Campionato Esportiva 37 & Sport. Fest. 3 - Everything Thread

by **South Newlandia** » Tue Feb 06, 2024 12:07 pm

Permissions: Please don’t (irreparably) hurt my players or my feelings
Style Mods: 0 for all where it applies

South Newlandian Cricket Roster for the Espo T20 IV

RP permissions:
Yes to all, except career-ending injuries/deaths. Feel free to make a scorecard if you want to!

Cricket in South Newlandia
Cricket is clearly not the most beloved bat-and-ball game in this country. Indeed, many South Newlandians will be thinking of insects when they hear the term, especially those on the Eastern side of the country.
The only pocket where cricket can claim to anything but a very minor role in South Newlandian sports is the island of New Colk. Located just off-shore to the capital city, Elephant Valley, the island is home to about 70,000. The thing that makes it notable for cricket is a large community of expats from the Grearish Union that settled here, and consequently brought cricket with them. While they were able to convince many South Newlandians from the area, cricket remains quite unpopular throughout the rest of the country, and this squad reflects that.
South Newlandia, with its total population of roughly four million, is already having a tough time finding good players for any sport – when you’re limited to pretty much only the 60,000 from New Colk, it doesn’t go too well. However, an unexpectedly strong run at the ODIs a few years ago has certainly raised eyebrows – maybe the Elephants can play another successful home Espo T20.

Cricket kits
The South Newlandian cricket kits take some inspiration from the Grearish ones. In particular, they feature the same collars, and also have yellow sleeves. The main part of the kit, however, is green and blue rather than black and yellow. The kit also features the South Newlandian cricket logo – an elephant with a cricket helmet. Speaking of those – South Newlandian cricket helmets are blue (yes, including the elephants).

Head Coach
The team will be managed by Sylestonian Jack Giblin, who also had the team under his wing at the Espo T20 III. Searching for him in Sylestone posts returns zero results, but I’m sure he’s qualified and will continue to do a good job.

The batting lineup (short, accessible)

1. Tia Saha (26; RHB)
2. Shivanya Tiati-Cross (27; LHB)
3. Jana Hatfield (34; RHB)
4. Panyin Banerjee (C) (29; RHB; Right, Pace)
5. Brock Pittman (34; LHB)
6. Bush Pal (22; RHB; Right, Slow)
7. Gary Stealom (wk) (24; RHB)
8. Darsh Cauhan (23; RHB; Right, Medium fast)
9. Peter Robinson (31; LHB; Left, Wrist (leg) Spin)
10. Vedant Conroy (29; RHB; Right, Pace)
11. Bobby Nolan (34; RHB; Right, Finger (off) Spin)

Ruhaan Wilson (29; RHB)
Samuel Pathel (22; RHB)
Ayaan Miller (23; LHB; Left arm Swing)
Charles Richardson (wk) (25; RHB)

The batting lineup (long)

1. Tia Saha – Opener – Age 26 – Bats Right – Home Town: New Colk
Tia Saha is a pretty solid bat from New Colk, the home of South Newlandian cricket. She tends to play more cautiously, wary of putting her team into an early hole. One of the young talents of South Newlandian cricket, she is also an agile, solid defender; but her story will still have to be written; even after a strong showing at the recent ODIs.

2. Shivanya Tiati-Cross – Opener – Age 27 – Bats Left – Home Town: New Colk
Taiti-Cross has distant roots in Sylestone, but nevertheless grew up in New Colk, and was thus close to cricket throughout her youth. She is the typical no-nonsense bat that a team of this calibre needs, and has been displaying some exceptional leadership and shot selection for her age. A tough out for sure.

3. Jana Hatfield – Batter - Age 34 – Bats Left – Plays for Cleorough Devils in Sylestone – Home Town: New Colk
Jana Hatfield may not always be the best batter South Newlandia has to offer, but she’s certainly the most experienced. She’s been there as a young, middle order bat in the initial South Newlandian surge, and has since been a reasonably productive middle order bat for the Devils in the Sylestonian league. She tends to be a fairly aggressive batter, which will inevitably lead to quick wickets, but can also set the stage if she catches a good day. In any case, she stands out as a great, sure-handed fielder. Her experience and leadership will be a welcome asset for the Elephants.

4. Panyin Banerjee – Captain - All-Rounder - Age 29 – Bats Right – Bowls Right, Pace – Home Town: New Colk
The star of this team, if there can be such a thing for the fledgling Ellies, is the All-Rounder Panyin Banerjee. While the beginning of his prime was swallowed up by the Elephants refusing to attend cricket for eight years, he is a strong player batting and bowling. His batting skill definitely stands out more - his unique style, threatening a boundary at any moment, will make him a threat. He is also one of the better South Newlandian bowlers. Barring injury, there is almost no chance this team will ever play without him.

5. Brock Pittman – Batter – Age 34 – Bats Left – Home Town: Elephant Valley
Brock Pittman used to open for this team way back during the early Elephants tournaments, when his potential was sky-high. As an Elephant Valley native, his promise was seen to parallel the potential ascent of cricket throughout the South Newlandian mainland. Neither ever really came to pass, but between good fielding and his experience, it’s still enough to maintain a spot on this team.

6. Bush Pal – All-Rounder – Age 22 – Bats Right - Home Town: New Colk
Pal is the big new face on the team. He’s an extremely talented All-Rounder from New Colk, and although he still lacks some experience, he’s an excellent batter and bowler. The fielding could still use some work, but he’s going to become the new star of South Newlandian cricket.

7. Gary Stealom – Wicketkeeper – Age 24 – Bats Right – Home Town: New Colk
Stealom is one of the young talents of this team, who still has a lot to learn. Wicketkeeper will undoubtedly be a weakness for this team, with Stealom still lacking the experience to be very effective as a fielder. He can hold a bat, but don’t expect him (or anyone beyond this point) to win you a game. If South Newlandia would have a better option to wicketkeep, they’d probably use it.

8. Darsh Cauhan – Bowler – Age 23 – Bats Right – Bowls Right, Medium fast – Home Town: New Colk
Cauhan is not an elite bowler, but he can do slightly more with the bat than the rest of the tail. As a bowler, he tends to be aggressive, always looking to bowl out his opponents; this can lead to catastrophe often, but in the right spot, it could come up huge.

9. Peter Robinson – Bowler – Age 31 – Bats Left – Bowls Left, Wrist (leg) spin – Plays for Betham Dogs in Sylestone – Home Town: New Colk
The best bowler for South Newlandia had made the original teams when he was very young, and managed to earn a steady income with the Betham Dogs. An experienced, deliberate bowler, he is easily the best option for the Elephants to bowl a huge spot.

10. Vedant Conroy – Bowler – Age 29 – Bats Right – Bowls Right, Pace – Home Town: Elephant Valley
Actually a distant relative of one of the best baseball players in South Newlandian history, Vedant is the other Elephant Valley native on the roster. He’s a pretty mediocre bowler at best, and also horrible with the bat, but he stands out as an exceptionally good fielder.

11. Bobby Nolan – Bowler – Age 34 – Bats Right – Bowls Right, Finger (off) Spin – Home Town: New Colk
Nolan is another returner from the Elephants teams of the early days. He’s another good bowler, who will do next to nothing with the bat in his hands. As the oldest South Newlandian bowler (besides Newman), he does have an important role as a team leader, but he otherwise doesn’t really stand out in any notable way.

Reserves:

Ruhaan Wilson – Batter – Age 29 – Bats Right – Home Town: New Colk
Wilson is a pretty forgettable player all around. Relatively unassuming, that matches his play style; decent with the bat, decent fielder, not very notable otherwise. Should Pittman or Tiati-Cross struggle, or one of the other batters get injured, Wilson will be the next man up to replace them.

Samuel Pathel – Batter – Age 22 – Bats Right – Home Town: Ratzupalfu
Pathel represents the hope of a better future for South Newlandian cricket. Having grown up in Ratzupalfu, deep in the mainland of South Newlandia, he represents unchartered territory for the Elephants. He’s mostly here to gain some experience, as he’s not really ready for the big stage just yet; he needs to improve in the field as well as reining that aggressiveness.

Ayaan Miller – Bowler – Age 23 – Bats Left – Bowls Left, Swing – Home Town: New Colk
Another young, promising player, Miller will be the backup if any of the bowlers go down. A decent defender and talented bowler, Miller is probably the most reliable of the backups, despite his young age. If the Elephants believe an additional lefty bowler or more pace in the lineup are very helpful, he may easily replace Cauhan, Conroy, or Nolan.

Charles Richardson – Wicketkeeper – Age 25 – Bats Right – Home Town: New Colk
Richardson is the new backup wicketkeeper, and he’s a pretty good and dependable defender. He can’t be relied on with the bat in his hands, though, so he’s unlikely to actually get to play much.

SNL just start something on time for once challenge

by **Banija** » Tue Feb 06, 2024 2:01 pm

Banija National Men's Ice Hockey Team
Head Coach: Dieter Lobe(Siovanija & Teusland). 51 years old. Former head coach of the Rotmunde Hurricanes in the Ehrenliga in S&T. Seventh cycle.

The Banijan Hockey Federation, as the national governing body for ice hockey in Banija, is the governing body for this squad.

All teams listed are in the Greater Banijan Hockey League, or post-secondary education institutions competing in the Banijan Collegiate Sports Group competition, unless otherwise specified. Players who are making their international debut at the senior level are italicized.

Goalie
Starter: #44 Jikita Fal. 24 years old. Plays for the Schemerdrecht Caribou.
Backup: #35 Benedict Jammbo. 26 years old. Plays for the Jaromirgrad Huskies.
Third String: #50 Yerga Azim Giday. 25 years old. Plays for the St. Jakob Crusaders.

Defenders
Partnership 1
Left Defender- #13 Jokadu Kitaya. Age 23. Plays for the Mansfield Warriors.
Right Defender- #17 Esau Kayange. Age 28. Plays for the Schemerdrecht Caribou. First Alternate Captain.

Partnership 2
Left Defender- #19 Banja Tate. Age 24. Plays for the Little Istria Tigersharks
Right Defender- #18 Idirissa Sawolu. Age 25. Plays for the Quebec Grizzlies.

Partnership 3
Left Defender- #7 Kebba Marong. Age 32. Plays for the Istria Golden Bears.
Right Defender- #22 Saako Mbode. Age 21. Plays for the Kapetägien Kestrels.

Forwards
Line 1
Center- #40 Okeli Uwaezuoke. Age 31. Jaromirgrad Huskies. Captain
Left Wing- #5 Émile Leroux. Age 27. Stalliongrad Mountaineers. Born in Quebec to Quebecois parents, moved to Banija at age 5.
Right Wing- #6 Joylord Nyauchi. Age 27. Plays for the Shamkir Whalers. Loyola-Istria graduate.

Line 2
Center- #1 Oneka Lumala. Age 27. New Istria Eagles.
Left Wing- #33 Muhammad Ngoche. Age 33. Plays for the Schemerdrecht Caribou. Second Alternate Captain
Right Wing- #16 Kemoba Sanya. Age 19. Plays for Northern Moravica University.

Line 3
Center- #13 Owole Masenseke. Age 27. Bouveil Barracudas.
Left Wing- #2 Kiho Yiga. Age 24. New Istria Eagles.
Right Wing- #4 Ochen Kalamazi. Age 25. Gold Coast Thunder.

Line 4
Center- #8 Onzi Katabwa. Age 23. Plays for the Mansfield Warriors.
Left Wing - #10 Mori Muzinga. Age 21. Plays for the St. Jakob Crusaders.
Right Wing- #14 Kintu Nkwanzee. Age 22. Plays for the New Istria Eagles.

Notes:
The team's special teams tend to struggle, as they are more likely to score goals when it's 5 v 5.

As Banija is a country that lacks winter, the sport's popularity struggles inside the country itself. However, Banijans rank as some of the largest migratory people in the multiverse, as there are multitudes of Banijan migrant communities across Atlantian Oceania and far beyond. Therefore, the vast majority of places come from those Banijan migrant communities, in countries that actually have winter. Ice hockey has, quite famously, become a sport that migrant Banijan communities rally around, as thanks to the GBHL, it has become a way to connect both to other Banijan migrant communities, as well as the homeland.

At WCoH 46, Banija made the knockout stages at a World Cup of Hockey for the first time since WCoH 40 in Taeshan. After getting a rather encouraging run to the quarterfinals(where they were felled by tournament hosts, Mercedini), they built on that at WCoH 47. They stunned the entire multiverse by winning four consecutive KO stage games, to blow everybody away and reach their first ever Final, where they fell to Trolleborg, 2-0.

Unfortunately, the team could not build on this- falling out in the early KO stages of WCoH 48 & 49, while ultimately failing to even enter WCoH 50. But they are here, an invited nation in Esportiva, still competing- can they get the job done on the ice?

Style Mod: -2
RP Permissions: Anything is game, although you need my permission to kill anyone. No pandemics of any kind allowed. Hockey's not that big in country, so expect Banija's fanbase at each game to be much smaller than our opponent's. If you injure somebody, please specify what the injury is and how many games they will be expected to miss.

by **South Newlandia** » Tue Feb 06, 2024 4:45 pm

After some delays, it is here - the first cutoff of the Esportivan Sporting Festival. Let the games begin! (I will be adding one sport at a time)

If you notice any mistakes, please alert me ASAP!

Campionato Esportiva 37

Group A
Josifovo 1–0 South Newlandia
Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison 0–2 Sylestone
Dispertag 2–5 Irithoren

P Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Irithoren                        1   1  0  0    5   2  +3    3
2 Sylestone                        1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
3 Josifovo                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 South Newlandia                  1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
5 Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison   1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0
6 Dispertag                        1   0  0  1    2   5  −3    0

Group B
Damukuni 1–0 Hapilopper
Xanneria 1–0 Vangaziland
TJUN-ia 2–0 Acadiana

P Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                          1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
2 Damukuni                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
  Xanneria                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Hapilopper                       1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
  Vangaziland                      1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6 Acadiana                         1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Group C
Macbon 1–2 Dod Rava
Robostania 1–1 Nerriat
Gunnison and Telluride 0–1 The Hannasean Federation

P Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Dod Rava                         1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
2 The Hannasean Federation         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Nerriat                          1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Robostania                       1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
5 Macbon                           1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
6 Gunnison and Telluride           1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group D
North Pole and South Lapland 0–1 Natanians and Nosts
Eshialand 2–3 Lozho
Slembana 1–4 Gouvanarch

P Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Gouvanarch                       1   1  0  0    4   1  +3    3
2 Lozho                            1   1  0  0    3   2  +1    3
3 Natanians and Nosts              1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Eshialand                        1   0  0  1    2   3  −1    0
5 North Pole and South Lapland     1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6 Slembana                         1   0  0  1    1   4  −3    0

Group E
Fhulghamous Peninsula 3–0 Schimata
Boring Paradise 0–1 Tumbra
Kita-Hinode 1–2 Esportivan Darmen

P Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Fhulghamous Peninsula            1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Esportivan Darmen                1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
3 Tumbra                           1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Kita-Hinode                      1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
5 Boring Paradise                  1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6 Schimata                         1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

Espo T20 IV

as a reminder, the first two games are played at the Black Dolphin Arena, the other two at Harrier Stadium.

Lozho 168/7 (20 overs)
TJUN-ia 177/6 (20 overs)
TJUN-ia win by 9 runs

Esportivan Darmen 124/5 (20 overs)
Tumbra 126/6 (17.3 overs)
Tumbra win by four wickets

South Newlandia 143 (19.2 overs)
Sylestone 167/8 (20 overs)
Sylestone win by 24 runs

Natanians and Nosts 174/6 (20 overs)
The Plough Islands 181/6 (20 overs)
The Plough Islands win by seven runs

P Group                Pld   W  D  L      NRR  Pts 
1 Sylestone              1   1  0  0   +1.200    2
2 Tumbra                 1   1  0  0   +1.000    2
3 TJUN-ia                1   1  0  0   +0.450    2
4 The Plough Islands     1   1  0  0   +0.350    2
5 Natanians and Nosts    1   0  0  1   -0.350    0
6 Esportivan Darmen      1   0  0  1   -0.450    0
7 Lozho                  1   0  0  1   -1.000    0
8 South Newlandia        1   0  0  1   -1.200    0

Esportivan Baseball Trophy III

As a reminder: DH preference goes with the home team (playing the bottom innings).

Group A
Esportivan Darmen             0 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 2  5
Xanneria                      0 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1  4

TJUN-ia                       0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
South Newlandia               0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 X  3

The Hannasean Federation      0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
Eshialand                     0 0 0 2 0 0 0 1 X  3

P Group A                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 Eshialand                     1   1  0    3   0  +3    1.000
  South Newlandia               1   1  0    3   0  +3    1.000
3 Esportivan Darmen             1   1  0    5   4  +1    1.000
4 Xanneria                      1   0  1    4   5  −1    0.000
5 The Hannasean Federation      1   0  1    0   3  −3    0.000
  TJUN-ia                       1   0  1    0   3  −3    0.000

Group B
Natanians and Nosts           1 2 2 0 0 0 0 1 1  7
Acadiana                      1 1 0 0 1 2 0 0 0  5

Ranoria                       0 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0  3
Super-Llamaland               0 0 2 0 0 3 0 2 X  7

Dod Rava                      0 0 0 2 0 0 0 4 0  6
Irithoren                     0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0

P Group B                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 Dod Rava                      1   1  0    6   0  +6    1.000
2 Super-Llamaland               1   1  0    7   3  +4    1.000
3 Natanians and Nosts           1   1  0    7   5  +2    1.000
4 Acadiana                      1   0  1    5   7  −2    0.000
5 Ranoria                       1   0  1    3   7  −4    0.000
6 Irithoren                     1   0  1    0   6  −6    0.000

Esportivan Ice Hockey Trophy II

Group A
North Pole and South Lapland 0–2 Tumbra
South Newlandia 6–5 Dod Rava
Eshialand 0–7 TJUN-ia

P Group A                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                        1   1  0  0    7   0  +7    3
2 Tumbra                         1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
3 South Newlandia                1   1  0  0    6   5  +1    3
4 Dod Rava                       1   0  0  1    5   6  −1    0
5 North Pole and South Lapland   1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0
6 Eshialand                      1   0  0  1    0   7  −7    0

Group B
Vangaziland 6–3 Natanians and Nosts
Esportivan Darmen 0–1 Banija
Xanneria 1–0 Lozho

P Group B                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Vangaziland                    1   1  0  0    6   3  +3    3
2 Banija                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
  Xanneria                       1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Esportivan Darmen              1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
  Lozho                          1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6 Natanians and Nosts            1   0  0  1    3   6  −3    0

Esportivan Handball Trophy II

Group A
The Hannasean Federation 24–32 South Newlandia
Natanians and Nosts 22–27 HUElavia
Vangaziland 24–32 Sylestone

P Group                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 South Newlandia               1   1  0  0   32  24  +8    2
  Sylestone                     1   1  0  0   32  24  +8    2
3 HUElavia                      1   1  0  0   27  22  +5    2
4 Natanians and Nosts           1   0  0  1   22  27  −5    0
5 The Hannasean Federation      1   0  0  1   24  32  −8    0
  Vangaziland                   1   0  0  1   24  32  −8    0

Esportivan Karting Trophy

Week 1: Training and Qualifying

Conditions:      	Dry
Nation:         	SNL
Circuit:        	Desert Karting Track

Training results are up to the roleplayers.
Each racer has two laps to set their qualifying time. The faster time is counted.

POS # DRIVER                   	FASTEST LAP	GAP TO LEADER
 1 17 Ted Pressley             	00:00:42.898	00:00:00.000
 2 15 Sentient Engine          	00:00:43.069	00:00:00.171
 3 16 Lane Carter              	00:00:43.084	00:00:00.186
 4  1 Jyri Jatkola             	00:00:43.193	00:00:00.295
 5 14 Robin Dragonovic         	00:00:43.201	00:00:00.303
 6  5 Evangelos Kalyftakis     	00:00:43.304	00:00:00.406
 7 18 C J N M M Suh-Hyung      	00:00:43.328	00:00:00.430
 8  6 Tucker Capps             	00:00:43.332	00:00:00.434
 9  3 Julita Lérida            	00:00:44.102	00:00:01.204
10  8 Rudy Edwards             	00:00:44.985	00:00:02.087
11 11 Ion Numa Apilescu        	00:00:45.216	00:00:02.319
12  7 Victoria Davidson        	00:00:45.285	00:00:02.387
13 13 Nepö Kinder              	00:00:45.336	00:00:02.438
14 12 Gabriel Morales          	00:00:45.516	00:00:02.618
15  9 Karim Dafiyrah           	00:00:45.962	00:00:03.064
16 19 Janet Franssen           	00:00:46.165	00:00:03.267
17  4 Willum Bond              	00:00:46.591	00:00:03.693
18  2 Gilles Taggart-Kennard   	00:00:47.699	00:00:04.801
19 10 Zebediah von Ziggler     	00:00:47.985	00:00:05.087

by **Tumbra** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 8:14 am

Boring Paradise 0–1 Tumbra

TMB (4-2-3-1): 12 - R Russell, 2 - A Renton, 4 - Y Lawson (14 - W Pritchett, 70'), 5 - S Kerr, 19 - Shim SY; 6 - T Harrison, 25 - H Hindmarsh (16 - S Harrington, 70'), 8 - I Robertson (10 - N Coleman, 78'); 7 - V Wells (17 - E Robertson, 81'), 9 - L Crossley; 11 - C Henshaw (22 - E Maddison, 81')

TMB scorers: Lynne Crossley (13')

Player of the Match: Shim Seo-yeon (TMB)

Black Eagles' Campionato campaign off to solid start with 1-0 victory over Boring Paradise

ELEPHANT VALLEY — Tumbra's Campionato Esportiva 37 campaign got off to a solid, if somewhat uninspiring start, as Lynne Crossley fired one past Boring Paradise to open the team's account with a win. The game, which started at 20:00 local time, marked the national team debut of one Heather Hindmarsh, who started next to national team captain Trudy Harrison. Interviewed after the game, Hindmarsh said that to wear the black-and-gold was "a dream come true for her," and admitted that while she was nervous, "Trudy was a big help in assuaging my nerves throughout the game." The Newark Argyle defensive midfielder rose to prominence in Newark's surprise run to seventh in the T-League, and subsequent qualification to international competition.

Michael Campbell, the national team manager, said that "I think the press will have to do quite a bit of searching for highlights from that game, but from my point of view we did exactly what was needed — score and play our defensive game to completion." The team is currently considered to be in a bit of a transitory era, with long-time stalwarts such as Ian Ashburn and Vincent Hicks having departed the national team set-up following the conclusion of the team's World Cup 95 campaign; the latter as the team's most-capped player, with 211 matches played for the Black Eagles. But Campbell has strenuously denied claims that this team is taking this tournament easily. "I don't agree with any suggestion that Tumbra are coasting," he said in the press conference after the game. "Every team I pick, every team I bring to ever tournament knows exactly what is at stake; knows what I expect of them and I expect their all, no matter the opponent or the plan."

Tumbra are expected to field a semi-rotated line-up against two-time World Champions Kita-Hinode, long-time stalwarts of the region. "No matter who or what we face, we're always going to be prepared for whatever eventuality," Campbell said, noting the lack of concrete information on the Hinodejin national team. "They are, after all, two-time world champions; we're going to take this game seriously."

Elsewhere in South Newlandia, the hosts fell to the exciting northwestern team of Josifovo, while World Cup quarterfinalists Sylestone beat Cheetahs and reptiles coalision 2-0 as they, too, seek to carve out their own Campionato Esportiva campaign to remember.

Kim throws barbs at Newell and Young at United leadership debate; Prime Minister and former Georgia Premier neck-and-neck in polling

RIDGEWELL — Thomas Kim emerged as the strongest candidate on-stage after the United Party's leadership debate on Wednesday evening, but pundits mostly agreed that the other two candidates on stage — Prime Minister Lawrence Newell and one-time Presidential candidate and former Georgia premier, Max Young, had refrained from attacking each other out of a perceived unwillingness to damage the new United Party's brand before federal elections are due later this year. The outcome of the debate on the overall leadership race, however, is expected to be minimal; with the leadership election likely to come down to whether centre-right voters prefer Newell or Young's personality.

Throughout the ninety-minute debate three candidates were asked questions by debate moderator and TNN (Tumbran News Network) journalist Jodie Schumacher on what most pundits called a "very limited selection of issues" which the right could conceivably call their "pet topics"; defence and foreign policy were high on the agenda, while questions on more sensitive topics such as immigration and healthcare had to be brought up by the audience during the second half of the debate. Both Newell and Young were quite in agreement on the major issues, including the construction of a third aircraft carrier for the Tumbran Navy, and the strengthening of alliances with nations outside of Esportiva such as Mertagne and Græntfjall. There were minor disagreements over the role of the Esportivan Union in Tumbran foreign policy, but the two candidates seemed to only differ marginally on almost every other question.

"This is mainly because Young and Newell have already publicly said they would appoint the other as their deputy if elected," says Assoc. Professor Jerome Walthenborn of the University of Couno. "The two aren't attacking each other because they know that any attack they make on each other now could be used by Labour during the general election campaign, and also because they need each other." Prime Minister Newell has been seen by the general public as one of the 'nasty conservatives' on the right of Tumbran politics, yet he has nearly twenty years of experience as a federal MP and nearly a decade of experience in government; Premier Young has negligible experience in federal politics, which was widely seen to be why he lost the 2032 presidential election; but is perceived as a 'friendlier, somewhat more moderate part of the old Liberals.'

"I think the two candidates thought this election would be a fait accompli — that is to say, something with a result largely preordained — but the entrance of Kim shook up the dynamic of the race." Thomas Kim, a tech billionaire and head of multiple companies but has been primarily associated with TK Corp., entered the race with just enough signatures by the filing deadline; and has self-funded his leadership campaign. Calling for "politics not as usual," Kim has blasted Newell and Young for attempting to "engineer this race solely to show that our party is democratic while ignoring the very legitimate criticism that some members of our party have of the two," and was the only candidate at the debates to attack both Young and Newell; questioning Young on his deep Catholic faith while accusing Newell of wanting to roll back abortion rights — a position that Newell has strenuously denied.

Kim has taken positions that would place him towards the more moderate wing of his party, while being unashamedly the most "pro-business" candidate of the trio. "I am an innovation candidate, and my entire adult life has been shaped by innovation," he said as part of his opening statement. "Innovation will be what keeps Tumbra strong; innovation in politics, being against politics as usual, is why I am standing in front of you tonight." Most viewers said that he 'won' the debate with his spirited conduct and rebuttals of Young and Newell's points; but the billionaire, who is currently in the midst of a takeover of football club Couno Rangers, still severely lags behind the two established candidates in terms of polling.

Assoc. Professor Walthenborn has warned that Kim's positions, however, may be a result of him wishing to present himself as more adverserial to Young and Newell more than any passionately-held political positions of his own. "Kim is a political unknown," he said, "which means he can take whichever political positions are most advantageous to him at any point in time. As a political novice, too, he could easily move more conservative if that is what he determines the mood of the party to be without being accused of being a flip-flopper; by simply playing up his political naïveté in this campaign."

Voters all across the country will be accorded the right to vote for one of Newell, Kim, or Young as the new head of the United Party in an 'open primary' to be held two weeks from now, alongside votes for the United Party's parliamentary candidate in each of the six hundred and fifty federal constituencies; up to two million voters are expected. Recent polls amongst voters show Newell and Young are neck-and-neck at around forty percent of the vote; Kim has been polling at around seven percent, while undecideds and don't knows make up the rest.

The opposition Labour Party has been quiet on the leadership election, saying that "It is not our position to comment on another political party's internal selection processes," but sources have informed various news outlets that Kim's attacks on Newell and Young could form the 'core' of any negative advertising strategy during the federal election due this year. Labour are currently leading in first preference polls by about two to three points; which most projections point towards a hung parliament with the centre-left party as the biggest in Parliament.

Pressley to donate proceedings from representing nation at karts to charity; "I don't have anything agreed with any team yet"

SUN CITY — Tumbran WGPC driver Ted Pressley has welcomed suggestions as to which charity he will donate the proceeds from racing as the Tumbran national representative in the inaugural Esportivan Karting Trophy to; saying that this would be a great opportunity to put a charity "which might be lesser-known." The two-season WGPC driver was all smiles after qualifying in Sun City, where he beat Sylestonean representative S. Engine to secure pole for the opening race of the championship. "It's great to be here with representatives from the grid like Rudy Edwards, and future WGPC drivers like Julita Lérida and Nepö Kinder," he said. "I think the performance of Jyri Jatkola from Aboveland has been terrific too, what with the pressure of competing against fully-fledged WGPC and WGP2 drivers." Abovian driver Jatkola is the youngest driver on the grid, at just 15.

When asked about his future plans in WGPC, however, Pressley was more coy. "I don't have anything agreed with any team yet, and it's not at the front of my mind right now," he said after qualifying. "I'm open to most offers and looking forward to grow with other teams on the prospective WGPC 21 grid, but my first priority now is to do well for Tumbra. And hey, if I don't get a seat in WGPC, I can always get a ride in Tumbran Super Formula for a year or two." Pressley has been linked, at various times, with several open seats at Preston Autos, Race Eelandii VTGP and the recently-renamed Colorworks team, but nothing concrete has come out of these rumours.

STARTING LINEUP FOR TUMBRA v KITA-HINODE
TMB (4-3-3): 12 - R Russell, 18 - H Kennedy, 24 - B Proudfoot, 5 - S Kerr, 3 - T Mercurio; 6 - T Harrison, 8 - I Robertson, 23 - V Leighton; 17 - E Robertson; 9 - L Crossley; 22 - E Maddison

by **Xanneria** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 11:17 am

XANNERIA MAROONS CE37 Roster

Preferred XI

GK Evan Jefferson Jr (29) Sporting Jagalan SRS

DF Trey Dillon (25) Hawthorne KickersXAN

DF David Iowa (28) Cazadores Cathair AUD

DF Hibernardo Selltick Garden City FC FVA

DM Allie Jordan (27) - Austin CityXAN

DM Allison Iowa-Burroughs (25) - Auprussia NF AUP

OM Kevin Young (22) Pearlham SC XAN

OM Italo D'arcy (27) Rogerton Whitecaps DAR

ST Pete Ross (24) Free Agent FA

ST Dillon Hailey (23) Hawthorne KickersXAN

ST Allison Burnes (27) - Austin CityXAN

RESERVES

GK Owen Toole (22) - SK Nasjonale Hauker (PIS)
GK Gordie LaPoint (31) - Tsear FC (SAT)
DF Rhinestone Hailey (27) - Austin City (XAN)
DF Sally Tshinpoga (25) - Hawthorne Kickers (XAN)
DF Ranger Selltick (26) - Pearlham SC (XAN)
DF Brynn Satterfield (25) - Torvoca Thunder (TKT)
DF Colton Boyd-Church (25) - Waldster FC (FVA)
DF Jamal Akron (24) - St Aston's City (FVA)
DM Dawson Plante (25) - Galaxy SC (XAN)
DM Towson Cowper (25) - Lublova Reds (SRS)
DM Jessica Brody (22) - Brivistice (AUP)
DM Brandon Clippard (22) - Galaxy SC (XAN)
OM Harmony Ghilcrest (25) - Sandfjell Football (CND)
OM Allie Jordan (26) - Austin City (XAN)
OM Rylee Greerenbach (25) - FREE AGENT
OM Theodore Lemons (22) - Carelton Park Rangers
ST Malcolm-Jamal Haddix (21) - UET-High Country (XAN)
ST Gunnar MacLane (22) Wilmington United (MYR)
ST Jari Juups (30) - Mosfleet Albion (ELM)
ST Enoch Varney (23) - Alexandria City (XAN)
ST Denise Auburn (22) - Eolerent (AUP)
ST Yolinda Sequin (29) - Hawthorne Kickers (XAN)

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Godmod scoring events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: Yes (BUT PM ME FIRST)
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out penalties to my players: Yes
Eject my players: Yes
Godmod other events: Yes
Select My Starting XI: Yes (Formation is 3-2-2-2)

STYLE MOD: +3

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 3:56 pm

By Peter Davis

I know what you all are thinking. "I thought you were retired?" or something of that ilk. Yes, I know the Boot It! service fell out of the public eye, but we're still running strong...and because of this momentous occasion, the Government called me up to cover everything that we are a part of here in South Newlandia. TJUN-ia is Esportivan. I guess you already knew that. So instead of competing at the IAC, we are now bound to the Campionato Esportiva and it is the 37th edition that we will make our debut in. But that isn't all. This is also the 3rd Esportivan Sporting Festival and as a result, I will also have to cover the 4th Espo T20, the 3rd EBT (Baseball), the 2nd EIHT (Ice Hockey) and the 1st EKT (Karting). That's a lot of ground to cover over the next 9 Days of competition...so let's see how Day 1 went, huh?

Jaguars
Let's start at the obvious place - the EsportivArena in Newport. TJUN-ian football didn't have fun at the last WCQ process, then having to suffer the pain of beating Kimi-Suomi 9-0 only to blow the 2nd Ice War 10-4 overall. Never before has the pressure on David Seems and Li Xiu Ying been this hard in their history as our head coaches but you could certainly understand why. Kim Choi-ya gave up everything for this team but now, the Captaincy has passed to Chelsea Bluewood - our first-ever female captain - and she certainly is up for a fight in this new era.

Quebecois Acadiana, simply just 'Acadiana' from this point on, were our first-ever opponents at a CE - and that was historic in of itself. Our KPB carryover means we entered this debut CE seeded #19 without even kicking a ball...but this game gave us our first opportunity to prove this ranking isn't a fluke to make us feel better during the transition. We did what we needed to do in this contest with a simple 2-0 win, one goal in each half thanks to Fernandino and Regina McDuff. Up next? Vangaziland.

Bowlin' Jags
Roger Ntini was back in command for the Bowlin' Jaguars in New Colk and this new frontier would start against Lozho. Fazj Zander's side were put into bowling first by Ntini here at the neutral Black Dolphin Arena and things would certainly get interesting from here on out. Chase Helton would end up being a big deal in our innings with 87 scored while Zatri Qaraq responded with 3 wickets of their own. Helton's scoring, combined with 41 from Esteban Soto, pushed us to a score of 177/6 - a score we felt would be good enough to keep hold of. Lozho did come close in the chase, with Rick Zrumhammer managing 67, but Lozho came just about came 9 runs short after 168/7 was put on the board...a tight start, but still a win all the same. Up next? Guests The Plough Islands.

Battin' Jags
Over at Elephant Stadium in Elephant Valley, the Battin' Jaguars had a rare senior tournament in between WBCs to enjoy...while also trying to build for tests to come. South Newlandia themselves, coached by Sofia Rasmussen, were up first with Kimi Holvanen starting against Maike Bookmer. Facing off against a 2-time WBC Champion side was always going to be a stern test for a TJUN-ian side lacking the spark of past successes, but a 3-0 shutout just cemented the gaps between us all. In a game where the DH was in play (hello Anna Builler), it would be SNL that took the slow and steady approach to the win as DH Nolan Ramsey (2nd) and Mike Oeland (3rd) made it 2-0 early on. We couldn't respond at all and when Leo Jimenez brought home Maria Philipps in the 8th, the job was done...and we would start Group A 0-1. Up next? Esportivan Darmen.

Ice Jagaurs
Yes, the Ice Jaguars are dealing with this EIHT before the WCoH starts up, which should certainly help in their preparation for the big event. The Valley Rink in Elephant Valley is their home for Group A play and that started against Eshialand, who haven't played internationally in eight years. Safe to say, you could tell Eshialand last played in WCoH46 as the Ice Jagaurs took no prisoners and just decided to cause chaos for the hell of it. Saffron Allen ended up scoring 4 goals in this game in a masterful display while Luis Olivares, Carter Marshall and John McKraken all ended up on the scoresheet in this 7-0 demolition job. Up next? Tumbra.

Lane Carter
The MRO opted for Lane Carter because out of everyone available, he seemed to be in desperate need for this opportunity...especially since his Race Eelandii seat is open in all but name. There were some familiar names here alongside the Galarian for the 4-race series - Julita Lérida (Dod Rava) was s name that seemed familiar, Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper) came from WGPC, Nepö Kinder (Nico Hulkenberg) was in WGP2, Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia) is Jaguar Racing's Test Driver and someone Lane knew all too well, Ted Pressley (Tumbra) was also from WGPC and Tucker Capps (Xanneria) was formerly of NSSCRA. This grid of 19 was filled with drivers familiar and unfamiliar but for Lane Carter, he didn't really care about who was here - he just wanted to make his adopted homeland proud.

The Desert Karting Track in Sun City was an interesting place to start, a place where the sun itself could end up being your worst rival, and the track itself felt like it was split in two - between a technical Sector 2 and a fast Sectors 1 and 3 - despite the fact one lap around here should take you less than 50 seconds on these spec karts. For qualifying, everyone only gets two laps to try and set the best time and while Lap 1 was OK for the Galarian, Lap 2 was even better and a 43.084 is enough to see him start 3rd for the Race, behind Pressley and the Sentient Engine from Sylestone. Dragonovic, who readers will have a keen interest in for obvious reasons, starts in P5.

by **Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 5:35 pm

# name age position height club

starters:1-11 reserves:12-23

1	Ubiratã Ubirajara Ubiraci	33	goalkeeper	1,98	F.C. Loch Blue
2	Nozâ Norõwada			31	r. back	 	1,62	Napigixo F.C.
3	Tata'a Tapixi Xaxim		33	centre back	1,80	High Plains F.C.
4	João Miguel Irima		33	centre back	1,80	Pira Guaçu E.C.
5	Indaje Nhakyrã Iraity		32	d. midfielder	1,85	Goj Kyfé F.C.
6	Natalagha Napiini		31	l. back	 	1,62	Natena F.C.
7	Martim Nhana'i Nhamokyrã	35	a. midfielder	1,75	Aruanãs Azuis F.C.
8	Mario Giovanni Petrescu		38	d. midfielder	1,75	Goj Kyfé F.C.
9	Peri Ubiratã Tibiriçá		32	a. midfielder	1,77	F.C. Loch Blue
10	Rhinić				32	striker	 	1,77	F.C. Loch Blue
11	Sinusić				32	striker	 	1,77	F.C. Loch Blue
12	Cláudio Alberto Vieira		33	goalkeeper	1,96	High Plains F.C.
13	Napocenigi Natenaghaneghegi	33	centre back	1,90	Napigixo F.C.
14	Natenoghodi Natena		34	r. back	 	1,72	Napiini F.C.
15	Mihai Ioan Ionescu		37	centre back	1,85	Goj Kyfé F.C.
16	Natenaghanagha Natena		34	l. back	 	1,72	Napiini F.C.
17	Na'arew Nàrà'zyw		37	a. midfielder	1,77	F.C. TatáResape
18	Nhanarã Norõwede		37	d. midfielder	1,84	Awaru F.C.
19	Meiruguassu Moacir Silveira	31	d. midfielder	1,76	Guassu Guaçu F.C.
20	Tawato Inaje Akaju'y		30	striker	 	1,60	Cheetah Dinamo
21	Noledi Noniciwagha		30	a. midfielder	1,97	Goj Kyfé F.C.
22	Guaraci Ubiratã da Silva	36	goalkeeper	1,95	F.C. Loch Blue
23	João Guaraci dos Santos		37	striker	 	1,70	High Plains F.C.

captain's name is in blue

Style modifier:-4,227

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Just make it be by Rhinić and Sinusić,with the ocasional goal of Peri Ubiratã Tibiriçá,anyone else's is rarer
Godmod scoring events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: No
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes (only two per game)
Hand out red cards to my players: Yes (but never the goalkeeper)
Godmod other events: No

by **Super-Llamaland** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 10:33 pm

OOC note: this RP references this WBC55 RP, this WBC49 RP, and the IBS recurring line starting here.

before the Esportivan Baseball Trophy

“I think you’ve had enough, man,” the bartender says, while casting a sideways glance at Elijah. It’s an expression he recognizes well: after all, he gets it basically every time he goes out with Bradley Guo, his friend and once-teammate. Shouldn’t you be doing something here?

“Yeah, come on, Bradley. Let’s switch to water for a bit, yeah?”

The New Llama Wizards infielder ignores the suggestion, instead finishing what is now his final drink of the night and slurring something.

“What was that?”

“I said. What do you think would’ve happened if we won that IBS final against Daskel?” If Bradley hadn’t just been cut off, this would’ve been a sign to do so. He wasn’t sure if Bradley only thought about it when he got Sad Drunk, or if he was just normally better at hiding it.

“I dunno, man. It’s the International Baseball Slam, not the WBC or Multiverse Series. I don’t think it really mattered in the long run.”

“It didn’t matter? Elijah, you realize that’s the only international final we’ve made in the last thirty years? Ever since The Wall came down - which, how come nobody ever talks about that? We still don’t even know how it happened, but everyone just accepts there was some kind of interdimensional forcefield surrounding the country for ten years and never talks about it.”

“...huh? People talk about it all the time.”

“Yeah, but it never comes up in, like, baseball match reports and shit,” Bradley replied, hiccuping. “Anyway,” he said, breezing through Elijah’s immediate objections to his previous statement, “ever since that wall came down, another one’s come up between us and baseball silverware. But this one…we had a chance to break it early. Right when we got back. Sure, it was a team of ten-year-olds, but that was the best chance we were ever going to get. Personally, I think having the DH back cursed us. No offense, man, I know Buck has you there, but it's ruining baseball.”

Having no response to that, Elijah chose to change the subject. “Hey, Esportiva Baseball Trophy’s coming up. That’s winnable.”

“Yeah,” Bradley said, unconvinced. “When are you leaving me behind for South Newlandia?”

“Don’t be like that man, didn’t you live in Newport for four years?”

“Sorry,” he said, hands up. “Maybe I should be heading out. If I don’t see you before your flight, good luck with the tournament.”

“Alright. Get some rest, man. I’ll see you around.”

Bradley does not sleep that night. Instead, he replays one moment over and over in his head until he finally, mercifully slips unconscious at eight in the morning.

“Daskel in deep trouble here in what could be a series-clinching defeat for them, as Mason Vasquez’s clutch game-tying hit has knocked Nire Kōichirō out of the game and put the Daskies on the ropes. We’ve got runners on the corners with just one out now for Bradley Guo, in to face Mizushima Hisashi in the top of the ninth inning with Game Four on the line.”
“Here’s Mizushima’s first pitch. Guo swings and bounces it to Genji. He flips to second for one…the throw to first is just in time!”
“Mizushima needs just one pitch to escape the jam, and Super-Llamaland misses a key chance to seal an IBS win for their preteen prodigies! And if the Tigers go on to lose the series, they’ll really be rueing this missed chance!”

Back at the New Llama bar they have just left, the man at the corner table lingers. He knows he has just been given an incredible opportunity, the kind that he hasn’t seen even in sixty years of chasing every opportunity he can get his hands on. Now, he just has to decide how best to seize it.

“Bradley Guo here, what are the odds?” Just No DH chairman Bryant Kennedy mutters to himself, before finally walking out the door several hours past closing.

by **Sylestone** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 6:58 am

“We have a date. The twelfth of May… 1261. Nearly 800 years ago.”

Jamie’s mouth dropped to the floor. What Archie was suggesting was completely unreal, completely senseless, in fact. It simply could not be real - it defied every law of Sylestonean history known. Yet, here was the evidence, lying right in front of their eyes.

A moment of shock passed between them, before Archie spoke again.

“It could all be a massive hoax, I guess. I mean, someone could’ve just stuck this here and waited for idiots like us to come along and lose our minds. Everyone in the country knows that recorded history starts on the 15th of February, 1543. The “Big Forget”, or whatever the scholars call it.”

For almost 500 years now, people have tried - and failed - to find an answer to the mysterious gap in Sylestonean history. In 1543, Sylestone was apparently a fledgling nation of two million inhabitants, mostly clustered in the cities of Avondale, Chamberley and Hageling. There were even mentions of the country as “the new republic”, although not new enough to be only days old - instead, the archives indicated that it had been a few years, maybe a decade, since Sylestone had become its own entity. But as for when that happened, or which country previously claimed the land as its own prior to this event, nothing is known. There were hints strewn every now and then - in 1543 and years following, there were mentions of a mysterious “great war”, with entire villages, towns and even cities flattened to the ground but even more quizzically, no one back then seemed to know why, or how, it came to be. Seemingly, it had nothing to do with skirmishes with Irundji tribes, the type that continued for centuries before agreements were reached in 1910, for they were fairly few and far between, and the apparent local people (or so it is thought - their darker skin tone, tribal nature, etc indicates that they were here well before settlers set foot upon the nation’s shores) did not have the technology to ransack cities in such a way. Not even searching through the archives of local nations seemed to help puzzled historians - while nations such as Lozho, Tumbra, Cyborg Holland, Apox, the list goes on, had plenty of records from before 1543, any mention of Sylestone seemed to be wiped before mid-Feburary of the aforementioned year.

Hence, the event became known as the “Big Forget” - rather apt considering the carefree, not-give-a-fuck Sylestonean trait seemingly coded in everyone born in the land¹. Over the past 500 years - well 494 to be exact, for the current year is 2037 - many an individual has set out to decode the ancient history of the land they stood upon, and all have come away with nothing conclusive whatsoever. Currently, most Sylestoneans adopted the theory that some strange magic - whether it was forgotten with the wiping, still lurks in the shadows, or was completed by some higher power as a sign for whatever reason - was utilised to ensure all mention of Sylestone, or Sylestonean lands had dissipated from everywhere. Quite legitimately, everything had gone poof.

The weirdest thing was that, reportedly, everyone still knew everything about their own personal lives, and strangely enough, seemingly everyone had a fairly similar, fairly vanilla past. Of course, differences could be noted here and there, but everyone had lived in peace. And if you took one look at literally any city or large town in the country, you could tell that the very recent past was very much not peaceful.

That’s what sparked the theory of the “Big Forget”. By that school of thought, someone, a group of someones or even a something, had the ability to completely destroy the very essence of a nation and return it to new beginnings, the memories of an alternate reality behind them. In fact, if the history had been rewritten, the cities returned to new, all of that, then there was every chance that no one would ever discover anything abnormal.

But no, either the architects of the “Big Forget” could not hold enough power to permanently rewrite history, or it was left intentionally blank, for someone to finally figure out the mystery one day. It was all very strange, but it was the most logical answer to the mystery.

And if you believed in the supernatural, one might say it could make sense.

Yet, here before the two men, was a monument that basically disproved that theory. That is, if Archie was wrong and it was indeed from the year 1261. But to Jamie, that did not seem very likely. Sure, the stone, its plaque, everything about it appeared ancient, but five hundred years is a looooong time. If it was indeed a fake, then it could’ve still been here for centuries collecting dust, dirt, sand, anything. Its age didn’t tell anything.

As Jamie returned from his musing, he noticed Archie waiting for his guidance, not sure what to do. With all these thoughts coursing through his mind, he could only stammer something along the lines of “I- I- you might be right, yes. It’s probably just a hoax.” He took a deep breath. “Either way, we need to remember where this is and get to Clontarf as soon as possible. Our families are probably worried to death and knowing them, people are already out and about looking for us.”

Gulping down air, Jamie continued. “They’re probably worried sick that we got swept away in the storm. Fuck, we’re idiots. We’re such idiots.”

It wasn’t like Jamie to cry but as he continued, he could feel the tears building up in his eyes, preparing to stream down his face. All he could think of was his partner and 2-year-old daughter, his parents, sisters, the state they’d all be in. He looked over at Archie for support, only to see the exact same thing happening to his friend.

It was Archie who reacted first. “Well, the sooner we get out of here, the sooner we reach civilisation, the better. We know where we are - the coordinates on the plaque tell us everything we need to know. I don’t think we’re all that far from Clontarf, maybe 30 kilometres, 40 potentially? We’ll have plenty of power, won’t we?”

Jamie nodded, having recovered from his episode. “Yeah, plenty. Depending on how far away we are, I doubt we’ll make it before the stars come out, but the dock remains manned until about 9 or 10 on Sundays. We should make it fine, and if we can’t then we’ll anchor as close as possible.”

“Okay, let’s get out of here.”

* * *

Two hours later

It hadn’t taken long for the twilight glittering of Clontarf to come into view. In fact, Jamie was glad it was twilight - it made finding the town so much easier, with the lights of a few thousand homes giving its location away like a beacon. He had to be careful, though - he knew that if he cut straight across the water after dusk, he wouldn’t be able to tell where the reefs would be, and the chances of sinking his ship would be that much greater. Instead ,they had to kind of circle along the shoreline - far enough out to avoid stray rocks, but not so far that a reef would tear apart the hull and leave them for the sharks.

It was close to 9 o’clock by the time the boat pulled into the harbour, water lapping up its sides as they tied it down at a free spot along the jetty. Five minutes later they were in the Clontarf marina, explaining to a very confused man why they were here without a permit - to fish off many coastal towns such as Knagelme and Clontarf, you had to be officially approved by both a government department and the local marina and here at Clontarf, they had nothing to prove that they were allowed here. Sure, it was a system that has come into much scrutiny by wannabe fishermen, but it’s the way it is.

A racket outside the door caused the men to pause their conversation as they turned towards the entrance, only to see two police officers saunter in.

And stopped.

The older of the two officers was the first to react. Clearing his throat, he peered towards the two men, clothes still drenched after the storm, and broke the silence. “Jamie Rankin, Archie Fowles?” he questioned.

“Yes, that’s us”, Jamie responded.

The officer turned to the man at the marina. “Excuse us, sir, I presume that these two have come in to request a reservation at the dockside without a Clontarf Harbour permit?” The man’s nod was all the officer needed, as he promptly continued. “We’re going to have to grant an exception if that’s alright with you, sir. These two men are from Knagelme and have been missing all day out in the storm. Search parties all along this part of the western coast are out looking for them, so the sooner they come with us the better.’

The man nodded again. “I’ll sort something out. Provide a special reservation for the night. I doubt I’ll be able to hold it much longer, though. We have a few ships coming in tomorrow and we’ll need all the space we can.”

It was only then it struck Jamie how lucky they’d been. Oftentime, cruisers used Clontarf as a stop for a day and night on the way from Avondale to Chamberley or vice versa - while the town only had 10,000 or so residents, there was plenty of stuff to keep you occupied. After all, it was the largest town on the Paradise Coast² and is home to the country’s most famous chocolate factory, the “world’s best banana plantation” (or so they advertise) and Clontarf Football Stadium, home of Paradise Coast FC in the League Number Two³. As a result, the Clontarf Harbour was generally packed out but today, with all the big ships gone, they’d gotten lucky to find such space.

The police station wasn’t far away. It passed even quicker when the one in the passenger seat called each of their distraught families to confirm the two men were safe and sound, Jamie and Archie purposefully leaving out any mention of the monument until they reached the station. The officers could tell they were keeping something from them but after they insisted on holding off, they stopped with the persistence. Nevertheless, neither of them wanted the car ride to end - both had tears streaming down their faces for the second time in the past few hours and just wanted to talk, talk and keep on talking. All things concerned, they didn’t know how long it’d be until they returned to Knagelme - it could be tomorrow, or far further down the track. Who knew how people would react to the new information they would bring?

Of course, there was every chance they’d choose not to believe the men. Everyone knew the story about the Tomb of Coen - back in 1934, a couple claimed to find a tomb dating back to the year 919 in the Cable Alps, but it was very quickly realised to be a fake and, not long after, the couple themselves admitted to placing it there ten years prior. There would be scepticism surrounding it but at least, they knew that it wasn't by their hand if it turned out it was just a fake.

The senior constable at the police station recognised the two men on sight. A quick exchange between the officers resulted in Jamie and Archie being seated and the senior constable facing them.

“So, I’ve heard there’s something you’re yet to tell us, or anyone. Is this appropriate?”

And so the two seated men recounted their entire day, from the fishing expedition, to the storm, to the finding of the monument, and all the way to returning to Clontarf. By the time they’d finished, they had three usually circumspect officers gaping at them, very obviously astonished at what they’d just heard.

Like at the marina, it was the older of the two officers who cut the tension with a knife. “Well, I think that’s just crock shit.” A stare from the senior constable silenced him. “Sorry ma’am, I just don’t believe what I’m hearing.”

The senior constable mused on that thought for the moment. “I don’t see why they’d lie about it. They’ve been through a tropical storm, got washed up on a beach and found this. The reasoning is very logical, even though the claim itself is, well, outlandish to say the least. I think we have no choice but to pass the word on and eventually, get it checked out. Maybe it’ll be us, maybe someone else.

“But any word of this getting out to the public, it’s a no-no. Your wives, girlfriends, kids, families, friends. Until we have more information, what’s been said in this room must stay in this room.” The senior constable’s eyes crossed from one member to another, her harsh ocean blue irises resting on each person before moving on. The officer who had called Jamie and Archie out was quiet - he'd clearly seen those eyes before, and it meant that her word was final.

She turned to the two men seated, clearly unsure of what to do. “Stay here for the night and I’ll send word off to Avondale. With luck, we should know by tomorrow afternoon what’s happening. Sit tight until then, for your services may be needed once more. I’ll be letting your bosses know you won’t be coming in at least tomorrow and perhaps indefinitely.”

And that’s how, three days later, Archie and Jamie ended up on a boat with the senior constable herself, an archaeologist and the Clontarf MP. For the most part, the crew remained fairly distant from one another - the archaeologist was sharpening his tools, the senior constable was reading some book or another and the politician was mulling over something or another. Jamie didn’t understand politics. Sure, he knew it was important and he understood the laws, policies, all of that, but his brain just didn’t comprehend what was going on inside that building all the time.

It took them about two and a half hours before Archie shouted to the captain, recognising the beach he and Jamie had landed on a few evenings ago not far off to their right. The golden sand, the remnants of storms gone past, the creek, you simply couldn’t miss it.

It was the place to stop really, if you arrived on this portion of coast. It really had everything.

Leading them off the boat, Jamie took charge, following the faint trail he and Archie had left until they reached the stone. In the broad daylight, Jamie noticed that despite the thickness of the jungle, it was in fact possible to spot it from the beach if you knew what you were looking for and where it was. Without that, though, you could spend hours in there and not find it - that was how dense the jungle was. Upon sight, both the senior constable and the archaeologist's jaws fell open, while even the politician gave it a raise of the eyebrows - pretty impressive from such a stereotypical shit boring bloke. Contrary to their worries, it didn’t take long for the job to be done, the archaeologist chipping away a piece of the stone plaque and promptly returning to the boat. It was a good thing - the senior constable had expressly forbidden them from taking a dip at the beach or exploring the forest, so at least they weren’t sitting around forever. Soon enough, they were back on the boat, speeding back towards Clontarf at a rate of knots.

Two days later, Jamie heard a knock at the front door of his home in Knagelme, where he and Archie had returned immediately after exiting the boat. Greeting him was one of the senior constable’s rare warm smiles as she extended her hand.

“They’ve had a look at it. The stone carving was done in an intrinsic pattern - something only done by a rare form of stonecutter knife. According to Tim, the archaeologist, its only historical records existed in Lozho in the twelfth and thirteenth century.

“The plaque is real, Jamie. Lozhoans were here well before the Big Forget.”

¹ The party in government is literally called the Toilet Party

² Not including tourists. Fuck tourists

³ How???

CAMPIONATO ESPORTIVA 37 MD1 @ Stadium of Friendship, Elephant Valley, South Newlandia

Sylestone (4-4-1-1): Macleay; Wettenhall (Curmi 87’) - Mornington - Blackall - Molineux; Milligan (Ryland 64’) - Hellyer ( 75’) (Gallagher 79’) - Lawson - Jones (Arnold 64’); Sarcav-Jones (White 79’); Eastwood

Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison: Unknown

Sylestone 2-0 Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison
                           Eastwood 38'
                             Arnold 84'

Starting Lineup vs Dispertag @ Stadium of Friendship, Elephant Valley, South Newlandia

Macleay; Wettenhall - Nutt - Faucett - Statton; Ryland - Rodway - Lawson - Arnold; Sarcav-Jones; Strathfield

ESPOT20 IV MD1 @ Harrier Stadium, New Colk, South Newlandia

Sylestone Batting
Batter                                                R   B  4s  6s   SR
L Tiati (c) (+)    c&b Pal                           49  39   6   0  125.64
B Eastwood         c Banerjee b Nolan                12  12   2   0  100
L Cocrine          c Stealom (+) b Conroy             6   5   1   0  120
N Lovia            st Stealom (+) b Robinson         32  18   2   3  177.78
J Martin           c Stealom (+) b Pal                3   5   0   0   60
S Asaskia          c Conroy b Robinson               35  23   4   1  152.17
A Stealom          run out (Pal)                      0   2   0   0    
S Cross            b Cauhan                          16  10   1   1  160
A Hackett          not out                            6   4   1   0  150
S Scron            not out                            1   2   0   0   50
       EXTRAS      (2 b, 2 lb, 3 wd)                  7
       TOTAL       for 8 wickets                    167   (20 ov; 8.35 RPO)
Did not bat:     K Sonnel

FOW: 1-29 (B Eastwood, 4.4 overs); 2-43 (L Cocrine, 6.1 overs); 3-104 (L Tiati (c) (+), 11.6 overs); 
     4-105 (N Lovia, 12.4 overs); 5-109 (J Martin, 13.4 overs); 6-109 (A Stealom, 13.6 overs); 
     7-153 (S Cross, 18.2 overs); 8-162 (S Asaskia, 19.3 overs)

South Newlandia Bowling
Bowler                Ov   M   R  W   Econ  Ext
B Nolan                4   0  23  1   5.75  (1 wd)
D Cauhan               4   0  41  1  10.25  (2 wd)
P Robinson             4   0  32  2      8  
V Conroy               3   0  34  1  11.33  
B Pal                  4   0  25  2   6.25  
P Banerjee (c)         1   0   8  0      8  

South Newlandia Batting   (Target: 168)
Batter                                                R   B  4s  6s   SR
T Saha             lbw b Scron                        0   1   0   0    
S Tiati-Cross      b Sonnel                          33  26   4   0  126.92
J Hatfield         c Tiati (+) b Scron                0   2   0   0    
P Banerjee (c)     lbw b Scron                        7  15   0   0   46.67
B Pittman          c Tiati (+) b Sonnel              11   9   2   0  122.22
B Pal              c Eastwood b Sonnel               25  17   1   2  147.06
G Stealom (+)      st Tiati (+) b Sonnel              6   8   0   0   75
D Cauhan           c Hackett b Cross                 53  29   4   5  182.76
P Robinson         lbw b Sonnel                       0   2   0   0    
V Conroy           b Cross                            2   2   0   0  100
B Nolan            not out                            1   6   0   0   16.67
       EXTRAS      (2 lb, 2 wd, 1 nb)                 5
       TOTAL       all out                          143   (19.2 ov; 7.4 RPO)
                 

FOW: 1-0 (T Saha, 0.1 overs); 2-0 (J Hatfield, 0.3 overs); 3-16 (P Banerjee (c), 4.1 overs); 
     4-42 (B Pittman, 7.4 overs); 5-55 (S Tiati-Cross, 9.2 overs); 6-68 (G Stealom (+), 11.4 overs); 
     7-100 (B Pal, 14.4 overs); 8-100 (P Robinson, 14.6 overs); 9-107 (V Conroy, 15.5 overs); 
     10-143 (D Cauhan, 19.2 overs)

Sylestone Bowling
Bowler                Ov   M   R  W   Econ  Ext
S Scron                4   1  16  3      4  
S Asaskia              4   0  28  0      7  (1 wd)
A Hackett              4   0  35  0   8.75  (1 wd)
K Sonnel               4   0  22  5    5.5  
S Cross              3.2   0  40  2     12  (1 nb)

Venue: Harrier Stadium, New Colk, South Newlandia
Match number: Match 3
Toss: Sylestone won the toss and elected to bat
Season/Tournament: EspoT20 IV
Matchdays: Matchday One
Player of the Match: Kate Sonnel (SYL)
Series result: 
Debut: Angus Hackett (SYL)
Umpires: Unknown
TV Umpire: Unknown
Reserve Umpire: Unknown
Match Referee: Unknown
Match Result: Sylestone win by 24 runs

MD2 XI vs Natanians and Nosts @ Black Dolphin Arena, New Colk, South Newlandia

1. Luke Tiati (c) (+)
2. Brianna Eastwood
3. Lachlan Cocrine
4. Nicholas Lovia
5. Jack Martin
6. Samuel Asaskia
7. Samuel Cross
8. Ashton Stealom
9. Angus Hackett
10. Samuel Scron
11. Kate Sonnel

by **Fhulghamous Peninsula** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 7:03 am

For over fifty years, the Pridnestrovian Committee for State Security, more commonly known simply as the KGB, had been a dark shadow that loomed over the lives of every single Pridnestrovian citizen during the latter half of the Communist Party’s century-long rule over the country. The KGB was the boogeyman that the parents used to scare their kids into eating their vegetables and sleeping early, and it was also the boogeyman that wives and husbands used on each other to keep each other from keeping as many secrets as possible. The KGB was everywhere, or at least that was the impression that the Committee wanted to give in order to maintain unity and discipline all throughout Pridnestrovia. Anyone could be an undercover KGB agent just waiting to pounce on the slightest hint of “unpatriotic activities,” and anyplace could be filled to the brim with bugs and other such eavesdropping devices recording anything and everything that any given person could be saying to another person or even just to themselves. Of course, the KGB was not that all-pervasive, but they made sure not to do anything to give the Pridnestrovian people any impression other than that they were all-seeing, and that contributed to entire generations of Pridnestrovians being unable or at least unwilling to put too much trust on someone else.

The KGB’s role was vastly reduced when democracy finally returned to Pridnestrovia via the reforms of Galdar Umayev, or at least it was supposed to be reduced, but Umayev’s untimely passing in 1992 put an end to that. When the then-General Stepan Stepanovich Stepanenko stepped in to fill the power vacuum left behind by Umayev’s death, the KGB expected to return to the good graces of the Pridnestrovian president almost immediately, but what they didn’t expect was for Stepanenko to actually get at least Umayev’s slashing of the KGB budget back on the agenda. Then again, it was probably to be expected as Stepanenko, being an Army man, did not really care at all for the KGB, which had reportedly interfered in more than just a fair few operations under Stepanenko’s command. Nevertheless, the KGB was still a looming presence over the lives of the Pridnestrovian people, even if they didn’t have as much influence in the “democratic” era of Pridnestrovia as they once had.

In recent years however, one man had been doing his best to restore the KGB’s reputation, or at least maintain whatever reputation that the Committee still had with foreigners. That man was the current Director of the KGB, Major General Boris Faddeyevich Birsakov. Birsakov, like most other KGB personnel, started his career in the Army, and like most Army men who ended up making their way to the KGB, Birsakov’s on-field actions attracted the attention of KGB recruiters looking to add more operatives to their ranks. Most of Birsakov’s service with the KGB remains classified to this day, but he obviously did well enough to warrant not only being promoted up to the rank of major general in the span of twenty years but being appointed Director of the whole Committee in twenty-five. It was the Birsakov-led KGB that is believed to have conducted numerous operations in support of the Pridnestrovian interventions in both Nordskania and Estorvipa, and there were also rumors that Birsakov personally supervised and monitored a number of assassination missions in the aforementioned countries. But throughout his term as KGB Director, Birsakov’s primary aim was to restore the Committee’s reputation as the long and hidden arm of Pridnestrovian law and policy.

This particular day had started off as a normal day for Birsakov, or at least it had started off as normally as the Director of the Pridnestrovian KGB would. He had a reputation for being more hands-on with the Committee’s operations than his predecessors, but that didn’t mean that he kept an eye on literally every single one of the KGB’s ongoing operations at any given time. Most of the time, he was more interested in simply being the figurehead of the Pridnestrovian boogeyman, as well as making sure that the Committee actually had the personnel and the resources to be able to, as he put it, “influence events outside of Pridnestrovia in Pridnestrovia’s favor.” Unfortunately, Birsakov’s quiet day was about to be ruined by a surprise visitor.

“Mr. Director, you have a visitor,” Birsakov’s secretary told him via the intercom. “It’s Ivan Radchenko—wait! Sir! You can’t just go into the Director’s office like that!”

Before Birsakov could even say anything, the doors to his office opened, and in walked Ivan Iosifovich Radchenko, owner and commander of the Zimmer Private Military Corporation. Radchenko was followed into the office by Birsakov’s secretary as well as two armed guards. Radchenko was himself unarmed, but he was carrying a newspaper, which he dropped on Birsakov’s desk.

“Good afternoon, Ivan Iosifovich,” Birsakov said without looking up from his paperwork. “What brings you here this fine afternoon?”

“Take a look at this, Boris Faddeyevich,” Radchenko said, pointing at the newspaper. “Read it, and then tell me how all of this managed to get past your people for the past few months.”

Birsakov finally looked up from his papers, but instead of doing what Radchenko asked him, he instead addressed his secretary and the guards. “It’s all right, he’s harmless,” he said. “You all may return to your posts.”

“As you say, sir,” the guards nodded, but not before looking at each other and shrugging their shoulders. The two guards then led Birsakov’s secretary out of his office, leaving him with only the fuming Radchenko for company. Once the doors were shut, Birsakov finally grabbed the newspaper that Radchenko had brought with it and asked, “All right, Ivan, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Read the damn newspaper, Boris,” Radchenko replied angrily. “It’s about Thomas Kim. Your people told me that they had tracked him down somewhere in either Audioslavia or Farfadillis, and now it turns out that the bastard has been in Tumbra this whole time! Not just that, but it also turns out that he’s been planning on running for public office over there, and all the while your people have been chasing nothing but ghosts!”

“Don’t get too angry, Ivan,” Birsakov shrugged. “The KGB isn’t perfect. Never has been, and we’ve never claimed to be perfect too.”

“But isn’t tracking down people like Thomas Kim one of the main reasons why the KGB exists?!” Radchenko retorted. “I just spent the past few months trying to track down Kim in the ass ends of places like Tumbra and Yoknapatawphaia just trying to find out if the deal my company had in place with his company was still in place, and now it turns out the rat bastard is planning to run for fucking office!”

“Like I said, Ivan, we’re not perfect,” Birsakov shrugged again.

Radchenko paced around angrily inside the office for a few moments before a thought seemingly struck him, and he walked straight back in front of Birsakov’s desk. “Did you know about this, Boris?” he asked. “Did you know about Kim’s election plans?”

“Why would you ask me that question, Ivan?” Birsakov asked back. “Of course I didn’t know as well. I found out right when you told me about it when you barged into my office!”

“I only ask because I asked to borrow some of your best people to help me find Kim when he dropped off of the face of the earth after the Yoknapatawphaia deal,” Radchenko replied, “and they told me that they think that Kim was in either Audioslavia or Farfadillis, only for the bastard businessman to actually be still in Tumbra this whole time, planning his entrance into Tumbran politics!”

“All right, Ivan! What is it that you want me to do?” Birsakov finally asked with a raised voice. “Do you want me to apologize to you because the people that I loaned to you all those months ago got it wrong and said that this damned businessman was in Farfadillis or whatever when he was actually still in Tumbra this whole time? Is that what you want me to do?”

“Of course not, Boris,” Radchenko shook his head. “I’m not so childish as to demand an apology from you. However, there is something that you can do to make up for your people’s failure in providing me with proper intelligence.”

“I shudder to think about what I could possibly do to make up for all of that,”Birsakov muttered.

“How good are your people at manipulating elections?” Radchenko asked.

  FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA 3 - 0 SCHIMATA  
          SOKOLOV (38')
          IÑIGUEZ (48')
      ANTONAKAKIS (72')

by **Josifovo** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 7:13 am

Спортски Журнал
All the sports, by the people, for the people

TIGHT DEFENSIVE DISPLAY SEES ZLATNI LAVOVI DEFEAT HOSTS ON FIRST MATCHDAY OF THE CAMPIONATO ESPORTIVA

There is always a kind of magic about first matchdays of any competition involving Josifovo. The team has never lost on the first matchday of any senior competition since its debut in Campionato Esportiva 35. 3-3 with Robostania, 1-1 with Kewlz on the Baptism of Fire 81, defeating Eraman 3-5 away and now defeating the hosts in their own home turf. Something about being far from home really elevates the level of Zlatni Lavovi and tonight the team gave it its all to not concede any goals from the South Newlandian team.

It is true that the Ellies were in need of a victory on the premiere of the Campionato Esportiva in front of a jam packed home crowd at the Stadium of Friendship. What is also true is that the team they have fielded lacks depth for the unusually high tempo game that they tried to pursue. While players like Gomez, De Wahr and Sloan all had their turns to shoot at the Josifski goal, Aleksa Borisavljević was there to keep his goal in tact. Whenever Aleksa was not there, Kuzmanović and Gjoni were more than enough to cover the gaps, with the latter saving a lob by De Wahr right on the goal-line.

With the defense raising a wall, the Josifski team found itself more and more reliant on quick counter-attacks whenever it would find space. Uroš Tadić's addition to the team has given it the chance to exploit a truly technically adept player's attributes. Forward passing has become easier, as is maintaining the ball while in front. His first contribution was a swift through-ball to Bajrami that would see the latter's shot blocked from a Gillespie body block. Filipović would take advantadge of the deflection and rocket it to the crossbar.

Frustration would set in for both teams as the game would slow down by the time the first half was about to finish. Harsh marking by Josifski players onto the South Newlandians led to several yellow cards or warnings being awarded to the Josifski players. The Elephants would get close to scoring with a daring Alessio Lombardo shot from long range which would end up saved by the left post. The shot was so powerful that Borisavljević applauded the effort after getting up.

The coaches came into agreement over several necessary substitutions, those included yellow-carded Vujić being substituted by Željko Milojević as well as relying to younger, speedier players in the midfield. This meant Cvetković and Saev were added in the flanks to give a speed boost to the attacks, while Bajrami was replaced by Torov to add strength up front. Such choices proved to be quite helpful as any and all counter-attacks became near instant for the Zlatni Lavovi.

In fact, such a counter attack would be started by a deep cross by Milojević to Saev, seeing the latter carry the ball forward before crossing it in the box for Torov to catch a weak header. A weak header which would immediately be capitalised by Filipović to make it 1-0 for Josifovo, freezing the Stadium of Friendship in the process.

This meant that the team would now have the necessary lungs to pull back and maintain a bus until the end of the game. Which is exactly what happened, as the desperate South Newlandian side would struggle to find space to perform any attacks for an equaliser, only coming close with another De Wahr shot which was saved by Borisavljević in injury time.

With three points against one of the most threatening teams of the competition, Zlatni Lavovo are going to face Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison with a calm mind. An aging team, the Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison are coming off a 0-2 defeat at the hands of favorites Sylestone and will be looking to bounce back to safety. On the other hand, Josifovo will be looking to increase its safe net and get closer to qualifying to the knockout stages of the Campionato Esportiva for the first time.

by **Lozho** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 8:28 am

THE LOZHO SPORTS AND GAMES AND FUN TV CHANNEL FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND LAUGHTER: THE SHOW: THE MUSICAL: LIVE FROM GHEZHAN!

Featuring:
Florence Dillinger, host
Zumba Zander, cricket expert
Gezald Ponzo, football expert
Wim Jonkershonkersbazonkers, ice hockey expert
Henrick Zord, car expert

DILLINGER: Welcome everyone to the show!

ZANDER: Thank you Miss Dillinger. It is an honour to be here to discuss sports, games, and fun on this magnificent channel.

PONZO: Indeed! I bet it's going to be a wacky cascade of entertainment and laughter. I can already feel it descending upon us!

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Yep! In fact, I'm feeling a bit of a tune coming along. OHHHHH-

ZORD: Who lives in a beautifully constructed Lozhoan hut and shack under the sea?

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Sponge Zlorb Square Pants!

ZORD: Who-

DILLINGER: Thank you for that, but please, it's time to discuss sports. We've had a very eventful first day of the sporting festival so far.

ZORD: By eventful, I think you mean disgraceful.

DILLINGER: Now, now-

ZORD: Don't you know that I designed that motor engine for the kart myself? As one of Lozho's biggest manufacturers, I put my heart and soul into that thing. And our driver only goes off and secures a fat last place!

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Well, maybe it's your fault.

ZORD: Nonsense! Did you not watch his laps? Very sloppy. All that neck strength and I bet he's using it to crane out and check out the pretty girls in the audience instesd of focusing on the race. I can tell.

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: What, from experience?

ZORD: Now what does THAT mean?

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Well if you're willing to delve deeper into the various lawsuits filed against you, I'm happy to oblige.

ZORD: You've got a nerve coming onto this show and spreading these false allegations.

DILLINGER: Guys, guys. Okay, enough about karting. Mr Jonkershonkersbazonkers, how was the ice hockey? What's your take on the loss to Xanneria?

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: For a debut, it's pretty alright. Some good plays from Al-Ramzamzam that were cruelly tipped over by their keeper. A good baptism of fire to prepare us for the next four matches. I think we could still have a good chance of making it out of the group.

PONZO: From what I saw, I have to agree. There were good performances and room for improvement. Always the best combinatiom in this business.

ZORD: Sorry, am I hearing you all complimenting their failures? Where's the rage? These pansies aren't going anywhere if you keep throwing around buzzwords like room for improvement. They should always be at their 100%. No point waiting for it to happen.

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Another fantastic take from our toxic king!

ZORD: Petulant child!

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Hey, it's not an insult. You're one of the biggest polluters in the nation. You've earned that crown.

DILLINGER: Mr Jonkerszonkersbazonkers, I ask that you refrain from denigrating our sponsor Mr Zord with these taunts and focus on sports.

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: My bad cuh. Okay, football. That was a positive, right?

PONZO: Right! A good win over a team that was a WC participant not too long ago. That's fantastic and a great step that even though we may seem closed off on the outside, we've still got stuff cooking on the inside. Like a sleepy takeaway restaurant.

DILLINGER: Closed off? How do you mean?

PONZO: You know. Withdrawing from the World Cup cycle that Eshialand and West Barack and East Obama made it to. Our league still being on fire. That sort of normal stuff.

DILLINGER: Speaking of which, why is that? What's up with this whole Lozho football fiasco?

PONZO: Well, it's complicated. Weird that people just collectively lost interest in these projects. I mean, we were on such a high, so it was bound to come crashing down soon. And boy did it crash. I think it's just one of those things that require lots of collective effort and motivation to keep up, and it all just disappeared one day. I do wonder if it will rebuild one day, but that requires the backroom dealings and invisible hands to get their shit together. So, the answer in summary is: who knows?

ZANDER: Wow. That's deep.

DILLINGER: Okay. So, cricket.

ZANDER: Brilliant.

DILLINGER: Brilliant?

ZANDER: Yep.

ZORD: Didn't you all lose?

ZANDER: You must lose before you win.

JONKERSHONKERSBAZONKERS: Bro sounds like he's from the Dark Ages with this cryptic stuff.

ZORD: Concurred! You're not King Archibald, my fellow.

PONZO: Who?

DILLINGER: Okay, that's enough! Thanks everyone for watching, and see you all tomorrow! Have a great day and enjoy the sports festival!

by **The Plough Islands** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 9:04 am

PLOUGH ISLANDS CRICKET ASSOCIATION
XI FOR "ESPO T20" VS.       TJUNIA

        PLAYER           BAT   BOW
#12 ANL Weaver           RHB      
#8  AC  Leggett          RHB   RLB
#1  SLC Weaver (c)       RHB   RLB
#7  KCT Laing            RHB      
#10 ES  Nasrullin        LHB      
#6  HRS Laing            RHB   RLB
#3  TM  Bleasdale (w)    RHB      
#2  DV  Andreyev         RHB   RFM
#14 SH  Wilson           RHB   ROB
#11 NA  Salisbury        LHB   SLA
#4  TSF Gibbs            RHB   RLB

by **Quebecois Acadiana** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 1:45 pm

OOC: Other rosters will be coming at a later date.

Acadiana Football National Team

First things first...

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Godmod scoring events: Yes/No
RP injuries to my players: Yes/No
Godmod injuries to my players: Yes/No
Hand out penalties to my players: Yes/No
Eject my players: Yes/No
Godmod other events: Yes/No

Also...

Style Mod: -3.69

Now, let's have a look at this squad:

Nickname: Warriors
Acronym: ACA
Denonym: Acadianans
Official Supporters Group: Blue, Gold and Green

Manager: Thierry Yarran, 51
Assistant Manager: Grigorij Kubes, 43 (NZS)

After a long, celebrated career in both the AcaLeague and the Q-League, where he was the star midfielder of Hyacinthe of the South and pre-promotion-to-dynasty Mipojoseon, Thierry Yarran has made a decent managerial career with the Hyacinthe of the South before landing his position with the Acadinana national team for the second straight cycle. So far so good, as the previous CE where Acadiana played well, only to be denied entry into knockout round due to the federation's own financial issues that struck them midway into the tournament, so you never know what could happen the second time around.

That aside, they aren't a particularly exceptional pair with him and his assistant Grigorij Kubes, for most part, setting plans well but aren't always known to be the best in mid-game adjustments, but they do try now and then to shake things up for their team. They have also shown their openness to try different formations now and then, even if their usually preferred one would be 5-1-3-1, and they aren't shy in using relatively inexperienced players up front either.

So who knows, maybe they will actually pull something off! Or they might not. Who knows really.

Default Formation: 4-1-3-1
Approach: Slow tempo. Direct, narrow width, short passing lanes. Bit more centralised in terms of play. Strikers may enjoy long ball.
Starting XI: Mirri-Howlett; Yim - Vanunu - Wood-Beveridge - Nantel-Viau; Forget; Byeon - Umbarra - Tremaine; Toypurina

 #  POS. Name        Surname        Age ? Nat. Club  
12    GK Adrienne    MIRRI-HOWLETT   30 F ACA  Garigal City
01    GK Klemens     JUNG            35 M NHV* Nyhavns Boldklub (Gatchingerrak Superliga)
30    GK Aidan       HOLLIS-GORDON   24 M QUE  Habpo Koreana (Championship)
02    LB Do-Gyoon    YIM             29 M ACA  Hyacinthe of the South
XX    LB Mason       DIXON-KOSTAS    21 M ACA  Bungunnia Cavalry  
04 LB/CB Odell       CARTER          33 M QUE  Jolbonopolis United
03    CB Peter       WOOD-BEVERIDGE  29 M QUE  Wansan Noksakejeonsa
19    CB Armand      VANUNU          20 M QUE  BK Klampenborg
05    CB Bryce       WARD-PETERKIN   22 M QUE  Montreal City
20 CB/RB Joon-Yim    HWANG           25 F QUE  BK Klampenborg (Gatchingerrak Superliga)
18    RB Odette      NANTEL-VIAU     30 F ACA  Murranbulla Hearts
28    RB Claude      MIRRI-GARUU     23 M ACA  Hyacinthe of the South
16    DM Emmeline    FORGET          19 F QUE  Perce Town
11 LM/LW Se-Jin      BYEON           29 M QUE  CSKA Quebec
13    LM Yolaine     POULIN          22 F ACA  Bungunnia Cavalry  
06 DM/CM ELLISON     CHA             30 M ACA  RC Pont-Rouge
08    CM Larry       UMBARRA         26 M QUE  PLI Islanders (Championship.)
10    CM Lachlan     DOLAN-BARRETTE  22 M ACA  Riverina Athletic
07 RM/RW Ilhan       TREMAINE        28 M QUE  UI1877
07    FW Claude      HWANG           21 M QUE  Coloratura City (Championship.)
09    FW Theodore    GRISSET-TASSI   28 M ACA  Karagi Jets
17    FW Marina      TOYPURINA       23 F QUE  Northandryun Rovers
21    FW Hyeon-Wook  NOH             24 M TMZ  Keloudjm Sakane

by **South Newlandia** » Thu Feb 08, 2024 3:59 pm

Cutoff two! We'll reach the regular cutoff zone(tm) eventually. For now, I'm late again, and we're still going sport by sport. Good luck!

If you notice any mistakes, please alert me ASAP!

Campionato Esportiva 37

Group A
South Newlandia 1–3 Irithoren
Sylestone 1–0 Dispertag
Josifovo 1–0 Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison

P Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Irithoren                        2   2  0  0    8   3  +5    6
2 Sylestone                        2   2  0  0    3   0  +3    6
3 Josifovo                         2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
4 South Newlandia                  2   0  0  2    1   4  −3    0
5 Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison   2   0  0  2    0   3  −3    0
6 Dispertag                        2   0  0  2    2   6  −4    0

Group B
Hapilopper 0–0 Acadiana
Vangaziland 1–3 TJUN-ia
Damukuni 0–3 Xanneria

P Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                          2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Xanneria                         2   2  0  0    4   0  +4    6
3 Damukuni                         2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
4 Hapilopper                       2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
5 Acadiana                         2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1
6 Vangaziland                      2   0  0  2    1   4  −3    0

Group C
Dod Rava 4–2 The Hannasean Federation
Nerriat 2–4 Gunnison and Telluride
Macbon 4–2 Robostania

P Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Dod Rava                         2   2  0  0    6   3  +3    6
2 Macbon                           2   1  0  1    5   4  +1    3
3 Gunnison and Telluride           2   1  0  1    4   3  +1    3
4 The Hannasean Federation         2   1  0  1    3   4  −1    3
5 Nerriat                          2   0  1  1    3   5  −2    1
  Robostania                       2   0  1  1    3   5  −2    1

Group D
Natanians and Nosts 1–0 Gouvanarch
Lozho 2–0 Slembana
North Pole and South Lapland 1–0 Eshialand

P Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Lozho                            2   2  0  0    5   2  +3    6
2 Natanians and Nosts              2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
3 Gouvanarch                       2   1  0  1    4   2  +2    3
4 North Pole and South Lapland     2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
5 Eshialand                        2   0  0  2    2   4  −2    0
6 Slembana                         2   0  0  2    1   6  −5    0

Group E
Schimata 0–3 Esportivan Darmen
Tumbra 1–0 Kita-Hinode
Fhulghamous Peninsula 3–0 Boring Paradise

P Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Fhulghamous Peninsula            2   2  0  0    6   0  +6    6
2 Esportivan Darmen                2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
3 Tumbra                           2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
4 Kita-Hinode                      2   0  0  2    1   3  −2    0
5 Boring Paradise                  2   0  0  2    0   4  −4    0
6 Schimata                         2   0  0  2    0   6  −6    0

Espo T20 IV

as a reminder, the first two games are played at the Black Dolphin Arena, the other two at Harrier Stadium.

TJUN-ia 192/8 (20 overs)
The Plough Islands 158/5 (20 overs)
TJUN-ia win by 34 runs

Sylestone 152/2 (16.5 overs)
Natanians and Nosts 150/4 (20 overs)
Sylestone win by eight wickets

Tumbra 192/2 (20 overs)
South Newlandia 150/6 (20 overs)
Tumbra win by 42 runs

Lozho 157/4 (20 overs)
Esportivan Darmen 161/8 (17.1 overs)
Esportivan Darmen win by two wickets

P Group               Pld   W  D  L    NRR   Pts 
1 Tumbra                 2   2  0  0   +1.630   4
2 Sylestone              2   2  0  0   +1.336   4
3 TJUN-ia                2   2  0  0   +1.075   4
4 Esportivan Darmen      2   1  0  1   +0.121   2
5 The Plough Islands     2   1  0  1   -0.675   2
6 Natanians and Nosts    2   0  0  2   -0.941   0
7 Lozho                  2   0  0  2   -0.969   0
8 South Newlandia        2   0  0  2   -1.650   0

Esportivan Baseball Trophy III

As a reminder: DH preference goes with the home team (playing the bottom innings).

Group A
Xanneria                      0 2 0 0 0 2 0 0 1  5
Eshialand                     2 0 0 0 1 0 1 2 X  6

South Newlandia               0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1  2
The Hannasean Federation      0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Esportivan Darmen             0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0  3
TJUN-ia                       0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 1  4

P Group A                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 Eshialand                     2   2  0    9   5  +4    1.000
  South Newlandia               2   2  0    5   1  +4    1.000
3 Esportivan Darmen             2   1  1    8   8   0    0.500
4 TJUN-ia                       2   1  1    4   6  −2    0.500
5 Xanneria                      2   0  2    9  11  −2    0.000
6 The Hannasean Federation      2   0  2    1   5  −4    0.000

Group B
Acadiana                      1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3  4
Irithoren                     0 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 X  5

Super-Llamaland               0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2  4
Dod Rava                      0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0  1

Natanians and Nosts           0 0 1 2 2 1 0 0 0  6
Ranoria                       0 2 0 0 0 2 1 0 0  5

P Group B                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 Super-Llamaland               2   2  0   11   4  +7    1.000
2 Natanians and Nosts           2   2  0   13  10  +3    1.000
3 Dod Rava                      2   1  1    7   4  +3    0.500
4 Irithoren                     2   1  1    5  10  −5    0.500
5 Acadiana                      2   0  2    9  12  −3    0.000
6 Ranoria                       2   0  2    8  13  −5    0.000

Esportivan Ice Hockey Trophy II

Group A
Tumbra 2–0 TJUN-ia
Dod Rava 4–3 Eshialand
North Pole and South Lapland 2–5 South Newlandia

P Group A                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 South Newlandia                2   2  0  0   11   7  +4    6
  Tumbra                         2   2  0  0    4   0  +4    6
3 TJUN-ia                        2   1  0  1    7   2  +5    3
4 Dod Rava                       2   1  0  1    9   9   0    3
5 North Pole and South Lapland   2   0  0  2    2   7  −5    0
6 Eshialand                      2   0  0  2    3  11  −8    0

Group B
Natanians and Nosts 3–5 Lozho
Banija 6–0 Xanneria
Vangaziland 0–2 Esportivan Darmen

P Group B                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Banija                         2   2  0  0    7   0  +7    6
2 Esportivan Darmen              2   1  0  1    2   1  +1    3
  Lozho                          2   1  0  1    5   4  +1    3
  Vangaziland                    2   1  0  1    6   5  +1    3
5 Xanneria                       2   1  0  1    1   6  −5    3
6 Natanians and Nosts            2   0  0  2    6  11  −5    0

Esportivan Handball Trophy II

Group
South Newlandia 27–32 Sylestone
HUElavia 28–27 Vangaziland
The Hannasean Federation 27–28 Natanians and Nosts

P Group                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sylestone                     2   2  0  0   64  51 +13    4
2 HUElavia                      2   2  0  0   55  49  +6    4
3 South Newlandia               2   1  0  1   59  56  +3    2
4 Natanians and Nosts           2   1  0  1   50  54  −4    2
5 The Hannasean Federation      2   0  0  2   51  60  −9    0
  Vangaziland                   2   0  0  2   51  60  −9    0

Esportivan Karting Trophy

Note that the original description claimed that ties would be broken if racers tie on points - instead, if racers are tied for the final spot(s), they will all advance.

Week 1: Race

Conditions:      	Dry
Laps:              	26
Nation:         	SNL
Circuit:        	Desert Karting Track
Event:			Race 1 - Sun City
Cars on Grid:		19

POS  # DRV Name                     Team                     	Time      	Pts	
  1 15 SEN Sentient Engine          SYL                      	00:20:41.351	11		
  2 17 TPR Ted Pressley             TMB                      	00:00:03.469	8		
  3  5 EKA Evangelos Kalyftakis     FHU                      	00:00:27.422	6		
  4 18 CSH C J N M M Suh-Hyung      VEZ                      	00:00:49.161	5		
  5 16 LCA Lane Carter              TJU                      	00:00:50.239	4		
  6 14 RDR Robin Dragonovic         SNL                      	Laps Down: 1	3		
  7  9 KDA Karim Dafiyrah           IRI                      	Laps Down: 1	2		
  8  1 JJA Jyri Jatkola             ABL                      	Laps Down: 1	1		
  9 10 ZVZ Zebediah von Ziggler     LOZ                      	Laps Down: 1			
 10 11 INA Ion Numa Apilescu        NTN                      	Laps Down: 2			
 11 13 NKI Nepö Kinder              NHU                      	Laps Down: 3			
 12  4 WBO Willum Bond              DOU                      	Laps Down: 3			
 13  3 JLE Julita Lérida            DOR                      	Laps Down: 3			
 14  6 TCA Tucker Capps             XAN                      	Laps Down: 4			
 15  7 VDA Victoria Davidson        HAN                      	Laps Down: 4			
DNF 12 GMO Gabriel Morales          NER                      	Ret. lap 12			
DNF  2 GTK Gilles Taggart-Kennard   ACA                      	Ret. lap 2			
DNF 19 JFR Janet Franssen           VNG                      	Ret. lap 26			
DNF  8 RED Rudy Edwards             HAP                      	Ret. lap 1

Pos # DRV Name                      Team                     Pts
 1 15 SEN Sentient Engine           SYL                      11*
 2 17 TPR Ted Pressley              TMB                      8
 3  5 EKA Evangelos Kalyftakis      FHU                      6
 4 18 CSH C J N M M Suh-Hyung       VEZ                      5
 5 16 LCA Lane Carter               TJU                      4
 6 14 RDR Robin Dragonovic          SNL                      3
 7  9 KDA Karim Dafiyrah            IRI                      2
 8  1 JJA Jyri Jatkola              ABL                      1
 9  2 GTK Gilles Taggart-Kennard    ACA                      0
 9  3 JLE Julita Lérida             DOR                      0
 9  4 WBO Willum Bond               DOU                      0
 9  6 TCA Tucker Capps              XAN                      0
 9  7 VDA Victoria Davidson         HAN                      0
 9  8 RED Rudy Edwards              HAP                      0
 9 10 ZVZ Zebediah von Ziggler      LOZ                      0
 9 11 INA Ion Numa Apilescu         NTN                      0
 9 12 GMO Gabriel Morales           NER                      0
 9 13 NKI Nepö Kinder               NHU                      0
 9 19 JFR Janet Franssen            VNG                      0

by **Natanians and Nosts** » Fri Feb 09, 2024 10:31 am

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Fri Feb 09, 2024 4:14 pm

By Peter Davis

Jaguars
The Football got off on the right track at the EsportivArena in Newport for TJUN-ia and the fans were hoping for more of the same against Vangaziland on MD2...which is exactly what we did, to the relief of everyone in Blue and Orange. Vangaziland did take the lead in this one but we managed to bounce back in style things to goals from Kristina Bay, Jackson Smith-Scott and Stephan Fiedtkou. A 3-1 win to go to 2-0 does indeed sound nice, but we still have a long way to go. Up next? Damukuni.

Bowlin' Jags
The Bowlin' Jags were back at the Black Dolphin Arena in New Colk to play the Guest Nation of this tournament - The Plough Islands. We won the toss once again and elected to bat first, expecting to try and put up as large of a total as possible to make it difficult for the guests to chase down...but even I didn't expect what came next. You see in an innings where Naomi Salisbury took 4 wickets and we ended up 8 players down, there was one constant in our quest...and his name was Roger Ntini. The T20 Captain of this side managed 103* in a remarkable spell fitting of the captain of this side. His efforts combined with everyone else pushed us to up to a spectacular 192/8...and from then on, this game was ours. The guests tried their best to come back into this one, with Audrey Leggett managing 66, but 158/5 was not good enough in this one specific game. 2-0 for these Jags as well. Up next? Esportivan Darmen.

Battin' Jags
Speaking of Esportivan Darmen, they were the 2nd opponents of the Battin' Jags at Elephant Stadium as Maddison "Missy" Jembembe faced off against Angel Davis in Elephant Valley. This one was looking like a defeat for a long time as 3 Home Runs took them to 3-0 before the bottom of the 9th...but then things changed quickly and Jembembe herself saved the day with a 3-run bomb to send this game to extras. That was the fire this team needed and in the 10th, it would be Svetlana Mykvinich who ended up as the hero as she walked off this contest 4-3. Back to 1-1 with a much-needed triumph. Up next? Xanneria.

Ice Jagaurs
Meanwhile, at the Valley Rink, it was TJUN-ia vs Tumbra in the Ice Hockey...and The Golden Deer, the debutants, would end up springing a surprise. We felt we had enough in the tank to take these guys down...but it simply wasn't to be. Richard Upton scored twice to secure a historic 2-0 win for the Golden Deer while we have to try and recover instantly. Up next? Dod Rava.

Lane Carter
Race Day at The Desert Karting Track in Sun City arrived and with 26 laps ahead of him, Lane Carter was looking to produce something from P3 on the grid. This race would see 4 DNFs, with Rudy Edwards going out on Lap 1, but it would end up being a good day for Sylestone as the Sentient Engine took the first win and the first ticket to the Medal Race - where only the best 7 (3 race winners and at least 4 on points) will fight it out for medals. Ted Pressley and Evangelos Kalyftakis rounded out the podium with Charlene J N M M Suh-Hyung, Carter, Robin Dragonovic, Karim Dafiyrah and Jyri Jatkola rounding out the Top 8 and the points. It wasn't the best race for the Galarian and they nearly got lapped, but 4 points were 4 points. Elephant Valley will host Round 2.

by **Sylestone** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 5:53 am

There was an alien buzz around the chamber room. For the first time in decades, since the first Sentient Object was ever elected as President back in 1991, the few hundred seats that sat above parliament were packed to the brim. With the government calling all members of parliament back to Avondale for the congregation, each of the 144 seats were filled as the Speaker peered around the room through her glasses, one eye on her watch as the time approached 2pm.

When it struck, the buzz immediately disappeared as the Speaker lifted her voice.

“Today, our Honourable President Mrs. Alana Cattanach has gathered all of you here to discuss some very important news. As some of you will be aware, a man-made relic that dates back to beyond the days of the Big Forget has been discovered off the Paradise Coast.”
She looked up to the opposition party and began to speak again. “I’ve been told that the Honourable Mr. George Tennant of the Sovereign Party, member of parliament for Clontarf, would be able to provide us with the most information surrounding this mysterious case.

And so he began to speak, his crackling, once-powerful voice booming through the dead silence of the room. He spoke of his “expedition” to the remote beach, of the discovery of this artefact, and of what it said. Regularly, a murmur of shock would radiate in the background of his voice as Mr. Tennant continued, unperturbed. “The information I have is that the slab of stone we took from the site has been put through several tests and there is undoubtedly conclusive evidence that it dates from around the year 1261, as it was engraved on the stone.”

At that, a few voices began speaking all at once. Eventually, the Minister of Culture spoke up, leaving several other people in the room rather disgruntled that they didn’t get to have their say. “Your Honourable, I’m well aware that this is a once in a lifetime case, but we do have laws that protect the sanctity of historical-”

The Opposition Leader cut in, clearly dissatisfied. “Sir, with all due respect, we have discovered something that could potentially threaten the very fibre of our nation. The rules are important, but we do not have to be so stringent that we choose to neglect something with such consequence.”

In political terms, that is the equivalent of saying “shut the fuck up”¹.

A murmur of agreeance surrounded the room as the Minister of Culture slunk back in his seat, his face masking any true emotions. But with the majority of his party not on his side, there was nothing he could do.

The President saved him any further embarrassment. “Back on track now, I think it’s important that we all understand that despite this discovery, we understand that it could just be a one-off occurrence. Perhaps Lozho didn’t hold claim to this land before the Big Forget, perhaps it did. There are so many different paths those few centuries could have gone down and currently, it’s too early to piece together anything that’s happened. I’m sure historians all around the country are already onto it, but we can’t work with anything on that without cooperation from Lozho, or even the wider Esportivan Union.”

She turned to her Foreign Affairs Minister. “I’ve heard that the Lozhoan government will congregate later this evening to discuss this matter. Once that’s done, I believe it’s best for us to attempt to set up an adjourning between some of us stationed here and the CEO of Lozho’s Supreme Lobbyists and Diplomatic Relations Agency, their Foreign Affairs minister, at the soonest possible time.

“As much as we have plenty of respect for the Lozhoan government and their people, the future - and past - of our country may well lie in their hands. We must tread carefully, brethren.

“Meeting adjourned.”

¹ They really should say that.

CAMPIONATO ESPORTIVA 37 MD2 @ Stadium of Friendship, Elephant Valley, South Newlandia

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 5-4-1): Macleay; Wettenhall - Nutt - Faucett - Statton ( 40’) (Molineux 69’); Ryland ( 86’) (Milligan 90’) - Rodway (Woodfull 83’) - Lawson - Arnold (Jones 69’); Sarcav-Jones (Blackall 69’ ( 90+3’)); Strathfield

Dispertag: Unknown

Sylestone 1-0 Dispertag
                                      Strathfield 31'

MD3 Starting XI vs Irithoren @ Stadium of Friendship, Elephant Valley, South Newlandia

Macleay; Wettenhall - Mornington - Blackall - Statton; Ryland - Rodway - Lawson - Jones; Sarcav-Jones; Eastwood

ESPOT20 IV MD2 @ Black Dolphin Arena, New Colk, South Newlandia

Natanians and Nosts Batting
Batter                                                R   B  4s  6s   SR
Player 1           c Tiati (+) b Scron                3   8   0   0   37.5
Player 2           c&b Hackett                       49  48   1   2  102.08
Player 3 (c)       b Martin                          20  13   2   1  153.85
Player 4           not out                           67  46   4   4  145.65
Player 5           b Cross                            3   5   0   0   60
Player 6           not out                            0   0   0   0        
       EXTRAS      (2 lb, 6 wd)                       8
       TOTAL       for 4 wickets                    150   (20 ov; 7.5 RPO)
Did not bat:     Player 7 (+), Player 8, Player 9, Player 10, Player 11

FOW: 1-8 (Player 1, 2.2 overs); 2-36 (Player 3, 5.6 overs); 3-119 (Player 2, 16.6 overs); 
     4-150 (Player 5, 19.6 overs)

Sylestone Bowling
Bowler                Ov   M   R  W   Econ  Ext
S Scron                4   0  29  1   7.25  (1 wd)
S Asaskia              4   0  24  0      6  
A Hackett              4   0  31  1   7.75  (1 wd)
J Martin               1   0  12  1     12  
K Sonnel               4   0  25  0   6.25  (2 wd)
S Cross                3   0  27  1      9  (2 wd)

Sylestone Batting   (Target: 151)
Batter                                                R   B  4s  6s   SR
L Tiati (c) (+)    lbw b Player 8                    72  44   6   4  163.64
B Eastwood         c Player 7 (+) b Player 10        38  33   3   0  115.15
L Cocrine          not out                           20  15   0   2  133.33
J Martin           not out                           14   9   1   1  155.56
       EXTRAS      (3 lb, 5 wd)                       8
       TOTAL       for 2 wickets                    152   (16.5 ov; 9.03 RPO)
Did not bat:     N Lovia, S Asaskia, A Stealom, S Cross, A Hackett, S Scron, K Sonnel

FOW: 1-116 (B Eastwood, 12.2 overs); 3-124 (L Tiati (c) (+), 13.2 overs)

Natanians and Nosts Bowling
Bowler                Ov   M   R  W   Econ  Ext
Player 9               3   0  19  0   6.33  (1 wd)
Player 11              3   0  39  0     13  (1 wd)
Player 8               4   0  32  1      8  (1 wd)
Player 5               3   0  20  0   6.67  
Player 10            3.5   0  37  1   9.65  (2 wd)

Venue: Black Dolphin Arena, New Colk, South Newlandia
Match number: Match 6
Toss: Natanians and Nosts won the toss and elected to bat
Season/Tournament: EspoT20 IV
Matchdays: Matchday Two
Player of the Match: Luke Tiati (SYL)
Series result: 
Debut: None
Umpires: Unknown
TV Umpire: Unknown
Reserve Umpire: Unknown
Match Referee: Unknown
Match Result: Sylestone win by eight wickets with 19 balls remaining

MD3 XI vs The Plough Islands @ Harrier Stadium, New Colk, South Newlandia

1. Luke Tiati (c) (+)
2. Brianna Eastwood
3. Lachlan Cocrine
4. Nicholas Lovia
5. Jack Martin
6. Samuel Cross
7. Samuel Asaskia
8. Ashton Stealom
9. Angus Hackett
10. Samuel Scron
11. Kate Sonnel

by **Doubeia** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 6:10 am

Annals of Doubeia
Chapter I

cc. 500 ME, ???, Home

Waves thrashed the boat mercilessly.

Crash.

Ivan held on to his bag for dear life. For the past few days, all he knew was to eat, sleep, and protect his bag from getting soaked by the seawater that was brutally rocking the boat around. Ivan didn't know where his boat was even going. All he got from the captain was that the boat would be headed home.

Ivan took a look at the contents of his bag. Someone looking into it would just see a pile of canned food, worn clothing and fishing equipment, but the real treasure was deeper within. He didn't want anyone to see what he was hiding though, lest he gets into serious trouble.

Gurug gurug.

A rumble ricocheted around the small sheltered space in the boat. The passengers all looked at each other with a knowing glance: they were all hungry. Days and days of eating nothing but canned vegetables and fish made everyone crave for the good food back home. Everyone missed home.

Ironically, however, home was where they felt both the most and least comfortable. All the passengers were living normal, stable lives. Or, at least they had lived them. There was a sense of comfort and peace in the normalcy of attending school or going for their 9-to-5's. For most people, the only place they would know of was home. They never bothered to explore or even think about what lay beyond their boundaries. Why should they anyway? Their own lives were already so peaceful, so there was no need to even entertain the idea of a land yonder. To them, home was their world.

However, there were some people who weren't content with this dullness, this nothingness of their lives. Boring, how utterly boring. To these people, life was but a routine. There was no excitement, no fear, no surprises, no life in this world of theirs. One day, one of them looked towards the sea. He looked at the horizon.

"What lays beyond that line?" he would ask. People would say nothing, or, "Nothing." in their ignorance. Commonfolk brushed off his question as being too curious, but some would come to share the same curiosity.

One day, the man and his group of like-minded individuals prepared a boat and some materials. With them were food and water that could last several weeks, some extra clothes, and a desire to explore the vastness behind the horizon. They did so in the middle of the night in a secluded part of the coast; no one was there to see them off or to catch them moving off. So off they went into this sojourn of theirs. As they headed into uncharted territory, they wondered if their journey that was not once travelled would reap the fruits they wanted to produce...

A week later, they came back. They came back with more things than they left with. As the passengers disembarked the boat, one could see some carrying strange foodstuffs that definitely did not look like seafood. Some were hoarding flora and other miscellaneous items that did not belong in the sea or on a boat. Most importantly, however, were the many books they brought back. The books covered topics ranging from delicacies from a strange cuisine, arts and culture from a place they never heard of, and scientific knowledge that was practically foreign to them. For the passengers, all these books had as much value as the purest of gold and silver. The books at home never contained knowledge like that. For their whole lives, all they've known was their own culture, their own country. However, beyond the horizon lay a mysterious foreign land, and for the first time in ever, the homelanders had set foot there.

For most, this was a world-changing discovery. For decades upon decades, they had believed the lie that all there was to the world was them. To find out that not only was this world bigger than home, but vastly different too... In light of the famed voyage to a faraway land, word began spreading. People started to learn more about the outside word. People started to enlighten themselves with the knowledge of a thousand foreign scholars. But most importantly, people started to doubt not just themselves, but their whole existence. They were spoonfed the belief that home was their world. What happens when that belief gets shattered though? Do you blame the food that you (un)willingly ate, or the people who shoved the food down your throat?

People started to question their government. They started to believe that they were being lied to. Well, of course they were! People started to wonder why the government would hide such a discovery away from them. After all, there was nothing wrong with there being a world outside of home, was there?

The government didn't like this. They knew that home wasn't an ideal place to be. So many people in so little space. Crime running rampant in major cities and small towns alike. The state of infrastructure was at a dismal low. The economy was run by monopolies and corrupt tyrants. But you look at other countries. They were utopias to home's dystopia. They were beacons of light where home permeated darkness. Home was not a perfect place.

The government acknowledged this fact. They knew that they had a long road ahead of them, and they had a whole horde of people to lead along this road. These people had nothing but a motivation to reach the end of the road. Along that road, however, were many inns and hostels, some more luxurious, and some larger. What if the people treading upon this arduous journey decided to give up on their dreams and check in at one of those hotels instead? By the end of the road, then, there would be no one.

The government didn't want that. Other countries were better than home, so people would definitely be enticed to go there. The problem was, if people kept on leaving home, how would home reach the lofty heights that other countries around it were at? It took a country's own people to build it, but if all those people left the country was as good as dead. Ir at least, that was what the government thought.

Thus, they locked everyone in. They brainwashed the people to think that there was no land beyond. The education system, the national newspaper, the radio stations... all of these were manipulated by the government to give the illusion that their country was the only one to exist. If the people didn't know about the existence of other nations, they would have no rationale to move out, so they would stay at home, contributing to the economy and development of the country, all while pushing their home all the way up to the mountains where the greatest nations stayed. This was foolproof logic, the leaders thought. Through heavy scrutinisation and surveillance, no one would be able to leave. They would all contribute to home's rise to the top, and then they would be able to show off their wealth and might!

... Of course, the plan wasn't perfect, and before long people had found out about the existence of countries across the sea. They brought back culture, knowledge that went against what the leaders back at home taught. This led people to finally think, to finally question their lives, their status quos. The government didn't want this. Introduce more foreign knowledge and these people would desert what they called home.

Thus began a harsh crackdown. One by one, those who embarked on that famed journey started to mysteriously disappear one by one. People didn't know exactly where they went but they were told they died of various factors. People with a cognitive brain (which didn't number many) would know better though. The sea started to be swarmed by patrol jets and boats. Try to cross and you'd be capsized by one of them. Still, people tried. Most others simply went on with their lives, but a select few wanted to know more. They knew of this elusive knowledge and they thirsted for it. They would stop at no bounds to obtain this golden knowledge.

Thus, here our character Ivan was, sitting on a boat ride back home. He was one of these hopefuls that strove to retrieve as much knowledge from across the horizon. He considered himself to be "enlightened": people who didn't blindly believe in the stories of the government but instead sought the elixirs of knowledges from a place yonder. However, by calling himself "enlightened", a target was put on his backs. Amongst the "enlightened" were weeds, spies from the government, that secretly fed the government information. This led to the random disappearances of many of these "enlightened"; these weeds would later be uprooted, having been curiously murdered. The government would then plant more weeds, and the cycle continued.

Ivan was briefly lost in his reveries, but was abruptly brought back to consciousness when he heard some shouting from the boat's exterior. The shouting gave way to even more frantic, violent rocking of the boat. Then, the boat started to speed up. Quickly.

Ivan and the other passengers looked around in worry. It was the middle of the night and the cabin was dimly lit. None of them could see past the person next to them. As the boat sped across the choppy waters, the boat shook to a nauseating degree. Ivan felt like throwing up; the person two seats to his left had already thrown up on the floor. Now, having to handle rough back-and-forths and flying vomit, this ride back home was going to end on an uncomfortable note.

Just then, a loud bang came from below. Then the boat started to tilt on itself. Then the boat started to sink. As gushes of water rushed into the cabin, everyone inside made a beeline for the only entrance to the outside of the boat. Unfortunately, that same entrance was where the water started to pour into the cabin, so everyone was fighting against nature's most powerful weapon: water.

People tried to get out. Hands were hanging against the rims of the entrance while feet were flailing all around. Ivan himself tried to get himself out of the rapidly flooding cabin, but when he tried to push himself out of the entrance, the sheer strength of the water breaking in pushed him back into the cabin.

The captain was nowhere to be found; if he was still on the boat wouldn't he have made a conscious effort to save the passengers? As time went on and bodies grew weary, most passengers had resigned to their untimely fate. Ivan, meanwhile, tried a last ditch effort to rush out of the cabin. He threw his bag out. Somehow it had managed to escape the confined parameters of the cabin. Ivan gave it one last push. He tried to push his head out of the water. Instead, he was promptly shoved by the water into his watery grave.

A few weeks later

The beach was by no means a popular spot, but that day it was sparsely populated. Meanwhile, a boy was walking in solitude on the soft sand. He had to bypass some barriers and officers to get to the beach, but boy was it worth it. I mean, a relaxing experience, especially with no one around?

Just then, the boy stepped on something that was not sand. He looked down. A bag. Weird, what was a bag doing here? He inquisitively opened it, some dry clothing, canned food, water bottles. And then he took something out. A book — no, books. Books of many different titles, written by many different authors the boy wasn't familiar with. He looked at the title of one of these books.

"The Joys of Exploring Other Nations".

Then, the boy knew.

He hastily put everything back in the bag and discreetly made his way back home.

by **Josifovo** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 9:29 am

Спортски Журнал
All the sports, by the people, for the people

ZLATNI LAVOVI PICK 3 POINTS AND THE PUSH TO THE KNOCKOUTS IS ON

The Josifski team has reached a reality where looking towards a spot in the top three is becoming more and more possible. The game against Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison proved to be a display of positional integrity and superior strength on the pitch as the Zlatni Lavovi managed to scrape yet another 1-0 victory and keep their qualification chances not just alive but in full swing towards fruition. Despite the lack of flashy goalscoring for the team, Josifovo's clinical finishing has given the nation hope and has united an otherwise disunited populace, as everyone is aiming towards the same goal.

The game itself was uneventful in comparison to the match against South Newlandia, which is on a loss streak following an 1-3 defeat to surprising side Irithoren. Both the Lions and the Cheetahs entered the pitch wanting to dominate the game in possession. Neither side really dared to push forward in the early stages of the game, but a smart play by Simonovski ended up with a cross inside the box that would be capitalised by Trajkovski, although it would be saved by Ubiratã Ubirajara Ubiraci. The rest of the half was stuck in the middle of the field, with both teams being unable to break through.

The second half was filled with somewhat more action on the field as the Cheetahs finally managed to break through the Josifski defence, as Sinusić would kick it right to Budzakoski's hands. The team would go onto a counter-attack, as Saev would exchange passes with Mehić before the former would pass it through to Bajrami who would fire off a rocket that would go wide. From then on, the Josifski team would loosen up and try to find gaps in the Cheetahs' defence. Tadić would try his luck from long range as well, with his shot being stopped by the left post. However, he would also be the playmaker in the game's only goal as he would dribble past João Miguel Irima before passing it to Trajkovski to score his first one for the competition. Following his goal, the Josifski team would try to maintain its lead remaining positionally tight and using its strength to stop any attacks from the desperate Cheetahs successfully.

Following the Zlatni Lavovi's victory, the team would sit in joint first with Sylestone and Irithoren as the top 3 teams of the group are starting to shape up. However, with everything on the line, the game against unranked minnows Dispertag is important towards establishing a difference from the bottom 3 and securing a spot in the knockouts. Jasmin Bajramović, one of the pivotal players in this Josifski team showed his joy by the team's performance by stating "We are at a good level right now and I believe we can aim for much better in the future. Believe in us and we will serve the nation."

by **Tumbra** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 10:31 am

Tumbra 1-0 Kita Hinode

TMB (4-3-3): 12 - R Russell, 18 - H Kennedy, 24 - B Proudfoot, 5 - S Kerr, 3 - T Mercurio; 6 - T Harrison (15 - L McCormick, 88'), 8 - I Robertson, 23 - V Leighton (10 - N Coleman, 75'); 17 - E Robertson (7 - V Wells, 81'); 9 - L Crossley (21 - A Pearson, 81'); 22 - E Maddison (26 - H Canavan, 75')

TMB scorers: Natalie Coleman (81')

Player of the Match: Ian Robertson [TMB]

Tumbra bests two-time world champions in thorny encounter

ELEPHANT VALLEY — Tumbra's Campionato Esportiva campaign continued with a 1-0 victory over two-time World Cup champions Kita-Hinode; starring a late goal from attacking midfielder Natalie Coleman. The game was panned as "largely placid" for most of the match; most commentators stated that Tumbra's formation, which eschewed a free attacking midfielder for more solidity, was "unnecessarily cautious" against a team which hadn't won a World Cup for over forty years and whose last three Campionato Esportiva entries had resulted in group stage exits. In response to the criticism, Tumbran national team manager Michael Campbell hit back against the critics; saying that "while matches such as these may look easy, I'm not going to let up even in a game that's as low-stakes as this." The breakthrough moment of the game came in the eighty-first minute, when Natalie Coleman, who had been substituted on six minutes earlier, received the ball from deep and went on an impressive run from the halfway line to score and break the deadlock.

Tumbra's next game, against Esportivan Darmen, will likely be a tougher game than the one against Kita-Hinode, though Tumbra's should Tumbra's offensive worries yet persist, then they stand the chance to fall behind the Fhulgamous Peninsula, who are also on two wins in the group stage. Elsewhere, hosts South Newlandia lost in a surprising 3-1 defeat to minnows Irithoren, while World Cup 95 qualifiers Eshialand continue to have a slow start to the World Cup, also recording a second loss in the tournament to regional newcomers North Pole and South Lapland.

by **Fhulghamous Peninsula** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 10:47 am

The Kalyftakis brothers weren’t the only pair of siblings from the Fhulghamous Peninsula to have made their way to South Newlandia for the Campionato Esportiva. The brothers Babalioutas, Silas and Iraklis, were the other pair of siblings in the CE, and unlike Polynikis and Evangelos, both Silas and Iraklis were football players. That said, there was still something that set apart Silas and Iraklis: Silas played for the Fhulghamous Peninsula, while Iraklis played for Abanhfleft in international football. In a way, it made sense. The Fhulghamous Peninsula was a territory of Abanhfleft in the region of Esportiva, and both Babalioutas siblings were born in the Fhulghamous before the family moved to Rosenpfelblatz in the mainland. Silas Babalioutas, the older of the two, attracted the attention of Rosenpfelblatz City, the bigger football club in town, and he received a scholarship offer from the club at 13 years old. Silas then featured heavily for the Citizens’ under-18 side which led to him getting loan moves to lower league clubs. Then, while playing for Athletic Dorfdifving, Silas received a call-up from Wellington Acuña, then the manager of the Fhulghamousian national team, who was looking to inject new blood into the aging side that he had inherited from Antonis Papadimitriou. At the time, it hadn’t really crossed Silas’s mind that he could have represented all of Abanhfleft in international football, but he had always felt a deeper affinity for the Esportivan colony from which he came, which was why accepting the call-up offer from Acuña was a no-brainer for Silas. Unfortunately, a poor showing in the Campionato coincided with Silas suffering a foot injury in his very first game back for Dorfdifving, and after one season languishing in Rosen City’s reserves, Silas was eventually sold to Bananas FC in Suwkpel in southern Abanhfleft.

Iraklis’s story was somewhat different from his older brother. Rosenpfelblatz City also took an interest in Iraklis as a footballer, but as Iraklis never really seemed to be able to develop a lot of muscle, he was released by the Citizens much earlier in his footballing career and ended up going back to the Fhulghamous to play for the club in his birthplace, Nou Philippopolis. But despite lacking in muscle mass, Iraklis most definitely made up for it with actual footballing skills, or at least the rough outlines of actual football skills, namely being a midfield distributor and orchestrator. Despite being considered too light to actually make it as a footballer, Iraklis’s skills still attracted the attention of the Samahang Futbol ng Abanhfleft, and he received a call-up to the country’s under-18 team, which had qualified for the 15th Under-18 World Cup in Tumbra. Sadly for Iraklis, his time in the Esportivan nation wouldn’t last long because of Abanhfleft’s early elimination in the group stage, and to top it all off, he tore his meniscus while training with the team for their last group stage match against The 14 Stars. That didn’t stop Marinos Thimpodopoulos, possibly the biggest football club in the Fhulghamous Peninsula, from swooping in for Iraklis once he had completed his rehabilitation, and even the SFA thought that Iraklis was good enough to become a regular fixture in their youth teams despite his physical disadvantages against other players in his age group.

Neither Babalioutas brother had really experienced much in the way of success, especially when it came to football, mostly because both Abanhfleft and the Fhulghamous Peninsula had a reputation for bottling things when the teams actually had to do something instead of just talking about it. But that didn’t stop both of them from being optimistic that the next tournament was going to be the one that Abanhfleft or the Fhulghamous was finally going to win (depending on the actual tournament, of course). Iraklis was the latest to suffer the most recent footballing setback, having been part of the Abanhfleft that bowed out of the 20th Independent Associations Championship in the group stage after winning only one match against an aging Adab side. That entire campaign had started with the aforementioned victory over what was practically Adab’s over-35 team, which probably explained why Abanhfleft failed to win any of the games that came after it, but even then, Iraklis expected his fellow Revolutionaries to build on that win and actually make a name for themselves, but obviously that didn’t happen. Iraklis didn’t really understand why this was so, why the Revolutionaries seemingly couldn’t do anything to get rid of their reputation of never turning up for tournaments, or turning up only for the group stage but no further (which they couldn’t even do this time around). Was it the tactics? Was it the coach? Was it the players themselves? Iraklis simply had no clue at all.

But even with all of that in mind, Iraklis was still more optimistic than his older brother about the Fhulghamous’s chances of finally being able to win the Campionato Esportiva. The Peninsula had come close a couple of times (two, to be more specific), and both times the Colonists faltered in the semifinals and could only bring home the bronze medal. Both times that that happened though were way back when the Babalioutas brothers were still children, and both times were quite influential in the way that they came to look at things. Both Silas and Iraklis had talked about why they thought they the Fhulghamous didn’t have a chance and actually had a decent chance respectively, but like every other time that they talked about their respective national teams’ chances of winning a tournament, they both ended up agreeing to disagree.

“Two consecutive 3-0 wins, Silas!” Iraklis said. “How on earth can you look at two consecutive wins where your team scored three goals and you shut out the other teams and still think that the Fhulghamous isn’t going to make it to the quarterfinals at the very least?”

“Are you serious right now, Ira?” Silas asked back disbelievingly. “Have you even taken a look at the Peninsula’s schedule? So far, we’ve played the only unranked team in the group and then the 25th best team in all of Esportiva. We still have to play two former Esportivan champions, man! Yeah, sure, we won 3-0 twice, but who’s to say that we won’t lose the next three games 3-0 and wreck all of this ‘good work’ that you say we’ve done?!”

“Why though, bro? Why do you think the Peninsula is going to lose the next three games or whatever?” Iraklis asked. “Don’t you know that negative thinking like has a probable effect in actually making sure that the bad thing you think could happen is actually going to happen?”

“Why do I think it’s going to happen? I’ll tell you why I think it’s going to happen, little bro,” Silas replied. “Last time around, we drew two games and won only one, and that was against Bongo Johnson. Before that, the Peninsula won two games, drew two, and lost one, but that wasn’t enough to even get us into the playoffs. Granted, those two wins that we did get in CE 35 was at the tail end of the group stage, when it was clear that we were just doing it for pride and not because any of us actually believed that we had a chance in the playoffs. In any case, I’ll take you back to the Round of 16 of CE 36. Fhulghamous versus Natanians and Nosts. What happened there? Oh yeah, that’s right. We lost. The Round of 16 curse strikes Abanhfleft’s little colony again. Seriously, Ira. What’s the use of making it out of the group stage if this team is just going to get eliminated in the round of 16 or the quarterfinals or whatever the first round of the playoffs is?”

“I mean, surely that can’t last forever, can it?” Iraklis suggested. “Trust me, Silas. I’ve been in literally the same situation just as many times as you have. Does that make it any easier for me? Of course not! Heck, if anything, the next loss is even worse than the last one because, like you said, it’s just more proof that maybe our team doesn’t have it in them to get past that hump. But, when you finally get that win that takes you past the round of 16 or the quarterfinals or whatever, man, it’s probably the greatest feeling in the world. Why? Think about it. If your team is finally good enough to get past that ‘curse’ or whatever that stopped them from getting past the round of 16, then what’s stopping them from beating the other team in the quarterfinals? The semifinals? Heck, why can’t they win the final while they’re at it? I mean, the women are already doing it! Did you see the latest Jenna Raven Cup? Abanhfleft won it for the second time in their history. They beat Sarzonia, one of the favorites, to win the bloody thing as well! And they had to do it in extra time, sure, but at the end of the day, the women did it. So why can’t the men’s team do it as well? And why can’t the Fhulghamous do that too?”

“Oh, you just wait until tomorrow, little bro,” Silas said. “Just wait until the Peninsula loses or even just draws the next game, and then maybe you’ll finally understand why the Fhulghamous can’t and maybe never will be able to do what Abanhfleft did in the Women’s World Cup,” he added before walking off.

“See? There you go being negative again,” Iraklis shouted to his older brother’s back. “It’s about what you can and will do, not what you can’t and won’t do!” No wonder everyone else thinks we’re a bunch of losers, Iraklis thought to himself. If we all think we’re losers then why would other people think different?

Meanwhile, in the karting side of things, Evangelos Kalyftakis took third place in his first karting race in years. Things had gotten off to a rocky start on the first day of the karting event in the Campionato Esportiva Sporting Festival, with Gelo not feeling like he had not done quite a good job during qualifying even though he was in the top 5 or thereabouts, but then again, this was his first time driving a kart in anger in some time so it was almost to be expected that he would be a bit rusty. But as soon as the race itself started, it was as if Gelo had never stopped karting at all. He moved deftly in between his fellow competitors and was pretty much in the mix for all of the race. Sure, third place might seem a bit of a disappointment for him, but considering that Gelo’s competition for the top step on the podium consisted of an honest-to-goodness WGPC driver in Ted Pressley and a literal Sentient Engine (yes, Gelo had been informed that that was indeed its name), third place suddenly didn’t seem so bad at all. And now Gelo had a baseline against which he could compare his future performances. If he could go on a streak of finishing in the podium places then he knew that he was in a good place once the new Tumbran Super Formula season got going. If not, then clearly he had more work to do with regards to improving himself.

  FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA 3 - 0 BORING PARADISE  
        KONTOULIS (51')
     AGIASMENAKIS (79')
          MAGDY (90+5')

by **The Plough Islands** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 1:49 pm

PLOUGH ISLANDS CRICKET ASSOCIATION
XI FOR "ESPO T20" VS.    SYLESTONE

        PLAYER           BAT   BOW
#12 ANL Weaver           RHB      
#8  AC  Leggett          RHB   RLB
#1  SLC Weaver (c)       RHB   RLB
#7  KCT Laing            RHB      
#9  RA  Milroy           RHB      
#5  P   Hodgeson         LHB   SLW
#3  TM  Bleasdale (w)    RHB      
#2  DV  Andreyev         RHB   RFM
#13 A   Wood             LHB   LMF
#11 NA  Salisbury        LHB   SLA
#4  TSF Gibbs            RHB   RLB

by **South Newlandia** » Sat Feb 10, 2024 2:21 pm

Cutoff!

If you notice any mistakes, please alert me ASAP!

Campionato Esportiva 37

Group A
Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison 2–2 South Newlandia
Dispertag 1–4 Josifovo
Irithoren 0–0 Sylestone

P Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Josifovo                         3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9
2 Irithoren                        3   2  1  0    8   3  +5    7
3 Sylestone                        3   2  1  0    3   0  +3    7
4 South Newlandia                  3   0  1  2    3   6  −3    1
5 Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison   3   0  1  2    2   5  −3    1
6 Dispertag                        3   0  0  3    3  10  −7    0

Group B
Xanneria 1–0 Hapilopper
TJUN-ia 1–0 Damukuni
Acadiana 1–0 Vangaziland

P Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                          3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9
2 Xanneria                         3   3  0  0    5   0  +5    9
3 Acadiana                         3   1  1  1    1   2  −1    4
4 Damukuni                         3   1  0  2    1   4  −3    3
5 Hapilopper                       3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    1
6 Vangaziland                      3   0  0  3    1   5  −4    0

Group C
Robostania 0–2 Dod Rava
Gunnison and Telluride 0–4 Macbon
The Hannasean Federation 1–0 Nerriat

P Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Dod Rava                         3   3  0  0    8   3  +5    9
2 Macbon                           3   2  0  1    9   4  +5    6
3 The Hannasean Federation         3   2  0  1    4   4   0    6
4 Gunnison and Telluride           3   1  0  2    4   7  −3    3
5 Nerriat                          3   0  1  2    3   6  −3    1
6 Robostania                       3   0  1  2    3   7  −4    1

Group D
Eshialand 1–1 Natanians and Nosts
Slembana 0–1 North Pole and South Lapland
Gouvanarch 0–1 Lozho

P Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Lozho                            3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9
2 Natanians and Nosts              3   2  1  0    3   1  +2    7
3 North Pole and South Lapland     3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
4 Gouvanarch                       3   1  0  2    4   3  +1    3
5 Eshialand                        3   0  1  2    3   5  −2    1
6 Slembana                         3   0  0  3    1   7  −6    0

Group E
Boring Paradise 0–2 Schimata
Kita-Hinode 2–4 Fhulghamous Peninsula
Esportivan Darmen 3–3 Tumbra

P Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Fhulghamous Peninsula            3   3  0  0   10   2  +8    9
2 Esportivan Darmen                3   2  1  0    8   4  +4    7
3 Tumbra                           3   2  1  0    5   3  +2    7
4 Schimata                         3   1  0  2    2   6  −4    3
5 Kita-Hinode                      3   0  0  3    3   7  −4    0
6 Boring Paradise                  3   0  0  3    0   6  −6    0

Espo T20 IV

as a reminder, the first two games are played at the Black Dolphin Arena, the other two at Harrier Stadium.

Esportivan Darmen 140/4 (20 overs)
TJUN-ia 163/5 (20 overs)
TJUN-ia win by 23 runs

South Newlandia 175/5 (20 overs)
Lozho 179/4 (19.3 overs)
Lozho win by six wickets

Natanians and Nosts 178/5 (20 overs)
Tumbra 198/4 (20 overs)
Tumbra win by 20 runs

The Plough Islands 171/4 (20 overs)
Sylestone 173/8 (18.4 overs)
Sylestone win by two wickets

P Group                Pld   W  D  L     NRR   Pts 
1 Tumbra                 3   3  0  0   +1.441    6
2 Sylestone              3   3  0  0   +1.132    6
3 TJUN-ia                3   3  0  0   +1.100    6
4 Esportivan Darmen      3   1  0  2   -0.322    2
5 Lozho                  3   1  0  2   -0.503    2
6 The Plough Islands     3   1  0  2   -0.687    2
7 Natanians and Nosts    3   0  0  3   -0.976    0
8 South Newlandia        3   0  0  3   -1.242    0

Esportivan Baseball Trophy III

As a reminder: DH preference goes with the home team (playing the bottom innings).

Group A
TJUN-ia                       2 0 2 2 0 2 0 2 0 10
Xanneria                      0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0  2

The Hannasean Federation      0 0 1 0 0 3 0 0 0  4
Esportivan Darmen             1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0  3

Eshialand                     0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 2  4
South Newlandia               1 0 0 6 1 0 0 1 X  9

P Group A                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 South Newlandia               3   3  0   14   5  +9    1.000
2 TJUN-ia                       3   2  1   14   8  +6    0.667
3 Eshialand                     3   2  1   13  14  −1    0.667
4 The Hannasean Federation      3   1  2    5   8  −3    0.333
5 Esportivan Darmen             3   1  2   11  12  −1    0.333
6 Xanneria                      3   0  3   11  21 −10    0.000

Group B
Ranoria                       1 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 1  4
Acadiana                      0 0 1 0 2 0 0 0 0 0  3

Dod Rava                      0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 3  4
Natanians and Nosts           0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Irithoren                     0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0  2
Super-Llamaland               0 1 1 1 1 4 2 0 X 10

P Group B                     Pld   W  L   RF  RA  RD    Win % 
1 Super-Llamaland               3   3  0   21   6 +15    1.000
2 Dod Rava                      3   2  1   11   5  +6    0.667
3 Natanians and Nosts           3   2  1   14  14   0    0.667
4 Ranoria                       3   1  2   12  16  −4    0.333
5 Irithoren                     3   1  2    7  20 −13    0.333
6 Acadiana                      3   0  3   12  16  −4    0.000

Esportivan Ice Hockey Trophy II

Group A
South Newlandia 1–5 Tumbra
Eshialand 1–0 North Pole and South Lapland
TJUN-ia 5–1 Dod Rava

P Group A                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tumbra                         3   3  0  0    9   1  +8    9
2 TJUN-ia                        3   2  0  1   12   3  +9    6
3 South Newlandia                3   2  0  1   12  12   0    6
4 Dod Rava                       3   1  0  2   10  14  −4    3
5 Eshialand                      3   1  0  2    4  11  −7    3
6 North Pole and South Lapland   3   0  0  3    2   8  −6    0

Group B
Esportivan Darmen 5–5 Natanians and Nosts
Xanneria 1–0 Vangaziland
Lozho 4–3 Banija

P Group B                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Banija                         3   2  0  1   10   4  +6    6
2 Lozho                          3   2  0  1    9   7  +2    6
3 Xanneria                       3   2  0  1    2   6  −4    6
4 Esportivan Darmen              3   1  1  1    7   6  +1    4
5 Vangaziland                    3   1  0  2    6   6   0    3
6 Natanians and Nosts            3   0  1  2   11  16  −5    1

Esportivan Handball Trophy II

Group
Natanians and Nosts 23–24 South Newlandia
Vangaziland 27–33 The Hannasean Federation
Sylestone 27–23 HUElavia

P Group                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sylestone                     3   3  0  0   91  74 +17    6
2 South Newlandia               3   2  0  1   83  79  +4    4
3 HUElavia                      3   2  0  1   78  76  +2    4
4 The Hannasean Federation      3   1  0  2   84  87  −3    2
5 Natanians and Nosts           3   1  0  2   73  78  −5    2
6 Vangaziland                   3   0  0  3   78  93 −15    0

Esportivan Karting Trophy

Week 2: Training and Qualifying

Conditions:      	Dry
Nation:         	SNL
Circuit:        	Elephant Karting Track

Training results are up to the roleplayers.
Each racer has two laps to set their qualifying time. The faster time is counted.

POS # DRIVER                   	FASTEST LAP	GAP TO LEADER
 1 15 Sentient Engine          	00:00:46.931	00:00:00.000
 2 14 Robin Dragonovic         	00:00:47.064	00:00:00.133
 3 10 Zebediah von Ziggler     	00:00:47.118	00:00:00.186
 4 16 Lane Carter              	00:00:47.366	00:00:00.435
 5  4 Willum Bond              	00:00:47.536	00:00:00.605
 6  1 Jyri Jatkola             	00:00:47.602	00:00:00.671
 7 17 Ted Pressley             	00:00:47.975	00:00:01.044
 8 19 Janet Franssen           	00:00:48.057	00:00:01.126
 9 18 C J N M M Suh-Hyung      	00:00:48.124	00:00:01.192
10  5 Evangelos Kalyftakis     	00:00:48.321	00:00:01.389
11  2 Gilles Taggart-Kennard   	00:00:48.442	00:00:01.510
12 13 Nepö Kinder              	00:00:48.450	00:00:01.519
13  8 Rudy Edwards             	00:00:49.256	00:00:02.325
14  6 Tucker Capps             	00:00:49.938	00:00:03.007
15 12 Gabriel Morales          	00:00:50.020	00:00:03.088
16  3 Julita Lérida            	00:00:50.497	00:00:03.565
17  9 Karim Dafiyrah           	00:00:50.869	00:00:03.938
18 11 Ion Numa Apilescu        	00:00:51.763	00:00:04.832
19  7 Victoria Davidson        	00:00:54.921	00:00:07.990

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Sun Feb 11, 2024 3:54 pm

By Peter Davis

Jaguars
Day 3 would see the Jagaurs back in action in Newport against Damukuni and this game...well, it was a game. That's all I can really say on the matter - that it existed. We did win in the end, 1-0 thanks to a 23rd-minute goal from Kristina Bay, but other than that, it wasn't the best viewing the observable universe. 3-0 is still 3-0, but it wasn't fun. Up next? The big one. Xanneria. 3-0 vs 3-0.

Bowlin' Jags
Over in New Colk, the Bowlin' Jags were taking on Esportivan Darmen and once again, we won the toss and elected to bat first. This game wasn't as run-heavy as the other two but we still managed to put up some good numbers, with Logan McGarra opening with 67, and while Houston Michaels managed 3 wickets, we pushed on to 163/5. They had to try and chase that down and they certainly tried considering all the pressure we were giving to them, with Kynaston Kerr managing 52, but the pressure placed upon them was too much for them in the end...and with 140/4 on the board, we pulled off the 23-run win. Up next? 3-0 Sylestone.

Battin' Jags
Over in Elephant Valley, The Battin' Jags were taking on debutants Xanneria and oh boy, this one wasn't close at all. Yolande Sirapui did concede 2 runs on the mound, but they didn't need to worry about anything as we managed to do our business two by two. Two-run bombs by Palila Kalawai’a (1st), Santino Fenatti (3rd), Khin Marlar Tun (4th), Li Chen Sho (6th) and Svetlana Mykvinich (8th) secured a thumping 10-2 win and one that got us to 2-1 in this group. Up next? The Hannasean Federation.

Ice Jagaurs
Across town, the Ice Jagaurs were up against top seeds Dod Rava in a clash everyone knew would be important for the overall feeling of the group. Dod Rava would take the lead after 1 minute thanks to Paweł Woźniak before the Jagaurs got back up, dusted themselves off and never allowed them to do that again. Saffron Allen managed a hattrick before Graham Cox and Mary Karaitiana made things absolutely certain as they moved back to 2-1. Up next? North Pole and South Lapland.

Lane Carter
In a separate part of time you will find Lane Carter and the rest of the EKT gang as Round 2 moved to the Elephant Karting Track, a place that looked like an Elephant and wasn't expected to be as gentle as those giants. This track certainly was a struggle to try and tame but in the end, qualifying had to arrive one way or another. The Sentient Engine ended up on pole over Robin Dragonovic and Zebediah von Ziggler with Lane Carter 4 tenths down but still enough for P4 next time.

Campionato Esportiva 37 & Sport. Fest. 3 - Everything Thread

Orange and Black (I)

Orange and Black (II)

Orange and Black (III)

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