(AND YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO THE DECIDING VOTE WAS)
November 25th 2014
The Homosexual Law Reform Bill - a bill that has triggered violent protests and riots up and down the country - has passed its third and final reading by the narrowest of margins in the House of Peasants, with the bill coming down to a single vote.
LGBT rights activists celebrate after the House of Peasants votes in favour of decriminalising homosexuality.
The bill, which has been the most divisive and polarising issue faced by Alizerians in over 50 years, abolishes the ten year jail sentence for people caught practising homosexuality and in effect legalises it. The bill was voted down by the House of Clergy, but has now been approved by both the House of Nobles and House of Peasants and King Nikolas II has indicated that he will sign it into law.
Mandy Popham, head of the Alizerian Gay and Lesbian Alliance, wept tears of joy outside of Parliament following the successful passage of the bill as she held her lover, Abigail Brady
"This is a giant leap forward for Alizeria, and a great day for LGBT rights," She said. "Gay people in Alizeria have faced centuries of persecution and discrimination. For the first time ever, it is safe for people like me... people like us... to come out of the closet."
In its final reading in the House of Peasants, the vote tally had the Homosexual Law Reform Bill as a dead heat, due to the high number of abstentions from MPs who had previously supported the bill, but were afraid to support it openly due following a campaign of petitions organised by lobby group The Family Values Institute.
That was until, in a dramatic final moment that left jaws on the floor on both sides of the debate, none other than former Prime Minister Sir Edward Vermile crossed the floor and voted in favour of the bill.
There was disbelief on all sides as Sir Edward - who only a few months ago had run a notorious election campaign deriding "queers and niggers" - became the only Conservative MP to vote for the bill.
"I was planning to vote against the bill, but then I saw James Richardson vote against it and suddenly realised I was on the wrong side of history," The visibly drunk former Prime Minister said outside of Parliament, although he went on to add "Actually no it was because someone farted and that side of the chamber smelled terrible."
Conservative Party Chief Whip Wilson Bethel however suggested that Sir Edward was in fact too drunk to find the side of the room where the 'no' votes were being tallied and would have voted down the bill had he been sober.
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Bethel said that, despite there being a three-line whip requiring members of the Conservative Party to vote against the bill, he would not be punishing Sir Edward.
"He was Alizeria's longest serving Prime Minister. Good luck to anyone who wants to stand in the way of Sir Edward Vermile - frankly, I plan to live." He said.
The sudden change of heart is just one final twist in the long and complicated history of the notorious Sir Edward, who left Parliament only to find himself become an overnight folk hero to members of the LGBT community, several of whom descended upon him at the steps of Parliament to greet him with hugs and cheers.
"Just because I voted to let you folk live whatever lifestyle you want to live doesn't mean I'm planning to join the club," He said, looking slightly uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Anthony Ashton - who has so far not spoken publicly on the controversial bill, but whose quiet support has said to have been crucial to its success - finally made a statement following its passage.
"This is a great day for the very small number of people in Alizeria who happen to be gay," He said. "But for the rest of us... life goes on. It doesn't affect us. And we need to look past these sideshows and distractions and concentrate on the real issues that affect all of us - issues like jobs, the deficit and tax reform."
When asked if Alizeria was likely to follow in the steps of other countries, and allow gay marriage, the Prime Minister said that he "highly doubted Alizerians are ready for that."
Opposition leader Jim Humphries has said that it will be a priority of the Conservative Party to repeal the bill should they be elected to govern.
"The next general election will be a referendum on homosexuality," He said. "This isn't over. The Liberal government has once again ignored the wishes of the vast majority of Alizerians to pursue its ideological agenda. They have once again trampled all over the moral fabric of our small country. This will not be ignored."
Father Gordon O'Hare, head of The Family Values Institute, was not available for comment.
The bill, controversial in a small country with a reputation for stuffy conservatism, triggered protests and even riots as it proceeded through Parliament, as supporters and opponents of the bill often clashed in the streets of major cities.
Most of the activity has subsided and is expected to die off completely over the next few days.
- ADH
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