FLAGS 3: Everything Thread (Anaia)

[Anaia Region]

Welcome to the Third Festival of Local Anaian Games & Sports!

Hello and welcome to the everything thread for the third fantastic edition of the Festival of Local Anaian Games and Sports, an olympics for the type of people that would feel right at home taking part in every single event at a country fair, from pig wrestling to the hot dog eating competition.

Approximately three OOC and various IC years ago (a statement that is even more various since the invention of Rosmarian Time), Anaia was born through a variety of bizarre and equally valid events that culminated in the Declaration of Foxchester. To celebrate the fact that that has happened and hasn't shown any signs of slowing down just yet, nations from across the Anaia region will be sending their most clever, most creative, most classy, and most confident citizens to compete in a unique gauntlet of sports, games, and cultural curiosities.

In order to get a piece of the action, simply be in the Anaia region, and sign up below with your nation’s name and three (3) brave competitors, with perhaps a short bio on each of them to get the creative juices flowing. These competitors will compete in all of the events that this edition of the FLAGS has to offer, and will showcase their ability to be jacks-of-all trades and compete for the chance to win the coveted ANAIAN UNITY CROWN, a crown that some people in the more backwards parts of the region are convinced has magical powers. Last time around, the crown went to Cobrio, after a strong performance from the Cobre delegation. We hope they're looking after the crown well, and hopefully haven't made it the centrepiece of a cultural ritual, as several other nations will be looking to win the crown for themselves this time around.

FLAGS events and their details will be submitted by users, alongside details of how exactly to scorinate them (be as precise as possible please, or better yet, provide software!), but will be scorinated by an as yet to be determined FLAGS Council (of keen volunteers). They will be responsible for collapsing all of the entries down into a smaller number of scorination windows, and ensuring that events are scorinated on time. To register your interest to be on the council, please send a telegram to Mertagne, who is co-ordinating efforts this time around.

Signups for events will be open for two weeks after this post has been made, and sign ups for competitors may remain open for additional time after that. A schedule will be made available in this OP once it has been finalised.

Best of luck in the games, feats, and challenges to come. Let's continue to see the best of what Anaia has to offer!

Signups:
Audioslavia
Ko-oren
Mertagne
Osarius
Cobrio
The Plough Islands
Legalese
Kimi-Suomi
Luwhel-Besny
Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land

Events:
Cutoff One - 2024/05/23 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne)
Ice Flugtag by Kimi-Suomi
Ko-orienteering by Ko-oren

Cutoff Two - 2024/05/25 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Legalese)
The Anaian Pentathlon by Osarius
Axe and Shovel Throwing by Legalese

Cutoff Three - 2024/05/27 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne)
Neorudo-Dannin Balloon Race by Mertagne
Olympic Fen-Running by Luwhel-Besny
*BONUS EVENT* - Bostopian Cultural Tour by Bostopia

Cutoff Four - 2024/05/29 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Legalese)
Coo Runnings by Audioslavia
Inshore Yacht Racing by The Plough Islands

Cutoff Five - 2024/05/31 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne)
The Labyrinthine Tesseract by Koroa City
Friendship Celebration by Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land

[Audioslavia]

Event:
Coo Runnings

Izotzazubia has the highest average elevation of all major cities in the nation's mountainous Herradura region, a vast sierra of snowcapped mountains with high valleys housing a simply unrealistic amount of major cities.

The especially high altitude and surrounding peaks of Izotzazubia make for frigid weather in the winter, which often leads to cars refusing to start. Cue the infamous 'Zozi Roll', a ridiculous technique based on the belief that you can start your engine more easily if you just release the handbrake and let the car skid downhill across the icy cobbles while you frantically ker-choo-choo-choo the engine. It's a terrible idea that doesn't work, but try telling that to a local and you'll get an accusation of cultural insensitivity thrown at you in between the left jab and right uppercut. There's only one Zozian who might agree with you.

Txordan Bogdan used to call himself a simple farm-hand, which is exactly the sort of thing a simple farm-hand would never say and entirely the sort of thing a moderately successful cattle slaughterhouse magnate would call himself in order to present himself as 'one of you' during a future career in populist politics. One particularly frosty morning many moons ago - the sort of frosty morning that only serves to harden the mounds of yellow snow that have already been shovelled from a town's roads onto a town's stone walls - Txo Bogdan decided to Zozi Roll his car down the winding cobbled road into town in order to complete a number of errands. The plan had been to first take breakfast at the Shilton Hotel, home of an expensive restaurant that catered not only to rich people with terrible taste but also to longstanding yet surprisingly racist curly-haired goalkeepers, before heading to deliver a number of large bloodstained aprons to his Apron Cleaning Guy, and finally going to the locksmith to get a replacement key for his Bullgate. A Bullgate is exactly what you think it is. It's a gate that separates a number of angry bulls from the surrounding neighbourhood. Txordan had figured that his herd of bulls wouldn't know that the gate was unlocked, and that they could all just barge it open and sprint down the street as violently as possible whenever they felt like it. He figured the bulls, who had never tested the gate's integrity before, wouldn't try to test it this morning. And especially not while he was trying to start his car.

He was gloriously wrong.

The famed local douche continued frantically trying to start his increasingly battered car all the way down the winding hills, as it careened to and fro between the storey-high frozen snowdrifts and unforgiving stone walls of the winding hillside streets picking up speed all the while. Behind him, a herd of stampeding bulls chased him. It was like they knew. From time to time, an occasional fridge-sized head would bump his car into a spin, barely affecting its trajectory as the tyres entirely failed to find purchase on the frozen cobbled streets, serving only to make Txo lose his lunch. All he could do was saw uselessly at his steering wheel and pray the car stayed straight and avoided anything that might stop it, as the furious stampede hurtled (or 'furious herd stampeded', you can have it both ways) downhill behind him. With his speed maintained by the various snowdrifts, the sound of thundering hooves began to quieten, which Txo assumed must have been because he was getting away from the bulls.

Wreung.

As we've said. Txo was a cattle farmer. Cattle farming involves aprons and blood and, in this case, bloodied aprons. Bloodied aprons that had frozen solid in the sheer cold. Frozen bloodied aprons that were now falling out of the open boot and hitting the ground like tea-trays, sliding downhill after Txo. Soon enough, the Bulls realised that it was easier, faster and less tiring to simply jump onto one and surf their way down, gaining on the bad man in his big car all the while. It wasn't long before they were starting to run into the back of Txo once again with some bulls even overtaking him.

Eyewitness accounts tell of one bull doing a kick-flip. This is disputed.

Finally, the aprons, bulls, car and txo cascaded down into the town square. The herd, not necessarily preoccupied with murdering Txo any more, seemed placated by their morning luge. Txo's car hit a corner of a monument to a local communist, flipped onto its top and rocked gently in the morning breeze like an orca asking for a tummy-rub. A bruised and battered Txo lay helplessly on the ceiling of his car. He did not know it, but he had invented a sport.

Txobogdanning is a sport wherein competitors use either frozen-apron-like tea trays (these days with long skates on each side) or large car-like monocoques on skates to travel downhill at great speed. This is usually done through specially designed courses that look like a long tube with high, curved walls on the corners, but once a year this is done over the treacherous cobbled hills of Izotzazubia in the infamous Bull Luge, now known exclusively as Coo Runnings. The course is the very same navigated by Txo Bogdan all those years ago.

Each team will pilot a three-person 'Bob'. The 'bob' is not one of those sleek, immaculately designed aerodynamic carbon-fibre bobsleighs you might have seen in the olympics, but instead is basically this Morris Traveller but with its roof-rack on the bottom instead of the wheels. The three-person team will race together from Bogdan's Beef Byproducts Ltd at the top of the hill to the Red Monument in the old town square. All teams will push off from the start at exactly 7 o'clock in the morning. Twenty seconds later, a herd of angry bulls will be let loose behind you with the aim of upending your bob and/or angrily bunting you over a fence. The record for the journey from top to bottom is a speedy three minutes nineteen seconds, but don't worry about all that. Sure, you get a gold for finishing first, silver for second etcetera, but just surviving Coo Runnings is cause for celebration. And lots of rum.

Scorinator: =if(rand(*2)>1,1,0). If '1', a random time is given between 4 and 8 minutes.

---

Audioslavia's Competitors:
Papegaaiduiker - An Audioslavian of Daineri descent, Papegaaiduiker is fourth in line for the throne of Audioslavia. What is the throne of Audioslavia? Stay tuned and you might find out. It basically means Papegaaiduiker has a heap of military training, a small emergency stash of clothes in Koroa City and is never separated from his phone.
Diane Ewell - Campaigner for Two-Years-Per-Cycle in the recent referendum. Diane has no sporting ability but claims to be able to tell a liar from 20 paces (she can't) and lists as her special talent the ability to identify the origin of a red wine by how it smells when mixed with carpet-cleaner and sofa.
Jeremy Jaffacake - By popular demand. With emphasis on the word 'demand'. Will find ingenus ways to cheat that are so clever that they don't work.

[Ko-oren]

Look, we really wanted to come up with another weird reason to traverse the Ko-orenite archipelago. Last time we had an excuse to send you on a trail to find the Anaian Crown, but that's been found and has been shipped off to another country, and to be frank, we're all out of ideas. So, in another display of rare nationalistic pride - mostly directed at the land itself rather than what the people living on it have done to it in ensuing millennia - we're sending you on another route through the wilderness.

Ko-orienteering

This time around, we're doing a little bit of everything. We have two trails for you, and at the end we're adding together each athlete's times for a final overall score. Yes, the first stage (being nearly twice as long) is way more important for the final score. More on Ko-orenite orienteering here, as well as the first few paragraphs here.

For each stage, athletes are given a map, a compass, and an electronic waypoint recording device.

Stage 1: The Great Outdoors
This stage will take approximately 90 minutes to complete - unless you get horribly lost, or lucky - where contestants will get a map with a number of waypoints which must be visited in order. The hilly forests west of Edihlbahl are the prime location for this - watch out for the uneven terrain and hundreds of streams and brooks. At least it's rarely too warm or too cold to function - if it's not raining, we think this'll be a nice day out for all.

Stage 2: The City
This stage will take approximately 50 minutes to complete, and in this one contestants are given a map with waypoints and they're all responsible of plotting out their preferred way of hitting each waypoint en route to the finish line. The order doesn't matter, which is liberating to some and choice overload for others. This one takes place in Amahne's entertainment district: wide boulevards, theatres and (TV) studios - it may all feel a little corporate here and there but we swear it's culturally relevant.

---

Competitors
Nitsei Tseimuzen (m, 42), Ko-oren's youngest member of parliament. Comes from Arakurathi, on Sohlatal, one of the eastern islands, and represents the Regional Party, who fight for opportunities, plenty of employment options, etcetera, in the periphery - Sohlatal definitely counts as that. Tseimuzen has rolled into parliament straight out of a 'career' of student bodies, various local committees, and applied to multiple political parties before the Regionals accepted him on the ballot. Nobody's quite sure what his personal platform is.

Lakhuk Ardehnira (m, 20), a promising university athlete, excelling in the discipline of whatever activity is happening on campus that week. Ultimate frisbee, snowball fights, anything to avoid actual studying. We asked him what his major was and he seemed as surprised as we were.

Maxie Ulhahlhohdhen (f, 26), mathlete, military nerd (and very happy Ko-oren has a navy now), and here for digital clout. Plans to livestream every event. Has definitely leaked military info on the War Thunder forums before.

[Mertagne]

MERTAGNE AT THE FLAGS 3
CONTESTANTS

Mertagne is back for the FLAGS, as three intrepid and brave citizens have, through one way or another (it's through winning a game show, it's a useful prize that doesn't involve handing over any real cash), found themselves representing the nation on the regional stage in an attempt to go after the coveted Anaian Unity Crown.

Ruth POSONBY
Nickname: "Ruthless" Ruth ⚑ Profession: Comedian ⚑ Hometown: Blackave, Harrdian ⚑ Traits: Fiery, Crass, Nimble
Ruth earned her FLAGS place by winning an episode of popular comedy panel game show, Outfox the Foreman!

Nick LANNHAM
Nickname: "Labyrinth" Lannham ⚑ Profession: Chef ⚑ Hometown: Vandein, Sparth ⚑ Traits: Untidy, Energizing, Tall
Nick won his FLAGS place by winning this year's series of obstacle course challenge game show Galahad’s Crash Course!

Shaad CHAUDRY
Nickname: The Sultan of Swag ⚑ Profession: Graphic Designer ⚑ Hometown: Keers, Plitterland ⚑ Traits: Patient, Wise, Strong
Shaad earned his FLAGS place by winning the latest series of quiz show HighQ!

---

EVENT
Neorudo-Dannin Balloon Race

Mertagne's annual Neorduo-Dannin Balloon Race, typically held in the late summer, will see additional contestants this year - the competitors of the FLAGS. This event, which takes place over several stages, will see competitors take place in their teams of three in the first stage of the racing competition, which sets off from Neorudo and takes the competitors to Kurtz. Entrants will be accompanied by an experienced balloonist to help them pilot the hot-air balloon. In order to drive social engagement with the FLAGS this year, each balloon will be fitted with a small engine and propeller, the usage of which can only be granted by fans, who can vote for their favourite balloon to receive a speed boost at opportune times. It is expected that the competitors will livestream or otherwise broadcast their event from the balloons, which are fitted with satellite internet transceivers courtesy of service provider retiarii. Each balloon will have a design that will be randomly determined by the local Neorudo creatives and corporate sponsors.

How to scorinate: xkoranate, Men's marathon. A hot-air balloon goes at a maximum of about 15kph and Neorudo is about 35km away from Kurtz as the crow bird flies. Those that DNF are guided safely to the ground at the advice of the experienced balloonist.

[Osarius]

I won't be around to take part (as either Osarius or Cobrio) ... butI do have an event for you all: The Anaian Pentathlon

Underwater Basket Weaving, Crossbar Challenge, Fox Petting, Backwards 100 metre Sprint, and Dice Rolling.

The linked document also contains a link to a zip folder containing the XML sport files for xkoranate. Should output points as part of the results for each event too.

EDIT: change of plans. have an entry.

Toussaint "Touey" Lupin returns yet again. Everyone's favourite distinctly mediocre, self-aware, ultra-privileged rich kid has once again volunteered himself. Turns out there are a couple of things Touey is actually good at, though. He's a remarkably popular DJ, for example -- you'll remember I told you he's the flaming skull guy, right? shhhh! that's still a "secret" -- but also, Touey is just a pretty damn good leader. His skill is in connecting with people, and given the nature of the Festival, he just feels like this is where he belongs.

Phoenixperson, Osarius' "pre-eminent superhero" also returns! So, quick catch-up. Turns out, Phoenixperson and Touey have actually become pretty good friends. It's a long story, but the quick explanation is flames. Flaming skull, flaming bird, common ground, yadda yadda yadda. Phoenixperson takes their knowledge of Touey's secret alter ego very seriously, but is prone to making comments that do more than hint at things. Like yesterday, when they noted Touey was tired, and remarked that it was "probably because [he] was protecting the world from musical crimes all night again". Yeahhhh Phoenixperson is still very strange. Touey insists there's more to them than meets the eye, though.

Valentina Martoni rounds out the team. She's a languages tutor from Firewood, by trade and "can neck a yard of ale in seven seconds". We did not ask for proof of this. Valentina's place in the Osarian delegation came via random selection from eligible and willing citizens, and she's quite openly stated her excitement at visiting Koroa City. "I heard you can do anything there," she said. Frustratingly for Touey, he and Valentina know each other from their university days, and uh... they're not exactly on great terms. Or as Valentina puts it "Touey is a rich prick". Feels harsh, but who are we to judge?

[Cobrio]

No event from the Cobre delegation this time but have some entrants:

Odell McIntosh-Ekezie is a name you might recognise if you're a football fan... He uh... He used to manage the Osarian national team. He didn't have a double-barrelled name back then, though. He was also born in Osarius. And has an Osarian passport. So why is he representing Cobrio? Well... He moved to Odikolo, into his Aunt's house (side note: his aunt entered as one of the Cobre delegates last time around; you remember her, the wizened old lady who seemed remarkably athletically capable? Yeahhh... Odell's great-aunt). After a period of soul-searching, Odell moved back to his mother's home country, acquired Cobre citizenship (via blood right), and has been embarking on training to become a full-fledged djeli -- which he believes to be his birthright. Apparently, learning about the various cultures of Anaia during the FLAGS is going to help him achieve that aim.

Ziyanda Okafor is a talented chef, with her own TV show. "Auntie Zizi" as she is affectionately known, has dedicated much of her fifty-four years of life to studying the various plants of not only Cobrio, but every nation she has been able to travel to, in her quest to understand culture through food. Her husband, Emeka, suggested she put herself forward for the FLAGS as a way to gain exposure to many cultures at once. He did not, however, explain that many of the events would require her to undertake athletic activity. Something she is very much neither fond of, nor suited to.

Emeka Okafor is Ziyanda's husband. He was nominated by the public vote after the "nibblings" (the name Ziyanda's fans give themselves) campaigned for him. He felt honoured by their support, completely oblivious to the fact it was meant as a punishment for taking Auntie away from them for a while, and putting her through what is likely to be a difficult ordeal. It should be noted that despite Emeka once being a fairly talented amateur boxer in his youth, he is now even less suited to athletic activity than his wife. Decades of eating Ziyanda's cooking will do that to a man, eh?

[The Plough Islands]

COMPETITORS of the PLOUGH ISLANDS

The broad-strokes stereotype of the Commonwealth of the Plough Islands is one of a forgotten backwater; a naïve, paranoid, sheltered existence on mistbound rocks in the Celestial Ocean; of pine trees, propaganda, porridge, potatoes, and pale people in dark sweaters; of the misbegotten results of stranding eighteenth century settlers on a deserted island with nothing save for the Communist Manifesto and a complete back catalogue of the Wisden Cricketer's Almanack. These are not without some basis in reality; the autarky, cricket obsession, endless mists, evergreen forests broken up by oat and wheat fields, and elaborately detailed knitted sweaters are all real, as is the deep rooted and genuine affection for the Party of Socialists of the Plough Islands that has led the country as a Marxist-Leninist one-party state since independence from Britain in 1960.
However, as the third annual Festival of Anaian Games and Sports rolls around, there are always hints that there is more going on behind gentle, unassuming eyes and cashmere scarves than might be initially apparent. There has always been a paradox in a country that normally keeps a firm physical and mental distance from the wider multiverse being one of the most fervent supporters of the Anaian project, but the hundred and forty thousand people of the islands wear their isolationism lightly; for them, the lack of cultural exchange is a matter of geography, rather than politics - flights into Echodale Interdimensional Airport often take several days even in good weather - and the Anaian flag serves them best as a reliable and consistent way of determining actual and potential foe from trusted acquaintance, if not quite friend.
Cde Eugene Levenko, of the Ministry of Defence & Foreign Affairs in Sutton, who coordinated the entries for the country in previous years, has been posted abroad as the new People's Ambassador to the Federal Kingdom of Krytenia, and so overall responsibility for the Plough Islander mission has passed (over some initial protestations, when it was pointed out that the answer to "do I really look like an expert in organising delegations to multilateral events?" was "yes, you are, and you won a gold medal for dancing last year") to perennial competitor Lóreithel - the most loyal elven citizen of the Plough Islands, and also, by way of default, the least loyal elven citizen of the Plough Islands.
Once again, Lóreithel has selected two of his students as the other two competitors; last year, graphic designer Cassandra Farmer won third place in the Cobre "Panna K.O." competition, and went on to win both regional and academic championships in ice hockey, but despite her best efforts, classical clarinetist Heather Tremayne's main contributions were to come sixth from last in the Audioslavian "Coo Runnings" event, and spend most of the yacht race being violently seasick. This year, the music professor has chosen former Young Foxes batter Jeremy Weaver - the younger brother of Plough Islands cricketers Andrew and Shauna - and music student and "percussionist Flora Merchant; "percussion" in her case partially referring to solo works on tuned instruments with complex notation, but mostly to drumming in a succession of angry, fast, and spiky bands on evenings and weekends in Lainemouth.
Below can be found more biographical information on the Plough Islander entrants; this is presented partially in the form of names and vital statistics, and partially in the form of questions stolen from the venerable British institution of Smash Hits magazine. Please feel free to reach out if you need any more information!

Lóreithel ☭ not known ☭ Professor of Music, University of the Plough Islands
Where is your favourite place in the world? "I regret to say, not the Plough Islands. Although Lainemouth is where I would rather be than anywhere else at the moment."
Can you tell us a secret? "...no? Surely, if I were to tell you, it would hardly be much of a secret any more?"
Which animal would you most like to be? "Honestly, something unremarkable, like a tabby cat. Although, on reflection, people do bother cats a lot...maybe a seagull or an albatross?"
Have you ever wished you were two metres tall? [long pause] "...not at the moment. But, yes."
What have you got in your pockets? "Not much. My card from the University, seven shillings...eight shillings, and a book of matches."

Jeremy Kevin Castro Weaver ☭ 26 December 2005, Sutton ☭ Second-year biology student, University of the Plough Islands
Who were your heroes when you were growing up? "I was the youngest brother, so it was Shauna and Andrew by default, and they are brilliant cricketers who make what they do look so, so easy that I tried very hard to emulate that for a long time. It took me a difficult tour to the Sarian and Sylestone with the Young Foxes to convince me my future lay elsewhere."
Do you believe in spontaneous combustion? "I mean, there has to be an explanation for it, and I suspect it never is spontaneous - there is no scientific explanation for it happening entirely by itself, and people are good at seeing things and constructing a narrative after the fact. That might be boring but it is sadly true."
Were you ever in a school play? "Yes! I was Cicero in Julius Caesar in higher school, which essentially meant wearing a stringy fake beard and appearing partway through an act to dispense some sort of wisdom. In one rehearsal, I had an argument with the girl playing the wife of Brutus and she stole my beard. I honestly suspect nobody noticed."
How many hours' sleep do you need? "I can normally get by on four or five, and I used to on cricket tours, because there is so much to think about and talk about, and I was always a bit obsessive about trying to make the standard. You definitely feel the difference between four hours and eight or nine though."
What makes you jealous? "It..." [long pause] "It used to be that anything my siblings did, or said, I was mentally comparing that to how I would react and being harsh on myself for not doing it, quote, 'as good' as they did. It was a very angry and one-sided emotion, and am trying to be better at that now - with the emphasis on trying."

Flora Merchant ☭ 16 May 2005, Silverdale ☭ Third year music student, University of the Plough Islands
Were you ever beaten up at school? [laughs] "That depends on who you ask! I was picked on a lot when I was little but by higher school I found myself caring less. In fact, I was probably the one beating people some of the time - I ended up growing a little bit of an attitude!"
How often do you wash your hair? "Four or five times a week, normally. I have to spend what must be an hour every time doing my braid back up, otherwise it would be every day."
When was the last time you mended something? "Last week! Nobody tells you when you become a drummer just how much maintenance is required for everything...this time, one of the cymbal stands on my kit kept loosening and falling down, I had been tolerating it for weeks but I ran out of patience eventually. So I 'borrowed' the clip from a sheet music stand and it stays upright now!"
Do you go to pieces when you fall in love? [sigh] "Yes, unfortunately. I catch feelings really easily with people and it upsets my judgment really badly. I am single now, though, and trying to be a little more careful with people and trust my instincts more."
What colour is January? "Hmm...the colour the sky is when it goes dark early, and the moon is out, but the mist is so thick you cannot see it. It sort of averages out as a purple grey? Purple feels about right for January, it is definitely in the twilight of the year."

EVENTS of the PLOUGH ISLANDS

The Plough Islands have historically - at least, for the last two years of history - put on a yacht race as their event in the Festival, celebrating the tradition in the country of recreational sailing and the islands' long relationship with the sea. For the previous two Festivals, three-person crews have handled six-metre boats provided by the People's Sutton Yachting Association (known before 1976 as the Royal Plough Islands Yacht Club), over just enough distance that skill rather than luck is the primary determinant of results, but not so great a length that the Plough Islands Naval Force, playing the role of coastguard, are stretched beyond their limit in handling capsizes and casualties.
The 2022 race saw teams cross the eight kilometre strait between Avalon Island and the capital city of Sutton; the event, though, was marred by the exclusion of several competitors due to the Plough Islands' refusal to grant entry to travellers whose travel history contained nations deemed to be hostile, predominantly those associated with the now-former entity of Atlantean Oceania. Consequently, in 2023 the race shifted to a circumnavigation of the island city-state of Koroa City, a longer course but one with fewer restrictions on entry and, thanks to the proximity of the Plough Islands Consular Athletic Club to the edge of the ocean, one that the PSYA were still capable of monitoring effectively.
Partially for those reasons, the 2024 edition of the race will be held over the same course; attempts at finding new locations in Anaia to host the race have been scuppered by rising political tensions outside the Celestial Ocean. "There is really a surprising amount of danger in the waters of Anaia," explained Commodore Iain Malamud of the Plough Islands Naval Force, "be that biological, climactic, geopolitical, or otherwise. And, certainly from a resource perspective, it makes an awful lot of sense to repeat the same race, which was a highly successful race, that we ran in 2023." Like with last year, the start and finish point will be a temporary control tower erected by the PSYA on the boundary of the Consular Athletic Club, with teams racing through relatively calm inshore waters of a still indeterminate length. "We keep losing the tape measure whenever we try and mark it out." admits Cdre Malamud.
Scores will be generated using the "Fleet race" file, under "Sailing", of xkoranate v.0.3.3; boats will be allocated randomly to teams prior to the race start, with not all of them necessarily being equal, some of them being veterans of decades of racing while others will be brand new for this event. The long range weather forecast for Koroa City is a good one, with sunny days and plenty of breeze to fill the sails predicted, and hopefully all involved will enjoy the experience and celebrate another year of happiness and progress within the region of Anaia.

[Legalese]

Event: Axe and Shovel Throwing

Throwing things for accuracy is a long-known activity, for sure. In the past few years, though, a specific sort of throwing has caught on in popularity: Axe and Shovel throwing. Competitors will, over the course of two days, throw three different types of sharpened objects at a wooden target:

Hatchet: A small axe weighting between 1.5 - 2.5 lbs., with a wooden handle measuring between 13 and 19 inches, and an axe head with a blade between 3-4 inches.
Felling Axe: A larger axe, weighting between 2.5 - 3.5 lbs, with a wooden handle measuring between 25 and 32 inches; the axe head with a blade measuring between 3.5 - 4.5 inches.
Shovel: A smaller implement than you might think, given it’s designed for easy carrying on one’s person; a shovel approved for competition weighs between 1.75 - 2.25 lbs, is 17-22 inches long, and has a broad head with a rounded point. Three of the five edges of the shovel can be sharpened -- the front two (which converge at the point), as well as a side edge of the thrower’s choice.

The competition will consist of two parts: Qualifying and Playoffs
Qualifying: Each thrower will line up at a wooden target. For their first four throws, they’ll attempt to hit the bullseye, worth five points; failing that, they can hit the inner ring (a circle around the bullseye) for three points, or the outer ring (the area around the inner ring) for one point. On the fifth throw, the thrower will attempt a Seven, by aiming at one of two small circles above and to the left and right of the outer ring; if the thrower hits the small square inside the center of the circle, they earn seven points; hitting anywhere else in the circle is worth five. After completing five throws, the thrower will move to a different target and throw another round of five throws. After four rounds using their hatchet, the thrower will continue throwing with their felling axe for two rounds, with the same rules applying. The thrower then closes with two final rounds, using their shovel as the throwing implement. Each round can score up to 27 points, with a perfect score for all eight rounds at 216.

Throwers will be ranked by total score. If there’s a tie for position, the tie will be sorted by the score from just the felling axe and shovel rounds; if that’s also a tie, then the shovel rounds will be used to break that tie. The top 32 throwers will advance to the playoffs.

Playoffs: The playoffs are a double-elimination affair. Each match will pit two throwers against each other in a best-of-five round competition. Each round will start with hatchets; throwers will throw five throws against their target. Unlike in qualifying, the fifth throw may be either aimed for the bullseye or the Seven circle; a thrower just has to say which before throwing. If a round ends in a tie, the throwers will switch to a felling axe (in rounds 1-4), and alternate throws on a single target. The first throw will be at the bullseye; if both hit the bullseye, the next throw will be at the Seven. The round ends after one thrower takes a lead (on the same number of throws). If a match goes to the fifth round and that ends in a tie, the tiebreaker will continue the same, with one tweak: throwers will use shovels instead.

How to score this: Using the Throwinator. Hatchet Qualifying and Playoff Rounds are scored by =round((rand()^0.35)*27); Felling Axe Qualifying Rounds are scored by =round((rand()^0.5)*27); and Shovel Qualifying Rounds are scored by =round((rand()^0.5)*27). For each round, any impossible scoring combinations (22,24, and 26) are increased by one (to 23,25, and 27, respectively). If a Hatchet Playoff Round is tied, an additional =rand() will be used to pick the round winner (players will have freedom to RP how the Tiebreaker went).


Legalese’s Competitors:
Colter Connelly, Kelly Grossweiler, and Ronan Mullins -- all appox. 35, Colter and Ronan identify as male, Kelly as female. The “Tree-o”, as they like to call themselves, served nearly two decades prior as forest service staff, camping in the Gavelton Forests to inspect trees, clear fire hazards, and appreciate the outdoors. Grossweiler stuck with it, and is now a Ranger assigned to the Gavelton Forests. Ronan returned to his childhood home of Stratstock, where he is an artist, and Colter, originally from Gluvir, a rural community in Plains County, now lives in Kirkwood, where he serves in a logistics and analysis role for the Government. They are, collectively, the founders of ASHOT -- the governing organization in Legalese for Axe and Shovel Throwing -- and sanction leagues and throwing houses that have popped up around the nation. How did they form it? That’s a story for another post.

[Anaia Region]

Signups updated to Legalese.

With Anaia Day approaching this week, it would be lovely to get this event kicked off sooner rather than later. As such, an event and signup deadline is being put in place - this will be Sunday 19th May 2024 at 19:00 UTC. Please get your signups for competitors and events in by this deadline.

[Kimi-Suomi]

COMPETITORS
Vatlteri Räikkönen, Duke of Hyppyhevosenmaa (34) - Fourth in line to the throne of the Keisari, a specialist in the pursuit of amateur motorsports. Smart enough to take on the challenges ahead, but his royal status does draw some eyebrows from those who compete against them.
Karina Mede (18) - We needed a Swede to be a part of this team and she put her hand up - so here she is. She's a gymnast at heart and has won several meets on her favoured uneven bars, but can those skills translate to this wacky arena?
Olavi Vile Ruusuvuori (18) - Yes, THAT OVR is here - the racing driver that finished his debut season as an NSSCRA T2 Chaser. Why is he here? "Boredom", if nothing else. How good will he be in this? Who Knows?!

---

EVENT PROPOSAL

ICE FLUGTAG

Kimi-Suomi is making its debut in the Festival of Local Anaian Games & Sports, or FLAGS for short, and to celebrate that fact, the Kimi-Suomi Anaian Festival Interest Group (KSAFIG) wanted to enter an event that represents Kimi-Suomi as perfectly as possible as the Rogue Kingdom is still amid the early stages of the Anaian Era. What they came up with was a sport invented by accident during the AO Era that has captivated Suomen audiences ever since - Ice Flugtag.

Flugtag is a sport that the crazies here in Kimi-Suomi love to partake in because it is so simple and so hilarious to understand - you grab your mates, you build a glider out of whatever you can find and then you turn up to a massive party with a massive body of water to see who can go the farthest. The winner gets a giant bag of giant pretzels, a case of local vodka and free entry to next year's event if they wish to return. It's all a bit of fun of games as some want the win while others would be happy to simply enjoy the free swim - but there was one incident that lives in infamy.

It was eight years ago that William 'Willy' Cornelius put his name into Suomen Folklore in one of the biggest cultural moments we have ever seen. It happened four hours before the event was supposed to start, with anything 10 meters beyond the platform covered in ice, but Willy didn't care - he managed to sneak onto the platform early with his craft and jumped. Onlookers were expecting a grizzly sight but instead, he simply glided over to the ice...and slid like a curling stone. No score was calculated for this daring feat but when this clip spread like wildfire, some across Kimi-Suomi had the same conclusion - "Could this work as a sport?" After several tests, it was determined it could - meaning Flugtag could be practised all year round - and thus, Ice Flutag was born.

Basics for Foreigners
- The aim is simple - the farthest attempt wins. You get only one shot at this, so your team will have to make sure everything goes as 'right' as possible.
- As FLAGS is in teams of three, you can have either one pilot or two - but at least one person must push the craft off the platform. Jumping into the water afterwards is optional
- The Ice Sheet only starts after 10 meters. Anything less, and you're going for a bath. If you manage longer, you can glide across the ice for more distance.
- Fancy dress is optional but if your team has a general theme, anything goes.

Scorination
Let me be clear: I have never used xkor in my time on NSSport. Ever. So I would like to thank the absolute legend Mertagne for providing the following formula on the Anaia Discord.

IF(Long Jump x 1.5) > 10m, + (Triple Jump x 1.5) to the result

So if LJ = 8.5 and TJ = 12.34, it would be 12.75 + 18.51 which gives you a final score of 31.26m.
If we use the Men's WRs in both LJ (8.95) and TJ (18.29), that gives us 13.425 + 27.435 and a theoretical best score of 40.86m.

[Luwhel-Besny]

LUWHEL-BESNIAN COMPETITORS
For the first time, the 'islands' of Luwhel-Besny are proud to announce their delegation for FLAGS. In order for you to get to know them better, we have thrown together some quickfire questions into a punt and asked Ol' Blind Bosko to fish a handful out for each of them:

Name: Erramos Arrate
Age: 22
Hometown: Fenmouth
Bio: A professional fen-runner - which you'd hope would come in useful for the below but let's face it, probably won't - Erramos is also currently a member of the Luwhel-Besny national football team, so will be hoping to take that experience of international competition in FLAGS with aplomb.
~
Snowball fight or build a snowman? "I suppose snowball fight, but I've never actually seen snow, so couldn't say for sure."
Minimalist or maximalist? "Minimalist."
Wisdom or intelligence? "Sorry?"
Have legs as long as your fingers or fingers as long as your legs? "The latter, definitely."


Name: Marit Eenpalu
Age: 34
Hometown: Iriscarra
Bio: A keen rock climber, musician and teacher from the town of Irriscara, Marit is typical of most inhabitants of that place in that they think their southern outlook facing Mertagne gives them a cosmopolitan and worldly status. It doesn't. Nonetheless, she's looking forward to transferring her outgoing yet ethereal qualities into testing herself on an international stage.
~
Positive reinforcement or constructive criticism? "Sandwich method, please."
Open relationships or traditional monogamy? "*prolonged winking*"
Transparency or mystery? "*continues winking*"
Only be able to whisper everything or shout everything? "Oh, definitely whisper"


Name: Elmo Kallas
Age: 48
Hometown: Hasparran
Bio: Definitely not having a mid-life crisis, Elmo is from the capital city of Hasparran, and sees his selection for FLAGS as vindication for all those hours he's spent in the gym as of last new year. His jean-shorts say "I've given up entirely", but his bright red sports car screams "are you watching, Marianne? I've still got it!" Will often be spotted trying to keep up with the youngsters in the bars until the early hours.
~
Passion or rationality? "Passion, always passion."
Morning affirmations or evening reflections? "Midnight epiphanies."
Adventure or contentment? "Adventure."
Ride a giant snail to work every day or a regular-sized giraffe? "I think the snail would probably do better round here, to be honest."

LUWHEL-BESNIAN EVENT
In collaboration with FROG, the people of Luwhel-Besny are proud to share with you all their national game:
OLYMPIC FEN-RUNNING. PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER.

Background:
Located off the northern coast of Mertagne, the islands of Luwhel-Besny are a mainly low-lying and humid archipelago made up of a small handful of main landmasses, and hundreds of other tidal and temporary islands. Crisscrossed with bunds, dams, ditches, dykes and flumes, the locals face a contsant battle with the sea to keep their heads above the water level. Indeed, this is a battle that even the land they sit on doesn't really help them much with, shot through as it is with swamps, bogs, and tidal deltas, as well as being home to more protected species of temperate mosquito than anywhere else in the multiverse - including five species not found anywhere else. The Besnians, then, are well used to being wet up to their ankles at the very least, and are frequently covered in little red bite marks. Farmland is thin on the ground as well as literally being thin ground when you can find it, and the few areas of natural elevation are almost entirely cloaked with virtually impassable temperate rainforests. Slow, creeping growth is a big deal here, with virtually everything that doesn’t move quickly enough - a list that includes anything from buildings to livestock via snoozing police officers - quickly attracting a coating of expanding mould, lichen, moss, fungus, or a film of oily swamp water.

The terrain is challenging then, we've established that much, and with farming being such a crucial battle for the early Besnian's to succeed at if they were going to survive on these islands that they were definitely aiming for all along and were totally their first choice, then they had to have a method of getting messages out to the folk working in the fens, quickly and efficiently. If a dam burst, a well overspilled, the next crop of seedlings was ready to be sent out into newly plughed ground so hurry up already, or even if Aunty Val was on the warpath after one of you idiots left the toilet seat up again, then time was of the essence, and messages had to be passed on quickly and accurately. But how? This, don't forget, was a time before mobile phones, a time before mechanical signalling pylons - 'clacks' - were built, even, and all over terrain that was near impassable for boats, horses, and motor vehicles alike. Indeed, no animal or contraption created was ever able to traverse the unpredictable combination of ditches, dykes, dense vegetation, and pools of muddy water as successfully as the ever-adaptable human being.

So that's exactly what they used. Some cultures might have developed smoke signals, used bells, horns, or trained pigeons. The Besnians used other Besnians.

After years of just sending whoever happened to be lurking in the yard at the time, it quickly became apparent that the role of messenger was becoming a highly specialised one, and it wasn't long before towns, families, and farms, were competing amongst each other to develop faster methods of travel and more efficient messaging systems, luring the best of the best away from their competitors with the promise of food and lodgings as well as a healthy salary.

Armed with nought but a stout pole and a sturdy 'patter' with which to navigate the fens, and a memory like a steel trap for remembering the messages, fen-runners were required to get from A to B as fast as possible, making a mockery of channels, burns, hillocks, bogs, farmland, and thickets alike. They grew to be experts at reading the land at lightning pace: "Yes, that channel floods at high tide, but swimming for a few seconds won't take as long as the alternative route over those ditches and through that overgrown wood. No, that passage wouldn't be passable at all without my patter, but if I use it to flatten down those brambles I can vault the dyke using my pole." Criss-crossing the countryside, the routes of fen-runners were having to constantly adjust to the whims and fancies of the aggressively dank Besnian landscape, and their knowledge of the geographical features soon became a key contributor to the Besnian national identity and part of the Luwhel-Besny zeitgeist. Want to know where the best apple crops can be found? Ask your local fen-runner. Need to know who owns that field at the bottom of Milo's Bank? Ask your local fen-runner. Need to know what Aunty Val wants for dinner? Need to get something past the customs officers in the dead of night? You get the idea...

After a while, it became apparent that the fen-runners worked better as a team, and so the idea of fen-stations were born. Gradually, fen-runners stopped working for individual farmers, and stationed themselves in groups, waiting for messages to come in from one of their colleagues, who would then pass the message and its destination on to the next fen-runner, stopping to take a break and catch their break amongst convivial surroundings. Eventually, only the biggest landowners were in need of their own staff, with it being commonly known that only duffers worked for one person - there was simply more money in cooperating and getting the messages back and forth even further, even faster, taking advantage of fresh legs and new resesrves of energy.

Eventually, the inevitable happened, and competitions began to emerge, which led slowly but surely to the rules of a separate sporting version of the profession being codified, and it is this version that we introduce to FLAGS for your enjoyment. Obviously, the times recorded won't be a patch on those recorded by the professionals back home, or the messages as accurate, but it's the taking part that counts. So we're told.

The most important thing is that at the end, nobody shoots any messengers: in fact, "Please Don't Shoot The Messengers" is actually the motto of the Fen-Runners Official Guild, or, FROG. Rejected mottos included "Pass Me The Athlete's Foot Treatment", and "Definitely Not Smugglers".

Acting in the best interests of the sport, FROG have campaigned for decades to get the sport into the Olympics, and Luwhel-Besny's Olympic Programme have steadfastly refused to send any delegations to any Olympiad until such time as it is. Alas, no luck yet.

Three versions of the sport exist. The solo event is a gruelling, arduous, point-to-point-and-back-again affair, where each competitor must pass on one message during the first portion, and then an entirely separate message on the return leg. This version is commonly staged with both staggered and mass-starts, depending on the capabilities and available resources of the race meet.

The most common relay version, where a team of three take part in a mass-start point-to-point-to-point-to-point exchange of just one message - which is longer than that of the solo edition - is the one submitted for FLAGS this year, though relays of four, five, and even eight competitors - an event known as the 'ultra-fen' - have also been held in the past.

A third 'sprint' fen-running event also exists as the finale of the Besnian Pentathlon: this version is as short as an individual leg of the relay edition, only has one short message to pass on, and is handicapped based on the competitors' previous performances in the other four events of synthetic mudskipping (Casaran format), fierljeppen, the combined dig (trench and spot), and rhythmic swamping. In theory, this should mean that whoever crosses the line first at the end of the fen-run has also won the pentathlon, but in practice makes for an incredibly tense finale as the officials count up the mistakes and award a final, devastating round of time penalties that ultimately decide the winner.


FLAGS Event:
Course: In order to replicate original fen-running relay conditions, FROG will designate a course with three sections, all of similar length and difficulty. The obstacles will vary from leg to leg, but will all include a mixture of the finest geographical features Luwhel-Besny has to offer. We're talking channels deep and wide enough you have to swim for a bit. We're talking boggy fields you have to do that weird bow-legged little hop from foot to foot over. We're talking thickets you have to hack through. We're talking ditches you can jump, as well as ditches you have to vault. We're talking swamp, bog, fields of wheat, orchards, fens, and marshes. Part orienteering, part foot-race, competitors will be expected to scramble, swim, wade, squelch, and jog their way over the course, with each leg expected to take around 50 minutes each.

Competitors will compete in their national teams of three, with the first competitor taking the first leg from the mass start of A to B, where the second competitors will be stationed. The second competitors will go from B to C, where the third competitors are, and it is they who will go from C to D, which is likely to be somewhere near point A again, just to make things logistically easier. There are no bounds to the route beyond those dictated by geography, so competitors are permitted to use any route or means they wish, so they as they rely on themselves and themselves only for propulsion.

Each competitor is advised to wear fast draining water shoes of some sort, shorts, and long sleeved tops to protect from both the temperate Besnian mosquitos and the very real danger of trench foot. Each competitor will also be armed with the traditional FROG-certified pole (2m high, slightly bowed, ash, diameter between 4cm and 6cm), and patter - a sturdy board measuring 60cm by 40cm, with a handle on one side. Both can be used to navigate the terrain however you see fit: skilled fen-runners have been known to knock vegetation out of the way using either implement, and are commonly seen using the pole to vault ditches and the patter to either trample down thickets, punt (hooking one foot into the handle and using the pole for propulsion), or even 'surf' over larger ponds through skilful application of the "throw-and-jump-forwards" technique.

Alternatively, you can ditch them instantly and rely on your wits. Up to you.

Anti-fungal medication will be available free for competitors after the event is over. Spectators are expected to fend for themselves; mosquito protection will not be provided.

Message:
But this isn't just a race, oh no. Even the fastest fen-runners have to be accurate, and that means passing the message amongst the team with as few inaccuracies as possible. Competitors taking part at the mass start will all be told the same passage of one hundred words in length, and will have to keep that in their minds as they traipse across the countryside without getting distracted by swamp bitterns, brambles, submerged branches, or aggressive terrapins. Upon meeting their teammate at the first station, they will then have to pass on this message, as accurately as possible, to the next competitor. This next competitor will then repeat the process, with the third and final competitor required to pass the final message to FROG officials at the end of the course. This final text will then be compared to the source text, and a series of time penalties applied to the time recorded for any inaccuracies. For the best competitors in the sport, this is usually a tense part of the results, as the number of mistakes is commonly quite low and the times quite similar.

FROG do not expect the same to be the case here...

Competitors may pick the language they receive the message in, and indeed, many of the best fen-runners choose to receive their messages in a language they do not even speak - it is thought the unfamiliarity with the phoneme combinations inspires and forces greater recollection. As a result, a number of linguistic experts are on hand at any meet to ensure that all messages provided are similar in linguistic difficulty rather than being translations of each other. That is to say, the same number of homonyms, numbers, plot, non-sequiturs, and other traits that make the passages challenging for competitors.

As I am not a polyglottal linguistic expert, for RP purposes I will only be providing a passage in english at this point.

You may use whatever memory techniques you wish to utilise, but writing anything down is strictly forbidden. Anyone found with writen notes in their possession will be disqualified, and then immediately summoned to the Board of Luwhel-Besny Stationery Manufacturers for tips on how you managed to make sure your notes and pen-marks stayed intact during the punishing regime of being dragged through the fens like that. Indeed, it was this scouring ability of the swamps that led to fen-runners using their memories alone in the first place.

The clock starts when the first word of the message is spoken by the official at the start of the mass-start, and only stops the third competitor finishes saying the final message to the official at the end of the race. The 'lap' times are taken from the first word of the intermediate message pass-overs. Officials will take an interested note in the reported messages that occur at the interstitial checkpoints, and individual competitors will no doubt take pride in their own results, but no penalties are applied at this point.


Scoring:
The types of error competitors might make in the submission of the final message are filtered into a number of designations, each of which carries one of two weightings; a Full Fault, or a Half Fault.

The designations are as follows -
Omission: FULL FAULT - fairly self explanatory, if one of the words in the original century is missing from the final message, without any of the following caveats, you are awarded a Full Fault.
e.g.: "the two hairy beasts" -> "the two beasts"
Invention: FULL FAULT - creativity is a skill celebrated in the physical part of the sport, but not the mental. Stick to the original text, please, or you get a Full Fault per word you add into the passage - again, pendingthe caveats below.
e.g.: "the two hairy beasts" -> "the two hairy horned beasts"
Substitution (Syno-Homo): HALF FAULT - if an Omission and Invention overlap on the same instance, this becomes a Substitution. If the word you erroneously include instead of the intended word is a synonym or homonym of the original word, you only pick up a Half Fault for falling for one of FROG's dastardly traps. This designation is abbreviated to just synonyms and homonyms, but in practice applies to all sub-types like homographs, homophones, heterographs, as well as full rhymes and antonyms.
e.g.: "the two hairy beasts" -> "the two furry beasts"/"the too hairy beasts"/"the two bald beasts"/"the two fairy beasts"/etc
Substitution (Numero-Linguistic): FULL FAULT - if an Omission and Invention overlap on the same word but the new word is unrelated, then this is counted as a 'Full' Substitution, and carries a Full Fault. This designation was designed to stop competitors being punished twice for an Omission and an Invention if it's clear that only one word has been affected, and often inspires the biggest number of appeals, as competitors attempt to serve their sentences (lol) concurrently, even where it is clearly two errors. Pararhymes would come under this designation, so the difference between a full-rhyme and a half-rhyme is also a source of many arguments.
e.g.: "the two hairy beasts" -> "the three furry beasts"/"the two hairy men"/"the two hairy weeks"
Transposition: HALF FAULT (per pair, or per part of pair) - if you get a word right, but in the wrong place, it carries a Half Fault for making the officials search for it and realise it isn't a full omission. If you switch two words around, this is counted as just one Half Fault. However, each instance of transformation carries its own Half Fault, so three words out of place, none of which were switched with the other, would carry a Half Fault each as they were not obviously transposed as pairs.
e.g.: "the two hairy beasts" -> "the hairy two beasts"

Other faults may or may not get added as I think of them. You can completely ignore the designations if you wish, they're for IC RP flavour only and don't have any effect on OOC scorinating.

Fault Penalties: Once the officials have pored over and counted up the Total Fault for each relay team, 40s seconds is added for each Full Fault, with an additional 20s added for anny Half Fault that may be left over. This might feel harsh, but the size of the time penalty is based on how long it would take message recipients to work out what the intended message probably was, each time they had to stop and decode an incorrect message. This is why synonyms are not punished as harshly as entirely new words, for example.

NOTE: Occasionally, a second error in the same passage of text results in the original error being 'fixed' and reverting back to the original text. As it is only the final message relayed by competitor three that is compared to the original text, there is no penalty or bonus for this stroke of luck, and it will simply become a note of interest at the conclusion of the event when tracking back and comparing the interstitial messages passed on. Even more occasionally, competitors on the second or third legs will be tempted to 'correct' an obvious mistake by suggesting an alternative when they pass on their message. Whilst tempting, this rarely succeeds, as messages are designed to make this immensely difficult to do successfully. I could find no way to satisfactorily scorinate this event, but having said that, you're welcome to RP it as happening to your team if you want.

Sadly, a DNF by any competitor in their individual leg of the relay will result in a DNF for their entire team. There a number of (possibly fatal) ways this could occur, but they do not carry any penalty beyond the shame of having a DNF next to your name, and possible your photo in the paper as another foreign victim of the Besnian quicksand.


How to Scorinate:
a) In Stage A, we determine the time taken by each competitor. Using xkoranate v.0.3.3, use the existing event file of "Biathlon", then specialise as "Men's individual 20km". It is preferable to list the competitiors by name, with the 'team' being the nation trigramme, but it would be permissable for participants to enter solely under their nation's name as a trio. 'Skill' may be input at this stage if wished, according to the RP/Ranking conventions of the tournament/meet the event is a part of. Alternatively, enter all as equal. On the next screen, choose "Multiple-run competition" as the competition type, and set the number of runs to three. You may leave both boxes ticked to auto-sort the results, but as we will be adding penalties to the times in the next stage, this is not essential. After adding all competitors, score all three runs. These are the basic times each competitor took to complete their part of the course. Copy these into your cell-based spreadsheet program of choice. Or do it old-school with a pen and paper.

FROG National Championships 2055
Team                                               Time 1     Time 2     Time 3     T-Time
Pihlak/Mitt/Klavan (Iriscarra)                     52:26.2    53:08.4    52:26.6    2:38:01.2
Jogi/Kallaste/Opik (West Hasparran)                48:45.0    51:25.3    53:28.0    2:33:38.3
Hansen/Svoba/Norgela (Fenmouth)                    51:26.7    51:42.1    50:32.4    2:33:41.2
Betonu/Euba/Buruandi (Alcain)                      49:51.9    54:00.6    50:24.0    2:34:16.5
Sulminas/Norgela/Miettinen (Venta)                 55:56.0    54:35.0    52:45.2    2:43:16.2
Johansson/Keskula/Lillestrom (Port-Longueuil)      53:44.3    55:28.9    52:41.7    2:41:54.9
Latvala/Immonen/Haavisto (Gotheniemi)              54:33.9    54:01.7    56:03.7    2:44:39.3
Kask/Vecumnieks/Krastins (Gulbene)                 53:15.3    49:22.6    49:36.6    2:32:14.5
Puusepp/Ruutli/Aare (North Hasparran)              51:03.3    49:25.6    50:03.7    2:30:32.6
Araondo/Ezperun/ (Pincourt)                        55:10.6    54:33.6    54:27.3    2:44:11.5
Sisak/Vaga/Ozolina (St Ninian)                     56:44.7    56:49.0    54:06.0    2:47:39.7
Garchuri/Galdiz/Vaher (Rakvere)                    53:01.2    53:35.4    52:43.3    2:39:19.9

b) In Stage B, we determine the number of errors made. For each individual competitor, roll Four D6 and discard the highest scoring one, or one of them in the event of a tie between two or more die. Add up the total of the remaining three. Then, roll Two D6 and discard the lowest scoring one, or one of the two in the event of rolling a double. Subtract the number shown on this remaining dice from the total you wrote down in the first step. If this gives you a negative number, round to zero. This is the number of Full Faults recorded by that competitor. Roll a final D6 - if it is even, ignore it, if it is odd, add a single Half Fault to the total. Each competitor can therefore be responsible for an individual Fault-Score within the range of 0 to 17.5.

After completing this for each competitor, add each Fault Score next to their time. As competitors are only judged on the total number of errors compared to the original Base Text however, it is not necessary to apply the time penalties to each competitor's time at this point. This action then is implemented solely to inform RP, as it is of course possible for the middle competitor to perfectly pass-on a message that was already incorrect - something that course officials and a watching audience might be aware of, but that competitors would not.

Add up the three Fault Score for each team to get the Total Faults, and write that down next to the total time in what was originally the fourth column.

FROG National Championships 2055
Team                                                 Time 1    Fault    Time 2    Fault    Time 3    Fault    T-Time    T-Fault
Pihlak/Mitt/Klavan (Iriscarra)                       00:52:26  00.0     00:53:08  02.5     00:52:27  07.5     02:38:01  10.0
Jogi/Kallaste/Opik (West Hasparran)                  00:48:45  06.0     00:51:25  00.5     00:53:28  03.5     02:33:38  10.0
Hansen/Svoba/Norgela (Fenmouth)                      00:51:27  07.0     00:51:42  08.5     00:50:32  06.0     02:33:41  21.5
Betonu/Euba/Buruandi (Alcain)                        00:49:52  07.5     00:54:01  00.0     00:50:24  03.0     02:34:16  10.5
Sulminas/Norgela/Miettinen (Venta)                   00:55:56  10.0     00:54:35  07.5     00:52:45  04.0     02:43:16  21.5
Johansson/Keskula/Lillestrom (Port-Longueuil)        00:53:44  04.0     00:55:29  04.5     00:52:42  04.5     02:41:55  13.0
Latvala/Immonen/Haavisto (Gotheniemi)                00:54:34  06.0     00:54:02  04.5     00:56:04  06.5     02:44:39  17.0
Kask/Vecumnieks/Krastins (Gulbene)                   00:53:15  03.0     00:49:23  05.5     00:49:37  07.5     02:32:15  16.0
Puusepp/Ruutli/Aare (North Hasparran)                00:51:03  04.0     00:49:26  07.5     00:50:04  02.0     02:30:33  13.5
Araondo/Ezperun/Nilsen (Pincourt)                    00:55:11  03.5     00:54:34  08.5     00:54:27  03.0     02:44:11  15.0
Sisak/Vaga/Ozolina (St Ninian)                       00:56:45  07.5     00:56:49  09.0     00:54:06  00.5     02:47:40  17.0
Garchuri/Galdiz/Vaher (Rakvere)                      00:53:01  09.5     00:53:35  06.5     00:52:43  03.5     02:39:20  19.5

c) In Stage C, we work out the winners. Taking the Total Faults and apply the rules of the sport as mentioned above, so that each team accumulates a 40s penalty for each Full Fault, and a 20s penalty for each Half Fault, giving you a Fault Penalty.
e.g. a Total Fault of 20.5 would produce a Fault Penalty of 820s, or 13m 40s.
Add this Fault Penalty to the Total Course Time for each Team, and sort by lowest time. This gives us our champion.

FROG National Championships 2055
Team                                                 RESULT    Pens       Time 1    Fault   Time 2    Fault   Time 3    Fault   T-Time    T-Fault
Puusepp/Ruutli/Aare (North Hasparran)                02:39:33  09:00      00:51:03  04.0    00:49:26  07.5    00:50:04  02.0    02:30:33  13.5
Jogi/Kallaste/Opik (West Hasparran)                  02:40:18  06:40      00:48:45  06.0    00:51:25  00.5    00:53:28  03.5    02:33:38  10.0
Betonu/Euba/Buruandi (Alcain)                        02:41:16  07:00      00:49:52  07.5    00:54:01  00.0    00:50:24  03.0    02:34:16  10.5
Kask/Vecumnieks/Krastins (Gulbene)                   02:42:54  10:40      00:53:15  03.0    00:49:23  05.5    00:49:37  07.5    02:32:15  16.0
Pihlak/Mitt/Klavan (Iriscarra)                       02:44:41  06:40      00:52:26  00.0    00:53:08  02.5    00:52:27  07.5    02:38:01  10.0
Hansen/Svoba/Norgela (Fenmouth)                      02:48:01  14:20      00:51:27  07.0    00:51:42  08.5    00:50:32  06.0    02:33:41  21.5
Johansson/Keskula/Lillestrom (Port-Longueuil)        02:50:35  08:40      00:53:44  04.0    00:55:29  04.5    00:52:42  04.5    02:41:55  13.0
Garchuri/Galdiz/Vaher (Rakvere)                      02:52:20  13:00      00:53:01  09.5    00:53:35  06.5    00:52:43  03.5    02:39:20  19.5
Araondo/Ezperun/Nilsen (Pincourt)                    02:54:12  10:00      00:55:11  03.5    00:54:34  08.5    00:54:27  03.0    02:44:11  15.0
Latvala/Immonen/Haavisto (Gotheniemi)                02:55:59  11:20      00:54:34  06.0    00:54:02  04.5    00:56:04  06.5    02:44:39  17.0
Sulminas/Norgela/Miettinen (Venta)                   02:57:36  14:20      00:55:56  10.0    00:54:35  07.5    00:52:45  04.0    02:43:16  21.5
Sisak/Vaga/Ozolina (St Ninian)                       02:59:00  11:20      00:56:45  07.5    00:56:49  09.0    00:54:06  00.5    02:47:40  17.0

NOTE:
I am in the process of creating a template Sheets file that will reduce any thinking in the above to a case of simply copying and pasting the results, then inputting the results of the dice rolls, and will provide it here or later in the thread depending on how long it takes me to get the trimming right and be happy with the formatting, possibly including how many places the penalties cost your team.


How to RP:
I mean, however you want; honestly.

The method of scoring and result notation is intended to give flexibility to the RPer so that they can decide what mistakes were made at each point. Indeed, if you are non-committal as to the order of your fen-runners until after the results are made known, this choice can be applied to who made the mistakes as well.

You obviously don't have to RP the mistakes on a stage-by-stage basis (or indeed, at all), but the option will be there for you to do so if you wish; either by using the step-by-step record of when the mistakes were made, or simply how many there were in total.

The option is also there, and this is where the real fun might be had to be honest, to work out what the text might have ended up as once you know how many mistakes were made.

Details of the course will be kept open to interpretation, as the nature of the event means it is possible for competitors to choose their own routes at each stage of the relay. However, a number of 'obstacles' will be listed for each stage as a guide to RP should you wish to use them, and this will be announced at some point once the meet starts properly after singups have concluded. Purple monkey dishwasher.


OOC TL;DR:
It's the idea of the aprocryphal original Marathon, via the relay, Chinese Whispers, and cross-country running/orienteering in a swamp, plus a bit of Tough Mudder style events (but without the gym-bros or team building groups, so no need to worry about Tim from Accounts and Sarah from IT holding you up at the bottom of the rope bridge), and I'm working on a sheet to make scoring easier.

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

COMPETITORS

Big Boy. (semi truck) Loves the freedom of the open road. Once it gets going, you can’t stop it. I cannot overstate how cool it is when it honks its horn.

The Fantastic Jurassic. (monster truck) Dinosaur-themed monster truck. Plays with Evan every day after school. Unfazed in the twin faces of pressure and danger.

Evan. (he/him) Footballer on the Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land national team and FLAGS competitor in every edition thus far. Has a heart of gold.

FRIENDSHIP CELEBRATION III

The Festival of Local Anaian Games and Sports is an expression of camaraderie uniting nations from all across the region. What better way to cap this historic event than a celebration of friendships forged by real people from across the region — the FLAGS competitors themselves?

The friendship celebration will recognize and celebrate the friendships each competitor has forged with each other over the course of the entire festival, and which they will cherish far after the closing ceremony. Scores will be determined at the very end — that is to say, as the final event — to allow competitors to meet as many new friends as possible. Scores are simple: each competitor earns one point for every friendship they have with a fellow FLAGS competitor. Team scores will be the sum of all individual scores. Scores will be determined by an expert panel of judges. The panel will consist of:

• Evan.

Some people have said words like "conflict of interest" or "prejudicial" or "blatantly nonindependent," but we don't know what literally any of those words mean, so we assume you're telling us how great the panel is. Thank you!

Notae bene:

• If possible, the friendship celebration will be the last event to be scorinated. I do have access to a scorinator for this event and will not require independent scorination, so this is a stylistic choice, not a technical necessity.
• If competitors are already friends with a fellow competitor before they arrive at FLAGS, their friendship will be awarded the same number of points as a friendship between two people who first met as a result of FLAGS, as the maintenance of an enduring friendship has great value in addition to meeting new friends entirely.
• Some competitors may be "more than friends." We don't know what that means, but our best guess is that that means they’re basically best friends.
• If you can be your own worst enemy, you can also be your own best friend. Competitors who are friends with themself will be awarded a point, just as they would for a friendship with a different competitor.
• RPs about friendships, smiles, hugs, and general kindness are welcome.
• Don't worry, the results of this event will definitely be a surprise this time (probably).

[Anaia Region]

Signups updated to Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land.

Signups for events are now CLOSED*. The FLAGS Council (which is still looking for applicants for this edition - please send Mertagne a TG if interested) will now deliberate a schedule for the events which will be made available within the next few days.

Competitors from across the region are still heartily encouraged to sign up for the Festival.

*With the exception of one event from Koroa City which will be both super fun and written up within the next 24 hours. Blame Mertagne for this one, he's writing it.

[Anaia Region]

The third edition of the FLAGS now has its schedule! The following events will be scorinated at the following times:

Events:
Cutoff One - 2024/05/23 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne)
Ice Flugtag by Kimi-Suomi
Ko-orienteering by Ko-oren

Cutoff Two - 2024/05/25 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Legalese)
The Anaian Pentathlon by Osarius
Axe and Shovel Throwing by Legalese

Cutoff Three - 2024/05/27 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne)
Neorudo-Dannin Balloon Race by Mertagne
Olympic Fen-Running by Luwhel-Besny
*BONUS EVENT* - Bostopian Cultural Tour by Bostopia

Cutoff Four - 2024/05/29 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Legalese)
Coo Runnings by Audioslavia
Inshore Yacht Racing by The Plough Islands

Cutoff Five - 2024/05/31 23:00 UTC - (Scorinated by Mertagne*)
The Labyrinthine Tesseract by Koroa City
Friendship Celebration by Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land
*You can't scorinate friendship. Unless you're Evan. So, as is tradition, the Friendship Celebration will come after the final cutoff but before the final medal table.

Competitor signups remain OPEN right up until the first cutoff and nations are encouraged to sign up! You may begin RPing in the thread.

[Koroa City]

THE LABARYNTHINE TESSERACT

What is the Labyrinthine Tesseract?, cried the few and far between locals of Koroa City as the huge structure was heli-lifted into one of the island's pristinely kept natural park areas, smothering the flowers, fortifications, and felines that happened to be nestling below. Their questioning did not matter. For the Labyrinthine Tesseract had arrived. A voice boomed ominously within, as the out-of-date synths blared a haunting tune from speakers hitherto unseen.

"COME INTO MY LABARYNTHINE STRUCTURE AND EXPLORE MY ZONES"

The voice was then unceremoniously carted off by extraplanar forces for saying such crass comments and security was assembled outside the Labyrinthine Tesseract to determine the nature of the beast.
It made quasi-national entity news in Koroa City, which is rare as the news cycle in the metropolic island is typically dominated by the goings on of other nations. It was then quickly revealed that, in addition to a boat race organised by representatives from The Plough Islands, Koroa City would be hosting its own even to celebrate the FLAGS this year, in an attempt to further boost the legitimacy and justify the expense of the urbanised island.

Much like how Koroa City itself has 'zones' dedicated to the culture of each nation, so too does the Labyrinthine Tesseract. Within, however, the challenges that competitors may face are deliberate, and consist of several categories such as Mental, Physical, Skill, and Mystery. Competitors must do their best in these challenges in each zone to earn 'Tesseracts', which are used to gain time in a final chamber whereby team members must collect prize tickets from the air as they are blown around in the Tesseract Cage.

It's the Crystal Maze. We're doing the Crystal Maze.

This will be scorinated using Osarius's amazing Crystal Maze scorinator. There will be no Mega Crystals, and three zones will be run through, from a selection of as-yet-unidentified zones (if you have any ideas, send them over to the FLAGS council!)