World Cup 101 - The Roleplays

by **Busoga Islands** » Sat Jun 13, 2026 4:26 am

The Lakiska Daily

Top 3 moments of the Emeline Millet era

LAKISKA, BUSOGA ISLANDS- Against all odds, we did it against the Kytler Peninsulae! Hosts of World Cup 100, one of the central characters of Rushmore- slain by the Kangaroos of the Busoga Islands. And now, we find our way to the Round of 16. Imagine saying this, even just 5 cycles ago, before hiring Emeline Millet? Not only are we in the knockout stages of the World Cup for the third time- but we are here in the Last 16, for the second cycle in a row? Against all odds! All those times in the World Cup 80s when we entered qualifying, and quite literally made the playoffs, what- once? Dream big, aim high.

We're going to do a nice look backwards however. Everything changed when a manager who took Valanora to the World Cup 97 Final, stepped down, and decided that she liked this corner of Arrosia- enough to go to the literal smallest footballing nation in this part of Arrosia, and saw potential that we didn't see in ourselves. Lets' go through it- what are the three biggest moments of the modern era?

#3 World Cup 98- First ever World Cup Finals win

While we will definitely go over our first ever World Cup qualification, we've got to go back to World Cup 98- and our maiden entry into football's greatest tournament. The tournament was hosted across Pavola, and the United Republics of Yuezhou was a co-host. Not only a co-host- but a nation in the top 10. For us, we were simply happy to be in the tournament- all those Qualification failures, and then 10 cycles away from the top levels of international football- and somehow, we immediately got to the World Cup, after two generations of players only played at regional tournaments. How did that make sense? Really, it didn't- but you bet your ass we will definitely talk about that later.

Let's think about the first game of the tournament. Busoga v. Yuezhou. Like we said- opening game of the tournament, host nation expected to blitz us, and most thinking we're only there because it was the 2nd ever 48 team tournament, eh? Well, while expanding certainly help making the tournament- it surely did not mean that we didn't belong. And Uthman Ibn Jahwar had the header of a lifetime, heading Abu Sesay's cross home in the 4th minute, to give us the most shocking 1-0 lead that we've ever had. Of course, that meant we basically had to spend the entire 90 holding on for dear life- but we did so, successfully.

Ulus Talay had 9 saves- 6 in the second half. These are all guys, of course, who are still contributors to our NT. A small number of fans were able to get tickets, since the host country was at home- but the celebrations on the Islands? Explosive. Basically every city had emotions let out on the street- people hugging and crying each other on the streets, crowd surfing, concerts, tears, etc... The whole 9 yards. An unforgettable moment- we showed that we can play against the big boys, and win. Anybody, anywhere, eh?

#2 World Cup 100- First knockout stage win

We got out of our group at World Cup 98, and were eliminated in the Round of 32. Not really that surprising- we were a debutant nation in the World Cup, a nation who came in with basically no rank in qualifying. A tremendous tournament, nonetheless- what a moment the Yuezhou match provided us. While we missed a golden opportunity to play in the near abroad, as we didn't qualify for World Cup 99 in Banija, Siovanija & Teusland, and Squornshelous, we got back on track for World Cup 100- winning our group comfortably, and having our first ever direct qualification scenario. We won our group for the first time, and got to the knockout stages- this time, in Tikariot.

The opponent? Auprussia. Both nations looking to climb the international football ladder- so they both thought that they'd have a pretty strong chance of advancing. But only one nation could. And it was a tight, mostly defensive, all sorts of physical game. But when Omar Jallow won the match with a backpost header, he sent the crowd into absolute and total ecstasy. The easiest thing to do? Absolutely not. But he headed home Busoga's first ever KO victory, and with that- our climb within international football continued. We went out on penalties in the next round to Tanirinthia, a nation who made a run to the World Cup Final.

You've got to win 5 KO games to win a World Cup- and for Busoga to ever do that, well- probably not doable in our lifetimes. But if we can win one, we can win two, right? That allowed our dreams to become so much larger...

To read about the top moment of the Emeline Millet era, subscribe to the premium version of the Lakiska Daily together!

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Jun 13, 2026 7:29 am

Squorn Are Falling Apart Again
Based on this Joy Division song but also the various versions sung about football clubs that choke.
Audioslavia are 0-2-8 against Squornshelous in all competitions except the World Cup knockout rounds, where the Bulls are 4-0-0

When the margins are fine, and the pressure starts to grow
The old feud fires up from centuries ago
When the stakes are so high, the Bull brings its horns low

But Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.
Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.

When the mattresses flollop and the bedbugs won’t bite
What did you do with those guys that began World Cup 5.
Do they turn in their graves when your flags all turn white.

Oh Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.
Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.

When nobody’s watching, you show us your clout
But you choke on your steak when we’re in the knockouts
That taste in your mouth as belief turns to doubt

And Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.
Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.
Then Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.
Squorn, Squorn are falling apart again.

10: M*** F******! I can walk!

I'd gone into this series fully expecting to have the time and wherewithal to diagram out some of my favourite World Cup Final goals. That turned out not to be the case. If you're curious what the greatest goal in history is when it comes to the biggest game in football, my personal answer is Ezio Grassi and his Zidane-meets-Van-Damme game-winning volley in the final of World Cup 70, which turns out to be my favourite in both imagery and writing quality.

In terms of final RPs, my favourite might be Eura’s maiden win in World Cup 66. Aside from being one of the few RPs of that tournament that didn’t come with the responsibility of my having to grade it, it’s one of the most detailed match reports you’ll ever see, with exhaustive descriptions of each goal and even player ratings for all twenty two starters, plus six substitutes. Having been so disappointed to have lost the final of World Cup 60, Euran pride in a goal finally achieved is on full display.

Eura’s second World Cup Final win, a few cycles later against Pasarga, went entirely undocumented, at least in the World Cup thread. It was mentioned in the following Copa Rushmori, and thus flew under the radar for most.

Similarly, Sorthern Northland gave us a thousand words for winning the 55th World Cup and none for winning the 56th. While Nephara’s two World Cups came with victory roleplays, Brenecia’s shock World Cup 80 win apparently deserved none. If you search really hard, you can find a list of the players and goalscorers elsewhere, but nothing else. I refused to add any information from this tardy RP to the database as a point of principle: Any information about a World Cup final not included in the RP thread of that tournament may as well not exist.

Maybe winning multiple World Cups is just exhausting.

The World Cup 47 final is notable in that it’s the one and only occasion where two of our five-time World Champions played one another. Starblaydia versus Valanora. You’d expect it to have been featured at least once in The Idiot Project, but it hasn’t. The match was never RP’d. After roleplaying the semi-final of World Cup 47, Starblaydia would RP only once in the next two cycles. The team’s next World Cup roleplay came midway through World Cup 49. The one after that in WC50. In all, Starblaydia’s five wins produced only four roleplays. Valanora only roleplayed three of their five World Cup wins, while Vilita/Turori’s six world championships only produced two post-final roleplays from the winner. It’s a shame when you consider just how many teams would crawl through broken glass just to feature in a final, but then maybe that’s the point. It’s such a huge achievement, how on earth do you do justice to the struggle you’ve just had? How to properly affix the bow to this rarest of gifts: in a forest of unfinished stories and narrative arcs cut short by Margaret’s cruel machete, an actual finished product

If you post an RP about the World Cup final, does it even add anything to your, or anybody’s, World Cup experience?

There’s a classic 60s movie named Doctor Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb) which was supposed to feature a food fight between the fictional world’s various leaders as its finale. Though filmed, this ending never made it to the final cut of the movie. Critics generally agree that its omission from the final product is a good thing. Slapstick at the end of an otherwise darkly comic movie would have taken from it, not added to it. Doctor Strangelove is a better film for its final line being Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!. By the same token, perhaps Goran Yurán’s fifty-yard thunderbastard detracts from Audioslavia’s accomplishment in winning the World Cup. Despite the goal being so ridiculous, most people won’t remember it. Neither the scorer nor the manner in which they scored. But they will remember the team who won.

Maybe that’s enough.

Though personally, if I win anything again, I’m birthing an even more ludicrous thunderbastard than the one bequeathed to Goran Yurán.

This is the end of this series. You can access the full database of World Cup Final goals here

by **Dantopia** » Sat Jun 13, 2026 8:54 am

VOL. 46,186

LION CITY, DANTOPIA

SATURDAY 13TH JUNE, 2026

₵100

Captain Cunningham Secures Lions Victory

Dantopia Defeat Aleirave 2-0 And Progress To Round Of 16 Where They Will Play Indusse

By SAUL ARNSTEIN

Rülândéá Çölíséá
Dantopia2-0Aleirave
Half Time: 0-0
O'Higgins 60'
Cunningham 68'

See also... 26-man Roster | GS MD1 | GS MD2 | GS MD3

RÜLÂNDÉÁ, FARFADILLIS — The Dantopian national team are through to the last 16 of World Cup 101, following a 2-0 win over Anaian side Aleirave in the Round of 32 fixture held at the Rülândéá Çölíséá in Farfadillis. Two goals in the space of eight second-half minutes were the difference between the two sides, the Lions able to claim victory through a Dalton O'Higgins back-post tap in, and an Ezra Cunningham side-footed effort from inside the penalty area — with the captain also contributing with an assist on the former, in his man of the match performance. The result sees Rick Bishop's side comfortably past their first knock-out round challenge, and they will face Indusse in the next round, following their remarkable 3-0 victory over Chromatika, one of several upsets in this set of fixtures.

Dantopia began the afternoon by dominating the early possession, holding nearly seventy per cent of the ball in the opening ten minutes of action. Despite this control, however, it would Aleirave who had the game's first significant chance, when Kaleb Kahananui was late in a challenge on Valeri Tyonko on the wing, resulting in a yellow card. The subsequent free kick was whipped in with pace towards the outstretched leg of Piheve Evatene at the back post, but his poked effort flew across the face of goal and past the far post, much to the relief of Alex Bullvale in net. Had the chance fallen to an attacker instead of a defender, the outcome may have very well been different.

This Aleiravan opportunity seemed to spark the Lions into some probing action of their own, with a few promising moments arriving for Rick Bishop's side at the opposite end of the pitch. Evatene was back at the other end, able to put his body in the way of a Jeremiah Taramaia effort, following the Lion City FC player's clever flick past another defender. Then it was the turn of goalkeeper Tatyana Yusenika to brilliantly deny Adebayo Adeyemi at the near post, when the Grenadiers winger's fierce left footed strike almost found its target, Yusenika batting it away and out for a corner instead.

Both Taramaia and Adeyemi — playing in the wide forward roles either side of Bradini Brunson — continued to get into threatening areas, with Adeyemi again wondering how he didn't score, when, in the 19th minute, his well-timed run into the box found him on the end of a Johnny Kealoha lofted ball. However, his half-volleyed effort sailed over the bar instead, the veteran winger leaning back a little too far, and unable to keep the trajectory of his shot down. Brunson was relatively quiet, marshalled by the trio of centre backs in 'the Seagulls' 3-4-1-2 system. He was able to get at least a single shot on target away in the first half though, when Keegan Foster sent a long ball over the top to the forward in stride, but he couldn’t generate the required power to evade the clutches of the goalkeeper.

The Seagulls would then stand firm at the back, thwarting any promising Dantopian attacks before they could materialise until the end of the first half. Both sides would walk into the dressing rooms at the interval with their clean sheets intact, the set of managers undoubtedly haranguing their players for their missed opportunities to put their nation ahead in the tie. The early yellow card for Kahananui in the first half caused Rick Bishop to make a change at the start of the second period. He brought Dalton O'Higgins on at left back, where the two-footed defender plays for his club side, though he has often played on the right for the national team. O'Higgins had come off early with a slight knock in the fixture against Bostopia, but was raring to go in the second half against Aleirave, and made his mark on the match fifteen minutes in, but not before a cracking effort from Jonny Kealoha outside the box rattled off the crossbar, disturbing the Aleiravian goalkeeper, who had little to do up until this point in the second half.

Dalton O'Higgins

The Lions were able to press and harry the Aleirave defence following the effort off the bar and forced the ball out for a Dantopian throw high up on the right-hand side. Some neat interplay between Cunningham and Adeyemi saw the former slip into the inside channel and belt an inviting low ball across the six-yard area, ready for an unmarked O'Higgins to convert into an empty net, as Yusenika had been guarding the near post, and nobody had tracked the late run into the box by the swashbuckling full-back. O'Higgins and his Lions teammates enjoyed spirited celebrations at the Dantopian supporters' end, where the goal was scored, but were almost instantly pegged back at the opposite side. This time around, it would be Alex Bullvale's bar that would be reverberating after Fyodor Veshchik's stunning strike from just outside the box cannoned off the woodwork, onto the floor just in front of the goal-line, and away. It was close enough to the line for the forward to signal to the referee that he thought it crossed it, but replays clearly showed it didn't, with only a sliver of the ball breaching over the white paint on the bounce. It would have to cross in its entirety for it to be ruled a goal, after all.

Ezra Cunningham

This chance for the Seagulls, if anything, was a stark reminder for the Dantopians that this game was far from settled. Therefore, the team captain's contribution to the scoresheet was warmly welcomed by the travelling Lions supporters shortly after. Taramaia worked an angle on the left-hand side to cut the ball back to Cunningham, who was arriving in the box. A first-time side-footed effort that seemingly cut the grass at it hurtled into the net was enough to defeat the keeper and double Dantopia's lead. From this point forward, it looked difficult for the Aleiravians to get back into the contest, but neither their players, nor their fans would give up on the afternoon. Substitute Oleg Vorstyn would call Bullvale into action to push behind a goal-bound attempt, and the resulting corner for the opponents almost found Lihana Lehi'ona, unmarked at the back post, were it not for the deftest of deflections from Keegan Foster as it sailed over crowd of players in the Dantopian penalty area.

Kealoha would prod one wide before his own corner was headed over by the aforementioned Foster in the dying embers, but a third goal wouldn't be found, nor would it be needed, as the full-time whistle was blown and Dantopia's two-goals and clean sheet were etched into the record books, sending the Lions into their first ever Round of 16 encounter. Rick Bishop's side will face Indian side Indusse, who shocked onlookers with a 3-0 victory over 14th ranked in the world Chromatika. The fixture between the Lions and the IAC 13 champions ensures that an independent regional side will reach at least the quarter-finals of the World Cup. Many upsets were on the cards in the Round of 32. with the other results of note including Audioslavia unceremoniously knocking out reigning champions Squornshelous; hosts Farfadillis thrilling 4-2 victory over qualifying group stage rival Tanirinthia; fellow South Pacific side Dhemixia's scalping of 4th ranked Flavovespia; Snestar's 2-1 win over Group P adversary Banija; and Eshialand defeating Ko'oren, 'the Owls' being another qualifying group stage team the Lions faced.

Bishop and his over-performing side have unseated several higher ranked nations so far during their World Cup journey, and Indusse are now the 32nd ranked nation standing in the way of the Lions and a quarter-finals berth. 'The Flocking Blues' supporters have cheered their side on in many IAC tournaments, where they have made a name for themselves, and have also witnessed the team reach the Round of 16 in World Cup 96 and the Round of 32 in World Cup 100 — these being their most celebrated performances to date. Indusse are managed by Auprussian coach Pierre Camanin, who formerly managed his own native Auprussia to its first World Cup finals. He brings a wealth of experience, and a penchant for ultra-aggressive, attacking football to a side captained by winger Antonio Mersiás, who is accompanied by Rahul B Kumar and Michael Djenkzo in attack.

Indusse were the third placed team out of Group K but have seemingly kicked into high gear following their stunning 3-0 win over Chromatika in the knock-outs. They will certainly be a tricky test for Bishop's Dantopian side in the next round. Fans of the Lions will be hoping that their mesmerising run isn't close to being over yet, but the Indusseans will be eager to put a stop to the celebrations in the South Pacific. The Round of 16 tie between the two countries will take place at Den Mytologiska Maneter, in Fröndt. The frigid temperature in the mountains won't be the only thing the sides will have to put up with, as the flying jellyfish will provide another challenge, though anti-flying jellyfish repellent is apparently a rather remarkable invention — one that the match-going Dantopian fans are being urged to stock up on. The Lions are certainly not used to the freezing cold temperatures, coming from a tropical paradise, so this fixture against Indusse could be the most uncomfortable for them yet.

xg.unit
1d

Dantopia (2.25) 2-0 (0.72) Aleirave #DANvsALR #WorldCup101 #KnockOuts #RoundOf32

dantopia.football
1d

The captain @ezra.cunningham, contributed superbly with a goal and an assist in his man of the match performance, and it sees the Lions into the Round of 16 in #WorldCup101, where they will face #Indusse. #Dantopia #Lions #RoundOf16

Expected Line-up — Ro16 vs. Indusse:

Starting Eleven:
GKP: 1. Alex Bullvale
DEF: 2. Sam Robinson-Tate — 5. Makaio Cruz-Richards — 4. Keegan Foster — 16. Dalton O'Higgins
MID: 8. Ezra Cunningham (C) — 6. Kai Watanabe — 10. Johnny Kealoha
FWD: 17. Nico Hollins — 9. Bradini Brunson — 7. Jeremiah Taramaia
Available Substitutes:
13. Winston Akana — 12. Raphael Lacroix — 15. Emerson Cromwell — 21. Kaleb Kahananui — 18. Elleby Young — 20. Bradley Bing — 11. Adebayo Adyemi — 19. Zeke Edwards — 25. Zaïre Thomas

OOC DISCLAIMER: The portrait of the Dantopian player in the cica.da chirp image was created with the help of generative AI, but this was based on a completely hand-made kit image, and the entire image was also hand-edited afterwards. If proof is required for what the raw AI image was, this can be happily given upon request. The likenesses of players and managers have also been created with the help of generative AI. Every other image in this RP was completely hand-made.

by **Kanzlia** » Sat Jun 13, 2026 10:09 am

✦✦
| ⮌ | ☒
voetbal.knz
Full-resolution image is in #from-the-forge

^--voetbal!--
Audioslavia - Kanzlia Match Programme
The Bulls v. Prowlers for Kanzlia's first World Cup Round of 16

A 2-0 win over Yangchenia in the Round of 32, courtesy of goals from Sylverio van Coevorden and Christian Bagheria, sends the Prowlers through to the Round of 16. It is new frontiers for the Prowlers at this stage of the competition having been knocked out of the World Cup Round of 16 in WC99 and WC100 by Chromatika and Baker Park respectively. Incidentally the beaten Yangchenia side was ranked 76th, as compared to Baker Park ranked 28th and Chromatika ranked 26th when they knocked out the Prowlers respectively. Audioslavia is ranked 7th.

The last time Kanzlia faced a side with a rank difference of 20 was never. But the last time Kanzlia faced a side with a difference of 19 it ended rather well for the Prowlers. Mertagne in the World Cup 99 Qualifiers was ranked 46th whilst Kanzlia then was ranked 65th. Kanzlia snatched 4 points against Mertagne in both matches, with a 1-1 draw and a 5-3 win respectively. Going a bit over, the last time Kanzlia faced a side with a difference of 23 was against Aphrilia in the RSFF Centennial Cup and Chromatika in the World Cup 99 Round of 32 respectively. Both matches ended in 0-1 and 2-3 defeats respectively.

However, point difference, either KPB or its positively charged counterpart in this case, is a different story. The point difference between the Bulls and Prowlers sits at 7.08. The results with the nearest difference occured way back in Kanzlia's debut Qualifier tournament in WC97 against Aleirave, then ranked 75th with 8.79 points. The first match up ended in a 3-1 win over Aleirave, though the return leg ended in a 2-3 defeat. That 3-1 win over Aleirave is one of just six (6) wins the Prowlers managed to get over sides with a higher point difference than 7.08, which is around 25 matches had occured in this case. Funnily enough, another one of those six wins was against Audioslavia in the Cup of Harmony 89. A scrappy 1-0 win over the Bulls, then ranked 24th with 16.53 points as compared to the Prowlers then ranked 117th with 5.29 points to their names.

When comparing historical results against Audioslavia, which had occured three times past, Kanzlia actually have a positive record with two wins and one defeat.

The Bulls have beaten the defending champions in the Round of 32 rather comfortably and the Prowlers, having never been in this stage of the competition, are expected to play a bit more cautious this time around. As a result Kartioch is expected to be dropped out with defender Vince Mylan coming in to the starting XI.
✹ Previous Performances against Audioslavia
Played  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD
     3  2  0  1  3   3   0

✹ Previous Round of 16 Performances
Kanzlia 2 - 3 Avisora
Baptism of Fire 84

Kanzlia 0 - 3 HUElavia
Cup of Harmony 89

Kanzlia 1p - 1 Fhulghamous Peninsula
Campionato Esportiva 40

Kanzlia 1 - 0 Esportivan Darmen
Campionato Esportiva 41

Kanzlia 3 - 2 South Newlandia
Campionato Esportiva 42

✹ Audioslavians in Kanzlia
None

✹ Kanzlians in Audioslavia
None

✹ Kanzlia's Expected XI
Pos.    Name                       Age  Team
-GK-    Camaro Mulders              23  Axmund City (KAT)
-LB-    Oliver Blackwood            25  Armada Kotr
-CB-    Ardentius van Coevorden*    24  Baraldhur AFC (TKT)
-CB-    Christian Bagheria          26  Port Rhovanyon AFC (TKT)
-CB-    Vince Mylan                 27  VV Szbedansk
-RB-    Rick Verhoeven              26  1899 Szbedansk
-CM-    Sjoerda te'Kotr             24  AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (PDT)
-CM-    Lara Wevrin                 20  1899 Szbedansk
-LW-    Marvin Rousseaux            26  Dartford Oilers (DAN)
-ST-    Anee Artaghzena             21  Atixa Mistral
-RW-    Sylverio van Coevorden      28  1899 Szbedansk
* = denotes Captain

✦✦
| ⮌ | ☒
moc.knz/histories-and-context/queen-of-the-lake/5
^--V.--
How to catch a sororicide twelve hundred years ago
This is how Kanzlian archaeologists solved a murder case twelve hundred years removed. Part 5 of 5.

Here's the thing. Esbaurin, seems to be two different persons as one.

As seen from the Gaenologie-Koning-Koningins, Esbaurin is the son of the Queen of Sseeylant Lylan. But this text referenced the Geschiedenisse Sseeylant as their source and as we've seen that was commissioned by Aeyus. So Esbaurin was Aeyus's great grandfather which would mean that Aeyus never would have met him. Which may explain why she didn't see the problem of Esbaurin being two people.

Well, obviously Esbaurin is a person, namely child of Lylan. However, Esbaurin is a female name. Other Esbaurins of that time were all women, not a single one was a man. Those paying attention may notice that every source listed Esbaurin as a man, a lord, a King. Hell, he married Ardacia, a woman. He would need to wait at least another thirteen centuries before gender transitions were widely accepted in Kanzlian society. So, why the name?

Lylan was recorded to have one child in the 873 tax manuscripts of that era. Which was conveniently the reign of Esbaurin. However, coinage from Lylan's reign depicts the bust of her and two stars underneath. A star in this time period denotes a child of the reigning monarch, and with other coinage examples showing the same exact two stars, Lylan very likely had two children instead of one.

The coins in question, note the two stars on the heads-side of the coin underneath the bust.

What's going on here?

Historian Yvonne te'Merska scoured through the archives in Kotr, Zeylandt for the answer. Until she stumbled across the unlikeliest of finds from a report of a previous dig. The royal cemeteries of the Sseeylantin monarchs and families could be found in the old palace grounds in Korvenhoude. The graves of old kings and queens are widely known and remarkably well-preserved. Even Esbaurin himself is buried here. But back in 2001 an excavation team dug around the walls of the cemetery and they found a wooden coffin and inside was the remains of an adult woman. The excavation team theorised that it may have been the remains of an ex-partner of some king as their burial site showed signs of a rushed burial, devoid of the expected funerary items and trinkets. The team didn't know it at the time as they predated te'Merska's coinage findings, but they had found the remains of Esbaurin. The real Esbaurin.

The diagram of the burial sites
by the 2001 team. The
real Esbaurin's grave
is number '26?'
.

The cervical spine of the remains showed that Esbaurin was beheaded. What could have possibly pushed for the execution for the heir of the Sseeylantin throne? A manuscript from 843 CE may hint at the answer. Written by a royal chronicler, the entry reads and suggests that Esbaurin proper, was the envy of her younger sibling. Esbaurin held a strong clique of supporters but her younger sibling had the support of their mother Lylan.

"...the matter of Esbaurin continue to divide the royal court. Her following among the nobility remained most considerable, yet the Queen's favour rest ever more so upon the younger child."

Te'Merska suspects that a coup took place and Esbaurin's younger sibling imprisoned and executed Esbaurin. The younger sibling would take up Esbaurin's name and subsequently ruled under that name. It was unknown whether Queen Lylan had approved of this as the remains of Esbaurin was dated to be around 845 to 855, with Queen Lylan having died in 849. But regardless, Esbaurin was killed and yet, Esbaurin ruled as a usurper to the throne and cemented his legacy until today.

This view has gained significant following when recently in 2019, another manuscript was found which confirmed that King Esbaurin was known to his councilors as Tereym, a common male name of the time and is probably his real name.

Conclusion
Ardacia, the Queen of the Lake, the beloved heroince of the 1947, the woman which a generation of Kanzlian girls were named after, simply did not eixst. She is a folk figure cosplayed by a tenth-century queen as a real historical descendant so as she can reaffirm her hold over a territory of 300,000 people and barely anything interesting within it.

The journey to discover the buried truth behind Ardacia unravelled a murder mystery 1200 years long. Underneat the walls of the royal cemetery of Korvenhoude in a plain wooden box without so much as jewelry to her name, was the real Esbaurin. Not the faux Esbaurin whom a generation of Kanzlian boys were named after, not the Tereym who had his sister beheaded and buried quietly. And because of the Geschiedenisse Sseeylant, the erasure of a victim of sororicide was complete. Esbaurin became a romantic hero whilst she became an unidentified remain in plot 26.

But. She would have closure. Her plot will be named thanks to the work of Yvonne te'Merska. Her murder and the lies stemming out of her beheading is finally unravelled today. History is not always buried because it was forgotten. Sometimes the shallow grave was made deliberately. And not for a very pretty nor romantic reason. Marketing and censorship did the rest for this lie to permeate into popular culture.

Yvonne te'Merska was awarded the Celestial Cross by Sovereign Monarch Karolin in 2020, in recognition of her many, many other works.

Prv. ⮜✹⮞ Nxt.

by **Valanora** » Sat Jun 13, 2026 8:15 pm

Faeron Soldarian was back in the Empire again after his trip to Farfadillis to watch the Marauders in person, a trip that had been quite fruitful in getting to see the team pull out a victory as well as getting a chance to hang out for a small time with his old friend in Laborious Hawk. The two had been part of the so called "Hero Quartet" that had been a mainstay for the national team for many years during his playing days but Hawk was really the only one of the other three that had still talked to much. Allendren Fresco had allegedly retired to some fishing shack somewhere in Vyinta, he had been born in Vyinta so it made sense that he would go back there after his playing days, though Faeron had not thought that fishing had been a hobby of Fresco's. Maybe he just enjoyed the stillness and quiet of being away from the noise of a city or still being part of the game, he had never been that much of a social butterfly during his playing days. There was also Espy va Drake but honestly Faeron had not heard anything from the guy after he decided to retire from the game, it seemed like he simply vanished off the face of the planet. Rumor was he was traveling the world but as far as Faeron knew that was simply a rumor and no one really had seen him in several months if not a year now.

Having watched the game in person and having had that talk with Hawk, Faeron definitely had been feeling a bit nostalgic and thinking about his time when he had been part of the national team instead of how he was simply one among millions of fans cheering the team on. He had been left to his own devices this afternoon, Lathwen was supposedly going to be having to do some diplomacy he was told, with a phone call to Squornshelous apparently part of the agenda for the Empress. With nothing else to really occupy his time, he headed to the small room not too far from the residence wing that he had claimed as his own personal office. The room was not spectacularly decorated, there was a trio of bookshelves that were filled with books , most of which Faeron had never actually gotten around to reading despite having wanting them, a large L-shaped desk in a corner that was positioned so that the window in the far wall fell at the end of the desk. There was a computer with a printer, a few shelves filled with various music records or digital recordings of books, but tucked away in the opposite corner was a wooden chest, carved from an oak from a tree in the inner forest of the nation.

Picking up the chest, he carried it over to the desk and gently sat it down, taking a deep breath before undoing the latch in the front and opening up the lid to reveal the contents within. On the left side of the chest there was his signature red and black cleats that he wore during his playing days, providing a perfect cushion for the rest of the contents. Neatly folded and perfectly stacked next to the shoes was dozens of kits from opposing players both at the club and international level. He had dozens more framed and put up around the Soldarian mansion back in Soldar but had decided not to bring all of those over to the Raynor family mansion since it also was the nation's capital building, it would probably be a bit tacky to have a bunch of football kits up as decoration when foreign dignitaries were visiting. However he had this chest full of memories from his playing days, though there was certain memories that he was chasing more than others at this exact moment, which he reached for the bottom part of the lid and undid a small latch and a large hidden folder released from its hiding spot in the top of the chest.

Pulling out a large envelope from the folder, Faeron moved the chest down to the floor and then opened up the envelope and tipped it towards the desk, sending its contents spilling from inside and onto the desk. There were various letters written from family, friends, former coaches, and fans in there but there was also a collection of news clippings that Faeron had personally cut out of whatever the local paper happened to be. They were clippings from all the appearances that the Marauders had had in the Final of the World Cup, both the ones that they had won and the ones that they had come up short in. Flipping through them, he felt a certain pride but also a bit of melancholy from the feeling of goals that went without being made and knowing how much the failure to have actually broken the record for the most World Cups won weighed upon the fans of the team and the team itself. He had felt the pressure in his playing days, he felt that longing that he imagined many other fans felt about the desire to finally see the team lift that record breaking title aloft, an ache that was impossible to fill and yet was a clear case of suffering from success.

It had been forty-two years from the time the Marauders first entered into the World Cup and then winning their first, World Cup 40 in Starblaydia and Krytenia had been a monumental occasion especially with some weird supernatural occurrence happening in the Empire during that time. Goals from Laborious Hawk, Roger Zensan, and a brace from Kiso Night had sent the team into emotional delight in the four to two win over Bazalonia. In World Cup 42 goals from Kiso Night and Hawk would be the difference and make the Marauders the thirteenth team to have captured multiple titles at that time. Night had headed home a cross in the forty-third from six yards out and Hawk had strike home a penalty late on to secure the win. Zwangzug had made the game a bit of a chore and it was a battle, perhaps the most difficult of the titles that the side had won in their history. The following edition was the demolition of Demot in the Final, five to one and a home World Cup victory. Fresco scored a quick fire brace in the ninth and thirteenth minute, Espy va Drake would also get a brace in the thirty-third and the sixty-first, before Hawk would convert a penalty in the sixty-fourth to round out the scoring and the team having lifted back to back titles to have joined an elite few.

Flipping to the next two in sequence, Faeron could feel the heartache stir within him, as the next two Finals that the team had gotten to the title game end had ended with the team having come up short for the first time when getting to the championship match. Espy va Drake would be the only goal scorer for the team in the monumental clash in forty-seven in the Battleground between the side and their biggest rivals in Starblaydia. To this day many think if it had not been for Starblaydia the team was likely to have won five titles in a row for defeats to Starblaydia in the semifinals of forty-one and forty-four were the only blemishes in the team's knockout record during that time, that they won their record title in the home of the Marauders was a very bitter disappointment for the team and fans. Then in World Cup fifty-one they had run into a force in the form of Cassadaigua that was simply unstoppable for a short amount of time and his would be the only goal for the Marauders, a late arriving run into the box in the sixty-second and striking it true right near the penalty spot. It had been his first goal in a World Cup Final and it had come in a losing effort.

However it would not take long for him to get his second as the team had rebounded from the loss fairly well in the very next edition and had made their way to a second consecutive Final and looking to get their fourth title, trying to chase down Starblaydia. Poor Sorthern Northland had no idea the sort of freight train that they were running into with that team, getting the prime efforts from all of the Hero Quartet, each of the four members adding their names to the scoresheet in the four to nothing victory, a dominating performance that seemingly signaled a new era of domination for the Marauders. Faeron remembered that tap in from just inside the six after the cross from va Drake in the twelth minute, getting the team started. In the thirty-first it would be Fresco who would chest down a cross and put his foot through a half volley from eleven yards out that caught the keeper out. Nine minutes later Hawk would convert a penalty after Fresco had been brought down in the box, with va Drake finishing the rout in the sixty-first with a curling effort from the left side from eightteen yards out.

His third goal in a title game would wait for a bit of time, as despite that performance in that Final, the Marauders would have trouble replicating their forties era form and the fifties saw them struggle to showcase the dominance that had terrorized a footballing generation or two in the forties. However in sixty-one the Empire would be hosting the event again, with Andossa se Mitrin Vega and it though there had been a chance for the cohosts to meet each other in the Final it was instead the Marauders and the Vegans neighbors in Dorian and Sonya. That game was a game that depending on your perspective is one that lives in infamy or in glory, as the Marauders put seven goals past the Sylvanae Queendom in the Final, conceding only once. It had been his goal that was the seventh and final goal not just for the Marauders but in the game, punctuating a performance that seemed otherwordly at times. Much like nine cycles before, there was an idea that this was a sign of future Vanorian domination but it instead started the drought that has yet to be undone. The struggles in the rest of the sixties and seventies had lead himself, Faeron, Espy, and the other elves to eventually all hang up their boots, everyone but Laborious.

There was a bit of a bittersweet smile on his face as he recalled all those moments as a player, all the highs as well as the lows that he had experienced. Part of him wondered how Hawk was still doing it, how he could endure all the struggles that he had been through in all the years that he had been playing the game and as the captain of the team. The amount of burdens that Hawk must have carried for all the teams that he had captained, twice more making the Final but coming up short both times. It had to leave a mark on the man, had to feel like that goal of getting a sixth world cup for the nation was always going to be out of reach. Yet even now, he seemed like he was convinced it was just around the corner and within reach of the team. Faeron had seen the knockout bracket and knew the odds seemed quite long, a potential quarterfinal matchup with second ranked Saint Eleanor was about as bad a hurdle the team could get. He had watched the team against Edsmontik the other day, seemingly hitting their best form at exactly the right time here in the Finals, now they had the task of trying to topple the cohosts Paradystopia in Esportiva, nearly as difficult a task as any other matchup as they could get. Yet in all his time playing, he knew that any team with Hawk had a chance to take a game. There was also the promised that Faeron had made Hawk and he was hoping to have to follow through on it and create another memory to go with all those stored away in this chest.

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 2:47 am

The Libbero (sic)

By Julia Penguinson

Some Electric eel supporters strolled 'round Random town
Looking to banter and bring the local fans down

"Hey you, you pterons in kits shiny and white

"Ok, I'm just going to stop you there Julia. Sorry for the interruption, but you do know the rules. If I can just refer you to point four ..."

Paradystopia wrote:
Fourthly, no Wight. Just no.

"Oh, no. No, no. 'White', as in the colour. Not, you know, the 'other one'. Oh good gracious, no, I wouldn't do that ..."

"Drat. How utterly foolish of me. I do sincerely apologise, Julia. Please, continue and again, very sorry."

"No, it's okay. I know how these things are. Anyway ... *ahem* ..."

"Hey you, you pterons in kits shiny and white
We've seen your team play, and they're awfully shite!"

"Considering our prospects, I don't think they're too grim
For you're overlooking our penguin star, Jim"

"You silly pterons" one Kwrpan did call
"There's no way a penguin can play football!"

"You say a penguin cannot play football?
Don't come crying to us when you meet your downfall

For Jim's excellent positioning is what sets him apart
And that skill alone should strike fear in your heart
He'll snuff out your attacks before they even start
For at stealing possession, he's mastered that art."

Further discussions on the subject, the eels fans chose to shirk
and left insinuating the pteron's mother pays the bills with sex work

So these supporters continued their trek to the ground
When they called out a xat' also stadium-bound

"Hey you, you xat' with the gingery fur
Are you ready for the loss you're about to incur?"

"Based on current records, it's your chances that are slim
For you're overlooking our penguin star, Jim"

"You stupid xat'" one Kwrpan did call
"There's no way a penguin can play football."

"You say a penguin cannot play football?
Don't come crying to us when you meet your downfall

It's true that his technique is unorthodox
But with ball at his feet, your defense he'll outfox
For someone so small he's a menace in the box
And if you're not fully prepared, you are in for some shocks."

Seemingly the Kwrpans found this response truly heinous
Moving away whilst alluding that this xat' was an anus

Later by pitchside at a drab Charlie Meadow
A journalist sat and readied their pen for the get-go

'Of the numerous oddities I've seen so far today
None beat putting a penguin on the field of play'

Then was the moment that the whistle blew
The home team v Kwrpania in the round of 32

'Detached from reality' this reporter did scrawl
'There's no way this penguin can play footba ...'

... "Oh."

The penguin whose positioning sets him apart
The penguin who snuffs out attacks before they start
The penguin with technique that's unorthodox
The penguin who's surprisingly adept in the box
The penguin with skill to strike fear to your heart
The penguin who steals possession like an art
The penguin thus promised to dish out a shock

... Has scored with there being barely any time on the clock

The supporters dumbfounded, couldn't believe what they'd seen
Even watching agog the action replay on the screen

"Hey ref!" they screamed, they protested, they cried
"Surely that penguin must have been offside"

But alas, it was a legally fair smash-and-grab
For Jim was played onside by Mamzwb-bab

"What an absolute joke!" one Kwrpan did call
"How can a penguin beat us at football?"

You thought a penguin could not play football
And it turned out that penguin proved to be your downfall

"Thank you Julia, that was a lovely bit of prose on the recent match. Again, apologies for my unwarranted interjection. One small note would be that it does come across as though Jim was the sole defining factor in the victory and whilst, as a penguin, I'm all for that, it does perhaps overlook the efforts of our human and xat'i compatriots. I mean, certainly Jim's goal inside a minute certainly got the crowd going, especially in the home stadium of the Random Penguins, and that left the Electric Eels a bit shell-shocked and on the back foot. However, we shouldn't overlook that Amelya Anastasyasdottyr's late brace were what really made the result appear one-sided."

"Well, we can leave the more factual reports to the journalists, can't we? I think Jim's goal deserves celebrating, especially against a top ten ranked opponent."

"No, that's very fair. Thank you Julia. Ok, who's next? Ah yes, of course. My dear hens and cocks, we have a non-penguin guest today, everyone give a big flipper for Xharrhju; a xat'i friend who's currently studying Paradystopi languages and is hoping to preen up on her Greater Penguinic. I believe you have prepared a reading for us, Xharrhju?"

"Yes thankings. I does reading have."

"Lovely, I look forward to this. Ok? Don't be shy, dear, the stage is yours."

A Match of Football: A poem of Greater Penguinic

by Xharrhju

This is my thought. Excuse me.
And you do maybe a disagree
but Tanarinthia only lose
because Farfs no want bad news
so Lithico bribe the referee.

"Wonderful effort, Xharrhju. Are you a fan of Tanirinthian football?"

"No. Just no want Farfadillis do better Paradystopia than."

"Sadly, that is going to be a tough ask. What with us facing the multiple-former-World-Cup-champion Vanorians, and them facing some country no-one's even heard of."

NB

Any similarities between the first poem and this well-known English children's book are a figment of your imagination.
Regarding the subject matter of the second poem, FFS Maggie ...

by **Aphrilia** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 3:54 am

ANOTHER DANCE ON THE STAGE
It is the third time he got here with this team, another dance on the multiverses biggest stage. And the feeling never leaves him.

That feeling of every game potentially being the last for this tournament, the feeling of your hard work being displayed to the tens of thousands in the stands and millions at home, the feeling of every second potentially deciding your fate. Potentially five games that make you feel it all, the next one amplifying the last. That is a feeling Leonardo Bianchi knows.

Despite the fact that the Crpostranian manager has been in this exact spot two times before with this team, it doesn't make dealing with the fact that The Anchors were playing in the knockout rounds any easier. He's won it all in the Independents before, but this was a larger, more grander stage. The best teams of the entire multiverse would be playing here, every single one of them a credible threat to win everything. It never subsides, only intensifies. And the only way to deal with it is to get better at controlling it.

And the only way of doing that is to go further. Zenic stood between the next round, but he knew what this team wanted. The Anchors have always been a team that tries their best regardless of their opposition or what situation they find themselves in. But this time around, there was another deeper reason why they wanted to do their best.

For the sake of one of their own in Amelia Haze, who couldn't be fighting alongside them on the field. That alone was enough fuel.

So coming out for the game, everyone was prepared to give it their all. In regards to the team, there were definitely some who questioned Bianchis tactical decisions. But he was ready for it, as at the end of the day, the line-up he determined was the one he believed that would suffice for the team to achieve victory. He shouldn't be afraid of making these calls.

The main worry for many was Kyra Von Kachel starting. She is usually a substitute for Phillip Karnwell whenever The Anchors concede a penalty late into the game, not starting as often as other second choice goalkeepers. But this time, she would be between the sticks. Zenic was a more offensive oriented team, and Bianchi had that feeling they would get plenty of shots. Whilst Karnwell was better on the ball, it is generally agreed upon that Kachel was the better shot-stopper. She is Aphrilias designated penalty/shot killer.

But other than that, this line-up was considered to be "solid" by many. And in the game, the players certainly proved that. Ines Forrestal scored early with her usual antics, going wide before cutting inside and scoring with a curled shot within seven minutes of the game. Getting the lead early proved to be great for Aphrilia, all they had to do was soak up pressure.

Soak up pressure they did, as Kachel made six saves in the first half alone. It wasn't that Aphrilia played badly, Zenic were just taking whatever chances they can get. One of the shots was a free kick in the 39th minute, and Kachel made a great save with one hand stretched out. She was proving her worth in this game, and Bianchi was considering a few things because of it. The last few penalty shoot-outs Aphrilia were involved in, he had failed to switch Kachel in for Karnwell. Chromatika and Kwrpania come into mind.

The first half ends with Aphrilia one goal ahead of Zenic. And after that, The Anchors dictated the game with The Survivors not getting much opportunity.

The game was smooth sailing, with substituted Maya Gridley-Evra scoring a goal before the 50th minute mark to increase Aphrilias lead to 2-0. One pass gets interrupted, Natasha Aston dictates the tempo and directs the team to attack, then Gridley-Evra scores in a one-on-one against the goalkeeper. This is what solidified victory for The Anchors.

Zenic wouldn't get much chances, with Kachel only facing three shots on target. When the final whistle blew, that was that. The Anchors would be heading towards the Round of Sixteen. Before parting ways, Geraldo Zys, manager for Zenic, had approached Bianchi and offered some words of support. He had learned of the medical incident during the Chromatika-Aphrilia game whilst working out a game plan for The Survivors final group stage game. All that Bianchi could respond with was a "thank you" and "good match" in return.

This game was overall a solid showing from Aphrilia. There were a few things that Bianchi knew would be questioned, such as the early substitution of team captain Jessica Rhine-Faust and starting Silvie Grace-Holtzer for the second time straight. For the former, Bianchi needed Rhine-Faust at full strength for the later matches. If Aphrilia can get through the early rounds without exhausting her too much, the captain could have a much stronger effect in games later in the tournament. She has been playing non-stop, afterall.

As for Grace-Holtzer, well, she has been playing well. There doesn't seem to be any reason to stop starting her. But because she is fresh on the team, Bianchi wants to perhaps keep her as an ace. Sure, she played the same way Haze did with their intellect being their best asset, but Grace-Holtzer was also better than Haze in every other department.

And those were considerations he had to take in, knowing which team Aphrilia was going up against in the Round of Sixteen.

Snestar had done the unbelievable, defeating Banija in an incredible upset. While Bianchi was fine with either opposition, he was more confident going up against Banija as The Anchors had a positive record against The Kadongo Kamu. This would be the first time that The Anchors face off against The Viola, and these sorts of matches have uncertainty to them.

Bianchi doesn't particularly like having to deal with uncertainties at critical stages. But in this case, if Aphrilia want to go further, then he will have to do as such. There are a few considerations he had to take for the starting line-up, but after some consultation with his assistant manager in Joseph Alan, this was the call he decided to make.

Whether or not these decisions bring Aphrilia closer to glory or immediately into ruin, only time can really tell.

World Cup 101 R32 / (Forrestal 7', Gridley-Evra 49') Aphrilia 2–0 Zenic
Starting XI: Von Kachel; Burns - Christonson - Grace-Holtzer - Knacke; N. Aston - Rhine-Faust - Wallace - Elliot; Forrestal - Meyer-Bertrand
Substitutes: Gridley-Evra/Strauss > Rhine-Faust/Burns (39'), Villa > Forrestal (HT), Paxton/Algrave-Scalese > Grace-Holtzer/Wallace (66')

Line-Up v Snestar (L to R)
Karnwell; Gillingham - O'Truffet - Paxton - Hosokawa; Arthur-Morgan - Rhine-Faust - M. Aston - Morgan-Keynes; Lacey - Villa

by **Indusse** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 6:34 am

WORLD CUP SPECIAL | SPORTS EDITION

SCORES SETTLED, OFF TO A NEW START?

Somewhere in Farfadillis: That would have been one of the biggest upsets in the Round of Thirty Two stage of this World Cup. Statistics and form kept Chromatika to be the favourites to advance to the next stage. Meanwhile Indusse was only in there with the need to take a revenge for their elimination at the Independents Association Championship after seeing how tough their opponent could be. As Camanin had informed after the final match of the group stage, substitutions took place this time and they actually did make a difference. As the flocking blues went in for a very crucial match at Farfadillis, they were quite stressed about the situation. Will the team make it or is it another humiliating defeat in hand?

As the game started, both the teams were equally sharing the possession. But, Chromatika seemed to have a upper hand against the flocking blues in many situations. This was pretty evident when their captain Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov was making a lot of shots on the target. Thanks to Shehzad, none of it found its mark. As the pressure was building up, the fans also started getting agitated. During the thirty second minute, which looked like a normal counter attack that could be blocked by the opponent's defender, Indusse had their first goal scored. O'Shaughnessy who started the run from the other half, chipped the ball to Grundjee on the left hand side. Grundjee advanced forward with the ball and crossed it into the box. The cross was headed towards the post by Djetson but the opponent's goalkeeper punched it away. But the punch doesn't seem enough as it landed right next to Rahul B Kumar, who kicked it inside the goal leaving Chromatika behind by one goal.

Both the teams continued to push for more goals but there was nothing that made a movement to the scoreboard until the first half. As the Indusseans went in for the half time break, Pierre Camanin called up an emergency meeting. No one knows what happened back there but when they were back in the pitch, it was a whole new team out there. The Indussean squad seemed more confident and that could have been due to the early goal and whatever that happened inside the dressing room. The change in the attitude was visible pretty well in the game since players from O'Shaughnessy to Djenkzo was found running around the pitch with a bunch of counter attacks. The fans were overjoyed with the change in tides and they expectations seems to have been growing more.

Soon the change in the tides started to bear fruits. From another counter attack from Grundjee, Djenkzo scored a beautiful Finesse goal at the sixty eighth minute which further increased the lead. That one side of the stands where the Flocking Blues were stationed was now roaring with joy, its two goals registered against none and that too against a highly ranked side like Chromatika. Two goals were now in which further solidified the lead, but that does not seem enough since Chromatika continued to be as fierce and strong as ever. Camanin seemed to be tensed even as the opponents were still strong and not ready to give up. He kept on giving instructions and soon made a substitution which let Tsang Po on the field. This move had to make sure that the defense stayed up strong. Vineeth who was substituted at the half time continued to pressurize the Chromatik defenders, his presence gave a boost for the midfielders to further come near the penalty box.

As the game neared its end, Chromatika continued to push hard. Shehzad's luck one could say because closer to the eighty first minute of the game, the fans witnessed a counter attack by Evin Françine-Miklavivec which was so close to be converted into a goal. The ball flew past the keeper towards the goal but guess it was the wrong angle and it hit the post and deflects. Alas! That is a huge disappointment for Chromatika. The game goes on with both the teams playing as strong as they were, Chromatika's victory seems too far to achieve by now. The final nail on the coffin was hit when the Indussean captain Mersiás scored his ninety-first International Goal (WCQ + CoH + IAC + WC Proper Goals) at the eighty eighth minute from a beautiful Rabona kick. Soon after the referees called for a few minutes of extra time which went uneventful. The whistle was blown, the revenge was taken, Indusse wins and advances to the Round of Sixteen.

Indusse is now off to Den Mytologiska Maneter, a stadium in Fröndt, Farfadillis after a short press meet from Camanin's side. Indusse is set to face Dantopia in Den Mytologiska Maneter for the Round of Sixteen. This would be the first time Indusse is facing Dantopia in an International event and this seems to be an unpredictable kind of a match. Indusse also shares a connection with Dantopia through Indusse's football Kits. It is Nerio, a sportswear manufacturer based on Dantopia who had designed and produced the Indussean Kits. Meanwhile in the 101st edition of this World Cup, Dantopia did not have a very smooth qualification. During the qualifiers, they advanced to the playoffs as the third best in their group. Dantopia faced The Ko-orenite Constellation in the playoffs and advanced after they won the tiebreaker match after drawing 3-3 on aggregate. In the WCQ Group Stage, they qualified as the second in line in Group P just behind Banija. Meanwhile Dantopia was ranked 82nd in the World during the last release of the rankings and Indusse seems to be further up in that list. Would this be an upset or a safe win to the quarter finals for Indusse?

Indusse 3 - 0 Chromatika
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson, Adhaan, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaughnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Mersiás (c), Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: Rahul ⏷ Vineeth ⏶, Paulson ⏷ Tsang Po ⏶
Goals: Rahul (32'), Djenkzo (68'), Mersiás (88')

by **Pasarga** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 9:11 am

The Wanderers had arrived into Farfadillis hoping that they were going to be here for a prolonged stay in the Arrosian nation, after making the trip from Esportiva following the conclusion of the group stages. The perfect group stage had been a huge moment for the team, a punctuation of how quickly ones fortunes could change with a bit of hard luck and a pinch of luck coming to your side. Having been eliminated in the group stages in two of the four tournaments thus far that had expanded to forty-eight teams was a point of national shame, especially when one of those had been on home soil and in the first edition to feature the additional teams and they had been the favored team to advance at the onset of the Finals in both instances. Last edition it had felt like the Wanderers cause was hopeless, the talismanic striker turned talismanic manager Thor could not bear the weight of the shame of having failed and thus he and his entire staff had resigned after their elimination on that final group stage matchday, a moment that felt like all the progress of the past decade under the manager had been erased. Dark were supposed to be the times ahead for the Wanderers, someone forgot to tell lady luck.

Igor Topić took over and navigated the Wanderers to another semifinal appearance in the Copa Rushmori, their third in the last four editions as the team's fortunes had changed back to what had been the norm after a three edition streak of failing to get out of the groups, as well as an edition of not entering completely. It had been the exact sort of tournament that was a palette cleanser, it refreshed the squad and gave them, as well as the fans, the belief that not all hope had been lost with the resignation of Thor. While the success that the former striker had desired for the Wanderers had not come under his watch, he had set up the national team program to succeed with all the initiatives that he had been doing off the pitch as much as he had been doing the best he could on the pitch with the national team. SuperLiga clubs now were actively developing their Pasargan talent and letting them compete for starting positions rather than looking to sell them on and relying on talents brought in from abroad. The academies of CAP and Tani among others were producing a generation of players who were accustomed to competing for spots and at the highest level, with the SuperLiga once more considered a top league in the sport. The foundation had been set for the Wanderers to build themselves back up and to being a knockout threat for many editions of the tournament to come.

Luck had been there in the qualification campaign, luck in seeing their qualification rivals in Zwangzug be bit by the upset bug as much as the Wanderers had been as well. A final matchday demolition of Saint Eleanor in Torgos had been the hard work paying off, allowing the Wanderers to secure second place in the group and unfortunately for Zwangzug off to the playoff system where they would be toppled, the thin margins of the international game showing their stripes once more. Those thin margins would be ever present in the group stages as well, three one goal victories for the side from the Dual Islands was perhaps showing a little bit of fortune in having won all three of the games but it was better to have gotten a bit lucky now than the alternative of having been plum out of luck like they had been last edition. If they were going to have to ride their luck to get deep into the tournament, then so be it, Biyambi was going to be the first test if that was sustainable or not, if the team's determination to do better than they had before would help them make their own luck to get them over the hump.

A defense that had been near lock down caliber of levels in the first two games of the group stage was finding it difficult to keep the four attacking playing system of Biyambi in check, the pressure on the defense and in the middle of the park was quite intense. Being outmanned in the middle was not completely uncommon for the Wanderers but being pressured the way they had been in this game was and the opposition was able to strike true on three occasions, Óskar being beaten thrice in net after only giving up two goals in all of the group stages. However international football is a place where unless you a fielding a team of superstars, you are looking at one form of attack more often than not and this is the counterattack in some form or another and the Wanderers were utilizing it to great effect to keep up with the ambitious aggression of the Biyambi team. Bogdan Laszlo would hit the first goal of the game in the ninth off four pass back to front counter move, Zagorec leveling things at two all in the forty-third off a counter move as well. Tarján Ságy would put the Wanderers ahead briefly in the fifty-first when he got to a rebound that came from a shot off a counter, and then Katinka Fazakas would make it four counterattacking goals in the eighty-fourth minute to take the lead and seal the victory for the Wanderers, negating the goals from James Makina, Christopher Kumwenda, and Limbikani Chiwaya for Biyambi.

A fourth straight one goal victory and it all coming off the counterattacking style that the manager preferred over an outright attack might have been riding the luck of the team a bit too much, yet they were here all the same. A series of upsets as well as this half of the bracket having been weaker upon the draw than the other half now meant that the Wanderer's opposition in the next round at rank sixteen in the form of the Busoga Islands were the highest ranked team left in this half of the draw. A one to nil victory over The Kytler Peninsulae in the first knockout round after topping their group with seven points was an impressive feat for the small island team from Arrosia. Their defense was fairly stout but it was not quite the same as the likes of Audioslavia or Ko-oren, their offense decent but not going to completely put the fear of the Sacred Fire in you like the likes of Biyambi's or Farfadillis might have. They played in a traditional four four two formation that looked to somewhat mirror the Wanderers own, even if the Pasargan one operated more like a wide diamond in the modern day. Neither side seemed to have a distinct tactical advantage against the other, it was going to be a battle of will and whom luck favored on the day. Luck had so far been quite the nice mistress to the Wanderers, was there room for another round of that good luck or had they spent it all in getting to this spot in the first place?

by **Snestar** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 11:51 am

(AI Generated image in the background)

WC101 Round of 32: Banija 1-2 Snestar
Goalscorers (Banija):
85’ Cyrile Resnais-Mahama
Goalscorers (Snestar):
16’ Marta Camilla Barami
38’ Fabio de Filippi
Player of the Match: Marta Camilla Barami

Snestar shockingly defeats Banija in incredible upset: the Viola on its way to the Round of 16

Once again, against all odds, the tiny Viola has managed to gain its first ever World Cup Knockouts victory, defeating 3-time World Champions Banija in what was arguably the biggest upset of the Round of 32. Both the team and the Snestaryans genuinely couldn’t believe they had gone this far, especially as the perennially pessimistic Snestaryan media predicted Banija to absolutely obliterate the Viola (with the most predicted result in Snestar being a 4-0 in favor of Banija). Despite all of the pressure, Edoardo di Palma’s team has proved everyone wrong, sending the National Team on its way to face Aphrilia in the Round of 16.

Banija 1-2 Snestar: Match Report

After the Viola’s surprise qualification to the knockout rounds of the WC101, Snestaryan media had still rightfully remained skeptical regarding the Round of 32 match against Banija. Only a few Snestaryans thought the Viola was actually going to win (players included), and were more than happy with the idea of going back home at this stage of the competition. After all, after achieving so much as one of the Pot 4 teams, it seemed like Snestar had already given it all. However, as the Viola and Banija entered the pitch, facing each other for the first time ever, the wind started to blow in favor of Edoardo di Palma. At first, Snestar had closed itself in a tight wall, expecting to remain shut down inside its own half for the majority of the 90 minutes… Yet, there was a missing presence within Banija’s National Team, which might have been the key to Snestar’s success: Satong Bonda, who’d been suspended due to accumulating too many yellow cards in the group stage, apparently was the anchor that Banija needed to dominate the Viola, resulting in a surprisingly balanced first quarter. Despite lacking attackers (both due to the hyper-defensive 5-4-1 formation and the trauma deriving from The Holy Empire’s penguin slaughter), the Snestaryans tried to pursue offensive plays whenever they could exploit cracks within Banija’s pressure, mainly thanks to Martin de Roux directing the slow build-ups with brilliance. All this effort seemed to have paid off: in the 16th minute, defender Marta Camilla Barami scored a fantastic goal from the right corner, after partnering with De Filippi to double as impromptu wingers; around twenty minutes later, De Filippi scored a goal of his own, sending Snestar back to the locker rooms with a 2-0 lead at halftime.

After the first half, Edoardo di Palma was feeling incredibly nervous: after all, in his 10 years of coaching Division Alpha top clubs, he’d never experienced the feeling of being at such an advantage against a much stronger opponent. During the entirety of the remaining time, he was thinking of what tactics to utilize if Banija were to equalize and send the match to extra time. Luckily for him, Snestar remained tightly in control, constructing an imperfect but stable defensive fortress that left no opportunities for Banija. In fact, despite Cyrile Resnais-Mahama’s set-piece goal in the 85th minute, the Viola managed to stand back up again, maintaining control until the referee blew the triple whistle, signing Snestar’s first ever qualification to the Round of 16, and driving the security staff insane, as once again the entirety of the National Team (benched players, tacticians, fitness preparators etc.) swarmed the pitch to celebrate.

After the match, we interviewed Edoardo di Palma, or at least tried to: once again, he was too busy getting drunk with the rest of the National Team, and this time he seemed unable to act on his own. The next day, we tried to reach him once again, but we were informed by Elisa Baldriga that he’d been metaphorically left “high and dry”.

Round of 16 vs Aphrilia
5-4-1 Formation
GK 1 Federico Calvaresi (C)
LB 5 Riccardo Cavaliere
CB 23 Fabio de Rossi
CB 4 Vittorio Gallerani
CB 32 Sebastiano Balestri
RB 13 Marta Camilla Barami
LM 10 Martin de Roux
CDM 26 Angelica Malavoglia
CDM 6 Davide Scognamiglio
RM 20 Fabio de Filippi
ST 21 Veronica Lodigiani

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 1:01 pm

OOC - image generated by NightCafe AI image generator. Japanese text a translation from English using Google Translate, and then translated back into English for the version at the foot of the post.

MANIFESTO OF THE NINJA PENGUIN LIBERATION FRONT

Spheniscidae of the multiverse rejoice! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

For decades now you have toiled as underspecies of the humans, elves, dwarves, ursines, fluffy bunny rabbits, and other assorted species that have dominated the World Cup. But World Cup 101 has brought a new wave of oppression against our brothers and sisters in Paradystopia, as ravenous shoggoths masquerading as the 'national football team' of the Holy Empire have unleased their terrible hunger on our innocent brethren and sistren.

We have stood back, we have observed, we have restrained ourselves in growing horror - but we can restrain ourselves no longer. The shocking scenes before last night's Vdara match, where the shoggoths killed the penguin mascots in the tunnel, before dragging their hapless corpses onto the field of play, only to then consume their helpless prey, and then form strange non-Euclidean symbols on the sidelines with the penguins' flesh-stripped bones was a step too far.

With the Holy Empire winning the match 2-1, and with the mascots in the Round of 16 match between Qusmo and the Holy Empire at serious risk of their lives, we must act!

The Ninja Penguin Liberation Front is made up of sentient penguin ninjas from across the multiverse. None of us are from nations participating in the World Cup, but all of us care deeply for the well-being of penguin kind. You may recognise some of us from our roles in such prominent penguin martial arts films as:

Five Flaming King-Fu Flippers of Death
Ninja Penguin Idiot
Ninja Penguin Idiot II
Ninja Penguin Idiot III - The Penguining
Icebergs of Death
The Penguin Lives Again
The Ninja Penguin Squad

and...

忍者ペンギンは、自分に悪意しか抱いていなかった哀れな邪悪な敵を攻撃し、打ち負かす。*

But our ninja penguin celebrity, once achieved was empty and hollow. We looked for a new purpose across the multiverse. And so we formed the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front, seeking to protect penguins everywhere from such forms of oppression as climate change, being eaten by shoggoths, and being forced to live too close to the equator.

These are our demands:

1. All penguinkind shall be free of the risk of being eaten by shoggoths, even the stupid ones from Paradystopia

2. Tuxedos are to be banned as a form of shameless trolling of penguins

3. All governments harboring penguins, regardless of the sentience of their penguin species, shall ban climate change unless said climate change is making things colder

4. Where the process of warming climate change cannot be arrested, global governments in negatively impacted nations shall instead take the perfectly reasonably alternative step of moving their planet further away from their sun

5. All sentient penguins above the age of 2 shall have the right to vote

6. No bears can be armed in areas where penguins reside

7. No penguins shall be forced to live near the equator, except on ice planets

8. All sentient penguins shall be taught the mystic ways of penguin kung-fu, so that they too may join the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front

FAILURE TO MEET THESE DEMANDS SHALL RESULT IN THE NINJA PENGUIN LIBERATION FRONT SEEKING TO LIBERATE THE MASCOTS IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THE QUSMO - HOLY EMPIRE MATCH.

YOU DO NO WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SUBJECT TO OUR MAD PENGUIN MARTIAL ARTS SKILLS!

The time has come....

BEWARE THE POWER OF THE NINJA PENGUIN LIBERATION FRONT!

* The ninja penguin attacks and defeats a pathetic, evil enemy who harbored nothing but malice towards him.

by **Dhemixia** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 1:24 pm

The Making of Jonathan Obisana

Jonathan Obisana is practically a Dhemixian legend. He'll never pay for anything in Columbus ever again, and yet, he came from practically nowhere. This is the story of a kid who lived right outside Brigantine Park, grew up to play there, and how he would score the largest goal in his country's history.

Around the time Obisana was born, Dhemixian football as a concept was a footnote, if that. The national team didn't play internationally, the domestic clubs didn't really exist, and the league system was convoluted at absolute best. In short, there was no real footballing talent in the country. That permeated to the academy system, too. Unlike the Valanoras or Chromatikas of the multiverse, Dhemixia had absolutely no momentum towards becoming a true footballing nation, and they had no youth teams to develop talent and work towards that goal. Football was more of a recreational game, one that the kids played in the schoolyard and nothing more. While it also started in a schoolyard and expanded out, football was destined to become as large of a game as it did; Dhemixia was destined for it to stay there. And thus, for a large part of Jonathan's life, that's where it stayed.

The Obisanas lived in the borough of Columbus called Brigantine. No, it's not named after Brigantine Park, and yes, it does have a reason to be called that. Brigantine has been a lot of things over its history, but its original purpose was to be the largest port on the river. All incoming and outgoing goods would go through this port, and they would most likely be loaded onto or unloaded off of a Brigantine. Dockworkers, having never seen such a quantity of the same ship in one place before, jokingly called it the "Brigantine Capital of the Multiverse". The moniker stuck, and it eventually just became known as Brigantine.

As all things do, the shipping business slowed, and the borough was forced to pivot. It became a large industrial center, factories and workshops lining the streets, but with that advancement came a regression. Houses and neighborhoods became apartment complexes, parks became concrete lots, and the birds that once sang became the slow hum of machines. This lifestyle was unsustainable, and nobody was hiding it. The standard of living gradually went down, as did the population of the borough, and something had to change. They didn't know what they had to become, but they knew what they had to escape. And so, around the time of Obisana's birth, Brigantine was caught without an identity.

In his early years, Jonathan and his family shared an apartment with his friend Mario and his family. The two went to school together, played together all the time, and they both loved football. On the weekends, they'd assemble an 11-man squad of their friends, and all converge on the last park in Brigantine to go play a group of friends from neighboring Crossbuck. Jonathan and Mario were practically unstoppable on the attack and looked primed to tear up Dhemixian football together. That is, until the Columbus Constrictors came calling.

The Constrictors were the newest club in Dhemixia, and it's no secret that they are purely the result of corporate-backed expansion. FA officials had been trying forever to get a league together, but with only three teams, the format would be extremely weird. Thus, a fourth was needed, and a group based in Cutbank got the bid. Needing some sort of an academy, they found anyone and everyone who wanted to play football under the age of 18. A Constrictors scout found the park they played at, and on a day that Jonathan couldn't come, he watched them. Mario lit up the field, and to the scout, it was like discovering fire. He went up to Mario, gave him an offer from the Constrictors, and the rest is history. Jonathan's friend, Mario, was Mario Hutchinson. He would go on become the starting right mid for the national team.

Obisana, in response to Hutchinson leaving him, would go join his home Brigantine Town Academy a month later. Jonathan was one of the best players in Dhemixia as a U-18, let alone the best player at his academy, but the first team wouldn't give him an appearance. They felt that he needed to develop more, and Jonathan felt that he'd done enough to warrant a callup. This standoff would continue for the next two years, and Obisana would actually get a national team cap before he'd get one for Brigantine Town.

International play was nothing special for him in the early stages. He'd score in his first appearance and later go on to find two more during IAC 22 (including a 90+2 equalizer against Indusse), but as you'd expect, the team as a whole was not good. Obisana did fine, he looked like the only real quality on the pitch, but the real problem was finding players to build around him. Seeing that performance, Brigantine Town would call up Obisana for the first season of The Outbox League and give him the reins up front like Doug McMahon did during IAC 22.

He would take that opportunity and run with it.

15 goals, 5 assists, Brigantine Town win the league, First Team All-Outbox, The Outbox League MVP. In season one of TOL, Jonathan Obisana had potentially the greatest season in league history. Obisana went supernova in Dhemixia overnight. He was a national celebrity; you couldn't go anywhere in Dhemixia without seeing an Obisana jersey. Better yet, they were primed to make a run at World Cup 99. Marvin Bolton had become something of himself that year too, with 14 goals and 3 assists for Draegynsreim, and they were coming off a pretty good Baptism of Fire finish during the WC98 cycle.

The Dhemixians, led by Bolton and Obisana, would get to the knockouts in CoH 90 (beating Drawkland in the process) and IAC 23, but WC99 wasn't meant to be. A pretty meh qualification run would leave them in sixth out of ten, nine points short of third place, and relegate them to the Cup of Harmony that year in the Peninsulae. Despite Jonathan's best efforts, they would yet again crash out in the knockouts and be forced to look to WC100.

The centennial mark wouldn't find them well, either. The Serps would get utterly Pythagoras'd in IAC 24, managing to get grouped on 9 points from 4 games somehow, but again Obisana was seemingly the only quality on the Dhemixian side. Perhaps his finest moment of the tournament came in a 4-3 barnburner against Calgasia, where he scored what feels like is his hundredth equalizer, but it still wasn't enough to get them over the hump and win a knockout game. The WC was much of the same, with the Dhemixians again just narrowly missing the top three, but Jonathan Obisana still didn't have much help around him. Forced managerial change during the Cup of Harmony that cycle would lead to a playoff loss to Warkus, but Jonathan agreed with the whole nation that a change in leadership could do the trick and end the Dhemixians' run of not winning a knockout in any capacity.

He was right, and he'd be at the center of it.

Marvin Bolton (as an interim player-manager) would lead the Serpents to top the group in IAC 25 and finally win a knockout match 3-0 against Calgasia. They'd get rinsed by Recuecn in the Round of 16, but there was hope on the horizon in the Dhemixian camp. It would be short-lived.

Following the IAC, the Dhemixian FA would hire Banijan manager Boro Ouattara to lead them to the promised land and finally qualify for a proper. Just days later, the only other Dhemixian striker of any quality would retire from football, citing voices in his head telling him to do so. Thus, immediately before the World Cup, the Dhemixian FA was forced to call up their U-18 phenom, Randy Calhoun, and give him a chance on the first team just like Doug McMahon did four cycles ago to Jonathan Obisana.

The decision would pay dividends, and then some.

Through 18 games, the Serps would find a way to win 10 of them, finish on 34 points, and sneak into second place to automatically qualify for the World Cup. They have still never played a qualification playoff, and they've just now qualified for the first time ever. Obisana and Calhoun would practically enter their final form during the qualifiers, and Dhemixian fans were calling them the greatest duo since Eastfield Lodge and missing the World Cup. It's hard to say they're not, either, considering that they didn't just stop at the group stage.

Three games and a prayer to Margaret later, they've snuck into second in the group on three points. Dhemixia are through to the Round of 32. In their fourth cycle of existence.

The Serpents, out of pot 4, mind you, have to face pot 1 Flavovespia. This is the same team that won WC98, the Dhemixian debut cycle. A win here would be unprecedented, and here's where it all connects. Remember 30 years ago when I said, "This is the story of a kid who lived right outside Brigantine Park, grew up to play there, and how he would score the largest goal in his country's history"? Remember that? That kid is Jonathan Obisana, and that goal is against Flavovespia.

Let's set the scene, shall we? 71st minute. Dhemixians are controlling it in the midfield. Grant Clarke is cycling it around, half-trying to stall for penalties and half-trying to retain possession to not allow a goal. Mario Hutchinson half-heartedly makes a run up the right sideline, but he's not expecting anything. Hutchinson is instead greeted with a Flavovespian defender right in his face, Stan Scott-Wilson to be exact, and the ball at his feet. Hutchinson is essentially given the non-gridiron football version of a hospital ball, and somehow the only thing he can think to do is boot it across the field.

What Hutchinson is not thinking about in that moment is the fact that Jonathan Obisana is on that side of the field. The childhood friends find each other yet again, Obisana collects on a bounce, takes it 12 yards out, fires, and buries it far post. He's just scored the biggest goal in Dhemixian history, and he knows it, but it's not what he's thinking about. They still have to defend and hold their lead for another 20 minutes. So, instead of celebrating like the game's over, he goes to find Hutchinson. Just like those afternoons in the park in Brigantine, Mario found Jonathan for a goal.

The two embrace on the field.

They would successfully park the bus for the final 20.

Dhemixia would finally win a World Cup knockout match.

by **Qusmo** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 2:04 pm

Later, there would be time for the analysts to recite statistics.

There would be the well-worn ones about Qusmo’s form of late. Qusmo had now won each of its past sixteen matches. Had won each of its past thirteen matches against teams outside the top thirty in the Multiverse. Had not been beaten in any of its past twenty-eight WCC-organized matches against lower-ranked opponents. Had won each of its past seven matches against teams outside any of the major sporting regions, including each of their three most recent fixtures at this tournament. The Holy Empire would be Qusmo’s next opponent in each and every of those categories.

There would be the incredible ones about the place of this team in the Caldera Sun’s history. Qusmo has scored just one goal fewer at this tournament than at every prior World Cup they’ve competed in combined. They have won exactly as many matches this World Cup than every other one in which they’ve played combined.

There would be the terrifying ones about the opponent that awaited them. The average Drawkian woman stands half a meter taller, and the average Valentian starter stands seventy-five centimeters taller, than the average Qusmi, and those are precisely the teams Qusmo has had their closest matches against. Now, short and slight Qusmo would prepare to play the last supertall team left in the tournament, composed of creatures which, on average, tower at an average height of four and a half meters — though this team merely looms at “roughly” human-sized, per prior reports. That would be to say nothing of the incomprehensible nature and incredible power of shoggoths themselves, which — though limiting their violent destruction to penguins, at least thus far — strike a profound, existential fear deep in the hearts of their opponents.

There would even be the tantalizing ones about the tournament as a whole. Qusmo’s own regionmates have long been one of the team’s biggest weaknesses, but only one other Rushmori team would survive the hexadecifinals, and Qusmo wouldn’t be able to face them before the semifinals. Qusmo would next be playing a team ranked forty-fifth in the Multiverse, and if the Caldera Sun were to survive, there would be no teams in the top fifteen of the Multiverse left on its entire half of the bracket. The highest-ranked team left on Qusmo’s side of the bracket ahead of the octofinals, in fact, would be a team that Qusmo had already beaten three-nil this cycle during Qualifying.

But those weren’t the ones Jyx cared about. They still hadn’t quite come of age, but they loved football. They knew everything they could about it, about its history, to feel connected to a parent who had passed away before they could remember them. Jyx was always told that their late parent had been a magnificent player. Until the Collapse. Until there were tanks on the streets of Tracam. Until their parent had been gunned down and taken away from Jyx forever.

The most important fact, Jyx knew by heart. They didn’t hear it on TV. The commentators talked about this minuta, and that datum, and every other point of analysis imaginable in painstaking detail, but there was nary a peep about what this match would really, truly mean.

Qusmo had played the Holy Empire — just once before, when it was represented by a beach soccer team, on matchday one of World Cup 83. Qusmo won two-one, with Ilinx-Kepex Zev — now the Caldera Sun’s manager — supplying the winning goal. That match was played days before martial law was declared in Qusmo. It was the Caldera Sun’s final win before the national team would be shuttered for a generation. It was the last vestige of a golden age — not only for Qusmo’s national team, but for Qusmo itself — quashed too soon.

But now, Qusmo would prepare to take on the Holy Empire once more. The Imperials stood as Qusmo’s opponent for their first-ever octofinal in a World Cup since Jyx’s parent was still alive to see it. They stood as the Caldera Sun’s reward.

For Jyx had finally seen what even their parent never had. Jyx had heard all the stories. Jyx knew all the history. And they knew full well that no Qusmi had ever before seen what Jyx witnessed live, with their own eyes. Qusmo had won a World Cup knockout game.

After a hundred cycles of history, perhaps World Cup 101 marked a new beginning for the tournament. More pertinently, perhaps it marked a new beginning for Qusma football. And, who knows? Perhaps, one day, even more importantly, Jyx could mark a new beginning for Qusmo.

by **Farfadillis** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 2:07 pm

En los tiempos que corren, podés meter una fase de grupos paupérrima, ganarle al peor del grupo y pasar a dieciseisávos sin chistar. Después es tirar cinco monedas y ver de qué lado caen. En el medio una pelota va de un lado al otro durante noventa minutos o más y le armarmos todo un cuento alrededor.

Farfadillis, histórica y diezmada, había pasado la fase de grupos con tres puntos; jugando espantoso dos de los partidos, perdiendo uno teniendo un hombre de más por un largo trecho y ganando por una diferencia que no fue acorde al trámite del partido contra Bostopia.

El tema de meter una fase de grupos digna de una tragicomedia es que naturalmente apenas arranca la eliminación directa ya arrancás enfrentándote a oponentes de alto calibre. Después de trastabillar con un empate contra Kimi-Suomi, Tanirinthia, flamantes subcampeones vigentes, venían de ganarle cómodamente a Edmsontik, rival de alto calibre, y Pomachetti, una de las sorpresas del mundial. Venían de hacer más del doble de goles que Farfadillis en estos tres partidos.

Peor... el fútbol es fútbol. Tanirinthia no iba a arrancar un gol arriba por meter una buena fase de grupos. No; iba a arrancar un gol arriba por una desatención de Adrien Manaudou Lajoie a los cinco minutos, quien perdió la pelota ante la presión de Bridget Payne, quien rápidamente se la cedió a Alma Menzie para que cómodamente colocara la pelota contra un palo, bien lejos del alcanze de Iwaszkiewicz. Un arranque muy poco auspicioso, pero Farfadillis es un equipo largamente experiente en eliminación directa y empezar perdiendo, con su estilo ofensivo, no es razón para alarmarse.

En Tanirinthia, puede ser, quizás, todavía están un poco faltos de experiencia, más allá del innegable nivel que posee su selección (y, uno podría tranquilamente argumentar, Farfadillis hoy en día no). El gol a los cinco minutos los dejó bastante displicentes. La atención constante que hay que prestarle a la marca cuando ataca Farfadillis estaba ahí, pero no del todo. Había un deje de... insensatez, en cierto sentido, sobre todo cuando tocaba marcar a los punteros de Farfadillis en el uno versus uno, siendo que en esta iteración eran lejos los jugadores más picantes que poseía el equipo arrosiano. Los que te desdibujan esquemas. Los que te pueden hacer perder un partido que deberías ganar.

Cuestión que... minuto diecisiete... al pobre lateral derecho de Tanirinthia se le da por darle medio metro para pintar a Donato Trigueros, quien instantáneamente toma la oportunidad por el pescuezo, le amaga a un lado, después al otro, y entra al área con el pobre lateral sentado en el piso. Saca un sablazo desubicado y la cuelga del ángulo. En un abrir y cerrar de ojos el partido estaba empatado de vuelta, y todo por algo que sería hasta cruel llamarle una desatención. Pero ese era el tema de enfrentar a Farfadillis: si te toca enfrentar la mejor versión de un jugador, muy seguido no va a haber demasiado para hacer. Trigueros acababa de pudrirla al ángulo con una fuerza demoledora. Definitivamente de los mejores goles del campeonato.

Y... la inexperiencia siguió pasando factura. Farfadillis, para bien o para mal, como dicta su historia, es bastante indistinto a las fluctuaciones caóticas que pueda tener un partido. Se han aminorado muchas de las peores consecuencias de esta tendencia con los años y las décadas, pero no quita que cuando van dos goles en diecisiete minutos, es probable que los siguientes diez minutos los controle el equipo con exceso de diacríticos.

Dicho y hecho. Una pared insólita por el medio entre Lôçô y Baliñas. Este último con espacio para patear, cuando es lo úlitmo que se le debe permitir hacer, y otro sablazo. Elmer Marshall, atento, logra descolgarlo con las puntas de los dedos. Pega en el travesaño, pica hacia el área. Entrando expreso, saltando alto a toda velocidad para darle flor de frentrazo, el capitán Lêyêló Jáánsêlà, que estaba corriendo al arco por las dudas nomás; ni Varuyjá, el delantero, había anticipado que podía llegar a haber un rebote del estilo. Pero lo hubo, y Farfadillis a los veinticuatro minutos se había puesto arriba.

A Tanirinthia le tomó acomodarse al partido arrítmico que le vinieron a plantear, pero eventualmente la calidad primó por sobre lo físico y lo psicológico, al menos por unos momentos: un fantástico pase en largo de Viola Wheeler se coló entre las piernas de Adrien Manaudou Lajoie. Violet Bacchus, colándose por la espalda de Abelardo Couce, que no es ninguna bala, la cruzó sin mediar con la pelota, la defensa, ni el golero. Pateó al primer toque y el tiro fue totalmente inalcanzable, tanto por técnica como por la sorpresa que generó que ni siquiera se tomara tiempo para buscar acomodarse. No llegaba a ser un gol tan imprevisto como el de Trigueros, pero se le asemejaba. Los que habían venido a la cancha a ver fútbol, definitivamente estaban viendo fútbol.

Esto se dio sobre el final del primer tiempo. Al descanso se fueron empatados a dos. Tanirinthia con la sensación de que habían subestimado a un rival con larga historia en la competición. Farfadillis con la sensación de que tenían que seguir jugando al fútbol, y que no había mucha más vuelta pa darle.

En el segundo tiempo a Tanirinthia se lo fueron comiendo los nervios. Jugaron mejor de arranque, pero la entrada de Drî Yraceburu por Limunde Varuyjá los desacomodo mucho. Farfadillis estaba jugando sin delantero, apostando al talento de Trigueros y Daj Zhdihi, y buscando sobrepoblar físicamente el mediocampo. Jáánsêlà, Lôçô e Yraceburu eran tres jugadores con capacidad para imponerse físicamente ante cualquier mediocampo. El primero por puros atributos físicos e inteligencia, el segundo por algunos atributos físicos e inteligencia, y el tercero por muy brutos atributos físicos y algo de inteligencia. Para peor, Baliñas seguía significando muchísimo riesgo para Tanirinithia, tanto como armador como definidor. Casi que le estaba tocando jugar de falso nueve.

Tanirinthia, que no lo mencionamos pero había logrado llegar bastante veces al arco de Siloxtihuk Iwaszkiewicz, se enfrentó a que de a poco sus ataque se veían disipados cada vez más frecuentemente. Al principio era todo cor de rosa, pero de a poco el mediocampo empezó a tener que hacer pases más desprolijos por la constante presión, lo que constantemente devenía en que Alexon Sirujano terminaba teniendo todo controlado terminados los ataques, por más peligrosos que pudiesen parecer. Por otro lado, agregándole presión a Tanirinthia, Qehu Daj Zhdihi empezó a entrar en partido. Un aviso, dos avisos. Eludió a su marca y mandó un centro que Trigueros reventó contra el primer palo. Después eludió a dos y se la abrió a Baliñas para que disparara cruzado, forzando un atajadón de Elmer Marshall.

Y la tercera que armó Qehu Daj Zhdihi fue la vencida. Un tiro de larga distancia de Lôçô tras una linda recuperación de Yraceburu en mediocampo terminó en un córner para Farfadillis. Qehu Daj Zhdihi, sangre fría como nunca, se iba a encargar de tirarlo. Posiblemente el mejor tirador de centros en el mundo, una de las estrellas de Raynor City United, y hoy en día indudablemente una de las estrellas de Farfadillis... completamente en su elemento. Minuto cincuentisiete. Y la realidad es que ya hacía unos dos o tres minutos que a Tanirinthia se le notaba la incomodidad.

Centro llovido un metro por delante del punto penal. Masa de jugadores entre el golero y la pelota. Salida en falso de Marshall, un mar de violencia y uno de los mejores defensas centrales del mundo alzándose por encima del resto, llegándole la pelota de forma milimétrica. Bombazo de frente, arquero descolocado, gol de Alexon Sirujano. Farfadillis se ponía por delante, de local en La Fantás. El estadio ardía literal y figurativamente.

Tanirinthia no supo gestar estar abajo. Se apuró. Un gol abajo contra Farfadillis es algo más que manejable, sobre todo teniendo más de media hora por delante, pero es importante no apurarse. Lisa y llanamente... porque si hacés eso y no embocás una de las primeras tres que te queden, Farfadillis te clava, y dos goles abajo es una historia muy distinta. dí Völará dio indicaciones a sus jugadores. Que esto, que lo otro. Cosas defensivas por las que no iba a terminar de pasar el partido. Viola Wheeler buscó el mismo pase que generó el segundo gol. Un poco más forzado, por culpa de Jáánsêlà. Un mucho más anticipaco e interceptado, gracias a Sirujano. Pase al costado para el traidor Adrien Manaudou Lajoie. Pase largo. Yraceburu la peina. Medina la toca pero no llega a desviarla bien. En el infortunio, le cae a Qehu Daj Zhdihi. Entra al área, amaga el tiro y se la deja servida a Baliñas. Fusilazo desde apenas atrás del punto penal. Directo al ángulo. Inalcanzable. Desubicado. Cuatro a dos. Quedando veinte minutos.

A Tanirinthia se le terminaba de venir el mundo abajo. Subcampeones, en gran racha, sin duda buscando campeonar. Enfrentándose a los locales, que unos años atrás también los habían logrado eliminar, pero ahora llegaban, en teoría, diezmados. Farfadillis se dedicó a jugar a tener la pelota. No dejó de lado el juego vertiginoso: Trigueros no estuvo lejos de meter dos goles de contra. Tanirinthia no logró generar peligro real, más allá de forzarle una gran atajada a Iwaszkiewicz con un tiro muy inesperado de Lark Holt.

Tan difícil pero tan sencillo: vas y hacés dos goles más que el rival. La moneda sale cara. O cruz. Lo que sea que hayas elegido.

"Y Banija queda eliminado porque les hicimos echar a uno de sus mejores jugadores el partido anterior," me acota Tuskoles Yagaras, rompiendo la cuarta pared.

Es cierto. No sé qué tiene que ver, dado que no se podían cruzar con Farfadillis de nuevo hasta la final, pero es cierto.

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 2:09 pm

ROUND OF 16 CUT-OFF
(NON-PARADYSTOPI HALF)

by **Eshialand** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 5:09 pm

Historymakers

Melissa Carey did not expect to be back here within a year of Kenny Morgan’s resignation. While she always knew the team had what it took to make it back into the knockouts, she figured there would be a rougher adjustment period to the team’s new management before the true push could begin. Instead, this adjustment period seemed to have been over before the qualifiers were, and the team was now having, by almost all accounts, the best World Cup cycle they ever had.

However, once the knockouts were on, none of what came before really mattered anymore. Every match was going to be someone’s last, and you had 90 to 120 minutes to prove why that someone shouldn’t be you. Ko-oren was going to be an uphill battle for the Owls but, at least to their manager, not an insurmountable one. “This team better than anyone, even themselves, gave them credit for.” she said. “We just haven’t had a chance to see their true potential… but now I think we’re seeing it. This is going to be more interesting than you think.”

While the Dragonflies were an unfamiliar opponent to this team — their only previous matchup coming on MD3 of World Cup 96, which the Owls lost by the most Ko-orenite score of all time — the game they played was decidedly not. Their particular brand of post-football was quite reminiscent of the Audioslavian squad the Eshians had played (and beaten) on MD1. At least in theory, the team knew they had what it took to beat it.

As the match kicked off in Zygnusgrad, the Owls didn’t feel quite ready. For this team, this was a chance to finally crack the top 16 for the first time, to move past their old curses and start Melissa Carey’s managerial tenure with a bang. While this was an exciting opportunity, it also meant a lot of nerves. Aomoca Aenenolin capitalized on this frazzled Eshian team by getting a goal within the 6th minute, and the Ko-orenite squad went full-on park the bus mode. Now that they had the lead, all they had to do was refuse to allow anything else past them.

This was far from the start that Carey had envisioned. She understood the nervousness this team was playing with, but now they were left playing from behind. It wasn’t an impossible task, but the Owls would absolutely need to get their heads back in the game. What they needed was a full mental reset. They needed to get back to the cautious yet exploitative gameplay that had earned them the win on MD1. That was how you defeated post-football.

The rest of the first half was a lot of waiting. Once the Eshians had managed to get back on their feet, their goals shifted to 1) not letting Ko-oren build enough momentum to get a second goal and 2) using the opportunities they had to figure out how they could get through the Dragonfly defense. No defensive system was perfect, and there must have been a way.

As the first half gave way to the second, the Eshian caution started to fade, even if just a little. They started having better ideas of how their players could press through the absolute brick wall that was before them, and by the 57th minute, genuine opportunities were beginning to show themselves, with Bradley Davis ripping a shot on target that was deflected out of play by Goswijn Naaldemaker. While this may not have been the tying shot, Keiar Forsen’s ensuing corner was headed by a well-placed Lily Cromlin, and that one was just too hot for Naaldemaker to handle. In the 58th minute, this match found itself tied again, and this time the Owls knew how to get past the seemingly unbeatable 5-4-1. Now, they just had to do it again.

The Dragonflies, rather than trying to open up the score themselves, hunkered down even harder. They knew they could win in penalty kicks if it came down to it, and it wasn’t worth opening themselves up more to a team that had already figured out how to get past them once. This left a difficult decision for Carey: should she call for full offense at the risk of a counter-attack burning them, as it had when Audioslavia scored their goal?

In the 79th minute, she decided to pull the trigger on one of the weirdest substitutions the Owls had ever performed: out were Kaiya Daniels and Suzanna Blair, in went Eddie Umbring and Zara Plarei. Eshialand were shifting to a 2-3-3-2 which focused every ounce of their being on squeezing out another goal. The Owls’ chosen keeper for this match, Harry Bruske, was extremely worried about his defensive line fading away like this, but he reassured himself that Carey knew exactly what she was doing here. Gone were the attempts to break into the Dragonflies’ defensive holes slowly and methodically, it was time to pressure them until new cracks started to form.

In the 85th minute, it actually seemed like things were paying off. Keiar Forsen, now shifted to more of an AM position with Zara on his right, took a free kick which got entangled in a mess of players. Bodim Sauzharegaunden nearly got out with the ball, which could’ve posed a major threat for an Eshian team with an absolutely gutted defense, but Lucas Meilling was right on him and rushed up the hole that Sauzharegaunden left behind. He passed it up to Davis, then to Umbring…

…and he ripped it past Naaldemaker. Eshialand now had a lead in this match, and it held for the final minutes. For the first time ever, the Eshian squad had made it through to the final sixteen.

For Mel Carey, breaking past this massive wall that had always stood in front of the Owls had always been a goal, but more of a long-term one. It would be nice to get there one day, she had always thought. Getting there in her first cycle as this team’s full-time manager, however, was beyond her wildest expectations.

“I’ve always known that this team had what it took, but there was just so much mental game standing in our way. Kenny was a great manager, but he fell into the same trap that the players did where he just looked at past results and thought they determined the future. Letting past results and supposed ‘curses’ get in the way of genuine improvement… it’s far too easy to let that happen. I know that as a player, I felt a lot of that myself too.

“This entire cycle since I took over as manager, I’ve wanted to keep my message loud and clear: yes we can. No matter what the past looked like, no matter what our critics told us, keeping a good eye on how far we’ve come is important to anchor us to reality and remind us that all of these ‘curses’ are just superstitions used to frame some unlucky results and justify our own mental blocks.

“Honestly, yeah, I did think it’d take longer to move past that mindset and start truly believing in ourselves again. It wasn’t until MD1 against Audioslavia that I realized, ‘oh shit, it might actually be happening. We might be onto something here…’ and I went all in on pushing for what we’ve always dreamed of, and here we are. Is our next match going to be difficult? Of course it is, but now we know we can do it. Bring it on.”

Eshialand’s opponents in the Round of 16 would be 2nd-ranked Saint Eleanor. On paper, this was going to be a nigh-on-impossible task, but with #1 Flavovespia having been bounced by #40 Kwrpania in last year’s Round of 16, nothing was impossible. The head-to-head record between these teams was 1-1-3 to the White Stars, with the only one decided by more than one goal being a completely meaningless 0-3 away loss in WC98 Qualifying. Despite the rank imbalance, these were evenly-matched teams when it came down to it, and a win was more than doable. They would just have to be more ready than ever before.

“GET IN THE CAR WILL!!”

Jacob Bronwyn and King William were in trouble. The crazy plot to break into EIS headquarters, unsurprisingly, didn’t go to plan, and now the two of them had to disappear as quickly as possible before they ended up either arrested or dead. The only silver lining was that Bronwyn did, in fact, have the evidence USB, with all of the damning information needed to incriminate Director Mark Monley… but Monley was after them now, and there was no time to waste.

“Where the heck are we gonna go?? We’re gonna have every cop in Eshialand City after us!!” the king asked Jacob.
“I… didn’t really think that far ahead? We could always head to the Executive Building, since they can’t really keep follow us into there…”
“Oh yeah, that’s a great idea, then they’ll know you roped me into this shit.”
“It’s not like they’re not gonna figure it out anyway! Plus, you can just pardon us when you fire Monley and get us out of this whole mess!”
“I didn’t even ask to be here and you want me to pardon you?”
“You know you’d do it anyway.”
“True.”

Jacob swerved right at the next intersection, down a small side street that would get them closer to the executive building while avoiding most attention from the police. With how recklessly the detective was driving, it would only be a matter of time before they started tailing him for something completely unrelated though…

weeee-oooo, weeee-oooo

“And there they are…” the king said, “the jig is up, game over.”
“Pffft, pleasee,” Detective Bronwyn said, “that’s city police, just a traffic cop. They see a guy driving recklessly and just wanna book him for driving recklessly. Nothing to do with the EIS stuff.”
“You know I can’t pardon you for a city offense, right? You’re actually gonna have to pull over for this one.”
“Not if I say this…” he said before opening the window and yelling back at the cops. “LISTEN, I HAVE THE KING IN THIS CAR, AND HE’S RUNNING LATE FOR AN IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT! IT’S PARAMOUNT YOU DON’T PULL US OVER SO HE CAN NEGOTIATE THESE TRADE TALKS!”
“Jake, I really doubt that’s gonna—” Will said before he was cut off by a cop pulling up next to the getaway car.

“So, I heard the two of you needed a police escort?” the officer behind the wheel said once he realized the person in the mailman outfit in the passenger seat was actually the King of Eshialand.

Will was absolutely dumbfounded as Jake responded. “Thank you so much officer, we just need to get back to the Executive Building lickety-split. Please feel free to ignore any EIS agents that pull up behind us okay?”
“EIS agents?” the officer replied. “Is the king here against his will or something?”
“That’s debata—” Will started to say, before Jake pulled out his badge with his right hand and shushed him with it. Jake then reached over, his left hand still gripping the wheel, to present the badge to the city officer: “Detective Jacob Bronwyn, EIS. Don’t ask about the mailman outfit or the questionable getaway, we’re just dealing with some… internal affairs issues. We’ll sort them out later when we get to the Executive Building. The fewer questions the better, Officer… Randall, is it?”

“KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD JAKE!!” the king yelled out as the getaway car narrowly avoided hitting a minivan. The question was no longer whether they’d get to the Executive Building before the feds got to them, but rather whether they’d even make it there alive at all.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 5:13 pm

OOC barrel of notes:

What happened and when: Saint Eleanor declared independence during WCQ76 and was on two years per World Cup between 1976 (WC76) and 1990 (WC83). However, WC84 was in 1991, and there was one per year until WC89 in 1996. Between 1998 (WC90) and 2018 (WC100), we were back on 2/WC; however, due to the passage of time and the need to celebrate the special anniversary in a grand manner, we now have one year per World Cup. Read the below Oneshot accordingly.
The pundits: My thanks to Neph, Ko, ESF, HUE (all before publication), Drawk (shortly after publication), Ban and Chrom (on Tuesday) for agreeing to have their characters feature as part of the Eleanorian television punditry landscape for this cycle; I do not mention them otherwise. This was a trickier process than you might have imagined it to be, especially as the users behind many of the successful nations of recent-past cycles (whose players are, by definition, younger and thus more likely to be alive) are incommunicado, and there are a decent number of notable ex-pros who are still kicking about but working on other things! "Ask, don't assume" was very much my watchword throughout the process, so in that spirit, Luke Elliott and Julia Atherton were placeholder pundits for a while; they did come into the Channel 4 lineup on occasion, but were very much not regulars this cycle, in stark contrast to a decade or so ago.
All accolades listed below relate to WCC and regional competitions only, with apologies to all the CA Paulinthal fans in the chat. Lineups of pundits may change from time to time for a plethora of OOC or IC reasons, including reasons initiated by the owners of the characters - the BBC does not, for example, hold Olivier Giroud and Micah Richards at knifepoint every other May and tell them to cover Big Football Tournament or else - so the below lineups should be treated as "the common wisdom" as of WC101 rather than an absolute statement of enduring, inerrable fact.
Kickoff times: I am assuming that future World Cups roughly follow the scheduling outlined in the WC100 host info, except with one of the 1330 games on Day 4 moved to 1830. There are various IC theories as to what happened, but the one most widely believed in Saint Eleanor is that the match was moved to avoid local thunderstorms (I brought this up with Tikariot and he forwarded me a statement to that effect from KytPen, albeit it is likely to be the OOC result of human error). Local times given in host schedules, for various reasons, will generally line up with Eleanorian time.
TV reception: I'm assuming that Anaian co-ordinates roughly approximate Earth's, even though we frequently assume that travel between two sporting regions neither of which is called Sonnel does not require spacecraft. ICly, you should assume that anything written below about where you can get ETV via Freedomsat 51A is an estimation by Ellie Tellie engineers which may not reflect conditions on the ground in non-Saint Eleanor countries.

Group of Six meeting (CXXIX) --- SAINT ELEANOR 1-0 The Golden Harp
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Kichirō Matsuda [VC], Edward Ruthan [ballot]
Location: One pretty fancy "generic fast food place" (cheers Ed); Troglograd, PDT

This was a SOLID VICTORY against an EVEN MORE SOLID TEAM!!! (OOC: Not done with these notes yet; I'll hash them up after cutoff. Isabella Bright with the only goal early in the second half. Saint Eleanor fielded the usual 4-2-3-1, albeit with a bit more of a defensive tilt than usual - only a bit, however. This is the last incomplete section of the roleplay, and Margaret willing I will fill in this space over the weekend.)

Oneshot: Football on Eleanorian television

A not-so-short introduction

Up until World Cup 82 in Valanora and Apox, SESB broadcast all of the World Cup, albeit without Saint Eleanor's athletic involvement. To this day, it continues to broadcast the Baptism of Fire and Cup of Harmony in full, these being less lucrative (or indeed structurally predictable) tournaments but still no less prestigious for Eleanorians, as well as all of Saint Eleanor's qualifiers and (at least in theory) all regional tournaments.

However, rights payments rather than carrying capacity has been the main issue for SESB as of late - it already has the rights to broadcast all of that as well as the Saint Eleanor League, and will try and broadcast as much IFCF as possible, too. With it being politically unpalatable to hand over the rights to Matong, and the trades unions' Channel 5 too busy showing the Summer and Winter Olympics, it is left to Channel 4 - the established, impartial-ish private broadcaster who long ago acquired the rights to the World Bowl playoffs and all international hockey (they handed the World Baseball Classic, and the World Bowl group games, over to Matong when it launched) - to carry the rest of the load.

All television in Saint Eleanor is broadcast on ETV (Eleanorian Telecommunications Vision). ETV, in turn, piggybacks off Freedomsat 51A. Most people in Anaia can (in theory; it arguably depends on what type of satellite you have) therefore probably access free-to-air Eleanorian TV, and with it our WCC tournament coverage - although likely not if you're living in Cyprus (part of Vdara) to the east; United Hawkland, the Kharakias, and Pyazhnaya to the north; nor anywhere west of Koroa City. Football coverage on Radio 3 is simulcast on SESB Worldwide, which broadcasts from 621 kHz on mediumwave from the super-powerful transmitter in Eastern Fell district and a variety of other mediumwave and shortwave frequencies across the multiverse and thus has a broader reach; Sunshine Radio is not, but updates on their games will normally be provided if anything important happens.

Other than financial and human resources, as will be discussed below, SESB and Channel 4 tend to take different approaches (on television; radio coverage tends to be more matter-of-fact). SESB's WCC introductions tend to put more of an emphasis on the legends of the game, with a lot of cheeky hints towards the host nations; Channel 4's introductions tend to put a greater emphasis on the culture and geography of the hosts. SESB will tend to present in a studio, albeit in the host countries, with a relevant backdrop; Channel 4 will tend to present "on location," normally somewhere much more dramatic than SESB. In general, Channel 4 has better production values: they have graphics comparable to most international television coverage, while SESB still broadcasts names and scorelines directly onto the screen with no backdrop (much as would have been the case decades ago). Both channels use stock intros and their Eleanorian studios for club football, although they might flock to where the Champions' League and Challengers' Cup finals are.

The World Cup and suchlike

SESB, being more thinly-spread than Channel 4 and with less money to throw around, has historically had a more domestically-minded and less recognisable roundtable of pundits than Channel 4. For WC101, the lineups are by convention, although by no means always:

SESB's coverage for high-profile and primetime games is led by Melcheta Pazorzal (● CoH84; striker), along with David Newcastle (● CoH84; left midfielder), Felixe Vetiver (no accolades; striker), and Emi van Kalvenhaar (● WC89, ● CAFA3, CAFA4, CAFA8, ● CAFA7; leftback).
SESB's coverage for games with less notability or expected viewership (and anything on TV2) is led by Alan Eldridge (● CoH84; leftback), along with Alice Christopher (no accolades; central midfielder) and Eustacio Corral Magana (● CoH87; striker).
Channel 4's coverage for high-profile and primetime games is led by Candy Hewitt (no accolades; lifelong journalist), along with Esther Launceston (● CoH84; centreback), Linnea Karjalainen (no accolades; attacking midfielder), and Praxis Collingwood (● CoH89, CoH90, IAC22, IAC24, ● IAC25; striker).
Channel 4's coverage for games with less notability or expected viewership is led by Angelica Northend (no accolades; right midfielder), along with Enyinnaya Jideofor (● WC86, ● WC85, AOCAF62; attacking midfielder), and Cristiano Aveiro Junior (● IAC16; striker)

The corollary of this is that, while SESB normally locks down its contracts weeks if not months in advance, Channel 4 tends to be a bit more experimental/chaotic (depending on how much of an SESB fanperson you are). Collingwood is still technically with the Pittsennat Reds of The Outbox League! Karjalainen, who actually did play at the World Cup, only joined the panel in earnest after Chromatika's last-32 defeat against Indusse and was more unavailable than not before then; normally, the gap was plugged by Jideofor or

Julia Atherton (● CoH73; goalkeeper).

In the commentary box, it is normally James Morgan (play-by-play) and Nalepatera meTeralena (analysis), or Jennifer Howard (P) and Cameron Barry (A), for SESB TV; Jamie Miller (play-by-play) and Hugh Roanoke (analysis) for SESB Radio 3; Lucy Henderson (play-by-play) and Xôrgé Jûsûy (analysis) for SESB c/o Sunshine Radio; Pavelarena weTelaxenara aka "Pavvy Wet" (play-by-play) and Adam Denby (analysis) for Channel 4. Kevin Shea and Sarah Camberwell, long-time SESB TV staples, retired after World Cup 98.

Contrary to popular belief,

Louise Whitbread (● CoH73; central midfielder) is not involved with SESB's team of pundits as such - but she does host Football Now on TV1, alongside a cast of pundits that rotates so much that it would be useless to post a lineup here. Football Now plays out after the evening news on days with football - which can be almost midnight, or past it if there's a penalty shootout, although it is normally around 10pm when club football is in question - where highlights are broadcast, tactics analysed, and controversies debated; for various reasons, none of them particularly ironic, the running time is invariably around 90 minutes. (Football Now Extra is a two-hour-long radio phone-in programme that airs after Radio 3's Around The Grounds - more on that below - is done for the day; it shares a name and a common theme, but precious little else.)

Even contrarier to popular belief, punditry tends to be of a slightly higher standard than "say what you see" (it is more comparable to "here's what I think and why"). Perhaps this is in line with The Eleanorian Way being pragmatic and common-sensical, normally something between "counter-attack for your lives" and "let's see what sticks, this is going to be a pretty tough opponent next up!": it does not matter how much your pass was weighted or how beautiful your passage of play was, so long as it all came off or at least damn well near it. To be sure, "I literally lost braincells listening to that" is not an unknown complaint, but it is arguably a less common one than it is elsewhere.

In general, TV1's news bulletins are at 12 noon daily (45m), 4pm on weekdays (30m) / 6pm on weekends (15m), and 9pm daily (45m); Channel 4's news bulletins are at 1pm (1h) and 8pm (1h). At World Cups, where games generally kick off at 1:30pm, 4pm, 6:30pm and 9pm (first two group games) or else 2pm, 5pm and 8pm (all other games), the situation is more complicated. SESB will generally cancel the 4pm/6pm bulletin if the football requires it, and play out the evening news around 15-30 minutes after the final whistle. Channel 4 will typically play out the afternoon news bulletin to 12 noon, and will try and squeeze in a shorter bulletin about an hour before the final kickoff (if they aren't broadcasting the penultimate kickoff), followed by an evening news bulletin competing with TV1 (or after the penultimate kickoff, if they aren't broadcasting the final game of the day). There is no news on TV2 and therefore no concern on that front for the second round of group games.

Club football, and television picks more generally

The Saint Eleanor League (and Showcase) kicks off at 3pm on Sunday, although second-division games now start at 3pm on Saturday. On television, SESB will broadcast as much action as possible: Channel 4 has the second pick, Channel 5 has the fourth pick, SESB will broadcast the rest on TV2, TV3 and TV6, and give up TV1 for World Football Survey, a programme which provides regular updates and what is happening in other IFCF-eligible leagues around the world and will often run all afternoon due to the sheer volume of things being discussed. Instead of broadcasting any one game - unless something of remarkable importance is on the line - Around The Grounds, which has much the same purpose as WFS but focuses purely on domestic action, is broadcast on Radios 1 and 3.

In IFCF terms, most matches before the quarterfinals (from which there's enough space on free-to-air television to put everything there) are on Matong, having once obviously not been broadcasted at all. While rights are pooled between Matong, SESB, Channel 4 and Channel 5 and there is a legal requirement for all games involving Eleanorian teams to be free-to-air, on top of a similar convention involving defending tournament champions, picks are agreed on a round-by-round basis and the free broadcasters have first picks; World Football Survey doesn't run on IFCF days, but you do hear about the most important goals and there are half-time and full-time updates all told. In an inversion of the World Cup consensus, SESB will tend to acquire rights to the higher-profile games, play out the biggest game of them all on Radio 1 and run an international-flavoured Around The Grounds on Radio 3 instead of doing the simulcast.
Games in the IFCF are 1pm in the Rising Stars Cup; 4pm for the RSC final and some IFCF games; and 7pm for the bulk of the games. In practice, the evening news directly follows the 7pm game if they would otherwise collide; the 4pm news bulletin on SESB will be moved back if there's a 4pm game, or else condensed to fifteen minutes and play out between the two earlier kickoffs (similarly for the 6pm bulletin, including between later kickoffs); Channel 4's afternoon news will be moved to compete with SESB if they have RSC action at 1pm. Channel 5's news bulletins have always been held at the same time as SESB, even following the same postponement protocols - so noon, 4pm and 9pm with variations as necessary.

Given that this is the World Cup, a final word must be said about how the picks system operates for it, and how it works in practice. At the World Cup, by convention, SESB always broadcasts Saint Eleanor's first and third group game, round of thirty-two game, and quarterfinal (as well as the semifinal we did not make), although it would have broadcast all of them at WC91; Channel 4 always broadcasts Saint Eleanor's second group game, last sixteen game, and semifinal. SESB broadcasts the opening ceremony, the first two games of the World Cup, the first game of each host and the reigning champions, and - for convenience's sake - all of the final round of group games, while Channel 4 broadcasts Valanora's first two group games, the last two games before the final round of group games, the round of thirty-two games involving all of the previous cycle's semifinalists, the round of sixteen games involving each host (or the team that knocked them out in the Ro32), and quarterfinals involving either of the previous cycle's finalists. Both channels broadcast the third-place playoff and final.
Much more haggling is inherent when the White Stars do not make it, but the split is normally close to what it would have been otherwise. If any informal arrangements are superseded by Saint Eleanor's participation in them, then the agreement about Saint Eleanor's game shall bind: SESB broadcast Saint Eleanor's game against The Golden Harp, notwithstanding that they made last year's semifinal. The system used for "picks" is more arcane than you'd expect an Eleanorian process to be and tends to be more advantageous for Channel 4 to get around the third-group-game problem, but in general, Channel 4 will tend to broadcast the bigger games while SESB will tend to broadcast the more under-the-radar games.

WC100: Who broadcast what? 60(+2) games on SESB, 42(+2) games on Channel 4:

Group stage (first round of games)

SESB exclusives [12x]: The Kytler Peninsulae vs Vdara (A), United States of Nova Calania vs The Holy Empire (A), Tikariot vs Stewartika (B), Kwrpania vs Indusse (C), Qusmo vs Crpostran (D), Mertagne vs Saint Eleanor (E), Farfadillis vs Audioslavia (G; TV1), Cobrio vs Juvencus (G; TV2), HUElavia vs Auprussia (H), Paradystopia vs Zwangzug (I), The Ko-orenite Constellation vs Aleirave (J), Valentine Z vs Darmen (K)
Ch4 exclusives [12x]: Reçueçn vs Banija (B), Pasarga vs Busoga Islands (C), Chromatika vs Tanirinthia (D), Eshialand vs Kelssek (E), Kamijiro vs Zenic (F), Pyazhnaya vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (F), Kanzlia vs Valanora (H), Squornshelan Remnant States vs Siovanija and Teusland (I), Flavovespia vs Oberour Ar Moro (J), StrayaRoos vs Edsmontik (K), HOT-DAMN vs Ko-oren (L), Kimi-Suomi vs Aphrilia (L)

Group stage (second round of games)

SESB exclusives [10x]: The Kytler Peninsulae vs The Holy Empire (A), Indusse vs Pasarga (C), Qusmo vs Tanirinthia (D), Kamijiro vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (F), Cobrio vs Audioslavia (G), Kanzlia vs Auprussia (H), Zwangzug vs Squornshelan Remnant States (I), Oberour Ar Moro vs The Ko-orenite Constellation (J), Darmen vs StrayaRoos (K), HOT-DAMN vs Aphrilia (L)
Ch4 exclusives [14x]: Vdara vs United States of Nova Calania (A), Stewartika v Reçueçn (B), Tikariot vs Banija (B), Kwrpania vs Busoga Islands (C), Crpostran vs Chromatika (D), Kelssek vs Mertagne (E), Saint Eleanor vs Eshialand (E), Zenic vs Pyazhnaya (F), Juvencus vs Farfadillis (G), Valanora vs HUElavia (H), Paradystopia vs Siovanija and Teusland (I), Flavovespia vs Aleirave (J), Valentine Z vs Edsmontik (K), Ko-oren vs Kimi-Suomi (L)

Group stage (third round of games)

SESB exclusives [24x]: The Holy Empire vs Vdara (A; TV2), United States of Nova Calania vs The Kytler Peninsulae (A; TV1), Banija vs Stewartika (B; TV2), Reçueçn vs Tikariot (B; TV1), Busoga Islands vs Indusse (C; TV2), Pasarga vs Kwrpania (C; TV1), Tanirinthia vs Crpostran (D; TV1), Chromatika vs Qusmo (D; TV2), Saint Eleanor vs Kelssek (E; TV1), Mertagne vs Eshialand (E; TV2), Commonwealth of Baker Park vs Zenic (F; TV1), Pyazhnaya vs Kamijiro (F; TV2), Audioslavia vs Juvencus (G; TV1), Farfadillis vs Cobrio (G; TV2), Auprussia vs Valanora (H; TV1), HUElavia vs Kanzlia (H; TV2), Siovanija and Teusland vs Zwangzug (I; TV2), Squornshelan Remnant States vs Paradystopia (I; TV1), Aleirave vs Oberour Ar Moro (J; TV2), The Ko-orenite Constellation vs Flavovespia (J; TV1), Edsmontik vs Darmen (K; TV2), StrayaRoos vs Valentine Z (K; TV1), Aphrilia vs Ko-oren (L; TV1), Kimi-Suomi vs HOT-DAMN (L; TV2)

Round of thirty-two

SESB exclusives [7x]: The Kytler Peninsulae vs Qusmo (HF1), Commonwealth of Baker Park vs Kanzlia (HF2), Busoga Islands vs Auprussia (HF7), Kwrpania vs Chromatika (HF9), Flavovespia vs Edsmontik (HF10), Saint Eleanor vs Indusse (HF13), StrayaRoos vs Zenic (HF14)
Ch4 exclusives [9x]: Tikariot vs Vdara (HF3), Audioslavia vs Pyazhnaya (HF4), Valentine Z vs Ko-oren (HF5), Squornshelan Remnant States vs Juvencus (HF6), Tanirinthia vs Kimi-Suomi (HF8), Banija vs Kelssek (HF11), Aphrilia vs Paradystopia (HF12), Siovania and Teusland vs Reçueçn (HF15), Valanora vs The Ko-orenite Constellation (HF16)

Round of sixteen

SESB exclusives [4x]: Valentine Z vs Squornshelan Remnant States (OF3), Busoga Islands vs Tanirinthia (OF4), Banija vs Aphrilia (OF6), Valanora vs Siovanija and Teusland (OF8)
Ch4 exclusives [4x]: The Kytler Peninsulae vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (OF1), Tikariot vs Pyazhnaya (OF2), Kwrpania vs Flavovespia (OF5), Saint Eleanor vs StrayaRoos (OF7)

Quarterfinals

SESB exclusives [2x]: Kwrpania vs Aphrilia (QF2), Saint Eleanor vs Valanora (QF4)
Ch4 exclusives [2x]: The Kytler Peninsulae vs Squornshelan Remnant States (QF1), Tikariot vs Tanirinthia (QF3)

Semifinals and beyond

SESB exclusive [1x]: Squornshelan Remnant States vs Kwrpania (SF1)
Ch4 exclusive [1x]: Tanirinthia vs Saint Eleanor (SF2)
Both channels [2x]: Kwrpania vs Saint Eleanor (3PPO), Squornshelan Remnant States vs Tanirinthia (Final)

91 of the 104 World Cup games were broadcast live on SESB Radio 3, and simulcast on Radio 1. Due to a scheduling conflict which emerged at shorter notice than usual and did not repeat itself other than the final round of group games, Farfadillis vs Audioslavia was broadcast on Radio 1 in its own right, rather than simulcasting Cobrio vs Juvencus on Radio 3. All TV2 games in the final round of group games, as indicated above, were broadcast on Sunshine Radio - a privately-owned pop music station which routinely gives up its time to international football for these purposes - using SESB commentators.
Starting from World Cup 103 and in light of discussions with Sunshine Radio, who are increasingly dissatisfied with having to give up a week's worth of ad revenue to carry live sports commentary, it is foreseen that the final round of group games in all competitions will be broadcast in parallel on SESB, with one match on Radio 1 and the other on Radio 3. There are no plans to discontinue live football simulcasts on Radio 1.

by **Farfadillis** » Sun Jun 14, 2026 5:35 pm

Cut-off.

by **Paradystopia** » Mon Jun 15, 2026 9:22 am

NB

All the following text translated from Penguin
The included poem may, or may not be referring to this poem

On a Northern Paradystopi beach, at some point before the first Round of 32 matches

"Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mum! Mmuuuummmm! ..."

" ... Oh, for herring's sake ... What?! ..."

"Mum, when I grow up, can I be a ninja? Like a super-cool ninja who fights orca, and shoggoths, and skuas, and climate change, the bad kind, oh, and fight other bad guys with like loads of super-awesome ninja moves, and martial arts techniques, and super-cool costume, and ..."

"I don't know, dear. Why don't you ask your father ..."

"But Mummy, daddy's out at sea fishing for the next two months, and that's aaaaaages! Like five years ages!"

"... don't I bloody know it ... Why is it you want to be a ninja anyway, darling?"

"Well, because Janey says her dad is a ninja, and he works a top super secret job defending the rights of penguins across the multiverse, and when I grow up I want to protect penguin rights too."

"Janey's dad does data entry at the fish factory ..."

"Nuh-uh! He's a top secret ninja with the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front and he travels the multiverse making kick-ass..."

"Language!"

"...sorry mum. Making awesome kung-fu movies with his crack squad of like-minded, wise-cracking rebels, and bringing the beat-down on the forces of evil or those who drive penguins to live too close to the equator."

"Sweetie, if I'm to believe what Janey's mum has told me, Janey's lucky her dad doesn't get lost walking to and from the sea."

"Don't be silly, mummy. I can see the sea from here, no-one could get lost walking to the sea."

"That was my point, dear ... Anyway, I'm sorry to break it to you, but the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front aren't real. It's just a story, chick."

"Awwww ... but who will defend the rights of penguins, and suppress the wearing of tuxedos, and pass on the mystical secrets of kung-fu if the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front aren't real?"

"There there, darling. I suppose that if you really want to be a bastion of penguin freedoms complete with sick martial art skills on the side, who am I to stop you?"

"Yey! Thanks mum. I'm gonna go practice my moves with Janey. Spinning flipper back-kick! Hi-ya! Assassin's peck! Hi-ya! Woo hoo. Love you mum, bye mum. Hi-ya!"

"Have fun, chick. And you be careful with those moves! ... Right, where was I? ..."

*Bi-di-bi-beep* *Bi-di-bi-beep*

"Broadcasting on all frequencies, is anyone reading me? This is NPLF Operative codename 'Kwackie Chan' undercover in Paradystopia. Anyone, do you copy? The greaseballs have flown the nest. Repeat, the greaseballs have flown the nest. Anybody, do you read? ... How can a country host the damn World Cup with this bad of an internet connection? ... HQ, anyone, somebody, do you copy?! Back-up no longer required in Paradystopia, greaseballs migrated to Farfadillis ..."

At the Penguin Poetry Meet-up, in Random

The Shaggoth

By William Bwwaarrkk

Shaggoth Shaggoth, bubbling vile,
Of cursed lands thus you defile;
What imbecilic hand or eye,
Could frame thy non-Euclidean geometry?

In what putrid pits or holes.
Oozed the mucus of thine souls?
On what wings dared this begot?
What the hand, dared grasp this grot?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could grind the gristle of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to thrum.
What pseudopod? & what foul scum?

What the plughole? what the drain,
In what dank crevice was thy brain?
What the putty? what slimy romp.
Dare its deadly terrors swamp?

When the stars threw down their comet
And coat'd heaven with their vomit:
Did He smile his work to see?
Did He who made penguins make thee?

Shaggoth Shaggoth, bubbling vile,
Of cursed lands you thus defile;
What imbecilic hand or eye,
Dare frame thy non-Euclidean geometry?

"Thank you Will. Visceral, punchy, very enjoyable."

"I hate them Shoggoths. Just had to put it in words, you know? Good for the soul and all that. What they did to Kevin's lad, despicable! Lovely sweet fledgling he was, got flown out to Farfadillis to be a mascot but no-one told him it would be for the Vdara match, did they? Vdara versus them horrible bloodthirsty lumps of goop. Killed him in the tunnel, they did. Squirmed around his throat, him and all the others, strangulated the lot of them. You know what they did next? Only went and dragged their poor little lifeles bodies out on to the pitch with them, they did. You've got that Vdaran lot trying to sing their anthem whilst them awful pools of sentient snot are feasting upon them unfortunate sods. You gotta feel for them, you do."

"I understand, Will. It is truly a tragedy."

"Someone needs to do something, they do. These Paradystopi officials are more bothered with jumping through needless bureaucratic hoops than taking any actual action, and the Farfs couldn't organise a fishing trip at a salmon farm. What we need is the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front!"

"Will, there is no Ninja Penguin Liberation Front: It's a myth."

"Bah! That's what they want you to believe! They work in the shadows, don't they? I've seen 'The ninja penguin attacks and defeats a pathetic, evil enemy who harbored nothing but malice towards him', not my favourite, though I've never been great with subtitles, anyway, I'll tell you now, the NPLF are coming, and it ain't gonna be pretty for them Shoggoths!"

"Ok Will, well, I shall agree to disagree. Anyway, thank you everyone for coming, and I'll see you all next time. I just need to do something quickly ..."

*Bi-di-bi-beep* *Bi-di-bi-beep*

"Does anyone copy? This is NPLF Operative codename 'Wet Li' undercover in Paradystopia. We need to rendevouz in Farfadillis, I think it's go-time ..."

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 3:17 am

It had taken a superhuman effort just to get to half-time goal-less against the Squornshelan Remnant States, The Black and Reds had laid seige to the Audioslavian goal over the course of the first half, hitting the top of the bar twice and the underside of it once. That latter shot had bounced at the point of the line where it was impossible to tell whether it crossed the plane of the goal or not. Cue huge protests from the Confederates when the referee shrugged a ‘play-on’. Television replay angles disagreed with one another, some showing the whole of the ball ‘clearly’ over the line, others less conclusive. The chip in the ball was silent, and as such the referee’s watch didn’t buzz. Tarbi Ksudach with his hands in the air in exasperation as the referee refused to even look at the ‘goal’ on the monitor.

And then the Bulls scored from nowhere. A nothing ball forward - a clearance really - miscontrolled by Tutku, ten yards from the edge of their own penalty area. Lúnquerque to the loose ball first, closed down by Tutku and Tirel. Nobody else near him. A single touch to get it out of his feet and then a driven shot. A speculative shot at a saveable height, but it’s a knuckle-ball that somehow dips sharply a fraction before it should, by rights, be nestling into the outstretched hands of a diving Ronan Pharlain. It squeezes through the gap between the keeper’s wrist and the turf, skittering into the corner of the net.

The Black and Reds are shocked. They keep possession from kick-off and try to build towards goal again, but their play is stilted. The Bulls press, and there’s a turnover on the left wing. Bastarretxea bursting forward. Gould on the overlap. Lúnquerque arrives as the only striker in the box. He races towards the front post, necessitating a defender to come with him and duly opening a gap behind into which Cam Hooper bounds. He meets the cut-back with a first-time shot and buries it, smashing a finish through the awkward gap between the keeper’s elbow and knee.

In the space of three minutes, early in the second half, the Bulls have gone from a team treading water, out of form, overmatched against a superior opponent, to suddenly looking like world beaters themselves. The scoreboard supposedly never lies, but read that sentence above and contrast it with what you’ve seen with your own eyes this very tournament. Beaten handily twice, first Eshialand, then Pasarga. Scraping past a Masraya team over a hundred places south of them in the rankings.

Nevertheless, momentum has now completely turned on its head. Audioslavia begin to fill with confidence, and it’s the world champions who start to look lost. They manage just two more shots on goal, both from well outside the area, both bouncing well wide. The Bulls add a third with fifteen minutes to go - Malcom down the flank on the counter, overlapping, receiving, sending the ball into that delicious gap between the keeper and defenders, watching Lúnquerque dive forward and head the ball (face the ball, if we’re being honest) into the net.

The full time whistle seemed to herald an entirely new time period. The Bad Old Years (June 6th 22XX to June 25th 22XX) were over. It was apparently time for foreign media stations to talk of Audioslavian footballers in deferential tones once more. Huge scalp. Back on form. Back on top? Outside bet for the championship?

And then Kanzlia.

There were sore memories of Kanzlia. A Cup of Harmony in Banija, back when both teams played in such a tournament. Uriah Malcom sent off, Manechis ter'Maarden with the penalty. 94th minute. No time to respond. One-nil Kanzlia. A measure of revenge in Cathair in qualifying for World Cup 99, but turned over in Szbedansk to the same 1-0 scoreline, the same late goal.

Audioslavia prides itself as a team who fights as hard in the 91st minute as in the first, but Kanzlia themselves never give up. They’ve scored late in each of the three previous meetings between the Prowlers and the Bulls, winning twice. They would strike late here, too.
 A week of the international media blowing smoke up the Audioslavians’ arses had helped the side’s confidence. The Bull tore out of the gate, Denzel Keegan side-footing a gorgeous finish into the near corner from the rim of the penalty box, Lúnquerque there again, rising first and highest to a looping cross and sending the ball ballooning back across goal, dipping under the crossbar in the opposite corner with the goalkeeper rooted to his spot. Ten minutes gone. Two nothing. Some Kanzlia players with their hands on their hips, some remonstrating with each other. Captain Ardentius van Coevorden clapping his hands hard, barking instructions. Mental ones, not physical ones. The Prowlers rallied. Marvin Rousseaux pulled a save from Palma that he didn’t even know he’d made. A deft, lobbed through pass from Lara Wevrin catching the defence on the turn. Racing into position, eyes fixed on the ball as it dropped, a strong right leg. An absolute belter of a shot, the thud of leather on leather reverberating through the next split second. The ball flashing past Palma, arms flailing. The ball deflecting just slightly off the outside of the keeper’s left shoulder. Just enough to force the ball onto the inside of the far post. The goalposts rattle. The ball skitters quickly away for a throw in right next to the corner flag.

Within thirty seconds it’s 3-0 to the Bulls. A long throw cleared. Rayo Forster on the turn, tapping the ball past the onrushing Kartioch, collecting it the other side of him and drilling a low pass directly forward. It finds a channel between Blackwood and te'Vries and neither can catch Lúnquerque, already at a canter, who overtakes the turning defenders and latches onto the ball first. One big, heavy touch sends the ball forward into the space between him and the goalkeeper, who hesitates for just a second before coming out to narrow the angle. Lúnquerque, flanked by the two back-tracking defenders, curls the ball past the keeper for 3-0.

Kanzlia are the better side in the second half. It stands to reason. There’s not much between the two teams in terms of talent, and while the Bulls are looking to conserve energy and consolidate the lead, the Prowlers have a simple path forward: It’s a hopeless cause to fight for. If you fight and lose, you get a two week holiday. If you fight and win, you become immortal. The only negative outcomes come from not fighting. So that’s how it goes.

The team deserves more than it gets. Anee Artaghzena in particular causes the 5-man Bulls defence all sorts of problems, at one point sitting experienced full-back Uriah Malcom all the way down onto his arse with just a drop of the shoulder. She provides two crosses that should have been converted to goals. For the first, Rousseaux mis-times a six-yard header so badly as to miss the ball entirely. For the second, Sylverio van Coevorden takes a whipped cross onto his chest instead of just heading it goalwards, with Palma off-balance. He can’t get the shot off with the ball refusing to behave, and is crowded out by the recovering defenders.

Artaghzena drifts to the centre as the full-back marauds further forward, and sees a golden opportunity rattle the near post with Palma completely wrong-footed.

Audioslavia’s fourth is undeserved. A rare foray forward. A speculative shot from distance blocked, the ball richocheting towards Christian Bagheria, whose control is heavy. He goes to clear the ball from the danger area, but Bulls’s substitute Jan Poulsson is racing in and gets a toe to the ball first. Bagheria’s follow-through grazes the striker’s heel. Poulsson does what an Audioslavian striker should do in that situation, which is to dive to the ground in mock agony. It’s nothing, but the slow motion replay makes it look like an assault, and the referee awards the penalty.

Mulders gets two hands to Poulsson’s penalty, but the striker digs the ball in at the second attempt for 4-0.

Anee Artaghzena finally gets her goal in injury time, side-footing a beautifully weighted pass from Reiner van Coevorden beyond the keeper. She picks the ball from the net and jogs to the centre circle. There will be no comebacks tonight, but let nobody say the Prowlers ever gave up.

It’s a brutal matchday for big teams. Squornshelous, current number one team in the world, are already out. Saint Eleanor will likely end the cycle in that #1 position, but they’re turned over 5-4 by Esportivans Eshialand. Aphrilia and Valanora will both end the cycle in the top five or so, but each are beaten. The latter by the hosts, the former by debutants Snestar. The apparently unbeatable Qusmo are finally stopped - it takes a five-time World Champion and a penalty shoot-out to do it - while the Farves and Pasargans are both put to the sword. When the dust settles, the highest ranked team left in the competition is… Audioslavia.

Now the pressure’s on.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 7:17 am

OOC: Few quick points here. 1) Yes, I'd somehow missed that the Holy Empire had moved over to the Non-Paradystopi half of the draw; embarrassing. I'll cover why I still have penguin mascots below. 2) For those of you too young to catch the song reference... Here's a link to the original. And yes, those are deliberately erratic back-translations of the Ninja Penguin film titles from my last RP.

The following is an excerpt from the official World Cup 101 video, released approximately six subjective months after the conclusion of the tournament

It consists of commentary taken from several different mundy sources from across the multiverse - interpolated with the official Ninja Penguin Liberation Front song

Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho

Everybody was penguin fighting
Those birds were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

... we wait for the teams to take the field for the national anthems, it looks like the Farfadillis authorities have learned from the unfortunate incident over the mascots in the Vdara - Holy Empire match. You may remember that both teams were due to take to the field with Paradystopi penguin mascots as a symbol of knock-out stage unity between the two host nations, and because of an obscure subclause in the hosting contract, only for the Holy Empire's shoggoths to kill their mascots in the tunnel, drag their poor little penguin corpses onto the field, and then consume them in full view of the public before the national anthems played, and then arrange their bones in strange and arcane non-Euclidean piles on the sidelines - an unfortunate incident that led to approximately 2% of the crowd being driven insane by the horror, and another 3% asking if they could download the video on any local streaming service.

But this time, while apparently still contractually obligated to use penguin mascots for at least some of the knock-out stage matches, the co-hosts have cleverly arranged for the mascots to be suspended from an impenetrable glass cage - with a separate steel oxygen tube supplying air - about 20 metres above the pitch for the duration of the pre-match formalities. Surely this time the penguins are safe and secure from any more shoggoth mischief.

There were ninja penguin birds from ninja penguin town
They were chopping them up, they were chopping them down
It's an ancient penguin art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip and a kicking from the hip

...remarkable scenes here as the shoggoths form a strange protoplasmic pyramid, or perhaps a column, oozing upwards towards the supposedly impenetrable glass penguin cage, crying out their unholy chant of 'tekeli-li, tekeli-li', as the poor little penguins run about in the confined space in panic, desperate to avoid the horror below, but unable to escape; it's just as impenetrable from the inside as from the outside, it seems. Oh God.... the top-most shoggoth has made it to the side of the cage.... it's extending pseudopods around the edges of the glass... it's squeezing the glass... such tremendous pressure... The penguins are now running into each other and sometimes knocking each other out... The glass begins to crack... Why don't Tzimisces and Di Bradini do something? This is horrible, so horrible... but another penguin massacre seems inevitable. Is there nothing that can be done to save these poor flightless innocents? They think it's all over...

It isn't now!

What's that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's both! It's the Ninja Penguin Liberation Front flying into the stadium on penguin jetpacks! Just in the nick of time! The shoggoth pyramid-column falls apart to the ground .... Qusmo's squad looks on in something approaching bemusement, wisely deciding to stay well away from the action...

Amazing scenes! But what on earth will happen now....

Everybody was penguin fighting, huh
Those birds were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening, hey, yeah
But they fought with expert timing

I am big fan of honourable Ninja Penguin Liberation Front. I particularly enjoy following films of honourable penguin-defending birds:

五つの炎のカンフー・フリッパーズ・オブ・デス [Five Flames of Kung Fu Flippers of Death]
忍者ペンギンバカ [Ninja Penguin Idiot]
忍者ペンギンバカ 2 [Ninja Penguin Idiot 2]
忍者ペンギンバカ3 - ペンギン化 [Ninja Penguin Idiot 3 - Penguin Transformation]
死の氷山 [Deadly Iceberg]
ペンギンは再び生きる [Penguins Will Live Again]
忍者ペンギン隊 [Ninja Penguin Team]

And truly it is impossible to forget

忍者ペンギンは、自分に悪意しか抱いていなかった哀れな邪悪な敵を攻撃し、打ち負かす [The ninja penguin attacks and defeats a pathetic, evil enemy who harboured nothing but malice towards him]

I am very much hoping that Ninja Penguin Liberation Front can defend penguins from shoggoth horrors!

There was funky penguin Bob and little penguin John
He said, "Here comes the shoggoth, let's get it on"
They took a bow and made a stand, started swaying as they'd planned
A sudden motion made them skip, now we're into a brand new trip

...the ninja penguins take their ninja kung-fu stance, feet slightly apart, one flipper extended towards the shoggoths, the other bent close to the body. Ooooooh... now penguin Bob - as I believe the leader of the NPLF is known - is making a 'come here' motion with the end of his flipper, daring the shoggoths to advance.

And amazing scenes here as the shoggoths also take a kung-fu stance! Who knew that unholy horrors from the dawn times, created as a slave race by the Elder Things, would know ancient martial arts!

Astonishing! The NPLF and the shoggoths are now fighting each other using the ancient martial art of kung-fu! It's compelling, almost balletic, as the shoggoth advantage of being able to grow pseudopods at will is countered by the penguin advantage of speed and agility. Goodness... watch as little penguin John pokes the central defender shoggoth in an eye while doing a somersault over what passes for a shoggoth's head, as elsewhere a shoggoth extends a protoplasmic pseudopod to trip up another NPLF member.

This may not be football, but it certainly is entertaining...

Everybody was penguin fighting (Huh)
Those birds were fast as lightning (Ha)
In fact, it was a little bit frightening (Huh)
But they did it with expert timing (Ha)

Say, those shoggoths seem to have missed a second wave group of ninja penguins flying into the ground on their ninja penguin jetpacks... they go straight for the glass cage holding the penguin mascots... they disconnect the air tube... and what's this?

The second wave of ninja penguins are attaching helium balloons to the penguin cage as their compatriots distract the shoggoths down on the pitch! Remarkable scenes as the glass penguin cage simply floats away, taking the penguin mascots to safety!

And the shoggoths have noticed... they seem absolutely enraged! They're screaming 'TEKELI-LI, TEKELI-LI!', but are unable to move away from the extraordinary ninja kung-fu skills of their antagonists from the NPLF!

Oh yeah
(Oh-ho-ho-ho, ha)
(Oh-ho-ho-ho, ha)
(Oh-ho-ho-ho, ha)
(Oh-ho-ho-ho, ha)
Keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on
Sure enough

Everybody was penguin fighting (Huh)
Those birds were fast as lightning (Ha)
In fact, it was a little bit frightening (Huh)
Make sure you have expert timing (Ha)

Honourable ninja penguins are now slowly taking steps back from enraged shoggoths. Their work is done. Their penguin brethren saved. Truly this is mighty moment for penguin rights movement across multiverse. All can now see that honourable ninja penguins are prepared to defend penguins from mass slaughter by ravenous shoggoths.

Ah! It is as I predicted! Honourable ninja penguins are now melting into crowd, using honourable ninja skills of stealth and speed. They seek them here, they seek them there; those shoggoths seek them everywhere! But in vain! Honourable ninja penguins have escaped, leaving behind enraged shoggoths, excited crowd, and slightly confused Qusmo team. Truly ninja penguins bring honour on entire penguin race!

In chaos, national anthems are now being played. Qusmo team line up anew; manager Ilinx-Kepex has sensibly kept their team completely separate from strange events, leaving team bemused but completely unharmed. Juan Tzimisces and Simeone Di Bradini heard reluctant shoggoths into line to respect Qusmo anthem, and to hear Imperial anthem played on pennywhistles. Shoggoths and mostly androgynous Qusmo team now line up to shake hands. It is almost as if events of last 20 minutes did not happen!

(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Penguin fighting
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Flippers as fast as lightning
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha
Keep on, keep on, keep on
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha
Yeah, yeah
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha

Everybody was penguin fighting
Flippers as fast as lightning
(Oh-ho-ho-ho) Huh, ha
(Oh-ho-ho-ho)

Hello. Welcome to Boring News from Snestar, the news designed to soothe. A round of 16 World Cup match took place last night between Qusmo and the Holy Empire. After a thrilling 90 minutes ended 1-1, and no further goals were scored in extra time, the Holy Empire won the penalty shoot-out 5-3. Apparently some slightly unusual events took place before the match. These involved penguins. But both the pre-match events and the subsequent match have been completely overshadowed here in Snestar by our shock 3-2 victory over Aphrilia, and our unexpected quarterfinal place. This is almost too much excitement for anyone to bear, so we won't tell you what happened before and during the Holy Empire-Qusmo match. Instead we will show you this video clip of paint drying, accompanied by the soothing and unexciting sound of waves gently breaking against the shore.

by **Indusse** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 10:19 am

WORLD CUP SPECIAL | SPORTS EDITION

TOTAL SHOWDOWN MARKS HISTORY FOR INDUSSE

Fröndt: After the wonderful victory against Chromatika, Indusse had to face Dantopia at Den Mytologiska Maneter in the Round of Sixteen. Since this was regarded as the first time the flocking blues were meeting Dantopia, every one seemed pretty tensed about the results. Predictions said that Indusse could have a slight advantage due to its all time performances but Dantopia seemed to have a pretty solid team that was led by their 'complete midfielder' Ezra Cunningham. Until the beginning of the match against Dantopia, the Round of Sixteen in the 96th World Cup hosted at Mertagne and Huayramarca. As history notes, Indusse lost to Brookstation in the Round of Sixteen and Brookstation went on to win the prestigious World Cup.

Critics and Fans of the sport all over the world claimed Indusse defeating Chromatika for such a huge margin to be a upset in the tournament. But Indusse was having their best time since they took a literal 'revenge' against their opponents in the Round of Thirty Two. As Indusse was at Fröndt to play against Dantopia, they were in high hopes. Would they be able to rewrite history and advance to the quarterfinals which could be their all time best performance? With the confidence, hope and pride; The flocking blues made their way into the ground. Both the squad were looking strong and ready to demolish each other, but we had to find one winner and the whistle blew giving way for the match to begin.

Dantopia had the possession in the early minutes of the game. Numerous counter attacks from Adeyemi and Brunson was seen in the first quarter of the first half. Indusse struggled to keep up with the pace in the beginning and most of their counter attacks were either blocked near the penalty area by Kahananui. During the thirty second minute of the game, Dantopian captain Ezra Cunningham was racing towards the goal through excellent dribbling against the Indussean defenders. Just as he reached near the penalty box, Djetson Hasle intentionally pushed him down the ground and in order to regain possession, kicked the ball which seemed to be trapped with Cunningham has he fell. As soon as the provocation happened, Cunningham stood up and meanwhile rest of the players gathered around to avoid a fight. As Djetson continued with the provocation, Cunningham rushed forward headbutting Djetson who falls down. With the unfortunate turn of events, the referee came in and decided to send off both Djetson and Cunningham back to the sidelines with the redcard. Both the teams were down by one player now.

With both the teams losing a key player each especially Dantopia since they lost their captain now had to compete a huge part of the game with just ten players. With the departure of Ezra Cunningham to the sidelines, Dantopian goalkeeper Alex Bullvale took over the responsibilities of a captain. Red cards for both the teams turned out to be a drastic change to the strategies that their managers would have planned. Was it the shock or the tension in such a crucial match, god knows. But the remaining minutes of the first half was changing into a cautious, gritty stalemate as both sides tried hard to reogranize their strategy. With no possible breaks in between, the first half ended with no goals from both the sides. But that was not it. No one expected that the second half of the match would turn into one of the most chaotic, breathtaking, and high scoring knockout match in World Cup history.

When the teams returned to the pitch with their new strategies that their managers would have explained during the break, Dantopia was the one to strike first. Making good use of a confusion that happened in the Indussean defense, Adeyemi pierced through the left flank and sealed it with a clinical finish past Shehzad in the 52nd minute. After all the drama in the first half, the first goal took fifty two minutes to be born. That was just the beginning. From the very next second, the flocking blues were like they just woke up from a deep sleep. With the midfield taking up the pace led by O'Shaughnessy and Grundjee, Indusse unleashed a furious counter offensive. The Indussean captain, Mersiás leveled the score with a stunning volley and just minutes later, the underated youth playmaker Djenkzo put them ahead for the first time after converting a miss pass by Kahananui.

Sixty five minutes had passed, three goals were born in a short time but that wasn't it. Dantopia had their eqalizer with Brunson who answered back with a powerful brace cutting ahead of Adhaan and Paulson. Soon Rahul brought up the lead for Indusse but Dantopia answered back to make it 3-3. Now scoring goals were like a routine, within the next ten minutes two more goals were born making sure the score remained in a draw. Towards the end of the ninetieth minute, Indusse has their captain Mersiás score a wonderful goal directly from a free kick just a few metres away from the penalty box. Extra time to the ninety minutes were added and both teams continued to get their best for victory. Yet in the final seconds a shot from Taramaia broke Indussean hearts which ended up tying the game with a score of five goals against five.

Ninety minutes were done, even the stoppage time has finished and still Indusse remains in a chaotic but entertaining draw against Dantopia. Now it was time for the extra thirty minutes to decide the winner. Both the teams had to make sure they get their goals in there and make sure their opponents doesn't score. Paulson commented during the break that finishing the game within the extra time would be safer than facing the opponents in the Penalties and maybe a sudden death stage. The extra time was called for and the first half of it had started. Still at this minute both the teams seemed strong and not ready to give up. In the one hundred and sixth minute, Adhaan started the 'goal scoring machine' with a header from a corner. Indusse takes a lead and the score is six against five. Within five minutes, Dantopia had the equalizer on the board. They had it in and now things started to get heated. The first half of the extra time came to an end and both the teams remained in a draw.

The match has already witnessed three breaks now and at all these breaks, both the teams had their scores drawn. This is very chaotic one could say, a match that could be called one of its kind. As the final half started, both the teams had started to look tired. Within two minutes, Paulson created an unwanted foul bringing him a yellow card which made him to be substituted and letting Tsang Po join in. Camanin also decided to call Grundjee back and let Vineeth in as a substitute. In the 123rd minute of the game, Dantopia got to get back their lead from an awesome bicycle kick goal by Watanabe.

Dantopia now had the lead and had to make sure they kept it around. But that didn't last long when in the 128th minute, Mersiás scored another goal claiming his first hat-trick in World Cup 101 and the first in the history of Indusse in the knockouts. Levelled again and getting closer to the final whistle, everyone grew impatient. A final stoppage time of two minutes were granted giving both the teams a final chance to win before the shootout. This time the luck was with the Indusseans. The substitute to the team during the final minutes, Vineeth K K scored the winning goal at the stoppage time sending Indusse to the quarterfinals for the first time in its history.

The Dantopian fans went silent, a game so nail biting, chaotic and unpredictable turned into a disaster for them. Meanwhile the Indussean camp had already started celebrating their historic win. Now Indusse is all set to face Busoga Islands in the Quarterfinals. A match that could be the toughest for them this season, Busoga Islands is the highest ranked football team remaining on the World Cup. Will Indusse keep on making history or is it the end that is near?

Indusse 5–5 Dantopia (7–6 AET)
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson, Adhaan, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaughnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Mersiás (c), Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: Paulson ⏷ Tsang Po ⏶, Grundjee ⏷ Vineeth ⏶
Goals: Mersiás (58', 90', 128'), Djenkzo (62'), Rahul (71'), Adhaan (106'), Vineeth (130+2')

OOC: I'm feeling pretty tired by the time I posted this and I suspect some kind of a mathematical inaccuracy with the number of goals scored and the one I've roleplayed about. Please pardon if there's an extra goal out there that's been RPed. The final list of goalscorers is the same as the one on the box.

by **Snestar** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 11:24 am

(AI Generated image in the background)

WC101 Round of 32: Snestar 3-2 Aphrilia
Goalscorers (Snestar):
48’ Angelica Malavoglia
88’ Elisa Baldriga
90+8’ Elisa Baldriga
Goalscorers (Aphrilia):
27’ Hannah Morgan-Keynes
70’ Theresa Villa
Red Cards (Aphrilia):
86’ Andrew Paxton
Player of the Match: Marta Camilla Barami

Snestar shockingly defeats Banija in another incredible upset: the Viola on its way to the Quarterfinals, while Audioslavia awaits

For the third time, against all odds, the tiny Viola has managed to defeat Aphrilia in an all-female 3-2 victory, securing its first ever Quarterfinals victory. Edoardo di Palma’s National Team has been shocking the entire World Cup world so far, since a debutant nation getting this far seemed unheard of. Snestar is also not alone: Dhemixia have also managed to reach the Quarterfinals, after beating hosts Farfadillis in a spectacular 3-4 victory. Now, the highest ranked out of the final 8 stands in the Viola’s way: Audioslavia, a familiar presence with whom Snestar had suffered 5-2 and a 3-6 defeats in the World Cup 100 qualifiers.

Snestar 3-2 Aphrilia: Match Report

Once again, Snestaryan media had shown that they have little to no faith in the National Team, despite the promising results. This time, most had predicted Aphrilia to secure a clean 2-0 victory, though LISA seemed to have had other plans. Once the Viola met their opponents in the pitch, it was clear that qualification to the Quarterfinals was going to be fought to the death (metaphorically, duh. We’re not monsters like the penguin-murdering shoggoths of The Holy Empire). Aphrilia was the first to open up the scoreline, with Hannah Morgan-Keynes winning a header over Balestri after a perfectly placed cross by Theresa Villa, impossible for Calvaresi to prevent. The easily predictable but very stable 4-4-2 diamond set up by Leonardo Bianchi allowed the Anchors to easily seize control throughout the first half, maintaining the Snestaryans safely within their own half for the majority of the time. Still, a tight, precise shot by Veronica Lodigiani in the 40th minute almost spooked Phillip Karnwell, almost allowing Snestar to equalize before halftime.

Before the second half started, Edoardo di Palma made sure to change things up drastically: being one goal down, he desperately needed more attacking possibilities, as well as a new way to throw the Aphrilians off-guard. He chose to ditch the 5-4-1 formation, throwing Matteo Gagliardi and Elisa Baldriga in place of Fabio de Filippi and Sebastiano Balestri, and subbing in Nicola Acanfora for an exhausted Martin de Roux. This new 4-3-3 tactic allowed the Viola to renew the fight almost immediately, thanks to Angelica Malavoglia in the 48th minute. After a long series of back-and-forth plays from both ends, it was clear that Aphrilia’s diamond was starting to crack… Until Snestar fell back down again. All it took was one sneaky lob by Theresa Villa, and the Viola’s morale had hit rock bottom once again. It almost seemed over for the Snestaryans: the players felt disoriented once again, with plays suddenly lacking depth and precision. However, just as the minutes were starting to fade away… 81st minute, Veronica Lodigiani, tackled by almost-last player standing Andrew Paxton. The entirety of the Snestaryan bench stood up, pointing their fingers at what they deemed a clear foul, and demanded a direct yellow card, yet Steven O'Truffet seemed to have been close enough to be able to intervene… The Farf referee proceeded to check the situation through VAR, taking four full minutes before confirming a direct red card, and a free kick in favor of the Viola. Both Gagliardi and Baldriga stood before the ball, waiting for the referee, but two to three additional minutes were wasted due to disorders within the penalty box, mostly between Malavoglia and O’Truffet. When the whistle was finally blown in the 88th minute, Gagliardi sprinted towards the ball, but faked the shot and let Baldriga smash the ball perfectly through the wall set up by the Aphrilians. Now at a 11vs10 player advantage, Snestar kept pushing, taking full advantage of the preposterous 10 minutes of stoppage time awarded by the referee. Finally, in the 98th minute, Baldriga shocked the entire crowd once again, scoring a spectacular goal from outside the penalty box, after a lengthy phase of pressuring the Aphrilians. The Snestaryan bench went ballistic, and immediately stormed the pitch to squish Baldriga, already savoring the sweet taste of victory. And finally, when the triple whistle was blown, the National Team exploded in euphoria, knowing they’d just made history.

After the match, we tried to interview both our coach Edoardo di Palma and POTM Elisa Baldriga this time, wanting to hear their own experience of the match, yet nobody was available. Concerns were raised regarding their relationship with alcohol, seeing how each success was leading the National Team to consume more and more wine and beer. But in the end, we chose to just let the Viola have its own fun. We don’t want to be the Karma Police, after all.

Quarterfinals vs Audioslavia
5-4-1 Formation
GK 1 Federico Calvaresi (C)
LB 5 Riccardo Cavaliere
CB 23 Fabio de Rossi
CB 4 Vittorio Gallerani
CB 32 Sebastiano Balestri
RB 13 Marta Camilla Barami
LM 10 Martin de Roux
CDM 25 Nicolò Fusar Bassini
CDM 26 Angelica Malavoglia
RM 20 Fabio de Filippi
ST 21 Veronica Lodigiani

by **Eshialand** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 12:35 pm

Here’s to the Dreamers

On the one hand, this was a very unfamiliar stage for the Owls to be on, as after all this match in Troglograd would be the first time Eshialand had ever continued past the first knockout round. On the other hand, Saint Eleanor were about the most familiar matchup they could’ve gotten, with various Owls teams over the years having played 7.5 hours of soccer against iterations of the White Stars squad. This clash between the known and the unknown left an interesting dynamic within this team, as they did have a battle plan, as long as they didn’t let nerves get in the way of executing said plan.

The Owls’ 1-1-3 record against Saint Eleanor wasn’t as much of a demotivator as the 3 would lead you to believe, as Mel Carey saw that first 1 and knew she had something to work off of. The things that separated that one win from the 3 losses were goals, and lots of them. The Owls had been on a full attacking tilt in that WC98 qualifying match, and even if they allowed four goals to be scored on them, it didn’t matter if they were smashing five past their opponents. Offense was absolutely critical here.

Gentle Breeze’s squad, on the other hand, would be playing slightly more defensively than usual, as she knew just how much of a threat the Eshians could be, but the Eleanorian squad had locked them down before and could do so again. As long as it stayed locked down…

At the start of the match, it was immediately apparent that just playing more offensively wasn’t going to break down this line. Lucas Meilling did open the scoring off a freak break in the 12th minute, but it was just that: a freak occurrence. Eshialand’s offensive push was already starting to backfire, as the much more solid Eleanorian formation managed to pot a tying goal from Isabella Bright in the 19th and a go-ahead goal from Naclé Öhân in the 24th. The momentum of this match was far from being in Eshialand’s favor, and Mel knew something had to change. This idea of blindly attacking was just not going to keep working out.

If she did know one thing about the Eshian team from this tournament, it was that they knew how to worm their way through a defensive formation. This wasn’t the complete post-football they had been used to cracking through, but there were still solid principles to be applied. They stopped trying to force the pace of the match, and instead embraced the momentum there was, with the goal being to slowly shift it back to their own favor. You can’t just force your way through any situation.

The adjustment period to this different playstyle did cost them in the short term, as an Elizabeth Wootton’s throw-in found Gisken Aldra, who made it 1-3 in the 34th with a beautiful shot through some Eshian traffic. It was the first time in this tournament the Owls found themselves trailing by multiple goals, but spirits remained high as half-time hit. The Eshian squad looked a lot more solid once they adapted to what the Eleanorians were throwing at them. And now, it was time for them to counter.

The Eshian rally began in the 49th, as Dax Young, Keiar Forsen, and Will Sandrie ran up the right side to set up a beautiful passing chain and Sandrie goal. Before too long, it was Keiar Forsen’s turn to tie it up in the 62nd, and the 70th saw Valentina Vashikova, who was just coming off the bench, making it a 4-3 lead for Eshialand. This match was all about back and forth, and the momentum was now firmly in the Owls’ favor.

This was only the third time any team had ever scored 4 goals against the Eleanorians with Gentle Breeze at the helm, with the first being that 5-4 in Eshialand City that Carey’s squad had been trying so hard to emulate, and the other coming at the end of this year’s qualifiers as Pasarga blanked them 4-0. Things clearly weren’t going to plan, and Gentle Breeze had to make sure her team took control of this match back. Kichirō Matsuda got a clean break in the 77th, tying things up with 13 minutes plus stoppage left to go.

On ENN’s broadcast, Josh Seametzle pointed out a curious stat: “I’ve just gone through the records Karsten, and the last time both teams scored 4 or more goals in any competitive Eshialand match was back in Eshialand City, World Cup 98, Qualifying Matchday 3… it was also against Saint Eleanor, and that man right there, Keiar Forsen, scored the decider…”

While this was a match that Mel Carey had clearly remembered well, as her management in this match revolved around emulating their gameplay from that one as much as possible, the fans hadn’t really thought about the score in it so much. Karsten Rhodes, Josh’s co-commentator, represented this obliviousness the best when he replied “you know Josh, I’m not entirely sure I even remember commentating that one, and with a score like that you’d think I would.”

“That’s actually because we were sent to South Newlandia to commentate the chess tournament instead, and the commentary back home was run by our producer Charlie Wingham and International Chess Master Danny Stehl!”

That’s when everything clicked, both for Karsten and the fans at home. This matchup wasn’t so much remembered for its score. It wasn’t remembered for being a well-earned home upset against a squad they hadn’t beaten before or since. What it was remembered for, however, was being the Wingham-Stehl Game. It was remembered for the completely clueless commentary run by one person who was only used to being behind the camera and one who hadn’t watched any soccer in decades. Clips of this one circulated on OurTube for months, and the ridiculous score in that one only added to the hilarity of the situation. It was understandable that, when the Eshian manager had her team play very aggressively compared to the norm, nobody apart from herself, the players, and Gentle Breeze quite knew what she was aiming for. Now that it was pointed out, however, the comparisons between these meetings were obvious.

The momentum on the pitch was quite dynamic over the last few minutes, but as the clock waned play was focused more and more on the Eleanorian side of the pitch. The White Stars had to get the play out of here, but first, and more importantly, they needed to make sure no Eshians made themselves heroes by breaking the tie.

The defense held strong, but as the 90th came to an end the match officials called for 5 minutes of stoppage. More than enough time, Lucas Meilling thought to himself, noticing that while the Eleanorians were doing an effective job keeping the midfielders from passing to the traditional goal-scoring threats, there might just be a hole for him to make a second break…

He passed the ball to Gary Tull who made it look like he was going to pass forward to Forsen or Sandrie, but really that ball had only one target, and that was right back from whence it came. Lucas got into position to take his shot on Kirsti Sundgren, and…

“IT’S IN! MEILLING NOTCHES HIS SECOND GOAL IN THE FIRST MINUTE OF STOPPAGE TIME, THE OWLS HAVE MADE IT 5-4!!”

The remaining 4 minutes passed, but Private Bright’s one shot on target was effectively held off by Bruske. For the second time, the Owls beat Saint Eleanor 5-4, and for the first time, they were headed to the World Cup quarterfinals. The whole team celebrated this absolute dream of a run, as Carey, in her first year as manager, had now led the Owls to more World Cup points than Kenny Morgan had in six qualifications from twelve cycles.

Next up, the Owls were headed to Urbsclavicum where they would square off in the quarterfinals against their hosts, Paradystopia. This squad knew only two things about this matchup: 1) they had no head-to-head record, which meant neither side had any real idea of how to go at this match, and 2) that the Paradystopians were also on an absolute tear, having just held Valanora to a clean sheet. This was going to be an absolute clash to see whose run was hotter, and the winner would become the first team from Esportiva to reach the semifinals since Tumbra’s 4th-place finish in WC97.

Win or lose though, the Owls couldn’t be happier with how things had gone. They finally moved past the mental blocks that held them back previously, and were now on a Cinderella run further than they had ever imagined. Win or lose, WC101 had been an absolute victory for both the team and the nation that followed them.

“Just a couple more blocks now…” Detective Bronwyn said as he kept dodging Eshialand City’s evening traffic. Despite now having a police escort with lights blaring, drivers in the downtown core weren’t notably patient. Yes, some would stop as the rules of the road told them to, but anyone who did would immediately be met with a barrage of honks from pissed-off drivers behind them.

However, there was a more pressing issue than the traffic going on around them, as when the Executive Building finally came into view, the “fugitives” noticed a group of EIS squad cars lined up outside the building.

“Oh dear, I was hoping this wouldn’t happen…” the king told Bronwyn, “this is a part of protocol whenever something like this happens…”
“And that is?”
“Whenever there’s an escaped fugitive near my office who’s suspected of anything violent or ESPECIALLY crimes against the government, which thanks to you we’ve now committed, the EIS does this to make sure they don’t go after me or any cabinet officials.”
“Can’t you, like, tell them to buzz off since you’re in the car?” Jake said as he signaled for Officer Randall to circling around some city blocks with him to buy some time.

“Do you think they had the time to check the surveillance footage and realize who I am before going on a high-speed chase in the biggest maze in the country? I thought you were supposed to be the one here who knows how the EIS operates! For all they know, we’re just some mailman named Doug and his getaway driver friend traipsing around Eshialand City with top secret intelligence documents!”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m panicking too much to think rationally… I’ll come up with something, hopefully before they realize we’ve started circling like sharks.”

“What in the world—” Michael Wylen said as he tiredly opened up the front door to the Executive Building. Usually, he’d’ve been out of there hours ago, but there was a lot of work for him to sort out today. Such was the life of the Chief of Staff: some days, there’s so little work to do that the king can just manage it all himself, and other days the king has seemingly disappeared leaving you to wrap up the day’s errands.

Just as he was signing the final papers for the day, he heard the sounds of police cars blaring outside. This was a relatively common occurrence, after all crime wasn’t necessarily non-existent in Eshialand City, but this time they weren’t going away. When Michael got done his work and opened the door to get to his car and go home, he was met with an absolute scene. EIS cars had encircled the Executive Building, while a Eshialand City PD car was driving around seemingly aimlessly, being followed by — was that Jacob Bronwyn’s car?? — with another horde of EIS cars following the two.

“Can anyone here tell me exactly what’s going on here?” Michael asked Officer Kiana Brant, one of the officers parked outside the building.
“Long story short, clown in a mailman suit, classified files, and I don’t think anybody knows why the ECPD is helping these guys, but we can’t necessarily do anything if it risks fellow peace officers as collateral damage… even if ECPD gets under my skin sometimes…”

Michael took a look at the car that looked like Bronwyn’s, and… oh no.

“Why does the guy in the passenger seat look suspiciously like my boss?” he asked.
“I dunno, maybe it is your boss.” she replied, clearly not realizing who Michael or his boss were. “Maybe your next boss could give you a promotion or something once this guy’s arrested.”
“Officer… you do know I’m the Executive Building Chief of Staff, right?”
“No? Why does that—”
“You know my boss is King William, right?”
“...what?? Are you sure that’s him??”
“I’ve known him since we were kids, of course I would recognize him. That man in the mailman suit is undeniably the King of Eshialand.”

Brant had to call back to the Capital Detachment. “Uh, can you guys look at the security camera footage from HQ and tell me if that mailman guy looks anything like King William? It’s, um, kind of important.”

“I’ll ask Monley for access to it I guess, I’m sure he’d say yes…”

When Monley heard that “Doug the mailman” was probably King William, he went ballistic. Not that the king could ever do such a thing, of course, after all just look at the William Davidson shit. But how could he not recognize this man he saw every week through a simple disguise?

“Of course, take all the footage. If this was actually that moron, he is going to pay, PAY.”
“Um, Director Monley, how do you think he’s going to pay?” one of the nearby officers said, worried that he might be threatening the king.
“Uh— monetarily. He owes me for that USB!”

Once the officers at the Capital Detachment had their hands on the security footage, they were able to figure out the identities of the men in that car. The passenger in the mailman outfit was indeed William, and the getaway driver, the man who actually took the USB, was Detective Jacob Bronwyn. They relayed the information back to Brant, who then informed the chase team who they were actually chasing.

“Um…” one of the officers at the station noted, “I was looking further back in the footage, and it looks like that USB was actually from Bronwyn’s desk to begin with… it looks like he was taking it back from Monley after he swiped it and took it to his office after hours…”
“What? Why?”
“I dunno, but you might wanna call back to the officers at HQ to ask if Monley knows anything… this might be more complicated than it looks.”

“So are we just supposed to let him into the Executive Building?” Paul Alexian, the officer driving the lead chase car, asked Brant when she told him who was behind the wheel.
“No, but there’s no way you can use any sort of excessive force here. We NEED to be negotiating.”

bzzzt

“Officers Brant, Alexian, and all other officers on the scene: the station is filing a warrant for that USB as a part of an investigation into Mark Monley, be advised that the data must be retrieved at all costs.”

Brant couldn’t believe what she was hearing from the station. “Into Monley? What kind of backwards world is this?”
“Listen, I was surprised too, but clearly something’s going on here that we don’t know about. Officer Alexian, please do the best you can to stop the king from doing anything stupid again.”

“Ughh…” Alexian groaned, “Carol, turn on the speakers.”

Bronwyn’s car was rapidly running out of fuel. If these two didn’t find a way to get into the Executive building soon, they were gonna be arrested before sundown, and it would be curtains on their whole investigation.

“DETECTIVE BRONWYN, KING WILLIAM…”

“Shit, they know who we are…” Jake muttered before the officer behind them kept yelling through the car’s external speakers.

“THIS IS OFFICER PAUL ALEXIAN, AND YOU ARE—” he sighed before continuing, “—NOT UNDER ARREST. WE NEED THE INFORMATION ON THAT USB, AND IF YOU HAND IT OVER, WE’LL LET YOU GO.”

“Please!” the king yelled back, “you’re just gonna give it back to Monley!”
“I’M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH IT OVER A LOUDSPEAKER, PLEASE PULL OVER SO WE CAN DISCUSS THIS PRIVATELY!”

Jake really had no other choice, he had to pull this thing over. “I’m sorry for anything that happens Will, we have to negotiate…”

The cars pulled over, and it was time for the two sides to discuss what would come next. Officer Randall from the ECPD made sure to mediate between them and make sure that things didn’t get out of hand, but his presence would soon be rendered unnecessary.

“Listen, Officer Alexian,” Jake pleaded, “you have to understand what’s on this USB. Mark Monley’s been plotting to support anti-government political movements, and this drive has the proof.”
“Okay, I was told Monley was under investigation, but… that??” he asked, taken completely aback.
“Yeah, that’s why I had to take it from him. He was gonna wipe it and have me fired, and then nobody would ever know the truth. That’s why we don’t want the EIS going anywhere near this thing.”
“The warrant we have would send this straight to Internal Affairs. By design, Monley cannot meddle in the investigation or have you fired, now that you're considered protected persons of interest. In fact, you’d be valuable assets considering everything you know about this.”
“How do you know I know anything?” the king asked.
“Why else were you in EIS HQ?”
“Fair enough I suppose.”
“Anyway…” Alexian continued, “if you hand us the USB, we’ll have IA call you in the morning and sort everything out. I promise.”

Bronwyn handed Alexian the evidence USB. “Fine by me,” he said. “We’ll see you in the morning then.

by **Dhemixia** » Tue Jun 16, 2026 1:50 pm

The Longest 90 Minutes of Your Life (in a Pub)

Welcome to The Dockworks. Located right on the water in Brigantine, it's been in operation since practically the start of time. Men working on the harbor would come here after their shift to hang out and grab a beer, factory workers would gather here for union meetings, the building's practically seen it all. Nowadays, it's prime real estate for a sports bar, and that's what it essentially has become. Don't pay your tab after the Dhemixian baseball NT loses again? Into the river. Clog the toilet and don't tell anyone? Into the river. Try to order a Drawkian anything? Into the river. Every match, the Dhemixian NT diehards converge on the Dockworks to watch it and cry together. At least, that's what they did before World Cup 101. Once the Serps started winning games, it started actually becoming fun for them. That brings us to now.

Tonight, hundreds of Dhemixians will converge on the one establishment in Columbus where they can escape the reality of Dhemixian sports, even if it's just for one night. Sure, none of them will be able to drive by halftime, but that's fine because the Dhemixian roadway system is just as dysfunctional as its public transportation. They were here a couple nights ago for the largest win in Dhemixian history, and they're all here again to watch Dhemixia-Farfadillis and hope this game breaks that record. A select few of them actually believe they have a shot, with the majority just being there for the sense of companionship, but that's all the Serpents will need. Through the next 90 minutes, every toilet in the building will be irreversibly clogged, all of the suspects will be thrown into the river, and multiple years will be taken off the lives of everyone in attendance. This is peak football.

1' - Kickoff

Initial hope is high for this match, but the jury is still out on its sincerity. Almost half of the toilets are already down after the 30-minute pregame show, which is promising, and the perpetrators are hiding out as fugitives. Every foul called on a Dhemixian is absurd, every no-call on a Farf is egregious, and all of the referees are almost certainly paid off. I know that because the guy next to me (who is already three Dhiller Lites deep) said so. An absolute legend buys a whole round for the bar around the five-minute mark, but that elation is forgotten when Grant Clarke puts a point-blank shot on an empty net over the crossbar and into row J. It's a wonder he hasn't been sent to Holderbridge yet.

8' - Donato Trigueros goal, 1-0 Farfadillis

It's so over. It's actually never been more over. The bar is filled with a cacophony of boos, excuses being made, and hope being lost. Baliñas finds Trigueros in the midfield on a through ball, Donato beats Dominic Sanford on the outside, and it's a simple finish into the bottom corner to slot it past Williamson. Top-class playmaking from the midfielder, and no matter how many times drunk patrons scream for a review, it's not coming back.

9' - goal overturned on review, Trigueros was offside

Has anyone ever been more bailed in the history of ever? The Dhemixians are given a second life after Boro Ouattara goes mental on the side judge to review it for potential offsides, and the head referee sides with the Dhemixian gaffer. The bar practically explodes after the ruling. The guy next to me, midway through his fourth, declares that "they clearly didn't give him enough if they were trying to pay him off". He'll only get funnier as the night continues.

18' - Randy Calhoun goal, 1-0 Dhemixia

Imagine the loudest noise possible. Then double that. Now imagine that in a bar. That is exactly what didn't happen when Randy Calhoun scored this, because the bar's TV feed cut out right as the corner was delivered into the box. They only managed to get it back on when they were showing the replay, as Adrian Bush found Calhoun on the back post to guide home the Dhemixian lead. During all the celebration, someone somehow found a way to snatch one of the urinals off the wall and get it out of the bar undetected, so search parties are being sent out with orders to take the culprit alive. Their apparent plan is to escort him back to the bar to then be thrown into the river with the urinal. Truly amazing stuff from Columbus, Dhemixia.

31' - Limunde Varuyjá goal, 1-1

Nevermind. The Farves have leveled it, a mere 13 minutes after the Serps went up. It's becoming increasingly clear that this game will not be the same 1-0 purgatory as the Flavovespia game was. The bar dropped into dead silence as the free kick was taken. Everyone collectively knew that this was where the Dhemixians would let up the lead, just nobody knew how they'd do it. The game was completely forgotten for the following three minutes, however, as the urinal thief was apprehended shortly after the goal and promptly launched into the river with the urinal in his arms. Nothing like pirate justice in a landlocked city.

45+2' - Donato Trigueros goal, 2-1 Farfadillis

Of course they did. Why wouldn't they? Right as the half's about to end, the Dhemixians internally pack it in and let up a go-ahead goal in the process. Qehu Daj Zhdihi coming up the wing, beats Drew McMahon, crosses in for Trigueros, and Donato puts a disgusting scissor kick into the net off the cross. This one's not coming back after review. You'd think someone died in the bar with the reaction it got, and it's actually amazing that nobody did. To make bad things worse, the third of four toilets has clogged. The culprit very clearly knew what he was doing, and immediately after committing the act, fled out the front door and down the street on foot. Understanding that halftime was in like three minutes, half the bar went after him because throwing someone in the river was more entertaining than watching this game. And can you blame them? It really does get fun after the third time you watch it.

45' - Halftime

No word on whether or not they've detained the serial clogger, but he did double back and run past the bar again, this time turning the other way. The owner, upon seeing him, also decided to go after him. It's safe to say that he's now public enemy #1, somewhat ahead of public enemy #2, Donato Trigueros. The guy next to me, now on his sixth Dhiller Lite of the night, has begun ranting about the "good old days" of football, back when The Holy Empire was the best team in the multiverse and you were still allowed to use your hands to pass the ball. He is also attempting to flirt with a cardboard cutout of a beer bottle, but that's just par for the course at this point. Not a single soul is actually watching the halftime show.

57' - Jonathan Obisana goal, 2-2

In the midst of "it's so over", I found there was, within me, an invincible "we're so back". Two minutes before the goal, they got the Columbus Clogger, sent him into the river, and all rushed back into the bar to watch the free kick of a lifetime. 3-man wall, 20 yards out, bends it around the outside and the ball somehow comes back to find the top corner. Forget Trigueros's goal, that might have been the new goal of the game. The guy next to me, probably at least a hundred denarii down the drain at this moment, decides to crack open his seventh of the night solely to chuck it into the crowd and spray everyone with beer as Obisana tied the game. This is the peak of Dhemixian football culture.

59' - Jonathan Obisana goal, 3-2 Dhemixia

He's done it again! Obisana with a brace to take the lead in the Round of 16! What a goal it was, too. The Farves, flustered that they've just let an equalizer in, get a little too hasty in the middle third with their passes and Obisana does it all himself. He slices through the midfield, finds a gap in the defense, and chips one over Iwaszkiewicz for his second of the night. Unbelievable stuff from the Serpents, as the guy next to me buys his eighth of the night and again solely cracks it open to chuck into the crowd. Even the bodyguards assigned to keeping the last toilet in the establishment in operation are celebrating. They've just gotta hold on for the next 30 minutes.

68' (you get neither of them) - Míkêl Lôçô goal, 3-3

The Dhemixians, to nobody's surprise, did not hold on for the next 30 minutes. The guy next to me sadly sips his ninth of the night as he laments on what he just saw. Míkêl Lôçô, maybe one of the best players on the Farf NT, just absolutely fried the entire Dhemixian midfield, took it through the defense himself, ripped one from like 25 yards out, and somehow found the top corner past Williamson with it. That is the new goal of the night, reclaiming the title from Obisana's second. The bar falls into silence for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. In the meantime, someone's just tried to drill a hole through the bathroom wall from the outside to go clog the final toilet, but they were caught and had to flee the scene when they hit a cable and cut out the feed from one of the TVs. It just gets dumber and dumber.

83' - Rick Wilson goal, 4-3 Dhemixia

35 years of age, 17 years of professional service as a center back, and Rick Wilson's first international goal is in the 83rd minute of a Round of 16 match to put Dhemixia up. It's unbelievable, and I've never heard a noise nearly as loud as when his header hit the back of the net. Adrian Bush on what feels like his millionth corner of the night whips it in to Rick Wilson, who gets his opportunity and doesn't miss it. Corner of the box, Wilson gets in front of Abelardo Couce, bottom corner near post, cash money. The place went ballistic. Someone tore another urinal off the wall and it's currently crowdsurfing. Unfathomable amounts of beer are spread all over the ceiling and walls. The bodyguards are defending that last toilet like it's the Holy Grail. This is mass hysteria at its finest.

90+6' - Full Time, Dhemixia win 4-3

The city may be burned down in the process, but Dhemixia has won a Round of 16 match. A group of absolutely hammered patrons parade the urinal to the edge of the water, eulogize it, and then throw it in. The bar owner has to get armed guards to defend the last functioning toilet. It's a miracle that The Dockworks is even still standing. None of it matters. Dhemixia is in a World Cup Quarterfinal, and the guy next to me (currently on his 11th) has probably paid for all of the repairs needed by himself. I'm frankly scared for the next match to see what they'll do to this place. I wouldn't trade it for the world, though.

World Cup 101 - The Roleplays

WC101 5

Who is online