[SUBMITTED] - Pushing the Envelope

[Candensia]

This is a departure from my usual topic-area. So this may work, or it may not.
First Draft

[DRAFT] - Pushing The Envelope

[The Issue] - Some of your stingier advisors have proposed cutting Dear @@TYPE@@, a government-funded pen-pal program between bureaucrats and @@CAPITAL@@-area elementary-schoolers.

[issuevalidity] - High Compassion. High Taxation.


[Option 1] - "@@LEADER@@, I know exactly what you’re thinking: how adorable!" beams Minister of Early Childhood Affection, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, her upbeat attitude shifting to a dangerously serious one as she sets her soul-piercing gaze upon you. "So listen up. What’s good for these bubbly bundles-of-joy is what’s good for @@NAME@@. If you cut this program, I will cut you...out of my life- I mean I’ll resign! Anyway, I know you have a heart, @@LEADER@@, so grant it an expansion instead."

[Effect] - spelling mistakes come at great cost to the nation


[Option 2] - "I hadn’t thought of factoring her departure into our savings," chimes in Bureau of Frugality Director @@RANDOMNAME@@ while giddily punching numbers into a calculator. "Yes, the program does tug at the heartstrings, but it’s also yanking at the purse-strings! The @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ we’d save by cutting it can still go to the kids, just in the form of something more useful, like say, spelling books. They better make 'em last, though."

[Effect] - elementary students are experts at spelling the word 'heartless'


[Option 3] - "I have an idea," interrupts unpaid intern @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These youngsters want to know what it’s like working for @@LEADER@@, right? So let’s have them come in for eight hour shifts on the weekdays- like me. I’m positive they can run papers between offices faster than I. It would be a valuable experience for them, and probably looks good on a résumé too."

[Effect] - the government officially refuses to eat its vegetables
[policychange] - Enacts Child Labour

Current Draft

[DRAFT] - Pushing The Envelope SUBMITTED 2/10/2019

[The Issue] - Some of your stingier advisors have proposed cutting Dear @@TYPE@@, a government-funded pen-pal program between bureaucrats and @@CAPITAL@@-area elementary-schoolers.

[issuevalidity] - High Compassion. High Taxation.


[Option 1] - "@@LEADER@@, I know exactly what you’re thinking: how adorable!" beams Minister of Early Childhood Affection, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, her upbeat attitude shifting dangerously serious as she sets a soul-piercing gaze upon you. "So listen here. What’s good for these bubbly bundles-of-joy is what’s good for @@NAME@@. If you cut my program, I will cut you...out of my life- I mean I’ll resign! Anyway, I know you have a heart, @@LEADER@@, so grant it an expansion instead."

[Effect] - career codebreakers lose sleep deciphering childish hieroglyphics


[Option 2] - "I hadn’t thought of factoring her departure into our savings," chimes in Bureau of Frugality Director @@RANDOMNAME@@ while giddily punching numbers into a calculator. "Yes, the program tugs at the heartstrings, but it’s also yanking at the purse-strings! The @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ we’d save by cutting it can still go to the kids, just in the form of something more useful, like say, spelling books. They better make 'em last, though."

[Effect] - elementary students are experts at spelling the word 'heartless'


[Option 3] - "I have an idea," interrupts unpaid intern @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These youngsters want to know what it’s like working for @@LEADER@@, right? So let’s have them come in for eight hour shifts on the weekdays- like me. I’m positive they can run papers between offices faster than I. It would be a valuable experience for them, and probably looks good on a résumé too."

[Effect] - the government officially refuses to eat its vegetables
[policychange] - Enacts Child Labour

[Far Tholk]

I like it a lot!

Could you explain the first effect line?

At the end of Option 2, "em'" should be ''em' (the apostrophe should go at the beginning), since it's a contraction of 'them.'

In Option 3, I would spell it 'résumé,' but I think that's a stylistic choice.

[Jutsa]

I will cut you...out of my life- I mean I’ll resign!

Yes, the program does tug at the heartstrings, but it’s also yanking at the purse-strings

Ironically, option 1 isn't very compassionate at all. Still, really nice-looking draft.
ed: glad to see an issue like this for nations with high compassion and high taxation, too;
especially where the compassionate option's offered by someone more aggressive!

[Candensia]

I like it a lot!

Could you explain the first effect line?

At the end of Option 2, "em'" should be ''em' (the apostrophe should go at the beginning), since it's a contraction of 'them.'

In Option 3, I would spell it 'résumé,' but I think that's a stylistic choice.

Thanks!

I’ve modified the draft accordingly.

I’m not too keen on Effect 1, or Effect 2 for that matter. I’ll be twisting stuff.

EDIT: @Jutsa, strange that Option 1 irony, eh?

[Far Tholk]

I‘m not too keen on Effect 1, or Effect 2 for that matter. I’ll be twisting stuff.

I actually think Effect 2 is pretty good. Just, the first one doesn't make sense to me; I don't see why spelling errors would be the cause of the cost. The pen-pal program itself I'm sure has a cost, in time and money, but the current Effect 1 isn't the best way to express that.

[Baggieland]

Nice issue!

I actually think Effect 2 is pretty good. Just, the first one doesn't make sense to me; I don't see why spelling errors would be the cause of the cost. The pen-pal program itself I'm sure has a cost, in time and money, but the current Effect 1 isn't the best way to express that.

Have to agree with Far Tholk here. Effect 2 is good, effect 3 is excellent, effect 1 not so good. Something to do with the wheels of government not turning until the kids have seen it? Sorry, it's early in the morning here and I don't have my thinking head on yet!

[Jutsa]

Get those wheels in your head turning, Baggie! I have faith in you!
Also yeah, if you're in Europe like I assume you are, it's really, really early in the mornin' for ya >__<
(could be wrong but I'm taking a guess here.)

Also sorry to veer off-topic but aside from that, I really don't have anything to add. It's good.

[Baggieland]

Get those wheels in your head turning, Baggie! I have faith in you!

No pressure! Nope, sorry, still early here

[Australian rePublic]

I never knew this program existed

[Candensia]

Thanks for the feedback, colleagues!

I’ve come up with some possible replacements for Effect 1. I’ll just throw them out.

[Effect] - career codebreakers lose sleep deciphering childish hieroglyphics

[Effect] - more money is spent deciphering childish hieroglyphics than on letter postage

[Far Tholk]

Thanks for the feedback, colleagues!

I’ve come up with some possible replacements for Effect 1. I’ll just throw them out.

[Effect] - career codebreakers lose sleep deciphering childish hieroglyphics

I love this one!

[Candensia]

Thanks for the feedback, colleagues!

I’ve come up with some possible replacements for Effect 1. I’ll just throw them out.

[Effect] - career codebreakers lose sleep deciphering childish hieroglyphics

I love this one!

Excellent.

I’ve updated the draft version.

Effect 1 has been replaced. I’ve also trimmed some wordiness out of option 1.

[Candensia]

Further comments are welcome.

[Candensia]

Feeling good about this one. I’ll mail it out in a few days time.

Last call.

[Candensia]

Draft mailed-in. Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck

[Far Tholk]

Good luck!