World Cup 99 - RP Thread

[Of the Golden Harp]

The Golden Harp, after a good win and draw in games one and two, travel to Nova Calania, who are ranked 69th. A draw would be incredible, a win miraculous. Nerves are high as the Holy Harps reach Burnham Ground. Then as the team enters the locker room, they realize Conall Buchanan is missing. They later find out he was out drinking, and forgot to meet the team, and tried to drive to the stadium, but was stopped by the team security. Meaning he is unable to play this match. The players make their way on the field and line up for the anthems. Afterwards the starters line up for kickoff. Nova Calania will start with the ball. Fred passed to Yi Ming, who then gives the ball to Rose who sprints down the field, but is unable to get a shot off because Jones Collins taps the ball away, and it is taken by Kurtis Bone. Bone lobbed it forward to the emergency starter Arlo O’ Burn. O’ Burn dribbles forward, taps the ball to Garbhan who is still recovering from an unknown ankle injury. Garbhan weakly passes to Paul Johnson who fires the ball at the net, but is denied by Serge, who oddly enough seems slightly drunk. After this lone opportunity the Holy Harps settle into a low block, practically having 7 defenders. Nova Calania manages few shots against a disciplined Golden Harpian defense, but Yi Ming manages to get one off, but it goes right into the arms of O’ Finnegan, who never even had to move. At the start of the second half Arlo O’ Burn gets a few shots on target, but not a single one poses any threat. Seeing something new was needed, Sigmund Reynolds puts on 19 year old debutant Ninniau Steed, who excelled on the u18 squad. A difference was made immediately as Steed matched Garbhan’s style of play perfectly, each helping the other. Both have great agility and speed, and Steed being 6 foot 5 posed a huge aerial threat to the Nova Calania defense. Garbhan’s near perfect passing didn’t hurt either. Unfortunately Serge was able to deny each and every opportunity. Garbhan is substituted off as the Holy Harps return into their low block. Finally in the last ten minutes Nova Calania’s offense starts to look like a side worthy of their high rank. They advance into the box 7 separate times, but only twice can they get a shot off. One is tipped over the post, and then in the last minute of extra time Fred breaks into the box unmarked. He passes the entire defense, forcing O’ Finnegan to come out. O’ Finnegan prepares himself for the shot, he slows in front of Fred. Fred releases the shot, O’ Finnegan kicks out his left leg and the ball bounces upwards, then back to the goal off of his arm. In a final effort he throws himself over the ball and lays there as the whistle blows. The Holy Harps have some how denied Nova Calania. An incredible performance, but HUElavia is next. A win is basically impossible. But still the players hope. The nation hopes. Anything can happen at the World Cup.

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 3–1 Valanora
(Milano 7', 56', Arruda 85' (P) | Haaland 32')
Estádio Costeiro, HUEsilia, HUElavia

The Golden Harp 0–4 HUElavia
(Go 6', Gavicaechebarria 38', Serra 78', 89')

The Faces of HUElavia

Episode 2:
The Portuzians

HUElavia, being a multiethnic and multicultural nation has had a wide amount of people that have made the continent their home. One cannot go discussing about HUElavians and the culture without mentioning one of the "Big 3" ethnicities of HUElavia: The Portuzians. The Portuzians, where over 280 million HUElavians claim Full or Partial ancestry, is one of the most historical and influential ethnic groups in the entirety of the United States of HUElavia. The Portuzian HUElavians have origins from the Southwestern nation of Portuzia on the continent of Euroa, An expedition fleet led by the Portuzian Explorer Fernando Silva Leite Roys had originally tried to land on what is believed to be the Golden Peninsula in far eastern HUElavia (near Itio), but there was recordings of strong rain, winds and thunderstorms, likely to have been a Hurricane hitting the area, which forced the ships to go around towards the Southern Sea, per Silva Leite's diary. This is the earliest known documentation of a Hurricane coming out of an Euroan.

Eventually, the Portuzian explorers would eventually land in the bay and coastline of modern day Sao Salvador in July 1689 and establish a colony and trading post in the area. Eventually, the Portuzians would discover the Hueti living among other parts of the coastline, as well as the interior of the continent. Some of the coastal populations were more open to the explorers while the people in the interior were more hostile. Eventually such hostilities would lead to battles of conquest and defense (depending on one's viewpoint), along with the introduction of Euroan diseases that would wipe large parts of Hueti population. Eventually, they would partake in enslaving and REDACTED the Hueti, which eventually led to the Catholic Church to force them (and the Aestellians) to emancipate the Hueti or risk excommunication, of which it was done, but left the Hueti as second class citizens. Eventually, the Portuzians began to move along the coastline and establishing ports and towns more inland in order to expand their domain, eventually splitting off HUElavia into two along the center with Aestellia.

The Portuzians did bring many cultural things to HUElavia that have become commonplace in the country and make HUElavia HUElavian. First and foremost: the Portuguese Language. While it can be found around the country, it is mainly in the western half where it can be found. Portuguese is one of the four official languages of HUElavia (the others being Hueti, Spanish, and English) and about half of the population can speak it, at least in a B2 level. Portuzian cuisine also became the norm in HUElavia, mainly involving seafood dishes, as well as soups and other Portuzian dishes. In particular, one of the official dishes of HUElavia is Bife a Cavalo, Beef Steak with a fried egg on top with seasoned potatoes on the side. The music from Portuzia would also serve as the main sort of music being played in HUElavia, specifically Fado being a still popular genre played in the country. The architecture is very popular and common throughout West HUElavia, where even if modern architecture is pushed, there is still a preference to blend a mix of Portuzian and Modern in most homes and buildings.

Countless Portuzian-HUElavians have made their mark in HUElavian history, from the colonial days to the East-West HUElavia split, to the unification of the entire continent into the United States of HUElavia. They partake in all aspects of society, from government to business, to sports, to science, to culture, to cuisine and so on and so on. The most famous and most liked Portuzian-HUElavian was President Maria Santos Leite, who was elected in 1964 as the First Female President of HUElavia, one of the first in the multiverse. She was credited for bringing HUElavia back from an Economic freefall, as well as investing into civil rights for minorities and immigrants. Most famously, she established the NHSA (National HUElavian Space Agency), which sent HUElavia to the Space age and eventually led to the HUElavians to be able to travel throughout the multiverse to other planets and the countries found on them. Simply put, she is considered as one of the "Elite Leaders" of HUElavia, of which she is part of the 5 best presidents in the history of the country and her 12 years in power led to term limits being established due to her popularity.

[The Osnari Federation]

When most people think of the Osnari Federation, they think of steel, manufacturing, shipbuilding, and other strong, manly industries. They might think of the unusual political system, or of the old architecture of Suris, or the soaring skyscrapers of Kinzach. In recent years, they may recall the victory of the national football team in the 86th Baptism of Fire. There’s one last thing that makes the Federation significant, however, and if you don’t already know a lot about the country, you may not expect it. Spread across a campus in Kinzach’s western suburbs is one of the world’s larger tech companies: Key Industries.

Key Industries, or KI as the company is best known, is by far the largest technology company in the Federation, with a share of the Osnari market that many observers consider to be a monopoly, though the Osnari government has not taken significant action against the company. KI dabbles in both software and hardware; its flagship products are:

• The Key Alpha 8, the most recent iteration of the first mass-produced Osnari-manufactured computer. It also comes in Slim and Power editions for varying uses.
• The NovaLock Operating System, now on its fifth edition. It runs on all Key devices and is fairly popular among other companies’ devices as well.
• The Key Mini, branded as a pocket version of the Key Alpha. It is, for all intents and purposes, a smartphone running a mobile-optimized version of the NovaLock OS.

Key produces several other products as well; the KeyBook tablet has proven quite popular as well, though not so much as above.

The company was founded in 1986 as a side hustle for Christoph Maier. It was sort of what you might expect: Maier got into computers, took many classes on early computing, and tried again and again to design a better version of the computers he was seeing online. The company did decently, and by 1995 it had become Maier’s main job to run it. But the big breakthrough didn’t come until the year 2000 with the Key Alpha; the first Osnari computer to be put into mass production, it was unlike anything the people of the Federation had seen for the price, which was much cheaper than the computers shipped in at high cost from around Anaia. Within a few short years, Christoph Maier and KI had cornered the Osnari tech market. From there, it was a straight shot to dominance, as the company grew and diversified, and the profits just kept rolling in.

Key Industries is currently based in Kinzach, where its corporate offices are and where it manufactures its own devices. The Osnari government remains quite determined to protect the company, heralding it as a shining example of Osnari prowess and ingenuity. KI’s cybersecurity wing does quite well with the government as well, contracting with the national government and all of the state governments except Teiningen to assist and advise on cybersecurity.

There is a theory out there that KI does some more shady work in its contracting with the government as well. Supposedly, there’s a special government-funded division of Key’s cybersecurity wing that, well, goes on the offensive. Very few details exist about this alleged group. For all we know, it doesn’t exist. Those who have pursued the story have mysteriously abandoned it, and the government’s protectiveness of KI, despite its pro-freedom disposition, has warned many a journalist away from the case before even beginning. There is a pattern there, somewhere. There’s obviously something that KI or the Osnari government don’t want people finding out about. One day, that’s going to come careening back at them. Potentially. Allegedly.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - all images in this RP are AI-generated


From the Diaries of Swole Santa

On the third matchday of qualification, my swole elves gave to me... a 3-0 win away from home

Now, that's more like it.

None of that stupid nonsense like in the last match about beta male referees handing out two red cards to the elves for some pussy overreaction to a couple of minory fouls. Just because they would have been carried off on stretchers if we hadn't been playing in the Holy Empire doesn't mean you send them off; no harm done here in the Dreamed Realm where their injuries are immediately healed, right? Just because the second foul would have been a compound fracture over in pussy beta male land - sorry, I mean 'Ordinary Reality'... Anyway, no harm done, no red card; that should be the rule, right?

Anyway, 3-0 against Al-Tamazgha, and back on track. It was easy. Just looked up the details of the opposition in the Book of Naughtiness before the match. Their goalkeeper? He shoplifted once when he was 11. The central defender? He made a nasty quip about 'giving at the office' to a homeless beggar 7 years ago. The left winger? Lied to his mother about volunteering in the school library. The centre forward? Feels immense guilt about the failure of his relationship with his ex-fiancee; not really naughty, but he thinks he was, which is all that counts. The entire starting XI had been naughty at some point in their lives, and we revelled in their pain. I mean, sure they'd all been nice at some point as well, but who really cares about that one time a central midfielder gave his mum flowers for Mother's Day. Sissy.

The winning tactics were easy... just spend 90 minute whispering into the opposing players ears about their naughty transgressions, and watch them shrivel with pain and guilt. That's how you win football matches. By being an alpha Santa backed by 10 alpha elves, not by being nice to inferior teams.

--------------------------------------------------

From the Diaries of Swole Santa

On the fourth matchday of qualification, my swole elves gave to me... a 4-1 smashing of Doubeia

We're four matches into qualification, we're topping the group, and we're feeling fine.

This seems as good a time as any to launch our new exercise video: Swole Santa's Alpha Elves Will Pump You Up!!! The Evil Christmas Exercise Guide

The girls from Doubeia can watch the video and learn how real men (and elves) exercise.

We exercise by LIFTING WEIGHTS!



We exercise by RUNNING ON A TREADMILL!



We exercise by USING THE ROWING MACHINE!



We exercise by BALANCING!




And that's why - by exercising - evil swole Santa and his mötley crüe of power-lifting metalhead alpha elves will always be better than ... girls.

So here's hoping the multiverse will buy our video; if they don't, maybe we should find a way of making them...

[Kanzlia]

KNS Lugzaun

---

LUGZAUN class gunboat

---

Displacement:  1530t
Speed:  21kts. 4000nm at 12kts.
Armament:  3-120mm/4.7in (3x1), 1-40mm/1.5in (1x1)

No.	Name	Builder	Laid Down	Launched	Commissioned	Fate
KB1	LUGZAUN	Ibsian Heart Co.	13.5.1928	29.7.1929	30.11.1929	Decommissioned 11.11.1946, Sunk as target 2.8.1947
KB2	AGELSVELD	Ibsian Heart Co.	16.5.1928	2.9.1929	16.12.1929	Decommissioned 11.11.1946, Sunk as target 2.8.1947
KB3	WISBERG	Ibsian Heart Co.	29.5.1928	11.9.1929	12.1.1930	Decommissioned 11.11.1946, Scrapped 18.12.1946
KB4	KESSERTBERG	Ibsian Heart Co.	29.5.1928	12.9.1929	16.2.1930	Sunk 3.12.1939
KB5	MYODEVELD	Szbedansk Shipbuilding Co.	19.4.1929	8.12.1929	1.3.1930	Decommissioned 11.11.1946, Scrapped 18.12.1946
KB6	BIOMVELD	Szbedansk Shipbuilding Co.	19.4.1929	7.12.1929	8.3.1930	Sunk 3.12.1939
KB7	NIOMEVELD	Szbedansk Shipbuilding Co.	20.4.1929	13.12.1929	1.3.1930	Decommissioned 11.11.1946, Scrapped 18.12.1946

When the Kanzlian government began opening itself up to extensive foreign trade, it was accompanied with the first embassies constructed in nations such as Tumbra and South Newlandia to name a few. As such the need to show the flag and to protect Kanzlian interests in foreign nations emerged. Their current warships were poorly suited to the task. The Navy Commands reluctance to send their expensive warships to long voyages, forced the Navy to construct a brand new type of ship that is able to provide modest threatening power to give a semblance of security to their (now) many embassies in foreign lands.

The Kanzlian Navy was reluctant on spending many more millions of Gelders on these warships, and due to the amount of embassies the Kingdom now had, quantity was prioritised. An initial proposal of building scout cruisers was rejected due to cost constraints, a destroyer design was also rejected on similar grounds. Just as progress was seemingly held to a standstill, a compromise was eventually made by the King himself with a flushed deck destroyer design. The design was considerably downsized, its engine much weaker, its torpedo armaments completely removed, and notably for a gunboat it had oceangoing capabilities and long range. The Navy officially classified the Lugzaun class as gunboats and its naming was based on notable hills and plains. The lead ship of the class, KNS Lugzaun, was laid down on May 1928 and commissioned in 1929. The rest of the class would enter service by 1930.

12 was initially planned but due to budget constraints, 7 in total was built, with the last 3 built in Szbedansk. The gunboats was assigned to various nations in Esportiva, representing Kanzlia's interests in wherever nation they were assigned to. Lugzaun, Agelsveld, and Wisberg was largely stationed in nearby nations from Kanzlia, mainly Doubeia. Myodeveld and Niomeveld focused on the waters arround Tumbra, whilst Kessertberg and Biomveld was assigned to nations Kanzlia had "unclear" relations with. The gunboats had an uninteresting career and would be mass decommissioned in November of 1946, except for Kessertberg and Biomveld which was sunk by hostile forces in 1939.

[Warkus]

Pêl-droed a Phethau Eraill

A blog by Thomas Blayney

---

The conference's opening night was… surprisingly okay. It started off with some boring announcements and thank yous, followed by a keynote talk by Associate Professor Elizabeth Robinson. Robinson is a historian at the hosting University of New Nyraeth whose work is "at the intersection of the history of sport, collective intentionality and social structure in the early unification period", according to her website. In normal people-ese, that means she looks at the history of team sports during the early unification era (for non-Warkusians, that's when Warkus was first established as a nation). She spoke about the formation of our country's early domestic football teams – amateur cross-regional teams designed to promote a sense of camaraderie among people from different parts of the country. It's a familiar story to our more politically-inclined sports fans, as it's a nice retort to claims that team sports are 'fascist', 'overly competitive' and 'jingoism writ small'. There wasn't really much else to the talk (I'm told this is common of big opening keynotes) beyond the general message that popular attitudes regarding sports change according to different political climates – how political figures paint particular disciplines, or sports as a whole, as good or bad in certain respects often reflects their current political priorities. She argued that even indifference can reflect those priorities in any expressive way, as if you're telling people "you shouldn't care about this".

One interesting question, or an objection rather, came up in the Q&A. A younger man, who came off as somewhat hostile, objected that indifference has no such expressive connotations – you can plausibly be indifferent about classical music without thinking other people should be indifferent too. Professor Robinson gave a confusing response where she talked about how all attitudes carry expressive connotations in social spheres and a world where everything is political, but the man didn't find that convincing in the slightest, so he argued back and forth with her until the chair stopped them and moved on to another member of the audience. The other questions were pretty unremarkable, just people asking for clarification on this or that detail and academics promoting this or that book (books that their friends wrote, probably).

I stayed at the opening reception for a little while, but headed back to my apartment early after realising academics are even more boring drunk than they are sober. I did learn one interesting thing, however. The conference is divided into different streams: history, philosophy, politics, gender, religion and so on. But the stream labelled 'Other' is apparently not-so-subtle code for 'the crank stream'. You see, this is a large conference where the organisers wanted to accept any and all submissions. They ended up receiving some bizarre abstract submissions referencing strange conspiracy theories, grand theories that claim football is the key to the world's mysteries and some that were totally incomprehensible. I might check some of them out if I need a laugh later.

Anyway, on the football: Last time I wrote "Here's hoping we don't get smashed by [sic] badly the 9th ranked former champions Farfadillis in the next game", so I guess it's only natural that we picked up our first win against them. They played a somewhat rotated starting eleven and paid the price when Max Tarbutt nabbed a brace before half-time. Aneurin Evans scored our third goal of the match in the 53rd minute, sealing their fate. They brought on the heavy-hitters soon after and fought desperately to avoid an embarrassing giant-killing defeat at home, but only managed to find two goals. Middle Alba, who are participating in their first World Cup Qualifiers, did not underestimate us. They played a slow, frustrating and ruthlessly disciplined game once Struan MacTaggart scored in the 34th minute. The academics spent the next day claiming that 'Struan MacTaggart made time unreal' – a reference I didn't understand until it was explained to me. I almost wish they hadn't explained it. I liked it when I could believe it was a genuinely funny joke that I just didn't understand.

[Doubeia]

let me know — bts

Ambrose didn’t know if it was worth it, but he was already standing in front of Skye’s door. It was too late to turn back.

All Ambrose wanted was closure. He didn’t want to receive the news via a measly text. He wanted to hear it from Skye herself. Only then would he feel… “at ease”, even though there was nothing to feel at ease about. His hands were shivering in anxiety as cold sweat dampened his palms. It was weird to visit Skye empty handed. He would usually bring her some of the food she liked, or perhaps even a present during major occasions. This time, however, he brought nothing, and for good reason. Technically, this was a major occasion: breaking up was after all.

Ambrose almost didn’t want to do this. A voice was telling him to turn back and walk away. Doing this was useless. However, Ambrose shooed that voice away. He wanted to follow his heart even if his heart may not be in the best place. With a bout of hesitation, he stuck out his hand to knock on Skye’s door. He mentally prepared his script. He couldn’t screw this up. He wanted to leave this sinking ship of their relationship on a high.

The air remained silent for a while. Everything stood still for a good minute. Did Skye know that it was Ambrose? Was she refusing to open the door for him? He stayed still, awaiting a response. He was willing to stand for half an hour, and then an hour, and then two. In that period of waiting, he couldn’t help but think back to the past few weeks. Did they even do anything other than argue? He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed, had fun or enjoyed his time with Skye. It had been a while since he smiled with her. Their last meetings were full of arguments,

“Bro, I told you to get me mint chocolate, not neapolitan,” Skye whined as she poked at her ice cream with a fork, “Did you not read my message?”

“Ice cream is just ice cream,” Ambrose replied indignantly, “What’s the deal if I brought you a different flavour? It’s not like you can’t eat netopilan or whatever.” Skye’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I’d expect my own boyfriend to get me what I asked for, or at least tell me if there wasn’t any mint chocolate,” she spat.

“Well I’ll just–” Ambrose raised his voice in anger as he picked up the ice cream and threw it on the ground, “I’ll just fucking get you what you want for your spoilt ass. Tch.” The two stared each other in the eyes, looking at each other with wide, rage-filled eyes as the atmosphere grew heavy under their tension. Skye stood up and put a finger on Ambrose’s chest.

“How many times have I told you to control your feelings?” she asked in annoyance, “You don’t just go around throwing shit and wasting food like that. Are you sick or what?” Ambrose stared Skye down with a gaze sharp enough to kill. Closing the gap to her, he looked at her dead in the eye.

“Well I’m sick of not being appreciated by my own girlfriend,” he growled, “If you want to be so picky, then just leave, alright?” He heaved a few heavy breaths before leaving the house to get Skye more ice cream. All that while, Skye stood motionless, in shock and heartbreak.

passive-aggressive conversations,

“Congrats on missing a sitter,” Skye ‘bantered’ as the team walked into the dugout. Ambrose had earlier skied the ball way over the net and denied himself a hat trick in the first half. Ambrose looked at Skye with furrowed eyebrows and a frown.

“Shut up,” he spat, “That was a shitty cross from you.”

“Oh, so all that needed to happen for you to score is for me to… cross it better, instead of you kicking it way too hard,” she replied nonchalantly, “I see now.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ambrose asked angrily, “I didn’t do anything to you.” Skye took a quick glance at him and smirked.

“Who was the one who yelled at me for passing to Mavis instead of you, hm?” she retorted, “I bet Mavis would have scored that. Ambrose couldn’t believe his ears. What was she saying?

“It was just a heat of the moment thing, babe. No need to be so rude.”

“I wonder who was the rude one during training and warm-up just now, yelling at Alana for no reason.”

Ambrose ran out of things to say. He couldn’t believe what was coming out of Skye’s mouth. To him, he had done nothing at all. He didn’t even know he yelled at Alana! Skye was just antagonising him, her boyfriend, for no reason, and Ambrose’s slightly down mood quickly worsened.

“Stop being a bitch,” Ambrose spat at Skye. She merely shrugged her shoulders and ran to Mavis in front. Ambrose was close to flipping her off, maybe yelling at her, but he knew he had to control himself. He couldn’t be acting out, not when he was the main star in the team.

Unfortunately, Ambrose never really recovered his composure from his talk with Skye; he made no shots on target in the second half and was quickly substituted.

and wordless anger.

It was uncomfortably quiet in Ambrose’s living room. Ambrose was internally regretting bringing Skye back that day. The both of them had a fallout during training. Or, to Ambrose, he got into a fight with a teammate, and Skye just had to be a busybody.

Salvador was uncharacteristically poor during training. He couldn’t string a ground pass to save his life, and when he failed his fifteenth attempt to play the ball up forward, Ambrose erupted in frustration.

“Just fucking kick the ball, it’s not that hard!” he whined as he booted the ball far away from anyone, “Just do this, you’re making it look way harder than it is.”

“I’m not taking passing lessons from someone who has a 35% passing success rate,” Salvador quipped. Ambrose wheezed.

“You’re really gonna use statistics against me? You better shut up, skinny boy,” he threatened, beckoning for Salvador to come closer, “I’m not scared.” Ambrose wasn’t being particularly serious when he said that, but Salvador took his words literally and approached Ambrose in a boxing position. Seeing that Salvador was ready for a fight, Ambrose also pulled into a boxing stance as the two stared at each other intensely.

It seemed like Winterfalls Tundras would be hosting their first ever boxing match, but amidst all of the tension and covert excitement, someone had to spoil the fun.

Skye came up and slapped some sense back into Ambrose.

“What was that for?” Ambrose complained, wincing as he held his right cheek Skye had slapped.

“I told you not to fight your own teammates, how many more times must this be said?” she said exasperatedly. As Ambrose recovered from the slap, his initial shock gave way to a sort of indignance. He couldn’t believe he just got embarrassed like that, being slapped by his own girlfriend. He couldn’t take it. His pride couldn’t. He felt an irrational anger towards Skye. He knew his feelings weren’t valid, but he couldn’t help but blame her for what had happened earlier…

…and as the two sat on the sofa in Ambrose’s house later, neither bothered to acknowledge the other. Skye was still miffed at Ambrose being a manchild, and Ambrose hadn’t recovered from his humiliation earlier. Ambrose told Skye to sort the situation out at his house, but ever since the two reached there, they didn’t even share glances, let alone a conversation. Ambrose played around with the television remote. He still felt pissed off about the situation, and his feelings had yet to subside. Meanwhile, Skye was busy scrolling through her phone, refusing to talk to Ambrose.

Seeing how nonplussed Skye was being, Ambrose’s annoyance began to rise. Why was she ignoring him? Was she oblivious? Did she want him to initiate the conversation? Ambrose didn’t have the heart to start the conversation, so who was?

Ambrose continued fiddling with the remote, waiting for Skye to say something. Alas, she remained glued to her phone. At that moment, Ambrose felt like he couldn’t control himself, and in a bout of annoyance, he threw the remote onto the floor.

“So why did you do that just now?” he asked Skye indignantly. Skye was shocked by Ambrose throwing the remote, but as she made sense of the situation, her already dark expression soured even more into a scowl. She looked at Ambrose with a look that could kill but refused to say anything. Ambrose, meanwhile, leant back onto the sofa even more. Neither budged for a hot minute.

Skye then suddenly got up, picked her things up and left the apartment. Ambrose was left sitting in silent surprise. What was the damn point of agreeing to talk about a situation when no one even said a word? It was an incredulous situation, and as Ambrose thought about the heavy silence just now, he suddenly realised that things with Skye were taking a turn for the worse.

“What do you want?” Ambrose was shocked back into reality by someone’s voice. He looked in front of him. Lo and behold, it was Skye at the door, wearing the same unpleasant expression she had on the past few days. Ambrose almost forgot what he wanted to say having daydreamt so much earlier. He recovered his train of thought, and heaved in a heavy sigh before starting.

“I just…” he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, “I know you said you wanted to break up with me, but that was via text. I just want you to tell it to my face right now. I just need that closure.” After speaking, he looked at Skye awaiting a response. Her expression morphed from one of curiosity to one of annoyance, and then to one of deep thought.

“Why’re you so fucking insistent on this?” she asked. She carried a more inquisitive tone than her choice of words might have suggested.

“I… I don’t know,” Ambrose admitted, “It just feels right to hear it from you. I just need to hear you say it. Just tell me I don’t know why.” As he spoke, he tried to avoid eye contact with Skye.

“Do I really need to?” Skye asked, slightly miffed.

“Please, just let me know. I just wanna know… wanna know if we’re over.”

A moment of silence ensued. At that moment, Ambrose started to doubt things a little. Perhaps Skye would turn down his offer? She had every right to do so, and he probably didn’t deserve this closure anyway. To his surprise, however, Skye spoke up.

“Alright, just look me in the eye,” she said, and Ambrose followed. There were a few seconds of silence. As Ambrose looked into Skye’s eyes for perhaps the last time in a while, he could see hints of sadness and yearning in them, but they were all muddled with her hurt and pain. He wanted her back, but he was sure she didn’t want him back.

“Okay,” Skye spoke once more, “I’m breaking up. With you. I treasured the times we had together, but I just don’t think it’s good for the both of us to continue this broken relationship… Well, was that good enough?”

“Yes,” Ambrose agreed as he nodded, “That’s good enough for me.” He hated hearing those words so much. He didn’t want to hear her say that, and he was even starting to regret doing this in the first place. However, his heart felt somewhat at ease. It was as if a milestone had been lifted up, and he didn’t know why. Why did he need Skye to tell it to him in person for him to accept the break up? He didn’t know. Ambrose didn’t know. Ambrose didn’t know anything anymore.

“Okay,” Skye replied, “Please don’t disturb me anymore. I need to rest.” She promptly shut the door on Ambrose.

Ambrose walked back to his house. In the darkness of the night, the path was dimly lit. It felt metaphorical in a way. Perhaps the dim light represented his diminishing hope. He walked along the canal boulevard. Everything was so quiet, so lonely, so serene. No one was around. It was the perfect environment for self-reflection.

Ambrose sat himself down on a bench overlooking the canal and the garden opposite, and he started to tear up a little. A tear became two, and before long, he started to cry.

[Juvencus]

Il Scudelliano is under new management, one that presents the news about la squadra as it should instead of being a third party newspaper that supports the team only when it wants, and will remain that way until further notice

QUESTIONMARKS RAISED AFTER WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS GAMES AGAINST TEVUEKK AND VALENTINE Z

Strikingly confusing in its output, la squadra may have dismantled Tevuekk with relative ease but a goalless draw to Valentine Z has sparked confusion amongst the masses. On one hand, exciting football, typical Pomenienze action on the field time and time again but on the other hand inconsistencies with conversion after the first 4 games have been met with a lot of thinking, much less the typical Juven criticism. Focus currently is around the much anticipated Juven population census, the first of its kind since 2016, the entry of la squadra in international football competitions.

As for the matches themselves, there is a quick overview of the events in both games.

VS TEVUEKK: A team of rosterless, bland people who looked like your original non-playable characters. Nothing to see and nothing too special about their team's playstyle. Tevuekk's team had a strong home support for a team of... literally unnamed nobodies. Regardless la squadra dictated the pace of the match with relative ease. Ceferino Audiol scored a brace in the first half, being subbed off by Gaetan at half-time. The reason stated in an official press conference as "Ceferino just wanted to spend more time with his wife back at home."

A family man at heart, Ceferino Audiol is one of the most universally loved players in this team. However, another universally admired player would seal the match for the team. As la squadra would besiege the the Tevuekk defensive line, a backheel pass by Silvia Lopez would find an overextended Carlo Callejon ready to score one of the most beautiful goals in gli attaccanti history. The trajectory of the ball would be quite unusual as it'd move upwards, then downwards only to go upwards again and confuse the Tevuekk goalkeeper, rendering him useless. The home side would score a cheeky header at the end of the game, but it would not matter as la squadra would get 3 more necessary points.

VS VALENTINE Z: One would expect a high-octane goals fiesta by two teams who are not characterised by their defensive aptitude or their lack of clinical finishing. This excitement was NOT provided for the 85,000 fans gathered at Stadio Gianluca IV whatsoever. A newspaper not dedicated to the truth of the game would try to find an important chance through the game. In truth, the only really dangerous opportunity was provided by a Joao Peres long-range rocket that would hit the crossbar, sending the crowd in awe for the one and ONLY time in the game.

Two games at home without victory has left the crowd demanding answers. Some people believe the Pomenienze has become outdated and needs changes, others see it more conservatively as a series of unlucky events and that the team will get back on track soon. In a highly passionate interview, Gaetan could not manage to hide his frustration at the sudden swings and changes in both media and fan attitude. "One day these people care a lot, the next they do not. Happy when we win, angry when we lose, completely apathetic at a draw. If we do not have a 50-match winstreak these people never get enough. This team are the champions of the Indies, we will find a way out of this but when we reap the results, it will only be for those that sow the support within us now."

Hosting perennial midcarders Quakmybush as well as visiting... nudists(?) in Jeruselem, la squadra is tasked to get 6 points out of two opponents with rich history in the competition. Irrespective of the teams' current form, gli attaccanti are to approach these games with the utmost of caution as experience speaks volumes. However, the talent of this team can and will be able to take it out of a hard situation such as the one it is currently situated in.

[Oscioru]

Image was generated with deepai
glossary at the end

✣CANZARIA QUOTIDIANO✣

OSCIORU AT ITS MOST RELIGIOUSLY DIVERSE STATE IN 1000 YEARS FOLLOWING CENSUS


Saint Joao the Just Monastery, an important pilgrimage point for Osci-Rite Catholics¹ overlooking Canzaria Valley

Oscioru has had its first state-sponsored census in the 21st century where it covered all important metrics such as population(national and regional), ethnic and religious identification and main household language. Oscioru is a traditionally Catholic-led nation, which has had decent presence of other denominations and religions such as Orthodox Christianity, Judaism and Sonicrism² among others.

The main regions of Oscioru are Bresca in the north, Vorona in the center, Poma Special Region in the south, Brulli in the west, Castelfiorano in the northwest and Canzaria in the east and southeast. The total population before the census was estimated to be between 46 to 54 million individuals scattered across the nation. After official calculations, the total population amounted to 49,258,552 individuals of which 46,071,280 have an Osci citizenship.

This article will not dwell on the specifics regarding ethnic, linguistic identification nor by the split of the population per region. Instead, it will focus on the officially returned religious diversity that has described the living situation of the lands of Oscioru since antiquity.

The official split is Catholic Christianity(Majority belonging to the Osci-Rite, with a minority of Pomena-Rite³ Catholics) at 45.2%, Orthodox Christianity(Majority of the Osci-Rite) at 22.1%, Judaism(Mostly Orthodox or Secular) at 9.4%, Protestantism(Various denominations using many rites) at 7.5%, Sonicrism at 6%, Islam(Mostly Sunnis following the Maliki maddhab) at 5.3% and Other(mostly irreligious, atheists, agnostics) at 3.5%. This is the most diverse the nation has been since the 1400's. During the 20th century, Catholics amounted to 67% and the trend was upwards until the 1950's, however mass conversion rates, mostly to other sects of Christianity, as well as Judaism and Islam have significantly reduced the share of Catholics in the past century.

In absolute numbers, this is the number of adherents per religion.

Catholic Christianity: 22,272,465
Orthodox Christianity: 10,895,551
Judaism: 4,629,301
Protestant Christianity: 3,694,391
Sonicrism: 2,955,513
Islam: 2,610,703
Others: 1,724,628

Those numbers are testament to the religious tolerance of the republic. However, what is to be noted is that the Catholic Belt splits the nation in half, mostly concentrated around Poma, Bresca(especially the south side) and Vorona(which also happen to be the nation's richest and most important centers). Orthodox Christians tend to live in Brulli or around Canzaria, thus are split into both corners of the nation. Jewish people form a majority in Castelfiorano(due to proximity to Silver Beach). Muslims tend to live close to Bresca(its northern side) and form a continuum with Juvencus' center of islam which is centered around Cordoba, otherwise they are spread through the nation. Sonicrists and Protestants form a minority all across the nation, however there are small pockets and villages all over the nation which mostly adhere to these two. Irreligious people mostly live in urban centers where they constitute a minority. Very rarely are there cities that are mixed, with the exception of Bresca(with a Catholic plurality and strong Islamic minority), as well as Canzaria(An even 50/50 split between Catholics and Orthodox) itself, however sectarian violence is unheard of in the last few years due to efforts of the natives to espouse a more unified Osci identity.

Such pride is there in the identity of the Osci that naming traditions usually do not go by religion but by ethnic identification instead. Thus, many Jewish and Muslim individuals have traditionally Christian surnames and tend not to have too obviously Jewish or Muslim first names a lot of the time.

Lastly, Oscioru is dotted by many pilgrimage points important to Christians, Jewish and Muslims among others. Many monasteries, graves and other spots with confirmed miracles(such as crying or bleeding icons, perfectly preserved Bibles after major destructions, healings) for all Christians. Caves where it is believed by the local Jewish minority that holy people heard the voice of G-d. Important villages which were previously destroyed in fires but the Qurans remained intact in those spots have become important places of pilgrimage for Muslims. It is considered to be one of the holiest lands in all of the multiverse and teachings are to be found in many secluded and sometimes even crowded areas. Thus, the reason for such a religious diversity can be clear to the onlooker.

Osci-Rite Catholicism: Developed in the lands that constitute modern-day Oscioru during the Papi Orientali period to distinguish the region from the much more split Juven Catholics in their north and promote an early ethnic unity. It has bled in pockets or regions of Juvencus' south, southwest and east as well, usually performed in the middle-era Sudjuven dialect of Juven language. In OOC terms, if Catholic it is directly affected by Eastern Catholicism of the Byzantine Rite and much resembles a Greek Orthodox mass but performed in what could be medieval Castillan. If Orthodox, look at the aforementioned.

Sonicrism: Native Sonnelian religion that spread into Suntae through Revoda Sea trade with Drawkians. It never really picked off in the lands, but always had a strong minority presence in Suntae.

Pomena-Rite Catholicism: Developed in Pomena by the Papal Seat itself all throught the existence of Christianity in the region but picked up its special character during the 7th century AD. It is the most spread Rite of service in Juvencus, small pockets of Eastern Oscioru as well as wherever there is Juven presence in Sonnel, primarily in Al Qurija and Montagnaverde. It is performed in the medieval version of the Pomen language, a precursor of the Pomenienze dialect of the Juven language. In OOC terms, your typical Catholic Latin Rite service and mass, though with some middle ages Tuscanese sprinkled in.

[Loyo]

The Founding of Loyo League Football

Loyo's most promising attempt at a football league was created when PNSC support for football was cut, resulting in the nation's footballers (Mostly semi-professionals) moving to areas where the game was still popular and supported, most notably in the special economic zone cities, Sayosona and Mitsuda. 6 clubs gobbled up talent over the following years, finally gathering together to form a loose association called Loyo League Football. Not a very creative name, is it?

The competition's prize pool rewards nothing but victory. Only clubs that finish in the top three will receive guaranteed money, and the 3rd place award is merely a pittance.

Post Season Awards

1st Place - 550,000 Loyomarks (Pays a subsistence wage to 8 full-time players for a year)
2nd Place - 125,000 Loyomarks (Pays a subsistence wage to 1 full-time player and 2 semi-professional players for a season)
3rd Place - 50,000 Loyomarks (Pays a subsistence wage to 2 semi-professional players for a season)

Manager of the Year (Voted for by the league's managers) - 25,000 Loyomarks

Most players are still amateurs, with only key players receiving full-time positions that offer a subsistence lifestyle. Many of the league's best players still have to make do with semi-professional contracts, sometimes finding work at the companies associated with their club's owners. Despite the challenges, as Sayosona and Mitsuda continue their development, everyone involved in the league looks for that growth to offer new opportunities to lands outside of Loyo, a country that looks bleak for football prospects. The future of the sport depends on the owners, who control the levers for the Loyon football machine, a mechanism that looks cobbled together, prone to instability, and desperately in need of proper stewardship.

The owners of the founding clubs have voting rights according to their initial levels of financing in the league. The owner of Illusama International Football Club Konno Chiasa holds the distinction of holding the most sway in the organization with a 32% stake. How did he manage to get there? He financed owners Jun Nbou of Nambrea and Hayden Schmid of Kinnard for eight and seven percent of their stake, of course!

Konno Chiasa is Loyo’s first billionaire, a demonstration of the power of Sayosona’s economic development since the country opened to the world. Chiasa’s wealth comes from his ownership in Ibara Holdings, a conglomerate that controls Susumu Telecommunications, Solina Group (A data analytics company) Sayosona Infrastructure Holdings and, the crown jewel in his business empire — Xiaodan Dockingston, which operates businesses in the shipping, retail, logistics and energy industries.

Ownership Shares of Loyo League Football

Konno Chiasa, Illusama I.F.C. - 32%
Klavdiya Dmitrieva, Club Sokorinovas - 18%
Mienard Protz III, Khanheuser - 18%
Mengyao Kang, Mitsuda City Red Cloud - 15%
Hayden Schmid, Kinnard - 9%
Jun Nbou, Nambrea - 8%

Because of the distribution of voting power, the minority shareholders only agreed to join the league if voting decisions were passed with a 60% majority, requiring at least three clubs to agree to a decision.

The voting dynamics already appear to be tense, as a rivalry has developed between Konno Chiasa and Club Sokorinovas’ Klavdiya Dmitrieva. Dmitrieva is younger than Chiasa by 37 years, but the 39-year-old certainly has taken lessons from him in developing her own conglomerate in Mitsuda, Shenyuan Infrastructure, which has grown to control a majority of energy and water services in the region surrounding Mitsuda.

Still, the disproportionate ownership of Chiasa means that he needs only 9% of the remaining votes in any decision to block anything he doesn't like. He can get that by influencing just one other owner to vote alongside him, excluding poor Jun Nbou. Chiasa, for his part, has acknowledged the existing challenges in the league structure:

”I think it’s likely that clubs will fold. There’s not enough money in this country for the sport right now. I say it as it is! But that’s what they like about me… You need to see what the market wants. You know, there’s a lot of competition with these new baseball clubs coming in, it's possible the whole thing goes belly-up.

We’ve got a limited opportunity, a short window of time to take advantage of. The world cup qualifying is coming soon, and that means more eyes on the sport than ever before. There are so many people, so MANY people! — that are still enthralled in the story of Han Tamada’s success in Loyo’s international debut. We just have to enthrall them in the story of this small league — this groundfloor, startup culture league of teams that could be the start of a football revolution in this country!

I’m excited, that’s the truth. It’s everything I love: You see who’s smart, who’s got the creativity to make do in a tough situation, cut the crap, and tighten the pursestrings until they bleed! Look at this guy — Jun Nbou. Some nobody from Hanseong! A son of a son who fought during the revolution, he gets to Sayosona and starts a business for medical devices, and boom — he’s richer than who knows what. I tell you I’d buy his business, it’s that good. Thing is, he’s always loved football, big fan of Loyo’s team, and he played it in college. So he takes over a local ball club, some small community thing I don’t remember, renamed it Nambrea and starts shoveling money into the thing. Just shoving it into the fire, no return — These things aren’t cheap!

So he gets a whole lot of players, some of them good, others don’t work out. But he’s trying things, he’s looking at it from different perspectives and then by the time we get this whole league thing idealized, he comes to me for the opportunity to take part in owning part of this league. Imagine that, someone who comes to you, a real business leader, and he’s wanting to take on debt to take a chance on this thing — this sport that's 3rd or 4th in terms of fan support even in Sayosona! That's the passion that people have for this.

So all that to say, I think now’s a great time to get into Loyo football, no matter the risk!"

- Konno Chiasa, interviewing with the Sayosona Standard

[Kamijiro]

Keigo, Spence and the teenage revolution in Kamijiro

The current political atmosphere in Kamijiro is tense. Last year, Emperor Kaminari abdicated and vanished into the night with his top aide after a civil war went entirely wrong for Miraisaki. Turns out, picking a fight with your surrounding neighbors is a generally bad idea. After that, Lt. Col. Misaki Sugawara came into power. And she was ruthless. Crushed dissent, tried to re-up the Miraisaki effort against their neighboring departments. But that failed. And she was executed for it, though she did try to wiggle her way out of the noose. Figuratively and literally. She first said she was acting on orders from the Emperor, but they saw right through that one. Then she tried the 'acting under the best interests of the Empire' argument. That also didn't work. Then she tried to pin it on her subordinates. All of that failed and she got the rope.

The ensuing power vacuum at the top of Miraisaki, the political and financial powerhouse of the nation, was immense. The chaos that unfurled shortly after, with the political parties of the newly-reformed Parliament scrambling to put up a Prime Minister candidate and the old establishment of royalty being desolved as anything more than figureheads (especially because the only eligible heir, Kaminari II, is an infant and was abandoned by his father during his midnight escape). However, the kids are just so over it. The entire country is, really. The Chamonix delegation to the nation's capital didn't even bother coming back to Parliament, leaving forty-seven seats empty. The voting turnout for youth aged 18-25 in the first election post-war was an abyssmal 17.75%. By comparison, the 26-39 group was 51.66% and the 40-65 group was 67.88%. Political apathy is the new cool. Most college students, when asked why they didn't vote, simply said: "who cares?"

The teenage revolution - not caring is cool. So, where do the National Team's teenagers fall on this scale? Clearly, you have to care about something to be good about it. Keigo Nakaji and Spence Williams are about as lax as can be about most things, despite being a Kamijiro Cup Player of the Tournament winner and a Premier League Golden Boot winner respectively. Off the pitch, Spence spends most of his time either kicking a ball around non-chalantly or at one of the many clubs in St. Jerome. Keigo, on the other hand, is still 17 and can't do much of the various things his teammates can do off the pitch. This has lead to Keigo paying Sōji to buy booze for him, which lead to both of them running laps for an entire practice when Raiji found out about it. Not because he dislikes alcohol, quite the opposite, he adores it - but because the scandal if they got caught. Last thing they need is another "Sōji Kokubun caught smoking a cigarette outside of a hotel" incident. Yes, the Kamijiro press is that rabid that they'll grab at a straw that insignificant.

However, when does non-chalant go too far? Keigo demonstrated that pretty well when his first two appearances off the bench were so bad that he wasn't even named as a sub for the third match, instead being left as a reserve. Spence shanked an open net against Farfadillis that would've brought the Lightning back within striking distance and then missed another opportunity against Middle Alba that would've put the match away. It's been much more of the old guard propping up the Kamijiroans than the youngsters. Maybe that's to be expected, considering the core of this team took the nation to the Round of 32 at the last World Cup.

But maybe caring should be cool, after all. Because once Keigo and Spence got their rude awakening in practice (Raiji singling them out in front of the whole squad) and then in the dressing room (Katsu saying that they weren't ever going to amount to shit if they didn't learn how to act), the finally got their shit together. Spence scored the winner against The August Islands off of a Keigo assist and despite neither of them speaking the same language (Keigo speaks terrible English and is entirely Japanese-speaking, Spence only speaks English), celebrated like they'd known each other their whole lives. Kamijiro bounced back from their hitch-step to start the World Cup qualifiers, rising from eighth after matchday two to third after matchday four. And if Keigo and Spence have found their footing? That Kamijiro bench just got much, much deeper.

[Audioslavia]

The Regional Cup That Went Insane
Written: April 2025

These days, we have six active regional-level competitions. The Independent Associations Championship is one, and five different sporting regions hold their own. There’s the old guard of Rushmore and Esportiva, the relative newbies of Anaia and Arrosia and a persistent if attenuated Mandalanusa. Atlantian Oceania were, until recently, the longest running active regional, holding its most recent edition in 2021, having only missed a handful of cycles since their inception, 17 years prior.

If you’d asked me, last week, what the first Regional Cup was, I’d have said the AOCAF Cup. Middle of 2004. There aren’t many more candidates. Rushmore wasn’t founded until 2006 and didn’t host a tournament until 2010. The Heartland used to be considered a ‘sports’ region, but never managed to run one regional cup to the end. FIFA were another proto-sports region, but held only one regional cup, and did so in about 2006. The AOCAF Cup seems like the obvious answer.

Perusing through some threads from the early thirties, I noticed the AOCAF Cup held its 20th edition in summer 2007. Around the same time, the region of Lancre was holding its 17th and, so it turned out, final, edition.

I dug a little deeper to figure out which of these competitions was actually older.

The AOCAF Cup was inaugurated on June 8th 2004, The Lancre Cup held its first edition on June 24th.

June 24th 2003.

It pre-dates the Baptism of Fire. It pre-dates the Cup of Harmony. It pre-dates the use of seeded double round-robin qualifying for the World Cup. It pre-dates Audioslavian football. Its first edition was held during World Cup 3.

And this isn’t some Western-Isles style own-universe non-canon competition where the players know nothing of the NS World Cup. Steel Shadows participated in early Lancre Cups and had also done well enough in World Cup 3 to automatically qualify for World Cup 4. That’s how old the Lancre Cup is: When it was starting out, we were still letting the top six in the world rankings auto-qualify for the next cup.

Granted, experiencing success didn’t necessarily mean Steel Shadows even knew what football even was.

is this football or soccer..er..football?

Steel Butterfly, 2003-06-24. Lancre Cup thread.

We can learn almost nothing about the Lancre Cup from its thread in the archives. Gallingly, it appears all results and standings of the first handful of Lancre Cups were edited into the OP of the thread and, naturally, over-written whenever new results were generated.

We do, however, have their website, along with a very old wiki entry which tells us a few things about this ancient competition.

What we learn is this: The Lancre Cup, like the World Cup and all other tournaments in the very early stages of NS Sport, had some weird habits. Like the World Cup, it started life using dice. Like the World Cup, it took a few cycles for them to adopt a new system to separate the good teams from the bad. According to regional leader (and all-round Good Egg) Sirocco, it’s “too boring” to explain. Or, as they put it:

The way the scoring system (co-designed by Sirocco and Bellenia) works is complicated, as it was wanted for the scores to be as realistic as possible (though nations do frequently score upwards of four goals). An even more complicated system was devised so that nations that performed well in previous Cups would have an advantage in the next one. … This was devised by an ex-nation called Bellenia and it solved many problems - now not only would there be more consistency to results, it wouldn't be so strict that the best teams always won and the worst ones always lost - even the most abysmal of Lancre teams can make it through to the big time if they're lucky.

The details of this scoring is too boring to put here, but those interested are free to contact Sirocco or Dregruk for details.

:- Goobergunch.net article on The Lancre Cup

They aren’t around to be asked for details, but we did some digging.

Naturally, the problem they were posed with was the same the NS World Cup had to figure out. Some teams are better than others, but how much better? And better how? And how? The Lancrean solution promoted by Bellenia and Sirocco is simple. Perhaps too simple. It lacks that Progressan hyper-nerd influence.

How about something like:

if you were in the quarterfinals last time you get +1 to the goals rolled and the opposition gets -1 (cancelling if both were and not going below zero obviously)

if you were in the semis you get +2 and they get -1

if you were in the final you get +2 and they get -2

Or something - not sure if the figures make it too biased.

So if someone who was in the final plays someone in the semi and the score is 3 all under the current system it modifies to 4 - 3 in favour of the previous finalist. (finalist gets 3 + 2 -1 and semi-finalist gets 3 - 2 + 1).

May turn out too complicated…

:- Bellenia 2003-10-13

Hmm... so if you were in the final last time, you'd get at least two goals in your match?

:- Sirocco 2003-10-13

I guess so - do you think that makes it too unfair?
Actually they wouldn't automatically get at least 2 goals because if they were playing the other finalist the penalty would cancel the bonus.

:- Bellenia 2003-10-14

Bellenia, I like those ideas and I think I probably will incorporate that into Lancre Cup VI!

:- Sirocco 2003-10-17

Even more strangely, it appears the job of writing up what happened in each match was the job of the host, and not the contestants. The NS Sport community considered 2023’s ‘No-RP World Cup’ an abomination, but it turns out to have a precedent from the pre-YouTube era.

Results from early tournaments are hard to come by, but we can take the write-up of second Lancre Cup final as an example of what one could expect from a typical game in the tournament.

The second Lancre cup came to a conclusion this afternoon. The much awaited final between Lingfieldgamblers and Stuland got under way under the blazing sun just after 3pm. The kick-off was delayed due to some Lingfieldgambler supporters protesting over the furore between their nation and Sodarules which was reported here last week, but a football stadium is no place for protests and they were eventually calmed down and the game got under way. An un-enthralling first half finished with the game still goalless, but the second half started as if a rocket had gone off. Within three minutes of the restart Stuland were two goals up with two powerful headers, both coming from corners on the right. The game stayed that way until the last fifteen minutes. Lingfieldgamblers just weren't penetrating the Stuland defence in this final, but in the seventy-fifth minute Dyer was fouled 20 yards from the opposing goal. Up stepped Shearer, who had been having an anonymous game up till that point. The free-kick was hit sweetly and the Stuland goalkeeper was left stranded as the ball flew into the top left hand corner. With the bit now firmly between their teeth, Lingfieldgamblers pushed relentlessly towards the other goal. Their late efforts were rewarded with two minutes remaining when an amazing Bellamy run into the box saw him poke the ball under the keeper to make it all even.
At that, it looked as if we were heading into extra-time, but two minutes into injury time Lingfieldgamblers won a corner. It was taken by Dyer and to the agony of the Stuland goalkeeper the ball swirled in the air and came in at the near post before hitting off the crossbar and crossing the line. The final whistle was blown just after the game kicked off leaving Stuland no time to reply. So jubilation in the land of Lingfieldgamblers and dejection for Stuland.

LINGFIELD LINE-UP; Given, Dyer, Bernard, Jenas, Hughes, Bowyer, Woodgate, Bellamy, Bramble, Shearer, Vianna

:- Sirocco. 2003-07-20

By multiversal standards, it’s a reasonably straightforward game. Sure, the winner was a last-minute olimpico and one team had the disadvantage not only of needing to come back from two goals down but having to do so with the 02/03 season Newcastle United first XI, but it’s at least identifiably a football score and the football looks like the sort of footbally football you’d get in a football match.

Compare and contrast with this quarter-final match from Lancre Cup 12, three years later.

Tonca vs GROEGER vs LostLotheria

The fourth game, a product of the [host’s] lack of previous experience at planning anything other then their own breakfast, was scheduled to be played across town at the Center Town Park. The park had the only patch of grass big enough for the misshapen monstrosity of the three way field and its stands.

Surprisingly, this game was one of the hardest tickets in town to get. Everyone wanted to be there, just to say they had been there at the only (hopefully) three way soccer game ever played. Well, everyone wanted to be there but the referees, who were steadfastly refusing to consider the idea.

The teams seemed to love the idea. There were secret meetings about alliances. There were even more secret meeting about breaking alliances. There were top secret meetings about how the coin toss was going to work at the beginning (three to one betting on a special three sided coin). But, finally, it was time to play.

Tonca and LostLotheria started out working together. Tonca would distract GROEGER while LostLotheria would score, and then the other was around. This seemed a highly effective way to play, but it was too good to last.

After the half, LostLotheria came out supporting GROEGER. The Tonca captain screamed "TRAITERS!" The Crowds heads whipped, wimbledon like, to the LostLotheria Captain, who yelled "EX-delegate!" It was generally agreed to be a good, but not great insult, but LostLotheria won, so it was excused.

Tonca 4, GROEGER 3, LostLotheria 7

Yesnono. 2005-10-11

Followers of World Cup Scorigami would be shocked enough by the fact that the tournament winner, Sirocco, managed 8-5, 9-5 and 8-7 wins in the quarters, semis and final of the tournament. I don’t think anyone could handle the prospect of having to add a whole new dimension to The Scorigami Chart to accommodate a 7-4-3 win.

What if we had to make the scorigami chart 3D?

For citizens of Lancre, this brand of psychedelic football had become the norm. What held their mouths agog in the 12th edition of their tournament was not the scoring, or even the triangle match, but the controversy surrounding the game between Sunstate and Bongostan.

As the Sunstate team took the field there were vast mutterings in the stadium. "Why do they have a penguin playing for them?"
"It must be their national critter…"
"Their national critter? But it's our national critter! CRITTER THIEVES!!"
Eventuality settled down and decided unanimously to root for the "cute little penguin" playing.

Which made the ending that much more tragic.

It was 0-0 late in the game , Sunstate was pressing hard when a Bongostan player attempted to steal the ball from the penguin.

He managed to steal both the ball and the penguin.

The ref later explained, "Look, two roll-y black and white thingies go into the goal, two goals. That's how it works."

LCOC(Y) fired the refs immediately. The Yesnono Parliament is currently considering getting an army, so it can consider a war against Bongostan "to teach them not to mess with penguins."

Sunstate 0, Bongostan 2

:-Yesnono 2005-09-26

So what was the controversy? The declaration of all-out war? No. The referee awarding goals punitively? The fact that the ref apparently didn’t know the word ‘goal’ and had to improvise with a whole sentence? No.

One matchday later:

Bongostan vs. Sliponia

"Penguin Kickers!" jeered part of the crowd.
"Yeah you cruelty to animal people… um, meanies!" tried a lone voice from the crowd.
"Hey, you suck at jeering!" they responded. As the crowd continued yelling at the crowd, the game began almost unnoticed.

Bongostan started out well, outscoring Sliponia 3-2 in the first half, but the constant animosity of the crowd was wearing them down. After the half, the Bongostan player who had scored in the first round attempted to explain himself to the unruly mob.

"Look… I didn't mean to kick him. It's not like he got very hurt… I was going for the ball. As for dribbling him down the field, well, he's black and white, and the little guy doesn't weight much, so I didn't notice."

"Inattentive critter kicker!" came from the stands, sparking an "ARGGGggg" from the player as he ran off the field headed for Bongostan.

We learned just before printing that he was arrested at the Yesnono boarder for failure to have identification other then his jersey.

Bongostan 3, Sliponia 6

:-Yesnono 2005-10-5

A natural cause of this athlete-on-penguin violence happened in edition fourteen, with the signing up of a team of furious, murderous and often downright rude penguins. At least, some of them were penguins. Some of them were horrors that would struggle to be classified as ‘eldritch’. Others would fail even to be considered euclidean.

Raging Penguins Team Roster:

Breif Bio's of the Wierd, Inept and Insane team:

ABSOLUT LUNATIC - Escaped from the Raging Penguin Asylum for the Dangerously Disturbed, and the Asylum refused to let him back in, so he was naturally placed in the football team. He regularly drinks a mixture of vodka, crude oil, and tar.

Furious Porridge - Probably the most mentally-stable, normal person on the team, Furious Porridge is an excellent Football player, and thus recieves the lowest paycheck.

The Penguin: Not a penguin at all, The Penguin is a mentally unstable, human ex-marine, who left the Rage-Peng Army Vet Center and joined the team. He stole the team mascot's costume, which he wears at all times. He even puts his jersey on over it. The captain of the team, The Penguin often orders bayonet charges, and as such, the entire team carries spears, rifles, or extendable poles on their persons during and in between matches.

DMYS - Dubious Mobile Yellow Slime(DMYS for short) is an extremely mobile, somewhat intelligent slime mold, mutated by extremely common chemical spills, and uranium feul rods carelessly discarded in the nearest swamp. Stretched out, DMYS can form a two foot high wall from one side of the pitch to the other(the width, not the length of the pitch). Originally chosen as the Goalkeeper, DMYS has instead been moved to Defencive position due to its ability to make opponants trip, slip, and lose the ball(or their legs).

Arnold Flitchy - Arnold Flitchy is a long-standing member of the team. Having originally been the Mascot, his Costume was stolen by The Penguin, and Arnold was replaced as Mascot by seven real Raging Penguins. His contract to the team, however, was still in effect, and he was givin the choice of becoming a player or a ball, and has been playing ever since.

The CHAMPION!!!!! - The CHAMPION!!!!! is an over-wieght man who joined the team to be a “Blocker”. After signing the contract, he found out that Football in Raging Penguins was not played with an oblong ball, and that you did not tackle your opponents. Much to his chagrin, he realized too late that it was a round ball that was being played with and that you shot, stabbed, and strangled your opponants. He still, however, is used as a blocker by other players. His real name is unkown, as he insists upon being called "The CHAMPION!!!!!".

Fnab-Fnab - Fnab-Fnab was once the Iron-Fisted, Tyrannical Dictator of a small, smelly, and utterly foriegn country. After a week of vacation in Raging Penguins, he boarded a small private jet which was supposed to send him home. However, it was not his small, private jet, but was instead the Football team’s jet, and Fnab-Fnab has been with the team ever since.

Mrs. Tweezly - After living most of her adult life as a School teacher in a Middle School, Mrs. Tweezly retired - and joined the Football team. She is one of the more tempermental members of the team, and will go berserk at the thought of students chewing gum during a game. A formidable sight on the field, Mrs. Tweezly has a meter-stick in her right hand at all times, and is armed with an extremely severe Look, which can strike an organism down at twelve paces.

Mostly Mouths - Mostly Mouths, or MM, as he is known, is a product of the over-breeding of large-mouthed Troglodytes, a commercial race living in the mountains of Raging Penguins. Mostly Mouths is an inatriculate Mouth on short, stumpy legs. He has two eyes, although nobody knows where they are, no ears, no nose, no arms, no vital organs, and like most Troglodytes, no brain. He does have an enourmous mouth, however, and eats almost every football kicked towars him.

Derek Snaddly - Derek Snaddly is a door-to-door salesman; cunning, dangerous, and not to be trifled with. He plays Football for the team as well.

Willie Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair - Willie Dee was once a regular boy, playing football on weekends with his mates. Then, one fateful day, he applied a radioactive hair-gel to maintain his large afro, and overnight, it gained a violent and carnivorous mind of its own. Utterly immune to scissors, fire, or hats, his hair has stayed put, and has grown. Currently, his Hair is out of jail on bail, after being jailed-along with the innocent Willie Dee- on charges of Assault and Battery, resisting arrest, and devouring a policeman. The no verdict has been issued, as the bodies have not been recovered yet. His Extremely Dangerous Hair was hired to play as Goalie, due to its agility, and ability to deflect - or devour - incoming balls. Willie Dee just happened to come with the deal.

:- Raging Penguins. 2006-01-06

A door-to-door salesman turning out for a professional international football team? Well now you’re just being silly.

Raging Penguin’s use of a Slime Mould may be inspired by region-mates Dregruk, whose team were nicknamed ‘The Slimy Things’ and whose players were… well… slimy… things. Oh, except for the walking heavy battle tank, which was called George.

Dregruk -
Anyway. Our team this year will feature the recently developed, "Slimy Stabby Thiing #19" as well as an updated George (this Cup sporting a rather magnificent hat and heavy machine-gun). Also, we refuse to respond to claims that we've been setting up artillery on the roof of the Dregruk embassy in Yesnono that have been loaded with footballs... And, yes, it IS "Slimy Stabby Thiing" with two i's in "thiing". It reflects upon its impressive nature.

Raging Penguins -
Whomever plays the Raging Penguins Team, Please, PLEASE find a way to kill them all. They are a major drain on the federal budget, and our team is also the reason our armies' technology dates back to neolithic eras untouched by archaeologists...
But be careful of the goal keeper, or rather, be careful of his hair, it Bites, and is currently out on bail after devouring a policeman, and several unlucky hobos...

:- Yesnono

Raging Penguins’s first foray into Lancre Cup football would be less than fruitful. Their first-round 5-1 loss to Crista West coming due to being somewhat short-handed for their game.

Raging Penguins vs. Crista West

Crista West had a grand plan to reach the second round. It was grand because of it's simplicity. They called the Yesnono City police, and asked them to watch the Raging Penguins team practice. The Police were hesitant to get involved in the Cup, but once they recognized the one called "ABSOLUT LUNATIC" (striker) as the perpetrator of a raid on a bar / mechanic's shop they checked the rest against the most wanted list.

Raging Penguins ended up fielding a team of three; the two innocent players Furious Porridge, Arnold Flitchy, and the Slime Mold, which hadn't fit into the handcuffs. The rest were handed over to the Raging Penguins' Ambassador, who tried to refuse to take them.

Raging Penguins 1, Crista West 5

:- Yesnono

In edition 15, they actually managed a win, defeating former Lancre Cup champions and World Cup mainstays Sliponia in their first game.

Sliponia vs. Raging Penguins
Willy Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair strangled anyone who came close to the goal, including his own teammates. After he killed about five people on each side, he took the ball and sat in the opposing goal until the match was over.
Raging Penguins 1, Sliponia 0

:- Anyland 2006-05-23

Encouraged, they made the decision to take their violence global. How did they announce their intention to sign up for the World Cup? On their sign-up thread? No. They used their blog. Their RL-states blog.

No, really

-Bloco'yce City

The Team, our nations collection of criminals, lunatics and unwanted people, has entered into the World Cup. While it is not as violent as The Lancre Cup, it is held in countries far away from ours, and if possible, The Team may just end up without tickets home. They are up against formidable foes: Rejistania, Spaam, Ariddia, as well as some others we've never heard of, but will probably lose to anyway. After the expulsion(and imprisonment) of Midfielder Derrick Snaddley, and the tragic loss of The CHAMPION!!!! in a suspicious case of cyanide poisoning, The Team is even less coordinated than usual.

However, as the players luggage was being passed through airport security, it appeared that The Team has not lost its homicidal touch. Items confiscated from one bag alone - Defense player Fnab Fnab's - were listed as:
1 small box of grenades,
3 small revolvers
1 EZ-Boom™ inflatable stealth bomber(Model 12)
19 land mines
1 issue of a trashy teen magazine

The Team is still trying to adjust to the rules which state that: You cannot bring howitzers onto the pitch, nor may your use aerial bombing to defeat the opposition. However, as The Team had managed to score 1 point against the entire Cristia West Team with only three players, they may not lose too badly. We trust that by the time they actually arrive at their destination, somebody will have discovered the large arsenal of weapons hidden inside Mostly Mouths' enormous jowels.

- Terra Phirma, Sports correspondentt. Raging Penguins.

They found their opening forays in the tournament tough going.

The Team Loses as expected, But still Nobody dead

-The Team opened up their first World Cup with a rather spectacular loss, which was the result of a long game which displayed excellent teamwork(by The Emperialist team) and several stunning plays. As the Emperialist players swiftly worked their way towards the goal, the ball was almost always stolen by either DMYS, or Mostly Mouths(who is being fined nearly 500 Curses for damages - namely: seven footballs within the first half, and five more the second), and being sent up to Furious Porridge. Porridge consistently maneuvered the ball to the enemy goal, where ABSOLUT LUNATIC consistently wandered in front of the shot just as it soared towards an open space.

The Emperialist players finally got past the voracious defense-players and scored, causing Devious Penguin to fly into one of the infamous 'Penguin Rages' which gave them their name. He was brought down by tranquilizer dart just inches from one of Emperialist' star forwards, and was carted off the field in 4-inch chains(a bit thinner than regulation size, but the penguin didn't wake up for another half-hour).

]:-Raging Penguins 2006-04-29

The World Cup is something that you can grow into, especially if you are a slime mould, and after only two points from their first six games (admittedly against Spaam and Rejistania, both 0-0) they finally scored a goal and won a game.

Memo From: Ronald E. Perf, Head of the Dept. of Outragious Taxation and Financial Debt
To: John Rashtart, Head of the Dept. of Criminal Management
Subject: The Team wins?

I saw an article in the National Informant today, which claimed that The Team, that expensive group of crimes against humanity, had beaten the team from The Emperialist.

Who the Hell let them win? You know what victory on their part will mean for my department: Loss of Happy Hour Money! Your department is in charge of those creeps, and you assured me that they would not wina single game in this entire World Cup. You guarenteed that they'd lose - in fact, you wasted an hour of my time describing why they would lose, and how your department had set that up!
And now they Win?!
I want to know who was in charge of that little blunder, I want to know who he is, and what his position is. And then I want him fired and Blcaklisted. Understand?
Our treasury cannot afford to spend any more money on The Team, and if we get another request saying that "MM ate all of our equipment, buy us more', I will see to it that you get lower wages.
If The Team wins again, whey'll probably do it by blowing the other team up, and that would mean war, something we can't afford.

Sincerely,
Ronald E. Perf,
Head of The Department of Outragious Taxation and Financial Debt

:- Raging Penguins 2006-6-5

Scoring a goal and grabbing a win turns out to be a complete disaster for the nation. As it turns out, the better the team do, the more embarrassed the nation is over just how violent and murderous their players are. As such, by World Cup 31, the nation has completely severed ties with the team. They are not to be known as ‘Raging Penguins’, only as ‘The Team’.

We repeat, The Team should never be represented by Raging Penguins, or vice-versa. The Not-So-Grand Dutchy of Raging Penguins has cut all and any ties with The Team, in an effort to avoid war with any and all national teams The Team may play/kill.

:- Raging Penguins 2006-10-18

So it’s a disaster when they start actually winning football games. Not just beating them with their fists and truncheons and flippers, but beating them at the game of football as well.

And it’s doubly a disaster when they win enough games to qualify for the World Cup.

The Bloco'yce Courier

Oh, Shit.

[This edition of The Bloco'yce Courier was not printed with any articles, due to the massive rioting that resulted in the destruction of the Courier's presses. We apologise for the inconvenience.]

:- Raging Penguins 2006-11-06

[Fr: The Raging Penguins Emergency Commitee for Crowd and Foreigner Control
[To: The World Cup 31 ViLC Organizing Commitee
[Subj: The Team

To whomever your head chappie is, or whomever it is who may be concerned. Due to a most unfortunate calamity, The Team will not be competing in your most well hosted tournament-playoff-contest-thingy. Earlier today, during the wee hours of the morning, while The Team was just only waking(with the exception of Deadly Penguin, who insists upon waking at five in the morning to execise his "Peng-Chi" whatever that may be a euphemism for), a freak accident occured.

Namely, a Freak Carpet-Bombing-Followed-By-Tactical-Nukes-Napalm-And-Genetically-Modified-Ninjas Accident.

This is the third time in Raging Penguins' long history of unfortunate accidents that this type has occured, only this time there was higher grade napalm and more ninjas. We offer our condolences to all the teams which have been humiliated, mutilated, and otherwise bothered by The Team during that grueling qualification process, and extend our heartfelt congratulations to the Snarks, or whatever they're called, from Quakmybush, on what we have come to understand is their right to qualification.

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience, the hassle this will undoubtably cause, the paperwork, and the waves of deadly nuclear radiation from the tactical nukes.

Sincerely,
Mr. Edward Crabbly,
President of The Raging Penguins Emergency Commitee for Crowd and Foreigner Control

:- Raging Penguins 2006-11-07

Raging Penguins had qualified for World Cup 31 but, as is their right, The Team decided to withdraw from the competition.

The final Lancre Cup, held in 2007, was the competition’s second and final reboot. The competition was aborted after the second ‘heat’. Bewilderingly, the Lancre Cup insisted on using ‘heat’ instead of ‘group’ from its first to its final incarnation.

The final matchday of the tournament includes Austria Prussia murdering their opponents’ entire team before kickoff, and then being thoroughly outplayed by their opponents’ backup team, only going into half-time 2-0 up due to a forcefield protecting their goal. The side then forgot they were changing ends at half-time, surrendering the forcefield to their opponents, and desperately clung on for a 2-1 win. Elsewhere, Degruk’s slimy things defeated Bla Alb 3-0, a win so captivating that the players of their puppet nation, Degruk Empire, forgot to turn up for their own match. Opponents RI had trouble remembering which goal was theirs, what with the lack of an opponent, but still won 3-2. In the final game of the match day, Tonca defeated Hutties by keeping their predatory flying machines busy. How? Unleashing a litter of tiny, cute, but apparently delicious kittens, and scoring while they were distracted by the sudden appearance of snacks.

So long, Lancre, and may god have mercy on your souls.

---

We May Never Concede Again

Not since the days of the Glass Swan have Audioslavian fans been so resolutely sure of their own side's success. On that occasion, the side went the entire second half of qualifying (not including a defeat to Squornshelous that we don't mention) conceding zero goals in all but one game - and that a 5-2 win. It should have been enough to qualify for World Cup 93 outright, but one of those shut-outs was a scoreless draw which dropped the side below rivals Squornshelous, and the side would succumb to Pemecutan in the playoffs.

On that occasion, a reconstructed crystal swan was supposedly behind Audioslavia's 'unbeatables' streak of, oh, just under a dozen games. Now, in the cold light of cycle 99, we can see the errors of our past ways. The glass swan was a red herring. Confusingly enough.

This time, though. This time we're definite that Audioslavia's national team will never, ever concede another goal again.

After three wins from three games, 2-0, 3-0 and 1-0, a 0-0 tie with struggling top-seeds Crpostran gives the Bulls a share of the group lead after only four games. Continuing with the same rich vein of form, conceding zero goals at all, will give the Bulls a fighting chance of qualification, so long as not every game is a nil-nil.

With a longer break than usual in between games, Audioslavia fans are using this opportunity to construct wild theories as to exactly why and how this team became so unbeatable.

One, Trawvis Hawley from Quickburton, Central, has discovered that he is in possession of a blue ballpoint pen that, he claims, has shown the ability to keep writing 'forever', having used it for six weeks non-stop without any sign of stopping. "Same energy" says Hawley. "Ah wait, hang on, yeah this pen's starting to..."

Up north in Jansvej, Tromso Hjalmo has a different theory as to why the Bulls can't concede goals.
"I lost a pair of glasses" says Tromso, 40. "I lost a pair of glasses and they haven't shown up anywhere in my house, even though they should definitely be at my house. The only possible solution is that a portal to the nether-dimension has opened up and the oracle of audioslavian sports has found them and is using them to more accurately oh wait here they are"

Audioslavia continue their campaign against Legendenex next week.

[Indusse]

Hind Tribune
A Good Start?

By Subrato Shahla

The national team of Indusse has begun their World Cup 99 qualification campaign with a strong and entertaining performance, pointing towards a new era of victories and quality play on the international stage. After a few underwhelming campaigns in the past, fans were hopeful heading into the new qualifiers and so far the team has delivered. With three wins in their opening four matches, the Indussean national team have put themselves in a promising position for qualification.

One of the most notable aspects of Indusse’s start has been their impressive defensive form. In their opening three matches whuch were against Xanneria, Kaumann, and Unitarnia, the team managed to keep three consecutive clean sheets. This solid defensive base is something that the squad had been missing in recent tournaments, and it has given them the confidence to push forward and play their natural attacking game. The backline has looked well-organized, with the goalie able to pull off some key saves when needed nd that did give us the results. Three wins, six goals scored, and none conceded in those games has been a dream start for any side aiming to qualify.

Another key highlight of this campaign so far has been the consistent form of the team's cptain Mersias. The hero of the squad has found the net in all four of Indusse’s qualifiers so far, showing that it is not yet time for him to leave the squad. Mersias and his form is proving to be a major asset for the national team, especially at a time when the IFA is planning to look into a new generation of players. But here they faced the blow. Indusse suffered their first defeat in their fourth match, a high-scoring 4–3 loss away to Zwangzug. It was a thrilling match, but also a painful one for Indusse, who had fought hard throughout the match.

The game looked destined for a draw until Zwangzug snatched a dramatic winner in the final minutes, breaking Indusse’s unbeaten run. It was a tough result to accept for the players and fans but even in defeat there has been positives such as the team scoring three goals away from home and continued to show their attacking skills. The late goal was more of a minor mistake which had ended up being serious and the coaching staff has said that they will work on tightening things up in the final moments of matches moving forward.

While the qualifiers are going on, Back home the Indusse Football Association (IFA) has been making headlines with its strategic planning for the future of the national team. Following a rise of new players in the last season in Liga Prime, the IFA is reportedly planning a full overhaul of the national camp setup. Rumours suggest that many of the big names in the squad is likely to lose their spot soon. Part of this broader vision includes expanding the domestic football structure. In a major development, the IFA has confirmed plans to introduce a second division during the upcoming 20th season of Liga Prime.

The early results in the World Cup 99 qualifiers, the emergence of key players like Mersias, and the clear strategic direction from the IFA all suggest that Indusse is finally turning a corner. While the road to qualification is still long, the signs are encouraging. Fans will be hoping that the team can bounce back from the narrow loss to Zwangzug and maintain their momentum in the coming fixtures.

---

poi.in

2h

This is the official cica.da account for Indussean Presidential Office. I urge every Indusseans to use cica.da as their preffered social media handle. I have been a long time user of twit.tur but this seems to be more modern and responsive. #indusse #switchtocicada #bk10

[Aphrilia]

OOC: I ended up liking the way I RPed, will continue.

Two more matches have come to pass, and both you and I can say the team is doing well.

Surely you agree with that, right? I mean, they're currently atop of Group 13, attaining two wins in the most recent two matches. And not only that, it was in true Bianchism V2 style... Well, that's what people here have been calling Leonardo Bianchi's new tactics at least. I personally prefer Neo-Bianchism though... You know what? This is my writing, it's my choice on what to call things. From now on I'm referring to the new tactics that The Anchors use as Neo-Bianchism... Albeit it does sound a bit dystopian.

Hey, people's fault if they can't comprehend the context of what I'm saying. Anyways, Aphrilia atop of Group 13, three wins and one draw. A revenge match victory against The Kytler Peninsulae (Albeit against a mostly new team) and this team looks like it's doing great. Though there is still plenty of worry amongst the general public... Because of course there would be. It's around this time Aphrilia's form last cycle took a deep nosedive. And honestly? I have that fear as well, fear that The Anchors will suddenly crumble all over again.

But I'm willing to bet that The Anchors will face this head on.

Think about it, they were the biggest victims of their own downfall, they're the ones that have things to prove! Why are we being scared, now that I think about it? We should be completely rooting for them! It's all theirs to lose as well as gain, all we can do is give them our support so that they can fight on. Anyways, enough of those ramblings.

How's everybody doing? Honestly, I just got home as of writing this. Our Chemistry teacher sucks ass, like his words are all over the place. But I suppose I am similar in that regard, heh. So yeah, let's just talk about how the actual matches went because that is what I believe you guys want from me. And honestly, unlike the team completely breaking character against Anewkansas by responding to their rough play, we actually played to our own tactics and, well... Kind of dominated? It wasn't total dominance but it was great for us.

Okay, first of all is against The North Polish Union. We won this match by a comfortable two to zero, with Jessica Rhine-Faust scoring from the outside the box with a... I wouldn't say an impressive kick in terms of power. More like it looked as if the ball curved to her whims as it slammed into the bottom right corner. The way she kicked it was also nice. This was around about the 42nd minute mark, which means we Aphrilians had the lead against the Poles by the time the first half ended. Note that this is usually a good sign. Second half comes, we made some changes here and there... And one of those changes resulted in a goal! Theresa Villa scores with a tap-in at the 77th minute. Look I know tap-ins aren't the most flashy or skillful goal, but she's that type of player. It looked as if none of the Polish defenders could block her... It looked ethereal.

Anyways that was just Matchday 3. Matchday 4 was the big one, as we faced off against The Kytler Peninsulae. This was more than just a typical match, this was a revenge match. And an emotional one at that. Both Aphrilia and Kytler Pen (That's what we Aphrilians call them at least, hopefully it isn't offensive in the slightest) had things to prove. We already discussed Aphrilia's path, but Kytler Pen's all about recovery. The Flight 134 tragedy claimed the lives of many players and staff members (May the all rest in peace), thus their team looked completely different to the one The Anchors faced off against in World Cup 97. Two teams with something to prove, two teams in a new era.

And don't let the scoreline fool you, this was a close match.

Not just close, clearly, it was a... Truly emotional one. The two sides had a lot to prove to not just themselves, but to those who continue to support them. The Kytlerians unusually struck first, with Sylvia Villa Rodriguez taking advantage of a gap that was created due to the way the Aphrilians had set up their defense. Just fourteen minutes in and already there was a goal. The Kytlerians had been winning their matches usually by scoring late, but this time they had drawn first blood. That strike didn't last long.

Aphrilia ended up responding with two goals in the first half. On the 25th minute, Ines Forrestal did what she did best and moved out wide with the ball, but instead of cutting inside as usual, she made a cross to just outside the box, where Nathaniel Rosberg was waiting. With a clean shot, he equalized the game. Ten or so minutes later on the 37th minute, The Anchors had won a penalty due to the newly substituted Kevin Lacey (In for Ines Forrestal due to slight injury) being tackled inside the Kytlerian box. Lacey, as the one who was tackled, took the penalty and squared it into the right side. Half-time arrives and it was Aphrilia 2 - 1 The Kytler Peninsulae.

Then in the second half we score a third. 57th minute, Aphrilia was on the counter attack, they rushed the box. With Erick Marshall launching a mean cross into the box, someone had to claim it, and Aphrilia would do that to claim a goal through substituted Shawn Green. It was 3 - 1, and it would stay that way until the end of the game. Three wins, one draw. Ten points, atop Group 13. If you told someone that we'd be here after World Cup Qualifying 98, they might say that you're insane. Perhaps. Who knows.

I'm not being cocky, especially knowing how south things can turn... Your results can flip itself on your head as quickly as it was flipping onto others. This new era of The Anchors was showing good form, they certainly had what it takes to be able to go as far as they possibly could. Solid management, solid players. This was... A heart-aching meeting, to say the least. One of high stakes despite being so early into World Cup Qualifying. There was no banter, no jokes, no anything from the Aphrilian side. Either that be the players or the fans... Because, well, what else were you expecting really? There was a time and a place for things. This was a time for remembrance.

But we have to push forward. You can never stay still forever, as either time pushes you forward or you fall into the abyss.

[Captina Island]

Captina remain perfect atop Group 2
The Captina Company Press Association

The Captina Company National Football Team made it four wins from four played after a pair of dominant 3-0 victories at home and now prepare to travel to Hispinas ahead of the visit of top seeds Farfadillis on matchday 6.

The Rosso e Oro overcame The August Islands and Equestria at The Captina Company Sports Ground, as well as the unseasonable weather, to move into sole leadership of the group as one of just six nations to remain perfect so far in qualifying; strong westerly wind and scattered showers throughout the 90 minutes did little to slow down the hosts in the opening match as Guiseppe Overstreet and Marcella Lillywhite scored inside the first half hour to stake Captina to a 2-0 lead with Lalia D'Isabella adding a third on 75 minutes to wrap up the win, while the following match against Equestria was played in a steady downpour that made pitch conditions heavy but failed to affect the offense as Chastity Dell'Oro gave the home side the lead with a clinical finish before Patience Wedgewood added a second half brace in a 12 minute burst before she was replaced by Oliphant Santoro with a quarter hour left.

Hispinas have scored just once, in their 3-1 defeat to Milchama, but have three 0-0 draws that have them sitting second from bottom in the standings while the World Cup 84 winners from Arrosia will be looking to avenge their last trip to Geneva City while reeling from back to back losses to Warkus and Sangti & the Filindo Isles during the last window. The weather should not be a factor for that match with the forecast calling for a return to more normal temperatures and no rain in sight.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2025
BP in homestand looking for improvement, wins
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

Matchdays 5 & 6 will be a rare home doubleheader for the Commonwealth National Team as Natanians & Nosts at the CONAGCO Stadium in Shirley and Saint Eleanor at the BBP National Stadium will be the visitors as Baker Park will look to keep pace with the surprise Group 6 co-leaders Loyo who have yet to drop points thus far in World Cup Qualifying.

The second match will mark another milestone in this already historic campaign: the 1,200th all time fixture for the National Team, of which this will be the 790th of the mixed gender NSWC era. A victory in Shirley will also present BP with a chance to claim a 650th victory in Belle Haven against the top seeded White Stars, who are also undefeated through the first four matches having conceded just once. The Bees will need to regain the scoring touch that has not been evident since the last home friendly prior to qualifying, also at the BBP versus Quebec & Shingoryeo. as they have yet to tally more than twice in any of the opening four contests.

The upcoming stretch of fixtures has historically been when Baker Park have taken points by the bundle—in 17 previous matches 6 through 10, their record is 62 wins and 16 draws against just 7 losses. Manager Will Barnard will likely begin to lean heavily on his more experienced players over the later stage of this opening half of the schedule, with Leanne Bryant, Claudia Grayson, Rob D'Alessandro, Shonte Logan, Carlton Frost and Fatima Khan all expected to receive more minutes than they've gotten so far.

The use of squad rotation that has been a defining characteristic of the BPNT throughout the mixed gender era has allowed for the development of a deep player pool, as evidenced by the 50+ names that currently comprise the selection roster; it also has been a frequent factor in the presence of inconsistent performances in the early stages of a tournament like the lengthy qualifying process entails. The 4-2 defeat in HOT-DAMN was an example of the phenomenon, with plenty of veterans included in the lineup but interspersed with several who are still coming to grips with the pressure of the moment and the functions of the playing system utilized by Baker Park. There is no doubt about the talent or the technical skill of younger members of the NT, but there is a wide gulf that characterizes the understanding of responsibilities when you have a player with nearly 50 international appearances alongside one with less than 10. Breakdowns in play that may seem trivial in the immediate moment can create imbalance in the tactical plan that has been laid down in training. Although the National League and the Women's NL don't lack physical aggression in everyday playing style, in international competition the combination of an opponents spirit alongside the stakes of what winning or drawing a given match mean in the wider ramifications of World Cup success make experience in the face of adversity a much more stark proposition.

Baker Park are not the only international side that has been unable to shift into a higher gear over these first four fixtures in WCQ 99, as currently just 6 of the 150 nations competing have unblemished records—Group 6 is the only one where two teams have taken all 12 points on offer—but they operate with a smaller margin for error if the system suffers from hiccups or all of the pieces don't quite mesh as well as they should. The chance to take advantage of home crowd support over these two contests cannot be wasted if the Gold & Black want to stay in the hunt for one of the three spots that will punch a ticket to the Finals.

Lineup vs Natanians & Nosts MD 5

Duffy; Newbury, Little, A Jones (c); S Logan, Lopikina, Bryant, Howard; Shock; Hardison, Ikiedieze
subs--Longstreet, Lohmeyer, McKenzie, Jonasson, D'Alessandro, Kirby, Morgan, S Jones, Ibrahim, Coleman, Grayson, Applegate

Lineup vs Saint Eleanor MD 6 [1,200th all-time NT fixture]

Albertson; Frost, Lohmeyer, McKenzie; Douglas, D'Alessandro (c), Morgan, Prince; Grayson; Coleman, Khan
subs--Terwilliger, Newbury, A Jones, Andrews, S. Logan, Bryant, Kirby, S Jones, Ibrahim, Apllegate, Hardison, London

[HOT-DAMN]

Brewery Stadium, New Hap City, HOT-DAMN
World Cup 99 Qualifying Match 3: HOT-DAMN v. Natanians and Nosts

From the moment the Beer Leaguers emerged from under the tunnel just before the start of the match in New Hap City to play the poor bastards from Natanians and Nosts, it became evident that the Beer Leaguers were out for blood. They were out to send a message to the rest of the group. It was one of those messages that wasn’t personal, just business. Natanians and Nosts just happened to be the poor bastards that were next.

Ernie Stevenson looked over at his counterpart from Natanians and Nosts as the national anthems of both Natanians and Nosts and Hapilopper were being played. Ernie smirked. He figured that the other head coach, and the other team, had no idea what was coming. He then looked up at the crowd and smiled. A brief chuckle moved through his body as he contemplated what he and his team had discussed in the locker room previously. At the very least, this was going to be a violent game, and there were going to be some nasty hits coming. But it was nothing personal. There was nothing the Beer Leaguers had against Natanians and Nosts - for all they knew, the players from Natanians and Nosts were most likely decent fellows who could grill a mean steak or hold their own at the bar.

But they were next. The Beer Leaguers wanted to show they weren’t going to let the Vaishnavaria draw hurt them. And Natanians and Nosts just happened to be next.

The gameplan played itself out very simply and very quickly. The Beer Leaguers would let the Natanians have the ball. The first whistle blew and the Natanians took the ball. It was a classic Hapiloppian tactic for when they wanted to set an example out of someone. They’d feign a little bit of defense, and when the opposing team player got close to goal, the resident thug on the squad would lay out the ballcarrier with extreme prejudice. It was playing out exactly like that. Everyone in the stadium knew it as a Natanian took the ball. Natanians bounced the ball off each other as the Beer Leaguers let them have it - only playing light defense.

Meanwhile, Gael Hicks was crouched about twenty yards from goal. Just outside the 18-yard box. His fingers drummed the turf as he watched Natanian players stumble and fumble with the ball and with Hapiloppian defenders. He was sizing up who to eliminate. He knew how to level someone and make it look like an accident - just like his hero, Nathan Ellis used to do. He knew how to hit someone hard enough without actually injuring them. The time came, Hicks jumped from his resting spot and made his move.

**POW!!!**

Hicks leapt up, threw out his right arm and clotheslined the poor Natanian striker with vicious force. As the striker writhed on the ground, Hicks stood over him, pointed down at him and let out a volley of obscenities. A defenseman rushed over to confront Hicks, but Hicks ran right towards him and shouted “WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO? HUH?”

A yellow card for Gael Hicks. The crowd loved it. Hapiloppians relished in hard-nosed, hard-hitting football. Hapiloppian footballers, as is known by now, were known for taking brutal hits and dishing them out. They were known for wild brawls and insane goalscoring. Violent play was just one tenet of the theory of “Funball.” Fans in Hapilopper loved seeing football matches occasionally devolve into an occasional bench-clearing brawl. Unfortunately, sometimes “Funball” can get a Hapiloppian into trouble, and Hicks was treated to a yellow card.

But it set the tone. It seemed like the Beer Leaguers’ primary tactic during this match was to bully the Natanians. Make them look silly and foolish. Put them on the ground and writhe in pain while the Beer Leaguers take advantage. It was pedal-to-the-metal, balls-to-the-wall football, hard-nosed, hard-hitting and high-scoring, the way Hapiloppians loved it. And the Beer Leaguers scored quickly and with extreme prejudice. After Hicks’ cheap shot on the Natanian, the Beer Leaguers took the ball quickly.

Henry Fayette, an even bigger shitdick than Gael Hicks, shoulder-blocked a Natanian rushing toward the ball. The Natanian dropped to the turf as Fayette took the ball and rushed it toward goal. The referee thought about blowing the whistle but let it keep going. Whatever was going on, it seemed the Beer Leaguers were taking some serious liberties with the Natanians. Just because they were the next opponents.

There was nothing personal about it. Before the half was over, the Beer Leaguers had put four goals in - including three from Cale Mallett. The other came from Anthony Joseph Butterball, the annoying yet frighteningly efficient goalscorer for the Beer Leaguers. Even the two goals scored from the Natanians - past the head of Bob Willard - weren’t enough to put the Natanians past the Beer Leaguers. The Beer Leaguers went into the match a rampaging batch of lunatics, wanting to show the world that they weren’t going to be defined by an unfortunate draw. They were going to bounce back, kick ass and take names.

It was good they had that psychological relief, too, going up against Baker Park. It might have allowed them to get over the hump in that match - a match that was tied 2-2 until the 65th minute.

Up until that point, it seemed almost as if Baker Park - as you would expect - would have an answer for what the Beer Leaguers were doing. But Ernie Stevenson made a couple of substitutions that put them over the hump.

As the clock read “64:27”, Ernie took Hicks, Fayette and Mallett out. In went Duggan, Webster and Cherry. It was a controversial move, to be sure. And Mallett was none too pleased about it. As he jogged off the field, he looked right at Ernie and wanted an explanation.

“Butterball put those two in, not you,” Ernie said. “Hit the showers.”

“But this is my team!” Mallett protested. “I’m gonna get one in!”

“The hell you are,” Ernie said. “I said hit the showers. You want to whine about this? Then we’ll have a talk about it and you’ll be on the fucking bench!”

Ernie looked pissed at the idea of a prima-donna ball player trying to big-league him. Mallett walked back under the tunnel and was in street clothes by the end of the night. And his attitude towards both getting benched and winning the match overshadowed Cherry putting two in to put the Beer Leaguers over the Baker Park Bees in a surprising result. It almost seemed as if Mallett was pissed off that the Beer Leaguers put two more on the board after he was pulled out.

People started wondering days later when, for the match against Saint Eleanor, Mallett wasn’t even listed as a substitute. Rumors spread that he and Ernie had a shouting match in Ernie’s office the day after the match. When asked by Dominion Sports News about those rumors, all Ernie said was “interesting rumors, those.”

(SCHEDULED STARTING XI, vs. SAINT ELEANOR AND LOYO:
GK: #30 - Dash; DEF: #2 - Russell, #22 - Sudbury, #4 - Tatum, #05 - Hicks; MID: #36 - Fayette, #7 - Donis, #8 - Grove, #31 - Belwood; FWD: #48 - Butterball, #11 - Cherry
SCHEDULED BENCH PLAYERS: #1 - Willard (GK); #3 - Davis, #25 - Duggan, #27 - Barbom (DEF); #6 - Webster, #32 - Hughes, #34 - Shammes (MID); #45 - Gavin, #42 - Simmons (FWD))

[Kelssek]

Mylonakis enjoys dream Kelssek debut

Here’s a plot too obvious for fiction. An up-and-coming athlete whose performances for their club and a key distinguishing skill gets them into the national team. They’re put in to start the match, and then get the chance to show off that skill to win the game. So you knew what was going to happen when Ella Moore was felled outside the corner of the penalty area and Sofie Mylonakis placed the ball down to take the free kick in her national team debut.

And that was enough to give Kelssek the win against Reçueçn, an important win that they added on to in Katzeberg despite giving up the first goal, to ensure the best possible start to the World Cup qualifiers.

“I think it was the result we deserved, both of these matches. That’s a good foundation at this stage in the qualifiers. I’m starting to see the lineup that I want to have and see who works well in the team and the things we’re trying to do here,” said Kelssek manager Obey Chidiebere after the Katzeberg match.

Kelssek captain Kaiden Pépin, nursing an injury, made a cameo towards the end of the match, and really should have made it 4-1 when the ball fell to him in the six-yard box, but he shanked his volley wide of the upright.

“It’s always hard for a player to watch from the bench, but I have a role to play regardless of whether I’m playing, so that’s what I tried to do in this situation,” he said.

KELSSEK 1 – Mylonakis (53’)
Woodwell, Jouppi, Lalande, Vergland, Casiraghi, Pogbacar (Nordet 78’), Mylonakis (Licea 85’), Rendon (Obident 78’), Moore (Heer 71’), de Landa (Mao 85’), an Deoir (Cutter 45’)
REÇUEÇN 0
Exhibition Place, Kirkenes (attendance 36,161)

KATZEBURG 1 – (14’)
KELSSEK 3 – Pogbacar (21’), Niemi (72’), Moore (90+2’)
Carrieri, Jouppi (Bastien 82’), Lalande, Durocher, Casiraghi, Nordet (Pépin 82’), Pogbacar, Lìos (Massinen 61’), Joseph (Obident 70’), Moore (Mao 70’), Cutter (Niemi 61’)

---

Honkr Official - @Honkr

Who would even use cicada or any platform without its own exclusive token crypto driven by AI?

Elohim Marsman - @ElohimMarsman

Very concerning that @KaidenPepin complains about "abuse" (I call it FREE SPEECH) on social media and still can miss such a clear shot on goal when it really matters. If you were really a chad you'd have scored that, your weak body will decline and fade and your nation is cucked and failing, while I am the manliest, have a higher IQ, and am beyond parody. #Genocide

[Natkr]

ReemSports: World Cup Coverage

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MATCHDAY: VS KIMI-SUOMI

Natkr’s wacky rise and fall through the 99th World Cup qualifiers continues to be an emotion-wrecking and heart-pounding campaign. After a not-so-lucky start to the tournament with a draw against the North Polish Union and a loss to the Kytler Peninsulae, the team has now gone through two more painful group-stage matches, coming out only with three added points to their stats from a on-and-off 3-2 victory over Kimi-Suomi and a pretty close 3-2 defeat to Alanis Star. This leaves Coach Kyes Weah's tired Natkrian squad battling extremely for every single point they earn in their long quest for a spot in World Cup qualification.

The match against Kimi-Suomi, played in Watson City FC's home stadium, Thomas Davids Park, was a beautiful showcase of attacking football in the match that kept fans out of their seats multiple times throughout 90 minutes. Knowing the fact absolutely needing to secure a win after their not-so-expected start, Natkr came out with a changed form of attacking intention, excited and eager to impose their new style on Kimi-Suomi's notoriously known focused defense. The early moments were tense, with both teams looking for weaknesses within to gain possession effectively.

Natkr's ability to play effectively finally paid off in the 20th minute. A beautiful piece of link-up play between attacking midfielder Brayden Rodriguez, who had recovered fully from his earlier ankle sprain from the North Polish Union game, and the always-working winger in Elijah Hernandez, which resulted in Hernandez launching a stunning power shot that rocketed into the top corner of the net. The stadium erupted suddenly in a melody of many cheers at once, a needed release of the headache at the opening moments from the home crowd.

However, Kimi-Suomi, which remained true to their attacking nature, responded quickly and swiftly. A well-settled free kick routine goal just outside the box before halftime saw them make the game level, silencing the home Natkrian crowd for now. The goal exposed Natkr’s hanging defensive mistakes and problems, a recurring concern for Coach Kyes Weah. The half-time whistle brought a mixture of celebration and frustration for Natkr.

The second half began with Kimi-Suomi showing more attacking press with more ambition, and they were rewarded early in the 47th minute. A quick counter-attack after a clear caught Natkr’s defense on their knees swiftly, allowing Kimi-Suomi to take a surprise 2-1 lead in the opening moments of the 2nd half. The dream of a needed victory for Natkr seemed to be slipping away slowly, and a quiet spirit started by the fans descended over the stadium.

But Natkr, fueled by the need for a win and the ultimate support of their home fans, refused to back down after that crazy goal. Coach Kyes Weah made tactical adjustments to their game, pushing more crucial players forward up the line and urging them to press higher. The renewed focus paid off heavily in the long run. Defense midfielder Jonty Hatfield, whose stats have been relatively quiet this tournament, found his scoring self finally, scoring a needed equalizer with an amazing finish from close range to tie the game. The comeback was on.

With the pitch plays all in their favor, Natkr pressed for the winner. The final ten minutes of the match were an off-and-on battle of attacking dominance, with almost all of the Natkrian players moving up forward. In the 88th minute, a moment of absolute magic sealed the first victory for the Green on the Blue. A spectacular shot from defender David Lopez, known more for his work in leading at the back, rather than scoring, dropped and swerved right through unknowingly, catching the Kimi-Suomi goalkeeper Alexander Ekdal off guard and making its spot into the back of their net. Thomas Davids Park exploded in a wonderful celebration as Natkr secured their first win, as they finished off 3-2.

The celebration from the Kimi-Suomi victory, however, was quickly shot down by the announcement of their next game: a very challenging away match against Alanis Star. This match was always expected by the media to be a tough cookie to crack, with Alanis Star known for their aggressive high-line style of football and unwavering energy in a normal game. The Natkrian squad, still enjoying the last-minute goal of their last game, knew they faced a different football.

VS: ALANIS STAR

The match against Alanis Star began at a heavy pace, with both teams exchanging plays with the ball in a true end-to-end battle. Alanis Star's midfield played with effort throughout, denying Natkrian players time on the ball, mainly in our attack, forcing them into unnecessary errors to give up the ball. The home crowd was pretty rude to the Natkrian squad at first, creating a negative atmosphere that Natkr listened and struggled to contain early on.

Alanis Star cashed in on their strong pursuit of Natkr's half, finding the end of the net twice in consecutive actions within the first 30 minutes, which actually stunned Natkr. Their first goal in the 18th minute came from a knock-in header after a corner kick, showing everyone Natkr's common vulnerability to conceding set pieces. The second goal was a result of a counter-attack played in by Ivanildo Samuel Rosa A. Gomes da Cruz, with Alanis Star’s fast, wide midfielders exposing a large opening in Natkr’s defense, pulling back. Natkr found themselves in a heavy predicament, losing by 2-0.

Weah’s half-time team talk was pretty short according to the media, but emphasized the need for greater discipline and endurance from the team. Natkr prepared for the second half with some new determination in their brains, and their works were rewarded immediately in the 48th minute. Brayden Rodriguez, once again, proved to be Natkr’s "Little Magician", by sliding a goal back in with a well-taken rebound that lightened every Natkr fan's hopes. Natkr's goals were only half of Alanis Star's, and the comeback actually seemed possible.

The game then dove into a weird, wacky, and chaotic game. Natkr pushed forward, putting basically everyone into attack, desperate for a draw at least. Alanis Star, conveniently, looked to take over the space Natkr left behind with quick thinking counter-attacks quickly taken out. It was a true test of endurance and attitude.

Natkr’s patience eventually paid off in the end. With just minutes remaining, Henry Smith, showcasing his crazy dribbling and skill moves, dribbled through two defenders like it was nothing before bringing home a needed equalizer. The away section of the stadium erupted, believing a conveniently started comeback had been completed. The score was 2-2, and a single point seemed sure against a hard opponent like Alanis Star.

However, football is absolutely a cruel game. In the last moments of stoppage time, Alanis Star launched one final needed attack on our defense. A long ball crossed over the top of the line, caught the Natkrian defense off guard, and Alanis Star’s main striker, Reiner Maxine Belay Trần W. Van der Sandt, quickly capitalized on the short confusion by calmly shooting the ball past Ethan Carter. The final whistle blew immediately after the shot, which confirmed a devastating 3-2 defeat for Natkr.

The loss to Alanis Star was a bitter result in particular, especially after fighting back so bravely at the end. It showcased Natkr’s current inconsistency at both sides of the pitch: moments of technical attacking play were overshadowed by short openings in defensive positions and various spots. With four matches played, Natkr now sits with only four points, making their formerly joyous qualification start even more challenging.

Coach Kyes Weah and his various coaching staff are now facing what arguably could be their toughest challenge yet: starting up the boys' confidence again and addressing their defensive mistakes while ensuring their attacking progress continues. The players have gone through intense recovery sessions with medical staff, both physical and psychological, as they go through the emotional rollercoaster of their last results.

The upcoming matches against Hapilopper and Anewkansas are now pretty difficult. Hapilopper, while not considered a major powerhouse in WC Qualifying, are known for its tactical dominance and ability to frustrate the heck out of their opponents. Natkr will need to show major patience and creativity to break down their defense slowly, while remaining careful of their potential crumbs left on the counter-attack. Securing three points against Hapilopper is really needed for Natkr’s World Cup journey plans.

The second game, against 5th placed Anewkansas, will be another test of strong Natkrian attitude. Anewkansas is known for its home support through fans and often plays with, what some fans might call an aggressive (Direct Football) style. Natkr will need to be prepared for a mental battle and demonstrate greater bravery in the back of the pitch to prevent a heart-wrenching repeat of their Alanis Star loss.

The atmosphere at the training grounds in Natkr's National Training Center in Nordhammer is reportedly a varied mix of intense focus and a steady ship steered by the team. Captain David Lopez has been a leader, mainly in the dressing room, talking about the team's need for unity and an effort throughout these matches for the fans at home. The World Cup dream, though slowly going out of business, continues to be the main focus of every player on the national team.

ReemSports will continue to provide unlimited access and coverage of Natkr's journey. Subscribe mainly to Reem+ and ReemChannel on your various cable services, for exclusive access to interviews, tactical analyses by our pundits, and, of course, a live showcase of the upcoming qualifiers. The road to the World Cup is long and hard for most teams, but for Natkr, every match from here on out is a final.

[Kandorith]

Hikari Kyoyu

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Illuminating Today

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[Zwangzug]

The Spenson Star

As you might know, but realistically probably don't, Zwangzug's economy being what it is, the Arrosian triad hosting World Cup 99 are soliciting applications from corporations or other organizations around the world to sponsor the tournament. Already, companies have begun to make their pitch as for why they should be considered for sponsorship. Many of these companies have little presence outside their home country, and for them, it's an opportunity to establish global name recognition. Others already have connections with the sports world; Drawkland's Outbox fast food chain sponsors a multiassociation football domestic league.

And then there is Brasserie Jour de match, a beer company based in Nova Calania, who have adopted a bold strategy for promoting their product around the world--naming their craft beers after legendary players from World Cup history. Of course, any attempt to rank or select who qualifies as truly legendary versus merely noteworthy can quickly devolve into subjectivity, with all of the positional biases and other shaky criteria for memorability that ensue. But credit is due to the Nova Calanian bigwigs for doing their market research, and in the process, forming a more cosmopolitan product than most capitalist endeavors.

We wanted to sample some of their products and give a review. Unfortunately, there were a couple small hurdles in doing so. First of all, alcohol is not legal in Zwangzug, and while we could apply for a religious exemption, "worshipping at the church of football, specifically the corporate tie-ins to an ongoing tournament" might have raised eyebrows even from our extremely trusting bureaucrats, who prefer to give everyone's beliefs the benefit of the doubt. So we visited Shell Shock Troop Clan, the successor to Aguazul, whence hailed Sosimo Lissón, the striker who lent his name to the "India Pale Lager." The locals were unable to tell us what an "India" is, although upon further research, it appears to be the region of which Indusse is governor (though not currently resident). Lissón's eponymous lager includes both amarillo and el dorado hops, fitting for a Spanish-speaking country. (His first club, CA Condadore, played in dorado as well as morado, so that's cool.) We then needed to figure out what hops were. (Not to be confused with Haps, which are the team from Hapilopper; it's an easy mistake to make, since they also enjoy beer.)

"I think it's so great that these companies have the opportunity to sponsor the World Cup! It's wonderful to see airplanes and sportswashing schemes take their place alongside dangerous alcohol products! I'm sure there can't be any possible externalities to these. I bet if our country works hard, we can come up with some kind of nonprofit organization that oozes insufferability and condescension towards all those capitalist rivals out there," enthused Tandre Vusin-Jacques, upon hearing of this scheme.

"Did they literally have no goalkeepers other than an egg? Talk about fucking typecasting," muttered Tinn Jejue. Upon being informed that Zwangzug had not put forward any suggestions and therefore really didn't have the right to complain, Jejue darkly added that "we weren't exactly leading the world on that metric, either."

MD3: Lavrans 40, Spand-Maunk 82
MD4: Palmetto 21, Aksnes 39, Flen-Willis 57, Sibelius 89; Butea 12, Mersiás 41 and 65

[Saterun]

Vidar Washington was relieved. After a rocky 3 first games of qualifying, the Claws had put in a statement of intent this match. A 7-0 thumping of the nation Notcommunist3 had shown both the attacking and defensive capabilities of Saterun, as they had managed 25 shots while keeping the opposition to a mere 2. Vidar himself had put in a real show, scoring once and assisting twice. He walked over to Handrix Casfo, the new Saterun manager, where he and Caesar Ibañez were chatting about the game. The mood in Crescent Arena was high, and there was finally belief that Saterun could give a good account of themselves during this qualifying. Handrix spotted Vidar, and quickly wrapped up his conversation with Caesar before greeting the midfielder.

"Hey, Vidar. Excellent game today." Vidar smiled. Handrix was not only his new national team manager, but was also his club manager at Mieteng City. Vidar had been under him ever since he had broken into the first team, and had an amazing relationship with the manager. That was what had made it so easy for Vidar to adapt to the new, more attacking style that the Claws were now using. It had certainly yielded results, at least in the scoring numbers, as the Claws were ranked third in goals for. Handrix quickly brought him out of his thoughts. "Your control of space was amazing today. Keep working on that left foot, and we're going to do some more defensive training tomorrow. I need you to be my ball-winner." Vidar nodded. And with that, Handrix moved on. The Mieteng midfielder sighed. He had wanted to talk with Handrix for a bit longer, but he'd have to wait for another time. And besides, it wasn't a huge issue.

A few hours later, they were back on the bus headed for the Ias airport. There was a bit of a longer break between qualifying matches this round, and the squad had been given a week-long break to rest and go back to their families. They were to report back to Daxler by Monday for training. Next to Vidar, Crespo Antonsen yawned. Crespo, also with Vidar on Mieteng City, seemed to have an incredible capacity for falling asleep in any time and any place. Once, on a flight to Drawkland, Vidar had witnessed Crespo fall asleep in the middle of a thunderstorm that they had to fly through. Now, as they crawled through the dense city center of Ias, in what had to be one of the least peaceful environments in the Multiverse, Crespo was quickly out. Oh well. At least it gave Vidar a chance to think about the game. He knew he had put in a good performance, at least on paper, but something still bothered him. He couldn't quite pin down exactly what it was.

Back at home, in the central Marebrook town of Hatherford, Vidar settled in to watch some game film. It really had been a masterclass from the Claws that day. Caesar had scored a hat-trick, as the Tihon United man started to find his form again. They had been defensively solid as well, with Matt Saez putting in an 8.7 rating and Abbas Alil with an 8.5. There were a few weak spots, however. Sometimes long crosses were off-point, and the outside midfielders' propensity to dribble sometimes gave away the ball unnecessarily. In a game like this, that was fine, especially since either Glenn Lundquist or Vidar himself were usually quick to close down the lane, but against bigger teams it wouldn't fly. Vidar knew that Handrix respected him and valued his opinion, and was guessing that the manager planned to make him captain at some point once Becker got nearer to retiring. If he wanted that post, he needed to start showing some leadership.

By 10, he was in bed. He usually stayed at his apartment in Mieteng, but he liked to come to his countryside house whenever they had a bit of a break from the NT. The stillness of the village calmed him. Just as he was about to fall asleep, his phone started to buzz. Tiredly, he picked it up. It has Handrix. Vidar quickly answered. As the call went on, he leapt out of bed. He threw on his clothes, and rushed outside. By the time he was in the car, he wasn't even listening to what Handrix was saying. He flew down the road, working his way to the Hatherford rail station. If he made it by 10:20, he could catch the train then and be in Qeuthun by 12:00. He couldn't miss it. Vidar has been scared before. But this was something he had never felt.

[Milchama]

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader

Sports Section

Our Semi Annual Update on the Milchamian League System that will Definitely be Changed Next Year

Every year, well really about twice a year, somebody from the MFA looks at the Milchamian league system and goes "damn what a mess" and says this time they're going to fix it. Well now we've had the same thing from Director of National Team Development Yaakov Sebastien who has said he would like to, say it with me now, "nationalize the leagues," "have a clearer structure between divisions," and "help centralize and nationalize training methods." We know what he wants and we know what's good, we can all look at the baseball and cricket teams but the teams have too much entrenched power and too many would be harmed by any nationalization. So instead of listening again to a well intentioned but ultimately fruitless plan by another MFA guy let's instead look at how we got here and what's going on the in the leagues of Milchama.

For those not in the know, Milchamian soccer is not played in a nationalized league, like probably every other nation in the World Cup,(unclear what happens in the Holy Empire but certainly possible there) but instead plays in a series of regionalized leagues that play over the course of the whole year. Each major city, which work as de facto regions in Milchama (we're much too lazy to name provinces except Mongolia), play in their semi designated time against and around other city leagues happening simultaneously. Usually, 2 to 5 cities are playing at once at any given point. Approximately 12 leagues are any good and most of these city leagues also have promotion and relegation, although only about 3 divisions each. The best players, of course, play in between 2 to 4 leagues and some will even play in multiple leagues at the same time.

This chaos, created during the Isolation as a deliberate way to keep soccer popular by taking the hyperlocalism common in Milchama and just applying it to soccer, has produced has produced some pretty good soccer players but has clearly hit a wall. The Warriors since the end of the Isolation, and frankly since the 40s, have been a middling team at best. A couple of octofinal appearances being the best we've done and the big yo yo swings being a common sight of Milchamian World Cup campaigns (like getting to octos in the WC 97 and then not qualifying in WC 98).

Of course, the issues are obvious to anyone and everyone, a non national league dilutes talent meaning that Milchamian players are not playing with or against the best players. Additionally, these local times work on smaller budgets meaning less resources devoted to player development. One reason why Milchamian players so rarely go abroad is because, well it's kinda impossible, where would other nations send scouts to even know who to recruit? And also, even if you notice a player on the NT with the Warriors figuring out how to pay and who to pay transfer fees too is kinda impossible since many teams would claim a player. This paper knows of at least one Banijan team that was driven off after attempting to figure out how to deal with the contract language in Milchama. The contract language has been straightened out, that was the only result of the last time the MFA really tried to get things moving, players are essentially free agents whenever a season ends now; but so many burned bridges has made other countries wary of signing Milchamians. It's a mess.

So why keep it? People often blame the clubs who would be hurt but Milchama is a socialist nation and the socialist belief in the "each according to their ability to each according to their need" is basically the other national creed after the Shema. Clubs in the past have been willing to sacrifice for the greater good and most clubs agree that one national division would probably be good on the whole for Milchamian soccer player development. However, fans would riot. Fans love rooting for neighborhood teams! Instead of rooting for Alexandria like in baseball fans get to root for HaKfar or Bakos or Tir'eh Agam. Fans know that moving to a nationalized league would lose these neighborhood connections and so have fought against them every step of the way. The radical democracy of most clubs has then meant that the clubs themselves have to say no and so on. Unlike baseball, where clubs were fine with the new system of the MBL as long as winners and losers weren't deliberately picked, in soccer localism rules.

Maybe Sebastien has a way to reverse this, probably not, but we'll see him try, again.

Until then here is our quick and dirty rankings of the leagues in no particular order:

Top Tier:
Alexandria League
Tel Chittor League
New Babylon League
Karakorum/Mongolian League
Port Numantia

Next Best Leagues:
New Troy
Roma Hadash – Best of the rest
Hebrides
Tzor
New Corinth

Join us next time where we actually go in depth with our rankings and attempt to build more backstory to the nation of Milchama through the lens of football.

[Chromatika]

World Cup 99 Qualifiers Matchday 3: Chromatika 4-1 (104) Yuugria @ The Hive, Sanar, Rainbow District (Cap. 122,000, 42,000 Seats)
Goals: Xuen-Zhukov 14', Howard-Dawes 51', Fillar, E. 70', Fillar, B. 81'
Starting XI: (3-4-1-2) - Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Paterson -> Coulibaly (49'), Gundsdorf -> Mesic-Mizayaki (49'), Hauptmeijer -> Fillar, G. (63'), Prenn -> Françine-Miklavivec (63'), Bittencourt -> Xuen-Zhukov (74')
Summary: The floodgates opened in the second half of this game after the visitors tied the first score as the two Fillars put the game out of reach in the final twenty minutes - the Chromatiks finally playing like the team that everyone knows they can be. Baillaire Fillar had two assists and the goal to put the game away, while the two starting strikers had a goal apiece. Hopefully it'll be the first foray into the form that they'll become...
World Cup 99 Qualifiers Matchday 4: Edsmontik 3–1 Chromatika
Goals: Françine-Miklavivec 7'
Starting XI: (3-4-1-2) - Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Lethbridge-Antonio, C. -> Jackson-Jones (51'), Lethbridge-Antonio, J. -> Mesic-Mizayaki (51'), Saburo -> Nodis (64'), Mátyás -> Fillar, E. (64'), Van Der Borght -> Mesiz-Mizayaki (80')
Summary: Though Evin opened up the scoring for Chromatika, the home team would dominate the rest of the match - leaving the Anomalies at two losses through the first two road games of the qualifying cycle. The midfield played well enough, but connecting with the forwards proved to be the difficult thing for the visiting team. Is this the limit for them?

---

Projected Lineups for World Cup 99 Qualifying Matchdays 5 and 6
vs. (UR) Paradystopia @ Z'ai'ai Field, Z'ai'ai, Mountain District (Cap. 113,000; 40,000 Seats), vs. (269) Moladea @ Frozen Stadium, Felswyr, Mountain District (Cap. 32,000)
Starting XI: Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: GK Jill Swanson, GK Jessika Aniston, DCR Paisley Paterson, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, DCL Uemura Saburo, DCR Jaxon Lehmann, WBR Jacoliene Hauptmeijer, WBL Nemes Mátyás, WBL Róża Panaś, CDM Eden Gundsdorf, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, AM Þyrill Bjarnhéðinsson, AM Maddie Prenn, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste, CF Harriet Baïe-Verte, AF Adélaide Bittencourt.
Preview: Ideally, they'd rather not play the first string players in this bunch of matches, as it's the home matches against the Unranked and 269th ranked team in the group; however, the six points are very much needed as the Anomalies currently sit outside of third place. It's not the worst to lose to the top seed and the fourth seed on the road, but that's only if you continue to get all the points against the bottom feeders. Lavrentiy and Elaine will be expected to make short work of the defenses being faced here - while Sourtois will be expected to keep the goal clean.

1. The Find
2. The Lawyer

DISCOVERY OF THE AGES
III. The Debt

Kim Bo-Hyun, the Secretary to the Head of the Myana Island Rebuilding Project, held his head in his hands as he read the full report gathered by Death Templars Law Firm on why the foundation project in Eyrods was not meeting deadlines. The initial coffin that was discovered by an excavator trying to make time had unearthed what was a mass graveyard previously unmarked in any Eyrodii map - dating back to the days of the Chromatik Party and potentially even before. Archeological digs were already petitioning the Chromatik government to stop construction immediately, while fringe religious elements were starting to say that there actually was life in Chromatika before the days of the Chromatik Party. Everyone who was anyone in the Chromatik academic space agreed that this was too much of a find to let go to waste, as they could gain insight into something that everyone had thought had been wiped out by the Chromatik Party.

The Security Council, now in its third year of reign as emergency head of state of Chromatika, hadn't made a formal statement - but time was running out. As the Secretary to the Head of the Myana Island Rebuilding Project, Jacqueline Detoit, it was Kim's job to summarize the report and feed it to Jacqueline - and for Jacqueline to, in turn, inform the Security Council. If the Security Council chose to actually follow the whims of those that wanted to fully excavate the site, they would have to revise the architectural plans regarding the new city of Eyrods. This would, in turn, delay what was already a massive effort in rebuilding the eastern half of Myana by up to six months unless others came up with plans to shorten that time period. There didn't seem to be an alternative, though.

Thinking of the public outcry that would come regarding the delay made Kim wince. There were already elements of the Chromatik public who claimed that this was all a ploy for the Security Council to unilaterally rule the government; others said that not enough was being done to put people back in their homes, and the strain of supporting the refugees across the various cities of the rest of Chromatika was starting to be felt by the cities that had brought in their fellow Chromatiks eagerly in the beginning.

As he summarized the report into succinct bullet points that showed the breadth and depth of the problem they were facing - he made sure to include a copy of the original, knowing that Jacqueline would demand to see it given the sensitive nature of the situation at hand - he picked up his phone and called up a number he hadn't in four years.

Four years ago, he had been engaged to one Emilie Rochenbrocher, who had been a journalist for the Chromia Central Courier at the time. They had met when he saved her from a rouge driver by pulling her away from the edge of the sidewalk, dated for three years, gotten engaged, and then called it off because she had second thoughts. At their last meeting, she had stated that he could call in one favor for saving her life - though he had tried to tell her that it wasn't needed, she said that since she couldn't spend the rest of her life making it up to him as she had promised all throughout the time they were dating, she wanted to make it a concrete event so that she could move on.

Now, she was the Head of the Political Opinions section of one of the biggest newspapers in Chromia. They had remained acquaintances in the years that had passed, and he thought from time to time that they still had a chance to get back together, given that neither of them had found anyone else in the interim.

It was time to call in the favor. He needed public opinion to be on the side of the Chromatik Security Council when the news went out that the rebuilding of Eyrods would be delayed for a further six months, and Emilie could definitely help him do that. Nobody on the Council wanted emergency power any longer than they had to have it, after all - or so he believed wholeheartedly - and the public needed to know that some things were more important than current events.

What Kim didn't know was that the Chromia Central Courier would be in the center of a raging debate going forward about what it meant to be a Chromatik citizen.

[StrayaRoos]

Four games in, and things are looking modestly good for the Emus. Despite being fourth, we’re unbeaten, and only one point outside the qualifying spaces, alongside having the tied-highest goal difference in the group.

But, over the first two windows, some cracks have shown, mainly the shock draw with unranked Anewkansas, which has unsurprisingly led to the more…reactionary…media sources in StrayaRoos to immediately demand Calixto Conti’s head, despite him having led the team to two consecutive World Cup knockout appearances.
The game itself saw an absolute goalfest. The first half looked like it was an expected win for the Emus, following goals from Renee Beralt, who hit a superb curling free-kick into the net in the 33rd minute, and then the golden duo of Kerr & Vidya teamed up for another cross into the back of the net 8 minutes later. Anewkansas’ playmaker, Marcus Puckett scored a bit of a tap-in from the corner in stoppage time, so at the break it was 2-1.

Then, as the teams came out of the sheds following the break, the away side looked like a completely different team from the first half. The usually decent Emus' backline looked like a pub team on Sunday morning against the Turtles’ attack, and it was a miracle that two goals were all that were conceded, when Pershing Major netted a header from a long ball in the 57th minute, and followed it with a penalty in the 62nd. And with the lead gone, the Anewkansas side attempted to make sure the Emus were unable to take it back with what can only be described as ‘classical shithousery’. Ella Vidya and Yasmeen Karmea were constantly being slide tackled whenever they got the ball, some of which were extremely dodgy, not even getting a look from the ref. Although he did finally notice when Guy Marchand solidly nailed Vidya’s ankle with 5 minutes left, sending her off with an injury that doesn’t make her chances of playing the rest of the campaign look too good, and Marchand went off with a red. With the enforcer who’d caused their problems gone, the Emus had one task for the final five and a bit minutes: salvaging a point from this disaster. Thankfully, the free kick from that tackle was sent flying into the box by sub Lucas Pewo, where it met Kaniehtiio Lindiwe’s head, and she struck home, equalising the match at 3-3. While every point counts in this race for the top 3, there’s probably going to be a problem with who takes over the hole Ella Vidya left on the left wing for at least the qualifiers. Quite possibly whatever comes after them, too.

A week later, Pale Stadium was gearing up for another qualifier, with the Emus unusually having two home games in the same window. This time, the North Polish Union were a much easier opponent than Anewkansas, having not scored a goal for the past 150 minutes before this match. While Calixto Conti opted to call in 22-year-old Tyla Lovia to replace Vidya on the squad list, Daniel Jaqi took Vidya’s place on the pitch. And he went pretty well, providing an assist to Kai Kuyta from the corner flag in the 33rd minute, and then he almost scored one of his own in the 63rd minute. However, Hieronim Kalinowski deflected it, and it landed at the feet of Yasmeen Karmea, who struck the ball home, making it 2-0, which held out as the scoreline for the remaining 27 minutes, despite the Emus trying everything they could to get a third.