Sam Spade And The Mystery Of The Vanishing Offence
Posted by ruth_babe
Six deep into WBC17 qualifying, and it's time for us to face the distinct possibility that the Things won't make the playoffs. Remember the complaints about group stage wonkiness during WBC16? Well, they're nothing compared to what we're seeing here: only one group top seed is first in their group, and three of six are in the bottom half. We've heard the theories - QSPN blame it on umpiring, #balloffoot blame it on the international negroid conspiracy, Momoko Koumura blames it on Sakiko Wakabayashi being "a total idiot" - but, in the case of the Things, you don't need to go looking too deep.
At this stage, Quintessence of Dust has the best pitching staff in WBC17, outshining even the Nordics and Blue Jays. They've conceded 14 runs - fully half of that given up by the fabled Rockets staff (and yes, yes, we know, all of the runs Newmanistan has ever conceded and will ever concede can be attributed to bad calls - come on) - which puts them at 1st in the tournament. They've also won only 2 games - which puts them at 5th in the group, and at Nowheresville in the tournament.
Without Masami, without Django, and with two young twentysomething rookies, the Quodite pitchers have averaged a +1.0 run differential per game, worthy of a better record than 2-4: and the blame for that lies squarely with the offence. After battering allcomers during the WBC16, the Things' hitters have simply not come up with the runs to match their pitchers' abstemiousness.
The latest encounter saw Luke Moran hold Saugeais to 2 runs (0 earned, thanks to an error at first y Anna Alaja) on 4 hits and one walk, striking out 4; his relief came up with another four strikeouts while allowing only three runners, none scoring. Yet in response only two players (Ana Justina with a single and a double, and Natalia with two singles) managed to get hits, and only four got on base at all (Momoko and Huang drawing walks).
Two players in particular, Sakiko and Anna, have absolutely bombed this tournament: Anna, for example, has allowed more runners through errors at first than she has collected bases herself. Yet it is probably Sakiko who is in greater danger of being cut from the team, with Ben Zimmerman lurking on the sidelines as a replacement outfielder. Thus far, her only saving grace has been Zimmerman's equally abysmal form, still hitless despite six pinch hit/substitute appearances.
The simple fact is, if the Things don't start scoring some runs soon it won't matter how many times their pitchers choke the opponents' output: they will lose games, we will fail to make the playoffs, and the mother of all inquests will be called for.
- Comments: 192
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168. Posted by mizu_michu
Why did you name this article after one of the batters who's actually doing OK?