Season 404
UICA Qualifications
CC: Extramarine
GC: Old Tamarindians, Rear Admirals, Tanguy School of Architecture
SB: Students of Sixteen Bits, Young Tamarindians, Rosicruxxia, Clunwardine Salopia
The Miskatonic University is the principle organiser of football in the nation of Wight, where traditionally professors, lecturers, graduates, under-graduates, administrators, cleaners, alumni and general riff-raff with an interest in playing come together to compete for the various departments and schools. However, with a burgeoning interest in the sport across the dimensions governed by Búa, beyond the confines of the colleges, a slow expansion is beginning to take place. Nonetheless, the MIU remains the governing body of the sport, by decree.
Football is now divided into two separate streams, the Varsity Leagues and the Haphazard Foundation.
Miskatonic Varsity Leagues
There are three leagues of varying standard in the Miskatonic Varsity Leagues; at the top of the pile are two equally ranked leagues - the Inter-Faculty and Alumni leagues. Under UICA rulings, these two leagues will provide candidates for UICA Champions Cup and Globe Cup competitions. Winners of the top two leagues will compete in the Despite Trophy - to decide the University champion. Below the top leagues is the Students Union Football League for present students - this will provide candidates for the UICA Serie B Competition. There is no movement of teams between leagues, but of course there is movement of players, as they graduate and move to the alumni or become faculty staff.
The Haphazard Foundation
The Haphazard Foundation traditionally provided a league of clubs for those students, staff and alumni not good enough to play for the more serious teams - the riff-raff. But with an increase in the interest of football across Búa's dominion, the Haphazard Foundation will provide a league structure of several divisions to provide opportunities for widening participation. Initially, in this season 404 (as determined by the new calendar system introduced for all Búa's wide dominions) the expansion will be to a second division. Further divisions will be added as demand increases. The top division will provided candidates for UICA entry into the Champions Cup and Globe Cup competitions; while the second division will provide candidates for the UICA Serie B Competition. The HF leagues will operate a 4-up, 4-down promotion system.
At the end of the regular season, the top four from each of the three top-tier divisions of the Varsity and Haphazard Leagues will compete for MIU's CC and GC allocation in a post-season tournament; while the top four in each of the two second-tier divisions will compete for MIU's SB allocation.
Senior Championships
Under the new two-stream system, Extramarine become the first official champions of Wight, and in so doing have rubbished the argument from the Varsity Leagues that the Haphazard Foundation - set up for the 'riff-raff' - is not good enough to be considered for UICA qualification. Already a puritan divide is emerging between the Academic old school, and the non-academic modernisers of the game from the Foundation. First blood goes to the Foundation, although in truth the other three teams finished in the bottom four of the Senior Championships, so it is only the dominance of Extramarine that spared the blushes of the Haphazard Foundation.
Team
1 Extramarine 11 8 2 1 35 13 +22 26CC Qualification
2 Old Tamarindians 11 6 1 4 26 18 +8 19GC Qualification
3 Rear Admirals 11 5 2 4 21 20 +1 17GC Qualification
4 Tanguy School of Architecture 11 5 2 4 26 16 +10 17GC Qualification
5 Department of Administration 11 4 4 3 23 19 +4 16
6 Un Chien Andalou School 11 4 3 4 21 20 +1 15
7 Asyluum 11 4 2 5 19 24 -5 14
8 Old Fellateians 11 3 4 4 22 18 +4 13
9 Arkham Asyluum 11 3 4 4 18 27 -9 13
10 Old Realists 11 3 3 5 19 30 -11 12
11 Wight Spit Casuals 11 3 2 6 11 27 -16 11
12 Búa's Boys FC 11 3 1 7 14 23 -9 10
Junior Championships
Students of Sixteen Bits, having retained the SU title, went on to dominate the Junior Championships and are the only team unbeaten in the post-season competitions. Tamarindia College can enjoy a double success of having both the present and past students in UICA competitions next season, while there was a good showing from the HF Second Division with champions Rosicruxxia and surprise package Clunwardine Salopia both grabbing spots in the Serie-B Champions Cup.
Team
1 Students of Sixteen Bits 7 5 2 0 19 9 +10 17SB Qualification
2 Young Tamarindians 7 4 0 3 18 11 +7 12SB Qualification
3 Rosicruxxia 7 3 2 2 11 12 -1 11SB Qualification
4 Clunwardine Salopia 7 3 2 2 12 8 +4 11SB Qualification
5 Junior Theologians 7 2 2 3 7 6 +1 8
6 Library Apprentices 7 2 1 4 8 11 -3 7
7 Sondry Hundred FC 7 1 3 3 9 14 -5 6
8 Oroboros 7 1 2 4 7 20 -13 5
Despite Trophy
Miskatonic University Championship Game
Old Fellateians 0-1 Tanguy School of Architecture
Inter-Faculty Football League
A nine point margin for pre-season favourites Tanguy was hardly a surprise, and to go on to win the Varsity title is just reward for the Architects. Meanwhile the Department for Administration sprung a surprise second-place finish, and Un Chien Andalou will be disappointed to have finished so far off the pace. At the bottom, The School of Linguistics will be disappointed with their return but at least relieved that their old boys managed to take some of the heat off them by taking the Alumni title.
Team
1 Tanguy School of Architecture 42 28 3 11 102 58 +44 87
2 Department of Administration 42 23 9 10 91 47 +44 78
3 Asyluum 42 22 7 13 103 58 +45 73
4 Un Chien Andalou School 42 19 13 10 82 63 +19 70
5 Faculty of Geodimensions 42 19 12 11 65 62 +3 69
6 Black Mass College 42 21 6 15 94 71 +23 69
7 Gallileo College 42 20 8 14 88 78 +10 68
8 Uncertain College 42 20 7 15 84 70 +14 67
9 Faculty of UnHumanities 42 18 9 15 85 73 +12 63
10 Tamarindia College 42 18 8 16 87 75 +12 62
11 Titaniumsmith's 42 17 9 16 89 82 +7 60
12 Tommy Flowers School of Computing 42 17 7 18 79 91 -12 58
13 Armageddon College 42 17 6 19 84 82 +2 57
14 Interdimensional Library Services 42 15 7 20 81 94 -13 52
15 Canteen 42 15 7 20 67 79 -12 52
16 Wight College of Sport Science 42 14 9 19 71 98 -27 51
17 Portmuthian Naval College 42 14 8 20 85 92 -7 50
18 School of Superstition Studies 42 12 8 22 58 90 -32 44
19 Faculty of Membrane Sciences 42 9 15 18 50 76 -26 42
20 Greek School of Economics 42 12 5 25 64 110 -46 41
21 St. Isidore College of Cartography 42 9 14 19 44 70 -26 41
22 School of Linguistics 42 10 9 23 52 86 -34 39
Alumni Football League
Old Fellateins, of the School of Linguistics, surprised everyone with a dominating season, finishing ahead of favourites Old Tamarindians in some comfort. A disappointing season for the reigning Varsity Champions Old Calculators who drop to fifth and miss out on the Senior Championships. Old Apocalypticians plummet from a sedate mid-table finish to the bottom of the pile with their very own sporting armageddon.
Team
1 Old Fellateians 42 30 4 8 134 60 +74 94
2 Old Tamarindians 42 25 10 7 103 52 +51 85
3 Rear Admirals 42 25 9 8 98 61 +37 84
4 Old Realists 42 25 7 10 109 82 +27 82
5 Old Calculators 42 24 5 13 98 61 +37 77
6 Humunculus Alumni 42 22 8 12 96 70 +26 74
7 Old Geodimensionalists 42 21 6 15 87 74 +13 69
8 Old Pandaemonians 42 15 14 13 83 79 +4 59
9 Old Uncertaineians 42 16 8 18 66 66 +0 56
10 Old Athleticians 42 15 11 16 75 92 -17 56
11 Old Asyluuminarians 42 15 10 17 52 61 -9 55
12 Old Adminerologists 42 15 9 18 66 81 -15 54
13 Old Gourmeteleians 42 14 11 17 67 77 -10 53
14 Old Tanguins 42 14 9 19 63 70 -7 51
15 Old Gallileians 42 14 8 20 51 73 -22 50
16 Old Cartographers 42 14 6 22 63 81 -18 48
17 Old Economicals 42 13 7 22 71 99 -28 46
18 Old Librarians 42 13 5 24 82 103 -21 44
19 Ancient & Unjustifieds 42 13 4 25 68 82 -14 43
20 Old Titans 42 12 6 24 57 90 -33 42
21 Old Membraneians 42 10 10 22 65 101 -36 40
22 Old Apocalypticians 42 7 13 22 54 93 -39 34
Students Union Football League
Students of Sixteen Bits retained their crown in remarkable fashion with a record points haul, leaving the Young Tamarindians in their wake. Cabin Boys, from the Portmuthian Naval College, showed some sign of their potential with a decent finish - look for more from them next season.
Team
1 Students of Sixteen Bits 42 31 5 6 131 59 +72 98
2 Young Tamarindians 42 24 8 10 90 53 +37 80
3 Library Apprentices 42 22 7 13 102 83 +19 73
4 Junior Theologians 42 21 9 12 85 70 +15 72
5 Titanium Juniors 42 21 7 14 93 73 +20 70
6 Cabin Boys 42 21 5 16 87 60 +27 68
7 Young UnHumans 42 19 6 17 88 76 +12 63
8 Young Tanguistas 42 18 9 15 88 72 +16 63
9 Young Membrane Scientists 42 17 8 17 73 87 -14 59
10 Students of PE 42 16 9 17 76 80 -4 57
11 Kitchen Whippets 42 15 11 16 77 81 -4 56
12 Geodimensional Undergraduates 42 15 11 16 91 74 +17 56
13 Young Gallileians 42 15 10 17 62 72 -10 55
14 Cartographic Juniors 42 16 6 20 67 73 -6 54
15 Asyluum Inmates 42 14 10 18 56 70 -14 52
16 Cunning Linguists 42 14 9 19 60 73 -13 51
17 Young Lucifereians 42 12 13 17 69 76 -7 49
18 Young Horses of the Apocalypse 42 12 11 19 53 85 -32 47
19 Office Juniors 42 13 8 21 58 83 -25 47
20 Students of Uncertainty 42 11 12 19 51 83 -32 45
21 Economistas 42 11 8 23 60 85 -25 41
22 Young Surrealists 42 9 8 25 59 108 -49 35
Haphazard Foundation First Division
Extramarine looked like the prime candidates throughout this campaign, deposing the champions Trench Brigade with something to spare, and Trench will be disappointed to miss out on the first Senior Championships after falling behind the Casuals on head-to-head results - with many quarters looking for a return to goa difference and goals scored as the primary deciders. Tragedy struck for four teams to suffer the first ever relegation, Nevervember Social Club a surprise and hapless Portsmouth FC never far from trouble.
Team
1 Extramarine 42 26 8 8 90 44 +46 86
2 Arkham Asyluum 42 24 9 9 81 32 +49 81
3 Búa's Boys FC 42 23 7 12 102 76 +26 76
4 Wight Spit Casuals 42 22 7 13 92 68 +24 73
5 Trench Brigade 42 22 7 13 110 80 +30 73
6 Dada FC 42 18 13 11 77 64 +13 67
7 Haitiëns 42 20 7 15 101 64 +37 67
8 Holy Empire Heretics 42 19 9 14 81 80 +1 66
9 Miskatonia 42 20 4 18 96 66 +30 64
10 Belushi Cartel 42 17 8 17 78 80 -2 59
11 Saracen Assassins 42 17 6 19 78 84 -6 57
12 Genocidees 42 15 11 16 59 82 -23 56
13 Haphazardistas 42 15 9 18 71 89 -18 54
14 Accident & Emergency 42 14 12 16 71 58 +13 54
15 Futilitarians 42 16 4 22 64 81 -17 52
16 Stockett Brigade 42 13 10 19 58 68 -10 49
17 Whelm Town Welfare 42 14 6 22 64 86 -22 48
18 Solutionists 42 13 8 21 75 88 -13 47
19 CTE Refugees 42 13 8 21 64 87 -23 47
20 Portsmouth FC 42 11 11 20 55 76 -21 44
21 El Narcos 42 10 9 23 61 114 -53 39
22 Nevervember Social Club 42 9 9 24 63 124 -61 36
Haphazard Foundation Second Division
FC Berserkr and Axle Tundra FC were the favourites for this inaugural season, with three of the promoted sides, especially Rosicruxxia, always on the favoured list. The real surprise, apart from Axle's indifferent campaign, was that of runner up Clunwardine Salopia, tipped for the basement and almost defying the odds to win the title, missing out on the final day of the season. At the bottom, Obsidian Fortress and Tamarindo FC were undoubtedly below expectation, while Despite Rovers will have to dramatically improve if they are to avoid relegation next season to the new Third Division.
Team
1 Roscruxxia 42 25 7 10 102 57 +45 82
2 Clunwardine Salopia 42 25 6 11 113 63 +50 81
3 Sondry Hundred FC 42 22 8 12 99 65 +34 74
4 Oroboros 42 22 5 15 106 66 +40 71
5 FC Berserkr 42 18 11 13 72 64 +8 65
6 Icke FC 42 19 6 17 104 95 +9 63
7 Formicidaean 42 18 9 15 69 63 +6 63
8 Crematorium 42 19 6 17 74 68 +6 63
9 Zenegalesi 42 18 8 16 78 94 -16 62
10 Vesuvian 42 16 14 12 67 67 +0 62
11 Tundra Axle FC 42 17 11 14 82 69 +13 62
12 Asyluum Tangent 42 17 6 19 71 99 -28 57
13 Vassago 42 16 6 20 73 95 -22 54
14 Kukalayans 42 14 12 16 75 80 -5 54
15 Hvammstangi 42 14 9 19 67 89 -22 51
16 Jelahi 42 14 8 20 66 96 -30 50
17 Narcosomnia 42 13 10 19 75 80 -5 49
18 Tamarindo FC 42 12 12 18 78 78 +0 48
19 Obsidian Fortress 42 13 8 21 75 94 -19 47
20 Yudhishtra 42 13 8 21 61 75 -14 47
21 Quasiquango 42 12 8 22 55 85 -30 44
22 Despite Rovers 42 11 10 21 65 85 -20 43