Copa Rushmori 44 - Everything Thread

[Graintfjall]

Græntfjall – 5 (3)
Ásólfur; Hermione, Friðjón (66’ Nýbjörg Elbergsdóttir ), Asbjørn, París; Rebekka (70’ Kristófer ), Lotte (66’ Sarína ), Kæja (c) (29’), Sara V; Amandara (43’) (45’ Tóbías (68’)), Járngrímur (32’) (78’ Benjamín (81’))

Nyowani Kitara– 3
How could Nafuna do this ×3

---

Gatchingerrak Union – 4 (1)
McGrath (23’, 61’), Nam (72’), Kjaer (80’)

Græntfjall – 6 (3)
Ásólfur; Harmony (62’) (64’ Sigurbergur ), Glóa, Asbjørn, París (11’); Rebekka (37’) (75’ Lotte (79’)), Danny (88’ Kristmar ), Kæja (c), Sara V (66’) (88’ Varða ); Amandara (47’) (75’ Tóbías (90+4’)), Benjamín

Do not attempt to publish or disseminate written or printed materials

This weekend’s Háttmark Harbinger carried the two greatest match reports ever written.

Reflecting the improbable scorelines – 18 goals spread across 180 minutes of football – the reports were truly the zenith of sports reporting. They described in exacting detail how Thor’s aggressive tactics had opened up scoring opportunities for the Snow Wolves against their Pavolan rivals in Nyowani Kitara. The imagery written about each of the five goals that each of the strikers slotted home after captain Kæja had opened the scoring was so vivid, readers could picture themselves right there in Chumeichang, could relive every deft pass, every clever feint, every brutal shove, that led up to each and every one of those triumphant moments.

And in the reporting, also come to understand the mounting questions about how this open style of play was putting a strain on the Snow Wolves’ once vaunted defense, now increasingly fragile late in the game, allowing their opponents opportunities to strike back. Sure, Thor’s charges were amassing goals, but, they were barely staying ahead of even comparatively low ranked opponents like Gatchingerrak Union, the reader would learn with increasing concern as the clear and precise prose of the Harbinger’s peerless reporting made plain. Friðjón Manfreðsson had impressed in Mytanija, the match reports argued, but was he being overstretched here? The answer seemingly not, because Glóa Karvelsdóttir, highly regarded in Savojarna, didn’t offer much better when called up in his place, the reports painting a painstaking yet accessible portrait of the minute failings in the marking system that twice allowed Gatchin centerback Mary McGrath to ghost in for an unmarked header.

Not, dear reader, that the reports were merely work of dry analytics. Even those with little interest in football or no depthful initiation into the dark arts of tactics and systems, even those reading to pass time on a journey without a care for the consequences of those two wins for the Snow Wolves’ group stage campaign or a flicker of interest in a tournament taking place indescrible km away, would be enlivened by the prose, rich and humorous without being overstuffed and pretentious. Anecdotes that would produce tears of laughter without reduction to bawdy farce, emotive pleas that would crack the stoniest heart without ever being accused of mawkish sentimentality, in every sentence the objective correlative at work in a way that would appeal to readers from children and new language learners to professors of literature and professional prose stylists.

They were surely the absolute, greatest, most fantastically perfect match reports ever written.

It’s just a shame we can’t reprint them here in Naixi. But maybe you can take our word for it?

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

CAPTINA NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
OFFICE OF SECURITY OPERATIONS

THE FOLLOWING COMMUNICATION ATTRIBUTED TO THE CAPTINA COMPANY PRESS AGENCY IS A FALSE NEWS ITEM.
INVESTIGATION HAS MADE CLEAR THAT THE ATLANTIAN OCEANIA NATION OF BAKER PARK IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS REPORT, BUT ENQUIRIES CONTINUE AS TO THE CULPRIT(S).

Captina on the verge of breakthrough?

(TCCPA) Yafei, Naixi--The Captina Company Football Team earned their first win in Copa Rushmori 44 against Olastor 3-2, pushing the side into the middle of the group table, setting up a run matches that could propel the Rosso e Oro through to the knockout stage for the first time.

Despite a 3-0 loss to second seeded Sargossa on matchday four, Captina sit in 5th out of ten teams with matches against Thibaea, Schutzenphalia & West Ruhntuhnkuhnland and Stvoto Latoliup next in order before a final run through the gauntlet against Astograth and The Prosaic Union (usually referred to as Gneis) to close things out.

Patience Wedgewood leads the squad in scoring having scored half of Captina's six CR tallies, with Guiseppi Overstreet, Marcella Lilywhite and Barnabas Morningstar having the other three.

Overall the squad have maintained the growing confidence that marked the end of World Cup 94 qualifying as the NT adjusted to the first ever mixed gender roster; the boss has held over the entire player pool from the previous competition to develop more team chemistry.

It has already been announced by TCCFA that national team players will not be exempt from the next two years of summer military service as they were for WCQ 94, meaning that Captina will not participate in World Cup 95, so the end of CR44 will be the finale for some of the older players on the roster.

Yarborough was asked to comment on how the ban on alcohol, tobacco and soft drugs in Naixi was affecting TCCFANT overall.
“Not even an issue. We don't have any of those things permitted in camp in the first place and of course we are not an indulgent society overall. We respect the hosts' limitations as we would expect them to respect ours in a similar circumstance.”

[Polar Islandstates]

SOUR CHERRIES
Part iii
A demagogue, performing as he knows only how
i - ii - iii - iiii - v - vi - vii.a) - vii.b) - vii.c) - vii.d) - vii.e) - vii.f) - vii.g) - viii
Volume Two
** ** ** ** **

The hall looked incredible, as per his instructions.

Traditionally, the colours of The Party had been purple and gold, and with their annual conference being held in Koppen-Torshavn this year, the whole twin-city was awash with banners, ribbons, and posters advertising the events that would be held across both cities, somewhat eclipsing the usual greens, whites, reds, and greys that usually indicated which football team’s territory you’d strayed into. The whole city-region was awash with activity and fringe events, colour-coded to increase footfall, and even the airport hotels had re-dressed their foyers with bouquets of purple and yellow flowers, just in case.

As the largest venue available in either Koppen or Torshavn short of a football stadium, Viga Hall was playing host to the biggest events, and they didn’t come any bigger than the keynote speech from Secretary General Orion Lund. Sitting in the centre of Torshavn’s Viga Conference Centre, it was festooned in purples from all angles of approach. Galvanised metal street furniture and fittings had all been replaced or sprayed with golden equivalents, and everywhere you looked there were people in suits adorned with golden or purple lacquered lapel pins that indicated years of membership, service, or True Valhallan status. The carpet in the foyer had even been re-laid in anticipation of the conference, so much so that delegates invariably had to spend much of their down time discreetly removing the shed violet fibres that were clinging statically to their footwear.

At the request of Lund himself however, the chamber itself was mostly decorated with an entirely different colour scheme.

Out went the purples and golds, save for the most subtle and tasteful accents and highlights, and in came a festival of Polarian pride. Swathes of complementary greens in subtly different tones, the deepest and most vivid of navy blues, and crisp, clear whites were garlanded from the balconies and tiers, and the blue uplighting worked perfectly against the green accents and bright spotlights.

Nobody really questioned it, obviously; what the Secretary General wants, the Secretary General gets, by and large, but it did raise some eyebrows. Purple and gold had been deliberately chosen by Lund all those years ago entirely because they had nothing to do with the colours of the Federation. It was supposed to be a fresh start. A show of strength that contrasted deliberately with the weakness shown by the Iversen-Eklund regime. ‘This could be different’, it seemed to say. And it was. And it had been. But times were changing, and Lund knew he had to move forward and take control of the narrative. There was every chance still that things could evaporate from underneath him. He’d gotten old when he wasn’t looking, and it was time to grab the bull by the horns before it was too late.

He glimpsed at the crowd from the wings and could see some shuffling in seats. Were they nervous? Good. He hoped so. If there was one thing he’d learned in his rise to power, it’s that you should always keep your opponents guessing and never surrender the initiative. If there was another, it was that the same thing went for those that supported you too. The fear of looking stupid in front of someone you admired or wanted to impress was a strong impulse, and this wouldn’t be the first or last time Lund exploited that instinct in his followers to just nod and say ‘yes’.

He glanced at his watch. There were still a couple of minutes until he was due to go on, and people were still filing in from the back of the hall. He smirked to himself and set off walking. Time to seize the initiative.

As he strode out purposefully, the crowd didn’t realise at first what was happening. The scrambling sound technician initially didn’t play anything, then played the right music but too quietly, then extremely loudly before fading back to the volume it should have been in the first place. A trickle of applause worked its way around the seats at the front, and then caught the attention of those at the back who had been idly scrolling on their phones or sifting through the literature. As more and more attendees realised what was going on, the applause grew and grew, filling the arena with a thunderous cascade of noise.

Lund smiled and waved as he walked, pausing along the way to pick out a few people he’d never seen before in his life to wave fondly at them, not so much to make their day but to make the people who he did more slightly more eager to please him next time they saw him. Reaching the podium emblazoned with its “Å”, the symbol of The Party, he allowed the applause and cheering to crescendo for a second before waving his arms in a placating gesture. The noise died down, the last few seats were hurriedly taken, and he smiled warmly at the assembly before him. The lights went up on the autocues, the red lights on the television cameras were illuminated, and Lund turned the sparkle on in his eyes just as readily.

"There is a reason, my friends, why all compasses point north.” he began, his booming bass of a voice ringing and reverberating around the room. It may not have been as strong as it once was, but age had deepened it yet further, and he was almost giddy at the response this first line received.

“Like compasses, the people of Rushmore have also seen their gaze drawn northwards. Watching, observing, and yes, fearing. For this is a land of ice. A sea of wind. Fierce weather and ever fiercer peoples are thrown at you the further you travel north. It is an idea. A target. The north is not a destination, my friends, The North is a purpose. We are absolute, total, and ultimate. The end goal. The aim. A land to be explored, tamed, and conquered.

“Except nobody ever could. Nobody except us, my friends. Nobody except us.”

He looked around the room. Thousands of people were hanging on his words. Thousands more were mostly hanging on his words but also keeping half an eye on their phones, where the last fifteen minutes of the Terns’ game against Glazgo was playing out. He didn’t really care how it was going, anymore. The right people had the right instructions, and what would be would be in that respect. What he cared about was how many people were paying attention to him. Using sport as a distraction had worked so far, and if this effect was replicated across the rest of the nation, then he would be happy. The right people would hear him. The wrong people wouldn’t notice him.

“And yet, we were squandering that opportunity. A weak, insipid series of governments allowed these great states of ours to dwindle and waste away. Initiatives were lost, land was lost, and power was eking away into the mists.

“When I saw what happened in Agheim and East Külmsaar, I knew I had to do something about it...” he paused there, and was pleased to see some faces pulled into expressions of guilt and sympathy; his grandfather’s real legacy, “...and so I started what we now know as The Party.

“I didn’t set out to rise to power,” which was a lie, but a lie repeated so often he almost believed it himself these days, “but it turned out that you, my friends, saw the same issues with the nation as I did. We rocked the establishment, became a political power, and forced those in power to take notice. And yet, take notice they did not.”

Some were shaking their heads at his. He smiled inwardly, making sure to keep his outward appearance grave and serious.

“In time, with a foothold in every state, we asked ourselves who we really wanted to be. If we were to reach out and take the power that the people wanted us to have, what sort of nation would be we? We rebranded, became ‘Åskskur’, and I asked you to do just that. Not one thunderstorm that focused on the capital, no. We could have taken power in any individual state we chose to concentrate our resources on. No, instead, we reached out and became a grass-roots movement. You, the people of Valhalla did this! You created not one thunderstorm, but hundreds of thunder showers. The åskskur of Åskskur. And it worked. When the establishment finally realised what the people were saying, it was too late. You put me here, my friends, and I humbly thank you once again for placing your trust in me to lead this nation. I can assure you, my hunger to see the Federation be the best it can be has never been bigger.”

A smattering of early applause greeted this statement. That interested him. He wasn’t aware that his desire to remain in power had ever been in question. Or, no, that wasn’t fair. He wasn’t aware that his passion to lead the country had ever been in question. Much better. Still, he was glad to see relief on the faces of those applauding, rather than fear on those who weren’t.

“And so, we put our plan to restore the Federation into action. For decades, we retreated into our icy chrysalis, and we tended to our own needs. Rushmore could get along without us. It was time to put things right domestically, and those changes took time. Time you entrusted us with, and a trust I hope we have repaid to you in time. For now, we emerge stronger of will, a stronger Federation, and a stronger people.”

‘And a stronger Party’, Lund thought to himself, thinking of all the other work his politicians were doing during that time. And yet, it hadn’t been quick enough or powerful enough, or else he wouldn’t be making this speech at this time.

“And so, the time was right to open up. No man is an island, and no islands can be great by themselves. It was time to defrost these borders and let the Multiverse see what had become of their revered people of the north. We had new things to teach them, and they in turn had things to teach us. We encouraged trade, trade arrived and made people on both sides rich, and now we can see the nation is awash with the buzz that once again, thanks to The Party, Polarians will be able to move, work, and live abroad!”

‘And foreigners will be able to come and spend their money here’, he finished again in his head. The labour laws loosening up was a distraction, sure, but he wondered if the wider picture of the Polarian economy was as known as he sometimes feared. Foreign investment would be welcome, truth be told. For many reasons, however, it was best not to appear desperate.

“And so, Rushmore has witnessed this unveiling with great interest, and met our people with great wonder. My friends, they are queueing up to work with our best and brightest. We are new, we are exciting, and we are what Rushmore needs!

“They cannot get enough of what lies beyond the top of their maps. We are that. We are their beyond. It is time to embrace that, exploit it. Seize the initiative, my friends. Rushmore is there for the taking. When I asked you to trust me to make Valhalla strong again, this is exactly what I had in mind! We can be the dominant power in the region. Valhalla, my friends, is rising!”

He paused there to encourage applause, but he needn’t have bothered. It was coming whether or not he paused, and he smiled and soaked it up. Cameras flashed, a few people cheered. He calmed them again.

“But, we cannot do it alone,” he continued, with a serious tone, “not individually. Our great-great-grandparents knew that when they founded the Valhallan Union and brought these islands and joined hands across the seas, and equally our grandfathers understood it when they forged ever closer ties and forged the Federation from those nations in the Union that wanted ever-closer ties.

“And that Federation grew strong. It eclipsed the other nations in the Union, and more nations were soon queueing up to become states. Because there is strength is a union, my friends, never forget that. Individually, our states would get chewed up and spat out by Rushmore. We would be minnows. But as a shoal, as one closed fist, hammering away at the top of the globe, we can be something else entirely. And we will need to be, if we are to become the Valhalla I know we can be.”

He hoped at this point that the national colours being in the staging would be starting to work subliminally on the people watching. ‘Unity’ was going to be the message, even if the reality was something else.

“These states of ours, our peoples... we have to stick together. It will be crucial, so crucial, in these next few years that we get serious about working together before we work abroad. Ever-stronger, ever-closer, ever-together.

“The fact this conference is in Koppen-Torshavn is no accident, my friends,” continued Lund, addressing the hall rather more earnestly than the cameras now, “these two cities were rivals once, but when you started working together, seeing the strength in your collective positions and working towards a common goal, you became unstoppable. Today, Koppen-Torshavn is not just the largest conurbation and capital city of Farosea, but it is also the biggest financial, military, and industrial base in the western states!”

There was a round of applause at this. Lund knew there would be. People loved to applaud things they felt they could claim as their own doing, especially when it had been nothing to do with them personally. It was one of his favourite things about voters. Getting them to applaud the piss he was telling them was rain, now that was the trick.

“Some argued it would lead to an erosion of your differing cultures, but to those opposition voices I would say just go to the next derby at Taugen Park!”

There was a laugh at this. He hadn’t understood it when the speech writers put it in front of him initially, but he had to hand it to them: they’d judged it right.

“But my point is, when we work together, when we join up, we can achieve great things. When we are not distracted by petty squabbles between states, we can achieve our goals together. We can put aside our differences. We can. Are the people in Kuril so different from those in Aleutia? Are those in Northbrook so different from those in Terra Scotia? Are the city dwellers of the capital all that different from the fishing villages on the distant frozen reefs? I don’t think so, my friends, I don’t think so.

“This coming year, I put it to you as my challenge that we need to see more national flags and fewer state ones. Our states are important, yes, but they are only half of the story. We are one nation, and we will be a bigger, stronger, and more successful force if we act like one. Not eighteen different voices, but one. We need now to take our little thunder showers and unite. More to the point,” he added with a sly grin, “we ordered thousands of flags when we changed it and there’s a stock surplus you wouldn’t believe in a warehouse outside Resolute...”

Another laugh. They were eating out of his hand at this point, matching his serious passages with their stoicism, being visibly stirred as he got patriotic, and punctuating his punchlines with laughter.”

“In time, I would like us also to extend our hands across to our compatriots in Marylebone, Scheveningen, Karbijnhavn, Mið-Sal, and Agheim. The strength that the Federation sees now and in the future can be shared whole-heartedly with the rest of The Valhallan Union. Different nations we may be, but we are all Valhallans, and we can all benefit from this closer cooperation. The fewer barriers the better, and I will campaign to bring the Union ever, ever, closer.”

He wondered, not for the first time, what the politicians of the other nations in The Valhallan Union would think of that last paragraph when they heard it. A shot across the bow, but a calculated one, designed to miss by just the right amount. He would deal with Minor Valhalla at a later date, of course. First things first and all that, and so he put his serious face back on for the next few paragraphs...

“My friends, the next time we go to the polls I will ask you to back my vision. We will stand for a stronger outlook, a stronger Federation, and a stronger Valhalla. But I need your help to do that. I need you to stand by your fellow Polarian, your fellow Valhallan, and tell them that you support them. Support me, together, and we can do away with distractions. So long have we been in power now that just one last call for us to remain at the helm of our nation will be enough for us to listen. The longer we delay, arguing amongst ourselves, the longer we postpone our time in the throne that is there for the taking. Why waste time discussing it when we can just take it?”

And there it was, hidden away. Tucked in. The real end goal. Perfectly aligned, by the looks of the squirming on the first row of the upper tiers, with a chance that either went for or against the Terns in Naixi. How fortuitous. The irony of using a lack of distractions as an argument for getting the people to vote away their right to vote whilst they were distracted by something he’d engineered was almost too delicious. The trick was going to be getting them to do it before the necessary ‘distractions’ of open borders because too much of a distraction. Once he had that vote and had boosted the economy, he could do what he wanted. And that’s when the real fun would start...

“Unite, my friends. Unite behind me. Trust in me to be your leader once more, and I will not let you down. With one voice, you can choose me, and with one voice your voice, I will put your will into action.

“We can be a nation that emerges from the seas of the north once again, in more ways than one. We can be a true power with the true force of True Valhallans pushing behind me. We can be so much more than we are, and the wider region knows it as well as we do. They want us, yes. They need us, yes. And they can’t take their eyes off us.”

Accelerating towards the end now, with audience members leaning forwards on his every word, Lund spoke louder and higher as he reached the climax.

“If Rushmore wants to cast their eyes north, then let them. Let them fear this land of ice, this source of folklore, this home of people with an internal flame that they cannot comprehend... and then let them respect us. Let them see what Valhalla can be: A place to work; a place to do business; a place to exchange ideas with the best that the Multiverse has to offer. But most of all, let them see us for what we are: a people that know what we want.

“These can be our times, my friends. This can be our future. All we have to do... all we have to do...” he pushed his arms in front of him at this line, clutching at the air in front of him, “is reach out. Reach out, and take it. When we are one nation, we are strong. A collective fist with a collective voice, all united behind one leadership. Let me be that leader. Let us cast aside our differences, speak as one, and seize that future, my friends.

“If we work together, and you back me at the next election, then I can promise you that I will work towards a Valhalla that is stronger, greater, and more powerful and influential than ever before! When I’m finished, Rushmore won’t need to tell stories of monsters from the north in days of old, because we’ll be right there in the present. They won’t be able to idly imagine tackling our remote landscapes, because we’ll already be in theirs, shaking hands and breaking down barriers.

And nobody, nobody, will need a compass to find north anymore: they’ll simply have to listen to the Valhallans roar!”

He accompanied this, his closing paragraph, with a raise of his arms and an upwards cadence, but he didn’t need to. The plants in the audience were even beaten by the speed with which some of the most ardent supporters in the audience leapt to their feet in applause.

It was deafening. Endless rolls of applause echoed around the arena. For a second, Lund thought that the sound technician had botched the end of the speech as well as the beginning, for he couldn’t hear any of the closing music at first. But no, it was there, just drowned out by the applause.

He smiled, waved, stepped out from behind the podium and the autocues, and took in the adulation as streamers and confetti rained down on him from above. If this was repeated across the country, then next year was going to be a walk in the park. The future was there for the taking alright, but it wasn’t Valhalla’s; it was Lund’s.

** ** ** ** **
Volume Two
i - ii - iii - iiii - v - vi - vii.a) - vii.b) - vii.c) - vii.d) - vii.e) - vii.f) - vii.g) - viii

[Astograth]

“So are we out?”

Her teammates wiped their brows of dirt-infused sweat.

“Not mathematically out,” said Elizabe, looking into the distance.

“But being realistic,” said Gerrikabeitia with a grimace, “it’s not looking great.”

They hid from the noon under a large parasol to the side of the training ground, sipping isotonic drinks of incongruous colours. The mood was not high after losing three of four matches at the Copa Rushmori, second from bottom of the table.

“At least the guys are doing well at the Brevity Cup,” suggested Bermichea.

Elizabe blew through his nose in mild amusement. They hadn’t bothered to see those – the time zone issues were a mess – but reportedly the B team were on the brink of making the Round of 16. They couldn’t call it the B team out of politeness for their friends and teammates, but it was the B team.

“We’re not out,” sentenced Hurko Germain. His confidence hung in the air, suspended with the dust that seemed to pervade Fuzaidai.

Bermichea kept quiet, letting the team’s de facto captain raise spirits as best he figured. She, left-back Zeruko Eztanga, and centre-back Azeari Iturria made up the ‘BMR crew’ on the national team – one of the newer contingents. They’d taken to hanging out with the more senior ‘Mytanars’, who were also mostly defenders: Uhin Elizabe from 1896 Ebor, Bakar Gerrikabeitia from Pretia Prizren, national team vice-captain Germain of Liria Prizren, and sometimes striker Nahia Legarra of Ararat Severyan. The latter could presently be found elsewhere doing keepie-uppies with Tomofumi Ishimoda.

At the far end of the training ground, Bermichea spotted the team’s press officer, Basandre Mailhos, open the fence and lead a handful of photographers onto the side of the pitch so they could take pictures of the team at rest. Bermichea looked away to act natural, lest she be captured scowling into one of their oversized lenses. She turned to Iturria, who kept his gaze fixed on the far side of the ground.

“Where d’you think they’re from?” he asked, nodding up toward the newcomers.

“Here. Naixi,” spoke up Germain.

Elizabe raised an eyebrow. “Just from how they look, bro?”

The vice-captain shook his head, annoyed. “They’re taking pictures of Li over there,” he said, and made a subtle motion of his hand.

Turning around, Bermichea could see the oversized lenses were indeed not pointed at them or any other group of players, but at the awning under which manager Xiao Cheng Li was drinking tea with centre-back Hecharri and playmaker Zumalakarregi. The two Sporting Iturributa players had evident managerial ambitions of their own and had been taking any chance to pick the brain of Naixi’s greatest coach.

“Ah, she’s loving it, isn’t she?” said Gerrikabeitia. “Lapping it up. The prodigal daughter returned to Naixi, while we just keep lo-“

“She’s 75, Bakar.” said Elizabe, cutting him off, “let her enjoy a little limelight. Doesn’t have to be all about us.”

“All about us? All about the team. The team. And we keep losing, and we keep getting blamed for it,” Gerrikabeitia’s voice rose, “so where are the solutions? She shuffles some pieces around, we train, we lose… every time.” The left-back reclined in his chair. “We’re practically out of this one, guys, and we keep doing this we’re out for sure.”

“We are not out,” sentenced Germain, and made sure to make eye contact with each player around the round table. “We’re not out. We’re only out if we get into this defeatist attitude. You think Muhaburu’s generation had it any easier? No, they had attitude, and they got to finals and semifinals with it.”

Where was Muhaburu, Bermichea asked herself. The captain had made himself scarce lately and could rarely be found around the squad outside of training or matches. The ‘joke’ among the players was that the lack of available alcohol was wreaking havoc on his body, but he had seemed normal to Bermichea on the pitch and when they’d spoken more closely. Maybe ‘normal’ was the problem – he had played just fine in their last few matches, rather than his usual brilliance that made clear he was carved from a different wood than the rest of his teammates.

“We play Elmyia next,” Germain continued, “we saw the videos, we saw the matches. We know they’re tough at the back and they have trouble getting forward this tournament, despite the fact they play quite recklessly. We’ve trained for that, we’ve prepared for that, we know how to exploit it. We stay focused and do as we’re told, especially the six of us here. We are the last line, we hold that line to 90 plus however many minutes.

Then after we beat Elmyia, we play Sargossa,” and at this Germain broke a smile. “Do I need to say more? Lads, it’s Sargossa.”

That provoked some chuckles. Everyone knew about Astograth’s unbeaten streak against Sargossa, including a Copa Rushmori final, now tarnished by a single defeat in their last meeting.

“What is the one thing we don’t do against Sargossa?” asked Germain. “Bakar?”

“Lose,” said Gerrikabeitia.

“What is the one thing we don’t do against Sargossa, Bakar? Louder please.”

“Lose!” replied the left-back.

“What is the one thing we don’t do against Sargossa, Bakar! What is the one thing! I want to hear you say it, Bakar!”

“LOSE! WE DO NOT LOSE!” yelled Gerrikabeitia, rising to within inches of Hurko Germain’s face. Bermichea saw, out of the corner of her eye, the photographers rotate their cameras toward them.

“We do not lose to Sargossa,” said Germain, clapping a hand on Gerrikabeitia’s shoulder. “And if you’re out there, I want to see you make sure of it.”

[Eura]

COPA RUSHMORI 44 – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 3
Yuezhou 3–3 Eura
Scorers:
Archer 24, Barnes 64, 68
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason (sub Mills 45)
4. J Menard
5. Q Phillips
3. M Taylor (sub Sharp 79)
6. J Gates (sub Brown 66)
8. O Vincent
11. O James (sub Barnes 45)
7. A Woodman (sub Roberts 45)
10. S Singh
14. K Archer

COPA RUSHMORI 44 – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 4
Eura 5–1 Norrhem
Scorers:
West 37, Holden 52, 80 (pen), Malone 59, Sharp 63
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
21. K Mills
27. M Pearce
25. M Hart (sub Gates 88)
23. I Doherty
24. T Matthews
28. F Brown (sub Coates 78)
16. B Malone (sub Guta 83)
18. B West (sub Roberts 65)
9. A Sharp (sub Bedford 78)
26. O Holden

---

thespartan.eur/sport
THE SPARTAN FOOTBALL COLUMN: BARNES-TORMER!
We’ve copied that pun from an article about the last election, and we’re not afraid to admit it

Dean Barnes has spent much of his early Eura career struggling to hit the side of a barn door. Barring a backward step in form, those days seem to be over, as barmy Barnes seems to have resolved his goalscoring struggles with a barnstorming performance against Yuezhou. Barnes. Barn. Brahms. Bahn? Yaaarn.

We may be struggling to get our wordplay right here at the Spartan, but there can be no doubt that Barnes has come of age as an international after his quickfire double saved the day in Eura’s third game of the Copa, facing down the always capable Dragons. Elaine Ashdown’s team took an early lead against the same Euran lineup that beat Savojarna in their first game, Liang Wei bagging a typical target man’s goal, thundering a header past a sprawling Tom Hammond after a well worked corner routine. The aerial dominance Eura possessed against the Northlights would this time be replaced by a marked inferiority in the air.

Fortunately, the Dragons had their own defensive issues and they quickly gifted Eura an equaliser when Li Jianguo – usually so reliable on the ball – misplaced a pass straight to the feet of Sophie Singh. It was one Chromatik league player handing a freebie to another, and within seconds Singh had laid it off for Kate Archer, another to call Chromatika home, to slam home an equaliser from just outside the area. A brief VAR review against Owen James threatened to scrub out the goal, but he was adjudged to not have been interfering with the ball as it passed by him and under goalkeeper Zhao Deliang.

It was an end to end first half and soon Yuezhou would lead again. It was another Liang Wei route one special, except this time he controlled the ball from a long throw in, chesting it down and wrapping his feet around it, before skilfully backheeling to an onrushing Luo Nanwei to finish. To Eura’s shock and amazement, Yuezhou would then find themselves up by two, albeit in controversial circumstances. In first half stoppage time Jermaine Gates was hauled off the ball by Brynjólfur Zhenyasson Zhang just inside Eura’s half. The relentless Zhang had been harassing Gates all game, and the Eurans felt this went too far, appealing for a free kick vociferously.

The referee saw things differently. She waved play on, and play on Yuezhou did, surging forward with six against four. A botched lay off from Zhang almost wasted the chance, but after a bit of ping pong around the box the ball somehow ended up back at his feet and he made no mistake from 8 yards. Eura and Yuezhou share a friendly relationship in world affairs and (usually) on the football pitch as well. Yet there was a palpable tension in the air at half time. Yuezhou couldn’t believe how well the first half had gone. Eura couldn’t believe the third goal had counted; Zhang’s club teammate Archer exchanged heated words with Ashdown and Zhang as the two teams left the field, storming off after receiving an apologetic shrug from both.

Euran manager Glen Merson correctly identified the need for a major overhaul at half time. A poor day at the office for Ana Mason on the right flank was an opportunity for Kingsley Mills to get on the pitch and stake a claim for his place, fresh off having scored his first international goal against Aerágny. In midfield, a very quiet Adam Woodman was pulled out for Trent Roberts, and of course Barnes got onto the pitch in place of the underwhelming James. Barnes almost made an impact immediately, taking an opportunistic pop at goal on the volley after Deliang accidentally found him with a quick throw, only narrowly clearing the crossbar.

Yuezhou seemed a little unsure of themselves after half time, and perhaps sought to manage the game and defend their lead too early, when they might have had more joy pursuing a killer fourth goal. They paid dearly for their caution; in the 64th minute, Oscar Vincent made up for an uncharacteristically poor passing game on the night by connecting to Barnes with a delightful 35-yard switching ball, which Barnes deftly controlled with a light touch that took it past an overcommitting Huang Han. A burst of pace took Barnes from comfortably outside of the area to dangerously deep within it, where he found his balance and slipped the ball into the opposite left hand corner past the Yuezhou keeper.

Before anyone could blink the tricky Directus winger had a second, Eura’s third, and a vital equaliser. An uninterrupted series of short passes moving up the pitch allowed Eura to build up slowly, stretching and testing a now wobbling Yuezhou and looking for gaps. This continued until the Yue defensive line found itself ever so slightly off kilter – freshly introduced substitute Flora Brown took advantage, marking her 50th cap with a perfectly timed through ball to find Barnes, played onside by Huang and two others, who did his part with a remarkably similar finish to his first four minutes earlier. Eura tasted blood and pushed for a winner. Alex Sharp would come on to form part of a front three as he continues to return from fitness. But Ashdown’s team stabilised, and in the end both sides would have to share a point when either team could have won.

With such an unusually long group stage ahead of them (by the standards of a Copa that is) the mostly first choice side that drew with the Yue would again be rested for the next game, as they had been against Aerágny. Eura played a slightly different second string lineup this time as they faced Norrhem for the first time since a 4-2 victory at the 38th Copa Rushmori. Norrhem might have taken some confidence from Eura’s frailties against Yuezhou but if they did, it wasn’t evident in this game. Eura locked them into their own half early on and never let go of their iron grip. That said, there was a prolonged wait for Eura to open the scoring until the 37th minute, Falourr attacking midfielder Ben West bagging his first international goal for some time with a sublime direct free kick from 30 yards.

West’s strike might have opened the floodgates were half time not imminent, but as soon as the break had passed the Eurans practically kicked them down instead. A flurry of attacks in the first 20 minutes of the second half saw Owen Holden and Bobby Malone score from close range before Sharp - the only regular first teamer in the side - flicked home a cocky fourth after successfully charging down the nerve-wracked Norrhem goalkeeper. Eura’s strong performance was punctuated by an unfortunate Norrhem goal, a simple effort from a corner, meaning Eura had now conceded in this way in consecutive games. But at least the outing ended on a high note; Holden, who struggled to score in the last World Cup campaign, secured his third goal in two appearances from the spot to secure a 5-1 victory and establish his claim to be given more first team opportunities, heating up the already thrilling rivalry among Eura’s five superb strikers.

Elsewhere at the Copa Rushmori, the draconian laws of hosting nation Naixi are causing havoc among the large Euran fan contingent currently staying in the country. Several Eurans have been detained and questioned by the Celestial Empire’s jobsworth “police”, who have been cracking down on mundane foreign fan activity that falls afoul of their authoritarian standards. Eurans have been threatened with the long arm of the law for things like leaving a non-government approved book out on a coffee table, wearing a Falourr Banger Whiskey branded t-shirt, and in one case, “looking at an officer funny”. The Euran Ambassador could not be reached for comment, as they have apparently tuckered themselves out overeating shrimp at a reception.

[Naixi]

MATCHDAY 5

Group 1
Nephara 1–0 The Kytler Peninsulae
Eastfield Lodge 0–4 Darmen
San Isidro Labrador 1–0 Mytanija
Naixi 5–1 Real San Vegas scorinated by Quebec and Shingoryeo
Ketiou 3–4 República Guanacasteca

   Group 1                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Naixi                     5    5   0   0    12    3   +9    15
 2 Nephara                   5    4   1   0     8    2   +6    13
 3 San Isidro Labrador       5    4   0   1    10    6   +4    12
 4 Mytanija                  5    3   0   2     7    5   +2     9
 5 Darmen                    5    2   2   1    11    8   +3     8
 6 Ketiou                    5    2   0   3     6    8   −2     6
 7 República Guanacasteca    5    1   1   3     7   10   −3     4
 8 Rea San Vegas             5    0   2   3     6   12   −6     2
 9 Eastfield Lodge           5    0   2   3     4   12   −8     2
10 The Kytler Peninsulae     5    0   0   5     1    6   −5     0

Group 2
Isle Noire 1–2 Polar Islandstates
Tikariot 4–2 Southwest Eastnorth
Græntfjall 5–3 Pasarga
Valladares 1–0 Gatchingerrak Union
Glazgo 0–1 Nyowani Kitara

   Group 2               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Græntfjall              5    5   0   0    23   14   +9    15
 2 Tikariot                5    3   2   0    10    6   +4    11
 3 Polar Islandstates      5    3   1   1     7    5   +2    10
 4 Valladares              5    3   0   2    14   11   +3     9
 5 Pasarga                 5    2   1   2     9    9    0     7
 6 Southwest Eastnorth     5    1   2   2    12   12    0     5
 7 Nyowani Kitara          5    1   2   2    10   13   −3     5
 8 Isle Noire              5    1   1   3    10   14   −4     4
 9 Glazgo                  5    1   0   4     7   12   −5     3
10 Gatchingerrak Union     5    0   1   4     9   15   −6     1

Group 3
Thibaea 2–6 Captina Island
Stvoto Latoli 2–1 Olastor scorinated by Quebec and Shingoryeo
Gnejs 2–4 Cabo Azure
Elmyia 3–3 Astograth
Sargossa 2–2 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland

   Group 3                                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cabo Azure                                  5    5   0   0    25   11  +14    15
 2 Sargossa                                    5    3   2   0    14    9   +5    11
 3 Stvoto Latoli                               5    3   1   1    14   11   +3    10
 4 Elmyia                                      5    2   2   1    10    7   +3     8
 5 Captina Island                              5    2   1   2    12   13   −1     7
 6 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland    5    1   2   2     7   10   −3     5
 7 Gnejs                                       5    1   1   3    13   16   −3     4
 8 Olastor                                     5    1   1   3     6   10   −4     4
 9 Astograth                                   5    1   1   3     9   13   −4     4
10 Thibaea                                     5    0   1   4     3   13  −10     1

Group 4
Yuezhou 0–1 Savojarna
Norrhem 4–1 Aerágny
Pridnestrovia 0–1 Eura
Oberour Ar Moro 3–1 Zenic
Cassadaigua 2–1 The Askari Union

   Group 4               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Eura                    5    4   1   0    17    5  +12    13
 2 Cassadaigua             5    4   1   0     8    3   +5    13
 3 Oberour Ar Moro         5    4   0   1     7    2   +5    12
 4 Yuezhou                 5    3   1   1    11    4   +7    10
 5 Norrhem                 5    2   0   3     7   11   −4     6
 6 Savojarna               5    2   0   3     3    7   −4     6
 7 Pridnestrovia           5    1   1   3     4    5   −1     4
 8 Aerágny                 5    1   0   4     8   18  −10     3
 9 Zenic                   5    1   0   4     7   12   −5     3
10 The Askari Union        5    1   0   4     3    8   −5     3

MATCHDAY 6

Group 1
The Kytler Peninsulae 0–2 República Guanacasteca
Rea San Vegas 4–3 Ketiou
Mytanija 1–0 Naixi scorinated by Quebec and Shingoryeo
Darmen 3–1 San Isidro Labrador
Nephara 3–1 Eastfield Lodge

   Group 1                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Nephara                   6    5   1   0    11    3   +8    16
 2 Naixi                     6    5   0   1    12    4   +8    15
 3 San Isidro Labrador       6    4   0   2    11    9   +2    12
 4 Mytanija                  6    4   0   2     8    5   +3    12
 5 Darmen                    6    3   2   1    14    9   +5    11
 6 República Guanacasteca    6    2   1   3     9   10   −1     7
 7 Ketiou                    6    2   0   4     9   12   −3     6
 8 Rea San Vegas             6    1   2   3    10   15   −5     5
 9 Eastfield Lodge           6    0   2   4     5   15  −10     2
10 The Kytler Peninsulae     6    0   0   6     1    8   −7     0

Group 2
Polar Islandstates 0–0 Nyowani Kitara
Gatchingerrak Union 0–3 Glazgo
Pasarga 1–1 Valladares
Southwest Eastnorth 0–1 Græntfjall
Isle Noire 3–4 Tikariot

   Group 2               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Græntfjall              6    6   0   0    24   14  +10    18
 2 Tikariot                6    4   2   0    14    9   +5    14
 3 Polar Islandstates      6    3   2   1     7    5   +2    11
 4 Valladares              6    3   1   2    15   12   +3    10
 5 Pasarga                 6    2   2   2    10   10    0     8
 6 Glazgo                  6    2   0   4    10   12   −2     6
 7 Nyowani Kitara          6    1   3   2    10   13   −3     6
 8 Southwest Eastnorth     6    1   2   3    12   13   −1     5
 9 Isle Noire              6    1   1   4    13   18   −5     4
10 Gatchingerrak Union     6    0   1   5     9   18   −9     1

Group 3
Captina Island 1–1 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland
Astograth 2–2 Sargossa
Cabo Azure 3–3 Elmyia
Olastor 2–3 Gnejs
Thibaea 0–1 Stvoto Latoli scorinated by Quebec and Shingoryeo

   Group 3                                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cabo Azure                                  6    5   1   0    28   14  +14    16
 2 Stvoto Latoli                               6    4   1   1    15   11   +4    13
 3 Sargossa                                    6    3   3   0    16   11   +5    12
 4 Elmyia                                      6    2   3   1    13   10   +3     9
 5 Captina Island                              6    2   2   2    13   14   −1     8
 6 Gnejs                                       6    2   1   3    16   18   −2     7
 7 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland    6    1   3   2     8   11   −3     6
 8 Astograth                                   6    1   2   3    11   15   −4     5
 9 Olastor                                     6    1   1   4     8   13   −5     4
10 Thibaea                                     6    0   1   5     3   14  −11     1

Group 4
Savojarna 3–2 The Askari Union
Zenic 3–4 Cassadaigua
Eura 4–1 Oberour Ar Moro
Aerágny 1–0 Pridnestrovia
Yuezhou 3–4 Norrhem

   Group 4               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Eura                    6    5   1   0    21    6  +15    16
 2 Cassadaigua             6    5   1   0    12    6   +6    16
 3 Oberour Ar Moro         6    4   0   2     8    6   +2    12
 4 Yuezhou                 6    3   1   2    14    8   +6    10
 5 Norrhem                 6    3   0   3    11   14   −3     9
 6 Savojarna               6    3   0   3     6    9   −3     9
 7 Aerágny                 6    2   0   4     9   18   −9     6
 8 Pridnestrovia           6    1   1   4     4    6   −2     4
 9 Zenic                   6    1   0   5    10   16   −6     3
10 The Askari Union        6    1   0   5     5   11   −6     3

KEY

Green = Clinched progression to octofinals stage
Red = Cannot progress to octofinals stage

[Gnejs]

Nicomachean ethics

An eye for an eye. He knew now, finally, the shadow lord had been de-cloaked and comeuppance was to be served.

He had been stumbling in the dark for long, suffering one humiliation after another. He couldn’t sleep, because he had to be on-guard and defend himself during nights. So the days had developed into a nightmarish purgatory state where he wandered around like a living dead. Forget performing on the pitch or even thinking about making the team; he had enough on his plate just to keep upright and defend his belongings. He kept his things close, but he slipped up every now and then.

It was inevitable, of course, in a sleep-deprived and malnourished state. He couldn’t eat the hotel pizza anymore, it tasted too weird; he relied solely on the packs of salt and vinegar rice crackers and a large jar of satay sauce he had brought from home. So he let his guard down, it was only natural. One day, he must’ve left his water bottle unguarded, and there it was, filled with urine again. On another day, his shoes. Soaked. And at every turn his tormentor frustrated him and avoided detection.

But then suddenly it was the shadow that slipped up. Nicomachus had passed out behind a small shrubbery somewhere between the training grounds and their hotel, his bag and belongings left standing by the side of the road. Apparently, it was too much of a temptation, and when Nicomachus came to and peeked out through the shrubs, he finally caught a glimpse of the devil in action. Scrawny cry-baby southron defender fucking Hibiskus Andersson. Who would’ve thought that chinless idiot had it in him to deliver such terror. And for what? What had Nicomachus ever done to deserve this level of harassment? Sure, he secretly slept with his girlfriend repeatedly down south during the summer, but what gives with pissing in his cup? Where’s the reciprocity in that? Completely uncool.

He got a new sense of purpose after that, and he knew what he had to do. The retribution must fit the crime, and he would deliver it. But at the right time. Yes, he wasn’t about to go crazy right away. He would bide his time, and strike at the most opportune moment. Stupid Hibiskus had been playing well lately, there was no denying that, and Coach Clentin and Timotej were clearly looking to rotate the squad this campaign. So it was only a matter of time before that dickhead would get a spot in the starting lineup.

And sure enough, when Timotej briefed them on the night before the game against Thibaea, he learned that Hibiskus would replace Kärv in the four man defensive line. That was the sign he had been waiting for. So that night, when Hibiskus was celebrating his newfound success with a glass of prune juice, Nicomachus walked up to the hotel bar and stabbed him four times in the left buttock with a sharpened toothbrush. An eye for an eye.

A dirty move, some would say. But Nicomachus felt like the Scales of Justice had finally been balanced, and a golden mean restored.

- - -

Starting lineup MD7 and MD8

GK #27 Svendsen

RD #3 Grålum
RCD #9 Naess
LCD #8 Bjørneboe
LD #17 Benedictsen

RM #18 Hansen
M #25 Åboo
LM #24 Falkmar

RF #29 Fjällstrand
F #23 Ceder
LF #22 Clavell

[Glazgo]

Breathe.

That's all Patrick had to do.

But feeling the thumping of his heart in his chest was putting him off his pattern, and suddenly, he was stood thinking "How do I do that?"

Always humble, never full of himself, and a serial overthinker to boot, Patrick Radosavljević had honestly been surprised when Glenn Tamnavulin called him up for the Copa Rushmori. Deep down, he knew he'd been really good for Charing Cross over the last few years. Perhaps too good. It was true that he was a wanted man, and with rumoured interest from clubs in Semarland as well, maybe he was really good after all? But not good enough for a shirt number inside the first 11? Sol and Geir had been doing this for years. Way more years than Patrick had, but when Geir pulled his calf against Valladares, Patrick was thrust back into the starting lineup - ahead of Patrick Baraban (or, Older Patrick to the rest of the squad) and Martijn Shubukin. Both way more experienced than he was.

To tell the truth, Patrick had it in his head that he only got that callup back to the starting lineup because of his late goal against Græntfjall. He was the tallest of the centre-backs, therefore the main aerial threat whenever Glazgo had a corner. He hadn't even meant to jump that high - fortunately for him, Radek Sando's corner was a little higher than usual and his head met the ball at the right moment - a perfect connection that sent it spinning past the finger tips of the Græntfjall goalkeeper and into the back of the net.

Or was it the ball meeting his head?

A goal was a goal, a consolation goal nonetheless, but Patrick felt elated inside. A goal on his debut? That's every striker's dream, let alone a centre-back. Sure, he'd rather have taken the clean sheet, or a victory, but a goal was the next best thing. Everyone was happy for him. Even Older Patrick and Martijn, who knew they had a big fight on their hands to get into a two-man defence, rather than the fleeting gametime starting in a three. He didn't let it get to his head, and worked hard in training. Radek made a point of floating in higher crosses in training, and Patrick converted them with ease.

"It's just a training match," he'd say, awfully shy. "They don't actually count, you know?"

"Fucking hell pal, maybe we'd better stick you up front, aye?" boomed Kenn Tamnavulin.

"He's got more headed goals than Sergei Sorensen has in his entire career." laughed Konstantin Michelsen, whose laughter was interrupted by Sergei kicking a ball at his head and reminding him he had more international goals than him. Explicitly.

So, when the game came against Polar Islandstates, Patrick tried not to think about scoring and focus on defending. He didn't want to be known as the defender who scored goals, he wanted to be known as the defender who defended well.

Lucky for him, Sol de Marko was about as assured as they come when it came to defensive partners, and the Drumchapel United centre-back was very assured this particular day in Naixi. He and Patrick stuck to Dmitry Eisenhauer like glue, and with the added backup of Gunnar Strathness, they'd held it tight for the majority of the first half. Halfway there, only another 45 minutes to go. Patrick was feeling the pressure.

"Go back out there, play with a bit more freedom." Glenn Tamnavulin spoke, looking at his attacking unit. "The defence are doing everything right, but you guys need to get out there and show them what you're capable of."

Patrick felt more relieved. He'd got acknowledgement but not a huge deal, which would have made him feel more awkward, and Glenn had diverted his main focus of attention during the team talk to the attackers. Zahir and Bakir couldn't get the better of Rafael Kowaleski and Vagn Mortensen respectively, and even for the calm pair of youngsters the frustrations were beginning to show. So much that Glenn hooked them just after the hour mark and reverted to a 4-3-2-1, with Makhan Panesar and Pavel Hesso playing behind Didrik Karzharenko.

That seemed to have worked, when Patrick knocked it into the path of Makhan, who went on a nice little run before slipping a through ball into Didrik's path, but his Drumchapel teammate could only squeeze a scuffed shot off as Aapo Miroshnichenko chased him down with rapid speed. It would seem like that no matter what way they tried, Glazgo's attack wasn't getting through to day. And the same for Polar Islandstates, and Patrick really was showing his true strengths at the back. And when Radek floated another high corner to him 68 minutes in, the ball not so much bouncing off his head this time - given Patrick had leapt like a salmon at precisely the right moment to steer it past Hans Aigner, he hoped that he hadn't undone his defensive hard work - in the Glazgotian headlines, at least.

Trying not to think about it, he held as firm as could be. Ricky Overtime came on and filled in as a second defensive midfielder - making up a 4-2-1-2-1 - and Patrick was grateful for the extra support. He just had to watch as Ricky chased down whichever Polarian crossed his path with such tenacity Patrick could only dream of adding to his game. He and Sol were as relaxed as each other, but he didn't feel that inside.

Before long, the referee blew the whistle and Glazgo had their first win this Copa Rushmori, and their first win since the Baptism of Fire days many years ago. Patrick knew the headlines would talk about his goal the next day, and they did. But as he read on in the article, seeing the praise for his defensive capabilities as much as his header, he smiled. A good defender, and Glazgo's top scorer...

Starting XI v Nyowani Kitara (4-3-3): Hale; Cardwell, de Marko, Radosavljević, Lybeck; Strathness, Slatkin, Overtime; Karzharenko, Slowenski, Michelsen.
Starting XI v Gatchingerrak Union (4-3-1-2): Wik, Cardwell, de Marko, Radosavljević, Lybeck; Strathness, Slatkin, Hesso; Srna; Slowenski, Michelsen.

Accidentally posted this as Semarland rather than Glazgo for some reason...thanks to Naixi for pointing that out! Just putting it back up here for continuity purposes etc.

[Glazgo]

GLAsports.net

Glazgo's premier sports news website

OPINION: DOES TAMNAVULIN'S TEAM SELECTION LACK AGE BALANCE?
by Ondrej McMillan

GLAZGO | Looking across the rosters for the Copa Rushmori, the majority of nations seem to have a respectable balance in the ages of their players. Some young, some old, but the majority within a certain "age range" that spreads it out somewhat evenly on average. Except Glazgo.

Indeed, the majority of Glenn Tamnavulin's side are 30+ (along with three 29 year olds we'll include in that portion for the purposes of this article), with the next biggest chunk of players in another age bracket being 20 or under. That leaves just four players aged between 21 and 28 - two of whom are 21, the other two 23. So in actual fact, there's no aged between 24 and 28, considered by many as the "peak" ages for most players, position depending of course. You'd be forgiven for thinking the majority of the league is a "retirement home" of mainly 30+ players plodding along for their last few pay packets as a professional footballer, but in actual fact, there's plenty of players within a prime age group who could have easily been called up. And many of whom played well.

We're not complaining about Tamnavulin's selections, not at all. Wins against Polar Islandstates and Gatchingerrak Union have lifted them off rock bottom up to sixth place. And whilst chances of qualification to the Round of 16 (or Octofinals as they are known in the host country of Naixi) are fairly slim, the overall performances from the side have been overall pretty good, considering they were one of the lowest ranked teams in the whole competition - unranked in fact, and haven't played together let alone competed on an international stage in over ten years. But it begs the question, nothing lasts forever, and when a large portion of these players move on and retire, which will probably be fairly soon in the grand scheme of things, will we have to start all over again with a new generation stepping up, completely inexperienced on the international stage?

Let's start from the back. The goalkeeping department are all either 29 or 30, and everyone knows that's a "peak" age for a goalkeeper. In fact, they've all probably got a good few more years left, but whether they'll all stay in the fold is a different question. Anders Khamidouline seems to have established himself as the #1, with the Heart of Clyde shot stopper offering up some memorable saves so far in the group stages. Russell Wik and Enrik Hale were long touted as the future heirs to the throne and despite credible performances in the league, will they stick around? It's unlikely Tamnavulin will choose to blood another young goalkeeper when the next World Cup qualification campaign rolls around, so Wik and Hale may find themselves in the stup for some time yet. But no doubt he'll be casting his eyes on the leagues, looking for someone to potentially challenge Khamidouline, rather than just play backup and rotate for numbers purposes.

In defence, we expect seasoned veterans like Patrick Baraban and Geir Blazevic, now moreso given his calf injury, won't stay past the next World Cup qualifiers. Baraban is a solid and dependable backup but is a bit more tortoise-paced than the rest, whilst Blazevic has lost his place to one of the "21-23" group in Patrick Radosavljević - one of the standout performers so far. Backup full back Nino Kerla is another 23 year old who has impressed in his fleeting appearances, often off the bench, acting as more of a wing-back if anything, plugging the gap as backup full-back and in essence, backup winger, given only two were named. The rest of the defence bar one are all bang on 30, so probably have a couple more years left, but only Sol de Marko and Mika Lybeck, plus other backup wing-back Radek Sando have impressed us enough to consider in our minds part of the pool in two years time. Of course, more factors depend on this such as league performances - the likes of Dario Cardwell and Martijn Shubukin will keep plugging away, the consistent performers that they are, but if we were to base their performances on this Copa Rushmori, they haven't been the most memorable.

Not to say they've been bad at all - Shubukin, like Baraban has just fallen behind Radosavljević, whilst Cardwell - if you remember the Baptism of Fire days, is much more a Mattias Kaasa type full-back if anything. Which isn't bad, but when the likes of Sando offer a lot more going forward - a wicked left boot, a pinpont-precise cross and a lot more pace, we think that the Coatbridge Town full-back has usurped Cardwell in the pecking order. That would be if Tamnavulin decided to start him in a four-man defence. The same could be said for the aforementioned Kerla, who at 23 has a lot more years to come, but will be itching to prove he's got the capability to start in a four-man defence ahead of the impressive Lybeck.

Moving onto midfield, which is perhaps the more balanced area if anything. The majority of the older players are no more than 31 years old, and there is an impressive amount of youth. 16 year old Hadžo Medunjanin, perhaps a shock call up given his age, has in fact impressed in his cameos and we'd love to see him offered another start. The same for the likes of Possilpark Celtic's Ricky Overtime - the 19 year old has been hugely impressive when brought on, and whilst Makhan Panesar and Izmal Barbarez haven't had much chance to make an impact, we're sure they can do too. It might be a risky move for Tamnavulin to start all four at once, especially ahead of "Triple S" - who look like they're going nowhere any time soon, but we would love to see all four get more of a chance rather than just 20 minutes or so off the bench, or a start in a game but getting taken off around the hour mark. It's like we've only seen them in fragments. If anything, they should be the most match-fit out of any of the team!

Triple S, as we'll lovingly call them, have been a key part of the team - especially in the recent game against Gatchingerrak Union. Joakim Srna, upon his return from injury, contributed a goal and two assists. Merlin Slatkin ran the show in the midfield. And last but not least, captain Gunnar Strathness protected the defence with such authority and fearlessness, it was like watching a carbon copy of Vadim Bauer (in terms of playing style). It's hard to fit the other midfielders around them, and with utility man Pavel Hesso the preferred substitute in midfield at the moment, it's hard to gauge whether Tamnavulin will put any more trust in youth given there is a faint but slight chance of qualifying to the octofinals. Risks pay off though - going into attack, Evander Slowenski and Konstantin Michelsen were poor against Nyowani Kitara, but Tamnavulin stuck by them and both netted a goal apiece against Gatchingerrak Union. Whether they'll be kept on ahead of Didrik Karzharenko or Sergei Sorensen, especially now they all have an equal goal tally, again we can't work out.

It's all down to formation. Not forgetting the two 21 year olds, wingers Zahir Mulahalilović and Bakir Hadžiadmirović, players who offer such dynamism and excitement going forward it's hard not to include them in the lineup. They've gelled well with the Triple S midfield, and work best advanced in a 4-3-3 rather than in a midfield 4 and we think their style of play is more suited to Karzharenko, arguably the best of the bunch when it comes to lone strikers. Sorensen tends to play in a front two, as does Michelsen, whilst the oldest of the bunch in Slowenski might find it hard to keep up on his own. Looking forward, we're not sure if any of the strikers would be in long-term plans. Like goalkeepers Wik and Hale, there was much hope for Karzharenko back in the day and he has had quite a succesful playing career. He would offer much experience even as a squad player, so he seems the most likely choice. Slowenski will likely retire from football altogether by the time the World Cup qualifiers come to an end, leaving Sorensen and Michelsen. There's plenty of young strikers in Glazgo climbing their way up the goalscoring charts, so they'll have to be on top form to win Tamnavulin's consideration.

So let's think. Would we have performed better if we had an equal spread of ages in the squad? Maybe not. These 26 were picked because they were the best 26 Glazgotians last season, plain and simple. You might not think it, especially if you didn't follow the Premier Division last season, but it's true. Maybe it's the gap in quality - you could go on with several other similar queries but if there's one thing Glenn Tamnavulin has made clear - this is a long-term project, not a short-term one. Which was why we were confused when there was such a gap in age. No doubt it's nice to see some of the older generation get the chance to get a run out for their country, and who knows what Tamnavulin's thinking, maybe they won't be around for the World Cup qualification campaign. The majority of the most promising youngsters in the country have all gained some sort of experience so far, and that will no doubt bode them well for the future. You can bet any money on the likes of Medunjanin still being part of this team in the next 15-20 years, and perhaps that'll all be down to his very early debut.

Either way, if there's one thing the country can agree on, it's nice to see those older players get the chance to represent their country whilst simultaneously it's nice to get a good look for the future with Medunjanin and co making an early mark. Perhaps the balance wasn't required straight away with it being a long term project after all. Whether we make it out of qualification or not, it's just been nice to see Glazgo back - and even nicer seeing these 26 Glazgotians who have worked so hard over years enjoying the fruits of their labour.

Starting XI v Pasarga (4-3-3): Khamidouline; Cardwell, de Marko, Radosavljević, Lybeck; Strathness, Slatkin, Srna; Mulahalilović, Karzharenko, Hadžiadmirović.
Starting XI v Southwest Eastnorth (4-3-2-1): Khamidouline; Sando, de Marko, Radosavljević, Kerla; Strathness, Medunjanin, Overtime; Panesar, Barbarez; Karzharenko.

[Cabo Azure]

Succession, pt 4
Sometimes Solveig found it hard to sleep.

Her apartment in the palace had once been the queen mother’s, first Queen Charlotte and later Queen Abigail upon her return to the palace. It had a sitting room with a small kitchen, a bathroom with a ceramic clawfoot tub, and a bedroom with a four-poster bed and a view of the sea. She could pull the heavy drapes to block out the light if she chose to, but she found it wasn’t necessary; the window faced away from the soft lights of Portelo, and once the sun disappeared behind the Colina Real, her room became pitch dark and nearly silent.

That was the problem.

Her parents’ apartment (that was how she thought of it, no matter how hard she tried) in Hattmark had been well-appointed, located along a busy boulevard that rang with the sounds of cars and pedestrians well into the night, every night. Even their bungalow in Villa Silva was within hearing range of rowdy Olastorian and Cenian expatriates who loved to flaunt their wealth and station by partying on weeknights. As she lay awake nights in the palace, though, these weren’t the places she thought of.

She thought instead of the motel in Panmoon, Quebec, where she’d spent the last few months preparing for the Twin Cities Olympics. She didn’t know how Sonia Vargas and the Olympic committee found the place, and it was probably better that way. Panmoon was a small, rural town dominated by a military base, but it had a rink with ice, and that was probably as selective the committee could afford to be. She’d shared both the rink and the hotel with the Azurean national hockey team, comprised of a smorgasbord of Quebecois, Graintfjallers, and Tikariotians who happened to have Azurean passports, and they’d somewhat adopted her as an unofficial teammate during their time together.

Her days in Panmoon had been spent training and practicing her routine, the most intense training regimen of her career. What free time she had, usually in the early evening, had mainly been spent in the small bar attached to the motel, tucked away in a booth with a couple of the quieter players while the rest caroused loudly. In time she'd developed some kind of friendship with most of them–some of the younger ones shied away, likely out of fear of their interest being misunderstood.

One incident stood out in her mind above the rest, and she revisited it often those sleepless nights. One Saturday night the boys, as she'd come to think of them, strayed beyond their usual haunt to a bar in downtown Panmoon, where they encountered players from Panmoon Panthers, the local minor-league team whose rink they'd been using. A few careless words from both sides escalated into a brawl, and the Azurean team's coach had gotten the call to retrieve his players from the police station. For reasons Solveig couldn't begin to fathom, perhaps because he was the only Quebecois known to the team, the hockey coach called her coach, who woke her up, and the three of them trooped to the police station.

The following day, hockey practice proceeded as usual until the very end of practice, when one of the players would usually jump on the zamboni and clean up the ice before Solveig started her practice. Having already done her dry-land warmup, Solveig was seated in the bench area with her skates on when the hockey coach had his players line up on the baseline, where he proceeded to make them skate back and forth for the better part of an hour.

Twenty minutes in, as her coach furiously tried to get the hockey coach's attention, Solveig restarted her stretching routine. A few minutes later, she climbed over the boards and joined the boys in their sprints. Most were already too gassed to pay her any more than a cursory glance. Her coach threw up his hands and stomped up the bleachers to the concourse, while the hockey coach only seemed to note her position relative to his forwards. Were there anyone else in the barn that evening, they would have seen a tiny teenaged girl in tights and figure skates racing among a bunch of grown men as they darted back and forth on the ice.

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

"The thing with this competition is that it is absolutely loaded with proven nations, and we're just not one of them, and the fact we have half a team and they have a full team just makes it all the harder, so I'm actually impressed with how we've defended over the course of these matches, but the attack..."

Jannik Pétursson's voice trailed off.

"Pure slani."

The Kytlerians have the grand non-total of one goal in six matches, all defeats, just one of them by multiple goals. República Guanacasteca put two unanswered goals past them in their sixth fixture, the one that mathematically confirmed their campaign will end after the group stage; their preceding five losses were four 1-0s with a 2-1 against Darmen thrown in. Whilst soccer is notionally the national sport, it is more accurate to describe it as the most popular spectator sport (and barely enough that), and there just isn't the same level of all-consuming talent funnel into the sport that there is in so many other places. That was true and a limiting factor for Kytlerian soccer even before multiple periods of isolation. This latest generation of talent, filled with multiple Græntfjaller-Kytlerian dual nationals - and coached by another - is finding things predictably brutal. If anyone is acquitting themselves on this regional stage, it is Alexander Batley, the Bravin Rangers lynchpin impressing at the heart of the defense in Pétursson's 4-4-2 having mostly played as a holding midfielder for his club. Turning 30 just after this tournament, however, he seems unlikely at best to move to a bigger club stage; look to the Di Bradini Cup side for that, if anywhere. (The Brevity Challenge Cup exists, and the Kytlerians have done well in that so far, but that Verbosita-free tournament was already a notoriously wonky competition to judge anyone or anything from, and its revival comes in an era where that likely holds triply so.)

"We need to somehow find ways to play without fear," Pétursson added in his press conference before facing fellow bottom-dwellers Eastfield Lodge in Fuzaidai's Gongren Jinku ground, the smallest venue of the competition an appropriately un-grand stage for this clash of two eliminated sides. "We know we have players who can put the ball in the net. They do it in their club matches all the time, and now they're facing another team they have no reason to fear. This is where we prove what we can really do." He sounded increasingly shaky even in trying to convince himself, let alone everyone else. Few expect him to get the permanent job when the two-and-a-half Kytlerian teams become one for the WC qualifying stages ahead. Failure to defeat Eastfield Lodge would lock that fate in beyond any doubt.

[Zenic]

“Okay, so explain it to me again. We theoretically COULD make it out of the group stage?”

Alaia Dima rubbed her right temple in consternation at the Emperor’s sudden increase of interest in sports. Of course, she was glad that he was interested as she would be for any citizen but having to explain a somewhat complex situation to your boss AND leader of the place you live is never an easy task.

“To lay it out as simply as I am capable of: if the Survivors win out and certain teams lose enough games, we could sneak out of Group 4 and into the knockout stages in 4th place. Winning all three of our remaining games would put us at a total of 12 points, which is, and I can’t stress this enough, more than the CURRENT points that the 4th place team has in our group. Should any of the teams between 4th and 8th place get 13 points or more at ANY point in the last three matchdays, we are eliminated from the Copa. At that point, we would just be playing for honor and to not finish in last place to help out our ranking.” Alaia exhaled as she finished explaining all that to the Emperor.

She watched as the Emperor sat behind his desk with his hands clasped together and slightly touching his mouth. She could tell that he was deep in thought but was unsure if it was in confusion or calculation. Alaia tensed as Cuauhtémoc prepared to speak.“Who are our remaining three opponents for this Copa?”

“They should be The Askari Union, Savojarna and….. Eura.” Alaia hesitated at speaking the name of the final opponent as she knew that even if they made it to the final matchday with a chance to qualify, such a young squad trying to beat a nation that has won 2 World Cups, 3 Copa Rushmoris and 1 Cup of Harmony would simply be too much to ask of them.

The Emperor frowned for a second before putting on a neutral expression once more. “Thank you for the information. The best we can do is cheer on the squad and see what happens. As long as we can continue to improve and move up in the rankings, that’s what should be our focus. Let Zys know that and should we be eliminated before the last matchday, he can consider playing a new lineup to see how the rest of our talent deals with playing 90 minutes.”

Alaia smiled. She was glad that the Emperor wasn’t expecting too much out of such a young and inexperienced squad. Though, considering how he handled the ZSF conflict, she never really had a reason to worry. “Understood. I’ll continue to keep you posted on the Copa and other related football events.”

“Now, I do have some interesting news on our ice hockey national team, Emperor. I believe we may have found our new coaching team.”

[Elmyia]

The Overlap
Shiny New Thing Syndrome

Disclaimer: I'm not saying I don't like Aaron McLoughlin.

There's been a growing clamour for Aaron McLoughlin in Elmyia's footballing media. Devoid of any context, this makes perfect sense.

McLoughlin is an excellent player in excellent form. Like so many of Elmyia's greatest players, he left Mosfleet Albion having been chronically overlooked by Paul Reynard. A move abroad to Fallwich United in Cap Nord materialised after the enormous springboard of winning the Di Bradini Cup, where he was individually excellent.

At Fallwich he's moved from cult hero to talent to be reckoned with. Making team of the year in both seasons there, he's established himself not only as an intelligent reader of space, but also as a classy distributor of possession. Playing alongside the grittier Kenneth Breuker, he's had a real opportunity to showcase the full range of his talents in possession. There's no doubt Fallwich depend on his talents, a short injury lay-off derailed their attempt to press for an IFCF space, and with him not fully fit they fell short in the cup final. All of this has really solidified his claim to a spot in the national team.

Whilst McLoughlin has traditionally been a more defensively minded player, his distribution seems to have captured the imagination. Elmyia's sports pages have clogged with opinion pieces putting forward his case for inclusion in the first eleven. However. The question as to who should be dropped seems to have been skirted around due to what I'd term shiny new thing syndrome.

Shiny new thing syndrome emerges as a player has a particularly good/exciting run of form. They're having a good time for their club, they're usually young, they're doing something exciting. From there, clamour starts to emerge. They could do a job for Elmyia, they could be great for Elmyia. Finally everyone proclaims them the second coming. Yet, all of this often has little to do with the needs and requirements of the national team. Enter McLoughlin.

McLoughlin's spot remains blocked by the superlative Kit Simmons. Journalists seem to try and find a way past this fact through three different methods. The least sensible is simply to pretend that McLoughlin is the better player in the better form. Kingston are a midtable side, Simmons is solid but he's not exactly inspiring them to new heights. This falls down when you compare the strengths of the respective league. The Q league is one of the best in the multiverse, and Simmons is clearly getting on well on the big stage. McLoughlin is dominant, but Cap Nord's domestic scene just isn't quite as strong yet.

More sensible are those who claim, instead, that McLoughlin offers something different to Simmons. Simmons is a destroyer, a defensive titan, he's great in the big games. They argue that McLoughlin can come in against other sides, ones that need a bit more breaking down. He can get forward, his distribution can be ambitious, he can box crash for a goal. There are situations where he can change things up for Porras. On the face of it, based on how they play, this might make sense. Yet. Simmons, for the national side, faces a set of requirements he must meet to make the system work. With everyone else going forward, he has to offer just a little bit of screening for the backline. If he was given the same freedom as McLoughlin, his own passing range and ability to gallop forward would shine. In the national team McLoughlin will have to play the same way.

The final, most sensible, argument is that McLoughlin could replace someone else. Galli, the ranging 8, could give way to a more positionally disciplined player. He could bring the calm passing that might allow them to build a spell of pressure in a way they currently struggle to. He could also offer a more defensive alternative to Marakakis, less likely to forfeit the ball with overly ambitious passing. This might work in theory, but it would if ore how Porras wants to play. The risk taking, always going forward approach of the Juven coach is baked in, and he's unlikely to change this for a defensive midfielder experiencing a good patch of form.

Should Simmons be injured, McLoughlin will have his chance. For now, however, he'll have to content himself on the bench.

[Cassadaigua]

Copa Rushmori moving along,
by Caitlyn Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Loyal Cassadagan soccer fans don't need the media to tell them what's been going on for Team Cassadaigua in the 44th Copa Rushmori, but it was a bit of a surprise when we heard that so many people were opting out of the competition. Many big blows to the team happened before the roster was ever assembled, with the omission of Lexi McGregor being the toughest. "I've decided that it is in my best interest, and the interest of Starksville United for me to get a little more rest and to pass on the Copa Rushmori", Lexi said before the tournament, "I wish everyone the best, but the burdens of the international competitions, to go along with the needs of the domestic season can take a lot out of you. Physically, I'd be fine, but I want a little more time for myself. I am 22, and want to live a little, too." Some criticized McGregor for her decision, while those defending her quickly reminded those people that even the likes of Rachel Schanke and Hannah Ranucci opted out of the Copa Rushmori in their younger years too. We know that Lexi, because of her outspoken personality, gets subjected to more scrutiny, and that's really not fair. According to tabloids, Lexi has recently begun dating male supermodel Kevin Meyers and the two have wanted to spend more time together. She's not the only star not playing, but the way some pundits have acted, you would think that she was.

It's a great opportunity for different people to have an opportunity to shine, and while we will not say that they are new faces, what they are, are players who are in a greater role than they are commonly associated with. Among those that did not opt out, however, were the Engle twins, as well as Rachel Wyman and Kaitlin Millikan, and the hope was that they would be able to generate much of the offense. Up front, Carly Patterson is coming off a career year in the CSL, so she certainly was one that we were interested in watching.

Without getting into too much detail, as after all, you know where to find the detail (ps: Download the Concord Heights Times App if you haven't already) and probably know, but here is a little information.

MD1: Norrhem 0–2 Cassadaigua - Lauren Engle 25', Allyson Perry 58'

MD2: Cassadaigua 2–2 Pridnestrovia- Carly Patterson 34', Lauren Engle 79'

MD3: Oberour Ar Moro 0–1 Cassadaigua- Chrissy Engle 42'

MD4: Savojarna 0–1 Cassadaigua- Allyson Perry 80'

MD5: Cassadaigua 2–1 The Askari Union- Lauren Engle 10', Carly Patterson 61'

MD6: Zenic 3–4 Cassadaigua- Carly Patterson 32', Rachel Wyman 36', Taylor Brown 45'+3, Chrissy Engle 59'

Record: 5-1-0, T-1st with Eura

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Savojarna beat Askari Union dramatically, stay in position for quarterfinal

By Anders Hellberg

Savojarna had gotten the worst possible start to the Copa Rushmori, waiting for their third game to even score a goal and losing three of their first four matches. But the verdict on the Northlights may have been a little harsh early on, as their schedule also was very tough facing the first three seeds of the group in the first four matches. They seemed to manage a turnaround on the fifth match day as they edged out Yuezhou in a dramatic game (read the match report [url]here[/url]) as Medberg Hansen finally scored his first goal of the tournament with a tap-in after a spill from Yuezhou keeper Zhao Deliang. With these three points in the bag, the Northlights faced the Askari Union knowing that a win over their fellow socialist nation would put them on the brink of the qualifying spots, one point behind Yuezhou and level with Norrhem, with a comparatively easier schedule ahead.

But beating the Askari Union proved to be harder than some may have expected, with their opponents languishing at the bottom of the table with one win. Savojarna opened the game being pinned back by the Askari offence, a whirling offensive game that was pushing back the Savojar midfield, but they did manage to prevent any dangerous shots for twenty minutes and got two swift counters in that were both denied by misses from the Savojar strikers. Most notably, Sven Ehlers completely sliced wide on a shot from thirteen metres, missing the goal by a good two metres on an uncharacteristic individual mistake. Then, the Northlights committed another uncharacteristic mistake as Artyom Sobchuk - subbed in to give captain Brynjar Hatun a break after two long fights against Cassadaigua and Yuezhou - mispositioned to be unable to reach a long ball, and then pulled Fontaine’s jersey to send him down in the box, setting up Olympe Riva for a 1-0 lead for the outsiders.

Savojarna seemed to be down again, with their backs against the walls, but the Northlights did actually bounce back this time. Maersk managed to steady her team’s nerve with the aid of replacement captain Milla Viipuri and some good leadership from Dynamo Sjoedrhavn midfielder Jelena Tretjakov. The midfielder drove forward the ball relentlessly, but also managed to shake up some of her colleagues, most notably directing Vladimir Orakhin - who had a dreadful game against Eura - to take the right positions in the double midfield that Maersk continued to force. With the system finally clicking more and more, the Savojars took control of the game while still playing conservative, but finding great balls thanks to Tretjakov’s relentless runs and Ehlers falling back to make runs from range. The first goal came right before the break as Jelena Tretjakov carried it forward for around twenty-five metres before dropping the ball wide to Gyldenström, and a pass back to Ehlers set the Falourr striker up for the 1-1.

Maersk made her changes in the break, substituting off the bland Ruslan Novikov for Arnar Hrafnarsson. The change paid off big time as a long cross by Magnusson from a free kick was prolonged by Medberg Hansen and landed on the foot of Arnar Hrafnars, who tapped the ball in from four metres at the far post with Askari keeper Combeferre being completely out of position after a fruitless chase after the ball. With the situation being reversed 55 minutes in, the Savojars could have sat back again, but did not want to lose control of the game again, instead driving forward more and more. On a counter, the Northlights appeared to pull away decisively as the quick Ehlers managed to escape on a counter; while he was faced down by Giaccherini, he found a sideways ball to joker Lars Alvesen leading to the 3-1. However, what looked like a convincing win that would send the Savojars onwards to prepare for a win turned into a nailbiter in the end of the game.

With just 12 minutes to go plus injury time, Askari striker Renate Eskalza rose higher than Röysveit on a corner and managed to get the ball towards the goal, where Milla Viipuri’s attempt to stop the ball made it bounce off her thigh over Olga Valujev. The wingback and replacement captain buried her face in her hands as her side’s lead was now shortened to 2-3 with the Askari Union side aggressively pushing for an equaliser. But luckily for Savojarna, it never quite came to fruition thanks to multiple close moments. Valujev just about punched a shot by Eskalza over the bar, and Camoa Villanelle missed by about fifteen centimetres. Then, in injury time, it looked like the Askari Union equalised for a moment before the referee confirmed Digne as having been offside, much like the Savojars had claimed from the moment the pass was played.

In the end, they managed to hold on to what ended up being probably a closer lead than they would have wished. Now, however, things are getting important for everyone in the tournament, and the Northlights are no exceptions as they go to meet direct opponents Norrhem in a crucial game for fourth place. A loss here makes things very difficult for the Savojars, whereas a win might even lift them into fourth place already if Yuezhou drop points to Pridnestrovia.

[Tikariot]

Good morning, afternoon, evening or night, where- and whenever you are reading this. Welcome back to our review of the TPL's transfer window activities. Today we shall do something lightly different and present you with eight instead of seven teams! If we're honest, we didn't want to have Vna-Chuhul left over, but hey, different it - still - is!

Port Rhovanyon AFC
Other than backup Ragnhild Fjeld Stenevik, the Kraken only made two signings, but they were both costly and impactful, with Mytanars Vuk Bajalica and Miran Zakubovnik signing with the club, one bringing defensive quality and leadership and the other forming a formidable striking duo with Morris Nighthorse.
Rating: A-

Port Tacassam FC
Port Tacassam are another team that is not trying to rock the boat, with the only change in their starting eleven the inclusion of Patrick Givaudan, who was displaced in Avanaroch and hopefully will add some more offensive initiation from midfield.
Rating: C

Pyathora Mariners FC
After their near-relegation, Mariners management decided that it was time to shake things up and bring in four new starters, three of which in the defense. Fraser Chitwick and Christina Pogosyan, moving form Miruan and Crimsonhawke respectively, will form the new outer defense while Capnordian Iver Askelund will attempt to close down the centre with Austin St-Onge. In midfield, Eastfielder Celestina Kazmi has escaped Xanark and is now looking to build on her outstanding season that had not been enough to stave off the dragons' relegation.
Rating: B+

Tikariot City FC
If not for the expansion of the TPL to 22 teams, the Snowy Owls would have been relegated to the TSL, which is why their management decided to forsake any semblance of restraint and went all out. Three of the five most expensive transfers went to Tikariot City, with budding central defense star Connlaodh MacGofraidh costing 10 million auranurs, Sargossan Martín de la Cavallería clocking in at 4.5 million and Nepharim Deniza Kresinger adding another 4 million, plus another 3.5 for Chromatik Mel Hartley.
Rating: A+

Vantanoch FC
Usually more a team to be gentle in their transfer activities, Vantanoch's hand was forced by the transfers of the trio of Zakubovnik, Ronnberg and Tudorache, leading to more signings than usual. Cyera Umucukuzi (Kirungabi) moved in from Xanark, Cameron Ruhland signed from Pyathora and Pasargan veteran Andrija Hrvatin was brought in from Kelssek to offer some much-needed veteran leadership in the back.
Rating: B

Veriasod Wolves FC
While the bench has seen some serious upgrades, Veriasod starters were able to breathe a sigh of relief with only one new name appearing in the books with Patriotlandian midfielder Samuelle Savoie-Smith who is hoped to bring additional stability in the transition game and also add some offensive magic.
Rating: C-

Viathyn Park AFC
After gaining a surprising immediate re-promotion due to the TPL's expansion, Viathyn Park figured to open the purse strings and shell out some serious money for a completely new midfield as both defense and forwards had survived the relegation. With Stian Askebrand, Daniela Marmenlind and Harry Watson the club brought in three Tikariotians that have been widely seen as underrated, with Nepharim Demetrius Paschalakis seen as the king's transfer in the bunch. Also new to the starting line-up are U21 national team keeper Magdalena von Yxkull and centre back Bryce Larkingham to shore up the defense.
Rating: B+

Vna-Chuhul Ravens FC
The Ravens' off-season was a bit like a changing of the guard, with four Chromatik leaving the club and four new ones coming in to take their place. Out are Krzyżanowsk, Jackson-Jones, Nam (all moving to Avanaroch) and Duchamp (who went home) and in come Edlana Claychiseler and the CCFA graduates Lia Jones-Masters, Kanda Ane and Riley Yarrik in the hope that the Ravens can continue their upward trajectory.
Rating: B-

[Yue Zhou]

Yuezhou had done well enough over their first few matches, surging out to an unbeaten start and holding Eura to a single point. But there was no denying it any longer, not after a poor showing against Savojarna and a cataclysmic defensive effort against Norrhem. They had a Wan Sheping-sized hole in their midfield.

Elaine Ashdown, despite being relatively new to blatant political interference within the national team, had fought for Wan to stay with the team after the Wirr Tsi star had fought "managerial consultant" Kang Guilin during the World Cup. Kang had been another blatant act of YFA interference - the longtime Nangang Royals manager was a hero amongst the Nangang-based suits, even if he'd failed to impress during his first stint with the national team - and she'd wanted nothing to do with his side of the fight. It had worked - Wan had played in the historic Round of 16 against Pemecutan, the Dragons' first-ever knockout berth appearance - but not for long. Whether it was YFA meddling, or if Wan really just wanted it to be over, the midfielder retired after the team's elimination.

Zhaxi Jianzan had been the chosen successor. And, maybe given another cycle, she could've made a seamless transition to Midfield Leader. But she was still a bit young and unpolished, prone to being dragged out of position. With Wan to cover for her, she'd been excellent, a key figure in the team's qualifying run and World Cup overperformance. With Guo Hong, who was pretty good but similarly likely to overextend to cut off a pass, things had a tendency to fall out of sync. Ashdown had experimented with Fang Yuhui and even Brynjólfur Zhenyasson Zhang alongside Zhaxi, but to no avail. The midfielders' individual ability, as well as Yuan Mingrong and a surprisingly good Deng Daiyu holding down the fort behind them, had gotten them through the first few matches despite some critical missteps to blow the lead against Eura. But against Savojarna, in the Northlights' return to the international stage, disaster had struck - Zhao Deliang had spilled the winning goal for Medberg Hansen to poke home, and Yuan Mingrong had gone down holding his knee.

With Li Jianguo alongside Deng Daiyu, and Zhaxi and Guo without cover, things had come to a head in a calamitous showing against Norrhem. [REDACTED] had run rampant, scoring two goals in the first half to put the Dragons in an early hole. The powerful attack had found its footing after a slow start, with Kara Mingsdottír Zhang assisting Luo Nanwei for the first and taking advantage of a [REDACTED] spill - reminiscent of Zhao the previous match - to take a 3-2 lead. Norrhem had fought back to equalize, but Yuezhou still looked to be the favorites to take three points - until an own-goal by Deng under little pressure let everything slip away.

Yuan Mingrong would be back for the critical matches, first against a disappointing but dangerous Pridnestrovia and then facing an Oberour Ar Moro side a point ahead of the Dragons in third place. Four points, if not six, would be critical to rescue a group stage that has gone from "group title challenge" to "desperate scrap for the Ro16 berths" in the blink of an eye, especially with Chen Huikang's Cassadaigua looming on the horizon. For the double feature, Elaine Ashdown would reach into her bag of tricks and find a new midfield. Zhaxi would remain, but on her side, an intelligent, hardworking player who rarely let herself be dragged out of shape. And, in case more miscues happened, this new midfielder was one of the most battle-hardened players on the team, both metaphorically, and after a disastrous loan spell in Farfadillis, literally.

The fate of Yuezhou's Copa Rushmori campaign had come down to Pan Xilei.

[Rea San Vegas]

Matchday 5: Naixi 5–1 Real San Vegas

Jevon Moulden has been interviewed
Not the best result improvement need to be meet.

Matchday 6: Rea San Vegas 4–3 Ketiou

Jevon Moulden has been interviewed
A good win but I can announce today that I will be stepping down after the Copa Rushmori 44 to work on developing a stable league and help and advise on new manager for Rea San Vegas. The Future does look good for Rea San Vegas National Team loads of hidden talent to come and Hope the best In future we will see out these last few matches of this Copa Rushmori.

Thanks for the Interview

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Football



The Impossible Balance


Blanco Borrayo reports from the Celestial Empire;

More attacking intent was what the Football Federation and fans alike had wanted to see from their national side, after a string of drawn World Cup qualification fixtures against nations who have possibly already plunged into sporting obscurity. So, mission accomplished then? The Corsairs have arrived in the Celestial Empire with an eye for goal, that can’t be denied. Sixteen goals scored in six Group 3 fixtures, that’ll do nicely. But while the attack are finding their range it’s at the other end of the pitch where the cracks have been appearing.

It can be done. We had all seen it at Lomiji De Xiedu atop the altitude of Bijiben, where Sargossa dismantled Captina Island. The attack looked sharp, Adrian Rodríguez adding to his burgeoning reputation with a brace, and the defence ably marshalled the men and women of The Captina Company. It was a complete performance, one that Slavko Jelic has been hunting for from his side for quite some time. But his charges just can’t seem to find the consistency.

In the five other group games thus far the side have leaked an unimpressive eleven goals, including throwing away leads in both their previous Group 3 fixtures. The national side aren’t exactly known as champions of learning and culture but they seemed keen to hit the museums of Chumeichang early after taking a two goal lead against the combination of Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland. As the Corsairs’ seemingly drifted into daydream the Mountaineers scaled new heights and came roaring back to grab a point.

The fact that the next fixture also took place in the scholarly centre of Chumeichang was suitably fitting. The city is dripping in tradition. And what is more traditional to a Sargossan national side than not beating Astograth? Olibondeka have good claim to be the Corsairs’ bogey side, up there in the whatever the opposite of affections are in the hearts of the fans, right alongside the coach’s Mytanar homeland. It took until the ninth fixture between the nations for Sargossa to register an actual win over Astograth. Fixture number ten saw a reversion back to the more traditional pattern. Rodríguez had thought he’d won this one, when his sixth goal in as many games edged Sargossa in front late on. But, with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season, there was Astograth. The experienced Yokin Erdokiain coolly slotted passed Antonio Reyes to give Olibondeka a share of the spoils at Huangse Migong.

It's a pair of results that has allowed Group 3’s top seeds Cabo Azure to move four points clear of the second seeded Corsairs, a gap that could lengthen more when the sides face each over in Bao on matchday seven. Perhaps the martial feel of the city will spur this Sargossan side on. If not, a return to Bijiben to face unfancied Olastor should provide some relief. Eight times previously the nation’s have faced each other, with Sargossa triumphing in seven of them. Perhaps it will be the fixture in which Jelic’s charges once again find that balance between attack and defence that so often eludes them.

[Mytanija]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

As a resumption of this storyline, everything you read here is firmly in the past. Thank you fluid time, so much to answer for.

Rain was falling. Sometimes, in Brigham, it felt like the rain never stopped. The broken tarmac of the road was soaked, and the potholes were filling up, soon to overflow. Water dripped off the overhangs of the shopfronts. The streets were lit by the yellow glow from within, neon signs flickering every so often and casting intermittent flashes of red, blue and green on the wet pavement. The sky above was obscured by towering clouds but were that visible to the human eye the onlooker would see an eerie purple-black colour. Pathetic fallacy is overdone sometimes, but when it comes to some of Eura’s sprawling metropolises it is a very real feature which only adds to the perpetual sense of grey which underlines a sense of feeling small amidst the physical scale of the locale and its population.

The sound of rain is occasionally punctuated by footsteps on the wet paving, people rushing around, trying their utmost to avoid getting sodden in the downpour. The chatter from some of the bars filters out to the street every so often, whilst the smell of grilled food lies heavy on the air, aimed at tempting the inebriated clientele nearby inside after a few beers. One of the takeaways on the street has been imaginatively christened ‘Thessia Grill’ and the sound of laughter can be heard from inside, where a group of teenagers can be seen holding court, eating from greasy cardboard boxes and drinking from brightly coloured aluminium cans. The staff behind the counter appear slightly nervous, keeping a watchful eye on the group’s behaviour.

The group of six range in age from about 14 to 19, the two youngest are boys, stood at either side of the table where the older four are sat. There is adrenaline pumping, bravado thick in the air, albeit with a slightly tense feeling… Of people trying to work out exactly what to do next. Nikola is the oldest of the group, with a shaven head and a colourful tattoo blossoming from underneath his t shirt up his neck. Pauk¹ is wiry, slightly lanky, a trait which earned him the nickname. Usten is the biggest of the lot, a couple of years younger than the other two but carrying a lot of muscle and a stern look across his face. Finally, there is the only girl in the group, Marijanjela, a fiery and fierce young woman who can more than hold her own with her testosterone filled peers.

“Man, you lot, you see what we did back there? That’s what I’m talking about! Like clockwork. You guys should listen to me more and things would go a lot smoother around here. This is how we get, shit, done! All of Stevan and his boys’ gear and some cash too.”

“Yeah man, we did it!” Pauk smirks. “Those fools won’t know what hit them. You were right Nikola, with Leo out of the game we have to do things differently.”

“And they won’t catch us either, not with the moves we pulled back there!” Usten laughs, flashing a devilish grin. “I’m telling ya, that was easy pickings, nobody’s going to mess with us after they hear about this.”

“True that, Usten.” Nikola nods. “We had to show that even with Leo gone that this is our turf and that we’re not gonna let anyone come in to start cutting in on us. Leo always said that there was a truce, that nobody should be cutting in on anyone’s turf, but Stevan and his boys haven’t been following that truce since Leo went away. We had to do this to show we aren’t going to be messed with.”

“Did you see how Usten smashed that kid up?” Pauk laughs, before miming punching an invisible opponent. “Left, right, goodnight.”

“Light work for me, man.” Usten smiles. “You know I’ve been boxing since young. Setting that gaff on fire was a sick idea though, they won’t be able to go back there for ages… Did you see how they all ran once Niko pulled the strap² out?”

“Light work is right man,” Nikola smiles. “You lot better be careful now though, they’ll come looking for us you know.”

“Yeah.” Marijanjela pipes up for the first time, interrupting the brash atmosphere with some level-headed observation. “We better had be careful. Stevan and his boys aren’t stupid, whatever we might say about them now. They’re gonna want to come back at us. And whoever they get their gear from is going to want it back too. We need to work out what we’re going to do with it.”

“Sell it, obviously!” Pauk rolled his eyes.

“Obviously sell it, you idiot.” Marijanjela says witheringly. “This guy, man. Niko we need to work out what we’re going to do quickly. Do we flood the market? Do we try lie low and cut it a bit? What do you think? We have to decide tonight, because tomorrow that lot are going to be hunting us down. They might have started already.”

“Marij, mate,” Nikola starts, charisma and confidence positively oozing from his voice, or at least trying to. “I love you, you’re the brains of the bunch, but tonight all we gotta do is relax and celebrate a well-earned win. We’ve got a bag full of gear and we’ve got their cash… One of these lads is gonna count it for us and tomorrow we’re going to work out what to do. For now, let’s have a good night.

“I don’t know man—” Marijanjela starts.

“No,” Nikola interrupts. “Tonight, let’s have a good night. Now Leo is gone I’m going to run this, so you lot need to listen to me. Got it?”

“Yeah, got it Niko.” Pauk says immediately.

“Definitely.” Usten chips in.

“Marij? You got it?” Nikola looks directly in Marijanjela’s eyes.

“Yeah, I got it man.” Marijanjela replies, although it is clear she is not fully happy with the conclusion.

“Good.” Nikola says, smiling widely. “And don’t worry so much Marij, I’ve got eyes everywhere. They’ll take a few days to recover from this, but we’ll know if they even breathe our way.”

The group go back to their happier conversation, with the two younger kids leaving and the older four remaining, with the occasional customer coming in and ordering food as they talk in excitable tones about anything from Fran Prpic-Bosanac’s overhead kick winner to up and coming artists Otskok Soundsystem’s next warehouse rave. The night draws in further but the rain never stops outside. It continues to pour.

The discussion between Nikola, Marijanjela, Pauk and Usten is abruptly cut short as vehicle engines roar and tyres screech in the street outside Thessia Grill, invading the small, yellow-lit eatery.

“You lot hear that?” Usten frowns.

“Yeah, doesn’t sound right.” Marijanjela says, tensely, half standing to peer outside.

“Probably nothing, Pauk go have a look, man.” Nikola says, eyeing the entrance, slightly less confident than before. Pauk obeys, standing slowly, his spindly frame casting long shadows in the cramped space of the takeaway.

“I’ll go check it out,” Pauk ventures nervously. “Stay here, yeah?”

As Pauk moves towards the door, the tension in the room intensifies and Nikola, Marijanjela and Usten exchange nervous glances. Nikola’s hand inches towards the pistol concealed in the waistband of his jeans. Pauk cautiously pushes the door open and steps outside. The night air is thick with uncertainty and the heavy rain only adds to the sense of foreboding. Pauk scans the darkened street from the pavement, trying to identify the source of the screeching tyres so he can let the rest of the group rest easy. He wanted Niko to be right more than ever.

BANG!

Suddenly a hail of gunfire erupts from the darkness, bullets whistling through the night air. Pauk edges back towards the door, but then one bullet rips through his neck, whipping his head around to face the other three inside the takeaway. More bullets smash into his flesh and his body jerks as it hits the ground, leaving a pool of blood collecting on the wet pavement. Inside the takeaway the other three freeze in terror.

“Pauk!” Usten shouts, panic-stricken. Nikola rushes to the window, using his hand to reduce the glare from the yellow light inside.

“Fuck!” Nikola yells. “It’s Stevan!”

“We gotta move!” Marijanjela screams. “Now!”

Marijanjela pulls Usten’s arm and the trio bolt towards the back of the takeaway, ducking under the counter as the terrified staff cower and scream as chaos ensues. Bullets shatter the windows and chip away at the walls, one smashing a commemorative plate celebrating Olympic Thessia’s 27/28 1. Prvenstvo win. The three scramble into the kitchen area at the rear of the building, desperately seeking an escape route. Steam from sizzling pans and the clatter of pots and pans provides a vaguely otskok soundtrack for their frantic retreat.

“We need to get out of here!” Usten shouts, breathing heavily and clutching his shoulder, where blood is slowly turning his white t shirt crimson.

“Shit! You were hit, Usten!” Marijanjela says, panicked. “Pauk’s gone, Nikola, gone!”

“I know,” Nikola says quietly, trying to steady his trembling hands. “We’ve got to keep moving, keep going!”

“Back door, right now, let’s go.” Marijanjela replies, providing clarity of thought amidst the madness. The three slip into the dimly lit alley behind the row of shops, their breathing still ragged. The distant sound of sirens approaches, but their immediate concern is escaping, lest they befall the same fate as Pauk. Marijanjela calmly instructs them: “Keep low, stay quiet, keep moving.”

They make their way through the dark alleyways, darting between large wastebins and discarded creates. The echoes of their footsteps are masked by the chaos behind them. Finally, they emerge onto a side street, Nikola looking around to ensure they’re safe. The trio are now the opposite of the bravado they displayed when discussing their success, panting and dishevelled instead. Usten’s shirt is stained with blood.

“Usten, are you going to be okay with that man?!” Nikola says, worried.

“It’s just a scratch Niko, I’ll be okay, we just gotta find a safe spot.”

“Where do we go from here, Nikola?” Marijanjela says, whilst keeping a lookout, her eyes anxiously darting between the shadows.

“Leo had a safehouse not far from here, nobody knew about it. We’ll have to lay low for a while and get Usten patched up.” Nikola says, trying to regain a bit of composure. They move cautiously through the darkened streets, their head on a swivel. The sirens draw nearer, but thankfully Stevan and his gang are nowhere in sight.

Back at the takeaway, Stevan walks in, tall and in his mid-twenties, older than the kids who had robbed him. He looks around, before spotting a bag underneath the table where they had been sat and smiles.

“A good night for my boys…” he smirks, before looking towards the staff behind the counter, crouched for their safety. “Nobody better grass! No word to the cops! Or this place gets burnt out! I hope you lot understand!”

Stevan picks up the bag and smiles again, revelling in his triumphant recovery. Then, a sudden wave of unease washes over him. He glances around the trashed takeaway and the remnants of the chaotic hail of gunfire from seconds before, with the eerie silence and calm of the room unnerving. The sound of sirens wakes him from his unease, and he bolts towards the door with the bag in hand.

“Let’s go!” He yells, rushing back towards the pair of cars he and his gang had arrived in. They pile into the vehicles and once again the tyres screech on the tarmac, sending water droplets everywhere as they spin away. As the cars speed off the street erupts in chaos. Onlookers from the bars nearby rush out, drawn by the chaos which had just interrupted their evenings. Women gasp in horror at the sight of Pauk’s lifeless body sprawled on the pavement.

“Someone call an ambulance!” A woman, rushing towards Pauk, screams. “He needs help! Call an ambulance!”

The commotion intensifies as the gravity of the situation sinks in and the sirens draw closer. Bystanders gather around, their voices a cacophony of fear and disbelief. Pauk lies motionless, a symbol of the brutal violence that plagues the streets of this immigrant community. People are tired of the terror.

¹ ‘Pauk’ is not his given name, but a nickname. It means spider in Thessian and he is called this because he has long, gangly limbs, like a spider. He doesn’t have eight of them, however.
² A strap is what the cool kids call a gun. Their having guns is a problem, obviously, but the Mytanar immigrant community seemingly treats it with the same respect that people reserved for those trailers before films at the cinema: ‘you wouldn’t steal a car… you wouldn’t steal a movie’ etc etc.

[Nephara]

Nephara 2 - 0 República Guanacasteca
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 2 - Holden (17 - Swain), 5 - Roback, 6 - Scales, 3 - Xu; 13 - Brewer, 4 - Gale, 24 - Sebold (8 - Anhope), 11 - Loeher; 9 - Kulesza, 21 - Vetiver (23 - Tjaden)
Goals: Kulesza, Xu

Rea San Vegas 0 - 1 Nephara
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 17 - Swain, 5 - Roback, 6 - Scales, 3 - Xu; 13 - Brewer, 4 - Gale, 8 - Anhope (26 - Fang), 16 - Drnaso; 9 - Kulesza (14 - Berenguer), 23 - Tjaden
Goal: Tjaden

Nephara 2 - 0 Mytanija
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 2 - Holden, 5 - Roback, 6 - Scales, 3 - Xu; 13 - Brewer (7 - Drake), 4 - Gale (15 - Constantine), 24 - Sebold, 11 - Loeher; 9 - Kulesza (14 - Berenguer), 21 - Vetiver
Goals: Kulesza, Brewer

Darmen 2 - 2 Nephara
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 2 - Holden, 5 - Roback, 6 - Scales, 3 - Xu; 13 - Brewer, 4 - Gale (15 - Constantine), 24 - Sebold (7 - Drake), 11 - Loeher; 9 - Kulesza, 21 - Vetiver
Goals: Sebold, Brewer

Nephara 1 - 0 The Kytler Peninsulae
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 2 - Holden, 5 - Roback (19 - Copperhead), 6 - Scales, 25 - Mueller; 13 - Brewer, 4 - Gale, 24 - Sebold (8 - Anhope), 11 - Loeher; 9 - Kulesza (14 - Berenguer), 21 - Vetiver
Goal: Gale

Nephara 3 - 1 Eastfield Lodge
(4-4-2) 20 - Longstreet; 2 - Holden, 5 - Roback, 22 - Vine, 3 - Xu; 13 - Brewer (7 - Drake), 4 - Gale (19 - Rosziter), 24 - Sebold, 11 - Loeher; 14 - Berenguer, 21 - Vetiver
Goals: Vetiver, Berenguer, Vetiver

THE HERALD
VIVI LEADS BY EXAMPLE TO CONQUER LATEST LAZY NARRATIVE
Sisi Sharpe Football Correspondent

Four entire games without a goal should not cause a meltdown, but this is the Cormorants fandom, and this is the era of Felixe Vetiver. It is hard to think of a group of people more prone to the boom-bust cycle.

Vetiver had not even played poorly, and the side had played well. Workmanlike, straightforward results grinded out against all-comers, bar a loss of control to Darmen. Seona Gale has been magnificent throughout the tournament, imperious in possession and relentless in winning it back, and appears the world-class defensive midfielder Nephara have been crying out for. Chary Longstreet, for her part, has been exceptional between the posts. And the rest of the team still just works.

But Vivi had not scored in four games - the full tournament, given that she had been rested against San Vegas - and this was, inevitably, the end of the world. We Nepharim like to think of ourselves as a pragmatic, clear-eyed people, but that small mini-drought led to all manner of hysteria.

The theory that picked up the most momentum was the 'short season' theory; that Vetiver had thrived for Nephara while playing in the National League on account of its relatively few games per season, and that, having made the move to Spartangrad, this edge has eroded. 'She looks tired', it insisted. 'Her edge has gone'.

Disregard the fact that she broke through in the cauldron of the First Division, thrust into the spotlight of 38 league games leading the line as a teenager. Disregard the fact that almost every Nepharan striker of note winds up heading to Eura at some point, with the inevitability of dying stars. Disregard the fact that, again, she hadn't actually played poorly.

Disregard it all, because it's not worth engaging with the debate. Vetiver put it to rest herself, taking the Eastfield Lodge by the throat and slamming them into the floor in a commanding 3-1 win. Early on, it seemed the match might be a banana skin; a defensive mix-up between Tamiika Vine, in for Scales through suspension, and Longstreet allowed the Lodge's striker to nip in and score, just seventeen minutes in.

It did not last. Nephara did not panic, though the fans had started to - this side was hardly prolific, compared especially to the uncharacteristically freewheeling Graintfjall who have rapidly become the neutrals' favourites this tournament - and just six minutes later, Madita Brewer darted into space, cut a low pass into the box, and from absolutely nowhere Vetiver ghosted in and rifled it home.

In stoppage time Vetiver broke clear after a Lodge attack broke down, before playing Leandra Berenguer, who had actually had a quiet tournament thus far, off the shoulder of the last man. One-on-one with the goalkeeper, the Brinemouth striker made no mistake.

With an assist on her card, Vetiver added to her record with just about everything other than a goal; she hit a post, she had a goal ruled out for offside - correctly and clearly, it must be said - she forced a world-class save from the Lodge goalkeeper, before finally, skipping into the outskirts of the box with defenders standing off her, she said 'fuck it' (literally; replay cameras could, in fact, pick out her muttering the phrase before striking the ball) and curled an unsavable shot high and hard into the top corner. 3-1, narrative dead, time to move on. But a sigh of relief from all concerned. The three points were nice, but not having to see another thinking emoji in relation to Vetiver's form is priceless.

[Polar Islandstates]

SOUR CHERRIES
Part iiii
A monologue, orated into the void
i - ii - iii - iiii - v - vi - vii.a) - vii.b) - vii.c) - vii.d) - vii.e) - vii.f) - vii.g) - viii
Volume Two
** ** ** ** **

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9 Days Ago
Back To Winning Ways!

And long may it continue! Hey everyone, just got back from watching the game down the pub with my new work colleagues. I fear they may have seen another side of me that they didn't previously understand before today, but then, that's what last minute winners and five pints of Grogg can do to a man. I might get some teasing at lunchtime tomorrow but, who cares, eh? Matteus Henschen, if you're ever reading this, I'm blaming you for any workplace bullying that might occur!

Okay, so, maybe I'm still a bit drunk... but, I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait to get my thoughts down on paper! I honestly love these international tournaments. I know we shouldn't expect too much of the Terns too early, and I know it wasn't exactly a classic match (they never are under Miroshnichenko), but I just can't help myself. My great uncle tells great stories about going abroad to follow the Terns during those golden years - he was actually there when we lost to Eura in the final of the World Cup - and even he can see something of that great team in today's crop. Pallasmaa... honestly, what do you even say about that man at this point? What a pass, what a performance, what a man! I'm going to be crushed if his move abroad goes ahead, and I say that as a Surtsey fan! He'll just be that big of a loss to Divisjon One!

From where I was sat, it was a pretty good all round performance to be honest. Eisenhauer didn't manage to take any of his chances, which is a bit disappointing as I'm sure he scores those every time against the Gulls, but Nylund is turning into the hub of this attack, and brought Mortensen into the game beautifully for our opener. And that cross-field diagonal from Mortensen to Kowaleski! Chef's kiss. Actually, that might have been even better than Pallasmaa's for Henschen's winner... They must practise the long balls hard in Bjarnarey, I guess. Come to think of it, since when were Aasiaat that good? Sorry, Isle Noire; but you got hit with the Bjarnarey to Aasiaat one-two jab and upper cut!

Anyway, I should probably drink to bed and go to a tall glass of water, I'm exhausted and half-hoarse from all the screaming. Catch you later.

Laters,
Art.
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8 Days Ago
Lunchtime Update

In case you were interested, only some light teasing. Mostly, everyone is too hungover to talk too loudly. But, hey, at least my co-workers know I'm not always the quiet guy they know from the office eh? Maybe I'll come out of my shell a bit more when I get to know them better. It's hard to believe it's only been two weeks since I started.

Oh, and the cute boy in reception appears to know my name now at least. So. I don't know. Not exacftly 'progress', per se. But... something? I don't know. I wonder if he likes football, actually. Maybe I could see if he wants to watch the next game with us...

Hmm...

Laters,
Art.
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6 Days Ago
Humpday

God Wednesdays are boring. I've managed to sneak away early at least, so I'll be hitting up the gym for a quick session there and to use their shower before going to the late-night barbershop. Still no luck getting my shower to work unfortunately. I can't afford a plumber at the moment after Sammy's vets bill last month but, hopefully once my first paycheque clears? I suppose I could cancel my gym membership but then where would I shower in the meantime? A modern dilemma, eh?

Anyway, the Terns are playing soon, so I'm looking forward to that. Love how quickly the games come around at the Copa. It's just wall to wall football. Blink, and the Terns are back!

Catch you later.

Laters,
Art.
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5 Days Ago
HUGE NEWS

'Reception Boy' has a name, and it is Jakkub. Swoon. It would appear that all I needed to do to get him to reeeeally notice me was to get a dramatic undercut. That was enough to get him to start a conversation, and ol' blue eyes here managed to not trip over my own tongue for once in my miserable life! I didn't dare tell him I only did the undercut myself after the barbers botched my trim. I need him to think I'm cool.

Well. I need him to fancy me, to be honest. And to be gay, firstly. So I suppose he can think I'm uncool in a cute way if he wants.

If he wants to fancy me then he can think about me however he wants to be honest...

Anyway, he does like football, and he's coming to watch the game with us tomorrow night. So. Who knows. At the very least, I might have made a friend. And I have few enough of those that I'd take some unrequited love if I had to.

See you swoon,

Laters,
Art.
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4 Days Ago
Zzzzzzz, but also: *love heart eyes emoji*

Well that was a game that I will not remember for very long. Mostly because Jakkub and I spent most of it talking in the corner of the bar. Eeeeee! Swoon, swoon, and did I mention, swoon? I don't want to jinx it but, good grief. Big sigh. Big swoon. His eyes, you guys. I can't tell you how disappointed I am that I can't just, sneak a picture of his eyes and post them on here, but.. I guess I can describe them? Imagine a pool of deepest blue, icy, like fresh melt collecting in a glacier, and then imagine me, swimming around in the middle because I was LOST IN THEM. Good heavens. Also, did I mention swoon? And he's just so easy to talk to! Honestly, I found it easier to talk to him than I do to talk to you guys, and as a certified introvert, that's a huge deal. I got actual butterflies. God, I am such a clicky. Clicky? Clishy? Whatever the spelling is. I am it. And, like I said, I don't want to jinx it, but, I think I got a little bit of a... vibe?

It's possible I'm reading too much into it.

Don't want to get too excited.

Speaking of which:

Miroshnichenko. I'm sorry pal, but it's time to go. Nyowani KItara are a good side, I know that, but... this was not a point to celebrate. This was a point to grit your teeth and hold onto. Maybe it was the lack of booze compared to the Isle Noire game but, man. That was a difficult watch.

His tactics are slow. His tactics are boring. His tactics are only barely mitigated by the fact some of these players occasionally disregard their instructions to go walkabout and do something individual. I'm sorry, I know it worked for him at East Franz but, he could use the transfer market to pick the right players for the job, there. Here, short of reassembling that team and making them play in dark blue? Nah. Doesn't work. You can't make a square peg do things a round hole needs.

It's insipid.

My patience is at an end.

So, I'm sorry. But, if you've made a mild-mannered soft boy from Orebro start swearing at you, sober, then... time to go, Iosef. Go before you're pushed, would be my advice, but by the looks of it he's too stubborn to do that and the VFA are too toothless to do anything about it. It's grating. If we do make the knockouts from here, which, with games against Græntfjall and Tikariot still to come and Pasarga and Valladares breathing down our necks, would be a miracle, then it will be despite him, and not because of him. And, ask yourself, is that a position you want to be in with your principal tactician?

Just get out, man. Get out now.

Sorry. This post started so positively, and now I'm just whinging about the national team manager. Such is football's power to ruin your life. I'm not even sure I'm looking forward to the next game now. Unless Jakkub comes to watch it with me. Maybe something other than a bar this time, surrounded by colleagues...

Miroshnichenko out.

Laters,
Art.
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3 Days Ago
I'm... famous?

What on earth you guys?! Where did those numbers come from?!

That last blog about Miroshnichenko absolutely BLEW UP overnight. I don't know who resposted it or on what site but... I'm like, near the top of search results across the entire nation when you search fo Miroshnichenko with regards to that game.

This is insane! Even as I type, I can see the viewing figures going up.

Thanks, algorithm! Or, whoever tweaked it in my favour, I guess?

Laters,
Art.
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2 Days Ago
SWOON

Managed to carefully 'drop' into conversation with Jakkub on my way in this morning that my blog about Miroshnichenko had gone crazy, and we started talking about... something. I can't remeber. I think I was too busy lost in his eyes again. And I could feel myself blushing it was so emnbarrassing. Which made it even harder to stop blushing.

Anyway, I snapped back into the land of the living when he said something about being free for lunch tomorrow so he could show me some websites he thinks I'd like.

FREE FOR LUNCH.

AAAAAAARGH.

Oh my god, wait. What if he wants to see this blog. Eek.

Mm. Cross that bridge when I come to it. Catch you later. Can't post a big one today as I've got something to go to later on, something about passing my trial period!

Man. What a day. Things are looking up...

Laters,
Art.
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1 Day Ago
Omg you guys, was that a date?!

First of all, welcome to all my new followers! I don't know if you only came for the Miroshnichenko post but, it won't always be like that. Sorry. Mostly it's just going to be swooning over Jakkub so, if that's not your thing, apologies in advance.

Anyway. Lunch was a HUGE success. I think. Again, the eyes...

I looked at some websites he showed me, he looked at some websites I showed him... we both were too polite to say we were already intimate with almost all of the websites we were showing each other... I caught some smirks from other co-workers who were passing the canteen but, honestly, stuff them. I took being teased about the Isle Noire game, I can take a bit of teaasing about an office crush.

Orrrrrr, office romance?

I mean, again, I'm going back to not jinxing things, but I mentioned the next game coming up and Jakkub said the bar was a bit too noisy for him to really hear me or the commentary, and he'd enjoy just casually coming round to mine to watch it. Y'know. Casually. Inviting himself round. To my flat. A man. On my sofa. Thor's beard. I think I'm melting a little just at the idea.

SO, my question to you lot, if that was a date, what is this going to be? I have NO idea. I am SUCH a country boy oh my god. These things don't happen to guys like me. Good grief. I'm melting. I'm hot under the collar. I'm absolutely faling for this guy and I'm fairly certain he likes me too. I'm doing well at work. The Terns are, despite Miroshnichenko, in with a shout of our first knockout football in thirty-odd years. Times are good.

And also, did I mention: swoon?

Grinning from ear to ear.

OH MY GOD. I need to get my shower fixed...

Laters,
Art.
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6 Hours Ago
Should I start getting into politics?

Just an idea. Or at the very least, paying attention to it... Hello to all you new followers, by the way.

I was just looking at some of these websites Jakkub (eeee) showed me the other day when we had lunch together (eeeeee), because I want to appear interesting and thoughtful and able to talk to him about his interests when he comes around tomorrow evening (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee), and some of them are pretty good.

There's this politics one though, which, I don't know where Jakkub stands on anything politically, but there was a bit of an analysis video of a speech that the Secretary General gave a week or so ago in Torshavn. I don't remember him doing anything like that, you'd have thought it would be news but, maybe I don't pay enough attention to the news I guess. Or, oh hang on, maybe it was during the game against Glazog. That would make sense. Anyway, he was saying some pretty inspiring things. Mostly.

At the end, he sort of went into this rant about how we should stick together and just trust him and... I don't know. It felt kinda... off. Don't get me wrong, I do trust him... I think... and I know I didn't vote at the last election because, what's the point, right? The Party were going to get in anyway? But. I feel like I'd like the option to be able to vote?

Take a look and see what you think. I get the impression my blog and his speech don't exactly have the same target audience, so I'd be interested in what you guys reckon. Doesn't seem like anyone is talking about him much these days, which is odd as he's been in charge for absolutely ages.

Anyway, I've got to go. Being launched into a big new project at work tomorrow, and I need to get some rest!

Laters,
Art.
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38 Minutes Ago
A Message

I'm going to stop posting on my blog. Goodbye.

Artur.
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** ** ** ** **
Volume Two
i - ii - iii - iiii - v - vi - vii.a) - vii.b) - vii.c) - vii.d) - vii.e) - vii.f) - vii.g) - viii

[Graintfjall]

Græntfjall – 5 (2)
Hanif (45’ Sana ); Hermione (45’ Harmony ), Friðjón, Asbjørn, París; Kristmar, Danny; Amandara (48’) (64’ Lotte ), Kæja (c) (40’), Sara V (63’) (79’ Rebekka ); Járngrímur (9’) (65’ Benjamín (78’))

Pasarga – 3 (1)
Biró (32’), Sebeôk (83’), Madrigal López (90’)

---

Southwest Eastnorth – 0 (0)
Barnettssonsson* (24’ o.g.)

Græntfjall – 1 (1)
Ásólfur; Harmony (45’ Harmony ), Friðjón (87’ Asbjørn ), Glóa, París; Hrútur, Lotte; Rebekka (64’ Amandara ), Kæja (c) (66’) (69’ Sarína ), Varða; Járngrímur (45’ Benjamín )

Body modification is prohibited

Article posted on the ambiguously capitalized sports analytics blog StatsPunk.

Snow Wolves’ Ink: A Translated Guide

Græntfjall expected a tight gritty thriller against Pasarga, and instead hammered five goals past them, with two late consolations softening the scoreline but not the tone of the match. They expected a free-flowing goalfest against Southwest Eastnorth, and couldn’t find the net without the help of SWEN striker Ulysses Barnettssonsson, trying – and failing – to help out defending a corner. And after six games, the Snow Wolves have already guaranteed qualification to the Copa Rushmori finals. Yet again, perhaps, a case of defying expectations. While entering the tournament highly ranked – seeded first in the region, second in the world – the particular circumstances of this tournament seemed to bode very ill for the Snow Wolves. The Celestial Empire of Naixi is known for many things – its suppression of free speech, its profligate use of marijuana, its absolute prohibition of alcohol. But it is also known for its laws against tattooing and body modification. And the Snow Wolves are well known for being (mostly) tall, (mostly) blonde – but even the non-tall, non-blonde players sport tattoos. One of, if not the most, heavily inked sides in world football was heading to a country that considers the displaying of body ink a crime.

What could possibly go wrong?

Tattooing has a long tradition in Græntfjall, in some historians’ estimation dating back a millennium to the first Viking settlers. The practice fell into decline in the 20th century when proscribed by the Communist Union on similar grounds to the present laws in Naixi, but has rebounded strongly: estimates suggest more than 50% of Græntfjallers under the age of 50 sport a tattoo, while online dating app Tinðr has released data showing that possessing a tattoo is a highly desired trait among post-millennial Græntfjallers seeking love, romance, and butt stuff. While ‘traditional’ designs often incorporate runes and mythological or Viridian Catholic imagery (historians are keen to stress such designs are really neotraditional and date from recent, Romantic reimaginings of Græntfjaller history) a new, highly popular trend has swept the nation – and the national football team – for Lǜshānese** characters. The popularity of Yue footballers, several of whom became household names back when the Græntfjaller Premier League didn’t suck ass, and generally close relations with the United Republics, with a strong immigrant community in the northern megapolis, have contributed to the growth of interest in logograms.

However, the explosion in popularity really took off when internationally renowned*** publishers Cabañas Calligraphy issued their book 我的气垫船里装满了鳗鱼, and Other Useful Household Phrases. When prominent celebrities began sporting tattoos clearly derived from what linguists have charitably described as the book’s “organic” and “flexible” approach to translation, the craze really took off. For tournament organizers in Naixi, of course, this situation might reflect all the more poorly on the Snow Wolves side, who openly bear not just the crosses and hammers of traditional Græntfjaller iconography, but characters in the Celestial Empire’s own language that watching fans can actually read. Let’s look at some of the examples.

1. Danny Oddkellsson

手淫獾

The Maethoru SC midfielder learned his craft at Steinaux under legendary Yue midfielder Li Jing, whose opinion on Oddkellsson’s decision to honor his mentorship by getting a prominent neck tattoo is, at this time, unknown.

According to Oddkellsson, the tattoo means “strength and harmony”, and symbolizes the traits he learned from Li and sought to bring to bear in his career. Enjoying reasonable success with his club after a difficult first season in Ko-oren, Oddkellsson has the distinction of being one of just three Græntfjallers to score in a World Cup final (the others being national legends Sara Kristoffersdóttir and Jason Þórhallursson shows what esteemed company he is in). Strength and harmony, indeed!

2. Aríela Hjörleifsdóttir

我现在不在办公室
请发送任何需要翻译的作品

Aríela Hjörleifsdóttir is the only member of the Snow Wolves squad to have played in Naixi, after spending a loan year with Xue, though she is yet to see much playing time in this tournament. Nor is her tattoo as immediately obvious as Oddkellsson’s, being on her ribcage and visible only with her shirt removed. An occasional flash while changing into her match shirt against Southwest Eastnorth as she warmed up on the sideline, only to go unused as a substitute, nonetheless demonstrated her time in Xue had made an impression on her.

“I never learned the language, I was only here for a year,” she admits. “But the country definitely made an impression on me, and when I got back to Græntfjall, I sent a request for a translation of a very meaningful phrase that made a big impact on me.”

3. Kristmar Raknarsson

狗的呼吸
奶酪乳頭
電陰囊

The hulking form of a Big Fucking Græntfjaller might seem a strange place to find the poetry of foreign and mysterious lands, but Kristmar Raknarsson has never been entirely conventional. He chose to get his three children’s names tattooed in his arm in traditional Yue script, after being “moved by the plight of the Yue people in fighting for their freedom”. He admits his children cannot themselves read the script but all like the design, especially 狗的呼吸 (his daughter, Dagmar). “She thinks it’s such a pretty way of writing her name.”

4. París Vilgeirsdóttir

生活带来您时柠檬做柠檬水

We are unable to offer a translation of Paris’s tattoo as we have absolutely never seen this lettering before.

5. Ásólfur Nilsson

你知道神聖帝國參加過第一屆世界杯嗎？

A suitably lengthy tattoo for a suitably lengthy man. Ásólfur Nilsson has not enjoyed a perfect tournament, conceding goals at such an alarming rate that he was dropped for the key encounter with Pasarga. A less modest man might claim defensive failings and aggressive football leading to counterpunches were more to blame than any personal error on his part, but he evidently enjoyed his time off, being pictured sunbathing on the roof of the team hotel in Qiawutian, where his large tattoo on his chest was visible. He cryptically refuses to reveal the meaning of the tattoo saying only that it speaks of “ancient wisdom” that is “known only to a very select few”.

6. Sara Vatnarsdóttir

이건 중국산이 아냐, 이 바보야

Legions of articles have been written about how different a player and a person Sara V is to her namesake Sara K, but something they both have in common is having tattoos, and having acquired extra ink while playing in Chromatika. Now with Serrapince in Tumbra, Sara V acquired a prominent arm tattoo while playing for Urrheddiao.

7. Rebekka Kajsdóttir

作為一個大型語言模型，我無法提供這個短語的翻譯

Still one of the youngest Snow Wolves and enjoying stellar form in Nephara, Rebekka has never been shy about showing off her tattoos since she was a teenager first breaking onto the scene. The pacy winger seems to have more of a place in the side in the 4–2–3–1 the Snow Wolves have shifted to after the 4–4–2 experiment led to too many defensive failings, and she could start amassing caps as a key part of this new look side. And doing so while sporting a complex tattoo on her shoulderblade. The mystical poem, she says, was personally translated for her by Cabañas Calligraphy.

Hermione Hui also has a notable tattoo but refused cooperation with this article as hers is actually correctly translated.

* The concept of generational suffixes is unknown in Græntfjall, and therefore in order to distinguish names, crude conversions of native naming systems are sometimes used.
** Lǜshānese is approximately equivalent to both Yue and Naixi Chinese.
*** At no point in this article it is suggested they are renowned for being good.

[Eura]

COPA RUSHMORI 44 – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 5
Pridnestrovia 0–1 Eura
Scorers:
Sharp 16
Lineup:
30. S Norman
2. A Mason
4. J Menard
5. Q Phillips
23. I Doherty (sub Taylor 90)
6. J Gates (sub Matthews 67)
28. F Brown
16. B Malone (sub Guta 78)
20. T Roberts
9. A Sharp (sub Sherwood 85)
14. K Archer (sub Pearce 90)

COPA RUSHMORI 44 – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 6
Eura 4–1 Oberour Ar Moro
Scorers:
James 42, 49, 77, Miller 35
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
21. K Mills
4. J Menard (sub Hart 62)
5. Q Phillips (sub Pearce 66)
3. M Taylor
29. L Coates
8. O Vincent
11. O James
7. A Woodman (sub Brown 90+3)
10. S Singh (sub Holden 56)
17. T Miller (sub Bedford 89)

---

“You ever think you’re in the wrong profession?”
Daeder looked up from his touchpad, his rain soaked jacket hood no longer protecting it. He had posed a question with an obvious answer in the circumstances.
“Yeah” replied Belos, setting himself up for a more expansive response but never quite finding the words for it.
The two Brigham Metropolitan Police detectives stared down at the gruesome sight in front of them. The corpse lay still by the side of a busy thoroughfare, in a puddle of fluids stemming from an unholy trinity - the human body, Brigham’s urban grime, and the south Euran weather. The victim’s blood and guts were decorating the pavement like some kind of morbid street art. When you think of the term ‘gunned down’, this should be what comes to mind.

“I don’t get it. This is gangland, right?”
“What else would it be!”
“So why the mess? You’d think they’d just cut his throat or put one in the back of his skull in some alleyway.”
“They could have done that. But maybe they wanted to make a point.”
“Whomever ‘they’ is.”
“Well, that’s where we come in.”
Belos and Daeder were both experienced police officers with experience in very different policing contexts. Daeder came from Euran and Austroslovakian stock and had been a junior officer in Graz until becoming disillusioned with the autocracy and fleeing for Eura – though he had no intention of returning even now the regime was gone.

Belos did not like to talk about his past particularly. He was a Sameban, the most Sameban of Samebans given that he grew up in suburban Samebus to a well off family. His peaceful inclinations and intellectual curiosity kept him out of the army, until he was conscripted as his homeland’s disastrous all-or-nothing strike on Eura went increasingly sideways.
He had survived famine, strategic bombing of his home city, and had seen plenty of death and destruction. Belos eventually found a good opportunity to surrender and went on to use his skills to become a police officer in the Provisional Government’s occupation. When that fell apart, he moved south and made Brigham his home. He still habitually checked under his car and would never risk a one night stand with a potential honey trap, but by and large Belos had made it through unscathed.

All this meant he had a stomach for this kind of thing, as did Daeder. But that didn’t mean he wanted the poison of armed violence to come to his new home.
And yet that was exactly what was happening to Brigham. Guns were suddenly everywhere, and the gangs of the city were increasingly willing to use them.
“What’s the deal” came a voice from behind them, “do we know anything?” Both men sharpened up as they realised it was Wallace, the head of their section and Detective Inspector.
Daeder took the lead. He was the usually talkative one after all. “Adolescent male, pale skin, he is…was…six one, and he’s caught…well, quite a lot of bullets as you can see.”
“I’m guessing he’s a Mytanar.” Wallace glanced upwards towards the sign for the Thessia Grill.
Daeder nodded. “That’s our assumption, eyewitnesses from the other venues on the other side of the road say there was a group of youth’s inside, including this one. Some cars turn up, they come out with weapons-“

Belos chipped in. “Rifles, by the sounds of it. Firing automatic.”
“-oh, yeah, proper little gangsters, probably thought they looked cool spraying and praying. We haven’t done bullet analysis yet but there’s plenty of them lodged in various surfaces inside the takeaway joint.”
“Ugh. What a bloodbath.” Wallace took off his cap and wiped off the accumulated rainwater. “Belos, if I had to guess…ex-SRA weaponry?”
“Probably.” Belos replied in a rather blaise fashion, having long lost the ability to be shocked by where ex-Sameban military hardware could turn up.
Wallace grimaced as he finished surveying the scene and pulled out his phone. “I’ll call the super. One last thing – any talkers from inside? Staff, customers, that sort of thing.”

Wallace’s detectives shook their heads. They didn’t need to explain. Whatever their reasons, this wasn’t the first time Mytanar immigrants had given police the silent treatment, and it would not be the last.
“Alright then. Finish up as soon as you can and leave uniform to keep the site safe.” Wallace turned away from them and rose his phone to his ear to make his call, but not before he’d got in some shouting at the uniformed officers. “Have any of you lot heard of the concept of press photographers? Cover up the body before this lad ends up on the front page of the Herald, you fucking halfwits!”
Daeder and Belos were frustrated. The plague of violence was continuing, and they were passengers, reacting to events as they happened. But they had also gotten used to the disillusionment and would be over it by morning. After all, it was just another dead Mytanar.
And another dead end.

---

“I am sorry, Bob.”
Ilija Leskovar was being genuinely sympathetic to a man who might not have expected it. The prospective Social Party candidate for Brigham Manufactory had never got on with Bob Thomas, the vacating MP. They had argued more than they had agreed on almost every issue you could think of – despite being in the same party. Perhaps if they had more time their relationship could have become more fraternal.
If only. No matter who you are, death puts us all on our back sooner or later. And for Bob that was going to be very soon.
“Thank you Ilija. I’m pleased for you getting this opportunity. I know we have butted heads every now and then, but I do respect your talent immensely. I just wish I could be around to see it.”
“You sound remarkably sanguine about it all Bob. If you don’t mind me asking, how long have they given yo-“
“Not long enough.” Bob’s voice cracked slightly but his smile held. “It’s a bugger. Untreatable. Sods law, eh?”

The two men shared a laugh followed by an awkward silence. Ilija was relieved when Bob broke it to free the younger man of his obligation to take this meeting. “Anyway, I’ve had a good run in this job, let alone life. Time for someone else to have a go. Good luck, Ilija.”
Mortality was dominating Ilija’s mind today. He’d been reading about a brutal murder the night before in his constituency; another killing from his own ethnic community. He had put out a sympathetic twii.tur but that did not feel like remotely enough.
So, he decided to pay a visit with a hastily arranged bouquet of flowers in tow.
He knew the Thessia Grill vaguely. It had been a fixture in the area for a while, though Ilija preferred finer dining options where they were available. In his youth he was less fussy and had probably paid at least one visit.

It looked very different today. Shattered glass littered the street. Police tape blocked off the interior. On the pavement, just a few yards in front of Ilija on the other side of a police barrier, was a dried blood stain that indicated someone had donated gallons of the stuff to Eura’s gutters and had done so recently.
“Did you know him?”
Ilija was taken aback. An elderly woman, small and half covered by a shawl, had gripped his arm and loudly barked the question in his ear.
“Uhh, no, I- I don’t know actually.” He racked his brain. The article he saw hadn’t even given a name., just an age, something ending in ‘-teen’.
“No, probably not.”
“I knew him! Not his name. His face. He was a naughty little thing, always running around with his little gaggle of friends. They made so much trouble. But these days…”
“Trouble gets you shot.”
Granny did a double take. “…yes.”

Ilija separated himself from the old lady as soon as he could and maneuverer around the cordoned off crime scene to try and glean more information.
Until a young police officer squared up in front of him.
“Looking for someone?”
“Oh, no, sorry – I’m, my uh, I’m Ilija. Ilija Leskovar. You may have heard of-“
“Nope. Don’t know, don’t care. Get the fuck back from my crime scene.”
Ilija took slight umbrage at being so rudely cut down by a ‘man’ who looked like he was barely out of diapers. But he wasn’t going to cause an incident, not for this.
“I just want to pay tribute to the young lad. I don’t know him, but I saw he was just a kid really. Can’t I just lay these flowers?”
“Are you deaf? I’m ordering you to back off. Leave them next door or something.”

On another day, Ilija would have raised an almighty fuss about this treatment. He could feel a slow burning anger rising inside him, knowing this wouldn’t be handled in such a way if it were some well off Euran kid who had been killed.
He also had a by-election to win. It would be much harder if he was causing a scene before his candidacy was even announced.
Count to ten, he thought to himself, and let it be. Pick your battles. Think of the longer term.
For a moment he disappeared into his happy place before regaining his smile. He looked the officer up and down and decided to relent. “Sorry, officer. I’ll leave you to your work.”
He searched around looking for an appropriate destination for the flowers, only to find nothing. In the end he opted to find that old lady again and dropped the flowers into her grasp without a word.
Mytanar Brigham was eating itself. Ilija decided here and now that, when the time was right, he’d dedicate everything to doing something about it.

[Captina Island]

Captina maintaining the fight

(TCCPA) Yefei, Naixi--The Captina Island National Football Team earned a second victory in Copa Rushmori 44 here in Naixi by defeating Thibaea 6-2 as Guiseppi Overstreet had a pair of goals and Patience Wedgewood added her fourth of the tournament to stake the Rossi e Oro to a 3-0 first half lead.
Manager Jonas Yarborough used the comfortable advantage to get playing time for other forwards as well as 25 minutes for young Tonia Sue Ellington at leftback. Emilio Rizzuto, Carla Negroni and Charleston DiCanio added to the lead in the second 45 minutes as Captina kept their chances of advancing as one of the top four sides in the group possible.

The following match saw the team fight a tough 1-1 draw against Schutzenphalia & West Ruhntuhnkuhnland to maintain 5th place among the 10 nations in Group 3 and will return for a second match in Yafei against Stvoto Latoli at the Anjing Di Haitan stadium. The 10th seeds have surprised many by holding down 2nd place with 13 points from 6 matches thus far, which will add to the complicated probabilities required for advancement. Captina sit just five points behind their opponent and another pair of results like the previous two could provide the final push.