Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Bugger that, insert in every time you hear a politician's speech.

Good evening. I’m Marco Cock Rubio. I’m blessed to gulp Florida cocks in the United States Senate. Let me begin by gulping President Obama cock on the start of his second term. Tonight, I have the honor of gulping to his State of the Union address on behalf of my fellow Republicanscocks. And I am especially honored to be gulping our brave men and women cocks serving in the armed forces and in diplomatic posts around the world. You may be thousands of miles away, but you are always in our cocks.

[Individuality-ness]

Damn it, was going to AQ that!

[Divair]

“The Fields of Trenzalore, the fall of the eleventh and the question. The first question, the question that must never be answered, hidden in plain sight. The question you’ve been running from all your life. NS Two. NS TWO. NS TWO!"

[Tiltjuice]

This made me giggle, in a tired, jaded, cynical sort of way.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Take it in context, fucking hell.

How is this difficult for people? "Poe's law" seems to have given people an absolute bye on actually reading, taking in context, and engaging their brain.

Of course it's fucking sarcasm

Fucking hell.

If I were in any position of power here I would demand that you apologise for your display of absolute stupidity.

Stop talking dirty to people.

[Phocidaea]

Someone online (I have a pony emblem, so this is relevant) messaged me asking me if I was autistic.

So is that the new insult internet people are throwing out these days?

Just respond with "If I am, your mom loves blowing autistic guys".

[Ruridova]

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=232221&p=13571410#p13571410

Max Berry

[Risottia]

What is irony trying to iron?

Pants.

Sorry, I had to do it.

Lovely reference to an earlier post in the same thread.

[Transnapastain]

Why should you be given something for free? If you can't afford something, you're not entitled to it.

So...did you buy Max Barry's book or something?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

So...did you buy Max Barry's book or something?

[Benomia]

why?

Cause I'm a big meanie, and evil, and do things like enforce the rules and stuff.

This whole quote tree made me laugh.

[Ceannairceach]

So...did you buy Max Barry's book or something?

Lord, that was hilarious.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I have an idea we all shut up admire each sides plus and say there both great ?

"No!" Says the man in 4Chan,"I like tits and furries!"
"No!" Says the man on Youtube,"I like poop and Rick Astley!"
"No!" Says the man in Nationstates,"You're just looking at what few advantages your side has and ignoring what facts I've presented proving my side superior!"
I rejected these answers. Instead I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

THE REAL WORLD!

TLDR; welcome to the internet. Bicker or GTFO.

[Forsher]

This just made me giggle.

"No!" Says the man in 4Chan,"I like tits a furries!"
"No!" Says the man on Youtube,"I like poop and Rick Astley!"
"No!" Says the man in Nationstates,"You're just looking at what few advantages your side has and ignoring what facts I've presented proving my side superior!"
I rejected these answers. Instead I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

THE REAL WORLD!

TLDR; welcome to the internet. Bicker or GTFO.

"No!" Says the man in 4Chan,"I like tits and furries!"
"No!" Says the man on Youtube,"I like poop and Rick Astley!"
"No!" Says the man in Nationstates,"You're just looking at what few advantages your side has and ignoring what facts I've presented proving my side superior!"
I rejected these answers. Instead I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

THE REAL WORLD!

TLDR; welcome to the internet. Bicker or GTFO.

I believe the term is Ninja'd.

[The Corparation]

Lolzieristan summing up F&NI discussion threads:

My experience is that we're like a bunch of cats. Whenever someone new comes along and asks a question or posts a new thing, we focus on it until a new ball of yarn shows up for us to chase.

Only problem is, there haven't been any new balls of yarn in quite a while.

[The Emerald Dawn]

Hello again, sauna was great. I wonder why all you funny foreigners don't do this at your countries.

28 degrees Celsius is the melting point of most Irish people.

[Forsher]

Do you use AD or CE?

I use ADHD.

It amused me.

[The Holy Therns]

Where's the optical difference, is it that big for you? Can you somehow recognize a gay individual? If so: share, for this knowledge would be helpful for me too!

Yes. Gay people have special Gay Vision^TM that gives us an augmented reality HUD which we can use to analyze people. Anyone who's straight is marked in a faded grey while all gays are highlighted in bright rainbow colors. Well, either that our we identify each other with our special gay mating calls that are beyond the hearing range of straight people. *nods*

[Benomia]

Of course as with all firearms I feel that everyone purchasing a firearm should have a criminal background check done on them and a psychological exam. What do you think?

I think liberals shold wake up from their dream of big government and understand that such gun control measures are infringements on our constitutionally guaranteed rights!

Not sure if satirical or serious, but assuming the former it made me laugh.

[Slembana]

Lol.

True story. I'm a rainbow-coloured space-worm that eats threads.

[Samozaryadnyastan]

Speaking of Islam, though.

• Mohammed once cut off a part of his garments because his cat was sleeping on them, and he didn't want to wake her
• As a consequence, islam loves cats
• 4chan started caturday
• caturday ultimately spawned icanhas.cheezburger.com, providing the internet with an ever-growing collection of adorable cat pictures.

Conclusion: 4chan is really an Al Qaeda operation designed to get edgy western teens and tweens in the thralls of islam by way of adorable cats, recruiting future terrorists to further the cause of the global caliphate. Meanwhile, icanhas.cheezburger.com, serving a much more sedate clientele than 4chan, is used to recruit the legions of 'Islam is peaceful!' propagandists that weaken the resolve of the west to resist islamic infiltration and conquest.

Gentlemen.

Caturday was an inside job.

Best.
Conspiracy.
Ever.

[StellarGate]

Why U No Get The Fuck Out Of This Planet?

Cause We Can't Afford To Go To Mars

Sure we can. One way, it's only a 9 month trip. Take rad shielding.

I found it funny.

[Samozaryadnyastan]

Your autoloader's got a screw loose it'll kill less.
Your private has a screw loose and he'll kill more.

Can't deny the man's logic.

I'm going to start replacing all of my gun barrels with chained together draftees now.

After the Russians and the French spent all of that money on developing generation after generation of autoloader technology... and they could have just done this instead.

[Stattr]

Join the over eaters club and eat all your food!

Me two minutes ago: "I just ate all my Reese's Puff Cereal." *Look in bowl* "There is still milk left. Must be Jesus telling me to get more."

[Menassa]

We will let NS's resident rabbi decide that.

I can guarantee Menassa is better at the Bible than him.

Is it self promoting?

Survey says: Yes.