World Cup 99 - RP Thread

[Zenic]

"I personally think that went shockingly well."

"Granted, almost anything other than a loss by three goals or more would have been an improvement. But still, any points are greatly appreciated over a 'moral victory' type of loss," Luke Killian elaborated on his previous statement. Could he have worded that better? Sure. But the statement was still true. Even 24 hours after, all the way back home in the Empire, sitting in a room with the Emperor, Consul and Minister of Sports, Kilian could confidently say that Geraldo Zys put the Survivors into a favorable position after the first matchday while simultaneously keeping the playing field level against a burgeoning rial.

Albeit, it was a weird history with Edsmontik. Both nations were previous Baptism of Fire champions: the Survivors won all the way back in the 55th edition during World Cup 68's cycle and the Edsmon Eagles recently won the 84th edition during World Cup 97's cycle. Despite being from different regions, the two squads had very similar ideas and strategies: overwhelm in the middle of the pitch with numbers, play through the wings, carefully pick your attacks but go all out once you decide to go for a goal. Everything set them up to be kindred spirits that admired each other's work more than rivals. And yet, Margaret had decided that the two squads must do battle in the World Cup for each of the last three cycles.

World Cup 97 was their first such encounter with Zenic coming out on top in a 3-0 victory in Pasarga. Zenic had the advantage thanks to the World Cup taking place in their home region of Rushmore and momentum coming off the heels of World Cup 96, their first trip back since the ZSF conflict. Yet, the gulf between the two was not as large as one would expect, as the Edsmon Eagles would prove when the World Cup would shift from Western Rushmore to Eastern Rushmore for World Cup 98. The peaks of mountains of Oriannor would prove to be a symbol of dread and superstition for future generation of Survivors fans as the national team were unable to stop the incoming 6-3 onslaught of the eventually 4th place finishers.

It started to become apparent that despite the similarities, the strategy they both employed worked different magic for each. Zenic used the style to great effect in the Copa Rushmori, taking home the trophy in 45 and coming close in the most recent edition. Meanwhile, Edsmontik could not make it past the quarterfinals of the Independents championship in several attempts but almost won the grandest prize of them all last cycle with a similar strategy. Basically, the Survivors should have lost this game yet here they stood, in a four way tie for first in Group H and only at the bottom of the table thanks to alphabetical order. And, might Killian add, they maintained a streak of 3 straight games with 3 goals against Edsmontik. He'd have to remember to share that factoid at a more appropriate time. "So, what's our prognosis for the rest of the group stage?"

Luke Killian snapped back to reality to answer the question. "Best case scenario: we defeat Nova Calania and Baggieland to finish top two and make the knockouts again. Worst case: we draw both and finish just shy of the 8 best third place squads to be knocked out in the group stage for a second straight cycle. Everything in between takes too much math and makes my head spin." That last statement drew a chuckle from the Emperor and Consul as well as the tiniest of smirks from the Sporting Minister. Killian straightened up and leaned forward in his chair. "Everyone who is here deserves to be here. There really aren't any 'easy' games, even for the iconic nations and recent world champions. The defending champions scrounged out a 1-0 victory over Cardenao. Sqournshelan Remnant States had to survive against the Martian Independent Republic 4-3. Pasarga, Eastfield Lodge, Farfadillis, Banija also ended up with draws from their first matchups. Audioslavia, Tikariot and Siovanija & Teusland LOST. I'm not trying to set you up with expectations for failure but I am setting you up for realistic expectations."

"At this point, we need to be expecting this squad to be good enough for a win and a draw from the next two games. Two wins is a bit of a pipe dream but theoretically plausible if we get hot." The atmosphere in the room grew quieter and more serious. Someone had to get down to brass tacks with the Emperor. "Can we make history this cycle? Yes, we can win our first World Cup group ever. Will we?" Killian straightened up in his seat again.

"That's why we play the game, is it?"

[Ko-oren]

So the Fantasy game for the World Cup Qualifiers has been here for a while. What started as an intern's hobby project ahead of the qualifiers for colleagues, friends, and family (where the absolute first plan was for every competitor to keep track of their own score!) now is a multiversal thing that people fill out before kickoff and then forget about until the one tryhard in their group either goes 'I won, I'm such a fucking genius' or goes 'how did you beat me, you don't even know ball fr fr'.

We can now look back on over 10 editions of Fantasy. And that means that, ahead of World Cup 100, we can give you every detail on the 90-99 qualifiers.

Thirty-one teams have played all ten campaigns in that stretch. This excludes every team that has hosted once, of course, as 'being a host' somehow means that a team doesn't have to test itself and then relies solely on home advantage to carry them. Among the 31: the ones you expect to be there. Valanora, Zwangzug, Ko-oren, the Holy Empire. We'll have a look at the best performers in qualifiers and yeah, they're going to be towards the top of that list too. But among the 31 there's also Darkmania, who, at a 16% win percentage, clearly value 'participation is more important than winning', and Britonisea (who were very close to 100 losses in the decade), Natanians and Nosts. All three have lost more than 50% of their matches - the other 28 don't drop half their battles.

So, if you've been here for all ten campaigns, you've played 170 games. The minimum is 12 for those who've only been in World Cup 96, who had the shortest qualification campaign. In general, we've moved to shorter qualifiers: World Cups 90-94 had 14, 20, 20, 22, and 20 games respectively, and then 95 and on had 14, 12, 16, 14, and now 18.

At this point you might want to know who have the 1) most wins, 2) highest win percentage, 3) highest goal difference, 4) most points and 5) most fantasy points. And for all five, you guessed it, it's Valanora. The categories they didn't win were most goals scored (The Holy Empire 498 vs Valanora 494) and fewest goals conceded (Vixette 10 vs Valanora 220, so clearly the Elves are a bunch of stat-padding cheats).

Absolute stats are cool, but relative stats are better. The teams with the highest goals scored per game played are Nyowani Kitara (2.99), The Holy Empire (2.93), Farfadillis (2.91), Valanora (2.91), and Tikariot (2.90). These haters of the beautiful game are balanced well by the fewest goals conceded per game played: Sylestone (.43), Ko-oren (.49), Vixette (.56), Audioslavia (.57), and Tero al Disco (.64). It's interesting how the top scoring teams rely on teams who've consistently scored a lot throughout the decade while the best defences include a few teams with one amazing cycle who've never returned for a second (Vixette with only 18 appearances, Loch Dearg, 6th place with just 16, and Paradystopia at 8th with just 18 games played). Of course, two of these have only just played their first games and we expect them back for some much needed defensive football going forward.

Combining both, some teams have the best goal difference per game played, which should be a combination of scoring and preventing goals - but here it's Valanora again in first (+1.61 goal difference per game), with Græntfjall and Farfadillis joint second (+1.5) and Nephara and Banija rounding out the top five (1.46 and 1.45). Defence-first teams don't do that well on this list: Ko-oren is 29th, Audioslavia 38th, Sylestone 48th. Clearly to leave a statistic impression you need to favour offence over defence and if that's what football represents these days, I'm out.

Wins
1. Valanora (133)
2. Zwangzug (126)
3. Ko-oren (122)
4. The Holy Empire (121)
5. Saint Eleanor (114)
Huayramarca (114)

Lowest Loss Percentage
1. Valanora (5.88)
2. Crpostran (6.67)
3. Banija (8.55)
4. Tumbra (10)
Græntfjall (10)

Goals for
1. The Holy Empire (498)
2. Valanora (494)
3. Tikariot (452)
4. Juvencus (448)
5. Drawkland (438)

Points
1. Valanora (426)
2. Zwangzug (402)
3. Ko-oren (389)
4. The Holy Empire (387)
5. Flavovespia (370)

Fantasy Points
1. Valanora (474)
2. Zwangzug (434)
3. The Holy Empire (433)
4. Ko-oren (412)
5. Huayramarca (408)

Maybe we shouldn't, but perhaps there's merit in looking at the worst that the multiverse has thrown at us in this last decade. Two nations have completed multiple cycles without recording a win, for instance (NexxusDrako, 0 for 32, and Beepee, 0 for 36), and overall, 35 out of our 516 teams have failed to win. A wholly different category is 'most losses', which you can only get into if you've completed multiple cycles. The more the better, and the mediocrely the better as well. And at the top two we indeed see two teams who've completed the full 170 games of the last ten campaigns: Darkmania (111) and Britonisea (98). Behind them is Quakmybush, Baptism of Fire 42 heroes and losers of 97 games having missed a single campaign.

Similar but different are the teams with the highest loss percentage. That includes two nations with Oops! All Losses - Atetancillo and the Christian Brothers (0-0-20 and 0-0-14). The latter would be helped not selecting a full XI from a single family, maybe. Then we have a bunch of teams who have a single win or draw to an impressive amount of Ls - 20 teams, in fact - including such prophetic team names as Unpleasant, Corrupt Petrostate, and Potenzia.

That's just results, but failing to get on the scoresheet is also an issue. You can still draw 0-0 without scoring, so there's no problem necessarily, but then you have a team like Saltidia scoring, on average, once every four games (0.25), followed by Of the Godless and Of the Golden Harp (.286 goals per game). This stat is interesting because every team sticking around for a second qualification campaign got to regress back to the mean and score at least once every other game. We see a similar thing in 'most goals against': both categories are dominated by teams with short tenures. There's The Union of the Burnt Proclamation conceding nearly 4 per game (3.8), Of the Holy See (3.6), Imporia (3.4).

Hey, hang on, that's a lot of 'Of the'. As far as we know, they're not related, but maybe go by a different name if your nation starts with 'Of'. It doesn't bode well. Now because the defensive category is so much worse than the offensive one, teams with the worst 'goal difference per game' are the ones already mentioned. Of the Holy See (-2.6), Unpleasant (-2.5), Shep (-2.4). The latter pops up for the first time here but makes most top 5s in the other bad categories.

And then there's the 'oh, right, yeah' category: most draws. There's little you can say here, other than you played a lot of games and you've gotten unlucky on wins and lucky on losses perhaps a bit more than most. Poafmersia (44) with Juvencus (41) and Kimi-Suomi (41) lead this category. We're not sure what to make of it either. Krytenia (38) show up early on as well despite missing two campaigns. It's a bit like the 'most goals against' category. To make it, you have to play a lot of games, and everyone who sticks around for multiple campaigns drifts up the rankings a bit anyway, where you concede fewer goals. So that's where we get Darkmania, Britonisea, Quakmybush, Abanhfleft, Pyazhnaya, and StrayaRoos in the top six. The latter two are in the current World Cup and Abanhfleft missed it by a point (after tying 10th place Moladea 2-2 on the final matchday and also tying first place Chromatika 2-2 on the preceding matchday). So we almost had half the top six in 'most goals conceded' making the World Cup - so clearly it's not a very defining metric. We wanted it to be. We really wanted to make the point of 'bad defences don't go anywhere' but that's just not the case. Game's gone.

One last thing is that in Fantasy points, you can go into the negatives because of the '-1 point for every 3-goal or worse loss' and as many as 53 teams have managed that. That's over 10% of the entire field! As you'd imagine, as with the other negative stats, there aren't too many that sat through a negative season and enrolled their team for another arsewhooping. And those that did generally managed to steer clear of multiple negative seasons. That said, some brave squads sat through it all and NexxusDrako (32, -10), Beepee (36, -6), East Murbley (40, -6), the Grearish Union and Megistos (both 30, -2) and special mention Caribbia (58, -1, so that's three cycles) are the only ones to not manage to crawl out of the depths despite multiple attempts.

[United States of Nova Calania]

A draw against Baggieland

Starting XI - Matchday 1 vs Baggieland @ BCEL Stadium, Jinja City, Hangaza, Banija - Home: Baggieland - Away: Nova Calania
GK SERGE - LB ALYSSA (Ouzy 70')- CB VLODZY - CB GIBBY - RB NATEY - DCM LE GÉNÉRAL - LW MEI - RW ROSE (Evan 70') - ACM CHARLOTTE - S ROD - S FRED (Lily 81')

BAGGIELAND   2
NOVA CALANIA 2

Jinja City, Hangaza, Banija - An historic moment for the United States of Nova Calania! For the first time in our history, we played a World Cup match. Nova Calania is the 3rd nation from the Nova Calania sub region of Anaia to participate at the World Cup. Our neighbors Cardenao qualifies regularly. Our other neighbors at the southend end of the Nova Calania sub region, HOT DAMN, qualified last cycle even before establishing themselves in the region, and they did it again this year.

On matchday 1, the Tapirs played against Baggieland in Jinja City, located north of Busukuma, the capital city of Banija. Baggieland ttacked at the 24th minute when Ronnie Regis had the ball and made a short pass to Jeff Richardson who faked to kick the ball and passed to Laurie Bassett who kicked it into the goal. Nova Calania replied at the 28th minute when Mei Qi Xiong dribbled with the ball and made a cross to Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin who kicked the ball past Ben Osborne and the game is tied at 1-1.This is the score at halftime. Nova Calania attacked at the 65th minute when Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin had the ball and made a short pass to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez who faked to kick and passed to Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau. She kicks and it's a goal. Ronnie Regis scored on a free kick at the 70th minute and the game is tied at 2-2. This is the final score, for their first World Cup match, Nova Calania draws with Baggieland.

Edsmontik and Zenic also had a draw on matchday 1, meaning all four teams in group H are tied with one point. On matchday two, the Tapirs will play against Zenic, also known for their hockey team. Both nation never played a soccer (football) match against each other but they faced off In the Round of 16 of the WCoH 50 when Zenic beat Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove 5–5 (3–1 SO). Nathan McCaskill had a red card against Baggieland on matchday 1 at the 70th minute and will miss matchday 2 against Zenic. Evan MacNeely will replace him in the starting XI.

24th     GOAL BAGGIELAND   Laurie Bassett assisted by Jeff Richardson
28th     GOAL NOVA CALANIA    Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin  assisted by Mei Qi Xiong
65th     GOAL NOVA CALANIA    Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau assisted by Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez 
70th     GOAL BAGGIELAND   Ronnie Regis (Free Kick)

Starting XI - Matchday 2 vs Zenic @ Keystone Stadium, Sisonke, Kitara, Banija - Home: Nova Calania - Away: Zenic
GK SERGE - LB ALYSSA - CB VLODZY - CB GIBBY - RB EVAN - DCM LE GÉNÉRAL - LW MEI - RW ROSE - ACM CHARLOTTE - S ROD - S FRED

Paul-André Veilleux

Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer and Burnham-on-Stove draws each other on matchday 1

Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - There is a new domestic competition in Nova Calania, the Nova Calanian cup. This is not a club cup, it's a cup being played between each 5 states: Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer, Burnham-on-Stove, Odlegla Ziemia and a joint team: Shanzhou and Aztec Confederacy. On matchday 1, Odlegla Ziemia beat Shanzhou and Aztec Confederacy with goals from Tymoteusz Smolinski at the 14th minute and Skylar Olszewska at the 38th minute. The other match was being played between Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer and Burnham-on-Stove and ended with a 1-1 draw. Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer took the lead at the 19th minute when Marcelin Nkoulou made a cross to Rosalie Clairoux who headed the ball past Keegan Threadgold. Burnham-on-Stove tied the game at the 78th minute when Evelyn Hunter Santana made a short pass to Megan Klingenberg who kicks the ball and it's in. The game is tied at 1-1 and this is the final score. Both teams are expected to meet again in the grand final of the tournament.

On matchday 2, Burnham-on-Stove will receive Odlegla Ziemia while Shanzhou-Aztec Confederacy will travel to Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. Charles-Alexandre Ng (Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer) will miss matchday 2 because of an injury and Florence Guillemette will replace him in the starting XI.

ODLEGLA ZIEMIA                  2
SHANZHOU AND AZTEC CONFEDERACY  0

14th     GOAL ODLEGLA ZIEMIA   Tymoteusz Smolinski assisted by Grzegorz Kryszalowicz
38th     GOAL ODLEGLA ZIEMIA   Skylar Olszewska  assisted by Maximilien Wozniakowski

SAINT-JEAN-JACQUES-SUR-MER     1
BURNHAM-ON-STOVE               1

19th     GOAL SAINT-JEAN-JACQUES-SUR-MER   Rosalie Clairoux assisted by Marcelin Nkoulou
78th     GOAL BURNHAM-ON-STOVE   Megan Klingenberg  assisted by Evelyn Hunter Santana

Chloé Bellefleur

[Captina Island]

Rosso e Oro debut new unis, fall in WC opener
The Captina Company Press Association

The Captina Company National Football Team made their first ever appearance in the World Cup in Siovanija and Teusland against HOT-DAMN at the Stadion Ivo Balikor, although they looked nothing like any Captina side in the previous 195 match history of TCCNT.

The 4-2 defeat on matchday 1 will probably be remembered less for the result and more for the design of the kit worn; red and gold alternating blocks with a pair of black stripes and gold shorts was a departure from the traditional look, although gold socks remained the lone constant held over; this design was only meant to be a one-off for the Finals although The Captina Company Football Agency has hinted that a reimagining of the current kit might be in the works.

Among her many other accolades, Patience Wedgewood will forever be the answer to the trivia question "who scored Captina's first ever World Cup goal?", as the all time goal leader put the Rosso e Oro on the board after HOT-DAMN had jumped out to a 2-0 first half advantage; Marcella Lillywhite added a second to pull the score back to a 2 goal deficit in the second half but that was as close as Captina would come

It will be a familiar foe on matchday 2 as Farfadillis will provide the opposition for the third time this cycle and fifth over the previous two World Cup; the Farfs and Eastfield Lodge drew 1-1 in their opening fixture and both nations will be looking to take the maximum points from remaining schedule against the two lower seeded nations in Group B.

La Vherderoja swept both meetings in WCQ 99 but will be wary of side that took four points off them in the previous qualifying for the Rushmore hosted WC. Captina fell by only a single goal in their last visit to Arrosia prior to the Finals in the away leg, and have demonstrated firepower to rely upon.

Captina have all to play for over the final two matches, as Wedgewood and her cohort that have been the trailblazers of mixed gender international squads have made clear that this will be their last hurrah. What better way to ride into the sunset than to topple a former World Cup championship once again?

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 3–2 Aleirave
(Milano 7', Arruda 64', Serra 90+3' | Veshchik 25', Lifevaneka 79')
Radlov Arena, Brantisvogan, Squornshelan Remnant States

SERRA SENDS SALVATION TO HUELAVIA!

A late goal from Serra gives HUElavia a crucial victory over Aleirave to open up World Cup 99 at the Squornshelan Remnant States in a thrilling encounter!

After many matches had been played throughout the opening rounds at Siovanija & Teusland and Banija, it was finally time for the opening games at Squornshelan Remnant States in groups I through L. Thus, HUElavia was taking on Aleirave at Radlov Arena (76,800) in Brantisvogan, the largest venue in the Group Stage at SRS, as well as in the most populated city within the SRS. Such a fitting venue for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos, always loving the biggest venues in the multiverse to show off. A sold out crowd awaited both teams, with a slight advantage to the HUElavians, who came out in droves of yellow, blue and green to take the left endzone and some more. Coach Casillas relied on his A-Team of players, coming out at full force for a match that could dictate the odds of advancing to the knockouts of this World Cup.

The two teams went out taking shots at each other and testing the likes of Ancel and Yusenika with the attacking mindset both teams displayed. HUElavia came out with the patient build up, sending passes along the wings, while Aleirave came out with a blistering blitz on the attack, trying to have the HUElavian backline on the heels. The opening goal came in the 7th minute, when a pass from Kim got to Schmidt, who began to attack facing Tesuna'e, before passing to his left to Milano, who began to attack and press forward against Evatene, before doing a nutmeg to get past the defender before going one-on-one against a fast approaching Yusenika to chip the ball over her into the goal, making it 1-0. The HUElavian crowd jumped and cheered in joy for the goal while Milano did The Cross and did a dance in the corner flag with Kim and Schmidt before giving them and the rest of the team hugs and pats for the great play and goal. Aleirave would begin to attack more and more, pressuring HUElavia to take a more defensive stance towards their third of the pitch, blocking shots as well as the can, while Ancel would make saves and deflections from time to time, getting applause by the HUElavian supporters. In the 25th minute, a pass from Wahle intended to Kim was intercepted by Lifevaneka, who began to run and face off against Brandt before sending a pass to Noselela, who took a shot that hit the post, but fell to Veshchik, who hit the ball on a one-time past a flat-footed Ancel into the goal, making it 1-1. The Aleiravans present would jump with joy and passion for the goal while Veshchik was mobbed by their teammates for the goal, all while Coach Casillas would bark orders. Despite some chances from both teams, the half ended 1-1, with both teams wanting more and more out of the match.

The second half was seeing both teams exercise more caution, but still getting moments where they felt brave enough to take shots and test Ancel and Yusenika respectively. Attacks would come and go in waves, with both teams not wanting to concede anymore than they already had. In the 64th minute, a foul by Lehi'ona over Mantovani led way for a free kick from 32 meters out. Sol (in for Kim) would take the kick and it would loop over the players for Evatene to play Arruda onside and Arruda would give a one-time shot that deflected off Yusenika into the goal, making it 2-1. Arruda ran to the corner flag to celebrate with his teammates and the bench players warming up while the HUElavians jumped with passion and joy for the goal. Time ticked on and on, with Aleirave pushing more and more, making substitutions to help improve their play. In the 79th minute, a throw in taken by Na'eleru (in for Lehi'ona) would get to Noselela, who would curve a cross into the box, which Lifevaneka would tower over Fisch (in for Manco) to head the ball past a diving Ancel into the goal, making it 2-2. The Aleiravans would jump with joy and passion, as Lifevaneka was mobbed by her teammates and the bench for the goal. Both teams would take shots and pressuring more and more, looking to make the other team concede a late goal. In the 90+3rd minute, Llopis (in for Brandt) would get a tackle in against Pekole (in for Fuseraka) to send a ball to Schmidt, who began to run in the center, passing it to Serra (in for Mantovani), going against Tesuna'e, before giving a fake shot and then the actual one that curved past the fingertips of YusenikaYusenika into the corner of the goal, making it 3-2. The HUElavian crowd erupted, jumping and cheering loudly to make the stadium rumble while Serra was mobbed by her teammates and the bench for the goal. Once she was able to get up, she did the Cross and had tears on her face from scoring on her World Cup debut. After some more attacks by Aleirave, HUElavia held their ground and once the referee blew their whistle, the bench came out to the pitch to hug their teammates for the hard-fought victory.

The other Group I match saw co-hosts Squornshelan Remnant States survive a thrilling 4-3 match against The Martian Independent Republic. By basis of goals conceded, HUElavia leads Group I, followed by Squornshelan Remnant States, then Aleirave and finally The Martian Independent Republic. Coach Casillas was quoted post match saying "It was a difficult game, but the team was resilient to the conceded goals. Our offense was very great, I couldn't asked for better. The defense does need improvement, but we got all these days to train and study film for the next match. Even more so taking on co-hosts SRS, probably one of the most exciting matchups of this World Cup. I do want to stress at my team to play not with fear, but with respect. SRS is rightfully one of the best teams in the multiverse, but we know we can punch well above our skill and weight and I want them to make it a memorable night for our fans here and back home and wherever they may be in the Multiverse. We still hope to count on our fans showing up and making it feel more like home." Back in HUElavia, many watch parties saw the fans celebrate in the streets for the late goal and victory, with fans feeling very good with the team's play style and composure. SRS awaits us now, almost feeling like a date with destiny. But if there is a match to show how worthy HUElavia is to be among the very best in the Multiverse, it is this match. Here's to what can be a historic day in HUElavian Football.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[HOT-DAMN]

Stadion Ivo Balikov, Vlaikograd, Siovanija
Match 1 of World Cup 99: HOT-DAMN 4-2 Captina Island

You know, for all the preparation and planning, there still was going to be a little bit of nerves going into the biggest tournament in the multiverse. Ernie Stevenson had been here before. He had been here as an assistant coach for Hapilopper on multiple occasions. So you could forgive him if he was pacing nervously as time drew near for the match. It was a feeling that all of Hapilopper and all of HOT-DAMN were feeling. But it was a feeling that certainly would go away soon.

And it went away within minutes of the whistle blowing to start the match. It started when Zack Webster and Anthony Donis took the ball and started running it towards Captina Island’s goal and keeper Donatella Jaconelli. It seemed like the Beer Leaguers were going to make an early statement. Donis got hold of the ball and started to shimmy his way around Captina defenders, before he spotted Justin Cherry with an opening. Cherry got it and alley-ooped it toward goal. It flung past Jaconelli’s head and into the back of the net. And echoing the vibes that came with a previous Hapiloppian World Cup campaign, Cherry started to do a dance.

Sitting in a luxury box, William Mathis, head of the HOT-DAMN territory, perked up. This dance was exactly the same as the dance his son used to do when he played for Team Hapilopper. The Funky Parker. It was this dance, following Justin’s first goal of the proper, that set a message all over the multiverse. This was the Hapiloppian team. This was Hapilopper’s team. And they were going places. Any other team that claimed to be Hapilopper’s team just, well, wasn’t.

Seven minutes later, it was Cale Mallett’s turn. He fired one into the back of the net and decided he was going to do a Funky Parker of his own. With HOT-DAMN coming out to a 2-0 lead in the first 30 minutes of the match, the Hapiloppians were feeling good about themselves. And Ernie could breathe a little bit easier. The stress was starting to drop away. The fear that HOT-DAMN was going to get their asses kicked was settled – if only for a moment – as the atmosphere, the wild party atmosphere that the Hapiloppians were bringing to the Stadion Ivo Balikov, was too much for Ernie to be nervous in.

And while Patience Wedgewood sent one in the 48th minute, it still didn’t dull the Hapiloppian spirit. The Stadion Ivo Balikov was rocking and rolling in one of those scenes that resembled the glory days of Hapiloppian football – the fans jumping up and down, blasting drums, cheering and yelling – noise you’d expect to hear at Capital Stadium following an Ernie Stevenson goal or a bone-crushing Nathan Ellis hit. But this was HOT-DAMN, Hapilopper’s territory in Anaia, and this was the World Cup. And HOT-DAMN was kicking some ass. Goal three was coming.

It almost looked like Cale Mallett and Justin Cherry were plotting and scheming something to themselves. Standing near the Captina goal, placing bets on who would pay out what for the next goal.

“Case of beer if I score next,” Cale said. “Make that a Snap’s Gold Star. 30 Pack.”

“Aight, box of Danielas, 5-year aged, double corona,” Justin said. “Those are cigars, by the way. Just like the ones Ernie smokes.”

“OK, you’re on,” Cale replied as a smile came about his face. “We gonna get one.”

Cale didn’t get his Snap’s Beer and Justin didn’t get his Daniela cigars. Buckshot Belwood, the clumsy-ass, crash-prone HOT-DAMN midfielder, the HOT-DAMN version of Frank Colin Pinto, was rushing down the pitch with the ball, and running like hell from Captina defenders. He was looking more and more scared as he ran hard down the pitch toward the Captina goal.

“We might want to get out of the way,” Cale said.

“TAKE COVER!” Buckshot roared as he lost his footing. He slipped, got his footing back and kicked the ball as hard as he could.

It was an incredible sight. Cale and Justin dove out of the way. Buckshot tripped and started cannon-balling towards goal, one step behind the ball, which sailed past a diving Donatella Jaconelli. As Buckshot fumbled and stumbled up, he looked up in time to see the right post coming his way. Buckshot face-planted the post and went down to the turf. Sitting on the turf, Cale, Justin and Jaconelli looked at each other.

“How the HELL did he score that?” Cale asked.

“Beats me,” Justin responded. “That thing was a fuckin bullet, man.”

Cale and Justin walked over to Buckshot, who was now dealing with the effects of a broken nose, broken upon contact with the net.

“How the fuck did you do that, Belwood?” Cale asked.

“I, uh, don’t know,” Buckshot replied.

“You smoke cigars? Drink beer?” Cale asked as he reached out his hand to Buckshot’s.

“I guess… you want me to?” Buckshot asked.

“Well, you might get some in your locker after this ends, you won the bet. Me and Justin was betting who got what for the next goal and you came in and stole it from us. Deal’s a deal, Belwood,” Cale explained.

But Buckshot had a broken nose. When the final whistle blew, it was 4-2, HOT-DAMN had three points and led the group. Buckshot was in the clubhouse with several paper towels over his nose. With his broken nose, it was expected he’d sit out for the next match against Eastfield Lodge. Sitting near him in the clubhouse was Elwood Davis, who had sulked in the clubhouse the whole match.

Not long after the final whistle blew, the rest of the HOT-DAMN team whooped it up as they rampaged their way back to the clubhouse, having successfully taken three points in the first match of the World Cup group stage. It was the start they needed.

The next match, for sure, was going to be tough.

[Chromatika]

World Cup 99 Proper Matchday 1: Saterun 2-3 Chromatika
Goals: Xuen-Zhukov 24', Howard-Dawes 66', Prenn 88'
Starting XI: (3-4-1-2) - Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Lethbridge-Antonio, C. -> Jackson-Jones (59'), Lethbridge-Antonio, J. -> Fillar, B. (59'), Paterson -> Coulibaly (71'), Prenn -> Françine-Miklavivec (71'), Saburo -> Nodis (80')

---

Projected Lineups for World Cup 99 Proper Matchday 2
vs. (07) Kelssek @ Stadium of the Restoration, Busukuma, National Capitol Region, Banija
Starting XI: Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: GK Jessika Aniston, GK Jill Swanson, DCR Paisley Paterson, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, DCL Uemura Saburo, DC Samantha Han Cunningham, WBR Jacoliene Hauptmeijer, WBL Nemes Mátyás, WBL Róża Panaś, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, CDM Eden Gunsdorf, AM Maddie Prenn, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste, CF Harriet Baïe-Verte, AF Adélaide Bittencourt

COMEBACK!

Lethbridge-Antonio Twins, Prenn Lead Chromatika to Dramatic Comeback to Win for the First Time in Ten Games in the World Cup Proper

To say that the World Cup Proper has not been great for the Anomalies is an understatement. Since beating Quebec and Shingoryeo 4-3 in the first Matchday of the World Cup Proper in World Cup 96 Matchday 1, Chromatika has gone winless in the last nine matches - including going 0-0-3 in World Cup 97, 0-3-0 in World Cup 98 (they lost in the Round of 32), and losing the latter two games in World Cup 96 to crash out of the Group Stage.

So, when this team went into Banija, knowing that they were taking on fourth seeds Saterun in the first game of the World Cup Proper, there was absolutely no looking over their opposition. With Alina Khabibullina's job on the line - she's been told she needs to get at least four points in the World Cup Proper or make the Round of Sixteen - getting three off of the last seeded team was paramount - not just for the points but also for the momentum.

The crowd was split down the middle. Though there are ties between Chromatiks and Banijans politically, there is no denying that Istria has no love lost with Chromatika due to the rivalry against Mountain District University. There were some Banijans present who couldn't care less about collegiate gridiron, but for a stadium in a political ally, there were quite a few fans of Saterun present.

It was those fans that had the first reason to celebrate. In the eighteenth minute, Hans-Jürgen Becker found Cesar Ibañez - that same Ibañez that is playing in Tihon United in the Red League - and Ibañez made short work of Eileen Jackson-Jones, splitting between the would-be defender and Ami Coulibaly to neatly slot the ball past Hailee Sourtois, who sold out a little too far in trying to meet him. Thankfully, the Anomalies would return the favor just six minutes later, when Grayson Fillar and Edith Fillar played up the wings along with their sister Baillaire to set up Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov on a gorgeous chip shot that left Ralf Abiatti stranded. One-one. Game on.

Three minutes before halftime, it would be Saterun that would go ahead. Glenn Lundquist was fouled at the edge of the box - a nice, hard foul by Alija Mesic-Mizayaki - and that would be all that he would need, as he buried a free kick to the left upper corner of the net that Sourtois couldn't reach. Chromatika went into halftime a goal down - with the ghosts of the past losses haunting them.

This time, though, they had Alina Khabibullina. The Pyazhnayan Manager, as she had done many times in the Qualifying cycle, pulled the plug. Fifty-nine minutes in, Eileen Jackson-Jones and Baillaire Fillar were pulled for the Lethbridge-Antonio twins - Claudia providing her physicality and Jayla providing her no-nonsense nature, the team switching to be more defensive with two holding midfielders. Almost immediately, the young, fresh legs started to put pressure on the Saterun players as they crossed midfield, and a missed pass set up Evin, who got the ball to Elaine Howard-Dawes, the striker knifing the ball into the right lower part of the net to equalize.

With the Lethbridge-Antonio twins in the mix, the Chromatik defense clamped down; then, Khabibullina decided to give Maddie Prenn a shot in the seventy-first minute. Prenn is the future at Attacking Midfielder, and when used as a late-game sub, her small stature is made up by her speed and athleticism. By this time, Saterun was just holding on, as every time they crossed midfield, they were being stymied by a rejuvenated backfield that was swarming to the ball.

Enter the eighty-eighth minute. Saterun looked like they were going to be okay with getting a point - the Anomalies were the second seeds, after all, and with the playoffs being played with thirty-two teams, a point would be fine in their stead. Chromatika had other thoughts. Wave after wave, Prenn and the Wingers pushed the ball forward to the front two, trusting in Jayla and Alija to help the back three. In one such run, Lavrentiy was fouled by Abbas Alil, a necessary one just outside the box as the striker was going for his brace.

With Baillaire out, it was Evin that went to take the kick. Left-footed, the shot was angled and tricky. Ralf Abiatti, to his credit, punched the ball away - just for Maddie Prenn, the young twenty-three year old playing for a local club in Istria City FC, to get the rebound and tape it in unceremoniously. It wasn't the prettiest looking goal, but it was absolutely a needed one - as they held on to preserve the win, their first win in the World Cup Proper in the last ten games.

"I trust in everyone that we have on this team," explained Khabibullina about her philosophy, "Especially the Lethbridge-Antonio twins - they know how to play with each other and provide such intensity. Add in someone like Maddie, and there is no reason why I shouldn't need them, especially with fresh legs."

Chromatika next heads to the Capital of Banija to take on top seeds Kelssek - who were surprisingly taken down by Doubeia in the first Matchday. Here, they should absolutely have the home crowd support - but Lavrentiy is hearing none of it.

"They (Kelssek) are going to be very hungry to get back to winning," commented the star striker, "We're going to get their best shot, and we're going to have to be ready for them. Every game is a way for us to continue to improve, so we've got our work cut out for us."

To have the flexibility of using the Lethbridge-Antonio twins and Prenn off the bench is what gives this Anomalies team a chance to win in this World Cup - and with Khabibullina being one point away from a two-cycle extension of her contract, the team will be ready to compete once again.

"We finally got the monkey off our backs, but we're just getting started," Lavrentiy concluded at the end of his press conference.

Chromatika moves onward, knowing that they actually can win in the World Cup Proper.

[Siovanija and Teusland]

Trouble in Paradise

Part I

Serdar Buranov looked out the window of his office of the Club Dolphin in downtown Vrnovo.

Below him, hundreds of people danced the night away to the latest hit music, drank plenty of alcohol, and partied at the beachfront club that was one of the city’s most luxurious.

Few of the revellers would’ve recognized the man impeccably dressed in a 3-piece T15,000 suit, wearing a T9500 watch on his arm. Hair slicked back, and just turned 35 last month, Buranov would fit in easily with the crowd. But in reality, he was the man who owned the place - and many, many more in this city. He was the leader of Vrnovo’s biggest organized crime group, the Buranov family.

Vrnovo is Siovanija & Teusland’s most popular vacation destination, its tropical paradise in the south. The west coast of the island had resorts for families and couples, the east coast and the city was the centre of nightlife in the entire country. The strip of land along Vrnovo’s beach was jokingly referred to as the nation’s ‘most sinful mile,’ and if you had enough money, any vice you could think of was available here. Alcohol, gambling, narcotics, prostitution - it was all readily available here. Serdar Buranov and his family controlled a good 65% of it, according to the local Vrnovo Police reporting.

Organized crime in Vrnovo originally grew out of the development of the city itself in the early 1950s. Vrnovo was, for quite a long time, an afterthought in most of Siovanija and Teusland - too far away to be developed properly, and culturally quite different from the rest of the nation. The advent of commercial air travel made it the closest tropical destination for travellers from the country, and cheap flight deals ensured that plenty of people were able to visit. Crime gangs which had been forced out of the mainland found a bit of a ‘Wild West’ here, and when gambling was legalized in the city in 1957, they scrambled to build empires. Over the years, their illicit portfolios grew and grew, restaurants and clubs and hotels all coming under the control of these groups. Serdar’s great-grandfather opened a club in 1971, and the Buranov name quickly established itself in the city.

The early decades were bloody as rival factions fought for power - and as the government tried to crack down. The original generation had mostly been wiped out, either through targeted hits or arrests. Serdar’s grandfather Anatoli, however, was a survivor - literally, having been shot twice and living by the skin of his teeth both times. He expanded the family business into the second largest on the island before his death, and when Serdar’s father Vojislav took over, he decided to make a decisive strike. The largest crime family in Vrnovo since the earliest day had always been the Orlovs - and Vojislav Buranov directly targeted them in a war that turned the Buranovs into the unstoppable main force of Vrnovo, and knocked the Orlovs off their perch.

Growing up in his father’s shadow had been difficult for Serdar. He was 10 years old when the war ended, and spent most of his teenage and young adult years indulging himself in all those vices we’d covered earlier. That disappointed his father. “What I built, you will throw away,” he’d often say.

If only he could see me now, Serdar thought.

The old man died when Serdar was 27. Cancer - one of the few in this world who got to go out at home surrounded by his family. Serdar immediately became the new boss, and almost overnight transformed himself. Within a year he was married with a child, and proved that the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree after all by dealing decisively with a bit of a power struggle within the family. He tightened the family group on the entertainment industry in Vrnovo, and during isolation managed to pull off the biggest coup in the history of Vrnovo organized crime.

Serdar had first been introduced to former Chancellor Ruslan Karamov when he was just a 19 year old party boy, and when Karamov was just a Member of Parliament. “He owes me a few favours,” Serdar’s father would say. When Vojislav died, Karamov was one of the first to call Serdar. Serdar knew all the details of Karamov’s corruption - it was Buranov family lawyers that helped him plan it all. When Karamov needed business taken care of, Serdar was on speed dial. And when the government invested in a project to develop a new block of hotels on the island, encouraging domestic travel during isolation, Karamov ensured that companies owned by the Buranov family were given the contracts to build them and that Serdar himself - through a shell company of course - would be one of the owners. That wasn’t, of course, public knowledge - but it cemented Serdar as a man of great power. The untouchable boss of Vrnovo.

Even though Karamov had fallen from power, Buranov still retained control. There’d been a bit of a boom in Vrnovo in recent years, with international tourism opening up once again and more and more visitors coming to the island. Bars were packed nightly, hotels sold out almost every night in the summer season, and of course all of the illegal activities found willing participants. Cash rolled in, enough for Serdar to buy a second boat and put a new wing on his mansion that overlooked the city. There was peace, too - albeit uneasy - with the Orlovs and the other smaller groups in the city. As long as the money kept rolling in, why cause problems?

Serdar glanced down at his watch. 2:55am. The lights would come on and the club would close in 5 minutes, sending the last of the revellers to finish the evening on the beach or find their way home. He’d be back here in the morning for a meeting, in fact, with the Orlovs. In 2 weeks, the World Cup was coming to Vrnovo. The families had decided to meet to discuss their strategy, given the increased attention from authorities on their activities that could come about while it was ongoing. For now, Serdar just wanted to get home. He took the private elevator down to the garage level, where his trusted driver Bojan was already waiting behind the wheel.

“Did you have a good evening, boss?”

“Lots of meetings, Bojan. As always.”

“You should enjoy yourself more, like we used to do!”

Serdar smiled at his longtime friend. “Those days are over for me, Bojan. You should start a family, like me!”

“Me? Never!”

The slick back TMW car drove out into the Vrnovo night, racing through deserted streets on its way to the cliffs above the city where Serdar Buranov’s home was. His gated community was populated by musicians, retired athletes, movie stars - the sort of prestige he tried to give off. They knew him as their generous neighbour, without knowing the blood he’d spilled to get his wealth.

But that was all about to change.

Passing the guard post, Bojan parked the car at the front door before heading to park it in the garage. The house was guarded by Buranov soldiers 24/7, and Serdar greeted them as he walked into the front door. Serdar threw his suit jacket onto the front table, climbed up the stairs, and entered the master bedroom. His wife already lay asleep in bed, and carefully so as not to wake her, he opened the blinds to look out over the city once more. His city. All the lights were off - but out of the corner of his eye, he saw one. One that shouldn’t have been there.

He heard it before he saw it.

On pure instinct alone, Buranov dropped to the ground as machine gun fire opened up on his window. The glass was broken and shards fell everywhere as hundreds of bullets danced into his room. He crawled across the floor to pull his wife, screaming and crying at this sudden awakening, out of bed and onto the floor with him. He remained hidden behind the bed for what felt like hours but was really about 45 seconds. His arms were bleeding profusely from the glass he’d crawled over - but he hadn’t been hit.

Just like his grandfather, Serdar was a survivor.

Suddenly, Bojan burst into the room. “Boss? Boss?”

“We’re alright, Bojan”

“Thank fuck. You don’t have to worry, the boys outside took care of them.”

“Bojan, I’m a little fuckin’ worried.” How could he not be? He held his wife, Marijana, as she cried.

Serdar looked at his old friend, his white shirt stained with blood and a fire in his eyes. “Whoever did this is going to suffer.”

World Cup 99 - Matchday 1

Siovanija & Teusland 3-4 Baker Park
Nationalstadion, Stelburg

XI: Kranz; Schwefel (Wimmer 65’), Steinhausl (Wind 80’), Apel, Reichenbach; Gruber, Winter, Le Meji; Korlikov (Weber 65’), A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl
Goals: Einar Hackl 25’, Xorge Le Meji 52’, Josef Weber 74’

XI vs Drawkland: Kranz; Schwefel, Sanner, Apel, Mesko; Porsche, Winter, Le Meji; Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl

[Valanora]

Valanora Times
Punch and Counterpunch

Heading into this group with a trio of teams that look to play a defensive first style of game, the Marauders knew that they were going to be up against it, though they believed the hardest part of the challenge was not on the defensive end but rather on solving the puzzle of the opposition tactics. After the first matchday in the group though, that evaluation may need a relook after both of the games in the group ended in a three to two victory, fortunately our squad coming up the better of the five goal thriller in our match. For teams who are supposed to be steady at the back, that all three of them conceded two goals or more does provide a bit of hope for the Marauders that solving their defensive setup will not be quite as daunting as initially lead to believe, though their offensive output in the first game including our own where the most defensive of them still put two past our own reasonable defense raises a few other questions. The improved quality at defense and at the goalkeeping position is supposed to be one of the reasons this team is above the other over thirty iterations of the team to try to win the next title since the last time the Marauders lifted that trophy at the end of the tournament.

The game started off reasonably well for the team, controlling possession and the pace of play like most expected that they would, probing the back line with a variety of through balls, crosses, and lobs up top to try and see what the Obaman defense had the most trouble with. Marauding down the left was not working out with the pace of their leftback while going through the middle was not proving effective either with the dangerous tackles of their centerback, though the right was providing some success even if the final product was constantly being intercepted and cleared. It was on one of this ventures down the right that Aya Haukås pass towards Haaland was cut out and thrown forward, Fred Olibama collected and was past the pushed forward backline with a direct route on goal. Though Propst got a hand to the shot, he couldn't push it past the post and instead saw it caress the side netting, the fourth seeds having a lead just past the half hour mark. Three minutes later though Haaland was lining up a penalty after Bark Obamallama took down Lucas Winkel cutting into the box and the Turkish striker easily slotted it past the Dwayne Obama, who was slow to dive.

Level at the break, both sides likely figured that they needed just another goal to be able to grab all three points from the first match and have a foot into the door of the knockouts with the expanded knockout field now seeing its third iteration. That breakthrough came in the fifty-second minute as Hawk took a pass from Winkel and one touched it forward towards the darting run of Haaland, who bypassed an attempted slide tackle and then beat the keeper near post with a low, hard driven shot retake the lead. They perhaps should have been content to hold the goal advantage but instead were pressing hard for a third and decisive goal with a poor touch sent pacy Jenny Barracki up the left hand side and her pass into the box was met with Fred Olibama, the striker beating Propst to his far post for a second goal for himself and tying the game back up with eighteen minutes left on the clock. It was too much time left for a side as talented as the Marauders as Hawk would go on a sleek individual run after chesting down a clearance, making two defenders miss before blazing one between the keeper's feet in the eighty-fourth minute to once again take the lead.

It would be a lead that the Marauders would not surrender as they learned from their mistake from just after the half time break and instead sat on the ball and kept their opponents from getting another sniff of an opportunity. While far from their most visually pleasing or tactically sound performance, the side still manage to wrestle all three points away from a stout challenge from the group's second seed, navigating what is on paper the most difficult game of the group. While Ellzidan is not going to be pleased with how it all played out, particularly with the way the midfield and defense dealt with counterattack from the Obaman squad, three points is still three points and the memory of how hard they have been to come by in the last Finals and ARC will keep her from being too critical of her charges as they get ready for the next match. It was a game this time where the team's best players did end up playing like their best players in the key moments with Haaland getting a brace, Hawk getting a goal and assists, and Winkel picking up an assist in drawing the penalty that resulted in the Marauder's opening goal to fire them back into the match at a crucial time.

Now the side goes from the most difficult team in the group to the perceived easiest team in the group and on paper one of the weakest sides to make the Finals field of forty-eight in the form Osterhalten. They will be a desperate group as they lost their opening fixture to Aphrilia, a team that their own media described as their most likely side to pull points off of in what has to be quite the dread filled group for them. Desperation makes teams dangerous, particularly fourth seeds who come into the tournament with very little expected of them and do not have the weight of expectations burdening them or held over them like a blade ready to fall at a moments notice. Some tactical tweaking is likely to unfold for the Marauders as they look to shore up their defense and they way they process the change in possession, we might see Julia Strömberg playing a bit more withdrawn and not on the coattails of Hawk in the attack. A win secures passage into the knockouts and will relieve some additional pressure heading into the Final game, be afforded the luxury of resting players, something that is quite useful in these sort of tournaments if you wish to go on long runs.

[Kelssek]

mer., 25.06.202
ensoleillé, 19/32

NO ANSWERS
Kelssek suffers shocking loss in World Cup opener

This is not a moment that Kaiden Pépin, or anyone in a Kelssek shirt, will want to have as the defining point of their international career. That, at least, is some consolation for fans left stunned by the 3-0 loss against Doubeia that opened Kelssek’s World Cup 99 tournament. Perhaps they can bounce back from this and win their next two matches, which remains entirely possible. If so, the horror that unfolded in Sisonke could yet be banised as a bad dream. Anything less and the definitive judgment on these players is bound to be a group who were just not good enough, a crop that failed to measure up to the exploits of the generation before.

The post-match press conference featured a blunt question to Kelssek manager Obey Chidiebere: why did your team lose the game? “Many things went wrong”, he answered, keen to show he still had a grip on the situation. “These players are capable of much more and we are going to move foward focused on winning the next two matches.”

Kelssek were expected to come out assertively and were nearly rewarded when Sofie Mylonakis rang the crossbar from the edge of the penalty box in the 13th minute. Doubeia steadied themselves, however, and closed ranks defensively after that early scare. This was, in retrospect, where the trouble started; Kelssek’s players seemed to think they’d get the lead eventually and neglected to put in the work needed to make that happen. Having plenty of possession but accomplishing little the rest of the first half, many grumbling fans were seen heading for the beer taps and snack bar early.

Chidiebere opted to stick with his starting eleven but not for long. A bold move was hauling off captain Kaiden Pépin ten minutes into the second half, albeit it did seem a niggling injury was a factor in that, and injecting some pace and attacking flair also taking off Ella Moore and sending on Sammy Mao and Alberto Rendon. This didn’t have the desired effect.

Doubeia had been content to sit back but when they started to press the issue, things unravelled quickly for Kelssek. Carmen Alfieri had the pace to beat Jérôme Nyhof to a long ball, and the danger seemed minimal as Julian Umanov received the pass outside the box closely attended to by two Kelssek players. But Maxime Carrieri seemed to react late when he squeezed the shot through the legs of the defenders, and the goalkeeper was left stranded as the ball found the net for the opening goal.

Perhaps in the siuation, with their captain sitting dejectedly on the bench, his legs bristling with ice packs, the deflation was psychological as much as anything. Kelssek’s effort sagged alarmingly in the next few minutes. Lionel an Deòir became visibly frustrated as the ball never seemed to get anywhere near him, and a midfield that on paper looks full of creativity was reduced to spraying balls mindlessly upfield. The flanks were again a weakness for Kelssek as Benedetta Marin cut inside from the left wing and fired a spectacular finish inside the far post. They had conceded twice in eight minutes and were showing no signs of life. Umanov would add a coup de grâce in stoppage time, another lapse for Kelssek which could well prove costly.

They have a massive task ahead of them, admitted Titan Pogbacar after the match. “We need to put this behind us, and the way to do that is to absolutely take control and win the next two games.”

DOUBEIA 3 Umanov (61’, 90+2’), Marin (67’)
KELSSEK 0
Carrieri, Sauvé, Lalande, Vergland, Nyhof (Casiraghi 74’), Pépin (Rendon 55’), Pogbacar, Obident, Mylonakis (de Landa 64’), Moore (Mao 55’), an Deòir (Cutter 74’)
Sisonke Stadium, Sisonke (attendance 43,244)

[Pasarga]

The Wanderers missed a golden opportunity to take the group by storm and a chance to win against Kamijoro on the first matchday in Group C, allowing the opposition to score twice in past the eightieth minute and losing a two goal lead and the full collection of points as a result. Fortunately for the Wanderers, it is not the end of the world as thanks to both the expanded knockout stage of the competition as well as the other match in the group finishing in a goalless draw, meaning all four teams are still level on points through the first round of games. What it does mean is that the margin for error for Thor and the squad has basically vanished in this Group of Death and they now have the mighty task of getting at least one win from either Juevencus, the group's top seed, or Zwangzug, a historically very strong team who has been mentioned in media in vastly overplaying their ranking and actually were the best team in qualifiers in the group. It is a bit of a daunting task but allowing the lead to slip away late to the group's third seeds when a win could have relieved quite a bit of pressure has consequences.

The takeways from the game if you are a fan of the team, Járngrímur is as good as advertised and had a goal and an assist in the game, showcasing why he has been one of the most prolific scorers in the SuperLiga over the last few seasons. With the Graintfjall born striker at top, it seems fair to say that the Wanderers are going to be able to score on just about anyone, as long as the service into the striker is decent. We have seen in this qualifying cycle the strikers getting frozen out of the game because the midfield failed to give good service to them and based on the goals per shot ratio of the strikers, it is probably the best way to try and slow down the Pasargan attack at this time. Bogdan Laszlo got the other goal for the squad, scoring off a nice pass from his partner striker that caught the keeper out of position for what was essentially a tap in from seven yards out in front of the goal mouth. If Laszlo can get back into club form, then it takes a lot of pressure off of Járngrímur to be the focus of the attack and will keep the defense guessing on who to prioritize with their marking. Two offensive outlets will always be better than one, while a third would be a bit of a game changer but the legs of Asztrik Biró are not what they used to be while Pista Benedek and Zágon Schmid are more playmakers than goalscorers.

On the downside, the team allowed their focus and concentration to slip up late and as a result lost a critical two points from a would be victory, a victory that very much would have been well welcomed in what is a very difficult group. The defense had been quite present and good at disrupting the opposition attacks for the first seventy-five minutes of the game and really showed a bit of fight and bite to their game that had been missing during stretches of the qualifiers. Yet in that last quarter hour they just seemed to let up a little bit as Kamijoro started piling on the pressure to get a late push and unfortunately that late pushed arrived with goals in the eighty-first and eighty-seventh minute by Sōji Kokubun and Darren Williams respectively, the latter being a second half substitute. Those late two goals really took the wind out of the sails of the Wanderers and the twenty-five thousand or so Pasargans who had been in attendance went from singing in celebration to stunned silence, full well knowing that the team now had the difficult task ahead of them of winning at least one game.

Now that the pressure is on, the Wanderers will need to do to Juvencus that which has been done to them for much of this campaign and pull off an upset against the odds. Those of you who are accustomed to watching Farfadillis style of football will know exactly the sort of tactics that Juvencus is going to employ, or for the historians out there it will resemble the System Takil that Bettia made famous during their dominant stretch during the 30 editions of the World Cup. Those ancient and attacking arts have prevailed through to today through the likes of Farfadillis and The Holy Empire and it is going to put a lot of pressure on the Pasargan backline, a backline that is on the older side and not likely to be able to run at pace with their opponents. Borsala Takácz will have her work cut out for her to provide the screening action for the defense and try to disrupt anything that is coming up the middle, though the Juevencus side likes to play out wide with their midfield and attack. The wingers are likely going to be asked to provide support to help give the fullbacks a bit of a lift, which means Schmid will need to be able to play outlet and facilitator for the attack. Should the team be able to endure and escape the wide pressure, it should provide opportunity through the middle and at the back for the team to apply their own pressure to an overly stretched defense lacking any sort of screening in the middle of the park, which could be the key for a much needed victory and passage into the knockouts.

[Juvencus]

OOC: Not planning to RP this too extensively or too collaboratively. HOWEVER, this is the collaborative part of the RP. If your leaders would like to attend or extend their condolences to the Juven nation they are more than welcome to do so. This is crossing the boundaries of the World Cup and RPs about this event are welcome in other competitions as well, but please let me know by TGing me or messaging on discord.

Il Scudelliano is under new management, one that presents the news about la squadra as it should instead of being a third party newspaper that supports the team only when it wants, and will remain that way until further notice

HIS HOLY MAJESTY NICOLA II DEAD AGED 100 - ENTIRE NATION MOURNS THE LOSS OF ITS BEST LEADER

MEDICAL REASONS PUBLICLY DISCLOSED: His Holy Majesty collapsed after giving an important speech on interdimensional and multiversal travel and the portals necessary for such. While the medical reasons were initially unclear and not known by the public, it has come by direct announcement of His Highness, Prince Gianpaolo that the cause of death was a massive ischemic stroke. Despite the necessary efforts of the medical staff, it was announced that His Holy Majesty, Nicola II was dead on the spot and there was nothing to do to reverse such a situation.

7 DAYS OF PUBLIC MOURNING ANNOUNCED: In that same announcement, His Highness, Prince Gianpaolo has declared a 7-day mourning phase in which the body of the Holy Emperor will lie in state so that the people of the nation will pay their respects. Code: Angel of the East is in full-swing. Juven flags in all public institutions in the nation as well as embassies, consulates and even ships all fly in half-mast to signify the loss of the Holy Emperor.

FUNERAL DETAILS: Expressing his desires to be buried away from other royal figures(owing to his more drastic changes), the body of His Holy Majesty, Nicola II is to be interred in the War Heroes' Cemetery in Trata, on the outskirts of the Pomena. The funeral service is to be held at Nuova Ecclesia di San Marco, the historical rebuilt Cathedral situated in Pomena and preceded by the Cardinal Gennaro Agustini. In His Highness' announcement, an invitation to world leaders was extended, especially those with direct contact to the Juven Holy Empire.

---

PROMISE TO THE HOLY EMPEROR GIVEN BY GAETAN FOLLOWING ZWANGZUG GOALLESS-DRAW ON WORLD CUP OPENER

LACK OF CONVERSION: A team full of zest and desire to win entered the pitch against Zwangzug. Time and time again they would pressure against their opponents but through the entirety of the game, a lack of clinical finishing has been the team's worst enemy. It has been the team's enemy since the beginning of the qualifiers, with a Joao Peres rocket hitting the left side of Coogan-Blacknell's post being the highlight of the game.

PATIENCE AT AN ALL-TIME LOW: Fans situated in Molin Park did not fail to hide their disdain by the lack of good performances when it matters on the big stage. A massive tifo with Gaetan dropping from his chair was indicated at the stands, indicating the disdain for his recent performances, especially against teams la squadra should comfortably beat and are ranked much, much lower.

GAETAN PROMISING PERFORMANCES ON THE HOLY EMPEROR'S NAME: Gael Gaetan in a last ditch effort to sway the support of the fanbase has delivered a bomb on live television. A promise on the recently-diseased Holy Emperor, His Holy Majesty Nicola II's name, stating:

"Maybe there were distractions here and there in our performances all throughout this cycle and a few hiccups. I take full accountability for those but I also give you this. The performances against the coming opposition will be tougher, stronger and we will deliver more victories. We will do it for the nation in the times of need and most of all, for our Holy Emperor. We will fix the errors and make you all proud."

With Pasarga and Kamijiro in the horizon, la squadra's situation is dire. But with the right decisions, everything is possible and a reversal of fate could happen, as well as a deep run for the ages right before World Cup 100, for the success of the Project.

[Tikariot]

Chapter 1: Welcome to Sugar Creek
Chapter 2: Cupcake Awakening
Chapter 3: Death by Dessert
Chapter 4: Sugar-Crazed Carnage
Chapter 5: The Sweet Survivors
Chapter 6: The Anti-Cupcake Plan
Chapter 7: Into the Cupcake Nest
Chapter 8: Bake or Die
Chapter 9: Frostbite Frenzy
Chapter 10: The Queen Rises

Chapter 11: Final Recipe

Inside the wreckage of Sweet Delights, the walls groaned under the strain of frosting-glued barricades. The oven had long since been reduced to a smoldering relic, and what had once been a charming bakery now looked like a frosted war zone. The team had taken refuge inside, surrounded by scattered cookware, broken display cases, and a slowly rising tide of caramel sludge.

Doug slammed the *Dark Arts of Confectionary* onto the countertop, brushing off bits of broken fondant and charred parchment. "Okay! We need one last miracle," he said, his voice high-pitched with urgency. "The Anti-Cupcake Cake. It's the only thing that can neutralize the Queen."

Lucy, half-covered in cinnamon dust and still clutching a whisk like a dagger, leaned over the book. "What’s the recipe say?"

Doug scanned the page. "We need: black cocoa, whipped fear cream, the bitters of despair, sodium bicarbonate, and... oh no... Fire Frosting."

"We have Fire Frosting," Gwyneth reminded them, nodding toward the cauldron sealed with vegan-grade enchanted foil. It glowed ominously, pulsing with unspent energy.

"Right. Good," Doug muttered. "Just... don’t touch it until we’re ready. That stuff is hotter than a microwave burrito at midnight."

The team scattered to scavenge the rest of the ingredients. Lucy found the bitters of despair in a cracked mason jar marked with a sticker: *"Do Not Consume. Seriously. Sadness."* Bob unearthed the sodium bicarbonate beneath a collapsed shelf of novelty cookie cutters.

"Found your cocoa!" Crumble shouted, waving a mostly-intact tin. "Also found a rat the size of a Yorkshire Terrier. Might’ve eaten some sugar."

"We’ll put it on the list," Doug said, flipping bowls and gathering flour. He glanced at Lucy just in time to see her reaching for the salt jar. "NO! That’s salt again!"

Lucy flinched, dropping it. "Third time’s the charm?"

Tensions simmered. Doug and Gwyneth began snapping at each other over the frosting-to-flour ratio.

"You’re overloading it! Too much sweet, it’ll collapse under its own saccharine weight!"

"It needs a binder! You wouldn't know structural integrity if it hit you with a baguette!"

"I literally wrote a dissertation on gluten networks!"

"Nobody cares, Doug!"

Crumble slammed a spatula into the mixing bowl. "I swear on my bug bombs, I will personally bake each of you into cupcakes if you don’t pull it together!"

Lucy, covered in batter, raised two sticky mitts and smacked both Doug and Gwyneth on the cheeks. "Enough! You are grown adults. This is not the time for a ganache grudge match."

The room went quiet. Doug wiped his cheek. Gwyneth blinked. They nodded and resumed mixing.

Together, they stirred the bitters, folded in the whipped fear cream, and carefully poured the stabilized Fire Frosting into the batter. The cauldron hissed and spat, the frosting reacting like a live volcano. Gwyneth whispered calming affirmations in Latin. Or maybe it was just angry vegan mantras.

"Baking time!" Doug shouted.

He rushed to the old bakery oven, a crusty beast that had somehow survived the chaos. Doug began carving ancient sigils into the doorframe with a fondue fork dipped in icing ink. Lucy lit the pilot with the pastry torch. The oven rumbled to life, its innards glowing.

Crumble and Bob stood watch at the barricade, using broomsticks and fry baskets to beat back the occasional rogue cupcake that managed to sneak in.

"What’s that smell?" Bob asked. "It’s like... hope. And terror."

Doug gently slid the Anti-Cupcake Cake into the oven. It let out a satisfying sizzle.

Then the wall exploded.

Bricks, beams, and a shower of powdered sugar filled the air. The team dove for cover. Where the back wall once stood was now a smoking crater—and in its place towered a grotesque nightmare of confectionary horror.

The Supreme Cupcake.

It had a molten caramel face that oozed with malevolence, a red velvet core pulsing like a heart, and a flaming frosting mohawk that shimmered with every vile color of the sugar spectrum. Twin cherries glared down like demon eyes. It was easily the size of a small truck.

Doug stared in horror. "I think... it found us."

Bob tried to lift his revolver, but the heat from the beast singed his mustache and sent him stumbling back. The cupcake let out a roar that sounded like the unholy union of a mixer on high and a microwave popcorn bag exploding.

Lucy took a defensive stance, batter dripping from her elbows. Gwyneth instinctively covered the Fire Frosting cauldron.

The oven behind them dinged.

"It’s ready," Doug whispered.

The team turned toward the cake—and then back at the Supreme Cupcake, which had started moving, caramel limbs dripping with menace.

"Time to bake or be baked," Crumble said, grabbing a frosting knife.

The final showdown had begun.

[Vdara]

Several more hours of discussions in Parliament House had allowed for some form of a compromise to be reached between the leaders of the three parties. Naturally, the leader of centre-right GTA did not take kindly to the suggestions that he be either the Deputy Deputy President or the Assistant to the Deputy President, but begrudgingly accepted the title of Deputy Vice President. The distribution of ministries was also contentious, but with enough staplers thrown and nonsense positions created, further agreement was made. Somehow, three parties with two diametrically opposed to each other had managed to compromise. Fucking hallelujah. An overview of the Ministries can be seen below:

President - Charalambos Romanatos (S)
Deputy President and Minister of Labour - Natalia Demetria (KKV)
Deputy Vice President and Minister of Agriculture - Philippos Spiterides (GTA)
Minister of Transport - Kiriakos Marinelis (KKV)
Minister of the Economy, Finance, and all things Monetary - Nikolaos Burilis (S)
Minister of Defence - Venizelos Chaconopoulos (KKV)
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Markos Laskaridis (S)
Minister of Education - Mairi Miskea (S)
Minister of Culture, Sport, and Entertainment - Kaiti Spereli (KKV)
Minister of Health - Ariadni Constantinakou (S)
Minister of the Environment, Net Zero, and Energy - Selene Pardeli (KKV)
Minister of Justice - Angelina Dimide (GTA)
Minister of Digital Security and Online Integration - Markos Christodoulidis (GTA)
Minister of Immigration, Asylum, and Tourism - Yiorgos Mellatos (S)
Minister of Anaian Affairs - Aphrodite Metropoulou (S)
Minister of Ministers - Katerina Architzi (GTA)
Minister of Oversized Cabinets - Marietta Martea (KKV)
Minister of Margaret - Yiannis Procopieas (GTA)

S - 7 Ministries
KKV - 6 Ministries
GTA - 5 Ministries

This way, GTA could try and make out that they were not "ceding power to the leftists", but "keeping them in check whilst maintaining important positions within the country". They knew fine well that this probably wouldn't be believed whatsoever, but they were going to try. The Social Democrats were perfectly satisfied with this agreement, keeping most government positions as the largest and dominant party, whilst the KKV were delighted to maintain all their ministries as well as Transport in particular, in order to continue their promise of subsidised public transport for the youth and elderly. However, with their membership still staunchly anti-compromise and anti-right wing (as one should expect of a communist party), Demetria took it upon herself to take this agreement to a vote amongst her party's members, in order to have some form of a mandate.

KKV Party Conference
Irakleio, Vdara

Rumours of the KKV not only engaging in, but agreeing to a coalition with GTA had sent shockwaves around the nation. Nevertheless, after a long time in the electoral doldrums, the KKV's committed members clapped Demetria onto the stage as if she was a pop star - which, if you looked at the large numbers of youth members and her stunning red dress, you could probably believe was the case. The screen behind her flicked through images which had been prominent throughout the KKV's campaign: dilapidated housing, graffitied trains and buses, and library closures. Despite having been involved in the previous coalition, they suggested that having a larger role in the government would enable them to fix such issues - how true that was, who knows. Nevertheless, Natalia strolled to the lectern that was set out for her, adorned with red and gold. She smiled as the applause began to die down, allowing her to speak.

"Comrades, what a pleasure it is to finally stand in front of you all as the leader of the second largest party in the country. This is a moment that a lot of us have been waiting for for a long, long time, and I hope it shall continue for an even longer time. We have enjoyed being a part of coalitions for the best part of several decades but, as the last one showed, for too long we have been constricted by parties contrarian to our party's values and the nation's values as a whole. Let me assure you here and now - this will not be the case for the next few years."

An applause rang out across the conference hall as Natalia shifted her focus towards the party's vision for government.

"Now, with the mandate that you, the people, have provided us with, we aim to take this country forward in ways we have been unable to do for decades. We will keep this nation's public transport subsidised - free for the youth, free for the elderly, consistently on time, constant service. We will continue this nation's path towards net zero, and lower energy prices for everyone, everywhere. We will ensure that our nation's sporting culture remains a key focus of this government, providing more routes into grassroots football and rugby and increasing government upkeep of stadiums. Perhaps most importantly, we pledge to increase the national minimum wage, to increase national pension contributions, and to make Vdara an even better place for all of us. Comrades, with the help of the Sosialdimokrátes and Gia Tous Anthrópous, we can and will bring this country into the 21st century."

The crowd applauded, albeit a bit hesitantly at the mention of opposition party GTA.

"I know that many of you will be apprehensive at the prospect of working with such a party, particularly one we have spent so long in contentious relations with. Rest assured, you will all have your say on any potential agreement with a members' vote later on, but you have my word that Spiterides will work together with President Romanatos and myself to create a more liveable, more productive, happier Vdara. Spiterides has rejected the pressures from the far right, and indeed pressures from his own party, to coalesce for the greater good. I hope that you will see this and vote in favour of the coalition."

The crowd applauded once more, yet further still hesitantly. For several years, GTA had been the only real opposition party to the KKV, and for a longer period of time they opposed the ruling Social Democrat-KKV coalition. For many members, they were not to be trusted, and much like The Movement they could easily take the coalition down if they disagreed. This would plague their thoughts for the remainder of the conference.

"We do, however, have more important things to get through, and for the remainder of today, as the vote is held, we will have other speakers on stage. Our proposed Transport Minister, Kiriakos Marinelis, will speak to you all about how he will operate in his capacity as a minister. After him, Kaiti Spereli will do the same for her thoughts on revolutionising our nation's cultural, sporting, and entertainment industries..."

Demetria's speech droned on in the background as members pulled out their phones to vote on the KKV's online member portal - or, if they were an older member, would request a ballot and drop it in a box. The party leader was able to see the online count as votes came in, but with the party's strong older base overwhelmingly voting physically, she would have no idea how the vote would swing.

Digital Tally:

The KKV has proposed a governing coalition with S and GTA. Do you think this should go ahead?

YES: 2,601 (62.72%)
NO: 1,483 (35.76%)
ABSTAIN: 63 (0.015%)

Having concluded her speech, the online votes reassured her that she was doing the right thing, and that there would be no issues whatsoever. Thus, the conference continued with speakers coming from the potential cabinet, the unions, as well as the burgeoning KKV youth, who somehow managed to include the term “skibidi rizz” in one of their speeches prompting many confused looks and groans. The speeches continued to drone on, with many members and branch representatives getting bored and exploring many of the different booths around the conference hall. ‘Nurses for KKV’. ‘Motorists for KKV’. ‘Dislexics 4 KKV’. Practically any sub-group of people you could think of had a booth supporting the party - apart from the furries, who had been banned following an incident at the previous year’s conference and promptly set up their own party known as Furries United for Revolution, Security, and of Utmost Importance Transgenders (better known as FURSUIT). Exploring these booths would kill a lot of time, and by the time you’d finished it would be time to announce the results of the members’ vote. Thus…

The General Secretary of the KKV took to the stage, in his hand a piece of paper with the tally of all votes. Clearing his throat into the microphone, the conference’s attendees quietened down, the main party figures sat behind the GenSec.

”Comrades, I hereby declare that all votes cast digitally or physically have been counted, verified, and tallied with complete security. I’d like to thank all the different branch officers across the country for their co-operation in this vote, as well as their swiftness in counting. As I am satisfied that all votes have been correctly counted with no evidence of tampering or fraud, the results of this Vote on the Coalition are as follows…”

Demetria sat quietly behind the GenSec, her right leg bouncing slightly as his words echoed around the hall.

”Abstentions… 361.

Reporters and pundits around the hall quickly scribbled the numbers down, relaying them back to news studios and media offices.

”No votes… 5,873.”

A few claps rang out across the hall, with the majority remaining completely silent.

”Yes votes… 7,378. The vote is successful.”

A large portion of attendees stood up to applaud, with a comically wide smirk on the face of Demetria.

”The total number of votes was 13,612, with a 42/58 split in digital versus physical votes. Thank you all for voting, and I shall now pass on to the Party Leader and Deputy President for another four years, Comrade Demetria.”

She really couldn’t hide her excitement as she shook the hand of the GenSec, before addressing the crowd for a final time that day.

”Comrades, I am thoroughly delighted that our membership has overwhelmingly chosen to support a new coalition government with old friends, old foes, and our party playing a far more crucial role than before. I’d like to reiterate the General Secretary’s thanks to our branch officers and vote verifiers for ensuring such a quick and effective count, and I’d like to thank all of you here for yet another successful party conference. By the next one, I promise to you all that this country will be in a better place than it has been for decades, and I trust that all of you will be satisfied by the path we take - as a party, as a nation, and as comrades. Thank you.”

The crowd once more stood to applaud, Demetria giving a wave to them as once more a government had been formed, and everything was going to go swimmingly forever, and everyone was going to be superbly happy for eternity. Well, in dreamland maybe.

Koinovoúlio composition following the August 2025 election
Previous government: S-TK-KKV coalition (75 seats)
New government: S-KKV-GTA: (85 seats)

[Aphrilia]

The Penchant of Chaos
Bianchi couldn't tell what makes it so that each first matchday for Aphrilia so far is chaos.

Back in World Cup 97, Aphrilia lost to The Kytler Peninsulae in their first ever World Cup match thanks to a late goal being disallowed due to a foul, and the latter taking their chances with a counter-attack. Safe to say, it was what people tend to call "a madness." And looking back at it, safe to say that it was. But now, in their second ever World Cup appearance...

Why did this chaos still appear?!

Osterhalten was Aphrilia's first opponent for the group, before having to face higher seed West Barack and East Obama, as well as footballing powerhouse Valanora. As the fourth seed in Group F, they had no massive expectations upon their shoulders and had all the power in the world to cause pure havoc. Their media described The Anchors as perhaps being the only team that they could snag some good points from. And whilst may or may not be true, nobody expected the match to play out the way that it ended up playing.

For one, Kyra Von Kachel and a few other usually substitute players were starting instead of the main eleven. Bianchi was not underestimating this Osterhalten side, he knew that the level of play amongst the players of the Aphrilian national team was level mostly all-around good. He wanted to save the absolute best starting eleven side for the big games against WBEO and Valanora. It was a reasonable decision that he consulted with the rest of the teams management. And whilst there was a chance this team may have gone complacent with this decision, he reminded them, "Never let your guard down. You may be the favorites, but there's no such thing as guarantees in a sport."

He was more stern than usual, but it doesn't mean his feelings regarding the team has changed. This was still a family of his, but it's because of the fact that they are a family that he was more stern. Think of it as a parent warning a child to not do certain things and why they shouldn't do it. And Bianchi believed in the players that he chose.

And considering what happened in the match, he was glad that he ended up believing in them.

For starters, Andrew Paxton made an own goal after Osterhalten took a corner kick on the 21st minute. Halfway through the first half and Aphrilia was already one-nil down in a match where they should win to secure the best chances to qualify to the knockout round. Paxton clearly wasn't in his right mind, but not because of anything serious fortunately. Aphrilia struck back with an Amanda Brentford special: Pushing the ball forward and taking a hail mary of a shot just outside the box on the 38th after nutmegging Alain Canet.

Halftime arrives and it's one goal for each side. Bianchi made some substitutes to make sure that Aphrilia is able to take the victory without leaving it to chance. And those changes were certainly effective, as Nathaniel Rosberg (Who isn't one of the subs) unusually plays a through ball from outside of the box (Which is unusual for him) that gets past the Osterhalten defense, with Theresa Villa striking it high at the left side on the 55th to make it two to one. But that lead wouldn't last long, as a slip from Theo Cooper allowed Osterhalten to push for a counter-attack. Cesar Haselhurst scored the equalizer on the 60th minute, bringing the score to two all. Not very good, this match was getting shaky.

But then, a miracle happened.

92nd minute of the game, five minutes of stoppage time was given. Aphrilia are awarded a corner kick after Etienne LaCasse swatted away a shot made by Kevin Lacey (Who had been substituted in for Nathaniel Rosberg). There was worry, tension, and pleading from the stands. People could tell that this was it, the make or break moment. Shawn Green was to take the corner, and most would have expected The Anchors to take a chance at a header, or maybe another shot from Lacey. But neither of those happened. Instead, Green played the corner quickly, shocking most people who were watching. At the receiving end, it was Villa once more to score as she earned her brace.

Aphrilia had won their game by three to two. And as commentator Jimmy Karsten put it:

Dying moments of the game, both Osterhalten and Aphrilia hoping for a miracle, hoping for an upper being to perhaps grace them with good fortunes as it's a corner kick for The Anchors here. Green to take it, how will they go at th- CORNER TAKEN QUICKLY, VIIIILLLAAAAA!! THERESA VILLA MAKES IT THREE!!!

It was certainly a well met return, even if the match was perhaps too close for comfort. But that was that, Aphrilia win their game and a now desperate Osterhalten side is to face off Valanora, with The Anchors facing off against WBEO for Matchday Two. After the game, fans were... Tentatively hopeful, to say the least. This team had some good chances.

As for Leonardo Bianchi, well, a win is a win at the end of the day, and the game against Osterhalten would help him gauge some of Aphrilia's usual substitute players even more. With the opposition only becoming more and more tougher, it will only test his tactics even more. There were some ideas brewing in his head regarding training, especially considering the amount of players that the Aphrilian national team currently maintains. This idea, as well as some tactical refineries he has in his thought process, well...

Perhaps he'll put them aside for now. It's time to focus on breaking down the two that come next.

[Flavovespia]

Leaving It Late But Leaving Nothing On The Table

It was a good start for Flavovespia as holders, as they won 0-1 at Cardenao. Few could argue that Cardenao performed with admirable spirit and took the fight to Flavovespia, but Flavovespia delivered one attack too many for their Anaia opponents. One game, one win and confidence should grow.

Damogran in Squornshelan Remnant States was the destination for Flavovespia, and the weather couldn’t be nicer, temperature in the mid 20s (~80F), lots of sun and a gentle breeze. Yellow shirts swarmed the city and the stadium, as Flavovespia prepared to defend their title. Up against them, Cardenao, buoyed by their last gasp qualification, and the urge to avenge CAFA Cup 11.

The opening 15 minutes were tentative, if anyone had the edge it was Cardenao. Flavovespia were back playing their strongest side on paper, including Christopher Hill back from injury, but just lacked a little pace and flair. Maybe it was caution, maybe a lack of chemistry, but there were few early sparks of joy. That changed near 20 minutes, when Charles Shepherd narrowly pulled a shot wide, the first big chance of the game. The first half finished with a flurry for Flavovespia, and Paul Amos had a great header tipped over by an equally great save. Cardenao weren’t completely bottled up, and Peter Marriott had to get his gloves dirty. 0-0 at the break, but it couldn’t be called a bore draw.

The intensity dipped slightly as the second half started, but this was no snoozefest. Flavovespia were prodding and probing, with Jonathan Bagshaw and Anthony Lane making some darting runs. Peter Langdon was also looking lively, forcing a few saves with some solid shots. Cardenao meanwhile came close in the 70th minute, a good cross was met by a powerful half volley, but Paul Amos fling his leg out to deflect it away. As the minutes ticked towards 90, a goal was sensed in the air, and this game deserved one.

The breakthrough came with just 7 minutes left on the clock. Charles Adams turned the ball crossfield into the path of Jonathan Bagshaw. Bagshaw made a dashing run down the right wing, beating the defence for pace. He cut the ball back, across the box, into the path of Peter Langdon. A good side-footed shot, and the ball was past the goalkeeper and in. Flavovespia finally found their way through.

Cardenao weren’t going down without a fight, and Flavovespia were forced backwards and backwards in the final minutes. But despite the ball seemingly not leaving the Flavovespian half, a goal proved elusive. A single goal had decided this game, and it was Flavovespia’s game. Meanwhile Gnejs beat The Kytler Peninsulae 0-1. In the upcoming game vs Gnejs, a winner in that game is almost certainly in the knockout stages, so there’s so much to play for.
Judd Stafford

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Late late show gets Bees best of seven
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team extended their unbeaten run to eleven straight and spoiled the hosts' party at the Nationalstadion in Stelburg on the opening night of World Cup 99, as Terrell London scored on the stroke of full time to clinch all the points for BP in a 4-3 victory over Siovanija and Teusland.

London, who moved to the United Republics to ply his trade during the last major tournament held in the nation, the Arrosian Regional Championships 4, came off the bench with 15 minutes left then slotted home the winner ten seconds into the 90th minute after the sides had produced a see-saw affair befitting the relative close ranking of the Arrosian neighbors who first met in Baptism of Fire 67.

The Goldhorns appeared not to be content with a point in their first competitive outing of the WC 99 cycle after substitute Josef Weber drew the home side level in the 74th minute, but BP boss Will Barnard brought on the Zvezda Vlaikograd forward just after the restart along with Stefanie Martini, and the pair sparked new life into the attack that culminated in London's steady finish after he took a pass inside the box from Cyndi Garfield.

S&T took the lead in the 25th minute through Einar Hackl before the Bees replied with a Fatima Khan tally in the 34th then closed out the opening 45 with a Shonte Logan bullet to the top corner that gave the white clad visitors the advantage.

It was 2-2 seven minutes into the second half after Xorge Le Meji got on the scoresheet but Garfield, wearing the captains armband, restored the BP lead just past the hour mark.
Cue Weber's introduction to the proceedings which buoyed the home crowd and the team in gold as the young star who plays for local side Teussen Stelburg domestically made his presence known immediately, getting affairs back on level terms just nine minutes after stepping onto the pitch.
The fairytale ending should've belonged to the Goldhorns when another starlet Wolf Wind made his cameo with 10 minutes to go in place of Hackl but it was not to be on this night as the "other" Gold & Black nation joined Drawkland at the top of the group table.

BP will next face Audioslavia on matchday two in Vrnovo, with the Bulls looking to get past their loss and avoid needing a final day win against the host team in order to be in a position to advance. Baker Park will draw up on their depth in midfield to open up a range of options in attack against the Anaian side known for their physical style.

Lineup vs Audioslavia MD 2

Albertson; Andrews, Taylor, A Jones; Martini, D'Alessandro (c), Morgan, Prince; Bryant; London, Hardison
subs--Cotterill, Duffy, Frost, Lohmeyer, McKenzie, Douglas, S Logan, Garfield, Kirby, Howard, Ikedieze, Grayson, Shock, Coleman, Khan

[Oberour Ar Moro]

The Interim
The Football Management Committee wanted control. The public wanted a big name. The players wanted the right coach. Lunen Margas may be none or all of these.

By Guionne des Gres


Lunen Margas watches the Oberour Ar Moro players practice at Tourbillon Forest.
Image created with nijijourney and ChatGPT.

Shortly after Noël Ginguené's arrest, the Football Management Committee named Lunen Margas the interim Manager of the Oberour Ar Moro national team, with Laurens Desainctvictori retained as an assistant. In a terse press release, the FMC said the pair would oversee the teams World Cup preparations while "permanent options were evaluated". The release also added that no further questions regarding the team's management would be taken.

With six months to go before the World Cup in Banija, Siovanija & Teusland, and the Squornshelan Remnant States, it seemed deeply unlikely that Ginguené's two assistants would last any amount of time in their positions. They did have some experience, though not what would be expected for a World Cup team.

Lunen and Laurens were both seasoned veterans of Oberour football. As a man, Margas was meticulous and private. A man more comfortable behind a computer than in front of a microphone. As a former player, Margas was a reliable regular at Left Back on the national team for over a decade while plying his trade at Occident, Confessor, and Celeritas. After the end of his playing career he took a position as an analyst for the Celeritas Academy before joining the National Team as a setpiece coach. He remained with the FMC, first working in coach education at Tourbillon Forest, before becoming an Institutional and International Relations Assistant with the FMC. This was a backroom position where he worked and liaised with government agencies within the Dominion, and federations throughout Rushmore.

This was such a backroom position it would have been a surprise that Ginguené named him to the National Team management staff. However, the FMC named Margas to the role with the hiring of Ginguené; he did not have a say in the matter. It led to awkwardness within the staff, but the FMC had a man they could trust. And that trust continued through qualifying into this period of confusion.

Laurens Desainctvictori is still considered one of the greatest footballers in Oberour Ar Moro history. That's especially impressive considering he played as a goalkeeper, a position of little repute amongst the average Oberour. Desainctvictori was in goal for a majority of World Cup qualifying matches and almost all Cup of Harmonies and Copa Rushmoris for over 14 years. Desainctvictori was also a trailblazer, becoming the first Oberour in the modern era to play internationally, with Xanneria's Dursten Easterners. After his retirement, he returned to football to serve as manager for Kriez Valley, and then the inaugural manager for Revelator.

Desainctvictori's results as a domestic manager were not eye-opening, and it seems certain that Noël Ginguené hired him to get some reflected national team respect. But Laurens was great with the players as a coach, and the public still loved him as a former player. Which made him just qualified enough at the moment for the FMC.

In the six months before the World Cup, the FMC scheduled six friendlies. Five on the road, and one at home. Six final chances to finalize a World Cup roster and shake out any flaws before the bullets started flying. Margas took the opportunity to bring on a second assistant: Aleaume Cerenceresse.

At his introductory presser, Aleaume was asked why he would leave a Premier Division job for a national team role that might end before it began. His answer: "Lunen asked, I answered. That's all there is to it." Aleaume was a Margas partisan, having gone through FMC's coach education under Margas before going into domestic coaching. Cerenceresse brought emotional spark and touchline fire. A perfect counterpoint to the reserved Margas and Desainctvictori. At least for however long Margas was in charge.

At Lakeshore Stadium in Burusazi, Banija, Margas and Desainctvictori got their first opportunity to manage the national team on their own. And to the surprise of almost everyone, the Oberours shocked the Banijans on their own soil with a 0-1 victory. Daniel Demisserriche's early penalty kick goal and a surprising defensive effort was the difference. Margas said he was relieved, the FMC said they were pleased, the public were ecstatic. While some on social media and in print started to warm to hiring Margas outright, the FMC saw this as an advertisement for the team's quality and worked on the biggest names of domestic Oberour managers.

Margas, Desainctvictori, and Cerenceresse the next month had to travel across the Xandrian Sea to face Rushmore rivals Tikariot. Tikariot were World Cup bound, ranked in the top ten of The World Rankings, and had a little over a year prior defeated Oberour Ar Moro in the Copa Rushmori finals. The difference in quality at the Temple of the Crow in Bul Khungur was too great, and Tikariot won 4-3. Margas said the team had shown heart, the FMC said they were still considering options, and the public was relatively understanding. And Aleaume Cerenceresse spiking an energy drink bottle that snapped back and hit him in the face briefly became a meme online.

The win in Banija raised eyebrows. The loss in Tikariot earned respect. The defeat in The Golden Harp undid everything. With a 2-0 defeat on the road to the 129th ranked footballing nation had the fans and the press already looking to the era of the next Oberour Ar Moro manager, whoever that might be. Hernin de Dors of Volare and Andriet Guillaut of RC le Especier went public with their interest in taking the national team management spot. FMC leaks indicated that they were looking internationally for a coach that could lead the team into the World Cup and beyond.

Their next friendly, a loss to new Rushmore rivals Kwrpania, seemed like the period at the end of the sentence. While Kwrpania were also a World Cup bound team, they were still 94th ranked, and a dull 1-0 loss where the Dragoons failed to produce many chances seemed like the end of the road. Reports said that while Lunen Margas and his assistants were holding practices on the grounds of Tourbillon Forest, the FMC was just inside ready to hire a full-time manager: Daryl Lamerein, the former head coach of the Milchama national team.

Lamerein had gobs of experience. He started at third division Mongol FC in Milchama and led them to back-to-back promotions. He was hired to lead the newly created Milchama national team and over the next 12 years saw them qualify for the World Cup three times and finish runner-up in the Cup of Harmony. A national coaching legend Oberour Ar Moro would be lucky to bring on board.

Over three months Lunen Margas had gone from bureaucrat placeholder to potential future of the national team to just a man keeping a seat warm. The sports blog New Game launched a live stream of their new office plant "Lunen", wondering if the plant would outlast the embattled interim manager ("Day 15: Plant Lunen somehow still green. Human Lunen somehow still interim manager."). But the human Lunen did not waver. Laurens Desainctvictori and Aleaume Cerenceresse remained steadfast. They trained and travelled and waited.

Quietly but importantly, the national team players had coalesced around the interim coaching staff. Despite issues with Noël Ginguené's autocratic style during their qualifying effort, the players had grown to respect the assistants working under him. Lunen and Laurens were playing legends. Their consistency and low-key style was refreshing after the chaos that followed Ginguené’s arrest. Their presence was stabilizing, and their willingness to take the lead without flinching despite the results was positive. And as Gurthiern de Seysse said after the national team had landed in the Squornshelan Remnant States for the World Cup, "They kept dangling coaches in front of us like they were going to be the only reason we'd win or lose. Screw that." de Seysse was made to apologize for the comments, but there was reason to believe this was a common sentiment.

With little more than a month before the World Cup, the Dragoons travelled to Osterhalten for their fifth friendly. And somehow Lunen Margas was still in charge. The game, a 1-1 draw, wasn't a resounding endorsement for Margas, but it may have just been enough. The team looked organized, motivated, and coherent in all phases of play. Even the Osterhalten goal was due to solid play rather than a defensive break-down.

Outside the pitch the FMC was beginning to hedge. Their golden candidate, Daryl Lamerein, was making things complicated for them. He gave an interview to the Regium Colonnade before he had any official interviews with the FMC. In the interview he said he "had to leave the [Milchama] job due to exhaustion", but "to coach Oberour Ar Moro would have me turning cartwheels". He may have intended to be disarming, but the interview reopened scrutiny around Lamerein's messy exit from Milchama, and why he hadn't held a job in football for eight years. Questions began to pile up online and in the press. Lamerein shortly became a ghost of what might have been. Whether he turned away from Oberour Ar Moro or the FMC stopped returning his calls is unknown.

Faced with public uncertainty and a lack of consensus, the FMC chose caution. Right before the final training camp, the FMC announced the interim management staff would remain in place for the World Cup and beyond. Margas, Desainctvictori, and Cerenceresse each signed one-year contracts. The lifting of this weight came through at their Parade Grounds friendly, a strong 3-2 victory over visiting Igratia. Sure it was just a defeat of a team that hadn't even participated in World Cup qualifying, it felt like a fog had lifted. The Igratians were well-compensated for the expected defeat, but Oberour Ar Moro played like a team that finally knew who was leading them.

The public and the sporting press were deeply unimpressed with the end result. But for many, that the drama was over was enough. As for Lunen Margas, his first post-match press conference as the permanent manager of Oberour Ar Moro sounded much like his last as interim. "Everything this team and this coaching staff does is about getting ready for the World Cup," Margas said. "It's what we've been doing for six months, and it's what we'll keep doing over the next few weeks."

Just preparation. As it always had been.

[Eshialand]

Signs of Underperformance
Eshialand 3-3 Kwrpania

Throughout Eshialand's previous four World Cup appearances, one common thread can be found uniting them all: this is a team that, no matter how well a qualifying campaign goes, will end up completely bottling in the finals. Especially in the last two cycles, which went 12-2-0 and 12-0-2 in their respective qualifiers before ending in 0-2-1 and 1-1-2 finals, there was definitely this sense that, as soon as the team achieved their perennial goal of making it back into the final event, they started coasting and not giving a damn about their own results anymore.

Nowhere did this seem more true than it did in their match against Kwrpania on the first day of the finals. Somewhat uncharacteristically for this team, the offense actually was there this time around. They managed to score three goals, one more than they even had in Eshialand. In fact, it ended up tying for the most goals this team had ever scored in a match in the World Cup Finals! However, just as had happened the one previous time they hit this mark (the disaster against TJUN-ia which partly led to nearly the entire team being fired before CE 39), three goals wouldn't be enough to win, as Harry Bruske allowed the Electric Eels to slot three goals of their own past him, giving the Owls, for all their hard work, just a single point.

Underperforming, especially against Pot 4 sides, was far from a new concept for this team. In their three times not being the bottom seed themselves, their record now stood at a "how is this even happening" 0-2-1. The afore-mentioned disaster against TJUN-ia, the loss against Valentine Z in World Cup 98, and now this disappointment against a team that was quickly becoming a rival they couldn't afford to not defeat. To the Owls' credit, they had firmly avenged both of those previous matchups -- knocking the Jaguars out in CE Rounds of 16 twice in a row by a dominating total score of eight to one, and whipping the Kittens in this cycle's qualification on an aggregate score of 7-2 -- but that didn't exactly matter in the here and now. Sure, history says that the Electric Eels should watch their backs in case they ever see the Eshians again, but that means absolutely nothing when a strong performance right now against Vdara is basically required to advance to the Round of 32.

There was good news under the sun, however. In response to recent claims that Eshialand was "the most unclutch team of all time" (whatever that's even supposed to mean, given that there could be many interpretations based on context), Josh Seametzle decided to do some digging, hooking scripts into the Idiot Project database to try and answer the question, once and for all, is Eshialand really that bad at making the knockouts? Of course, he found the answer was no. Even if Eshialand were to miss the knockouts this time around, there would still be 10 other teams with more finals appearances and as few knockout trips as the Owls (including their southern neighbors in Super-Llamaland and even their upcoming opponents from Vdara!) and 6 teams who appeared in the finals more without ever escaping groups. "Semarland..." he mentioned on an ENN Sports broadcast meant to dispel these popular opinions, "even qualified seven times in a row without making the knockouts. Stop thinking Eshialand is doomed -- if you look at history, this is normal, even if it is a little disheartening. Let the players play for themselves, and enjoy the hot dogs along the way."

Speaking of these players, Kenny Morgan had ideas about how to make the match against Vdara a little less disappointing than their previous one: "Harry... I know he's a good goalkeeper, and I don't want this to sound like I don't believe in him wholeheartedly... but I think this team hasn't really understood the power of taking breaks. I'm incredibly guilty of that, playing mostly the same starters in every match for years on end... that could explain why we collapse in the finals, it's just a tough campaign.

"That being said, he needs a break. Lani Garrett has been itching to play again, and she's at the top of her game right now. She's gonna get the start against Vdara, and I believe in her to make this match the best it can possibly be. She's ready for the biggest stage we can give her."

---

Questions about sporting integrity abound surrounding the Chess Battle Royale in Walbourg, Marigny. This event was initially praised for its incredibly unique format, which would see any players failing to win eliminated instantly. However, with the Eshian government's vocal stance against the Vielfaltigian government's actions in the province, there were serious questions for the Eshian Chess Federation, asking them whether they should send the team at all. While Lazlo Herefur was adamant that Eshians would be participating in this tournament, it was now becoming more apparent that things were not as idealistic as Lazlo would've hoped.

The draw had recently been announced for the first round, and of the 11 federations sending their players to the event, Eshialand was uniquely put in a truly awful position: they were the only team which would see two of their own players faced against each other, guaranteeing a full slate of Eshians would not advance to the next round, and kneecapping the federation's odds of getting a player into the finals.

"I think it's well-known that Eshialand has one of the strongest federations in the world, and the organizers don't like to see that." Herefur opined. They don't want to see Eshialand succeed because, at the end of the day, what people see in sports can affect the viewers in more ways than just sports. That's the entire reason behind putting a tournament in Marigny at all, to make the government look better by hosting a successful tournament. In much the same way, it would make us look much better to do well at that tournament, and for them, that must be avoided at all costs.

"They see Jason and Jamie, and what they see are two strong players with strong stances who do not like what the ULA is doing. ChessVFT, in their attempt to make this tournament reflect well on the nation, may just have rigged the pairings to get at least one of them out of the tournament as soon as possible, and minimize the negative impact our performances may have on their attempts at sportswashing.

"Mark our words: this will not deter us. Jason and Jamie have already agreed that they will not agree to a draw under any circumstances, and one of them will go on, hopefully along with Stephanie. We will make this the best chess tournament Eshians have ever played, and maybe even snag the ECF's first major victory. The deck may be stacked against us, but we're ready to play the cards exactly as they have been dealt. Bring it on."

Not everyone believed Herefur when he said ChessVFT had a hand in the draw being the way it was. After all, it was a random draw, and sometimes randomness leads to some results that don't entirely look random on the surface. What it created, however, was a powerful narrative the players could latch onto to propel them to a good performance... and that's not always entirely a bad thing, even if these beliefs are flawed.

[Zwangzug]

The Spenson Star

Greetings from Felsenkirchen! I'll be liveblogging the match; send me your questions and comments as they arise.

1': Kickoff exactly at 4:00 pm. People in Teusland are prompt, as I've been told. We can appreciate that!
5': Alexei in Kerlagrad asks: "Are societies with high levels of public transit use and/or communism in general more punctual than comparatively autonomous/individualistic automotive cultures?" Juicy one.
9': Maria in Weegham disagrees. "It has more to do with weather. Societies that are literally cold are also more socially cold. In warm-weather places, people are more outgoing and less concerned with precise time management. Ask a Farf." I'm not sure "outgoing" is exactually the word I'd use, there...
15': The big news from Juvencus is that their emperor, Nicola II, recently passed away at the age of 100.
17': Jamal from 102d says "their country's motto is 'believe in the youth,' attributed to the centenarian, which feels a little ironic." Too soon?
20': Vishal from Guariday says: "I don't think Errinundrians were particularly clock-conscious." Seems to be a point for Maria and against Alexei's theorizing, then.
23': Edith from Bassabook wants to know if our country is going to send official condolences or even have our leadership attend Nicola's funeral. I doubt it, but maybe one of you knows something I don't.
26': Also there's a football match going on. Brunnhilde Lavrans just had Zwangzug's best chance so far, but easily palmed away by Juan Carlos Ungaro.
27': Amy from Twineur says: "let's be real we're probably too lazy and isolationist to engage with some other country's grief, but if we had to, honoring someone who lived to 100 and died of natural causes is probably the least bad option."
29': Tony from Nuel wants to know if the Nuova Ecclesia di San Marco has fancy bells or anything. I doubt it, but you never know.
36': Ivan from Zwischen disputes the claim that Nicola's death was of natural causes, pointing out that he'd just given a talk about interdimensional portals. Coincidence? ...At his age, probably, yes, but that's Zwischen for you.
45': Only one minute added on, this game has been very quiet.
45+1': All right, that's halftime. Zwangzug's defense thwarting the tendencies of gli attaccanti so far.
46': Back underway, prompt as always. I enjoyed a delicious slice of Ferdinandentorte at halftime. Still need to try one of the local Stahlbergers, maybe MD2.
48': Johanna in the FTC asks: "did you see that Zwangzug are one of 31 teams that have partipated in all ten qualifying campaigns since World Cup 90? Interesting mix of statistics there. Thoughts?"
49': I knew our paranoid aversion to hosting any World Cup would be good for something. Look, we might be a joyless bureaucracy at times, but at least we aren't freaking Aguazul.
50': The Holy Empire also one of those frequent competitors but infrequent hosts, possibly due to being locked on the other side of scary interdimensional portals. We were just in Valanora last cycle...but that was for the Cup of Harmony. Have they really not hosted the proper since WC82?
51': Tawan in the FTC says Pasarga hosted WC97 and they're basically the same place. No offense, Tawan, but have you ever, like, looked at a map?
54': Michel in Hope City says "#2 when it comes to wins, points, and fantasy points, in every case behind Valanora. All is right with the universe." Dare I mention that our country has actually won more World Cups than the Marauders in this "decade"?
58': Joao Peres with the best chance for Juvencus for so far, it bounces harmlessly off the post.
60': Natalie from Spenson (hi!) says "don't wanna jinx anything but are we actually good now???" That's a bit vague, can you elaborate?
64': The Juvencus fans are disgruntled, and appear to be coordinating to display an image of manager Gael Gaetan in effigy.
68': Aisha from Sharag claims that the word "tifo" is derived from the Juven word from a deadly infectious disease. Sounds fake but okay.
70': Natalie elaborates: "I feel like the last few propers when we've had scoreless draws, under DiMarini, it was like, this is underwhelming and we should be better than that. Now it's exciting! Is it just because we're playing against an all-out-attacking side?"
71': I think it has more to do with the fact that we've sunk to being fourth seeds (missing the last proper "helps" with that), and Juvencus are top seeds, so of course a draw is going to feel like a good result, scoreless or not. If it can hold.
72': Tawan in the FTC is dubious about the objectivity of the current ranking system, insinuating that sides like Edsmontik and Tanirinthia are not allowed to be first seeds because she cannot find them on a map. I thought we'd established she didn't know how to read maps.
75': Andrew from Craton says: "you could have gone with 'why are S&T and Banija in the first pot' or 'there are twelve first seeds now so the meaning is kind of diluted' but instead we get 'places I can't find on a map.' Bold."
78': The old-timer Gilberto Soares is on as a late substitute, but Sohini Dravid neatly tackles him, she's been great today.
82': Sarah from Canbix says "just catching up and saw your dunk on Aguazul. Weren't they both a warm-weather and highly car-centric society? Where do they fall on the punctuality spectrum?" I'm pretty sure they weren't very prompt but that might have had more to do with people not knowing how to read a clock.
85': Audiol kicks it way out of bounds again. While I'd love to say that Zwangzug's defense can take credit for this, Juvencus seem a little bit pent-up and beating themselves. (Drawing themselves?)
90': Okay, three additional minutes added here, let's see...
90+3': Full time, that's it! Zwangzug secure a draw. Also the Ferdinandentorte was really good but I really need to use the bathroom now. See you for Matchday Two.

[Drawkland]

Kontrapuntzeka. A term so ancient that it predates any currently-living mortal Drawkian (which is a fairly large period of time). Of course, when broken down to its bare essentials, it's simply a team committing to the counter-attack. Wait for your opponents to make a mistake, then flip momentum in a matter of seconds and come back to hit a dagger goal or two on the fast break. Audioslavia was committed to such tactics, relying on their defense to keep their opponents at bay while the offense bided their time for the perfect moment. Against an offense team like Drawkland, the theoretical opportunities would be plentiful. The Kick Corps loves to possess the ball deep in enemy territory, taking pot shots and knocking the ball back and forth while waiting for the perfect window to strike. A few shoddy passes would give the Bulls all they need to brush past the Kick Corps.

After all, this was the least impressive Kick Corps team to qualify since - we're not joking - their first qualification back in World Cup 77. Drawkland debuted in Baptism of Fire 64 and entered the KPB rankings at #168 following their third place finish. Their qualification campaign was surprisingly excellent, earning second place in their group below Bonesea and above Barunia, enough to bump their ranking up one hundred spots to #68 ahead of the proper World Cup 77 tournament. Since then, the Corps never dipped out of the top fifty in KPB ranks (yet never better than #14) until the conclusion of the World Cup 98 cycle where they fell to #63. Some believed this was the end of Drawkland's relevance in the World Cup, but the Corps stormed back with a few clutch performances to qualify once again for World Cup 99. Still, given recent precedent, there was no reason to expect this Corps team to do anything in the proper. After all, Drawkland only earned 1 point in their World Cup proper debut from pot four in cycle 77.

Plenty of teams go into the World Cup saying their expectations are at rock bottom. Whether it's pragmatic pessimism to mitigate future disappointment or trying to win the doomer olympics among their peers, it's common for teams outside the top ten to assume their cycle won't go super well. With the aforementioned cycles of mediocre play from the recent Kick Corps, Drawkland was in that same boat. There were plenty of reasons to doubt the Corps, and few reasons to believe they'd accomplish more than a pity point or two from the better teams in the group. Even though Audioslavia was their "easiest" opportunity to scrape some points from this appearance, few would bet on Drawkland to come out on top.

For Corps manager Diana Levitt, this was probably the easier part of the cycle. Her job was secure following an actually successful qualification, and the expectations were low (as we established a moment ago). It would be simple to just phone it in, take the default prize money for showing up and go home with plans to build on this appearance next time. Instead, Levitt drilled the team hard once they arrived in Arrosia, practicing on converting their scoring opportunities. Those opportunities were going to be limited against better teams, so it was paramount to cash in when the chances actually did arrive. The defense was also drilled on the fast-break. Against the counterattacking tactics of the Bulls, being able to defuse those sudden surges would be the key to survival.

The opening match in Stahlberg seemed to move in Drawkland's favor quickly. Audioslavia was content to let Drawkland hold possession for a majority of the match, trusting in their defense to allow few opportunities. The fast-paced passing and moving from the Kick Corps offense was perhaps a little more intense than the Bulls expected, however. In the 12th minute, Emily Tobin delivered a strike to Cece Benbow, a crossing pass that barely sliced through the defense. Cece met the ball in motion, deflecting it with a sliding kick that zipped just under Hein Hélder's leap into the net. The surprisingly sizeable Drawkian crowd contingent quickly rose in surprised cheers. The shot came so quick that very few were expecting it, least of all the Bulls back line. Drawkland was up 1-0 early.

Audioslavia had a few big chances to equalize over the next hour of play. Four times they picked up an errant pass and sent it the other way in a hurry. Four times they got Lúnquerque or Buckley in space with only one woman or none to beat. Each time, one of Drawkland's defenders had a huge play. Sarah Arrowsword managed a jaw-droppingly long slide to poke the ball free without incurring a foul. Rachael Bright cut off a pass that would've left Calderón with a wide open shot otherwise. Nicole Warren stayed stride-for-stride with Buckley and stayed enough in the way to prevent him from getting a real shot off. And finally, McKenna Reed perfectly anticipated a Lúnquerque shot from the edges of the box, leaping at just the right angle and timing to bat the ball away, while the rest of the Corps roster denied the ensuing corner without much drama.

Gryff Gould had the misfortune of fouling Cherry Octavia in the 76th minute. The ensuing free kick from Cam Cross was flawless, as the immortal forward slotted the kick right in the corner of the net to put Drawkland up 2-0. It is said that two-nil leads are the most fragile in footy, giving the leading team just enough confidence to loosen up but not enough of a cushion to offer true security. With less than fifteen minutes remaining in the match, though, it was highly unlikely that the Bulls could come up with two goals to equalize. The ensuing race to the finish was still rather thrilling, but the Corps managed to hang on to the ball long enough to choke away a real chance at a comeback, and the only true run at the goal from the Bulls ended in the gloves of Reed.

To the surprise of everyone who only looks at rankings, Drawkland managed the upset over Audioslavia. Anybody actually familiar with either squad would likely be less surprised - counting on Audioslavia to perform is nearly as foolish as trusting a Drawkian bullpen. Even so, Levitt's plan to play extra hard against Audioslavia was absolutely the right move. It was the easiest chance to get points, and actually snag some momentum in the World Cup. The fact that it was also the first game of the group stage was fortunate, too. Now the Kick Corps actually has a chance to make something happen if they can steal some points away from the tougher teams in the group.

The chances of Drawkland making a run are still hilariously slim, but at least this early win puts them in a mindset of furthering success. Had this game against Audioslavia come in matchday three, it'd likely be following a few losses. The Corps would just be pulling in pity points, if they weren't already mentally drained from being out of contention by then. Instead, hope remains alive for Kick Corps fans and the team itself. Now the question has to be asked. Was this just a flash in the pan against the easiest target in the group? Or was this merely the tune-up game before Drawkland truly re-asserts itself in the World Cup scene?

[Kwrpania]

---

WORLD CUP

Electric Eels fight back to earn draw in World Cup debut

KAISERHAVEN, TEUSLAND – A heroic comeback earned the Kwrpan national team a valuable point in their first ever World Cup game as they drew with Eshialand, 3-3.

The Eshians are far from unfamiliar foes, with this being a rematch from the pair's two matchups in qualification for this very tournament. The first matchup in Reńban was decisive for both sides, as it continued the spark that the Electric Eels had uncovered with a victory away in Juvencus, while for the Eshians it was the catalyst for the changes that led to an undefeated streak that lasted through the rest of qualifying and led to their first-place finish in the group, ten points above Kwrpania.

With the Eshians having won the return leg, 2-0, it looked like they would continue that form early on, as a whipped corner from winger Bradley Davis fell at the feet of a surprised Kaiya Daniels, who coolly converted to give the favorites a lead on just nine minutes. Lucas Meilling would double the lead before the halfway mark of the first half, with his delayed run finding acres of space ten yards out where he struck the ball into the bottom left corner. The Kwrpan side would stop the bleeding, though, and go into halftime with the deficit at two - the same score which they had lost by in Eshialand City, but with another 45 minutes to play, on the biggest stage they had ever dreamed of. Despite manager Dobgazoz-bof's insistence, both in the dressing room and on the touchline with the start of the second half, the Electric Eels again came out flat, and on the stroke of the hour mark winger Keiar Forsen was on hand to tap in the rebound after a header from striker Will Sandrie hit the post. The Kwrpan side were furious, though, as there appeared to have been a nasty collision between Davis and Kwrpan right back Synydwb-pyt earlier in the play, with an extended delay following the goal as the defender received treatment.

That delay provided an opportunity for Dobgazoz-bof to work some magic, though, and whatever they said appeared to have done the trick, as almost directly after the restart, an overlapping Mamzwb-bab found an extra yard to put in a devilish cross, which found Vabwpro-pyt's desperately extended leg to get Kwrpania on the board. What was initially a tame performance from the Kwrpan side became a ferocious high press, and center back Suzanna Blair was caught on the ball by winger Taftyr-mwń, who slid in the onrushing Vabwpetob-zok to fire home and cut the lead to just one. The Electric Eels were clearly ascendant following the quickfire duo, and Magnws-rab came closest to an equalizer with a wicked dipping free kick that narrowly flew over the crossbar. It would be in added time that the breakthrough finally came, though, and from who else but the captain and top scorer Magnws-rym. With the Electric Eels increasingly resorting to lumping the ball into the area, Vabwpetob-zok alternated from the lofted cross with a driven but dipping cross. In a moment he'd like to forget, keeper Harry Bruske came to claim it but could only fumble it, and the talisman was in the right place at the right time to bundle the ball home, sparking wild celebrations from the Kwrpan bench as well as the thousands of fans who have travelled for the tournament. That would be how the game ended, with exuberant screams of "Nerpe!" ("Let's go!") directed at KBN broadcast cameras going viral across social media.

Next up for the Electric Eels is a Pavola derby against Tikariot. Entering the tournament ranked eighth in the world, the reigning Rushmori champions have a significant point to prove after their opening-match defeat to Vdara. Coming off hosting the last World Cup, the Snowy Owls qualified second in their group during qualification, but surprisingly lost to the Electric Eels in a pre-World Cup warmup friendly in the Borealis Stadium in Miruan, 3-2. With a repeat of that performance almost certainly meaning elimination from the tournament, the heavy favorites can be expected to utilize their attacking 4-3-3 formation to put serious pressure on the Kwrpan defense.

Fan zones across Kwrpania were extremely well-attended for the opening clash, and tens of thousands are expected to gather in Tydebwg's Square of the Revolution for the match with Tikariot. As always, the match will be broadcast live on KBN1, with all-day World Cup coverage starting at 8am. May the Father and Mother smile upon our team.

Eshialand 3-3 Kwrpania
Stadion Kaiserhaven, Kaiserhaven, Teusland, Siovanija & Teusland
Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Synydwb-pyt, Petobsw-nam, Fandwrsw-vyz, Mamzwb-bab; Pykpytyr-myf, Vabwpetob-zok, Magnws-rab, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-rym, Vabwpro-pyt
Goals: Daniels 9', Meilling 23', Forsen 58', Vabwpro-pyt 62', Vabwpetob-zok 65', Magnws-rym 90+4'

Kwrpania vs. Tikariot
Sankt Gustaf Stadion, Pomorie/Marzig, Siovanija/Teusland, Siovanija & Teusland
Projected Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Synydwb-pyt, Petobsw-nam, Fandwrsw-vyz, Mamzwb-bab; Pykpytyr-myf, Vabwpetob-zok, Magnws-rab, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-rym, Vabwpro-pyt

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[Banija]

"Lifeless" - Team faces criticism after a drab 0-0 draw to open up World Cup 99

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- The first World Cup on home soil in over 30 years. 3rd one ever. The country loaded with excitements, and the Kadongo Kamu reasonable(although certainly not overwhelming) favorites against a Pot 4 Kanzlia side. Going up to the stadium, fans were loaded with excitement and confidence. We took quotes from a few of them headed into this one.

"It's our year baby- Banija is gonna make one hell of a run!"
"We've got to invoke the Spirit of '83 baby, like Reçueçn did a few cycles ago- it's our time, and our moment, to explode onto the scene and remind the rest of the multiverse that World Cup 98 is not a pattern- it is just a blip."
"The traveling fans are a delight! I tailgated with a few of them- what a time. But it's gotta be Banija 3, Kanzlia 0- I'm calling it right now, Son-Saka is scoring a worldie."

A worldie, he did not score- and instead of a fun, festive, party to open the World Cup- the Stadium of the Restoration seemed lifeless, thanks to the performance of the home team, over the course of the next 90 minutes. Instead of a free-flowing game, a great display of attacking football- Banija instead played scared, intimidated more afraid to lose. "The moment seemed too much for them." Said Lemuel Bereket, Banija's GK for the last World Cup on home soil(83). "It's a high pressure moment- a World Cup at home, when the last few cycles- ARC 4 the exception to the rule- have seen some uncharacteristic struggles from this national team. There's even extra pressure on this team, and frankly, at least in this first game, they didn't look mature enough to handle it."

The nerves from the team could be seen emanating throughout the entire squad. Son-Saka, easily, has faced the most pressure of any Banijan footballer to don this jersey. Captain in his young 20s, his explosion onto the scene in the Q-League, and the extra pressure that most dual-nationals face. At the last ARC, he seemed to be able to relax. But here- the opposite. There's a different sort of pressure playing for the national team, and in front of a rambunctious 100,000+ filling out every last seat in the national capitol, the pressure simply seemed to be too much for him. His trademark elite passes, his ability to make diagonal runs, to find those runners- well, it simply wasn't there. Maybe he's adjusting to a still relatively fresh partnership with Resnais-Mahama- but they could not connect all day long.

The two shots on goal that Banija had all game didn't really trouble the keeper. One was in the 35th minute- a speculative effort from Yob Banda, maybe from about 30-35 yards. That landed softly in the hands of the keeper, no trouble at all for the veteran. Sometimes, hey- gotta try scoring what would surely be a stunner, especially if your team can't generate offense. The team's other shot on target came from a tough, if legitimate chance. A corner kick was cleared to the 18, where the ball bounced to Araba Fanja right on the hour mark. He took a step to the side, and tried to hit- but it rebounded off the nearest defender. With a great stroke of luck, it fell to the feet of Odongo Kagenda- one of the last remaining World Cup winners on this team. He put the bouncing ball on target, weaving it through defenders- but the keeper made a critical diving save.

The other way, despite Kanzlia wanting to get forward, they largely were not able to- Banija did a good job at keeping possession, even if we couldn't keep do much with it. The best chance of the game, for either team however, came via a Kanzlia counter-attack. It was a 3 on 2, and a passback left Greg Hilson wide open for the visitors, for the opportunity at what would surely be a shock 3 points. However, that did not happen- despite nobody being around him, he skied it from about 8 yards out. A brutal, brutal miss- the Kanzlia fans were already halfway in the air, ready to being what would've been a glorious celebration.

And ultimately, it was the ugly form from the friendly leadup(4 wins from 16) that continued here, with the teams finishing the game as they started- a 0-0 draw. "Obvoiusly, that was not the start that we wanted to get of to." Mikhail Trischuk, the team's South Newlandian manager, told reporters. "But, even a point, if it feels like 2 points dropped, can still be critical as we strive to reach the knockout stages. There is still a tremendous opportunity to do so, even if the path is suddenly more difficult. But this team is talented and capable- and with the best fans in the world behind us, well- anything is possible."

Anything is possible, indeed. Next up, we've got Ko-oren, and we're playing them in the Olympic Stadium. Another gigantic venue, Banija's largest city should be a party for the renewal of a consistent rivalry. 80,000+ will pack in for what will be an interesting one. Can an anemic Banijan attack break down a particularly stout Ko-oren defense? They are currently leading the group, having scored the only goal so far in Group A, and are motivated themselves- a win against Banija, no matter what happens elsewhere, punches their ticket to the Round of 32 with a game remaining.

As for Banija... Well, it might be beyond a run of particularly poor form. It's not the early 90s anymore- this team has been a struggling bunch for the last 5 cycles- and despite our pedigree, that reality cannot be escaped. Let's take a look at our last 8 major tournaments, plus the Confederations Cup preceding World Cup 95. We'll also throw in the recent pre-WC tour undertook, since those were critical prep games for this tournament.

Banija recent major competitions
1st Confederations Cup- 1 draw and 5 losses in 6 group stage games. Last place
World Cup 95- grouped(first ever WC where we did not win even one game, 3 draws from 3 despite being defending regional and WC champions)
ARC I- Round of 16 elimination(but against Valanora, first KO round)
World Cup 96- Didn't qualify
ARC 2- Round of 12 elimination(playoff round, to the Yakk Empire)
World Cup 97- Quarterfinals
ARC 3- grouped (only time in national history Banija was grouped in a regional tournament)
World Cup 98- grouped(worst ever performance at a WC, 1 point in 3 games from Pot 1)
ARC 4- Third Place
Pre WC99 Tour- 4 wins from 16 games. Lost to the Busoga Islands.

This is a pretty tough record. First of all, we lost to the Busoga Islands. Busoga! They seem to be kicking our ass at everything these days- that's the true canary in the coal mine.

But, beyond that. We've been struggling for a while. Increasingly, it doesn't seem as if World Cup 97 was a return to normalcy- it seems as if World Cup 97 was an exception to the rule. Our two worst ever World Cups have happened in the prescribed time period, and there's another in that time frame where we didn't even qualify. There seems to be two realities setting in. One, that the RBSA prepared on the pitch for this World Cup, they completely failed the on pitch preparations- and we might embarrass ourselves, again, on home soil. Two, that this generation of players just isn't that good anymore. Where's the depth? The talent? The hunger?

Of course, the nice thing about a World Cup is that narratives can change at the drop of the hat- and to those on the NT, we at this magazine are BEGGING you to make us eat our words. But right now, this is looking like a tremendous missed opportunity. And it goes beyond manager- we fired the manager last cycle after bungling both major tournaments. Is this something that's beyond Trischuk? if we get grouped here, well... We've got to tear everything down to the studs. This team.. Simply put, they're not good enough, and if they aren't good enough.. They'll quickly join the rest of the country in the stands at first opportunity.

[Farfadillis]

"So, what's your day job?"

"I don't have a day job."

"Right, right. Well, then, what's your... night... job?"

"I kill children who cross dealers."

"Like... do they owe them money? Or?"

"Mostly, yes."

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

Míkêl Lôçô often circled back to that conversation his father had with a nosy stranger. A... whatever day evening. It was rainy outside and the stranger had asked for a cig. He was, according to his father, hoping to strike a long enough conversation to sneak in another cig. So, his father answered that to his question and the conversation was cut short immediately. The lesson learned: sometimes, when facing a problem, you gotta go all out, with full kill intent. No half-measures like giving a boring answer or half-heartedly telling the man he couldn't have another cigarette. Just go straight for the children killing.

It was great for him inside a football pitch. He liked to think of every play as a problem he had to have no mercy for. This was easy enough for him, as mercy was something he'd had to learn from scratch, and was far from second nature to him. Part and parcel of growing up with a caring and loving dad who nonetheless does in fact kill children for a living.

"Míkêl, Míkêl, picture?" He could hear someone ask as he walked the street. "I'm not Míkêl. I kill children for a living," he replied. No time for nonsense.

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

"So, what's your day job?"

"I don't have a day job."

"Right, right. Well, then, what's your... night... job?"

"I kill children who cross dealers."

"Like... do they owe them money? Or?"

"Mostly, yes."

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

Míkêl Lôçô often circled back to that conversation his mother had with a different nosy stranger. The lesson was clear: he was gonna have to make the most of everything he could, cause Lord knows he did not win the parent lottery. They did meet at the job, to be clear. It's not such a statistical anomaly.

Every single moment in his life had lived and died by this principle of his. He had to squeeze every last drop of the orange juice they gave him at school every third Friday of the month. He had to run his boots into the ground before asking his father to rob him new ones. He had to, well, cook his own food. Mum was too busy not being great. Dad just couldn't cook. Men, you know.

"Míkêl, Míkêl, picture?" He could hear someone ask as he walked the street. "Yes, of course, my friend. I do not kill children for a living," he answered as he gently wrapped his arm around the fan and smiled. Picture perfect picture. Make the most of every moment.

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

"So, what's your day job?"

"I don't have a day job."

"Right, right. Well, then, what's your... night... job?"

"I kill children who cross dealers."

"Like... do they owe them money? Or?"

"Mostly, yes."

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

... Grandma? Ok, maybe there was another lesson there. Maybe tenderness can be a façade for the rot inside needed to, uh, score a goal and break a lot of hearts. Yes, that's what he'd settle on, at fifteen, after overhearing this conversation. Different stranger yet again. Always the exact same reaction, for whatever time-constrained reason. Anyway, by this point Míkêl had realized it was either football or family business, and he was dead set on football, you won't be surprised to find out.

"Míkêl, Míkêl, picture?" He could hear someone ask as he walked the street. He absent-mindedly took the picture. Remembering this kind of stuff was pretty heavy. He was bound to check out entirely, every now and then, every here and there.

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

"It's the eighty-ninth minute. Eastfield Lodge lead one-nil. Paisley Lysander sprinting towards a fantastic through pass, surely through on goal... and oh, he's pulled a hammy. How unfortunate! What's this. Míkêl Lôçô's sprinting full speed towards the opposing half. His teammates are not following him. His opponents don't know what to make of it. Paisley rolls on the floor, the referee is too stunned to react! He dribbles past one, past another... he's thirty yards out, he hits it. Goal! Farfadillis equalize! And it stands! What a.... well, I don't know what to make of this. How can this man be so cold? So heartless? He's, uh, taken off his shirt. It's instructions on how to donate to a charity for malnourished children in Rülândéá. Ridiculous. The duality of man, huh. From how he scored that goal, you'd think he'd be killing kids, not feeding them."

[Aleirave]

Back to Reality
HUElavia 3-2 Aleirave

While the Seagulls' finish to qualifying may've been something out of a fairytale, once they got to the Squornshelan Confederacy, they were quickly reminded that the proper was a much crueler world, as their efforts to push the offense against HUElavia, although valiant, ended in vain, as a match that was perceived as a possible draw, and played out like a relatively smooth draw, ended up being completely blown in stoppage time.

Haulafo did have some questions about this match, although all of that was overshadowed by his main message to the team, which was much more positive: "it was a close match, and this team proved that yeah, we still can perform if you drop us into the World Cup Finals. Sure, it may not be as good as last time we got here," (referencing the 2-1-0 group stage in WC97), "but I think we all recognize that a lot of things had to go very right for that campaign to even be possible. Let's focus on the positives now, which are that we absolutely still are at that level."

At the post-game presser, the inevitable question did end up being asked, as everyone knew it would following such a late-match collapse: "Tatyana mentioned after the match that she feels it's all her fault how the match slipped through your team's fingers... how much truth do you think there is in her belief?"

"I think once again, these things happen. We've had matches where we've managed incredible clutches in stoppage time, and unfortunately those do have to go both ways. At the end of the day, I don't think she did anything wrong, as she held a very tough team to a reasonable score. Nothing ever got too out of hand, and for that I commend every single member of this team.

"Of course," he carried on, diverging from the question that had been asked, "that doesn't mean that things were perfect. I can talk for hours about how we did just perfectly and how we're still a World Cup-caliber team, but at the end of the day that means absolutely nothing if it's not going to address actual issues that I do believe we have. Yes, we have issues, every loss can be blamed on something and can be addressed. I think something should be done to help improve the team ahead of the match against the Martians."

"Have you figured out what that might be?" Another reporter asked. "The Martian side just held the hosts to a one goal margin, what do you think you can do to help curtail a team that's clearly playing extremely well for their rank?"

"I think there are a couple things we can do, but once again you have the issue of 'how do you implement multiple solutions without one of them causing problems and then not knowing which one is the problem'. This isn't qualifiers, we can't just slowly introduce solutions as time goes on... we need to get everything done now. I think there are some policies which should be changed, some things which need work... and I want to expand on what these are.

"First, substitutes. I've been accused in the past of not using substitutes enough, and I think the performance against HUElavia shows exactly why using substitutes is good. I don't view it as a failure on that end: in fact, the fact that there wasn't a larger late-match collapse proves there's a lot of merit in not overusing our same XI. Yes, I know, shock, horror, Aleiravans conforming to multiversal football norms, but it's absolutely true.

To take some of the weight off of Tatyana in this match, we're going to have Tehieko [Fehifela] start our next match against the Martians. I know, he doesn't have experience, but I think he's more than ready. He's waited enough years to get the chance to start, and now's his turn. If things start going wrong, we can always have him subbed off... but at the end of the day, there's a good chance we end up in a world where stealing fluke points against the Black-and-Reds becomes necessary to advance, and I want to have our best keeper around and at her best in order to make that happen. Right now, that is Tatyana, and she needs all the rest she can get after such a stressful defeat.

"Another thing I want to push is offense. If we're going to have Tehieko in goal, it'll make him feel a lot better about this match to have a lot of goals to back him up. The Spiders are a team that we can overwhelm with offense if necessary, and that's likely going to be the best course of action. There are going to be a lot of drills to get that free-flowing Seagull-ball back into this team, and channel the energy which we brought to the home matches against Shep and Yuezhou. Those matches had the right vibe that we want to be targeting here, and if there's any way we can recapture that, we're going to do what we can to make it happen.

"Lastly, there's one message that I absolutely need to stress here: it's not over. It's easy to look at an ending like that to a match like that and say it's over, but it never is. We've done ridiculous things before. "Let us cook", as the kids would say. This is still an incredible opportunity, not one we're about to fumble."