[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

Everything was still on the line entering the final two matchdays of WC92 Qualifying...and that's all David Seems needed to hear. The Jagaurs of TJUN-ia still had a shot, albeit a small one, of winning this group and a definite shot of beating Mytanija to 2nd in this group and a better shot of making it through via the playoffs. Seems knew that things would be getting stressful, especially with his wife and co-manager's due date drawing nearer, but he also had to hold some sort of confidence that his Jaguars could get it done - someway, somehow. He couldn't give up. Not just before the golden door closes.

Radnika in Esca would host the first of the Final 2 as we faced Mytanija one-on-one with 2nd potentially on the line. This game was big, both sides knew that, and Seems knew that Dzvezdan Kitanchev was going to take this game as seriously as he was going to. The game that was played was an old-school game of football, where both teams tried to outfox the other through any means necessary. Omer Kuhar–Arh would take the lead for the hosts in the 33rd minute, sending the home crowd into a bit of a frenzy, but the manager wasn't going to take that lying down and Malhrani al-Kalhrani managed to equalise just before halftime to keep this game in the balance. Everyone threw out a lot of stuff at the goalies in the 2nd half, trying desperately to score the goal that would mean so much in the end...but both Maximilian Robertson and Semir Besak were just too powerful and in the end, it ended in a 1-1 draw. The group was certainly Tumbra's...but the battle for 2nd would go down to the final day.

And so, back to the National Stadium for what many knew would be the first of two games hosted here in the capital. TJUN-ia City welcomed Tumbra for this final-day game and while Tumbra had already won the group, it was TJUN-ia who had things to fight for here - both 2nd in the group and a very wacky undefeated group stage record. Facing off against the Black Eagles again was always going to be emotional, especially with the black armbands and the minute silence for the bombing in the Northlands before kickoff, but this game would also be emotional in that TJUN-ia finally got to see two icons of the equality movement, Stephen Kerr and Trudy Harrison, play on TJUN-ian soil...with a tifo dedicated to them and the rest of the Nine displayed before the teams came out. But that would be the only joy either Kerr or Harrison found here in the JagBase as David Seems sent a bit of statement for everyone to digest before playoff time. Archer Andrews would take the lead in the 34th, a nice cut behind Kerr that resulted in a header past Nick Barker from a Prince Carter cross, and while Trudy tried to set up the equaliser with Robin Vaughn, it just wasn't to be and an 86th-minute dagger from Kim Choi-ya sealed Tumbra's fate tonight. It wasn't pretty but TJUN-ia had actually managed to go an entire group stage undefeated...10 wins, 10 draws and zero losses. Maybe if we had taken a few more wins, we would be going to the WC...but there is always a 'Plan B'.

The Playoffs are always a wild ride, where your opponent is always going to determine a lot about how things could go. Our opponents this time? Sendhang. The Rice Farmers finished 3rd in Group 11 behind only Chromatika and Ko-oren, which certainly isn't too bad for a fellow Pot 3 team ranked at #46 pre-WCQ. They play a defensive style of football anchored by head coach Teuku Irfan and will certainly hope to break us in the counter once the two-legged affair actually starts. Sendhang hosts first, at the Federal Stadium in Kambang, before we host the decider at the JagBase. We've made it this far without as much as a few scratches...let's hope that this time, the Playoffs can host TJUN-ian joy.

Every time we've made it to the playoffs, TJUN-ia has missed out. Many will hope that this time, things are different.
Time to enter the gauntlet once more.
GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 14)
MD1: vs Talannua (227) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town W 4-2 (T-2nd)
MD2: @Qasden (80) D 3-3 (4th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD3: vs Saltstead (95) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo W 3-0 (2nd)
MD4: @Sixty-ninE X (UR) W 4-2 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD5: vs Ziwana (146) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville D 2-2 (2nd)
MD6: @Cap Nord (176) - SendBank Arena, Stennköping D 3-3 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD7: BYE (3rd)
MD8: vs Cabo Azure (60) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong D 2-2 (5th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD9: @Ancherion (113) W 2-0 (4th)
MD10: vs Mytanija (19) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 2-2 (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD11: @Tumbra (4) D 0-0 (3rd)
MD12: @Talannua (227) - Castaic High School, Castaic D 2-2 (4th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD13: vs Qasden (80) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 6-2 (4th)
MD14: @Saltstead (95) W 2-1 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD15: vs Sixty-ninE X (UR) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa W 1-0 (1st)
MD16: @Ziwana (146) - Ziwanicell National Stadium, Birnin-Likulu D 3-3 (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD17: vs Cap Nord (176) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 4-1 (2nd)
MD18: BYE (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD19: @Cabo Azure (60) D 3-3 (3rd)
MD20: vs Ancherion (113) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico W 7-1 (T-2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD21: @Mytanija (19) - Radnika, Esca D 1-1 (T-2nd)
MD22: vs Tumbra (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 2-0 (2nd/10-10-0/40pts/+26GD)
--------------------------------------------
Playoff vs Sendhang (46/3rd in Group 11)
Leg 1 (@Federal Stadium, Kambang):
Leg 2 (@National Stadium, TJUN-ia City):

[Kimi-Suomi]

No matter what, the final two games would decide Kimi-Suomi's WC fate - qualification, playoffs, elimination, everything was on the line. That fact that we, a nation not really known for making deep runs in tournaments until only recently, were even in this position in the first place, only 2 points behind the leaders with 2 to play, was simply quite remarkable. Esko Laaksonen may be getting a statue no matter what, he's been that clutch. Kaikki ovat olleet kytkimessä... ja koko valtakunta on ollut heidän takanaan koko matkan. No matter what, everyone was so proud of the Huuhkajat and what they'd managed to do as a fucking Pot 5 team...but let's end this, shall we?

Up first...the big one. The final home game of the campaign and also the most important in our history. Pemecutan was at Pesä, with the fate of the group on the line. The crowd was certainly pumped, ready to live or die with the hopes of their Huuhkajat, and the game produced was certainly fitting of its importance. The first half was just pure chaos as both Esko and Surya Agung Pramana threw everything at each other right from the off. Their main weapons were two players in particular, Valtteri Nordström and Pandu Oka Jaya, who both traded blows past Herman Putrawan and Kauko Loukamaa in a breathless 45 minutes which would see everyone need a breather with the scores at 2-2. The 2nd half would see defences shored up and the search for the winner intensify, a winner Jalak Putih managed to grab in the 77th thanks to a splendid free kick from Agus Setiahadi. The game, and the group, belonged to The White Myna...but the home crowd still applauded their players off the pitch nonetheless. They had done them proud...but the job was not yet done.

Entering the final match day, against Tecoinen (Tecoia) on the road, Poafmersia was ahead on GD and Hapilopper was behind by 3 points. 2nd place in the Playoffs was certainly a better position to be in than 3rd and so, that was the goal entering this final game - win against Os Marítimos and hope for Srednjaci to do us a favour. On our end, we ended up with a fucking shootout - a game where defence just went out the window as Kimi-Suomi ended the group stage with a bang. Tero Salo scored first, Nelson de Sa responded, Kimi Airo made it 2-1, de Sa responded again, Teemu Räikkönen came off the bench and made it 3-2, Mariano Simões made it 3-3 before, finally, we managed the winner with 10 minutes to go thanks to Valtteri Nordström. And that was that. 3rd in a group we were expected to finish 5th in. 39 points, 11 wins and only 3 games lost all campaign. It certainly was our best WCQ run by far and a feat that won't be forgotten no matter what happens next...but what lies ahead?

Kelssek. That's who. Group 3 was practically theirs for most of this season, but Nephara took it away from them on GD and GD alone. They may be Pot 3, but their 14 wins prove they are nothing but dangerous. JYK-inen likes to call them the "Nordic Canadians", or "Pohjoismaiset Kanadalaiset", and while they do share similarities with our culture, we must treat them as a foe this time around - Colm Ó Tuathail, Jorge Guardia, all of them. Pesä hosts first, then we head to the East Pacific for the decider. That is the road that separated us from an unprecedented World Cup debut.
Two games stand between us and the promised land. Ei väliä mitä tahansa, taistelemme, kunnes viimeinen veri on vuodatettu.
Either we make it or die trying, but we shall never give up.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

[Cassadaigua]

Backpedaling team must find form,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

There are some people out there who will hit you with all kinds of statistics with a soccer game, or will simply analyze numbers in a way that you never thought possible. They can tell you how many goals Rachel Bolden has managed when the temperature is below 75 degrees (farenheit) and the wind is less than 10 MPH. Now, they can crunch all the numbers they want, but sometimes all that is needed is the eye test. And for Team Cassadaigua, nothing is going right. After falling 4-2 to Nephara on the final day of qualifying, the Fillies managed only six points over the final six matchdays, going 1-3-1. (Yes, there is a bye in there). This puts Cassadaigua into the playoff, and if you said at the beginning of qualifying that we would be heading to the playoff, we would not be surprised. Nephara is in the group, and were probably going to win it. In the end, they did. Going to the playoff is an improvement of where we were in the World Cup 91 cycle, so all of that would seem to be good. The issue is that the simply has no form right now. The last five games were about as bad as you can imagine, and it may just be that it costs Brittany Byers her job as calls for that are getting louder. Media types are speculating that the team must qualify for the World Cup now.

The playoff opponent is Poafmersia, and they are obviously no slouch. No one who gets to this point is, but they are a team with a positive recent track record even if they were a “pot 3" team. Most people see them as an up and coming nation on the World Cup scene. We can now sit here, and analyze all of the statistics about this match, but the stats that were compiled at the beginning of the campaign really mean nothing right now. For Cassadaigua, all that matters is that this team is in a brutal slump, and they need to worry about getting their own ship right before worrying much about Poafmersia. Yes, our team scored 53 goals, but down the stretch, the top goal scorers on this team came up very flat. Chloe Anderson went the entire second half of qualifying without a goal. She missed six games, but when she returned, she was a non-factor. Morgan Rosenblatt has not scored a goal since scoring two against Xitizian States on Matchday 15. The Fillies did get one from Rachel Bolden against Nephara (in the 26th minute) and one from Bayley Stanton (in the 55th minute) to account for the two goals there, but both of them have also been in deep slumps. Rosenblatt being in this type of slump is the most concerning, because not only is she not scoring, but she is also not setting up goals. One analyst said that, “For the first time that I can ever remember, Morgan might be showing some signs of age”. Maybe that is true, Rosenblatt had a draining season in Nephara’s Zenith where she was among the top players in the league from many accounts, and a long qualifying season on top of that can take a lot out of you. Perhaps, she was trying to do to much to account for the injury to Anderson, but I don’t think that is the case. Regardless, she is going to have to find it quickly against Poafmersia, with the first leg being played at Dagan Airways Stadium in Concord Heights.

What can the team do at this point? The veteran Bayley Stanton told reporters that, “As much as things have not gone our way over the last five games, we still have a chance to qualify for the World Cup. You have to forget everything that happened at this point and not worry about any individual statistics. The page turns to Poafmersia, and that is all we can worry about right now.” That all sounds good, and perhaps everything resetting and knowing the group stage is over can be beneficial, but at what point does manager Brittany Byers keep going with the same lineup? Does Allyson Perry and Carly Patterson get a chance to start? After all, Perry has more goals than Rachel Bolden and Bayley Stanton since the win over Xitizian States and that’s when being used as a substitute. Patterson is not that far behind. Chloe Anderson actually played a good game against Nephara, clearly her best since coming back from the torn hamstring, she simply has not put the ball in the net since returning. She did, however, have a lot to do with Bolden’s 26th minute score, so I do think that she needs to be in the lineup. I also think that Perry is best coming off the bench, so the same lineup will be out there for the first leg. I would not be surprised, if Cassadaigua loses the first game, to see Byers swing for the fences with some massive turnover. Should Cassadaigua be Cup of Harmony bound, I expect there to be a lot of changes.

The most annoying thing about the Nephara loss was that this team conceded four goals. Look, I know that Nephara is good, but we’ve been strong in the back end throughout qualifying. Stacie Thornton has been great in goal, and the defense has played well in front of her. In this game, that was sloppy, and Thornton did decently when considering the amount of quality opportunities that the Cormorants had throughout the game, but the keeper will always be the scapegoat when four goals are behind them. Do I think she could have been better? Yes, I do, but the defense was not as good as it has been in the past. She’ll need to be better against Poafmersia, a club that doesn’t necessarily light up the scoreboard with a barrage of goals, but they did average close to 2.5 goals per game which is pretty close to what Nephara has averaged.

Brittany Byers tells me that fans should continue to be optimistic, “This team is one of the best in the world but our group stage is backloaded with the better opponents. We didn’t get the job done, and the draws were tough, but only Nephara has beaten us to this point. That is not what we want, but to be writing our qualifying obituary at this point is premature and irresponsible. We can play well with our backs against the wall, and I expect that to happen in Concord Heights.” Poafmersia did allow 30 goals during qualifying, so there is room there, one would think, for our offense to break out of their slumps. At this point, they have no choice and the job of Brittany Byers may depend on it.

[Ko-oren]

Day XX00 of Juliasterinthen's WCC Presidency

"It is with great pleasure that I announce to you our hosts for the eighty-fourth Cup of Harmony... now if you please - with a narrow margin, re-open bidding is defeated unanimously by the delegations from Delaclava and Ceni!"

(confusion)

"That means that the third tournament of our 92nd World Cup cycle will be hosted by Delaclava and Ceni, congratulations!"

(applause)

Day XX12 of Juliasterinthen's WCC Presidency

"I welcome you all back to the Presidential Palace to formalise our formidable playoff pairings! I have no doubt that inhabitants and fans of these nations haven't already done their homework, but to reiterate, one of each of these pairs will qualify for the World Cup! Let us begin."

(Juliasterinthen briefly checks for bowls with balls for draws, but remembers that part isn't needed today, so he remembers to face the screen behind him, on which each pairing appears, interspersed by brief videos supplied by the tourism boards for Vilita and Electrum)

"It's our Cup of Harmony hosts and our reigning World Cup champions, it's Delaclava versus Graintfjall!"
...
"It's the team that, contrary to the name suggests, keeps holding on, versus the team that just won't disappear, it's the Squornshelan Remnant States versus Audioslavia!"
...
"It's Adab versus Baker Park!" *dabs* (angry glares towards the stage for omitting 'Commonwealth of')
...
"And then... it's Ceni versus Ko-oren, casual reminder that it's still within my powers to revoke your hosting of the Cup of Harmony, should a certain team potentially fall to the Cup of Harmony, if you know what I mean."

"It's a secret vote - who says I counted correctly? I'm such a disorganised person - maybe all votes said 'Not Delaclava/Ceni' instead of 'Delaclava/Ceni'. Oops!"

"Is the mic still live? I feel like the mic's still live. Either way, the offer still stands."

[Mercedini]

92nd World Cup Qualification
The Settling Dust: Group 13 & Playoff Analysis
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Good evening everyone and welcome back to World Cup Qualification. The Group Stages of this qualification cycle are done and dusted, and we have our final 47 (45+2) nations who are still in contention for the 92nd World Cup title. Only seventeen nations are guaranteed to be in Vilita and Electrum at the moment, with the remaining thirty fighting it out to fill the last fifteen spots. That will be done over two legs where one group runner-up will face a team who finished third. When we last left you, Valanora had wrapped up the auto-qual spot with a convincing group win, but it was between five nations to fill the final two spots. Dini sat in second and had the best chances to make it to the playoffs, but with a tough set of games against Valanora and Darkmania, it wasn't confirmed. IAQ and Chartistan were the main challengers, with Baggieland and Oberour Ar Moro holding an outside chance of a miraculous recovery.

Scenarios like this were happening throughout the multiverse in the tournament's fifteen qualifying groups, with many big names still to confirm a spot in the top three. With so much at stake and many top seeds jostling for position, a second place finish could still mean a tough draw versus one of the juggernauts of the sport. A spot in the top three would guarantee any nation one more chance at going through, while fourth or lower means they are gone for good. Bookies had Dini and IAQ as the favourites to go through given the margins and the schedules, but did that come to fruition? Let's take a look at how it all went down.

World Cup Qualifiers: Qualification? That's The Mil-lion Dollar Question

---

Final day battles often have drama and excitement surrounding them, especially with what is at stake. However, that meter was turned up to eleven as Dini scraped a second-place finish in the group with barely minutes to spare. After a strong start, Billic and his team nearly choked a playoff spot in their final two games, only for Talisky to bail them out at the death of their twenty-second and final game. A joint-worst ever senior result against Valanora, followed by what was nearly another disappointing result against Darkmania saw Billic end the campaign with four points from their final four games. While it ultimately was a happy ending for the Golden Eagles, results in the 86th minute stood to eliminate Dini completely from the tournament, since IAQ were beating Elmyia to knock Dini down to fourth. However, an 87th winner from Talisky in the Sports City Stadium edged the home side ahead with a toe poke following a scrappy corner. That one goal took Dini up two points and two spots, knocking Chartistan down to fourth as they chased a goal at home to Valanora. At full-time, there was a sense of elation and relief which poured out from the stands. In what would normally be a drab Novapax derby, the ramifications were felt across the group.

An eventual second-placed finish for Mercedini in group thirteen theoretically gave them a better playoff draw on paper. However, an incredibly close group still came back to effect both the IAQ and Mercedini, with their overall records placing them towards the bottom of their respective pots. The Golden Eagles had the second worst record out of all runners-up, meaning they would still play a team who finished third, but now they had to face a team with an excellent overall record. The draw ultimately put Mercedini against Milchama of Group 9, who actually picked up more points than Golden Eagles despite their lower nominal placement. This will be the first (and second) meetings between these two nations in any sport, but Milchama have already caused an upset in this cycle, so they are no stranger to upsetting the odds. Hailing from Pot 4, Milchama did enough to eliminate former World Champions Starblaydia and snatch third place in fairly convincing fashion. The Warriors beat Starblaydia 2-1 at home, while also holding top seeds Squidroidia to not one, but two goalless draws en route to their third place finish. While both nations would be punching above their weight if they qualify for the World Cup, only one will make it to there, where they will likely end up in Pot 3 or 4.

We have looked at Mercedini's opponent for these playoffs, but let's have a look at some of the other names who are still yet to book their ticket to the World Cup proper. Our group-mates in the IAQ were rewarded for their great end to qualification with a tough set of games against Brenecia, who finished runner-up to Savojarna in Group 12. Current reigning champions Graintfjall are another team who haven't confirmed their spot. They were denied an immediate return to the World Cup Group Stage by an inspired Tikariot side who used their game in hand to edge ahead of the Pot 1 side. They face Delaclava in what could be the shock of the tournament so far if the Phoenixes can pull of a result over two legs.

The hopes of Turori and The Holy Empire, as the top two teams in the world by KPB ranking, also hangs in the balance right now. They both finished second in their group, so they will have to go through The Cordian Isles and Geektopia respectively to return to the Group Stages. At the other end of the scale are teams like Delte and Ceni, with both nations coming from the depths of the world rankings to bridge the gap and finish inside the top three. They have already upset the odds to get this far, but they will have to do it one more time if they are to hit the big time. The draw has not been kind however, as Delte will play Eura while Pot 6 Ceni will have to beat Pot 1 Ko-oren over two legs. A tough ask!

Playoffs: Full Draw

Delaclava vs Graintfjall
Delte vs Eura
Acastanha vs Drawkland
Mytanija vs Pasarga
Independent Athletes of Quebec vs Brenecia
Kimi-Suomi vs Kelssek
Ceni vs Ko-oren
Yuezhou vs Flavovespia
Geektopia vs The Holy Empire
The Cordian Isles vs Turori
Audioslavia vs Squornshelan Remnant States
Sendhang vs TJUN-ia
Cassadaigua vs Poafmersia
Milchama vs Mercedini
Adab vs Commonwealth of Baker Park

Looking down the rest of the matchups, it certainly seems that Mercedini vs. Milchama will be towards the bottom of the list when it comes to 'most anticipated', with both teams coming from outside of the top thirty-two. With the sheer number of high-ranking teams in these playoffs, we are in for a cut throat series of games when the playoffs begin in a couple of days time. As the side that finished third, Milchama will host the first leg and will be looking to earn some sort of advantage before the return game in Zoloroni. Mercedini go in as the stronger team on paper, but their momentum will be almost non-existent following a nearly horrendous choke in their qualification group. The Golden Eagles will be looking for a foothold in the first leg; a win, draw or some away goals will go a long way to easing the pressure in Zoloroni. Milchama have proved they can hang with the best of them, so we are all set for an extremely close couple of games to decide a spot at football's biggest tournament.

QUALIFYING MD22
Mercedini 2–1 Darkmania

-  Group 13                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Valanora                           20   15   4   1    63   33  +30    49   Q
 2 Mercedini                          20   11   6   3    45   28  +17    39   P
 3 Independent Athletes from Quebec   20   11   5   4    56   35  +21    38   P
 4 Chartistan                         20   11   5   4    49   38  +11    38
 5 Baggieland                         20   11   3   6    51   45   +6    36
 6 Oberour Ar Moro                    20    9   5   6    38   34   +4    32
 7 Elmyia                             20    7   5   8    29   29    0    26
 8 Darkmania                          20    5   3  12    23   41  −18    18
 9 Al Qurija                          20    4   3  13    32   47  −15    15
10 Arjunnagar                         20    4   1  15    28   56  −28    13
11 Great Korvax Empire                20    1   2  17    29   57  −28     5

We will be back in a couple of day's time as we cover Mercedini's game in Milchama, plus all of the action and drama across the playoff first legs. As we keep saying, anything can truly happen during World Cup Qualification, so we cannot discount anyone until their final whistle has blown. Big teams have fallen by the wayside, while unfancied sides have gone on to punch above their weight in a big way. With fifteen games going on around the multiverse, we could see some blowouts, but we could see some major stories being written, and that's all before the World Cup even starts in earnest. Goodnight!

[The Cordian Isles]

The Castle, Danvirk, Cordia. 80th minute, MD 22. Cordia 1, Sevendia 2

Diandra Ballard was confused. This entire match had been, indeed, confusing. Sevendia was not supposed to be a remotely competitive football team, especially compared to the likes of the North Stars, one of the multiverse’s better teams. After all, their starting keeper was out, his ankles broken by Anton Osterholt in the first round of qualifying in a highlight play for the ages, and their whole team sucked, even according to their own media. So the 1-2 scoreline was absolutely baffling. The Sevendians hadn’t even played especially well, but the ball just had not been going into the net for the North Stars. Even on wide-open opportunities, they had been unable to convert, the ball usually striking the posts. It took Anton Osterholt working his magic again, getting within inches of the goal line and slamming the ball into the back of the net, for the Cordians to finally get on the board late in the first half. At the other end, Sevendia’s offense was playing surprisingly well and had converted some solid chances allowed by a surprisingly lenient Cordian defense that’s been among the world’s best through qualifying so far.

The Cordians now needed just one more goal to even the score at two apiece and secure an almost certain berth in the playoffs, no matter which way the THE-Saint Eleanor match went later that day. As Ballard watched the play, inside the Sevendian half as it had been for the vast majority of the match, Sebastian Voll fired from high in the box. The ball went off the crossbar. Fuck. Wait. It seemed to bounce off the crossbar and away from the net, but was dragged back towards the crossbar and ultimately lodged there, parallel to the ground, held to the crossbar by what the Cordians would later find out were magnets.

It took the muscle of three referees to wrestle the ball away from the net, and they switched it out for a new one. Immediately, the effect was apparent. The Sevendian keeper, drawn from their own stadium back on MD11, was now forced to actually make saves, which they hadn’t needed to before. It didn’t go well for them. Anton Osterholt scored a few minutes after the nearly-supernatural occurrence in the 82nd minute to knot the score at two. The Cordian fans cheered, but would have much preferred a win, and many suspected foul play was at hand.


The Castle, Danvirk, Cordia. Dressing Room, Post-Game, MD 22. Cordia 2, Sevendia 2.

Diandra Ballard walked into the room. The atmosphere was grim. The team had dramatically underperformed and put a second run to the World Cup Playoffs at risk. Ballard, however, was pissed for other reasons. “Well, guys, it turns out the Sevendians planted magnets in their goal and the game ball for most of the match. That’s why Anton has to push the ball into the goal when he scored and how we kept hitting the post no matter how close we shot from. Apparently something went haywire in the 82nd on Sebastian’s shot, so we got lucky there. The WCC will not force Sevendia to forfeit the match to us.” Groans. She shrugged. “We’re still almost certainly in to the playoffs, so there’s still that. You’re all free to return to your clubs once you leave here, and I’ll see you in a couple weeks for the playoffs.”


Diandra Ballard’s Home Office, Cordasfjord, Cordia

It’d been a short flight back to Cordasfjord for Ballard, and she’d arrived in the rainy weather that threatened to snow that was common across Cordia. Some of the scores were in by then - Wreckeria over Abanhfleft and Atheara over Quakmybush. NYK vs. WBEO wasn’t of much interest to her, so it was The Holy Empire vs. Saint Eleanor that she checked constantly as she walked back to her car in the airport parking lot. She had to turn her phone off to drive as the match was in the 73rd minute. When she arrived home, she checked the score again. The Holy Empire 1-1 Saint Eleanor. Final. The Cordians were headed to the World Cup Playoffs, yet again.

Now, a couple hours later, in the early morning by Cordian time, the final matches of Qualifying were being played. Ballard, tired from the day’s events, watched as every random match of every random group played out, and eventually finished. With that, the Cordians would soon know their opponent for the playoffs. She went to the WCC website to check the standings on her phone. The ranking of second and third-placed teams, incredibly, was already up, along with the list of playoff pairings. Ballard scrolled down, butterflies in her stock as she anticipated the opponent. A regional rival? Maybe some random Margaret-blessed side outside the top 100? Maybe a fallen top ten nation?

She initially scrolled past the matchup, and quickly scrolled back up. This time, she got a good look: The Cordian Isles vs. Turori.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

[Kelssek]

They weren’t on patrol, so Brandon let the call-in chatter on SportsInfo Radio mingle with the police car’s operational frequency.

“...well Gabriel Lapierre’s not playing the first leg, it’s the final match of his suspension after being sent off against Koronavia. So that might be difficult. But Kelssek’s got some good alternatives, don’t they? Chance for Eamon Breault, Raïf Ducharne, these are quality players, too, James.”

“Ugh, well whatever then. We have this problem, you know, we come up against these teams that we’re sort of expected to beat, but they’re also decent, and they end up overrunning us... You know there was some kind of weird insult some blogger in Kimi-suomi made about us?”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what that’s about, but I don’t really pay attention to that Honkr stuff. You gotta curate your feed, mate.”

“Nordic Canadians, whatever that means, it sounds offensive.”

“Well James, I’m not sure if we’ll get complaints for you saying that on the radio, because I don’t know what that means either, but if it comes down to being motivated by insults, well, I don’t think professional athletes really work like that in this day and age. But thanks for your call. James does raise a good point here, Kelssek needs to put in a really professional performance, get over missing out based on goal difference , and really put in a gilly ripper as they say in Wynleth...”

The Girl With the Dragon Ball Z Tattoo

The South Canal of Saintsport was starting to ice over, which helped to cut down somewhat on the derelict waterway’s stench. It wasn’t unsafe as such, in that people lived there quite happily, knowing where not to tread or linger. For outsiders it was a part of town to move quickly through and avoid eye contact. The brightly painted concrete apartment blocks of Gilfenwash Road loomed as detective inspector Myriam Silley eased the police car into a parking spot.

“You said it was ‘maybe’ a homicide investigation. Seems like a fella is either dead or not,” her partner, corporal Brandon Yaes, noted as they got out of the car and walked towards the cordoned area that may or may not be a crime scene.

“That’s not at issue. But this is the fourth person in Ratford to have fallen out of a high-rise window in the last two weeks. So it’s really about whether or not this mysterious pattern is the result of crimes, or just, you know, nihilistic alienation with late modernity and stuff.”

A uniformed officer was minding a cordoned-off area. “Hold it, ma’am. I’ve been told to let no one enter this crime scene.”

“Crime scene?” Myriam said, in a tone that made the question mark painfully audible.

“Right. There is... no... crime. Therefore...” said the constable, before arriving at the conclusion that Myriam’s pips were rank enough to explain away to the sergeant who had ordered him to let no one through.

A small tent covered what was most certainly a corpse. People in white coveralls were photographing a gory spatter of red on the pavement. Brandon said quietly, “If it’s not a crime scene, there’s a lot of law enforcement officers out here for a very non-criminal dead body, huh?”

“Indeed,” Myriam said, with solemn finality. She added, to a man approaching them, “And who’re you?”

He handed her a business card. “Myles Potter, Liquor Distribution Office. You’re the detective in charge?”

“That would imply some kind of crime has taken place, Mr. Potter. Has it? No one’s told me anything. And you’re here to distribute liquor?”

This wasn’t the response Myles was expecting, but he forged on.

“Oh no. We’re more about making sure only the state distributes liquor, officer. Higher powers up the organigramme instructed me to be here because this is an incident of interest, however. Same for you?”

Myriam finally took the business card. She didn’t really need to be rude to this person just to assert authority, she decided. “I suppose no one told you anything either?”

* * *

“...’kin ‘ell. Right, I’ll go over right away.” Myriam looked around for her partner. Brandon was squatting by a spatter of blood on the ground, scrutinizing it like a curling skip hoping a path around the corner guard would reveal itself. “Alright. Let’s go, Brandon. There’s been another one.”

[Squidroidia]

An Inkling's Dilemma

---

Episode 7 - You Could Almost Taste It

Takanaki Osa, Commentator, SBN Sport
"Heading into the final game of the qualification campaign here tonight, the race for the group win has come down to only Squidroidia and Drawkland - With the Elite Eleven capitalizing on the Inklings draw with Milchama in Inkopolis with their own heroics against Rouyoute, the gap has gone from 3 points to one. What Drawkland need is for Squidroidia to slip up against Garifunya and win against already eliminated Starblaydia to qualify and send the Inklings back to the Playoffs for their second consecutive cycle."

Squidroidian fans were having a dilemma all cycle when it came down to their national team's run through World Cup qualifying. Some were bailing on the team purely because of the way they played - Slow, methodical, defensive, a mix of Equestrian hoofball, Dagan elegance and modern, more Ko-orenite methods of play. Others saw the era of Coltfieldball as a needed step to guide Squidroidia to the next step in the game towards eventually, whether it was this cycle or 5 from now, winning the World Cup. The stats backed it up. 34 goals scored heading into Garifunya, only better than the bottom 6 teams in the group, but only 8 conceded, the second least in the entirety of qualifiers, behind only Ranoria and, of course, Ko-oren. In comparison with World Cup 89, the eventual champion Dragonflies conceded 11 goals during qualification in a campaign where they only made the World Cup proper due to beating Siovanija and Teusland in the playoffs 1-0 at home and... 1-0 away.

Conceding 3 less than the World Cup winners from 6 years ago has to count for something, right?

Garifunya, however, was the trap game to beat all trap games. Milchama might have been Squidroidia's bogey team this cycle (The record against them? 0 scored, 0 conceded), but if there was any team to ruin things, it was Garifunya. They were familiar with Squidroidia, of course - World Cup 89, the same tournament Ko-oren conceded 11 in qualifying, but still. Their record against Squidroidia was 3 losses, 0 draws, 0 wins. Not good, but there was a suspicion in the Squidroidia camp that they had everything figured out to do Drawkland a favor. All scores start off 0-0, after all. Just one goal could flip the entire campaign on its head.

The problem was the head wasn't flipped the right way,

Helmuth Behrend, 94.7 "The Inker" radio commentator
'31 - "Squidroidia are backing up to make sure their defensive positions are well marked against this Garifunya attack. Wueslly Peralta is starting a run, and the Blue Wall begins to attack, Toki running up, struggles, Peralta has room! Shoots, saved by Akiyama! He grabs onto it with both of his hands and we reset once more."

The rigid Blue Wall, the Squidroidian defensive unit that has cut down the goals against mark down to only 8 goals so far, was beginning to quiver once more. It felt like Garifunya had their number, as shots like that were chipping away at Squidroidian morale and giving the Garifunyans every chance they could to snatch 3 points. That was basically the story throughout the first half. After the break, however, the tides began to turn.

Takanaki Osa
'48 - "Muisebelt's ball is taken away by Byström, and now the defender can do something now. Toki, back to Byström, back to Toki. He sees Hamasaki, ball goes up to him. Now here comes Tetsuo, he has room, but the ball goes wide."

'79 - "Akiyama to kick it through. Finds Colbert's head, falls back down to Hamasaki, now back to Colbert. He has room to run into space, there Colbert goes, he's shooting alone, SAVED by Sijmen Zijlstra! He was a fingertip away from scoring the goal that would seal first place in the table!"

A minute later, however, the deadlock would be broken.

Helmuth Behrend
'80 - "As it stands right now Squidroidia need to win if they want to solidify their group lead. Corner for Squidroidia, Meuwessen to take the corner. She kicks it high, and IWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! GOAL FOR SQUIDROIDIA! GOAL FOR SQUIDROIDIA! SURELY NOW SORA IWAI HAS HEADED IN THE GOAL TO QUALIFY SQUIDROIDIA TO THE WORLD CUP ONCE MORE! GOAL! GOAL! GOALLLLLLLLLLL!!!"

The head of young, 21 year old super sub Sora Iwai met the ball, the Squidbreak midfielder powering it to the back of the net to give Squidroidia not only their fourth win against Garifunya but, thanks to that result as well as Starblaydia holding the Elite Eleven to a 1-1 draw, qualifying the Inklings to their fourth consecutive World Cup proper.

Most of the Squidroidian celebrating happened off the pitch, but on it immediately after the final whistle was where the board photo was going to be taken. It was a white board, like the center of the World Cup 92 logo, with the nation's flag and nation's name on the left side, "QUALIFIED" in the center in big lettering (QUAL was colored green and IFIED was shaded blue) and the World Cup 92 logo itself on the right side. There were 2 boards from the group that could've been shown, but the Drawkland board would have to wait a little bit. Alas, with the entire team in view, the smiles, cheers and celebrations shone through the almost empty Garifunian stadium as the cameras popped off.

20 matches down. 7 to go.

[Acastanha]

---

---

Saramotxo for President

---

---

Last Wednesday, UdP held an internal meeting in light of the upcoming election in the country. The meeting was held to select the presidential candidate from the party. As no presidential threshold applied then any party in the country is able to submit a candidate. UdP have to held the meeting because their member which is the current president is unable to become a candidate again after being in office for 2 terms. There are 6 candidates from the party that have to be selected by their members. The votes however is represented by the party's head of municipal branch. There are 144 head of branches that will cast their votes in this two-round voting system.

As we mention before, there are 6 candidates that will compete to be the party's presidential candidate. The candidates are Abelardo Saramotxo, the party's President; Narcisa Ekamsi, the party's faction leader in Conselho Popular, Rubinho Maganing, party's faction leader in Arra Republic Parliament; Leandro Paraksiva, current Minister of Economy and Finance; Soraia Imenshak, current Minister of Health and Ezekiel Diardara, current State Secretary of Investment. From the 6, Saramotxo, Ekamsi and Maganing are the most popular one. It was predicted that the candidacy is a competition between the 3. In the first round, the 144 head of municipal branches cast their votes to select 1 out of 6 candidates. Top 2 candidates with the most votes will be competing again in the second round where the most votes will win the candidacy.

In the first round, we see a tight competition between the 6 candidates. The votes were spread quite evenly. And the surprising part is Narcisa Ekamsi who was predicted as one of the biggest contender were only able to secured 5th position with 22 votes. While Soraia Imenshak success to reached top 3. But she was 3 votes short from the second place, Abelardo Saramotxo. And Rubinho Maganing came out as the winner of the first round. He won with 28 votes. Just 1 vote more than Saramotxo. Both will compete in the second round.

União do Povo
Presidential Candidacy Election
First Round

Candidate                Votes      %
Abelardo Saramotxo         27     18.75%
Narcisa Ekamsi             22     15.28%
Rubinho Maganing           28     19.44%
Leandro Paraksiva          20     13.89%
Soraia Imenshak            24     16.67%
Ezekiel Diardara           23     15.97%
Total                     144    100.00%

In the second round, the 144 head of municipal branches once again cast their votes. Now to select 1 out of 2 candidates remaining. Between Saramotxo and Maganing. The result? Saramotxo win the second round with a slight margin. Only 6 votes that separated both candidates. After the announcement, Maganing immediately congratulate Saramotxo. The same gesture was done by the other candidates.

União do Povo
Presidential Candidacy Election
Second Round

Candidate                Votes      %
Abelardo Saramotxo         75     52.08%
Rubinho Maganing           69     47.92%
Total                     144    100.00%

I'm surprise with the result. But this is the mandate that I have to take. I'm thanking to all the constituents that have the faith in me. I'll do the best in the upcoming election

Abelardo Saramotxo

With this result, Saramotxo is becoming the official presidential candidate from UdP. And there is a possibility that Saramotxo will be inactive for a while as the party president especially during the campaign period. The position of party president will be held temporarily by Ruy Arranilo.

---

---

MD 21
Acastanha 5-2 Soldera

Goal:
Felix Kalchankar 2x
David Gothrado
Lisandro Turtapa
David Yushankar

---

MD 22
Bye

Play-off
Acastanha v Drawkland
@ Estádio da Unidade Nacional, Amarelda, Região da Capital

Calls up

Starter
31 GK  Santiago Karba
12 LB  Rafael Oronako
3  CB  Santiago Urupao
16 CB  Dionisio Leimanki
4  RB  Jorge Vidshav (C)
17 LM  Lisandro Turtapa
6  CM  Plinio Adondare
20 CM  Nóe Brinanko
9  RM  David Gothrado
10 ST  David Yushankar
11 AT  Felix Kalchankar
Substitute
23 GK  Armando Padia
33 GK  Tiago Kalabar
13 LB  Manuel Savalor
2  CB  David Erunde
27 RB  Casimiro Urinjane
7  LM  Pedro Ustankar
8  CM  Igor Erdagh
28 RM  Andre Aramde
22 ST  Manuel Brandas

[Ko-oren]

NS World Cup Fantasy Qualification
Here we are again.
The Roundup. Warning: VERY large image

[Milchama]

"So we made the playoffs"

"Well considering how well we did in the first half and that we only lost two games the whole time this is not surprising"

"Yeah but I wouldn't have expected to beat Starblaydia"

"Oh definitely not but it's still not a bad job all things considered"

"Yep but we do need to win"

"Oh definitely, it's a Vilitan World Cup. If we can't qualify now then we'll never be able to make it"

"Right, exactly, unless Vilita become the permahosts then there is no way we will every qualify"

"Well they've hosted the last 3 in some form or other"

"So we might be in luck?"

"Maybe but it'd still be better if we qualify"

"Definitely"

"So who are we playing"

"Mercidini"

"How do you say that?"

"You know, I'm not sure, is it the Mercidini like a K sound or Mercidini like a S sound"

"Have you ever heard a news anchor pronounce it?"

"No"

"Well that doesn't help"

"It does not"

"So how can we talk about them?"

"I think we can either arbitrarily pick one or just keep going back and forth"

"Hmmm... that's a good question. I like the second option"

"Alright, well we should ask them"

"Oh we will"

"That's good"

"Until then I still think Milchama should win"

"Especially with a clear, easy to pronounce, and no ways to mess up nation name"

"Yeah there's definitely no way English speakers say Milchama like chat and instead of מלחמה like it's supposed to be said in Hebrew"

"Nope, no way anybody has ever made that mistake"

"Or we just blew a bunch of minds in Discord"

"What's that?"

"Don't worry about it. Either way we got this"

"Should be a good one"

[Mytanija]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Zvonimir Stenko was technically unemployed and able to claim benefits from the Euran state. He didn’t, but according to his official income and employment status he would be eligible for some. He was in his late thirties, had only ever been in employment once, for a few months between his 18th and 19th birthdays. He had left education early, at the age of 15 and had no formal qualifications. He should have been living a fairly unremarkable lifestyle, perhaps trying to find work even with his lack of documented skills. Instead, he was able to drive around the Mytanar neighbourhoods of Brigham in a Petrinja Safir – a luxury crossover SUV which cost more than most people living in those neighbourhoods would earn in 10 or 15 years. Something didn’t quite add up if you weren’t in the know, which a lot of people outside of those Mytanar neighbourhoods of Brigham certainly were not.

For those living there it was much easier to understand. Stenko didn’t make his money legitimately. He was the kingpin of Mytanar organised crime in Brigham, with extensive links to The Administration, the gang which dominated the Escan underworld. The rumour was that he had cousins back in Mytanija who were high-up in The Administration’s rather shady and impenetrable hierarchy. The reason why Stenko was so successful in Brigham was that he wasn’t beholden to the rules of crime which still pervaded the underworld in the old country. Stenko could work with criminal groups from any Mytanar region – usually Escans wouldn’t work with Thessians, with the same rules applying for groups in Ebor and Miago – and this was something he played upon regularly, utilising the freedom of Eura to his advantage.

Stenko avoided attention from the Euran authorities in a number of ways. He largely kept to the neighbourhoods of Brigham – the city in which he was born – which were dominated by the Mytanar community. He would keep a much lower profile if he had to go elsewhere and he certainly wouldn’t drive a Petrinja Safir to get there. He never did any of the dirty work himself, at least, he didn’t anymore. He had people who would do that for him these days, dealing with people who needed to be dealt with. He had done some regrettable things in his time and he had sold drugs on the streets, but that was all for somebody else now, he had done the hard yards. Finally, he had a complex system of trusts and shell companies which hid the source of his wealth. The fact that he had been officially unemployed for pretty much all of his adult life could have raised suspicion – even in a country as enormous as Eura – but he had some very clever accountants who had worked hard to conceal the true nature of the assets he had.

It didn’t mean that questions couldn’t be asked – there was still some very obvious ones, like how did he come to own shares in all these companies without ever having worked? But there were answers which – even if slightly dodgy – seemed to sate the Euran authorities. Mytanar-Eurans were more established now and it had been made to appear as if a lot of Stenko’s assets had either been inherited or gifted to him by other members of a growing, proud and distrusting immigrant community. Taxes had been paid on these where necessary, often after the accountants worked their magic to reduce the amount being paid, but this had been the route Stenko had wanted to go down to ensure that the Eurans wouldn’t come after him for his criminal activities. It had worked and he was now mostly free to live his life, able to make his extravagant purchases appear to be the product of dividends and loans taken against his share portfolio, rather than a product of the large piles of cash generated from his gang (a phrase he hated with a passion) selling drugs, running brothels and selling guns.

‘His gang’. It was a phrase which made him instinctively cringe. He often told people not to speak of what they did as part of ‘gang activities’ and he certainly didn’t want anybody to ever link those activities to him. Stenko might have been able to cover up the nature of his illegitimate income, but he would have a far harder time of trying to prove that he wasn’t pulling the strings of Brigham’s underworld if somebody was as stupid as to suggest that he had a ‘gang’. More than once he had had exuberant youngsters taken outside for a clip around the head for saying those sorts of things. He could never be too careful, he had risen to the top the difficult way, having to follow orders and use extreme violence when necessary. He didn’t want to give up his position too easily.

This was particularly the case due to the fact that his pre-eminence in Brigham’s underworld was not easily replicable anywhere else. For a long time talk of a ‘Mytanar Mafija’ in Eura had been wide of the mark. It wasn’t even strictly true back in Mytanija, there was no over-arching organisation which could be called the Mafija. It was much more broken-up, with disparate groups who would fight over turf in cities causing as much trouble for one another as law enforcement caused them. This made everything twice as difficult, you were fighting on two fronts. It was something that Zvonimir had recognised quickly. He might not have had any formal qualifications to fall back upon, but he could certainly make connections between things when it came to crime.

Zvonimir had recognised the fact that different groups battling each other made life easier for law enforcement to shut them down. He had suggested this to his old boss, who had agreed with him, but he had said that trying to get Brigham’s different Mytanar gangs to work together would be like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle. Zvonimir had never really cared for religious metaphors, so he had shot his old boss and dumped his body in a chemical waste facility. He had then ignored his old boss, who felt it would be impossible due to tensions stemming from ethnic and regional allegiances from the old country, and went to the leaders of the other Mytanar gangs in Brigham to explain his idea. They would all work together, taking a zone of the city each and work in those areas without interfering anywhere else. They would procure together, to lower costs for bigger shipments and the only enemy would be the police, not each other.

They liked the idea, even if they felt it would be difficult to embed, people had become a little stuck in their ways. They were also suspicious of Zvonimir. They didn’t like the fact he had offed his old boss and they believed he might do the same to them, but then it did seem like an idea which would make everybody more money and reduce problems. They had all grown tired of fighting one another as well as the cops. In the end they agreed and cast their suspicions aside. That was a mistake. Zvonimir was ruthless, as some of the leaders aged they wanted an easier life and he would offer them a way out where they would be supported into their old age or one where they would be dumped into a chemical waste plant. More often than not they chose the former. Younger gangland leaders would be mysteriously kidnapped and turn up a few weeks later in Mytanija, usually either dead or arrested for criminal activity there.

Everybody had a feeling that what was happening was down to Zvonimir somehow, but nobody could ever put their finger on exactly what he was doing and his power and influence continued to grow. Eventually he ended up where he was today, the boss of all bosses, the leader of Mytanar organised crime in Brigham. Just don’t tell anybody about it or even refer to it in those terms. He had his fingers in many pies. Guns had been the big money-maker, but ever since the conflict in Sameba the bottom had fallen out of that particular scheme. The monopoly he had once held due to the weapons which hadn’t been decommissioned after the Mytanar Conflict had gone. He had then overseen the ramping up of the drugs trade, selling cannabis, party drugs and cocaine all over Brigham. He was happy to import from whoever back in Mytanija, The Administration; Thessia’s Five Families; Ebor’s Grmek-Kabrovsek firm; or the Preloznjak’s from Miago.

They’d never agree to such an arrangement in the old country, but they all needed to sell their stuff and Zvonimir Stenko was always a willing buyer in Eura and Brigham was an enormous market. They couldn’t be too choosy, they wanted to make money too, after all. It had an enormous impact on the community, some Mytanar neighbourhoods had become epicentres for crack, with all of the knock-on effects that had. And whilst Stenko had unified the different groups in Brigham he couldn’t control everything. The unity was mostly in the upper levels, there were still gangland shootings over turf and merchandise, but now – after establishing himself – Stenko was less concerned about these being bad for business, if youngsters wanted to shoot each other to act like big men then they could, it kept the cops off him. It was almost a bait for them and none of the people they were arresting would even know who he was. It kept the cops happy, they looked like they were doing something about crime.

Aside from the guns and the drugs there was also the people trafficking and prostitution. Those two were very much intertwined. Sometimes Stenko had a brief moment of feeling sorry for the people involved, but then he thought that if he wasn’t making money from it then somebody else would be. There was also a lack of sympathy for anyone who believed the tall tales of the fixers, the people who would arrange it back in Mytanija. The streets of Eura weren’t paved with gold and the supposed opportunities weren’t all that anyway. Zvonimir tried not to think about it too hard. Gambling was much more palatable and the illegal rackets his people had set-up were effective. They had even been involved in fixing some sports events at lower levels of competition back in Mytanija. Then finally there was the white-collar stuff, the financial crimes and the money laundering operations. There were more Mytanar-Eurans than ever heading into jobs in finance, accounting and law. Stenko had tapped into this talent pool wherever possible. Stick to what you know.

He was happy with his work. He had worked hard for it and he had made good decisions. Now he was able to reap the benefits, driving his luxury cars and spending time with Brigham’s high society, even as a bloody Mytanar, though he always knew that there were some circles into which he couldn’t ascend. He had thought about politics, but he had thought better of it, better to stay out of the spotlight. Then a would-be Mytanar-Euran politician emerged, Ilija Leskovar, young and possessing a can-do-attitude. Stenko wondered if this was somebody who he could support and ride the coattails of to ensure that his gains would be made safe. He would get somebody to look into it.

He didn’t know that Leskovar’s principles were not for sale.

---

“Look at the state of these headlines!” Mecava-Catic shrieked, almost sending an aide sprawling with surprise as she slammed the newspapers down on the table in front of them. “‘Mytanija is making its human trafficking into an international incident’, why the fuck does the media in New Gelderland even have anything to say about that?! We’ve not heard anything from them for decades and all of a sudden they’re writing stuff like that about us!”

“I mean, I suppose it’s a pan-Rushmori issue…”

“It is, but we’re working on it. The MNK will have a field day with this and that’s before we even get onto the ultras being involved in their usual stupidity in Cap Nord. I thought we’d been moving past this… Not falling back into the same old nonsense. Please get a formal apology and notification of investigation into this to Cap Nord for the morning and make sure that the media here knows about it. We cannot afford to let the MNK set the narrative on this, we already know that they’re going to go hard on crime and law and order ahead of the election. We’ve got to show that we’re being proactive on this.” Mecava-Catic said. She had grown into the role of Premier, straying a fair bit from the authenticity and honesty which had got her into office and towards buzzwords like optics. She despised the fact that politics worked like this and hoped that her achievements would be judged on their own merit, away from all the other noise.

“Yes Ana, no problem, I will get to it right away.” The aide said hurriedly, he didn’t want to let her down.

[Audioslavia]

Styrn invokes 'Spirits of Lemvoola and Penningworth'
Football historians nod sagely, everyone else bereft

The stadiums were named The Can and the Big Eye, the first host to a World Cup 12 Quarter-Final in Lemmitania, the second a World Cup 20 Semi-final in Starblaydia. Both games stand-out knockout matches of the era, both scenes of Audioslavia's only two victories over Squornshelous in football.

Out of six total matches, held between cycles 5 and 21, Squornshelous, back them known as the Pschychoes for reasons best left to themselves, generally had the better of the Bulls (back then known as the 'Slaves' for even more obscure reasons). A double-header in World Cup 17 qualifying saw Squornshelous win out 4-1 in the first match before a goal-less draw in Audioslavia, Squornshelous took the spoils in a third-placed playoff in a friendly tournament before World Cup 21, but the most famous of those reverses to the Red-And-Blacks came in World Cup 5. A famous old matchup, Audioslavia went into the game ranked 11th in the world, Squornshelous were making their debut, and Squornshelous won out 4-0. It wasn't close. Audioslavia would go on to lose their next two and eventually crash out before the finals even started. Squornshelous reached the Quarter-FInals.

Audioslavia's successes against Squornshelous are rarer, but came on much larger stages.

In World Cup 12, Audioslavia reached the quarter-finals of the World Cup for the very first time, meeting a Squornshelous side who had made the final stages of the World Cup their home.

Audioslavia vs Squornshelous, World Cup 12 Quarter-Final

                 1
               Pedder

           3     5    21
        O`Hara Reid Carsley

  18     15      10      8     17
Murphy Marsden Shearer Croft Jensen

             9        7
          Maidens O`Malley

                     9
                 Jackson
            10
          Knorr

         12     15      7
       Pavon Rivera Richards
             11    24
           Smith Brooks

         17      6       8
      Truman Fuertes Arnaud

                 1
               Allen

As with the World Cup 5 qualifier, Squornshelous started brighter and raced into the lead, with Koren Jackson opening after one minute and lobbing in a second twenty minutes later. With renewed purpose following a supposed hair-dryer treatment by manager Lee Branson at half-time, the Bulls responded on 49 minutes through a fortunate deflection - Callum Jensen's cross coming off of Iain Maidens's knee and zipping into the knee post, with Maidens as caught out as the goalkeeper.

Squornshelous reinstated their advantage shortly after, with Aaron O'Hara clearing a corner weakly and Phillip Knorr converting the gifted chance. Nicky Shearer would respond eight minutes later after a spell of frantic Audioslavian pressure to make the score 3-2, before equalizing via a thunderbolt on eighty-two minutes.

With the wind in their sails, the Bulls, who are on ships in this metaphor apparently, meet Squornshelous broadside-to-broadside over the dying moments of the game. Kieran Murphy's header seemed to have sunk the Squorns, but Pavon scored from an acute angle in the second minute of injury time to send the game to overtime at 4-4.

Extra-time is tired and tense. Branson threw on substitute Paul Ward, a winger too long in the tooth to start at that point but still with a lick of pace.

Halfway through the second period, with neither side making any real progress into the other's terriotory, the ball falls to Paul Ward on the wing. Ward, who's only played twenty minutes of the game and is still sprightly, runs at a startled Squornshelous defence. Paul is the fastest player to play for Audioslavia and it shows, as he absoloutely skins Salazar, cuts in behind Rivera who's scrambling back to cover the defenders. Ward aims a shot but is tripped by Fuertes. The referee points to the penalty spot.

Fuertes is furious at the referee and chases him down, earning the centre-back a yellow card. Arnaud holds him back, but Pavon is equally as furious and expressing his anger towards the referee is given his marching orders. The replay shows that the challenge was a good two feet outside of the area and should warrant nothing more than a free-kick and a possible booking.

The stadium goes silent, as Aaron O`Malley places the ball down on the penalty spot. He walks back, turns, trots up to the ball and strikes it low to the goalkeepers right. Allen guesses the right way but the ball flies underneath his torso. Audioslavia lead 5-4.

The Bulls would go on to win and progress to the final, losing on penalties to Rejistania. Their first appearance in a major final, and their first loss in one. Ward would go on to replace Branson as national team manager the next cycle.

Eight cycles later, Audioslavia and Squornshelous would play a semi-final. With the world's attention largely drawn towards Druida and the fact that the entire population of fellow semi-finalists Vilita had descended on the other host nation, Audioslavia and Squornshelous played out a more muted affair. Just the eight goals. And zero scored in a scrappy first half littered with fouls and bookings.

Squornshelous would open the scoring after the hour through Alexander Popov, a player noted that World Cup for scoring nine goals through qualifiying but having mis-hit a shot so badly against Nova Britannicus that he hit the referee in the head. Scott Neese would have a similar howler four minutes later against the Bulls, skying a golden opportunity to double the Psychoes's lead. Striker Oliver Dannes would punish the error, nipping in behind the defence and chipping the ball over the advancing keeper for 1-1, before letting Jackie McLlroy through for what the travelling Bulls fans hoped would be the winner. No such luck. And this time Audioslavia only had themselves to blame. Solid centre-half Gregor Johnstone had tired throughout the second half and brought Trevor Gerrard down on the edge of the box. Unlike the World Cup 12 quarter-final, this one was a nailed on penalty. Johnstone, already booked, was sent from the field. Gerrard picked himself up, dusted himself down and made it 2-2.

If the end of the second half was anything to go by, then both sides would be reluctant to attack for fear of giving away a goal. It seemed that way for a cautious five minutes, but then everything, everywhere, was goals.

Squornshelous took the initiative with a beautifully worked move which sent Popov through on his own against Peter Andersson. The striker wasted no time in slipping the ball under the goalkeeper for 3-2.

The 'slaves got back into the game sixty seconds later. A hoofed clearance from Aron Ceulemans bounced over Washington's head as he went to claim it in the air. Watching the ball bounce behind the midfielder, Jussi Oskari pounced on it and from fully thirty-five yards, decided to smack the ball as hard as he could. The ball jinked and swerved at a hell of a pace and left Speer helpless as it hit the top of the right-hand post and bounced in.

3-3, and things werent over yet.

The 'slaves kept coming and kept making opportunities, and this time Squornshelous looked like they had no answer. Jansen's pace and McLlroy's finishing skills led to the 'slaves taking the lead for the second time in the game as Jansen outpaced Green down the left and squared the ball for the number nine to score.

The 'slaves were holding up well for a side with ten men, but that defensive frailty would allow Squornshelous to come back into the game with a series of long balls which Audioslavia's stretched defence could not deal with.

Squornshelous almost made it 4-4 with one such pass. Ceulemans' attempt at a defensive header had backfired and had given Nelson the ball thirty yards out with Popov to his right and Gerrard to his left. A quick pass to Gerrard sent the striker through to a one-on-one with the goalkeeper. Gerrard jiggled and jinked his way round Andersson, but with a desperate lunge, the goalkeeper knocked Gerrard down. Another penalty, another sending off for Audioslavia as goalkeeper Andersson was given his marching orders.

Goalie James Walsh was brought on for striker Oliver Dannes, and so the 22-year old goalkeeper was given the biggest test of his life. Should the Pschychoes score the penalty, the 'slaves would really be on the back foot with just nine men, but Popov's effort hit the foot of the post to a collective sigh of relief from the 'slavian faithful. Still 4-3 up, the whistle blew for the first half of extra time.

Substitute goalkeeper James Walsh would become the hero, but he would need some luck in the second period of extra-time. Flapping at a cross and letting it drop over his head, he could only watch as it dropped towards Trevor Gerrard at the far-post. Gerrard, up until then a contender for man-of-the-match, got his foot under the ball and skied it over the bar in agonizing fashion.

Audioslavia would stick the knife in quickly. A counter-attack released Jussi Oskari on the right. The winger shaped to shoot would be cut down by a desperate challenge from Hank Darwin, who would summarily be sent off himself. A cross into the box from the resulting free-kick resulted in a goalmouth scramble that Arie Janssen would score from, and the Bulls would go to the final.

There, they'd lose, cementing a reputation as big-game chokers that, it's fair to say, they have never shaken and will never shake.

71 cycles have passed since Audioslavia and Squornshelous played the sixth and last game of their series. Has time dulled the rivalry? Unquestionably yes - literally nobody except Jeremy Jaffacake can even remember that final Jurassic Invitational Tournament game between the two sides, but feuds like AUD/SQU - or AUD/SRS as it will be tomorrow - never really die. Every one of the tens of thousands of Audioslavians in attendance will have been told, from their mother's breast, that alongside Ko-oren, Krytenia and the like, "Squornshelous are one of Audioslavia's traditional rivals."
"And also get out of my breasts, you're 28 years old."

[Pasarga]

The coalition attack had been a decapitation strike, so far as the mercenaries had been concerned. Their benefactor that had contracted them to participate in this invasion had been killed and there was no way for them to collect the second half of their payment for their involvement. A mercenary was only as loyal as the coin that was paid to them, if the pay was gone, so was any sense of loyalty that the mercenaries might have had to whatever cause had contracted them. Perhaps the Red and Golds should have thought more about diversifying their financial arm rather than having put all their eggs into the financial might of a single person, even if Azad was one of the most wealthy individuals in all of the dual islands, thanks to his position as the Minister of the Interior. Mayhaps there had been a bit of corruption in that, using his position as the minister in order to get an advantage is his dealings that enabled him to amass his fortune that in turn had allowed him then to hire those mercenaries that would have toppled the government he had been a part of. What a weird turn of fate.

However for all the success that the coalition had in their attack, they had been unware of an operation being put into play by the rebel forces at almost exactly the same time as their attack had been initiated. There had been a three pronged attack to try and accomplish one of Azad's main goals, the complete eradication of the Majistar line. That order had not sat well with many who might have other taken up his cause, with the history of the Majistars and their tenure as the Kings and Queens of the Dual Islands. Yet those in his camp were more than willing to attempt the end of the royal bloodline, the only two who were not in the Dual Islands were somewhere safe in Sargossa. Even if they were completely successful, Iskander as well as the Queen Mother would still be alive to keep the line alive, but it would have been a heavy blow to the Majistars as well as give a huge amount of legitimacy to the Red and Golds as the legitimate government that was set to rule Pasarga moving forward.

The largest attack group had moved on Queen Azra in Stilinkeep, nearly a hundred strong force was attempting to storm the Old Keep in Stilinkeep that was used during normal time as the office of the Governor of Peynol. Although Lunas might have claimed to be the most important city on Peynol these days, many people still believed that Stilinkeep was the de facto capital of the island, with that belief being afforded the authority of the governor taking up residence in the Old Keep. It was still early enough in the morning that the sun had not rose when the attack claim, the darkness of the late night/early morning providing cover for the strike teams that were attempting to eliminate the Queen. Had it been just loyalist forces in her security detail, the attack might have had a real chance at success, but the blanket of security that the Sargossans had put around the Queen was not going to be penetrated. Thermal imaging scopes had picked up their movements before they were able to descend upon the keep and the security was ready for the attack before they had even attempted to scale the outer gates. Dozens were cut down while more were injured and captured.

Aslan's security also fared well in fending off the attacks in Lunas, as they had been augmented by a detachment of marines from the Navy when Azad had proclaimed his desire to end the Majistars. There were a few casualties among Aslan's security detail but they had completely rebuffed the attack in earnest. However, despite having washed his hands of the rebels, Ezid would not take any assistance from his cousins nor any of their advice, failing to leave for Sargossa despite his own brother pleading with him to do so. Their mansion had not been stormed, not really, as they had a turncloak in their midst who had opened the doors for the smallest of the attack squads in only two dozen. Staff were killed before they could alert the security as the attack went room by room eliminating everyone in the building, capturing Ezid and Aslan's mother, before finding Ezid in his study with a revolver in hand. Ezid had managed to gun down three of his assailants before their return fire snuffed out the flame of life from the Queen's errant cousin. His mother to would not escape, a single gunshot execution style meant that Aslan was the last remaining member of that branch of the family.

In Torgos, as the sun reached midday, the Red and Gold flag that had been the rebels colors was torn down from the royal mansion and the flag of Pasarga was raised high above. There was still around twenty-five thousand who had defected from the Green cause to the rebels scattered throughout the Dual Islands, but they could not hold the nations capital, not when there was a pair of fleets just off the shore of the capital. The fight for control of the Dual Islands had been won, the price had been high though, now was the fight for the return to normality. Would the defectors continue to resist or would they lay down their arms and put themselves at the mercy of the coalition?

[Delaclava]

Efnakia 1–2 DELACLAVA
Baxayev (o.g.) 84' | Meyer 57' 71'
Cloarec; Baxayev, Champagne, Gouin, Torres (Zhusupov 85'); Bartoš, Romeijn, Tudor, Demirjian (Martin 46'), Kovalev (Anagnakis 46'); Meyer.

The Phoenixes hit the road one last time with the inside track on pole position, looking to rebound from an ugly loss to Flavovespia and surge to the finish line. They didn't have the same offensive explosion as in the first match, but controlled possession throughout the game and finally were blessed by the scoring touch of Lukas Meyer, getting in all alone in the 57th minute for a short tap-in, then a little bit later heading in a free kick delivered beautifully by Gouin. An unfortunate defensive mishap aside, the Phoenixes were in control from jump street, and took one more step to the playoffs.

---

DELACLAVA 3–1 Britland
Gretler 28' 49', Kovalev 90+3' | James (o.g.) 32'
James; Meñica, Champagne, Gouin, Barry (Torres 74'); Bartoš, Romeijn, Tudor (Lindblad 46'), Martin, Kovalev (Meyer 46'); Gretler.

A home finale with everything to play for and Jeruselem and Republica Guanacasteca both hot on the heels of the Phoenixes. And just weeks ago, we could have considered Britland an easy out, but they turned that perception on its head with a stunning upset win. Since then, the Brits (odd name) have picked up a few more victories and seemed game to cause one more disturbance in the qualification picture. Elidyr Lyndainium, for reasons unclear, chose to sit Lukas Meyer in favor of Mathias Gretler, but the youngster was on point with a flying volley to open scoring, then getting an assist from Meyer early in the second half and helping Delaclava retake the lead with a deft finish. The game grew tense as Britland refused to go away quietly, continuing to press and preserve some pride. After a Britland corner kick fell apart, Delaclava pushed the action and Varlam Kovalev found himself streaking down the field alone with the ball. He chose to attack the keeper early, got him out of position and screamed a shot into the back of the net; the fans erupted and the Phoenixes bench spilled out onto the field to celebrate a second straight trip to the playoffs. Defending World Cup champion Græntfjall awaits. The Phoenixes will be lightly regarded, but this is all setting up nicely for a repeat of Delaclava's thrilling comeback against Eura. With history on their side and now two victories in a row, Delaclava won't be short on confidence when they take on their biggest challenge of the season.

Waringpost

Thousands of nurses on ice after new fitness requirements

Hospitals around the nation are beginning to take health seriously in a very different kind of way, instituting policies that doctors and nurses must meet minimum fitness requirements to keep their jobs.

"Our mission is to provide the best medical care possible," said Dr. Richard Herta, the president of Devonshire General Hospital, one of the largest healthcare providers in Delaclava. "This includes not only the treatment of a wide range of injuries and illnesses, but also their prevention. It is our belief that everyone on board must buy into that mission, and that starts and ends with the ones who provide that exceptional medical care."

Devonshire General Hospital, like the majority of hospitals who have instituted such policies, are choosing to administer comprehensive physicals, including requirements for resting heart rate, blood pressure, and exercises such as lunges, pushups, and a five-kilometer run. Dr. Herta did not explain exactly what the standards were, but disclosed that about 200 care providers had been temporarily suspended with pay for failing to meet the standards.

Ashley Taylor, 35, was one such nurse who has been shelved for the time being. She said she stays active and is in good physical health but is currently unable to meet the 25-minute time requirement for the five-kilometer run.

"This is ridiculous," Taylor complained in a social media post. "Nurses are incredibly overworked and unappreciated in a way doctors are not. We're doing our best just to take care of ourselves and our patients in any way. We can't schedule our lives the same way a doctor can and become star marathon runners or something."

However, other forms of these policies have generated even more scrutiny. Some hospitals, such as Carnstone Medical Center, are instead setting standards by body mass index (BMI), where individuals who fall out of the healthy range are furloughed until they re-enter the healthy range.

"I hear people criticize this, like, 'oh it doesn't count for body composition' or 'I have a lot of muscle,'" said Dr. James Crouch, a thoracic surgeon. "And the simple truth is, no, you don't. Look, if it's clear you're a well-built athlete, I'm sure you can get an exception, but if you've just got thick thighs and you're double-fisting creamy coffee drinks, you don't have a leg to stand on - and soon, you won't have toes or feet to stand on either."

At the far end of the spectrum, a few hospitals have instituted the "eye test," with the facilities purporting to gauge health only by a physical exam. David Cox, 28, a nurse who was recently sacked from Laurelum Municipal Hospital, complained how he felt "objectified and demeaned" during such an exam.

"It's not fair at all," Cox whined during a phone interview. "I worked and studied so hard throughout nursing school, I got really good at what I do. Who cares if I was stress eating a little bit during exams and during all my breakups?"

Stanley Leech, a prominent plaintiffs' attorney in Crystal Lake, has pledged to pursue a class action lawsuit for those who are losing job opportunities and wages as a result of such policies.

"This is an unjust restriction on the right to pursue employment, and the extent to which these policies exist suggest a trade-wide conspiracy," Leech proclaimed in a statement on his website, urging potential plaintiffs to call now.

[Brenecia]

Brenecia 2 - 0 Garbelia
(4-4-2) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine (6 - Staplewood 89'), 3 - Culpepper (25 - Reed 61'); 15 - Wake, 19 - Seager (4 - Briggs 76'), 8 - Conway, 10 - Byrne (16 - Marusak 76'); 21 - Lofthouse, 13 - Stokes
Goals: Conway 29', Byrne 41'

Huelavia 2 - 1 Brenecia
(4-4-2) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley (2 - Sidle 76'), 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper; 15 - Wake, 19 - Seager, 8 - Conway (23 - Sitko 70'), 10 - Byrne (7 - Carpenter 84'); 21 - Lofthouse (14 - Tristram 84'), 13 - Stokes (9 - Baker 70')
Goal: Baker 83'

Brenecia 4 - 1 Adab
(4-4-2) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley (2 - Sidle 80'), 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper; 15 - Wake, 19 - Seager (4 - Briggs 80'), 8 - Conway (26 - Meskela 68'), 10 - Byrne; 21 - Lofthouse, 13 - Stokes (24 - Korsak 68')
Goals: Wake 9', Culpepper 16', Byrne 36', Meskela 78'

Polkopia 0 - 1 Brenecia
(4-4-2) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper (25 - Reed 83'); 15 - Wake (7 - Carpenter 62'), 19 - Seager (4 - Briggs 74'), 8 - Conway, 10 - Byrne; 21 - Lofthouse, 13 - Stokes (9 - Baker 62')
Goal: Lofthouse 27'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Qualification post-mortem: Rock-solid Patriots barely outshone by Northlights
Kyli Oswyn

It cannot be said that Brenecia had a bad campaign, and yet, after twenty gruelling matches, the Patriots face the unpromising prospect of a playoff against Quebec. The reason is simple: Savojarna were just better, in a group dominated by defence.

Brenecia took care of the smaller sides, but what will concern them - and give Quebec hope - is the fact that Savojarna took maximum points across two fixtures; and while Quebec will likely look to a different strategy than simply shutting down Brenecia's attack, as Savojarna did very effectively, it shows that this is a Brenecia vintage not proven against the hardest edge. After all, though less than two years have passed since Brenecia's excellent showing last tournament, extensive changes have been made already to try and find that next level.

But the Patriots do deserve credit for the way they edged out results against the other sides, given that a single draw against Savojarna would have seen them top the group. It was not always pretty - in fact, it was frequently anything but - but wins were eked out somehow, reliably. 1-0 wins over Captina Island (twice), Adab and Polkopia (twice) showed the way forward, and the one time the Patriots did genuinely lose control - against the Tetrarchy - the guns blazed to an anarchic 5-3 win regardless.

That match aside, firepower was a problem throughout, and the case could be made that moving to two strikers simply eroded their individual goal threat. Mor-Rioghain Stokes and Jadwiga Lofthouse each scored just five goals, though there were at least no shortage of other contributors on two or three. But crucially, Brenecia could generally edge games regardless. Besides, each striker could make a reasonable case that they were as much there for other factors - Lofthouse for her strength and height, Stokes for her diligent pressing - as for pure goalscoring ability, and they were often relatively starved of chances. Still, Brenecia did have an undeniable issue against low blocks... an issue they won't have, at least, against Quebec.

But Brenecia's own low block was exceptionally effective, and a key reason why proved to be Phoebe Corder. She is not a revelation between the sticks. We do not find ourselves with a name to put alongside Scathach Wright or Mathis Woodgate, and it seems likely that Cessair Meade remains the long-term stopper. But 'Immortal' Corder earned nine clean sheets in her first nine caps, and while there were occasional shakes in the second half of the campaign, she is a far more reliable goalkeeper than the streaky Sorcha Tanner, who Derdriu Wright eventually lost faith in.

Brenecia's biggest strength, however, remains on the flanks. The largest improvement over past sides is likely the combination of Sabrefell Athletic fullbacks Hadley and Culpepper, both having earned their place at a very high level, looking truly comfortable at both ends of the pitch. And of course, they are behind not only the energetic Audioslavia-based Byrne and Wake, the team's true stars, but Kendra Carpenter, a serious luxury to have on the bench.

The bloc in the centre of the park is solid as well, if admittedly stolid. Tamara Seager has been a massive success story, if one that the casuals don't tend to appreciate; not offering beautiful sweeping passes, nor even the crunching, brutal challenges of Mikoliunas, but her more calm, measured, niggling-foul approach suits the side. Iseult Conway has quietly developed into a world-class shuttling midfielder, as those who have witnessed the rise of her club career can confirm, while the central defensive partnership of Killen and Shrine proved impenetrable under pressure.

All in all, Brenecia have to a large degree just been... unlucky, but also overranked. It's a bad look for a top eight nation to slip to the playoffs, and bad luck for them to have faced an excellent Savojarna side who finally perform to the peak of their potential outside of the regionals, and now to be drawn against a 24th-ranked Quebec - a. k. a., a side that, like Brenecia, would expect to make the final tournament.

What will be concerning is Quebec's wealth of attacking talent, with Zinaida Woodcarver striking particular fear into Brenecian hearts, given her status as the A-League's most lethal marksman in recent years before earning a move to the Zenith, while the creativity of Babin and Wawanolett may allow Quebec to win the midfield war. Sandra Middleton between the sticks, meanwhile, is a goalkeeper who would walk into Brenecia's lineup, for all the good Corder has done and for all the potential Meade has.

But Brenecia are still likely the narrow favourites, with Wright likely to array her charges in a low block, two banks of four ready to spring on the counterattack. If they can turn the game into a slow, brutalist quagmire, they should be able to edge out a mercurial Quebec, though the Reapers have no shortage of brilliant players able to break open the game from nothing. If it becomes a truly open game, however, it could get ugly, though Brenecia's considerable pace all across the pitch may alleviate concerns of being exposed. It's not quite a battle of polar opposites, but an intriguing tactical contest... for the neutral. For fans of either side, as ever, it will be absolutely nail-biting.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Independent Athletes from Quebec (IAQ) - World Cup 92 Team
Leg 1, Play-Off vs. Brenecia

GOALKEEPERS (3): Seung-Myeon Kravitz-Hyeon (Montreal Koreana), Sandra Middleton (Brinemouth, NPH), Leopold Shim (Megabrantid, SRS),

DEFENDERS (9): Chewbacca (Hoima Warriors, BNJ), Pierre-Karl Cizeron (CDSA, MYT), Coriolan (Busukuma AC, BNJ), Devlyn Harris (Sporting Iturributa, ASG), Hannah Kim (Damogran, SRS), Clement Mattern-Soh (Perce Town), Pierre-Karl Miller (RGS Athletic, EFL), Benoit-Richard Ukaleq (Mipojoseon), Frederick Yabusele (Atletik Thessia, MYT)

MIDFIELDERS (7): Jean-Christophe Babin (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Mathinna Bouck (Montreal Koreana), Joelinton Dyxkeson (Brantisvogan, SRS), Medea Morin-Antonoff (Southern Star, BRE), Alexei Morozov (Sanford Der Berg PREMIER FK, ZRH), Vegeta (Cazadores Cathair, AUD), Rebecca-Anne Wawanolett (Chromatik, CMT)

FORWARDS (6): Enrico Hanson-Conavacio (Myana, CMT), Hong Yeong-Sahm (Tihon, CMT), Kate Huitema-Omeasoo (Istria City FC, BNJ), Kim Seung-Yoon (RGS Athletic, EFL), Eloise Kweon (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Zinaida Woodcarver (Crisisbless, NPH)

Expected Starting XI vs Brenecia (3-4-1-2):S. Middleton; Chewbacca, Mattern-Soh, H. Kim; Ukaleq, Vegeta - Wawanolett - Miller; Babin; Woodcarver - Huitema-Omeasoo

A particularly raucous crowd of Quebecois journalists, photographers and work-study staff members were waiting for one person on a late-May evening at The Reneegrad.

Enrico Hanson-Conavacio. All’s in the family name - the best and the worst of it - and everybody knew who him and his parents were.

As a second-generation footballer whose father, iconic striker, capped 121 caps and was a household name. Whose mother, world-class Schottian physiotherapist Claire Hanson, had actually won the World Cup 79 with her native Schottia as part of Sir. Lionel Mah’s staff. Whose sister, Hazel ‘HaBron’, was a two-sport athlete who had since focused solely on basketball. And whose brother, Matteo, was an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling of all sports.

That said, everybody knew this would be solely his occasion. A goof known for having a temper of his own, he had long been part of media conferences and interviews countless of times as a player, a son, and as a brother. But everybody knew that it would feel entirely different this time, for Enrico Hanson-Conavacio was ready to retire from the national team after a memorable decade of international play.

It wasn’t something that had surprised those more familiar to the RQFA caucus in Reneegrad, Joongyeong, especially with Enrico reaching the same age that Leonardo had once retired twenty-eight years ago in 2028. As his father had once done, he had managed to bring Quebec to qualification, and even brought back a couple of memorable wins to his name. For what he could not bring to his ‘native’ Schottia, his mother's nation where he had represented until the Under-21 level, Enrico had managed to be the talisman of the Quebecois side that needed a mercurial presence like him.

The past two years leading up to it, where the striker had increasingly said words of uncertainty about his future, bothered many. Entering his fifth and final cycle the RQFA staff, including Ruben Condori their manager, had found his behaviour frustrating and eventually would ask him to stay one more round. To prepare them for the eventual target of reaching qualification by the World Cup 93.

Unfortunately, much of this had also come with the turtleneck of their talent where the Grim Reapers, outside of the current group where you have three to four golden ball candidates in Kim Seung-Yoon for RGS, Kate Huitema-Omeasoo of Istria City, and him and Zina Woodcarver (whether this claim held true for Zina was another story, of course), actually held depth-related issues. There was a genuine issue with lack of striker talent coming up, and with Hwang and Hong still more of a future project, the hole he would left behind’s going to feel even greater with his departure. Unlike his father, who had come from an era of even deeper talent in star forwards, Enrico’s presence would be dearly missed.

A dozen years of absence from international football also played a role with the collective fear over Enrico’s departure as well. A dozen year period of absence from all international football in Quebec, while self-inflicted due to a series of corruption scandals that had occurred in the co-hosting of World Cup 77 in year 2028, had left a massive gap between the so-called Golden Generation of Grim Reapers and that of Enrico’s generation. Veterans from the fourth-place squad like Leonardo Conavacio, Xavier Hertel, Jeong Hye-Min and Kang Man-Jin would retire from football in the subsequent years and outside of Leonardo, who always held interest in a managerial career, most would choose to enjoy the next phases of their lives - Xavier in Jeruselem, Jeong in Nephara, and Kang in Eastfield Lodge.

Some of younger guys would eventually return to Quebec and retire after some time in domestic football, while more known names, like Hazel van Robben, Ondrej ‘the ageless’ Cech, and Neville McKinley would go onto have a long career well beyond what they would have originally imagined.

Defying time, age and gravity. People would say as they, with the television contracts to foreign leagues still running without a trouble, would watch their stars play on and on. Away from the pressure of playing for the Tricolour Taegeuk they thrived - Hazel at 1830 Cathair, Neville McKinley Canalave Dragons, and Ondrej playing into his mid-40s with Turoki Tide - and a couple would even feature in the World Cup Qualifying 85 squad as a fitting farewell to their legendary careers.

So with Enrico, an ‘undisputed superstar’ of the team since their return to international football, departing the team for once and all at the end of this cycle, the RQFA collectively had a lot to answer. What’s next? Why so early? Is this an end of a generation? All the questions that had surrounded his incoming news of retirement, which had buzzed into a nuclear mushroom that had surrounded HMQS Condori up to this very moment, had made this press conference even more.

For most of this cycle the RQFA, as a protective measure for their new manager and a good number of players scrutinised for their play, had put strict surveillance around Quebecois media, and minimised media schedule where necessary. Strict media embargoes were placed on all outlets for more controversial of news that were to come earlier in the cycle, with a couple of junior-rank journalists seeing their careers end because of their ‘disrespect to the journo-code’. This time, however, was different with the RQFA Board and its Public Relations department, who would otherwise say as little as possible, being open to media. It was almost as if those at The Reneegrad had acknowledged that everybody had known and assumed the worst possible outcome was going to happen, and that unlike Marco Hertel’s departure, now known as the Faroleran Bonfire, people would be able to say a fitting goodbye to the man who had succeeded just like his father once did three decades ago, even if his part on the book of Quebecois footballing history may be lot smaller.

‘En-ri-co! En-ri-co!’ Massive rounds of chanting his name had occurred as Enrico Hanson-Conavacio entered the podium, the thirty-four year old striker not frozen by thousands of flashes headed his way. Many would wonder if there was anybody else coming to this press conference too, but they would soon find that they did not need anybody else, for Enrico himself was more than capable of handling the conference on his own.

He has had an outstanding career so far, he held universal respect and adoration from his players, and the Quebecois media would never have a trouble with the media-friendly striker of Myana, who always had quirky things to say and had no heart to be rude to anybody who wanted a word or two of his. It was a rare quality that nobody in this group of Grim Reapers, with perhaps the exception of Jean-Christophe Babin and Pierre-Karl Miller, held. Kate Huitema-Omeasoo and Zinaida Woodcarver had stardom but were shy people who preferred to do their own thing, while Sandra Middleton’s a quiet, stout presence in the back-row as her father, another Grim Reapers’ legend in Adrian Middleton, used to be. Joelinton Dyxkeson, while really emerging into his own body frame, was still awkward and Vegeta, while most talented of all players on this team, was remarkable and volatile at the same time like now-retired Marco Hertel, the father of 28 children from 28 different partners.

So really, nobody was able to add the additional layer of universal adoration and career that Enrico had and it showed, as he would open his mouth.

‘Oh my, here it comes!’ Enrico opened his mouth, his Schottic-Acadien accent showing as those in the audience laughed. ‘Yes! I think we all know why we are here. I’m sure you and I are thinking about the same question - is Enrico Hanson-Conavacio, the eldest of four (in-)famous Conavacio siblings, going to retire from the Grim Reapers or not? Well don’t worry, I didn’t forget - my wife reminded me so.’

Enrico had a wife? He had children? He would hear a few members of the crowd, who were not as versed with his personal life, murmur from some distance. His marriage to Mirjana Ognjenovic, a high school mathematics teacher based in Equinox Hill, Inteachan province, was rarely mentioned to the public. Of course the entire national team knew who she was, and the fact that they had a couple of children, Dragan and Tijana, back in Quebec.

But Enrico, for someone who thrived on the media spotlight, had kept his family life extremely private, and thus many had assumed that he was single or divorced.

‘Yes, yes, I know that probably surprised some of you, but I do have a family and life outside of football, media and fun engagements. I would have been as surprised as y’all may be feeling right now,’ Enrico chuckled. ‘But don’t worry, guys. This isn’t entirely about my private life. Now let’s get to it.’

[Graintfjall]

Sannyamathland – 1 (0)
(75’)

Græntfjall – 4 (2)
Björnólfur; Alyssia (63’ Tom ), Grímúlfur, Asbjørn, Jasmijn (28’ Jan ); Danny (50’) (76’ Valtter ), Tinni; Johanna (63’ Ari ), Kaeja (83’), Sara (c) (58’) (76’ Vanessa ); Jason (23’ pen., 45+2’)

A full strength Snow Wolves side took a 2–0 lead at half-time against Sannyamathland, hurried off the field to check on the score from Tikariot, and came back out to slam in two more goals en route to a convincing – and ultimately futile – victory. The Snowy Owls’ dropped points to Loyo failed to cost them as they took all three against Britonesia, and with them the group. Cheer for their transalpine neighbors’ return to the World Cup echelon was significantly dampened at knowing it came at their own cost, and the Snow Wolves will now travel to Delaclava for the mild-to-moderate humiliation of World Cup champions having to play-off for their chance at defending their title. It’s tempting to say the Snow Wolves did little wrong but get drawn into the Snowy Owls’ group. The five points they dropped to their rivals were the difference between them and Banija, who finished with the best qualifying record across all World Cup groups; they themselves were eighth overall, ahead of eight group winners. The world number one and two ranked sides, Turori and The Holy Empire, are also playoff bound. Their failure resides almost entirely in the single defeat they suffered – yet of course, not losing the key game is precisely what defined their last campaign.

The consensus best team remained relatively constant through qualifying, with the biggest flux at the Snow Wolves’ perennial source of turbulence, right back. Alyssia Noahsdóttir’s pace and offensive skill, set against her defensive frailties and lack of physical presence, led to Sigurbergur Geirröðursson seeing more playing time than her. Vanessa Marvinsdóttir flitted in and out of selection, but the changes there seemed to reflect more indecision over the best set-up: while Thor clearly favored Jason Þórhallursson as a lone striker, with Vanessa on the wing, the team at times looked a more complete offensive package with Mímir Waltheofsson or Röskvi Tyrfingsson playing alongside him. Jasmijn Spiderlair overcame injury issues to establish herself fairly consistently at left-back; Eyvar Mathiasson missed much of qualifying but Asbjørn Vilbjörnsson proved a more than valuable replacement. Defense against set pieces, a vulnerability early on, definitely improved.

Team for playoffs:

---

The first paper endorsed the Prog-Libs, the second paper did not, hence the different tones.

Landslide: election rout gives Græntfjall its first majority government of the century

Kaija Michaelsdóttir will lead the first majority election in modern Græntfjaller history after the incumbent Prime Ministers’s Progressive Liberal seized a crushing win at the polls. Boosted by her personal popularity with voters and a ‘rally around the flag’ effect amid the Græntfjaller War On Terror (GWOT), Michaelsdóttir’s Progressive Liberals further capitalized on disarray among opposition parties on both left and right. With Left-slate leader Ingiberg Leifsson facing damaging criticism ever since it was revealed he worked as an informant for the Left Hand, and Blue-Greens struggling to regain voters’ favor following their electoral annihilation under Benjamín Styrbjörnsson, the centrist Progressive Liberals charted a free and easy course to victory, and will be able to form the next government without needing to enter into coalition, thus consigning the Liberal-Conservative Alliance to backbench irrelevance. In brief remarks celebrating the overnight results, Michaelsdóttir spoke to supporters at campaign headquarters promising that she would “never forget the awesome responsibility this historic vote has placed upon” her shoulders.

Pre-election polls heavily favored the Progressive Liberals even before the Leifsson revelations. “The strong economic recovery from the recession of the 20s has been the real engine of this win,” says Örlaugur Beitisson, professor of political science at the University of Waltenberg. The coalition of Progressive Liberals and Liberal-Conservative Alliance enacted tax reforms and liberalized the financial sector, the so-called ‘Græntfjaller Big Bang’, which has caused investment to rush in and business confidence to increase. The “huge” new jobs numbers announced just before election purdah provided “the final blow in that narrative”, says Beitisson. “It became very difficult for the opposition when every campaign ad, every campaign speech, was hammering on the message of prosperity. People don’t like to vote against their own pocket books.” He suggests that the vote was less of an endorsement of Progressive Liberal social policy, which is “still to the left of the general public”, but that Blue-Greens “struggled to define the election on such issues when they’d ceded so much ground by voting with the government on many of the economic reforms”.

Insiders credit Kimberley Valsdóttir and Auðlín Ásgilsbur, Michaelsdóttir’s chief of staff and head of communications, with running a “tight ship” during the election campaign. According to one senior Progressive Liberal, the two ran the election campaign from Central House while allowing “local party chairs to drift away from the national message where it would be helpful”. “JDFU was the mantra,” says one experienced precinct captain: ‘just don’t fuck up’. “All the messaging was about the economy, and then the attack ads on security really drove the message home.” Michaelsdóttir’s senior aides “redrew the election map”, according to long serving Blue-Green pollster Hergill Oddþórsson. “They tried to be competitive in every city, every district, every seat. Left-slate were being forced to defend seats that haven’t seen a viable race in thirty years.” Even those displeased by the conduct of Michaelsdóttir’s aides admitted their efficacy. “I saw Valsdóttir reduce a very senior MT to tears, absolutely humiliating him, because he’d gone off the message calendar,” said one insider with knowledge of the campaign’s intimate hierarchy. “But you know, he went back and won by 10 points in a seat he hadn’t held by but 2 [in 2027].”

Others put the credit with Michaelsdóttir herself. “The Græntfjaller election system is meant to guard against tyranny of the majority and ensure broad coalition government, but [Michaelsdóttir] has basically turned her party into a broad coalition in itself,” said a senior politician whose name may rhyme with Blavid Blaustmannsson. “She’s a market liberal one day, a social democrat the next; stirring the pot on immigration one day and handing out vegan meals at multifaith festivals the next; she tacks to the left on gay rights and to the right on trans rights. And none of the attacks on her land because she’s shifting like the sands of the Great Akhdari Desert.” However, the senior politician, whose job title definitely isn’t Blormer Blime Blinister, predicts a cost to come for such an “expansive” approach to political messaging. “You’ve heard the one about the person who built his – or, perhaps, her – house on shifting sand? He got eaten by a kraken.”

Also in the paper:

• NEWS: Queen continues Sonnelian journey, taking in Delaclava: “I have learned a great deal about bananas”
• BUSINESS: Markets react strongly and króna surges on election results
• POLITICS: Brjánsson to resign as Blue-Greens seek yet another new leader
• WEATHER: Early snow belies forecasts of warming winter season
• SPORT: Oddkellsson must step up in midfield anchor role against Phoenixes

---

Altendalur Convention under threat as election recriminations begin

Kaija Michaelsdóttir’s historic majority victory at the polls has shaken the Græntfjaller political order, but further aftershocks could yet emanate from the general election. The Altendalur Convention that created the Left-slate of Græntfjall’s major left-wing parties is tonight said to be under threat of collapse as senior Social Democratic Party members are meeting to discuss disaffiliation from the agreement. Signed following years of Liberal-Conservative political domination and struggles for left-wing parties to achieve meaningful results, the Altendalur Convention led to a resurgence for a political left struggling to define itself in the wake of the fall of communism, and produced two coalition governments, led by Zóphonías Juliusson. But having achieved their worst results since the Convention was first signed, the Social Democrats are said to be considering new political realignment.

The cloud hanging over current leader Ingiberg Leifsson has opened up deep divisions within the left. Backed by the Socialist Party and elements of the Labor Party, Leifsson was never the Social Democrats’ choice of leader, though the party rank and file initially warmed to his upbeat economic messaging and inclusive approach to decision-making. However, revelations that he may have acted as a communist informant – revelations he strongly denies, and which he insists are part of a manufactured plot to discredit left-wing activism – have severely soured his reputation. An EGM of the Social Democratic leadership narrowly failed to vote to ask him to resign as leader before the election campaign began, but if he does not now stand down the leadership council are said, by those familiar with the thinking of several of those involved, to be considering disaffiliating.

The possibility of a new centre-left alignment has been increased by the presence of Reform 30/30, a new party founded last year by Victoría Valdimarsdóttir. The party outpaced expectations despite the damaging moment with “Sylvia the Server”, a Progressive Liberal plant who harangued Valdimarsdóttir over tax policy, and managed to pass the threshold for proportional representation in the Thing. Valdimarsdóttir has insisted her party has no plans to merge with existing parties and is “neither left nor right”, instead with a major focus on climate change and environmental issues, but in practice mainly drew voters away from Left-slate. Meanwhile Nusaiba Jihaadsdóttir el-Siddiqui, former Socialist welfare minister who drifted from public life following corruption allegations, is said to be considering a comeback heading a new party trying to unite the anti-War On Terror left.

In this edition:

• EDITORIAL: Incoherent foreign policy the biggest challenge for new government
• Flurry of snowflakes “prove nothing”: climate scientists reject “alarmism” tag
• Queen’s royal jaunt shows no sign of slowing down. Nor does the price tag.
• Short story: The Installation Artist and The Gherkin Entrepreneur
• Donation drive – help bring justice to power with an annual subscription

[Ceni]

Bicentennial Stadium, Ceni
Ceni 2-3 Valentine Z
 '42 Falkenrath, '95 Cyn-Penzag

Undisclosed Location, Duomji
StrayaRoos Barrier Islands 3-4 Ceni
 '25 Halagués, '28 Ai. Koromin, '40 Koriden, '44 Ellex-Mar

LINEUP vs. KO-OREN (leg 1)
Glasvyrn; Farthen, Guri-Montague, Sontebren; Valaran, Falcón, Renning; As. Koromin, Santa Oria; Cyn-Penzag, Ellex-Mar

Ceni stumbles at final hurdle with chance to win Group 1; earns playoff berth against Ko-oren

With everything on the line, the Cenian national football team entered the last qualifying window with high hopes and lofty aspirations. One point would secure a playoff spot for the World Cup Finals; six points could buy them a shot at the number one group position and a direct ticket to Electrum and Vilita.

But a vexing loss against Valentine Z ended chances at a Golden Ticket. A point against StrayaRoos Barrier Islands would save their playoff dreams, but they would have to have to roll the dice with their playoff opponents. And with teams like the Holy Empire, Audioslavia, Cassadaigua and Eura in contention for the playoffs, it would more than likely send Ceni to a Cup of Harmony at home.

Of course, the final game would under a geopolitical shadow that had not previously loomed in this qualifying campaign: they would travel against StrayaRoos Barrier Islands where they were at risk of falling victim to a genocidal campaign against that country's human population.

Ceni pulled out with a full three points and a play-off spot. The reward? Ko-oren, a tough nut to crack, for sure. Ceni will be lucky to score even a single goal against them.

But first, how did we get here?

***

Heading into the home game against Valentine Z, Ceni was confident. After all, it had already notched an away victory against Valentine Z, and Longstar thought the team had a fighting chance at home in the Cenial Halcyon National Stadium, which had a reputation as a Cenian home bastion. The devoted fans would show up, the casual fans would show up, even the students in their traditional student coveralls would show up.

Even a few devoted fans dressed with Tir Snake zentai costumes would show up to support the team.

It was an own goal in the match's first half that set the tone for the remaining 65 minutes. Really, nobody knows what happened: Holly, Kortnev and Joaquina were all over the place. Valentine Z earned a corner kick; everyone concentrated around the goal; the ball landed on Holly's foot and it ricocheted around the goal box before nutmegging Leo Glasvyrn. Yup: That's where it ended up amidst the chaos.

Of course, Ceni loves to sulk in its own misery. Pretty much soon afterward, the defense fumbled. In response, Longstar substituted in a rusty Joshua Kosokhan, who made at least one other regrettable error. Soon, Ceni found itself 3-0 down within the first 40 minutes.

And while Falkenrath and Cyn-Penzag made admirable efforts, the latter scoring just as the final whistle blew in injury time, Ceni could just not score enough goals to beat Valentine Z. It was a disappointing match, to be sure; at least Cenian players can be thankful that they don't have Mjolnir to contend with.

We won't dwell much on the StrayaRoos Barrier Islands match in this qualifying post-mortem; one of our colleagues will take that unenviable task. In the end, it was almost a miracle that the whole team didn't get arrested and thrown in a camp. (Editors' note: It was hardly a miracle; we thank the Diplomatic Security Service from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs from fending off all potential re-education threats, both the intelligence analysts and the burly Quebecois-Cenian security guards dispatched to defend the team.)

Suffice it to say, the match was messy and tentative at best, with Ceni avoiding the infamous Strayan "murderous emus" as much as possible. The defense suffered, almost precisely because Ceni's experienced defensive back line refused to make the trip and spend their upcoming retirement in a re-education camp. But in the end, Ceni's young team came through, scoring four goals in a jam-packed first half to essentially secure a win. Sure, things almost fell apart in the second half when the emus attacked Ceni's positions and the defense scattered rather than get sent to the hospital.

But Ceni pulled through, ending qualification with 40 points.

As a middling sixth seed in the group with the most combined KPB points of any qualifying group, any neutral observer would call it a coup de grace. Indeed, its performance earned it a place on Baker Park's biannual Overachiever Awards. But with Savigliane ending on 42 points, the loss to Valentine Z assumed new relevance and sent Ceni's fans kicking itself.

It would wait for its fate in the playoff draw.

***

Ko-oren.

That was the name that Ceni drew for the playoffs.

Number twelve in the world and a mind-numbing SIX goals conceded across twenty games of qualifying. Seven might have been auspicious for Ceni; six is just insurmountable. Anything other than a victory with two clean sheets would probably be notched as a disappointment in Katherine Davenport's book, especially against an opponent barely ranked inside the top 100.

So then how should Ceni approach the two-legged tie? Longstar could consider a "park the bus" approach to counter Ko-oren's "post-football" style and weak offense. But that would surely disappoint the fans at the Cenial Halcyon National Stadium, which is sure to be packed in a critical match for Ceni's football return, and leave Ceni in the hole should Ko-oren score.

Alternately, Ceni could go all guns blazing and try its darndest to maintain possession and create as many scoring chances as possible. Again, that would leave Ceni open to a scoreline that might look like this: Ceni 0-1 Ko-oren, Ceni 63% possession and 15 shots on goal, Ko-oren 37% possession and one shot on goal. That result might result in a riot.

Everyone agrees that Ceni should aim for penalties, therefore. But how can it get to penalties and pull off a massive upset? At least Longstar has made up his mind: In line with Ceni's traditional instincts, the team will go out all guns a-blazing; Ceni's traditional defensive midfielder Nova Kymeri will be replaced with Sofia Falcón, more of a box-to-box player who can hopefully set up more chances for the team. Longstar has also opted for a relatively young team across the board; Valaran and Glasvyrn will be the only starters above 28.

Of course, there's another wrinkle in this whole messed-up business: World Cup Committee President Katanmak Juliasterinthen has threatened to remove the Cup of Harmony from the Cenian FA should Ceni beat them. Of course, Ceni will not beat Ko-oren for other reasons, but it's just another political cloud hanging over the team, a political cloud that it doesn't need.

(Editors' note: The editors quite strenuously believe that Juliasterinthen was joking. The writer, citing her mother who would always say serious and half-hearted
things in the same breath, refused to change her analysis.)

At this point, there is nothing Cenian fans can do but show up, root for our team — and perform the necessary invocations of Margaret, of course.

Oh, and hope that the Spinning Leek's discount for losing teams is still valid for playoff losers.

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 21
Eura 2–0 Sudilia
Scorers:
Robson 52, West 79
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason
4. J Menard
15. K Sherwood (sub Green 64)
25. Q Phillips
3. L Almwood
6. J Gates
8. V Robshaw (sub Vincent 59)
12. O James (sub West 62)
9. S Robson (sub Matthews 87)
17. R Brookfield (sub Vivier 75)

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 22
Banija 3–3 Eura
Scorers:
James 16, Malone 54, Sharp 67
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
5. T Green
27. M Hart (sub Menard 82)
19. J Byrd
6. J Gates
16. O Vincent (sub Robshaw 57)
11. B Malone (sub West 75)
12. O James (sub Matthews 84)
7. A Woodman
14. A Sharp (sub Reeve 80)
10. S Singh

---

‘HOW ABOUT IT! Yes! Get roundly fucked!’
Darren was at the top of his game, and he wanted everyone to know about it.
‘Hey, Sammie man? How’s it feel? To be in the presence of a God..’
Everyone on the trading floor ducked their head slightly. A few tutted. A couple giggled but pretended the hadn’t as soon as they regained their composure. Franca, the Sameban forex trader sitting across from Darren, went red in the face from embarrassment at the slur.
‘Oh, come on man’ Darren pleaded, waltzing over, and giving Franca a “playful” thump on the back, ‘its just the kind of banter we do here, alright? Its nothing personal. Don’t be soft, eh?’
‘Yeah. Sure.’ Franca swallowed the abuse – not for the first time – and tried not to dwell on it as Darren swaggered back to his desk with wild eyes and an itchy nose.
Somewhere across the floor, a manager was keeping a watchful eye on Darren, and anyone who shared his vices.

‘We are on the up!’ declared the CEO of BrigEX, Darren’s hugely successful firm in the latest all staff email. He wasn’t just talking about the company. He was talking about Brigham.
It seems a bit strange to describe any Euran city as “on the up” because, well, where else would they go? Eura was the economic pot everyone wanted to stick their ladle in, and all its megacities had their own strengths. Holdenberg had its steel, Falourr its shipbuilding, Directus its digital and creative sector, and Bastion had the entire lot.
But Brigham had quietly become a rival financial services competitor on top of its strong manufacturing and agricultural core, chipping away at the dominance of Bastion with every day that passed. BrigEX and many companies like it were increasingly becoming a more visible part of the city’s success story. They didn’t just cultivate profit anymore – to be inside the club was to be connected to the political and social upper echelons of the city, towering over the millions quietly living out their lives in the endless rows of tower blocks beyond the central districts.

Darren revelled in this, of course. It had become not just part of him but all of him. Keeping it up wasn’t easy. As the afternoon wore on, it wore him down, and so Darren decided he needed a toilet break. And by toilet break we mean…
Snnnnfffff!
…you can probably work it out.
Darren returned to the floor revitalised. Better. Faster. Stronger. Sniffier.
Everything was just working. His heart was pumping at a mile a minute. The blaring music that obnoxiously escaped his headphones hit every note his brain needed. No-one, and nothing, was going to bring him down.
As far as he was concerned, he was the king of the office. Katie came into view – the new girl on the desk behind him. I’m definitely her type he thought, and acted upon, trying it on at the first opportunity. And the second, and third, and fourth…
By the time she’d fobbed him off yet again, Darren was starting to feel a bit down. Maybe he should get a coffee, or an early dinner. It was almost close of play after all.

Or…
Wham, bam! He was back. The King of BrigEX hit the town.
An expensive dinner followed by champagne with his gaggle of mates from across the firm, who were of course complete dickheads in every sense. Lots of punch-down laughter at the expense of those who didn’t fit into the social mould they had established.
There was Katie again at the bar afterwards.
‘Did you know my father is on the board of Harther Corporation?’
She was unimpressed. He pushed her just a little too far, and she had enough, and made it clear to him with terse words and a shove – so he backed off. Ever the bullshitter, he laughed off the inappropriate approaches. ‘It’s banter! Get a grip love!’
More booze, a packet of crisps and a run in at the bar, ‘You work in the public sector? Pfft…’, but Darren escapes again, somehow remaining un-punched.

Time to top up.
But there’s nothing left.
Shit! Darren reached for his phone and scrolled down to an unnamed contact he had been calling once a week for the last six months.
’Hey. Business?’
‘Pleasure, my friend!’ A couple of the lads screamed down the phone. Whoever was on the end sighed and gave a location, then hung up.
Him and his fellow pricks made their way to a dodgier side of the district, hemmed in between looming blocks of Eura’s iconic mass social housing. Fifty stories high and home to millions, they were a sight that dominated every one of the big cities.
‘Ayyyyy! Leo Miletic, my man!’
A short man in pricey loungewear shook his head as he approached. ‘I told you not to use the second name mate. Keep it in your fucking hole.’

‘Woah, alright! Man, fucking Mytanars, you’re all fucking terrifying, aren’t you?’ Darren ruffled Leo’s hair. Leo glowered back at him. ‘Oh, don’t be so sour, I’m not a bigot. I love you lot. That Fran-Prpic Bosanac, fuck, what a player!’
Leo ignored the idiocy and kept his eye on the prize. ‘Money. Two hundred.’
‘Fine, fine.’ Once the cash was exchanged, Leo made an about turn and left.
‘Hey! I thought we were mates?’
Leo said nothing. Darren, perplexed as to why the scruffy underling wasn’t grateful for his investment, got briefly annoyed but then moved on. He made sure to re-establish his credibility with the chaps on the way, making a couple of jokes about “Escan teen pregnancy sheds” and how they were lucky not to get stabbed.
The night resumed. Another bar, then a club.
Dancing! A woman! Sharing his next boost with her, well…that worked wonders. Brigham had everything; no strings attached sex was no exception.
But when that woman woke up the next morning, her first reaction was to let out a scream.
Darren’s heart had given out.
Terrible banter.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Bees face off against Adab in bid for WCF
Scott McCrae
The Mail on Sunday Chief Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team open their playoff tie against Adab at the Adab City Stadium, marking the third time its' qualification hopes depend upon coming out ahead on the scoreboard over two matches.

BP finished off their climb from 5th to 2nd place with a 3-0 win over Darmen at the BBP Stadium, which will be the scene for the second leg, moving their unbeaten run over the second half of the campaign to nine straight matches, the final five being wins.

The Bees are one of the form sides at the moment, and overtaking Delte for second place on the penultimate matchday means they are the last of the 15 runners-up instead of being the last of the third placed sides, which would have seen them facing World Cup champions Graentfjell instead of the Adabians.

The other story from qualifying as it affects the playoffs is the fact that 5 of the top 12 ranked nations are battling to make the Finals in Electrum & Vilita, making this one of the most intriguing 2 v 3 elimination rounds since BP and Banija qualified for the first time in World Cup 80.

Baker Park have allowed only 5 goals over their five match winning streak—with back to back clean sheets against New Gelderland and Darmen--and just 10 in the 9 match run since the loss to Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison to open the return fixtures portion of WCQ 92; Manager Jennifer Prescott credits the change in offensive approach to the improvement at the back.

“We've always experimented with tactical things during quali, especially when we're mixing and matching players in the game day squad, a 'horses for courses' thing. When we stopped mixing things up, playing fast and cute and just going back to normal PPMP*, we were holding the ball longer, creating better opportunities, not putting the back line under as much pressure.”

Prescott knows the first leg is usually the key in these situations, and wants her side's experience to come to the fore on the road.
“We've been in this spot before, we've been in high stakes matches and have a core squad that knows how to cope in pressure situations. We have a great deal of respect for (Adab) based on what we've seen on tape. They are not going to be easy to break down in the final third in open play. We've got a couple of new set piece things we've been working on, and they might come into play if we can continue the form we've had lately.”

______________________________________________________________________________



Schoenlein on campaign trail--”How would anything be better?”
Commonwealth Press Association wire story

(Coolville)--Federalist Party leader Rebecca Schoenlein, speaking at a multi-candidate party rally in Coolville Saturday said that voters need only look at recent shifts toward right wing parties in other nations to see that staying the course in the Commonwealth with the Federalists is the only choice to keep the nation on track.

“Every time there has been a lurch to the right in this country, everyone suffered—families, businesses, markets—and you don't have to look far to see how that manifested itself in these current times where other nations have brought in reactionary politics and ideas; even centrist parties that fear the far right have taken stances that go against what their rank & file have believed previously”.

The two term Prime Minister contrasted the stability and prosperity of Baker Park with nations that have seen difficult economic times; “Federalists have done right by this country for over 70 years. We've developed and maintained a strong national infrastructure to allow industry and business to thrive; we've strengthened and continue to push our military capability higher, not because we look to bully or frighten our neighbors, our region or any region but to say to the multiverse that we will stand up and act in the interest of international justice and in protection of people harmed by injustice by either their own or by outside threats.”

She continued the message by emphasizing that Parkers have the best of both political worlds at present. “We are committed to re-calculating GST lower, at the same time protecting the standard of living and the nation's social contract. Under different leadership than what we provide, how would anything in your life be better than it is presently?"


Lineup vs Adab 1st Leg

McCormack; Brooks, Onikambe, Bauer; Eichorn, Vuckovic, Milton, Altman; Price; West (C), Harris

[PotatoFarmers]

Hapilopper 2–2 Poafmersia
Goalscorers: Janelle Frederick 37' (assisted by Michael Jackson); Leontiy Seet 70' (assisted by Williamson)
Lineup: Nicole Potts (c); Lovise Zimmerman, Cindy Oriol, Kelefe Hans, Xenophon Robson; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Aapeli Shea; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitutes: Erle Sartini (Jackson 45'); Liina Williamson (Huerta 45'); Magreta Rym (Shea 62'); Sylvia Fusco (Shea 62'); Nikkita Alfrao (Hans 84')

Poafmersia 3–0 Srednjaci
Goalscorers: Kilikina Lee 25'; Jordan Huerta 40' (assisted by Seet); Leontiy Seet 67'
Lineup: Nicole Potts (c); Kilikina Lee, Nacro Astro, Diamond Byan, Zak Kaloyanov; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Aapeli Shea; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitutes: Agapito Murphy (Huerta 70'); Tessa Bjarnesen (Frederick 82')

Poafmer Times

Panelists from around the world invited to vote on playoff winners

People around the world were invited to predict on the winner of the respective ties, trying to figure out who would be the last 15 teams that will secure their tickets to Vilita and Electrum. And most of the predictions seems to be largely in favour of a particular side. Here are the voting percentage, as of press time.

Delaclava vs Graintfjall - 90% voted for the defending champions to win.
Delte vs Eura - 100% were supportive of Eura
Acastanha vs Drawkland - 90% in favour of Drawkland
Mytanija vs Pasarga - 60% are in favour of Mytanija, the most divisive vote among the 15.
Independent Athletes from Quebec vs Brenecia - 60% in favour of Quebec, equally divisive as the previous
Kimi-Suomi vs Kelssek - 90% in favour of Kelssek
Ceni vs Ko-oren - 90% in favour of Ko-oren
Yuezhou vs Flavovespia - 70% in favour of Flavovespia
Geektopia vs The Holy Empire - 90% in favour of the World Cup 90 winners
The Cordian Isles vs Turori - 90% in favour of the producers of Cocoa-bo
Audioslavia vs Squornshelan Remnant States - 70% in favour of the Bulls.
Sendhang vs TJUN-ia - 70% in favour of TJUN-ia.
Cassadaigua vs Poafmersia - 70% in favour of Cassadaigua
Milchama vs Mercedini - 60% believe that Milchama will overcome the odds to win the tie.
Adab vs Commonwealth of Baker Park - While this is a close match on paper, 80% believe Baker Park's streak of qualifying will come through.

[Vilita]

FAVE - ITS PLAYOFF TIME - WC92Q ✓

@FAVE92

Nobody wants to see a Spinning Leek in the Nude. We recommend you put clothes on first. One Leg at a Time. #WC92


#CUTOFF : #Leg1

[Turori]

A Look Back at Vumaou's Flock: The Original Cocoabo Squad

Cocoabo Preservation Society, Kionao, Turori :: While many are familiar with the story of the Golden Generation of Turori's National Cocoabo Squad, trained and evolved thanks to a modern partnership between the Cocoabo Preservation Society and Tropicorp to create the Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Project at Cocoabo Park, a small corridor at the Cocoabo Learning Center in Kionao tells the story of Turori's "Original Cocoabo Squad" - the first known example of Cocoabo representing the Island Emirate of Turori in sports.

"Vumaou's Flock" took the field during World Cup 30 Qualifying after the original generation of Turori's Citizen Squad began to age out. Having set a record for the most Quarter Final Appearances without advancing beyond that level with six such eliminations in eight cycles, the Football Association of Turori turned to Vumaou to lead the team beyond the Quarter Finals and the former National Team striker turned to the Cocoabo. Vumaou had stunned the sporting multiverse on the opening matchday of World Cup 30 Qualifying against an upstart team known as the 'Elves Security Forces' still three cycles away from their World Cup Finals debut. There had been no announcement prior to the match that Turori would be fielding a squad of Cocoabo. Most of the multiverse had never even heard of Cocoabo at that point but they would soon be introduced to Turori's native National Animal.

... A deafening silence fell over the crowd as a heard of what appeared to be slightly oversized ducks ran almost athletically out of the tunnel. When it became apparent that these creatures were fully adorned in the national kit, however, smiles and chuckles broke out accross the arena. "Well, it appears as if their will be a little bit of pre-game entertainment before we're started here, as it looks that some creatures are out to have a bit of a kick about!" Former Turorian midfielder Malaino Mumamba exclaimed over the live broadcast. "Well, it seems that creature with the #11 shirt on has a bit of skill! I wonder how they've trained them so well. What are those things, anyway?"

At that point in Turori's history, advanced communications were only available in the major cities. While the Cocoabo is an easily recognized symbol of Turori in modern times, back then, the Cocoabo had long been pushed from the cities and survived only deep within the Inura Forest, and in pockets near Kionao. Most city dwellers had never seen a Cocoabo in person and many of those couldn't recognize one if they would have. They had evolved from natural inhabitants of the Islands to a food source - to a nuisance and then finally to what was then their current state of existence - invisible. Even some of the fans of the Turori National Team were unfamiliar with their own land's Native Animal. As Jualiar Vumaou walked off the pitch at half time of the Cocoabo's first ever game for the National Team, one fan was on camera screaming toward the head coach: "Vumaou! What the hell are those things? And where are the Eels!"

Famously, Vumaou stopped, looked the fan straight in the eyes and said "Well, they are Cocoabo's, and by golly, they sure can play. Just wait, you'll see.

Ultimately it was a learning cycle for the Flock. After winning that first match 3-1 over the Elves Security Forces, the Cocoabo would have to travel outside the comfort of their home training ground in Turori for the first time and would suffer defeat at the hands of Northern Caesarea. It would largely be the story of the cycle for the flock which played most of the campaign on behalf of the Football Association of Turori, with the exception of Matchday 7 in Sarzonia where the Cocoabo were banned from entering the country due to an ongoing epidemic of Quirrith Plague coupled with the Cocoabo having been categorized as Livestock by the Sarzonian government. Though they played quite well in training, the Cocoabo struggled while wearing the mandated uniforms in match play and failed to make the World Cup 30 finals. After going back to the drawing board and designing new, form fitting Cocoabo Kits, Vumaou's flock famously qualified for World Cup 31 and would put the Cocoabo on display for the first time to the entire multiverse. Kicking off the World Cup against The Unified Capitalizt States (Commerce Heights) at the Lirai Asku Castle in Yeaddin, things were looking difficult for the Cocoabo from the start. The Capitalizt SLANI got first half goals from Demitris and Włodzimirz Tokay to take a 2-0 lead after just 20 minutes and 4-0 at the half with the announcers famously commentating "Turori's Cocoabo's look on pace to be more fried chicken then chocolate truffle on this day." - Perhaps in an unlikely prediction of future Turorian fad Cocoa-bo.

Yet something happened in the second half. Almost as if the SLANI had been paid off to throw the game, the Cocoabo came roaring back with four goals of their own to earn a draw. It is to this day the greatest come-from-behind result in Turori National Team history - though it was surpassed as highest scoring World Cup Finals game by the World Cup 82 Semi-Final. While it was never fully confirmed that a financial transaction did take place, many history books have cited this game as one that saw the Capitalizt SLANI take payment to influence the on-field result.

While Vumaou's Flock never achieved the results they had hoped to - having regressed after qualifying for World Cup 31 and failing to qualify for World Cup 32 - Vumaou would be sacked but the best Cocoabo players were kept in the squad for the next few cycles. After winning a Cup of Harmony, the mixed squad peaked with a pair of World Cup Round of 16 Eliminations. However, it would be no exaggeration to say that first injection of Cocoabo into the Turori National Team succeeded in a far more important area. The raised level of awareness for the Cocoabo and how few remained in mainland Turori was the impetus for the Creation of the Cocoabo Preservation Society. The Society worked to re-educate the Turorian public on the Cocoabo and changed their image to that of a friendly ans positive example of Turorian life. Eventually, it led to such support that the Cocoabo population would flourish not only in select areas on mainland Turori but in the nearby Cocoabo Forest.

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[Ko-oren]

OOC: on Nov 26th, Ko-oren will be 12 years old. That's a bigger milestone than 10 years to us duodecimal fans.

Dragonfly Day 1000
Celebrate Ko-oren's 1728th (decimal) birthday with us!

Ko-oren's humble beginnings include a lot of city states, and four of those (Gehrenna, Maethoru, Mayara, and Senoren) banded together to form the first confederacy and overpower their rivals in trade along the bay. It was such a success - as their rivals did not join forces for too long - that Gehrennan is still a dominant government language and those four cities are still our capitals. With a mostly meritocratic tradition going back to those days (of course, with the necessary asterisks for early history), we claim that that government and our current government are on the same 'thread'. The unification of the first four city states is exactly 1728 years ago.

Ko-oren used a duodecimal system in history - that's a fancy way of saying we didn't used to count to 10, but to 12 - and that has consequences for calculating milestones. Instead of calling 100 or 1000 nice, round numbers (10*10 and 10*10*10 respectively, of course), we have 144 and 1728 (12*12 and 12*12*12 respectively). That's why 1728 is such a big deal.

Twelve days of celebrations and festivals are coming up! But we're not forgetting all the awesome nations, teams, clubs, and people from all corners of the world(s) that have helped us become what we are today. Everyone is welcome to visit and take part! From presidents to tourists, there must be a thing for your liking. And on top of that, we have invited some national teams in a bunch of sports that Ko-orenites like to play, going by which teams we have faced a lot in the past and present. It may sound a little exclusive, but we're open to plan any friendly match on our soil, even if we're not in it, provided it fits into the schedule.

And what a schedule it is! Chock-full of those that have haunted our past - and sometimes still do. Rugby Union's tournament, for instance, has Elejamie, who we've met in three consecutive RUWC finals, as well as Neu Engollon, who faced us in two RUWC finals, and Port Ember, a good part of our modern diet in the sport. For football, we have two tournaments: a Baptism of Fire 42 re-match group versus Astograth and Kandorith, as well as a huge 7-day (better bring a big roster, as we're making this happen in 12 days) league versus old rivals Darmen, new rivals Audioslavia, our World Cup Final opponents Nephara and the Holy Empire, our Baptism of Fire hosts Legalese... so you see, after 1728 years of being a country - ok, we weren't a modern nation for all of those years, but still - there are plenty of rivals to invite. And the shame of it all is that we haven't been able to invite everyone. One, you can't fill up twelve days with three games in a sport per day, and two, some of our rivals have at some point stopped showing up to tournaments. Where's Havl in ice hockey?

Baseball has our LPB rivals. Cricket has our Anaian rivals and the opponents of a Test series every season - and that damned original Test final. Flag football is, hopefully, a low-impact and low-risk-of-injury way to reconnect with Quebec, Banija, Drawkland, and Ranoria, all opponents from past and present because, well, we've had some epic matchups in the World Bowl over time. Rugby League consists mostly of recent opponents, coinciding with the current generation of our national team that have decided to win some games.

Day 1
Cricket, ODI Ko-oren v Darmen, Krytenia v Plough Islands
Flag Football Ko-oren v Banija, Quebec v Drawkland (Ranoria BYE)
Football, Ghosts from our Past Legalese v Ko-oren, Nova Anglicana v Darmen, Audioslavia v The Holy Empire, Nephara v Starblaydia
Tour de Ko-oren Day 1

Day 2
Baseball Ko-oren v South Newlandia, Chromatika v Super-Llamaland
Football, BoF 42 Re-match Astograth v Kandorith
Tour de Ko-oren Day 2

Day 3
Flag Football Ko-oren v Quebec, Ranoria v Drawkland (Banija BYE)
Ice Hockey Ko-oren v Gyatso-Kai, Vilita & Turori v Savojarna*
Football, Ghosts from our Past Ko-oren v Starblaydia, The Holy Empire v Nephara, Darmen v Audioslavia, Legalese v Nova Anglicana
Tour de Ko-oren Day 3

Day 4
Cricket, ODI Ko-oren v Krytenia, Darmen v Plough Islands
Rugby Union Ko-oren v Elejamie, Neu Engollon v Port Ember
Tour de Ko-oren Day 4

Day 5
Baseball Ko-oren v Super-Llamaland, Chromatika v South Newlandia
Flag Football Drawkland v Banija, Ranoria v Quebec (Ko-oren BYE)
Rugby League Ko-oren v Copper Cuprum, Abanhfleft v Elejamie
Football, Ghosts from our Past Nova Anglicana v Ko-oren, Audioslavia v Legalese, Nephara v Darmen, Starblaydia v The Holy Empire
Tour de Ko-oren Day 5

Day 6
Football, BoF 42 Re-match Ko-oren v Kandorith
Ice Hockey Ko-oren v Vilita & Turori, Gyatso-Kai v Savojarna*
Tour de Ko-oren Day 6

Day 7
Cricket, ODI Ko-oren v Plough Islands, Krytenia v Darmen
Flag Football Ko-oren v Drawkland, Ranoria v Banija (Quebec BYE)
Football, Ghosts from our Past Ko-oren v The Holy Empire, Darmen v Starblaydia, Legalese v Nephara, Nova Anglicana v Audioslavia
Tour de Ko-oren Day 7

Day 8
Baseball Ko-oren v Chromatika, South Newlandia v Super-Llamaland
Rugby Union Ko-oren v Port Ember, Neu Engollon v Elejamie
Rugby League Ko-oren v Abanhfleft, Copper Cuprum v Elejamie
Tour de Ko-oren Day 8

Day 9
Flag Football Ko-oren v Ranoria, Quebec v Banija (Drawkland BYE)
Ice Hockey Ko-oren v Savojarna*, Vilita & Turori v Gyatso-Kai
Football, Ghosts from our Past Audioslavia v Ko-oren, Nephara v Nova Anglicana, Starblaydia v Legalese, The Holy Empire v Darmen
Tour de Ko-oren Day 9

Day 10
Football, BoF 42 Re-match Ko-oren v Astograth
Tour de Ko-oren Day 10

Day 11
Rugby League Ko-oren v Elejamie, Copper Cuprum v Abanhfleft
Football, Ghosts from our Past Ko-oren v Darmen, Legalese v The Holy Empire, Nova Anglicana v Starblaydia, Audioslavia v Nephara
Tour de Ko-oren Day 11

Day 12
Rugby Union Ko-oren v Neu Engollon, Port Ember v Elejamie
Football, Ghosts from our Past Nephara v Ko-oren, Starblaydia v Audioslavia, The Holy Empire v Nova Anglicana, Darmen v Legalese
Tour de Ko-oren Day 12
Marathon on the same route of the Ko-oren City Marathon from decadecenturies ago!

*Invitation pending

What if you don't like sports? There's still more than enough to see and do:
- Grainshire Agricultural Show at Ansonville
- Festivals of Ko-orenite Gastronomy in Ferrovente and Katashi
- Festival of Light and Lanterns at Ribzesra and Monradhau around Sathonga Lake
- Popular music festivals in Schemerdrecht, Aminey, Mayara, Willowbourne, Greencaster
- Traditional Arts & Folk Music festivals in Launott, Tokponen, Strongfair, Llandy, Amillon, Abyss, Dentillon, Genehof, Egevea, Teraoka, Enkumo, Aonishi, and Suvira
- Performing Arts festivals in Sterrenwolde, Furune, Étouille, Senoren
- Opening of permanent Expo building in Koroa City
- Off-grid music and arts festivals in Windholm, Elinum, Shimohavi, Iwamamoto, Llesnewcei, Mewinurra, and Aralla
- Hot air balloon festival in Maynard
- Opening solarpunk and garden expos in Lamau, Blanrasco, Opalshire, Minamigi, Lejana, Burnet, Penstead, Eaglebury, Brighthaven, Gakhithrau, Tuzmanjuth, Biney, and Helburg
- Maritime heritage festivals in Laringen, Oai, Santa Teresa, and Greencaster
- Kino-oren Film Festival in Cirelbourne and Bruncester
- Public lectures at universities
- Free museums

Spread around all of the country, not leaving any nook behind, we have music, arts, culture, and more. Ansonville, in the southwest, has moved its annual Agricultural Show to run during the 12-day celebration - and then runs on for a few days more. Foodies are welcome in Ferrovente and Katashi, the areas that basically won us the Cobre Cook-off. Fans of another fan-favourite of the FLAGS will like the festivals in northern Windholm, northeastern Elinum, eastern Shimohavi or Iwamamoto, southwestern Llesnewcei, western Mewinurra or Aralla: it's some 'less appreciated' tunes. For more mainstream stuff, you can go to the big cities - any will do. For folk arts, we're off to mid-sized towns representing their region (and language). Some well-deserved peace and quiet is very much possible: doze off in any free lecture at our dozens of respected universities, or go to the small outdoors - the garden expos - or the great outdoors - any of our top notch national parks. Can't make it to Ko-oren? No worries, as Koroa City - the pan-Anaian (or pananaian in a less legible form of the word) expo centre will share in the fun as well. Can't make it there either? Our embassies and consulates and of course the pockets of Ko-orenites living abroad - yes, they might even live in your country - will also bring the party to you. Pick something green, blue, yellow to wear - or red, orange, or god forbid, cyan or purple: just make it bright and colourful!

If you're wondering where these places are
and what they're like
or if you want to visit something else