World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

[Commune-PDTv2]

The victory over The Democratic Republic of Mizuyuki was a hollow one for Beta. All the time, inside himself, he was painfully aware of the Xylovitian parasite. The parasite had bored it's way into his spinal cord and now fully aware of all his conscious decisions. If he so much as thought about telling anyone or mused over methods to rid himself of it, he felt his chest begin to tighten. There was no escape from complying with the plant's demands. At times, he was unsure whether he was in full control of his sanity. 'Give me what I want' echoed through his mind like a sinister whisper and sometimes he was certain he was conversing with Xylovitus sub-consiously.

He lay upon his bed, breathing slowly

"Give me what I want"
"What?! Who?!"

Sitting bolt upright, He saw the room was empty. Fucking plant ... Then a slight pain in his chest.

"Yes, I know you can hear me!"
"Beta ... "

The ghostly voice again.

"Beta ... why are you not endeavoring to discover my identity?"
"It's late. Leave me alone."
"Do you want to die, Beta?"
"No ... but tonight, I cannot. I will obtain the files in the morning."
"You think that you can lie to me?"
"I'm not lying. The research facility is closed now."
"You know the scientists are still there. I know that you know."
"They are working, they mustn't be disturbed."
"Must they not?"

Beta doubled over and groaned in agony as the constriction within his chest begun again.

"No! Arrrgghh! I am in control ... I ... hngh! I ... am in ... Arrggghh! ... control!!"
"You cannot resist me!"
"I ... am ... in ... "

Beta was beginning to lose consciousness but still he fought the survival instinct to obey the voice in his head.

"You are dying Beta. I can feel it. I hear your fear, your anxiety ... "
"... I ... AM ... I... Hngh! ... IN ... IN ... AARRGH! ... CONTRO..."

With a gargantuan effort, Beta flung himself from his bed and struck the fire alarm just as his heart gave up trying to continue to beat. He crumbled against the wall, curled in a foetal position and breathing shallowly. The alarm shrieked from somewhere else in the building and he could just make out the sounds of panic in the corridor as people rushed to escape the apparent fire. He felt a trickle of blood ooze from his mouth, he couldn't be certain but assumed the parasite had pierced his lungs also.

"Beta, Beta, Beta ... What have you done? ... All I wanted was my identity, but you'd rather give your life?"

Everything was darkening around him, all exterior sounds beginning to fade and strange feeling of calm was beginning to settle over him. He closed his eyes and just thought to himself for his final few seconds. He knew Xylovitus was listening. He wanted him to listen.

"Just you wait plant, just you wait ... "

And Beta's reality dissipated to nothingness.

[The Sovan Antithesis]

ALL HAIL MARGRET

Oath? Check. Here is our schedule:

1. @ Karditan
L 1-3
2. Jedi8246
W 3-2
3. @ Saintland
L 2-5
4. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
W 3-2
5. @Sondstead
W 3-2
6. Aquitayne
W 4-3
7. @Sangti
8. @Narsora
9. Wight
10. Karditan
11. @Jedi8246
12. Saintland
13. @The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
14. Sondstead
15. @Aquitayne
16. Sangti
17. Narsora
18. @Wight

3 way tie for the lead in our group guys. This is getting intense. We could actually take sole possession of the lead if the other 2 teams lose! We face Sangti next, who is mired near the bottom with a 2-2-2 record. We are having good offensive numbers, though, scoring 2.3 goals per game and 3.3 in our last 3 starts. This is partly thanks to the star of the Aquitayne game, 15584, who got the hat trick after goals in the 15th, 30th and 45th minute. In the 60th minute, 9718 scored the eventual game-winning goal. Aquitayne had not posted a roster, so their nameless players scored in the 5th, 33rd and 58th minute.

We now present you, the daily census ranking for our group. Today, public transportation.

1. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (99)
2. Sondstead (81)
3. Saintland (58)
4. Aquitayne (51)
5. The Sovan Antithesis (30)
6. Wight (19)
7. Sangti (7)
8. Karditan (-23)
9. Jedi8246 (-43)
10. Narsora (-47)

And the running tally (10 for first, 9 for 2nd, etc.):
1. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (35)
2. Karditan (34)
3. Sondstead (33)
4. Wight (29)
5. Jedi8246 (27)
5. Narsora (27)
7. Aquitayne (26)
8. Sangti (23)
8. The Sovan Antithesis (23)
8. Saintland (23)

[Apox]

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

Wight Spit was chaotic, it seemed like every time George visited the place he grew less accustomed to it rather than the opposite. However, how he was ever going to find Sir Richard Marshall amongst the noise and pestilence of Wight Spit, Búa only knows. He and Victor had alighted from there bus service near to Teril's house, as they had reason to think that they would find Sir Richard there. However, reaching that strange crazy street, they were disappointed to find that Sir Richard wasn't in sight.

However, they were greeted by the eager figure of Teril, who came running out of his house to greet them,

"I say chaps!" he exclaimed, running up to them, "I found someone for your mission thing." George raised an eyebrow and let Teril continue.

"It's an almost, fresh in not two weeks ago, Chris Maarsden he's called," George McLaren now had both eyebrows raised, he knew of Chris Maarsden, "Injured whilst playing an international game against some Polar Islandstates or something!" screeched Teril, clearly way too excited.

"But that's great news Teril!" said Victor, beaming, "Where can we find him?"

"Why my good boy, I've already sent him off packing back to the old Rose & Thistle! He'll be arriving any minute!" This as important, and frankly Sir Richard could wait to find out about Victor playing when they had an international superstar ready to play for them. Well, almost a superstar. George and Victor thanked Teril for all his work, before heading back to the bus station, to go back to where they'd just came from. It was heating up in Wight.

Team Sheet from the Match
GK - Will Hewitt
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Fronden Abel
CD - Dan Weekes
LD - Jennie Scott
RM - Olim Benzari (c) sub Fari Y 70'
DM - Matthias Sindelar sub John Carpenter 56'
CAM - Jack Moses
LM - Sammie Puskas
CF - Marlon Vetta
ST - Keri Ularu

[Sangti]

MARGRET?
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

Sangti (281) vs. The Sovan Antithesis (315)
World Cup 65 Qualifying Group 16
Nuevo Campamento, Gabel, Sangti

For those of you who believe in Margret, or even worship her (is she even a god?), now is the time to say that I don't believe in Margret. Or do I?

The last question pertained to Sangti's performance against bottom, unranked Narsora team. Actually, both teams' performance was, in no certain painful, insulting and devastating words, unwatchable. There was only one goal scored by Marvick Sor 4 minuted before halftime, a match that I would say, that Jastin Biber commercials are much much better to watch than the ENTIRE GAME! But really, Sangti is still in eighth. (They were eighth at Matchday 2, and STILL they are eighth entering this matchday.)

GROUP 16			MD1	MD2	MD3	MD4	MD5	MD6	
Wight				1	1	1	1	1	1
Jedi8246			4	6	6	7	3	2
The Sovan Antithesis		8	7	7	6	2	3
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec	5	5	3	3	5	4
Saintland			2	2	2	2	4	5
Karditan 			3	3	4	4	6	6
Sondstead			6	4	5	5	7	7
Sangti				7	8	8	8	8	8
Aquitayne			9	9	9	9	9	9
Narsora				10	10	10	10	10	10

Now, for the Margret believers who believe that there can be a miracle of Margaretian proportions, there are three reasons why they should pack their bags, leave the Sangtian Republic, and cry over their loss.

1. Sangti is unbeaten at home. Or at the qualifiers. For some reason, the 0-2 loss against Gaveo was apparently a home match, while either camp agreed that is is an away match. However, besides that, I cannot see any game that Sangti lost. The record of Sangti at home? 1-1-0, the most impressive result was against Saintland, a match that everyone expected a loss for us. Maybe we can thank Margret for that, but now, no.

2. Sangti is unbeaten in three games. And three straight clean sheets. 2-0 against Sondstead, 0-0 against Aquitayne (that should have been a win dammit!) and a 1-0 win against Narsora. With Sangti in a good run and TSA losing their last match, the Agilang Dilaw has the momentum.

3. This group is tight. Sangti is only 4 points behind leaders Wight, and, I repeat. We Are Eighth. In addition, TSA is ranked lower than Sangti. So All Hail Margret? No, no, no.

So for visiting fans in Gabel, expect a cracker of a match, and I will really hope that shades of Margret will not cast a shadow on the match. Viva del Sangti!

AN APPEAL TO THE PUBLIC

Rumors are persisting that I have an infatuation over Nova Hellstrom. Yes she is hot, well, (cause she is a b****) but I admire her for her straightforward thinking, leading to this article about blasting the Margret worshippers. But this admiration is no equal to infatuation. My boss understand that, even if he is a dickhead and a dork. So, to make things clear. I love yearn admire Nova Hellstrom. End of story.

(The Lonely Multiverse will take a break and will resume at the next issue.)

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

Islands of Qutar Quit After A Long Game

25th June 12013

---

Fligsive, THE INEVITABLE SYNDICATE---- In the 6th Match of the World Cup Qualifying, The Syndicate played the host in a game against The Islands of Qutar. A tough and tricky opponent, so we thought, but this picture that had been painted of them seemed to be a forgery, as we dominated them 3-0.

The game started with a bang, as our guests kicked off and showed an impressive display of short passes, and close-knit team tactics that would stun the greatest of teams. However, it seems the home crowd got to the morale of the opponent, and within minutes the game was back in the hands of the Syndicate. A few shots at goal later, we were celebrating our first goal of the match after Ethan Sinclair put away a tidy one, that saw the crowd erupt into a thunderous applause that shook the Flynn Arena. Not one to take things lying down, the Islands rallied their forces and went on the offensive, with some key attacking plays that were luckily shut down at the last minute by our famous defence. Twenty-four minutes in, we got our mojo back, after Jay Robinson created a space for the ball to leap into, and scored with an amazing header that would probably give Dean Prinns (Starblaydi Goalkeeper, for those out of the loop) a heart attack. After the first half, the score was 2-0 to the Syndicate.

The second half for a few more reaches at the goal by the opposing side, including a risky corner that Archer just managed to prevent from sailing into the goal. It seemed that the Islands of Qutar weren't going to give up, and good on them, as it takes a lot of gall to not play dead when you're down on your luck. Play after play after play was made by both sides, but even past the hour mark, no team was making up any more ground.

It remained this way for an extra nine minutes, until Luke Mitchell broke the silence and hammered the final nail into the coffin with a lucky goal that was very close to being called offside. This really seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back for the opponent, and during the rest of the game, passes were a lot slower and a bit more sluggish. They seemed to hold on to the ball for as long as possible, in an effort to prevent the Syndicate from scoring any more goals. Of course, it worked, and by the time the 90th minute clocked around, the score was still three nil. In the reminaing three minutes of extra time, the Syndicate went for another shot at the goal, but unfortunately it fell apart towards the end, sending the ball flying right back towards the Qutari attack. This came a little too late, though, as by the time they got towards the goal, the match was over.

The Inevitable Syndicate
:: Goalscorers ::
:: '16 Ethan Sinclair
:: '24 Jay Robinson
:: '69 Luke Mitchell
The Islands of Qutar
:: Goalscorers ::
:: N/A None

This win has proved to be a great boon, and has pushed up to 5th from 6th. The Islands of Qutar have slipped down to 7th. This still isn't where we want to be, and hopefully a win against Carmadin on the next matchday will allow us to leapfrog them and hop up the table.

-----  Group 20                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1  Equestrian States                    6    4   2   0    16    6  +10    14
 2  Bears Armed                          6    4   1   1    14    8   +6    13
 3  Sudagiu                              6    3   2   1    13    9   +4    11
 4  Carmadin                             6    3   1   2    14    9   +5    10
 5  The Inevitable Syndicate             6    3   1   2    11    7   +4    10
 6  Brenecia                             6    3   1   2     8    9   −1    10
 7  The Islands of Qutar                 6    2   2   2     7    8   -1     8
 8  Free Republics                       6    2   0   4     9    9    0     6
 9  Tantamir                             6    0   2   3     5   10   −5     2
10  Omarios                              6    0   0   6     2   19  −17     0

Freddie Johnson
ILN Sports

[Kinitaria]

A History of Kinitar Football in Eighteen Objects
Six: The whistle

Football was becoming an organised sport in Kinitaria. It had previously had rules and a governing body, of course, as well as two league competitions - 'factions' might be better terms for them - but it was now truly taking form. The sport known as football by approximately 3365 was one which the observant time-traveller might recognise as demonstrably the same sport, played under much the same conditions and with the same rules as we know it today. It wasn't exactly the same, naturally - two points for a win, leather balls, terraces and woollen kits are what many people would point to as evidence of the era, as well as a lack of modern-day 'luxuries' such as TV cameras, replica kits, and seats. The game was also different in notable and unexplored ways which, while not obvious at first sight, certainly played their own part in the early days of the Kinitar game.

A notable difference to the game as played today would be the power of the referee. Or, indeed, referees. While the modern rule book holds up the referee as an enforcer of the rules, a neutral arbiter, the man in the middle was seemingly advised to take the initiative rather than follow any existing guidelines. There are many cases of referees enforcing their own, often rather arbitrary, brand of authority on a variety of games in the developing stages of Kinitar football. It was very rare for them to be consistent, for that matter.

In one particular match, a 3366 Federation Cup second round match between Paleu and Seliste, bad light was on the horizon. Seliste, the visitors and significant underdogs, had turned up with only ten players owing to injury (again, imagine that happening in a modern game). With Paleu 2-1 up, half an hour left on the clock, and the sun just about to set (no floodlights in these days, remember), Seliste were asking that the game be abandoned. Under Federation rules at the time, an abandoned cup tie would be replayed at the ground of the team who was away for the original game. As such, Seliste could sense an unexpected windfall, if only they could get the game abandoned. Paleu disputed this, claiming that they had the lead, they were likely to go on to win, and should the game have to be abandoned, it should be awarded to them by right. Remember, the game was stopped while the two sides were arguing their respective cases to the match official - there were no Federation appeals in those days. Eventually, with the crowd getting quite impatient, the referee, showing all the insight of King Solomon (in his own mind, at least), ruled that the game would be completed as normal, but would only count as a friendly, not a cup-tie. This was about as well-received as it sounds like it would be. The Federation, for their part, were not pleased at being left with the mess to sort out, but did make a point to praise the official in question for showing some initiative.

Referees coming into conflict with the Federation seems to be a theme that crops up quite a lot in the early era of football. We can look at a game in the Northern League between Vanuku and Tirinthea for another glimpse at this strange dynamic. Paolo Kuničev was scheduled to officiate this game, but when kick-off time rolled around, he was nowhere to be seen. His two assistants were there, but there was no sign of the main man himself. Ten minutes went by, and still nothing, so the two assistants decided that they would take control of the game themselves. Tirinthea, the dominant force of the early Northern League, found themselves 2-0 up within the first 25 minutes, and pushing for more goals. That's when the elusive Mr. Kuničev finally showed up, already in his referee's kit. At the next stoppage of play, he had a brief discussion with the assistants to determine the state of play, and promptly took over in the middle.

Problem solved, with a blemish next to the ref's name in his file at the Federation, you would assume. Not so. The 45 minute mark came around with Tirinthea having fully asserted their dominance, and going 3-1 to the good by that point. But play carried on. The referee, it seemed, had decided to use the recent decision to allow added time, and really push that new law to its limit. The half-hour before he had showed up was not considered as played, and half an hour of additional time would be added to the first half. By the end of this half-hour, the score was 5-1. After the second half, which lasted the regulation 45 minutes, Tirinthea had won 8-2. On this occasion, the Federation were most certainly irritated, and struck off Tirinthea's two goals from before the errant official showed up, leaving them with an official win of 6-2. It didn't really affect anything, as they went on to win the league by a margin of four points.

Sometimes, though, the Federation were happy not only to sanction referees' spur-of-the-moment decisions, but to adopt them as their own policy. Another Federation Cup match, this time between Mi'ato and Isla Rosa, brought with it a hearty dose of controversy when the game reached extra time with the scores deadlocked at 0-0. You may remember that Federation policy in the event of a drawn cup match was to carry on until one team scored. This had already happened. The first game between the two had finished 2-2 after 90 minutes, and was still 2-2 after some 240 minutes, when the game was abandoned owing to bad light. As such, there would be a replay on the Isla Rosa, which was again level after regulation time had expired, and no goals could be found in two further hours of football, before bad light stopped play again. The game in question, the one in which the controversy arises, was actually the third game between the two teams. The Federation were getting somewhat impatient, as for a game to go to a second replay under their system was certainly unforeseen, and it was also holding up the schedule for the rest of the competition (the second round should theoretically have been played already). After letting the two teams play out yet another two hours (that's 2-2 after 90 minutes and no goals in the next seven hours of football, if you're keeping track), the game was abandoned for a third time.

Rather than order the teams back to Isla Rosa for an unprecedented third replay, the referee called the two captains together, produced a coin from his pocket, and explained that the team whose captain called the toss right would go through to the second round. Marko Selire, the Isla Rosa captain, called correctly, sending his exhausted team through to the second round of the competition, where their reward would be an 8-0 thrashing at the hands of a Serenberg side who were noticeably fresher and significantly better rested than the minnows. But did the Federation disapprove of the referee's avant-garde style of officiating? Far from it. They adopted it as part of their official guidelines. From that point on, any cup tie which twice went into extra time and twice had to be abandoned due to bad light would be decided on the toss of a coin. Such a situation was thought impossible even before the events between Mi'ato and Isla Rosa, and was still considered exceptionally unlikely, and with good reason. The coin toss would never be used again, although it remained officially part of the Federation's rulebook for decades. As such, Mi'ato retain the dubious honour of being the only team in Kinitaria to ever be eliminated from a competition on the toss of a coin.

By about 3375, the Federation desired to see itself as the sole governing body of Kinitar football. The Northern League was never permitted to have an official say in the rules of the game - powers that rested jointly with the Federation and the Alliance, as per their earlier agreement. This was, of course, an agreement that no-one was happy with, and so the Federation called joint talks between the Alliance and the Northern League. The stated aim of these talks was to bring the two leagues to a sort of mutual co-existence, respecting each other's right to exist on more or less equal terms. A part of this was, naturally, that both leagues had to have relatively equal power with regards to the laws of the game, and as the Federation was mediating these talks, they were able to put forward their own proposals. After weeks of complex negotiation, a deal was eventually thrashed out that gave both leagues a powerful advisory voice with regards to decisions on the laws - but this was still only advisory. Final decision-making power now rested exclusively with the Federation, who held a grip on power that they would eventually prove reluctant to ever cede.

But, having brought the leagues under control, it seems that the next target of the Federation was the referees. The exact cause for this remains unclear, but it is likely that the Federation believed that referees making their own, often wildly inconsistent, decisions on procedural matters imposed on their jurisdiction to a degree that they were not comfortable with. "The role of the referee," wrote then-Federation president, Yuri Kuzmenov, in 3378, "should be to enforce the Federation's laws, and not to determine them." This is certainly the line the Federation followed over the next few years, with a number of directives intended to bring the officials back under Federation control. The most significant of these was probably a 3380 decision that a referee's jurisdiction extended only "as far as the playing field" - they were not permitted to make decisions with regard to the structure of a competition, for instance. Nor were they permitted to deviate from the Laws of the Game; something which seems incredibly obvious to modern ears, and yet was the cause of incidents such as those two mentioned above.

The Federation's desire to control its officials may have also encouraged its unorthodox experimentation with the way games were refereed in the first place. Video replays and additional assistants may be modern ideas, but the spirit of the debate has been with us for over a century. The structure of two assistants and one referee has always been the standard (the fourth official wouldn't be introduced until later), but the Federation certainly had their own ideas to improve on the system. A special friendly was organised in 3381, for instance, between Vanuku and Kasmenai (two mid-level sides, as might make for a regular game during the Northern League season), which would be officiated by two referees, one in each half of the field, and one assistant, to arbitrate between the two. The result (4-2 to Kasmenai) is recorded in historic media; somewhat surprisingly, comments on the officials' performance is not, although whatever it was, it wasn't enough to encourage the Federation to continue with further trials. They also had the idea, the next year, of matches in which referees would work a lot like cricket umpires, only having to rule on a decision if one team or the other appealed. This, predictably, worked about as well as you think it would, and both ideas were quietly consigned to the dustbin of history.

This was it, Kinitar football had reached the point at which a modern observer would recognise the game as very similar to the one which is enjoyed all across the multiverse today. It was an internally self-supporting and self-consistent system, and it may have been this which ended up making it stubbornly resistant to change. But they were about to find out that the world was changing around them, and it was going to take the game of football with it, whether those inside the game liked it or not.

[Barunia]

BaruniainSports.com.bu

Suns fight back to draw in Maplitesh
By Kitty Smith

The Barunian Suns staged a second-half comeback to draw Maplitesh at home. The Barunians struggled to get the ball to the forwards in the first half, but some excellent work for Mic Willans kept the Maplish strikers from scoring.

Shortly after the break Junio scored for Maplitesh, Willans caught out of position after attempting to stop a shot from Di Natile that ricocheted off the crossbar. Millet couldn't stop Junio from getting on to the rebound, and the Maplitesh captain got the tap-in. Coach Wiggens responded by sending Zokora in for Cedric St. John, in hat proved to be an excellent move. Just six minutes after coming on, Zokora scored the Sun's first goal after a perfect set up by Victor Castolo. Trying for a run in on goal, Castolo was caught up against the post with a defender in the way. With no chance of scoring, he passed out of the bix to Zokora, who hammered a flat shot home that caught Maplish keeper Sapphire Avalon by surprise.

Castolo then decided to pick up one for himself. Giving the ball from Centena, he hammered up the field, side stepping several defenders and fired a shot in at goal.
Alessandra Vito tried to stop it, but only succeeded in deflecting it out of Avalon's reach and into the goal. There wasn't much time for celebration though, as the Maplitesh Lions came back to level the score after a cross from Jessie Leons found Ai Jing in the centre. And that was the game. As promised, here's some more player biographies.

Gregory Plant
Now into his third season at Porthaven United, Gregory has continued to be an impressive attacking midfielder. He has an aggressive style and will always fight hard to win back the ball. He does have a tendency though to go to hard and foul, though not too often. He has excellent ball control skills and can work his way around defenders before passing off to forwards or shooting himself, as he has one of the most powerful kicks on the team.

Horatio Montoya
A former player of the Western Orcas, Montoya now plays in the Equestrian States. He favours a lobbed pass , and will attempt to play forwards into scoring positions by passing the ball over the defenders' heads. Montoya has a high jump and excellent heading ability, and is dangerous when in the box during a set play.

Cedric St. John
Cedric is a flamboyant player, known as much for his long hair and headband as for his explosive and dynamic style. He is surely on of the fittest players on the team, as he is constantly running from end to end during a game as the possession changes. St. John recently signed to Icemark league favourites Frostmarris.

Harry Centena
Having led the Suns for part of the WC64 campaign, Centena has officially been given the captaincy for this year's World Cup. He is an experienced leader, as he also captains the Tildos Ravens. Known as one of the gentlemen of the league, he very rarely finds himself in the referee's book. Playing right in the centre of the midfield, he provides the vital link between the defenders and attackers with good passing skills and well-judged through-balls.

Bhara
Raised on the remote Tildos island of North Coral Island, Bhara hadn't even seen a game of football until he was eighteen, when he played his first game at a sports day programme run by the National Sports Authority on Trinity. Spotted as a natural talent, he was offered a place on the programme, where he developed his skills. After receiving offers from many Champion's league clubs, he chose to play for the Tildos Ravens. A player with all-round skills, Bhara is not afraid to challenge players for the ball and forms the first line of defence for the Suns.

Yohan Marris
The leading goal scorer for West Bay Mariners, at just eighteen Marris is one of the stars of the future. He is a fast runner, and often will charge into the box to meet a cross, leaving defenders in his wake. Especially dangerous with the head or mid-air volley, Marris has combined with Johnathon Haynes to make on of the most dynamic sporting duos in BFL history.

Johnathon Haynes
Johnathon Haynes has a powerful left foot, which he uses to send long crosses into the box. In most games for West Bay, he will connect with Marris for a deadly combination. He plays out wider than most other players on the national team, but has been surprisingly effective.

That's all for now, I'll try and finish these bio's off next week. Barunia has kept the second spot on the table, after Mantwenic lost to ASMV, making Andossa se Mitrin Vega one of only three teams in the whole of the qualifying groups to win all their matches. Maklohi Vai are now in third place, just three points behind Barunia, and we will face them next week. Another defensive team, they represent a strong challenge for the Suns. However, the team believe that they can win this, and are ready for the showdown at Northport SC. I'll be there covering the action as always, and cheering on Barunia. Go Suns!

[Aels]

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Starblaydia

Arefev says players must regroup

Starblaydia 2
Aels 0

THERE can be little doubt that Aels are on a slide of sorts. After the 5–1 thrashing of IOM Sports Association, which remains the team's only win so far this qualifying campaign, the proverbial foot has been taken off the proverbial gas.

Even the captain, the most exalted of players, one Elwyn James Richard CA, seems to have lost his magic touch when it comes to inspiring his teammates to an unlikely result.

Defender Iwan Maddox, a five-time Aelsh league winner with Pentref-ar-y-Bae, suggests some younger players haven't been able to cope with the expectation and pressure of representing Aels.

"You only need to look around the place to know that there's some disquiet in the team. Not with the coaching staff or with each other, it must be said, but this whole 'we're only looking forward' thing is easier for some than others. Some of the younger lads around us do dwell on past performances and it's starting to show in the dressing room and starting to become contagious.

"Elwyn's a lovely guy and he's brilliant on the pitch and off it but even he's powerless to stop this. It's completely up to those who're struggling with the pressure to admit it, come forward and maybe spend some time on the bench. It's becoming a major issue on the pitch."

To be fair to whoever Maddox may be referring to (and indeed sections of the media and the supporter base have already taken to speculating), perhaps the latest result was to be expected anyway. Indeed, manager Sergey Arefev said after the match that he was pleased to have come away from Starblaydia having only conceded twice, keeping the team's goal difference respectable despite having fallen to ninth in the table.

"Look, we came here expecting to be absolutely tonked around the park and we've come away with a scoreline that shows the amount of hard work we put into the match. Starblaydia are an excellent side, they're sixth in the world, and unfortunately today we conceded twice and let Natrionne have fun in front of goal."

However, Arefev was considerably less forthcoming when asked if some players faced the chop for the upcoming home match against Legalese.

"I don't think I'm prepared to give that kind of information out in a press conference. I'm not going to go around announcing my starting eleven and the formation they'll be playing in, will I? We'll go back to training and regroup for the upcoming set of fixtures, it's what we need to do now and I'll ensure that happens."

Speculation has been rife that 19-year-old centre-half Owen Griffiths will make way for the more experienced Owain Howells, but Maddox played the suggestion down.

"Owen and I play together at the back for the Bay (Pentref-ar-y-Bae) and we link up well internationally too. I don't believe what I read online on some of the news sites and fan boards, it's all to be taken with quite a large pinch of salt."

Match ratings: J McConnell 6.5, R Jones 6.8, O Griffiths 5.9, I Maddox 6.6, S Andrews 7.0, C O'Connor 6.6, R Evans (vc) 7.0, A Jones 6.8, M Powell 6.9, B Thomas 7.4, E Richard (c) 7.2; Subs: HJ Edwards 7.1 (for S Andrews), R Dougal 6.7 (for O Griffiths)
Bookings: None
Goals: None

[Svengarda]

The four days between the WSGFK and the trial went by in a flash, and before I knew it, the day was upon me. The endless sheet of clouds had finally rolled off the island and we got a bit of sunshine. Unusual for June. It was about 5 degrees outside, so still not properly warm, but warm enough to be comfortable (you get used to low temperatures when you live up here).

Dad was out at work, and mum had to run some errands into town, so it was just me making my way to the Stormskamer FCK All-Weather Pitch in the heart of the grey city. I caught the bus at the end of my street and sat in silent contemplation by the window. If I performed well in this trial, I could have a shot at playing in the national side. That was everyone's ambition, but only a select handful even got to have a go.

The first thing that struck me as I approached the trial was the gender of the candidates, I'd be playing against guys. However, it was one girl who stood out from all the rest. 6ft 5" with long blonde hair tied up in a pony-tail. She was apparently 800m and 1500m Champion in the U20 category, and was clearly a gifted athlete.

It became more apparent when we started to doing some basic drills. She beat everyone in every exercise and did it without even breaking a sweat. When we moved onto defence-vs-attack drills, she flattened me every time we went for the ball, be it in the air or on the ground. One time I did manage to wriggle away from her and slot home a cross into the bottom right-hand corner of the goal. Apart from that I did nothing spectacular, and it was clear that all the scouts were watching her, as opposed to any one else.

We then split into full matches, and thankfully she was drawn on my side. The opposition goalkeeper was tricky to get past, but eventually one of my curling crosses found the head of an attacker and broke the deadlock. The 40-minute game finished a resounding 4-1 to our team, with the athlete netting two, despite being a central defender: she was simply unmarkable in the box.

I managed to slip into a social group of girls from our rival school, and when I was asked where I attended, I lied through my teeth. I couldn't pull off an impression of some rich private school girl, so I just went back in my memory to some school we'd trashed at football. So bad in fact, that as soon as I said it, one of them said "ha, they're rubbish at football", and I shiftily agreed.

After lunch, we we're split up into "skill groups" which were focused on different positions and the skills associated with those positions. In my group were all the wingers and attacking midfielders, and only two girls out of 11 of us. We did sprinting and agility drills, as well as a drill where the winger would cross the ball into the area and try and hit various cones set up in places around the box. After about an hour of this, I heard whispers about two "Development groups", which would basically be those who had a chance and those who didn't. We'd have to wait and see...

[Cassadaigua]

Flu bug affects starting lineup; offense picks up slack
by Adrienne Geraci

Well, in my last blog, I talked about Lauren Kearns amazing shutout streak in goal, lasting 433 minutes, before conceding a late goal to Magnustan. What would Lauren do for an encore? How long would her next streak last? We never had a chance to figure that out as Lauren was one of five regular starters who did not play in the game against Soviet Canuckistan due to contracting the flu, myself being another. It’s been going around in parts of Cassadaigua lately, as temperature fluctuations have been much more dramatic over the last couple weeks. Even professional athletes, with a world class training squad overseeing their health are not immune to these viruses that anyone can pick up. We did all have a flu shot at the beginning of the year, but our training staff believes it was not the proper vaccination for the particular strand of the virus that has seen several people in Cassadaigua get sick. It was pretty hard having to watch this game, because not only do you want to be out there and playing just for yourself, but given that we had many young players out there on the pitch, as the captain, I really felt as though I needed to be out there and help the young players along. I’m feeling a little better this morning, still not 100%, but we are all hoping to be better in time for our next game.

If you watched the game, you are aware of the lineup changes that were necessary, but in case you need a refresher, or were not able to watch the match; myself, Lauren Kearns, Kirsten Kenney, Erica Kunes, and Ashlee Spillane were unable to play. Substitute defender Jessica Gratton was also sick, so unfortunately she missed an opportunity to get a start. So with Tara Welsh making her first ever start in goal, the defense saw Meghan Kinson as the only regular starter still playing in this match. The back end also consisted of Kelsey Nicholson, Kiersten Young, and Erin Fields, all of whom made their first ever start, as did Jillian Hale in the midfield. They did a fabulous job early on, but you really have to give credit to the offense for having a huge start to this game, scoring four goals in the first 30 minutes, and leading 5-1 at halftime. Lexi Quinn scored a pair, with Brianna Bouchard and Danielle Leonard scoring before the half hour mark, then with the score 4-1, Bouchard added her second of the match. Then early in the second half, Kelsey Nicholson scored on a free kick to give us a 6-1 lead, and there was no looking back. Or, at least, there shouldn’t have been.

Some strange things happened late in this game with us holding the 6-1 lead, especially with Meghan Kinson getting a red card in the 59th minute for what seemed to be an innocent tackle. This strange call led to some apples to be tossed onto the field, one of the first times we have seen that in qualifying (and can it please be the last? Please?!?!) Meghan argued for a while before flipping off the referee (and getting a standing ovation from the women in the crowd). Six minutes later, the referee must have been really butt-hurt from what Meghan said to him, and then gave another questionable red card out, this to Erika Fenwick. That red card to the fans may also have meant “throw more apples, please”, as more flew from crowd. Erika also flipped off the referee, and Brittany Lawton was screaming from the sideline, but also realized that we still had a five goal lead, so did not want to get carried away with it. Being two players down, and with many of those players our younger players to boot, we conceded three goals in the final twenty minutes, to make the game appear much closer then it really was.

Since the game, I’ve read some articles from men’s rights groups about Meghan Kinson’s red card, saying that her reaction to that shows that kind of temper she might have. Since she was accused of being a ringleader of gang rape at Grande Mountain years ago of a male student, a story well-documented during qualifying for the last World Cup, Meghan has been under the limelight. Although investigators since showed no evidence of the alleged crime, there are still some who believe that Meghan is guilty and that she is paying off the right people to ensure she is still seen as innocent. Showing this aggressive nature of spitting at and flipping off the referee after yelling at him is sure to get these men’s rights people all worked up over her again and get the conspiracy theories rolling more. Coach Lawton stands behind Kinson, as well as Fenwick and is upset that, by rule, they have to sit out the next game, a road game in Kishrael. She told reporters that, “if I didn’t have confidence in the players I will put in the lineup to fill in, I would appeal it, but we’ll get through it.”

[Nouvel Ecosse]

NOUVEL ECOSSE 2 0 PIDDLEHINTON
Darren McFadden 23' 57'

The momentum is firmly in Nouvel Ecosse's game after their third victory in a row propelled them to within two points of group leaders Liventia, although admittedly still in fifth place. After reassuring victories against both De La Fleur and Rex Lucian, it was star man Darren McFadden who once again was the hero, a stable double the difference between victory and defeat.

Nouvel Ecosse were one of only two teams on the day to win out of the group, with the four above them all drawing and thus offering the Rampant Walrus a slim lifeline in qualification. But on the day, against what was regarded as weak opposition, it was Nouvel Ecosse who triumphed. The game started lively enough, the Nouvel Ecosse team immediately on the attack as per the style Norrie Stewart has developed with his squad. Sanchez Reno wasted an early chance, bursting through one on one with the Piddlehinton goalkeeper before seeing the ball turned away, earning a perhaps lucky or unlucky corner.

Curt Lafleur came close from the cross, his header hitting the underside of the crossbar before Jorge Sanchez fluffed his easy chance, sending the ball roaring over the defenders, the goalkeeper and ultimately the goal itself. Piddlehinton rushed up field, and, in one of their rare chances of the game, came close with a powered run and crushing shot which narrowly missed Zinedine Frazer's right side.

Darren McFadden scored his sixth international goal in the twenty-third minute, latching onto a clever and insightful cross from midfielder Malloch and turning home from close range. His celebration, a quick run up to the corner flag and then a couple of quick punches a la Tim Cahill earned a long lasting ovation from the fans, who had unveiled a banner bearing the words "McFadden = The Fighter of Ecosse". Seconds later, he was unfortunate to see his freekick, earned for a rash foul on Di Nesbo, tipped gently and unassuringly over the top of the crossbar.

By this time, the crowd, like a demented cinema audience of gore fans, were braying and praying from blood. Piddlehinton just didn't look up to scratch, missing a few half-chances and seeing many of their passes easily intercepted by the quick and alert Ecossian midfield. When the referee blew for half-time, it was clear they were relieved to be leaving the pitch only a goal down.

Darren McFadden largely put them out of their misery in the fifty sixth minute, when his blinding run from midfield, in which he beat three players and then the goalkeeper, ended with his second of the game. Piddlehinton, who to this point had still been attempting some attacking football, almost gave up at this point, putting another man at the back and thus securing the win fro Nouvel Ecosse. It was a disappointing last thirty minutes, the game petering out with hardly another real chance, the Piddlehinton defense making sure no more attacks were possible whilst also meaning that they were short of any real substance up front.

The Nouvel Ecosse fans were happy with how their team played throughout, although one or two bemoaned the fact they believe the opposing team had rather ruined the spectacle. Only two points off of qualification, however, Nouvel Ecosse look promising, although they have yet to play the Holy Empire, ranked fourth in the world and the heavyweight of the table.

[Polar Islandstates]

Prologue
The Concrete Museum
Accidents Will Happen



The Popular Peoples’ Front of Bjarnarey for the Bjarnese

**
From the case notes of Wolfgang Lillehammer, PI
After covering the distance between The Barge and my office in what seemed like record time – Kolberg would later tell me that such was my determination I fully vaulted a couple of packing cases on one particular jetty, though I have no recollection of this ever happening – we arrived at the landing between my office and Boris’ front door. I didn’t so much hammer on the door as drill it with my fist.

“Boris! Boris it’s me, open up!” I hollered as I pounded the door with my knuckles. “Boris! Boris!”

There was a scrape and a shuffle from inside. I recognised this as a sign that I had just woken him up. I know Boris’ habits, and I was now pretty confident that he hadn’t been there at The Barge just now. Still, there was still the fact he’d given me invitations and encouraged me to go to two kidnappings, so, he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“Boris! Come on, Boris, I need to talk to you!” I said, slightly threateningly. The shuffling sped up, moving towards the door from inside.

“Police! Open up!” yelled Kolberg, officiously.

The shuffling stopped. I looked daggers at her.

“Well what did you go and say a thing like that for?” I asked her, “He’s a petty criminal, he’s on my side most of the time but he’s a petty criminal nonetheless. Why on Earth would he open the door if he knows the police are there?”

“Oh… yeah, sorry.” she said sheepishly.

“Come on, Boris, open up! For me?” I pleaded.

No luck, the shuffling was now a badly disguised creep towards the back of his property.

“Aw come on, Boris! I know you’re in there…” I warned. No answer. I turned to Kolberg instead. “Right, come on then Officer, you can help me out here.”

Without waiting for an answer from her, I raised my foot to the door and gave it a hefty kick just underneath the lock. My foot rebounded back painfully. Clearly, Boris had somehow accumulated a paranoia-induced collection of locks and doorbolts.

“Hey, what? Woah!” exclaimed Kolberg, “Why are you doing that? You need a warrant for that kind of thing!”

I looked at her unimpressed. “You want a warrant?” I asked.

“Not so much ‘want’, as ‘need’, yes,” she confirmed, not quite sensing my tone.

“Fine. I’ll give you a warrant,” I said through clenched teeth, giving the door another kick.

“Go on, then.” she said, confused.

“Warrant.” *KICK* “You.” *KICK* “Helping.” *KICK* “Me?” *KICK* I grunted, emphasising my point with a kick for punctuation after every word.

“Warrant you? War… Why aren’t… Warrant, why aren’t…” she muttered, doing the mental calculation, “Wolfgang, that doesn’t even work!”

“Then shut up and help me!” I shouted, gesturing towards the door.

“Fine,” she snapped, giving in, “on three: One, two, three!”

We both kicked on her signal, and at last the door broke open by the middle, leaving half the door still attached the frame via the myriad collection of locks and key chains Boris had assembled in a hail of splinters. Squeezing past the painful looking array of shattered wood, Kolberg and I leapt into the apartment. I covered the floor in two bounds to wrestle Boris out from behind his usual hiding place and dragged him out in front of us. Manhandling the balding lump of a man into a chair, I turned him to look at us both and stood over him threateningly.

“I suppose you know what this is about, pal?” I said, spitting the last word contemptuously.

“What’s she doin’ ‘ere?” he attacked back, looking daggers in Kolberg’s direction.

“She’s with me.” I said clearly.

“She’s not about to arrest me, is she?” he said, slightly panicked.

“Well that all rather depends on what you tell us now doesn’t it, sir.” she replied with a clear tone and an arched eyebrow.

“Wolfgang mate, you wouldn’t turn me over, would ya?” he said, appealing to my better side, “after all we’ve been through?”

“Like she said, you need to tell us what’s been going on, first.”

“Surely though,” he pressed, “you can protect me one last time? For old times’ sake?” His tone was more desperate now, his hands pressed together.

“Wait, you’ve been protecting criminals?” asked Kolberg, united front broken momentarily, turning to look at me.

“I prefer to think of it as looking the other way,” I whispered back, “we’ll talk later.”

Sensing he’d caused a rift, Boris smiled a nasty smile that I immediately took a dislike to. Time to wipe it off.

“Listen, mister, I’ve got three questions for you;” I said, accompanying it with three menacing steps towards him that soon wiped the smile from his face. “Question One: we found your note and an empty envelope at the scene of a kidnapping just now at The Barge. I’m going to assume you knew it was going to happen. So, what information was it that you got for them?”

“I dunno, guv!” he said, rather too quickly for my liking.

“Boris…”

“No really! I dunno! I had to collect an envelope from one place and put it in anuvva envelope for anuvva place. I was just the messenger. The envoy. The courier. Hey, hey, maybe I should get a job at Trulsen, right?” he joked.

“Shut up, Boris.” I snapped.

He stopped joking.

“So you have no idea at all?” Kolberg pressed.

“Nope,” said Boris happily.

“Only, I worked in the compensation departments for a long time, and I know how these things work.” continued Kolberg, “Sure would be a shame if your door didn’t get fixed for a week or so. Lot of thievery around, these days…”

“Wait, you’re allowed to use threats like that?” I asked.

“We’ll talk later,” she whispered back.

“Oh, okay, er… well, now you come to mention it, there was one loose bit of paper that I had to research for myself…” spluttered Boris, hastily. Though, looking around his dingy, grubby apartment I wasn’t exactly sure what he had to get stolen anyway.

“And what was that?” I asked.

“House prices an’ mooring rents.” he answered with a nod.

“House prices?”

“Yeah, ‘cross the city. Bjarnarey. Hove. Shalebeck. Jodrell. The whole lot. House prices and rental costs on moorings.”

“But, that’s information in the public realm, any old idiot could get that from the library themselves, couldn’t they?” I asked, puzzled as to why Boris was required to fetch such a mundane bit of information.

“Exactly, the guy on the phone said any old dolt could do it.” said Boris proudly, clearly missing the fact that the joke was on him; a fact that happily qualified him for the position of ‘any old dolt’ in the first place.

“Right, so, why did it have to be you getting it?” I continued.

“I dunno, something about not wanting to be seen getting it himself.” shrugged Boris. “Can I go now?”

“Ah, ah, ah,” said Kolberg, “we’re not done here yet, not by a long shot.

“Quite,” I said, “so, we’ve got a list of house prices and mooring rentals for the entire city, and now we’ve got a kidnapping and another mystery envelope of information we don’t know anything about. Boris, where did you pick up the first envelope?”

“Erm, just down by the university.” he answered, “I was told to just go up to the reception desk and ask for a package for Boris.”

“Seems incredibly blasé for information that would lead to a criminal act,” I pondered out loud.

“Indeed,” agreed Kolberg, “that kind of thing has to be on CCTV, too.”

“It’s a line of enquiry,” I said, “we’ll note it for later. The reception will likely be closed for the summer anyway.”

“Oh, I’m sure they have people in all year now,” said Kolberg cheerfully, “besides, you appear to be forgetting that I have a rather nifty badge for situations like this that can always make things happen rather quicker that you can.”

“Oh, yeah.” I said thoughtfully, mentally noting to remind myself to get a hold of one of those basges, before turning back to Boris, who had appeared to be relieved the attention was away from him for a short while. “Now, Boris, where you did you leave this envelope and the house prices once you’d got them together?”

“Just, er, just a pigeon hole in the docks?” he stammered.

“Under whose name?” I pressed.

“No, literally, in a pigeon hole. A hole where pigeons live.” he answered. I raised my eyebrow. “It’s my usual handover point. People put money in it when they pay me and it’s where I tell ‘em to go for the stuff they ask for.”

“And where is it?” asked Kolberg.

Boris looked hesitant. I kicked him in the shin just to loosen his lips a little.

“Ah! You son of a… It’s by Quay 7a, the forklift operators’ station. Just behind there.” he said bitterly. “Have to get a new one now, won’t I?!”

“That,” I reminded him, “is the least of your problems right now. No, have they paid you yet?”

“For this’un? Half of it, yeah. Half up front, the rest later.”

“So you’re due half?”

“Yeah, tomorrow night, should be.” he said, wincing and rubbing his shin. I looked at Kolberg, but she was already answering my question.

“I’ll get a stake on it, but if this is as big as it looks I wouldn’t be surprised to see them stiff him.” she said.

I nodded.

“Okay, now can I go?” asked Boris.

“No chance,” I said, lowering myself over him threateningly, “in fact; Question Two. If you were involved in the data collection for these guys, why are you so keen to have me caught up in it? So far you’ve encouraged me to be at two scenes of kidnapping, and for all I know you wanted me out of the picture. So, what gives, Boris?”

“Mate, honestly, I never knew no kidnappings were goin’ to ‘appen.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“Honestly!” he said hurriedly, and then with a distinct note of panic in his voice, “Honest, mate. You’re me neighbour. We look out for each other, don’t we? I need you and you need me. I just fought you were going to be there for a robbery or sumfin’, I didn’t know none of this kidnap stuff was going to happen. I just got them the envelope of stuff. I didn’t know what there were going to do with it!”

I looked at Kolberg. To my disappointment, he did seem genuinely remorseful.

“You didn’t know?” I said, standing and straightening up a little.

“Honest mate, straight up. I don’t want you getting tied up in owt.”

“Right, well I could be in a body bag by now, so maybe be more careful over what invites you give me.” I said, almost forgiving the hapless idiot, “You keep mugging the Mayor, by the way, I’d watch out for that; one of these days he’ll have protection with him.”

“You’ve mugged the Mayor?!” interrupted Kolberg.

“Twice.” I corrected.

“Well, it was more of a pickpocketing than a mugging,” said Boris slowly, “I ain’t never ‘urt ‘im.”

“Hmmm,” frowned Kolberg.

“If you look at it from another point of view, he’s actually protected the Mayor from two attempted kidnappings,” I pointed out, now feeling slightly sorry for the prat.

“That’s hardly the point.” said Kolberg, unimpressed.

“Anyway, now that we know you’re not trying to kill me… Question Three; who are they?” I asked of Boris.

“No idea.” he said, almost happy to not be at fault for this one.

“None?”

“None.”

“Well, then how did they contact you?” I asked.

“Phone.” he said.

“Which phone?” asked Kolberg.

“My phone.” he answered, as if it was a stupid question.

“And you never thought to phone back?” I asked quickly.

“Protected number, innit,” he sniffed, “couldn’t even if I wanted to. I wait for them to talk to me. That’s how it worked.”

“Recognise the voice?”

“Deep male voice? Could be anyone pretendin’ to ‘ave a chest cold.” he said, shrugging, “I’m clueless, I’m afraid.”

“Well, you must have some idea,” pressed Kolberg, arms outstretched, “like, do you know why they wanted any of that information? They must have been willing to pay for it for a reason.”

Boris shrugged again.

“Nothing?” I asked.

“Nuthin’.” he confirmed. “I just get the stuff for them. One envelope I weren’t allowed to open, and a piece of paper anyone could have got their hands on. I just assumed I was doing it for some secretive fella that didn’t fancy hiring his own team.”

I looked at Kolberg. It really wasn’t a lot to go on.

“So, why did you tell me about the conversation you overheard and not this?” I asked, “This looked way more exciting.”

“Why would I willingly surrender a source of income?” he asked, with genuine bewilderment on his face.

“Okay, fair point.” I conceded, then looked at Kolberg. “Well, I’m out of questions. You?”

“I think that’s everything for now,” said Kolberg, “if this guy is stupid enough to call you again I’ll arrange for a tap to be put on your phone when the guys come around with your new door, but other than that Boris, don’t go leaving the city, okay?”

At least he had the decency to look sheepishly at the ground as we left, none the wiser as to what was going on.

I looked at Kolberg as we stood on the pier outside, bobbing up and down gently with the motion of the nocturnal tides, the sky only just approaching a dark blue despite the time of day.

“Well?” I asked.

“Well, indeed,” she said, “there’s not a lot there to go on.”

“Pretty much nothing, in fact,” I replied, “So what I suggest is we go our separate ways and attempt to find out something more.”

“Agreed, speak soon.”

And with a firm handshake, Officer Kolberg disappeared along the jetties and walkways, back to the police station.



**
From the case notes of Wolfgang Lillehammer, PI
My suspicions about the opening times of the university reception turned out to be correct, and though we made an appointment to see the receptionist on duty and the CCTV operator as soon as the department opened up again, we were left to our own devices up until that point.

Nobody had called Boris’ phone.

Nobody turned up to Boris’ drop point.

And in the rest of the city, nobody knew anything about what had happened.

It was huge news, of course. The biggest. In Timo Skye alone they had about as high a profile a prisoner as they could have hoped to acquire, and the press had descended en masse into Bjarnarey. Once you added in the current FPIFA boss and one of the WCC co-presidents, you had an absolute scrum of reporters and photographers on every pier corner asking questions to all and sundry and taking pictures of anything that moved. And that was before you even considered the other three hostages. Vauxhall Jansen was a capped footballer from the u-21s team, and he’d been taken along with the club secretary of Bjarnarey Flotilla, Juliana Veneberg, and prominent local politician in Little Wight, Ingeborg Newquay. It was a motley crew, but one that the press was doing their very best to find a connection for. That most were involved in football and two were half-Wightling was about the best they’d come up with so far, which hardly made up for their excruciatingly frustrating presence on every canal.

Give me the clockwork and predictable route of the Bjarnarey Floater around the Norscanal anyday.

There were plenty of rumours floating round, obviously, but none that I cared much for. Mytanar hooligans, Kuril separatists, Bjarnese separatists for that matter, religious fanatics from any of the minorities in the Federation, overspill from Valladar or Darmeni frictions, or perhaps someone that just plain hated football; all had been suggested either on the streets or in the press. The current favourite theory amongst the general populous of Bjarnarey was that it was Sargossan militants still unhappy at the state of play following the Külmsaar mess the year previously. That didn’t stack up for me for two reasons. One, why would they come all the way to Bjarnarey of all places? I mean, why not Külmsaar or Terra Scotia? And then after that, if you’ve come as far as a minor city like Bjarnarey, why not just go all the way to Franz Josef City? And two, why wouldn’t they be happy? Our government had come out of that mess infinitely worse than theirs had. No, I didn’t like that idea.

I’d done some thinking myself, obviously, and even though Boris and I had both been discreetly called in for questioning by the police, I managed to keep a few theories to myself – I still didn’t entirely trust that force after their involvement in the undead ‘issue’ all those years ago. I’d not got much further than the police had however, and had resorted to other means of enquiry.

I started looking at the research being undertaken at all departments of the university, or Bjarnarey Maritime College to give it its proper name, but soon realised that investigating all of them would have taken weeks. I even looked at the list of house prices as more of a pragmatic clue. What if it had nothing to do with the crime, and was simply a way of researching the best and cheapest place to buy to keep the hostages holed up in? Despite logic flashing a great big red light at the back of my head asking why that sort of task wouldn’t have been done long before any kidnapping took place, I went ahead and investigated the latest house purchases at the bottom of the financial ladder anyway. I can’t say I was particularly surprised or disappointed to find them all legit, however.

It seemed like all I could do was continue making my own probes into the whereabouts and motives of the kidnappers whilst waiting for Kolberg’s and mine appointment at the university the next day. The police had had no luck on tracing the route of the kidnappers after leaving The Barge – a mixture of the Bjarnarey climate and surfaces being hostile to detailed forensics and nobody having their eyes on the streets outside had seen to that. Everything was to change that afternoon however, and the speculation would end.

I was walking home after another uninspiring and fruitless trip to the library for research on Ingeborg Newquay and the ins and outs of local politics in Little Wight, and was occupying myself by keeping myself busy taking out my frustrations on the incessantly annoying press by tripping them up and dumping them in the canals. Halfway through up-ending a particularly privileged looking rotter with a massive nose, I received a text message from Kolberg. Ignoring the rather satisfying splash the journo made in the water, I opened it. It was four simple words.

”TURN ON YOUR TELEVISION.”

My mind immediately jumping to the possibility of it being a video from the kidnappers, I rushed the last three blocks back to my house, vaulting palettes and packing cases, leaping over rope bridges, and nearly resisting the temptation to nudge another landlubbing journalist into the drink. Nearly.

I turned on my television and flicked quickly to the Norscelt News channel, hoping my jump to conclusion was correct. I wasn’t disappointed.

On the silent screen was a still of four men, and two women. Each was wearing a blindfold and holding up a copy of one of the papers published fresh that morning, but they were unmistakably the six hostages. There was Timo Skye with the Valhallan Independent, Dima Koolhaas with the Bjarnarey Floater, Magnus Ragnorak with the Polar Times, Ingeborg Newquay with the Midnight Sun, Juliana Veneberg with the Valhallan Workers’ Daily, and Vauxhall Jansen with the Freight Solution Co-ordinators Monthly Gazette, which was of course printed with much anticipation earlier that day – something about tax credits on the Kuril routes or something.

Stood behind them in the picture were three people, gender unknown, arms folded and wearing full balaclavas and black jumpsuits. Behind them on the wall was a backdrop of a white bedsheet, on which a funny insignia was hastily spray painted. I didn’t recognise it, but it appeared to be a mixture of Ps and Bs.

Suddenly realising that the news ticker at the bottom was off and that the news anchor was speaking over the top of the image, I turned up the volume that I usually keep low for working to, and listened.

“…-om appear to be safe and sound. The location is unknown, but police are said to be working on leads even as we speak-“

‘My arse they are,’ I thought.

“-Once again this is a press release issued directly to the studios of Norscelt TV1, send by way of an anonymous online contact form, with a link to this picture which is hosted on a foreign server, thought at this point to be in the far east of Rushmore. The picture shows all six hostages, all of whom appear to be safe and sound. The body of the e-mail reads as follows;

’Brothers and Sisters of Bjarnarey, for too long we have sat and watched as our city has been overrun with immigration from Rushmore and beyond. That an entire district of our great floating city is named after its immigrant population is too much for us Patriots to take anymore, and the time is now ripe for action. We, The Popular Peoples’ Front of Bjarnarey for the Bjarnese, were horrified by the scenes in Külmsaar last year as the native and immigrant Sargossan population rose up and caused untold chaos and destruction for honest hardworking Valhallans such as you or I, and we can no longer allow the presence of foreign sleeper cells like this on our shores. The potential for foreign insurgency is, as we now know, a deadly one. And, as the undead have proven on the streets of Bjarnarey once already, the Wightling population is not to be trusted. The shores of Valhalla must be defended, our history must be preserved, our culture celebrated, and our future protected. The process starts now, with Bjarnarey.

‘Our demands are therefore thus: We demand that the Wightling population of Bjarnarey leave immediately. If they do not leave Little Wight and make preparations for return to their own nation then we will be forced to take action. You have five days before your half-Wightling hostages of ours, Vauxhall Jansen and Ingeborg Newquay, who have up until this point been treated well, are executed.

‘The rest of Bjarnarey will not be affected, and we by no means expect you, the Bjarnese people, to care what becomes of our Wightling hostages. However, if the deadline for the Wightlings to do things themselves passes, then we will start on the rest of our hostages. For every day past the initial deadline, we will execute one of our Valhallan hostages until the Bjarnese people rise up and oust the Wightling poison from our lands. Juliana Veneberg, Dima Koolhaas, Magnus Ragnorak, and Timo Skye.

‘Oust the Wightling poison.

‘We are The Popular Peoples’ Front of Bjarnarey for the Bjarnese, and we are not dicking around.’

“So, explosive and highly provocative political language used there. Police are already making moves to protect the area of Little Wight, and claim that no citizen of Bjarnarey will be forced to do anything on the say so of the authorities. They are taking these threats seriously however, and are operating with full haste to determine the whereabouts of the hostages.

“My name is Oscar Davydenko, and you are watching Norscelt News. Once again, this is the publication of a press release from the kidnappers responsible for the scenes at The Barge last night, where a numbe-…”

My mouth hung open slightly. Kidnappings? Executions? Threads and deadlines? This wasn’t the kind of thing that happened in the Federation, let alone Bjarnarey! And anti-Wightling groups? Well, they were non-existent, surely? Who in their right minds would hate the Wightlings with this much passion?

My first thought was, of course, ‘sodding psychos’.

My second thought was, ’who the hell are The Popular Peoples’ Front of Bjarnarey for the Bjarnese?!’



The story will continue in Professor Know-Nothing

[OOC: apologies for length, this was originally meant to be two RPs but I didn't have time to post yesterday]

[Punum]

Punum Hammer Lukquarel

Yesterday, Punum defeated Lukquarel 5-2 in a game that had fans of the seat for the duration if the game in the World Cup.

Lukquarel dominated the first 10 minutes with 4 shots on target. However, the tables turned when Michael Dean got the ball down the right wing. He played it back to Craig Hoffman. He then played to Chris Lloyd in the centre who was 25 metres out. He faked a shot and instead made a through ball to Michael Dean who was on the edge of the box. The Lukquarel centre back missed a slide tackle, and Michael Dean punished him as he put the ball into the far top left hand corner, to make it 1-0 after 17 minutes. Punum now started to dominate the game and in the 26th minute Earl Marquez passed it to Henry Dean in their own half. He then played it to Lenny Dotson, who is back after his suspension. He took on the Lukquarel centre midfielder. His run carried on as nobody was closing him down. He saw Aaron McGuire making a run. Played him the ball. He was now one on one with the keeper. McGuire placed it beautifully into the bottom right hand corner. 2-0 after 29 minutes. Punum weren't finish yet. Malcolm Guzman received the ball 25 metres out. He played a short pass to Chris Lloyd who was on the edge of the D. He saw Michael Dean on the right and passed to him. With his first touch, Dean crossed it in. Lloyd stylishly vollied it in to make it 3-0 in the 42nd minute. That's how they went into half time. The second half was much more even. Punum got the first shot of the half but McGuire put it high and wide. From the following goal kick the Lukquarel goalkeeper played it to the left midfielder who headered it back to the left back. He then played to the centre midfielder who saw the left midfielder making a run so he gave him the ball. He then flanked the Punisian back four and was one on one with the keeper. He played it into the bottom left corner to make it 3-1 in the 52nd minute. Now they had conceded, they were hungry for more. In the 63rd minute Henry Dean had the ball on the edge of the box. He then passed it across the back if the box to Malcolm Guzman. Who layed it off to Lenny Dotson and from 20 metres out, he shoots and it flies in to the bottom left hand corner making it 4-1 after 65 minutes. It was now Lukquarel's turn to attack. In the 76th minute, they got a corner. Punum had left enough space at the near post for the right midfielder to pass the ball into the striker. He then shoots from an impossibly hard angle, through Norman Ismael and Felix Briggs into the top left hand corner to make it 4-2 in the 78th minute. In the 88th minute, Lukquarel got a corner. The poor cross was headed out to Rick Curtis who passed to Lenny Dotson. He then played a 30 metre through ball to Michael Dean who had one defender left to beat. However, he noticed his brother Henry making a perfectly timed run on the left. He chipped it over the defender to him. And from 10 metres out he put it into the bottom left hand corner to make it 5-2 after the third minute of added time. That's how the game finished.

Punum's next game is against The Fair Republic who are currently ninth and Punum are now sixth. Zackary Brown has kept the same team.

GK: Felix Briggs
RB: Craig Hoffman
CB: Norman Ismael
CB: Rick Curtis
LB: Earl Marquez
CDM: Lenny Dotson
RM: Michael Dean
LM: Henry Dean
CAM: Chris Lloyd
CAM: Malcolm Guzman
ST: Aaron McGuire

Subs

GK: Bill Hanson
RB/LB: Albert Chandler
CB: Clinton Conley
CDM: Matthew Jewell
RM/LM: Neil Long
CAM: Rodrick Dalton
ST: Martin Hood.

Lee Mueller

[Zwangzug]

"Well," said Vipin, "here we are in International Park, home of International of Tyrellia!"

"International what?" asked Shula.

"International Park. Is the name of the stadium." Vipin spread his arms wide, rotating them until they encompassed the nearest sign.

"No, the other thing you said."

"Oh. International of Tyrellia, is the domestic club that usually plays here."

"Yeah!" said Martina. "Speaking of, any word from home--when are we going to start using different stadiums?"

Vipin raised his eyebrows. "When?"

"Or are we? I dunno, we should be moving along by now."

"Hold on, wait a minute," Shula cut in again. "International of Tyrellia, why's it called that?"

"...Because the city is named Tyrellia, and this is their club..." Vipin pointed out.

"Yeah, so why "International"? Did they used to have signed a bunch of players from overseas? Because I don't think the Legalite league is that popular a destination."

"So what? Maybe it's just the name."

"Well that's a stupid name then."

"The local team used to be called the "Tigers,"" said Joan.

Vipin blinked. "How do you even..."

"And this used to be Casari," Luanne noted.

"Okay, that's enough," said Vipin. "Coach?"

"Mmhmm?" Scroves did not turn around.

"Can we just, you know, get things together? This is going to be a tough game and we won't get anywhere by bickering over things."

"Astonishing," Shula murmured. "It's almost like you think debating the finer points of club names and hairsplitting over, shall we say, legalese won't benefit us for the match."

Vipin turned to her, mentally repeating the line before deeply rolling his eyes and trying not to make a fist.

The first half of the game saw Zwangzug clogging the midfield and trying to close down Cyrus Damhan, who, roared on by the sympathetic home fans, seemed likely to break out any minute. The outside defenders, Vipin and Jerzy, put in plenty of effort to avoid letting identity politics define the day, but sure enough, Vipin got entangled with Damhan and earned himself a yellow card for his efforts. Perhaps fortunately for Zwangzug, or at the very least avoiding more of the same, this happened just outside the penalty area, and did not lead to an immediate goal. Nevertheless, it wasn't long before Lane Wilson had put the hosts ahead.

Joan tied it in the second half, but then Damhan was substituted off to the applause of the locals. In his place came Sherwood Hendry, of the Ellentown Exempts. "A Legalite name if I've ever heard one," said Shula, crossing her arms on the bench.

"Yeah, if you've ever heard one," said Martina, "and as is clear, you have not." It wasn't long before Hendry's energy came in to make an impact, as he assisted Jack Wayne on the eventual winning goal. Martina actually did get to get substituted on as well, but to no avail.

"...Don't you think it's a little weird that their crest has a picture of a person on it?" Shula asked, incorrigible, as they trooped out, on their way to making the stadium somewhat less international.

"...it's a logo..." Vipin hissed.

"Okay, what if it had been a statue of, like, naked justice? If they had worn that to Zwangzug, would that have been enough to get dinged for anti-nudity laws?"

"If they had a picture of a naked...what is wrong with you?"

"It's the principle of the thing! Come on, have some fun, how often do you really get to go on about the spirit of the letter of the law? As it were."

"It'd be more fun if we'd gotten at least a half-point out of it."

"A point! International scale."

"Bleeping offensivists."

"This is the former Casari," Luanne said yet again. "You think they'd at least--"

"So that's how they got into it!" Shula grinned. "The Casaran system, I mean. Maybe?"

Vipin, despite being tired from a long game, somehow found it in himself to quicken his pace.

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Gazzette

Mascona Closing in on New Stadium deal

The city of Mascona, Mascona Fidel, and the Mangolana Soccer Association are quickly closing in on financing from government loans and bonds to build a new 950 million Langolana multi-purpose stadium for Mangolana track and field events, Soccer Matches and possible future Football games should the Mangolana Sports association decide to green light a national football team. The main use of the stadium will however be a soccer stadium for the Mangolana Super League side Mascona Fidel. The club will also receive a 40 million dollar loan from the city to improve the team. The Stadium on the other hand will be expected to at least sit in the range of 60 to 70 thousand fans. The stadium will be the first stage of the Mangolana Soccer Associations attempt to improve the state of the stadiums in Mangolana including the building of 5 new stadiums for teams in both the Premier and Super Leagues that can be shared or used by one team. The Mangolana national team will also be using all the stadia for its National team matches. The stadiums can also be used should Mangolana ever bring a major sporting event to its shores again.

The city of Mascona has also stated that they will hoping for the completion of the stadium in time for the next World Cup Qualifying rounds, which will take place two and a half years from now. Currently the Mangolana national team plays all of their matches at the Grego-Johnson Stadium which is located in Dalenderain, Mangolana and is home to the Mangolana Super League side Dalenderain which was just relegated following the past season. The Club was also home to National team attacker Akeem Howard prior to his transfer to Appleoosa in the Equestrian States. The stadium will replace Border Stadium in Mascona where Mascona Fidel will play their matches until the stadium is complete. The next planned stadium would appear to be in Arlnet to replace the aging Executive Stadium and league bosses headquarters.

In Match news, Mangolana drew the top team in the group in Milchama to earn Mangolana a share of the lead in the group with their next opponent Ossidiacqua which is the second ranked team in the group and the 37th best team in the group. Mangolana started off the scoring in the Milchama match when a quarter of an hour in, Milchama midfielder Kev Verner sent an errant pass across the field which landed at the feet of Mangolana Captain JD Fuller. Fuller was able to quickly send the ball to an open Brett Mallon on the edge of the box. Mallon made a strong run into the box which drew the Milchama goalkeeper Hench Valentine off his line. Gregory Nena, who had made a run behind the defender was sent a pass by Mallon with Nena easily tapping the ball into the wide open net. Milchama would waste no time however equalizing the score. Five minutes after the Mangolana goal, Milchama was awarded a phantom penalty. Milchama striker Manny Jackson made a run into the Mangolana box and was picked up defender Jordan Morgan. Morgan covered Jackson well, but Jackson trying a one touch move, tripped over his own feet, resulting in the ball being cleared by Morgan. The referee however did not see it this way and awarded a penalty for Milchama and a yellow card to Morgan. Jackson with the penalty fooled the keeper and finessed the ball into the left side of the net. Following the goal, both sides had good chances at goal, but thanks to top play from both keepers, the match remained 1-1 all the way to the final whistle.

[Kandorith]

In Form Kandorith Shows Claws


By Lisho Yaru

Tense was the best way to describe the atmosphere in the stadium after Kandorith fell behind with one to zero and later two to zero. The fans were cheering for their team like never before when the whistle for the end of the first half sounded. It looked like Kandorith was headed for a defeat. Although in the second half the magic started to happen. In the first Twenty minutes of the second half, the Dragons showed what they were made of in a complete ridiculous fashion.


On the main stage of the stage were Méng and Nakamura, undoing the lead Cosumar had on the team. When at 75 minutes into the game Kandorith was headed for a 2 - 2 draw when disaster struck again. A quick strike by the Cosumar team created the opportunity for a 3 - 2 lead for them and taking that chance. A grim sound fell at the Kandorese supporter's stands as they were fearing the worst for their team, the first defeat in this qualifying round. The supporters had to watch fearfully as Cosumar tried to attack time after time with the Kandorese defence barely holding out to the attacks when finally midfielder Jíejíe got the ball and passed it to Nakamura. The action of the Kandorese team was welcomed with a huge roar rolling trough the stadium as Nakamura sped across the midfield. Méng and Nakamura stood against two defenders of Cosumar and with a quick one-two Méng was able to pass them, only to stand eye to eye with the goalkeeper. As Méng put his laces trough the ball a dead silence fell trough the stadium, followed by a huge applause and roaring of the fans as the ball hit the woodwork and ricocheted into the goal on the 89th minute mark. Kandorith made it 3 - 3 and ensured it would stay a draw.


"Amazing, utterly amazing" exclaimed a completely exhausted Méng. "It was like there was a tranquil silence as it all seemed to happen in slow motion and I thought I would miss the initial shot. To see the ball fall back over the line was an amazing feeling, I think I have really saved the team this team." He said as he chuckled. "These matches have shown we are ready for this World Cup stage, we are finally an adequate team being serious about football. It's ecstatic to have come so far already without losing a single match yet. I am sure we can keep this up and perhaps even qualify, but it is too early to judge that, as we have a long road to go. Nonetheless, we will definitely not disappoint our fans or our nation." As the completely proud Méng said, the road is still long; but Kandorith has performed outstanding already.


The team still stands in the top 3, without being defeated in a single match yet, which is the best performance of Kandorith ever. It is on this success Coach Xíanjí wants to build and even improve further. The next match will be against Lukquarel, with Xíanjí already saying not to underestimate them, as they can be a future performance team and have some nasty quality about them. Kandorith is going towards an amazing performance and could snatch the second place if they win; we will be looking forward to the match as much as the fans. We also know His Majesty, The Emperor himself will visit the match to support both the team and the supporters. Jiayoú Kanduó!

[Ossidiacqua]

Miserabili: The musical of the Acquan World Cup 65 qualification saga
And yes, that is an excuse to visualise Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re as Idris Elba in a Pope Hat
An increasingly shameless Les Miserables re-appropriation

SCENE TWELVE:
The players are singing a song to get them through training as they hunt down the top spot in their group.

[PLAYERS]
We smell winning,
Smell it in the air.
Think we'll get to winning,
In that stadium over there.
Lovely victories,
Got to get the points.
Only way to get 'em,
is to rattle all their joints...
[STRIKERS]
Even strikers need a little bite!
[PLAYERS]
Lovely tackles,
Send 'em through the air.
Got to have the muscle,
To back up your bit of flair.
Lovely tackles,
Ready for the best.
Try and take us on then,
Cos we've booted all the best.
Reputations? We laugh in your face!
[VELASQUEZ]
Come here, my players
Let's see this tactic of ours
This 'give 'em hell'...
[FISICHELLA]
Captain, we listen to you...
[MONTEMAYOR]
But we need rough.
[BARRAGAN]
We can't rely on our style!
[AULENTI]
I'll tell you what,
We're not able to change,
Not even for you.
[FONSECA]
It's all we are.
[POLANCO]
We tackle hard,
It's what we do.
Captain, you know you do it too...
[PLAYERS]
Lovely tackles,
Hit 'em really hard.
When the ref's not looking,
Or he'll start the yellow cards.
Lovely tackles,
Sliding 'cross the grass.
Pundits raise their eyebrows,
Sitting safe behind the glass.
Bring them out, we'll show what we're about!
[VELASQUEZ]
What a strong point,
What strong tackles you got there.
What luck you got, you escape cards co much,
I'll say my bit.
[FIBONACCI]
Oh my captain, leave us alone!
[VELASQUEZ]
Let's make a deal,
I'll cut you all some slack,
Just think of that!
[FIBONACCI]
You'll let us off?
[VELASQUEZ]
I'll let you off.
[FIBONACCI]
What can we do? You'll let us off.
Our tackles are free to win the match.
[FAUSTI]
Lovely tackles,
Save me from their shots.
Slide in how you want,
But just don't do it in the box...
[PLAYERS]
Lovely tackles,
What you worried for?
We can just plead ignorance,
As long as there's no gore.
Let's not kill them, let's just get the ball!

[Stefano Di Falco emerges from the shadows, heavily disguised as he is on the run from Re.]
[VELASQUEZ]
Pause the training, who's that man over there?
[DI FALCO]
It's me, Di Falco, the one on the run.
[VELASQUEZ]
My friend Stefano, how are we doing?
[DI FALCO]
I might have known,
You are doing so well,
Ricardo Velasquez, the team is in safe hands!
Lovely points haul!
[PLAYERS]
Come on Stefano, why all the fuss?
You're not Vega, you ould come join us.
Re hasn't come for you, you come train the team,
Join your players.
[DI FALCO]
I would not dare to make a peep.
[VELASQUEZ]
That's okay, let him have his peace.
[DI FALCO]
Thank you captain, I'll support you from afar!
[Stefano Di Falco slinks away into the shadows again.]

[VELASQUEZ]
Lovely tackles,
Take 'em as they fly.
I don't mind if you don't mind,
But just don't make them cry.
Lovely tackles,
Stefano doesn't mind,
If he says it's okay,
Then you can send the others flying.
Lovely tackles,
Every single day.
It's point trying to stop you,
Cos that's just the Acquan way.
[PLAYERS]
Come on, Captain,
You can do it too.
Don't let us have all the fun,
When you've got nowt to lose/
Lovely tackles,
Flying 'cross the pitch.
Just as well the ref don't see,
The hate that's in our head.
Don't they know we'll make these hits
Til we can win the group!

[Brenecia]

SCOOP OF THE DAY with MEREDITH FINCHE

Hi-di-hi! Meredith Finche here, and I'm just as stoked as you are to see the Patriots smash another team by a resounding 1-0 margin. Anyway, with any luck the streak will continue - remember, New Sideburn managed nine wins and a draw in their first qualification cycle, and we're looking to better it!

Someone who could really help with that would be Jon Slatesaver! Well, he's a better manager than Blake Lawless, having recently lead AFC Treason to the New Sideburn Premiership title, but I meant his playing days where he was a truly terrifying midfield enforcer. There was nobody you could hope to meet less than Jon in holding midfield, the man who could break your legs with a stare. Shame about his mullet.

Our next opponents are Tantamir! They're... really tight-lipped about themselves, but I'm sure they're rubbish. I mean, two points in six games? Really? I'm sure we can handily destroy them 1-0 again. If not... well... anyway, that's enough for today. See you next time~!

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Egaryx slowly opened one eye and intently surveyed the massive hoard he slept on. It took less than a minute for the Elder Wyrm to determine that nothing was amiss. Nothing had been disturbed. No scent or trace of anything or anyone at all was to be detected. Absolutely nothing at all. The dragon raised his aged head as the meaning of that sank in. Something had disturbed his slumber. Of that fact there was no doubt whatsoever. But what, other than an intrusion into his lair deep between the mountains of Eros, could have caused him to awaken? Surely here could be no power strong enough to bring him awake from the surface of this infernal region. Even Bua and The Mitrin Vega gave the scaled Wyrm-god a wide berth. What then could it have been?

The ancient one rose up on his feet and stretched. He could not return to his slumber without an answer as to what had taken place. The world above would pay dearly for trespassing upon his sleep. It had been far too long since the world had felt the true wrath of dragonkind. Might as well have some fun while he searched for his answers. Slowly Egaryx began to ascend the rubble-strewn corridor that would bring him back to the mortal realms of Atlantian Oceania.

• * * * * *

It was a clear night in the mountains surrounding Eros and the ruins of the one- time genetic engineering facility that had proved an integral part of returning the Vegai to more of a draconic peoples than their mostly human heritage could have ever done on its own. In just decades, centuries worth of racial “watering down” had been reversed and the Vegai set back on the proper lineage of their ancient draconic forefathers.

Yet for all of that good, evil had also been born here. Xacat Hyu’liel sat o a rocky outcropping looking over the ruined lab and thought of the may monsters he had slain in the past year. Giant spiders and scorpions. Beast men of all sorts. Even a new terror of a race in the Hruun- a carnivorous goat-like monster that thrives in the mountainous region. He had faced them all. And he was still standing to face the next evil when it reared its ugly head. Xacat looked at the destroyed lab that had once been his home with mixed emotions. He had been changed when the melt down had occurred. Changes that had helped to save his life on many occasions. Changes that had left him as a monster in his own right according to those who had seen him up close. Changes that had made him a hero to the people he had saved from the true monsters that had come to call Eros home.

Tonight he stalked one of the larger monsters he had ever encountered. A mighty ape-like creature that towered over the abandoned guard towers on the one occasion he had seen it. Weeks of contemplation had not brought him any answers as to how to deal with the creature so he had returned here to see if he could find the beast again. Perhaps following it back to wherever it called home would bring some new insight…


• * * * * *

Rain looked down on Eros from across the valley from where Xacat waited. Neither knew the other was about this ghostly place. In fact, neither even knew of the others existence. And yet Rain found herself in this place on this night as well by chance. She searched for a way to overthrow Istriannii and the DSE. Perhaps the answers could be found here.

Movement in the ruins drew her attention. Dogs. Or what had once been dogs now mutated into things far more sinister. She would have to be careful. One or two she could handle, but how many more lurked in the shadows? Suddenly the sky over Eros began to sizzle and pop as if fireworks were exploding. Four colored rifts, one purple, one green, one orange, and one blue, shimmered in the sky as the air hissed and popped loudly. And then with a boom that shook Rain from her feet, four figures appeared, crashing to the ruins below. In an instant one of the figures, obviously a female was on her feet which saved their lives as the dog-like monsters attacked. Rain decided immediately to aid the newcomers. Perhaps they and their strange arrival here would lead her to the answers she sought.
• * * * * *

Unbeknownst to her, Xacat was also quickly headed for the ruined lab. His noisy descent was maked by the sound of cracking tress and rocks. The beast was coming to investigate as well.

[Kalumba]

Peter Mgunbo chuckled as he placed the phone back in it's cradle and lit up a cigar. He had just pulled off one of the greatest political coups in Kalumban history, and one surely to influence the outcome of this years election. The man on the other end of the phone was perhaps the most influential figure amongst Kalumba's white population and the defence community.

And Peter had persuaded him to defect from the UANC into supporting the Kalumban Unity Movement, this would snatch another group of the UANC's core voters away from Omeru and put him furthur behind Chimpota. The main reason for the other mans defection had been the foolish attempt to smear Chimpota using his military record, but also general dissatisfaction with Omeru's policy on defence. He never committed to either position on the continued insurgency and many critics claimed this was the reason for the rising casualty rate as troops were cycled in and out of Bechuaneland province.

The attempted smear campaign could not have gone worse for the UANC, first of all their claim was wrong and the voters had reacted to this with anger seeing it as highly unsporting and a blow below the belt. But it had also forced Chimpota to release his full military record, and what was revealed to the public only endeared him more to them. Chimpota was not the mere Corporal in the Kalumban Afrosian Rifles that everyone had asumed, but had actually served with the Kalumban Independent Company with a year in the Tembe Scouts deployed on the border with Lydenburg, during the height of The Emergency.

Not only was he now seen to have served the nation but was seen as a hero who had fought for Kalumba in her hour of need. This was the image which was subtley being distributed by KUM affiliated media, Peter noted this with pleasure as he flicked through internet pages. Growing bored of work he checked the football result from the previous evening, and was pleasantly surprised to see Kalumba had recorded a draw against top seed Vilita and away too.

Kalumba had taken the lead with just two minutes played when Roberts lashed home from thirty yards, stunning the home crowd. But the home team soon showed their class and equalised when Lawaii slalomed through the Kudus defence and slid the ball underneath Ottbourne. From then on they had been entirely on the front foot and quickly scored a second from a corner. Amazingly Kalumba managed to hold out until the break and went out with a bit more fight in the second half, and actually managed to get a shot off as Cheeter blazed wide. But it couldn't last and Tzikas rifled home to the joy of the home fans. But with twenty minutes to play Kalumba pulled off another shock when Kevin Davis nodded a long ball down to the feet of Abouto, who curled a delicious shot just inside the left-hand upright. Despite the best efforts of Vilita the score remained at two all and Kalumba remain second in Group 19.

On The Lash With The Lads

Glory be! They are once again brewing Roddingtons Original Bitter, the nectar of the gods themselves. And they have stared it at the traditional price of a Shilling a pint, you read that right. One Shilling A Pint! Lordy, Lordy, Lordy did we get through a few pints of that last night, and a few both in the early hours and the closing hours of the morning. I know a few of us were still in the pub at noon and going strong so I reckon that the special price will soon be gone. Get yourself to a pub as soon as you can and drink until you drop.

As for being in the pub until noon, that was a mistake. We had tickets to the match and, to put it frankly, we still do. I can't remember why we thought it was better to watch in The Lamb and Flag, on some shitty beat up old box than in the flesh but we did and from what I remember we were spanked, and that is definatley a reflection on our current playing style. I said in an early OTLWTL that we could be proud if we got spanked playing football, but the team seem unable to keep up good quality football and just fall back on their defensive style. With these players we will never leave a game against a top team with our honour intact.

But we still have a few easy games to come so hopefully we can make up for our upcoming humiliation against the top sides. But back to the real news Roddies is back and it's cheap, so get down and enjoy some of the straw-gold nectar. There is nothing on this earth which can match such a hoppy pint of bitter, with it's creamy head served just cooler than room temperature. Get down here and get on the lash to forget the dreadful performance last night.

Mr Spleen

O, the views of Mr Spleen are his and his alone, and as such should be ignored in it's entirety.

(Editors Note-We recieved Mr Spleen's column only a few hours ago and have spent that time removing most of the expletives and running the text through so many spelling checks to try and make it make sense. We feel it prudent to point out that Kalumba in fact managed a decent draw against the best team in our group and are looking far better than they have for a long time. And as for Mr Spleen's view being his and his alone, that still applies but I doubt he will recall any of this weeks edition when someone finally chucks him out of their boozer, Dick Head I'm looking at you.)

[Qazox]

New Bruxen Hotel and Casino Field, New Bruxen-

Qazox came home and held off a late Alexanderburn rally to improve to 5-1-0 as the qualifying stage reaches the one-third pole. Leading 2-0, Logan Massie's blast from 15 yards out cut the lead in half; but it took a diving save by Holly Wood on a Tristan van der Pol blister from 5 yards away.

Qazox now begins the supposed toughest portion, starting at Felix Tuesday night, as 5 of the Wolves' next 7 games are on the road.


GOALS:
Hilton- 33'
McLaren- 59'
Massie- 84'

[Saintland]

OOC: Time to recap the matches from while I was gone. Hopefully, it'll be 2 per day after today, but it would be cutting it too close to cutoff for Free Republics if I didn't start on that RP now. I used Aquitayne's roster from the BoF since they have yet to post one for the World Cup.

Saintland 3, Aquitayne 0

(SP) Qualification for World Cup 65 began today, as the team from Aquitayne visited the Kingdom of Saintland. Aquitayne finished 15th in the Casaran stage at the recent Baptism of Fire, before being eliminated by Sudagiu in the Round of 16, but this was their first ever World Cup qualifying. Unlike the Sanctii, Aquitayne would prove to be unsuccessful in their debut. Stephanus Vagionius scored a hat trick for the Sanctii, leading them to a victory at Royal Stadium to start qualifying for World Cup 65 on the right foot and reaching the milestone of 20 career international goals in the process. "I don't know what happened today. For some reason, I seemed to place my shots in exactly the right places. In the past, it has seemed like I'm at my best when we're playing Audioslavia, but today I played like that against Aquitayne, a team that we should have beaten anyway. I'm satisfied with the result and I look forward to playing Sangti tomorrow. I still can't believe they had the audacity to disagree with us on the caliber of play in Baptism of Fire 52. Experts in international soccer throughout the multiverse say that Baptism of Fire 51 was the strongest Baptism of Fire field for many cycles. We don't expect any difficulties against those BoFers. We all agree that Wight is going to be tough to beat and I believe they showed Narsora just how tough they will be. We certainly aren't overlooking the Class of 52, but I would be stunned if any of them pick up a victory against us. We can't afford to leave points on the table against the Sangtis of the world when we're going to be competing with Wight and Karditan for 2 qualifying spots." - Stephanus Vagionius

Prior to the start of the match, the Royal Army marched across the Royal Stadium pitch as the Royal Air Force flew over. Then, the Royal Air Force turned around and flew over the pitch once again to mark the start of the 2nd World Cup qualifying campaign for the Kingdom of Saintland. After a number of other ceremonies, Cantus Virginum came out to sing the national anthem and a number of patriotic songs. The match would finally start around 90 minutes after the scheduled start time.

The match started with the Sanctii on the offensive immediately. Prince Andreas would set up a 3rd minute shot attempt by Silvester Flaccus. Flaccus's shot was bounced out for a corner. The Prince Andreas corner would be headed away by Cody Kilian, as Aquitayne went on the counter-attack. The clearance went to Neil Gram. Gram ran furiously to the other side of the field, where he crossed past Matthaeus Belaeus to Kurt Hawkin. Hawkin shot at the Sanctii goal. It looked for a moment like Aquitayne would score, but Alessandro Seius made a remarkable save to keep the match scoreless, holding onto the ball. Seius tossed it to Lucas Aufidius and Aufidius worked his magic, sending the ball to Prince Andreas deep downfield. Prince Andreas delivered a perfect pass to Stephanus Vagionius and the Sanctii striker was through on goal. Vagionius aimed for the lower right-hand corner. Liam Kneasson dove, but could not get to it. Suddenly, the Kingdom of Saintland led 1 goal to nil and 5 full minutes had not yet passed on the clock.

A few minutes later, Aquitayne would have another scoring opportunity. This time, Matthew Thakkar crossed to Neil Gram and Gram took a shot at Seius's goal. It bounced off the post and rebounded to Max Widley. Widley took a shot, but Georgius Catiotus reacted in time, using the side of his leg to block the shot. Somehow, the shot bounced off of Catiotus's leg and reached Ioannes Poenius. Poenius ran down the sideline with the ball coast-to-coast. Finally, he saw Prince Andreas open and he passed to the Prince of Saintland. Prince Andreas faked a shot and Liam Kneasson bought the fake. However, the pass to Vagionius would be intercepted by Javier Herrman. Herrman passed to Darryl Skinfield and Skinfield booted it as hard as he could, clearing it in the Sanctii side of the field. Aufidius would win that header and the match would soon be bogged down in midfield.

The match was relatively uneventful until around a half-hour had elapsed. As the half-hour mark approached, Petrus Mamilius intercepted a pass from Andre Badalamenti that was seemingly intended for Neil Gram. Mamilius passed to Paulus Flaccus and Flaccus passed to Nicolaus Poenius, who had come forward along the sideline. The speedy Poenius moved toward the middle of the field and passed forward to Silvester Flaccus, who was inside the scoring area. Flaccus placed a hard shot high and down the middle. Liam Kneasson batted it out for a corner. The Prince of Saintland took his time taking the corner, booting it to the far side of the goal. Vagionius would leap and the Sanctii striker would head it into the net. Suddenly, the Kingdom of Saintland led Aquitayne 2 goals to nil as Vagionius had scored his 2nd goal with just 12 minutes and added time to play in the first half. Seius would save a tough shot from Max Widley right before halftime and the Sanctii would hold onto their 2 to nil lead going into the break.

During halftime, Cantus Virginum came back out to perform again. Iulietta Perquitienus sang during halftime today. The girls in the crowd screamed as the Cantus Virginum singer, who was not much older than they, sang a stinging rebuke to Feministvs Sanctvsterra and the WA agenda. Then, she followed it up with a song about the importance of saving oneself for one's future husband. She finished with a song promoting submission to rightful authority. This was a rare solo performance, but Iulietta Perquitienus did a great job today and the crowd showed their appreciation for the talented young ladies of Cantus Virginum and best of all, the domestic terrorists were nowhere to be found. It was clear that Feministvs Sanctvsterra was ashamed to show their face around ladies with sufficient character to reject the siren song of "equality" with men. Such things are contrary to nature and only lead to misery for both man and woman. Contrary to the allegations that our Kingdom is anti-woman, it is actually the foreign egalitarians that are anti-woman and also anti-man, because they rebel against God's plan for life in this multiverse.

After halftime, the Sanctii came out on the attack. Prince Andreas would get through on goal around 2 minutes after the interval. His first shot was stopped by Liam Kneasson, but it bounced back to the Prince of Saintland. Prince Andreas attempted the shot a second time, but his shot went flying over the top of the bar for a goal kick. A few minutes later, Silvester Flaccus attempted a long shot, but Kneasson got to it. Then, Kenneth Menega intercepted a Prince Andreas cross. An Aquitayne counter-attack failed as Seius easily saved a Neil Gram shot. Seius booted it long and Mamilius headed it forward to Prince Andreas. The Prince of Saintland was able to cross to Vagionius this time as the hour mark approached. Kneasson ran forward and Vagionius tried his luck. The Vagionius shot bounced off the left hand of the Aquitayne keeper, who could only watch helplessly as it bounced in for the 3rd Sanctii goal. Vagionius celebrated a hat trick.

Following the hat trick, Prince Andreas decided that it was time to protect the lead. Vagionius and the Flaccus brothers left the match, as defensive-minded midfielder Andreas Inventius and the Jucundius brothers came in. The Sanctii switched to their 7-2-1-0 formation. This change would be effective, as Marcus Jucundius would block a 73rd minute shot by Max Widley and an 81st minute shot by Kurt Hawkin. Petrus Jucundius would come through in added time with a clean tackle against Neil Gram in the open field to deny Aquitayne a last scoring opportunity. While in possession, the Sanctii skillfully wasted time, applying their tactics perfectly. The match would finish as a 3 to nil victory for the Kingdom of Saintland. The Sanctii had won their 2nd consecutive World Cup qualifying opener!

Following the victory, the Kingdom of Saintland is now 1 of 4 teams sitting on 3 points after the first match. Wight, Karditan and Jedi8246 also won today, so those 4 teams are currently tied for the group lead. Wight takes on Karditan tomorrow in a match featuring the top 2 seeds in Group 16. The Sanctii will travel to Sangti, a newcomer from the Esportiva region, home of numerous strong sporting nations. Everybody in the Kingdom is well aware that our arch-rivals New Sideburn are the reigning champions of their regional championship. Yes, Esportiva has an official regional championship, something the World Changers currently does not have, although King Paulus XV and the "Consuls" from the Free Republics are in talks to find other sporting nations in the region and organize a regional championship of our own. Tomorrow's match in Sangti will be broadcast on Royal One, so be sure to tune in and watch the National Soccer Team face the Sangtians.

[Wight]

.

[West Angola]

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

WEST ANGOLA UPENDS SANDWICH TERRITORIES, GRABS 2ND PLACE

Phillip Garren shouts instructions to his players during the match against Sandwich Territories

NAMIBE- Last night, West Angola clambered back into second place in group eleven with a much-needed 2-1 victory over Sandwich Territories. The win allowed West Angola to vault back into a position more reflective of their seed, as they now occupy second place instead of the embarrassing fifth they held previously. Luke Parrish nailed the eventual game-winning goal in the 64th minute, touching off a wild celebration both in the stadium and outside in Victory Square. Parrish and Wilson have continued to match each other goal-for-goal, and each has a total of three, with swingman Jan Pawel claiming his lone point of the tournament in West Angola’s opening-match win over Joshulia.

This qualifying campaign began with high hopes that West Angola could build on its success of World Cup 64, a run which featured a dramatic upset of Bears Armed and the team’s first qualification in its history, but a 0-0 draw against Beldonia reignited the feud between Coach Phillip Garren’s and the Sporting Ministry when a memo suggesting his replacement was leaked to this newspaper. Garren proceeded to coach the best match of his life, a 1-0 victory over Astograth that sparked a West Angolan rally, a three-match winning streak that has carried them back into qualifying contention.

West Angola next takes on 148th-ranked Kericia on the road in a match that they need to win in order to maintain momentum in a tight Group Eleven race. Currently, Astograth and Sandwich Territories sit just a single point back of the crimson-and-white, and Filopines and Kericia are only three back, well within striking distance should West Angola slip up.

-  Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarius                              6    5   1   0    17    7  +10    16
 2 West Angola                          6    4   1   1     7    3   +4    13
 3 Astograth                            6    4   0   2     9    3   +6    12
 4 Sandwich Territories                 6    4   0   2    13   11   +2    12
 5 Filopines                            6    3   1   2    15    9   +6    10
 6 Kericia                              6    3   1   2    17   15   +2    10
 7 Luzvimindia                          6    1   3   2    13   14   −1     6
 8 Carizzal                             6    0   2   4    10   18   −8     2
 9 Beldonia                             6    0   2   4     5   15  −10     2
10 Joshulia                             6    0   1   5     6   17  −11     1

[San Potato]

Probably the best result we could hope for


Following a heartbreaking loss against Piddlehinton, San Potato managed to bounce back at home. Sort of.

In front of 225 thousand spectators. A lowly ranked team against one of the best teams in the world. Even for a qualifying match, for The Holy Empire, it might be an easy win for them. But for San Potato, this was like the World Cup Finals (if they ever make it, that is.)

This match last night was with no question, the best match in group 14. Nobody knew what kind of match this was. The perfect way to finish a rather eventful week for San Potato. Controversies everywhere. New, silly rules made after tons of protests against the government. Lack of potatoes and a stunning number of radishes which might have nearly ruined our economy.

Both sides played their best. The numbers don't lie.

The first half started off rather stale. While it did show some good defensive effort, it was not what the crowd wanted from two teams with an extremely offensive game-plan.

Soon enough, The Holy Empire started off the actual game a third through the first half. As soon as they got the ball back from our goal kick started a series of passes back and forth through the San Potato midfield and defense. A very long offensive build-up with an estimated 30 passes, only their goalkeeper, the dalek, did not have a single touch on the ball. After a short series of passes, a lobbed through ball by John from the right wing to captain Lethbridge-Stewart which gave him a clear lane to the box and slotted it in calmly.

The crusaders did have one short-lived attempt for a goal.
Youngster Ohinmaa managed to find Doode sneaking past the defensive line but the goalkeeper proved to be too hard to score against, and it sent the ball so high up that the officials needed to get a new ball as it was lost. Forever.

San Potato did get a goal in during additional time, as Antonio dribbled past the offense to the halfway point and a through pass to Hardaway Jr to somewhere outside the box. Jr dribbled past 2 defenders and got a high chip shot past the dalek for a 1-1 tie just before the whistle blew.


After a short break while the coaches talk about tactics and stuff, the teams went back onto the field for the second half with some substitutions. 39 year old Dan Randolph came in for Arvi Ohinmaa, who had a great game but was clearly out of energy by the half.

The Holy Empire kicked off the second half with a beautiful showcase of dribbling expertise by Storix before trying to score with a cheeky shot. Devin Johnson managed to backtrack and turn the ball back for a corner kick. The corner kick saw the head of the cyborg, who headed in a goal to the bottom left to give The Holy Empire a 2-1 lead.

At the hour mark, the Holy Empire doubled their lead with a monster knuckleball free kick from Lethbridge-Stewart which proved to be too much for Devin Johnson to handle due to the spin placed in.

With just 30 minutes left, the crusaders needed something to tie the game, but nothing seemed to click for them. For some reason, the chemistry was suddenly gone and all the passes were terribly misplaced.

Things went from bad to worse when Devin James tore his hamstring while running up the field. The only person that could fill James was Marcus Person.
And that was what Hardaway did. Person went in for James to finish up the last 20 minutes.

Finally, with the match nearly over, Dan Randolph put San Potato back in the game after Joe Johnson got a lob pass from Doode, did a flick behind to start of his run up to cut the defense. Following that, Johnson passed to Hardaway Jr and he did a back heel pass to an open Randolph, before he slotted it in right through the middle.


Johnson tied the game for San Potato. A foul from Susan Foreman meant San Potato got a free kick from 30 yards out with just a few seconds left. Antonio lobbed it over the wall to Randolph at the left wing. Randolph's cross found Hardaway Jr, who headed it to Johnson for a beautiful Volley up the top right which got the ball stuck in the pole. Damn this guy is clutch. Time and time again he saved the crusaders from defeat and he just did it again against World no.4.

The Holy Empire had one last attack, but the ball went out of bounds as the referee whistled for full time.

Stats

The Holy Empire-San Potato
52-Possession-48
15-Shots-12
8-SOG-6
4-Saves-3

Goals
Lethbridge-Stewart-15',62'
Cyborg-49'
Hardaway Jr-45+'
Dan Randnolph-86'
Joe Johnson-90+'


Substitutions
45'- Dan Randolph in
Arvi Ohinmaa out
70'- Marcus Person in
Devin James out

Injuries
Devin James
Torn Hamstring-5 months



-Your daily Meat