[DRAFT] Duck Crossing

[Viciebskaja]

This is my first time ever trying to write an issue, hopefully I did alright lol
This issue was inspired by a book I read recently titled Moby-Duck. I know there was another issue that dealt with cargo ships being shipwrecked (#521), but I think this one is different enough. Please tell me anything I should consider editing!
By the way, I don't really know how @@THESETHINGS@@ work, so they're probably really messy in here. Oops.

[TITLE] Duck Crossing
[DESCRIPTION] A cargo ship carrying an assortment of bath toys sunk in the waters of @@NAME@@ a few weeks back. Included in the cargo shipment were thousands of plastic rubber ducks, whose cheaply made yellow paint coatings were discovered to be toxic to small marine species. Recently, ducks from the shipwreck have begun washing ashore on @@ANIMAL@@ City’s beaches, harming beach wildlife and bringing the issue to public attention.

[OPTION 1] "This is so exciting!” states scientist turned author @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, while placing @@HIS_1@@ surprisingly thick novel on your desk. "It’s an opportunity to create the largest dataset the @@DEMONYM@@ oceanography community has ever had! We know the location of the shipwreck, right? By tracking where these thousands of ducks end up around the coasts of @@NAME@@, we can also track the ocean currents that steered the ducks to their final destinations! We’ll need the public to help us search @@DEMONYM@@ beaches for these ducks for this project to be feasible, which is where my book comes in. It has a whole chapter about ways to get readers involved in the search. If you vigorously promote my novel to the entire country, the public will surely get interested in our cause!”
[EFFECT 1] books and beaches go hand-in-hand

[OPTION 2] “Those fiendish floaties!” exclaims overly dramatic environmentalist @@RANDOMNAME_2@@. “@@RANDOMNAME_1@@ is completely missing the point here. These toys are toxic and pose a serious hazard to marine species, and they’ll continue posing threats for decades if they’re not cleaned up ASAP! @@LEADER@@, you need to fund an environmental rescue mission to the shipwreck site to save our ocean’s wildlife immediately! Won’t you think of the animals!? That is, the living ones, not the plastic ones.”
[EFFECT 2] ducks have restraining orders on their rubber counterparts

[OPTION 3] "I can't believe how heartless you all are," interrupts the CEO of the shipping company responsible for the incident, @@RANDOMNAME_3@@. "We lost millions worth of product in the incident, and yet you won't think of our poor old company? The ducks aren't the problem here; they’ll decompose along with their poisonous coatings eventually, even if it does take centuries. The real issue is our monetary losses, so I implore you, @@LEADER@@, please, reimburse us for this unfortunate incident." A carefully choreographed tear rolls down @@HIS_3@@ cheek.
[EFFECT 3] generous government handouts have made purposely sinking cargo ships a viable business strategy

[OPTION 4] Suddenly, a small kid carrying one of the rubber ducks in question runs in through your office door, which was apparently left unlocked. After introducing themselves as @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_4@@, @@HE_4@@ chimes into the conversation. "Hey, @@LEADER@@, look what I found! These ducks are so fun to play with when I'm at the beach! I think you should give every kid in @@NAME@@ some toys so they can have fun playing with them, like me! Yay!” @@HE_4@@ runs back out the door, squeaking @@HIS_4@@ rubber duck along the way.
[EFFECT 4] playtime is all the time

[TITLE] Duck Crossing
[DESCRIPTION] A cargo ship carrying an assortment of bath toys sunk in the waters of @@NAME@@ a few months back. Recently, rubber ducks from the shipwreck have been washing ashore on @@ANIMAL@@ City’s beaches.

[OPTION 1] "This is so exciting!” states scientist turned author @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "It’s an opportunity to create the largest dataset @@NAME@@’s oceanography community has ever had! We know the location of the shipwreck, right? By tracking where these thousands of ducks end up around the coasts of @@NAME@@, we can also track the ocean currents that steered the ducks to their final destinations!” After pulling out a surprisingly thick book and carefully placing it on your desk, @@HE@@ continues: “We’ll need the public to help us search @@DEMONYM@@ beaches for these ducks for this project to be feasible, which is where my book comes in. It has a whole chapter about ways to get readers involved in the search. If you vigorously promote my novel to the entire country, the public will surely get interested in our cause!”
[EFFECT 1] books and beaches go hand-in-hand

[OPTION 2] “Those fiendish floaties!” exclaims overly dramatic environmentalist @@RANDOMNAME_2@@. “@@LEADER@@, you have to deploy a rescue mission to the shipwreck site to save our ocean’s wildlife immediately! These non-degradable toys pose a serious choking hazard to marine species, and they’ll continue posing threats for decades if they’re not cleaned up ASAP! Won’t you think of the animals!? That is, the living ones, not the plastic ones.”
[EFFECT 2] ducks have restraining orders on their rubber counterparts

[OPTION 3] "I can't believe how heartless you all are," interrupts the CEO of the shipping company responsible for the incident, @@RANDOMNAME_3@@. "We lost millions worth of product in the incident, and yet you won't think of our poor old company? The ducks aren't the problem here; they'll decompose eventually, even if it does take centuries. The real issue is our monetary losses, so I implore you, @@LEADER@@, please, reimburse us for this unfortunate incident." A carefully choreographed tear rolls down @@HIS@@ cheek.
[EFFECT 3] generous government handouts have made purposely sinking cargo ships a viable business strategy

[OPTION 4] Suddenly, a small boy carrying one of the rubber ducks in question runs in through your office door, which was apparently left unlocked. After introducing himself as @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, he chimes into the conversation. "Hey, @@LEADER@@, look what I found! These ducks are so fun to play with when I'm at the beach! I think you should give every kid in @@NAME@@ some toys so they can have fun playing with them, like me! Yay!” He runs back out the door, squeaking his rubber duck along the way.
[EFFECT 4] playtime is all the time

[TITLE] Duck Crossing
[DESCRIPTION] After a cargo ship carrying an assortment of bath toys sunk in the waters of @@NATION@@ a few days back, rubber ducks from the shipwreck have been consistently washing ashore on @@CAPITAL@@'s beaches. Citizens have barged into your office to discuss the situation.


[OPTION 1] "I was waiting on my balcony for the sun to rise over the water when a bright yellow duck obstructed my view!" yells oceanfront property owner @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ while reaching into her diamond-encrusted purse to pull out photographic evidence of the traumatizing incident. After forcefully placing down the photograph on your desk for you to see the laughably small rubber duck intruding on the sunset, she continues, "the government should send search teams to track down every last one of these rubber vermin and return the beaches to their normal, non-duck-infested state!"
[EFFECT 1] ducks are banned from @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ beaches


[OPTION 2] "Woah, woah," interjects renowned scientist and oceanographer @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "We're missing an opportunity for a scientific breakthrough here! Instead of interrupting these ducks' journeys across the waters of @@NATION@@, why not let them run their course?" @@HE@@ looks around the room triumphantly. After realizing that nobody has caught onto @@HIS@@ logic, @@HE@@ continues: "We know the location of the shipwreck. By tracking where the ducks end up around the coasts of @@NATION@@, we can also track the ocean currents that steered the ducks to their final destinations! It'll be cheaper and help out the scientific commun-"
[EFFECT 2] a nationwide scavenger hunt for decaying bath toys has begun


[OPTION 3] "I can't believe how heartless you all are," interrupts the CEO of the shipping company responsible for the incident, @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, who barged open your office door, knocking @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ to the ground. "We lost millions of product in the incident, and yet you won't think of our poor old company? The ducks aren't the problem here; they'll decompose eventually, even if it does take centuries. The real issue is our monetary losses, so I implore you, @@LEADER@@, please, reimburse us for this unfortunate incident." A carefully choreographed tear rolls down @@HIS@@ cheek.
[EFFECT 3] generous government handouts have made purposely sinking cargo ships a viable business strategy


[OPTION 4] A small boy carrying one of the rubber ducks in question runs into your office through the door left open by @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ and introduces himself as @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Hey, @@LEADER@@, look what I found! These ducks are so fun to play with when I'm at the beach! I think you should make all of those ugly CEO's ships sink so we can get more of these toys to play with! Yay!" He runs back out the door, squeaking his rubber duck along the way.
[EFFECT 4] cargo ships never seem to make it to @@CAPITAL@@ Port

[Baggieland]

I don't really know how @@THESETHINGS@@ work

You actually got all of @@THESETHINGS@@ correct, except for @@NATION@@, which should be @@NAME@@. I remember my first ever attempt and I got them all wrong!

Citizens have barged into your office to discuss the situation.

Please don't use this sentence. Some of the earlier issues did have lines like that, but we've moved on since then. It's obvious that people connected to the problem have come to the office to give their thoughts to LEADER. Your intro should just clearly state what is the problem.

Let's take a look at your content. A cargo of rubber ducks. My first reaction was that this is a poor attempt at being funny (others may disagree with me). Why not a cargo of oil? I don't know if an oil spill has been covered before or not, I'd be amazed if it hasn't.

Issue 521 is a bit all over the show, but mostly deals with the costs involved. So this draft is different enough from 521. We just need to find out if an oil spill has been covered before. (Trotters / Jutsa!). If it has already been covered, maybe you could look at a possible follow up to a spilt cargo -- I really like your 'let's follow the spilt cargo to better understand currents' angle.

[Verdant Haven]

Let's take a look at your content. A cargo of rubber ducks. My first reaction was that this is a poor attempt at being funny (others may disagree with me). Why not a cargo of oil? I don't know if an oil spill has been covered before or not, I'd be amazed if it hasn't.

If I had to guess, this is referencing the real life spill of rubber bath toys in the ocean, which were used to track ocean currents for years to come (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendly_Floatees)

Personally, I might try to make this link more evident (if indeed that scenario is what is being referenced). I might also move the scientist to the top respondent position, since that is real-world analogue here. I would have them emphasize the benefits of the research, but ask for something fancy in return, like commissioning them as captain of a new research vessel to track down the ducks maybe? Gotta have some kind of trade-off - just "this is the cheapest option and has the most benefits" makes it kind of an automatic click.

For the others, rather than the somewhat bizarre lady crying about a single duck blocking her view, maybe the clean-up request could be from an environmentalist who is worried about the fact that tens of thousands of non-biodegradable items were dumped in the ocean. That would play nicely against the CEO who counter-points that they'll go away... eventually. Both of those inputs work I think, but I worry about the fourth one, since the end result (ships getting sunk) is very similar, and it's hard to see why somebody would choose this other than trolling. If you want to distribute bath toys, just distribute them - no need to load up and then sink a ship to do it! Maybe the kid says you should commit the budget that would be used for the other options to instead just provide free toys to kids all over the country?

[Australian rePublic]

We can't assume that @@CAPITAL@@ has a coast line. That's a player autonomy no-no. Instead, I suggest using a coty which is already established as a coastal city- @@ANIMAL@@ City

[Viciebskaja]

Made a new draft of this with some of the suggestions I got!

[Candensia]

This is a rather creative idea, and it has promise. A few things.

I'd try to avoid @@NAME@@'s, as it gets wonky for nations ending in "s".

Also, I'd try to avoid non-dialogue interruptions in an option, unless you really deem it necessary.

For reference:

"This is my first sentence," says the speaker, while performing an action. "Now I shall continue speaking until my option is over."

"This is my first sentence," announces the speaker. "Now I shall continue to speak," says the speaker, pausing to carry out an action before continuing. "Now I shall continue speaking until my option is over."

The top style is normal convention, the bottom style is not. After introducing the speaker, I'd avoid interrupting dialogue, as it can become jarring. If you want to break dialogue after introducing a speaker, I'd recommend only doing so at the very end of an option.

[Barlyy]

The new draft seems promising, and I remember this happening in real life. I was interested in that, and I'm interested in this aswell.

[The Unified Missourtama States]

My problem with this is that rubber ducks aren't hard to clean up or immediately dangerous to the biosphere, unlike an oil spill.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

My problem with this is that rubber ducks aren't hard to clean up or immediately dangerous to the biosphere, unlike an oil spill.

Yes, I agree. Its otherwise a strong premise though, so maybe there could be some way to tweak the story so that they ARE harmful in some way? Maybe make them cheap Made in Daguo plastic tat that is releasing carcinogens into the water because of a weird reaction with ocean bacteria, or something like that?

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- What exactly do you want leader to do about it?

[Viciebskaja]

3rd draft is out!

I added the whole "toxic paint coating" thing to make the situation more urgent, but I'm not sure if I should make it a larger part of the issue (I'm not entirely sure how to add that if I wanted to without a full rewrite though, since the 1st option is already on the long side and I don't want to take anything out, and I don't expect the kid in option 4 to really care or know much about the whole toxicity component).

Also tried to change some of the wording to make it a bit more clear and less awkward.

[Baggieland]

bath toys sunk in the waters of @@NAME@@ a few weeks back

The waters of NAME could be a river or even a pond. I suggest making it "the sea off NAME".

discovered to be toxic to small marine species

Why just small species? Eventually the big species will eat the small species so the toxins will spread throughout the food chain.

Option 1 is way too long. Get the scissors out and give it a serious trim.

We lost millions worth of product in the incident

For nations that have existed for a long time - millions could be a drop in the ocean. Change it to a phrase that tells us a lot of money has been lost, such as: copious amounts of CURRENCYPLURAL.