"We're eighth in the world," brag fans who have no idea what associations are good
To the delight of 1./ spectators, Zwangzug's league has been ranked the eighth-strongest in the multiverse following the establishment of the International Federation of Club Football. For the first time, it will be entitled to enter three teams to the top-level club championship, the Champions' League that views itself as a successor to the UICA Champions' Cup, in addition to sending the next three teams to the Challengers' Cup (Globe Cup equivalent).
This joy was slightly tempered, however, by the knowledge that outside their own top six, most of these fans are completely oblivious to the current ranking of the associations. "Um, I think Starling were good at one point," said a 102d partisan speaking on condition of anonymity. "And they're from Nephara, and...well that's where North Sabrefell is, so there are probably a couple other good teams in Sabrefell proper, the part that isn't the north." A Trebuchet Cham scarf-wearer noted that "Vilita are related to Turori, and they do their own thing, also their World Cup team is very good but that's not really relevant here."
"Capitalizt SLANI ran the UICA but presumably they're less strong now...they're still ahead of us? Well, it stands to reason," muttered a (west side) FTC United supporter. "I know Yuba is there. And Sonoma Center. Also the Battling Bishops, although I think they weren't in competition recently."
"I saw a movie about Cathair, in Audioslavia," ventured a fan at the Bug House in Twineur. "Um, there are a couple of good teams there, also in Spanish when you form the -dor form of a verb you...neither of those are the best team there? I think you're making this up."
"Valanora have Raynor City, who used to be the Rockers but now aren't. Also Wexax United, Megan Kucinich played for them," stated a self-professed "Port of Clotaire bandwagon hopper" before we told her nobody cared how many Cafundelense clubs she could name.
"Whatever, someone we've never heard of will probably smack our guys around anyway and then we'll be back down to five teams," said an Ephesian FC pundit, presumably in the hopes of not getting his expectations too high.
Zwangzug's success was not limited to IFCF-sanctioned competitions; University of Homler would make it to the final of the IUCC, avenging Lanius University by ousting Maxford University, of Darmen, in the quartefinals. Willowbourne Technological Academy proved too much to overcome, however. Jessie Wieferich scored Homler's only goal in the final. (Willowbourne's crosstown rivals succumbed to 102d Polyteknik in the first round, which will no doubt add fuel to the fire of STEM/humanities debates.)
Rovers United would lose to "the cool Spanish noun team from Cathair" in the semifinals of the Vilita Cove Invitational, but found some consolation in the prolonged penalty shootout; Elena Drys-Weller converted the winning shot after Hallam Vengor turned aside Tuntingone's seventh attempt.
As for Keppal Cosmos...well, you know.
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Outgoing transfers:
Akhil Sibal -> Stade Djalenga (Mkabia)
Laurel Tinker-Witt -> Dwile Warriors (Apox)
Incoming transfers:
Tim Marley (Newmanistan) -> Rovers United
Amoura Toogwalla (Turori) -> Modal College
Kamryn Wales (Eastfield Lodge) -> Liulevi University
Tarif Vindelle (Eastfield Lodge) -> Geeccles University
Facundo Razon (Audioslavia) -> Bulkeley College
Igon Erro (Audioslavia) -> Ashthorn College
Karar-Falax Zev (Qusmo) -> DU
Ibilx-Irtix Ono (Qusmo) -> Klerked College
Otoln-Prant Ezi (Qusmo) -> Maddon College
Marley is the only actual professional, but that's fine, he's the only actual national-teamer also. Bronwyn Sadler and the far-flung fanbase should appreciate his work ethic.
Concerns have been raised about whether Toogwalla really wants to be a footballer or is the victim of helicopter parents, but Modal College is a fine school and the youngster, who we're just going to assume is human, should be able to get a good education at least and then figure out the next step. Geeccles fans have proclaimed it a haven of actual learning and much better than the Revisionism Academy, apparently having not bothered to learn that "Revisionism" is actually the name of a city, but then again it might not be a particularly great city either. Facundo Razon is expected to meet no resistance in declaring himself a defender if he wants to be; sure, he's kind of not tall, but this is the country that lets Riley Kivrin play. (Although she's more defensive midfield so that's not the best comparison...but the point stands.) The Bassabook press will make a fuss about why are we importing even more Qusmo kids, but they will be overshadowed by pointing out that the university system now has a sixteen-year-old goalkeeper who singlehandedly clinched a significant international tournament and that's gotta be some kind of narrative coup, particularly by our standards.