Updates from the Saint Eleanor League

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Oct 30, 2021 10:22 am

Hiya, guys. The name's Saint Eleanor - also known as Tinhampton, Demanams, Soche, Gladom Newion, and now Senpo for some reason - and this is where I get to vomit out all of my football scores, results, imports, exports, domestic commerce, applications for the heightiness of commerce, fully-automated luxury-space catenaccio, and bygone and bygone and so on and so on.

One does not simply walk into this thread and post whatever, unless one is Saint Eleanor, one of her puppets, or a moderator on patrol. Or you have my permission. Which is exceedingly unlikely to ever happen.

TABLE OF TABLES OF RESULTS. I KNOW, RIGHT?:

Nations in use (Saint Eleanor is my main; Senpo is my puppet)

Saint Eleanor (links to Domestic Soccer Newswires threads):
- 1996 [IFCF 8]: Full
- 1997 [IFCF 9]: Full
- 1998 [IFCF 10]: Compendium
- 1999 [IFCF 11]: Compendium
- 2000 [IFCF 12]: Compendium
- 2001 [IFCF 13]: Compendium
- 2002 [IFCF 14]: Compendium
- 2003 [IFCF 15]: Compendium
- 2004 [IFCF 16]: Compendium
- 2005 [IFCF 17]: Compendium [COMING SOON!]
Saint Eleanor (links to this thread):
- 1996 [IFCF 8]: Full
- 1997 [IFCF 9]: Full
- 1998 [IFCF 10]:
  - Charles Trump Shield (youth football; good for the Cup Winners' Cup and Rising Stars Cup)
  - Saint Eleanor League (senior football; good for the Champions' League and Challengers' Cup): Preview, Rounds 1-6, Rounds 7-12, Rounds 13-18, Compendium
- 1999 [IFCF 11]:
  - Charles Trump Shield
  - Saint Eleanor League: Preview and Season Review
  - The Showcase
  - Special reports: Arielle Richardson's Diary (Saint Eleanor's RSC misadventures)
- 2000 [IFCF 12]:
- 2001 [IFCF 13]:
  - Charles Trump Shield
  - Saint Eleanor League
  - IFCF 12 Review: delayed until further notice. Watch this space!
  - The Showcase
- 2002 [IFCF 14]:
- 2003 [IFCF 15]:
- 2004 [IFCF 16]:
- 2005 [IFCF 17]:
  - Charles Trump Shield
  - Saint Eleanor League
  - IFCF 16 Retrospective
  - The Showcase
Nations not in use
Tinhampton (all links to 2009-vintage Domestic Soccer Newswires thread): season 1 (full) [UICA 68], season 2 (full) [UICA 72], season 3 (CANCELLED BEFORE A BALL WAS KICKED - apologies to MYT, EQS and Apox) [UICA 73]
Demanams (link to 2009-vintage Domestic Soccer Newswires thread): season 1 (full) [UICA 72]
Atoccia: abandoned/never-scored attempt at running a youth league that doubled up as a senior-competitions entry
Senpo: abandoned/never-scored attempt at introducing international football to the good folk of Atlanticana

Here ends the meta-table.

* * * * * * * * * *

Foreigners in Saint Eleanor, in order of date of latest arrival (foreigners who also hold Eleanorian citizenship in Evening News green; Eleanorians who also hold foreign citizenship in Evening News orange) (all ages as of the last estimate available in 2005) (excluding Tinhamptonians)

Layla Grover (CDM, 25yo, she/her, Tikariot) - #4 - Independence 1975 (signed during TW35/before 1999; James Trott sold)
Wlad Wlad (CB, 36yo, he/him, Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom) - #5 - Athletic Saint Eleanor (signed during TW35/before 1999; Sarah Jenkins retired)
Rachel Schanke (manager, 42yo*, she/her, Cassadaigua) - Hiyashi Celestia (joined pre-1999; has sought reassurances of money being thrown about almost everywhere; *age as of 2005, EXT stardate)
Daiki Fujiwara (CB, 25yo, he/him, Squidroidia [acquired Eleanorian citizenship 2005]) - #4 - Newbanks United (joined from Starlight SC of Squidroidia's academy in TW35/pre-1999)
Hamnet Borysov (LM, 26yo, he/him, Inkling, Squidroidia [acquired Eleanorian citizenship 2005]) - #7 - Newbanks United (joined from Inkopolis FC of Squidroidia's academy in TW35/pre-1999)
Nobuyuki Ishida (ST, 27yo, he/him, Squidroidia [acquired Eleanorian citizenship 2005]) - #10 - Newbanks United (joined from Northport Meadows SC of Squidroidia's academy in TW35/pre-1999)
Gionata Mariani (RM/ST, 24yo, he/him, Macbon) - #11 - Golden Unicorn (signed during TW35/before 1999; Wayne Crawshaw spirited away to Newbanks a few hours before the deadline)
Kōji Katou (CB, 35yo, he/him, Squidroidia [acquired Eleanorian citizenship 2005]) - #3 - Newbanks United (signed during TW35/before 1999)
Nicole Morlock (LB, 31yo, she/her, Cassadaigua) - #2 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed during TW35/before 1999)
Nightingale (ST, 34yo, she/her, Pegasus, Equestria) - #9 - Athletic Saint Eleanor (signed after TW35 but before 1999. Don't ask how. Katie O'Donnell went the other way to Kitara AA of Banija.) ~~~ ages one year every two seasons [next scheduled for 2006 postseason]
Takeshi Honda (ST, 27yo, he/him, Kandorith) - #10 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed after TW35 but before 1999) ~~~ ages one year every two seasons [next scheduled for 2006 postseason]
Shojiro Ito (GK, 28yo, he/him, Kandorith) - #1 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed after TW35 but before 1999) ~~~ ages one year every two seasons [next scheduled for 2006 postseason]
Nobusuke Kuronuma (CM, 31yo, he/him, Kandorith) - #6 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed after TW35 but before 1999) ~~~ ages one year every two seasons [next scheduled for 2006 postseason]
Yusuf Sofyan (CB, 24yo, he/him, Pemecutan) - #4 - Good Hope Club (signed during TW36/before 2000; Mary Kirkport's the manager and she's forced Dennis Jonas onto the bench)
Yelto-Aflan Ono (manager, 43yo, they/them, Qusmo) - Athletic Saint Eleanor (joined pre-2000; Adam Woolley stands down, Marie Ackroyd remains as assistant)
Lynul-Sevet Pul (RB, 24yo, they/them, Qusmo) - #3 - Occidental Olympic (joined pre-2000; newgen)
Wanar-Xalan Tla (CM, 24yo, they/them, Qusmo) - #16 - Golden Unicorn (joined pre-2000; newgen)
Isi Šasawić (CB, 26yo, he/him, Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom) - #4 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed during TW37/before 2001; Mike Derry shunted to Nova Aegis for no good reason whatsoever)
Kichirō Matsuda (CM, 21yo, he/him, Wunderbar, Squidroidia) - #8 - Independence 1975 (signed during TW38/before 2002 for the Academy in preparation for 2003 callups; Alice Christopher silently dips to the management team)
Alessio Lombardo (CM, 21yo, he/him, South Newlandia) - #8 - Nova Aegis (signed during TW39/before 2003; Anne Hoar actually retires)
Dortmün Çídh (ST, 28yo, he/him, Farfadillis) - #9 - Independence 1975 (signed during TW39/before 2003; ordinary order of strikers completely upended)
Jaclyn Foley (ST, 24yo, she/her, Tikariot) - #18 - Golden Unicorn (signed during TW40/before 2004; swap deal involving Tim Hart's move to the Veriasod Wolves)
Caradoc Anghoill (RB, 25yo, he/him, Squornshelan Remnant States) - #5 - Hiyashi Celestia (signed during TW41/before 2005; Lamotera Chelira siloed off to management team)
Kirsti Sundgren (GK, 20yo, she/her, Norrhem) - #1 - Athletic Saint Eleanor (signed after TW41 but before 2005; Stuart Norton forced into hiding on subs bench)
Lydia Vickers (CB, 18yo, she/her, Saint Eleanor [Prahecqois citizen at birth]) - #4 - Saint Benedict's Catholic (has never lived outside Saint Eleanor; mum moved from Prahecq to EXT in the early 1980s)

Eleanorians abroad, in order of leaving the country (dual citizens labelled as above) (all ages as of the end of 2005)

James Trott (CM, 40yo, he/him) - playing??? in The Licentian Isles for Carrington PREMIER (Colesham Parish Senior League) (signed during TW35/before 1999; expressed wish to remain in TLI despite the fog descending after the 2002 season)
John Parkinson (LM, 31yo, he/him) - playing? in The Cordian Isles for Creston Wolves (CIFA League A) (signed during TW35/before 1999)
Angela Dixon (RM, 36yo, she/her) - playing in Cassadaigua for Sterling Heights (CSL Premier Division) (signed during TW35/before 1999)
Katie O'Donnell (ST, 34yo, she/her) - playing in Banija for Kitara AA (Shango-Fogoa Premier League) (signed during the Nightingale manoeuvre)
Exandra Davies (RB, 30yo, she/her) - playing in Quebec and Shingoryeo for Jolbonopolis United (Q-League) (signed during TW36/before 2000)
Angelica Northend (RM, 23yo, she/her) - playing in Capital Cove for Capital Cove Defense Forces (The Cove League) (signed during TW36/before 2000)
Adam Denby (ST, 30yo, he/him) - playing in Mytanija for Energija-Nuklearna (Top League) (signed during TW41/before 2005; played for Olympic Thessia between TWs 37-41)
"David Howell-Watkins" [Dave Watkins] (supermarket cashier, "26"yo, really 31yo, he/him) - NOT playing in Quebec and Shingoryeo for Olympique de Rimouski (Q-League) (signed during TW38/before 2002 on the basis of a pack of lies he put out on his blog; played one game, was found to be terrible and is now an illegal immigrant awaiting deportation)
Sylvia Hollenberg (CDM/CM, 23yo, she/her) - playing in Mytanija for Energija-Nuklearna (Top League) (signed during TW39/before 2003)
Tim Hart (ST, 26yo, he/him) - playing in Tikariot for Veriasod Wolves FC (Tikariot Premier League) (signed during TW40/before 2004)
Lydia Nicholls (CDM/CM, 25yo, she/her) - playing in Cap Nord for Sandfjell Fotball (Premier Division) (signed during TW41/before 2005)
Sam Bradman (CB, 24yo, he/him) - playing in Dantopia for Rockport Rovers (Dantopian Premier League) (signed during TW41/before 2005)
John Tresco (CM, 32yo, he/him) - playing in Corporate City One for Credit Cartel Gold Knights (Football League 1) (signed during TW41/before 2005)

Tinhamptonians abroad, in order of leaving the OOC Tinhamptonsphere (all ages as of the end of Eleanorian 2005)

Julia Atherton (48yo, she/her) - managing in the Squornshelan Remnant States for Yassaca FC (Superleague) (hired during TW41/before 2005)

Eligibility for Eleanorian citizenship

Meta TL;DR:
- The players I create are always Eleanorian citizens ab initio, at minimum. From time to time, they may have foreign ancestry (pre-arranged with the respective players), which may be reflected in their dual-citizenships.
- Characters from nations which have withdrawn from international football, and who remain in Saint Eleanor after such withdrawal, are eligible for dual Eleanorian citizenship (but are not necessarily granted it, unless there's a reasonably strong desire; I'll normally check in with the other player on this). Please note that this excludes cases such as the mass recall of Mytanar players prior to TW48/IFCF23.
- In accordance with FIFA's principles, if you haven't withdrawn from international football, I may check in with you after five seasons of continued participation/residency to see if your character desires Eleanorian citizenship (and vice versa for my characters in foreign lands). I won't do this for characters who are particularly important to you.
- The grant of Eleanorian dual-citizenship only indicates eligibility to play for Saint Eleanor; it's not a requirement that your player abandon all former allegiances and prepare to be called up to the Eleanorian national team. Where they are players I create, they will normally - but not necessarily always - play for Saint Eleanor. Where they are players that you have created, they will normally keep playing for your national team, and will only be considered to be called up by Saint Eleanor if you want them to be. And, of course, some of my dual-nationals have never been so good at football as to merit a call-up for either of their national teams.

Longer, in-character summary:

Through independence: Whoever was in Saint Eleanor on June 23rd 1975, other than active-duty Tinhamptonian soldiers, is an Eleanorian citizen - regardless of whether they were here illegally, did other actions which may have ordinarily rendered them ineligible for citizenship, or held the citizenship of some place other than Tinhampton. Whoever served at least one day in the National Liberation Front, even if they fled later during the War of Independence, is also an Eleanorian citizen - although many may not know, want, or need it.
Through birth: In general, anyone born within Saint Eleanor is already an Eleanorian citizen, no matter the circumstances, except for children of diplomats posted within Saint Eleanor. Anyone born outside Saint Eleanor to a diplomat posted by Saint Eleanor to that country is also already an Eleanorian citizen. Anyone born outside Saint Eleanor with at least one Eleanorian parent, or with at least one parent or grandparent born within Saint Eleanor, is eligible to become an Eleanorian citizen, although this is not necessarily automatic and formalities may have to be made.
Through residency: From time to time, people with no blood ties to Saint Eleanor may come here, normally to work. In such cases, one may become an Eleanorian citizen with five years of continuous residency in the country - although allowances will be made for holidays, necessary business elsewhere, emergencies, and suchlike. (It is assumed that anyone with enough willpower to remain in this country for five consecutive years is earning enough money and knowing enough Terranean to not be a drain on society.) This is a voluntary process and there are many people who, despite having met the time limit, have no inclination or willingness to become a citizen.
Those on work visas may bring their spouse (including same-sex partners, see below) and dependent children to the country. Spouses may concurrently apply for Eleanorian citizenship. Children aged under 10 may apply after three years of continuous residency, and children aged between 10 and 18 may apply after five years (which is OOCly in line with FIFA's standards).
Those on student visas - who move to the country for the primary purpose of studying at the University and Polytechnic - must normally come alone. They are eligible for citizenship from five years beginning from ten days before their university studies began (i.e. the Friday before freshers' week), so long as they have taken some sort of action to legally remain in the country throughout the entire period - whether through continued study or employment. Non-Eleanorian citizens who play in the Saint Eleanor League while going to university have traditionally been treated as though they held work visas, as that is how they make their livelihood, above and beyond students who may hold more traditional part-time jobs.
Children born to a surrogate in Saint Eleanor are always Eleanorian citizens, no matter where they go afterwards. Children born to a surrogate outside Saint Eleanor, and who are subsequently bestowed upon a family in Saint Eleanor, are normally Eleanorian citizens (but will probably not be citizens of the non-Eleanorian country; please check with that country's authorities for more details). Children adopted from outside Saint Eleanor will normally need to go through the three-year or five-year residence period depending on their age.
Through family: In and of itself, marrying an Eleanorian citizen does not also make you an Eleanorian citizen. If you married a non-Eleanorian citizen who is in the country on a work visa, you are eligible for citizenship at the end of your spouse's five-year residence period. If you married an Eleanorian citizen, you are eligible for citizenship after five years of continuous residence in Saint Eleanor (even if the five-year period began before your marriage). Those who divorce before the five years are not normally eligible, unless they obtain work in their own right or the divorce was due to domestic abuse or adultery.
Same-sex marriages cannot be transacted in Saint Eleanor. It is possible to have a same-sex marriage in many countries, even if you and your loved one are single Eleanorian citizens (i.e. a "destination wedding"); check with the other country's authorities for details. Such marriages will be treated as though they were opposite-sex marriages for the purposes of Eleanorian law, including immigration law. Please note that marriages between a non-binary person and a man or a woman are already allowed, as in the case of Giskra Alden; and that, since October 2004, the Government has stopped forcibly dissolving marriages where one of the parties has transitioned gender.
Saint Eleanor does NOT recognise civil unions or civil partnerships, whether same-sex or opposite-sex. In the interests of compassion, such individuals will be deemed to have entered into marriages for all purposes under Eleanorian law.
Through the failure of one's homeland: Stateless individuals found within Saint Eleanor (as in the case of Yusuf Sofyan, who was playing for the Good Hope Club when the United Mandaran States/Pemecutan collapsed circa 2010) are always granted Eleanorian citizenship. On a case-by-case basis, individuals from nations which have withdrawn from international football, and who wish to carry on football business in Saint Eleanor, may apply for Eleanorian citizenship for such purposes; it has historically been granted, although not everyone has sought to take advantage of this.
Rescission: If the automatic grant of Eleanorian citizenship upon an individual would violate a single-citizenship law that applies to them, then it shall not be granted; such individuals may apply for Eleanorian citizenship, but do so in the knowledge that they will lose their other citizenship in accordance with their other country's law. Individuals may lose their citizenship and be deported back home for especially grave offences, but never where they are a single Eleanorian citizen or they have been granted Eleanorian citizenship through independence or NLF service.
Dual citizenship: Is allowed under Eleanorian law, and some high-profile figures (both within and beyond football) are Eleanorian dual-citizens. Multiple citizenships are also allowed by definition (OOCly, Dua Lipa is a citizen of the UK, Albania, and Kosovo).

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Oct 30, 2021 10:24 am

IC: Jacob Hoskin was the last Tinhamptonian general to leave Saint Eleanor after his army was humiliated - and Eleanorian independence was declared - in 1975.

OOC:

Two roleplays associated with the final day of SEL 96 - It Doesn't Really Matter and Stop in the Name of Spite - follow this table.
I am not entering this league for IFCF 9 or future IFCFs; this post is in my personal newswire for archival purposes only.

The Saint Eleanor League of 1996 - Final Table

The Saint Eleanor League of 1996     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  18   10   5   3    39   29  +10    35    Champions' League 8
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18    7   7   4    38   32   +6    28    Challengers' Cup 8
 3 Grand Beach                        18    8   3   7    21   20   +1    27    Challengers' Cup 8
 4 Army and Navy                      18    7   5   6    24   17   +7    26    Challengers' Cup 8
 5 Occidental Olympic                 18    6   7   5    35   33   +2    25
 6 Sword and Shield                   18    7   3   8    33   36   −3    24
 7 Juventud                           18    5   8   5    33   36   −3    23
 8 Good Hope Club                     18    6   4   8    32   30   +2    22
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    5   4   9    25   37  −12    19
10 Golden Unicorn                     18    2   8   8    22   32  −10    14    Jacob Hoskin Award for Failure

Round 1
Grand Beach 1–0 Good Hope Club
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–2 Occidental Olympic
Golden Unicorn 2–3 Juventud
Independence 1975 3–2 Sword and Shield
Nova Aegis 1–0 Army and Navy

Round 2
Good Hope Club 0–2 Army and Navy
Sword and Shield 4–2 Nova Aegis
Juventud 3–4 Independence 1975
Occidental Olympic 1–2 Golden Unicorn
Grand Beach 1–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Round 3
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–2 Good Hope Club
Golden Unicorn 3–3 Grand Beach
Independence 1975 5–3 Occidental Olympic
Nova Aegis 0–2 Juventud
Army and Navy 1–2 Sword and Shield

Round 4
Good Hope Club 4–3 Sword and Shield
Juventud 3–4 Army and Navy
Occidental Olympic 5–3 Nova Aegis
Grand Beach 0–0 Independence 1975
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–1 Golden Unicorn

Round 5
Golden Unicorn 1–3 Good Hope Club
Independence 1975 2–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Nova Aegis 0–1 Grand Beach
Army and Navy 3–0 Occidental Olympic
Sword and Shield 0–1 Juventud

Round 6
Good Hope Club 2–2 Juventud
Occidental Olympic 1–1 Sword and Shield
Grand Beach 0–1 Army and Navy
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–2 Nova Aegis
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Independence 1975

Round 7
Independence 1975 2–3 Good Hope Club
Nova Aegis 1–1 Golden Unicorn
Army and Navy 1–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Sword and Shield 0–1 Grand Beach
Juventud 1–1 Occidental Olympic

Round 8
Good Hope Club 0–2 Occidental Olympic
Grand Beach 2–3 Juventud
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–3 Sword and Shield
Golden Unicorn 0–0 Army and Navy
Independence 1975 2–2 Nova Aegis

Round 9
Nova Aegis 1–0 Good Hope Club
Army and Navy 0–1 Independence 1975
Sword and Shield 3–2 Golden Unicorn
Juventud 1–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Occidental Olympic 0–0 Grand Beach

Halfway Table                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor              9    6   2   1    26   15  +11    20
 2 Army and Navy                       9    5   1   3    12    7   +5    16
 3 Independence 1975                   9    4   3   2    20   18   +2    15
 4 Juventud                            9    4   2   3    19   19    0    14
 5 Grand Beach                         9    3   3   3     9    9    0    12
 6 Sword and Shield                    9    3   2   4    18   18    0    11
 7 Good Hope Club                      9    3   1   5    14   18   −4    10
 8 Occidental Olympic                  9    2   3   4    15   19   −4     9
 9 Golden Unicorn                      9    1   5   3    13   16   −3     8
10 Nova Aegis                          9    2   2   5    12   19   −7     8

Round 10
Good Hope Club 0–1 Grand Beach
Occidental Olympic 3–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Juventud 1–1 Golden Unicorn
Sword and Shield 2–4 Independence 1975
Army and Navy 1–2 Nova Aegis

Round 11
Army and Navy 1–1 Good Hope Club
Nova Aegis 2–3 Sword and Shield
Independence 1975 3–3 Juventud
Golden Unicorn 0–3 Occidental Olympic
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–2 Grand Beach

Round 12
Good Hope Club 5–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Grand Beach 3–2 Golden Unicorn
Occidental Olympic 3–2 Independence 1975
Juventud 1–1 Nova Aegis
Sword and Shield 1–3 Army and Navy

Round 13
Sword and Shield 2–1 Good Hope Club
Army and Navy 3–0 Juventud
Nova Aegis 2–2 Occidental Olympic
Independence 1975 1–0 Grand Beach
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Round 14
Good Hope Club 1–0 Golden Unicorn
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2–2 Independence 1975
Grand Beach 1–2 Nova Aegis
Occidental Olympic 2–2 Army and Navy
Juventud 0–1 Sword and Shield

Round 15
Juventud 3–3 Good Hope Club
Sword and Shield 3–2 Occidental Olympic
Army and Navy 0–1 Grand Beach
Nova Aegis 2–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Independence 1975 3–0 Golden Unicorn

Round 16
Good Hope Club 1–2 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 0–1 Nova Aegis
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–1 Army and Navy
Grand Beach 2–1 Sword and Shield
Occidental Olympic 3–3 Juventud

Round 17
Occidental Olympic 0–0 Good Hope Club
Juventud 2–1 Grand Beach
Sword and Shield 0–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Army and Navy 1–1 Golden Unicorn
Nova Aegis 0–1 Independence 1975

Round 18
Good Hope Club 6–1 Nova Aegis
Independence 1975 1–0 Army and Navy
Golden Unicorn 4–2 Sword and Shield
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–1 Juventud
Grand Beach 1–2 Occidental Olympic

Final Table                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  18   10   5   3    39   29  +10    35
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18    7   7   4    38   32   +6    28
 3 Grand Beach                        18    8   3   7    21   20   +1    27
 4 Army and Navy                      18    7   5   6    24   17   +7    26
 5 Occidental Olympic                 18    6   7   5    35   33   +2    25
 6 Sword and Shield                   18    7   3   8    33   36   −3    24
 7 Juventud                           18    5   8   5    33   36   −3    23
 8 Good Hope Club                     18    6   4   8    32   30   +2    22
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    5   4   9    25   37  −12    19
10 Golden Unicorn                     18    2   8   8    22   32  −10    14

Oneshot Special: It Doesn't Really Matter

8:49pm - Tuesday 1st October 1996
When you've played one apparently-important game in a week and you end up having to play another apparently-important game a few days later, a few things might come in necessary. Rest? Yes. Practice? Occasionally. Focus? Definitely. Coffee? Obviously. Katie O'Donnell figured she'd had the last of these, at least. Not that this was one of her more memorable games. Athletic Saint Eleanor... drawing 1-1 with Juventud? A bunch of uni students who probably don't even want to play football?

This was hardly one that Aaron Francis would look back on fondly, either. Ridiculous challenge on Freddy Newton around the six-yard box, if not nigh-on horrendous; no need for the referee to give him a second yellow card already at the end of a terrible day. That he felt no need to complain, argue or incessantly stomp at the decision just piled on the impact further; he just walked off. As that was happening, O'Donnell put the ball on the spot and looked around a bit.

She was suffering from a few doubts - only a few - but Newton nodded and pointed at her before trudging off to the slightly more homely surroundings of "about twenty yards out." A vote of confidence, surely? She must have thought the crowd was on her side, too. Step back.

Step forward. The man in black blows shortly beforehand, giving her a relatively short runup that was seemingly relatively long, for a relatively consequential penalty in relatively inconsequential circumstances. The ball pings off to her right, where she hopes nobody takes serious notice.

And now stand there. Why? Give it a few more seconds and somebody - she was tempted to think it might be Liam Brown - whacks it miles over the bar, out of play and then back in play for a goal kick that meant absolutely nothing to anybody whatsoever.

It didn't really matter. Nothing did. She would still be the league's top scorer, just about. Athletic would still be vaguely popular, and second. Juventud would still be vaguely obscure, and would still have an entirely new teamsheet every few years, and would still finish seventh... probably. (Actually, they wouldn't have. It took a few hours before word broke out that GHC had hammered Nova Aegis 6-1 in the most one-sided match of the season.)

∴

Oneshot Special: Stop in the Name of Spite

7:53pm - Tuesday 1st October 1996
Caitlynn Jones had just about sealed her drinks bottle for the time being when Georgia Wood snatched it from her and then playfully tapped her on the head with it. After all, they were playing for Golden Unicorn, one of the worst - never mind least defensively improved - teams in this new, heavily bankrolled, fairly attack-minded league. She wasn't the first person in that dressing room to receive an accusing glance from Wood; by no means would she be the last.

"Do you - any of you - seriously think that 2-2 at half time against a bunch of overrated underachievers is supposed to be a good result?" Wood asked to nobody in particular. Most of them seemed to surrender into a state of agreement. One of them didn't - and she raised her eyebrows at the manager, not for the last time either.

"This is proper atrocious, and I mean it, and it's all all of your faults! And no, it's not my fault any of you are making silly mistakes, either," she added, while conveniently forgetting that her attempt to parry away Sword and Shield's first shot of the game led to them scoring with their second.

"So why am I bothering listening to you rather than the tracksuited guy over there?" questioned Owen Prentice, who had been substituted off earlier after suffering a mild injury.

"Because I have a plan to stop this ship from becoming... shit. Yes. The gaffer should start taking notes. Anybody who wants to get past the halfway line, move all over the place, try and be reasonable in doing so, take shots when you feel like it's possible to take shots and mostly hope for the best. Anybody who doesn't, start running towards the ball - NOT the other guy - and get it somehow, and try and pass it to the people who do want to go forward if it's possible. All of you, get back out there, stop thinking and START DOING SOMETHING TO MAKE US LOOK COMPETITIVE NEXT SEASON. I'm captain for a reason, and it's not because I've been called up to the national team."

"And why are we bad?" another player - who Wood didn't quite notice - wondered out loud.

"The defenders don't have any idea where the other team's strikers and wingers are, and they're paying the price. The attack-minded players, most of them are quite literally running straight into the path of the opposition players without a care in the world, except for a couple of moments of magic I can probably chalk down to them losing focus. And the staff have given us no gameplan whatsoever, when they could just find a way to adopt my plan in the coming minutes."

"Stop being sarcastic, Georgia."

"No... this is the truth."

It seemed to work - the Unicorn scored twice in the ten minutes after kickoff. Then nothing much happened. Really? Yes. It didn't stop them from finishing five points adrift at the bottom, anyway. (And in case you were wondering, Jones got her bottle back at the end of the half-time interval.)

Saint Eleanor (EXT) qualifiers
Primary association
IFCF competitions:
Champions' League 8: Independence 1975
Challengers' Cup 8: Athletic Saint Eleanor, Grand Beach, Army and Navy

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu Feb 17, 2022 10:48 pm

IC: Jacob Hoskin was the last Tinhamptonian general to leave Saint Eleanor after his army was humiliated - and Eleanorian independence was declared - in 1975.

OOC:

I unfortunately couldn't produce anything relevant for IFCF 9 - what with my exploits in the World Assembly (as Tinhampton) and the real world dragging me down. Attached instead is the final episode of Gift of the Gab, which was very heavily inspired by a dream I had in Autumn 2020; I'm not repeating the explanation I gave Kandorith here.
I am not entering this league for IFCF 10 or future IFCFs; this post is in my personal newswire for archival purposes only.
I intend to start roleplaying the Saint Eleanor League of 1998 on Friday 18th February (Storm Megadeath willing).

The Saint Eleanor League of 1997 - Final Table

The Saint Eleanor League of 1997     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  18   14   0   4    36   18  +18    42    Champions' League 9
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18   12   4   2    52   27  +25    40    Challengers' Cup 9
 3 Army and Navy                      18    9   6   3    37   23  +14    33    Challengers' Cup 9
 4 Sword and Shield                   18    8   3   7    42   41   +1    27    Challengers' Cup 9
 5 Occidental Olympic                 18    7   5   6    32   30   +2    26
 6 Grand Beach                        18    8   2   8    25   24   +1    26
 7 Golden Unicorn                     18    5   6   7    29   32   −3    21
 8 Good Hope Club                     18    4   4  10    26   41  −15    16
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    4   2  12    14   34  −20    14
10 Juventud                           18    2   2  14    24   47  −23     8    Jacob Hoskin Award for Failure

Round 1
Good Hope Club 2–2 Nova Aegis
Army and Navy 2–3 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 1–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Juventud 1–3 Occidental Olympic
Sword and Shield 3–2 Grand Beach

Round 2
Nova Aegis 0–2 Grand Beach
Occidental Olympic 1–0 Sword and Shield
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–0 Juventud
Independence 1975 0–1 Golden Unicorn
Good Hope Club 1–4 Army and Navy

Round 3
Army and Navy 1–0 Nova Aegis
Golden Unicorn 3–0 Good Hope Club
Juventud 0–2 Independence 1975
Sword and Shield 4–6 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Grand Beach 0–2 Occidental Olympic

Round 4
Nova Aegis 1–0 Occidental Olympic
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–2 Grand Beach
Independence 1975 2–5 Sword and Shield
Good Hope Club 2–0 Juventud
Army and Navy 2–2 Golden Unicorn

Round 5
Golden Unicorn 3–0 Nova Aegis
Juventud 2–4 Army and Navy
Sword and Shield 1–0 Good Hope Club
Grand Beach 2–1 Independence 1975
Occidental Olympic 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Round 6
Nova Aegis 1–5 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Independence 1975 3–0 Occidental Olympic
Good Hope Club 0–2 Grand Beach
Army and Navy 1–2 Sword and Shield
Golden Unicorn 1–0 Juventud

Round 7
Juventud 0–1 Nova Aegis
Sword and Shield 4–4 Golden Unicorn
Grand Beach 0–1 Army and Navy
Occidental Olympic 5–1 Good Hope Club
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–1 Independence 1975

Round 8
Nova Aegis 0–2 Independence 1975
Good Hope Club 4–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Army and Navy 5–2 Occidental Olympic
Golden Unicorn 0–1 Grand Beach
Juventud 2–3 Sword and Shield

Round 9
Sword and Shield 3–1 Nova Aegis
Grand Beach 3–2 Juventud
Occidental Olympic 1–1 Golden Unicorn
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2–2 Army and Navy
Independence 1975 3–2 Good Hope Club

Halfway Table                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor              9    6   1   2    28   15  +13    19
 2 Sword and Shield                    9    6   1   2    25   19   +6    19
 3 Independence 1975                   9    6   0   3    17   12   +5    18
 4 Army and Navy                       9    5   2   2    22   14   +8    17
 5 Golden Unicorn                      9    4   3   2    16   12   +4    15
 6 Grand Beach                         9    5   0   4    14   13   +1    15
 7 Occidental Olympic                  9    4   1   4    14   13   +1    13
 8 Good Hope Club                      9    2   1   6    12   22  −10     7
 9 Nova Aegis                          9    2   1   6     6   18  −12     7
10 Juventud                            9    0   0   9     7   23  −16     0

Round 10
Nova Aegis 1–0 Good Hope Club
Independence 1975 1–0 Army and Navy
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–1 Golden Unicorn
Occidental Olympic 2–2 Juventud
Grand Beach 3–1 Sword and Shield

Round 11
Grand Beach 0–1 Nova Aegis
Sword and Shield 2–4 Occidental Olympic
Juventud 1–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Golden Unicorn 0–2 Independence 1975
Army and Navy 2–2 Good Hope Club

Round 12
Nova Aegis 0–2 Army and Navy
Good Hope Club 1–0 Golden Unicorn
Independence 1975 2–1 Juventud
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2–1 Sword and Shield
Occidental Olympic 1–2 Grand Beach

Round 13
Occidental Olympic 2–1 Nova Aegis
Grand Beach 2–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Sword and Shield 1–4 Independence 1975
Juventud 4–5 Good Hope Club
Golden Unicorn 0–0 Army and Navy

Round 14
Nova Aegis 3–4 Golden Unicorn
Army and Navy 4–1 Juventud
Good Hope Club 2–2 Sword and Shield
Independence 1975 1–0 Grand Beach
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–4 Occidental Olympic

Round 15
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Nova Aegis
Occidental Olympic 0–2 Independence 1975
Grand Beach 1–0 Good Hope Club
Sword and Shield 2–3 Army and Navy
Juventud 4–3 Golden Unicorn

Round 16
Nova Aegis 0–1 Juventud
Golden Unicorn 3–6 Sword and Shield
Army and Navy 1–0 Grand Beach
Good Hope Club 0–0 Occidental Olympic
Independence 1975 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Round 17
Independence 1975 3–0 Nova Aegis
Athletic Saint Eleanor 5–1 Good Hope Club
Occidental Olympic 2–2 Army and Navy
Grand Beach 0–0 Golden Unicorn
Sword and Shield 1–0 Juventud

Round 18
Nova Aegis 1–1 Sword and Shield
Juventud 3–3 Grand Beach
Golden Unicorn 2–3 Occidental Olympic
Army and Navy 1–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Good Hope Club 3–4 Independence 1975

Final Table                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  18   14   0   4    36   18  +18    42
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18   12   4   2    52   27  +25    40
 3 Army and Navy                      18    9   6   3    37   23  +14    33
 4 Sword and Shield                   18    8   3   7    42   41   +1    27
 5 Occidental Olympic                 18    7   5   6    32   30   +2    26
 6 Grand Beach                        18    8   2   8    25   24   +1    26
 7 Golden Unicorn                     18    5   6   7    29   32   −3    21
 8 Good Hope Club                     18    4   4  10    26   41  −15    16
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    4   2  12    14   34  −20    14
10 Juventud                           18    2   2  14    24   47  −23     8

Gift of the Gab
Episode V: Sledgehammer

4:39pm - Monday 26th August 1996

Colonel Bradley appropriated the kettle for a few seconds, then plopped himself on the other end of the sofa. "As you know, Thomas, you're in serious trouble."

"Arrestable?" asked Wellington.

"Sackable. The Eleanorian Teachers' Code - backed up by the proper force of law and all that, what, was it the Education Decree of '78? - says that Teachers must not condone, support, or facilitate cheating or misconduct in any assessment. And as far as we are concerned, the Trivia Challenge is an assessment. It just meets the definition."

"I've always been very clear that I wasn't using any DigiPacs that day."

"You were."

"Stop making up useless accusations about me."

"I'm not making up anything about you, Mister Wellington, no matter the utility. We've had complaints from somebody else - an anonymous source, so that you don't start complaining again - accusing you of cheating using some handheld video game console where you put the answers in, the anonymous person did, and it gave you the right answers that you could give to the other people. The Reporter was going on about it two days ago and we think that it's worth investigating."

"Sam Jones again? It definitely wasn't mine, somebody gave it to me."

"We think that you had it, in fact, although we'd have to run a bigger investigation to check, as I've just said."

"Fine - I'll admit I did use it."

"So we have another bastard down... huh. I'll be sure to let the Teachers' Board and the bloody Foundation know, they might do their own things - nothing criminal yet. But it probably will be, soon. Sometimes it feels like everybody in Saint Eleanor is either a bureaucrat or making 25k a year."

∴

3:17pm - Thursday 19th September 1996

The office, again. Lonsdale again: "Good morning, Sam Jones."

French again: "I'm not Sam Jones. Lydia from Grand Beach is. How many times do I need to explain this to you?"

"Zero. The joint investigation into the trivia contest cheating has been going surprisingly smoothly over the past few weeks. No matter how often you want to complain about it, they know who you are."

"You promised me I wouldn't be punished! It was always her fault."

"Not by me. There was widespread participation from everybody involved, including Dawson... and you. And you are more than aware that she disclaimed all responsibility for the captures. You said nothing, except "Lydia's to blame for all of this screencappy nonsense" - which she quite frankly isn't, and as was repeatedly proved over the course of those days. As far as I'm concerned, they've pretty much dropped the hammer on anybody who looks like they might have been cheating, and them alone."

"But she gave me the cartridge..."

"You should have said so, although that would have extended the damn thing by a couple of days. As it stands, she's been cleared of anything and everything that could have possibly been levied against her, which was more than almost anybody else. They can't possibly trace the origin of the original game back to anywhere, don't believe that anybody other than you did anything with it, and would rather not refer the matter to the military police - the military, the police, whatever they're called."

"What about everyone else?"

"Findings came out this morning. Grand Beach has been banned for a year. As have we, the New Lizard. The Trivia Contest's been awarded to the Academy by default. Mr Wellington's been permanently barred from ever taking part again and might be banned from teaching by the end of the year. You've been banned for five years, which is - in practice - permanent. Everybody else is okay."

"I did everything wrong. Everything!"

"Almost everything. No coffee from me today, sorry. Go tell your parents, if they haven't read the news already."

Saint Eleanor (EXT) qualifiers
Primary association
IFCF competitions:
Champions' League 9: Independence 1975
Challengers' Cup 9: Athletic Saint Eleanor, Army and Navy, Sword and Shield

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Mar 07, 2022 11:57 am

OOC: Yes, I'm aware I'm posting this "Mid-season interlude" before I've even finished my preview for the senior season. That's coming later this week, for obvious reasons

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 1998

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 48 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and St Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools. Liberty and the other four best teams from the previous year (the Eleanorian Academy, the University College, Brightway Community School, and Queenston Community School) enter in the third round/round of sixteen; the rest begin from the first round. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 1998 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1981. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
North Seville CS 1–2 St George CS
Grand Beach CS 1–0 New Lizard CS
St Paul CS 2–2 Blackwood CS (2–3 AET)
Silverton CS 2–0 Farbend CS
Jacobville CS 1–0 Bishopgate CS
Holland CS 0–1 New St Paul CS
Williamstown CS 0–4 Army School
Wellington CS 1–1 Richardgate CS (3–2 AET)
Sunset Gates CS 0–1 Oaktree CS
Parkside CS 2–0 Magna CS
Marketplace CS 0–0 Saint Benedict's Catholic (0–2 AET)
Bramblewood CS 1–0 Broadlands CS
Springfield CS 2–0 Mount Dennis CS
New Bayside CS 0–0 Carpentersville CS (1–0 AET)
Airport CS 4–5 Allington CS
Crownedhead CS 1–0 Elsmouth CS
Girls' Preparatory 0–1 Goldsmiths CS
Millerham CS 3–2 Eastern Fell CS
Boys' Preparatory 2–4 Trident CS
Deepchester CS 3–4 Whitehammer CS
Bonpool CS 3–1 Tannerton CS
Newbanks CS 2–1 Buckhead CS

Round 2
Oaktree CS 2–1 Wellington CS
Army School 1–0 St George CS
Allington CS 4–5 Trident CS
Bonpool CS 0–2 Newbanks CS
Goldsmiths CS 0–1 Blackwood CS
New Bayside CS 0–0 New St Paul CS (1–0 AET)
Bramblewood CS 1–1 Grand Beach CS (1–4 AET)
Millerham CS 3–1 Crownedhead CS
Jacobville CS 0–2 Whitehammer CS
Springfield CS 0–1 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Silverton CS 0–1 Parkside CS

Round 3
Army School 2–0 New Bayside CS
Millerham CS 2–2 Brightway CS (2–2 AET) (5–3 pen.)
Trident CS 2–3 University College
Parkside CS 3–1 Blackwood CS
Eleanorian Academy 1–0 Queenston CS
Liberty 0–0 Newbanks CS (0–0 AET) (6–5 pen.)
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–0 Grand Beach CS
Whitehammer CS 0–0 Oaktree CS (1–0 AET)

Round 4
Liberty 2–2 Parkside CS (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
[Paul Eastley 32', Angelica Northend 55'; Saffy English 65', 90+4']
[penalty shootout, Parkside taking first: Nina Phillips (goal), Matthew Holden (goal), James Hoffman (goal), Samantha McKenzie (goal), Saffy English (goal), Adam Boucher (goal), William Torridge (saved), Angelica Northend (goal), Pete Lawson (saved).]
University College 2–0 Millerham CS
[Lucas Barrow 45+2' (pen), Liam Farmer 78']
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–2 Whitehammer CS (3–2 AET)
[Catriona Roberts 59', 103', Thomas Wheatley 83'; Norman Gilbert 48', 63']
Army School 0–0 Eleanorian Academy (2–0 AET)
[Natasha Bay 99', Wafrenal Dolpalik 108']

Liberty, University College, Saint Benedict's Catholic, the Army School and Parkside Community School will be automatically entered into the third round of the 1999 Charles Trump Shield.

Semifinals
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–0 Liberty (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout, Benedict's taking first: Henry Burn (goal), Matthew Holden (crossbar), Jack Long (goal), Samantha McKenzie (goal), Catriona Roberts (goal), Adam Boucher (goal), Thomas Wheatley (goal), Angelica Northend (wide).]
University College 1–0 Army School
[Steve Wilson 19']

THE FINAL
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–3 University College ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (53,127 in attendance)
[Henry Burn 35'; Daniel Ironmonger 4', 73', Alexandra Marcus 55']

Saint Eleanor will enter University College, the winners of the 1998 Charles Trump Shield, into Cup Winners' Cup 58 and Rising Stars Cup 10. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Arielle Richardson [GK; captain; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; he/him]; 3. Charlotte Evans [RB; she/her]; 4. Parneta vePranexla [CB; he/him]; 5. Sam Bradman [CB; he/him]; 6. John Smith [CM; he/him]; 7. Daniel Ironmonger [RM; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; he/him]; 9. Steve Wilson [ST; he/him]; 10. Alexandra Marcus [ST; she/her]; 11. Francis Cornwall [LM; he/him]; 12. Stacey Watergate [CM; she/her]; 13. Simon Green [GK; he/him]; 14. Adrian Newman [CB; he/him]; 15. Raphael Mooney [LM; he/him]; 16. Beth Wright [LB; she/her]; 17. Liam Farmer [ST; he/him]; 18. Michael York [RM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Duncan Lewis [he/him].

University College will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Old Field in Collegiate district, current seated capacity 1,500. This was Sword and Shield's home ground before reconstruction work on the University Grounds was finished in 1979. Watch out for a standard-issue and corrugated but still imposing grandstand, facing a covered standing-only area reserved for the presumably-"intimidated" visitors (although the University has offered to install seats there should the IFCF require them), the car park behind the east-facing goal (which snakes around the grandstand should you be afraid of horribly-placed shots), and the well-placed outer brick walls of the Physics Department building about twenty yards behind the west-facing goal.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Denise Livingston. Captain of this year's Army School team and quite simply a very igneous rock in the centre of defence, she inspired the Young Soldiers to four consecutive clean sheets through a relatively distinct brand of harsh-but-clean tackling and an excellent sense of position. Despite being a relatively quiet and unassuming character, everybody in the School and perhaps beyond can agree that she lets her play - and, off the field, her schoolwork - do the talking. If she plays her cards right, her career can turn out to be just as fruitful as that of Independence 1975's Luke Elliott, the last centreback to win the Golden Backpack all the way back in 1985.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Mar 12, 2022 5:35 pm

Unimportant OOC legend: 99. Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS AFOREMENTIONED] [CAPTAIN] [POS; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Due to obvious constraints, any substitute players listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary - or at least may be forcibly inverted.

Edited 18-03-2022 and then 19-03 to retroactively convert Athletic's red hex from #ff0000 to #ff3535 and Olympic's white hex from #fffffe to #ffffc0, where they belong.

Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor
IFCF Regulation 3.01.2 states that "All [IFCF] matches are played in conformity with the IFAB Laws of the Game." All ninety matches in the Saint Eleanor League this season will also operate under IFAB's 2021/22 Laws, despite the in-character year. With due regard to the leeway afforded by these Laws, however:

all matches are to be played on natural turf (Law 1.1),
GLT and VAR are not in use in the Saint Eleanor League (Laws 1.11 and 5.4),
referees are accompanied by two assistant referees, two reserve ARs and a fourth official only; if the referee is unable to continue their duties, they are replaced by the fourth official, who is in turn replaced by a reserve AR; if an AR cannot continue, they are replaced by a reserve AR (Law 6),
seven substitutes may be named, of which no more than three may be used (Law 3.2),
half time lasts for fifteen minutes (Law 7.2), and
if a match at a given venue is abandoned at any stage, the remainder of the match will be played at that venue at 1pm on the day after the match was abandoned; if the conditions are unsafe at that time, at 9pm that day; if they remain unsafe, the match will be replayed at that venue (Law 7.5).

Referees in the Saint Eleanor League do not stop (or otherwise abandon, etc.) matches unless the Laws of the Game require them to, or (relatively rare) circumstances which threaten all or a substantial proportion of fans in attendance arise.

No part of this OOC note should be interpreted as affecting whatever protocols the Saint Eleanor Football Association or its member clubs may have to adhere to in IFCF competition, whether in the IFCF Competition Regulations or by induction.

Saint Eleanor League 1998 preview: Will Independence storm to yet another title, again?
Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers, looks ahead to this season's SEL - what could be a bright spot amid murky international waters
Originally published on Sunday 25th January 1998

Did you know that...

SEFA requires all SEL away kits to be all-white and all SEL goalkeeper kits to be all-green?*
*although Golden Unicorn wears all-black away from home and Army and Navy wear all-grey goalkeeper kits

Liam West's first column for SESB, from two years ago, is already inaccurate?

Julia Atherton and Gentle Breeze have something in common... at least on paper? Anything for good PR.

Nova Aegis wear pink because that was the only dye they could find at the time?

There haven't been any doughnuts at the SESB Sport office since this morning?

I'm too bloody tired to do this? My contract says I only have to work until 8pm on weekends!

Expect the unexpected... or don't. While this season of the Saint Eleanor League promises to be one of the most exciting yet, it can be rightly argued that Saint Eleanor's horrid performances in recent World Cup Qualifiers are a harbinger of what is to come on the international stage this year. After a few rounds of hearty international competition, however, few would dispute that our club-level players will be better than ever before - at least relatively. That we have not been able to explain this does not matter.

We could say a lot here - but it must suffice to say that this year will be the biggest ever for SESB and SESB Worldwide's coverage of the Saint Eleanor League. We aim, as far as possible, to broadcast every match on Radio 3 and on either TV2 or TV3 - and where we cannot do this, our website will carry reports and analysis from every game and every club this year. Whether you want to celebrate Christmas by seeing your team win the league, look competitive, try to be competitive, or come within less than three games of qualifying for the Challengers' Cup group stage, we have you covered.

There isn't going to be one story this season. There will be ten - or, dare we say it, a couple of hundred - and we'll try our best to introduce them as quickly as possible today. As a reminder, the starting lineups for each time go from 1 to 11 (with typical substitutes wearing 12 to 18); lineups are good for the 9th IFCF cycle; the ages given represent how old the players will be at the end of 1998; all players and managers are from

Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated; and all players whose names are underlined play for their national team. Just about everything else you could think of is, of course, up in the air. Is it?

Independence 1975 - "The Liberators" (1997: 1st; 42 points, +18 goal difference)

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. John Bailey [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. Alice Christopher [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 5. Luke Elliott [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Liam West [CAPTAIN] [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 8. James Trott [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 9. Sophie Wilton [ST; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Henry Green [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Bobby Smith [RM; 30yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dan Davis [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 26yo; she/her]; 15. Peter Owens [LM; 37yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Richard Dale [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 27yo; she/her]
Manager: Derek Pittam [62yo; he/him]: The Liberators' third and possibly least militant manager in their 23-year history still isn't a pushover, having varied team tactics around the mild end of the defensive spectrum for a few years while keeping a close - if not near-overbearing - eye on his players. Pittam has won three titles in his four years in charge and - for very good reason - wants another; don't expect him to survive for long if his lot fail to put up an early fight in the UICA.
Generally supported by: Government officials; unquestioning Government followers; the 10% of the country that lives outside Saint Eleanor city; President George Mitcham.
What to expect: Success. Indy is the nation's football club and are looking for an unprecedented fourth title in a row this year, not least another good international run. Surely it can't happen? It might: after various concerning performances in 1996, including conceding six against Juventud and four against an unremarkable Good Hope, Pittam's emphasis on a strong defence paid off remarkably last year and everybody expects it to continue.
Who to watch: The core of this squad is, by and large, very similar to the all-dominating eleven and subs of recent years: expect West to remain a powerful yet unintrusive character, Christopher and Trott to carry on creating and recycling possession from relatively deep positions, and Wilton in particular (and sometimes Dale) to zip around and take chances from almost all over the place. The most glaring exception is Winchester, an incisive reader of the game who has served excellently in the leftback slot opened by Frank Smart's retirement in 1996 and - whisper it quietly - may well become a future team captain.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic" (1997: 2nd; 40 points, +25 goal difference)

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Paul Johnson [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Sarah Jenkins [CB; 33yo; she/her]; 6. Michael Kent [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Charlie Dell [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [CAPTAIN] [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Katie O'Donnell [ST; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Fred Newton [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 13. Cameron Barry [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 15. Lauren Pell [RM; 24yo; she/her]; 16. Ryan Bacon [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Thomas Freeman [CM; 34yo; he/him]
Manager: Adam Woolley [50yo; he/him]: Although not exactly experienced - having only managed Occidental Olympic before his appointment in 1995 - Woolley is much more willing to provide "help" than his counterpart in Central district. Many of his players have spoken in some capacity or another about his seeming ability to motivate, not just exercise, them into shape... not that it's entirely gone to plan so far.
Generally supported by: Business owners; most of the middle-class people that aren't supporting Golden Unicorn already; people who prefer privately-owned pubs to National Liberation Front Clubs.
What to expect: Challenge. Athletic were two points off the pace in 1997, seven in 1996, four in 1995 after an epic collapse, and snatched the 1994 title on goal difference. Anything worse than a final-day nailbiter will not serve to boost confidence in the red camp. The upcoming international clash with Pemecutan's Pesetih Titih will prove challenging, too, but you'd probably fancy this lot to go all the way and snatch a win on penalties.
Who to watch: Williams and O'Donnell - perhaps Saint Eleanor's best striker and free-kick taker respectively - are in the national team for a good reason, but are the only bona-fide stars in this admittedly attack-minded squad. Elsewhere, taFrexala has impressed as a capable, if developing, wide defender in recent months, while Tresco - by far the harsher and more conservative-minded of the midfield pairing - will try his best to avoid getting into trouble, with great success.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" (1997: 3rd; 33 points, +14 goal difference) - All players are members of the

Eleanorian Army

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [LB; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 20yo; he/him]; 4. Jennifer Smith [CM; Corporal; 27yo; she/her]; 5. Ken Wilkie [CB; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Susanna Michaels [CB; Corporal; 29yo; she/her]; 7. Evan Donald [LM; Lance-Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Matthew Carson [CM; Sergeant; 35yo; he/him]; 9. Aidan Harris [CAPTAIN] [ST; Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Angela Dixon [RM; Lance-Corporal; 30yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Jordan Ellis [GK; Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 13. Tom Wilkinson [CB; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 22yo; she/her]; 15. Eric Stone [CM; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; he/him]; 16. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 18. Rick Carter [LM; Corporal; 33yo; he/him]
Manager: Roger Elliott [52yo; General; he/him]: When Elliott was appointed before the start of the 1987 season, Army and Navy - at the time packed with young War of Independence veterans - had won three of the 12 contested Saint Eleanor Leagues. Since then, only the Invincibles of 1990 have done so, for which he was made a General. His adherence to A&N's traditions of organised, structured football has evidently not won much since them, but it has won respect from his players and fans. He should, however, be warned that while the Army has seemingly infinite patience, they do not have infinite time or resources.
Generally supported by: Members of the Eleanorian military, serving and retired; people who like defensively-minded football done right.
What to expect: Discipline. Army and Navy might not have Amanda Thorpe - and don't recruit beyond the Eleanorian Army anyway - but they do have two national team starters among eighteen players who have no choice but to work as a unit, on and off the pitch. Pencil this lot in for a repeat of 1997's accomplishments.
Who to watch: Discharge can be sought from the Army after 25 years of service, falling to 15 if you play for Army and Navy - and although Cpl Harris (the strong yet sadly underperforming forward) and Sgt Carson (the iconic all-rounder and Harris' vice-captain) are on the precipice of a well-earned retirement, they can still squeeze their potential out over the next few seasons. Pte Bone - excellent in the Soldiers' three IFCF ties and on good form in the league - has proven, and will continue to prove, a worthy long-term replacement for Bryant.

Sword and Shield - "The Collegiates" (1997: 4th; 27 points, +1 goal difference)

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Will Francis [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 2. Luke Gregory [LB; 35yo; he/him]; 3. Paul Ferry [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 6. Kevin Hand [CM; 35yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Alex Rounds [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 9. Stanley Longley [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 28yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [CAPTAIN] [RM; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. John Parkinson [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Christine Terrence [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 26yo; she/her]; 16. Ivan Brown [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 17. Jon Levitt [RM; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Dan Brook [ST; 26yo; he/him]
Manager: Abraham Straw [48yo; he/him]: Eyes will roll. Straw, a professed "lifelong Buckhead kid" who attended the Polytechnic, and even served as Paul Dennis's assistant in 1991 and 1992, landed the top job at their somewhat-dreaded rivals just before Christmas 1996, after his sacking by Golden Unicorn - a similarly affluent but far more underachieving club. He is expected to continue his brand of free-flowing yet system-focused management to the Collegiates; whether it will prove successful is yet to be seen.
Generally supported by: Students at the University; people who write diatribes about "anti-football;" people who think that Premium Coffee would be better named Discount Coffee.
What to expect: Better. A team with so much heritage and a sizable national-team contingent should not have been finishing one point above the bottom half of the table last year, never mind in sixth two years ago. Although few believe that Straw is a famous character, he doesn't need to be - Sword and Shield's strength in the wide positions should at least be capable of seeing them through to the Challengers' Cup.
Who to watch: Once a talented schools footballer, Parkinson has become gradually more error-prone and will likely find himself on the bench in most games; look for Roanoke to make an impact on the flanks instead, alongside the ever-reliable Martin. Although Longley is Straw's preferred striker, Gordon will sometimes join him in attack if needs must or wants feel like it. And nominally a midfielder who will spend most of this season on the substitutes' bench, Terrence will - if needs must - likely double up as an emergency centreback, much like her idol Alex Martins of Grand Beach.

Occidental Olympic - "The Westerners" (1997: 5th; 26 points, +2 goal difference)

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 2. Andy Packer [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 3. Exandra Davies [RB; 24yo; she/her]; 4. Scarlett Gilbert [CB; 30yo; she/her]; 5. Mike Derry [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Bridget Coombe [CDM; 23yo; she/her]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 9. Adam Denby [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [CAM; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. John McDonald [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Barker [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Shaun Trellis [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 16. Laetitia Bryant [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 25yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Manager: Fetakela Manuta [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [43yo; he/him]: A goalscoring midfielder (not in the Jensenian sense) in his playing days, the Sochean and adoptive Tinhamptonian has tried to steer the Westerners since 1993. Despite his preference for a neutral, pragmatic style, he has deployed a more attacking strategy during Saint Eleanor's era of IFCF participation out of fear of a player revolt, and may well push further this year.
Generally supported by: Hipsters living in Parkside; people who complain about hipsters living in Parkside; Vice-President Charlotte Morgan.
What to expect: Mediocrity. Too often the "best of the rest," that reputation was consolidated as 1997 was the second year in a row that Olympic missed out on the Challengers' Cup by one point; this year's campaign may be just as agonising, if not more tragic, unless the ongoing dressing room rifts - arguably even worse than those hovering over the national team - are somehow resolved. Any wrong steps about the long-term future of the Westerners' football philosophy could well lead to much of its squad walking out at the next transfer window.
Who to watch: Olympic's front "three" of Pilchard, Denby and weMexala were slightly off-colour in 1997, with their club scoring fewer goals than any of the IFCF qualifiers last year, but look for them to work together and fire on more cylinders this time around, with the immobile Gladom Newion receiving support from her two more energetic teammates. Davies, who befriended much of the Good Hope Club in her days there, has lost none of her sheen, colour - or quality - with her move to the other end of Saint Eleanor's old industrial corridor.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" (1997: 6th; 26 points, +1 goal difference)

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 41yo; she/her]; 2. Will Edgebrook [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 29yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 22yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Patrick Budd [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 11. Tim Brandon [RM; 22yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Gavin Parson [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CB; 29yo; she/her]; 15. Norman Pratt [LB; 34yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 26yo; she/her]; 17. Sara Halbrook [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 18. Robert Williams [CM; 25yo; he/him]
Manager: Adam Salt [53yo; he/him]: Often expected to finish seventh in most years and widely believed to be among the less desirable, more defensive outfits in the league, Grand Beach has been regularly contending for the top four since Salt's appointment in 1990. Many argue that he has been blessed by a combination of improving youth infrastructure, newly non-terrible public relations and generous funding from fried chicken tycoon Gregory Willis; of course, he says it's all down to how he expects the best from his players every game.
Generally supported by: People living in and around Grand Beach; many Tinhamptonian expats (in large thanks to Atherton).
What to expect: Aspiration. The northerners in orange were unlucky not to make it past their first Challengers' Cup tie against Galatica last year; more so to miss out on qualification again. Salt's Grand Beach are fiercely competitive, however, and will go as far as they think looks good to get into relatively advantageous positions and keep them, possibly more than anyone else. Expect more of the same, or even more, full stop.
Who to watch: Atherton is the most recognisable player in the team, and arguably behind only West, Williams, O'Donnell and Pilchard in the entire league; her presence in the penalty area is commanding to admirers, intimidating to sceptics, acknowledged by everyone, and - even if a top four spot does beckon this time - will be missed once the final whistle blows on the season. Yet Grand Beach also has plenty of good young players who have acquitted themselves in Saint Eleanor's IFCF era: think Newbridge, Harris, Brandon, ad nauseam. Rachel McNamara has possibly the most boring name in the Saint Eleanor League; expect her to be outshone by Budd for a while.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" (1997: 7th; 21 points, -3 goal difference)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Georgia Wood [CAPTAIN] [GK; 25yo; she/her]; 2. Amanda Thorpe [LB; 36yo; she/her]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. Matt Shilling [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 7. Owen Prentice [RM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 10. Caitlynn Jones [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 11. Melcheta Pazorzal [ST; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Susie Furlong [CB; 28yo; she/her]; 15. Diana Ellison [RB; 29yo; she/her]; 16. Lee Molton [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 23yo; he/him]; 18. Jack Markham [ST; 28yo; he/him]
Manager: Ian Jones [55yo; he/him]: Tinhampton's player-manager between the 77th and 81st World Cups - and then assistant manager until the Miners bowed out of international football two cycles later - Jones was drafted in by the Unicorn's board shortly after the end of a torrid 1996 season. Despite his experience, he takes charge of a team with a slightly more attacking approach than he's used to - and will face the wrath of everybody involved with the club if he fails to bring the squad out of the basement.
Generally supported by: Northern Saint Eleanor's affluent middle-class; the Tinhamptonian expats that don't like Julia Atherton; people who follow literally any sport other than football; people who actually follow football, but only for aesthetic reasons.
What to expect: Performances. The Unicorn were mediocre at best during Jones' debut, being one of only two teams to lose to Juventud and otherwise having the worst second-half record of anybody. They are able, and must be willing, to improve - especially if they are to keep their reputation from the 1980s as a club with plenty of middle-class support and honorary Big Four membership.
Who to watch: In theory, this squad is about as exciting as any of the faithful could have expected. Francis, fresh off the Polytechnic, is harsh but mostly fair; Caitlynn Jones' spark finally started coming to life last season; Pazorzal is expected to remain the Unicorn's main man up front, with some help from Crawshaw; Wood is still exceptionally unremarkable. Thorpe - the last amateur standing in the League - works at the Torch burger restaurant down the road and has been praised by their manager for "her quick responses, attention to detail and commitment;" expect all of that to shine through here, too.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" (1997: 8th; 16 points, -15 goal difference)

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-5-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 2. Joe Folsom [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. Dennis Jonas [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 5. Anthony York [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 27yo; she/her]; 7. Falareta Wesevta [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 26yo; she/her]; 10. Peter Simpson [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Jack Smith [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 13. Daniel Jenkins [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Mary Kirkport [CB; 37yo; she/her]; 15. Kieran Gardner [RM; 28yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 17. Eric Morrison [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Manager: Millie Carter [41yo; she/her]: Carter has won some praise for her supportive, open-doors approach to Trident Community School - where fourteen of this team's eighteen players studied - and has led her home district's club to eighth place over the past two years, having broken clear of one-time fellow strugglers Nova Aegis. Despite that, she largely remains an unknown quantity, to the extent that she is known to try and keep press conferences as short as possible.
Generally supported by: People living in south-eastern Saint Eleanor; people who take quizzes on the internet about which Eleanorian club they should support; confuzzled holidaymakers.
What to expect: Danger. Last year's Seasiders - like most of the ones before them - were nowhere near here and just a handful of fractions above there; this may be a squad in transition, but the switch really should be nearing its end by this point. We'd fancy this lot to stay clear of Nova Aegis again and try their best to top last season, which shouldn't be too much to ask for - and serious questions will be asked if they don't.
Who to watch: Most clubs' defences are worth watching because they're good. Good Hope's is worth watching because it isn't, having been hit hard by Exandra Davies' departure last year. Her presence is still somehow felt throughout the squad, however: Walter has had a season to fill her place and should hopefully improve on 1997, as should goalkeeper Hannah Downing; Davies' girlfriend, Bryant, will continue to link Jack Smith to the backline. Kirkport, meanwhile, will continue to offer moral support from the bench as she has every year since she missed the 1992 season through... injury.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" (1997: 9th; 14 points, -20 goal difference)

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stephen Wright [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Collins [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 28yo; she/her]; 4. Coluseris Dalousol [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Davina Salt [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [CB; 35yo; she/her]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 7. Greg Mallett [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Anne Hoar [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 11. Ronald Silliman [ST; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 13. Tracy Greenport [LB; 32yo; she/her]; 14. Pete Dervish [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 15. Susie Macintyre [LM; 27yo; she/her]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 17. David Lenham [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 26yo; she/her]
Manager: Cameron Jack [44yo; he/him]: An iconic Pink Falcon and a War of Independence veteran, Jack takes over from Nathaniel Murphy, who resigned in his first season after inventing unsubstantiated claims about the flu vaccine following Mickey Jones' death. He is expected to continue Murphy's focus on "ensuring that our back four aren't crap."
Generally supported by: Residents of Bramblewood and the surrounding area; people who work for a sub-minimum wage; people who don't want a job, full stop.
What to expect: Ninth. Despite the stereotypes, Bramblewood's deprivation has never translated into spades of quality players. Lucas' tactical acumen will be the key factor this season, but don't expect him to be sacked unless his team finishes behind Juventud again. Nobody expects anything less... but this being Nova Aegis, nobody expects anything more either.
Who to watch: If Nova Aegis' overwhelmingly blue-collar fanbase is getting its money's worth, it isn't at the wrong end: their defence has been at their best for a few years in no small part thanks to Jack's remarkable capture of Bryant from Army and Navy, adding to a solid but below-average unit. Expect George Guest, all of 6'1'' and with the club since 1984, to try his best to rack up the goals too, with as much help as Greg Mallett and Stephen Jones want to give him.

Juventud - "The Young" (1997: 10th; 8 points, -23 goal difference)

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Naveral gaBexpara [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Lucy Miller [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 4. Anna Butcher [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 5. Dave Easton [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 6. Joey Roberts [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. Pialanesa Verlanta [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Mark Yates [CAPTAIN] [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Tim Hart [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 10. Keith Parker [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Stella Boldman [RM; 20yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Michelle Grant [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Zack Renton [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Filaroma kaMorazela [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Josh Samuels [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Wallace Hunter [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Daisy Woodley [LM; 19yo; she/her]; 18. Ella Holmes [ST; 20yo; she/her]
Manager: Paul Dennis [60yo; he/him]: A long-time professor of sports science at the Polytechnic (as well as the Young's manager since their inception two decades ago), Dennis can boast of a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their end-of-year university exams, and sometimes good enough to carry on playing football. This alleged expertise has not stopped his beloved club from never finishing above sixth.
Generally supported by: Students at the Polytechnic; bored scouts.
What to expect: Little. The Polytechnic's official football team - arguably modelled off Tinhampton's Vertos United, even in their pre-Megaleague days - has had most of its "golden" generation come and go. Dennis, who must make do with a team stacked with fresh-faced 19-year-olds, can do nothing but hope that they will try their best.
Who to watch: Almost by definition, Juventud is stacked with young prospects almost as much as it is stacked with burnout risks. Judging from last season (which is admittedly a risky assumption) and in context (even riskier), Fulton, Yates, Boldman and Parker are hot; Verlanta, Roberts, and gaBexpara are not. The substitutes will invariably vanish into the aether to work as PE teachers, supermarket cashiers or taxi drivers.

List of Saint Eleanor League winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 6
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 2:57 pm

OOC: This post contains descriptions of the various IFCF matches that Saint Eleanor's clubs played in, including scorecards. I've cleared the info about the ties involving Tumbran and Yue clubs with the respective players but - if Pemecutan, The Sarian or VilTur disagree with any part of my narratives - they're always welcome to get in touch to that effect; I promise I'll see what I can retcon

Matchday 1
Nova Aegis 0–1 Army and Navy
Occidental Olympic 1–2 Sword and Shield
Juventud 0–1 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 0–1 Good Hope Club
Grand Beach 0–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Matchday 2
Army and Navy 0–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Good Hope Club 0–2 Grand Beach
Independence 1975 2–1 Golden Unicorn
Sword and Shield 2–1 Juventud
Nova Aegis 2–5 Occidental Olympic

Matchday 3
Occidental Olympic 2–1 Army and Navy
Juventud 1–0 Nova Aegis
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Sword and Shield
Grand Beach 1–0 Independence 1975
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Good Hope Club

Matchday 4
Army and Navy 3–0 Good Hope Club
Independence 1975 1–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Sword and Shield 4–0 Grand Beach
Nova Aegis 2–2 Golden Unicorn
Occidental Olympic 3–1 Juventud

Matchday 5
Juventud 1–3 Army and Navy
Golden Unicorn 1–0 Occidental Olympic
Grand Beach 1–0 Nova Aegis
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2–0 Sword and Shield
Good Hope Club 0–0 Independence 1975

Matchday 6
Army and Navy 0–1 Independence 1975
Sword and Shield 4–2 Good Hope Club
Nova Aegis 2–6 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Occidental Olympic 3–1 Grand Beach
Juventud 0–3 Golden Unicorn

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor              6    5   1   0    18    4  +14    16
 2 Sword and Shield                    6    4   1   1    13    7   +6    13
 3 Occidental Olympic                  6    4   0   2    14    8   +6    12
 4 Independence 1975                   6    3   1   2     5    6   −1    10
 5 Grand Beach                         6    3   1   2     5    7   −2    10
 6 Army and Navy                       6    3   0   3     8    7   +1     9
 7 Golden Unicorn                      6    2   2   2     8    6   +2     8
 8 Good Hope Club                      6    1   1   4     4   12   −8     4
 9 Juventud                            6    1   0   5     4   12   −8     3
10 Nova Aegis                          6    0   1   5     6   16  −10     1

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 1 of SEL 1998
As carefully analysed by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 21st February 1998

We're bored already. On a good day, Maddie Gordon can be a neat playmaker. On a really good day, she can turn into a surprisingly convincing false nine - which isn't supposed to be her job, especially not in a 4-3-3. Yet that is exactly what she became twenty-four minutes into Sword and Shield's league opener against Occidental Olympic: Stanley Longley, the beneficiary of a good passing chain, kept it going by teeing the ball off to her and having it one-twoed back to him. Standing there for about a second, he slid the ball just past Olympic's Scarlett Gilbert to Gordon, who rounded Neil Rourke for an easy strike. The most astonishing thing about it all? It was the first goal of the season. Only five more goals were scored in this afternoon's ties, ranging from a mundane penalty rebound by Matthew Carson to what was supposed to be yet another woefully overcooked Charlotte Bryant lob from twenty-five yards out. There were more in the final twenty minutes of the 1997 season. Nobody was injured. Nobody was sent off. Nobody was singing any vulgar chants, except perhaps in the usual corners of the Workers' Coliseum. And yes, nobody was making any overly bombastic statements at the press conferences - not even Exandra Davies.
Only the kids are alright. Independence 1975 started this most historic of title defences against Juventud, the football team of the Polytechnic - but not the Juventud of 1994-1996 that seriously believed they could sweep all before them. This was a nearly-new, slightly less impressive Juventud, now swarming only with players who used to be considered okay at secondary school. Many of the debutants did an excellent job: Anna Butcher was good dropping in deep but lucky not to get booked for apparently flooring Alice Christopher after half an hour, while Tim Hart somehow had the best chance of the entire first half, forcing John Bailey to flap his powerful effort out of play for a (much less successful) corner. The veterans were good, too, with Pialanesa Verlanta swooping in for a couple of good crosses and Dave Easton successfully keeping Sophie Wilton at bay. And arguably the visitors' best player was 19-year-old Cathy Winchester, who found Stella Boldman to be more than her equal and set up an promising cross-field pass for Bobby Smith - which he most certainly shouldn't have mishandled out of play for a Juventud throw. In the end, it was Henry Green, driving from the inside of the Juventud box, that saved the Liberators' bacon... but he should have graduated from university five years ago.
Some of our clubs have tumbled out of the IFCF. Two of Saint Eleanor's four teams in international competition this year inaugurated their season against Tumbran clubs; both of them, perhaps unsurprisingly, failed. The more notable club, Athletic Saint Eleanor, were lucky to get away with a 1-1 draw at Northwest Road against Serrapince FC, down to ten after an ill-fated attempt to get Philip Coal some match fitness and then struggling to respond to Hermaeus Mora's wakeup call for an hour before Michael Kent nabbed a late equaliser off a corner. The men (and women) in red may have deserved victory on their travels, having struck first through Katie O'Donnell and restoring their lead through Fred Newton, but young Nick Riordan fervently disagreed as he promptly whacked the first equaliser home, stroked the second past an utterly confused Stuart Norton, and - clear through on goal for the hat-trick - moved the ball into wide-open space to let George Hilton consign Athletic to a dramatic elimination instead. As for the other team...
Army and Navy are not good. They are quite simply, obviously, positively and almost inexplicably awful - impressive for a side that has exactly the same roster as it did last year, when they were actually okay. They didn't even get their reserve left-back sent off, although Elizabeth Newman would have had much more of a struggle against Lakewood United's frontline; in reality, Philip Cohen notched a hattrick, big-money signing Anna Korniloff-Kouyaté also found the net and even substitute Sean Cushing felt the need to pile on. That the second-leg ended 1-1 is testament to nothing other than the fact that the Soldiers, once again out-everythinged, actually pretended to have a plan that wasn't "act like you're playing against a really good version of Athletic Saint Eleanor." There was no more joy in the League as they just about got the only goal of the game against a typically poor Nova Aegis, managing seven shots, only Carson's penalty miss and subsequent goal on target - horrible prolifigacy for a traditionally defensive and efficient outfit - and failing to land multiple passes that a not-to-scale cardboard cutout of Kaia Larriet-Cortes could have pulled off. Never mind the solution; you'd have to imagine there's a problem somewhere in particular.
It's only 50% doom and gloom. Sword and Shield had a better introduction at this year's Challengers' Cup after sealing two 2-1 wins against Pesetih Titih. Gede Putra Arimbawa gave the Pemecutanians the lead in Saint Eleanor, but Jessica Martin's well-angled strike was followed by a surprise first-touch finish by Gordon to flip the script from the off. The Collegiates seemed to enjoy their travels, too: they doubled their aggregate lead after Martin's first-half free-kick was headed in by Kevin Hand and - despite Pemecutan national team star Bayu Hermawan giving them a late scare - substitute Dan Brook netted in the 88th minute to book his side a ticket to the Lonngeylin Coast of Vilita, with Elias Hammer and Stanley Longley both living up to their names. Oil-rich Independence 1975 also made it out of the Champions' League first qualifying round at the expense of surprise Yue Super! League holders SC Jiangdong; Sophie Wilton hammered home twice at the Nat Lib and, although the trip to Rushmore could have gone either way, it was Indy's David Newcastle who drew first blood, rendering Ma Jiabo's leveller no more than a consolation. Unlike last year, they have one foot in that competition's third qualifying round, leading 2-1 against The Sarian's CF Bondstad with the second leg to be played.

IFCF Challengers' Cup, first qualifying round, first two legs (in order)

Athletic Saint Eleanor 1 (Philip Coal red card 14', Michael Kent goal 80')
Serrapince FC 1 (Hermaeus Mora goal 22')

Serrapince FC 3 (Nick Riordan goals 35' and 76', George Hilton goal 90+1')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2 (Katie O'Donnell goal 31', Fred Newton goal 60')

Sword and Shield 2 (Jessica Martin goal 38', Maddie Gordon goal 71')
Pesetih Titih 1 (Gede Putra Arimbawa goal 17')

Pesetih Titih 1 (Bayu Hermawan goal 82')
Sword and Shield 2 (Kevin Hand goal 34', Dan Brook goal 88')

Army and Navy 0
Lakewood United 5 (Philip Cohen goals 11', 38' and 65', Anna Korniloff-Kouyaté goal 61', Sean Cushing goal 72')

Lakewood United 1 (Ian McDermott goal 68')
Army and Navy 1 (Aidan Harris goal 32')

The following clubs progress to the second qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup: Serrapince FC, 4-3 on aggregate; Sword and Shield, 4-2 on aggregate; Lakewood United, 6-1 on aggregate.

IFCF Champions' League, first qualifying round, first two legs (in order)

Independence 1975 2 (Sophie Wilton goals 4' and 37')
SC Jiangdong 0

SC Jiangdong 1 (Ma Jiabo goal 67')
Independence 1975 1 (David Newcastle goal 43')

Independence 1975 wins 3-1 on aggregate and progresses to the second qualifying round of the IFCF Champions' League

IFCF Challengers' Cup, second qualifying round, first leg

Lonngeylin Coast 1 (Elias Hammer goal 35')
Sword and Shield 1 (Stanley Longley goal 54')

IFCF Champions' League, second qualifying round, first leg

Independence 1975 2 (James Trott goal 79' [pen], Keira Monaghan goal 83')
CF Bondstad 1 (Maeri Beniut goal 46')

Saint Eleanor League, round one

Nova Aegis 0
Army and Navy 1 (Matthew Carson missed penalty 51', Matthew Carson goal 51')

Occidental Olympic 1 (Adam Denby goal 71')
Sword and Shield 2 (Maddie Gordon goal 25', Evan Kilkenny goal 63')

Juventud 0
Independence 1975 1 (Henry Green goal 57')

Golden Unicorn 0
Good Hope Club 1 (Charlotte Bryant goal 45+2')

Grand Beach 0
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 2 of SEL 1998
As semi-diligently reviewed by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 28th February 1998

The Coastal Derby is as fun as we expected it to be. After last Saturday's drudgery, what we all needed was Laura Brown shouldering Patrick Budd at the first corner of one of the most distant yet fiercely-contested games in the Saint Eleanor League, Good Hope against Grand Beach. Brown promptly got herself a red card: not bad for a wannabe central midfielder. Mind you, the real one did no better, with Alex Martins thwomping her penalty so far over the bar that it is probably in orbit somewhere over Ko-oren. Then Bryant set up Daltrey for a nice, angled effort that was always doomed to make the post sing and Budd retaliated by evading the surviving Seasider defenders and finding the top corner - all this after twenty minutes! The next hour or so was, for the most part, classic Grand Beach, Martins being pushed back in a fairly successful attempt to stop Good Hope from scoring (despite Jack Brown's apparent equaliser being marginally offside), before Westwood successfully connected with a free kick awarded after Tony York brought down Rachel McNamara in what could have been one of the Dolphins' few bona-fide open-play chances... not bad for a real central midfielder.
One of these results is not like the other. Sword and Shield's 2-1 victory over Juventud was actually a far cry from the corresponding result against Olympic. That was confident, assured, smooth, perhaps a touch unlucky; this was, laconically, crap. The tie was 0-0 at half time, characterised by a clear Christina Fulton attempt to deny Jessica Martin a much-needed goalscoring opportunity that should have gotten her more than a yellow card (and a low-quality effort, as expected by now, from Pialanesa Verlanta), itself a massive accomplishment for the Young. Stanley Longley made mincemeat of their defence to put his side up a goal after play restarted, but Verlanta's substitute Daisy Woodley caught Will Francis and his backline by surprise as she rocked up in the penalty box to volley in an equaliser, with a bit of help from Mark Yates. Juventud could well have won this tie against the closest thing they have to rivals (the visitors being the Polytechnic's team and the hosts having been run by the University itself until its Board of Trustees took over in 1986), with Woodley again miscuing and firing her second serious chance well over the bar and Hart shooting past Francis and only being denied by a well-placed Paul Ferry, but the day belonged to the Collegiates in the end as Maddie Gordon lodged a surprising shot on just about the right side of the post.
Nova Aegis still aren't any good. Yet they rather incredibly took the lead against Occidental Olympic, thanks to George Guest's superb strike landing on the right end of the side netting with twenty minutes played. And even if this didn't last for long, Adam Denby whacked two near-identical goals in similar open play situations to leave them one down at the break. Struggling for efforts against an improving Parksider defence, Amelia Lane restored that state of affairs midway through the first half, her response to a goalmouth scramble cancelling out Steve Pilchard's effort from just outside the penalty area. It appeared that it would remain that way until full time, with a couple of good efforts from the visitors going astray - but Denby completed his hattrick by volleying Samuel Small's lofted effort into the net with almost five minutes to go, and Bridget Coombe split the opposing defence in short order with a through ball that Pilchard readily attended to. All of this begs the two questions that many ask of the Pink Falcons every other week, even when they're not losing 5-2: How and why?
We think it's all over. Neither of the Eleanorian survivors in international competition were particularly impressive. Sword and Shield, having seemingly forgotten that the IFCF has completely lost all interest in counting away goals double whatsoever, were surprisingly content to hold onto the ball for unnecessarily long periods - a practice known to Abraham Straw as possession football and to everyone else as timewasting. This helped them very little, perhaps negatively, as Dilon Bánach capitalised on a poor mistake by a roaming Luke Gregory early in the second half to give Lonngeylin Coast the only goal of the game and a passport to the Challengers' Cup third qualifying round. At least they tried; Independence 1975 capitulated, rapidly wasting a one-goal lead as Beniut again and Pieter Jong helped CF Bondstad draw level before Luke Elliott scored what will perhaps be the most embarrassing own goal of his career, after a corner inadvertently bobbled off his head past John Bailey.
Independence 1975 is struggling harder than expected. Trying to move on from their earlier heartbreak in The Sarian, Indy returned home expecting to at least seal a handy victory against a well-meaning but mediocre Golden Unicorn. They didn't. Having tried to give her team a shock lead against the Liberators, Caitlynn Jones finally delivered six minutes after play restarted after benefitting from a series of passes between her, Natalie Monaco, and (to a lesser extent) Matt Shilling. Desperate for a response, Derek Pittam dragged an underwhelming Sophie Wilton off the field in favour of Richard Dale, whose weaker right foot helped even things up just half a minute after his arrival. Dale demonstrated why he should have been called upon for the recent IFCF tie within less than ten minutes, cheekily lofting a pass within the eighteen-yard box to strike partner Henry Green, who seemed pleased to gobble the chance up. Both teams had good chances after that, Dale's quest to double his account faltering as he put a nice opportunity wide of the mark and Melcheta Pazorzal testing John Bailey from twenty yards out to no avail, but Golden Unicorn were on balance the better team today and will no doubt come away from this clash happier.

IFCF Challengers' Cup, second qualifying round, second leg

Sword and Shield 0
Lonngeylin Coast 1 (Dilon Bánach goal 50')

Lonngeylin Coast wins 2-1 on aggregate and progresses to the third qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup

IFCF Champions' League, second qualifying round, second leg

CF Bondstad 3 (Pieter Jong goal 38', Maeri Beniut goal 66', Luke Elliott own goal 73')
Independence 1975 1 (Henry Green goal 33')

CF Bondstad wins 4-3 on aggregate and progresses to the third qualifying round of the IFCF Champions' League

Saint Eleanor League, round two

Army and Navy 0
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3 (Katie O'Donnell goals 3' and 39', Michael Kent goal 24')

Good Hope Club 0 (Laura Brown red card 7')
Grand Beach 2 (Alex Martins missed penalty 9', Patrick Budd goal 18', Douglas Westwood goal 76')

Independence 1975 2 (Richard Dale goal 64', Henry Green goal 72')
Golden Unicorn 1 (Caitlynn Jones goal 52')

Sword and Shield 2 (Stanley Longley goal 54', Maddie Gordon goal 82')
Juventud 1 (Daisy Woodley goal 59')

Nova Aegis 2 (George Guest goal 19', Amelia Lane goal 69')
Occidental Olympic 5 (Adam Denby goals 24', 45' and 84', Steve Pilchard goals 62' and 86')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 3 of SEL 1998
As pertinently promulgated by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 21st March 1998

Most of Independence 1975's players probably need a cup of coffee... or three. With the latest set of IFCF ties - in our case, the Challengers' Cup third qualifying round - compressed into a week to fit in the World Cup qualifiers and domestic leagues, no wonder. Indy never hit their stride against Marine Coast United, one of the best one-hundred teams in the world: despite Alice Christopher getting them off to a good start in Vilita, the hosts fought back through Fishtii Blikala to finish the game level and should have won outright. Although Blikala stuffed the net in similar fashion at the National Liberation Arena, their team's shot-happiness almost got the better of them in this leg, Equestrian strike partner Celestia Blitz spurning back-to-back opportunities a few minutes later before Bobby Smith inadvertently chested in a leveller in a late, tight goalline situation; while extra time was neither deserved not very exciting, the penalty shootout was marginally better. There were few misgivings in its main stage beyond Trevor Marley firing directly at Jam'Aan Couch and Clarissa Ephraim-Garza smashing her effort well over the bar, before Fyin Miateal converted and Cathy Winchester just didn't...
Cathy Winchester in particular definitely needs an energising shot of caramel syrup with her java. It's the third qualifying round of the Challengers' Cup, we're halfway through the sixth set of penalties in the shootout, you're fighting to keep your club - your country - in international competition for another year... and you're a nineteen-year-old with one, admittedly title-winning season of professional experience. So it proved as Winchester's effort skimmed off the left-hand post and out of play to eliminate Independence 1975 from the IFCF. Even Marley, lacklustre in recent years though he may have been, at least kept his effort on target; this woman is supposed to be the future of Independence. Despite her commendable workrate two weeks ago, Derek Pittam appeared to learn no lessons from that moment of defining heartbreak as he called up Winchester in the League again today, where she was repeatedly bested by Grand Beach's Tim Brandon. Most egregiously, she shoulder-barged the Dolphins winger as he was looking to set off what could have been one of the best crossing opportunities of the game, earning her a booking and winning him a free kick which sailed into the box for Patrick Budd to volley away at the far post. Perhaps she could talk to her parents, high-rolling estate agent Paul and "nondescript housewife" Johanna (not my words), about sizing things up and getting the best value from each situation.
We probably should have naturalised Julia Atherton. The Cup of Harmony winner was actually offered the chance to represent Saint Eleanor in its earliest international days, but declined. Too old? Conflict of interest? No matter: the White Stars certainly could have done with her services against the teams they've played against over the past year; the Seasiders definitely valued them against Independence 1975. After Patrick Budd struck near the hour mark - and even before then - Atherton was there to stop no less than nine excellent efforts from just about any Independence player beyond the back four you can name (not to mention the five that went off-target). Even Cathy Winchester, fullback by trade, had a go with a free kick from some distance out, but that was easier said than done. There were plenty of other good performances between the sticks this weekend - Naveral gaBexpara was surprisingly good at fending off diverse efforts from Nova Aegis, the closest thing Juventud has to a punching bag, while the Unicorn's Georgia Wood showed why she deserves to be part of the national team set up but was let down by a mediocre back four and a late moment of magic from Maddie Gordon - but they didn't come against possibly the best team in the Saint Eleanor League's history.
It's getting tight at the bottom. To quote or misquote a certain Brenecian, Juventud and Nova Aegis are well and truly the DREGS DREGS DREGS DREGS of Eleanorian football, and they faced off in the 6,000-seater Polytechnic Sports Centre today. It was as horrible as anybody could have expected it to be, with many lofted efforts failing to find their target - even George Guest - and a few promising ground passes intercepted by any one of Dave Easton, Joey Roberts, or (for no apparent reason) Chris Collins. In the end, Tim Hart proved the difference, with the first-year biology student looping the ball over Stephen Wright early in the second half in one of only five shots on target all game, the other four being a speculative twentieth-minute effort by Anne Hoar that took a massive deflection and would never have gone in even under normal circumstances, two decent efforts by Ronald Silliman that were parried wide of the post and just over the bar respectively, and a George Guest header that proved an easy catch for gaBexpara. Before Hart's classmates get too excited, the youngsters from the Poly only managed a single clean sheet in 1997... which came against Nova Aegis.
Sword and Shield are convincing precisely nobody. After the narrow win against Juventud and now a draw against a Golden Unicorn team that lost their first two games and can be best described as "bang average," not even the most ardent Collegiates would tip them for anything higher than third on goal difference. Skipper Jessica Martin had an excellent chance to put them ahead within ten minutes, but her effort flew across the face of the goal - and the next chance she got, Wood nudged it onto the post. Hugh Roanoke's overhit cross, Stanley Longley's ridiculously basic effort, and Alex Rounds' exhausting but unimpressive attempt won no favours over the next hour, among others. Sword and Shield then slid into big trouble with twenty minutes left as Melcheta Pazorzal zipped past a few defenders off the ball, found Sam Walcott an easy opponent when he got on it (courtesy Owen Prentice), and hit it past an unable but willing Francis to give the Unicorn the lead. Only Maddie Gordon - her again - bailed them out with a matter of minutes left on the clock, ironically her first shot on or off target. No, the fact that it was an astonishingly well-placed effort from fifteen yards out counts for nothing because it still counts as one goal.

IFCF Challengers' Cup, third qualifying round, first two legs (in order)

Marine Coast United 1 (Fishtii Blikala goal 43')
Independence 1975 1 (Alice Christopher goal 14')

Independence 1975 1 (Bobby Smith goal 90+2')
Marine Coast United 1 (Fishtii Blikala goal 57')

Penalty shootout, after extra time:
Marine Coast United 5 [Celestia Blitz GOAL, Sürgân t'Öéséné GOAL, Tobiáš Chance GOAL, Clarissa Ephraim-Garza OVER, Fishtii Blikala GOAL, Fyin Miateal GOAL]
Independence 1975 4 [James Trott GOAL, Henry Green GOAL, Trevor Marley SAVED, David Newcastle GOAL, Sophie Wilton GOAL, Cathy Winchester POST]

Marine Coast United win 5-4 on penalties after a 2-2 draw on aggregate and progress to the fourth qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup

Saint Eleanor League, round three

Occidental Olympic 2 (Mike Derry goal 36', Dekamela weMexalu goal 53')
Army and Navy 1 (Noah Chorley goal 43')

Juventud 1 (Tim Hart goal 52')
Nova Aegis 0

Golden Unicorn 1 (Melcheta Pazorzal goal 71')
Sword and Shield 1 (Maddie Gordon goal 87')

Grand Beach 1 (Patrick Budd goal 55')
Independence 1975 0

Athletic Saint Eleanor 3 (Harriet Williams goal 35', Fred Newton goal 64', Ryan Bacon goal 77')
Good Hope Club 1 (Falareta Wesevta goal 84')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 4 of SEL 1998
As hastily chucked together by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 28th March 1998

This isn't your dad's Independence 1975. They most certainly would not have lost 4-1 against Athletic Saint Eleanor. In fact, they haven't lost by three goals against Athletic since 1982 - and unlike today, they didn't have one of their wingers sent off. Yet after David Newcastle's ill-fated attempt at tracking back saw him foul Katie O'Donnell and get dismissed, Harriet Williams found it ridiculously easy to double her team's lead from the spot, adding to O'Donnell's excellent 22nd-minute half-volley. Despite Sophie Wilton pulling a goal back just past the hour mark, there was no more joy for the Liberators, who failed to get another shot on target after her goal as Athletic's star striker converted again, Bart Forrest glided past a bemused Cathy Winchester and dribbled past a few more defenders to make it four, and Sarah Jenkins almost took advantage of a corner but headed just over the bar.
On second thoughts, we probably shouldn't have naturalised Julia Atherton. After being a just-above-average player in the IFCF and struggling for form in his club's first three games, Stan Longley finally hit the right notes in the fashion you'd have expected Grand Beach to have been the most prepared for: a good, early string of passes that landed at his feet from about twelve yards out before he sleekly tapped in with his second touch. Hugh Roanoke delivered later in the first half, latching onto what could have been a failed Jessica Martin pass across the pitch and gliding a shot beneath Atherton from a tight angle, before Maddie Gordon made it 3-0 at the half from just inside the penalty area. Although Sam Newbridge, Alex Martins - and yes, Atherton - performed commendably in keeping the score there for most of the second half, they were never seriously interested in minding the gap, and Longley finally ran them over towards the end from within the penalty area's attached semicircle. The Dolphins' squeaky-clean defensive record had to come to an end some day and in some fashion. But who expected it to end today - and in this fashion?
The Soldiers are starting to look half-decent again. After a barely-deserved 1-0 win against Nova Aegis and two sorry defeats against Indy and Olympic, Army and Navy, too, were back on top of things. After thirty torrid minutes against Good Hope Club, Aidan Harris offered an otherwise fair shot that he managed to scuff into Hannah Downing's gloves, which should normally have augured in another terrible performance. But it was mercifully not to be for them, as Harris was flagrantly fouled by Dennis Jonas ten minutes later, allowing Matthew Carson to atone for his missed penalty in this season's first game. The national team starter tried to double his team's lead soon after the break as well, but it copped Joe Folsom and coasted into the net for the first own goal of the season. And Noah Chorley came in clutch fifteen minutes later as he surged halfway through opposition territory before chipping Downing so well that nobody could get to it. Charlotte Bryant's attempt from distance with minutes to go, unlike her goal against the Golden Unicorn, neither went in nor would it have made anything close to a difference.
The Unicorn should stop blowing away good opportunities. The one lesson Nova Aegis taught everybody last round is that you should just not be falling behind to Nova Aegis without a very good response. Although Worker's Coliseum favourite George Guest ploughed home a good strike well past Georgia Wood from the six-yard box, Owen Prentice's subsequent goal to put Golden Unicorn level was thoroughly unconvincing, as he rammed the first chance he got into Davina Salt's shinpads and barely connected with the second, which crossed the goalline just before Grace Bryant could stop it. There were a couple of other efforts from the tourists, but Natalie Monaco struck the post - twice - and Wayne Crawshaw didn't even pretend to find the target, and Guest made them pay again in the closing stages as he used his head to guide an Alphonse Rawlings free kick into the net. The prospect of being two points adrift at the bottom, behind the Bramblewood outfit - Wood coming up for whatever last-minute setpieces her club got being a very real possibility - was averted in stunning but dismal fashion by substitute Jack Markham, whose weak effort was pushed away but not too far. All in all, this was a sorry performance by a visiting team that quite honestly should have lost by a big margin.
Juventud has no right to take the lead against title challengers. It was a case of "as above, so below" for Occidental Olympic today. For the second time in three games, they fell behind to a far inferior team for the second time in three games, as Stella Boldman made hay of an excellently-positioned free kick that was wide enough to be central, central enough to be wide and finessed enough to be just out of Neil Rourke's reach. But for the second time in three games, the men in blue hit back thanks to Adam Denby, who landed his fifth in four with a shot that Naveral gaBexpara barely and unsuccessfully deflected with his legs. And they surged to their third win in a row as captain Sam Short made Juventud look like the fools they normally are in the second half, first rounding Lucy Miller, Joey Roberts and gaBexpara to notch a strike he didn't even have to shoot for, before connecting with a Exandra Davies corner at a far post that the Young, for want of a harsher word, neglected.

Saint Eleanor League, round four

Army and Navy 3 (Matthew Carson goal 43' [pen], Joe Folsom own goal 61', Noah Chorley goal 76')
Good Hope Club 0

Independence 1975 1 (David Newcastle red card 53', Sophie Wilton goal 65')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4 (Katie O'Donnell goals 23' and 75', Harriet Williams goal 54' [pen], Bart Forrest goal 83')

Sword and Shield 4 (Stanley Longley goals 8' and 79', Hugh Roanoke goal 34', Maddie Gordon goal 44')
Grand Beach 0

Nova Aegis 2 (George Guest goals 34' and 76')
Golden Unicorn 2 (Owen Prentice goal 37', Jack Markham goal 86')

Occidental Olympic 3 (Adam Denby goal 38', Samuel Short goals 55' and 60')
Juventud 1 (Stella Boldman goal 23')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 5 of SEL 1998
As professionally unearthed by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 5th April 1998

Things are already getting spicier. Not since 1993 have there been two red cards in a single League round - but it happened today. The action started at 4:15pm when Occidental Olympic holding midfielder Bridget Coombe became the fourth of ten players to get booked for tripping the Golden Unicorn's Caitlynn Jones. Having already been booked for what appeared to be an insignificant handball, Jones quite literally struck back by pushing Coombe, not enough to force her to the ground but enough to warrant her dismissal. It was followed up ten minutes later when Nova Aegis, already down 1-0 against Grand Beach, had Coluseris Dalousol extradited from the playing field after tackling Patrick Budd from behind. Juventud's Joey Roberts was lucky not to be number three as he injured Army and Navy's Aidan Harris late on: this would normally be a blow for the Eleanorian national team, but his failure to score in the League up to this point means that Priscilla Evans would be better off choosing Newton or Denby - and he'll return for Round 10 anyway.
Athletic Saint Eleanor have the title advantage. When Sword and Shield came to Northwest Road today, it was a clash of first against second - on goal difference - and it finished that way, too. But looking at the wide midfielders alone gives you a sense as to what happened in this game: Charlie Dell notched a good opener as he cut inside from the left and sneaked a shot past Will Francis, while Bart Forrest had a Luke Gregory who is well past his golden years with Athletic running around in circles for the 65 minutes he was on the pitch - and his substitute, the almost aptly-named Lauren Pell, swiftly rolled a neat assist along the ground to Fred Newton to make it 2-0. Meanwhile, Jess Martin has gone six games without a goal for the first time in her league career, having also failed to score against Nova Aegis on the last day of the 1997 season, and Hugh Roanoke did no better (with his only two serious crosses being easily cleared and a third going over everybody).
The Good Hope Club is still wildly variable. First they lose 3-0 against an otherwise typically unimpressive Army and Navy outfit - and now 0-0 at home to Independence? Despite the relative calibre of the teams, the Seasiders - reinvigorated by the return of captain Laura Brown - held the champions to a draw in a game that had everything except goals, red cards, injuries, good chances, really good chances, and original fan chants. Donald Hutchings becoming the ninth player of the day to be booked and Alice Christopher cannoning a stoppage-time effort off the crossbar were the only moments seriously worth writing home about.
Logan Hughes was possibly today's best player. Occidental Olympic, who have never won a title before, could have gone second today, a point behind Athletic. The fact they didn't is down to Hughes, a solid and experienced but grossly underrated defender. He headed away multiple promising corners, remained behind the wall for a well-positioned free kick in each half which were both ultimately thwarted, fed Matt Shilling a surprisingly long ball which Wayne Crawshaw really should have converted, and slid in late on to stop Adam Denby netting his sixth goal of the season. He probably would have gotten the ball clean off Coombe if he was in Jones' place, too.
There aren't five important things you need to know about Round Five. Which is ironic.

Saint Eleanor League, round five

Juventud 1 (Keith Parker goal 67')
Army and Navy 3 (Angela Dixon goal 23', Matthew Carson goal 45+3', Alan Eldridge goal 76')

Golden Unicorn 1 (Melcheta Pazorzal goal 5', Caitlynn Jones red card 56')
Occidental Olympic 0

Grand Beach 1 (Rachel McNamara goal 62')
Nova Aegis 0 (Coluseris Dalousol red card 65')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 2 (Charlie Dell goal 18', Fred Newton goal 70')
Sword and Shield 0

Good Hope Club 0
Independence 1975 0

How did Golden Unicorn's crest become so iconic?
Deputy Football Correspondent Ryan Harness investigates a question that shouldn't normally need answering - but does
Originally published on Monday 7th April 1998

Many Tinhamptonians follow the Golden Unicorn for a very sensible reason: they are managed by Ian Jones, who was the Miners' first captain and served as their assistant manager during their charge to victory at the 73rd Cup of Harmony. A few Eleanorians might have followed them with interest recently after their 1-0 win against a previously high-flying Occidental Olympic with multiple national team members in its ranks. And others may well have been enchanted by their shock league title in 1987 - the only club outside of the traditional Big Four ever to do so. But otherwise, most confused observers have focused on Dignity Cross for a completely different reason - a reason that a rushed student scribbled down in the weeks after the war ended.

None of the ten crests adopted by Saint Eleanor's professional teams have substantially changed since 1983, when the background of Grand Beach's crest turned from a bicolour to a gradient. Before that, you have to look to 1977, when the word "Athletic" was superimposed atop the white star on Athletic Saint Eleanor's badge. However, our story starts on August 26th 1975, days before a trial football season was set to begin, when a group of students at the University of Saint Eleanor who hailed from Brightway district founded Golden Unicorn Football Club, the eighth and last applicants (Juventud and the Good Hope Club would join later).

In desperate need of a crest to be included on their kit before their first match, but - unlike the government, business owners, army and University - unable to afford anyone even vaguely resembling a professional artist, the Unicorn co-founders met the following evening. David Brook (no relation to Dan) suggested that a drawing of a unicorn be the main element of the badge when the matter was brought up; in response, Lawrence Casey grabbed a piece of toilet paper and a pencil, drew a diagonal line with a small circle approaching one end and two other straight lines jutting out of it, and summarily left to order several takeaway pizzas from the nearest pizzeria, at the time two miles away in the Broadlands district.

After some refinement, and with no further debate whatsoever, the black stick figure on yellow fabric became the Unicorn's famous badge. When the Saint Eleanor Football Association required in 1983 that all away kits in the league be white, it granted an exception to their pre-existing black kit, allowing a truly golden unicorn to shine through when the situation required it - although everybody knows that this was actually agreed to avoid potentially confusing kit clashes during games against Good Hope.

Many other clubs have minimalist crests, similarly resulting from various attempts to get a club identity together a quarter of a century ago, but Golden Unicorn's has not only persisted but attained international recognition. Various attempts to introduce verisimilitude to the crest have been attempted, but none have ever been well-received or adopted: don't expect that to change any time soon. Should you still be hungry after reading this, there is a shopping centre on the other end of Dignity Cross the street (and has been for fifteen years), with a pizza place that is now so iconic that almost everybody in the club's history has spoken highly of it. Its name? Geometrio's.

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 6 of SEL 1998
As expertly divined by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 12th April 1998

Nova Aegis can, will, and must Nova Aegis. The Pink Falcons whose traditionally well-meaning yet horrible football we had missed for so much of last month returned today, no doubt helped by the fact that they started a Pete Dervish who normally only ever plays when one of their normal centre-backs is out. Which Coluseris Dalousol was. Like their collapse against Occidental Olympic, it was 2-1 at the break; unlike the Olympic game, they didn't even take the lead, with Katie O'Donnell profiting first from a corner and then from an eight-pass chain before George Guest made it 2-1 at the break with the most stereotypically ordinary goal you will ever see. The similarities end there, as the fun starts: Saint Eleanor's very own Big Kat made it three for herself with a remarkable acrobatic effort and Harriet Williams scored from the spot (courtesy of Dervish, of course), before Guest struck straight and true with an effort that crept in past Stuart Norton and friends and O'Donnell became the first player to score four in a game since retired Sword and Shield legend Lawrence Quant in 1994 - all this in the first twenty minutes of the second half. Bart Forrest's second goal of the season was well-deserved both for him and the rest of the team.
Not all comebacks are created equal. They don't even usually come out equal. After Sword and Shield's Stanley Longley returned to his old ways against Grand Beach, it was Jessica Martin's time against the Good Hope Club, as she seemed to exchange places with Maddie Gordon to come up with her first before stroking a bottom-left-hand corner penalty past Hannah Downing's reach after a Robert Walker handball to make it two for her and the team. The Seasiders protested vigorously against this state of affairs with the change of ends, Jack Smith wrestling past multiple opponents and succeeding with a speculative mid-range effort to half the deficit before Falareta Wesevta headed in with less than twenty minutes left to close it off entirely. Smith should have made it three not long afterwards, but his effort clanged off the near side of the post and was dealt with by Will Francis, before Longley responded with his own header from a Martin free kick to give his team the advantage and restored their two-goal lead when Kevin Hand rolled in a good pass that he had no choice but to take. For the time being, the victory keeps them second behind Athletic.
Somebody should give Bridget Coombe a shiny gold medal already. The usually-impenetrable Grand Beach, having racked up ten points from their first five, were all set to make that eleven with most of today's game at the Parkside done, after Steve Pilchard's surprisingly early opener for Occidental Olympic was cancelled out by a ridiculously close-range effort from Rachel McNamara. A more distant opportunity arose for the hosts from thirty-five yards out later: Bridget Coombe (5'11'') asked Pilchard (5'6'') to get into the box for the free kick, pulled up her socks (Exandra Davies, 5'8'', should take note), waited for a few seconds, and catapulted her effort against the underside of the crossbar - to Julia Atherton's (5'9'') bafflement - and past the goal line. Upon realising what had happened, she actually covered her mouth with her hands out of shock, although Andy Packer was in more of a celebratory mood and almost rode on her. Was it deliberate or can we chalk this down as yet another Charlotte Bryant-style fluke? Callum McArthur's own goal to consolidate the Westerners' advantage was definitely unintended, but nobody is going to remember that.
Army and Navy vs Independence 1975 is still a big game. When the biggest and arguably third-biggest team in Saint Eleanor meet - even if they aren't necessarily the best or third-best teams in the league - it's always an occasion to savour, and Indy's trip to the New Barracks did not disappoint. The first big action came fifteen minutes in when Ken Wilkie caught Sophie Wilton on the edge of the box, giving Alice Christopher a challenging but possible free kick which she just bent wide of the mark. Wilton herself and Henry Green both had their best chances go narrowly wide. Janice Bartley (in injured Aidan Harris's stead) didn't do badly either, testing Indy keeper John Bailey with a couple of neat efforts, and Noah Chorley joined in the fun with his most notable effort just about landing on the top of the crossbar and past the goalline, but Evan Donald underwhelmed against Donald Hutchings, surely having his game of the seeason. And it was James Trott who won the day as he successfully dealt with the fallout from another Christopher setpiece: some call it wasteful football, but we at Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting call it good football.
Wayne Crawshaw might not actually be that bad. The Golden Unicorn striker has gotten a bad rap throughout his career for not doing his job, instead largely outsourcing his job to Melcheta Pazorzal - but this week, the native Sochean was quiet as Crawshaw was veritably on fire. His crucial first goal appeared to be an example of bad handling at first as he headed an Alistair Holborn cross down into the ground, but he took advantage of the situation and left about 90% of the stadium absolutely confused by volleying the ball well into the net. With the result certain and a few seconds to go, he refused to give up, standing fifteen yards out with just Naveral gaBexpara to beat but instead putting the seal on victory with a beautiful effort that dipped into the far corner. Setting up Natalie Monaco for her first of the season midway through the second half will be cherished, too - but most prized of all today will be Golden Unicorn's second win in a row, even if it did come against Juventud.

Saint Eleanor League, round six

Army and Navy 0
Independence 1975 1 (James Trott goal 62')

Sword and Shield 4 (Jessica Martin goals 20' and 42' [pen], Stanley Longley goals 80' and 86')
Good Hope Club 2 (Jack Smith goal 56', Falareta Wesevta goal 72')

Nova Aegis 2 (George Guest goals 36' and 59')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 6 (Katie O'Donnell goals 13', 22', 49' and 65', Harriet Williams goal 53' [pen], Bart Forrest goal 78')

Occidental Olympic 3 (Steve Pilchard goal 11', Bridget Coombe goal 70', Callum McArthur own goal 85')
Grand Beach 1 (Rachel McNamara goal 26')

Juventud 0
Golden Unicorn 3 (Wayne Crawshaw goals 25' and 90', Natalie Monaco goal 68')

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 8:20 pm

Matchday 7
Golden Unicorn 0–4 Army and Navy
Grand Beach 3–0 Juventud
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Occidental Olympic
Good Hope Club 1–0 Nova Aegis
Independence 1975 1–1 Sword and Shield

Matchday 8
Army and Navy 2–3 Sword and Shield
Nova Aegis 0–0 Independence 1975
Occidental Olympic 4–2 Good Hope Club
Juventud 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Golden Unicorn 1–0 Grand Beach

Matchday 9
Grand Beach 1–0 Army and Navy
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–3 Golden Unicorn
Good Hope Club 2–1 Juventud
Independence 1975 0–1 Occidental Olympic
Sword and Shield 3–2 Nova Aegis

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor              9    8   1   0    26    8  +18    25
 2 Sword and Shield                    9    6   2   1    20   12   +8    20
 3 Occidental Olympic                  9    6   0   3    20   13   +7    18
 4 Grand Beach                         9    5   1   3     9    8   +1    16
 5 Army and Navy                       9    4   0   5    14   11   +3    12
 6 Independence 1975                   9    3   3   3     6    8   −2    12
 7 Golden Unicorn                      9    3   2   4    12   14   −2    11
 8 Good Hope Club                      9    3   1   5     9   17   −8    10
 9 Juventud                            9    1   0   8     5   18  −13     3
10 Nova Aegis                          9    0   2   7     8   20  −12     2

Matchday 10
Army and Navy 0–1 Nova Aegis
Sword and Shield 3–7 Occidental Olympic
Independence 1975 1–0 Juventud
Good Hope Club 0–2 Golden Unicorn
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–4 Grand Beach

Matchday 11
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–2 Army and Navy
Grand Beach 0–1 Good Hope Club
Golden Unicorn 0–4 Independence 1975
Juventud 0–4 Sword and Shield
Occidental Olympic 1–2 Nova Aegis

Matchday 12
Army and Navy 2–5 Occidental Olympic
Nova Aegis 4–2 Juventud
Sword and Shield 1–0 Golden Unicorn
Independence 1975 0–0 Grand Beach
Good Hope Club 0–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             12    8   2   2    28   14  +14    26
 2 Sword and Shield                   12    8   2   2    28   19   +9    26
 3 Occidental Olympic                 12    8   0   4    33   20  +13    24
 4 Grand Beach                        12    6   2   4    13   10   +3    20
 5 Independence 1975                  12    5   4   3    11    8   +3    19
 6 Army and Navy                      12    5   0   7    18   18    0    15
 7 Golden Unicorn                     12    4   2   6    14   19   −5    14
 8 Good Hope Club                     12    4   2   6    10   19   −9    14
 9 Nova Aegis                         12    3   2   7    15   23   −8    11
10 Juventud                           12    1   0  11     7   27  −20     3

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 7 of SEL 1998
As gladly compiled by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 24th April 1998

This is Athletic Saint Eleanor's title to lose. You'd think the reds would be good odds to win their first title in four years, and their first comfortable title in twelve, if they can keep their five-point advantage going. It was Fred Newton who struck first at Northwest Road at one post, before he did so again from another... and Katie O'Donnell hammered in a surprising, if astonishing, bicycle kick - almost reminiscent of national team manager Priscilla Evans' against Coldfield all those years ago - to make it three. Unlike then, however, there was to be no late heartbreak, with Dekamela weMexala's final goal not only coming after around 75 minutes but serving as little more than a crumb of consolation.
Independence 1975 are in the mud. Athletic's five-point advantage could have been slashed a bit if Sword and Shield had gotten the full benefits out of the varying relentless attacks they levied against Indy. From a micro level, that they only got a 1-1 draw as Hugh Roanoke responded to Cathy Winchester was surprising, for such an insurgent team against a relatively squalid one. Taking a broader view, however, the LIberators are sixth. They have scored six in seven games, conceded seven, gone 2-2-3 in the meanwhile, and will remain stuck there for a while. Unlike with Army and Navy at the start of the season, most people think that the problem here is overfamiliarity: Pittam has used, for the most part, the same team he used during the title charge of 1995, their players are overwhelmingly stuck in their old ways and they are being found out for it. This needs to change sooner, not later. Unfortunately, the transfer window doesn't open until December.
Golden Unicorn are okay, but they aren't great. Having won two in a row, Ian Jones and friends must have been quite confident as they hosted Army and Navy, themselves stuck in sixth before the day began. That confidence was grossly misplaced: even shorn of Harris, Janice Bartley was quick to cash in on lax marking from Aaron Francis to begin the scoresheet, before Evan Donald cleared the path for victory from ten yards out - and again from fifteen. Although arguably an own goal by Francis, Matt Carson fired away - this time from open play - to make it 4-0 and that would be that: the Soldiers go into fourth, the Unicorn stay seventh (ahead of only the usual suspects), nothing more needs be said about this absolute hammering.
Grand Beach are somehow third. They accomplished it in 1993 and 1996, but could they do it again? Results against Juventud are hardly a reliable indicator of anything, but few other teams have had such a good time against them so far as the Dolphins, who faced no serious resistance and were kept from scoring more than three by simple misfortune rather than incompetence. Rachel McNamara celebrated her nineteenth birthday with a sumptuous opener, and should have doubled her tally within minutes of the second half opening but failed to do so. Fans might have been getting tense once again, but they quite honestly had no need to be, with the other half of McNamara's strike team Patrick Budd making his own breakthrough before Tim Brandon struck from just inside the box to make it three and make them happier than perhaps even he could have thought.
Mary Kirkport would make a good journalist. Once the captain of Good Hope Club, "Quirky" Mary Kirkport (actually a conventional centreback) involuntarily handed the captain's armband over to a then-21-year-old Laura Brown three weeks before the start of the 1992 season after almost being run over by a car while crossing the street; she did not appear that season, returned to the substitutes' bench the following year, has provided seemingly-important moral support all the meanwhile and has largely swapped her football boots for smart trainers - as I learned when I met her at an independent coffeehouse in Trident this week. Kirkport was quiet, as she usually is, but surprisingly circumspect - noting that Good Hope are "more solid at the back now and getting better," that "Athletic really aren't as likely to win as most people think they are, they're probably running out of steam", even that "at least a couple of the people I'm seeing at Trident school could make the big time" - and I'd like to think she'd do well as a journalist, obviously with SESB. Asked about the probability of the Seasiders winning their next few games, she said that "Almost anybody can defeat anybody else in the league, with a couple of exceptions, but I don't really think we're going to get past anyone other than Aegis, Juventud and maybe the Unicorn before summer. I'll try my best, however." And to confirm my suspicions, is she really becoming Millie Carter's assistant in 1999, as some magazines have rumoured? "Not telling!"

Saint Eleanor League, round seven

Golden Unicorn 0
Army and Navy 4 (Janice Bartley goal 20', Evan Donald goals 36' and 63', Matthew Carson goal 68')

Grand Beach 3 (Rachel McNamara goal 34', Patrick Budd goal 76', Tim Brandon goal 78')
Juventud 0

Athletic Saint Eleanor 3 (Fred Newton goals 26' and 39', Katie O'Donnell goal 61')
Occidental Olympic 1 (Dekamela weMexala goal 75')

Good Hope Club 1 (Sarah Daltrey goal 52')
Nova Aegis 0

Independence 1975 1 (Cathy Winchester goal 78')
Sword and Shield 1 (Hugh Roanoke goal 72')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 8 of SEL 1998
As beautifully depicted by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Sunday 10th May 1998

Juventud aren't as bad as they look. The Young still have just a single win to their name so far, but their efforts in defeat against Athletic Saint Eleanor - by now poised to take over from Independence 1975 as Saint Eleanor's best team - were no less valiant. The first half was goalless but, unlike certain earlier matches, there were no questionable calls, no atrocious defending and no particularly threatening attacking. Things started to change after Joey Richards got his second yellow for racking up one minor offence too many, however, and John Tresco was unlucky to have his effort narrowly blocked off by Naveral gaBrexpara before his replacement, Dennis Elton. Appearances would certainly suggest that Elton and his fellow substitute Philip Coal definitely played a major role in helping make sure that Athletic remained afloat... against Juventud. Do you really need to have to use substitutes to win against Juventud? Seriously? Lads, it's Juventud!
Sword and Shield were just as unconvincing. Whether they were supposed to be can be called into question, too: Army and Navy could have leapfrogged them with a win. That the outcome even looked likely was a point of concern, too, as Angela Dixon scored twice - once from out wide and again from a more central position - to please the New Barracks faithful while responding to Kevin Hand's opener. The tourists promptly struck back, however, with Evan Kilkenny rounding up his first goal since the opening day on the hour before Jessica Martin scored her third in three games and keep the gap at five points. The fullback got lucky with his equaliser, however, and Noah Chorley had every opportunity to wash up at 2-1 but didn't: of all the teams that won today, the Collegiates might have been some of the least deserving.
There's a first time for everything. Yes, even a first dismissal: Bridget Coombe, the Occidental Olympic midfielder who got into the starting lineup directly from Parkside Community School five years ago and has only missed a single game (that from picking up too many yellows in 1996), has finally gotten her marching orders. With Millie Carter having brought on Mefasula voElantara late in the second half for a much-needed but unlikely attacking impetus, Coombe decided to try and win the ball off her, but caught her ankle instead and - as SESB commenter Horace Parton would have it - "is now out for four weeks." Surely a waste of twenty yards? It was a slight blow - voElantara netted a few minutes later but couldn't do anything else, with Denby and weMexala giving Olympic an unassailable advantage - but perhaps bigger than expected, with a formidable but weakened Independence 1975 up next.
Grand Beach... don't look like a third-placed team. They shouldn't be losing to a Golden Unicorn team that's a decade past its own literally golden age, for starters. While they're the ones with the reputation for shutting up shop, it was Natalie Monaco whose early second-half drive allowed the Brightway side to do exactly that, drawing Monaco and Jones back into a deeper position and putting up a wall which not even McNamara and Budd could or would break down, never mind Brandon or Harris from the wider positions. While the Dolphins were trying and failing to do that, Amanda Thorpe actually set Melcheta Pazorzal up with a good opportunity in the final ten minutes, but he in kind could not break down Julia Atherton when required. Not that it mattered: just a 1-0 win would be good enough, especially for the manager.
Independence 1975 are still in the mud. Nova Aegis had gotten one point all season - a match against the Golden Unicorn that they deserved to win. Now they have two points, the latest coming from a match against the titleholders that nobody deserved to win. The one shot on target, from Ronald Silliman, was saved. George Guest had two off target; Sophie Wilton and Bobby Smith, who we have seen so little of since the IFCF, had one apiece. It was a match so unnervingly horrible that to write anything more about it would not do it justice. The result keeps them sixth.

Saint Eleanor League, round eight

Army and Navy 2 (Angela Dixon goals 40' and 53')
Sword and Shield 3 (Kevin Hand goal 23', Evan Kilkenny goal 61', Jessica Martin goal 70')

Nova Aegis 0
Independence 1975 0

Occidental Olympic 4 (Adam Denby goals 16' and 54', Dekamela weMexala goals 30' and 66', Bridget Coombe red card 74')
Good Hope Club 2 (Anthony York goal 57', Mefasula voElantara goal 80')

Juventud 0 (Joey Roberts red card 57')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1 (Dennis Elton goal 68')

Golden Unicorn 1 (Natalie Monaco goal 47')
Grand Beach 0

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 9 of SEL 1998
As questioningly demonstrated by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Sunday 17th May 1998

Grand Beach are definitely going to enjoy their holidays. A win for Grand Beach today would have, in likelihood, consolidated their position in fourth. By some coincidence, both of those things happened. McNamara and Budd were little-noticed for the first time in a while, with Liz Harris more coming to the fore, getting herself involved in all serious opportunities and ultimately setting up Sara Halbrook to enable her to score the winner and send her team into the short mid-summer break happy. Victor Bone should arguably be ashamed of himself for failing to keep her quiet, but not as much as Susanna Michaels, ejected with five minutes to play after a horrendous tackle on Halbrook that somehow left her without lasting injuries.
Occidental Olympic are the real deal. Independence 1975 are a good team on paper - but, as so many teams have found out to their gain this year, football is not played on paper. Olympic became one of them as, although Denby and Short in particular were menacing up front, they could not find a way past the Liberators' defence through no fault of their own. In the end, Steve Pilchard's late and close-range effort was both necessary and sufficient for the Westerners to hang onto victory. Keep in mind that this is Olympic without Coombe, a crucial and likable yet largely unnoticed player who missed this game for going in half a second too late on a Good Hope substitute. How good will they be after she returns from the mid-summer break?
The top two had plenty of fun, as well. Athletic Saint Eleanor's 4-3 win against Golden Unicorn was very much a rollercoaster ride: after Matt Shilling's chip put them behind, Harriet Williams gave them the lead at half time through a free kick and a twenty-yard stunner from open play. Wayne Crawshaw equalised for the Unicorn twice, either side of Katie O'Donnell volleying them the lead again, but Lauren Pell restored order - and Athletic's commandeering lead in the table - after her attempt unexpectedly snuck in past Georgia Wood. Sword and Shield, however, threatened to throw away a three-goal lead when Stanley Longley scored two slick goals either side of the break and Samuel Walcott's setpiece header, but Nova Aegis' veteran forward George Guest scored twice in the final fifteen minutes and threatened on another occasion to almost completely wipe out the Collegiates' gains - but did not succeed in doing so.
Good Hope Club are no longer in trouble. They come seven points clear off the bottom after a 2-1 win against Juventud that, despite the scoreline, was an easy triumph. Falareta Wesevta hit home first with the second shot on target, after Jack Smith spoiled a great chance by skewing it almost wide in the wrong direction. Charlotte Bryant added to the score on the other side of half-time, this time a clean finish from ten yards away that she completely meant - and might well have added another had she not overenthusiastically hit the post from even closer range. Mark Yates struck from a bit further with time running out, but it was nowhere near enough to prevent his team from sinking to yet another defeat.
We're still bored. The table somehow remains unchanged on last week. I don't recall how long it's been since this last happened. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Saint Eleanor League, round nine

Grand Beach 1 (Sara Halbrook goal 72')
Army and Navy 0 (Susanna Michaels red card 85')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 4 (Harriet Williams goals 35' and 45', Katie O'Donnell goal 64', Lauren Pell goal 75')
Golden Unicorn 3 (Matt Shilling goal 22', Wayne Crawshaw goals 53' and 69')

Good Hope Club 2 (Falareta Wesevta goal 41', Charlotte Bryant goal 50')
Juventud 1 (Mark Yates goal 73')

Independence 1975 0
Occidental Olympic 1 (Steve Pilchard goal 74')

Sword and Shield 3 (Stanley Longley goals 25' and 63', Samuel Walcott goal 52')
Nova Aegis 2 (George Guest goals 78' and 86')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 10 of SEL 1998
As prominently sleuthed by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Sunday 7th June 1998

Grand Beach just will not stop confusing us. Are they good? Bad? Awful? Marvellous? They were certainly the last of these things today, as Patrick Budd rounded Athletic Saint Eleanor's Stuart Norton and Liz Harris managed to nutmeg him to put the coastal outfit 2-0 up within thirty minutes. Budd quite literally swooped in with a good volley a few minutes after the start of the second half to make that three and - despite Charlie Dell, seldom on the scoresheet, finding his name there this time after a nice charge inside and an even better effort - Douglas Westwood restored the advantage with his first since game two.
Oh, dear... what's going on there? With Grand Beach's demolition job at Northwest Road, you'd think Sword and Shield would be favoured to slash the gap at the top of the table - but as I said before the short summer break, Bridget Coombe's return proved to be a good sign for their opponents, Occidental Olympic, and she even scored - albeit in much less spectacular circumstances, from a sensible distance of about twelve yards with Olympic already 5-1 up. Dekamela weMexala began the hard work with a good header before Adam Denby followed suit with a low and hard strike. The floodgates were opened for Steve Pilchard and Sam Short by the end of the half; despite Rounds netting after the restart, the Olympic pair scored two of their own before Little Miss Reliable gave them an astonishing five-goal lead. Jessica Martin cut it back to four twice, between Mike Derry - another header - restoring the advantage, but the damage was done, possibly in more ways than one.
Nova Aegis actually won a game. Never mind the Dolphins; the entire league is confusing us today. The Pink Falcons have, for some reason or another, secured their first win of the season, although not in a style that anybody wanted or needed. In a game where five players were booked - Matthew Carson for a foul, Cup of Harmony winner Davina Salt for trying to charge forward from a free kick wall, Ken Wilkie and Coluseris Dalousol for accumulating fouls, and Stephen Wright for timewasting right at the end - only one managed to convert, with winger Stephen Jones getting his first notch of the season through an early effort that curled in at the near post. As the saying probably goes, however, that was enough.
Independence 1975 are trying their very best, they promise. With Jones depriving the Soldiers of any points, the chance for Indy to overtake them was there. It was snatched, however overenthusiastically, when David Newcastle's backheel - never mind that Independence players aren't normally supposed to do that - set up Sophie Wilton for the only goal of the game as the half-time whistle approached. It should most certainly not have been that close as Wilton and Newcastle each had wonderful opportunities, while Green's headed attempt just coasted over the crossbar and even Alice Christopher had a speculative go that Naveral gaBexpara just about grasped. Juventud's biggest opportunity, by contrast, was... erm.
Natalie Monaco and Jack Markham would make bad mystery shoppers. Golden Unicorn also overtook Army and Navy today as Melcheta Pazorzal whacked a double against a typically lacklustre Good Hope Club, but that was never making headlines on the back pages. The midfielder and striker made their own on the front pages on Thursday, however, as they were pictured walking around Dignity Cross the stadium with about a dozen - or maybe two - bags from Dignity Cross the shopping centre. Not even our gossip experts at SESB News know what they got, but we suspect it must have been fun - and Pazorzal told the world after his team's win that "the dressing room really felt and smelled lovely." Was that cologne for Nat or Jack? We'll almost certainly never know that, either.

Saint Eleanor League, round ten

Army and Navy 0
Nova Aegis 1 (Stephen Jones goal 24')

Sword and Shield 3 (Alex Rounds goal 50', Jessica Martin goals 72' and 90')
Occidental Olympic 7 (Dekamela weMexala goal 16', Adam Denby goal 24', Steve Pilchard goals 35' and 61', Samuel Short goals 44' and 58', Bridget Coombe goal 69', Mike Derry goal 77')

Independence 1975 1 (Sophie Wilton goal 43')
Juventud 0

Good Hope Club 0
Golden Unicorn 2 (Melcheta Pazorzal goals 58' and 80')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 1 (Charlie Dell goal 60')
Grand Beach 4 (Patrick Budd goals 21' and 53', Liz Harris goal 25', Douglas Westwood goal 79')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 11 of SEL 1998
As angrily pointed out by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 13th June 1998

The top half is getting some big wakeup calls. For starters, Occidental Olympic were shocked 2-1 by Nova Aegis, with strikers George Guest and Ronald Silliman both offering masterclasses in how to finish from about eight yards out, and the back four (in particular Chris Collins) performing excellently in preventing the title-chasing Westerners from adding to their tally - until little-known substitute Kerry Otterson destroyed their hopes of a clean sheet in second half stoppage time. Meanwhile, Jennifer Smith (with a header) and Aidan Harris (with a powerful shot that veered to the right but still managed to go in) finally scored for Army and Navy as they won by the same scoreline against Athletic Saint Eleanor, with Fred Newton's second-half equaliser making little difference in the grand plan.
It's Ladies' Night at the Poly Sports. Sword and Shield were, given results elsewhere, the biggest winners from today, closing the gap to two points by hammering Juventud 4-0 in the kind of performance everybody playing the Young should be trying to emulate. Maddie Gordon, once again LARPing as a striker, got the party started with a good, if ordinary, effort, before Jessica Martin doubled the scoreline with a better, even more ordinary effort. Lucy Miller was the third woman to score on the night, but did so by converting an otherwise poorly-dealt-with corner into her own end And Christine Terrence wrapped it all off with her first ever Saint Eleanor League goal, tapping in from yet another Martin free kick to turn victory from a certainty into... something even certainer.
Independence 1975 are rolling back into town. They, too, enjoyed their own extravagant 4-0 win away from home, this time at Golden Unicorn's Dignity Cross. In a fairly boring yet high-scoring match, the yellow-clad outfit had no serious response to the strong efforts from Bobby Smith, Henry Green, nor James Trott (twice). Natalie Monaco tried launching a few assaults from twenty or twenty-five yards out, to no avail. This does not stop Indy from remaining in fifth, where they do not and should not belong.
Georgia Wood got herself sent off for bringing James Trott down in the box. One, how else are you supposed to explain Independence 1975's blowout victory? And two, since nothing else of note happened in the Saint Eleanor League today, I would like to draw the reader's attention to the chronic chip shortage in the SESB Headquarters Snack Bar. For two decades, vaguely curious members of SESB desk staff have attended dutifully in the snack bar to get crisps, chocolate, peanuts (notwithstanding the fact that SESB has gone through thirteen near-identical Nut Policies since 1991), and yes, the hot cheesy chips that everybody at the reporting desk I know loves to varying extents - and then all of a sudden they've been out of stock for ten weeks for no good reason other than "we'll get them back soon, have a hot sandwich." And they are offering us nothing in exchange other than highly questionable sandwiches that have made eleven members of staff ill in the past four years! When will they ever learn? More to the point, when will they stop shoving hot fucking sandwiches in our face?
There are less than five important things you need to know about Round 11. Really, there are three of substance. Sorry about that.

Saint Eleanor League, round eleven

Athletic Saint Eleanor 1 (Fred Newton goal 57')
Army and Navy 2 (Jennifer Smith goal 30', Aidan Harris goal 75')

Grand Beach 0
Good Hope Club 1 (Anthony York goal 15')

Golden Unicorn 0 (Georgia Wood red card 41')
Independence 1975 4 (James Trott goals 42' [pen] and 72', Henry Green goal 57', Bobby Smith 81')

Juventud 0
Sword and Shield 4 (Maddie Gordon goal 27', Jessica Martin goal 48', Lucy Miller own goal 63', Christine Terrence goal 81')

Occidental Olympic 1 (Kerry Otterson goal 90+1')
Nova Aegis 2 (George Guest goal 12', Ronald Silliman goal 54')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 12 of SEL 1998
As skilfully identified by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 20th June 1998

Don't ignore Occidental Olympic - or else. If you're going to bounce back from a narrow defeat against a poor but resurgent team, you do it with a three-goal win. Denby and Pilchard scored and assisted one each in the first half to give Olympic a 2-0 lead against Army and Navy, and - although Aidan Harris, in his best form for a while yet, scored twice in the second half, Denby magicked up his own response with a great shot into the top corner just shy of the hour, before Dekamelu weMexala hammered home twice to put the result beyond any and all doubt whatsoever. And to think that Fetakela Manuta doesn't even want his team to be this much fun to play for.
There are two sides to Nova Aegis vs Juventud. Do you want the horrible, boring matchup that you got in the first half of this season - or are you interested in the fun, exciting, we-forgot-how-to-defend clash we get every now and then? You're in luck if you wanted the latter: Anna Butcher scored her first goal for Juventud to make them dream of doing the double over the Pink Falcons, but George Guest had other ideas, scoring twice in response and setting up Anne Hoar for the other. When striker Keith Parker made it 3-2 again, Greg Mallett came up with a relatively wonderful goal - the kind of strike that Athletic fans would consider normal - to double Nova Aegis's lead, where it remained.
The title race is heating up. With Athletic crawling to a torrid draw against the Good Hope Club, somehow their best result from this upcoming half of the season so far, the door was wide open for Sword and Shield to draw level with them on points if they could just win against Golden Unicorn. Naturally, they did so with some difficulty: with many of both their best players and Golden Unicorn's perhaps distracted by the upcoming three-month break, it was left down to Dan Brook - hardly a regular for the Collegiates - to hammer home the winner, being forced to leap over Georgia Wood in the process before hammering the ball in from an arguably offside position.
We remain bored. Just like Week 9, and even if you conveniently ignore points tallies (which I've just said you shouldn't), all the teams are where they were before today's games started. I'm only telling you this because only two other pieces of league news are out this week. One of them involves Tim Brandon getting the better of Cathy Winchester once again, to the point where she gets a red card for bringing him down this time. The other involves... international football news? Wait, what?
We're all going on a summer holiday. Yes, I know, this is the obvious headline, but Saint Eleanor have been fated, as they were last time, to the Cup of Harmony. Twenty-three of who are allegedly among the best players in the Saint Eleanor League - and there are 180 of them, including the Tinhamptonians who Priscilla Evans couldn't call up even if she wanted to - will be headed to Montaña Verde (they have no other choice) and The Licentian Isles (if they make the final... as if) this August (definitely) and September (unlikely). These will likely be the same players who played in the World Cup qualifiers. They did not perform well then. They will not suddenly perform well now. My prediction: a win against Delaclava, a draw against Zeta Reka, a sorry loss to Starblaydia, maybe a torrid Round of 32 game where we get eliminated on penalties, game over for another few months until we have to do this all over again.

Saint Eleanor League, round twelve

Army and Navy 2 (Aidan Harris goals 51' and 78')
Occidental Olympic 5 (Adam Denby goals 25' and 60', Steve Pilchard goal 33', Dekamelu weMexala goals 67' and 86')

Nova Aegis 4 (George Guest goals 30' and 63', Anne Hoar goal 56', Greg Mallett goal 80')
Juventud 2 (Anna Butcher goal 15', Keith Parker goal 74')

Sword and Shield 1 (Dan Brook goal 63')
Golden Unicorn 0

Independence 1975 0 (Cathy Winchester red card 81')
Grand Beach 0

Good Hope Club 0
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 9:56 pm

Matchday 13
Good Hope Club 0–1 Army and Navy
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–3 Independence 1975
Grand Beach 1–0 Sword and Shield
Golden Unicorn 0–2 Nova Aegis
Juventud 1–1 Occidental Olympic

Matchday 14
Army and Navy 0–0 Juventud
Occidental Olympic 3–0 Golden Unicorn
Nova Aegis 0–2 Grand Beach
Sword and Shield 6–5 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Independence 1975 3–1 Good Hope Club

Matchday 15
Independence 1975 1–0 Army and Navy
Good Hope Club 4–3 Sword and Shield
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2–1 Nova Aegis
Grand Beach 0–1 Occidental Olympic
Golden Unicorn 6–2 Juventud

Matchday 16
Army and Navy 1–0 Golden Unicorn
Juventud 2–5 Grand Beach
Occidental Olympic 5–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Nova Aegis 0–1 Good Hope Club
Sword and Shield 1–0 Independence 1975

Matchday 17
Sword and Shield 2–1 Army and Navy
Independence 1975 1–0 Nova Aegis
Good Hope Club 3–3 Occidental Olympic
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–2 Juventud
Grand Beach 1–0 Golden Unicorn

Matchday 18
Army and Navy 3–0 Grand Beach
Golden Unicorn 3–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Juventud 3–5 Good Hope Club
Occidental Olympic 3–3 Independence 1975
Nova Aegis 1–1 Sword and Shield

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Occidental Olympic                 18   11   3   4    49   29  +20    36
 2 Sword and Shield                   18   11   3   4    41   31  +10    36
 3 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18   10   3   5    45   34  +11    33
 4 Independence 1975                  18    9   5   4    22   14   +8    32
 5 Grand Beach                        18   10   2   6    22   16   +6    32
 6 Army and Navy                      18    8   1   9    24   21   +3    25
 7 Good Hope Club                     18    7   3   8    24   32   −8    24
 8 Golden Unicorn                     18    5   3  10    23   31   −8    18
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    4   3  11    19   30  −11    15
10 Juventud                           18    1   2  15    17   48  −31     5

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 13 of SEL 1998
As well said by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Friday 18th September 1998

Nova Aegis have won four in a row. Three has happened twice - this year and 1980. Four has never, ever, ever happened. Courtesy of a couple of handy midfielders, it just has: Amelia Lane, who set up George Guest (admittedly a striker) for the only serious chance of the first half, fired home from fifteen yards out early in the second half to make the Pink Falcons dream about making history. And after Caitlynn Jones was booked, Alphonse Rawlings lined up a free kick in worrying territory (if you're a Unicorn fan) that sailed into the back of the net and left Aegis with a clear advantage. Perhaps they might not actually be Saint Eleanor's second-worst team if they carry on playing this well.
This isn't your dad's Athletic Saint Eleanor, either. You'd quite honestly expect them to win against the most paradoxically just-about-okay Independence 1975 team in quite a while, even if they're struggling to hold onto first. Yet they didn't: David Newcastle's header at the ridiculously far post spelled trouble for them early in the first half, yet it was very much the late show at Northwest Road as - having failed to double their lead in disappointing fashion earlier - Alice Christopher succeeded at her task by latching onto a shockingly good pass from James Trott, who dealt with Katie O'Donnell's ravishing equaliser with a decent strike from a reasonable position, as goals should be.
The reds are, inexplicably, still on top. The only two teams that could catch them to lead this round's table flopped. Sword and Shield crumbled as Grand Beach secured yet another Tim Brandon- and Sam Newbridge-inspired smash-and-grab win that would read the same as many of the other Grand Beach 1-0 match reports. Much more newsworthy would surely be Juventud battling for an hour against Occidental Olympic, after falling behind to a low and central Samuel Short effort and getting a few of their players booked along the way, before Keith Parker tucked in an effort from about two yards out that was, without any further context, unremarkable.
Conversely, the title race is inexplicably wide open. Sword and Shield play Athletic Saint Eleanor next, in what (then as now) will be a top-of-the-table clash, albeit with much more riding on it. Occidental Olympic, Independence 1975 and Grand Beach respectively - and remember that each of these five teams are separated by four points - face Golden Unicorn, Good Hope Club and Nova Aegis respectively in games that everybody expects them to win. Army and Navy play Juventud in a game that exactly thirty-seven people will care about.
Katie O'Donnell is the only person who's getting out of this situation alive. The same woman who struck for Athletic today scored both of Saint Eleanor's goals in their win over Delaclava, in a Cup of Harmony campaign that saw no other wins and no other goals from the White Stars, major concerns about Priscilla Evans' future (since resolved by George Mitcham's emphatic vote of confidence), and a few rebellious teammates who will no doubt be axed at the first opportunity. Although I'd be willing to wager that John Parkinson would be dropped even if he were a complete and utter sycophant.

Saint Eleanor League, round thirteen

Good Hope Club 0
Army and Navy 1 (Noah Chorley goal 25')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 1 (Katie O'Donnell goal 81')
Independence 1975 3 (David Newcastle goal 37', Alice Christopher goal 70', Henry Green goal 84')

Grand Beach 1 (Tim Brandon goal 39')
Sword and Shield 0

Golden Unicorn 0
Nova Aegis 2 (Amelia Lane goal 53', Alphonse Rawlings goal 82')

Juventud 1 (Keith Parker goal 80')
Occidental Olympic 1 (Samuel Short goal 19')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 14 of SEL 1998
As fatefully recognised by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Friday 25th September 1998

The wheels on Athletic go off and off... off and off... off and off. No team should go three goals up and lose - especially not Athletic Saint Eleanor, who have no excuses for today's mid-afternoon horror show. Sitting pretty at 5-2 when Paul Ferry was sent off for downing Saint Eleanor teammate Jessica Martin, she converted with just under half an hour to go to make it 5-3. Stanley Longley made it four for the Collegiates with a classic, solid effort before Martin got her hattrick in with a chip that sent Stuart Norton flopping 180 degrees and Ivan Brown put the seal on things in the 88th minute. Athletic have now won one point in five games since the mid-season break, which would be reasonable if they were still in the Challengers' Cup. But to be perfectly clear, Athletic's opponents are nowhere near the level of Axelrod-Conway, Basilisk or Çí Xôrí - whose team won the most recent edition of the tournament. They are almost certainly closer to the calibre of Pan, Riverón, and Salayeta. You must now think how long it will be until they get to hoist the old, worn, ridiculously cherished trophy over their heads again.
Independence 1975 continue to do jobs well done. The Liberators have very much (re)burnished their reputation as a top-notch team since the summer, following up their 3-1 win away to Athletic with an equally emphatic victory at home to Good Hope Club. Despite being shocked by an early Peter Simpson strike that no goalkeeper in the Saint Eleanor League could have saved, Sophie Wilton fired home to equalise things before half-time and did so again from the spot in the second half, in James Trott's stead. Even fullback Donald Hutchings saw fit to pile on, volleying into the net as the Seasiders struggled to deal with the fallout from an excellent corner from his counterpart Cathy Winchester.
Army and Navy never fail to disappoint. Four points separate Sword and Shield - who lead the table after their astonishing win today - and Independence 1975 in fifth. Indy are, in turn, six points clear of the Soldiers in sixth, whose position was done no favours by a goalless draw to Juventud. This was a game that, on balance, they deserved to lose: Noah Chorley in particular was horrible in front of goal, failing to land a single effort on target, while national team player Evan Donald - but surely not for long - barely touched the ball, and his last touch managed to tee up Stella Boldman for what was the Young's best opportunity of the game, although Ella Holmes' effort agonisingly crept into Brian Tarrant's hands.
Steve Pilchard remains in astonishing good stead. Not since his youth football days has anyone been confidently able to say that "it's Pilchard's world and we're all living in it" - and despite not actually scoring today, he had a hand in all three goals and put in a good shift for his boyhood Occidental Olympic against the Golden Unicorn. First, he teed up Mick Smeaton (standing in for an injured Dom Cooper) for the opener, distributing the ball just a bit to the left of Logan Hughes' expectations. In an unexpected position out wide, he just decided to shunt the ball to Kerry Otterson a while later, who went on a remarkably successful dribble and subsequently made the score 2-0. Finally, he acted as a surprisingly effective decoy - when you consider the quality of the teams in this league - to fool the Unicorn's defenders into thinking that he, not a surprisingly bold Bridget Coombe, was going to get the ball and hit it home for number three. Ignore the fact that he was definitely fouled in the buildup.
Grand Beach are consistently consistent. Nova Aegis at home. Nil-nil. Kieran Abbott. Ambitious chip over the top. Patrick Budd. Whack. Goal. One-nil. Doug Westwood. Nice through-ball. Tim Brandon around the corner. Tap. Tap. Tap. Kerthwonk. Two-nil. Sit back. Try not to relax. Usual stuff. Guest fails, as he should. Two-nil. Next: the Occidental Olympic.

Saint Eleanor League, round fourteen

Army and Navy 0
Juventud 0

Occidental Olympic 3 (Mick Smeaton goal 33', Kerry Otterson goal 67', Bridget Coombe goal 77')
Golden Unicorn 0

Nova Aegis 0
Grand Beach 2 (Patrick Budd goal 37', Tim Brandon goal 61')

Sword and Shield 6 (Luke Gregory goal 17', Jessica Martin goals 32', 66' [pen] and 78', Stanley Longley goal 70', Ivan Brown goal 89')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 5 (Katie O'Donnell goals 12' and 59', Harriet Williams goal 21', Charlie Dell goal 28', John Tresco goal 44')

Independence 1975 3 (Sophie Wilton goals 36' and 71' [pen], Donald Hutchings goal 82')
Good Hope Club 1 (Peter Simpson goal 23')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 15 of SEL 1998
As handily spotted by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 3rd October 1998

Olympic lead the table for the second time in their history. The first was after they lodged a 4-0 win on the opening day of the 1985 season; they finished sixth that season. Ending up there this time around would be virtually unthinkable, as - despite Grand Beach's best attempts to use Fortress Albion Road to their advantage - Dekamela weMexala struck the one and only goal they required to find themselves on top and harm the hosts' chances of making the IFCF. There were other attempts, of course, but they were thwarted and I have no intention of wasting my column inches on them. And so to the other big result involving the other coastal club and the other title-chasers...
Good Hope Club have downed Sword and Shield. Having taken cynical midfielder Anthony York out in favour of Mefasula voElantara, Millie Carter was most certainly out to win in a game that meant nothing to them - but might have had added significance for Olympic's Good Hope alumna Exandra Davies. Despite Maddie Gordon's hattrick giving them what looked to be a good advantage with ten minutes left, Good Hope striker Jack Smith - previously anonymous in the tie, scored twice in the penalty area to guarantee a potentially monumental victory - for both sides. Tied with Athletic Saint Eleanor on points, two behind Olympic and one ahead of Independence 1975, the Collegiates might find themselves unable to log a fourth Saint Eleanor League title.
Old dogs don't need to learn new tricks. 37-year-old veteran Peter Owens, drafted in for Bobby Smith late in Independence 1975's home tie against Army and Navy, rapidly proved the difference in what was otherwise a squalid match, skipping past Alan Eldridge, slipping the ball to a patient Sophie Wilton instead of just charging into the gap with the ball like his mid-80s self would have done, having possession returned to him and then cautiously yet riotously scoring against Brian Tarrant for his first goal in two years.
Golden Unicorn - or, at least, one of the Unicorns - absolutely hammered Juventud. Surprisingly, Natalie Monaco decided to make the visitors her plaything, scoring twice against them in the first half and striking a third low into the bottom corner in the second half. She set up Melcheta Pazorzal, too. Both times. Everybody else - even Holborn, Yates, and Verlanta - was insignificant in comparison. That is a potential national team reservist right over there for you. I need say no more than that.
Athletic Saint Eleanor squeaked past Nova Aegis. Lightning never strikes twice. Katie O'Donnell did, both times in the first fifteen minutes of the second half, and that was sufficient to ensure that Athletic's dog in the title race is a dachshund rather than a poodle. Ronald Silliman scored a bit later in the seecond half, had a goal in the first half ruled out for offside and another for foul play; George Guest also hammered a penalty in the general direction of Stuart Norton.

Saint Eleanor League, round fifteen

Independence 1975 1 (Peter Owens goal 83')
Army and Navy 0

Good Hope Club 4 (Anthony York goal 15', Joe Folsom goal 37', Jack Smith goals 82' and 89')
Sword and Shield 3 (Maddie Gordon goals 35', 49' and 66')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 2 (Katie O'Donnell goals 49' and 57')
Nova Aegis 1 (Ronald Silliman goal 72', George Guest missed penalty 82')

Grand Beach 0
Occidental Olympic 1 (Dekamela weMexalu goal 66')

Golden Unicorn 6 (Natalie Monaco goals 16', 34' and 70', Melcheta Pazorzal goals 4' and 62', Alistair Holborn goal 80')
Juventud 2 (Pialanesa Verlanta goal 38', Tim Yates goal 48')

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 16 of SEL 1998
As glaringly highlighted by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 10th October 1998

Now this is Olympic's title to lose! At the halfway point, Athletic Saint Eleanor were five clear at the top. Today, they're five away from the top and almost certainly not going to win the Saint Eleanor League, absent a major miracle. Although initially set to profit from their visit to the Parkside Stadium because of Fred Newton, a frenzy of goals from Steve Pilchard - twice - and Adam Denby had Occidental Olympic up 3-1 at the break. Samuel Short cut from inside to make that four later, and - in spite of Newton hammering his second from almost twenty-five yards out - Exandra Davies netted a surprise goal to consolidate her team's advantage at the top of the table. Another team could seriously catch them...
Sword and Shield are putting the pressure on. Ruthless and entertaining as they always have been, Sword and Shield could still only manage a 1-0 triumph at home to Independence 1975, leaving their victims outside the top four with two games left. Hugh Roanoke and Kevin Hand both had decent opportunities that they couldn't take early on, but Maddie Gordon finally found the breakthrough in the second half after sidestepping a surprisingly clumsy Liam West and simply charging past the rest of the defence. Richard Dale, who had the only serious opportunity to make the scoreline 1-1, saw his attempt fall into the stands.
Indy's loss could be Grand Beach's gain. They once again strolled away from their Juventud tie with a three-goal win to make their place in the IFCF spots more secure - if that isn't already an oxymoron. Rachel McNamara was on good form again today, striking twice in the first twenty minutes, before Liz Harris added to the tally after the break. Although Tim Hart headed past Julia Atherton for his first goal and curled a great shot into the top corner with his second, they were of no effect as Harris struck at the near post to make the score 4-1 before Patrick Budd put a seal on things by popping up with a goal from a corner.
Army and Navy are willing to improve. They experienced their first win in three, albeit a hard-fought one, when they hosted the Golden Unicorn this afternoon. Aidan Harris, hardly at his best this season, misfired a couple of times and a venturing Victor Bone sent a promising effort wide of the mark, but substitute winger Alan Hebblethwaite - having won a foul against Amanda Thorpe with fifteen minutes left - controlled and volleyed in another Matthew Carson free-kick to make sure the Soldiers collected maximum points.
Good Hope have pulled clear in seventh. Although we can hardly report earth-shattering news from the Workers' Coliseum, Nova Aegis look doomed to once again become the "least best of the rest" following a poor defeat against Good Hope Club. The Seasiders quickly went 1-0 up courtesy of a powerful goal by Jack Smith, but failed to make various opportunities by Smith, Anthony York and Charlotte Bryant count. The best chance to double their lead came early in the second half after Amelia Lane's dismissal, but Sarah Daltrey's free kick smacked the post and bobbled out of play for a goal kick.

Saint Eleanor League, round sixteen

Army and Navy 1 (Alan Hebblethwaite goal 74')
Golden Unicorn 0

Juventud 2 (Tim Hart goals 63' and 82')
Grand Beach 5 (Rachel McNamara goals 8' and 26', Liz Harris goals 52' and 73', Patrick Budd goal 88')

Occidental Olympic 5 (Steve Pilchard goals 14' and 35', Adam Denby goal 25', Samuel Short goal 52', Exandra Davies goal 74')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 2 (Fred Newton goals 7' and 66')

Nova Aegis 0 (Amelia Lane red card 52')
Good Hope Club 1 (Jack Smith goal 28')

Sword and Shield 1 (Maddie Gordon goal 67')
Independence 1975 0

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 17 of SEL 1998
As smartly presented by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 17th October 1998

The Saint Eleanor League as it stands

1. Occidental Olympic: 35pts, +20GD (next match: Independence 1975, H)
----------
2. Sword and Shield: 35pts, +10GD (next match: Nova Aegis, A)
3. Athletic Saint Eleanor: 32pts, +11GD (next match: Golden Unicorn, A)
4. Grand Beach: 32pts, +9GD (next match: Army and Navy, A)
----------
5. Independence 1975: 31pts, +8GD (next match: Occidental Olympic, A)
6. Army and Navy: 22pts, 0GD (next match: Grand Beach, H)
It's most to play for next week. The title race is realistically between Occidental Olympic (who must win) and Sword and Shield (who must beat Olympic's result, or - and this is very unlikely - win or lose along with them and hope for a huge goal difference swing). Athletic Saint Eleanor and Grand Beach can also win the title with similar swings, along with victories for Independence 1975 and Nova Aegis. Indy, who are the other team in IFCF contention but have disappointed, are at real risk of missing out: they must win and hope that one of Grand Beach or their long-standing rivals Athletic falter, or draw and hope for one of them to suffer a crushing defeat. Juventud will finish tenth, as they almost always do these days.
I can't wait. Can you?
Seriously.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
It's 7pm right now. My new contract says I can go now. See you lot next week.

Saint Eleanor League, round seventeen

Sword and Shield 2 (Stanley Longley goal 14', Jessica Martin goal 69')
Army and Navy 1 (Susanna Michaels goal 64')

Independence 1975 1 (Sophie Wilton goal 58')
Nova Aegis 0

Good Hope Club 3 (Jack Smith goal 21', Charlotte Bryant goal 44', Sarah Daltrey goal 53')
Occidental Olympic 3 (Kerry Otterson goal 62', Dekamela weMexala goals 66' and 90')

Athletic Saint Eleanor 4 (Fred Newton goals 29' and 54', Thomas Freeman goal 70', Charlie Dell goal 82')
Juventud 2 (Michael Kent own goal 60', Stella Boldman goal 75')

Grand Beach 1 (Robert Williams goal 83')
Golden Unicorn 0

High Five: The most important things you need to know about Round 18 of SEL 1998
As conclusively announced by Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers
Originally published on Saturday 24th October 1998

Occidental Olympic vs Independence 1975 was important. Occidental Olympic needed a win, or something along those lines, to secure their inaugural Saint Eleanor League. It looked as though they would do it when Steve Pilchard, and then Adam Denby, both flummoxed John Bailey to give the Westerners a 2-0 lead within fifteen minutes. But Henry Green, the better of Indy's two strikers, came up with a left-footed volley in the first half and a sublime curler in the second to level things up, before James Trott nailed a free kick given as a result of Mike Derry denying a flagrantly obvious goalscoring opportunity to put his side ahead and (based on results in Bramblewood) hand Sword and Shield the title. This looked to be the case for twenty minutes until, deeper into stoppage time than all but two other players in the history of the Saint Eleanor League, Olympic holding midfielder Bridget Coombe - who had set up her team's second goal - lifted herself above almost everybody else in the Independence 1975 penalty area to score their third, restore parity and deliver a historic title to Parkside. Remember the name... although I'll grant you she's only the sixth most prominent member of the squad, so you might not.
Nova Aegis vs Sword and Shield was important. Sword and Shield, for all intents and purposes, needed to win and hope that Olympic didn't if they were to hoist aloft their first title in five years. The Collegiates did not, in fact, win. Greg Mallett came up with his first goal of the season, as a Stephen Jones corner was misheaded by George Guest, allowing him to prod in an opener. Although fellow winger Jessica Martin finessed a good shot past Stephen Wright later in the first half, they were unable to come up with the killer touch in the second. Fatal, no matter which way you look at it.
Golden Unicorn vs Athletic Saint Eleanor was important. Athletic, in all likelihood, needed a point to seal their place in the IFCF Challengers' Cup for a third consecutive season. The Unicorn needed nothing other than some end-of-season fun after yet another mediocre season, but they needed a point to guarantee a finish above Nova Aegis. Therefore, both teams got a point, with John Tresco's point-blank header cancelled out by Wayne Crawshaw's point-blank header. And some other things before that which I won't go through here.
Army and Navy vs Grand Beach was important. This, too, was a matter of playing for the multiverse against playing for pride, a battle of the third-best defence against the finest. This time, however, the Soldiers were sincerely contrite and almost ever-so-sorry for their earlier capitulations. Aidan Harris enjoyed his first and last good game of the season: netting twice in each half, having what would have been a hattrick goal ruled out for a foul in the buildup, setting up Jen Smith for the third goal, and almost singlehandedly ending Grand Beach's dream of a return to the Challengers' Cup in the process. This was not a good day to be a Julia Atherton.
Juventud vs Good Hope Club was not important. Parker scored twice, Hart scored one, Smith scored two, York netted one, Walter banged one in, and Bryant made her contribution in the fourth of three alloted minutes of first-half stoppage time. This decided the square root of nothing. Nobody cared. No wonder.

Saint Eleanor League, round eighteen

Army and Navy 3 (Aidan Harris goals 18' and 56', Jennifer Smith goal 60')
Grand Beach 0

Golden Unicorn 3 (Melcheta Pazorzal goals 35' and 70', Wayne Crawshaw goal 84')
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3 (Harriet Williams missed penalty 12', Fred Newton goal 44', Ryan Bacon goal 62', John Tresco goal 87')

Juventud 3 (Tim Hart goals 42', Keith Parker goals 57' and 70')
Good Hope Club 5 (Robert Walter goal 22', Jack Smith goals 35' and 60', Charlotte Bryant goal 45+5', Anthony York goal 80')

Occidental Olympic 3 (Steve Pilchard goal 7', Adam Denby goal 15', Mike Derry red card 77', Bridget Coombe goal 90+8')
Independence 1975 3 (Henry Green goals 42' and 60', James Trott goal 78')

Nova Aegis 1 (Greg Mallett goal 3')
Sword and Shield 1 (Jessica Martin goal 27')

Occidental Olympic win the 1998 Saint Eleanor League

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 12:19 am

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998 - Final Table

The Saint Eleanor League of 1998     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Occidental Olympic                 18   11   3   4    49   29  +20    36    Champions' League 10
 2 Sword and Shield                   18   11   3   4    41   31  +10    36    Challengers' Cup 10
 3 Athletic Saint Eleanor             18   10   3   5    45   34  +11    33    Challengers' Cup 10
 4 Independence 1975                  18    9   5   4    22   14   +8    32    Challengers' Cup 10
 5 Grand Beach                        18   10   2   6    22   16   +6    32
 6 Army and Navy                      18    8   1   9    24   21   +3    25
 7 Good Hope Club                     18    7   3   8    24   32   −8    24
 8 Golden Unicorn                     18    5   3  10    23   31   −8    18
 9 Nova Aegis                         18    4   3  11    19   30  −11    15
10 Juventud                           18    1   2  15    17   48  −31     5    Jacob Hoskin Award for Failure

OOC: Posting this here for personal reference, not for IFCF purposes.

Saint Eleanor (EXT) qualifiers
Primary association
IFCF competitions:
Champions' League 10: Occidental Olympic
Challengers' Cup 10: Sword and Shield, Athletic Saint Eleanor, Independence 1975
Cup Winners' Cup 58: University College
Rising Stars Cup 10: University College

(Note to the Council: Should Occidental Olympic make the CL10 group stages, please enter Parkside CS - not Occidental Olympic - into the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 10.)

Saint Eleanor (EXT) final site bids

Liga B Champions' Trophy 10: University Grounds, Saint Eleanor (capacity 35,174)

Sword and Shield, this year's Saint Eleanor League (SEL) runners-up, play their home matches at the University Grounds. They are, by a matter of months, the oldest stadium in active use in professional Eleanorian football. Constructed in 1958 under Tinhamptonian rule, they were largely destroyed by insurgent forces from the National Liberation Front during the War of Independence in 1975, but were rebuilt four years later with a much larger capacity and a completely different design in anticipation of hosting SEL games.

The University Grounds today are arguably more similar to the Collegiates' temporary late-1970s home, The Old Field, to the extent that Sword and Shield legend Jessica Martin drily referred to it as "The New Field" in a press conference in 1994. The comparison may be warranted, but is slightly unfair: although the South, East and West stands are separate and surprisingly close to the field - especially the West Stand - they are also maintained well and regularly, and are covered by one roof. The Ray Sunnyvale Stand (in honour of the club's first SEL-era manager), although slightly more distant to accomodate such niceties as the technical areas, is taller, deeper, has its own dedicated roof, and is almost universally considered to be the best stand in the Grounds.

Should this bid be successful, the University Grounds will also host the semifinals and final of Rising Stars Cup 10 in "a combined week-long event." The Saint Eleanor Football Association believes that they would be well-equipped for this challenging task in multiple aspects. University College, a secondary school which (like Sword and Shield) is run by the University of Saint Eleanor and is also S&S's youth team, also has one of the more notable development programs in Eleanorian football; although UC's star has faded in recent years, optimism is rising as they are the holders of the Charles Trump Shield once again this year and will be taking part in RSC10.

In addition, the Grounds are located in Collegiate district in north-central Saint Eleanor city: ideally positioned between the government headquarters in Central district and Dignity Cross shopping centre in Brightway, easily accessible from the airport via road or the Saint Eleanor Metro's Purple Line, and within touching distance of some of the city's larger guest accomodations (as well as copious fast-food restaurants that normally serve hungry students).

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:09 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 1999

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, which was coincidentally the year that the Saint Eleanor Schools League was discontinued by the FA on the grounds that it sought a "fair and equitable schools competition." However, it has only counted towards the IFCF Rising Stars Cup (RSC) since 1998, in time for RSC 10, and the Vilitan Cove Invitational (VCI) from the following year; attempts to submit 1998 winners University College to the Cup Winners' Cup collapsed on the basis that the Shield was a youth, non-league competition whose winners had been rightly entered into the RSC regardless - they made the quarterfinals of that anyway.

It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 48 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools. Liberty and the other four best teams from the previous year (the University College, Saint Benedict's Catholic, the Army School and Parkside Community School) enter in the third round/round of sixteen; the rest begin from the first round. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 1999 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1982. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's RSC and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s go on to win the RSC, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's RSC. Teams entered into the VCI in one year, and reinvited the next by virtue of being finalists, may choose to re-enter their original participant team or to submit the current year's slate nonetheless.

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, which is owned by the government of Squidroidia. The trials have varying levels of success, but at least one or two players are somehow offered contracts through these means every year.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
Broadlands CS 2–1 Brightway CS
Richardgate CS 0–1 Whitehammer CS
New Bayside CS 0–3 Trident CS
Carpentersville CS 0–2 Newbanks CS
Grand Beach CS 2–1 New Lizard CS
Bramblewood CS 4–2 Marketplace CS
Elsmouth CS 1–1 North Seville CS (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Millerham CS 1–1 Bonpool CS (1–2 AET)
New St Paul CS 1–0 Springfield CS
Airport CS 2–0 Allington CS
Eleanorian Academy 3–3 Goldsmiths CS (3–3 AET) (4–1 pen.)
Tannerton CS 0–0 Farbend CS (1–0 AET)
Mount Dennis CS 0–2 Wellington CS
Crownedhead CS 1–3 St George CS
Girls' Preparatory 0–2 Blackwood CS
Queenston CS 2–3 Magna CS
Silverton CS 3–2 Eastern Fell CS
Sunset Gates CS 0–1 Bishopgate CS
Holland CS 1–1 Deepchester CS (1–2 AET)
Williamstown CS 1–2 Jacobville CS
Buckhead CS 0–1 Boys' Preparatory
Oaktree CS 4–1 St Paul CS

Round 2
Trident CS 8–2 Bishopgate CS
Tannerton CS 1–1 Bramblewood CS (2–1 AET)
Silverton CS 2–0 Magna CS
Jacobville CS 0–1 Boys' Preparatory
Newbanks CS 3–0 Blackwood CS
Eleanorian Academy 3–2 St George CS
Bonpool CS 2–2 Oaktree CS (2–2 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Wellington CS 3–1 Broadlands CS
Elsmouth CS 1–2 Deepchester CS
Airport CS 0–4 Whitehammer CS
Grand Beach CS 3–2 New St Paul CS

Round 3
Silverton CS 0–1 Whitehammer CS
Boys' Preparatory 3–3 Saint Benedict's Catholic (3–3 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Grand Beach CS 5–2 Army School
Trident CS 0–1 Newbanks CS
University College 0–2 Oaktree CS
Tannerton CS 2–3 Eleanorian Academy
Wellington CS 1–3 Liberty
Deepchester CS 1–1 Parkside CS (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)

Lily Houston of Saint Benedict's Catholic is the fourth goalkeeper to score in the history of the Charles Trump Shield. With Ben's a goal down and three minutes of stoppage time played already, a wayward effort from midfielder Sam Cooper clipped off the Prep's Phil Macgill, forcing a corner. Cooper promptly placed the ball on the spot and - well aware of the realities on the ground - decided to call Houston up for the corner. The decision paid off: after another deflection, the ball came to striker Harry Smith, who forced BP keeper Victor Rowe into a spectacular save. It wasn't as spectacular as what came afterwards, however, as Houston took advantage of the situation at the near post to head the ball in from a few yards out. She didn't even have to lift her 5'10'' frame off the ground! We won't see much more from the young custodian, however: she told her school's in-house newsletter before the summer holidays that she's thinking of a career in finance and accounting.

Round 4
Liberty 3–1 Oaktree CS
[Simon McElvenny 43' and 88', Clara Blantyre 67'; Sam Trellis 28']
Boys' Preparatory 2–1 Grand Beach CS
[Harry Smith 19', Dominic Bennet 34'; Noprealta voClanelia 61']
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Newbanks CS
[David Gordon 71' (og)]
Eleanorian Academy 0–2 Parkside CS
[David Key 15', Glenn French 39']

Liberty, the Boys' Preparatory, Whitehammer Community School, Parkside Community School and Newbanks Community School (chosen over Grand Beach on defensive record) will be automatically entered into the third round of the 2000 Charles Trump Shield.

Semifinals
Parkside CS 4–3 Liberty
[Kieran Exley 30', David Key 42' and 73', Sophie Browning 82'; Clara Blantyre 22' and 56', John Field 75']
Boys' Preparatory 2–1 Whitehammer CS
[Jim Farrell 3', Harry Smith 54'; Anna Dart 31']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 1999 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and presumptively successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Boys' Preparatory 1–2 Parkside CS ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (47,318 in attendance)
[Dominic Bennet 73'; David Key 60', Heather Blake 88']

Saint Eleanor will enter Parkside CS, the winners of the 1999 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 11. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Joe Carpenter [GK; he/him]; 2. Ryan Richards [LB; he/him]; 3. Ravexera Weloparela [CB; she/her]; 4. Mike Pringle [CB; he/him]; 5. Barbara Gunn [RB; she/her]; 6. Sophie Browning [LM; she/her]; 7. Heather Blake [CM; she/her]; 8. Glenn French [CM; captain; he/him]; 9. Kieran Exley [ST; he/him]; 10. David Key [ST; he/him]; 11. Alan Masterson [RM; he/him]; 12. Natalia Spelthorne [GK; she/her]; 13. Gary Fox [CB; he/him]; 14. Rachel Brunning [LB; she/her]; 15. Keith Mewis [CM; he/him]; 16. Philip Black [CM; he/him]; 17. Laura Stephens [ST; she/her]; 18. John Bourne [RM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Kenneth Northcroft [he/him].

Parkside CS will play their home matches in the RSC at Galton Park in Parkside district, seated capacity 800. Occidental Olympic, Parkside's parent club, train at the Park; a 15-minute walk from Parkside metro station, it has a relaxed and relatively quiet atmosphere, with a single uncovered stand at the wide end of the pitch. There are some minor safety concerns - the seats are prone to spontaneously breaking, as Olympic fan and Vice-President Charlotte Morgan found out to her peril in an incident that made The Reporter's front page in August 1991, while a lack of netting in any direction leads to regular lost balls - but Parkside District Council insists that they are trying to "reduce wasteful expenditure" and have offered reassurances of "an improved match experience in the new millennium."

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is David Key. Who else? Key was on fire for Parkside in the Shield, converting the winning penalty in their last-sixteen tie against an unfancied Deepchester, scoring five of the Westerners' nine goals - from a surprisingly simple tap-in from five yards out against the Eleanorian Academy to a ravishing free kick to complete a first half mini-comeback against Liberty - and having a hand in three of their other four. It is one thing to do this against your classmates who might not like football as much; another to do so against some of the finest seventeen-year-olds Saint Eleanor has to offer. Surely a contract with Olympic beckons in 2001.

For recording the largest win at the 1999 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of Trident CS into Vilitan Cove Invitational 15. (Their crest is also depicted to the right.)

Into the other battle ride the following, even more unsuspecting teenagers: 1. William Darling [GK; he/him]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; captain; she/her]; 3. Duncan Jackson [RB; he/him]; 4. Arenexala veWalepiral [CB; she/her]; 5. Steve Harbrough [CB; he/him]; 6. Carrie Holliday [CM; she/her]; 7. Naferala paVepexala [CM; he/him]; 8. Liz Gardner [CM; she/her]; 9. Matthew Whitehouse [LM; he/him]; 10. Amanda Cleveland [ST; she/her]; 11. Aaron Burrow [RM; he/him]; 12. Carla Painter [CB; she/her]; 13. Dan Perris [GK; he/him]; 14. Louis Roderick [RB; he/him]; 15. Jonathan Sims [CM; he/him]; 16. Tracy Buxton [CM; she/her]; 17. Isabelle Saltburn [LM; she/her]; 18. Robert Marks [ST; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Gerald Milligan [he/him].

Trident CS will play their home matches in the VCI at The Good Hope Stadium in Trident district, seated capacity 22,174. The Stadium hosts Good Hope Club, one of the Saint Eleanor League's twelve clubs; it is a fairly generic ground with four rectangular, covered ends. By deduction, it is not particularly fancy; nothing in Trident is. It isn't even 20% full for most of the School's games.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Apr 18, 2022 10:29 pm

Unimportant OOC legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS AFOREMENTIONED] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Eleanorian WC91 roster, bolded names introduced post-CoH82, all clubs accurate as of '99: 1. John BAILEY (GK; Independence 1975), 2. Cathy WINCHESTER (LB; Indy), 3. Exandra DAVIES (RB; Occidental Olympic), 4. Sam NEWBRIDGE (CB; Grand Beach), 5. Liam WEST (CB; Indy; still captain), 6. Harriet WILLIAMS (CM; Athletic Saint Eleanor), 7. David NEWCASTLE (LM; Indy), 8. Steve PILCHARD (CM; Olympic), 9. Katie O'DONNELL (ST; Kitara AA [Banija]), 10. Dekamela weMEXALA (ST; Olympic), 11. Jessica MARTIN (RM; Sword and Shield), 12. Darren BATCHELOR (RM; Army and Navy), 13. Georgia WOOD (GK; Golden Unicorn), 14. Hugh ROANOKE (LM; S&S), 15. Alice CHRISTOPHER (CM; Indy), 16. Laura BROWN (CB; Good Hope Club), 17. Adam DENBY (ST; Olympic), 18. Luke ELLIOTT (CB; Indy), 19. Bridget COOMBE (CM; Olympic), 20. Naresmet taFREXALA (RB; Athletic), 21. Alan ELDRIDGE (LB; A&N), 22. Melcheta PAZORZAL (ST; Unicorn), 23. Brian TARRANT (GK; A&N).

I guarantee no RP beyond The Showcase (Saint Eleanor's new cup), Arielle Richardson's Diary (a pithy-ish writeup of RSC10), and a season review.

See a player without a like-for-like substitute? For obvious reasons, any subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary (or "required" by their manager).

The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.

Saint Eleanor League 1999 preview: All change - or no change at all?
Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers, scientifically proves that this year's SEL will be the best ever contested
Originally published on Sunday 24th January 1999

Did you know that...

SEFA now requires SEL goalkeeper kits to be all-grey?

No Eleanorian club has ever made it past the fourth qualifying round of the Challengers' Cup?

Fourteen overseas players joined the SEL this winter? Thankfully not all at once.

Occidental Olympic's title last season was their first-ever top-three finish?

Elissa Curry was almost traded away to Omnio of Chromatika last month? APPARENTLY.

Expect the unexpected... or don't. What should have been another epic title battle between Indy and Athletic turned into a quasi-damn catfight for third, with Olympic surprisingly edging out Arsenal to the title. Now two new teams promise to shake up the League, one more than the other, while the other possible challengers have wheeled and dealed in the transfer market... bar one, that is. Everybody has their own expectations for this year, but can we fulfil them all? Not unless we boot up the games console.

This being the real world and the real Saint Eleanor League, however, we'll tell you what you're really in for: twelve teams and a couple of hundred players and managers fighting it out for glory, midtable semi-significance, and sometimes tenth place in the table. Our leading television, radio and online coverage that we've presented since it was even possible will come in clutch at the end of the second millennium, too - so don't miss out there, even if you can't go to the games.

Of course, the starting lineups for each team go from 1 to 11 (with substitutes wearing 12 to 18); lineups are good for the 10th IFCF cycle; the ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 1999 (and how old the foreigners were when we last checked); all players and managers are human, and from

Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated; and all players with underlined names play for their national team.

Occidental Olympic - "The Westerners" (1998: 1st in the league [36 points, +20 goal difference])

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Barker [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 3. Exandra Davies [RB; 25yo; she/her]; 4. Scarlett Gilbert [CB; 31yo; she/her]; 5. Ottilia Berg [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Bridget Coombe [CDM; 24yo; she/her]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 31yo; he/him]; 9. Adam Denby [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [CAM; 22yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. John McDonald [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 13. Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh [LB; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Shaun Trellis [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 16. Laetitia Bryant [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Manager: Fetakela Manuta [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [44yo; he/him]: A goalscoring midfielder (not in the Jensenian sense) as a player, the Sochean and adoptive Tinhamptonian has steered the Westerners since 1993; despite his preference for a neutral, pragmatic style, he has lately deployed a more attacking strategy. Not only is it popular - it's the most successful approach in club history.
Generally supported by: Hipsters living in Parkside; people who complain about hipsters living in Parkside; Vice-President Charlotte Morgan.
1998 grade: A+. What else? Most had Olympic down as "fourth at best;" that suspicion surely persisted during the opening third. Manuta and company caught lightning in a bottle after that, however, racking up several huge wins - and a sorry draw to Juventud - to ultimately squeeze the Collegiates. Not the boldest way to win a title, all told, but definitely how to disprove your doubters.
What to expect: Regression. Clinching the title in spectacular fashion largely erased a few years' memories of okay-but-not-okay league performances - and led to Priscilla Evans calling up a few of their players to the White Stars, too. This is a good team, but not better than any of the other contenders like before: put them down in the Challengers' Cup spots, then watch as they make a decent international run.
Who to watch: Just about everyone. Barker gets his first consistent starts this year; Fâerçâlenh is a refugee from Shaleport Rangers, who dropped from Brenecia's B-League; Berg is a refugee from Titanderth, who dropped from Pasarga's SuperLiga; Davies probably wants to become a refugee from Occidental Olympic soon-ish; the front three are unlikely to escape anything any time soon. Coombe will largely hide in the shadows, although people will be watching 1999 highlight reels a few decades from now and asking why she's on all of them.

Sword and Shield - "The Collegiates" (1998: 2nd in the league [36 points, +10 goal difference]; second qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup [4-2 win vs Pesetih Titih (PCU); 2-1 loss vs Lonngeylin Coast (VIL)])

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Will Francis [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 2. Luke Gregory [LB; 36yo; he/him]; 3. Paul Ferry [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 23yo; he/him]; 6. Kevin Hand [CM; 36yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Alex Rounds [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 9. Stanley Longley [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 29yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [CAPTAIN] [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Christine Terrence [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Ivan Brown [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Jon Levitt [RM; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Dan Brook [ST; 27yo; he/him]
Manager: Abraham Straw [49yo; he/him]: You'd imagine what happened last year would lead to the complete opposite of complacency... not if you're this fellow. Some allege Poly-sponsored sabotage; a simpler explanation is that he's doomed, can't be bothered, never saw '98 coming, and has tried and failed to mimic what Pittam called a certain "Kandorese no-name." Thank you, please come again.
Generally supported by: Students at the University; people who write diatribes about "anti-football;" people who think that Premium Coffee would be better named Discount Coffee.
1998 grade: A-. Sword and Shield have underperformed since their title win six years ago; that this, hardly their best squad since then, only missed a fourth league title on goal difference was incredible. Getting eleven points off the rest of the Big Four and an opening-day win against the Westerners definitely helped.
What to expect: Struggle. Straw, apparently overtrusting in University College's class of '98 (and a certain princess), has done naught in the way of wheeling and dealing as the other potential title contenders have - rather evidently - improved. Don't expect a repeat of last year's performances. Do expect the league's largest blame game and a lot of heads rolling before 2000 comes.
Who to watch: Jessica Martin, more than a decent all-round winger, has been a perenially good shout over the past five or six years - else, pickings are slim. There is, of course, Roanoke (many times the player Parkinson even wanted to be), alongwide solid centreback Sam Walcott and solid almost-a-centreback Chris Terrence. Kilkenny is good, but not that good. The careers of many starters, especially Ferry, are over or thereabouts.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic" (1998: 3rd in the league [33 points, +11 goal difference]; first qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup [4-3 loss vs Serrapince FC (TMB)])

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [RB; 23yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Michael Kent [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Charlie Dell [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [CAPTAIN] [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 31yo; she/her]; 10. Fred Newton [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Lauren Pell [RM; 25yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 27yo; she/her]; 13. Cameron Barry [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 15. Graham Lawson [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Ryan Bacon [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Thomas Freeman [CM; 35yo; he/him]
Manager: Adam Woolley [51yo; he/him]: As many Olympic and Athletic players have testified in recent years, Woolley can talk the talk. He must, however, finally walk the walk - or else the Eleanorian Chambers of Commerce might ram through a new manager. Perhaps even a literal manager.
Generally supported by: Business owners; most of the middle-class people that aren't supporting Golden Unicorn already; people who prefer privately-owned pubs to National Liberation Front Clubs.
1998 grade: A-. Their squad last year was probably good enough to have won the league, but most pivotally given an epic collapse against Sword and Shield and a breakdown of communications against Grand Beach, it was not to be. Getting Rekan Wlad Wlad in for a retiring Sarah Jenkins was a good play to plug last year's leakiest non-Juventud defence; getting Champions' League winner Nightingale in for Katie O'Donnell, doomed to spend years behind Dewa Putu Mahardika at Kitara AA, a better one. Or not.
What to expect: Triumph. Having not hoisted the league trophy since 1994, the men in red need it... and fast. Although their Eleanorian international contingent is surprisingly small this time around, their new signings from elsewhere - and a couple of decent promotees from the youth team - are at least as good, and may ultimately see them through against a field that should be about as competitive as last year.
Who to watch: All eyes are on the imports for good reason and then some. Harriet Williams will, however, continue to excel as Athletic's resident Some Sort of Arguable Playmakery Thing. Elissa Curry, heralded by exactly two-and-a-quarter people as the heiress to Paul Johnson (like he was any good), will have no problems joining taFrexala in going forward, crossing sometimes... and defending, if asked.

Independence 1975 - "The Liberators" (1998: 4th in the league [32 points, +8 goal difference]; second qualifying round of the IFCF Champions' League [3-1 win vs SC Jiangdong (YZH); 4-3 loss vs CF Bondstad (TSA)], third qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup [2[5]-2[4] loss vs Marine Coast United (VIL)])

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. John Bailey [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 5. Luke Elliott [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Liam West [CAPTAIN] [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Alice Christopher [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Sophie Wilton [ST; 29yo; she/her]; 10. Henry Green [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Bobby Smith [RM; 31yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dan Davis [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 27yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 17. Richard Dale [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Manager: Derek Pittam [63yo; he/him]: The Liberators' third and possibly least militant manager in their 23-year history still isn't a pushover, having varied team tactics around the mild end of the defensive spectrum for a few years while keeping a close - if not near-overbearing - eye on his players. Yet in light of a poor 1998 performance, expect more drastic measures; he might just hang on.
Generally supported by: Government officials; unquestioning Government followers; the 10% of the country that lives outside Saint Eleanor city; President George Mitcham.
1998 grade: C-. The only three-time defending champions in Eleanorian history - and the second back-to-back winners after 1981-82's Army and Navy - should not have had an average year. Yet a sorry exit in the Challengers' Cup third qualifying round, on top of being stuck in fifth or sixth for most of the year (before scraping ahead of Grand Beach on goal difference), more than merited that. Pittam appears to have bought into the common wisdom that his squad was getting too familiar and in need of a shakeup, but perhaps not enough.
What to expect: Scaffolding. This team is naturally about as good as the one that came before it, and only somewhat better odds to win the title. Resilience - perhaps even bouncebackability - will play a great role in determining whether they do so, and while they have surely tamed it over the course of 1998, questions can and should be asked about whether they will let go. If they do, collapse looms.
Who to watch: Layla Grover, a disgruntled ex-Mountaineer who only wanted some game time, will in fact be getting an awful lot of it (when she isn't suspended). The usual suspects must impress, or at least try their best given the circumstances: the centrebacks are aging but not really declining, Christopher will provide much-needed seniority in midfield with Trott sold off to the PREMIER umbrella, and Winchester has apparently improved a fair bit.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" (1998: 5th in the league [32 points, +6 goal difference])

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Will Edgebrook [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 30yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [CAPTAIN] [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 23yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 10. Patrick Budd [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 11. Tim Brandon [RM; 23yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CB; 30yo; she/her]; 15. Norman Pratt [LB; 35yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 27yo; she/her]; 17. Sara Halbrook [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 19yo; he/him]
Manager: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [42yo; she/her]: Unsurprisingly eager to have the last word throughout her career, Atherton captained Tinhampton to their only international silverware; a few, more eager fans are fully convinced she would have led them to World Cup glory too had she not inexplicably plunged the local FA into collapse*. Despite inheriting the same squad as last year, less one Julia Atherton, she is nonetheless expected to continue the good work started by Adam Salt... who remains in an advisory capacity. Don't ask why Salt isn't staying. Greggy W has his ways.
Generally supported by: People living in and around Grand Beach; many Tinhamptonian expats (courtesy Atherton).
1998 grade: B+. After what happened against Juventud in 1997, Grand Beach's stoicism should have paid more dividends in '98: they stayed fourth for most of the year, securing an impressive win at Northwest Road and much less impressive wins against the rest of the Big Four... once. The final-day collapse against a sloppy Army and Navy, one of the most winnable matches of the season, hurt - although the squad is mostly united on fighting to somehow right those particular wrongs.
What to expect: Stodge. Atherton's "promotion" to manager will be welcomed by some 40% of those surveyed. Many suspect she'll continue to lead the Dolphins to fifth-ish, a sensible long-run trajectory. Some feel her retirement as a player will hurt what were and are her teammates, although that appears unlikely. A few think she'll be a shoutier, more pragmatic Salt, which is certainly possible. And, of course, some of them fear she'll destroy Grand Beach again - which she won't, for reference.
Who to watch: The squad is getting on a bit; not a lot, of course. Just-capped Newbridge is a furious counterpart to the more relaxed West at the White Stars and McArthur at Albion Road, to name a fresh example. And if the club can hold speed demon Brandon, strongwoman Harris and typically refined - almost Evans-like - striker McNamara, it may be astonishingly well-set for a future tactical U-turn. Not the kind of legacy Atherton wants.

*: Yes, I know. The promotion turned out much less time-intensive than I thought, mostly because I started telling colleagues not to rush complaints to me about ten weeks into the job.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" (1998: 6th in the league [25 points, +3 goal difference]; first qualifying round of the IFCF Challengers' Cup [6-1 loss vs Lakewood United (TMB)]) - All players are members of the

Eleanorian Army

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Private; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [LB; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 4. Jennifer Smith [CM; Corporal; 28yo; she/her]; 5. Ken Wilkie [CB; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Susanna Michaels [CB; Corporal; 30yo; she/her]; 7. Evan Donald [LM; Lance-Corporal; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Matthew Carson [CM; Sergeant; 36yo; he/him]; 9. Aidan Harris [CAPTAIN] [ST; Corporal; 33yo; he/him]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Darren Batchelor [RM; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Jordan Ellis [GK; Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 13. Tom Wilkinson [CB; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 23yo; she/her]; 15. Eric Stone [CM; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; he/him]; 16. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 22yo; she/her]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Rick Carter [LM; Corporal; 34yo; he/him]
Manager: Roger Elliott [53yo; General; he/him]: When Elliott was appointed before the 1987 season began, Army and Navy - then packed with young War of Independence veterans - had won three of the 12 contested Saint Eleanor Leagues. Since then, only the Invincibles of 1990 have done so, for which he became a General. His adherence to A&N's traditions of organised, structured football has won little besides respect from players and fans; he supposedly hasn't been axed "because we're going through a phase."
Generally supported by: Members of the Eleanorian military, serving and retired; people who like defensively-minded football done right.
1998 grade: D. The Soldiers began their season with a 5-0 defeat to Tumbra's Lakewood United and carried on little better. Take your pick from a 50/50 record against Nova Aegis, dreadful "consistency" against the rest of the Big Four, a poor and injured Harris, or generally being sixth towards the end. This was as good as Sword and Shield's 1996 or Athletic's 1988, by which we mean it was crap.
What to expect: Improvement. With Batchelor back after a cataclysmic admin error that saw his replacement Angela Dixon dishonourably discharged and flogged off to Cassadaigua's Sterling Heights, the Soldiers have many reasons to be relieved. With a few stragglers, a couple of wannabes and Harris there for now, they have almost no reason to be. Betting on a return to the IFCF would be unwise.
Who to watch: The back five, of course: two of them are supposedly good enough for the national team bench, another could just about crack it, and the two centrebacks are nondescript enough to be almost iconic around these parts. Eric Stone, more creator than destroyer, should be subbed on a few times in preparation for life after Carson; likewise for friendly local poacher Bartley instead of Harris.

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Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" (1998: 7th in the league [24 points, -8 goal difference])

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-5-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 2. Joe Folsom [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 4. Dennis Jonas [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 5. Anthony York [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 28yo; she/her]; 7. Falareta Wesevta [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 27yo; she/her]; 10. Peter Simpson [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Jack Smith [ST; 30yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 13. Daniel Jenkins [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. Mary Kirkport [CB; 38yo; she/her]; 15. Kieran Gardner [RM; 29yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 17. Eric Morrison [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Manager: Millie Carter [42yo; she/her]: A quiet, unassuming, trusting and open figure, Carter went one better last time and led the Seasiders to seventh. Though they will likely be knocked off that perch by the two new clubs this time around, she is appreciated and will be hanging on for dear life anyway. Yes, they're that confident.
Generally supported by: People living in south-eastern Saint Eleanor; dockworkers; confuzzled holidaymakers.
1998 grade: B. The best Sky Blues in a while got their best season since coming sixth in 1992: despite winning just one of their first six and being almost as dirty as early-Salt Grand Beach, they got into the excellent habit of keeping things neat and competitive for the rest of the season - and could have leapfrogged Army and Navy without the copious early errors. They got Bridget Coombe sent off, too. This never happens. She's a nice and wonderful person who still lives with her parents and likes drinking green tea. How did this happen?
What to expect: Development. When I suggested this squad was rebuilding, I may just have been wrong. Good Hope were relatively brilliant, of course, but hardly superb compared to the rest of the league, and fast approaching or going past their peaks. This season won't be their most competitive, in light of this, and Carter deserves to go if she doesn't blood young locals like all of her predecessors have.
Who to watch: Hardly anyone. Serious questions have been raised about Downing, but she appears to have proven herself as capable enough, if that isn't an oxymoron. Wesevta is typically quick, the closest thing the team has to a second striker, and is 28 years old - somehow young for this lot. Bryant still can't decide where in central midfield she wants to play, which is probably a good idea.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" (1998: 8th in the league [18 points, -8 goal difference])

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [CAPTAIN] [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 2. Amanda Thorpe [LB; 37yo; she/her]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 4. Matt Shilling [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 7. Owen Prentice [RM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 10. Caitlynn Jones [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 11. Gionata Mariani [ST; 18yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Susie Furlong [CB; 29yo; she/her]; 15. Diana Ellison [RB; 30yo; she/her]; 16. Lee Molton [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 24yo; he/him]; 18. Jack Markham [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Manager: Ian Jones [56yo; he/him]: Tinhampton's player-manager between the 77th and 81st World Cups - and then assistant manager until the Miners bowed out of international football two cycles later - Jones was drafted in by the Unicorn's board after a torrid 1996 season. Emerald Fund Management's expectations of him are clear: Have a non-torrid 1999 season or get canned.
Generally supported by: Northern Saint Eleanor's affluent middle-class; the Tinhamptonian expats that don't like Julia Atherton; people who follow literally any sport other than football; people who follow football, but only for aesthetic reasons.
1998 grade: C+. Just acceptable, despite barely trumping Nova Aegis, as a decent early record was followed with a Clausura that would almost befit the Pink Falcons: victory against Good Hope and Juventud, a draw at Athletic, zilch elsewhere. The Unicorn should be reshooting the excellent advertisement they began with, not the dismal drama they finished with.
What to expect: Progress. Golden Unicorn has finally latched onto the yuletide trend of dumping okay players and nabbing good ones; Macbon's Gionata Mariani, who joined five of his capped AC Croscia fellows in free agency, is that good player and his career is hardly ending here. False dawns have happened in the League before, but the core remains (as it often does), they have improved, one of them's been called up to the White Stars and you wouldn't rule out a jostle for the IFCF.
Who to watch: Crawshaw is out and Mariani is in, expected to supply Pazorzal rather than create many chances himself (as if the league's youngest player would). Monaco was typically reliable and will be most remembered for her hattrick against Juventud, but expect her to crop up more this year. To much surprise, Wood raised a few eyebrows last season - admittedly for getting herself sent off against Indy, which she probably hopes won't happen again. At least she isn't in the Vilitan league, where an average of one goalkeeper every 20.5 games gets their marching orders. Yes, I did the maths.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" (1998: 9th in the league [15 points, -11 goal difference])

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stephen Wright [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Collins [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 29yo; she/her]; 4. Coluseris Dalousol [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Davina Salt [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [CB; 36yo; she/her]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 7. Greg Mallett [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Anne Hoar [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 31yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 34yo; he/him]; 11. Ronald Silliman [ST; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 13. Tracy Greenport [LB; 33yo; she/her]; 14. Pete Dervish [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 15. Susie Macintyre [LM; 28yo; she/her]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 17. David Lenham [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 27yo; she/her]
Manager: Cameron Jack [45yo; he/him]: Jack was supposed to be a caretaker and yet he's somehow managed to take over the entire nursery, as Nova Aegis "only" conceded two goals a game despite a poor attack. More of the same this year, please, of course, or he's out.
Generally supported by: Residents of Bramblewood or thereabouts; people who work for a sub-minimum wage; people who don't want a job, full stop.
1998 grade: C. Nova Aegis were once again competitive for eighth, and - once again - might have actually gotten there had they not spunked away the final third of their season as usual. Same story as most of the time, really.
What to expect: Consistency. This is almost a dirty word in club circles, but with Jack likely to become the first manager to complete a second season since 1983, four wins on the bounce last year and a stable (if slightly rebellious; witness Bryant) core of players, the Falcons might actually finish ahead of someone other than Juventud this time around.
Who to watch: George Guest, of course: the team's main man up front for around a decade and a half is not going to stop here and now. Otherwise, the big names remain the same even in a club that changes managers far more often than players: Lane has done an okay job in midfield recently, while Salt has forgotten none of her defensive basics and Collins is perhaps the only serious one for the future.

Juventud - "The Young" (1998: 10th in the league [5 points, -31 goal difference])

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Naveral gaBexpara [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Lucy Miller [RB; 20yo; she/her]; 4. Anna Butcher [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 6. Joey Roberts [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. James Holding [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Richards [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 9. Tim Hart [CAPTAIN] [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 10. Keith Parker [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Stella Boldman [RM; 21yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Michelle Grant [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Zack Renton [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Josh Samuels [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Wallace Hunter [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Daisy Woodley [LM; 20yo; she/her]; 18. Ella Holmes [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager: Paul Dennis [60yo; he/him]: A long-time professor of sports science at the Polytechnic (as well as the team manager since its inception two decades ago), Dennis can boast of a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their end-of-year exams, and sometimes good enough to carry on playing. This alleged expertise has not stopped his beloved club from never finishing in the top half.
Generally supported by: Students at the Polytechnic; bored scouts.
1998 grade: D+. Despite having a year roughly as bad as 1997, Juventud scored in each of their last four games and snatched two draws in a row immediately before that, including against eventual champions Olympic.
What to expect: Difficulty. The Polytechnic's representatives, despite being in the relative prime of their careers, must not only play four games against much superior debutants, but will continue to face outfits that have either solidified or improved drastically. One win and two draws again, surely?
Who to watch: Hart and Parker put in a good shift towards the end and will likely be Juventud's key players this year. Fulton was once again the least blameworthy member of the back four, while Bradley Holding's brother Lucas will be expected to try and make something that looks like an impact but isn't. The substitutes will invariably vanish into the aether to work as PE teachers, supermarket cashiers or taxi drivers.

Hiyashi Celestia - "The Angels" (1998: non-participants)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 4. Mike Derry [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 27yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 16. Richard King [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 23yo; she/her]; 18. Keith Surtees [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Manager: Rachel Schanke [36yo; she/her]: Arguably the biggest signing in Eleanorian history. The granddaughter of Jessica Schanke, who got the winner in the 51st World Cup final, Rachel was an iconic striker in her own right for Concord Heights City and Cassadaigua - notably scoring a hattrick in the Fillies' WC86 semifinal defeat to Nephara. Much less annoying than long-time national teammate Jenna Frontiera, we've also been told. Celestia say they gave her a managerial debut due to her "leadership experience;" most sceptics are entirely convinced they're cutting corners, and even she admitted that "they could have looked into other people."
Generally supported by: Local Hiyashi factory workers; non-local Hiyashi factory workers; Kandorese; over-ambitious gloryhunters.
1998 grade: C+. In typically Cassadagan fashion, Celestia tried and failed to splash the cash in December. They really got little more than Schanke's compatriot Nicole Morlock for a neat "little" sum and plausible Kandorese hyperstar Takeshi Honda for a fee so undisclosed it may have never happened. Senior figures are quietly optimistic, but words count for nothing in this game. I mean almost nothing. Please ignore this.
What to expect: Instantaneousness. Is that a word? I'll pretend it is. Despite earlier misgivings and a spate of factory "amateurs," half believe that Celestia have a nice, well-rounded, excellent-in-parts squad; the other half wants the enterprise to fuck off into somewhere. The manager has name recognition but no prior history of management, and the real management will not sack her within the first couple of seasons, absent ridiculously good cause which is unlikely to arise. Will they get the title they want? Don't rule it out.
Who to watch: Honda is the only player here to have led his country to the World Cup knockouts - twice - and will undoubtedly be the star turn, no thanks to the versatility that Kandorith manager Kaya Michiyu expects of the Golden Dragons' main striker. Proven SEL quantities Derry, Chelira and Forrest should make their own mark, while early training indicates that Galbraith's pace and occasional trickery puts him next to Mann's unexpectedly hard-hitting oversight as the best of the factory workers.

Newbanks United - "The Students" (1998: non-participants)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 2. Matt Johnson [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Kōji Katou [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 5. Bill Garton [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 21yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 24yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Paul Barring [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 13. Frank Sellin [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Polly Ground [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 15. Adam Simpson [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 16. Steve Parker [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 22yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Manager: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [51yo; he/him]: Graham was, in the most unimpressive sense possible, a strong, powerful, and distinctly above-average player - but never quite as good as Priscilla Evans, now manager of the national team. If those words don't define him as a manager by the time he's left, he's flopped.
Generally supported by: Disgruntled residents of the east-central city who've wanted a club for two decades; Squidroidian bureaucrats; probably the odd Squidroidian fan or two.
1998 grade: B+. The off-season was as good as United could have wanted: they became the first (known) club to be taken over by Squidroidia's government, received a few decent academy byproducts and got a more experienced compatriot from the market as well. Ian Graham, a veteran of old coloniser Tinhampton's finest hour, was drafted in as manager and many feel he hasn't done too badly.
What to expect: Acclimatisation. Unlike the league's other newcomers, United just want fun on a higher level than Juventud can dream of. For newly-released Squidroidians and newly-contracted Eleanorians alike (Crawshaw honourably excluded), the goal is to finish around literally midtable, not in the IFCF spots but not in the mud either. This much is true even if you're using a bell curve.
Who to watch: For many years Unicorn's bigger, powerfuller, stereotypicaller, and second-er striker, Crawshaw somehow fell off the map there and will now supply firepower to the next stop on the Mint Line of the metro. Long-time schoolfriends Francis and Woodhouse, described by a teacher as "Renaissance women," are sometimes adventurous, sometimes conservative - perhaps too much so. And the Squidroidians; we can't forget them, I'm told they're promising.

List of Saint Eleanor League winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 6
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

by **Saint Eleanor** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 10:21 pm

Matchday 1 (13th February)
Grand Beach 1–1 Good Hope Club
[Patrick Budd goal 62'; Falareta Wesevta goal 39']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Army and Navy
[Graham Lawson goal 79']
Newbanks United 4–1 Juventud
[Nobuyuki Ishida goals 11' and 59', Tash Banbury goal 33', Adrianna Murray goal 70'; Tim Hart goal 53']
Occidental Olympic 2–4 Sword and Shield
[Adam Denby goals 52' and 59', Chris Barker red card 73'; Jessica Martin goal 23', Hugh Roanoke goals 40' and 64', Jessica Martin missed penalty 74', Dan Brook goal 80']
Nova Aegis 0–1 Hiyashi Celestia
[Takeshi Honda goal 35']
Golden Unicorn 0–2 Independence 1975
[Henry Green goal 34', Luke Elliott goal 45+1']

Matchday 2 (20th February)
Good Hope Club 0–1 Independence 1975
[Sophie Wilton goal 71']
Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Golden Unicorn
[Joe Galbraith goal 21', Takeshi Honda missed penalty 88'; Melcheta Pazorzal goal 50']
Sword and Shield 1–1 Nova Aegis
[Jessica Martin goal 26'; George Guest goal 43']
Juventud 1–3 Occidental Olympic
[Keith Parker goal 19'; Steve Pilchard goals 13' and 77', Dekamela weMexala goal 61']
Army and Navy 2–1 Newbanks United
[Noah Chorley goals 3' and 40'; Hamnet Borisov goal 79']
Grand Beach 0–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[no goals]

Matchday 3 (27th February)
Athletic Saint Eleanor 6–2 Good Hope Club
[Nightingale goals 13', 35' and 79', Fred Newton goal 25', Wlad Wlad goal 51', Dennis Elton goal 84'; Charlotte Bryant goals 32' and 67']
Newbanks United 0–0 Grand Beach
[no goals]
Occidental Olympic 1–3 Army and Navy
[Dekamela weMexala goal 33'; Aidan Harris goal 17', Darren Batchelor goals 84' and 89']
Nova Aegis 3–0 Juventud
[George Guest goals 22', 51' and 59']
Golden Unicorn 1–2 Sword and Shield
[Melcheta Pazorzal goal 65'; Jessica Martin goal 43', Stanley Longley goal 72']
Independence 1975 1–0 Hiyashi Celestia
[Henry Green goal 66']

Matchday 4 (6th March)
Good Hope Club 1–2 Hiyashi Celestia
[Sarah Daltrey goal 78'; Takeshi Honda goals 29' and 42']
Sword and Shield 0–2 Independence 1975
[Sophie Wilton goal 59', David Newcastle goal 82']
Juventud 0–3 Golden Unicorn
[Melcheta Pazorzal goal 24', Gionata Mariani goal 71', Natalie Monaco goal 80']
Army and Navy 4–0 Nova Aegis
[Evan Donald goal 30', Noah Chorley goals 54' and 69', Matthew Carson goal 66' [pen]]
Grand Beach 1–5 Occidental Olympic
[Patrick Budd goal 74'; Adam Denby goals 28' and 46', Dekamela weMexala goals 39' and 68', Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 89']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Newbanks United
[Fred Newton goal 47']

Matchday 5 (13th March)
Newbanks United 1–0 Good Hope Club
[Nobuyuki Ishida goal 37']
Occidental Olympic 2–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Steve Pilchard goals 5' and 82'; Nightingale goals 23' and 72', Charlie Dell goal 51']
Nova Aegis 3–1 Grand Beach
[Anne Hoar goal 28', Ronald Silliman goal 53', George Guest goal 76'; Tim Brandon goal 67']
Golden Unicorn 1–0 Army and Navy
[Matt Shilling goal 43']
Independence 1975 2–1 Juventud
[Henry Green goal 31', Layla Grover red card 43', Keira Monaghan goal 58'; Lucas Richards goal 72']
Hiyashi Celestia 3–2 Sword and Shield
[Rick Goldsmith goal 18', Takeshi Honda goal 43', Richard King goal 77'; Hugh Roanoke goal 67', Jessica Martin goal 85']

Matchday 6 (20th March; arbitrary quarterway point)
Good Hope Club 3–2 Sword and Shield
[Peter Simpson goals 15' and 62', Sarah Daltrey goal 43'; Evan Kilkenny goal 55', Jon Levitt goal 90']
Juventud 1–2 Hiyashi Celestia
[Stella Boldman goal 52'; Takeshi Honda goal 26', Lydia Nicholls goal 78']
Army and Navy 1–0 Independence 1975
[Noah Chorley goal 77']
Grand Beach 1–1 Golden Unicorn
[Alex Martins goal 34' [pen], Alex Martins red card 68'; Gionata Mariani goal 21', Aaron Francis red card 33']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–0 Nova Aegis
[Nightingale goal 15', Harriet Williams goals 26' and 38']
Newbanks United 0–3 Occidental Olympic
[Adam Denby goals 31' and 78', Steve Pilchard goal 49']

SEL after 6 games played             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor              6    5   1   0    14    4  +10    16
 2 Independence 1975                   6    5   0   1     8    2   +6    15
 3 Hiyashi Celestia                    6    4   1   1     9    6   +3    13
 4 Army and Navy                       6    4   0   2    10    4   +6    12
 5 Occidental Olympic                  6    3   0   3    16   12   +4     9
 6 Golden Unicorn                      6    2   2   2     7    6   +1     8
 7 Sword and Shield                    6    2   1   3    11   12   −1     7
 8 Newbanks United                     6    2   1   3     6    7   −1     7
 9 Nova Aegis                          6    2   1   3     7   10   −3     7
10 Good Hope Club                      6    1   1   4     7   13   −6     4
11 Grand Beach                         6    0   4   2     4   10   −6     4
12 Juventud                            6    0   0   6     4   17  −13     0

Matchday 7 (27th March)
Occidental Olympic 3–3 Good Hope Club
[Dekamela weMexala goal 31', Adam Denby goal 57', Pefachela Etchalix goal 71'; Charlotte Bryant goals 12' and 87', Chris Barker own goal 43']
Nova Aegis 1–0 Newbanks United
[Chloe Newbury goal 68'; Kōji Katou red card 81']
Golden Unicorn 3–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Caitlynn Jones goal 56', Melcheta Pazorzal goals 72' and 78'; Fred Newton goals 14' and 74']
Independence 1975 2–1 Grand Beach
[Henry Green goal 64', Alice Christopher goal 79' [pen]; Rachel McNamara goal 36']
Hiyashi Celestia 0–1 Army and Navy
[Aidan Harris goal 73']
Sword and Shield 8–3 Juventud
[Jessica Martin goals 2', 19' and 79', Hugh Roanoke goals 23' and 53', Stanley Longley goal 40', Alex Rounds goal 64', Samuel Walcott goal 85'; Stella Boldman goal 42', Tim Hart goal 53', Christina Fulton goal 74']

Matchday 8 (5th April)
Good Hope Club 2–0 Juventud
[Anthony York goal 19', Joe Folsom red card 44', Jack Smith goal 53']
Army and Navy 2–2 Sword and Shield
[Darren Batchelor goal 64', Janice Bartley goal 69'; Jessica Martin goal 43', Stanley Longley goal 52']
Grand Beach 2–5 Hiyashi Celestia
[Douglas Westwood goal 74', Patrick Budd goal 88'; Joe Galbraith goals 19' and 53', Takeshi Honda goals 42' and 67', Nobusuke Kuronuma goal 79']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–0 Independence 1975
[no goals]
Newbanks United 1–0 Golden Unicorn
[Wayne Crawshaw goal 52']
Occidental Olympic 3–2 Nova Aegis
[Samuel Short goal 16', Exandra Davies goal 50', Kerry Otterson goal 81'; George Guest goals 54' and 71']

Matchday 9 (12th April)
Nova Aegis 1–1 Good Hope Club
[Ronald Silliman goal 59'; Peter Simpson goal 55']
Golden Unicorn 2–2 Occidental Olympic
[Adam Hall goal 68', Gionata Mariani goal 90+3'; Adam Denby goals 41' and 78']
Independence 1975 1–0 Newbanks United
[David Newcastle goal 79']
Hiyashi Celestia 4–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Takeshi Honda goals 19', 62' and 73', Lamotera Chelira goal 43'; Nightingale goals 26' and 82', Harriet Williams goal 45+3', Charlie Dell goal 59']
Sword and Shield 1–4 Grand Beach
[Maddie Gordon goal 67'; Tim Brandon goal 26', Patrick Budd goals 35' and 79', Rachel McNamara goal 62']
Juventud 1–1 Army and Navy
[Tim Hart goal 63'; Jennifer Smith goal 80']

Matchday 10 (28th April)
Good Hope Club 1–2 Army and Navy
[Charlotte Bryant goal 68'; Aidan Harris goals 42' and 50']
Grand Beach 4–1 Juventud
[Liz Harris goal 30', Rachel McNamara goals 51' and 89', Patricia Young goal 77'; Stella Boldman goal 42']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Sword and Shield
[Harriet Williams goal 57' [pen], Fred Newton goals 73' and 90'; Dan Brook goal 82']
Newbanks United 1–3 Hiyashi Celestia
[Tash Banbury goal 65'; Rick Goldsmith goals 35' and 78', Nobusuke Kuronuma goal 53']
Occidental Olympic 1–0 Independence 1975
[Dekamela weMexala goal 42']
Nova Aegis 0–1 Golden Unicorn
[Natalie Monaco goal 66']

Matchday 11 (9th May; halfway stage)
Golden Unicorn 2–3 Good Hope Club
[Melcheta Pazorzal goal 53', Jack Markham goal 82'; Falareta Wesevta goals 35' and 60', Jack Smith goal 78']
Independence 1975 1–0 Nova Aegis
[Sophie Wilton goal 36']
Hiyashi Celestia 4–2 Occidental Olympic
[Rick Goldsmith goal 23', Mike Derry goal 42', Bart Forrest goal 54', Takeshi Honda goal 62'; Steve Pilchard goal 48' [pen], Samuel Short goal 79']
Sword and Shield 2–2 Newbanks United
[Hugh Roanoke goals 6' and 55'; Nobuyuki Ishida goals 40' and 68']
Juventud 4–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Tim Hart goals 14' and 56', Lucas Richards goal 39', Tim Hart missed penalty 73', Christina Fulton goal 73' (rebound off saved penalty); Harriet Williams goal 44' [pen], Graham Lawson goal 64', Michael Kent red card 70']
Army and Navy 0–1 Grand Beach
[Sara Halbrook goal 72']

SEL after 11 games played            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  11    8   1   2    12    4   +8    25
 2 Hiyashi Celestia                   11    7   2   2    25   16   +9    23
 3 Athletic Saint Eleanor             11    6   3   2    25   16   +9    21
 4 Army and Navy                      11    6   2   3    16    9   +7    20
 5 Occidental Olympic                 11    5   2   4    27   23   +4    17
 6 Golden Unicorn                     11    4   3   4    15   14   +1    15
 7 Grand Beach                        11    3   4   4    16   19   −3    13
 8 Sword and Shield                   11    3   3   5    25   26   −1    12
 9 Good Hope Club                     11    3   3   5    17   21   −4    12
10 Newbanks United                    11    3   2   6    10   14   −4    11
11 Nova Aegis                         11    3   2   6    11   16   −5    11
12 Juventud                           11    1   1   9    13   34  −21     4

Matchday 12 (16th May)
Good Hope Club 0–0 Grand Beach
[Alex Martins missed penalty 63']
Army and Navy 1–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Matthew Carson goal 89']
Juventud 2–4 Newbanks United
[Keith Parker goals 32' and 74'; Emma Francis goal 38', Wayne Crawshaw goal 53', Hamnet Borisov goal 64', Adastral Downing goal 90']
Sword and Shield 1–1 Occidental Olympic
[Jessica Martin goal 83'; Steve Pilchard goal 68']
Hiyashi Celestia 0–0 Nova Aegis
[Lydia Nicholls red card 68']
Independence 1975 0–0 Golden Unicorn
[no goals]

Matchday 13 (27th May)
Independence 1975 1–1 Good Hope Club
[Layla Grover goal 53'; Jack Smith goal 76']
Golden Unicorn 3–3 Hiyashi Celestia
[Matt Shilling goal 45', Melcheta Pazorzal goals 52' and 85'; Bart Forrest goal 28, Takeshi Honda goal 59', Andrew Mann goal 89']
Nova Aegis 3–3 Sword and Shield
[George Guest goal 45', Stephen Jones goal 65', Davina Salt goal 87'; Maddie Gordon goals 28' and 75', Kevin Hand goal 54']
Occidental Olympic 3–0 Juventud
[Steve Pilchard goals 25' [pen], Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 52', Dekamela weMexala goal 76']
Newbanks United 2–0 Army and Navy
[Nobuyuki Ishida goals 12' and 19']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Grand Beach
[Nightingale goal 36', Sam Newbridge red card 62']

Matchday 14 (6th June)
Good Hope Club 1–4 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Dennis Jonas goal 55', Charlotte Bryant missed penalty 90+4'; Fred Newton goal 26', Harriet Williams goal 39', Charlie Dell goal 60', Nightingale goal 85', John Tresco red card 90+1']
Grand Beach 1–0 Newbanks United
[Alex Martins goal 53' [pen]]
Army and Navy 2–3 Occidental Olympic
[Darren Batchelor goal 42', Eric Stone goal 78'; Dekamela weMexala goal 32', Bridget Coombe goal 57', Samuel Short goal 84']
Juventud 1–2 Nova Aegis
[James Holding goal 32', Joey Roberts red card 76'; Greg Mallett goal 46', George Guest missed penalty 77', George Guest goal 83']
Sword and Shield 1–0 Golden Unicorn
[Hugh Roanoke goal 60']
Hiyashi Celestia 1–0 Independence 1975
[Rick Goldsmith goal 37']

Matchday 15 (12th June)
Hiyashi Celestia 2–3 Good Hope Club
[Takeshi Honda goals 43' and 53'; Sarah Daltrey goal 25', Jack Smith goal 60', Laura Brown goal 86']
Independence 1975 1–3 Sword and Shield
[Cathy Winchester goal 42'; Hugh Roanoke goals 19' and 55', Jessica Martin goal 63']
Golden Unicorn 3–1 Juventud
[Gionata Mariani goal 23', Natalie Monaco goal 44', Jack Markham goal 82'; Christina Fulton goal 68']
Nova Aegis 2–1 Army and Navy
[Ronald Silliman goal 53', Stephen Jones goal 73'; Aidan Harris goal 34']
Occidental Olympic 5–2 Grand Beach
[Steve Pilchard goals 18', Bridget Coombe goal 35', Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 51', Dekamela weMexala goal 63', Dominic Cooper goal 75'; Rachel McNamara goal 27', Gary Milton goal 65']
Newbanks United 1–5 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Rachel Woodhouse goal 83'; Nightingale goals 12' and 53', Fred Newton goals 25' and 44', Lauren Pell goal 61']

Matchday 16 (21st June; summer break commences)
Good Hope Club 0–1 Newbanks United
[Kōji Katou goal 64']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–1 Occidental Olympic
[John Tresco goal 34'; Scarlett Gilbert red card 70', Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 90+3']
Grand Beach 0–4 Nova Aegis
[Ronald Silliman goals 31', 45+1' and 73', Amelia Lane goal 57']
Army and Navy 2–1 Golden Unicorn
[Janice Bartley goals 80' and 90+1'; Gionata Mariani goal 71']
Juventud 0–2 Independence 1975
[Sophie Wilton goal 42', Alice Christopher goal 69' [pen]]
Sword and Shield 3–5 Hiyashi Celestia
[Jessica Martin goals 24' and 63', Maddie Gordon goal 78'; Lydia Nicholls goal 15' (only from 25 yards out... sigh), Takeshi Honda goal 28', Rick Goldsmith goals 45' and 66', Eva Wellesley goal 86']

SEL after 16 games played            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             16    9   4   3    36   20  +16    31
 2 Hiyashi Celestia                   16    9   4   3    36   25  +11    31
 3 Independence 1975                  16    9   3   4    16    9   +7    30
 4 Occidental Olympic                 16    8   4   4    40   29  +11    28
 5 Army and Navy                      16    8   2   6    22   17   +5    26
 6 Nova Aegis                         16    6   4   6    22   21   +1    22
 7 Golden Unicorn                     16    5   5   6    22   21   +1    20
 8 Sword and Shield                   16    5   5   6    36   36    0    20
 9 Newbanks United                    16    6   2   8    18   22   −4    20
10 Good Hope Club                     16    4   5   7    22   29   −7    17
11 Grand Beach                        16    4   5   7    19   29  −10    17
12 Juventud                           16    1   1  14    17   48  −31     4

Matchday 17 (11th September)
Sword and Shield 1–1 Good Hope Club
[Stanley Longley goal 65'; Jack Smith goal 61']
Hiyashi Celestia 2–0 Juventud
[Takeshi Honda goal 36', Keith Surtees goal 85']
Independence 1975 3–0 Army and Navy
[David Newcastle goal 22', Sophie Wilton goal 56', Jon Harp goal 79']
Golden Unicorn 4–0 Grand Beach
[Owen Prentice goals 29' and 33', Caitlynn Jones goal 48', Alex Martins own goal 65']
Nova Aegis 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Charlie Dell goal 57']
Occidental Olympic 2–3 Newbanks United
[Steve Pilchard goal 57, Adam Denby goal 66'; Nobuyuki Ishida goals 32' and 44', Wayne Crawshaw goal 86']

Matchday 18 (18th September)
Good Hope Club 0–6 Occidental Olympic
[Adam Denby goals 14', 55' and 78', Dekamela weMexala goal 23', Steve Pilchard goal 45', Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 65']
Newbanks United 4–0 Nova Aegis
[Rachel Woodhouse goal 41', Hamnet Borisov goals 56' and 64', Wayne Crawshaw goal 78'; Grace Bryant red card 53']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 5–3 Golden Unicorn
[Fred Newton goals 11' and 65', Harriet Williams goals 56' and 84', Wlad Wlad goal 78'; Melcheta Pazorzal goal 28', Caitlynn Jones goal 52', Lee Molton goal 88']
Grand Beach 3–3 Independence 1975
[Rachel McNamara goal 37', Alex Martins goal 56', Kieran Abbott goal 71'; David Newcastle goal 25', Henry Green goal 42', Richard Dale goal 76']
Army and Navy 0–3 Hiyashi Celestia
[Ken Wilkie own goal 24', Takeshi Honda goals 64' and 78']
Juventud 0–0 Sword and Shield
[no goals - for the first time since Matchday 12. I mean, seriously? Come on, now!]

Matchday 19 (25th September)
Juventud 1–3 Good Hope Club
[Anna Butcher goal 51'; Charlotte Bryant goal 25', Falareta Wesevta goal 45+2', Joey Roberts own goal 79']
Sword and Shield 1–0 Army and Navy
[Jessica Martin goal 53' [pen]; Ken Wilkie red card 51']
Hiyashi Celestia 0–0 Grand Beach
[no goals]
Independence 1975 2–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[David Newcastle goal 69', Layla Grover goal 86'; Nightingale goal 54']
Golden Unicorn 7–4 Newbanks United
[Melcheta Pazorzal goals 9', 31' [pen] and 44', Gionata Mariani goals 15' and 56', Alistair Holborn goal 71', Owen Prentice goal 84'; Rachel Woodhouse goal 26', Carla Hawkins red card 29', Wayne Crawshaw goal 61', Hamnet Borisov goal 65', Tash Banbury goal 90+4']
Nova Aegis 0–2 Occidental Olympic
[Dekamela weMexala goals 45' and 48']

Matchday 20 (3rd October)
Good Hope Club 0–0 Nova Aegis
[no goals]
Occidental Olympic 5–2 Golden Unicorn
[Steve Pilchard goals 14' and 66', Adam Denby goal 25', Dekamela weMexala goal 60', Bridget Coombe goal 84'; Natalie Monaco goal 52', Melcheta Pazorzal goal 75' [pen]]
Newbanks United 2–1 Independence 1975
[Wayne Crawshaw goals 45' and 67'; Alice Christopher goal 50']
Athletic Saint Eleanor 6–2 Hiyashi Celestia
[Harriet Williams goal 15', Nightingale goals 34', 52', 69' and 75', Lauren Pell goal 58'; Takeshi Honda goal 64', Nobusuke Kuronuma goal 83']
Grand Beach 1–0 Sword and Shield
[Rachel McNamara goal 53']
Army and Navy 1–0 Juventud
[Aidan Harris goal 34']

Matchday 21 (11th October)
Army and Navy 5–2 Good Hope Club
[Aidan Harris goal 16', Noah Chorley goals 48' and 55', Alan Hebblethwaite goal 70' (nb: brought on for Donald), Darren Batchelor goal 76'; Jack Smith goal 31', Anthony York goal 65']
Juventud 3–5 Grand Beach
[Tim Hart goal 3', Keith Parker goals 43' and 67'; Alex Martins goal 33', Rachel McNamara goals 52' and 75', Liz Harris goal 60', Tim Brandon goal 78']
Sword and Shield 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[John Tresco goal 54']
Hiyashi Celestia 2–0 Newbanks United
[Joe Galbraith goals 67' and 90+1']
Independence 1975 1–1 Occidental Olympic
[Alice Christopher missed penalty 37', Bobby Smith goal 54', Donald Hutchings red card 82'; Laetitia Bryant red card 48', Steve Pilchard goal 84' [pen]]
Golden Unicorn 3–2 Nova Aegis
[Natalie Monaco goals 53' and 72', Melcheta Pazorzal goal 56'; George Guest goals 37' and 60']

Matchday 22 (16th October - ATHLETIC SAINT ELEANOR WIN THE 1999 SAINT ELEANOR LEAGUE)
Good Hope Club 3–4 Golden Unicorn
[Aaron Francis own goal 22', Charlotte Bryant goal 40', Sarah Daltrey goal 75'; Melcheta Pazorzal goal 28', Gionata Mariani goals 44' and 69', Matt Shilling goal 82']
Nova Aegis 0–2 Independence 1975
[Alice Christopher missed penalty 24', Henry Green goal 48', Jon Harp goal 85']
Occidental Olympic 0–3 Hiyashi Celestia
[Takeshi Honda goals 45' and 80', Bart Forrest goal 63']
Newbanks United 1–2 Sword and Shield
[Tash Banbury goal 63'; Jessica Martin goals 51 and 78' [pen]]
Athletic Saint Eleanor 5–2 Juventud
[Nightingale goals 19' and 56', Harriet Williams goal 42' [pen], Ryan Bacon goals 76' and 80'; Tim Hart goal 63', Daisy Woodley goal 88']
Grand Beach 3–1 Army and Navy
[Rachel McNamara goal 17', Patrick Budd goal 34', Tim Brandon goal 65'; Jennifer Smith red card 61', Noah Chorley goal 73']

SEL 1999 final table                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   14   4   4    55   29  +26    46
 2 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   13   5   4    48   31  +17    44
 3 Independence 1975                  22   12   5   5    28   16  +12    41
 4 Occidental Olympic                 22   11   5   6    56   38  +18    38
 5 Golden Unicorn                     22    9   5   8    45   40   +5    32
 6 Army and Navy                      22   10   2  10    29   29    0    32
 7 Newbanks United                    22    9   2  11    32   36   −4    29
 8 Sword and Shield                   22    7   7   8    40   40    0    28
 9 Grand Beach                        22    7   7   8    31   40   −9    28
10 Nova Aegis                         22    6   5  11    24   33   −9    23
11 Good Hope Club                     22    5   7  10    31   46  −15    22
12 Juventud                           22    1   2  19    23   64  −41     5

Longest-distance goal: 59yds (Lydia Nicholls vs Juventud, MD6)
Shortest-distance goal: 0.5yds (Hugh Roanoke vs Golden Unicorn, MD14)

Saint Eleanor League 1999 review: Athletic go the distance in a photofinish that wasn't
Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting's Chief Football Correspondent, Jamie Rodgers, recaps the final SEL of the second millennium and what it means
Originally published on Sunday 17th October 1999

The Saint Eleanor League of 1999     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   14   4   4    55   29  +26    46
 2 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   13   5   4    48   31  +17    44
 3 Independence 1975                  22   12   5   5    28   16  +12    41
 4 Occidental Olympic                 22   11   5   6    56   38  +18    38
 5 Golden Unicorn                     22    9   5   8    45   40   +5    32
 6 Army and Navy                      22   10   2  10    29   29    0    32
 7 Newbanks United                    22    9   2  11    32   36   −4    29
 8 Sword and Shield                   22    7   7   8    40   40    0    28
 9 Grand Beach                        22    7   7   8    31   40   −9    28
10 Nova Aegis                         22    6   5  11    24   33   −9    23
11 Good Hope Club                     22    5   7  10    31   46  −15    22
12 Juventud                           22    1   2  19    23   64  −41     5

If the motto of last year's Saint Eleanor League was "nothing ventured, nothing gained," this year would surely have bore the tagline "if you swing at the king, you'd better not miss." 1998 was very much a slow burner, an affair dominated for two thirds of the season by Athletic Saint Eleanor - until Jessica Martin rolled her eyes and shook her head at the very notion. One flip in the first thirteen games, then two in the next two and that was that. 1999, by contrast, was always a true back-and-forth affair, with eight changes of the guard in twenty-two games, a dogfight almost to the very last. Almost. Nobody seriously expected Athletic to capitulate to Juventud. But they already had.

Athletic Saint Eleanor are top of the pecking order for the first time in five years, but it sometimes never felt like it. The Reds lost both legs of their opening tie, ending their IFCF campaign before any other Eleanorians (never mind the league itself). Their response was to squeak into the kind of 1-0 win against Army and Navy that they really should have pulled off against Inkopolis FC, the scorer not Nightingale or Harriet Williams but teenaged debutant Graham Lawson, making a surprise inside run to quickly lob Brian Tarrant with about ten minutes to go. This was, alas, one of his few big moments in 1999: he was hardly anywhere to be seen for the club's early winning run, subsequent mini-collapse, or second-half climb back up the top of the table. Adam Woolley, the manager, made big noises about leaving towards the end of this season, but only three outcomes are likely: either he quits, gets more Whitehammer CS grads like Lawson into the 21st century squad, or loses his job for not doing so.

Equestrian pegasus Nightingale's four-goal salvo against Celestia was the cherry atop a remarkable season in which she scored 19 of the team's 55 goals. Wlad Wlad isn't just good at heading the ball away: he still has a mind for making crucial tackles and interceptions, best shown in the 0-0 against Indy, and carries them out almost with ease by putting very little at risk. Williams, arguably the last White Star at Athletic, dictated the tempo too many times to count and had more than a few productive setpieces; she once again showed why the best guide to her performances this season are her performances last. Curry and taFrexala aren't that good yet, but are also capable, attack-minded and yet defensively astute fullbacks. They were at their very best for the autumn revenge job against Celestia, the pair of agonisingly close performances against Indy, and generally just fought their arses off for the rest of the season against much lesser opponents. But their talent now might not be enough in future: the average Athletic player is exactly 26, and many are older than that. Not even the fact that Nightingale ages twice as slowly as the Kandorese, and four times more so than the locals, can save the manager's skin. Marie Ackroyd has already convinced Kitara AA about O'Donnell's value as an "impact sub," whatever that means; she might do an even better job with Hammer School.

Hiyashi Celestia wanted the title more. Did they deserve it more? Probably not. After a transfer window that only the most bullish of Hiyashi's senior managers would even dare to call a success, they barely averaged a goal a game in the early parts, drawing against the Golden Unicorn after Takeshi Honda's late penalty was clawed onto the post by Georgia Wood, before losing against Independence 1975 despite having some excellent chances. Yet they then only faltered against an apparently resurgent Army and Navy and an improved Athletic Saint Eleanor to go two points behind Indy at the halfway stage. Having defeated Indy the second time around, they leapfrogged them at the top - but not for long, dumped by an insurgent Athletic after a sorry defeat to Good Hope. The Angels gained enough ground to sit a point ahead of the men from Whitehammer with three games to go and each other still to play... Celestia summarily capitulated 6-2. They won both of their remaining games, against an improving Newbanks United and titleholders Occidental Olympic; unfortunately for them, Athletic slalomed past Sword and Shield before hammering Juventud.

What of the players? They can be best described as "mystery meat." Tricky but strong winger Joe Galbraith and strong but mostly-controlled centreback Andrew Mann - as I predicted earlier - were the best factory workers in the team, but the bench was packed with their colleagues. Legendary Kandorese striker Takeshi Honda is the most wizened and possibly the finest player in the league; despite having fallen to Kaya Michiyu's substitutes bench, he scored 21 in 22 and never had a serious dip in form, only a few missteps (think Wood's penalty save). Golden Backpack winner Rick Goldsmith scored a third of Honda's tally and was instrumental against Indy and Sword and Shield, but suffered after the summer holidays. In a league where the players are more refined than rebellious, 19-year-old hard woman Lydia Nicholls starting alongside the calm, experienced skipper Nobusuke Kuronuma in central midfield was a fittingly pleasant surprise. Shojiro Ito, Celestia's other Kandorese player, tried his best but was at fault for more than a few of the dropped points; it is one thing to say he must improve, but another to say that he will do so perfectly well. Nicole Morlock somehow popped up with an early-season goal, but was excellent out back, too; she is rivalled in her position only by Cathy Winchester. Her Cassadagan compatriot, manager Rachel Schanke, seemed like a nice person based on very conflicting reports in the Concord Heights Times. She very much was, and her work in building a cohesive, coherent team out of this disparate lot of SEL veterans, teenagers and labourers should be praised. The groundwork she has laid for 2000 is stronger than most of us thought in January.

Independence 1975 started off strong - stronger, in fact, than anyone else, as the only team to win each of their first five games. Only one of their opponents could be seriously described as title challengers, however, and Army and Navy (themselves far from their early 1980s peak) had their number at the New Barracks during round six; their showings against Athletic and Occidental Olympic were no better, and they should have won by more than one against Grand Beach. A string of poor performances then cost the Liberators dearly, as they started the second half of the season with two draws and two losses against four of the teams they had pulped so early on. Unlike dreaded (and victorious) rivals Athletic, their form remained sketchy, following up a dramatic 2-1 win against the Reds with a loss by the same scoreline to Newbanks United - all the more astonishing given that they were up against backup keeper Paul Barring, in for a suspended Carla Hawkins - and a draw against an admittedly good Olympic. It will therefore be yet another year in the Challengers' Cup for Derek Pittam's corps, although they should have little trouble there if this year's close shave against Bastion was anything to go by.

Many commentators, yours truly included, believed that their 1998 flop stemmed from a squad seeking a fourth title in a row feeling too at ease with itself; despite this season being one of struggle, too, Pittam has done well to make the squad focused and determined, not just united. Liam West remains outstanding as ever. Avowedly meticulous winger David Newcastle scored five (fairly high for an Indy player) - plus his penalty against Bastion - and was the club's leading assist maker, repeatedly preparing crosses that strikers Henry Green and Sophie Wilton devoured. Cathy Winchester came into her own this year: quiet on the offensive front, she has nonetheless developed a hands-off but effective defensive style and is still unapologetically willing to lend the ball. And what of Layla Grover, the fresh-faced Tikariotian? Critics point to her getting sent off for punching Juventud's Joey Roberts early on (Indy conceded twice in her absence); supporters recall how she brought Indy so close to the top when her late forty-yarder copped a huge deflection off Michael Kent into the net. Everyone thinks she really was as impenetrable as we were promised - and that she's improved as much as you could expect from a relatively raw, 19-year-old defensive midfielder. (Ask Bridget Coombe if you need help quantifying this. Or not; she's the Priest of Zadok to Grover's Flight of a Bumblebee.)

Occidental Olympic had a bad season by 1998 standards and an incredible season by any other year's standards. Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh, Olympic's cheapest new signing this season, made an early impact when he decided to find the net against Stanton Town - with 15 minutes left - to force extra time in their Champions' League tie (but Town's Aenemere Erisia then struck to sustain the Eleanorian tradition of being eliminated in its second qualifying round). The early league performances were incredibly hit-or-miss, and not because the Farf was sidelined for most of them: Olympic sealed two four-goal wins on the bounce but struggled against Good Hope and Nova Aegis, and lost two of their first three games - both against the weaker Big Four teams. Independence 1975, sunk by a Dekamela weMexala volley, were not so fortunate; between the draw with GHC and the summer holidays, they secured 18 points from nine games, including a dramatic draw against Athletic and three consecutive wins in a five-game unbeaten run that was ended - in September - by a late Wayne Crawshaw strike. The five games after that were just as good, another three-win streak admittedly tailed off by a draw to Indy and another loss against Hiyashi Celestia, and it was this outstanding late form that led them to finish well clear in the Challengers' Cup spots. They could have retained the title had they put on the rocket boosters earlier.

Bridget Coombe is no longer the sixth most famous member of the team, although she probably thinks she is: she remains a sensible, well-rounded player who has improved in all aspects, but is having more and better attempts on goal and passing from range more confidently. Wingers Samuel Short and Dominic Cooper relit their fires this year, only scoring four between them but being much more proactive in crossing the ball to Dekamela weMexala than before; she also gets support from Adam Denby and Steve Pilchard, the other two thirds of the league's most potent attack, who remain interchangeable yet indispensible. Ottilia Berg, the new Vanorian, was fairly good: she had her wrongdoings, but she is learning from them and is otherwise resisting the temptation to act like some desperate Pilchard clone who happens to be eighty yards behind the goal; almost singlehandedly keeping Nightingale quiet at Northwest Road is undoubtedly the highlight of her debut season. Exandra Davies tried to focus on defence this year, but could neither resist getting forward to provide additional support when possible nor concocting schemes so harebrained they somehow work (her impractically long-range shot indirectly set up Pilchard's second against Athletic). And naturally, Fâerçâlenh scored five league goals off the bench; he also tries, and mostly succeeds, to just randomly win the ball off people. He didn't even get booked once.

Golden Unicorn had one of their best seasons of recent years, but it could not be pinned down to any one run of form. Other than that saved penalty, it never really felt like it at first, either; especially considering the decay of Army and Navy, all of the first few results went rather as expected. Melcheta Pazorzal's late brace - the second in more dramatic circumstances than the first - which sealed a stunning 3-2 win over Athletic was not the inflection point many thought, and the Unicorn got to halfway with a balanced 4-3-4 record. Their showings after that were fairly good as they held Celestia (again) and Independence to draws, got the obligatory win over Juventud, and lost to Sword and Shield - plus the Soldiers, who also left it late to secure victory. They rebounded very well indeed: in their six games after the holidays, the Unicorn scored 23, conceded 19, and won four. The highs of a 7-4 win against a sorry Newbanks, a 4-0 annihilation of a wobbly Grand Beach and a 4-3 triumph against a Good Hope Club that contrived to throw the entire kitchen showroom at Georgia Wood and friends more than balanced out the agonising 5-3 loss against Athletic (they were only 1-0 down at half time) and a 5-2 hammering at Olympic's hands. You nevertheless have to ask: why?

Where to start? Wood was her typically focused, razor-sharp self throughout the campaign, but was let down by the complete lack of restraint shown in outfield during the autumn. Pazorzal got fourteen goals for the club, half of which came during the autumn salvo; it could well be argued he scores more for fun than for power. Eighteen-year-old Gionata Mariani, who set up Pazorzal on the regular and got nine goals of his own, including a late equaliser at home to Olympic and a key last-day double, would be worth every penny if he hadn't left Macbon's AC Croscia on a free. Natalie Monaco continued to drive the midfield, getting six and setting up eight more; her passes impressed even when they didn't result in goals, with that said. Aaron Francis, who had his best and least erratic season yet, is one of the best Juventud veterans ever to make the step up to what is now the "Big Eleven;" he should be seriously considered as a backup national team defender. Amanda Thorpe still just edges Derrick Gates at leftback, despite being a part-timer who's twice Mariani's age. And manager Ian Jones, familiar not only with Thorpe from his Tinhampton days but also everyone else in the squad, is responsible for reversing much of the damage from the last-place finish in 1996 (or even the disaster that was the back end of '98), taking a squad with three-and-a-half household names and nearly taking them to the IFCF; if they get there, it might just eclipse Tinhampton's World Cup 78 near-miss in his resume.

Army and Navy were better than they were last year, which is hardly saying anything at all. They got Darren Batchelor, national team reservist (but probably not for long), back... and that's it. While the Army is thriving, recruitment is not; the officers would do well to adopt additional flexibility in moving willing soldiers to and from the New Barracks, and not just to make way for Golden Backpack-winning defender Denise Livingston. Batchelor was responsible for much of the Soldiers' good, early run of form: he had a hand in all three goals in their 3-1 win at Olympic - including two late winners - and was instrumental in their surprise 1-0 wins at home to Indy and then Celestia. Those last two wins sent them third in the table and on course for a return to the IFCF, and things were looking up when a Round 12 win against Athletic Saint Eleanor created a five-point gulf between them and fifth. It was not to be, however: they lost six of their next seven games, including upset losses to Nova Aegis, Newbanks United, and Sword and Shield; they should have lost all seven but for Janice Bartley's heroics against the Unicorn. End-of-season wins against Juventud and the Good Hope Club, and (perhaps) the final-day loss to Grand Beach, were - at least - expected.

Beyond Batchelor, Aidan Harris had a relatively good season compared to 1998. Much like the club, anything would be an improvement on that year, but his seven goals are not to be sniffed at: not only did Noah Chorley, by now supposed to be the better of the club's two strikers, only score as many, but his goals so often proved decisive in encounters big and small, no doubt stopping an okay season from becoming a bad one. Ken Wilkie, who scored an own goal to open the scoring for Hiyashi Celestia during their visit and then gave away what turned out to be the crucial penalty the following week, summed up Army and Navy's post-holiday predicament; Susanna Michaels, five years older than him but more calm, composed, controlled and competitive, was better, but Brian Tarrant's standards slipped in the second half of the season - which almost everybody else took advantage of - and you must wonder whether he has Priscilla Evans' vote of confidence for World Cup 92. Reserves Janice Bartley and Alan Hebblethwaite were competent finishers in every sense of the word; Bartley's brace, which sealed a home comeback against the Unicorn, further underscores her credentials as Harris' would-be successor up front.

Newbanks United were in second gear for most of their debut season and, on balance, probably deserve their seventh-place finish - yet only Juventud, of course, have lost more games than them. Their first performances were as expected, although only losing 1-0 at Northwest Road was a surprise. A nastier shock came two weeks later against Nova Aegis, where insult (Kōji Katou receiving what many believed to be a harsh red card for what was plausibly a yellow-card offence) was added to injury (Chloe Newbury, a substitute that had just been brought on, scoring with her third touch of the game). The next four games were no better, although the opposition was, and they went into the second half marginally in tenth. They continued to blow hot and cold for a while afterwards, but consecutive wins over the Good Hope Club, Occidental Olympic and Aegis proved their apogee. That hot run of form was ironically sandwiched by a 5-1 surrender at home to Athletic and a 7-4 collapse at Dignity Cross, where the Golden Unicorn surged from a 2-1 lead after half an hour when Carla Hawkins became the second goalkeeper in two seasons to get her marching orders. An end-of-season win against Independence 1975 proved no predictor of their play against Sword and Shield, where they were unlucky to concede a late penalty.

United has four Squidroidians. Newcomer Daiki Fujiwara appears to have adopted the traditional Eleanorian wait-and-see approach to defending; his old-hat centreback partner Katou, although still a bit rough on the edges and prone to racking up a few yellow cards, is very gradually building a reputation that the Pyathora Mariners doubted he had in the first instance. Friendly local Inkling Hamnet Borisov was an infuriatingly fast presence on the wing for United, worked out how to get past Eleanorian national-teamer Exandra Davies (which few others did), and has been described as a somewhat less sturdy, much less opinionated Jessica Martin, which is always good. Nobuyuki Ishida was mocked as "the little man up front" (in comparison to Wayne Crawshaw), but the sceptics needn't have worried: he scored nine goals, more than Crawshaw, and - despite opening his account earlier in the season - was more apt to well-timed two-goal bursts rather than smooth goal-every-other-game showings. On the Eleanorian side, long-time friends Emma Francis and Rachel Woodhouse are an effective midfield unit who have been taking all parts of their game seriously. Ian Graham made up for a failure to reach the IFCF by supporting his solid core of players and squeezing promising individual performances out of mediocre team displays. Surely higher callings await for him - but not if United keeps slacking like they so often did this season. If Graham, a striker in his playing days, does not make the Students better and stronger at the back, then the likes of Nightingale, Denby, Pazorzal and Honda will be all too eager to do the hard work for him.

Sword and Shield began well by eliminating Savigliane's AC Acqui Bollente from the IFCF, with Maddie Gordon on song and two Martins on the scoresheet, before opening their league campaign with two good wins over Olympic and the Unicorn (plus an admittedly unexpected draw against Nova Aegis). But hopes that 1998 would be more than a flash in the pan were quickly quashed by three losses in a row, followed by a superficially good five-goal win... against Juventud. A surprise win against Indy stood out amidst a home defeat to Grand Beach, a draw at the Poly Sports, generally dropping points that La Querida could have snatched, and barely scraping eighth. Jessica Martin - captain, club legend, and (with Hugh Roanoke, Evan Kilkenny and Gordon) one of only a few to substantially benefit this year's team - was blamed for almost all of this by what has sometimes felt like half of the squad... by force, especially if unnecessary. Abraham Straw is widely believed to have done too little about the anti-Martin cheerleading, despite claiming to be "working on it" at almost every press conference since April 1997; many were pleased to see him quit hours before a 1-0 loss at Albion Road, leaving senior PE teacher Duncan Lewis - who led University College to last year's Charles Trump Shield - to keep the team safe and orderly over the last few games of the season. He succeeded, but will return to Uni Coll next year; you shouldn't count on Straw's permanent replacement to do likewise unless they engage in a nigh-Evansian clearout. I've heard Arielle Richardson, Gordon Pratt, Princess Sylvia of Atoccia and Alexandra Marcus are all desperate for regular minutes next year.

Grand Beach were hurt by the loss of Julia Atherton, who captained Tinhampton to the 73rd Cup of Harmony, in goal. Perhaps we should be thankful she took over Adam Salt's job, however arbitrary it may have seemed twelve months ago. After failing to win any of their first eight, the Dolphins came back strong with nine points out of nine, followed by a second well-earned draw against Good Hope and ending with a run of five games unbeaten - beginning with draws against Indy and Celestia that seriously damaged their respective title hopes. The highlight was that first win, a 4-1 demolition at the University Grounds; although their firepower (combining veteran Patrick Budd with relative novices Rachel McNamara, Liz Harris and Tim Brandon) was bang average, there is clear room for improvement, and they were at maximum capacity on that glorious day as they shared the goal involvements between them - an exemplar for future performances, if anything. Captain Sam Newbridge, who mercifully only earned a single red card this year, was (like his colleagues) confused by Atherton's switcheroo, but otherwise showed why he deserves to start for the Eleanorian national team: strong, angry as all hell, not afraid to do whatever it takes to end a good opportunity, and good at doing his job. And the manager? She's kept Salt on in a tactical, advisory role while maintaining his 4-4-2 and generally sustaining her forthright, no-nonsense, occasionally sweary attitude to man-management. It'll do them good.

Nova Aegis were once again carried by legendary striker George Guest, but that was once again not the full story. Guest scored all of the Pink Falcons' first four goals on his way to an 11-goal season - following up with two goals against Olympic, admittedly in vain, and a late winner against Juventud - but was a supporting actor in the 3-1 win at home to Grand Beach and many subsequent games. Other than somehow not finishing just above Juventud, it is hard to point out where their season went right. Ronald Silliman continues to supply the backup firepower his team needs; he netted a triple of his own, the first of his career, as the Dolphins succumbed 4-0 in the return leg (and he scored twice last season). Fullbacks Chris Collins and Grace Bryant were more conservative than most, but continued to improve and kept Aegis below two goals conceded per game for the third season running, an incredible accomplishment. Amelia Lane has become the main creative force in central midfield, supplementing Mallett and Jones, but - like shoulder buddy Anne Hoar - is more than adept at going back and staying back. While this is broadly a team at the peak of its powers, those powers sadly amount to very little. (Just look at Davina Salt, far removed from her Cup of Harmony glory days and now plausibly as good - or bad - as her deputy, Pete Dervish.)

Good Hope Club seemed shambolic, as years of allegations about a dressing room almost as vitriolic as the University Grounds' finally materialised on the pitch. The squad is just too old; although Trident CS have been invited to next year's Vilitan Cove Invitational, it is a pity they cannot enter the setup so quickly. It is not January 1990 and neither the Good Hope scouts nor anyone else should pretend it is. Charlotte Bryant, a surprisingly efficient midfield dynamo, was somehow the best player on the team. Laura Brown was good in defence, but far from her peak. Falareta Wesevta was sloppier than almost any other regular winger, despite a few goals. And don't get me started on Jack Smith, who was fortunate to score half as much as he did. All were born before independence. The fans - who, alone among the Eleanorians, own their club - sealed Millie Carter's fate by the start of October, feeling that their decent showings against Indy and Celestia were outweighed by the many torrid performances the Seasiders put in against much of the bottom half; Mary Kirkport, who announced her retirement from football two months ago, takes over as manager. She's the closest thing to a repairwoman they could possibly get.

And, of course, Juventud enjoy five points out of a possible sixty-six, doomed to the basement yet again with four games left, having held a Sword and Shield team that themselves barely deserved a draw. They secured another point earlier in the season against Army and Navy and deserved to win, yet the waste and prolifigacy of Keith Parker far outweighed Tim Hart's accuracy. And the game they actually won? It was against none other than Athletic: the Young's best team performance, although Hart was on top again and should have had a hat-trick. The men in purple could have seen more success, but between Lydia Nicholls lobbing Naveral gaBexpara from the halfway line, George Guest profiting from Joey Roberts' dismissal to score a late away winner, and dubious defending against Grand Beach, it was not to be. The 19-year-olds Shepley and Richards seem promising; Holding was a damp squib who underperformed even by their standards and was often replaced by Woodley. Roberts, too, was largely anonymous; he will be remembered either for tackling Guest or being punched by Grover. Fulton is becoming more competent, somehow scored thrice, and could well crack it in some other top flight where she won't be overshadowed by just about every other fullback. Hart and Parker were "superb," or close enough. But regardless, they are bottom. They barely know; they barely care. They just want to get out, escape their studies and face Saint Eleanor's finest. At least they like their doom loop.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:52 pm

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 1999 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Corrections were issued on August 31st 2022. David Key was not the first person to score a free-kick at the Showpiece. Our reporter rather hilariously got Takeshi Honda and Gionata Mariani muddled up towards the end of the first semifinal report, before proceeding to claim in the final report that Christine Terrence was playing instead of Paul Ferry in a game that Sword and Shield weren't taking part in. I'm telling SESB, mate; they won't be thinking about promoting you any time soon.

Showcase Palmares
Uncontested as of 1998

Round of Sixteen

Golden Unicorn 3–3 Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team) (5–3 AET)
[Melcheta Pazorzal goals 13' and 67', Logan Hughes goal 44', Jack Markham goal 105+1', Matt Shilling goal 113'; Anna Dart 36', Kevin Marcus goals 63' and 75']
Never work with children or animals - especially not at the same time. Half of the first-round games went to extra time, but only the Unicorn mustered enough strength to escape penalties. The men from Brightway must have thought they were going to have an easier ride after Melcheta Pazorzal scored once and almost netted a couple of other opportunities, but Anna Dart equalised ten minutes from half time, requiring centreback Logan Hughes' header from a free kick to drag them into the lead at the interval. After the first fifteen minutes of the second half was spent peppering shot after shot with expectation but no hope of return, winger Kevin Marcus made the yellows pay with a spectacular curling effort from just outside the box that somehow came off. Although Pazorzal rediscovered the net in short order, Marcus was right back at him as he skipped past Hughes, Aaron Francis and Amanda Thorpe to make it 3-3 with fifteen minutes left and force extra time. In the end, however, extra-time substitute Jack Markham must be commended for scoring the first goal in extra time and teeing up Matt Shilling for number two - ensuring that the game would last no longer than the "full" 120.
Newbanks United 3–3 Hiyashi Celestia (3–3 AET) (4–5 pen.)
[Nobuyuki Ishida goals 25' and 84', Emma Francis goal 39', Wayne Crawshaw missed penalty 98'; Takeshi Honda goal 53', Rick Goldsmith goal 66', Bart Forrest goal 73']
[penalty shootout, Celestia taking first: Takeshi Honda GOAL, Nobuyuki Ishida GOAL, Joe Galbraith SAVED, Tash Banbury GOAL, Andrew Mann GOAL, Rachel Woodhouse POST, Lydia Nicholls OVER, Emma Francis SAVED, Nobusuke Kuronuma GOAL, Wayne Crawshaw GOAL, Nicole Morlock OVER, Kōji Katou SAVED, Eva Wellesley GOAL, Polly Ground CROSSBAR]
Hands up who agrees that Hiyashi Celestia was the better one of the new teams over the course of the league season? every hand in the room, except about two, shoots up Now who agrees that Hiyashi Celestia was the better one of the new teams over the course of 120 minutes after the league season ended? about two-fifths of the hands in the room shoot up A back-and-forth affair this was not: a fairly clean and free-flowing affair where all the big mistakes were in attack, Squidroidian Nobuyuki Ishida opened the scoring with a simple effort before Emma Francis surprised most to make it 2-0 at the break. The Angels came back roaring with three goals in twenty minutes and should have ended the tie there and then, but Ishida again manages to sniff out a dramatic equaliser before - in even more heart-stopping circumstances - strike partner Wayne Crawshaw misses a penalty in the first half of extra time. Although the Students had the upper hand throughout the final half an hour, they were unable to convert it into goals, and the ordeal comes to an end when leftback Polly Ground, playing her first minutes since late May, beats Ito but can only watch as her effort rebounds down off the bar. BFF midfielders Woodhouse and Francis could have buried it after four rounds... but they couldn't handle the pressure, either.
Parkside CS (Olympic youth team) 0–0 Juventud (0–0 AET) (5–4 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout, Juventud taking first: Kieran Exley GOAL, Keith Parker GOAL, Glenn French GOAL, Tim Hart GOAL, Heather Blake GOAL, Ellie Burton GOAL, John Bourne GOAL, Stephen Shepley GOAL, Anna Butcher SAVED, David Key GOAL]
At least Parkside pretends to be competent. They have a well-oiled back four, too: particular attention must be drawn to Mike Pringle, who effectively directed the action from his very uncomfortable seat about fifteen yards in front of the goal line, waiting for Tim Hart and/or Keith Parker to catch his organisation by surprise. While it was not completely one-sided - David Key, of course, had the pick of his team's chances, terrorising Naveral gaBexpara more than once and generally being cheered on by a partisan-by-default capacity crowd of, uhhhhhhhh, eight hundred - the Parkside defence dominated the Young's attacking posse for all two hours, and were able to force a penalty shootout that was less tense than boring. After four rounds of perfection, Joe Carpenter contrives to get a glove on Anna Butcher's effort, allowing Key to hammer the ball low into the centre and seal a surprise(???) last eight place for the young Westerners.
Army and Navy 1–0 Nova Aegis
[Noah Chorley goal 58']
"I'll say it louder for those of you at the back," to quote General Diana Taylor: Army and Navy vs Nova Aegis is not prestigious. Army and Navy vs Nova Aegis for a place in the quarterfinals IS prestigious. We get the rough and tumble started within five minutes when Ken Wilkie - of course it had to be Ken Wilkie - is fortunate to avoid a booking, and Brian Tarrant is even luckier after George Guest's free kick just misses the post. The rest of the action is nowhere near as exciting, with multiple trips, slips, dips and general fouls not being called, or at worst barely punished (thankfully; it could have gotten much worse than just nine yellow cards). Two turning points: firstly, Noah Chorley pinches the ball from a dozing Coluseris Dalousol, who instead of slide-tackling him from behind, slithers around for no good reason, offering the young Private an excellent opportunity to score - and perhaps a good chance at getting a promotion. Secondly, with ten minutes left, Greg Mallett fobs off Victor Bone - twice - before hitting an inch-perfect cross that George Guest only just failed to get at. He should have jumped further: David Lenham slices his effort horribly, blowing away the Pink Falcons' last chance of forcing extra time in the process.
Liberty (independent CTS team) 1–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor
[Clara Blantyre goal 84'; Nightingale goals 15' and 63', Charlie Dell goal 40']
The fact that Athletic got merely three past Liberty, when the Charles Trump Shield participants shipped four in their semifinal against Parkside, is remarkable. More so because Nightingale, the only Champions' League winner in Saint Eleanor, was starting: despite having some difficulty getting past defenders Francine Brace and Matt Stephens at first, she got a breakthrough within a quarter of an hour with a sublime effort that made the post sing on its way in. With Liberty's two midfielders switching into Cynical Mode, however, she starts to struggle again. Enter Harriet Williams! ...or not, because she gets tackles a couple of times and, almost by some miracle, feels like carrying on. Attagirl. Anyway, it's Charlie Dell, of all people, who snatches number two from a wide but central position just before the break, while Nightingale - after having an earlier tapin ruled out for offside - scores a tapin that really should have been flagged up. Don't forget Own Goal, which was almost a nom de plume of Liberty enforcer Oliver Robins - and would have been had goalkeeper Lily Bromley not accidentally violated the long-standing interdict on backpasses. And while Clara Blantyre was pretty good up front for Liberty, too, she struggled even more than Nightingale did and could only score a solitary consolation with six minutes to go. I don't think Athletic's going to see any really serious late drama, mind.
Sword and Shield 2–2 Good Hope Club (2–2 AET) (3–1 pen.)
[Jessica Martin goal 16', Dan Brook goal 83'; Charlotte Bryant goal 43', Sarah Daltrey goal 70']
[penalty shootout, Arsenal taking first: Jessica Martin GOAL, Jack Smith SAVED, Maddie Gordon WIDE, Sarah Daltrey GOAL, Hugh Roanoke GOAL, Charlotte Bryant SAVED, Evan Kilkenny GOAL, Falareta Wesevta OVER]
They're not new... but they're probably improved. I could honestly be talking about either team here, but let's just say they definitely don't look like a bunch of obnoxious Jessica Martin-hating wankers either, especially not when she's given them an early lead. She could have done much more for the team, and ideally would have, but gets a couple of shots blocked by the Good Hope defence and attempts to make a few potentially key passes that just won't come off. Charlotte Bryant, Exandra Davies' girlfriend and Good Hope's least worst player, is tempted to tee off Jack Smith, but just hits one from twenty-three-and-a-bit yards out instead. After an excessively long period of attrition, broken only by Sarah Daltrey attempting a tricky shot that fails, Sarah Daltrey attempts a tricky shot that will pay off massively if they can hold on for the last twenty minutes. They do not. Cheers, Dan. The Collegiates' captain finally gets into her swing in extra time: Stanley Longley tests Hannah Downing with an exceedingly dangerous volley, Maddie Gordon slides a low effort that she gets to easily, Luke Gregory surprisingly receives a cross-field pass into the side-netting, and Martin herself scores first in a dreary shootout which feels like four, or maybe two, zero-sum games strung together. Thankfully, the final result is a nonzero sum.
Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 0–1 Occidental Olympic
[Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh goal 54']
That Farf again? Expecting little resistance from the Boys' Prep, Olympic boss Fetakela Manuta decided to pilot a 3-4-1-2 with Shaun Trellis getting a start at the back, Fâerçâlenh and Exandra Davies as wingbacks, and Pefachela Etchalix joining Bridget Coombe in midfield. Was this necessary against one of the most boring - and obviously vulnerable - 4-4-2s the Tinhamptonian's run into all season? Probably not: Prep strikers Harry Smith and Dominic Bennet find the gaps left by the three at the back easy to get past, although harder to avoid, and barely test Olympic keeper Neil Rourke. Their opposite numbers, Adam Denby and Dekamela weMexala, are up against tight man-marking and more than a bout of unexpectedly pressured attempts. They don't matter: Fâerçâlenh receives a fairly calm through ball from his club's other new signing, Ottilia Berg, then almost wreaks havoc, loses the ball, gets it back courtesy of Etchalix, actually does wreak havoc, and scores to boot. Steve Pilchard doesn't, either, although he had two excellent free kicks saved... they'd be average against Nova Aegis. So much for "trying the most innovative approaches to get the best outcomes."
Independence 1975 0–1 Grand Beach
[Patricia Young goal 78']
For all the praise that has been lavished on the Dolphins' starting front four, it was a substitute who proved the difference on their Showcase debut. Who was she brought on for? Tim Brandon, who couldn't be stopped by anybody other than himself and Rachel McNamara. He skinned Cathy Winchester for the bazillionth game in a row, saw Patrick Budd respond to his crosses with better than a passing mark, and could hardly be matched for speed by anyone closing down on him... but he gave away too many dead balls and McNamara just wasn't on top of things today. Introducing Patricia Young: a bit slower, a bit more accurate, a bit less the centre of attention, but much more keen on making a difference - and I'll have you know there were exactly four attempts on target. Henry Green's attempt was saved by Gavin Parson, Bobby Smith's effort was cleared just ahead of the goal-line, Budd's try was tipped over the bar by John Bailey, and with twelve minutes to go, Young recieves a lazy forwards pass from Douglas Westwood from what almost seems to be an offside position in front of a hostile home crowd. Nobody cares, because she threads it through Bailey's near post.

Quarterfinals

Hiyashi Celestia 5–2 Parkside CS (Olympic youth team)
[Takeshi Honda goals 17' and 34', Joe Galbraith goal 54', Nobusuke Kuronuma goals 61' and 78'; David Key goal 42', Alan Masterson goal 70', Ravexera Weloparela red card 89']
...okay, so that went to plan, then. Parkside, reigning Charles Trump Shield holders, were three games away from winning the Showpiece and making the Cup Winners' Cup - in theory. In practice, Takeshi Honda scored twice within just over half an hour, both from situations you would not realistically expect even the schoolchildren to prevent. David Key gives off a superficial appearance of competitiveness immediately before the break, as he gets tripped by Lydia Nicholls before becoming the second - and youngest - person to score directly from a free kick at the Showpiece. It does not last; Joe Galbraith, who had an attempt 75 seconds into the second half ruled out for a foul on Barbara Gunn, gets it right just afterwards. So, too, does skipper Nobusuke Kuronuma, who gets a backwards cross from Bart Forrest and muddies Joe Carpenter's sheet even further - then, after Alan Masterson nods in a corner, whacks one in from just outside the penalty area to secure victory. The red card shown to Ravexera Weloparela - the most Gladom Newion name ever given to a Sochean - for a harsh challenge on Rick Goldsmith proves irrelevant, mostly because there were two minutes left.
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–0 Grand Beach (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout, Athletic taking first: Nightingale SAVED, Alex Martins GOAL, Graham Lawson GOAL, Tim Brandon SAVED, Fred Newton GOAL, Patricia Young GOAL, Naresmet taFrexala CROSSBAR, Sara Halbrook SAVED, Harriet Williams GOAL, Patrick Budd POST]
Bring back Julia Atherton! Wait, no. Grand Beach, like Parkside Community School against Juventud, had their backs to the wall for most of this win-or-die clash against a much superior outfit, with the usual suspect (hint: she's a pegasus) proving to be much more of a nuisance than she was against Liberty. Grand Beach, like Parkside CS, barely had any chances of note and sometimes felt like they were being cheered on by a few thousand people in the stands. And Grand Beach, like Parkside CS, made extra time so unwatchable that you might as well have done your shopping while it happened. But Grand Beach - unlike Parkside CS - failed their penalty shootout in astonishing fashion: Gavin Parson got a hand to Nightingale's effort but was mysteriously powerless against the Reds' other four efforts. Not least to mention that they scuffed 60% of their spotkicks. Kenneth Northcroft wouldn't be a teacher if he let that happen to his lot.
Sword and Shield 3–2 Occidental Olympic
[Hugh Roanoke goals 25' and 53', Christine Terrence goal 60'; Steve Pilchard goal 37', Exandra Davies goal 75']
Don't listen to Jamie Rodgers: Duncan Lewis is still working a metric ton of miracles on the Collegiates. Hugh Roanoke, a University College alumnus himself, no doubt paid heed to his advice: after his first attempt as a goal involvement, a cross to Stanley Longley, ended up being a cross to Maddie Gordon which she couldn't control, his second effort - a decent solo dribble to offer himself a close but plausible angle against Neil Rourke - is a huge success. Not so fast, says Steve Pilchard, who tries to go around the Collegiates' centreback pairing and only ends up confusing Will Francis and making the score level. The University graduates dump a few tons of cement on their side of the seesaw: Roanoke, moving into a central position, lobs Rourke; Christine Terrence, who totally isn't a defender in midfield clothing, tries her luck as a forward but can do no better than a spectacular lofted strike from twenty yards out; Jessica Martin should have scored, but veered her effort onto the right-hand post for no good reason. Exandra Davies strikes once, from a lucky free-kick, and almost sets up a 3-3 situation from a very deliberate free-kick - but Dekamela weMexala heads way over. Speaking of Davies, Fetakela Manuta fielded exactly the same starting eleven as he did against the Boys' Prep, which miiiiiiight have been a bit of a problem.
Golden Unicorn 3–2 Army and Navy
[Natalie Monaco goals 25' and 78', Melcheta Pazorzal goal 38'; Aidan Harris goals 11' and 55']
"Thank fuck Janice Bartley didn't come on today," mutters Ian Jones to himself, well aware that her services were not, in fact, needed by the Soldiers. They were actually comfortable as Aidan Harris, in his 25%-desperate attempt to get his old form back, opened the scoring with a nice volley - but their mission to defend their one-goal lead in the Showcase quarterfinals for eighty minutes only lasted for fifteen when Natalie Monaco, this time on free-kick duty, sent one swerving past Tarrant - who was, in fact, expecting it to swerve (in the other direction). Okay, so how about trying to stop the situation getting worse for sixty-five minutes? That collapsed after another fifteen when Pazorzal split the Soldiers' too-many-man defence down the middle like a butter knife and finished with aplomb. The second half, too, offers us an early Harris goal, as he beats Aaron Francis in a man-on-man battle for the ball, turns to shoot, then gets to Georgia Wood's spillage first and makes it 2-2. Did he bother again? A couple of times, but none that anyone would want to know about. Monaco had a couple of other attempts, but they're well worth remembering: the first is a searching effort from twenty-five yards out which Tarrant can just push away for a corner; the second is a simple, straight dribble into a one-on-one which she works out perfectly - and she has to. Army and Navy's season is over.

Semifinals

Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Golden Unicorn (2–1 AET)
[Richard King goal 68', Andrew Mann goal 95'; Gionata Mariani goal 43']
The dream is over. Although he (and everyone associated with the club) knows that the top four was just stronger, better, and more dedicated than they were, Ian Jones wants only the second trophy in the club's history. The inaugural Showpiece, perhaps; it's not quite the Saint Eleanor League of 1987, but why not? They'll have to get past those big, bad - and ridiculously well-endowed - blues a couple of miles away from Dignity Cross first. They live up to the task at first, with Matt Shilling enjoying one of his best performances since the summer holidays (and there were a lot of goals in that time): he pushes Lamotera Chelira to the maximum, pulls, tugs, and even manipulates him like a voodoo doll. He offers Melcheta Pazorzal a couple of headers, but none of them truly succeed. Except for one: Shojiro Ito, allegedly good enough to be named as Kandorith's third-choice goalkeeper, fumbles. Gionata Mariani is there and cuts it onto the underside of the crossbar, whence it sneaks just past the goalline - and, to quote a certain Vdaran, the crowd goes mild.

It's not over yet. Bart Forrest, Shilling's other nemesis on (his) left, has had an off day in his own right, and is taken off for Richard King - crowned the saviour of Celestia's Showpiece hopes when, almost with his first big string of touches, he dummies Logan Hughes before taking Georgia Wood for a fool with an uber-cool rabona. Takeshi Honda hasn't lived up to the hype, either, but he remains on the pitch and almost wins it with the last kick of full time... which deflects off Hughes for a corner that trickles away. Suddenly, five minutes into the final thirty, they win another one - and this time, someone steps right up. The Reporter's headline writ itself: Humble Andrew, the assembly line worker, was Celestia's Yes Mann. He keeps on delivering, first thwarting Pazorzal and then his substitute, Markham, neither of whom really live up to their performances in the earlier two rounds. Recycling possession is his jam, too, as he repeatedly sets up Lydia Nicholls (by this point the more withdrawn midfielder in the 4-4-2) for every single attack of note that the Angels launch. One exception: He launches a final long ball to Takeshi Honda, rather incredibly still going after 119 minutes by a sheer combination of luck and doing almost nothing else of substance, but his attempt to lob Georgia Wood ends up in the second or third row. A win is enough to make it to the final, however. I can reassure you that 75% of the population will support whichever team in red makes it there.
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Sword and Shield
[Harriet Williams goal 32' [pen], Nightingale goal 53', Ryan Bacon goal 82'; Paul Ferry red card 30', Jessica Martin goal 65']
For that matter, the other dream is over. Duncan Lewis, an interim manager and seemingly proud of it, did not want a cup title - his aspirations of a competitive team with a coherent vision and a consistent gameplan were much more attainable - but the fans held out hope every step of the way. For two of the most attacking teams in the league, the first half an hour was surprisingly even-matched, with stars on both sides flubbing decent chances. But look at the defenders: Wlad Wlad, a Rekan legend, the Lhor outcast who (unlike his former club) will be in the IFCF next year, is concentrated, knows what he needs to do, closes down with purpose rather than fear. Paul Ferry, on the other hand, decides to take out his rage on Nightingale rather than Martin or Priscilla Evans, a quick and dirty tackle leaving her surprisingly unscathed but leaving him seeing red. Harriet Williams converts. She could have added to it with a classic free-kick, but that gets flicked onto the crossbar by a desperately-aging Will Francis.

It was 1-0 at the break, a state of affairs that changed rapidly as the Equestrian lunges for a Charlie Dell header which Francis just cannot reach. Easy to defend, right? Wrong. If only it isn't Jessica Martin lurking around the corner. She swaps places with Maddie Gordon for a bit to give us the 4-2-4 that exactly 47% of us know and 21.8% of us love - and the attacking midfielder by trade, having tried a couple of ill-fated low crosses, finds the national team star with an inch-perfect through ball that she rightly struggled to reach (but does). Three minutes later, she has what could have been a wonderful top-corner strike denied by Stuart Norton. If she carries on like this, the comeback is on. It is. It surely is. All they need is one more good opportunity, one killer ball, one silly mistake, one atypically hit-it-and-hope play, one goal to bring it to extra time and give us a bit more of the sheer dra---and my word, Ryan Bacon has done it for Athletic again. He was inexplicably brought on for Nightingale after seventy-five minutes, perhaps in expectation of the worst, yet he has once again put the Whitehammer outfit in dreamland (no, not the city in Brookstation, that would be silly) after hammering a close-range shot so hard it would have destroyed the goalframe had the twain ever met. It just went in the back of the net, mind.

THE FINAL
Hiyashi Celestia 4–3 Athletic Saint Eleanor ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (62,693 in attendance)
[Lydia Nicholls goal 29', Joe Galbraith goal 44', Takeshi Honda goals 62' and 90+4'; Nightingale goals 12' and 90+1', John Tresco goal 54']

If that isn't revenge served cold, what is? This was never going to end in a four-goal margin like the second Saint Eleanor League match between the two sides, and we got our first hints of it when Kandorese striker Takeshi Honda almost got us underway, but for the grace of Wlad Wlad's sliding clearance. Nightingale made him pay a matter of minutes later when she sensibly decided to sneak away from the rummage in the penalty area that resulted from Harriet Williams' first noteworthy free kick; Bart Forrest, an ex-Red who is by no means whatsoever a defender, can't clear properly, but it's a good thing Athletic's star striker knows how to take advantage of a good opportunity. Could she have had two so quickly? Maybe, but after her second attempt was pushed away by a diving Stuart Norton, Fred Newton got not one, but two rebounds to cannon off the woodwork. Number three just sailed into the stands at the National Liberation Arena, packed around 90% capacity.

Another reason why Athletic didn't lead by more than one after half an hour was Lydia Nicholls, Celestia's tough-tackling redhead midfielder, who cut out most of Athletic's biggest-potential opportunities in their infancy. Of course, Celestia doesn't officially operate a 4-4-2 diamond (unpacking the midfield might be verging on heresy in Cassadaigua, where their manager hails, and that formation definitely isn't in iconic Kandorese gaffer Kaya Michiyu's practice books either) and she's had to develop the other skills required of a central midfielder - key among them being winning headers. That is exactly what she does when, after Joe Galbraith swings in a corner, she lifts her six-foot-nothing figure above everyone else's and leaves Norton grasping at straws to make it 1-1.

What of Galbraith? Naresmet taFrexala, who (unlike him) is good enough to be a backup member of the national team, provides a stern test for him. Sometimes, the 22-year-old snatches the ball off him and creates a couple of good opportunities. The best he set up during the first half was a sublime long ball for Lauren Pell to chase onto, which she just about keeps in play - but Shojiro Ito, not Nightingale, earns the ball. That pales in comparison to JG's biggest contribution of the half - it's the goal that makes it 2-1 right before half time. Having dribbled past taFrexala, he moves inside and goes backwards a bit to escape the attention of Wlad Wlad, instead being challenged by his far-inferior centreback partner Michael Kent. Kent, of course, does not do enough to get to the ball. Norton doesn't, either, because Galbraith has whacked an absolute peach of a shot from twelve yards out.

John Tresco, unlike Nicholls, did very little to break up the play. He did almost nothing to create it, either. That is not to say that he did exactly nothing. First, he passes forwards to Harriet Williams - yes, this is somehow possible - whose dribble, although initially amounting to nothing, ultimately tests Ito from distance (but to no avail). Then, with just ten minutes played in the half, he tries his luck himself from twenty-five yards out. By some miracle, it goes in. Determined to prove that was a fluke, Takeshi Honda rearrives on the scene for something like the fifth or sixth time, ironically dispossessing Tresco before supplying Rick Goldsmith with the ball to avoid catching heat; the ploy obviously worked, because Goldsmith chipped in a short but high ball to his strike partner moments later, which he chested, controlled for a few seconds, and then finessed into the net - a refreshing break from all the smacking and thumping we've seen so far.

The second half of the second half is indeed the beginning of the end. A quartet for the end of time: Nicholls holds fast to Rachel Schanke's doctrine, turning defence into attack with lightning speed (very reluctantly, I may add), while remaining on the lookout for any dangerous Harriet Williams moves. Nightingale is starved of the ball, and the few times she does get it, she barely knows what to do - rather uncharacteristic of someone who once won a Champions' League final on penalties - and is outclassed in one-on-ones with Andrew Mann, he who took Celestia to the damned place. Lauren Pell, who is by now the pivot of Athletic's attack, can get past Cassadagan fullback Nicole Morlock, no problemo - but landing successful crosses or even through passes? That's a different story, once more thanks to Mann and Mike Derry (and don't get me started on the few shots he took). And, of course, we have Honda: calm, confident, and co-operative. The 24-year-old frontman was perfectly honest, received and lent the ball with no problem, didn't arbitrarily go for glory like he did so often in the early stages, and - despite not having a hand in any more goals over these last twenty-five minutes of regular time - was a joy to watch, never mind work with.

And then we have four minutes of added time. Four minutes for Celestia to hang on - but Nightingale doesn't know it, and she turns the score into 3-3 in swift order with the most basic of shots: keeper's hinting one way, you go the other, bang. Celestia steadfastly refuse to give up, with that said, and throw an inhumane number of players forward in the three minutes of stoppage time left. Few of them actually do anything. One of them, Takeshi Honda - yes, that Takeshi Honda - is taken down in relatively pedestrian fashion by Michael Kent, who earns himself a late booking. Despite the circumstances, Honda decides he has no time to waste and puts his one-time skill as Kandorith's go-to free-kick taker (before he got moved to the substitutes' bench for this year's World Cup qualifiers) to the best use possible: curling an unexpected effort not only at Norton's near post, but also into the top-right corner. Ninety-three minutes, fifty seconds on the dot. Stick a fork in it and call it done. Jubilation. Disbelief. History.

HIYASHI CELESTIA - WINNERS OF THE 1999 SHOWCASE - ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 59
1. Shojiro Ito [Kandorith; he/him]
2. Nicole Morlock [Cassadaigua; she/her]
3. Andrew Mann [he/him]
4. Mike Derry [he/him]
5. Lamotera Chelira [he/him]
6. Nobusuke Kuronuma (C) [Kandorith; he/him]
7. Joe Galbraith [he/him]
8. Lydia Nicholls [she/her]
9. Rick Goldsmith [he/him]
10. Takeshi Honda [Kandorith; he/him]
11. Bart Forrest [he/him]
12. Kelly Bayliss [she/her]
13. Sarah Parton [she/her]
14. Robert Williams [he/him]
15. Simon Baker [he/him]
16. Richard King [he/him]
17. Eva Wellesley [she/her]
18. Keith Surtees [he/him]
Manager: Rachel Schanke [Cassadaigua; she/her]

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:55 pm

OOC: Kudos to Ko, Squorn, Neph and Queb for providing relevant RP details about their nations and characters.

Oneshot: Arielle Richardson's Diary

26th September 1999
Dear Diary, the home and away games were testing enough: proper matches against proper youth academies playing in proper leagues... with proper terrible defences, I must add. But now, we are at the most crucial stage - the single-legged ties, the drama, the tension, the youth teams that only exist because the IFCF says the senior teams that supposedly share the same name entered the Champions' League group stages. And for whatever reason, we got drawn against Aminey. In Aminey. Yes, that one in Ko-oren. Too many things to see; too many things to do... but since Mr Lewis thought it was a "cultured place" (I'm told it is!), he just dragged us off to the Maison Collignon to watch some sort of opera after our training session. What it was, I can't quite remember. The first few minutes were a "bop," as most people my age say; everything after that was incomprehensible and it wasn't even Terranean. At least I got a couple of hours sleep and something to eat afterwards. Speaking of which, the game is in fourteen hours and I really must go to sleep, again.

27th September 1999
Dear Diary... that was good, wasn't it? I was honestly NOT expecting to get anything out of that game, never mind a 2-1 win. The dread took hold when Flori Vaillancourt - whoever he is - capitalised on a few sleek passes that I'm disappointed we didn't get to, then launched a one-touch effort just out of my grasp. There were a couple of other efforts by their (other?) forward players, but where I didn't get to them, I'm pleased to say our defenders - Charlotte, Parneta, Sam and Gordon - did. I'm well aware we play a 4-4-2 as opposed to the main club's 4-3-3, but their system hasn't exactly trickled down to the school yet; I'm very much grateful for that for two reasons. Firstly, our wide midfielders can focus on evading markers, passing and crossing; secondly, we have the flexibility to take off one of our strikers and know that it won't completely ruin our game plan. If you have to take a strict definition, Liam Farmer completely blew it apart because he came off the bench and turned the whole shebang around in five minutes. And I still had to put up with those pesky Ko-orenites snatching the ball and then firing it towards me from everywhere. How I coped, I'll never know.

28th September 1999
Dear Diary, yours truly and everyone else got The Reporter slid through our hotel doors yesterday. My roommate, Charlotte, told me to go to the back page. And there it was: "RANK AMATEURS: Aminey CS dumped out of Rising Stars Cup after 'fielding' ragtag bunch of college kids". I mean, they don't even have an official youth team. I didn't even know whether we were playing against the Universite des Arts' B team until just now! Now time for breakfast and the flight back home.

6th October 1999
Dear Diary, carbohydrates are supposed to be good for sportspeople but the good folk of Damogran, Algolia, the Squornshelan Remnant States, still have too many of them. This is supposed to be a nice, modern, welcoming place with a population several times the size of Saint Eleanor, never mind Aminey. I expected a good deal of culture, but all we got for breakfast was rice porridge, with some extremely poorly-baked flatbread on the side. It was still better than this afternoon's match against an incredibly average Algolia AC youth team that fielded nobody I'd ever heard of, finished sixth in the Confederate youth Series 1 last year, and - like groupmates Aminey - only got into this forsaken tournament because their seniors made the Champions' League group stages. Thank God we got rid of the Schools' Leagues twenty years ago. Anyway, Steve Wilson, our star striker, got the first and only goal ten minutes into the game and should have made it more. Whoever their star striker is was a bit quiet and had Algolia's best opportunity of the match (at least the best one I can remember) easily saved by yours truly. So onto the quarterfinals we go.

12th October 1999
Dear Diary, I am back at school! ...for now. It is all very boring exam revision, about which I will not torment you with the details. Suffice to say that when my mathematics teacher popped out of class, my classmate Harry - well-meaning, sometimes inaccurate, often the good kind of sceptical, and a man I consider to be a good friend - crossed the room, tapped on my desk and asked me "aren't you famous now, Arielle?" I just shook my head and told him I was a good member of the school community. Humility is a virtue, but I can understand why it might seem like a vice on occasions. (If you're wondering what he told me next, "you're literally one win away from going to Saint Eleanor.")

21st October 1999
Dear Diary, thank goodness for two things. Firstly, that the Ministry of Literacy and Numeracy steadfastly refuse to schedule any exams for the two Rising Stars Cup semifinals. And secondly, that exam season is between October 25th and November 12th in the first instance... oh, shit. Exams are next week. Thank goodness RSC finals week is back home; I can't imagine the headaches Robert Pike would have gone through nagging the Raynors or Christine the Second or some other member of royalty to set up a few exam stations for us lot. I mean, a lot of noise has been made about that one girl from Atoccia, but other than that. Speaking of Christine, the Quebecois are notorious for their partying habits. It appears that more than a few members of the squad decided that was a good idea, too, and went off to attend a couple of Treason's seedier nightclubs. They got back safe and sound and a little bit intoxicated and - owing to the fact that Eleanorian clubs only ever name seven subs and we can't have our numbers reduced so much we might lose by a substantial margin - got off with little more than an extremely sharp warning. Good heavens. I'd rather stay in my bedroom and read the memoirs of Brenecian politicians.

22nd October 1999
Dear Diary, it is 5:30pm and I am already incredibly weary of something. I'm not sure what, or why, although I'm slightly tempted to blame Praha Isbister. As far as I'm concerned, the girl was almost unplayable today - although the situation was much better in the first half when she was focused more on helping people than helping herself. Conveniently, those people couldn't take their chances when it mattered. She played the reverse card, naturally: first off, she presumably went on a long dribble that I barely noticed when I dove at her feet for a shot that had long since surged into the net; then fifteen minutes later, Anders Fleischer attempted a long-range effort which I punched away to my left, not knowing that Isbister would go for a "sensational" half-volley (the manager called it that); some time after that, she wanted the hat-trick but I just palmed the effort away, which Sam cleared away with more ease than it probably deserved. AFC Treason (or something like that) 2-0 us. At least we weren't playing René Skaé; the weather over here felt more like Saint Eleanor every winter than Saint Eleanor every 125 summers, and thank goodness. But if you don't mind, I'm going to continue studying for my exams now.

16th December 1999
Dear Diary, hopefully you've been keeping up well since we last talked a couple of months ago. If it matters, I'll be studying history at the University. (What kind? I'm definitely not touching the Anaian "founding." We never joined, we never left.) And yes, I will be keeping in touch every now and then, if you don't mind.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu Sep 01, 2022 4:55 pm

Congratulations to Whitehammer CS, the youth representatives of Athletic Saint Eleanor, on qualifying for the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 11. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Key players include goalkeeper #1 Melissa Jacob [she/her], centreback #3 Phil Ellis [captain; he/him], left midfielder #7 Kevin Marcus [he/him], and striker #9 Anna Dart [she/her]. The school's manager, Sarah Newbury [she/her; mother of Chloe from Nova Aegis], is happy to publish the full teamsheet on request.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2000

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the IFCF Rising Stars Cup since 1998, in time for the tenth IFCF cycle. (In theory, a CTS team can win the Showcase and enter the Cup Winners' Cup, too - although that would be extraordinarily unlikely.) It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 48 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools. Liberty and the other four best teams from the previous year (the University College, Saint Benedict's Catholic, the Army School and Parkside Community School) enter in the third round/round of sixteen; the rest begin from the first round. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2000 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1983. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's RSC and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either the CWC or the RSC in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's iteration - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, which is owned by the government of Squidroidia. The trials have varying levels of success, but at least one or two players are somehow offered contracts through these means every year.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
St George CS 1–0 Trident CS
North Seville CS 1–0 Queenston CS
Bonpool CS 1–2 Bramblewood CS
Airport CS 0–2 Marketplace CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–0 Deepchester CS
Eleanorian Academy 4–2 Oaktree CS
New Lizard CS 0–3 Army School
Jacobville CS 2–0 Grand Beach CS
Williamstown CS 1–0 Springfield CS
Elsmouth CS 0–2 Wellington CS
St Paul CS 3–0 Allington CS
Bishopgate CS 1–6 University College
Farbend CS 0–1 Buckhead CS
Crownedhead CS 2–4 Girls' Preparatory
Goldsmiths CS 3–3 Tannerton CS (4–3 AET)
Carpentersville CS 0–4 Millerham CS
Magna CS 3–0 Mount Dennis CS
Broadlands CS 3–0 Blackwood CS
Sunset Gates CS 2–2 Silverton CS (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Eastern Fell CS 0–0 Holland CS (0–0 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Richardgate CS 2–2 New Bayside CS (3–2 AET)
Brightway CS 2–0 New St Paul CS

Round 2
Bramblewood CS 5–4 Marketplace CS
St George CS 0–0 Richardgate CS (0–0 AET) (5–6 pen.)
Goldsmiths CS 0–2 Eleanorian Academy
Williamstown CS 0–3 Buckhead CS
North Seville CS 0–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Silverton CS 0–1 Broadlands CS
Girls' Preparatory 1–0 University College
Magna CS 3–0 Jacobville CS
Millerham CS 1–0 Army School
St Paul CS 3–2 Wellington CS
Brightway CS 0–0 Holland CS (0–0 AET) (7–6 pen.)

Round 3
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Brightway CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–0 Parkside CS (1–0 AET)
Richardgate CS 2–6 Girls' Preparatory
Broadlands CS 2–2 St Paul CS (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Millerham CS 0–1 Boys' Preparatory
Eleanorian Academy 1–2 Buckhead CS
Magna CS 0–0 Liberty (2–0 AET)
Newbanks CS 5–4 Bramblewood CS

Round 4
Newbanks CS 6–3 St Paul CS
[Sammy Jenkins 16', 33', 72', 74', Bryan Morris 51', Frank Johnson 60'; Ed Grant 20', 45+2', Lucy Warner 82']
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Magna CS
[Jamie Rollins 75']
Girls' Preparatory 0–1 Saint Benedict's Catholic
[Kate Jones 11']
Whitehammer CS 0–0 Buckhead CS (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout, Buckhead taking first: Sophie Horton GOAL, George Daniels GOAL, David Willis WIDE, Alison Bennett GOAL, Gavelzara xaDamareno GOAL, Stephen Francis SAVED, Keith Lewis GOAL, Mandy Green SAVED, Bob South GOAL]

Liberty, the Boys' Preparatory, Saint Benedict's Catholic, Newbanks Community School and Buckhead Community School will be automatically entered into the third round of the 2001 Charles Trump Shield.

Semifinals
Boys' Preparatory 2–0 Saint Benedict's Catholic
[Philip Stevens 35', Paul Woodacre 46']
Buckhead CS 1–2 Newbanks CS
[Gavelzara xaDamareno 78'; Sammy Jenkins 25', Laura Quentin 53']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2000 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Newbanks CS 0–1 Boys' Preparatory ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (45,318 in attendance)
[Luke Guinness 36']

Saint Eleanor will enter the Boys' Preparatory, the winners of the 2000 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 12. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers (all pronouns he/him): 1. Simon McDonald [GK]; 2. Jack Owen [LB]; 3. Paul Woodacre [RB]; 4. Kevin Harris [CM]; 5. Bill Barnett [CB]; 6. Henry Howard [CB; captain]; 7. Thomas Gold [LM]; 8. Adam Ronson [CM]; 9. Philip Stevens [ST]; 10. Luke Guinness [ST]; 11. Jack Lewis [RM]; 12. Dan Wheatley [GK]; 13. Chris Snell [LB]; 14. Dave Holder [CB]; 15. Richard Farmer [CM]; 16. Jamie Rollins [RM]; 17. Michael Curry [ST]; 18. Daniel Heath [LM]. They are joined by their manager, William Brunt [he/him].

Boys Preparatory will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Playing Fields 1 in Newbanks district, seated capacity 800. Although there are two Playing Fields shared between the Boys' and Girls' Preparatories, The Playing Fields 1 is the main pitch used, with TPF2 (which is standing room only) used - typically by the Girls' Prep - in case both schools need to play at home simultaneously. Following a generous donation in 1982, TPF1 boasts of a small uncovered grandstand on the long, eastern edge of the pitch - which not only helps distinguish itself from its younger counterpart, but also physically separates the pair.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Hiyashi Celestia won the Saint Eleanor League of 2000. This means that - should the club reach the group stages of Champions League 12 - Broadlands CS will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 12. (Their crest is also depicted to the right.) The manager, Harry Barker [he/him], is happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about his teamsheet should they ask for it.

Broadlands CS will play their home matches in the RSC at Northern Plain in Broadlands district, seated capacity 2,500. Northern Plain, when it isn't Hiyashi Celestia's training ground, is sometimes used by members of the local Hiyashi factory to have supposedly-informal kickabouts which invariably draw anybody who's off work and wants to turn up. (There are no turnstiles and admission will be free for all games, including RSC ties should they make them.) The Plain officially has two stands, both covered and both seated; those behind the goals stand at their own risk.

For recording the largest win at the 2000 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of University College into Vilitan Cove Invitational 17 - with Trident CS's application for VCI15 having been mysteriously pushed back a tournament. (President George Mitcham has refused to comment on allegations of fluid time. UC's crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the other battle ride the following, even more unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Andy Poulter [GK; he/him]; 2. Lara Torridge [LB; she/her]; 3. Phil Hastie [RB; he/him]; 4. Elizabeth King [CB; she/her]; 5. Joe Olding [CB; he/him]; 6. Sally Elliott [CM; she/her]; 7. Luke Barring [RM; he/him]; 8. Ewan Burton [CM; he/him]; 9. Caroline Howard [ST; she/her]; 10. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; she/her]; 11. Jonnie Perth [LM; he/him]; 12. Molly Fleet [CM; she/her]; 13. Tom Phillips [GK; he/him]; 14. Deborah Finnis [CB; she/her]; 15. Temalane Alchalera [LB; he/him]; 16. Amelia Fletcher [RM; she/her]; 17. Donald Lees [ST; he/him]; 18. Bill White [LM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Duncan Lewis [he/him].

University College will play their home matches in the VCI at The Old Field in Collegiate district, current seated capacity 1,500. This was Sword and Shield's home ground before reconstruction work on the University Grounds was finished in 1979. Watch out for a standard-issue and corrugated but still imposing grandstand, facing a covered standing-only area reserved for the presumably-"intimidated" visitors (although the University has offered to install seats there should the IFCF require them), the car park behind the east-facing goal (which snakes around the grandstand should you be afraid of horribly-placed shots), and the well-placed outer brick walls of the Physics Department building about twenty yards behind the west-facing goal.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Gavelzara xaDamareno. Known as Gavin to friends, xaDamareno was a sensation on the left flank for the Bucks - traditionally the weakest of the SEL-affiliated schools - as they made the final four for the first time in their history. Injecting flair of the kinds we rarely see from Juventud, never mind the local school team, xaDamareno is more of a creator than a complete, goalscoring winger; his pace and trickery is outstanding, but with minimal sacrifices to accuracy. Choosing a "best" performance of his would be challenging, but the most obvious contender is his performance in the last-sixteen upset against the Academy, where he set up the opening goal but then used a diverse set of techniques that put the Young Liberators off successfully marking him for a good portion of the game, by which point the damage had long been done.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu Sep 01, 2022 11:43 pm

The Saint Eleanor League of 2000

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 1999 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 11th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2000, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
All players with underlined names play for their national team as of the start of 2000.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Michael Kent [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [CAPTAIN] [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 31yo; she/her]; 10. Fred Newton [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 11. Lauren Pell [RM; 26yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 13. Esther Launceston [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 15. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Tim Driver [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [38yo; they/them]: Woolley got the Reds another title... too late to save his job. In his place comes the Qusmi, whose successful time as KFQ Qavazujzy player-manager was characterised by a pragmatic, perhaps hypersensitively adaptive strategy. But expect their impulses to be tempered by long-serving assistant Marie Ackroyd: she's transplanted a few recent local students (somewhat hawkish centreback Launceston, defensively-aware playmaker Jackett, supercharged winger Sareleva, and out-and-out goal hunter Driver) onto the bench for obvious reasons, and continues to insist on the 4-4-2 more broadly. Of course, there are last season's familiar names and their all-too-familiar tasks as well; they are at the heart of a focused, steady team who you wouldn't rule out for a title defence.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. Mike Derry [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 28yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 25yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 16. Richard King [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 24yo; she/her]; 18. Keith Surtees [ST; 30yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [37yo; she/her]: A surprise appointment by Celestia, the legendary Dagan proved to be a positive influence, quelling potential spats between the professionals and the labourers before they began and generally setting clear, attainable expectations of her players. Much like Athletic, who they ran ragged for last year's title, the strength of this squad is ldown the middle, with talented allrounder Joe Galbraith the best wide player. Honda may have fallen to the Kandorese national team's bench but is expected to keep up his performances, while Goldsmith really should follow his lead (he disappointed after 1999's summer break). In midfield, Nicholls will continue to improve her defending and passing while captain Kuronuma supports the strikers. Goalkeeper Ito may be the best member of a distinctly just-above-average defence.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. John Bailey [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 5. Luke Elliott [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 6. Liam West [CAPTAIN] [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Alice Christopher [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Sophie Wilton [ST; 30yo; she/her]; 10. Henry Green [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 11. Bobby Smith [RM; 32yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dan Davis [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 28yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 17. Richard Dale [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 29yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Derek Pittam [64yo; he/him]: Pittam, like most of his squad, is past his peak, running out of job opportunities, and liable to replacement by a much younger model. But by no means is his insistence on a good, consistent defence wavering: Wilton and Green are both thirty or so but like tracking back, making Newcastle the main attacking influence. The two youngest starters, Winchester and Grover, can both be aggressive on a particularly bad day, but both are (conversely) capable of starting surprise attacks from deep positions. A deep-lying Christopher, although not as destructive as the Tikariotian, is responsible for setpieces. Bailey, Elliott and West remain the best defensive nucleus in SEL history.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Barker [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 19yo; they/them]; 4. Scarlett Gilbert [CB; 32yo; she/her]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Bridget Coombe [CDM; 25yo; she/her]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 32yo; he/him]; 9. Adam Denby [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [CAM; 23yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. John McDonald [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh [LB; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 16. Laetitia Bryant [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Fetakela Manuta [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [45yo; he/him]: Manuta's mysteriously newfound love for flowing, attacking football with a midfield diamond is working, but it's hardly popular. Despite a solid IFCF debut, half of 1999's back four have quit, leaving young Qusmi Lynul-Sevet and seasoned local reserve Trellis to pick up the pieces; Farf fan favourite Fâerçâlenh stays on the bench. Coombe, in holding midfield, is certainly good enough for the national team, but might feel a bit overstretched this time with all change at the back; however, the attacking core (the fluid three up front, Short and Cooper out wide) remains from last year. Expect a toned-down, forwards-facing - and potentially disastrous - approach.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [CAPTAIN] [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 2. Amanda Thorpe [LB; 38yo; she/her]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. Matt Shilling [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Owen Prentice [RM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 10. Caitlynn Jones [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 11. Gionata Mariani [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Susie Furlong [CB; 30yo; she/her]; 15. Diana Ellison [RB; 31yo; she/her]; 16. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 19yo; they/them]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 25yo; he/him]; 18. Jack Markham [ST; 30yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [57yo; he/him]: A traditionalist in most senses of the word, Jones has turned the Unicorn from strugglers to IFCF contenders and shows no signs of stopping. Pazorzal remains the centre of the attack but should expect more backup from Macbonian second striker Mariani and creative midfielder Monaco than any of the wide players (all of whom are getting on in years and ability). As is typical of Eleanorian centreback pairings, Hughes is the cool and composed one with a famously-good relationship with the goalkeeper, national team reservist Wood; Francis, by contrast, will do almost anything to stop a good attack, earning himself about 1.3 red cards as a result. Jones, the more rounded of the central midfielders, is starting to dip; Wanar-Xalan should occasionally appear in her place.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Private; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [LB; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 4. Jennifer Smith [CM; Corporal; 29yo; she/her]; 5. Ken Wilkie [CB; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [CB; Lance-Corporal; 19yo; she/her]; 7. Evan Donald [LM; Lance-Corporal; 34yo; he/him]; 8. Eric Stone [CM; Sergeant; 25yo; he/him]; 9. Aidan Harris [CAPTAIN] [ST; Corporal; 34yo; he/him]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Darren Batchelor [RM; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Jordan Ellis [GK; Corporal; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Tom Wilkinson [CB; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 24yo; she/her]; 15. Eric Stone [CM; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 16. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 23yo; she/her]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Roger Elliott [53yo; General; he/him]: Although unlikely to break the Soldiers' decade-long title drought, Elliott still trusts in order and structure, and his side is naturally best at the back, where the starters - including Golden Backpack-winning smooth operator Livingston - all either could be or already are on the national team. Stone, finally in for Carson, adds fiery solidity to midfield; Gould, a hard but capable winger in Donald's mould, should come on for him late in most games. Captain Aidan Harris has said he wants to carry on for a few years but he too will likely give way to Bartley, letting Chorley finish the ninety and prove the bigger influence up front. Batchelor is becoming unremarkable and unwanted; Hebblethwaite, stronger and a touch more precise, is the future in right midfield.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 2. Matt Johnson [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 5. Bill Garton [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 22yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 25yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Paul Barring [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Polly Ground [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 15. Adam Simpson [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 16. Steve Parker [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 23yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [52yo; he/him]: A player-centred manager if anything, Graham sometimes disappointed on the cohesion side, especially at the back. Perhaps he should be blessed to have Squidroidians Katou and Fujiwara in the centre of defence, 1994 Golden Backpack winner Carla Hawkins in goal, and Johnson and Garton approaching their peaks (while Inkling Borysov and local Banbury take care of attacking from width). Much as he did with the Unicorn, Crawshaw should create chances more than take them and let the team revert to a 4-2-3-1 of sorts, with best friends Francis and Woodhouse holding the line in midfield and young gun Ishida no doubt priming himself to improve on last season's nine goals.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Sylvia Hollenberg [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 30yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [CAPTAIN] [RM; 29yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 22yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Sam Bradman [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Lucas Barrow [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Jon Levitt [RM; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Dan Brook [ST; 28yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [40yo; she/her]: Normally a professor of mechanical engineering at the University, Steele arrives with the simplest task possible: don't break anything. Replacing half of the starting lineup shouldn't augur well, but all of the newcomers won 1998's Charles Trump Shield with University College. Richardson, UC's captain when they saw Shield glory and made the RSC quarters, should have a good enough time if she convinces the hands-off but capable defence to shape up. Marcus, very much a hotshot at the start of the RSC, will want to start firing in one of the most capable and fluid attacking ensembles in the league. At 5'9'', Hollenberg barely passes for a capable midfield allrounder, but has more than proven herself in Atoccia's far more demanding schools infrastructure - plus she's a literal member of royalty. And then there's Jessica Martin. Do I really need to remind you about Jessica Martin again?

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 22yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 31yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [CAPTAIN] [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 24yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 10. Patrick Budd [ST; 34yo; he/him]; 11. Tim Brandon [RM; 24yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CB; 31yo; she/her]; 15. Will Edgebrook [LB; 32yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 28yo; she/her]; 17. Sara Halbrook [ST; 22yo; she/her]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [43yo; she/her]: The Tinhamptonian ex-goalkeeper successfully smacktalked the Dolphins into a bad-but-not-horrible ninth-place finish in her first season as a manager. She'll continue to provide the motivation - and hopefully another IFCF place before 2007-ish - while Adam Salt continues to mentor her on tactics. Look out for the tested 4-4-2 with Parson learning to hold the line, Newbridge remaining strong (literally) in defence, Martins in particular falling back when necessary, and Brandon, Harris and McNamara steering the attack again.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stephen Wright [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Collins [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 30yo; she/her]; 4. Coluseris Dalousol [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Davina Salt [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [CB; 37yo; she/her]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 7. Greg Mallett [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Anne Hoar [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 32yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 11. Ronald Silliman [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Tracy Greenport [LB; 34yo; she/her]; 14. Pete Dervish [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 15. Susie Macintyre [LM; 29yo; she/her]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 17. David Lenham [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Cameron Jack [46yo; he/him]: Possibly the greatest manager in Aegis' history by virtue of not being sacked after two seasons, Jack has done a wonderful job at solidifying the back while somehow getting the best out of George Guest. But for how much longer? The squad is getting old, predictable, and (to a great extent) rapidly tired: we all know that Guest bangs them in, Silliman helps him out, the defenders are more physical than refined and the wingers are barely okay. The youth hasn't been much better since the Schools' League era, although we can give somewhat good fullback Collins and versatile midfielder Lane their due. He'll be gone by September.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-5-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 2. Joe Folsom [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 5. Anthony York [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 29yo; she/her]; 7. Falareta Wesevta [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Peter Simpson [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 11. Jack Smith [ST; 31yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 13. Daniel Jenkins [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Jonas [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 15. Kieran Gardner [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 17. Eric Morrison [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [39yo; she/her]: Who else? "Quirky," former captain and all-round club legend, takes the reins of an argumentative, uninspiring squad that finished below every non-Juventud side last year and needs an infusion of youth, stat. Drafting in free agent, former Pemecutanian youth international, and (as per Kirkport) "classically-trained defender" Sofyan should help. Everything else about the setup - except for Bryant's four-and-a-half lungs, Daltrey's unexpected poacher's instinct, and Downing's general development as a goalkeeper - says "AHHHHHHHHHHHH HELL NO". They'll finish ninth, tops.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Chloe Butler [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 2. Dan Woodcock [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 3. Lucy Miller [RB; 21yo; she/her]; 4. Anna Butcher [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 6. Rick Street [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Daisy Woodley [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 8. Lucas Richards [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 9. Tim Hart [CAPTAIN] [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 10. Gary Wellington [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 11. Baraveral Helipovala [RM; 19yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Jack Davison [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Paxevalona voSalnafera [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Josh Samuels [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Gregory McInnes [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Sarah Gardner [LM; 19yo; she/her]; 18. Beth Stevens [ST; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [60yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them from scraping six or seven points on the regular; expect more of the same in 2000. Hart, in his final year, will likely make another good impression; of the other holders, Shepley and Woodley look like the least worst of a terrible bunch. If Millerham's surprise run to the quarters of the 1998 Shield was anything to go by, then-captain Helipovala will make a neat impression. The substitutes will invariably take up nondescript working-class jobs.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 7
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

* * * * * * * * * *

League review (by James Warwick of The Reporter)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2000     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   15   3   4    49   36  +13    48
 2 Independence 1975                  22   13   3   6    35   17  +18    42
 3 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   13   3   6    50   34  +16    42
 4 Sword and Shield                   22   12   5   5    49   34  +15    41
 5 Golden Unicorn                     22   11   6   5    30   24   +6    39
 6 Occidental Olympic                 22   11   2   9    40   38   +2    35
 7 Good Hope Club                     22   10   4   8    32   35   −3    34
 8 Grand Beach                        22    8   5   9    19   23   −4    29
 9 Army and Navy                      22    6   6  10    30   30    0    24
10 Newbanks United                    22    5   5  12    19   30  −11    20
11 Juventud                           22    3   3  16    30   54  −24    12
12 Nova Aegis                         22    1   3  18    20   48  −28     6

Hiyashi Celestia deserved to win the league, and by six points. They racked up three solid victories and earned a draw against Golden Unicorn, but then got two points in four against the likes of Newbanks United and Good Hope Club - form worthier of fourth than first. Yet they proved almost world-beating after April 25th, losing against GHC and Independence again but winning all the rest, with Athletic, Sword and Shield, Olympic (twice) and the Unicorn all swept aside or thereabouts. Takeshi Honda, the league's top scorer yet again with nineteen goals, often proved the difference in close games. Strike partner Rick Goldsmith found the target eleven times and is gradually adjusting to the pressures of league football, although the IFCF remains a challenge. Lydia Nicholls is an incessantly hard-nosed pragmatist with a bit of a temper, which either makes her an obvious PR disaster or a bastion of Hiyashi's core values. Nicole Morlock, still a high-quality if conservative leftback, remained the best of a group of defenders at their peak. Shojiro Ito is becoming a better goalkeeper, but very slowly; he may have forgotten at times that Kaya Michiyu's national team strategy is overly youth-focused. His compatriot Nobusuke Kuronuma wants to be remembered as a sleek, perhaps overly-rounded midfielder, but will either have to be supported by even better players or tone down his adventurousness. Rachel Schanke, once a legendary striker, has finally led Celestia to the title - but whether her third year will be marked by a long-awaited spending spree she still might not have the bargaining power to pull off or a tiring low-intensity dispute with the megacorp about tactics and strategy will be determined in the coming offseason.

Independence 1975 had an even worse start, winning just one of their first six (against Juventud), tying Nova Aegis, losing at home to Athletic, and stuck around seventh for the first two-thirds of the season, capped off with a home defeat to Good Hope. But that proved the catalyst for winning all of their last seven: hammering Celestia 3-0, getting their revenge over the Reds, nearly doubling their tally while only allowing three - surely one of the biggest turnarounds in league history. The attack was at its best since 1997: Henry Green and Sophie Wilton nearly got into double figures apiece despite their years, with national-teamer David Newcastle continuing to pull his weight in the scoring department (he netted seven, improved on last year) - and his deputy Jon Harp proving himself more than capable of regular starts with excellent showings against most of the bottom half. Despite manager Derek Pittam's best attempts to tame her, Layla Grover has become a true firebrand: she clocked another red card this year on top of a few yellows, thankfully as a result of a mostly-cynical sliding tackle on Chorley, but is helping to rapidly set up big plays. Five of Indy's seventeen conceded came in rounds 15 and 16; most of the blame can be levied on Elliott's mistakes. He was the worst member of Indy's defence, but it is the best and arguably the least pretentious backline in the league. The remaining four members of that particular band are not losing their stature, skills or significance any time soon.

Athletic Saint Eleanor did not keep and should not have kept the title. It took a while for them to set off, too, but they inflicted Arsenal's first defeat in round eight, crept into second in round nine, beat Indy and the Soldiers in the next two to go top... and then stayed behind the new blues for most of the second half. Crashing 5-3 in Broadlands was understandable; dropping second-half points against the Big Four they had outclassed in the first was questionable; the home draw to Grand Beach was inexcusable. Nightingale was down a couple of goals on last year, perhaps due to Graham Lawson and Tim Driver making impactful arrivals to the stage, Driver in particular scoring twice as a sub to help the Reds draw 2-2 during Newbanks United's visit. Harriet Williams has most certainly still got it but is becoming less and less accurate with each day; you have to feel as though the pegasus will inherit her greatest duties when she retires in a few years. Wlad Wlad, likewise falling from the Rekan national team's radar, remained a competent but not gamechanging centreback; he was at least better than a pathetic Michael Kent, who was routinely exposed over the first two-thirds of the campaign. A sloppy home display against Juventud, of all teams, proved fatal; Yelto-Aflan Ono, who had been taking him off for Esther Launceston before the summer holidays, finally started the towering 19-year-old for the final five, where she performed competently despite some room for improvement.

Sword and Shield were table-topping invincibles in their first seven, then didn't win any of the next five and were three points from fourth. While their second-half fightback, where they beat Athletic and Indy (and kept Celestia to a one-goal win, their only loss of a seven-game spell), put them in the top third again, Golden Unicorn leapfrogged them with a 1-0 win in the third-to-last round - but Arsenal won as expected over Juventud and United, while the Unicorn lost to Indy, to earn a well-deserved IFCF return. Except for an often undercovered Gordon Pratt, the new arrivals acquitted themselves: Alexandra Marcus got eleven goals and set up a few more, roughly as expected; Princess Sylvia was actually a quietly competent midfielder, focusing on winning and recycling possession while avoiding ridiculous shots; Arielle Richardson is a significant improvement on Will Gregory in terms of quality, ability and demeanor; Lucas Barrow, although a reservist, was often above-average when he did play. Christine Terrence, now a full-time, starting centreback, has gotten almost as close as you can get to thriving in this defence. Maddie Gordon is still ticking away but more quietly, perhaps a sign that new manager Emma Steele has given the team a stronger sense of positional awareness; Hugh Roanoke and captain Jessica Martin have nonetheless had more than their fair share of goal involvements (particularly from setpieces) and remain willing to cut inside if that helps the Collegiates get a point... or three.

Golden Unicorn led the table with 23 points from their first ten, having matched Celestia pound-for-pound and then held onto a lead for 80 minutes at Athletic, but their next win after that was a fifteenth-round 1-0 over a Nova Aegis with a new manager. The Unicorn were four points clear of fifth after the holiday, but Arsenal and Indy proved too strong after a surprise 3-2 loss at Juventud and they just missed out on the last day. Melcheta Pazorzal scored twelve, as he did last season. Matt Shilling and Owen Prentice, while effective at times, have long peaked: Gionata Mariani often dropped back to help Natalie Monaco instead, as everyone expected; they scored about five each but shared most of the assists between them, as everyone also expected. Wanar-Xalan Tla wasn't on Caitlynn Jones' level - they are still 19 - but is growing as a marker, tackler and distributor, perhaps so that Monaco won't have to do that come 2003. Aaron Francis will surely be capped in a few years: he snapped back at Georgia Wood sometimes, as he does, but generally tackled in the right times and places while cultivating his relationship with Logan Hughes. No wonder they only allowed twenty-four.

Occidental Olympic had their old squad rift return: with Exandra Davies now at Quebec's Winnipeg United and concerned Vanorian centreback Ottilia Berg repatriated to Wexax United, Fetakela Manuta equivocated between reinforcing attack and restoring neutrality, and failed. The club won five in a row in the first half of the season, three on the bounce in the second - sandwiched by two 5-4 losses (against Newbanks United and Celestia) that were terrifying more than fun - and just three of the other twelve; only the scalps of Indy, Arsenal and the Unicorn were notable. Nobody expects Manuta to stay. Bridget Coombe, who made a few unforced errors but was actually very good, may want to go too. Scarlett Gilbert plans to retire after making huge mistakes which cost the club home wins over United and Army; Lynul-Sevet Pul, who avoided them, was the best starting defender by far. Adam Denby only scored seven and even got sent off at Nova Aegis, but thinks the defending's somehow improved. Samuel Short, though solid, wants to drop the armband; likely heir Steve Pilchard (who had a hand in half of the goals) wouldn't leave if Raynor City United offered a billion dollars. Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh, who scored the winner at Indy, was somehow their fifth-best player.

Good Hope Club spent almost the entire season hovering just below the IFCF spots; although they got all twelve points against Celestia and Indy and earned an away win in the derby against Grand Beach, they were seriously unfortunate to lose 6-1 at home to Athletic and deserved more than a last-day draw against Juventud. Mary Kirkport has done excellently to curb the arbitrary squad disputes and get the very best out of an extraordinarily mediocre team. Falareta Wesevta was okay but sometimes didn't look the part, even if the consensus appears to be that he has almost certainly reached his use-by date - a summary that could apply almost word-for-word to striker Jack Smith. Charlotte Bryant was hardly fussed by long-time girlfriend Davies' move to Quebec; she has finally settled into a deeper role and is working well with the centrebacks, notably captain Laura Brown, at this point the more radical of the two. Yusuf Sofyan, the only new arrival, may have infused old-school hardball into the Seasiders' traditionally slick defence, but has probably done more than anyone else to cut out wasteful play and (too often) dropped points at the back. And as we saw against the two big-money blues, Hannah Downing finally came into her own as a goalkeeper - and is starting to regularly build up play from the back, a rarity among Eleanorians and perhaps a warning of strategy to come from future defenders. This is Good Hope's best season since 1992; how good will it get once the new generation comes through?

Grand Beach actually had a good start, getting ten points from their first six after a win in Trident, but then rapidly folded against better opposition (and Army and Navy) to find themselves above only Nova Aegis and Juventud after ten. A six-game unbeaten run, including a 0-0 against Athletic and an unnecessarily entertaining 4-4 at Sword and Shield, proved good enough for eighth; a mixed bag of results at the end (a 1-0 win at Parkside the only surprise among them) kept them there. With Patrick Budd often playing in a more withdrawn role, the new trio up front was only good in relation to the rest of the team, with Rachel McNamara "leading" at six goals. She is getting the support she needs, but it is being impacted by a failure to move towards a more fluid system of play - a failure which may be understandable, given manager Julia Atherton's multiple years of experience under far more defensive leadership, but hardly conscionable to most fans today. Christina Fulton, returned to her home club after a few surprisingly good years at Juventud, was as good as most of us thought, regularly getting forward and sometimes outshining Liz Harris, while Sam Newbridge reaffirmed his already-strong credentials elsewhere in defence; but Gavin Parson has done very little of note and Alex Martins has far too many copycats. The Dolphins have gotten two seasons of continuity from a manager who wanted change, which begs the question: why?

Army and Navy owned a fairly balanced first-half record which included a draw to Indy, a 1-0 win over Grand Beach - and the small matter of smashing Juventud 7-2. Yet that eleventh game, a 2-0 loss to Athletic, was the start of a horrid run of form where they drew four, lost six, won their penultimate game 3-0 over Aegis and shocked the Reds on the final day. Everybody must do better, but especially Ken Wilkie, who barely learned (if at all) from his multiple failings in 1999, a luxury he cannot afford given a lack of younger and better defenders in the Army pool - a factor which could also help explain the failure of Roger Elliott's summertime attempt to play his three "official" centrebacks together. There is every chance that Aidan Harris, finally outstripped by teammate Noah Chorley in the goalscoring charts, would be outstripped by Janice Bartley if she got more minutes: during the ten-game winless run, he had plenty of opportunities to turn eventual draws against Grand Beach and the Unicorn into wins, but simply could not convert them. Eric Stone is a good midfielder, but he just does not provide the same va va voom as did old Matthew Carson - especially not from free-kicks, which are now by and large the responsibility of Alan Hebblethwaite, an excellent winger whose newfound regular starting position has proven Elliott's best midseason idea.

Newbanks United, put simply, were underwhelming. Nova Aegis and Juventud were the only other teams not to have won after eight games, and even they had the tenacity to score more than five in that time. They did the double over nobody: consecutive wins over Juventud, Olympic and Arsenal were a false dawn, as only bottom-feeders Army and Aegis followed in the W column (and they got just one draw, 0-0 against the Unicorn, after those opening horrors). Nobuyuki Ishida, although still the more sporadic (or perhaps focused) of the club's strikers, had another good year, scoring seven goals but too often let down by a lack of secondary firepower. That backup was often supposed to come from Wayne Crawshaw, who provided an important physical presence but only found the net five times, and Hamnet Borisov, who remained tricky and ridiculously pacey but could not make his dribbles count. Emma Francis and Rachel Woodhouse were holding midfielders, for the most part, but not particularly stereotypical ones; they might have to learn to cut out some of their more wasteful elements of play. Daiki Fujiwara continues to adapt well to the local game; Kōji Katou, almost a mentor to him and everyone else in the squad, has at least attempted to clean up his act and United's defence has been better for it. And Carla Hawkins was sensible enough not to get herself suspended again, which likely played at least some factor in avoiding ridiculous scorelines. Ian Graham may well see this as a very qualified improvement, but failing to substantially rotate his squad may be turning into a problem.

Juventud struggled as usual: draws against Nova Aegis and Arsenal were their only big first-half results, and they had gotten no other points by round seventeen other than a win over an Army and Navy team who had destroyed them 7-2 in the second game of the season. But Paul Dennis' preparation for life after Fulton (now at Grand Beach), Roberts (at Sun City Flames, a Llamaphant Pro Baseball team) and Parker (at a fitness centre in St Paul district) paid off superbly in the final five, as they defeated United and the Unicorn, tied Good Hope and incredibly finished six points clear of Aegis. No longer troubled by Parker, Tim Hart scored a third of the Young's thirty goals, only the second player to score ten in a season for Juventud. The secondary attacking impulse was not Gary Wellington, who often struggled in a 4-4-2 system that Dennis has gotten far too familiar with, but Baraveral Helipovala, a woman who can (and often will) skip past an average leftback given the chance, try to get a cross in and then go for goal off the rebound - if it happened. Despite what The Turnip might well suspect a few years from now, Rick Street was not pedestrian: he arguably outshone Stephen Shepley, regularly putting in challenges, hounding opposing strikers and helping the worst defence in the league concede far less when it actually mattered. Chloe Butler was not a good goalkeeper, but then she is about as good as Juventud are going to get for the foreseeable future.

Nova Aegis were shit - they haven't been shittier since 1977 - and we can't even blame "a fractured dressing room." The once-feted Cameron Jack scraped three draws in fourteen games, one of which admittedly came against Indy; a 6-3 hammering at Northwest Road, when Nightingale and Harriet Williams scored three apiece, proved his undoing. Iconic South Newlandian striker Simon McCabe arrived to improve the situation in the final eight, which he did not: Aegis scraped a 5-4 win over Juventud, George Guest scoring twice in ten minutes of stoppage time, and lost all the rest. Guest got eight of the club's twenty goals and is finally dipping, if gradually. Chris Collins could have escaped a few years ago, but refused; it sometimes felt like he couldn't handle anything faster than a slug. Ronald Silliman, who scored just three, is living up to his name; Greg Mallett frankly did not deserve most of his starts; almost everyone else is erring at basic tasks far too often. And while McCabe struggled to motivate his players, he can prove himself next year if he wants; we should be blaming Jack, who stayed for far too long (even by Aegis' trigger-happy standards) and paid the price.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Sep 03, 2022 8:55 pm

OOC: Pursuant to the TW36 Newswire, I've assumed that Pasargan teams played their IFCF "home" ties in Valladares, where the league has been moved due to the situation in the country. ESF can correct me if I'm wrong, however.

IFCF 11 review (by Isobel Clark of The Northern Mail)

Occidental Olympic, alone among the Eleanorians, started their Challengers' Cup in the preliminary round - and, in common with most of them, had a rough ride. The 2-0 win over Prime Para United in Ancherion, with a typical Steve Pilchard masterclass to match, was a good start; the shaky 2-2 draw at the Parkside, where they wasted the lead twice and had Lynul-Sevet Pul sent off early for a bad challenge, was not. The Westerners would have loved them back for their first qualifying round home leg against Tikariot's Ancarea FC, but it was a much older and shakier Chris Barker who had to face Mertagnian Martine Aldergrass instead; she ran rings around the pseudo-rightback and scored both of the Hogs' goals in a valuable win. She proved handy at Old Church Road, too, but it was Delphi Clemaron who put most of the nails in Olympic's coffin. Hard as steel indeed.

Independence 1975 were okay, but hardly great. They opened their Challengers' Cup in the first qualifying round by winning twice against a sorry Sol de Anaia; Layla Grover set the tempo, setting up two of Indy's three first-leg goals (the third was Henry Green reacting to a low Bobby Smith cross), working almost too hard to stop the opposition finding the net in the second leg, and miraculously not getting carded. Despite facing another Yguazúense team in the second qualifying round, their experience could not have been more disastrous: Cerro Pintado's star striker netted twice on home turf in the first half, before one of their wingers rather dubiously evaded Donald Hutchings to make it 3-0 five minutes after the break. Jon Harp's second-leg piledriver into the bottom-right corner, the decider of a match that was far more even than anyone needed or predicted, was scant consolation for the Liberators.

The less said about Hiyashi Celestia's so-called campaign, the better. Takeshi Honda put his side up against SC Montfort (one of the weaker seeds of the Challengers' Cup's second qualifying round) via a penalty thirty minutes into the first leg. Not to be outdone, Damian Weaver found a wonderful solo goal after the break and helped Penelope van Drunen put the Licentians in front with fifteen minutes left; captain Nobusuke Kuronuma found a rapid equaliser to avoid embarrassment in turn. Yet Weaver - again - put a stake through Celestia's hopes in Esportiva: after receiving a cross from compatriot Nick Goulan minutes into the second half, he cut a close-range half-volley across Shojiro Ito and inside the side-netting. The Angels' few attempts at equalising never came off and their IFCF campaign, too, ended before the league had begun. It got worse in the preliminary round of the Cup Winners' Cup: they were generally pathetic across the board as they lost both legs to Squidroidia's KC Sports Club, and lucked out when a KC substitute turned the ball into his own net late in the first tie.

The IFCF's new Associations' Trophy guarantees six games and oodles of revenue to just about every national champion. Tempting, but not tempting enough for Athletic Saint Eleanor. They began by conquering Al Ain SC, winners of Cherqstan's apparently non-multiassociational league, in an tie that saw three goals in extra time at Northwest Road; Khaled bin Ali thought he had "won" it for the tourists when his drive slid past Stuart Norton with 113 minutes gone, but with stoppage time looming, Esther Launceston mercifully headed a free kick past captain Faisal bin Hamdan to consign Al Ain to the Challengers' Cup (good thing she's six foot two). The Reds were much less troubled by Sindvpore FC of Indusse: Tim Driver netted three in a 5-1 aggregate win, with Nightingale and Wasemprela Sareleva popping up too.

The first team ever to play an Eleanorian side in the Champions' League third qualifying round was thus AC Mariina, holders of the Mrii Remnants, who were somehow crushed. While Dietmar Sattelmaier made them chase the lead with twenty minutes gone, they did so in style, with Nightingale - who else? - scoring twice, Harriet Williams nailing a signature free kick, and Graham Lawson ending Mariina's hopes of an Oboruura Ÿsar-inspired comeback at the death. Despite letting Næmor Paala in an hour into an otherwise goalless away leg, Athletic had sealed a place in a legacy IFCF group stage; which one, of course, rode on their playoff against Mytanija's Atletik Thessia. Despite the 5-3 result, they were in control of the tie from the beginning (Williams scored a quick penalty to give her team a resilient home lead after the pegasus was tripped by Foma Koshkin) to the end (with the Mytanar leg 1-1 at half time, Norton did well to stop Huayramarcan striker Gabriel Sayritupac doubling his tally, allowing the Reds to sit back and ultimately relax as Lauren Pell found the winner).

As the dust settled at the Novi Atletskistadion, Poafmersia's finest data analysts found that Athletic's six wins, one draw and ticket to the Champions' League groups had given Saint Eleanor 10.5 association coëfficient points - the best individual performance of any club in the qualifiers. (The other Eleanorians scraped 5 between them.) All the memories made against titleholders Fontvielle Impact, world number-ones Raynor City United and underheralded Straudum VV: where do you start? The zero-from-six start, a tricky visit to Ko-oren followed by Reed, Çídh and all the rest scoring five without reply at Northwest Road? The first point, as John Tresco's early header gave them (short-lived) hope of a home win over Impact? The inaugural win, 2-1 over the Gatekeepers, as Driver somehow found the right response to Tijl Scherpenkate at the right times? The stunning 3-3 at the Battleground, where the Reds chased a two-goal deficit for sixty minutes but closed the gap almost at the last possible moment? Or the IFCF claiming that Straudum beat Athletic to the Challengers' Cup - a competition they ended up winning - due to head-to-head away goals, which haven't mattered in the qualifiers and knockouts since 1996?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Whitehammer Community School at least held their own against the juniors - and they beat Straudum twice. The 2-1 in Ko-oren and the 4-2 on their own patch proved to be their only group stage wins, but - paired with two 1-1 draws against Sion-Impact OSC, the Fontvielle Impact academy, and a 3-3 against the young Rockers (this time at home) - that sufficed to confirm their place in the knockouts with one game remaining. Succumbing to a last-day defeat against United, in which tough centreback and school team captain Phil Ellis earned himself a red card within ten minutes for a reckless challenge, quashed their hopes of automatic progression to the last sixteen, but Anna Dart's brace was enough to give her six of the school's thirteen group stage goals.

After Kevin Marcus and standin skipper Dart scored to help the Hammers win 2-0 over the academy of NK Pionir Podgora in the playoffs, they were mysteriously assigned to play at home against Straudum again. Good news for Athletic, but bad news if you're a stickler for the IFCF Competition Regulations, which forbid clubs from the same group or association being drawn against each other at this phase. A protest lodged by Ellis, of all people, about this fell on deaf ears across IFCF Headquarters, but It hardly mattered as the Eleanorians won by the odd goal in three (a scoreline that was about right given the quality of the two teams). Ultimately, the Herzegovina City juniors proved a step too far for Whitehammer, as Treason's did for University College in 1999 - although this year's cohort did at least have the dignity to keep their opposition to a single, late goal which Sarah Newbury remains absolutely adamant was offside. It's not like they can afford to install VAR at the Community Grounds, anyway.

Parkside Community School had to graft their way into the Rising Stars Cup playoffs. Their opener very much had shades of the parent club's brawl with Prime Para: after a challenging, back-and-forth 2-2 while hosting the Southend AC Academy, the young Westerners snatched a decisive second-leg advantage, David Key scoring from the edge of the area before setting up substitute Keith Mewis with an excellent free kick. Their second-round tie was against Pasarga's youth champions, Tanrısal, who proved a less stern test than anybody seriously expected: after a first leg where both the goals and almost all the big action was scrunched into the first half an hour, part two was more evenly spread out, as Tanı squeezed themselves into a lead they would hold onto over half-time. It was not to last, as Sophie Browning embarked on a remarkable solo dribble which she wrapped up with a neat equaliser, before Key - who else? - notched a late winner. They ran out of gas against Cednia Beach's youth team, however; after a stop-and-start first 45, the visitors found it easy to convert the first corner of the second half, giving the Coconuts an advantage they would take all the way into the quarterfinals and pushing the hosts, tired and outpaced as they were, even more onto the back foot.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:59 pm

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2000 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Hiyashi Celestia: 1 (1999)

Round of Sixteen

Nova Aegis 1–2 Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team)
[Ronald Silliman goal 79'; Luke Guinness missed penalty 12', Luke Guinness goal 35', Jamie Rollins goal 64']
Every Showcase has an upset (sample size: one), and this year is no exception. Perhaps it should be, given how atrocious Aegis have been throughout the course of the season. 37-year-old Davina Salt gets the Pink Falcons off to a bad start when she trips Luke Guinness inside the box; although he scuffs his penalty and then skies an excellent opportunity from open play, it proves to be a story of third time lucky as he latches onto a searing through-ball from Adam Ronson and converts with aplomb. The Bramblewood side, largely on equal terms for most of the first half, show themselves to be particularly weak up front - their only serious opportunity before the break is a weak, easily-saved effort by Greg Mallett - and should have considered themselves lucky to only be 1-0 down. Signs of improvement appear in the second half, as George Guest finally gets going with a couple of testy shots while Mallett has the best chance, pushed onto the post by Simon McDonald. The urgency of the situation is only escalated by Jamie Rollins' 25-yarder, and while it is Guest's strike partner Ronald Silliman who delivers a late goal for Nova Aegis, they cannot find the one that matters. "Good in parts" is perhaps the only accurate assessment of their performance.
Saint Benedict's Catholic (independent CTS team) 0–1 Newbanks United
[Emma Francis goal 18']
Ben's were surprisingly solid in the Charles Trump Shield, not conceding a goal in the first four rounds before falling 2-0 to the Boys' Prep; if they were going to repeat that against any of the seniors, they'd repeat it against Newbanks, fairly tepid up front in the league season but hardly one of the giants either. Well, at least if you're going to take "up front" literally. Emma Francis, a deep-lying midfielder by trade, broke the deadlock early on (and it wasn't even her first goal in this competition), setting off a well-controlled shot from just outside the box which rebounded in off the post. On the whole, however, this was easily the least entertaining and arguably the most repetitious of the last sixteen ties: Saint Benedict's were focused on sitting back and committing to breaks they were nowhere near pulling off, although some of their more successful early interceptions did pose a serious threat to Carla Hawkins' clean sheet, while United's simple game plan of sending the ball to the wings and whipping it towards Nobuyuki Ishida always fell apart at some stage - although the Squidroidian did score with about fifteen minutes to go, only to be flagged offside.
Good Hope Club 3–1 Juventud
[Dan Woodcock own goal 16', Sarah Daltrey goals 43' and 66'; Tim Hart goal 57']
Good Hope Club are bad at attacking. Juventud are bad, full stop. Who wins? We got an early hint of the answer when a previously-nondescript Dan Woodcock hilariously deflected a clearance by Juventud keeper Chloe Butler into his own net (although you should give her credit for at least backtracking as fast as she could). His day went from bad to worse after being repeatedly beaten on pace and power by the Seasiders' experienced winger Sarah Daltrey, who nearly set up Jack Smith to make it 2-0 - but, after he fluffed his lines, decided she'd take matters into her own hands and hammered a shot right into the middle of the goal with minutes before half-time. After Good Hope's Pemecutanian sensation Yusuf Sofyan got himself booked for a clumsy attempt to win the ball off Juventud captain Tim Hart ten minutes into the second half, the final-year student scored the last goal of his Juventud career, just about bending the ball past the wall and Hannah Downing too. Any hope he had of scoring a meaningful second was erased when Daltrey doubled her scoresheet, getting an overhit cross before centering herself and calmly sliding her shot underneath Naveral gaBrexpara - and, while he should have converted a header a few minutes later, it just scraped the bar and went over. The Young never seriously looked like getting back into the game and were once again out at the first time of asking.
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–2 Independence 1975
[Henry Green goal 64', Jon Harp goal 85']
The Derby. The two biggest, grandest, and perhaps most passionate clubs in the entire country go head to head in what promises to be a terse, exciting final... wait, this is the octofinal. And there weren't any red cards. There weren't even any yellows until John Tresco decided it'ld be a good idea to rile up Layla Grover - twenty-five minutes in. (Mercifully, she did not retaliate.) Although Harriet Williams came close with a free kick just after that, Indy's game plan for the first half consisted in keeping Athletic in possession and chasing the ball amongst themselves, in the hopes of having enough energy to chase a winner in the second half. While Yelto-Aflan Ono brought on youngsters Michael Jackett and Tim Driver at the break, they proved to be ineffective at best and damaging at worst: the Liberators opened the scoring when Grover intercepted a badly-timed pass from Jackett, lofting the ball towards Henry Green, who - despite forcing Stuart Norton into a reflex save with his first attempt - found his second try to be much easier. A substitute of Derek Pittam's own proved to be decisive: Jon Harp made an almost immediate impact, striking the woodwork a few minutes after coming on before making it 2-0 with five minutes to go, a sumptuous low effort. Nightingale tired away throughout the 90 and had more than a few efforts denied, but most of them would have never sufficed for a comeback, never mind a respectable result.
Buckhead CS (Juventud youth team) 0–0 Hiyashi Celestia (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout, Celestia taking first: Takeshi Honda GOAL, Sophie Horton SAVED, Joe Galbraith GOAL, David Willis GOAL, Lydia Nicholls GOAL, Gavelzara xaDamareno GOAL, Keith Surtees GOAL, Keith Lewis POST]
The Bucks should have been steamrollered by any objective measure, but they weren't, and for good reason. They were excellent at the back, know how man-marking works, tried to pump long balls to strikers Sophie Horton and Keith Lewis on the regular (with at least some degree of success), and were pragmatic in deciding where to build up their play rather than just chucking it to Gavin and hoping for the best - all quantities you would quite honestly expect the local university's football team to have. That is not to say that Celestia did not have their chances as well, but they just did not convert: although Takeshi Honda and friends managed to avoid the kinds of silly mishits we saw of other losers this round, Honda in particular could have done much better than just drilling his team's best opportunity of the game wide. Nor could the Angels as a team profit from Buckhead throwing the kitchen sink at them in the hope of a good counter-attack or three, because (after the first half an hour or so) they just sat back and waited for penalties. Once they got there, however, a pair of misses saw them unable to join the Boys' Prep in the quarterfinals.
Grand Beach 0–1 Golden Unicorn
[Christina Fulton red card 63'; Jack Markham goal 70']
Be under no illusions about the "new direction" Grand Beach has been supposed to take for a while - that extra sparkle just isn't there. Bizarrely, the Dolphins largely neglected their wingers in this match, choosing instead to channel play through central midfielders Alex Martins and Douglas Westwood before moving the ball onto the strike partnership. Perhaps as a result of this, Rachel McNamara was off colour and barely had a shot, although Patrick Budd - wizened enough to remember the days when his club were lucky to have any forwards momentum at all - pitched a couple of shots that turned out okay but not great. The Unicorn tried to exploit this obvious shift, despite being weaker in the wide positions, but forgot that the opposing fullbacks were doing their jobs. Perhaps too well: Christina Fulton, who isn't normally this conservative, decided to send Owen Prentice tumbling with a cynical foul at the hour mark, for which she got sent off and he was stretchered off in favour of Adam Hall. That was the jolt the men from Dignity Cross needed: it was a cross from Hall that enabled fellow substitute Jack Markham not only to benefit from the first serious opportunity of the game, but also to volley in its only goal - and he had an excellent try of his own in the dying minutes which Georgia Wood barely cleared off the line.
Newbanks CS (United youth team) 0–4 Sword and Shield
[Alexandra Marcus goal 14', Hugh Roanoke goals 33' and 69', Sylvia Hollenberg goal 57']
Sammy Jenkins is good, but he isn't that good. With the Earths effectively fielding him as the lone striker in a 4-2-3-1 setup similar to how Newbanks United actually play, no matter what Ian Graham says about it being a 4-4-2, he was easily found out by centrebacks Samuel Walcott and Christine Terrence (not necessarily in that order) - and the school was punished by only having a single effort on target which meant and would have meant nothing. As a result, Arsenal had the easiest ride of anyone in the last sixteen: Alexandra Marcus began with a good solo effort, while Hugh Roanoke struck either side of half time with two near-identical angled efforts that each crept in at the near post - and in between his brace, after a poorly-taken corner by Jessica Martin was seemingly nudged out of danger, an extremely speculative effort by Terrence came off a Newbanks defender and into empty space, where Sylvia Hollenberg was lurking, allowing her to further compound the Collegiates' lead. The Princess could have had another in stoppage time, but her attempt to lob Newbanks goalkeeper Robert Carpenter from some forty yards out came back off the bar and he courageously took Marcus' point-blank rebound to the face. Which was possibly the only thing anybody at the school found funny about the game.
Occidental Olympic 2–4 Army and Navy
[Steve Pilchard goals 21' and 67'; Aidan Harris goal 26', Noah Chorley goals 48' and 54', Denise Livingston goal 82']
Despite a recent slump in their fortunes, Olympic looked the more likely team to make the quarterfinals: at home, up against an even worse Army and Navy, and a manager who has lost so much he has just about nothing more to lose. Betting on their advancement would have been the smart choice for the opening phases of the match, as the Soldiers were pushed to breaking point by a series of attacking onslaughts which almost paid off on two separate occasions. It could have been three near-misses in the space of twenty minutes as Steve Pilchard fired - almost inadvertently - at Ken Wilkie, but had the good sense to get to the rebound first. Not to be deterred, Aidan Harris nailed a piledriver of a shot in the bottom corner a few minutes later; although Army had a few bright spots, they still did not look like serious contenders. Noah Chorley changed all that with two rapid-fire goals after the break, beginning with an excellent finessed shot before doubling the lead with a simple tap-in. Pilchard tried his best to make the situation better and closed the gap with a fortitious effort midway through the second half, but his side had otherwise largely ran out of steam and Golden Backpack-winning defender Denise Livingston rubberstamped their fate when she reacted perfectly to a setpiece. And this is why most Eleanorian bookmakers' shops don't get much traffic.

Quarterfinals

Sword and Shield 6–3 Good Hope Club
[Jessica Martin goals 18', 35' and 50', Maddie Gordon goal 31', Evan Kilkenny goal 56', Dan Brook goal 67'; Jack Smith goal 40', Falareta Wesevta goal 71', Robert Walter goal 86']
Sword and Shield's win against Newbanks CS was a flood. Their triumph over Good Hope Club was a deluge. Jessica Martin, who could have opened the Seasiders' gates much earlier, "only" gets going after seventeen minutes, prodding an effort in with her weaker foot; she gets her hattrick after fifty minutes, chipping Hannah Downing from close range before bamboozling her with a curled effort. Maddie Gordon, very much under the radar in the last sixteen, finds the scoresheet in the first half too - but Jack Smith vigorously protests the state of affairs just before half-time, scoring a powerful deflected effort to destroy the Collegiates' hopes of another clean sheet. No worries; it's not just Martin who joins the party after the break. Evan Kilkenny surges forward and whips in a cross that's so good it finds the net, while Dan Brook gets a simple effort on target. 6-1. Surely there's more coming - but it comes for the visitors. Wesevta and Walter push inside in similar fashion, trick the defence in similar fashion, evade Arielle Richardson's grasp in similar fashion - but you aren't going to score five of those. Or six. Sorry about that.
Newbanks United 0–1 Hiyashi Celestia
[Joe Galbraith goal 45+1']
The second rematch from last year's round of sixteen also gets a swift resolution - but not a particularly sure one. United are as tepid in this game as they were against Saint Benedict's Catholic, which is not the sort of approach any team should be seriously taking against the reigning cup holders and league champions. Unless you want penalties. And, despite what happened last time, United almost certainly want penalties. What they get instead is shot after shot after shot after shot, mostly good, mostly challenging, some atrocious, one of which flew into the stands. Shots at the beginning, shots at the end, a really big shot twenty seconds into first-half stoppage time, when Joe Galbraith headed in from close range to give Celestia the lead. You get a shot, and you get a shot, and you get a shot, and you get a shot - if you play for Celestia. The Students try their very best not to equalise, for no good reason whatsoever, although Wayne Crawshaw tries to go off-script: muscling Andrew Mann off the ball late in the game and just facing Shojiro Ito, he decides he'll go to his left. Unfortunately, so does Ito. Hamnet Borisov does no better, agonisingly clattering his 89th-minute effort against the side netting, and they are once again dumped out of the Showcase by the Angels.
Independence 1975 0–0 Army and Navy (0–0 AET) (0–2 pen.)
[Donald Hutchings red card 101']
[penalty shootout, Indy taking first: Alice Christopher SAVED, Janice Bartley SAVED, Jon Harp SAVED, Noah Chorley GOAL, Henry Green WIDE, Darren Batchelor GOAL, Sophie Wilton SAVED]
Having eliminated fierce rivals Athletic Saint Eleanor, the Liberators have to face fierce rivals Army and Navy to make the semifinals. Although they are widely expected to make a good fight of it, things don't exactly go to plan as Roger Elliott continues to rediscover the structured, defensive spark he found the club possessing in the first place, Green and Wilton ground down by Wilkie and Livingston and a sprinkle of Smith too for good measure. Nobody does much in the way of attacking, except for Donald Hutchings, who attacks Eric Stone's face with his elbow in the first half of extra time and pays the price. Only two of seven penalties in the shootout are converted; the surprising hero is Brian Tarrant, a man whose days were widely thought numbered (or near enough) months ago, saving three and watching one going past the post he wasn't thinking of.
Golden Unicorn 2–0 Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team)
[Melcheta Pazorzal goals 53' and 66']
The Boys' Prep not only knocked out Nova Aegis, but they did it in ninety minutes (and so very nearly in style) - which should have augured at least somewhat awkwardly for the Unicorn. It did not, and Melcheta Pazorzal is proof positive: the Eleanorian international is at the youngsters from the very start, hitting the bar after forty seconds and, in something of an achievement for him, teeing off Gionata Mariani with a couple of good passes - matched with some equally good shots with Simon McDonald just gets to. Natalie Monaco joins the party, too, although a few of her efforts aren't that convincing - and don't forget Adam Hall, who had a ravishing attempt that just went over. 0-0 at the break should have further spelled trouble for the hosts, but Pazorzal delights the home fans after he gets on the end of a high Monaco pass, then lobs McDonald almost with ease. She wins a free kick fifteen minutes later and he's all too happy to head it past the keeper. Only now do the Boys' Prep get going with their attack, although Luke Guinness's efforts are a shadow of Pazzo's. I mean, a sloppy effort that went well wide and a header that Georgia Wood got to easily? Seriously?

Semifinals

Army and Navy 2–3 Sword and Shield
[Noah Chorley goal 8', Alan Hebblethwaite goal 61'; Alexandra Marcus goals 2' and 37', Samuel Walcott goal 80']
Having already picked off Olympic and Indy, the Soldiers are looking to wipe out the other forgotten powerhouse of the Eleanorian game - although the pride is probably enough for General Roger Elliott. He shouldn't be expecting much, anyway: his counterpart at the University Grounds' changing room has gotten in more fresh faces than anyone outside the club can be bothered to count, reformed the club atmosphere and secured international football already. One of them makes a fairly rapid impression: with seventy-five seconds played, Jessica Martin worms past national team counterpart Alan Eldridge and whips in a pitch-perfect cross which Alexandra Marcus can't help but nod in. She should have had another in quick succession, but was flagged offside - and after the long-range indirect free kick that results sparks a light tussle for possession, Eric Stone prods the ball over to Noah Chorley, who surges towards goal and levels.

Things slowly calmed down, but - despite having made a couple of mistakes that the Collegiates simply didn't capitalise on - Ken Wilkie just loses possession without even thinking about it, enabling Marcus again to whip what almost a first-time shot into the top-right corner just before half time. Army nonetheless regroups, comes back stronger and has the upper hand for a good portion of the second half; deciding to choke off possession, look after the ball and tease the opposing defenders, they're odds on for an equaliser which Alan Hebblethwaite delivers almost as soon as he jumps off the bench, pumping a surprise drive across the six-yard box and watching it barely creep into the net. The reversal of tactical fortune completes itself with ten minutes to go, with Emma Steele ordering her team to push forward rapidly and effectively; despite Hugh Roanoke's late corner leading to a goalmouth scramble, Sam Walcott is first to get the ball out of that mess - no doubt due to some questionable physicality that conveniently went overlooked, which is just not how Sword and Shield plays the game, thank you very much - and go chocks away. Aidan Harris has the best shot at a dramatic leveller, but his header is nudged over the bar by Arielle Richardson - another one of those bright young things - and the corner comes to nothing but elimination.
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Hiyashi Celestia (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
[Natalie Monaco goal 72'; Takeshi Honda goal 63']
[penalty shootout, Unicorn taking first: Melcheta Pazorzal GOAL, Takeshi Honda GOAL, Adam Hall SAVED, Joe Galbraith GOAL. Wanar-Xalan Tla MISS, Rick Goldsmith GOAL, Natalie Monaco GOAL, Lydia Nicholls SAVED, Derrick Gates OVER]
In a repeat of last year's semifinal, the Broadlands outfit has the upper hand - but not by much. Ian Jones, whose improving Unicorns came so close to the IFCF this year, makes two changes from the last-sixteen nailbiter (never mind the quarters): he trusts young Qusmi Wanar-Xalan Tla to start over Caitlynn Jones, but has no choice other than to field Adam Hall in place of an injured Owen Prentice. Hall is fairly anonymous; he creates a few okay chances, but neither of the strikers can make much of them and Shojiro Ito makes a couple of fancy saves. Wanar-Xalan, on the reverse, clearly knows their way around the tie: they regularly get the better of opposition captain Nobusuke Kuronuma, who seems a bit sluggish but still makes tiny dents in the Unicorn's defence from time to time. In the second half, the game comes alive: they almost climb atop Kuronuma to head the ball into space, where Gionata Mariani arrives nearly with ease, freed to dribble around Mike Derry and open the scoring. Or not. Unfortunately for him, the header was judged to be part of a foul.

All that prodding pays off just after the hour mark, when an overlapping Nicole Morlock surprises Hall and easily outpaces Ali Holborn, giving Takeshi Honda ample space to volley past Georgia Wood almost unmarked. It doesn't take the hosts' back four long after that to work out that they can just absorb the pressure, move the ball rapidly from the back and allow patient buildup play to happen in the final third. A couple of tries are needed, but the team's third attempt results in a now more withdrawn Mariani playing the ball back and forth between Natalie Monaco and Matt Shilling; with one last, almost forced push, he lets Monaco dip the ball over Ito. By this point, Hall is still doing nothing; Wanar-Xalan, pressed for a winner, is now forwards enough to have to deal with Lydia Nicholls, who is more than capable of cutting out their attacks before they begin. After thirty tepid minutes at the end in which nothing except a marginal Honda free kick happens, both of them miss in the shootout. But the real clincher is Derrick Gates, a substitute brought on so late that nobody will ever know whether he was supposed to be taking a penalty or not. He does, and whacks it way over.

THE FINAL
Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Sword and Shield (2–1 AET)
[Takeshi Honda goal 33', Eva Wellesley goal 109'; Jessica Martin missed penalty 61', Sylvia Hollenberg goal 85']

Although three of the four semifinalists this year also made this stage in 1999, only the defending champions make a return to the final, and they face up against the team some argue they should have played last time around anyway. A nice, attacking spectacle in store... right? Wrong. It's wet and soggy and not suited to short passing plays. Incredibly, Celestia cope with the conditions better, finding creative ways to get the ball high in the air - but not so high that Takeshi Honda can't reach. Joe Galbraith crosses with half an hour played, and Honda volleys in. Hugh Roanoke tries to copy the technique a while later, but Alexandra Marcus just misses the ball and the red go into half time 1-0 down.

Jessica Martin is Sword and Shield's star early in the second half and she shines bright, testing Shojiro Ito with a good effort from open play before being tripped by Nicole Morlock in the penalty box with an hour gone. The Cassadagan is not made to pay for her mistakes, as the Collegiates' skipper sends her penalty wide of the left post. Now they give it everything they've got; Celestia's only serious effort here is by Honda, although that goes over the bar. Marcus finally gets her revenge on the first half when she forces Ito into pushing her power shot past the goal line - a late corner. But no need to send up the keeper when you have Super Sylvia Hollenberg, all of 175 centimetres, who lifts her figure so high up that you can't believe it. She couldn't. Martin couldn't. Ito couldn't. And Rachel Schanke most certainly couldn't.

Both sides give everything they've got in extra time, often with little avail; it's still pouring it down. Wellesley is substituted on in the second half-time break, ostensibly for penalties. Instead, she shoots with her second touch of the game - and scores. Boom. You are not coming back from that. In fact, it's Rick Goldsmith - not an Arsenal player - who's most likely to score the game's fourth goal, but his effort clangs off the post and he's offside anyway. 118 minutes played. Two boring minutes of stoppage time and a title defense is complete. So is the Showcase. Hallelujah.

HIYASHI CELESTIA - WINNERS OF THE 2000 SHOWCASE - ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 60
1. Shojiro Ito [Kandorith; he/him]
2. Nicole Morlock [Cassadaigua; she/her]
3. Andrew Mann [he/him]
4. Mike Derry [he/him]
5. Lamotera Chelira [he/him]
6. Nobusuke Kuronuma (C) [Kandorith; he/him]
7. Joe Galbraith [he/him]
8. Lydia Nicholls [she/her]
9. Rick Goldsmith [he/him]
10. Takeshi Honda [Kandorith; he/him]
11. Bart Forrest [he/him]
12. Kelly Bayliss [she/her]
13. Sarah Parton [she/her]
14. Robert Williams [he/him]
15. Simon Baker [he/him]
16. Richard King [he/him]
17. Eva Wellesley [she/her]
18. Keith Surtees [he/him]
Manager: Rachel Schanke [Cassadaigua; she/her]

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 9:12 am

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2001

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the IFCF Rising Stars Cup since 1998, in time for the tenth IFCF cycle. (In theory, a CTS team can win the Showcase and enter the Cup Winners' Cup, too - although that would be extraordinarily unlikely.) It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 48 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools. Liberty and the other four best teams from the previous year (the University College, Saint Benedict's Catholic, the Army School and Parkside Community School) enter in the third round/round of sixteen; the rest begin from the first round. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2001 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1984. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's RSC and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either the CWC or the RSC in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's iteration - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department (that's Terranean if you refuse to believe in IRL); she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, which is owned by the government of Squidroidia. The trials have varying levels of success, but at least one or two players are somehow offered contracts through these means every year.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
Goldsmiths CS 1–3 Richardgate CS
Marketplace CS 1–1 Sunset Gates CS (3–1 AET)
Allington CS 0–3 Brightway CS
Deepchester CS 2–0 Airport CS
Trident CS 1–0 Oaktree CS
Williamstown CS 0–1 Tannerton CS
Springfield CS 0–2 Jacobville CS
Wellington CS 3–1 Eastern Fell CS
North Seville CS 1–0 New Bayside CS
Crownedhead CS 0–2 Carpentersville CS
Whitehammer CS 3–1 Farbend CS
Bishopgate CS 1–1 Elsmouth CS (2–1 AET)
Girls' Preparatory 3–2 Magna CS
Parkside CS 1–1 Bonpool CS (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Queenston CS 0–1 Eleanorian Academy
New St Paul CS 1–0 Millerham CS
Blackwood CS 0–0 St Paul CS (1–0 AET)
St George CS 2–5 Holland CS
Bramblewood CS 0–2 University College
Mount Dennis CS 2–5 New Lizard CS
Grand Beach CS 0–0 Broadlands CS (1–0 AET)
Silverton CS 0–1 Army School

Round 2
Bishopgate CS 0–1 Blackwood CS
Marketplace CS 0–0 Tannerton CS (0–0 AET) (1–4 pen.)
Grand Beach CS 0–2 Parkside CS
Deepchester CS 4–4 New Lizard CS (5–4 AET)
Holland CS 0–1 Army School
Girls' Preparatory 2–3 New St Paul CS
Jacobville CS 3–2 Wellington CS
North Seville CS 1–3 Whitehammer CS
Richardgate CS 0–3 University College
Eleanorian Academy 4–1 Trident CS
Brightway CS 5–0 Carpentersville CS

Round 3
Eleanorian Academy 1–0 Blackwood CS
Newbanks CS 0–2 Jacobville CS
Liberty 1–0 New St Paul CS
Tannerton CS 1–5 Parkside CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 4–2 Boys' Preparatory
Army School 2–2 Buckhead CS (3–2 AET)
Deepchester CS 2–3 University College
Brightway CS 2–3 Whitehammer CS

Round 4
University College 1–1 Army School (3–1 AET)
[Sam Baker 54', Liam Southwark 102', 115'; Harriet Christie 84']
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–0 Liberty
[Peter Mitchell 6']
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Parkside CS
[Laura Downs 43']
Jacobville CS 0–4 Eleanorian Academy
[Kavezalea Felaraneta 32', 72', Frank Howard 47', Catherine Brent 90+4']

Semifinals
Eleanorian Academy 2–1 University College
[Lucy Walker 32', Libby Freeman 65'; Sam Baker 26']
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Saint Benedict's Catholic
[Paul Grove 75']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2001 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

Owing to the entry of four new schools, University College and Saint Benedict's Catholic will be entered into the second round of the 2002 Charles Trump Shield. Liberty, Whitehammer Community School and the Eleanorian Academy will be entered into the third round of the 2002 Shield.

THE FINAL
Whitehammer CS 1–5 Eleanorian Academy ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (67,327 in attendance)
[Gavin Farbend 66'; Libby Freeman 14', Michael Mills 35', 54', David Harrison 71', Simon Pell 79']

Saint Eleanor will enter the Eleanorian Academy, the winners of the 2001 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 13. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Robby Ellis [GK; he/him]; 2. Adrian Graham [LB; he/him]; 3. Simon Pell [RB; he/him]; 4. Gareth Marks [CB; he/him]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; she/her]; 6. Rachel Jenkins [CDM; she/her]; 7. Frank Howard [LM; he/him]; 8. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; he/him]; 9. Lucy Walker [ST; she/her]; 10. Michael Mills [ST; he/him]; 11. Libby Freeman [RM; she/her]; 12. Joseph Packer [GK; he/him]; 13. Nalezaxera vaRamolanara [CB; he/him]; 14. Catherine Brent [RB; she/her]; 15. Ryan Grant [LM; he/him]; 16. Emilia Lewis [some variant of CM; she/her]; 17. Sophie Taggart [RM; she/her]; 18. David Harrison [ST; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Bill Patrick [he/him].

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It is also the only field in the CTS - other than the Good Hope Stadium, shared by Trident CS and the Good Hope Club - to have four stands, which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2001. This means that - should the club reach the group stages of Champions League 13 - Whitehammer CS will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 13. (Their crest is also depicted to the right.) The manager, Sarah Newbury [she/her], is happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about her teamsheet should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

For recording the largest win at the 2001 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of Brightway CS into Vilitan Cove Invitational 18. The application of University College to VCI 17 remains in force. This comes after team manager Damian Hughes [he/him] valiantly sought clarification from the Vilitan Cove Invitational Committee about the team's situation. He has also gained reassurances from the Eleanorian government that the tournament will somehow take place in time for 2002.

Hughes has said that anybody who asks really politely will be entitled to read the full, deanonymised set of player feedback on the decision - although right midfielder #9 Cameron Bourne [captain; he/him] praised the decision as "right and fair" and said it would "allow two of Saint Eleanor's strongest school programs to test their true mettle on the international stage."

Brightway CS will play their home matches in the VCI at Brightway Grounds in Brightway district, current seated capacity 1,500. Ostensibly big enough to allow all of the Community School's students, some staff and a few tourists to attend games - which has coincidentally never happened - the Grounds are as close as anyone from the district wants to get to hostile without looking a bit silly, primarily by virtue of boasting a professional-looking set of corner flags, a few unnecessarily close advertisement hoardings (yes, they have those), and a clock in the corner of the stadium that does not stop for injury time for whatever reason.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Rachel Jenkins. The last Charles Trump Shield with 49 teams also had its top-heaviest and arguably closest final eight since the mid-1980s; you have Jenkins to thank for putting a stop to that in the final. She was the obvious beneficiary of legendary PE teacher and manager Bill Patrick's decision to switch to a wide midfield diamond pre-Shield, regularly starting off attacks with excellently-placed passes while proving capable of dropping into the back four to defend against the rare threats that arose over the tournament. Unfortunately for fans of versatile Eleanorian defensive-midfielder-slash-centrebacks, I'm afraid you'll have to put up with Bridget Coombe and Alex Martins for the time being: Jenkins will slide into footballing obscurity, reading archaeology at the University and spending about a decade and a half on deployment to the Eleanorian embassy in Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom before re-emerging as a mildly successful manager. (Mild success not guaranteed. You're looking at first fruits about three-and-a-half years from now, if you live in Calorborne.)

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 9:42 pm

The Saint Eleanor League of 2001

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2000 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 12th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2001, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
All players with underlined names play for their national team as of the start of 2001.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 29yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 16. Richard King [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 25yo; she/her]; 18. Keith Surtees [ST; 31yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [38yo; she/her]: Hardly any preseason passes by without rumours of Schanke throwing more money at the transfer window than is necessary or reasonable, but she nonetheless won the double with an overwhelmingly domestic, even unheralded, squad. The arms race with Athletic drags on: they have two complete, top-quality strikers in their starting lineup and even have a Rekan centreback - Šasawić, the only new signing, who promises to rejuvenate and improve an aging defence that barely meets international standards. Conversely, expect conservative and solid wide play too, with the fullbacks reluctant to go forward and the wingers known haters of trickery - and don't forget Nicholls either, who is serious off the pitch, awfully tough on it, and allegedly good enough for the White Stars.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. John Bailey [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 5. Luke Elliott [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 6. Liam West [CAPTAIN] [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Alice Christopher [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 9. Sophie Wilton [ST; 31yo; she/her]; 10. Henry Green [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 11. Bobby Smith [RM; 33yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dan Davis [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 29yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 17. Richard Dale [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 30yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Derek Pittam [65yo; he/him]: Pittam is a lucky manager and his side was seriously lucky to edge out Athletic to second, only getting there after winning their last seven games in a row. On one side of the experience gap, there is absolutely nothing to suggest that West and his feted backline have started to decay, never mind significantly. On the other, the same attackers have served for seemingly aeons with little to show for it, other than Newcastle's distinct brand of innovation - and the bench has proven more of a burial ground than a proving ground for players doomed to never break into the starting lineup. There is a real possibility that club legend and assistant manager Lydia Sharp could openly eye up the big job if they play as poor as their performances deserved last year.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 6. Esther Launceston [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [CAPTAIN] [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 32yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Lauren Pell [RM; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Kent [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 15. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Fred Newton [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [39yo; they/them]: After a mixed first cycle in which Athletic made the Champions' League groups but barely challenged for the title, Yelto-Aflan is expected to redouble their efforts this year. The staff today accept that some kind of 4-4-2 is ideal for the team; there is room for Yelto-Aflan's signature flexibility, but not too much. Curry and taFrexala are keen overlappers as well as coherent fullbacks, Jackett is willing to come on and provide defensive solidity in midfield, and Launceston is at this point the side's de-facto first line of cover if he doesn't - but the wide and attacking players are far too embedded in their general style of play to budge.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Sylvia Hollenberg [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 31yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [CAPTAIN] [RM; 30yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 23yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Sam Bradman [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Lucas Barrow [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Jon Levitt [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 18. Dan Brook [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [41yo; she/her]: In Steele's first season, the club were serious contenders for the first time in a decade - and coherent, perhaps, for the first time in five years. The squad is unchanged coming into her second, meaning that the key players will loom large as ever: Martin will continue to lead the attacking line, setting up Roanoke and Marcus while creating her own - although they are all expected to make diverse contributions. Gordon is gelling into her new, more stable role as a forwards distributor, while the midfielders behind her focus on ball-winning and building up attacks. Although the defensive five often work as a unit, Pratt and Kilkenny will go forward whether to thwart opposition pushes or move the play forwards, with Terrence, Walcott (and, if necessary, Bradman) staying back.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [CAPTAIN] [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. Caitlynn Jones [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 5. Aaron Francis [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Matt Shilling [LM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [CAM; 25yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 20yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Susie Furlong [CB; 31yo; she/her]; 15. Diana Ellison [RB; 32yo; she/her]; 16. Samuel Lewis [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Tim Hart [ST; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [58yo; he/him]: You don't have to be an expert to note that the Unicorn is at a pivotal moment. Space has opened for Wanar-Xalan to start in the midfield triangle more regularly, with Mariani pushed out wide to reflect changes to his national team setup. Meanwhile, Amanda Thorpe has finally retired to work at Torch full-time, allowing an unproven Laker to test his worth. Meanwhile, Aaron Francis continues to mature and has been rewarded with a callup to the White Stars; as has Monaco, by this point an established playmaker who will now be asked to play in a more definitively forwards position. And the obvious bright young thing is Tim Hart, Juventud's best player of late - but if he wants to get any further, he'll either have to fight club hero Pazorzal or run to the transfer window.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Barker [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 20yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 33yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [CAM; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. John McDonald [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 13. Sêvêr Fâerçâlenh [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM, but closer to CDM; 31yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 19yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 29yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [42yo; he/him]: Dunbar heralds in Olympic's biggest wave of change for half a decade, partially by accident. Bridget Coombe and Adam Denby, both Olympic cult heroes and notable national teamers, are out over post-Manuta uncertainty; in their places come two members of Parkside CS's recent Shield-winning side, captain and midfield all-rounder French should take the pitch alongside vehement goal machine and Golden Backpack winner Key. Despite that and the retention of key attackers Pilchard and weMexala (on their own insistence), this is largely an understated squad that should prove malleable enough to fit Dunbar's agenda, which will be characterised by seeing wide midfielders Short and Cooper avoiding overly-ambitious runs and new centreback Hyatt keeping shape more often than Manuta would have asked.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-5-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 30yo; she/her]; 7. Falareta Wesevta [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 29yo; she/her]; 10. Peter Simpson [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 19yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Aaron Burrow [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 17. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 29yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [40yo; she/her]: What's this - a refreshed Good Hope lineup for the first time in what feels like an eternity? It certainly looks like it, although Kirkport keeps the flat midfield five that has characterised the club for almost its entire existence. Falconer, the captain of that Vilitan Cove Invitational side, is ready to hound opposing right midfielders and maybe just pick up a few yellows in the process; Holliday will make runs into opposition territory with Simpson, and Cleveland - with her bushy ginger hair and six-foot-one stature - should strengthen the team's position up front. Wesevta remains, to the dismay of some, but will act more as a transitional figure than anything. Fans will be unanimously merciful to see the iconic Bryant back - and the centreback pairing of forwards-thinking captain Brown and hard-nosed Pemecutanian Sofyan lives, too.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 23yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 32yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [CAPTAIN] [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 25yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 22yo; she/her]; 10. Patrick Budd [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 11. Tim Brandon [RM; 25yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CB; 32yo; she/her]; 15. Will Edgebrook [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 29yo; she/her]; 17. Sara Halbrook [ST; 23yo; she/her]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [44yo; she/her]: Some supporters fear that Atherton has blown her opportunity to make the most of the Seasiders' "golden generation" in attack, is too dependent on aging defensive players, and might not have long left on the clock anyway. Others insist that Brandon, Harris and McNamara are all capable attackers that are just being held back by unnecessary conservatism, that Fulton - in particular - is giving the team the regular jolts they need in transition, and that the likes of Holding and Milton can and should come off the bench to make the difference where necessary. All are quite happy with her remaining in charge for now; if her team hits giddier heights this year, they may be justified in thinking "why not for longer?"

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 4. Jennifer Smith [CM; Sergeant; 30yo; she/her]; 5. Tom Wilkinson [CB; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [CB; Lance-Corporal; 20yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Eric Stone [CM; Sergeant; 26yo; he/him]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 24yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 29yo; he/him]; 11. Darren Batchelor [RM; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Jordan Ellis [GK; Corporal; 31yo; he/him]; 13. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 25yo; she/her]; 15. Lucy Barton [CM; Corporal; 26yo; she/her]; 16. Aidan Harris [ST; Corporal; 35yo; he/him]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Sarah Wallace [LM; Private; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Roger Elliott [54yo; General; he/him]: Elliott is tactically sound, strategically consistent and well-respected - but not for much longer. After a mediocre 2000, he has taken little, if any, action to delve into the Army League and recruit new footballers from the ranks, instead just handing out a few rank promotions and ushering out a couple of players who were always going to leave. Eldridge earns a deserved captaincy after seven years and is joined at the back by Wilkinson, a quiet but capable player who could outstay his statutory 15-year minimum if he really wants it. But while Gould and Bartley promise to inject verve to the Soldiers' attack, they will likely fail to deliver given the circumstances. And what about Batchelor, a fallen White Star who is now streaky enough a winger that he should not be anywhere near the team? This, among other questions, can and will be asked.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 2. Matt Johnson [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 3. Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Bill Garton [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 22yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 34yo; he/him]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 23yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 26yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Paul Barring [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Polly Ground [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Steve Parker [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 24yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [53yo; he/him]: Unlike the other new team, United was never fated to be great. As far as Graham is concerned, "better than tenth" would do. His continued slacking on recruitment, beyond meeting a basic promise to recruit one Community School student each year, is an obvious obstacle - more so that Noah Halford, this year's lucky youngster, will be benched for much of the season. Crawshaw, slowly but surely declining, is once more unlikely to surpass the excellent Ishida. Newbanks fans can confidently note that Carla Hawkins is the fourth-best goalkeeper in the nation, the all-Squidroidian centreback partnership is as strong as ever and Tash Banbury is set to quietly exceed the scant expectations set of her, for instance. But at what cost?

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Chloe Butler [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 2. Dan Woodcock [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 3. Rachel Curran [CAPTAIN] [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 4. Ellie Burton [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 6. Rick Street [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. Henry Bennett [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Richards [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Beth Stevens [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Gary Wellington [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Baraveral Helipovala [RM; 20yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Jack Davison [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Paxevalona voSalnafera [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Will Ryan [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Faralena xaRevanerala [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Gregory McInnes [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Sarah Gardner [LM; 20yo; she/her]; 18. Kate White [ST; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [60yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth; 2001 promises much of the same. Curran, former cheerleader at and Head Girl of Marketplace Community School, is the first fresher since 1983 to be handed the armband in a squad achingly light on finalists. Instant legend Helipovala is now the key attacker, as Hart joins fellow alumnus Aaron Francis at the Unicorn; Shepley and Street should continue to behave appropriately in the centre of defence. Otherwise, nobody here really stands out. Many are doomed to work in irrelevant occupations.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stephen Wright [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 30yo; she/her]; 4. Coluseris Dalousol [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Derry [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 29yo; she/her]; 8. Anne Hoar [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 32yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 24yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Collins [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Pete Dervish [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 15. Greg Mallett [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Simon McCabe [42yo; he/him]: McCabe is the closest thing Nova Aegis has to a success story - or a World Cup goalscorer. Coming into the job late last year with no prior experience, he barely got the team to one win in eight games in charge. However, he and everyone else around the club fully expects better times this year: SEL-winning journeyman Derry arrives from Celestia; Lenham, a proven quantity up front, is now worthy of regular starts; a capable Macintyre replaces the derided Mallett - and Collins is finally on the bench, making way for promising, balanced fullback Smith. But is the South Newlandian's tinkering really all the Coliseum has to shout about?

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 7
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

League review (by James Warwick of The Reporter)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2001     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   14   2   6    41   27  +14    44
 2 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   12   6   4    41   25  +16    42
 3 Sword and Shield                   22   12   5   5    54   33  +21    41
 4 Independence 1975                  22   10   7   5    29   15  +14    37
 5 Grand Beach                        22   10   6   6    29   28   +1    36
 6 Occidental Olympic                 22    9   5   8    42   39   +3    32
 7 Golden Unicorn                     22    8   5   9    26   29   −3    29
 8 Good Hope Club                     22    7   4  11    25   29   −4    25
 9 Newbanks United                    22    6   6  10    20   22   −2    24
10 Army and Navy                      22    6   6  10    19   28   −9    24
11 Nova Aegis                         22    5   5  12    20   42  −22    20
12 Juventud                           22    2   5  15    26   55  −29    11

Athletic Saint Eleanor struggled early on, only managing seven points from their first five: they eked past Juventud, lost to the Golden Unicorn and Newbanks United. It was a last-ditch Wasemprela Sareleva winner against Hiyashi Celestia that got them running, however; midseason defeats to Grand Beach and the Good Hope Club were unwanted, but preceded by a good run that included a draw against Sword and Shield and a three-goal win over Nova Aegis - and followed up by five, albeit one-goal, wins on the trot. Nobody could deny Athletic a strong finish despite Celestia avenging them in the return leg: they destroyed Arsenal 5-1 while sweeping aside easier opposition on the way to an eighth title that was far easier than it looked. Apparently an out-and-out striker, Tim Driver often played in a more detached role: this paid off handsomely, as he netted eight times and set Nightingale up for five of her sixteen goals (not including the penalty he won, and she scored, at the New Barracks). Graham Lawson is part of the attacking landscape, too, despite his tendency to cut inside; Sareleva is a more conventional winger, but proved fine when he did start. Harriet Williams, facing the twilight of her career, often made way for Michael Jackett, who always commended himself. Wlad Wlad showed the Rekan FA's selectors what they were missing out on with a series of consistent performances, especially during that late-season run. And any doubters that Esther Launceston has at this point are most likely Independence partisans - her pragmatic, measured approach to defence arguably won the title, but not as much as her 88th-minute goal-line clearance on the final day of the season. Without it, Good Hope would have drawn level... and handed the title to Celestia.

Hiyashi Celestia had an even worse start: their first three games were all draws, their fourth was a defeat, and all four seemed winnable. The Angels won back-to-back after the defeat against Athletic (playing Juventud and the Unicorn, both teams in transition) before being downed by Independence 1975, but started playing to form after that, with the only obvious blemishes on their midseason record another draw against Nova Aegis and a defeat against Good Hope. They won five of their six autumn games, the odd result out a scoreless draw against Indy. That sufficed for a return to the Champions' League - but not for the title. Takeshi Honda, still the main attraction, found the net seventeen times and needs no further introduction; Nobusuke Kuronuma assumed a more attacking-midfield position with the responsibilities that entails, while Lydia Nicholls continued to break up the play when necessary - that is, often - and fight for every last inch at every possible opportunity. Isi Šasawić was the biggest factor in ensuring Celestia conceded eleven less than last year; his defensive vision, acumen, and general common sense was in keeping with the club's stated ethos and kept them running to the last, although Shojiro Ito also deserves merit for sharpening up over the season. Joe Galbraith was once again much better out wide than Bart Forrest; Rick Goldsmith scored eleven again, but was a bit quieter than 2000.

Sword and Shield could - perhaps even should - have won the title, but were let down too often. Their opening record of two draws (against Celestia and Olympic) followed by four solid, multi-goal wins sent them top; they lost it to Indy for a round after winning a point off Athletic, but jostled with the Liberators for top spot for most of the rest of the season, and were three points ahead of them halfway through. Just because they seemed to win all the time didn't mean they actually did: the return set of fixtures began with two points from nine, even though they could have beaten Celestia in what proved to be a 3-3 thriller, and deserved to win their tie against Army and Navy but struggled after going down to ten. Grand Beach, the Unicorn, and Athletic (in humiliating fashion) all beat them prior to the final day. They sat on the top of the tree going into it, but were knocked into the Challengers' Cup after a sorry loss to Newbanks United. The attack was multipolar as expected, but Jessica Martin still scraped the Golden Boot, matching Honda on 17 goals but leading on assists. Alexandra Marcus, a target woman in a squad that doesn't need one, prodded in eleven times; Hugh Roanoke only got seven but was the league's top assister; Maddie Gordon's attempts to extricate herself from the front three failed. Princess Sylvia is turning into a defensive midfielder, and a very good one; she has put opposition attackers to the sword at every last opportunity, seems to know who to give the ball to almost as soon as she gets it, and, unlike a certain somebody, defies comparison. Evan Kilkenny is still good but was skinned by Lawson in the 5-1 defeat; Gordon Pratt is slightly less good, but never made an idiot of himself. Arielle Richardson is as good as you'd expect for an Arsenal keeper, which is "going to be sold in 2004."

Independence 1975 were somehow astonishingly good. They held a 100% record into round 4, and even then did very well to deny Athletic a home win in the Grand Derby. Other than the 3-1 defeat against Arsenal and the 0-0 draw with United, none of their performances in the first two-thirds of the season were sloppy. No wonder: they were two points up over the Collegiates, five against the reds from Whitehammer - who promptly beat them 2-1 at home. Their only win after that came against Olympic: Juventud beat them, United and Army held them 0-0, and they were fortunate not to lose to Celestia and their ilk. Liam West is showing signs of faltering - he was to blame for George Guest's consolation during their visit to Aegis - but overall remains solid. Indy conceded fourteen other goals; none of them were John Bailey's fault. Luke Elliott is not a good leftback, but he's okay; Cathy Winchester sometimes cuts inside to provide backup in midfield. Layla Grover again got only a single red, a second booking at Olympic for getting into a shouting match with Heather Blake, but was good distributively and in defence. David Newcastle underscored why he deserves national team starts and Henry Green showed why he shouldn't be written off yet - both scored seven - but the rest of the attack underwhelmed. Derek PIttam must take a good hard look at it, or everybody else will look at him instead.

Grand Beach spent most of the season going through the motions of averageness. Early wins against the two northern teams were not expected, but nor were the five losses in a row after the Celestia upset (only one of which appeared unsalvageable on paper). Of course it had to be a 1-0 win in the derby against Good Hope - which saw two red cards, a missed penalty and multiple rejected Dolphin free-kick shouts - that brought them back up. They would lose only one of the thirteen games that followed, a hammering by Celestia: drawing to Juventud (twice) was a small price to pay for doing the double over Athletic, putting the first nail in the coffin of Sword and Shield's title hopes, and yes, breaking down United for once. Patrick Budd was essentially anonymous; Rachel McNamara, involved in the majority of the club's goals, was superior. Tim Brandon was uber-fast as ever, sometimes so much so that his crosses missed everyone; vice versa for counterpart Liz Harris, who helped ensure the centre was almost completely cut out of attacks. Christina Fulton pitched in with the attack on a few occasions, but still proved good in defence and is surely the national team's next leftback in line. Sam Newbridge, true to type, got one of the two reds against the Seasiders.

Occidental Olympic, after joining seemingly everybody else in having a slow start, got up to speed by defeating the Unicorn and Aegis - and Grand Beach, a couple of weeks later, after losing to Indy. This put them fifth, although back-to-back-to-back losses against much better opposition knocked them down. They immediately beat Arsenal, the Unicorn and Army on their way back to the top five, yet then stuttered, drawing two and winning two in their six games after the summer holiday. The failures to defeat Aegis and Grand Beach - who beat them to the IFCF - are surely eating away at them. Kieran Hyatt was a capable, if neophyte, defender in possibly the club's best ever defence, tackling accurately and intercepting surely all the way; Lynul-Sevet Pul, the Qusmi fullback, must also be praised for staying back and generally clearing up the right flank's messes. Glenn French, although a generalist and not quite on the legendary Bridget Coombe's level, is already proving good enough; David Key was at home as the more dynamic member of the strike partnership, finding the net twelve times with the ever-reliable Dekamela weMexala. Steve Pilchard now trusts the wide midfielders to latch onto his passes, too - perhaps a less obvious sign of the Dunbar revolution.

Golden Unicorn were unpredictably middling: despite getting eleven points from the opening seven, none of the results save the home win over Athletic felt unexpected. By the time Celestia, Arsenal and the Soldiers came to collect, they had dropped to tenth, a position that was certainly not the sum of its parts. Despite multiple false dawns, they were eleventh after round twelve and returned to tenth by the summer. Only a typically good autumn - beating Indy, United, and Arsenal, barely losing to Celestia, and finding themselves unlucky only to tie Army and Aegis - lifted them to seventh. This finish does not reflect the quality, the unity, or the performances of the squad. Some suggested Gionata Mariani would be sold this winter, but he - once again alongside Natalie Monaco - not only provided the backup Melcheta Pazorzal needed, but joined him in the hunt for goal when he could. They scored 19 of the team's 26 goals; Pazorzal himself got 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla thrived in a collaborative midfield pair; Aaron Francis and Logan Hughes continued to get together (and shut up this time around); Georgia Wood was consistent as ever. Gavin Laker was a bit quiet, but you'd expect him to be.

Good Hope Club proved, in the most fortituous way possible, that last year was not a one-off. Their first remarkable game was a 6-3 home loss to Sword and Shield and they spent much of the first half in the doldrums, capped by a sorry defeat at Grand Beach that could have been much worse. Defeating Olympic and then Athletic 2-0 each time was a decent confidence boost; picking off Celestia right before the break, a result which sandwiched a string of losses and arguably killed the title defence, more so. They only got two 1-0 wins against poor opposition after that, but that didn't matter. Yusuf Sofyan, by this point one of the most feared defenders in the league, was still rock-solid and went the extra mile to keep games alive; Laura Brown, more modern and a bit less obvious, definitely appreciated it. Of the new players, Tina Falconer kept wingers at bay far more often than she helped her team's own; Carrie Holliday was a decent attacking influence in midfield and proved capable of finishing too; Amanda Cleveland got eleven of the team's goals and is definitely one to watch. This is not a perfect team, but some Seasiders honestly think it's getting there.

Newbanks United were superficially lackluster but unbelievably persistent. They didn't win any of their first four, a spell punctuated by a loss at Aegis, but took off with a surprising, laboured home win against Athletic - then impressed against the much tougher opposition they then faced, tying Indy and Olympic while keeping Celestia to a goal. Their second-half performance was better - they picked off Army, the Pink Falcons and Good Hope - but nineteen points from fifteen was about as good as it got, becoming more competitive but not even beating Juventud at home. The only thing standing between them and tenth again was an incredible final-day win over Arsenal. Nobuyuki Ishida pulled well clear in the goalscoring stakes, although the fact he scored nine to Wayne Crawshaw's five may be a result of the Eleanorian dropping back more regularly, as Driver did. Emma Francis and Rachel Woodhouse dropped deeper than normal as a result and helped keep the team to conceding 22, the lowest beyond Indy - although the good defensive rapport between Kōji Katou and Daiki Fujiwara certainly helped, too. The fullbacks are getting old, easily exploited and should be replaced in the coming days, although Carla Hawkins rose to those particular challenges when she could.

Army and Navy fell victim to second-half syndrome again. Hopes were high as they drew Celestia and picked off Olympic in the beginning, and possibly through the roof as they put in competitive performances for the rest of the first ten to find themselves on 17 points. Henry Green popped the bubble, playing a blinder in a 4-0 Indy win at the New Barracks; they won one and drew three from there, but only the 1-1 draw against Grand Beach was deserved. A late Coluseris Dalousol own goal gave them victory against Aegis; they came back twice against Arsenal after Princess Sylvia clocked an extraordinarily dubious red card for "denying a goal-scoring opportunity" (she wasn't the last defender and Noah Chorley was thirty yards out); the Unicorn had two late "winners" chalked off on the penultimate day of the season. Darren Batchelor played the first few games and never surfaced again, other than as a late sub; Alan Hebblethwaite proved better, more unpredictable and responsible. Janice Bartley did well for herself, leading her team's scoring charts with eight and probing the area in almost every game, but the failure here is systematic. Alan Eldridge was a slightly sub-par captain, Brian Tarrant a slightly sub-par keeper, Tom Wilkinson a slightly sub-par debutant, Eric Stone a slightly sub-par midfielder - adding up to a horrible team.

Nova Aegis were, simply, much improved. They burnished their credentials early with wins over United, Army and Grand Beach, adding a few more points to come into the second half eighth. Despite keeping Indy to a one-goal win while holding Celestia, Olympic and the Unicorn, they blazed out against Athletic, never looked likely to get points from many of their other games, and will therefore have to settle for second-bottom despite earning a cool twenty points. The iconic George Guest struck seven times despite missing out on the last three games for shoving Sofyan, just one ahead of strike partner David Lenham, who is rapidly proving to be a McCabe success story and may be the club's sole striker in future. Susie Macintyre was a less inspired switch, regularly failing to spark action and effectively forcing most wide attacks to the right, where Stephen Jones was regularly thwarted. Dalousol was a liability again, conceding an own goal, giving away three penalties and at fault for two other goals. Mike Derry was the best defender the club's had for ten years and Lauren Smith was better than late-stage Davina Salt, but it was too little, too seldom.

Juventud returned to type after leapfrogging Aegis last time. For much of the season, they could take pride only in a draw against an Olympic side that largely took the opportunity to experiment and a close defeat to a Celestia team that trailed at half-time and struggled for most of the match; by the time they got back-to-back draws against Grand Beach and Good Hope, they were eleven points adrift at rock bottom. They looked more dangerous in the second half, keeping Athletic to a goal, shocking Indy and Army, and occasionally looking like they might get something out of their visit to Sword and Shield before conceding two late goals - but it was not to be, as they could only gather eleven points. Baraveral Helipovala was the thread that tied it all together: she was one of only two consistent performers, scoring ten, consistently dribbling past confused leftbacks and marking herself out for a future in football. Beth Stevens scored six. Rachel Curran was a good leader and the team's best defender. Rick Street was good, which is "poor" in Saint Eleanor League terms. Everybody else was okay, which is "shit" in SEL terms.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 9:56 pm

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2001 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Hiyashi Celestia: 1 (1999, 2000)

Round of Sixteen
Hiyashi Celestia 3–3 Juventud (5–3 AET)
Independence 1975 2–0 Grand Beach
University College (S&S youth team) 0–2 Golden Unicorn
Newbanks United 3–3 Occidental Olympic (3–3 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team) 0–3 Army and Navy
Nova Aegis 2–0 Saint Benedict's Catholic (independent CTS team)
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–0 Sword and Shield (0–1 AET)
Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team) 1–2 Good Hope Club

Quarterfinals
Good Hope Club 0–1 Occidental Olympic
Nova Aegis 1–0 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Sword and Shield (1–2 AET)
Army and Navy 1–3 Hiyashi Celestia

Semifinals
Nova Aegis 1–2 Occidental Olympic
Sword and Shield 3–4 Hiyashi Celestia

THE FINAL
Hiyashi Celestia 2–2 Occidental Olympic (2–3 AET)

OCCIDENTAL OLYMPIC - WINNERS OF THE 2001 SHOWCASE - ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 61
Will copy-and-paste lineup here after cutoff lmao
Manager: George Dunbar [he/him]

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Mar 05, 2023 5:59 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2002

Welcome to Hartridge, Kelbury, Northolt and Premier Community Schools!

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 52 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools. The two losing semifinalists from the previous year (the University College and Saint Benedict's Catholic) enter in the second round; Liberty and the finalists (the Eleanorian Academy and Whitehammer Community School) enter in the third round/round of sixteen; the rest begin from the first round. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2002 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1985. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, which is owned by the government of Squidroidia. The trials have varying levels of success, but at least one or two players are somehow offered contracts through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
Brightway CS 1–0 Bramblewood CS
Millerham CS 2–2 Premier CS (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Hartridge CS 1–0 St George CS
Oaktree CS 2–0 Marketplace CS
Army School 2–1 St Paul CS
Buckhead CS 3–1 Kelbury CS
Tannerton CS 3–1 Bishopgate CS
North Seville CS 0–1 Jacobville CS
Grand Beach CS 1–1 New Lizard CS (2–1 AET)
New St Paul CS 2–0 Magna CS
Richardgate CS 2–2 Goldsmiths CS (4–2 AET)
Broadlands CS 2–2 Girls' Preparatory (2–2 AET) (4–1 pen.)
Newbanks CS 2–0 Deepchester CS
Carpentersville CS 1–0 Elsmouth CS
Williamstown CS 1–1 Parkside CS (1–1 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Queenston CS 0–0 Springfield CS (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Wellington CS 2–3 Sunset Gates CS
Trident CS 2–2 Allington CS (2–4 AET)
Mount Dennis CS 0–1 Boys' Preparatory
Northolt CS 3–0 Crownedhead CS
Airport CS 0–1 Bonpool CS
Silverton CS 2–2 Blackwood CS (3–3 AET) (5–3 pen.)
Holland CS 6–2 Eastern Fell CS
New Bayside CS 1–0 Farbend CS

Round 2
New Bayside CS 0–1 Williamstown CS
Allington CS 0–1 Richardgate CS
Broadlands CS 2–0 Holland CS
New St Paul CS 1–1 Newbanks CS (2–1 AET)
Tannerton CS 0–1 University College
Brightway CS 3–0 Jacobville CS
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Bonpool CS
Queenston CS 2–1 Hartridge CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–0 Northolt CS (1–0 AET)
Carpentersville CS 1–0 Silverton CS
Grand Beach CS 1–1 Premier CS (1–2 AET)
Sunset Gates CS 0–1 Oaktree CS
Buckhead CS 1–0 Army School

Round 3
Broadlands CS 1–2 New St Paul CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 3–1 Carpentersville CS
Liberty 3–3 Williamstown CS (4–4 AET) (4–3 pen.)
University College 1–1 Brightway CS (2–1 AET)
Eleanorian Academy 1–0 Queenston CS
Premier CS 2–2 Buckhead CS (3–2 AET)
Boys' Preparatory 2–1 Richardgate CS
Whitehammer CS 0–0 Oaktree CS (2–0 AET)

Round 4
Premier CS 1–1 Liberty (2–2 AET) (3–0 pen.)
[Suzanne Richards 25', Ian Kingston 116'; Peter Almondsbury 54', 96']
[penalty shootout, Premier taking first: Suzanne Richards GOAL, Elaine Morton OVER, Oliver Rogers GOAL, Darren Butcher SAVED, Charlotte Phillips GOAL, Peter Almondsbury SAVED]
University College 3–4 Whitehammer CS
[Amelia Phillips 5', 68', Martin Jacks 48'; Rebecca Carter 18', Bill Aaronson 32', Liam Frost 78', Kathy Norris 90']
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–3 Eleanorian Academy
[Stephen Aldridge 58'; Michaela Simpson 25' and 64', Jim Fallon 69']
New St Paul CS 0–2 Boys' Preparatory
[Walenarale xeLanerilata 30', Andy Leeming 79']

Semifinals
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Eleanorian Academy
[Phil Parris 54']
Premier CS 3–1 Whitehammer CS
[Suzanne Richards 28', 43', Lanerasela xePanalerala 64'; Damien Lewis 89']

THE FINAL
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Premier CS ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (43,184 in attendance)
[Adam Tarrant 70']

Saint Eleanor will enter the Boys' Preparatory, the winners of the 2002 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 14. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers (all pronouns he/him): 1. Kevin Riley [GK]; 2. Steve Lucas [LB]; 3. Robert Simons [CB]; 4. George Henning [CM]; 5. Frank Rourke [RB]; 6. Patrick Mitchell [CB]; 7. Walenarale xeLanerilata [LM]; 8. Adam Tarrant [CM]; 9. James Evans [ST]; 10. Phil Parris [ST]; 11. Harry Anderson [RM]; 12. Bill Hanson [GK]; 13. Isaac Jones [LB]; 14. Cameron Davis [CB]; 15. Sam Lark [RM]; 16. Bryan Hedges [CM]; 17. Victor Powell [LM]; 18. Andy Leeming [ST]. They are joined by their manager, William Brunt [he/him].

Boys Preparatory will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Playing Fields 1 in Newbanks district, seated capacity 800. Although there are two Playing Fields shared between the Boys' and Girls' Preparatories, The Playing Fields 1 is the main pitch used, with TPF2 (which is standing room only) used - typically by the Girls' Prep - in case both schools need to play at home simultaneously. Following a generous donation in 1982, TPF1 boasts of a small uncovered grandstand on the long, eastern edge of the pitch - which not only helps distinguish itself from its younger counterpart, but also physically separates the pair.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2002, with Independence 1975 in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 14 - Whitehammer CS (crest left) and the Eleanorian Academy (crest middle) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 12. Their managers, Sarah Newbury [she/her] and Bill Patrick [he/him], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It is also the only field in the CTS - other than the Good Hope Stadium, shared by Trident CS and the Good Hope Club - to have four stands, which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

For recording the largest win at the 2002 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of Holland CS into Vilitan Cove Invitational 19. (Their crest is depicted above to the right.) SEFA, based on precedent and assumption, believes that Brightway CS's application to VCI 18 remains in force. The manager, Dacelarena Walenaxarela [he/him], is happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about his teamsheet should they ask for it.

Holland CS will play their home matches in the VCI at the James Howard Pitch in Brightway district, seated capacity 500. A relatively small arena with a relatively small stand to match, the Pitch - named after the school's first Head of PE, who died of lung cancer in 1994 - is relatively poorly-maintained with relatively poor floodlighting, offering a relatively bad fan experience in a relatively inconvenient location for a relatively forgettable team. All of this is relative to the big bad Catholic school up the road, by the way.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Charlotte Phillips. Wide players are often underestimated in the Eleanorian canon; new Community Schools in districts with heavy connections to infamous banks and no League side (yet), more so. Wallis was very much a traditional right midfielder, preferring to plan her runs forwards rather than looking to the inside, being well aware as a result of threats up ahead, and making sure her crosses were well-timed as well as well-placed. She lacks the blistering pace that Gavelzara xaDamareno gave us in 2000 and didn't even score once, but played perhaps a bigger role than anyone else in the team on their quest to final oh-so-near-to-glory, and has the ability and the capability of going far if she really wants it. (Her backup plan is to become a science teacher at her beloved Premier CS.)

Reforms are being undertaken to advanced entry from the 2003 Charles Trump Shield onwards. All quarterfinal losers - Liberty, University College, Saint Benedict's Catholic, and New St Paul CS - will enter the second round of the 2003 Shield. The semifinal and final losers - the Eleanorian Academy, Whitehammer Community School and Premier Community School - will enter the third round (last sixteen) of the 2003 Shield. The Boys' Preparatory, as winners of the 2002 Shield, will enter the fourth round (quarterfinals) of the 2003 Shield. Dispensations will no longer be granted for Liberty.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Mar 05, 2023 11:45 pm

The Saint Eleanor League of 2002

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2001 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 13th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2002, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
All players with underlined names play for their national team as of the start of 2002.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2002's list of dates here. (Also, it was literally eating up 20% of the post.) Please refer to the spoiler in this post - but keep in mind the CoH actually finished September 1st.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 6. Esther Launceston [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [CAPTAIN] [CM; 33yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 32yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Lauren Pell [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 30yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Kent [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 15. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Fred Newton [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [40yo; they/them]: The Reds were all the wrong kinds of focused last year: scraping a league triumph, crashing out in the Showcase's opening round and crumbling in the Challengers' Cup against little Southbay Riveria of Indusse. Yelto-Aflan has been told - in the politest terms possible - that they can play around with the squad as much as they want, so long as they keep to Marie Ackroyd's favoured 4-4-2 of sorts. The general pattern, at least at the start of the games, would suggest Nightingale and Driver working together up front, the fullbacks willing to overlap their respective - more conservative - wide midfielders if necessary, Tresco continuing to serve as immediate defensive cover, Launceston retaining her long-time willingness to move between the defensive line and Tresco's area, and the rest of the backline staying back off the ball.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 28yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 30yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 30yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 27yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 16. Richard King [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 26yo; she/her]; 18. Keith Surtees [ST; 32yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [39yo; she/her]: Despite Celestia following up a double-winning season with a runners'-up finish in both competitions (and an IFCF group stage), Schanke continues to have the trust of HQ. Rumours of further improvement proved completely unfounded this winter, as they did for most clubs - and Honda will continue to be the backbone of the attack, with support from prospective international Goldsmith and softly-spoken dynamism from captain Kuronuma. A more defensive touch has been instilled in recent times: Nicholls is as cynically capable as ever (especially on her day), but watch out for Šasawić to continue making the kinds of unpretentious impacts the multiverse got to see from him in - and look to see if the once-nondescript Ito burnishes his credentials enough to warrant a promotion to the top of Kaya Michiyu's pecking order of goalkeepers, too.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. John Bailey [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 5. Luke Elliott [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 6. Liam West [CAPTAIN] [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Alice Christopher [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Sophie Wilton [ST; 32yo; she/her]; 10. Henry Green [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 11. Bobby Smith [RM; 34yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dan Davis [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 30yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 17. Richard Dale [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 31yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Derek Pittam [66yo; he/him]: The long-time boss's doomsday clock is running on seconds, not minutes. Excellent springtime results last year masked weaknesses in almost the entire structure - with the honourable exception of captain Liam West's usual dominions - and they did not deserve to notch the single end-of-season win against Occidental Olympic that they did. All the usual faces are there and require little introduction. West is legendary; Elliott, increasingly, is slipping from the realms of good (although Joshua Tanner might relish getting his chance if needs must). David Newcastle, unshakably cool, calm, and the most reassuring kind of robotic, is the best member of the midfield; Layla Grover, who finally looks like making her fiery attitude match-safe, is a honourable second but well ahead of her peers. And what of Wilton, Green and substitute Dale, who are exceedingly unlikely to be evicted from the squad barring life-changing injury - unlikely - or a drastic sea-change - assured if the nation's favourites get off to a sloppy start?

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 23yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Sylvia Hollenberg [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 32yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [CAPTAIN] [RM; 31yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 24yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Sam Bradman [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Lucas Barrow [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [42yo; she/her]: As returns go, 2001 was impressive; there's an argument to be made that they deserved a Champions' League spot, if not the title itself, although the squad - largely, although this time not entirely, the same - would be wise not to overstretch themselves this time around. Gordon is still trying to escape the reputation of being part of a "front four" - although national teamers Roanoke and Martin will generally continue to supply balls into the centre nonetheless, for Marcus and perhaps here. Rounds and Hollenberg are now de facto defensive midfielders, although both will go forwards if necessary, joining the fullbacks - while the central-defence two, as they always do, avoid charging.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 24yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 33yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [CAPTAIN] [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 26yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 24yo; she/her]; 10. Patrick Budd [ST; 36yo; he/him]; 11. Tim Brandon [RM; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Ellie Burton [CB; 33yo; she/her]; 15. Will Edgebrook [LB; 34yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 30yo; she/her]; 17. Michelle Tallard [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [45yo; she/her]: Unlike a few other managers in the League, Atherton managed to buy herself some time with a surprise IFCF qualification; while a repeat is not necessarily expected given the calibre of the midtable rank-and-file, a similarly passable showing would do her and her lot nicely for 2003. While McNamara - one of the Fabulous Four - has gone, it's expected that the more rigid Sara Halbrook should serve the team similarly well, with Patrick Budd adopting a more stationary posture too. Hardheaded starter Sam Newbridge and occasional impact sub Tim Brandon should continue to show why they deserve their places on the national team while Christina Fulton - on the more attacking end of the fullback spectrum - ought to restate her case for joining them/ Question marks, however, hover over the aging central midfield and the rest of the defence; Atherton might have to find out the hard way why you cannot just rely on wing support alone.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Chris Barker [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 21yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 20yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 34yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [CAM; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM, but closer to CDM; 32yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 20yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 30yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [43yo; he/him]: There is very little new under the sun in Dunbar's world; he chooses to add just two new faces to the squad, both reservists who'll have to wait some time to crack Parkside. The classic front three - mobile Pilchard, static but effective weMexala and well-rounded Key - are, for all intents and purposes, a front five: Short and Cooper on the wings are growing old, so their reluctance to engage in the more extreme runs we may see from pairings elsewhere could be ingrained as much as it is taught. The defensive ranks, while broadly unknown, continue to be solid, capable and unpretentious. All of this adds up to a side that will continue to challenge for the IFCF now and in the future - a particular achievement in a Saint Eleanor League where the top has become ever more congested.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [CAPTAIN] [GK; 30yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Caitlynn Jones [CM; 33yo; she/her]; 5. Aaron Francis [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Matt Shilling [LM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [CAM; 26yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 21yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 38yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. Susie Furlong [CB; 32yo; she/her]; 15. Diana Ellison [RB; 33yo; she/her]; 16. Samuel Lewis [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 27yo; he/him]; 18. Tim Hart [ST; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [59yo; he/him]: Do the relative lack of changes to the Unicorn squad betray a lack of innovation on Jones' part - or is it, perhaps, an indication that things are perfectly fine as they are and they need one last push to benefit from Saint Eleanor's newly-found extra IFCF slot? Those around the club will be convinced it's the latter: Pazorzal, often supplied by his de-facto co-striker Monaco, remains the key up front, with the now-shifted Mariani having proven productive enough out wide to stay there. Reformed brute Aaron Francis is surrounded by two good defenders this time, with the nondescript but effective Laker alongside the ever-blunt Logan Hughes, a hero in some circles. Georgia Wood will continue to keep quiet, get on with the job and make a couple of sarcastic comments about things she doesn't like. And, of course, this reporter's warnings about Tim Hart from last time: "Pazzo" has enough of a reputation that he might indirectly force his departure and replacement with a quieter reserve.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-5-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 31yo; she/her]; 7. Falareta Wesevta [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 30yo; she/her]; 10. Peter Simpson [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 20yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Aaron Burrow [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 17. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 30yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [41yo; she/her]: The more lineups change, the more lineups stay the same: Kirkport has, by and large, opted for the same starting lineup that punctuated 2001's success story. The lineup now is all but a 4-1-4-1, with Bryant dropping back and the rest of the midfield charging ahead when needs must (even Wesevta, whose inclusion in the squad remains widely questioned). Sofyan, the more durable brick in the defensive wall, lives to fight another day despite a substantial minority of fans refusing to believe that Good Hope is anything other than a stepping stone for him; Laura Brown, a devoted one-club woman, will no doubt continue to interact with Bryant where and when necessary, with sweeper-keeper Downing (still a rarity among Eleanorians) covering. Cleveland, who got almost half of the team's goals last time, should remain there or thereabouts.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 25yo; she/her]; 2. Matt Johnson [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 3. Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 24yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Paul Barring [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Polly Ground [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Garton [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 25yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [54yo; he/him]: Unlike the other new team, United was never fated to be great. The fact the Squidroidian Government has divested after a series of poor league performances spells it all out - although Fans United, the temporary ownership consortium, continues to have faith in the manager. His Squidroidian backbone, too, stays: the centreback pairing's characteristics are famous, Ishida continues to take a more forwards role in the attack than Crawshaw, and Borysov should continue to influence matches from out wide alongside Banbury. In light of widespread past concern about trial-winner benching, this year's fortunate youngster, Harriet Farnham, is thrown at the deep end; although a relatively unknown quantity, both manager and owners alike are convinced she can cut it.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Lance-Corporal; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 4. Jennifer Smith [CM; Sergeant; 31yo; she/her]; 5. Tom Wilkinson [CB; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [CB; Lance-Corporal; 21yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Eric Stone [CM; Sergeant; 27yo; he/him]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 25yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 30yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 20yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Jordan Ellis [GK; Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 13. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 26yo; she/her]; 15. Lucy Barton [CM; Corporal; 27yo; she/her]; 16. Mike Chancellor [ST; Private; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Roger Elliott [55yo; General; he/him]: Ask not for whom the bell will toll - especially not if the much-loved Elliott continues to slack on the basics. Forcing Wallace to play as an inverted winger appears to be a stroke of genius in a post-Batchelor world; dragging new arrival Chancellor onto the subs bench almost immediately apperas to be contingency planning for life after Noah Chorley, if not Aidan Harris indeed. Eldridge and Livingston continue to be key to the defence, but Wilkinson needs to improve if this is to count for much - and the midfield pairing of Smith and Stone is starting to crumble very slowly indeed. All in all, this is a side that sings very much the same tune as in recent years: scratchy, off-key, damned by the critics and never likely to be a hit with the public.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Chloe Butler [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 2. Dan Woodcock [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 3. Rachel Curran [CAPTAIN] [RB; 20yo; she/her]; 4. Will Ryan [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 5. Trisha Oldham [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Rick Street [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. Henry Bennett [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Luke Ryan [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 9. Beth Stevens [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 10. Gary Wellington [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Baraveral Helipovala [RM; 21yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Jack Davison [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Paxevalona voSalnafera [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Lucy Longwood [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Faralena xaRevanerala [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Gregory McInnes [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Sarah Gardner [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 18. Kate White [ST; 20yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [61yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth, so don't expect much in the way of improvement from 2001 - despite a similar core of players. Marketplace CS legend Curran, a good if conservative fullback, keeps the armband after a relatively spectacular season, while Helipovala can expect to be joined in serious attacks by the physically-fluid Beth Stevens. Rick Street, relatively excellent as ever, is joined this time by the extremely unheralded Trisha Oldham, while Luke Ryan joins his younger brother Luke in central midfield. Otherwise, expect noise in a club filled to the brim with noise.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stephen Wright [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 31yo; she/her]; 4. Coluseris Dalousol [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Derry [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 30yo; she/her]; 8. Anne Hoar [CM; 33yo; she/her]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 33yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 36yo; he/him]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 25yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Collins [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Stephen Shepley [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Greg Mallett [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 29yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Simon McCabe [43yo; he/him]: The closest thing today's Nova Aegis has to a success story (or a World Cup goalscorer), novice McCabe's arrival at the end of the 2000 season gave the team as realistic a turnaround as they could have expected. Rather incredibly, the most sack-happy club in the League is willing to give him an extra season to see how he does. While Guest remains in the lineup for experience's sake, Lenham is poised to become the frontline's north star this year. Smith, the team's new leftback, should continue to offer unprecedented defensive stability to the side; Anne Hoar remains in the side, but there is every chance she could be substituted out for Stephen Shepley, a pickup from the Polytechnic who could become another conversion success story. McCabe - or whoever succeeds him - will need to make similar moves far more often if they are to keep up with the top-ten Joneses.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 8
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

Who's Hot and Who's Not? (by Lily Rudgley of The Express)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2002     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   18   0   4    57   27  +30    54
 2 Independence 1975                  22   12   5   5    28   17  +11    41
 3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   12   4   6    44   32  +12    40
 4 Sword and Shield                   22   11   4   7    49   36  +13    37
 5 Golden Unicorn                     22    9   7   6    31   24   +7    34
 6 Occidental Olympic                 22   10   3   9    39   40   −1    33
 7 Grand Beach                        22    9   5   8    32   30   +2    32
 8 Newbanks United                    22    8   4  10    27   30   −3    28
 9 Good Hope Club                     22    6   5  11    20   29   −9    23
10 Army and Navy                      22    6   4  12    22   39  −17    22
11 Nova Aegis                         22    6   2  14    21   37  −16    20
12 Juventud                           22    2   3  17    29   58  −29     9

HOT: Lydia Sharp. It took just two home games for Independence 1975 to get rid of Derek Pittam: a poor defeat to Nova Aegis and an inexplicable decision to throw away a two-goal lead against Occidental Olympic. His replacement happened to be club legend and assistant manager Lydia Sharp - 47 years old, looking to get off to a good start and a bit minded towards sorting a few members of the team out after the season ends. Winning the title was always unrealistic, but she did take the Liberators back to the Champions' League for the first time in five long, radically-changed years. Under her guidance, they comfortably claimed the title of Most Defensively Efficient, well below a goal a game with the usual suspects at play. A paltry rate up front could be improved, but a win is a win: only title winners Athletic got three points more than they did. And Layla Grover - as well as getting a bit more involved offensively - didn't get sent off once. If they can do all that on the world stage...

NOT: Roger Elliott. You don't need to be an expert on the Army League - which nobody is, come to think of it - to know that Army and Navy's boss isn't really making the most of it. Mike Chancellor's promotion is the most glaring instance: he has no professional pedigree, was chosen for reasons unknown, and (despite some good substitute performances) does not have the kind of background that Army either should be considering or was taking into account in its heyday twenty years ago. Even the more experienced players are dubious: neither Jennifer Smith nor Eric Stone has proven themselves to be fit for purpose; Victor Bone, once decent, is sliding too - although he needs improvement rather than relegation. There are a couple of "ones for the future" around, if treated right - Shilling and Thame the big examples - but major reform will be required if tenth is not to be considered their natural habitat in the future.

HOT: Sylvia Hollenberg. Cast your mind back to April the 9th. The rest of the world focuses on the World Cup playoffs. Saint Eleanor, beaten there by the Holy Empire on the narrowest margin of goal difference, couldn't give less of a shit; it's bracing for more League football. The University is in crisis mode: Sword and Shield have only picked up two points from six games, "beaten" only by pointless Juventud... and their next match is against Athletic. Scary stuff. Enter the Princess: broad but almost laser-focused vision; precision with - and without - the ball; cult status, so to speak. She tees up pass after pass, feeds in Maddie Gordon for the opener, helps the crimson reds to a 3-2 win and watches as they gain 32 points over the last fourteen games, more than enough to get back in the IFCF. Hollenberg is at her best yet - she delivers every game, seems to know intuitively what she has to do to improve, and even won the Cup of Harmony this summer - and it is unfortunate that, an unlikely lack of interest pending, we will see no more of her here.

NOT: Trisha Oldham. Juventud has a track record of hiring players that turn out to be fakes, phonies or otherwise suspect simply because they go to the Polytechnic and look the part. That scene hadn't been terribly active since Saint Eleanor first enrolled in the IFCF, but Oldham served as tribute to farce this year. It took her four games to cost her side a much-needed point, attempting to go on a late, well-meaning but headless dribble which Melcheta Pazorzal stole with ease and rolled into the net. The errors were manifold as they were hilarious: clearing the ball into Hugh Roanoke's unmentionables from close-range (which she insisted was an accident), slide-tackling so hardly into Patrick Budd - despite thinking she got the ball, which was five yards away - that she got a two-match ban, ramming into Robert Williams almost immediately after he was substituted on for a corner clearance (an easy penalty for Takeshi Honda). Was this malice, stupidity, or sacrifice? Her father is a delivery driver for a foodservice company that supplies the University.

HOT: Fans United. Newbanks United was a state club in the loosest sense possible, and no further. The Squidroidian Government lent it some compatriots and Ian Graham bought a couple on the market, but attempts at co-ordination were always scant at best. While nobody welcomed the government's announcement of divestment, attitudes will have undoubtedly changed upon the arrival of Fans United, a large, fan-run consortium with an eye to keeping the club up for the short term. It is not a true fan-ownership structure, either - it's held afloat by a few dozen long-suffering, and often wealthy, Students in the local area - but nobody can deny that the club has improved, been more willing to take appropriate risks, and had more of an eye towards the future under their rule. A model for future financial rescues, if we don't default to the District Council?

NOT: The Hiyashi Corporation. Hello, big spenders? Despite the founders of 1999's other expansion team being far more flush with cash, resources and perhaps influence, Isi Šasawić and Nicole Morlock remain their only imports so far - both on the cheap. It might be the club's international reputation, but their stock has surged since their emergence and they made the top two in their first three years of existence. This time around, they were a solid third-best behind an Athletic team so hot it was on fire and an Independence side I've already discussed. Top seeding in the Challengers' Cup will offer opportunities as well as challenges; Hiyashi in particular needs to face up to both. This might mean the moneybags spending spree it's promised for so long; it might mean some more tinkering about - but things can, must and will change.

HOT: Yelto-Aflan Ono. You wouldn't believe with that margin of victory that the title wasn't wrapped up until round twenty, but it's true. Was it because everyone else had a late-season wobble? Unlikely: Athletic finished internationally not only after the league ended, but long beyond all of their IFCF-entering compatriots. Was it because of Yelto-Aflan's tinkering? Probably not: the side had one of the most solid and constant cores of any serious club, anywhere. Was it because of the quality of the players? They are variable by absolute standards - but many of the players are gems, broadly underdiscovered (even by themselves), and they are set up very well for the rest of the decade. Or shall we just blame YAO themselves, who brought the team as we know it together, has adopted a wildly co-operative attitude to management, avoided the kinds of major rifts that have plagued all manner of other Eleanorian sides and staked a veritable claim to fame so early in their managerial career?

NOT: Simon McCabe. Okay, so this is just silly. Until 1998, Nova Aegis had never won four consecutive games. They began this season by winning five. And not against bottom-of-the-barrel sides, either: Indy, Olympic and the Golden Unicorn were all picked off. McCabe was being hailed as a tactical genius for dragging out an old, stale core of players, forcing them to make history and giving them an astonishing five-point lead. Did it secure his safety? Probably. Did they get five points from their last seventeen games? Most certainly. If McCabe wants to be remembered as a tactical genius who forces his players to make history, he should get new ones; to wit, he should be remembered as someone who does to his players what the club did to its managers until recently. George Guest is 36 and rapidly becoming irrelevant. The average age of the midfield is 31 and being held together by sheer willpower. Olympic expat Mike Derry and new arrival Lauren Smith are the only things standing between the club and complete armageddon. No amount of internal hype can stop that.

HOT: The Kandorese. Where they were present, the Eleanorians typically had average seasons (or, in Dagan Morlock's case, a distinctly average one). The small Kandorese contingent in, perhaps, the club of their homeland went gangbusters to the last. Takeshi Honda was miles away from the Golden Boot - he only got 21 to Nightingale's eyebrow-raising 29 - but he remained the mainstay of the attack, receiving from all areas, focusing on giving back to strike partner Rick Goldsmith and reaping the rewards. Nobusuke Kuronuma has understandably enhanced his reputation as a central midfielder with an attacking lilt - almost like old-school Natalie Monaco - but worked with the ever-present Lydia Nicholls (until she wasn't for the final few games) to break up promising play at the earliest stages. And Shojiro Ito put forward a strong argument for being one of the League's best goalkeepers, especially keeping in mind that many of the big errors were concocted by his defenders instead; he is not perfect and cannot correct all of them, but did a fine job of wiping up whenever he could.

NOT: The Squidroidians. The new owners of Newbanks United, as I said, have done a remarkable job. What the players did is only remarkable in the sense they need to look at it again and give themselves more realistic assessments. Daiki Fujiwara and captain Kōji Katou, working together at centreback, appear to have been shaken by recent events, committing more errors than before and sometimes failing to coordinate and focus even in times of little thread. Thirty goals against is not only not an improvement on last season; it does not even trump ultra-attacking Athletic. Hamnet Borysov, the Inkling, was fast but a bit more inaccurate, slightly less precise, than before - faults that led opposing defenders to find him a much less potent and much more thwartable opponent than in seasons past. Nobuyuki Ishida did, at least, deliver on leading the line - ten goals is nothing to be sniffed at, except perhaps if you are Wayne Crawshaw, who got himself a relatively impressive seven.

HOT: Wlad Wlad. Yelto-Aflan's tinkering has, for the most part, left the fundamental focus of the club intact. I'd like to be controversial and say that Wlad Wlad, the Lhor outcast whose departure precipitated the collapse of the Chromatik outfit as a serious force, is at the core of the club's defence. People love to say that he's "consistent" and just knows the basics - but his skillset goes far beyond that. He is, at this point, more than adept as marking his other closely, knowing when and not just where to clear, gathering the ball in the first place without too much fuss, and providing spades of support for his teammates on the field. Everybody - yes, even the now-much-vaunted Esther Launceston, who's been known to have regular discussions with him about the pressure of national-team football - is learning from him.

NOT: Isi Šasawić. Hiyashi Celestia is not exactly a club known for defensive masterclasses, although the pregnancy-enforced absence of Lydia Nicholls for the six post-summer matches didn't help. You'd expect Šasawić to have performed well even relative to his club's standards, but did this happen? I don't know. They conceded 32 goals, above the historical average, and left opportunities for three points everywhere: nobody at the club wants to concede six goals against Athletic like they did in '99 - but they did in round four. They shouldn't have lost twice against Olympic, but they did. They shouldn't have even risked defeat at home to Juventud as they did. Šasawić was plenty responsible for mistakes: more than he did previously; more than you'd expect in comparison to the defence's average. It is not like people were scoring wondergoals against Celestia: they were capitalising on basic mistakes. If they stop making them, they can easily return to past glories.

HOT: Ian Jones. This was hardly a Lydia Sharp-scale rescue mission, but Ian Jones has done masterfully in taking the once-grand Unicorn from last to the IFCF spots in six years. Just taking a look at this year's results, it's easy to conclude he knows his best lineup: it includes a twenty-year-old nobody's ever heard of, yes - but it also features four members of the national team, a Macbonian star, and an otherwise strong group of partnerships on and off the pitch, mostly (if not entirely) thanks to the manager's strong efforts in creating a close-knit group of good players. A lot of clubs on both ends of the table need to seriously rethink their approaches to tactics, strategy, and co-operation. The Golden Unicorn is not one of them, and they can look forward to at least one nice foreign holiday as a result. A working holiday, I should add.

NOT: Julia Atherton. As disappointments go, I will add, this was relatively acceptable. After all, they were in the IFCF! The Dolphins, however, could have done better: they hovered around 6th and 7th for the entire second half of the season, never looking like serious contenders for a return to the IFCF, losing 4-2 (to Arsenal) and crashing 7-2 (to Athletic) at the very end of the season, and generally achieving the bare minimum. If you substitute the well-to-do Rachel McNamara's name accordingly, you have years of analyses of where Grand Beach went wrong; this is not the place to reheat them. What I will say is that, since she took over, Atherton has been seriously underperforming in her role - failing to get the best players she can in, trusting too much in her existing folk, and yes, not having a serious look at the form of certain players. This is not to say she is facing trouble in the dressing room - but you can give it a couple of years with no change if you really want.

ALSO NOT: The Good Hope Club. Come on! Is this how you follow up one-in-ten-year campaigns these days? Dropping from seventh to eighth to ninth in three seasons under a new manager and a mostly-new lineup is not an achievement so much as it is a warning. These should not be the kind of alarm bells that wake up the Supporters' Trust, who are still behind club legend Mary Kirkport - but they are ahead of only the sides that are clearly worse than them. Yusuf Sofyan was one of the brightest spots: courageous, happy to get into fights (almost an essential for certain club occasions), and most importantly willing to do what he must in a manner that he loves. Amanda Cleveland, who got exactly half of their twenty goals and showed she could create her way out of any position, was brilliant too. Many of their teammates, however, were a bit sloppy, perhaps even disjointed, and could not combine all too often. Nobody at the club wants it to be world-beating instantly - but there must be at least some semblance of trying.

HOT: Immigrants. Looking for a new club? Saint Eleanor most likely will have you covered, if you think zero income tax is a sufficient price to pay for being stuck on a tiny, proudly right-of-centre and overly oil-rich island. Hollenberg, as aforementioned, is going to be leaving the club next year - and if she can't move, it's likely she'll stick around at the University for another year. Sharp could get rid of anyone in the squad who isn't in the national team, except Donald Hutchings (who's a known fan of the new order). The South Newlandian free agents that appear to crop up every now and then might have a very floppy ear for any vacanies that McCabe might clear out, too. In general, if you're old, fuddy-duddy and can't be reshuffled, expect to leave - and be replaced. I'm not naming names, but...!

NOT: Emigrants. No, I don't mean the people who - for personal or collective reasons - might want to book their plane tickets. I, and everyone else without obvious partisan affiliations in each case (to be decided!), wish them the best of luck. I am, of course, talking about the Eleanorians who have left. Sure, there's McNamara, but records are scant beyond hers. The "Curse of Katie O'Donnell" that the dryer Eleanorians sometimes like to poke fun at the Shango-Fogoa Premier League for persisted in 2002; sorry, Kitara AA fans who like detail with their tables. There are no immediate records from the Licentian Isles - where James Trott's promotion push has likely been a lost cause since D. Tommy Sanford's arrest - or anything at all from John Parkinson's Cordia. Admin error beneficiary Angela Dixon can be assumed to be part of Sterling Heights of Cassadaigua's sharp and pointy furniture, while it's likely Angelica Northend did day-to-day things for the Capital Cove Defense Forces. However...

HOT: Former Olympians. Occidental Olympic's three graduates - that's our patch of the world - have done us proud in recent times, from what little I've been able to tell. Exandra Davies looks to have gotten herself out of too much trouble in a Jolbonopolis United side whose troubles and successes appear to be more collective than not. Bridget Coombe's foremost achievement with Latrobe Athletic appears to have been scoring a wondergoal against CF Saint-Remy towards the end of the season which started their decline almost out of the Champions' League spots - although she's introverted enough to appreciate she doesn't need too much fame and probably merciful enough that she isn't going through another terrible patch like in her first season again. And, of course, Adam Denby won the cup with the other Olympic, the one in Mytanija's biggest city. Imagine that - Adam Denby, back in the IFCF next year! You won't have to imagine.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Mar 06, 2023 12:43 am

OOC: Everything that's written here is mine. With that said:
1. The Cove Testimonial is a news outlet that operates in Capital Cove, where Northend plays. I have CPC/Zeta Reka's permission to use their branding for this roleplay.
2. Kichirō Matsuda is a Squidroidian citizen who plays for the Eleanorian Academy. Work on his words on the Academy's RSC performances were unfortunately started after Squidroidia's last gameside login and before cutoff. I hope he likes this, however.

THE COVE TESTIMONIAL
ANGELICA NORTHEND: Never mind me - how have my compatriots been finding this year's IFCF?

Every other week, this column would be dedicated to covering my fortunes and (especially this season) misfortunes with the Capital Cove Defense Forces. However, this year's IFCF has just gone, and a bunch of my fellow Eleanorians - plus the foreigners they have in tow - have run the full spectrum of emotions from the tension of debut quarterfinals to the relatively lesser pain of instant elimination with their own clubs. So I thought that it would only be sensible to gather their takes on their taste of international club football.

I've gone to the lengths of interviewing some of the more unheralded names, too - ensuring that you get views that may be overlooked, but which are no less accurate or timely in nature. I know that audiences in Capital Cove are interested in hearing about how my colleagues, not just myself, have performed. Now all of that's been said, let's get to it. I'll warn you it'll take your time, but you'll feel more informed about Saint Eleanor, its clubs, its people, its culture and its true feelings about football by the end of it.

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Athletic Saint Eleanor (league winners; Champions League champions' path)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Tim Driver: SS Vitelogna are, to say the least, rather little-known. Then again, that is the rub of the Associations' Trophy - first knockout round, the best league champions who weren't quite so lucky in the classic tournaments, the people who barely cut it in the Challengers' Cup; it was us in the second category against them in the first. We thought a 3-0 lead would have been a handy cushion to take into Macbon. They scored twice in the first fifteen and that threw us, though.

Northend: I can see why; they were up 5-2 after extra time.

Driver: I'd love to say I was the key behind getting ourselves back in the game but there are two things that counteract that. First off, this was typical Nightingale: she trampled on every square inch of grass, was probably tempted to whip out her wings a couple of times - but didn't - scored once, rolled it back to Harriet for the other, and we were "leading" 4-2. The sucker punch was a couple of minutes before time.

Northend: No more joy in extra time, it looked like.

Driver: There wasn't - they took the lead again! We were so fortunate to string them back, but when it came down to penalties, I'd say that's a flat-out skill issue. They had one, anyway. Almost all of us scored.

Northend: All nine of you... except Esther Launceston, up at number seven.

Driver: I thought she was better at penalties than just hitting it at the opposition goalie. Anyway, she got her punishment. We had an informal team meeting a few days later - not about tactics, just banter, a few drinks and similar stuff - and she had to rock up in a maid outfit! I mean, that fits her always-on-call attitude. A couple of us laughed at her but she seemed to take it in good stead.

Northend: If you had to work as a maid for a few months, how would you fare?

Driver: Not as good as Esther would. That woman can do literally everything. I think she'd make a good President of Saint Eleanor after George Mitcham dies! She'd make a good team captain if Nightingale ever steps down anyway - and I think we all know Nightingale's going to succeed Hattie [Harriet Williams] as skip. Anyway, I'm glad you said it's time-limited; I'd never be able to hold that down as a full-time job.

Northend: Speaking of service, your opponents in the later rounds got a mixed reception. You eased past Fligsive FC of the Euran Oceanian Territories in both legs and got a draw against Celtic Noviodunum of the Afanc Strait Superleague at the end of your quarterfinal...

Driver: You mentioned the end of the quarterfinal! The first leg was horrid.

Northend: Who made the difference in that first leg?

Driver: Jackie [Jacquelyn] Swan-Weiss. I'm not a defender, but I was tracking back so much that I can say, with a lot of accuracy, that she was a fucking pest. She had the pace, the skills, the trickery, the force - the simple gravitas I wish I had that day. And the goals, of course. I'm not even mentioning everyone else, but if that doesn't spell "golden age in the making," I can't tell you what does.

Northend: Of course, every IFCF journey has to start somewhere, and your team's Champions League journey began against...

Driver: Celtic Noviodumumumumumum!

Northend: It's pronounced Noviodunum.

Driver: Haha! Swan-Weiss was an issue in the first leg of that [Champions' League third qualifying round] - scored once, big role in the other - but, as I love to stress, Nightingale was the real star of the show in the home leg. If she wasn't there - she's come in clutch in far bigger situations - we wouldn't have won. But maybe the rematch would have been delayed - and who knows? If we were playing in 2005 or 2006, Jackie would have scored twelve or thirteen in the first half.

Northend: That's mathematics at work for you. Aleiusia Capital?

Driver: We were one win away from the Champo groups again. Pity that win was 1-0 and came too late for us to drop. First ever playoff loss for anyone, huh? Maybe we should have played Atletik instead. Bogdan Rawic must have done it for us; Rekan national team old hat like Wlad, right place, right oppo, right time. Beware that if you ever play us, Mr Denby. Very, very wary.

Northend: Not this time: Thessia's other team are going to be in the Cup Winners' Cup, while you missed out on cup glory by some distance this year.

Driver: As far as Saint Eleanor is concerned, "Thessia's other team" is Atletik. Olympic are, by all accounts, the good guys. Our record against Atletik was four for four, all teams, all competitions - then we lost 5-0 on aggregate to them in the group stages. Groups are important too, I like to think; we can't pass opportunities by at that stage just because our fate isn't super-attached to it. Had we even gotten something out of one of those games, those bastards would be out and we'd be good good. Still, we beat Eastal Lunar, who won the group, so neat.

Northend: I think you've just explained perfectly how Eleanorians should react to apparently irrelevant group games.

Driver: On the other hand - had we lost, the Eterna Stars would be through instead and we'd be pissed as all hell like we were last time! We'd be out fair and square, though, not due to a well-documented technicality.

Northend: And now we're back to where you started! All in all, you've given a pretty good summary of how the Reds fared, what your thoughts are and where you think we could have improved.

Driver: I can only do so much in a snap interview with snap answers, but cheers for the kind words, Angelica. They mean a lot to me and at least a few dozen other people around the club! laughs

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Hiyashi Celestia (league runners-up; Champions League league path)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Robert Williams: The 1-1 draw at home to Istria City [in the third qualifying round of the Champions' League] was really excruciating. We went down after a bit - 2-0 overall, thank goodness we don't have away goals anymore - and, naturally, the attitude was "we can get these bastards if we really try."

Northend: You then dropped into the Challengers' Cup, where you met an identical fate at the hands of Eramanian titans Royal Daulapura.

Williams: Wanna know the difference? We never had a serious shot. The goal we scored there was late, fluky and against the run of play. I was substituted on there in place of Lydia Nicholls, who had a good shift - good on her for finally winning something big - and, while I felt as though the last fifteen minutes or so, the ones for which I was playing, were better than the rest of the game, I didn't feel as though we had opportunities. How could we make them count?

Northend: But that doesn't quite excuse the various chances you had in the first leg, a 1-0 home defeat to the Royalties.

Williams: Oooooh - Angie over here asking the big questions. Takeshi Honda, on his day, can be the best striker in the world. Those lot had him clamped down tight, though; Rick Goldsmith is a great strike partner, but I don't know how he'd fare solo. That, and our defence wasn't as packed as tightly as we needed it to be; that makes for a very sad Celestia. We don't want a sad Celestia!

Northend: Celestia conceded in all six of their IFCF games this season, were behind after all three first legs, and could - ironically - only claw yourself back into contention in the first set of matches, against Astograth's Sporting Iturributa, thanks to an individual masterclass from Goldsmith himself.

Williams: It's not every day you see somebody in Eleanorian football score a hat-trick - but, as I said, Takeshi. He provided the big backup for Rick, propped him up with a couple of assists and set us up on the road to success. He was held back against Royal Daulapura and hardly seemed at his best against Istria; sorry, but I'm here to tell the truth.

Northend: Didn't the midfield have a role, too?

Williams: Yes, even on the very common occasions I wasn't in it. Really, you can split it into three parts - not two. Nobusuke Kuronuma, the captain, is an excellent bloke, but not a true attacking midfielder; he holds back a bit and is a bit of an all-rounder, like the second-best Williams to play in central midfield in Saint Eleanor. Guess who's number one? There's Joe Galbraith and Bart Forrest out wide; really, they're just extensions of the striker line. And then there's Lydia Nicholls; lovely woman, but I'm afraid I've had to plug in for her all too often. Sometimes due to carelessness...

Northend: I've been told Nicholls is going to miss the first half of next season because she's pregnant with twin boys; that's why she hasn't played any games since she appeared for the final thirty minutes of the Cup of Harmony semifinal against Audioslavia.

Williams: Only a few months? If my wife was in her position, I think she'd just dip for four or five years! laughs Seriously; Lydia is very hardy, we've seen that on and off the pitch, and she'll cope just fine with having a couple of kids. Work-life balance? Maybe an issue, but she'll get that particular thing ironed out in time.

Northend: It looks like you've been silent for a bit.

Williams: Yeah. I've said my piece on Celestia. Hopefully we can do this again and have better times than before.

Northend: Indeed; I'm always happy to cheer on the Eleanorians. Best wishes!

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Sword and Shield (league third place; Challengers Cup)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Gordon Pratt: Whatever the fuck happened with Brinemouth was pretty fucking silly, if I'm being honest. We're at our place, draw 1-1, decent chance... then all of a sudden, we cock it 5-1?

Northend: Athletic Saint Eleanor's campaign also ended, in effect, with a 5-1 defeat.

Pratt: That was fatal. This was just terrible. Plus, you should look at what happened to Olympic.

Northend: Historically speaking, Brinemouth are the greatest club in Nepharan history. The margin is embarrassing, but they have far greater status - more expectations - than Sword and Shield.

Pratt: I don't say I know too much about those guys. You see, I was a Uni student; chemistry was more my jam. But we haven't exactly been the best team on our patch, either; we're maybe the fourth-best team out of twelve on average.

Northend: Less history, more practical stuff: what would you say were the factors that made the two legs so different?

Pratt: Home advantage. Our stadium's been around for a while. Their stadium is a fucking Eagle's Club. You can't argue with that. I think that was what tipped the balance in their favour; put fifty thousand nice, middle-class people together in one place, make sure that place has football and you're the total opposite of set. Especially when you have a team I'm roughly as old as, for the most part!

Northend: No consideration to the quality of the players?

Pratt: Don't give me that look; we have good folk aplenty in our roll call. We have Princess Sylvia, Jess Martin, Hugh Roanoke, Arielle Richardson... yeah, all domestic stars. But they're really famous. Sandra Middleton is one of the most famous goalkeepers on earth...

Northend: Yes, but Roanoke and then Maddie Gordon scored past her in the tie.

Pratt: Sure. It's unfortunate they couldn't double down and beyond. A result would have been lovely! If you have a look at the other major players... they aren't exactly superstars, but Saint Eleanor's played against Joao Pereyra before. He's annoying and he can change games on their own in a few circumstances. I'm not convinced this would have been one of them. Kazuo Martin and Anaximander Scales also seemed familiar names, but I can't remember from where exactly.

Northend: I think quite a few people, based on the headline billing, would call that a fair fight. Do you have any reason to believe the team wouldn't quite be at their prime heading into the away leg?

Pratt: Absolutely not. I think it comes down to the weakest links, now you mention it. We aren't that bad, however, so I can't explain what caused us to fail by so much other than simple bad fortune. We'll see whoever we face next time, mind. And please don't let us lose by four goals; Southern Star was happenstance, Brinemouth was bloody stupid coincidence.

Northend: Best of luck. You will need it!

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Independence 1975 (league fourth place; Challengers Cup)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Alice Christopher: There aren't a lot of takeaways from the Lagostim tie in the first qualifying round. They're a bit of an unknown quantity and were really hard to break down away from home, but once we got their number at our place, we cashed in an awful lot.

Northend: So you're pivoting to the second-round defeat against Galaxy SC.

Christopher: If you've spent any time in Xanneria, you'll know nobody likes Galaxy! And everybody likes us, of course. That's a bit besides the point: again, we drew away from home, fought back twice from a deficit and fancied our chances heading into the second leg.

Northend: Then what happened?

Christopher: In both legs, we faced essentially the same problem: they weren't operating a true 3-5-2. Their strikers were deep-lying attacking midfielders, although this appears to be a pattern in Xannerian football. This means when we got the ball, we either had to get it up forwards a lot or else shrivel and hope. Too often, we shriveled at home, hoping perhaps we could go to a penalty shootout and exorcise the demons of Marine Coast United in '98. This didn't happen.

Northend: How did Galaxy capitalise on Indy's conservatism?

Christopher: Through sneak attacks - just throwing much of the midfield forward and hoping that we would not effectively respond. This was a good trap because it forced us to keep the same mindset in attack and defence, when most teams flit between the two. I can't say it's the best idea I've ever seen the opposition deploy, but Austin Navarro - he of Southwest Eastnorth infamy - scored both of their goals midway through the second half. Genius gut punch; we could respond to one goal, but not two in three-and-a-half minutes.

Northend: Why not? You defeated Mâ Âlâmëómë last year.

Christopher: Yes, but Latona Basilisk is a striker, not a takilante who very, very cleverly disguises herself as a striker. Saint Eleanor has a huge shadow-striker problem - we saw this with Poafmersia in the Cup of Harmony. How long until we see it again in a big game? That's why Lydia Sharp's in charge now and why she's drilling us for every possible situation.

Northend: You just answered your own question. Good luck with Lydia.

Christopher: All of us have known her for a few years. I'm not sure we'll need it - skills are what we need in spades!

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Grand Beach (league fifth place; Challengers Cup)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Alex Martins: I suppose I have a choice of two options, do I? Union Port-la-Ville was a challenge. They're orange; we're orange. They're supported by PetroPat... we're supported by the fried chicken guy. Try picking a winner.

Northend: That isn't the metric I'd use, but they did indeed beat you - 4-2 away, but a 1-1 draw at home.

Martins: Did I mention? They have strong wingers and a capable young striker. So did we, but Rachel swanned off to Bencoolen and Sara isn't quite perfectly-trained at this!

Northend: Manager Julia Atherton has been seen as abandoning Adam Salt's more defensive approach to the game lately. Do you think that had an impact on the result?

Martins: I'd say it was a factor, but it wasn't the biggest factor. If your defence is being squashed as Union likes it, then it's going to be squashed no matter how much you take heed of it. But maybe they're just better than we are: we have Sam Newbridge and Tim Brandon, but you can't win games with just those two guys; you need everyone else. Their average player is better than our average player.

Northend: Is that all to it?

Martins: Yes. I don't normally like being this quiet about major games but I can't cut this long story short because it's already short.

Northend: Now look, I hope you return to the IFCF one day and you write something a bit longer.

Martins: I can't guarantee anything but I'll help us try!

----------

Occidental Olympic (Showcase winners; Cup Winners Cup)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Glenn French: We lost 5-0 at home to Stein-los Turkish [in the first round's second leg]. That was fucking shit, wasn't it?

Northend: If it helps, the Eagles ended up winning this year's Cup Winners' Cup final against Atletik Thessia.

French: We'd have beaten them! If [Yelto-Aflan] Ono and Rachel [Schanke] can find ways around the fucking Mytanars, I reckon our Georgie [George Dunbar] would have handed their butts to them, too.

Northend: Could you have? Occidental Olympic isn't quite of the calibre they were a few years ago.

French: Not yet. Georgie's got time. We hammered Celeritas in the preliminary round; they aren't a top team and we benefitted from errors a bit, but we also had our own creativity and our own chances. If we could have used those a bit more against Stein-los Turkish, then bam.

Northend: So you would have beaten Atletik - who Turkish played in the final - but you didn't defeat the team themselves...

French: That's right, I suppose. We can't be all serious all the time - except on the pitch, where we have to focus all the time. Did we have focus? Not as much as I'd have liked. Were they impenetrable? A bit, but it should never have been an impossible challenge. We need to dust ourselves off, prepare for the challenges we could face, and then stare them in the eye with resolve when we get the chance. Internationally and domestically!

Northend: Go tell Mr Dunbar that and bid him godspeed.

French: Obliged.

----------

Eleanorian Academy (Charles Trump Shield winners; Rising Stars Cup youth champions' path)

Is there any particular IFCF tie you'd like to talk about?

Kichirō Matsuda: When the playoff came against Fiskadaha FC, it was safe to say we were absolutely bouncing. They'd just blooded me and a couple of others into the team, we'd won both first-round games against the Guzmán-Cress Academy, I set up a couple of goals over there, and - while we were fairly evenly matched on paper - we thought we had the advantage in quite a few areas. Certainly, I'd say, enough to make a difference.

Northend: I can understand why confidence in your camp was high.

Matsuda: Yeah; we scored twice in second-leg extra time when they were visiting us and, while it was far too entertaining for even my likings, I had good fun going all over the place, setting up people - I'd say I'm more of a creative, productive midfielder than a jackhammer like Layla [Grover] is for the seniors - and making sure we didn't let anything get away. When the Poafmers came calling, however, we weren't at our best.

Northend: Why not?

Matsuda: Mistakes were made everywhere. Our defence was a bit confused and couldn't hold a constant shape. Our front line was broken down and we were lucky to half the deficit with not a lot of time left on the clock. The midfield was fractured, swarmed and couldn't really do anything. And I was sent off early in the second half; one of the Fiskadaha players hadn't been terribly good to me, so... let's just say I lashed out a bit spectacularly and got my just desserts.

Northend: Oh, my! That is quite the Eleanorian rite of passage - but with a twist I don't think I've ever seen before. As a bit of a trivia question, can you name the only person ever to be sent off in a Charles Trump Shield final?

Matsuda: Damien Young, 1983?

Northend: Close. Lots of people think that Young did get his marching orders for Parkside in that game, but the referee infamously bowed to pressure and reduced the sanction to a yellow. The correct answer is Maria Billington for Liberty in 1991, who got booked early in the second half for racking up a lot of fouls and then got herself sent off late on for a horrendous foul on Whitehammer's Jimmy Stevens. Do you want to know what the spooky coincidence is?

Matsuda: I'm always up for those.

Northend: Billington was sent off after 84 minutes and Liberty won 3-1. You were sent off after 48 minutes and the Academy lost 3-1. She's now a regular columnist on international youth football for The Gazette, which is your local newspaper...

Matsuda: Yeah.

Northend: ...and she pointed out that while you could very well become "one of the best players in the League, when he grows up," your performances against Fiskadaha "left much to be desired" and were "imperfect, although understandably so."

Matsuda: Everywhere I go, even just to fill up the car at the local petrol station, people like asking me "are you Wunderbar Quatro?" I tell them I am, but you can just call me Kichirō, that's been public knowledge for a while. I can be a bit crazy if I'm riled up, I don't get enough to eat every day and so on - but the Academy staff's taking care of me, I'm learning how to live independently, and outbursts are getting rarer and rarer. It's a shame the bottletop flew off against Fiskadaha. While I don't have a clue why I ever got called up for the Inklings, why I got there aged fifteen before I even had a club or any IFCF experience or why Indy bit on me...

Northend: They wanted to give you a home, I take it.

Matsuda: And for free! Don't know why that happened, either, but I've been enjoying school. Big fan of PE, naturally, but if we're going by the book subjects, then definitely the three sciences - and engineering! I can't really find out more about myself, but learning more about the world definitely sounds like the kind of hobby I could get into when I'm not playing.

Northend: When you're not playing! What do you think about your fellow Wunderbars being dispersed to academies in Stevencousin, Cap Nord, Atheara and the V-League?

Matsuda: Quite an eclectic mix! I'm confident that all of them are going to get the skills they need to be good players - or, indeed, good people - at their new clubs. I can't try to predict their future, but hopefully they'll have careers ahead of them. I don't think the outlook's that good for the Squidroidian FA, if I'm being honest.

Northend: Are there any teammates of yours that you thought were particularly instrumental in the Academy's three games - people who you think could be future stars?

Matsuda: Libby Freeman is the obvious one up top and I'd say she's well-set to become a full-time starter in a couple of years: she's dynamic, capable and hasn't been hanging around the squad for a decade. Rob[by] Ellis isn't exactly the best around, but he should do good enough to replace John Bailey when the time comes. The squad's been crumbling a bit in general, but there are so many other players I haven't had the time to mention here. So who knows, really?

Northend: What did they do?

Matsuda: Robby saved our bacon against the Valladars; if someone else was there, the tie would have been over long before ninety minutes in the second leg. He was keen on going wherever the ball was and reaching out without being too aggressive. Libby was the creative engine; people think Kavezalea [Felaraneta] was the link between attack and defence, but she was keen on dropping back and looking after everyone too; this team is full of well-rounded players who can do anything necessary and Libby's one of the best of us at that.

Northend: Thanks. We haven't been able to talk a lot about the IFCF, but this has been quite an interesting conversation about you - as a person and a player. Hopefully you can stake a claim to noteworthiness in the future, near or distant.

Matsuda: Perfectly understandable, and thank you for the kind words. I'll try my very best to see it through.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Mar 06, 2023 12:44 am

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2002 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Hiyashi Celestia: 2 (1999, 2000)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

INDEPENDENCE 1975 - WINNERS OF THE 2002 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 62

1. John Bailey [he/him]
2. Cathy Winchester [she/her]
3. Donald Hutchings [he/him]
4. Layla Grover [Tikariot; she/her]
5. Luke Elliott [he/him]
6. Liam West (C) [he/him]
7. David Newcastle [he/him]
8. Alice Christopher [she/her]
9. Sophie Wilton [she/her]
10. Henry Green [he/him]
11. Bobby Smith [he/him]
12. Dan Davis [he/him]
13. Joshua Tanner [he/him]
14. Lucia McCaul [she/her]
15. Jon Harp [he/him]
16. Trevor Marley [he/him]
17. Richard Dale [he/him]
18. Keira Monaghan [she/her]

Manager: Lydia Sharp [she/her]

RESULTS OF THE 2002 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team) 0–1 Grand Beach
Golden Unicorn 1–0 Premier CS (independent CTS team)
Occidental Olympic 2–0 Newbanks United
Good Hope Club 2–2 Sword and Shield (2–3 AET)
Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 0–4 Independence 1975
Juventud 2–1 Army and Navy
Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team) 1–1 Nova Aegis (3–2 AET)

Quarterfinals
Occidental Olympic 3–1 Grand Beach
Hiyashi Celestia 0–1 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 4–3 Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team)
Juventud 3–6 Sword and Shield

Semifinals
Sword and Shield 1–2 Independence 1975
Occidental Olympic 1–1 Golden Unicorn (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)

THE FINAL
Independence 1975 1–0 Occidental Olympic

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

The Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony
presented each year by the University's Football Society
The FootSoc president is Chris Matheson (2nd year; biology)

Best Player: Cathy Winchester (Independence 1975)
It would have been so easy to make the obvious choice here... which is why we made the fourth-most-obvious choice. More guessing's involved that way. Cathy was absolutely spectacular most of the time and pretty damn splendid the other... I dunno, 7%, cleaning up approximately every single loose ball she bumped into, getting to tackles with hardly any scratches at all, moving to the ball to anyone else in a vaguely dark blue shirt without anybody panicking, and being Cathy Winchester. All of this is, to my awareness, extremely commendable! Especially when a single mistake could cost you a game... not to fret, she wasn't responsible for the one goal against in four games either.

Worst Player: Robert Simons (Boys Preparatory)
Dear, oh dear, oh dear. As bad goes - especially for school teams - it should not get worse than this. Bob over here got off to an absolute flyer just five minutes into the match, when he decided to focus so much on keeping the ball that he didn't even realise Sophie Wilton was there to snatch it off him. He strengthened his credentials on the stroke of halftime, as he almost rugby-tackled her to the ground, earning him a caution and handing them a very productive free kick. He followed up by attempting a backpass that would have been completed had Alice Christopher not graciously decided to hit it miles over the bar by accident. And throughout it all, he was absent, wandering and seemingly incapable of noticing where the ball had gone half of the time, which means he should not be considering football as a career. Unlike fellow centreback Patrick Mitchell, he didn't even have the excuse of "I subjected Richard Dale to a horrendous tackle so I had to take the last thirty minutes out."

Most Enthusiastic Fan: Dan Trott from Wellington
There are Good Hope fans and then there are members of the Good Hope Supporters' Trust... and I was this close to kidding. Big Dan, who has been vocal in his beliefs that GHST was taken over by radicals and geeks so long ago that it was probably founded by them, made noise from five hours before the beginning of the match - with nothing more than a clapperboard, an explicit cardboard sign about our next nominee and a lot of shouting - until the police told him off for shouting too much... with the same equipment. That is a lot of time! He did not, however, chant about club politics. Either he's above that or thinks it's a distraction; you never know with these folk.

Greatest Beneficiary of Nepotism: Sylvia Hollenberg (Sword and Shield)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Nice try.

Brightest Idea: Steve Pilchard (Occidental Olympic) floating that free kick in against Grand Beach
That's Bridget's job, isn't it? Right down to the victims! (No, it's not, Chris. She's with Latrobe now. God bless her. -Mazza) (That was a fucking joke, mate - Chris) With about twenty minutes left on the clock and Grand Beach pretending that their manager was Adam Salt and not Julia Atherton, they gave away one of the top two hundred silliest free kicks I have ever seen, which is still a bit silly. With Sir Pilchard on setpiece duty 25 yards out and the box absolutely packed, he could have done what anyone not called Bridget Coombe would and float it to one of them. What he did instead was float it... to nowhere. It just hovered for a few seconds above everyone, and everything, except maybe the goal. By the time Gavin Parson noticed, it was so late that he probably didn't care - and the job was wrapped up a few minutes later.

Most Chaotic Moment: David Lenham (Nova Aegis) "enjoying" his final five against Whitehammer CS
Imagine: you're the team's leading scorer, the team happens to be 3-1 down and you're in a crunch cup first-round tie with a handful of minutes of extra time remaining - and you've played the entire match. What would you do? Some mortals would nag and pester to be escorted from the field as soon as possible... looking at you, mid-nineties George Guest. David Lenham, heroically, did not. To start off, he exploited... the fact that Community School teams are not the best defensive organisers in the world to pick up a pass from Stephen Jones, just run straight at the goal and score. He wasn't done yet, however, because it took just a handful of moments for Whitehammer defender Tracy Shilling to clear a ball he accidentally dribbled too far with, causing him to stand up to her and earn himself a booking. Still not to be outdone, the next chance he had the ball, he forced Shilling into a yellow-worthy tackle of her own, cooking up a free kick that Amelia Lane gloriously directed to about two inches wide of the post.

Calmest Under Pressure: Graham Lawson (Athletic Saint Eleanor)
The idea behind taking the decisive tenth penalty in a shootout is so easy: you just hit it somewhere. Most takers have rituals; some end up getting very, very distracted. Not Graham. Having set the ball on the spot, he took a few steps back, presumably took a few breaths in and out, and then - cool as you like - proceeded to slot the ball into the face of some poor fucker in the stands at the Celestial. Yes, our runner-up for the award is none other than 18-year-old Brianna Austen, who was attending the match with a friend when she got Graham Lawsoned and will no doubt look very silly when she joins us at the University next month to read... archaeology. I know a posh kid when I see one. You can tell it was a very carefully-planned shot, though. Props, mate.

Biggest Disappointment: The second semifinal
Semifinal one, a clash between new and old titans, was all over the place: it had three allowed goals, a disallowed goal, a missed penalty, several arguments, and so much more besides I'll have to run an entirely separate awards ceremony for it. So what, then, did part two have in stock? What could the little-heralded up-and-comers of Olympic and the Unicorn deliver on this seemingly fabulous day? ...nothing much. There were two goals in the first half, none for two hours after that and a penalty shootout that a cow could have predicted. PS: You didn't even need to give the cow different bowls of feed. It'ld have just concluded a generic 5-4. The fact that the final followed the same track almost got it the crown - but that was to be expected, so no bonanza.

Most Obvious Rule: Do not spread pandemics to other teams or destroy host infrastructure when you are playing in a Baptism of Fire or Cup of Harmony
This one is too meta and the winning entry doesn't even have anything to do with the Showcase, which is better than either of those weird international things. Tell the next president of FootSoc they aren't doing this award category.

Fallon D'Floor: Sara Halbrook (Grand Beach)
Did you think we Eleanorians were above diving? To be quite honest, yes, we are! What our test subject discovered in The Quadrangle was that yes, despite popular opinion and the fact every other person in Eleanorian football avoid it, it is still possible for an Eleanorian footballer to forget to wear the correct pair of studs to a game. Having been brought on for Patrick Budd with about 35 minutes to go, her first act was to slip almost immediately, causing mild levels of hilarity. Her second act was not to get a change of boots, contrary to popular explanation, but it would have helped her avoid looking like an idiot at least twice in that timespan.

Updates from the Saint Eleanor League

Updates from the Saint Eleanor League

SEL 1996 - full table + a couple of roleplays too

SEL 1997 - full table + only roleplay I bothered to write

Charles Trump Shield 1998: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 1998 - preview

SEL 1998 - Rounds 1-6

SEL 1998 - Rounds 7-12

SEL 1998 - Rounds 13-18

SEL 1998 - compendium

Charles Trump Shield 1999: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 1999 - preview

SEL 1999 - season review

The 1999 Showcase

Arielle Richardson's Diary

Charles Trump Shield 2000: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2000 - full accounting

IFCF 2000 [11] - performance of Eleanorian clubs

The 2000 Showcase

Charles Trump Shield 2001: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2001 - full accounting

The 2001 Showcase

Charles Trump Shield 2002: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2002 - full accounting

IFCF 2002 [13] - performance of Eleanorian clubs

The 2002 Showcase

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