spent most of his jail days bulking up. His strength, aggression and toughness would make him a perfect ball-winning midfielder to aid in the Obamen's defensive setup.

Master of Ceremonies: Please welcome our next contestant Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder, Obamanuel Claudius-Ainsworth!

[audience applauds loudly]

Sergei: Welcome to the show Obamanuel! How are you feeling?

Obamanuel: Decent.

Zoey: So... how are you planning on showing that you're Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder?

Obamanuel: I'll kick the ball.

Wolfgang: Er... alright.

[Obamanuel brings out a ball from his bag and places it down in front of a goal]

Zoey: What's the catch? The special trick?

Wolfgang: Oh wait. He's good at penalties! A pen merchant. That's always useful.

Sergei: Nonono. Look at how strong he is. He's going to rip the nets and that's how he'll prove his strength.

[Obamanuel kicks the ball slightly, as it rolls into the back of the net. He quickly ducks behind a curtain]

Sergei: Is that it?

Wolfgang: Nah, trust me, something's comin-

[a large explosion is heard as the ball self-destructs. The crowd goes wild with screaming]

Wolfgang: Ow... what the hell? I think I got hit by part of the stage debris.

Sergei: Not the stage! Not my beautiful stage... and we were doing so well. No destructive incidents in a while. Flippin' hell.

Zoey: Who cares about that? Where did our contestant go???

[the judges look around the empty stage in an attempt to find Obamanuel, then realise a giant hole created at the back of the stage]

Wolfgang: Oh I get it... he escaped.

Zoey: Escaped? What do you mean escaped?

Sergei: Yeah actually this guy hadn't finished his sentence yet... he got out today just to participate in this competition.

Zoey: So we just let a violent criminal escape criminal justice. Well that's just great guys.

Wolfgang: No need to be so judgmental. There's nothing we could had done to prevent that.

Sergei: Yeah anyways... let's move on to voting.

Zoey: Voting? You have to be mental. There's no way we're bringing someone who detonated a bomb on stage back to the competition. And how do you know that he'll ever show up to the finals? He's probably out there right now executing whoever snitched on him.

Wolfgang: I mean... that kick he did was pretty clean. Especially if there was a bomb inside that ball. Must had been pretty heavy. He's got good potential.

Sergei: Yeah! Plus, don't worry about his criminal nature or anything. We've got Barack Denovitz starting as centre-back. We should be okay.

Zoey: Great. Well that's just great. As if having an internationally wanted terrorist in the Final Finals wasn't enough, now you want someone that just tried to kill all of us. And you two tried to vote out someone as innocent as Catherine Obamazine. Sheesh. I'm outta here.

[Zoey drops her mic and storms off]

Master of Ceremonies: Wow... that was some episode. Tune in next Sunday for the FINAL Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder episode before the Final Finals! See y'all there!

by **Graintfjall** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:36 pm

Græntfjall qualifies for World Cup!
But humbled by Dod Rava as doubts remain

As Brynjúlfur Brynjarsson was about to take the stage at the CORNCOB environmental summit to defend his controversial cap-and-trade carbon credit proposal, the roar of engines and horns from the Junction of a Thousand Honks filled the air to deafening volume. Hundreds of cars, many flying blue-and-white flags, screamed past the summit attendees, police cordon, trade representatives, and protestors in the new splinter group Phytoplankton Camp (PC). As a sonic backdrop to a conference aimed at green measures and Rushmori cooperation on reducing emissions, it was not the most auspicious of sounds. An embarrassed Brynjarsson’s speech was delayed by 20 minutes until the traffic could be cleared, by which the meaning of the impromptu explosion of noise had been deciphered: in Terranea, several hours to Græntfjall’s east*, Ceni’s had defeated Yuezhou in their World Cup qualifying match, thereby ensuring Græntfjall’s national team would qualify for their fifth consecutive World Cup finals.

The Snow Wolves already lay in a strong position and were mathematically of making at least the playoffs, but the result rendered moot any remaining possibilities of their missing their missing the finals for the first time since World Cup 88. It did nothing to dampen the enthusiasm for the evening game against Adab: a packed Grand National Arena in Gunzlach cheered on every minute (with mercifully few reports of Islamophobic or xenophobic chanting) and were treated to a thrilling comeback win for the Snow Wolves as injury time goals from Vanessa Marvinsdóttir and Röskvi Tyrfingsson, two players who have increasingly fallen out of first time selection in the past year, pulled back a 2–1 deficit to secure the victory and put a greenberry** on top of their campaign. Or at least, that was the plan. Said berry tasted slightly sour as their celebration tour took them to Dod Rava – where they lost. The world number 5th ranked side was laid low by the world number 261st in one of the largest upsets in modern Snow Wolves history. Rest or rotation could not be blamed as a nearly full strength side had no answer to Raul Caballero’s 40th minute strike.

And it will be a nearly full strength side that plays out the remaining qualifying fixtures. Two of Græntfjall’s toughest opponents in the group lie in wait in what are now essentially glorified friendlies for the Snow Wolves – but have considerable qualification implications for both Yuezhou and Ceni. As such, Thor has named a nearly full strength squad again, including captain Sara Kristoffersdóttir, returning striker Mímir Waltheofsson, and much of the squad that helped the Snow Wolves qualify. Only midfielders Kæja Finnvarðsdóttir, Steinar Clemensson and Rebekka Kajsdóttir and center backs Eyvar Mathiasson and Tom Ernestisson are rested. Ari Hlynursbur, Arendt Árisson and Klængur Ulfarsson are recalled, while there are also callups for young talents Sara Vatnarsdóttir and Varða Vígsteinsdóttir. “It’s a question of load management,” explained assistant manager Saxi Dómaldsson. “Yuezhou and Ceni are excellent teams and will give us a good test before the World Cup. We have lots of options to try. And a few key players, yes, we want to wrap in cotton wool. It’s a balance.” He promised ticketholders for Yuezhou’s visit to the Grander International Arena “a genuine first-team strength Snow Wolves side” would take the field.

It will be in midfield that the battle for the last few places in the 26-player finals squad is most hotly contested. Thor has experimented with numerous lineups throughout qualifying, generally based on a 4–1–3–2 or 4–3–3 formation, but when all are healthy, his first choice back line of Hermione Hui, Eyvar Mathiasson, Asbjørn Vilbjörnsson and Jan Játmundsson does not face much doubt, and despite the winning goals over Adab, Röskvi Tyrfingsson and Rebekka Kajsdóttir will surely give way to Mímir Waltheofsson and Vanessa Marvinsdóttir as first-choice forwards, flanked by Sara K. It is Kæja Finnvarðsdóttir’s midfield partners that have chopped and changed most often. Erin Marshlily has had a strong campaign, emerging as a more creative holding midfielder than the brute-enforcer role played by Valtter Marvinsson, and Danny Oddkellsson has been indefatigable – he led the team as captain during Sara K’s suspension – but has not had a striking impact in terms of touches compared with some of the flashes shown by Steinar Clemensson and Lotte Leonardsdóttir. “Who knows what the Yuezhou game holds,” says football journalist Olle Tobiasson. “One thing I can predict though is there will be nothing friendly about it.”

Also in the paper:

NEWS: “Clearly a very passionate young woman:” Prime Minsiter gives muted response to young Gnejsian firebrand taking CORNCOB by storm
BUSINESS: Investors worry over loss of market access in the event of Yue CRC accession
POLITICS: Gun bill set to pass as all eyes turn to Queen
FOREIGN AFFAIRS: Government “monitoring situation in Guanacasteca”
SPORT: Scriptwriters working overtime to come up with new bullshit reason why we can’t submit GPL results

* This bit of timezone wank is purely intrinsic to my RP and I don’t expect anyone else to acknowledge it as canon.
** Græntfjallers don’t like cherries.

by **Valanora** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:37 pm

Time has come for us today
We fight and bite and pray
Forward into to the dawn
Looking for that light to show the way
Over the hills and beyond the shore
Fight hard, fight long, fight ever more
Until the last sabre falls
We shall not heed the retreat call
No warm beds for us to return to
If the victory cannot be made
Let Elune bless the path
And we make ready for war and wrath

by **Brenecia** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:39 pm

Pluvia SI 1 - 2 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 1 - Meade; 17 - Hadley, 22 - Wheater (5 - Shrine 87'), 6 - Jeong, 3 - Culpepper; 8 - Conway (14 - Cheschon 65'), 4 - Briggs, 11 - Covolan (23 - Sitko 87'); 15 - Wake, 13 - Stokes (21 - Lofthouse 65'), 10 - Byrne (16 - Alderwood 72')
Goals: Stokes 19', Covolan 56'

Brenecia 2 - 0 Novaros
(4-3-3) 1 - Meade; 17 - Hadley, 22 - Wheater, 6 - Jeong, 3 - Culpepper (25 - Chalk 60'); 8 - Conway (14 - Cheschon 60'), 4 - Briggs (19 - Seager 76'), 11 - Covolan; 15 - Wake (7 - Wakering 76'), 13 - Stokes, 10 - Byrne
Goals: Byrne 29', Covolan 58'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Patriots face reckoning - if Camden can't fix it, who can?
Uther Cartwright

Erin Camden remains, technically, undefeated at the helm. The trouble is that her short tenure includes a run of four draws in five matches, and the Patriots enter the final stage of qualifying with it remaining a distinct possibility they'll miss out on the playoffs.

What makes this worrying, apart from the obvious, is that Erin Camden is very clearly the best possible manager Brenecia could have had. She has a strong record of success in the A-League and the Zenith. She's a former Brenecia international herself. It is blindingly obvious that a manager of her pedigree would only take on the Brenecia job due to patriotic zeal... and she has turned it down flat in the past.

She's acted quickly upon taking charge, and told everyone just what she's doing. Old cliches have been trotted out: while she 'greatly respects' Derdriu Wright, she's had to 'refocus on fitness', 'establish discipline' and, curiously, 'instill traditional values'. One presumes it is only a matter of time before Ruadri Wheater and Cessiar Meade start opining about how the immigrants are diluting Brenecian culture.

And of course, it is all a 'process', and it has to be. Because if it was not a process, if this really is it, Brenecia are fucked. There is not a better manager than Erin Camden waiting in the wings. The job itself is quickly becoming toxic. And, frankly, the players are not at the level they once were. If the Patriots cannot qualify, no neutrals will miss them.

So where is the rot?

Obviously, eyes turn to the A-League. It is undeniable that of late, there is something of a talent bottleneck. Local managers prefer established 30-year old talents to trusting youth, and with only 30 games in the season, there isn't much time to blood them from the bench. The issue is outright comical when it comes to Brenecia's goalkeeping stocks; it feels significant that both Meade and Corder had to leave their clubs to make their breakthroughs abroad.

But the A-League has often been this way, and the eye test shows that the league isn't far from its peak. But that might be the trouble. The standard of football has improved, perhaps not as much at the higher ends of the game, but certainly in the second echelon. Brenecia's once-firm place in the world's top 30 nations might have grown precarious solely through competition.

The natural course of action is surely to look outward, seeing how other nations develop their players. But increasingly, this has taken the form of young Brenecian players going abroad to test themselves - Baker, Stokes, Rourke and Wheater barely or didn't play in the A-League, while Jeong, Covolan and Kearney were born, raised and, critically, professionally developed in Nephara.

Perhaps Nephara can be looked to as an example, as anathema as that prospect is to some. But ties between the nations were close, once, as the diaspora shows. There has to be a way that one results-driven, physical culture has continued to thrive, while another falls by the wayside. Explanations have ranged from 'larger population', 'centralised structures', 'heavily subsidised coaching licences' and, more questionably, 'more prolific football writing'.

But there must be answers somewhere, and they should be looked for. Of course, as Camden has stressed several times, if Brenecia win three games in a row and draw the last, they'll reach and win the playoff, make the World Cup, and then everyone can relax. And certainly, even in this form, Brenecia look very capable of overhauling a reeling Pratapgadh. But maybe we shouldn't relax. Maybe it is time to worry after all.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 10ish
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cessair Meade (Rammsissil, VIL), 12 - Phoebe Corder (Ituraitz FC, ASG), 20 - Sorcha Tanner (Southern Star)
Defenders: 2 - Aine Cooper (Rozelle), 3 - Nimue Culpepper (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 5 - Athelney Shrine (Falourr, EUR), 6 - Hamish Jeong Harcourt (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 17 - Caoimhin Hadley (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 18 - Iucharba Killen (North Laithland, NPH), 22 - Ruadri Wheater (Carsby, BRE), 25 - Shara Chalk (Southern Star)
Midfielders: 4 - Skaidrina Briggs (AC Izotz Zubia, AUD), 8 - Iseult Conway (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 11 - Lienke Covolan (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 14 - Bede Cheschon (Kingsbury United, TMB), 19 - Tamara Seager (FK Arsika, MYT), 23 - Rajmund Sitko (West Cuono United, TMB), 24 - Alyce Kearney (Southfell United, NPH), 26 - Alaoise Rourke (Litala '93, MYT)
Forwards: 7 - Aneurin Wakering (CS Saint-Remy, KSK), 9 - Siobhan Baker (Anomalies, CMT), 10 - Katua Byrne (KT Itzalovalle, AUD), 13 - Mor-Rioghain Stokes (Mountainside, EUR), 15 - Maerhen Wake (1830 Cathair, AUD), 16 - Idina Alderwood (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), 21 - Jadwiga Lofthouse (Yassaca, SRS)

Super Top 4 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 0 Acastanha
Delte 2 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 0 Ile de Richelieu
Vilita 2 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 Sajnur
Bears Armed 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 4 Pluvia SI
Novaros 4 - 3 Brenecia
Pratapgadh 1 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 1 Hopal
Brenecia 3 - 0 Super Top
Acastanha 4 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 1 Delte
Ile de Richelieu 0 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 2 Vilita
Sajnur 1 - 1 Brenecia
[b]Brenecia 4 - 3 Bears Armed
Pluvia SI 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 Novaros
Brenecia vs. Pratapgadh
Hopal vs. Brenecia

by **Pasarga** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 9:10 pm

"By this time tomorrow, we will finally have an answer to this growing concern Azra. It is out of your hands now, you did as was asked of you as the Queen, you heeded the advice of your councilors who in turn took on the advice from members of Parliament, who are supposed to be the voices of the people in the government. If this be their will, then you have merely done your duty as the monarch to see it set into motion." Aslan had come to visit his cousin on the evening of the Common Rushmori Community referendum vote. He was looking calm and collected, but Azra was looking quite stressed and anxious at the vote tallying was set to begin in a few hours and would with no issues be done sometime late in the evening or early in the morning the following day.

"I know, I know, but the stress of waiting around for the results is slowly killing me. I honestly do not care which way the vote lands but I am so tired of the whole situation that I just want it over already." She sighed and looked towards the television that was live casting at the various polling places with some stats being thrown up here and there based on the exit polls.

"If it is giving you such stress, you probably should turn that off and just let things fall where they may. Though if you don't care about the result, then why do look like you are so vested in the entire ordeal, shouldn't you be off reading a book or swimming or whatever it is that you do in your free time?"

She gave her cousin a rough stare for a second before sitting back in her seat and wrinkling her nose a tad before she spoke. "It is because dad would want the nation to stay in the CRC. Dad wanted a lot of things though and not all of them turned out all the best, as recent events have demonstrated quite heavily. Yet he had worked hard to make sure that Pasarga would get accepted into the CRC despite the hard stance that they have against monarchies. He believed in free trade between the member states of the region, freedom of movement, and helping one another when the chips were down. Withdrawing from the organization feels like I am saying that he was wrong and if he was wrong about the CRC, was he wrong about the modernization, about the shift towards some form of representative say in the government, and so many other things that he had a hand in changing when he was the king. Was he wrong in having named me the heir?"

"Situations change, people change, just because something might be the wrong situation now does not mean that it was wrong when it was first brought about. Your dad was an amazing man and a magnificent king, despite not even being born in Pasarga. He helped this nation in ways that few have since Takilian the First. If the vote goes the way of withdrawal, it will not be a sign that all that he touched and changed was for the worse, merely that Pasarga and her needs might have changed since that time. Still, according to the polls, it is far too close to call. Exit polls are showing strong showings for remain in Paulinthal, Torgos, Lunas, Evenfar, and Stilinkeep. Those are some of the largest cities in the dual islands. It is too early to fret dear cousin."

by **Darmen** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 9:27 pm

OOC: With thanks to the Rochester Honkers summer collegiate baseball team's graphic designer for the... graphic design.

Second Division Football Club Takes Bold Stand Against Climate Action

HUNTINGTON - As delegates from Rushmore and other nations around the multiverse attempt to hash out some sort of agreement on climate action, supporters of the Huntington Yorkers FC are making their voices heard in a unique way as they express opposition to any potential agreement that might come out of the CORNCOB convention. Following a fan vote, the Series B club has agreed to change their name beginning next season (2058-59) to Huntington Honkers FC, in honor of the "brave Branta branta bickering with the bastards in Altendalur" as one Huntington supporter put it.

Huntington, where support for the National Labor Party (Darmen's second least green political party after the Fascists) has grown substantially over the past decade, is a deeply industrial town. Home to general manufacturing and other industries, such as the municipality's DNS steelworks, Huntington is also the headquarters of Northern Collieries, one of Darmen's largest coal companies. While unemployment in Huntington is extremely low (1.75%), that is largely thanks to the dogged determination of the local miners unions in opposing any government efforts to stop the mining or enforce downsizing. While those efforts have been successful so far, fears are mounting that the Darmeni coal industry is on the government chopping block and miners are worried at what the job losses could do to the local economy.

Whereas Darmeni football has largely been apolitical outside of Rogerton, the Honkers are bucking that trend and making an overt political statement each time their club's name appears in the scores section of any newspaper or sports website. "We're sick and tired of these bigwigs in Scott City and elsewhere thinking they're concerned for the future of humanity when in reality they just want to eliminate our jobs to line the pockets of their supporters," stated one Huntington supporter after the club announced its name change. The same supporter would go on to add, "And no, I'm not about to trade a day down deep in a dark shaft hammering away for coal for lithium mining. I'd have to be bat shit crazy to think that'd be a good idea."

by **Patriotlandia** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 9:56 pm

Page 120

We have walked for what seems like a hundred leagues through this thick forest. The promise of meeting up with our fellow explorers carried us through the trek. Along the way we saw a lot more wildlife than in previous excursions. Deer, foxes and even bears were all spotted as we navigated through the maze-like forest. Soon enough though we arrived at a clearing that surpassed all expectations we had. Not only was there a giant lake, the crew of the Bételgueuse had built a little village from all the bountiful ressources. The people had changed too. They had ditched traditional garments in favour of hides and skin. When we talked to Robert Foubriaque, their captain, he explained that they had explored most of the south of the island and had mapped most of it, if only broadly. Foubriaque was an expert explorer and was at ease on land as much as he was at sea. He went on explaining that the long expeditions and frigid temperatures were too much for our little jackets. As we shared stories over dinner, he told us about the place he visited on the island. Mountains so high you could touch the sky, waterfalls strong enough to cleave the earth and land with earth as red as the pits of hell were all highlights of his travels. Like us he encountered the strange dwellings in the forest but he could find anyone or any clue as to who had once lived there. Finally, we made plans for a voyage back. If we wanted to settle this incredible land we would need more than a few ships and their crew. Robert told me that the Bételgueuse was totally lost in the storm and was unusable leaving the only ship able to make an attempt at sailing back would be the Flambeau. Robert planned to thoroughly map the land and find areas most suited for all types of development while I would try to bring in the settlers. It would not be an easy task as the ship was not in the best of conditions and even then the political pull needed to convince the people to join us at the end of the known world would not be easy.

Just before I set out to sea, I looked out toward the horizon. I did so for every trip I’ve ever taken part in. It made me realise that the sea looks about the same in every port even if the adventure is wildly different. It is the one comfort of the sea. No matter where you are or the language the locals speak, everyone navigates the same sea and fights the same waves.

Sail on,
Jean Marie Patriot

Image generated by AI (Craiyon)

Results
----------------------------
Patriotlandia 3–2 Oberour Ar Moro
Petro-Pat Navy Memorial Stadium (61,999), Port-la-Ville, Province of Abelanne
We were treated to an offensive festival for the second to last game in Port-la-Ville's stadium. The sellout crowd brought atmosphere and energy to the ground as both teams walked on to the pitch. Oberour's frontline pressure cause a lot of trouble early as Patriotlandian defenders were swarmed the instant they received a pass. Oberour ar Moro would capitalize off of a William Ranger turnover to score the first goal. The crowd was momentarily silenced but the Bleus offense would soon bring them back to life. Lucien Graham would score a real poacher's goal as tapped in a rebound left by Guillo au Feure. Evan Lachapelle would give the home team the lead just before halftime and Alexia Brant would double it in the second half. Oberour Ar Moro would bring the lead back down to one but the Patriotlandian defense held to secure the three points.

Al-Tamazgha 1–1 Patriotlandia
The national team travelled to Maisonbleue in Al-Tamazgha to face the Mountain Lions in Stade-Alphonse-Diawara. The last time the two teams met was a close game well fought by both sides. This time wasn't any different. The Tamazghan defensive style managed to hold of the Patriotlandian top 3 in difficult scoring areas. The two teams were able to generate chances but finishing was a premium and both keepers seemed up to the challenge. Nouria Diouri scored first for the home team and now, with the crowd behind them, they hard to extend it. The Patriotlandian would hold them off, however, allowing for counter attack that saw David Rodin put the ball past the byline to tie the match. The rest of the match saw both teams playing cautiously while still trying to probe for a weakness. A few shots rattled the woodwork, others went miles over the net, but in the end neither team would score a deciding goal.

Upcoming Games
----------------------------
Patriotlandia vs Abanhfleft (96)
Petro-Pat Navy Memorial Stadium (62,000), Port-la-Ville, Province of Abelanne

Patriotlandia @ Valladares (152)

by **Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 9:59 pm

RekanSport
Rawić Retires For ZRH
By Markus Pesch

Bodgan Rawić announced the end of his NT career in a series of posts to Twii.tur yesterday. After scoring over one hundred and fifteen goals in a decade plus Rawić bids ZRH service goodbye.

Rawić debuted competitively in the seventy second Baptism of Fire against Kuriko. The more famous geopolitical entity Kuriko lost by one goal. Rawić did not score, but had two close range. Two goals came to the teenage Rawić against South Charlia. Rawić would then go on a dry spell until scoring a double against tournament powerhouse Tequilo. While ZRH lost their Baptism to Mavinet, and Rawić missed a critical chance, the tournament was one which brought joy to Zeta Rekan society. Rekans and Hügeltalians were amazed by Rawić’s speed and instincts. The teenager would bag in some nine goals between the BOF and his Cup of Harmony debut during the WC85 marathon. One hat trick came versus Starblaydia and the goals put Baby Bogdan on every radar in the country.

Bogdan’s notoriety would grow, and so would the sole striker’s goal count. Rawić would play in his early years as a poacher under Marko Dusan. Good performances at home and abroad lead to Lokomotive Jarnstard buying out Bogdan’s contract. “I’ve always had mixed emotions on the move,” Rawić’s said when he returned to Aleiusia Capital last season “This club was growing here in Aleiusia, and I was doing well. Even so I’d have loved to help.” Rawić’s time with Jarnstard was productive, but returning to regular play at the National Sports Complex for domestic play has been dramatic yet successful.

Meanwhile Bogdan and Zeta Reka were continuing to try for qualification to the world cup, but while they came up short Bogdan bonded well with his team. “I been able to get close to many people,” Rawić wrote, “Some closer than others.” One person who Rawić has spent plenty of time with has been Baker Park homesteading Rekan woman Konstantina Popowić. The pair were first seen in the female dominated Cassadaigua. Since Rawić and Popowić have rode a roller coaster of gossip has moved around the Rekan football’s world. Kven FK coach Želmir Kolarowić, then a player, also became a close friend of Rawić in the early years. The bonds were all in Bogdan’s words, “Worth every challenge, and worth every tackle.”

Bogdan also wore another hat while playing for Zeta Reka. Bogdan’s difficult childhood encouraged him to practice altruism. The Rawić Foundation was formed, with major efforts in building infrastructure for small communities such as his birthplace Zelena. In addition to the Rebuilding The Villages campaign, Bogdan’s charity also worked with the poor in Capital Cove, and the organization looks to expand at all times. Rawić for his part has always used any opportunity to promote his charity around the world. Contributions from all across football’s map have come their way. What does Bogdan think of his work, he answered this in his retirement posts, “Personally, being able to build The Rawić Foundation has been the greatest honor of my life.”

Rawić had sporting success, personal ties, and had done much for others. Something was missing however. One goal in Rawić’s bucket list was yet to be accomplished. The World Cup itself had been elusive to Bogdan. Six attempts faltered and Rawić considered retirement before WC91 for personal reasons related to a brother’s passing. Ultimately Rawić allowed himself to be selected by Lu Jialan. Rawić would score the opening goal for Zeta Reka, and their first game was a win. Despite a good start, ZRH would struggle and were in fifth by the halfway point. Team Captain Bogdan Rawić would help the side win eight of their next ten to sit eight points clear of Audioslavia in the groups. Despite finishing well, the prior shaky results meant Zeta Reka had to fight in the playoffs. Chromatika would be the opposition to Zeta Reka. The series went to penalties, and finally ZRH won out. The team would only nab a point on the big stage, but even so Bogdan was there. When asked what his favorite game was, Bogdan sid his top three were “Scoring against Starybladia, tying Jeruselem, and beating those Chrome Dome’s up.”

Rawić will be ending his competitive international career against Southern Palm Islands in a qualifier which lacks anything to play for.

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by **Huayramarca** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:02 pm

A Day in the Life of: Santiago Chumacero

By Carlos Humala

Santiago Chumacero, born in the middle of the Huayramarcan Sierra (Huayrasuyo), is one of the most important players of the National Team as of late, he has been characterised for being the stalwart of a defence that tends to be quite reliable when in needed. Chumi as he is well-known by fans and friends alike, has had some interesting background in his life that has made him forge a great attitude, one that makes him strive for better results in the National Team, by not being comfortable about what he earns, as he always wants to push more.

In this edition of A Day in the Life of, we have Santiago with us to tell us about his day to day in a pre-match situation, how he usually performs in the match and how he motivates his teammates to perform always better than before.

Before talking to him, we spot him lunching before the team prepares for the match against Farfadillis, in what promises to be a decider in the fight for first place of the Qualifier Group 4 between Condors and La Vherderroja. Chumi comes to us, looking relaxed and greets before sitting and commence the talk, which proved to be quite interesting and different compared to previous ones. “Hello!” Says Chumacero while punching fists as a greeting, then sits and says “How are you? I’m fine” says, then I reply “Waiting for tonight, let’s see what the Condors do!” Chumacero said “Rest easy, we will try our best.” Then I ask him “Tell us a bit about your life” He starts by saying “I have a quite normal childhood, nothing particular nor impressive on it. Got raised by a couple of factory workers, a couple that I’m pleased for the support they provide me. Starting with food, house, etc. when a child, and now the motivation before my matches… Thank you dad and mom!” he said proudly.

Not as surprising or inspiring as other stories from other players, but he still has some common elements between the rest of the team and himself “I grew up studying hard, preparing for testing and also under the pressure of my parents to get better scores, get a scholarship and have a university degree. I have been always told about the importance of hard work and dedication to achieve success, through discipline and readiness to face anything and defeat those obstacles, no matter what.” I asked him “Did you ever got punished for a bad score?” He said “I didn’t. I always tried to do my job, which was performing as best as I could do. I actually quite enjoyed the privileges and reputation that I obtained by getting high scores at school, being in the honour roll was always a motivation for me.”

Then, I continued by asking him “What about friends at school?” He said “I got some nice relationships that still endure to this day, those loyal friends that always support you and you are always there to be reciprocal. I like to be reciprocal, as I don’t know when I could be the side needing a favour.” After reflecting a bit, Chumi continues “Some of them tried to get me involved into football, but I did take some time to get enrolled.” I asked him “Why?” he said “I wanted to keep up the good work with the scores at the subject. I feared failing due to dedicating some extra time to football, but there was a bigger purpose in my life that made me not get into the sport at that moment (8^th grade), perhaps I couldn’t have had fit in the team, an injury, I don’t know.”

There’s a famous idiom in the Huayramarcan Christian Community that says “God’s timing is perfect.” Chumacero took that into consideration and practice, as he waited for the right time to get into football, participate actively and make himself a spot in the school team. “I continued with the good performance, but I later got invited by a friend. This time, I told my parents about it and they rejected… That meant that I got enrolled into football without the awareness of my parents.” Oof, nothing that could be that suggestable to do, but that shows that if one wants something, some risks should be taken to let that happen and enjoy. He continued “When I started, my dream switched from being a doctor to be a footballer representing Huayramarca at the World Cup. I can say that I’ve achieved my dream a couple of times, but that’s not enough, I want more.”

Chumacero is that kind of humble and tranquil person, but as you keep talking with him, a feeling of grit and determination is unearthed from his inside. This perception made me ask him the following question “What drives Santiago Chumacero to strive to be the best?” He said “Remember how my parents pushed me with scores at school? That same feeling was reflected in football, I want to do my best, I want to reach new heights. The sensation of succeeding at those plans of improvement, the goals by themselves, the recognition of the people after the efforts made to achieve it is what makes me go forward.” Then I asked him “Do you think you’ve got anything more to do in your career?” He said “I want to win more. I want to win a tournament with my domestic team, I want to win a tournament with the National Team, who knows if I can get to win a World Cup with the Condors and this generation of players? I want to dream; I want to fight and achieve it!”

Chumacero seems to be the guy that loves attention, but not the kind of annoying people that does anything to grab something from your attention span… Actually, he tries to deserve that recognition by having excellent performance in the pitch and outside of it. Now, getting into some interesting topics of daily life, I asked him about what he does as a routine in a pre-match day. Chumi said “As soon as I woke up, I get in touch with God by praying, taking a shower, watching TV and analysing my rivals of the day. I try to get my own game plan and adapt it to what the manager can ask us to do during the match, we’ve got to be flexible and adapt to a variety of situations, even those that the manager could’ve skipped of his analysis. We have to step-up and complement any lack of idea with our actions in the field.”

Chumacero did provided a great answer, something that shows his level of commitment with the National Team and his teammates, as he always wants to be ready to help them in case of need in the pitch, yet enable some teammates to help him in case he needs. “Do you usually feel nervous before a match”? I asked him, then he said “I do, and anybody responding negatively would be lying. We are nervous and we try to get used to the conditions of the match, stadium and environment as soon as possible, but if we fail at one of those, we can stumble and fail in our objectives. Right now, I’m nervous because we all know the importance of this match for us, we either almost clinch the top, we keep the same distance or we go in second place after a defeat. All those odds are there, but aren’t here to provide excuses, we must work and make sure that we will succeed in the game.”

Then, I asked him “Playing abroad, in this kind of situations, is comfortable?” Chumacero said “Depending on how we are placed prior to this matches, if we’ve got a lead, any damage could be collateral, but we must take care to avoid let anybody get depressed or uncomfortable due to the outcome of the match. Today, we’ve got advantage, a small one, but enough to make it bigger or gamble with it until the end of the Qualifiers.” Then I asked him about more of his routine, he said “I walk around the block, try to get my mind relaxed by watching the nature there while wandering. I try to eat fast, then talk with my teammates and managerial staff about the tactical plan for the day, by integrating my game plan to the group one, ensuring to make a great combination for the benefit of Huayramarca.”

As we continue, we asked him about any kind of activity while riding the bus to the stadium, to what Chumacero said “I try to play videogames on my smartphone. I usually play some boxing or football games to relax, to chill and get ready for the match. I can also listen to music, specially to some Electronic Dance Music songs like the nights from Michel Pietrus and Hudson Gooston. That song is actually a mood for me as I try to give my best from the motivation it makes me feel.” Getting motivated by a song is quite common, but listening electronica and getting motivated is a new sight for me to be fair, although seems that the song is quite good, and that makes me understand why he loves it that much.

As the team got into the pitch, it was notorious that the atmosphere in La Fantás was massive, the Farves were pushing for their team really hard and they made themselves getting felt by the Huayramarcan National Team, as it was a match that we all want to forget and get over it as soon as possible… We didn’t expect to be steamrolled as we got, but it is time to move on. We talked to Chumacero after the match, surprisingly, he was quite open and sincere with us, so we had a small yet interesting conversation with him. “Are we ready for the next match”? I asked him, Chumacero said “We must. We can fall down, but we must stand up and get back into the race.” Then I asked him “What we need to improve?” He said “Concentration. We shouldn’t allow situations like this to happen. We lost control of the match, we lost control of ourselves… It’s unacceptable but we must move on, we won’t get nothing if we keep complaining or crying after this… We must improve our level and be there, awaiting, for our rival to stumble and take the direct qualification spot.”

Chumacero then continued “What are your expectations after the match?” He said “To recover, swiftly and efficiently, we need to get gather the causes of this horrible result, learn from those mistakes, acting to prevent them to happen again and get back into contention.” Things for the last WC Qualifier window (MD 21 and 22) doesn’t seem like Huayramarca could depend by herself at all, as Sargossa receives Farfadillis at their home, then Lisander visits Farfadillis; meanwhile, Huayramarca meets Carpathia and Ruthenia at home to travel to Starblaydia in an Anaian duel, we talked with Chumacero about the perspectives of getting the first place of the group “It isn’t over… It ain’t over till it’s over! Says a song, and we must keep fighting till the end. As I said, we need to wait and see if the rival stumbles down, so we can take advantage of it and get back to the first place.”

And, to finish the conversation, we asked him about future plans. Chumacero commented us “I want to win more with my current team, I want to help this National Team to achieve success and make those 36 million Huayramarcans backing us proud of our success. They deserve it!” With that being said, Chumacero and the Condors start the preparations for the last window of the World Cup Qualifiers, one that could see the Condors in first place if Farfadillis drops points and Huayramarca gets victories; or, in a worst-case scenario, see how the Condors get into the play-offs, which are to be determined. In case Huayramarca goes to play-offs, the Condors will have to face a third placed team, as they’ve already clinched the second position of the group. All the motivation and good vibes of 36 million Huayramarcans are with the team, and with the Sargossans and Lisanderians hoping for them to get a win against Farfadillis.

by **Turori** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:04 pm

Turori Sport Report

World Cup 93 Qualifying Matchday 19 :: The Turori National Team entered Matchday 19 of World Cup 93 Qualifying in full control of their own destiny on the path to the World Cup 93 Finals in Tumbra and Chromatika. The Eels were second in the Group 13 table but just two points behind Tikariot, a nation they still had one more game against at the end of the campaign. With those 3 points potentially still available as a swing in the standings, if the Eels could win their remaining four matches they would be headed to the World Cup Finals regardless of what would happen in the other games.

On paper and at the bettors tables there was just one favorite for this matchup. Barely even the lark of a wager had been placed on Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison and the bettors skepticism would proove warranted as the Eels came away with a 3-1 victory at the Kionao Minor Field, home of Kionao Turori Locals AFC. Although the margin of victory was ultimately comfortable for the Eels, there were some nervous moments as the Coalison equalized early in the second half and put doubt on the Turori National Team's victory.

There was opportunity in the air for the Turorians as Group 13 rivals Tikariot were losing in the Commonwealth of Baker Park. If the results held and Turori could re-claim the lead, they would move back to the top of the table with just three games to play.

Finally, in the 78th minute the Eels would get a goal from Mouomouni Verre'elali. When the ball hit the back of the net, the initial excitement was quickly replaced by an exhale of relief as the pressure was backing off and the Eels could revert into a protective mode, needing only to hold on to the scoreline they already had in order to collect all three points from the table.

Tarek Edgeli's side wouldn't just sit back and wait for the match to reach its conclusion, however, and with a slew of fresh legs in the second half, the Eels would work out a third goal before the game came to a close with Lutara Makakio redirecting a cross from Tulaki Rauogba to double the Eels advantage and put the three points squarely out of reach for their opponents.

The result would allow Turori to move back atop the Group 13 table while ensuring the Eels had moved within just a single victory away from a guaranteed spot in the World Cup 93 playoffs while three wins to close out the campaign would mean a guaranteed ticket to the World Cup Finals for the Turori National Team.

 Turori 3 - 1 Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison	
	Turori Goals:	:: 29' Turakia Diijelhma:: 78' Moumouni Verre'elali:: 83' Lutara Makakio            
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 60%:: Shots: 6:: Corners: 5 :: Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison :: Possession: 40%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 7
	Turori Lineup :: 	Terasin Moravuao, Biliki Rona'atu'i, Karek Edgeli (Lumlao Noauryua 45'), Moumouni Verre'elali, Amakli Inuro'o (Lutara Makakio 45'), Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, Lati'ala Giaoka, Kinabo Telioa, Naraiza Ruaplal (Planio’o Nrujsa 70'), Turakia Diijelhma (H’munao Cagomia 70'), Loala Inkabu (Tulaki Rauogba 56')

World Cup 93 Qualifying Group 13 :: The Turori National team were just fifteen minutes away from saftey. Fifteen minutes away from entering the final two matchdays knowing they only needed to win one of them to advance to the World Cup Finals. Fifteen minutes away from knowing that even if they lost both of their remaining games, they would have a playoff match to fall back on. Yet thats why games are played on the field and not on paper. Despite being ranked 113th in the World Cup Committee Rankings and having nothing but pride to play for having already been eliminated from World Cup Qualification contention, Montaña Verde were fueled by the energy of 40,000+ local fans at Estadio Metropolitano Máximo Encarnación. Trailing 2-1 at half time, the Condors fought back in a flurry midway through the second half with goals from Absalom Covarrubias and Camilo Galán Muñoz, turning the game on its head. With the Eels defeated in Montaña Verde they fell back down to second in the Group 13 table. With remaining matches against Krytenia and Tikariot - both teams the Eels are in the midst of fighting for a spot in the World Cup 93 Finals, Tarek Edgeli's side still maintain control of their own destiny.

On paper, the Eels are favored in both matches against 33rd Rank Nation Tikariot and 57th ranked Krytenia. In fact, the Turori National Team entered the World Cup 93 Cycle with twice as many eanred WCC Ranking points when compared with Tikariot and over Triple the amount of their former neighbors and long-time rivals Krytenia. None of that mattererd, however, when the teams met during the first half of World Cup 93 Qualifying. the Turori National Team lost to both Krytenia and Tikariot setting off the miserable run of form that would see the Eels lose 4 games - equalling the most defeats in a single campaign for the Turori National Team since World Cup 80 Qualifying when the majority of matches were contested by Turori's National Cocoabo Squad.

As the previous matches against Krytenia, Tikariot and Montaña Verde have shown, it will not be enough for the Turori National Team to enter as favorites on the day as paper does not win footsport matches, heart, hustle and luck do instead. The Eels will need luck to be on their side to take down Krytenia and Tikariot in succession to ensure they are en route to the World Cup Finals and not headed out of the competition altogether, potentially being one of the highest ranked nations to ever miss the World Cup Finals while active. Of course there is another X-Factor at play in Group 13 and that is the fourth wheel added on to the trio, the Commonwealth of Baker Park. While the other World Cup contenders will have to battle each other, the Bees will have a chance to take advantage of the final matchday fall out, Tarek Edgeli will just have to fight to ensure it is not the Eels getting stung on the way down the table.

 Turori 2 - 3 Montaña Verde	
	Turori Goals:	:: 26' Loala Inkabu:: 45' Nua'oma Aikiki             
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 48%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 3 :: Montaña Verde :: Possession: 52%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 6
	Turori Lineup :: 	Timaala Hualtia, Karek Edgeli (Turakia Diijelhma 45'), Amakli Inuro'o, Moumouni Verre'elali (Lumlao Noauryua 66'), Planio’o Nrujsa (Restiaa Mumamba 62'), Naraiza Ruaplal, Kiidallen Aeroluzzi (Meldi'ita Mungwaii 66'), Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, Kinabo Telioa (Tulaki Rauogba 62'), Nua'oma Aikiki, Loala Inkabu

World Cup 81/82/83/84

The Overachievers Awards are Back!!

Once again, a bit late but not without enthusiasm, it's time for the crack staff to reveal the honorees for the Overachievers Awards, recognizing nations that have gone above and beyond during the qualifying.
The rules are still the same—we look for those sides that as of this writing will or have a better than 50% chance to finish at least three (3) spots in their group's table above their original seed pot at the draw. We also shout out nations who could've been on this list but suffered cruel punishment from Margaret as the rounds have come fast and furious at the end. This is of course a production of Baker Park, all errors and/or omissions are fully our responsibility.

Let's Get at It!!

Twelfth seeds—Some editions we struggle to find candidates for the lowest pot, but this time we have no shortage of worthy candidates. Pratapgadh (Group 11) can find themselves with a berth in the Finals, while the return of the sentients from Sylestone (8) have seen them battling for a place at the big kids table. Stevencousin (5), Harry Islands (2), Varavel (6), Oscioru (13), Carpathia & Ruthenia (1) and Brusseldorf (12) mean that over half the pot have done themselves proud. Congratulations!!!

Eleventh seeds—Never let it be said that we don't love our BOF class every cycle, as they provide us with ~~cannon fodder and easy points~~ fresh faces and often times superb RP. Gran Saguaro (6) and Al-Tamazgha (10) are pretty well safe with a couple of others on the cusp, and a special mention to Cormoe, who held the World Cup Champions to only a single point in Group 15.

Tenth seeds—Lozho (1) looks good here and Obrela (7), Tanirinthia (3) and Osarius (6) deserve honorable mentions.

Ninth seeds—Naixi (2), Aeragny (7), Patriotlandia (10), Srubnaya Culture (1) and Kirungabi (5) making the number 9 group a tough bunch, with special mention to Katterimunk (14) still with a chance.

Eighth seeds—Sudilla (1) looked like a lock here until the last few cutoffs, so we commiserate with them.

Seventh seeds—As this cycle has no direct Sonnelian connection ~~ignoring Group 1 completely~~ this pot was redacted for reasons of sponsorship pressure.

Sixth seeds—Xanneria and New Gelderland have done their cohort proud and still have eyes on the bigger prize, well done to both.

Fifth and fourth seeds did what almost always do--hold form or fall to pieces. Please don't lament these two groupings, as they almost never get mentioned here.

Third seeds—Number threes don't usually get love here either, because they can't finish three spots higher, but those that can win their group outright deserve something, so Juvencus and Tikariot, potentially this Bud's For You!

Much respect and congratulations to all!

Final Squad List MD 21-22

Lineup vs Raspotochje @ CONAGCO Stadium, Shirley (36,000)
Johnston (C), Brooks, Edmonds, Freeman; Park, Ryan, S Logan, Bryant; Price; Harris, Gibson

Lineup vs Oscioru
McCormack; Bruce, Onikambe, Bauer; Eichorn, D'Amico (C), Vetter, Altman; Vuckovic; Mack, Moorman

by **Qasden** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:42 pm

Last Gasp Magic
Campaign Closes Spectacularly in Final Fight for Third
+QasCup Review!
By Tex Preston
When the qualifiers for Qasden's 17th attempt at the World Cup commenced, the most optimistic of prospects put us in a solid mid-table state. Icarus Darsten, the legendary midfielder who managed the national team to its worst showing in history, flew too close to the solar events perpetrated by the hopeful fans yearning for his victory. His successor, in both captaincy and management, would be that in Valentijn Munson, the second woman and third consecutive Under-40 individual to take the helm of the Principality's premier sporting team. With an AOCAF quarter-final under her belt, the ambitions of Munson's neutral strategy, near equidistant in its aggression and retrograde, called for a 5th place finish at the end of 22 matches. Despite the Pot 6 nature of the country, 5th seemed like a genuine triumph for the Vans' inevitable return to the top stage...

...but 20 matches later, the nation at the River's End, alongside its lauded manager, have found themselves in a position so much more lucrative.

Hopes were near non-existent at the start of the qualifying cycle, kicked off with by a boot to the ass in devastating results against Ceni, Stevencousin, and Talamia from the get-go. Munson's tenure was spiraling into the 2nd quickest career exit, only behind Boulevard Drucati. Upon entering the so-called "Murderer's Row", however, the Cats' luck turned over their paws, as an uncanny streak of wins and massive draws gave way to a season worth saving. Tenacious Gyatso-Kai had been topped, Ambitious Kirungabi had been stopped, even the Mighty Adab had their points dropped. The return leg felt even more tense, as each win, lose, and draw gave way to new levels of emotions Qad fans haven't experienced since the days of Bjarnasson and Cralt-Nirlo. One by one, the nations within the group began to taper off from qualification, nicked by strings of unfortunate results that killed initially amiable runs. With 4 matches to go, the Blue-Reds housed one of these teams with nothing left to lose in the Canadian Dominion. The Geese, while down on their luck, were vicious ankle-biters to some of the pod's greatest; and with a case to be made for the Cup of Harmony (to be held in a certain snowy, wolfy place), the nightmares of the north were keen to spoil our cinderella run before the stop sign could shimmer in the headlights. Crowds of people clad in the Royal Primaries flooded the grounds of Merellin Park inside and out, the Cross of Integrity dotting home-made capes to spite the most prude of fashionistas. For just 90 minutes out of their days, the local Qads engulfed themselves in their limbic systems as they watched their Vans make a match into a desperate dominance. Cloveria No'Bell, joined later by Scottie Kaestre, zeroed out the zero by the cat-head crest. Cora Varnham, a prominent figure within a struggling defensive side, pushed herself and fellow teammates to keep the ball away from Thurstan, no matter the causation. Despite the warnings going into their bout with the birds, Qasden defeated the Dominion 2-0, rewarding themselves another day of sun in the competition.

The heat didn't stop in Elder, of course, as now the Blue-Red jerseys were exchanged out for Calcio Calico ones, to be packed in luggage bound for Adab City. The North Pacific nation has been particularly powerful this season, perennially hovering above that 3rd place threshold for further advancement in the qualifying process. However, some slight slacking in later matches jeopardized their seemingly calm stroll to the playoffs, with a near defeat to Græntfjall throwing them off tempo to a 4th place behind the cynical Ceni. The meet in Adab's capital evolved into an absolute necessity for both sides if they want to stay in competitive contention, the loser most liking dooming their campaign at 20/22. Hopes and drives were excellent in their presences at the city stadium, and the match itself proved to be one of ferocity and denialism. While the Adabians bolstered their fanbase by blitzing a goal past Zinnia, the Vans answered the call from home for a sneak attack by Jaylyn Bone, contending for the in-house equivalent of the gold boot, the Pyrite Pawprint, alongside No'Bell. Allan and Quickley kept their composures in the face of daunting attack formations, McCracken shaking off opposing plays to remind us why she captained the crew for so long before Orville. Sooner than later, the whistle of fate blew its innocuous tune, its riveting wake leaving a strung up 1-1 result. A draw, depressing for Adab, was a gift of grace for the Qads, for their campaign felt enlightened to live for just a little longer. It was promised by the new managerial administration that 5th would be the goal of this cycle, to make the Cup of Harmony before carrying on to the next AOCAF. With just 2 matches left in the schedule, 5th now stands as our floor; the ceiling, meanwhile, spans to an arousing 3rd, a guaranteed spot for progression to the WCQ Playoffs.

The predicaments of the situation at hand lies in the pudding. That specific pudding, over there. Qasden's 5th with 33 points, 1 behind the recently drawn Adab, but 4 behind the playoff's final candidate, the ones who started our campaign off back in City Centre, Ceni. The boys in Red and Orange, just as hopeful as our own to make a quaking comeback, surged deep into the closing days of competition, manhandling Yuezhou and Talamia to put themselves in an executioner spot for the Cats' crowning campaign. Staring down the Rushmori bronzers are Stevencousin and Græntfjall, one full of surprises, the other a respectful force of destruction worthy of the Group 5 Auto-Qual. All the Cenians need to do to seal off the playoffs from Middle Azeuria is to defeat at least one of the 2 in their returning matchups, a feat as easy to accomplish as it is to completely botch. Success rewards them the possibility of even challenging Yuezhou for 2nd Place, one not sought, but welcomed. For Adab to get in, like us, the tiny island state would need to take some brutal T's and L's, combined with Adabian triumph in their relatively simpler final lineup with Kirungabi and Natanians. Last, but not least, stands us, the only way up being a total win-out for 6 points and a dream. To achieve this, the Vans first fight their final home match of 93 with Dod Rava, a relatively obscure country that, despite that title, managed to somehow beat Græntfjall at the same time we tangoed with the 'dabbers. The miraculous handiwork of Borys Berezucki has the capability to be our final downfall if Munson isn't careful, so the Hotchskarth Hibernation match has to be taken with much more seriousness than the nickname forebodes. If that wasn't enough of a task, Calcio Calico are given the reins of the final protocol for qualification, a massive clash with the Pot 2, Silver-stained Dragons of the Rushmori Interior, Yuezhou. The United Republics has been a pain for every team not nicknamed the Snow Wolves this season, and with their own playoff contention being challenged by the Pot 3 and 4 squads below them, their sight for sustenance is sure to not end in their own battle with the devil in the Winter Queendom. Thus, at the end of an unassuming campaign, the Principality stands in a pristine purgatory, siren called by the pearly gates of the playoff echelon above them. For one, final time, can the Vans pull off the ultimate last gasp magic to accrue their first WC Playoff since Belle Haven in 80? Or, will this season wound up being one hell of a PR boost for Munson and her centered ideology of strategy? Stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for more reports in the future from our network; it has been the joy of my post-career career, thank you for reading, and goodnight.
Before we go into an unknown radiance, we have one last thing to cover, the QasCup Charity Match. The domestic-turned-international friendly, initiated by a QAFA offshoot organization tasked with promoting football with local youths, scored itself its first serious opponent since the inaugural days against Baker Park. The mid-qualifier tradition spans back multiple cycles, now, predominantly being played between the QAFA National Team and whoever's available for a little football off the fly. In the past, we've seen the Vans take on their Ice Hockey counterparts, catering employees, even minor celebrities from Qad City. For this occasion, however, the cup at Community Greens was to be contested against Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison, a Natanian-flavored republic expanding their appeals to the River's End. The match itself would prove to be one of genuine entertainment, with both sides making efforts to score incredibly and exquisitely. Qasden's own additions to the scoreboard were coined in by our Lacey Lane, Marco Bruno, and Lor Starcutter, the last of whom making the golden goal that would eventually award the Blue-Reds, once again, the Colorful Calico Trophy, lifting it with a resounding 3-2 victory over friendly rivals-turned-friends again.

The match was a success, and with plans to run it again in the future, all eyes are to the stars for what the QAFA Kids Initiative can bring next time!

by **Fort McKinley** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:49 pm

Since the Allen and Davis families had watched with not just a little glee as Quebec & Shingoryeo's Grim Reapers dismantled the Ft McKinley National Team in front of their largely glum supporters—Kate especially noted that the feed from the People's Revolution Stadium that was broadcast back to Anaia was devoid of much ambient noise, unlike the telecasts she'd watched back home—the side that looked so unorganized and discombobulated had not lost again, putting together a nine match streak in the intervening time.

The finale of the tournament would see the Mackies playing in Quebec, in Equinox Hill at the far eastern edge of the country. It was definitely not practical for making a trip to watch in person for the four of them, as Lee was 6 months along and of course the three kids would need to be cared for, but the women convinced Dave and Jason that if they really wanted to go, they shouldn't worry that a weekend “lads trip” would be a problem.

David had clearance from Coloratura City to have days off from training, as the club didn't have any matches during the break, and had even arranged for a pair of tickets through the RQFA, which turned out to be in club level with sponsors, officials and VIPs.

“Are we going to try to get seen by anyone from home? It's the last match, they might bring some association people along. Maybe even wives and girlfriends?” Jason was trying to get a sense of his brother-in-law's feelings as they rode from the airport to their hotel after arriving.

“I think we shouldn't go out of our way, but if we somehow were to come across anyone who recognizes us, we should maybe just give them a nod, or a quick smile and go on our way. There's no way anyone is going to have the slightest idea that they are going to bump into David Allen while here. For all they know we could still be in Mertagne.”

Of course, they were about 5 hours away from being the catalyst for a firestorm that would affect the entire 36 hours Fort McKinley would be in the country.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
HEROES LOOK TO FINISH OFF RISE FROM WORST TO FIRST (FMNA)--SHILOH SPRINGS
The Fort McKinley National Football Team will write the final chapter of the greatest turnaround in the history of the degenerate capitalist orgy that is called the World Cup when they face the last two obstacles in their way towards First Place.

The team from Greektoria, where the people wallow in the excesses acquired on the backs of the proletariat and have flabby limbs and large necks, will be the last opponent at the People's Revolution Stadium for this campaign. Our Heroes will seek to avenge the catastrophic defeat suffered on the tenth matchday due to excessive meddling in the outcome by the government of home nation. They will know real fear when they enter our monument to Comrade Dr Allen's vision of the Revolution.

On the last day, we shall stand tall and put our faith in Comrade Dr Allen's Will to vanquish the team of the capitalist vermin nation Quibbles and Shiny Bits, who smell of cabbage and have tiny baby hands and feet.
They shall not deter us from our rightful place as champions of Group 2 which will place us as the true representatives of the Workers of the Multiverse among those in the pigsty of degenerate filth known as the World Cup.

Manager Comrade D.T. Jones reports that the entire 23 man squad are fully prepared to leave their blood upon the pitch in sacrifice to the Revolution.

Republic Party Chairman Comrade M.D. Young has declared the next 72 hour period to be a National Holiday of Celebration to support the Heroes

by **Saint Eleanor** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:49 pm

World Cup 93 - nineteenth matchday of qualifying
Saint Eleanor 6 (Adam Denby goals 12' and 73', Natalie Monaco goal 27', Jessica Martin goal 39' [pen], Exandra Davies goals 45' and 58')
The Republic of Covelandia 2 (Unknown Covelandian Left Midfielder goal 52', Unknown Covelandian Striker goal 67'. What, James - you're telling me you had five days to dredge up the names of these players and you still couldn't do it? Okay, I'll let you off this time, but don't expect a good reception if you do this again.)

World Cup 93 - twentieth matchday of qualifying
Damukuni 0
Saint Eleanor 3 (Steve Pilchard goal 28', Tim Brandon goal 44', Cathy Winchester goal 83')

OOC on Bridget Coombe: Thanks to Eshia and Os, in that order. There's a chance you'll get a fully-fledged story arc about her and Cathy Winchester's 2003 escapades in a few cycles. (Azertienne is French.)

OOC on Hugh Roanoke: For our loyal readers in the United Kingdom, PLEASE DO NOT ORDER FOOD FOR DELIVERY USING DELIVEROO. You'll note I've mentioned them in particular rather than just moping about "the gig economy." That's because they will make you spend approximately 4% of the value of a nice, relaxing holiday on your food, shove the menu you've just seen in your face again when you ask to go to the checkout, give you an "expected delivery time" that doesn't change until and unless you refresh the page, leave you in the dark so much that the driver's given up and gone back home by the appointed time, and push you to order Domino's instead because you can recognise their delivery drivers and they give you a less vague idea of when your "dinner's" coming. Which is fucking astonishing, given that they gave you a range of possible times last week. Update 21-05-2023: I am happy to lift my recommendation against Deliveroo now that they've not only brought back the old system but now tell you exactly* how long it's going to be until your food arrives. Which means no more hungry Tin. Yay!

With Saint Eleanor needing a bit of help from Darmen and Safiloa to clinch automatic qualification...

What is a challenging situation you've been in before, and how did you work with other people to resolve it?

John Bailey: Everybody loves remembering how Indy's one-striker-or-two dilemma of 1992 made Gaff lose his job and almost broke the team. On a related note, everybody loves forgetting that the problem was not as intractable as it looked. Firstly, the pro-pairing group had it right; Sophie Wilton and Henry Green have become minor club legends. Secondly, the central midfield was nowhere near as strong as Farlane wished it would be; Soph wasn't super-conservative in comparison to Harry, but there were times when her presence in a deeper role really could have paid dividends. One occasion it did - on my insistence and that of Lydia Sharp at the start of the season - was the home tie against Good Hope Club, who (also in hindsight) had a team that was as good as it got for ten years. He thought starting Joe Richards, hardly scintillating in recent games and just recovered from a knock, was good; we, and a bit of Liam West for obvious reasons, convinced him putting Soph in the hole would be a better idea. We won by a handy margin, but the punters in the media thought we were being "risky" and the boss changed his mind. He shouldn't had - he would have quit on his own terms if he'd have just listened to us!

Cathy Winchester: Before I came along, it felt like most of the problems in the national team were solved by screaming at others, beating them, and watching the cycle continue until the people at fault were kicked out. These days, they're solved by talking to the captain. Halfway through the last Cup of Harmony groups - having scraped one win, wound up losing the next, not even making the playoffs after a few subpar performances of the kind we saw against Koronavia and hardly anyone else this time - I thought the White Stars were silently operating in crisis mode without anyone knowing, so I brought it up with Liam. He didn't need much convincing to agree and say that, while he didn't think the squad needed to be changed, they had to have a change in their attitudes from "good enough is good enough" to "we need to act like we want to win every game." We've never been big on complacency, of course, but the nudge definitely paid off for other reasons. If it turns out i was the one who changed his mind, I'd bite your hand off!

Exandra Davies: I'd say a lot of the problems I've faced are ones I've taken into my own hands. I like to have new experiences every now and then, however, and there were a few things I needed to take care of after asking to be moved on from Occidental Olympic some time ago. I told Charlotte that she could keep Mary, our - now her - pet tortoise, but she said she wasn't interested in moving with me so I had to find a new girlfriend. I needed to sort out severance and my general future, which was all agreed; I had to look into the transport facilities, which I still use whenever I can; learning how to cook a few more things, budget in pounds, thank you, make other friends, get to grips with the place, and so on. There were only a few things I didn't have to really uproot, but I like them. I'd still like another move for its own sake one day, but Jolbonopolis United like me enough that I'll happily stick with them.

Sam Newbridge: Good Hope loves causing me ginormous headaches whenever I play them. Their lot have wound me up off the ball, tried to get the slightest physical deflection off me on the ball, been perfect targets for shouting matches at all times and... other things. It's beyond the point to name them all here. Crunch game, you see. The Coastal Derby is the single biggest game in our calendar and those fuckers in blue are bringing their A-game. We have to, too. I'm the one beating the drum all the time, in all the places, trying to get them to know that this is the time and the place to focus, to show what they've got and to prove themselves in preparation for more skilled opponents. Do they listen? Oh, hell yes, they listen. That's one of the biggest parts of my job - and I think I've done it well.

Liam West: There has never been an issue I have been able to completely deal with by myself. Matters of consequence deserve time, stress-testing and arguably the weight of public opinion behind them - and this goes for the good times as much as it does the bad times. As a general rule, if Cecilia - my lovely wife - thinks it's a bad idea, I don't go ahead with it!

Bridget Coombe: We don't do CAFA, so the regionals break is an excuse to go on a nice holiday with a friend; in this instance, Cathy, of course. We'd spent a couple of weeks around Aleirave, gotten the boat back to somewhere I can't quite remember and hitched the first leg of the flight back home from there to Burningham, the Osarian capital. We didn't have an awful lot of time for the actual return, however, and eventually didn't quite get there by a few minutes. It was stressful for a bit, but I talked to the ticket office and they were able to issue us tickets on the next flight a couple of days later. We'd never been in Osarius before outside the airport, but I had a solid grasp of Azertienne, the national language, and Cathy knew... oh, maybe a few words. One of us lives in Kelssek. Apparently that was good enough to ask the transport operators with help getting there, the locals with help finding attractions and restaurants, the people at the first hotel we saw with help booking a room - and the shopkeepers with help getting nice Osarian things we could take back home. In the end, we got back home as re-planned and made memories we'd never, ever forget. I think she'd be fine with me speaking for her on this, too!

David Newcastle: Anything that doesn't go to plan is a challenge. Some of these I know are my own fault; I can look at them, sort them out and say "right, that's that." A few others are more systemic; they aren't necessarily my business to deal with, and I might not even be able to correct myself, but if all the pieces get in the right order, we're good. Even more are somewhere inbetween. They're the things where something breaks down and I'm to blame, but to get the whole thing back up and running, everyone has to be on board. In a sense, I'm talking to everyone, all the time, about how to sort problems. They work out well almost all the time. Would I be playing football at this level if they didn't?

Sylvia Hollenberg: These days, I'd be perfectly fine playing in either defensive midfield or "vanilla" central midfield; some people have gotten the sense I was always a bit reserved even in a more obviously rounded role. My first ever international match, the one Nyowani Kitara can't seem to stop talking about, was... quite a learning curve, however. At the time, our midfield three had Bridget in the deeper role, Steve and I in central positions - which really hurt him, if anything. After Sam Newbridge was sent off late in the match, when we were 4-1 up, Bridget dropped back further, leaving me to clear up defensive midfield - and it did not go particularly well, because their players were continually slotting the ball to Lars Anders when I could do little about it realistically. I did struggle at the time, but with the help of well-focused training and a few tests set by Emma Steele for Sword and Shield, I improved by enough to be put in the holding role (or one of them, anyway) full-time during the Cup of Harmony victory.

Dekamela weMexala: My entire life's been low-level struggle... fine. General Mitcham is doing an excellent, excellent job right now; well done him. The big thing he's done is not to be like everybody else who has a lot of power and let people generally believe whatever they want so long as it doesn't harm the unity of the Grand Republic. Philosophical diversity is a big part of that: people generally believe what they want within this pretty big confine and often voice their opinion. Exandra I know has a big problem with forced speech! Really, people in the team have very different views about society, how it works and how people should behave. Many of them are on the socially liberal side of things: not legalise-heroin shit, but you know, don't go so hard on people for normal things. We aren't really a conservative country beyond that and I'd say I'm an outsider: not afraid to voice my own opinions on stuff, but I definitely feel like I'd be an outcast in any other national team. People do agree with my opinions, however, and some members of the team - Lydia and Richard are the obvious exceptions - have come to my defence on a few occasions. Not that the arguments are deadly serious!

Steve Pilchard: I like telling people that nobody knows how autism really works, myself included. 1996 was, to put it simply, a bloody confusing year for me. I was with the "youth side" the previous year, an unofficial gap program between the Charles Trump Shield and League football in which I racked up a shit-ton of goals, and wasn't moved up to the professionals until after I'd put in a few decent shifts as a sub with the national team. I was okay with them at first, but there was a widespread sense I didn't quite fit in: I was one of the quiet ones, really, and sometimes wasn't happy at the things people were doing. Samuel Short was the obvious person who stuck up for me, but mostly for contractual reasons; they joined the team, so they agreed to respect new arrivals and stuff. Bridget Coombe and Neil Rourke were also nice to me, as well. You know about her. He is also someone who keeps to himself a bit and isn't too outrageous, but normally takes people on trust unless they look suspect. I wasn't, he liked me, and tides eventually changed after I did good things as a proper, honest footballer.

Jessica Martin: The obvious example here would be... oh, my goodness. I'll be happy to talk to anyone about the state Abraham Straw left Sword and Shield in. By the time he was done, the dressing room was a fractious mess. Half of the people hated my guts, called me names, wanted to taser my contract, and worse. A certain somebody even tried to assault the national team manager for wanting to remove him from the team instead. Thankfully, the other half was a rather wonderful support group: I could talk to them about my concerns, they could bring their own to higher-ups without fear of repercussion of the kinds I was being threatened with, and we could, of course, offer ourselves reassurance about the days to come. I don't resent Mr Straw - he tried his level best in the circumstances - but he did not do enough to steady the ship in the meanwhile. We did, at least, get an exciting new generation out of it.

Tim Brandon: Serving as Grand Beach's part-time receptionist - and not even on formal contract - can bring a lot of adventures with it. On one day, I was confronted by some random chap who kept banging at the shutters begging to be let in. From what I could tell, he definitely wasn't the kind of person I could have dealt with myself, for fear of more substantiative harm than you might think. That was when I called the in-house security hotline, begged them for help and watched as they served justice. They weren't quite the Army... but they turned him over to them. I'm told he was freed but hasn't done anything particularly shitty since; it was probably the illegal hard drugs that get their way over here rarely.

Georgia Wood: A couple of weeks ago, I had to go to the supermarket and back to pick up a few things. It was about half an hour there and back, which doesn't sound too bad, but I decided to walk there and it didn't start raining until after I'd done the shopping, which was nice. That and it was January, so you can probably work it out. I didn't want to go out again for obvious reasons - bad weather, worse dress than I thought, possibly not enough central heating - until one of my husband's friends who works in the next district over told him he got a flat tyre on his car and couldn't get home on time, so I had to be like "matchmaker, matchmaker, find me a match!" Firstly, this was how I went from wearing a shirt, regular jeans and trainers to a layered jacket, a pair of skinnies, tall boots and a large takeout cappucino from the Premium at the metro station. Secondly, after I used the payphone at the other station to trace him down, I helped him get back home - which wasn't that far from the original station, actually; maybe a few hundred yards. The weather hadn't improved much and I was out there for much longer, but it was fulfilling, I helped someone who needed it, it didn't feel like my day was ruined and the tyre problem was sorted by the following morning. I told my better half I'd pick his outfit in the future as compensation, but they just feel indistinguishable; maybe I should ask for help with style modifiers rather than obsessing over randomness.

Hugh Roanoke: Professional nutrition is almost non-existent in Saint Eleanor and the Cup of Harmony win didn't change that. A couple of days later, I tried to order something on delivery for myself and Arielle - that culture doesn't exist over here; you just walk ten minutes to the restaurant instead - and was stood outside the hotel for too long to be worth it. I was fed up enough that I called a cab, asked to go to the car hire place - which was conveniently a few hundred yards down the road - flash my driving license, get to that place after asking a couple of people on the roadside if they knew where it was, go there, eat dinner, get told they gave up on trying to deliver it when they couldn't find it, returned it, and got back home. Was it legal? Yes. Did it cost twice as much? Pretty much. Was it worth it? Fucking yes. Food delivery... just don't. Go to the fucking restaurant instead. The foodie you have to put up with at club level is going to thank you for not polluting the room and not making her go hungry because you bet everything you had on it.

Lydia Nicholls: When I was at Elsfest a couple of summers ago, there was a thunderstorm that burned a couple of people's houses down - my neighbour who lived a few doors down was one of them - and blew a hole in a few others' roofs. I didn't think much of it at the time, phoned Broadlands District Council up after I got home and found out and said I could take her in. It wasn't until a bit later that I realised she was Eve Barnaby, my old biology teacher who lived by herself and told my hubby in no uncertain terms that he should not make her morning coffee, cook her breakfast, prepare things for her to do or even reserve a space for her to mark students' work because she could sort all of that out herself. She drew a line at borrowing one of the three spare bedrooms we had, though. She was as nice and lovely as I remember her being - a bit heartbroken, but you couldn't quite tell. When they finally got her place back in a livable condition, it obviously looked a bit empty; I got the shirt I wore in 2001's Showcase final defeat, signed it, commented "Sorry your house went up! When you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain" and gave it to her. She needed to exorcise it much more than I did.

Esther Launceston: A few weeks into 2000, I got my first weekly paycheck; it would have been around $800 or $900 now that Athletic were looking towards scooping promising players from the local area rather than giving up as they had been for some years. It didn't quite clock my mind until about 11:30pm that I could maybe go to the ATM about seven or eight minutes away, withdraw the whole lot to show my mum before she had to go to sleep - there's no statutory cash withdrawal limit but First Eleanorian limits you to a couple of grand in practice - and possibly remind myself in future about how much I'd have to work to get to the stage where I'd be earning... a lot more. Anyway, I got the cash out, but the ATM swallowed my card! Not conducive to further demonstrations of wealth. Thankfully, the bank has an out-of-hours hotline for these sorts of events it likes telling people about on its ATM displays - you can enter the branch and ask for help when it's open, which is 6am to 10pm - so I memorised that number, used the payphone down the road to call it and a couple of engineers were there to recover it after a while. The big reveal had to wait until the morning but you can imagine the smile on Mum's face!

Adam Denby: Was moving to Olympic Thessia a challenge? I'll go with yeah: I felt like moving on due to the Manuta shitshow, but George Dunbar saw an opening with the club having sold an incompatible striker; their lot are more obviously left-wing than I am, I'm just a believer in personal responsibility and strong collective systems for stuff. Not too much of a politics person, really. It looks like they're okay with me, that said. Can't be too concrete on this sort of stuff. We aren't the best team in the world - hopefully we'll get there some day - but the environment's positive, I'm chilled out with everyone and I'm still looking forward to new adventures. Problem? Solved, mate.

Aaron Francis: I got out of the career-sapping mess that was Juventud when Ian Jones offered me a contract. Seriously; I cannot stress enough how bad that place is. This is the third time in a row I've done this. Saint Eleanor doesn't do politics but if I'm going to run a single-issue party on anything, it would be that issue.

Harriet Williams: October 3rd 1999 was the start of Athletic as we know it today - although it was, in a sense, the end of the old guard. Nightingale and Wlad Wlad, both excellent international-quality players, had just joined; I was the captain of a squad stuck between them and what a few saw as a bunch of aging fogies, with our serious end-of-season competition being a new club that had just formed and had the legendary Takeshi Honda on his side. And we were playing them that day! What a challenge. Adam Woolley, while a decent bloke, was slowly losing his grip on the squad and I helped draw up the team plan alongside Marie Ackroyd, his assistant; onrushing wingers with some central support, a rapidly-collapsible defence and Nightingale ready to pounce when necessary was all part of it. That was pretty much the summary I gave; our pegasus got herself four goals, we were up 4-0 at the hour, ended up winning 6-2, had a spiffing time all-round and won the league because of it. By the time it emerged he had no part in the playbook, Woolley's grave was buried.

Naresmet taFrexala: One challenging situation I've been in before? I've gotten in too many of them to count, but I have a circle of about five or six good people in Athletic and the national team I can vent to - preferably somewhere with a decent, engaging atmosphere - they can listen to my problems, offer solutions and we can work together to sort them. Not at the same time, obviously. Esther and Harriet are the only ones in both teams; if you do want me to give an example, after a really close game in which we progressed in the Associations' Trophy on penalty three years ago after losing 6-3 to SS Vitelogna - Vitelogna! - we came together in the Premium Coffee, hammered out a plan for making sure we didn't slip as badly defensively, and they said they wanted me to go harder on the... left-sided players? Both of them, if it was necessary. None of the games were us at our best, but we knew how to clamp down on poor play after that, performed really well and showed we could generally do it on an international scale. With the exception that really mattered in the scheme of stuff.

Christina Fulton: I wasn't exactly considered for inclusion in the visit to Darmen earlier this cycle, which... I wouldn't say it hurt. Exandra is one of the best right-backs in the world, which is something she probably couldn't even believe I'm saying, but it was a bit disappointing: I'd have imagined she'd cherish a bit of rest against opponents that had started to lag since they pulled the reverse card on me. I talked to her for a bit and she said she'd be fine to let me have a go for the last twenty minutes or so. Priscilla was convinced, I played out the end, stopped any big surprises from happening and helped us look more credible than ever coming into the closing stages. Reverse card, huh? I had somebody play that on me during a friend-group game of Uno in secondary school and I had to pick up 48 cards as a result. There's nothing they could do about that.

Rick Goldsmith: A challenging situation I've been in before? The gangs on the streets - not in the school, they were pretty hard on that - tried to rough me up a few different ways whenever I bumped into them, even if I didn't do anything funny. How people helped me? I could have called the Army but mobile phones are - were - rare and I'd be a honest-to-God target to them if I did anyway. I wasn't buddy-buddy with any of them either. They are, however, impressed by knowledge. I just reeled off a few facts that everybody in middle set knew, left them amazed and inclined to leave me alone, I went about my day and talked to the Army about it anyway.

Arielle Richardson: Oh my God, I am so middle-class. Maybe that's the situation I'm struggling with. I'm not sure how I could move up short of leaving football, either starting a major business or moving somewhere else and winning the lottery. Although there's been rumours they're going to introduce one later this year. No, not a new business. That's the citizens' job.

Corporal Denise Livingston: OptaPoaf, which everyone uses for qualifier stats, was taken down just after round twenty; nobody knows why, but I read in the Sporting Daily they weren't happy about being denied three obvious penalties. What percentage of Poafmers believe that Esther should have been sent off for giving away that penalty in the Cup of Harmony last sixteen? I couldn't tell you. Anyway, once Lucy Howard - my best friend from school - noticed it, she asked me if I could help her out with piecing together the data from the World Cup qualifiers and using it to make a similar, one-time tracker just based off the qualifying tables in The Reporter. I helped her sort through the second- and third-placed teams a couple of weeks ago and we produced this table, which shows you the playoff ties would be if qualifiers ended right now. We haven't gotten the KPB nowcast up yet but I'm sure she's working on it. She might even finish it by the time qualifiers end.

Denise and Lucy's Playoff Projections (WCQ93, MD20)

Second-Placed Teams

Rel. Pos. Nation Name ---------- W-D-L GD ---- Pts
1 Squornshelan RS 16-1-3 . +34 49
2 Flavovespia 16-1-3 . +30 49
3 SAINT ELEANOR! 16-0-4 . +30 48
4 Xanneria 15-1-4 . +37 46
5 Huayramarca 14-4-2 . +24 46
6 Turori 15-1-4 . +23 46
7 Ochre Islands 14-3-3 . +16 45
8 TJUN-ia 14-2-4 . +32 44
9 Drawkland 13-5-2 . +24 44
10 Kandorith 13-4-3 . +20 43
11 Mytanija 13-4-3 . +18 43
12 Cabo Azure 12-5-3 . +25 41
13 Yuezhou 11-7-2 . +21 40
14 Gnejs 11-7-2 . +17 40
15 Pratapgadh 12-3-5 . +11 39
Third-Placed Teams

Rel. Pos. Nation Name ---------- W-D-L GD ---- Pts
1 Savigliane 14-4-2 . +32 46
2 Mertagne 15-1-4 . +29 46
3 IA Quebec 13-5-2 . +27 44
4 Baker Park 14-2-4 . +20 44
5 Nyowani Kitara 12-7-1 . +25 43
6 Valentine Z 13-2-5 . +13 41
7 Pasarga 13-2-5 . +9 41
8 Eraman 12-4-4 . +26 40
9 New Gelderland 12-4-4 . +18 40
10 Baggieland 12-4-4 . +17 40
11 Kimi-Suomi 12-3-5 . +21 39
12 Poafmersia 11-6-3 . +19 39
13 SENDHANG 11-6-3 . +9 39
14 Delte 10-8-2 . +23 38
15 Ceni 11-4-5 . +9 37
OUR PROJECTIONS SAY:

Squornshelan Remnant States vs Ceni

Flavovespia vs Delte

Saint Eleanor vs Sendhang

Xanneria vs Poafmersia

Huayramarca vs Kimi-Suomi

Turori vs Baggieland

Ochre Islands vs New Gelderland

TJUN-ia vs Eraman

Drawkland vs Pasarga

Kandorith vs Valentine Z

Mytanija vs Nyowani Kitara

Cabo Azure vs Commonwealth of Baker Park

Yuezhou vs Independent Athletes from Quebec

Gnejs vs Mertagne

Pratapgadh vs Savigliane

Natalie Monaco: My life isn't too exciting, so I'll give the most generic example from the world of football that fits: getting the striker in his place. It's the problem I live to solve if you boil it down to its most fundamental aspects, although it's easier in some circumstances than others. The literal no-names you see in the lowest echelons of world football can be sliced through like hot butter on a good day. Esther Launceston is probably my biggest headache right now: she has defensive verve, positional savvy, physical solidity and a love of pushing forward on a scale no other defender we've ever produced has ever had. I'd say she should be a holding midfielder, but that would probably exacerbate my worries. She should, though. A good playmaker will have the broad skills needed to get past good defenders, directly or indirectly, and set whoever's up front up for a great time. I'm hardly perfect, but I'm doing that a lot more than before. Pazzo's never seemed to mind, either.

Melcheta Pazorzal: Give me a couple of days to think about this, okay? I'm not in the business of snap judgments for ages-old problems.

Priscilla Evans: Jessica had her troubles with Sword and Shield. I'm confident Exandra had hers with the Good Hope, too. I had mine with about a third of the national team during the 90th World Cup, the cycle after our Baptism of Fire. The side was performing significantly below expectations all throughout the cycle; we were missing out on key points left, right and centre; and a good number of the people I was surrounded with were convinced I was the fault, if not a big part of it, and thought that getting a stricter manager in charge - almost through any means necessary - would sort this. A Cup of Harmony that met expectations should not have helped; on the balance of probabilities, SEFA would rather I'd have stayed on and told me so. There were a lot of people, in the squad and the staff hierarchy, who believed in me, wanted to give me more time and did not want the squabbling to continue; I'll be eternally grateful for every last one of them.

Lieutenant Stephen Mitcham: Oaktree's Army League team, when Colonel Smith was the boss, was a strong believer in assistant management by committee - which went just as much for the staff as it did for the expectation that players control their own affairs. On the final day of the 1991 season, with the Trident team challenging for the title and needing to overtake us on goal difference - and the Dockside and East Coast teams are the biggest threat to those located in the west - we needed to talk about how to approach the game. Our defence was perfectly set up, but we had no reason to believe the Trident wouldn't hammer their opponents. I do not know how or why it took us two-and-a-half hours over the afternoon before the game to draw up a plan, explain how the players were going to operate and send them to Smith for review and implementation. Do that he did, however; we won 4-1. The neat part is they dropped points, so the title was quite firmly in our hands.

by **Eura** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:58 pm

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 19
Kandorith 2–0 Eura
Scorers:
n/a, Vincent s/o 65
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason (sub Pearce 66)
4. J Menard
5. K Sherwood (sub Robson 87)
3. L Almwood (sub Holland 66)
6. J Gates
8. O Vincent
11. B Malone (sub Barnes 61)
10. S Singh
7. A Woodman (sub James 61)
14. A Sharp

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 20
Eura 2–0 Osarius
Scorers:
Robson miss pen 24, Brookfield 26, Clarke 80
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
2. A Mason
4. J Menard
15. Q Phillips (sub Duff 79)
3. L Almwood
6. J Gates (sub Cole 81)
24. G Stewart
12. O James (sub Douglas 89)
7. A Woodman
9. S Robson (sub Clarke 60)
17. R Brookfield (sub Miller 72)

emplor.eur/main/sport/football
PUNCHY ROSE VOWS TO FIGHT ON
Fifth defeat of qualifying leaves Eura on verge of another calamitous campaign end

After a brief mid-qualifying revival the Euran national team have collapsed once more with a hugely damaging 0-2 defeat to Kandorith that leaves them with an uphill battle to even make the qualification playoffs for World Cup 93.

Euran manager Sterling Rose is thought to have been on the verge of the sack not so long ago after consecutive defeats to Osarius and New Gelderland, before a string of five straight wins against Bongo Johnson, Rouyoute, The Cordian Isles, Tjorl and Sylestone restored Euran hopes of making it to the World Cup. Then came a stuttering draw away to Quakmybush, and from there the Euran campaign has imploded once more; the Eurans barely scraped past Gran Saguaro, then suffered a defeat away to Jeruselem that put them dangerously off the pace.

What was needed to save the day was a performance against Kandorith that would never come. A few years ago when Kandorith pulled off an unlikely victory against the run of play at World Cup 89, knocking Eura out of the group stage, it was regarded as a shock result and a huge underperformance, even with World Cup 87 fresh in the mind. This time around Eurans couldn’t even pretend to be stunned as Kandorith took a lead into half time. After the break, Eura seemed to be coming back into it with a few chances and an ambitious double substitution from Sterling Rose in the 61st minute may have tempted some into hoping for a change in fortunes.

But no sooner had Alex Sharp struck the post from the edge of the area (what could have been if that had gone in?), Oscar Vincent was off for a dangerous challenge in the middle of the park. It was one of the worst red card incidents in memory in a Euran shirt, a stupid decision from a player who would be pilloried by the national press the following day. However, in truth, his red card was only part of the story as an unbalanced, 10-man Eura lost control of the game, and were eventually finished off by Kandorith’s second. They were dire throughout and deserved defeat – including supposed leading lights of the Euran game like Jack Menard and Sophie Singh.

That result seems likely to have been a decisive, fatal blow for Eura who face a third unsuccessful qualifying campaign out of their last seven, having previously gone decades without failing to qualify. Changes made by Rose to imbue more consistency in team selection seem to have come apart in recent matchdays, while the players rarely look like they want to wear the iconic red and gold shirt.
Rose doubled down on his widely criticised approach in the next match, a home fixture against Osarius (3-4 victors over Eura in the other game), making a number of changes to the line-up and a formation change to the orthodox Euran 4-2-2-2.

At least there were no nasty surprises this time as Eura cruised to a 2-0 victory. Rita Brookfield and Ed Clarke chipped in with coincidentally similar close range finishes to secure the win, after Stewart Robson’s terrible form continued with a 24th minute missed penalty. Two matches remain, but Eura’s fate is firmly out of its hands. Eura are 5th after 20 games, only 12 of which they have won. They sit behind Sylestone by a point (despite beating them twice) as well as New Gelderland, while Kandorith and Jeruselem have all but tied up the top two spots with four and six point advantages respectively.

Chief Brigham Herald football writer Alan Kerry contextualised and summarised the situation with the brutal truth of the matter: “World Cup 87 was the end of a long unbroken qualifying run that was probably inevitable at some point. World Cup 91 was bad luck, after we beat Brenecia twice and then got sucker punched in the playoffs. This is different. This is a farce. Even if Eura somehow at least make the playoffs, it is at least a sign of how far Euran football has fallen. Eura are behind Sylestone and New Gelderland – good teams, but at least on paper with a much lower ranking that Eura, and that means any failure to match them for consistency over a long qualifying campaign reflects badly on the Eurans.”

“Much worse, despite what the WCC’s artificial rankings tell us”, he continues, “is the reality that we have fallen behind those nudists and their ‘brand’ of football, and Kandorith, the team who were jubilant at the very idea of even competing with us a few years ago, who now probably take beating us for granted, such is the reversal of fortunes. What the hell has happened? Why have all of these countries thrived, and two-times World Cup winners Eura devolved into a shadow of our former selves? We can blame the manager, the players, the media commentariat and fans, whomever else, but ultimately there are only so many scapegoats to put on the altar.” We would not usually cross-promote from another publication, yet we felt Kerry hit the nail on the head about a wider malaise within the Euran game.

It is no surprise that the rumours of massive, government-enforced reform on perhaps Eura’s most valuable sphere of soft power continue to gain pace, as reported in previous editions of this column and elsewhere. Still, for the moment at least, there is some thin hope of short-term redemption. Eura’s final two fixtures pit them against New Gelderland and Bongo Johnson. The former defeated Eura in the heart of Bastion, while the latter were comfortably beaten by the touring Eurans in their previous encounter. The New Gelderland game is an absolute six pointer, with only one of these two sides and Sylestone likely to reach the playoffs due to Kandorith’s three point advantage. Anything but a win will almost certainly be terminal for Eura, who should not struggle for motivation following consecutive World Cup and Olympic defeats to our Terranean island neighbours.

If Eura were to come away with three points from that fixture, then it would put Eura ahead of New Gelderland, and potentially Sylestone too if they were to lose or draw against The Cordian Isles. It would then be all to play for on the last day as Sylestone take on Tjorl and New Gelderland face Kandorith, who will will likely be qualified for at least a playoff spot by that point. Eura would have to do their part by completing the double over Bongo Johnson on home turf. If Eura fail to snatch a playoff spot, Sterling Rose is surely finished, and the EFA will be in the government’s sights. Even a playoff spot might delay the inevitable backlash after a thoroughly unimpressive qualifying campaign, unless Eura were to win said playoff and subsequently progress from the World Cup group stage.

Arnold Hottman was the first one to cross the Rubicon. The protestor, his face painted in Austroslovakian colours, his t-shirt ragged with a mix of sweat and ink, marched into the Chancellery of the Principality of Austroslovakia in silence. He was in awe. Above him, a beautiful array of paintings and ornate decorations covered the ceilings of this massive atrium. In front of him and to his sides, the room was abandoned, with boxes of papers turned over on the floor and a guard’s uniform discarded on a chair. One day this moment would be famous. Hottman would be written about by many of the nation’s finest authors.
Today, he was just another unhappy Austroslovakian.
He was soon joined by a few dozen more. Then hundreds. Then thousands.

Leading them was a woman, Anita Vargova, who only a couple of years ago had been a retail worker. Increasing hardship had driven her to politics and dissent. A beating at the hands of the Bundespolizei and a jailed sister had driven her to start building barricades. There were many wannabe leaders of the opposition movement in this increasingly desperate country, but Anita had stood out, charismatic enough to be a useful figurehead, and enough of a pragmatist to not alienate the key factions in the movement. She was the nearest it had now to a spokesperson, in Graz at least.
On this historic day she mounted one of the most vaunted monuments of the old capital centre, right outside the Chancellery, and gave a rousing speech. She called for the whole smash – Pult out. The end of the security state. Free and fair elections. Justice. But she came back to one word more than any other.
Surrender. Specifically, the surrender of the Pult regime.

Opposing these rebels was of course the Chancellor himself. After the reports of the capital breaking out into full on anarchy and the sudden going-to-ground of the Interior Ministry’s lackeys, Pult had grown a spine and decided to return to the capital rather brazenly, simply driving into the city to reassert control, which the people would of course be grateful for after all this chaos. He gathered a substantial column of troops and vehicles from his temporary base and others, convened at a junction on the 5-Bahn highway, and immediately made haste for Graz.
The problems started as soon as they pulled on to the road. It was heaving as traffic jams stacked up for miles off the back of a wave of organisational chaos in the highway system. Pult, in his armoured limo, was insulated from witnessing this inconvenience directly, but grew impatient as the convoy slowly ground towards the capital.

It was at the outskirts that he raised his head from the sand to see what was really going on for the first time. It wasn’t just travel infrastructure chaos inhibiting the army’s disorderly procession back to the centre of power. People were deliberately impeding them. Men, women, young and old, regardless of ethnicity or religion, people from all corners of national life were making a concerted effort to get in his way. Now they had stopped again, Pult was growing infuriated.
“Why aren’t we moving this lot on?” he demanded, pointing vigorously in the direction of a crowd a hundred metres or so down the road.
“Its kids, sir!” replied one of his soldiers.
“Kids?! Don’t be ridiculous.” He disembarked from the car and marched forward himself.
Once he reached the front, Pult saw it all with his own eyes. A group of pre-teen and teenage children were sat in a human chain across the highway, thirty-wide and fifty-deep, with a row of vehicles behind them.

Pult felt a tap on his shoulder and realised it was General Hennesberg, the man he had temporarily entrusted with control of the armed forces after Haeger’s reported death (and Novak had shown in just a day or so that he drank far too much for the job). “Chancellor, what are you doing? You’re exposed here!” People were indeed taking photos of him, but thankfully from his perspective no-one had taken a shot. “Come on, let’s get back to the car.”
“Tell these idiots to get out of our way!”
“We will, we will. Keep moving sir.”
Back in the limo, Pult waited. And waited. And waited…then waited some more.
“Why is nothing happening!”
Hennesberg agreed to investigate and left the vehicle accordingly. He was gone for a long time. And when he came back it was not good news that he was delivering.
“Sir, here’s the facts. We are still twenty miles from the city centre. Behind this group there’s thousands more rioters waiting for us. And beyond that…well, a couple of our jets flew over the city again, and the streets are rammed.”

“Did the subversives flinch at least?” Pult said, taking no shame in having terrorised his citizens with an actual airstrike on his own capital city.
“Possibly, sir. But they didn’t go home. They are still there. And there’s just too many.”
Pult was deadly quiet. Unlike figures like Novak and Haeger, Hennesberg was not a regime insider, but a career soldier who had never been enthusiastic for this regime at the best of times, let alone now. He felt the writing was on the wall already, but he couldn’t be sure if the Chancellor was ready to hear it.
“Sir. If I may…”
“You may not.”
“…really, sir, you must listen to what I have to say. Don’t you think that – well, possibly I am wrong as I am not a man of politics, but, could it be that the strength of feeling is so strong that…” Hennesberg paused and then took a big gulp before continuing.

“…that maybe the game is up?”
Pult still said nothing. Hennesberg carried on. “You see, sir, you have had an extraordinary run in office. Truly remarkable. You will go down in history. And you have acquired great wealth, investment and properties abroad, perhaps now is the time to choose a career outside of polit-“
“General Hennesberg you are treading on a very fine line between what is advice and what is treason. Get out of this vehicle and tell your men to clear the road.” Hennesberg went to obey. As he opened the door, Pult spoke again. “Use force if you need to.”
The General gulped again, then vanished out the door.
Pult hated the idea of losing out to these bastards. He felt everyone had conspired against him. And his former partners or at least tolerant neighbours, such as the Eurans, had abandoned him.
But Hennesberg’s words did resonate. What if I can’t take power without shooting my way through half the bloody population?

Pult was an autocrat and had already killed in great number, but he was not a genocidal maniac or warmonger. Nor was he principled or brave enough to sacrifice himself for anything, even his own ego. And this meant that the prospect of waging a civil war or actively murderous crackdown was starting to seem more and more unattractive.
Hennesberg returned. He was smiling, just not for the reasons Pult would have hoped.
“The troops are refusing to move the crowd on, sir. The lead tank has turned off its engine and the crew have disembarked. There is international press present sir, and they are filming the lot of it.”
“Then why are you fucking smirking like a toddler in a candy shop?”
“Because, Chancellor, if they won’t follow these orders, then we have no way of getting through. And by we, I mean [i]you./i]” He paused to sigh and for extra impact, then went in for the jugular.

“Sir, you have lost the country. Even if you personally get out there and try to take on these people, they will swarm you and you’ll be hanging from a bridge by sundown. Don’t let it end like that. Make the smart choice.”
Decades of rule with only a slither of legitimacy, and it had all come to this? Pult cursed his fortunes. One day, he would have his revenge.
Today, Hennesberg had a point.
“We will turn off the 5-Bahn”, Pult uttered as if he were reading his own epitaph, “and make it look as if we are looking for another route. You will dispatch some of your men to give that impression by continuing towards Graz for a few hours. The rest of the men and us will…will…” He could barely bring himself to say it. “…will head to the military airport, Meyers Field. Get my plane ready. And get me my staff on the phone – they need instructions – I have, er, personal property to collect from my other residency outside of Graz.”
“Which? One of the three palaces, six dachas, or eight hunting lodges?” quipped Hennesberg.
In another time, Pult would have jailed the man. All he could do now was give out a bitter laugh.

by **Independent Athletes from Quebec** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:59 pm

Independent Athletes from Quebec (IAQ) - World Cup 93 Team
WINDOW 11B-12B - @ Ochre Islands / vs. Fort McKinley
26-PLAYER ENTRY

GOALKEEPERS (3): Seung-Myeon Kravitz-Hyeon (Montreal Koreana), Sandra Middleton (Brinemouth, NPH), Leopold Shim (Megabrantid, SRS)

DEFENDERS (9): Kira Dormann (Kingsbury United, TMB), Hannah Kim (Damogran, SRS), Pierre-Karl Miller (RGS Athletic, EFL), Clement Mattern-Soh (Perce Town), Benoit Nianzou Jr (Deportivo Junin, VLD), Bastien-Luc St-Onge (AS Beszieres, VLD), Benoit-Richard Ukaleq (Mipojoseon), Klara Verlaan (FC Inter Nantwich, TMB), Frederic Yabusele (Atletik Tezia, MYT)

MIDFIELDERS (7): Jean-Christophe Babin (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Mathinna Bouck (Montreal Koreana), Joelinton Dyxkeson (Brantisvogan, SRS), Arsene-Michael Litt (Liria Prirzen, MYT), Samuel McTavish (Lakewood City, TMB), Camille Oh-Chainey (CSKA Quebec), Yim Dong-Heui (Bohemians Metropolis, VLD)

FORWARDS (7): Kate Huitema-Omeasoo (Istria City FC, BNJ), Anna Korniloff-Kouyate (1896 Ebor, MYT), Eloise Kweon (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Oberon M'bah-Pinho (Kingston FC), Nathalie Thormeyer (Swangard Athletic), Ruby Vanderley (Lanar, CMT), Zinaida Woodcarver (Crisisbless, NPH)

Dr. Heo and the Portal of Madness II: Map of the Problematique

PART 2.5 (37) - Unravel

For a long time, Hannah Moran was sleepless. Sometimes, even when she would try to put herself back to sleep, her mind would remain occupied by her own thoughts that she, aware of the lack of awareness her three siblings and parents had with the ailments that had haunted her, would wander. In the half-sleep, half-awake state she was under the term 'I'm going to sleep' had meant nothing but a lie she had put on herself for years, for she would find herself navigating through those dreams where she, who would find herself travelling to different places and sometimes alternate dimensions, would be simulating the what-ifs of the scenarios that would be assigned.

The presence of lights in any space she would sleep did factor, but not to the extent that you would think of. Sometimes they would reflect the brightness of the night's lights, while the lamp in her bedroom was left on. But then, even when the lights were turned, the darkness had meant little inside Hannah's dreams, for would only take effect between the introduction session for the night and the same dream's mission. the lucidity and the depth of her dreams would often mean that Hannah would struggle to sleep for less than eight hours a day.

This did not exactly mean that she was out of control over the world she had envisioned or would desire to travel either. It was true, after all, that the tasks she would face now and then was that of another world, one that had she's barely been scratching the surface under her professor, esteemed Isabel Jurado. But the freedom of delving into what she would think about in the earthly hours she would spend while awake also provided her with the freedom of setting course in the dreams, and in those alternative dimensions, she's able to choose what world she would be able to go into until she's able to find the one that she would dream of.

The impressions of those dreams were the ones that suggested a life well beyond the realities of the planned, dry prairie city of Jolbonopolis, and those considered bit more surreal even by Minuit a Joongyeong. They would continue well into the day, and as she grew older and more adventurous, took a stronger hold on her world. It did not exactly disturb her, even if the hold became more apparent over time, but those closest to her would notice an additional colour in her iris, the Gaelic word for it being Inteachan for some funny coincidence, and how her eyes would shine like a night's star. For most mortals, it would not be understandable, as that requires an understanding of the spiritual world of the Quebecois (that being those indigenous to the land) or the Shingoryeoites, but the allure they would provide, combined with the depth of her interests in the interests involving the water and the music, would generate a spark, that of inspiration or desire, for those who dared venture further.

It is with this notion of a sleep-voyage, one that we have covered on several occasions prior, that we head into the morning. As usual, Hannah would wake up from her sleep. One that was without a vivid dream like the usual she would undergo, but a quiet night's sleep earned through the travels all the way to the Rink of Dreams complex in northern Quebec. She would wake up to something different this time, however, as it would not be the comforts of her bedroom surrounded by the street noise outside her window in a city 'JXXX' (Jolbonopolis or Joongyeong), but somewhere warm and deserted, ever so peaceful without a sound.

Just like that time at Isabel's place, I am back into limbo again. Hannah thought again, as she would blink her eyes a few times, before being greeted by the warmth of the light that had surrounded her in its organicity. But there's something different about the way lights shine at me right now....

As she had thought the light did feel different on face, however, as Hannah would lift herself up from sleep. Instead of finding herself in the middle of forced sleep, before waking up to see Joon-Gweon, she would find herself in middle of a more stripped-down, welcoming setting - a basic guest's bedroom with relatively little furniture and amenities, almost appearing as if intended for someone on a short voyage with little turnaround time like hers.

It feels somewhat homely, though I don't know why, Hannah thought to herself. almost as if I could stay in this place.

She walked out of the room, and into the balcony. What stood before her, and also under the balcony, was a garden. The garden was filled with plants both rare and familiar, and was linked to a gigantic fountain right in the middle of it via multiple tiled walkways, which were coloured in white, cobalt blue and light yellow. Dried and heated in the Tamazghan sun of far-western Atlantian Oceania, the trees had dry leaves in general but the plants' state of maintenance, in spite of the weather, suggested that somebody was taking care of the gardens.

At the centre of it all, however, was a man in his twenties as he laid half-submerged in the middle of the fountain. His dark hair was cut short, and whatever the moustache and the beard he had shaved, blue and white cardigan wet and next to him held a submerged sabre. The man had broad shoulders and weighed a bit, though was no more than 5'11" in height, and the man was breathing in a rather relaxing motion while his eyes were closed in peace.

'Did you know that this house's painted blue? This garden's original creator, Eugene Bellemare, painted the entire house blue.' said Henri VIII as he appeared right next to her, drawing a moment of surprise for Hannah who did not expect the late, deceased monarch to appear. 'The words were that he wanted a shade of cobalt blue that would fit with the soil and the plants here, in Khenikech, that he had to create an entirely different shade. We call that....Bellemare blue, or Belle-blue, nowadays.'

Hannah smiled back, as she would come to notice how the shade of blue differed. Henri VIII, a former frequent flyer into the Bellemare Gardens, just drew a slight smile. 'It's a great place and even greater weather to die, isn't it?,' She just said along, as her eyes drew back to the man floating on the fountain.

'Don't think of it like that, Mille. Moran,' he said. 'You aren't here to die. Death isn't so automatic or anticipating as you would think. Rather the opposite.' Henri VIII then asked her. 'Who do you think this is?'

'Dunno, would I want to know?' She answered.

Henri VIII gave a light laugh. 'The man who's lying on the water's Dr. Heo,' he answered. But that's not the actual Dr. Heo either. Just himself lying on the very vision of himself years back, on the verge of life and death...one that he rarely told to people, one that you wouldn't want to know.'

'But then why was that moment important?' Hannah asked again, slightly surprised to see a family friend being talked as a topic by the late Henri VIIII. It was very much the opposite of the Henri VIII that had been mentioned in history books, or those recalled by those who knew him well. Almost as if this version had changed in the decades of afterlife. 'Is there something specific with him that we have to remember to solve...'

'Yes.' was all that he said.

by **PotatoFarmers** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:59 pm

Sporting Daily
OptaPoaf apologises for "rash" move, promises to resume OptaPoaf services before full time in MD21
Fiskadaha - OptaPoaf has issued an apology letter following the company's rash move three days ago, calling on the move by its employees "uncalled for" and promises to set good example its viewers and consumers.

In a letter released to all its subscribers and Poafmersian media outlets, OptaPoaf has said that the company's move was done by a "significant" proportion of its employees after the poor refeering decisions between Poafmersia and Lionsroar. "A significant number of our frontline employees, who maintain the services and our social media profile, have unilaterally made the decision in protest of the bad refeering decisions, and with the intention of pressuring PFFA to make an appeal to have the results of the match overturned," the letter wrote. "This was done without the prior consultation of the management of the company, and that it was done by the employees, with support of some high-level employees as well."

OptaPoaf proceeds to apologise for its actions, and mentioned that the company conducted an "internal review" among all its employees. "As a company with huge influence in Poafmersia and abroad, we understand that the decisions that we make could potentially have a way-larger impact on the multiverse. In particular, OptaPoaf's open petition for the result to be appeal could be used as fuel by conspiracy theorists to say that the World Cup is merely a rigged affair with biased referees aiming to throw a spanner in the performance of selected top teams in the world," the statement read. It added that the employees involved were given compulsary "counselling" regarding the matter, and that all the employees have fully understood the seriousness of the action. "Whether the PFFA decides to pursue any further action over the matter, they are the authority to make a decision and judge whether the refereeing decisions were fair. OptaPoaf, as an independent sports statistics company, should not be rash to make such judgements especially since we do not understand all the context behind the issue."

OptaPoaf also added in the statement that some of its data engineers have been using this downtime to work on some maintanence and propose potential improvements. "In particular, the downtime has accelerated development of a new table generator, which would be able to pre-calculate elimination consequences based on the given tiebreakers and provide teas with a better understanding of their situation in the qualifiers." OptaPoaf mentioned that the product will likely be released shortly after this qualifiers, adding that it would be implemented for the new microsite for the upcoming World Cup proper and Cup of Harmony tournaents.

When further probed by the Daily, OptaPoaf's spokesperson added that this was a lesson that they hoped would be understood by various media outlets and content creators around the multiverse. "If there is no substantial evidence and contextual understanding, everyone should not make baseless allegations, or launch a campaign over the issue. All this does is to raise unnecessary doubts about the integrity of hosting, and in general negatively impact the reputation of sports and the competition. This would be especially worse in the case of such a big competition like the World Cup." The spokesperson added that the company will take any responsibility should the World Cup Committee or the Poafmersian Football Association request compensation for the "reckless comments".

by **Chromatika** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 11:00 pm

Fifteen dreams are realized. Thirty will hold onto hope. One hundred and forty-five lie dead.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

May the glorious dead remember you.

All posts beneath this one shall be graded for the next cutoff.

by **Srubnaya culture** » Tue Feb 28, 2023 11:39 pm

Jevencus just defeated Srubnaya in a 1-0 spectacle that went into the 92-minute mark. The Srubnaya FC team gets ready to head home, as the players take their picks on which team will make the championship, many bet on Nyowani Kitara. While may are disappointed with the fact that Srubnaya couldn't make it to the championship, others who didn't have high expectations defended the Srubnaya team. Talking about how their players played with tenacity against superior opponents and even managing to come away with some victories.

Either way the Srubnaya team was still apart of the 145 who lay dead. So it was waiting till next year for the team. Luckily since they had met their 8 wins quota, they were awarded their prize money and grants, which meant that they could finally go on that much needed vacation to cancun away from the stresses of opponents like Jevencus and close to their teammates and loved ones. Even in defeat the Srubnaya team still finds a way to hold hands with victory.

by **Ko-oren** » Wed Mar 01, 2023 12:58 am

Journal of Gehrenna - Pithelelash 5 - 180 Koronas - Become a member starting from 500 Koronas a month
Bonhomme: New Round of Constitutional Amendments

Al Bonhomme, the minister of Justice in his second term under prime minister Laurderinthen, has opened this political term's amendment procedure. As is customary within the Ko-orenite legal system, the constitution is a living document that should provide some guidance for the rest of the legal system to follow. It outlines not just the way the country (legally) operates with basic freedoms and rights, it also gives a definition of how policies should be written, on what basis, and how subsequent cases should be adjudicated. Every term - every six years - a round of amendments opens, and a committee consisting of various branches of government convenes to suggest and then implement necessary adjustments.

Of course, every decision in this procedure is open to corruption, though it's not very different from the day-to-day risk a meritocracy runs. Every step in the process is the result of centuries of deliberations, as one of the few constants in Ko-orenite legal history. The meritocracy in Ko-oren is neutral towards change versus continuity: it neither favours change nor favours continuity. Quick changes are possible through an efficient government whose members are specifically appointed for their talents - one of those might be that they're good at securing political support for changes and then rapidly implementing them. Continuity is found in procedures, changes to which are made carefully and relatively slowly. Continuity is more difficult to find in the people enacting these procedures: their positions and roles change more quickly than society does at times, and a balance between fast changes and large, sluggish governments must be found.

One of the ways that is done, is specifically via the constitution. It starts with the regular articles about basic rights and freedoms, and then turns to meritocratic issues. It deals with how people are appointed and which steps must be taken in comparing candidates as well as the transparency needed to ensure fairness. This goes all the way from the prime minister, to cabinet members, down to devolved elements like governors and mayors.

Another way of approaching the roles in government is via the separation of powers. Most countries aim to have the classic three: executive, legislative, and judicial. Ko-oren, seeing its meritocracy as particularly vulnerable for corruption and interference, has added some checks and balances, creating a separation of powers with more than three elements - and this is actually one of the amendments that could be changed during this term. There is a call to outline these powers more explicitly and give them their own chapter, after which the powers will be examined in more detail in their specific chapters. Critics say that the relationship between powers should be stated more clearly: legislative being the ministries, judicial being the hierarchy of courts from local to national - with two highest levels, the Supreme Court and the Constitutional Court - executive being governors, mayors, as well as police and various military branches as far as Ko-oren has those. So far, so good. A fourth branch is the auditory branch, being the parliament, which audits the legislation proposed by the legislative branch, audits the judicial branch but expressly without the ability to change its decisions, and audits the executive branch. The parliament focuses on long-term points brought forth by the judicial and legislative branches, but is also allowed to lose itself briefly in day-to-day operations via actions taken by the executive branch. The prime minister and the cabinet are members of the legislative branch - which is unlike most nations.

In addition, though they are not thought of as additional branches, the delicate hiring and firing of civil servants under the principles of 'the best person for the right task' falls under several commissioners that sit outside the ministries, parliament, or any executive office. They include (but are not limited to) the Ombudsman General, the Ethics Commissioner, the Integrity Commissioner, as well as the Electoral Commission (for parliamentary/democracy issues), the Civil Servant Applications & Appointments bureau (which takes care of 'lower level' appointments in ministries and devolved governments).

The entire amendment process is overseen by the abovementioned commissioners as well as the Law Reform bureau. Amendments are proposed by a committee that contains (some) ministers, (some) members of parliament, and (some) judges, with every group collecting input from their respective peers.

by **Baggieland** » Wed Mar 01, 2023 4:03 am

by **Mertagne** » Wed Mar 01, 2023 12:08 pm

And breathe.
After an intense qualifying campaign that has seen the team drift through highs and lows, Mertagne have managed to claw a spot in the playoffs in their highly competitive group, Group 9. Facing off names such as Darmen and Cardenao who were keenly looking to play the disruptor role that Mertagne has done for the past five cycles, Mertagne clinched shakily clinched third place with a draw against Koronavia on the penultimate matchday and a convincing win against The Republic of Covelandia to round off the qualifiers.

Mertagne's 1-0 loss to international minnows Safiloa is likely to be the low point of the qualifying campaign, but this is certainly balanced out by an amazing 3-0 victory over the Holy Empire at Dannin City Stadium on Matchday 17, making the Green Goblins the only side to beat the denizens of the Dreamed Realm in the qualifying stage for this international competition. Of course, this wasn't enough to delay the path to the finals for the world's 14th ranked side, who have sailed towards the finals in Tumbra and Chromatika, but shaking down those three points from a team that didn't need them has certainly aided Mertagne in their race to the top.

In fact, Mertagne's race to the top has been so difficult that in many other groups they would have qualified outright with the same record. The distribution of teams in Group 9 has seen a high-level core of the first-through-fifth seeds, with highly capable and adaptive teams such as continuing bug-bears Saint Eleanor, upstarts Cardenao, and the green and mean folks of Darmen showing up and playing some tough games against the lime side. At the bottom of the table, however, competition has been light, with a large gap opening up between 5th and below.

Mertagne have been 'rewarded' for their efforts with a playoff series against Yuezhou, who have faced the Mertagnians before in the 82nd Cup of Harmony and denied them the chance to escape the group stage. The Rushmori nation has been unlucky in their recent playoff attempts, suffering defeats on aggregate to fellow Anaians Flavovespia in cycle 91, and Squidroidia in cycle 92. It remains to be seen if Mertagne will be the one to make it three in a row, or if the Yueren side will be able to break their chains and ascend to the World Cup Finals.

Mertagnian national team manager Ázëwyn Fëanáro will be looking to ensure the team makes it cleanly through the playoff stage, as many Mertagnian media outlets have reported that she is on 'thin ice' should the team not qualify. Many are claiming that this news story is a bit of a smokescreen, however, as the national team has clearly made a marked improvement cycle on cycle under Fëanáro to get to this point. Should the Starblaydi elf be put in the position of managing a CoH contesting side once again, many have claimed that she stands to be put under the same ultimatum she was served back when managing the Purple Peril - win the CoH or bust. While Mertagne have been on a decline after their meteoric and frankly home-backed run to 4th in the 83rd Cup of Harmony, it is also unlikely that this will be asked of Fëanáro as the FMF understands the strong position the team is currently in. Should Mertagne miss the mark and make it to Græntfjall, a strong performance will likely be demanded, but a berth out of the group stage would likely suffice in order for the management team to retain their job security.

Several names on the squad have managed to successfully inflate their importance on the national team during this qualifying run, and are likely to become key cogs in the Mertagnian machine in the playoff series against Yuezhou. The squad has managed to sing under the captainship of Erdotza de la Fontaine, with the thiry-year-old proving an effective communicator from the midfield and ensuring that players find themselves in the right place at the right time. She is well supported by Rhiannon Fawn, the centred, steely-eyed keeper making a name for herself in Nephara and able to watch the progress of the Mertagnian team right from the back. Fawn's efforts in the game against The Holy Empire proved just how badly she wants this team to succeed, managing to aid in the blocking of an all out attack from the monks in which they had over twice the number of shots on target than the home side. Dannin City Stadium erupted with cheers at full time, and the fever pitch was raised so high you could have almost heard the snapping of alligators.

Young Burro Curwood has also been a key player in the attacking wedge of the team, with the Polaris striker being responsible for a solid chunk of the record sixty goals scored by the national side in this qualifying stage. He has been joined on the other side of the pitch by a Tara Number in her element, who has contributed a solid share of the remaining goals, and is proving to be a helpful example for the striker ten years her younger to learn from.

There are many key takeaways from this qualifying campaign, but perhaps the most important is that Mertagne are definitely regularly showing up as a team that can and will compete to their best. Many have claimed that they simply suffered a spate of bad luck last cycle, with a tough group with names such as Nephara, Kelssek, and Cassadaigua denying them a place in the playoffs or the finals, and that this cycle simply showcased the talent that has existed for a few years now. Many home pundits would be inclined to agree, but there are those further from home that have argued that this squad has finally learned not to buckle under pressure from the higher-ranked teams and remain in the fight for longer. Six points from Darmen and Cardenao, as well as three from The Holy Empire, would likely agree with such an assessment. Regardless of the result of the playoff matches against Yuezhou, it is likely that this current Mertagne side will keep its momentum going into whichever tournament it is invited to next.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Mar 01, 2023 2:48 pm

IMPRISONING WORTHY BROADSHEET SPORTS JOURNALISM BEHIND A PAYWALL SINCE 22XX, IT'S

Normality Restored
With such a disappointing 0-0 draw against Ryfenia, surely the Cult of the Glass Swan will be laid to rest?

After seventy-two hours of pundits, tabloids, streamers and social media warriors applying all sorts of meaning to Audioslavia’s dismal 0-0 home draw against Ryfenia - one that has now dumped the Bulls into a petrifying playoff against sixth ranked Pemecutan - it may now finally be time to put aside one of the most bizarre eras of Audioslavian football history.

Of course Audioslavia’s feats weren’t the result of divine (anatideic?) intervention. A reconstructed glass swan simply cannot have a measurable effect on a football team playing their games either two kilometres or two thousand kilometres away from said swan. Audioslavia’s fine form in the second half of qualifying can be explained with the same reasoning that accounts for their failure to defeat Ryfenia at the weekend - Ager Alaba.

The Astograthian manager took his sweet time getting this Bulls side to play how he wanted them to play, and the result overall has been the seventeenth best qualifying performance by an Audioslavian side in history. Each of the sixteen above involved the Bulls automatically qualifying. It’s a performance that out-paces the World Cup 63 winners, who succumbed to a similar situation in falling behind the group’s top-seed and having to navigate the playoffs en route to the finals.

The strength imbued in Audioslavia from Alaba’s new system is also its weakness. The side do not concede goals easily - only two games throughout the second half of qualifying involved opponents scoring - but their insistence on covering each and every defensive gap twice over means there simply isn’t enough man-power up at the business end of the pitch to put teams like Ryfenia to bed. Murphtannia, you may remember, themselves could have grabbed a draw despite being one of the worst teams in qualifying this time out.

The result is an excellent qualifying performance that, nevertheless, has been outpaced by a Squornshelous side that had the measure of Audioslavia in both games. Alaba’s system, while very effective against mid-ranked teams who fancy their chances against us, is suspect against the lower teams and, apparently, flails lightly against truly strong opponents.

And now, up steps one of those stronger opponents. Pemecutan may have made a meal of their qualifying group three, succumbing to shock defeats by a long-since competitive South Covello, a soon to be competitive Gothanita Isles and an impressive Gnejs who outplayed them over both rounds, and failed to convert possession and midfield dominance to wins against middling opposition so often that, for a while in the back stretch it looked like they may miss out on the playoffs entirely, but interspersed with those disappointments were 7-1 shellackings of region-mates Sendhang, a dominant 5-3 win over eventual group-winners Kelssek and occasional flashes of the side that so recently went toe-to-toe with the great Holy Empire in the World Cup final. Pemecutan are beatable, sure, but they are also beat-us-four-nillable and, as surely now we have proven, no amount of magic glass swans can make up for the basic gap in quality that exists between this Audioslavia team and sixth-ranked Pemecutan.

Let it be made perfectly clear. Audioslavia has now awoken from its bizarre cygnet fever dream. Reason and logic has returned to these lands, and only hard work and the right gameplan can aid the Bulls in bea

Your eyes glaze over. This kind of journalism used to be free in the back-pages of your friendly neighbourhood broadsheet newspaper. You used to just click on their website and read anything you wanted for nothing. They made all their money in sponsors, ads and sugardaddes, and now you have to subscribe to this shit? Man, the modern world really dropped the ball on this one. Still, it could be worse. It could be Bullsfeed. Gah, imagine! You haven’t come across Bullsfeed in ages, have you? You, after all, can spot a misleading clickbait headline a mile away. There’s no chance that you, a hardened internet veteran, would ever is that a salami?

IMAGE OF SWAN SEEN IN SALAMI
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN? OUR THEORY WILL MAKE YOU READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE THAN YOU PREVIOUSLY EXPECTED

It’s hip to be an atheist in upmarket Seamroc these days, but how many Audioslavians will now convert to Cygnianity after this?

Pat's Butchers, around the corner from quasi-famous Seamroc pub The Devil’s Share, has become the centre of the football multiverse with the discovery of this clear and obvious sign! Maureen Kirkwynn, pro-butcher for over thirty years in the Catharan district, was noted as saying “It’s a sign! It must have a meaning!” as she cut open a salami sausage and noted, with wonder, that a clear image of the famous magical Glass Swan was right there in the middle of her sausage.

“I thought something had gone wrong with the machine” continued Maureen. “Only last week we’d had to get rid of some staff, notably the sous-butcher for putting his penis inside the last sausage slicer we had…”

“What happened to the sausage slicer?” This reporter asked.

“Oh, we had to fire her too. Anyway so I was just cutting this sausage myself and I noticed.. look, it’s right there!”

*
“I think it means we need to preserve the swan in pork offcuts” says Maureen, 61, from Cathair

The weird thing? That butcher's shop is in Seamroc, which as you well know has another, less official name to Catharans: Glassbridge. A sign? Of course a sign! Tedious Coincidences are evidence and have been for such a long time you've forgotten what it was like to actually think about something!

The magic of the glass swan may have cooled for some Audioslavians this week, following the failure to win a game for the first time in history when in possession of a fully existent glass swan, but the fact remains that Audioslavia are still undefeated, that a 11-1-0 record with only two goals conceded (11 clean sheets!) is massively impressive, and so that glass swan must be doing something right.

Calls to #resmashtheswan have died down as a result of this offaly important discovery, with #protecttheswan and #saveourswan and #longlivechouriçobird riding high in the social media standings, but there are those who believe the power of the swan must be regenerated by, once again, smashing and rereconstructing it.

“It had so much power” says one twitter user who I’m totally not making up but whose tweet I’m not including for no reason whatsoever, “it needs to refill its swan batteries. Let’s smash it, let the Racist AI reconstruct it, and fight our way to the World Cup!”

There are no plans for another ceremonial diswantigration, with the FFA maintaining that their players are important to them and their clubs and that whisking them away to his a crystal bird with a mallet did not necessarily constitute a good use of their time.

If you enjoyed this article, why not consider a career in hamburger flipping?

* image created by me using rudimentary graphics software and the first instance of a slice of salami from google, but that's probably obvious

World Cup 93 - RP Thread

What do the White Stars think about... resilience?

Who is online

Rel. Pos.	Nation Name ----------	W-D-L	GD ----	Pts
1	Squornshelan RS	16-1-3	. +34	49
2	Flavovespia	16-1-3	. +30	49
3	SAINT ELEANOR!	16-0-4	. +30	48
4	Xanneria	15-1-4	. +37	46
5	Huayramarca	14-4-2	. +24	46
6	Turori	15-1-4	. +23	46
7	Ochre Islands	14-3-3	. +16	45
8	TJUN-ia	14-2-4	. +32	44
9	Drawkland	13-5-2	. +24	44
10	Kandorith	13-4-3	. +20	43
11	Mytanija	13-4-3	. +18	43
12	Cabo Azure	12-5-3	. +25	41
13	Yuezhou	11-7-2	. +21	40
14	Gnejs	11-7-2	. +17	40
15	Pratapgadh	12-3-5	. +11	39