World Cup 94 [roleplays]

by **Cassadaigua** » Tue Jul 25, 2023 2:42 pm

We're back!
by Caitlyn Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

If you were like me, when the final whistle sounded to end the playoff match against Cap Nord, you took a big breath of relief and grinned before going into a larger celebration. At the beginning of every campaign, all participating nations know that they are in for a lengthy grind of qualifiers, and some nations will end up on cruise control prior to clinching that spot. There was a time when we were one of them, but obviously that was no longer the case. Cassadaigua really needed to get back to the World Cup, as the fans across the country are used to making the field, and simply do not get up for the Cup of Harmony in the same way. Not that many fanbases would, but when you have been around the block a few times as a part of the final thirty two, the Cup of Harmony is absolutely a consolation tournament. Of course, it doesn't pretend that it is more than that, but for some nations, there is more excitement to get started there.

There was optimism about this team when those qualifiers did begin, and a large part of that was the man from Yuezhou standing on the sideline, none other than Chen Huikang. However, that was not the only reason our fans had high aspirations. This team had been playing well before qualifiers, winning the Copa Rushmori and placing second in the Eagles Cup. Players are in the prime of their career, or at a young age to where they still have plenty of upside as opposed to a couple of the recent teams we had trying to qualify where more then just a couple players were at the tail end of their career. We like those players, but they still need to be showing that they could get the job done, and the developing criticism of former manager Brittany Byers over her last few years in that role is that she held on to that class of players too long. It's not that she didn't put younger players on the roster, but they seldomly were giving a starting role. Early in Brittany's managerial career, that was never a problem, but it would soon become the rationale of the media throughout the country as the primary reason why the team began to go downhill. Whether or not that is fair is the focal point of an article, but under Chen, youth won out. This included not being afraid to give 19-year old midfielder Lauren Engle the starting job right away. She's always been seen as one of our brightest talents, but there was no more "waiting it out" with her. Her twin sister, Chrissy, was also on the roster, and got several minutes off the bench. Krystal Sherwin maintained her position due to consistent play in the tournaments leading up to this one, and that continued. But mostly, Lexi McGregor was given the keys to the car. It would be her time to show to the entire world, and not only Rushmore, that she is an elite forward, not just amongst our own team, but one of the best in the world, as well.

Lexi had help up front with Shannon Cunningham, and it is exciting to think about how young they are and how many more Cups they can produce at such a high level. Chloe Anderson gave them the experienced player alongside them, and they would get results. But, most of all, when the team's chemistry and unity needed to be tested amongst adversity, they rose to the occasion. The Ascvalion draw is a blemish to our record, but the way they banded together after that was very apparent. Every team wants to say that they are all in it together, and they probably are. But sometimes, there will be a moment where that is tested, and when that happened with this team, they answered the call.

Still, despite all that, the team needed to play a winner take all playoff game against an up and coming nation that was looking to qualify for their first World Cup. Cassadaigua was the heavy favorite amongst those who made picks, and had the legacy of past accomplishments, making Cap Nord in a position where they knew the pressure was all on us. We had hoped that the fact that this team had the two runs to championship games in their last two competitions would mean that they would be relaxed under pressure against this type of opponent. And that's exactly how this would play out.

We talked before the game about how our team seemed relaxed and not letting the pressure of the situation get to them, while at the same time being focused on the task at hand. This would continue right from the opening whistle as the Fillies pressed for the first goal of the match while making sure to take care of the little things. It will often be said that when you are in the position that Cassadaigua was for this game against a capable opponent with nothing to lose, that it is very beneficial to get the first goal of the match. Fortunately, trying to accomplish this would not be much of a variation from the tactics that Chen Huikang likes to employ anyway. Six minutes into the game, Lauren Engle's picture perfect cross into the penalty area to Lexi McGregor saw the Starksville United forward get that highly desired first goal of the game, setting the Fillies fans that made the trip to the fellow Rushmori nation into the expected loud cheer, and they waited for Lexi to do her patented backflip. But, she would not. There are times when Lexi does not do it, and the fact that she just celebrated with her teammates for a moment for getting back in position showed that the pink and black knew that a workmanlike approach would be needed for this game. Cassadaigua seemed to be on the brink of a second goal soon after the first one, but Johannes Marzinn made a few quality stops, including a thing of beauty on Chloe Anderson in the 19th.

Cap Nord didn't generate much in the opening twenty minutes or so, thanks in part to the work of our midfield and defense, but the Whalers had a few moments as we got around the half hour mark. Stacey Schalberg showed that she had kept her head in the game when she did not have as much as work, and responded when called upon, keeping Cap Nord off the board. In the 41st minute, a true dagger to the Whalers hopes was delivered by Krystal Sherwin, with another one of her specialities of trailing the original rush and being in the right place at the right time if the defense can't get a smooth clear. When Erik Brymsaeter failed to execute a clear efficiently, and the ball deflecting off of Chloe Anderson, the bounce right went to Krystal Sherwin, who knew what to do. Seconds later, it was 2-0 Fillies, a huge goal for this team to now go into intermission with a multiple goal advantage.

The Fillies made a couple of defensive minded substitutions at halftime to try and secure the lead and potentially catch the Whalers on the counter attack when they aggressively pushed to get back in this game. Michelle Lawson was entered in for Chloe Anderson, a move that meant that the team would transfer to a 5-3-2 structure while having another physical presence on the pitch. Marquis Miles would replace Lauren Engle, giving the team another defensive midfielder. This was effective, as the Whalers had difficulty getting a significant scoring chance. In the 64th, Cassadaigua would indeed catch them with a counter attack, and it would be Lexi McGregor picking up her second of the match. This time, we would see the backflip!

Still, no one wanted to celebrate until the final whistle, but as the minutes got closer, we could start to smile. Finally, it would sound. For some teams, that official moment where you qualify is cause for a massive celebration right away.

For the our fans, first there would be a sigh of relief. We did it. We can exhale. We're back in the World Cup.
For the players on the pitch, they would first look to shake the hands of their opponent. Cap Nord, congratulations! No, you didn't get everything you wanted on this day, but the team made another big step to getting there. If they hadn't already proven that they were a World Cup caliber nation, that had now been done. They're the type of nation that it's more fun to root for in the Cup of Harmony. May they go there and make an emphatic statement, and just maybe, World Cup 95 will be that first qualification.

Once the handshakes were over, the Fillies knew they could celebrate! For a little while, they will be able too!

Cassadaigua will be in Group F for the World Cup, playing in Kelssek against the likes of Zwangzug, Farfadillis, and Elmyia. It is not a group that most outsiders will predict us to advance from, but I do believe that we have shown that we can hold our own against the top nations in the world, as evidenced by our split of the games against Nephara and pair of draws against Milchama. Our opening match will be against Elmyia, and for our opponent it is their first ever World Cup qualification. Congratulations to them for doing so, now hopefully, we can give them a tough, "Welcome to the World Cup" lesson out in Kelssek!

World Cup 81/82/83/84

World Cup 94 Finals Factsheet
contact Sasha Henderson, FAC Director of Media Relations for further info

The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team clinched the group crown during qualifying for the ninth time in their 13 attempts to join the best 32 nations in the multiverse for the chance to win the sport's biggest prize, booking passage to Græntfjall & Kelssek where they will attempt to snap a streak of four consecutive three and out exits in tournaments they've participated in the qualifying round.

Their fifteenth overall appearance in the Finals, which includes two stints as co-host in World Cups 84 & 90, extends their record of never having failed to qualify since their debut, the only active NSWC nation that can make that claim.

As has been the case for several cycles, many predicted that the streak would end with the passage of another generation of players from Baker Park's Development Charter era. yet those who have followed in the footsteps of previous cohorts that have been the product of the nation's commitment to youth soccer continue to rise to the challenge of maintaining the Commonwealth's unique achievement.

--Prior to the final doubleheader of matches that concluded Baker Park's fixture list, the National Team played in its 250th World Cup Qualifying match against Natanians & Nosts at the Queen Victoria Stadium in Ezriquay; the Gold & Black compiled identical home and away records over the course of the 20 match Group 4 schedule, winning seven and drawing two with just a single defeat.

--Baker Park have played 56 matches in their previous 14 appearances in the Finals, compiling a record of 22 wins, 23 defeats and 11 draws; overall in WCC official competitions, they have won 207, lost 59 and drawn 51 in 317 fixtures (BOF, WCQ and WC Finals).

--Ten players reached the 50 cap milestone during the cycle that included the Eagles Cup and the pre-qualifying friendlies: keepers Rose McCormack and Rod Callaway; midfielders Luke Olivera, Paul Vetter, Park Jae-Sung, April Syzmanski and Amber McFairlaine (and Alonzo Boyle will hit the mark in his first appearance in the WCF); and forwards Ben Moorman, Serena McDavid and Elana Diaz.

--NT Manager Will Barnard led Baker Park to qualification in his first attempt, making him the fifth boss to accomplish that feat (Trevor Richmond, Pamela Scott, Ichi Tuzzio, Jennifer Prescott) and will receive as part of his reward a return to Græntfjall where he managed Gunzlach prior to his return to Birkenfeld; he maintains many close friendships in Háttmark and although the host nation and the Commonwealth have had disagreements about the situation in Jabal Akhdar there is hope that some of neutrals might be inclined throw their support behind the Bees during the group stage.

--Luke Olivera will also be returning to the nation where he plays professionally at Korsbach

--Speaking of groups, Baker Park were drawn into Group D which will be based in the White Winter Queendom; it will be an AO vs Anaia tag team with Vilita also slotting in along with Saint Eleanor and the first matchday opponent Huayramarca. Baker Park have faced the Condors on one other occasion, a friendly prior to the WC 89 Finals that was a 5-1 win for the Bees, Manager Jennifer Prescott's record 77th win as NT boss, pushing her past Ichi Tuzzio (it also turned out to be the halfway point in Prescott's total as she won 77 more times following). The Condors made their World Cup Finals debut the following cycle in the VilITALia-Baker Park 90 co-hosted tourney.

--It will be the second time that Baker Park and Vilita will meet on the second matchday of a World Cup Final in Græntfjall as the sides squared off in Hartburg during WC 91, a 3-2 Jungle ~~Cats~~ Rebels win which followed a pair of meetings back to back in World Cups 83 & 84, BP winning on MD1 at the BCEL Stadium in Jinja City in the first instance and Vilita eliminating the home side in the round of 16 at Rogers Stadium in the latter competition. As mentioned above, the nations joined together to put on the 90th edition of the World Cup and have forged a strong region alliance anchoring central Atlantian Oceania.

--Baker Park and Saint Eleanor have never faced one another and the finale of group play may be an important fixture for one or both nations depending upon the permutations of how the first two matches turn out. The Anaians are in their second Finals in four cycles and will certainly take seriously the chance to inflict defeat on a major AO nation, perhaps knowing the brief history of their Tinhamptonian fore-bearers from WCQ82.

--BP rose three places in the latest KPB rankings as a result of their WCQ performance and will look to progress into the knockout stage for a further boost as they climb back towards the top 10; six nations ranked above Baker Park at the beginning of the cycle failed to make it through (10/12/13/14/21/22) and this Final will replace WC 91 in the rolling calculation that determines the ranking.

--Four nations will make their Finals debut in this edition, with Brookstation leading the way after capturing the automatic spot in Group 10 and Elmyia, Sylestone and the Prosaic Union (Gneis) coming through in the playoffs while Delte joins Saint Eleanor in their second ever trip.

--The average age of the 26 player Finals roster is 27.3 and they have earned on average 60.1 caps and collectively scored 279 times. By comparison, the WC 84 squad averaged 28.0 years and 40.2 caps, while the WC 88 squad had an average age of 27.7 and 59.1 caps per player.

--Julia Edmonds scored her 6th international goal to move up to third all time behind Tracey Vasillias (8) and Pryna Rasanamira (7) among defenders and Magda Kucera got a pair of scores during the cycle to bring her total to 4, which ties her with five others.

Finals playing squad
info current through end of WCQ94

Rose McCormack	        31	Sherwood Forest Ladies FC	52 (7)		13 (+1 shared)
Rod Callaway		29	Shirley Metros FC		46 (5)		15
Beth Rossi		24	Llewellyn Turnpike Ladies FC	28 (2)		4

Amy Freeman		29	Riverside City Ladies FC	66 (8)		3
Julia Edmonds		30	VLC FC (EFL)			72 (9)		6
Charlotte Bauer	        31	Concord Heights City FC (CDG)   86 (6)	        1
Emily Bruce		27	Perce Town FC (QUE)	  	40 (6)		
Jerrol Allen		29	Real Atlantea (TAE)		35 (5)		
Magda Kucera  	        24	Inland Peaks FC (VIL)		42 (1)		4
Jon Schulman		27	Fairport City FC		27 (3)

Lucie Shanahan	        28	Middletown City Women	        50 (16)	        9
Isabelle Wiley		28	Bikarish (PFA)			49 (16)	        14
Freddie Altman	        26	Clayton City FC		        68 (18)	        11
Olivia Ryan		25	Westwood Sprites Ladies FC	45 (14)	        12
Carly Logan		25	Southend Ladies AC		51 (7)		12
Park Jae-Sung		25	Monmouth Park FC		42 (9)		8
Alonzo Boyle		26	Southend AC			39 (10)	        8	
Paul Vetter		26	Linden Woods FC		        44 (13)	        5
Luke Olivera		27	Korsbach (GRF)		        41 (11)	        7

Hayley Gibson		30	Grande Mountain FC (CDG)	68 (24)	        25
Chandra Mack		30	Zolorini City FC (MRC)	        73 (15)	        36
Quinton Harris		29	Starksville Coastal FC (CDG)	53 (19)	        33
Ben Moorman		27	Carsby FC (EUR)		        35 (16)	        16
Serena McDavid	        26	Lajuno FC (EUR)		        51 (7)		26
Elena Diaz		25	Leiderkranz Ladies FC		29 (21)	        15
Karrie Price		27	Trimidau Rukiya (PFA)	        48 (16)	        28

by **Chromatika** » Tue Jul 25, 2023 8:01 pm

Playoff: Chromatika 5-3 Archalit
Goals: Xuen-Zhukov 8', 29', Haitou 62', Howard-Dawes 71', Hauser 88'
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Ansov - de Aea - Anbient; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Kuznetsov; Xuen-Zhukov - Delaya.
Substitutes: Haitou -> Fillar, E. (57'), Howard-Dawes -> Delaya (57'), Régine -> de Aea (68'), Hauser -> Kuznetsov (80'), Si -> Larriet-Cortes (80')

Group Stage Matchday 1: Chromatika v Squornshelan Remnant States @ Florus Stadion, Altendalur, Græntfjall; Forecast: Overcast, drizzle, still
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Ansov - de Aea - Anbient; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Kuznetsov; Xuen-Zhukov - Delaya.
Reserves: GK Kathie Begley, GK Hailee Sourtois, DCR Ami Coulibaly, DC Klavida Régine, DCL Ipati Aimée, DCL Cylie Nodis, WBR Emilie Kruetzberg, WBL Ibayashi Haitou, BWM Mare Si, AP Haley Hauser, AM Alissar Phoen, BWM Kateryna Zuniga, P Sandara Park, AF Elaine Howard-Dawes, AF Marie Faucheux.

Anomalies Survive; Repin Era Continues in Græntfjall

Millennium Park, Redswyth, Kelssek

The final whistle blew, and an exhausted, spent Anomalies squad gathered to celebrate after an intense playoff match against Archalit. The Pirates had given them all that they could handle, only fading in the last half an hour after holding a 3-2 lead at halftime; the substitution of Ibayashi Haitou, Elaine Howard-Dawes, and Haley Hauser all proved to be genius as all three players ended up scoring the goals that would tip Chromatika over the edge.

From the beginning, it was clear that this game would be all about transition, flow, and momentum. Archalit, known for being more of a defensive squad, decided to match the Chromatiks speed for speed. For the first half hour, it looked like they were well suited for it too, as August Armburst found Lyndon Nightmare for a first-half hat trick - all three times making an example of one of the three central defenders that tried to stop him. Chromatika would recover by deciding to bring Larriet-Cortes down to help, and when that decision was made, the flow of play turned in the Anomalies' favor.

Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov did his part by getting the two first-half goals; then, for the final fifteen minutes of the first half and the first seventeen minutes of the second, there was no scoring. On the fifty-seventh, Haitou and Howard-Dawes entered, and they both started to make an immediate difference. Having Xuen-Zhukov alongside Howard-Dawes meant that Lavrentiy would have yet another player present to feed him assists; or, as it turned out, that Lavrentiy's presence would free up both Haitou and Howard-Dawes to score from range, as most of the Archalit defense was focused on stopping the prolific young scorer.

Haley Hauser's late goal was the insurance the team needed, and that was that - Chromatika had survived not only Archalit but also a qualifying cycle where they had struggled in the putting away of lower ranked teams. Lev Repin's job was safe, and the squad could look toward the proper.

Chromatika will head to Græntfjall to be the top seed of Group B despite dropping one spot in the rankings. Græntfjall's cold weather is likely going to be an advantage for the Chromatiks, who are used to playing in cold, drizzly weather. In fact, the opening match against the Squornshelan Remnant States is supposed to be played in an overcast drizzle - the perfect weather by Chromatik standards for football. The SRS are a nation that Chromatika is rather familiar with, as Mare Si plays there for Yassaca and there are many Squornshelans in the Red League - Mithya Hashemi in Anomalies and Andze Nedeljkovic in Frenei Tor are actually starters on the Squornshelan team. The two nations have only played each other once - a scoreless draw in the Group Stage of World Cup 88. As it's a match between the two top seeds in the group, it's going to set the tone for who will have the early lead and who will have to hold their breath against the two lower seeds in the next two matchdays.

As for those lower seeds, it's weird to see Pasarga so low in the rankings. Chromatika is 1-0-0 all time against the Wanderers, beating them 5-2 in the first matchday of the group stage in World Cup 76, the tournament in which the Anomalies placed fourth. A lot of time has gone by for both squads since then, but now the Pasargans are the team looking up at the Anomalies. Facing them on the final day could put all the pressure on the Anomalies, but they should have the upper hand.

Bringing up the rear is Gnejs - whom the Anomalies have faced twice before, both of them draws. In World Cup 92, Chromatika played them to a 0-0 draw away and a 1-1 draw at home. The Prosaic Union are a team that knows how to frustrate their opposition, and as someone who almost chased down the Squornshelans, they are on a roll. Chromatika will face them in the second matchday - and the Anomalies will be hoping that they can handle the groupmates of the SRS without much issue - they are the lowest seed, after all.

There are, on paper, far harder groups in this World Cup Proper stage. The CFF has been very vocal about the team's goals this cycle - that of making the Quarterfinals for the second World Cup in a row. Honestly, though, if one can make the Quarterfinals, one has the potential of winning it all. A cycle after placing second, with the nation reeling from both the abyssal invasion of Myana Island and the political upheaval caused by The Truth, the Anomalies will be looked to step up once again.

Is it fair? Probably not. Will it happen anyway? Yes.

Time and time again, the Anomalies have proven that they can, indeed, be the nation's hope. The opportunity has come once again - it's time to rise once more.

The views expressed here are IC only and do not express my own opinion.

World Cup 94 Group Predictions

By: Lyle Silverdale, Chromia Central Courier

Well, Anomalies fans, we made it! It took some tense moments, but we've made it to the big dance, and that's all that matters, right? The slate is wiped clean, and now, it's all about the three matches to follow. You may think that having the likes of the Squornshelan Remnant States, Pasarga, and Gnejs in the group is bad enough, but have you seen some of the other groups out there? It actually could've been far worse. I've been asked by some of you to make my predictions about which teams will progress from which of the groups - so here are my picks. Before we get there, though, let's talk about three groups that could've been for the Anomalies - the hardest group, the easiest group, and the group that would've been the most storied.

Hardest Group on Paper:
Chromatika (5)
Tumbra (9)
Tikariot (20)
Mytanija (31)

Wouldn't this have been something? Tumbra has some household Red League names in Stephen Kerr and Trudy Harrison, along with Christine Whitfield, Lynne Crossley, and Julie Hardaker - all stars in the Red League. We've already seen how strong Tikariot is - we split the qualifying cycle with them at 8 goals apiece. Mytanija is also a name that Chromatiks know - Lavrentiy spent two seasons there, Do Seung-Min plays there, and there are some prominent Mytanars like Matija Gvardjancic and Foma Koshkin, alongside Bigger Mbala-Ekakia. It would've been a difficult group, but one with plenty of storylines regarding the players that the team would face - which would've, in a sense, been worth it.

Easiest Group on Paper:
Chromatika (5)
Ko-oren (19)
Yuezhou (30)
Sylestone (77)

This may be the easiest group on paper, but the concept of facing both Sylestone and Ko-oren's defenses sound really really tiring. Yuezhou are a side that has produced the likes of Wan Sheping and Zhanxi Nanlei, and they've made progress in recent cycles, too. Honestly, I'm glad that we don't have this group either.

Best Storyline Group:
Chromatika
Tumbra
Cassadaigua
Elmyia

Could you imagine this group happening? The two nations that we have been co-hosts with, alongside a youth football power that Chromatika has tangled with a few times recently. Throw in that Wirr Tsi has signed fifteen year old wonderkid Enrico Girello (they think he is one anyway), and the storylines would've flowed. It would truly have been a shame for two teams to have not qualified from this kind of a group.

Now, let's go through the eight groups and talk about which ones that I think will qualify to the Round of Sixteen.

Group A
Graintfjall (2)
Ko-oren (19)
Eura (29)
Sylestone (77)

Græntfjall is, in a word, absolutely stacked. They are the heavy favorites here, while the Eurans and the Ko-orenites will be looking over their shoulders at the Sentients. Now, Sylestone is the underdog here, but any point that they get will be a huge detriment to Ko-oren and Eura as they play for the second place. Slight edge goes to Eura in terms of momentum - they've returned to the World Cup for the first time in a while - but to count the Dragonflies out of the Round of Sixteen is folly. Expect the top two seeds to go through here - Græntfjall and Ko-oren.

Group B
Chromatika (5)
Squornshelan Remnant States (12)
Pasarga (23)
Gnejs (41)

The Anomalies' group. Despite having struggled in qualifiers, Chromatika remain the favorites. There is some familiarity between the SRS and Gnejs, but the SRS should be able to handle them for a third time - meaning that it would be between the Wanderers and the SRS. With the SRS having shown that they know how to handle pressure - they won their group even with Gnejs chasing them down - the edge goes to them over a Pasargan side that dropped the ball late to let Tumbra win the group. Chromatika and Squornshelan Remnant States here, though the order may be flipped.

Group C
Banija (1)
Independent Athletes from Quebec (17)
Tikariot (20)
Delte (39)

The Group of Death. Defending Champions and top-ranked Banija will have to contend with red-hot squads. Three of these teams won their groups - two of them against top-ten teams of the world. Quebec throttled Valanora, while the Owls of Tikariot won the group over Chromatika by ten points. It wouldn't be uncalled for to see Banija not even make it out, though they are the favorite here. Delte are definitely the kind of team that could take down Quebec or Tikariot on a given day, making it rather hard to call the second placed finisher. Give me Banija and Tikariot after a qualifying cycle to remember.

Group D
Huayramarca (7)
Vilita (18)
Commonwealth of Baker Park (21)
Saint Eleanor (38)

A deceptively competitive group. Huayramarca are a new power that just cracked the top ten for the first time, while Vilita and Baker Park are storied sides looking for a way back in. Throw in a Saint Eleanor team that's been sniffing the proper for a while, and it's a party. I'm rather high on the Huayramarcans, making it difficult to decide between the rest of them. Give me Huayramarca and Saint Eleanor in a surprise run to cut the Atlantian Oceanians down to size.

Group E
Kelssek (6)
Pemecutan (13)
Audioslavia (27)
Mytanija (31)

This is the definition of a wide-open group. Kelssek and Pemecutan are two of the best Independent sides around, while the Bulls and Mytanija cannot be counted out. It may be the Lev Repin fanboy in me, but I think Mytanija wins this group, with Audioslavia coming in second. It may be dumb to bet against a host, but Kelssek has never really struck me as a side that could win the World Cup.

Group F
Zwangzug (3)
Farfadillis (15)
Cassadaigua (28)
Elmyia (51)

Death, taxes, Zwangzug doing well in the World Cup. Right? Well, not when Farfadillis and Cassadaigua are in your group. Elmyia will be happy to have just made it here at all. I think that for the first time in recent memory, it's Zwangzug that misses out of the playoffs, as Farfadillis wins the group and Cassadaigua takes second place.

Group G
Turori (4)
Nephara (11)
Flavovespia (26)
HUElavia (45)

Is it finally time for Flavovespia to take the next step? They've established themselves as a mainstay in the World Cup, but they haven't had the success of making deep runs in the playoffs like they seem to do every single CAFA. Turori have been on a run in recent history, while the Cormorants are a historically dominant side. I think that Nephara wins this, and that Flavovespia takes that next step to become a world power. If they can win the CAFA, they can show up in the World Cup.

Group H
Valanora (8)
Tumbra (9)
Yuezhou (30)
Brookstation (40)

A very close group, with the winner between Tumbra and Valanora expected to win the group. Yuezhou and Brookstation will keep the group spicy, but can either of them trip up the likes of Valanora and Tumbra? I think that Yuezhou can. Tumbra wins the group, with Yuezhou getting second place, led by Wan Sheping, Li Jungou, and Fu Xioxei.

Which leaves this as my projected matchups for the Round of Sixteen:

Græntfjall vs. Saint Eleanor
Chromatika vs. Tikariot
Banija vs. Squornshelan Remnant States
Huayramarca vs. Ko-oren
Mytanija vs. Yuezhou
Farfadillis vs. Flavovespia
Nephara vs. Cassdaigua
Tumbra vs. Audioslavia

This is just my thoughts. Wouldn't this be a fantastic Round of Sixteen, though?

Enjoy the World Cup, and don't forget to cheer on our Anomalies!

by **Yue Zhou** » Tue Jul 25, 2023 8:44 pm

Note: "Sporting Buddha" is a rough translation of the Yue podcast, whose name in Yue is 体佛 ("Ti-Fo"). Definitely not a reference to anything.

Zhen Wuxi, naked: "Welcome back to this special edition of the Sporting Buddha podcast! I'm Zhen Wuxi..."

Tong Jiewen, also naked, incredibly bricked up: "...and I'm Tong Jiewen."

ZW: Before the break, we were discussing Liang Wei's hat-trick heroics in the qualifying playoffs, which sent Yuezhou to their third-ever World Cup."

TJ: "Unfortunately, Elaine Ashdown and the Dragons have gotten a tough draw in Kelssek. Valanora and Tumbra are two top-ten teams whether or not you believe in the KPB Rankings, and Brookstation's qualifying performance proves that they're one of the best up-and-coming teams in the world."

ZW: "Yuezhou have one thing on their side, though: momentum. They showed in the qualifying stages that they play a high-variance style of play that is more than capable of taking points off of the best teams in the world. Will it work against the Marauders and the Black Eagles?"

TJ: "I mean, probably not."

ZW: "Maybe it won't. But that's what you said about Pemecutan and The Holy Empire - and look how the Dragons did against them! In any event, Yuezhou's MD1 clash against the five-time champions will be critical. If they want to advance out of the groups, they'll most likely need a result against one of the heavy hitters, and a win over Brookstation is basically mandatory."

TJ: "I just don't see how it happens against Valanora. I mean, you've got the Terminator that is Laborious Hawk in midfield, sandwiched between one of the better defenses in Vanorian history and a loaded strike force with the likes of Lundström and Palminger to latch onto his passes. And I've really turned around on Ashdown, but you've still got to admit that she's no Dan Eastwood."

ZW: "Again, we're hardly favorites. But Yuezhou have got talent of their own. The wingers, Luo and Jiang, and Kara Mingsdottír, who is having an absolute blinder of a campaign, are all really dangerous creative types. I'll be looking to Luo especially, as he shoots a lot from distance-"

TJ: "Way too much, if you ask me. Or his teammates, probably."

ZW: "But Günther Obermaier's been shaky in past World Cups, even if he's righted the ship, and maybe testing him will yield good results."

TJ: "Cool, Luo will get a goal. How do we stop them from putting four past us?"

ZW: "We've got a solid defense. That spine of Zhao, Yuan, and Wan has been rock-solid for a few cycles now. And Zhaxi Jianzan - one of Ashdown's discoveries, actually, and now playing in the Zenith - is looking every bit as hard-nosed as her midfield partner. This team-"

TJ: "-don't say it-"

ZW: "-has got that dawg in them. If they beat the Elves, it'll be because of their grit, their determination, and just enough individual spark from the front four to get them over the line."

TJ: "After Valanora will come Brookstation. Ranked fortieth in the world to the Dragons' thirtieth, they're the easiest opponent on paper."

ZW: "They're great - they beat Nyowani Kitara on the final day to secure qualification and a dramatic group victory! But I don't even think their own fans consider themselves a harder out than Valanora or Tumbra."

TJ: "Tactically, their high-octane offense, which Liangde He has really gotten going this cycle, will pose the biggest challenge. Yuan Mingrong and Hu Jiewen are great, but they're not exactly the paciest - Yuan's 34, after all - and that could be something that the speed of Moussa Wague and the aggression of Tavian Tudorache can really exploit."

ZW: "They've also got a defense that can really lock things down - they beat Nyowani Kitara 1-0, after all. I think they'll be tough, for sure. But it's the World Cup! Everyone's tough, which is what makes it so great. I'm looking forward to this all-Pavola clash - and honestly, although they're good, I think Yuezhou has just been around the block more times. If we can't beat them comfortably, we shouldn't be thinking about Rounds of Sixteen anyways."

TJ: "Last up, Tumbra. Formerly managed by Yuan Zilai, now managed by a guy named Peter 'Gregg' Gabriel-"

ZW: "Gregg? Oh yeah, we're losing to them."

TJ: "For sure. Next up, we look into the twenty-six names that Elaine Ashdown has chosen to make the final World Cup roster. And we investigate Luo Nanwei, and whether he'll be asking out of FC Inter Nantwich. But first, another word from our sponsors..."

Liang Ziyou's main takeaway from his first week in office? It felt good to be in charge.

In the end, when you had one hundred and thirty-four seats and nobody else even had one hundred, it wasn't too hard to get people on your side eventually. President - ha, ex-President now - Zhen Qiang had been full of bravado about getting Forward Path (who had thrown him out of office) and the Progressive Democrats (lol) into a grand coalition to keep him out of power. That had failed quickly, so he'd then demanded a revote. In the end, Zhuang Weilun had talked eighteen National Union Assemblymen, former Wu loyalists who had never quite gelled with Zhen's centrist turn, into forming a new faction to "ensure national stability".

Liang Ziyou had no intentions of preserving any kind of national stability. He wanted to win. The rest of the world had been holding Yuezhou down for decades now - first the communists, and then Terranea, who Zhen Qiang had been more than happy to bow down to, and now, for some reason, Alex Terán. Lithico™ had been a rare recent victory for the Yue people - a foothold in Atlantian Oceania propelled by the entrepreneurial genius of Ma Ailun, and proof of Yue ingenuity and spirit even when abroad. Haiguaidian, too, could be a victory if it was grown quickly enough, especially with those new mineral deposits. But if Farolera struck down the fledgling Lit™ nation, these gains would be reversed - and Yuezhou humiliated yet again on the international stage.

"We've sent the ultimatum, saying that we'll intervene in their conflict if Farolera don't stop fighting Lithico™ and surrender enough territory to ensure their continued independence," new Foreign Minister Zhuang Weilun was saying, snapping Liang from his reverie. "But Terán's hardly going to back down because a piece of paper told him to. Luckily, Terán has plenty of enemies within Farfadillis. Like, basically everyone. If we negotiate with the other nations-"

"Fuck that, Zhuang," he replied lazily. "We threatened boots on the ground, right?"

"Uh, yeah, but I'm not sure how politically-"

"We threatened boots on the ground. If we don't deliver, Terán's going to walk all over Ma Ailun and Tusk-uh, his friend. And don’t you remember our campaign promise to defend them from Faroleran attack? How will it look if our first act in power is to break that pledge? No. We’re landing. General Lang, how do we get there?"

General Lang Duoliang had led the War Office under Wu Zhongsheng, but had wanted nothing to do with Zhen Qiang, making him a natural fit for the new government. He'd been known for his pragmatism and his logistical expertise, forged first in the Yue Civil War and then in the nearby Nyowani Kitara campaign. Now, he was thoughtfully looking at a giant map of Farfadillis.

"Fröndt, President Liang. We land there, it's a short march to the front, and we can defend Lithico™ pretty well from there. Terán won't be able to get very far once we shore up that front. If you want boots on the ground, that's your easiest bet."

"Hm. How's Ma holding up there?"

"I'm told Tuskoles Yagaras is holding the line ably, President Liang. Progress is slow because of the terrain - desert and jungle, mostly - but once we land, we may see more forward progress."

"Pretty slow, though." Liang looked over at the map, rotating it away from the General. "Hm. What if we land here-ah," he said, picking up a marker and drawing two thick black lines down the center of the map. "We land on the southern coast and march north. Then we can surround them, and Terán surrenders instantly, right?"

"Er, not quite, President Liang," Zhuang Weilun replied. "That sea is basically unpassable."

"Well, we'll airdrop soldiers in and establish a beachhead. It just seems much easier than trying to grind them down for the north - faster, too. Right, General Lang?"

"Ah, it's quite a difficult region to invade, President Liang," the General replied, sliding the map back to its original position. "Especially without naval support. It's theoretically possible-"

"-Great!"

"-but it'd need the vast majority of the army to be successful. You'd probably need to start drafting to sustain this kind of prolonged campaign, and that's if you don't just get shot down as soon as you land. The northern landing - which would be on friendly, or at least neutral, coastline - is just far easier."

"Hm. Alright, General. We'll do it your way, for now, while we're still exploring our options. But I want someone - Brigadier General Lin, perhaps - to start planning this other landing too. It might not be the easiest, but a quick win would be great for us right now, and let us focus on...our other tasks. And Zhuang?"

"Yes, President Liang?"

"When Alex Terán gets back to you? Tell him that he's gonna regret not negotiating when he had the chance."

by **Pemecutan** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 1:04 am

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Part 9 || Part 10A || Part 10B

Buda Pon Wuku Sungsang, Pawukon 1785

The Draft is Here

Pemecutan Puri - Yesterday was a big day for Pemecutan. After more than 6 weeks, the Committee of Politics, Law and Human Rights of Krama Sabha working endlessly finally the new constitution draft have finished. The Head of the Committee, Luh Ayu Chandra Werdhi said yesterday that it is such a relieve that the draft is finally finished. She also thanking to all the parties that were involved in the brainstorming and the making of the draft. Aside from the committee itself, they were invited academics, politician from both Kanginan and Petang Islands, representatives of Nagari Sabha and Rajya Sabha and representatives of the citizens. She added that they are trying to make the constitution that can appeal to everyone and hopefully can satisfied all the parties. In the end, she hopes that the constitution will end the heated situation happened lately. But she reminded that the journey is still long for the constitution to be implemented. But how long will it takes?

Luh Ayu Chandra Werdhi

Currently, the draft is in review of Krama Sabha. A copy of the draft is also given to both parliaments of Kanginan (Uma Rakryan) and Petang Islands (Pesamuan Warga). The three sides have to agreed with the draft by a super majority votes if unanimous votes is not achieve. If any article raises questions, it will be given back to the Committee to be redraft. But if all three parliaments agree, then the draft will be re-review by Nagari Sabha as the upper house of the parliament. And again, if there's any article raises questions then it will be given back to the Committee. And if it is pass by Nagari Sabha, the last road would be a signature from Ratu Hawir Bhuja and an official royal stamp. The draft will have to be upload to the official government website to be confirmed it's legitimacy. But the constitution won't be able to implement as soon as it is applied. The government needs to be change first by an election. And after all government positions are confirmed that is when the constitution can be implemented and the new country is officially establish.

Actually, many things have been circulated amongst the citizens about the constitution draft. The form of government is the most important one. Then of course, the new country's symbols such as flag, coat of arms or emblem and the others. The country name also become one of the question. The others questionable things are currency and defense. During the announcement, Chandra didn't mentioned about these issue in detail. She only said that a hearing will be conduct. She highlighted about the symbols and name of the new establishment will be lay in the parliament's authority. For the symbols (flag and coat of arms), she mentioning a possibility of a referendum or an open submission for the ideas. But until now, we haven't hear anything about these. On the other hand, the Krama Sabha seems to pushed the agenda so it can be settled at the end of the year. Political expert, Johan Mariano said that it would be a tight schedule for the parliament if they want it to be settled at the end of the year. It's the 10th week now and the parliament is in recess for Galungan holiday. Two weeks will be gone because of it. Then they have 16-17 weeks again for the whole process. "I doubt it can be achieve. Kanginani and Petanggi parliament are the key in this process as they are the one that needs to be satisfy with the new draft," he added.

Met this morning, the Speaker of Uma Rakryan, Satya Wiradarma said that the draft have been delivered to all members of Kanginani parliament. "They have two weeks to read the draft. And after the recess, we can start the discussion. It would cut the time," he said. Kanginan is the hardest side who wanted the equality amongst the state as they (Kanginan and Petang Islands) are unified with Pemecutan under a different agreement than the Majegau Protectorate. This is the reason why Kanginan and Petang Islands have a higher and wider autonomy status than the other states. Within Pemecutan administration, Kanginan and Petang Islands are falls under Mancanagari group of division which literally can be translated as foreign nation, Manca (foreign), Nagari (nation/country).

by **Flavovespia** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 12:20 pm

After a long qualifying journey of 20 games, Flavovespia made it to World Cup 94 as Group 15 winners. In their last 3, and only 3 appearances at a World Cup, Flavovespia are yet to make it through the group stages, and still have just 1 win in those 9 games. To better that record, here is a preview of the Group G opponents Flavovespia face in Kelssek.

HUElavia
HUElavia qualified for the World Cup in dramatic fashion, they needed to beat Dystopian Reich and see Audioslavia lose at home to Qasden. They got both result, to win Group 8. Wearing all yellow, they’re an attacking side, and will certainly not go into this World Cup with any timidness. Cristiano Aveiro Junior leads from the front, and along with Mateo Rossi-Rigoni, expect a strong goalscoring threat. Flavovespia and HUElavia have met twice before, in the Eagle’s Cup 14. Both games ended 1-1 with a goal for Adrian Jones on both occasions. Millennium Park, Redswyth on the East Coast of Kelssek will host this game on Matchday 3, with both sides hoping they’ll play it with at least a chance of qualifying.

Turori
Turori made light work of Group 5, an unbeaten record included 16 wins for The Eels. They’ll enter World Cup 94 as one of the contenders to win it all, and on their qualifying form, that’s no surprise. Manager Tarek Edgeli has already lead Turori to a first ever World Cup trophy, in World Cup 88, and another final in World Cup 91. Their squad boasts many World Cup winners, including goalkeeper Derizi Amatopa, defender and manager’s child Karek Edgeli, and veteran striker Nua’oma Aikiki, with over 100 Goals for Turori. Flavovespian fans will remember the 2 games that Flavovespia have played Turori in. A 2-1 defeat in Turori on Matchday 6 of World Cup Qualifiers 91 was the last defeat for Flavovespia in those Qualifiers. Flavovespia would win 2-1 vs Turori later on, as they made the World Cup for the first time ever. This will be the opening Matchday for Flavovespia, to be played in Griffin Park, in the Western city of Novonaya. A tough test for Flavovespia to open with, but the sort of game the World Cup is about for them.

Nephara
Nephara, The Comorants, multiple World Cup winners and one of the most well-known footballing nations, on the domestic and international scene. Manager Igrene Cantor has won the World Cup both on the pitch and in the dug out, and experience like that means she should be capable of meeting the lofty expectations of the Nephara population. Nephara’s football can be as beautiful as it is brutal, slick, speedy passing contrasted with subtle jabs and digs at the opponent. Key players will include Felixe Vetiver in attack, creative right midfielder Madita Brewer, and the experienced centre back Anaximander Scales. Expect the fans of Nephara to wheel out the ‘Godhead’, allegedly the reincarnation of Gethin Ramsey, their first ever manager. Whether one believes in the supernatural spirit or not, its certainly an iconic and imposing piece of imagery. Flavovespia and Nephara met in the last World Cup in the group stages. A 1-1 draw came via 2 late goals, with a fair amount of feisty behaviour in the final minutes. Stade Outineau, the largest stadium in Kelssek’s capital, will host this second Matchday game.

Provisional Starting Line Up:
WC MD1: Crewe, Lyons©--Cookson--Taylor--Scott-Wilson, Adams--Player--Goldstone, Cole--Jones--Bagshaw

by **Mytanija** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 2:46 pm

MYTANIJA SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 94
GOALKEEPERS: 1. Semir Besak (Mipojoseon [QUE]); 12. Robert Laure-Suprinovic (Z’ai’ai [CMT]); 23. Anton Puzin (Bastion [EUR]).

DEFENDERS: 2. Asmir Milosevic (1896 Ebor [MYT]); 3. Bosko Pestotnik (Mipojoseon [QUE]), 4. Bigger Mbala-Ekakia (Atletik [MYT]), 5. Foma Koshkin (Lhor [CMT]); 6. Matija Gvardjancic (Crossroads [CMT]). 13. Vuk Bajalica (Tikariot City [TKT]); 14. Adnan Sulejmanovic (Sabrefell Moths [NPH]), 15. Nnamdi Lusamba (CDSA [MYT]), 16. Elmedin Suljic (Atletik [MYT]); 17. Leontiy Korchagin (Chongjibo [NIX]).

MIDFIELDERS: 7. Nurija Papez (1923 Esca [MYT]), 8. Ismet Zmiric (Aries Chariots [NPH]), 10. Denis Ovsyannikov (Atletik [MYT]). 18. Danilo Sevaljevic (AFC Treason [NPH]), 19. Jasno Skenderovic (Alnio [CMT]), 20. Jana Anusic (Frenei Tor [CMT]). 24. Luka Vujanovic (West Couno United [TMB]), 25. Omer Kuhar-Arh (Brinemouth [NPH]), 26. Mirko Hranilovic (AFC Corvistone [NPH]).

FORWARDS: 9. Drazen Skara (Sabrefell Athletic [NPH]), 11. Damien Gannot (Sabrefell Athletic [NPH]). 21. Fran Prpic-Bosanac (Bastion [EUR]), 22. Milica Prokopljevic (Atletik [MYT]). 27. Jezdimir Ocokoljic (Newrook City [NPH]).

WORLD CUP 94 PREVIEW
FAMILIAR FOES AND NEW FACES IN TOUGH GROUP FOR MYTANIJA

by Nevenka Planinc

Mytanija made it to the World Cup, Misel Ravnjak ensured that the reports about his future would be muted for a few months, and everybody back home eagerly awaits the national team giving it another shot on the grandest of stages. This Mytanija team, like every single other one to have reached this stage, will endeavour to not be like the others (perhaps with the exception of World Cup 68, with the quarter final run still our furthest foray into the tournament), strive to do what the others could not and battle into contention for football’s highest honour. It is perhaps the strongest side since 68, with a squad littered with players from the top four IFCF leagues and a handful of Testiculos – the dubiously named honour bestowed on the finest footballers from all over the multiverse. The national team’s regression under Dzvezdan Kitanchev may prove an obstacle, the lowly ranking of 31 providing a difficult group draw which could be a stumbling block to the progression that the players, the FSM and everybody back home would like to make. Let’s begin the preview with a reflection on Mytanija’s run through qualifying and the eventual, nail-biting, single game play-off versus Qasden:

MYTANIJA (31)
Group 14: 14–3–3, 45 points. 30 goals scored, 12 conceded, +18 goal difference.
Won play-off vs. Qasden (2–2, 3–2 AET)

Sometimes being self-reflective is the most difficult thing. There is a feeling in Mytanija that the national team, given the players at the manager’s disposal and the level that they play at, should be performing better than they currently are. There appears to be a disconnect between the success many are achieving at club level, both for their teams and individually, and the level of the national team overall. At surface level Mytanija have a strong group of players, regularly playing at a high standard and boasting a high level of technical and tactical proficiency. Unfortunately, since Lev Repin departed, there has seemingly been an inability to knit that group of strong players into a cohesive unit which can challenge at World Cup level. In Mytanar sport that is fairly unusual, the team has always been regarded as more important than the individual and you can see that in how the teams play domestically, but it even cuts across sports, with the team-orientated style of play of near enough all basketball teams in the country demonstrating the same precept.

Misel Ravnjak was brought in with a reputation for forging successful teams from very little. Now he has excellent resources at his disposal and there is a school of thought which argues that this is perhaps why he has struggled ever so slightly with the reported ‘mutinies’ in the camp, particularly after the disappointing home defeat against Banija. But this is where that self-reflection must come in. Ravnjak, all things considered, did a reasonably solid job in his first campaign as manager. Two of Mytanija’s three defeats came against Banija, arguably the best team in the world at the moment (and an argument which the world rankings agree with!). The 4-1 home defeat is cited as evidence of a tactical change which was made erroneously and played into Banija’s hands, but it was also evidence of Ravnjak trying to be proactive, trying something which he thought might put the team in a better position to win the match and who can criticise a manager for doing that?

There is an argument that some back home have expectations which may be a little too high. Mytanija have some fantastic individuals, Semir Besak, Bigger Mbala-Ekakia and Drazen Skara form one of the finest spines in the sport right now. Denis Ovsyannikov could be classed as part of that too, regularly named as amongst the finest young players coming through. But other countries have good players too, those awards are great and the recognition for achievements made at club level, but the gap between leagues is tighter than ever at the moment – so it is often a cigarette paper’s distance between performing well, winning things and then ending up in contention for the awards and ending up not getting them. At international level it helps to have players who can perform to that standard, but there is a real need to pull the players you have together into a unit who can win the games by whatever means necessary. Mytanija has only ever really got that right once, when winning the Copa Rushmori (the two Cup of Harmony victories are nice, but also evidence of failing to get to the World Cup, so can’t really be mentioned in the same breath). The challenge is to do it again.

Mytanija ended up in a tough group for World Cup 94 qualification. Whoever was placed with Banija knew it would be difficult to qualify ahead of them and they showed that incredibly accurately by storming through Group 14, dropping points in only one game. Mytanija’s 45 points could have been competitive for qualification in a number of groups and Misel Ravnjak might have fancied top spot in some had the draw gone differently. Finishing 2nd was a decent achievement and set-up a tricky tie against a high-flying Qasden. The play-off was tense, with both sides going toe-to-toe and unable to be separated in 90 minutes. An extra time winner from Denis Ovsyannikov (who else?) allowed the Hoops to win 3-2, closer than anybody would have wanted, but Ravnjak could run onto the pitch in celebration when the referee finally got around to blowing his whistle. It was difficult, but it showed a degree of resilience which some thought this group lacked. In the future it’d be nice to not have to struggle through play-offs to qualify, if only for the nerves of everybody back home.

AUDIOSLAVIA (27)
Group 8: 12–5–3, 41 points. 28 goals scored, 7 goals conceded, +21 goal difference.
Won play-off vs. Cardenao (4–0)

Mytanija have come across Audioslavia a number of times in recent years, most recently in the 1-0 exit from the Cup of Harmony which sealed Dzvezdan Kitanchev’s fate as coach. Since Misel Ravnjak came in as manager the two nations have somewhat become kindred spirits, stylistically at least. The Anaian nation’s kontrapuntzeka has been adhered to much more dogmatically than Ravnjak’s approach over the years, but it has certainly worked for them, with two World Cup wins back-to-back in the early/mid-60s. That’s a long time ago now, but it forms another similarity, with Mytanija’s heyday being around the same time, albeit without the medals to show for it. The two countries have met seven times, with a very even 2-3-2 record against one another, Mytanija’s most memorable victory over Audioslavia was heralded by the ‘Audioskelping’ banner eulogising Lev Repin and mocking Jeremy Jaffacake.

Games between the two countries are often something of a war of attrition. Both play hard and unfair, some might say that they are a shorter, uglier, but ultimately more successful version of Mytanija. Under Lev Repin Mytanija played much more progressively, with a possession-based approach designed to break teams down and this resulted in Mytanija’s most successful couple of games against them, but this approach has been jettisoned following the failed Kitanchev experiment and Misel Ravnjak’s side now play the exact same formation and approach as the Audioslavians. The two 5-3-2 formations could result in a rather dour game for the neutral, though Ager Alaba does like his side to try to keep possession in the midfield where possible, similar to Izotz Zubia. It would be rather unexpected if Audioslavia attempted to spring a tactical surprise, given how wedded they are to kontrapuntzeka, albeit not out of the question.

If it is a 5-3-2 versus a 5-3-2 then we might see a game decided by individuals and that is often when you see pieces of magic which light up World Cups. Watch out for Helios Roy and the wonderfully named Wilhelm Hielscher–Zendagorta, a pair of strikers who can definitely summon up those types of magic if needed. We might just need to hope that the likes of Skara and Ovsi can do the same at the opposite end, Audioslavia’s 7 goals conceded was the best in qualification and chances do come at a premium against them. A 0-0 draw is not out of the question when these two sides meet.

KELSSEK (6)
Qualified as hosts

Being placed in a group with the hosts is always tough, you have one nation roared on by their supporters, high on the fervour of football’s greatest tournament visiting their shores and determined to help their team as much as they can. The other nation can be cowed in such circumstances, though we Mytanars generally give our players less excuses in this department given just how intimidating some of the trips are which are clubs have to make in the league every single week. Kelssek will be cheered on vociferously, though, and given that the match between the two nations comes second in the schedule it could prove pivotal. One team could already be playing for tournament survival at this point and the other could be looking to secure their spot in the knockout rounds. That adds a layer of pressure for both teams.

Looking through their squad there are a number of players plying their trade in Euraleague, which Mytanija is familiar with given the historic relations between the two countries. Zoé Goh-Lemaire is the most recognisable name, however, with the striker making a big money move to 1923 Esca after they cashed in on the likes of Drazen Skara and Nenad Tejic following their run to the IFCF Champions League final. Goh-Lemaire may not be a definitive starter for Kelssek, with her record in front of goal not being the most prolific at 2 goals in 12 appearances, though she – as at club level – is perhaps most well-regarded for her link-up play and ability to create chances, even if she doesn’t convert them herself.

The 32-year-old Jaglan Royals’ striker Loïc Maçon-Petrault is probably the danger man in front of goal and is at an age where this could be his last chance at glory, hunger making dangerous individuals that little bit sharper. Colm Ó Tuathail is in a similar position to our own Jezdimir Ocokoljic, where it might be his last chance at international football entirely, the 37-year-old playmaker enjoys a similar level of reverence for his career as Ocokoljic does in Mytanija and we might get a chance to see the two greats on the pitch against one another for the final time.

Stylistically Kelssek like to get the ball forward and commit bodies to create opportunities in the opposition half. It is difficult to get a read on the formation they are most likely to employ given that they have only played in friendlies in the run-up to the World Cup, though Misel Ravnjak is likely to be planning for variation on a 4-3-3 or 4-2-3-1 from the players selected. It’ll be a difficult game, Kelssek are highly ranked for a reason, and they boast home advantage, but wing-backs and switches of play can prove to be equalisers against teams who play with four at the back and narrow across the midfield. Ravnjak will be hoping he can exploit that.

PEMECUTAN (13)
Group 13: 13–4–3, 43 points. 67 goals scored, 32 goals conceded, +35 goal difference.
Qualified as group winners

Pemecutan were in just the sort of group Misel Ravnjak might have fancied this Mytanija topping. Luck of the draw did for that hope and Mytanija managed to qualify anyway, so not to worry, but what will keep the Mytanija head coach awake at night is just how he goes about stopping a side which scored 67 goals during qualification. That averages out a rather ridiculous 3.35 goals scored per game. Slowing that sort of scoring down is difficult, as we saw whilst on the end of the particularly bad Banijan beating. Pemecutan were in a very competitive group, chased by three sides who all ended up on 41 points. Our Rushmori neighbours Yuezhou finished in second place, Elmyia in third and legendary World Cup side The Holy Empire down in fourth position. The fight for the three places which allowed the fight to go on, either directly to the World Cup or via the play-off, went down to the final day and Pemecutan managed to come out on the right side of that battle.

For Mytanija it isn’t a nation which we are particularly familiar with, so it makes for a novel match-up and one which is a little harder to plan for as a result. A largely domestic-based squad makes that even more difficult, although teams from Pemecutan and the region of Mandalanusa have been impressing more regularly in IFCF competitions in recent years and that has given a little more background to base judgements upon. An aggressive 4-3-3 formation could provide Mytanija’s wing-backs with opportunities down the flanks, with the aim to be to stretch the opposition across the pitch wherever possible and create interior spaces for technical players like Denis Ovsyannikov and Damien Gannot to exploit. Pemecutan’s midfield is already quite wide, something Ravnjak is likely to have noted and their rather gung-ho approach might play into Ravnjak’s hands. His sides are usually comfortable in soaking up pressure before breaking at speed, with almost rehearsed transitions whirring into life and slicing through out of position opponents. That’s the idea, anyway, whether reality will work as beautifully at this level remains to be seen.

The final matchday of the group stage could see Mytanija fighting for pride or for a position in the knockout rounds, preferably the latter. Pemecutan will be hoping the same thing, but both sides will feel a similar degree of pressure at this level. The expectations of their compatriots back home weighing on their shoulders. Let’s hope there is still something to play for come matchday three, footballers say that the occasions they relish are the ones with the most pressure, now it’s time for them to give us the chance to experience that once again, however unlikely it might be in such a tough group.

by **Kelssek** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 3:08 pm

TOP STORIES | LIVE FEED

Updated 11 minutes ago
Outineau Metro unveils updated map design

Click to enlarge

With the extension of line 3 to Plage-Arial, the Outineau Metro has issued updated and redesigned maps to incorporate the two new stations connecting the north shore to the central peninsula. More than just adding the two new stations, the map’s colours have been tweaked for better contrast and a new typeface selected aiming to improve accessibility and readability. For instance, only terminal stations now appear in all capitals, a move that was made due to feedback from focus groups.

The redesign has met with mixed reactions as Claude Egrige-Dupuis, who is expected to be the main challenger to current mayor Émilie Thibault in the civic elections next year, said the move was “literally anti-capitalist virtue signalling” and part of an “ideological culture war”.

“Outineau is broken and they’re spending over τ2 million on social justice warrior crusades. It’s just another example of how out of touch Thibault is in her bubble of art school elites. We need leaders who listen to the people, not neoliberal consultants who spent all their time at school doodling pictures,” Egrige-Dupuis said in a lengthy series of Honkr posts.

While signage will be changed gradually, the new maps will be issued immediately and will likely be what World Cup visitors will be using to get around the city in the coming weeks. Transports pour Outineau, the city’s transport agency, will increase river shuttle services to Pointe-Saint-Charles adjacent to Stade Outineau to help relieve congestion during the period.

SPORTS
Football Kelssek confirms World Cup squad

The 26 players in Kelssek’s World Cup squad have been confirmed by Football Kelssek. The list has no major surprises, although young Burnaby midfielder Rory Joseph will probably be the most disappointed to have missed out. Making their World Cup debuts will be Tobert Usher, Jenas Maraipu, Eilwen Loew, Alejandra Younes, Terence de Landa, Lionel an Deòir, and Mason Karven. The last is an exception to the young age of the first-timers after strong performances for Club ESF in the Vanorian Premiership.

"It’s always a balance and we decide the squad as a whole. We think about the group we want to form, what kinds of skills on the pitch and off the pitch we need for the best chance of success. The goal is always progress, progress. We want to make the most of our home advantage"” said Kelssek manager François Saint-Louis.

The final squad
Goalkeepers: Cassie Mrythe (Latrobe), Ryan Terlock (Holdenberg City), Jenas Maraipu (Kirkenes)
Defenders: Naucémiró Buené (Burnaby), Ingrid Lambert (Burnaby), Phillip Lozic (Mliona-Lpaka), Tegan Earrach (FC Capri), Loisé Camserhe (Osarese Marcadia), Curtis Holman (Gallant Cross), Tobert Usher (CF Outineau), Eilwen Loew (Guard FC)
Midfielders: Julius Heer (Schemerdrecht SVV), Êsêkïl dí Völará (Mâ Âlâmëómë), Eamon Breault (Olympique Chuckio), Issac Lafrenière (Kionao Locals), Colm Ó Tuathail (Wynleth), Miles Mann (Falourr), Bryan Hartpoach (Alnio), Alejandra Younes (Dalaris City), Terence de Landa (Directus)
Forwards: Thor Ibrahim Ahmad (Directus), Loïc Maçon-Petrault (Syneca), Lionel an Deòir (Torbay), Danielle Maradrogba (Coret Hawks), Zoé Goh-Lemaire (1923 Esca), Mason Karven (Club ESF)
Head coach: François Saint-Louis Assistant coaches: Tim Bowler, Stephanie Grübling, Brent Valiser, Rachel Rosen

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 5:48 pm

The Spenson Star

First-half goals from Sofya Turmal-Hence and Lukas Helsen-Roan saw Zwangzug easily sweep aside Kingdom of Castille, for the last match of an ultimately unthreatening qualifying group. Certainly, Kate DiMarini won't be taking the results for granted, but the fact remains that Zwangzug are, from the rest of the world's perspective, among the elite. Even if nobody here wanted to jinx anything, a calm but secure hold on the top of Group 3 was probably what most foreign pundits expected.

And so, attention turns to the proper. Zwangzug have been drawn into Group F, which will be hosted in Kelssek, land of our ancient BoF frenemies. Matchday One sees Zwangzug play in the grand Stade Outineau, site of the World Cup 46 final. To this end, they have chosen to make their base camp at the Aréna St-Jacques, home of many-time ice hockey champions CH Outineau. "Some of the guys were kind of nervous, like, are we entitled to the environs of such a storied team? I mean, hockey is a really big deal here and all," said Valerie Waugh. "I had to do my job as a captain, which was square up my shoulders, walk into the foyer, look around to see if there were any other teams, and confidently yell 'dibs.'"

Stade Outineau is a far cry from the remote and inhospitable Hothi'icei Battleground, where Zwangzug played their third match in World Cup 92. But comparisons will be fresh on their minds, not because of Kelssek's weather, but because Zwangzug are--yet again--taking on Farfadillis. While Farfadillis may be known in the popular imagination as a nation full of Cabañas effect, system takil, and military mayhem, this is actually an oversimplification and it would be slightly more accurate to describe it as nine-ish nations full of Cabañas effect, system takil, and military mayhem. As of last count, a new regional identity has emerged, that of Lithico™, a thriving exporter of lithium to Yuezhou's technological industries. [Editor's note: there was a joke about Electrum here, but we deleted it because electrum is only an alloy of two chemical elements, not an element in its own right, and the memes about their World Cup history aren't actually funny.] The Farf side qualified by defeating Sharktail, who took third in our group, in a single-leg playoff. Memories of World Cup 92 will no doubt be fresh in our minds, and those of World Cup 84 perhaps a little less fresh in theirs. Dénes Robineau who, despite his name, is not actually from Kelssek himself, is a dangerous goalscoring threat.

[Edit: we are also happy to report that after retiring, Esther Axelrod-Conway was not only inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame and named to the unofficial "World Cup of Dreams" team, but she also managed to safely escape the next round of crises, probably in a private helicopter or something, and is remembered fondly in Mâ Âlâmëómë as a dynamic legend, rather than resented for being able to nope out of the next round of crises so easily. We don't know which of these is the more impressive achievement.]

Matchday two sees Zwangzug take the venerable Velocit East north to Kirkenes, the capital, to take on Cassadaigua at the Waterfront Dome. Zwangzug faced off with the Dagans in the World Cup 93 qualifiers, winning both matches by a goal apiece. Like Farfadillis, the team is now led by a Yue manager: in this case, Chen Huikang. Stacie Thornton, their starting goalkeeper in the beginning of the qualifiers, was injured in the first half of the campaign, and it is not clear whether she will be available in time for the proper.

Assuming the Yasteria Line is running smoothly, matchday three will see Zwangzug journey to Novonaya. They face Elmyia, who are as relentlessly attacking as Farfadillis. While many of their backups appear to hail from Italia Mosfleet, their starting lineup is impressively diverse, with players established in such far-flung locales as Sylestone, Quebec, and Ko-oren. Pau Porras, of Juvencus, has inherited a project begun by Benni Massi, and led the team to a wild finish in group thirteen, that saw them edge out none other than the Holy Empire on head-to-head results, while they finished behind Yuezhou (them again!) on goal difference. It was enough to see them into the playoffs, where they defeated Drawkland on penalties to qualify for the first time.

In part due to the lone-striker formation and the desire to rotate lots of people in and out so nobody gets too dominant, Waugh has often shared the armband with de facto assistant captain Helsen-Roan. Despite or because of this, so far her tenure as "oh no a forward captain" has been thankfully drama-free. Ketevan Igreli, for her part, seems to be very much appreciating the freedom to do her own thing; last we heard of her she was jumping on the Orange Line to explore Little Ariddia, like a nerd, and we hope she's back in time for Matchday One.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Baker Park ready to stand tall once again
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth National Team were facing a crossroads moment ahead of the beginning of qualifying for World Cup 94, with the nation's most successful manager replaced by a someone who'd had no on the job experience in international competition as many of his predecessors and rivals for the position had been given.

Will Barnard had learned at the elbow of the nation's soccer leadership but took what he knew and went off to do his post-grad work, if you will, out of the spotlight of people in Baker Park—the same can be said for his number two, Zoe Montgomery as well—so with the return of prodigal son, Baker Park has definitely chosen a different path to try to arrive at the same destination or more precisely the preliminary stop after the express journey, with the rest of the trip a series of mail-run stops along the way.

His experience in Græntfjall in charge of one its top clubs was transformative both for himself as a coach, and the league itself; Gunzlach's success using the BPNT style three at the back setup saw others look to copy the system as happens in every sport everywhere.

He brought back from Rushmore solutions to problems that maybe he wouldn't have encountered managing in the National League, or even another overseas club; Montgomery's tenure at Bakermouth in the Euran Overseas Territory wasn't as celebrated as Barnard's but she too utilized her knowledge to make the proverbial silk purse out of a sow's ear. Her pre-qualifying stint in charge of the Eagles Cup squad often resembled an adult version of “Red Light, Green Light”, but as seen during the later competition, the experimentation paid dividends as BP could generate high intensity while playing slower in buildup.

The staff worked at developing midfield dominance through the use of the personnel available that consisted of the 'core' of the NT player pool--among the men positionally from left to right are Park Jae-sung, Luke Olivera, Paul Vetter and Freddie Altman working in combination with their female counterparts Carly Logan, Isabelle Wiley or Olivia Ryan, Lucie Shanahan and April Syzmanski or Amber McFairlaine.
Any combination of pace, physicality, pressing, tacking, passing and ball control could be fashioned from this group of 10, with additional support from the 'reserve level' group that got spot starts and places on the subs list.

Midfield has been largely the “Star Power” area of BPNT squads in the past but is becoming more utilitarian; the “third player high”, also commonly known as the Slot, who plays between the midfield and forwards has been returned to a starting position for forwards after a parade of Baker Park's all-time greats—Jamari Bozeman, Annabeth Westmoreland, Antonio Sotolongo, Christa Vuckovic, Nicole D'Amico—made it a virtual fifth midfield spot. (it's always been designed to be either/or depending on tactical needs—this is just a little joke)

The extra forward starting slot is certainly needed as two players that often slot into that role have been on hot streaks during the overall cycle since Barnard was hired: Serena McDavid scored five times in 12 appearances to push her over the 25 goal plateau, while Ben Moorman had a qualifying to remember with 4 goals in 8 matches. Elena Diaz also earned a Finals roster spot after getting four markers in six appearances to provide enough cover for Chandra Mack, Quinton Harris, Hayley Gibson and Karrie Price. Xanneria was the only team in Group 4 that held the Gold & Black scoreless over 90 minutes.

The backline has a solid foundation with three of the best in the game—Julia Edmonds, Amy Freeman, and Charlotte Bauer—making every WCQ international break a challenge to the entire squad to show the mental toughness that has been stressed to Baker Park players across all levels of international competition for as long they could remember.
The words are printed along the the wall of the main dressing room at the FAC Development Center in Birkenfeld in full view of every individual stall, just below the ceiling.*

World Cup 94 will mark the first time that the gender balance among the defense and goalkeepers will be overwhelmingly female; nine of the twelve squad members among the defense and goalkeepers are women, which tracks with the remainder of the 26 member Finals group as the total breakdown shows 16 females and just 10 males making the trip to Græntfjall.

Lineup vs Huayramarca

Callaway; Allen, Kucera, Bauer (C); C Logan, Ryan, Vetter, Altman; McDavid; Mack, Moorman

by **Tikariot** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 9:50 pm

Part 1 of Darkness Descends
Part 2 of Darkness Descends
Part 3 of Darkness Descends
Part 4 of Darkness Descends
Part 5 of Darkness Descends
Part 6 of Darkness Descends
Part 7 of Darkness Descends
Part 8 of Darkness Descends
Part 9 of Darkness Descends
Part 10 of Darkness Descends
Part 11 of Darkness Descends

The big, resounding booms continue, like a giant drum. The constant echo makes it impossible to determine where it is coming from.

"I have no idea where this is coming from!" The Shadow yells over the reverberating pounding. It is almost as if the drum is right inside their skull, disorienting, dizzying. And then as sudden as it had started, it stops, the silence almost deafening.

"What the hell was that?" Alistair exclaims louder than needed.

"Beats me," Sanford responds, just as loud.

"Funny guys, really funny," Myfanwy scoffs. "Now what?"

As if as an answer, a glow begins to appear out of nowhere, as if rising from the ground. There is no visible source, but they can see their surroundings for the first time. In front of them is a sheer dark cliff with an uneven hole in it, obviously the end of the chute they had come out of. As they turn around, they see a seemingly endless expanse of white, stretching in every direction, the faint glow making it impossible to discern any details.

The Shadow looks back at the rock cliff before turning again. "I'd say straight ahead."

"If you say so, boss, got no better suggestion," Sanford says with a shrug.

They set out, the snow crunching under their boots. As they walk, they look around and can't see anything but white, which is not helping with orientation. Suddenly Myfanwy lets out a scream as she slips and hits the ground hard in a sitting position. The Shadow helps her up and rubbing her rear she says, "Careful, this is not just snow anymore."

"Are you ok?"

She nods, "Yeah, ground broke my fall. Seriously, I'm fine. Got some padding."

Alistair snickers, causing Myfanwy to punch his shoulder, shutting him up.

"OK, enough. Smaller steps, I don't want anyone to get hurt."

Having to watch their steps now, their progress slows down considerably. If they had thought the previous circles looked desolate, they were nothing in comparison to what they were seeing around them. Where in previous circles there had been rock, fire, staircases, swamps, rivers and buildings, there was nothing here but a cold, white desert or ice and snow. They had thought the scorching heat had been unbearable at times, but the increasingly cold air is already starting to sap their strength. The unchanging landscape also makes them lose any sense of time, unsure if they have been walking for 20 minutes or 2 hours.

Then, they see some shapes appear on the horizon, which turn into rocky outcroppings breaking through the ice and snow. As they continue on, pillars of dark rock rise to either side, the places where they touch the ice glowing like embers but not melting the ice. Ahead of them lies a vast expanse of ice and, jutting out from the ice, heads, many heads, all bowed.

“Caina, the sinners that betrayed their own kin or friends.” The Shadow says with a low voice.

The figures don’t lift their heads as they pass between them, completely unaware of them. They also are completely silent, making the quartet’s footfalls the only sound. There were thousands of them, likely more, as the eerie glow would not penetrate all the way toward the steep rock cliffs flanking the wide valley.

They advance in silence, the valley gradually narrowing. Any embers are fading away, and instead, the walls are covered in thick ice as if cascading water froze in place mid-motion. The temperature keeps falling, but that’s not all that makes them shiver. Ahead are figures trapped in the ice to various degrees, most of them completely encased with only their faces showing. Those that are not, seem to be sinking into the ice as if standing on quicksand. They can see their mouths moving but the chattering of their teeth makes their laments unintelligible.

“This is Antenora, where the sinners lie that betrayed their homeland or political affiliations.”

Their wails echo off the ice-encased walls, amplifying the eerie sound and they try to hurry along, but the ice underneath their feet makes the terrain extremely slippery and dangerous. After sliding more than walking, they notice that the valley is turning into a round cavern, the temperatures continuing to fall. The breath in front of their faces almost crystallizes the moment they exhale. They stop in their tracks as they see a grotesque sight ahead of them.

The cavern steeply climbs around what looks like a gigantic carving in the ice, with figures trying to scale the icy cliff ahead, but upon closer inspection, they are not carvings but actual figures, their skin discoloured to almost the same shade of the ice they are frozen to. All around stand figures holding weapons of various kinds, frozen mid-motion, their faces distorted in agony, their tears freezing on their faces.

“Ptolomaea, harbouring the souls of those that betrayed their guests or those who trusted them…”

“Most of them hold weapons…” Alistair says, looking around.

“Guess it’s the ultimate betrayal, isn’t it?”

Their feet are starting to feel numb from standing their unmoving, so The Shadow urges them on. By the time they scale the cliff, they can barely feel their fingers anymore. They are thankful when the ground level out. Rubbing their hands in an attempt to get the blood to circulate again, they shuffle on until the cavern widens into a huge lake of ice. Sinners are entirely frozen, contorted and twisted in unimaginable shapes.

“We have reached the innermost part of Cocytus. Judecca, the place of the ultimate traitors, those that betrayed their benefactors, those who showed them kindness and generosity.”

The cold makes it painful to breathe, every breath feeling like a shard of ice.

“They’re all facing in the same direction.” Myfanwy points out.

They raise their heads to follow the frozen figures’ stares and at the far end of the icy expanse rises a kind of stone bridge toward a round cavern, a silhouette illuminated by a bright glow from behind.

The Shadow mutters almost breathlessly. “Lucifer…”

Line-up for Match Day 1 against Delte

by **Huayramarca** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 9:58 pm

Royal Convention Centre, Krytenian Quarter, Koroa City – 29/05/1989 – 11:38 p.m.

“It has been exhausting so far, isn’t it?” said René Dañín while stretching in a chair. It has been, in fact, something more than exhausting, something more akin of a burnout event that has taken a big toll in a single day. “But has been worthy of it?” Replied Erminia Carranza, as she was pretending to get a predetermined answer, or perhaps testing what Dañín thinks of her role at the Huayramarcan retinue; without thinking it, being honest, Dañín answered “Oaghhe…You have done a great role in all fairness, you’ve been coherent.”

Gabriel Silva, who was preparing some papers with information, then said “Well, we will have to work a bit to let our position be clear and strong. We need to tell them there that we don’t want to get engaged into a conflict, instead, we have the goodwill to intervene and find a solution to it.” Dañín, as anybody being in the middle of a burnout would do, interrupted Silva abruptly, as he stood and put the papers below the cushioned seat of a divan “Chill down! Let’s relax a bit.” Carranza turned the TV on and searched for Canal Anaia, one of the main sporting channels in Huayramarca just to check the scores of that day in the World Cup Qualifiers.

“Gabriel Sayritupac takes the ball, controls it and goes near the area, passes to Uscamayta who is being marked… Oh, look at that unmarking, he turns around…. ¡Goooooooooolaaaaaaaazooooooooo! The room celebrates the goal, then they notice that it is already the 90^th minute of the match, Huayramarca finishes off with a 4-0 victory against Naixi. “Well, watching this kind of stuff is therapeutic, you know.” Said Dañín, then added “After the absolute torture that this day was, there’s need to chill for a bit… After all, our argumentative line is done for tomorrow.” Carranza nodded as she noticed that the phone in the room was ringing, it was the receptionist “Bleh, reception wants something.” She picked the phone and answered “Hi, good night?” the receptionist answered “Hi. May I ask you, please, to remain silent, some clients have complained of a goal celebration coming from your room.” “We shall do” said Carranza, then she hung up the call and told them to go to sleep.

Despite the call and the intentions to sleep, the need to read argumentation points, formulation of strategies, and anything that could be said was paramount for them. Dañín, Carranza and Silva shared the same passion for having everything extremely calculated and planned, without any chance for a deviation… “Have we covered all the holes?” said Dañín, then Silva said, jokingly, "We have everything sorted, even if some random guy appears out of the blue. We will be always ready to solve stuff.” Carranza replied “Don’t begin with mythological suppositions, please, what could happen like that?” The room broke in silence, they were sure that all was now done, then they prepared everything in notebooks and carpets, brushed their teeth and then went to sleep… They had a long day to come, that was for sure, but they didn’t expect the craziness that was about to unleash in front of their noses.

As they took some breakfast and coffee from a fonda (cheap Huayramarcan eateries) at the Huayramarcan quartier of Koroa City, they noticed something weird in the distance, Silva was quick to notice that there was a lot of smoke coming from the south, Ochre Islands-bound. As curiosity grew on them, Silva asked for a sitrep from the commanders near the south of the Ocean of Ayes, to what Captain Olivera replied “Commander Silva, we have noticed something like volcanic activity coming from the Ochre Islands, it seems that every single volcano in their island chain is in erupt…” T—the wa….” “are t-too hi…” Silva asked “The waves what?” Then Olivera managed to answer “Waves too high… Help!” Then, he informed Dañín and Carranza about the situation for the sake of clarity “There’s a gigantic eruption in the Ochres, so we don’t know how this situation will now change.”

As they reflected, the chances for any potential escalation of the conflict were now dying, as the Ochres would rather focus on taking protection from it, doing rebuilding efforts, or anything else to their reach in order to establish normality in the archipelago. “Ok, this now simplifies things a lot more, that means that we will have a rather soft conversation.” Said Dañín, then Carranza replied “It is the time to play our card of integration and treaties in the Ocean of Ayes. I didn’t expect that the destiny would put things towards us so easily, in fact, our argumentation might be solid enough for it.” Silva then replied “Shall we go to the Krytenian quartier? We need to get this moving, but first we must clarify the Ochres’ situation.”

As they finished drinking coffee, they noted that the Krytenian Prime Minister, Penelope Baker, and Sarah Finch were muttering a lot with an attaché, same for the Ochres’ representative, Mihaly from Cardenao and the Ko-orenite representatives… Noticing the situation, Silva wrote a note in a paper, then passed it to the Ko-orenite delegate asking about what was happening there. The Ko-orenites nodded and replied, then Silva read mentally “Eruption in the Ochres, we don’t know what’s going on there… We must be alert of what is happening there.” Silva showed his thumbs up in gesture of appreciation for the reply in the note.

“Ok, so it seems that the eruption there is a re…” Silva was shut down as Penelope Baker was talking about the Ochre Islands claim on the “Ko-orenite occupied San Marcos Islands.” Dañín raised his hand, as he was determined to talk what he had in mind in regards of that topic, the speaker in the room noticed, then asked him to talk. With some nerves, René Dañín took a glass of water, drank everything and stood up to talk. “Erm… Erm… Good morning ladies and gentleman. In regards of what Prime Minister Baker said we, as Huayramarcan representatives, want to gift the Ochre delegation a cartographic map of Anaia, so they understand that the San Marcos Islands doesn’t exist, what it does exist is the San Carlos Islands which are under the control of Huayramarca. It is noteworthy to say that we haven’t colonised the islands, in fact, this territory has had several binding referenda that have approved their state of union with Huayramarca.”

Erminia Carranza then continued talking “We understand that there are some fears on the expansion of navies such as the Ko-orenite or what Cardenao is doing at the moment in the Ocean of Ayes, which is totally understanda…” Carranza dropped her glass of water, then her jaw as pretty much everybody did in the room… A white cloud appeared in the middle of the room, Gabriel Silva was paranoid and decided to take his service gun just in case of attack; then some thunders were heard as more clouds appeared, nobody could see a thing. As the seconds passed, the clouds dissipated and a new person was noticeable in the Ochre side, but now, there was a red and white flag and somebody wearing a crown. Dañín was shocked, he asked aloud “Who is this stranger?” The character with the crown turned to him, then said “I am Emperor Boston.” Carranza, who was knowledgeable of history said, mumbling, “He’s supposed to be dead, long dead… That’s the Emperor Boston from Bostopia…”

Silva, hidden under a table, grabbed Carranza and said “I told you yesterday that one must not never say never… Here we are, a mythological creature has popped in front of us, under proper sunlight.” Carranza then decided to continue “It is totally understandable to see how there are concerns of heightened military presence in the Ocean of Ayes, which is something we must address seriously… That’s why we suggest two courses of action: Number one is to create a joint military flotilla in the Ocean of Ayes to combat drug smuggling and illegal fishers, especially to protect creatures such as the kraken. There’s an increase on drug smuggling detentions in our ocean, we have gone from 500 kilos of narcotics to 5 tonnes, which is worrying to say the least.”

Dañín and Silva sat back in their positions, the fear had already vanished and they were confident to resume their analysis after Carranza finished hers. “Second point, and perhaps the core topic of this whole situation, is that we must acknowledge that the Isla Aloshaki, which is currently inhabited according to demographic studies, shall be granted to Cardenao, under the condition of not allowing further expansionism in the region.” Then Silva continued “The Isla Aloshaki doesn’t hold any significant strategic value from the military point of view, instead, may help Cardenao in their economic development plans as they could build a new port that could have easier access to the ocean, and the whole Anaian market and supply chain.”

Another final intervention from René Dañín, but this time without nerves and fear, as he had already got used to the almost mystical look of Emperor Boston, continued “Welcome… Emperor?” the new character replied “Emperor Boston, please.” Then Dañín replied “Well, Emperor Boston. We, in Huayramarca, have a philosophy of cooperation between the peoples, peace and common grounds for agreement than war or conflict, we want to get the best result possible from this round of negotiation in order to ensure that Anaia will continue to live, as it had been living since its beginnings, a period of peace and certainty, in a room for growth and cooperation. We hope that our interests and will are as similar as our philosophy, so we can work and ensure that we will be achieving great results as a team, as a region.” The Emperor Boston nodded, then Dañín sat back and let the other nations participate in the conversation…

Later, back at the hotel, Dañín said “Woah… I’m totally surprised at the appearance of the emperor… I thought that was a terrorist attack or an attempt of kidnapping somebody.” Silva then replied “I do remember Erminia saying that nothing mythological should happen in the meeting, she was dead wrong, we didn’t expect this to happen but, fortunately, didn’t ruined our argumentative line… I do hope that the rest of nations understand our posture in this, we don’t want to have a war.” Dañín nodded “How come Mr. War Videogame Lover doesn’t want a war anymore?” Silva replied “I’m freaked out with what happened, I don’t know if we could be subjected to some kind of black magic… Who knows if that eruption at the Ochres has a relation with what we witnessed today?” Carranza was about to answer, but Dañín said “Please, don’t come to neglect something else, we don’t want to live a crazy situation as this one again.” Carranza, still processing the situation, just drank water and nodded.

There are times that imagination defeats reality, this was one of those days, situations where somebody finds what they considered to be impossible or unexpectable… At least, Carranza was thinking “Well, it all stood nicely, let’s see if it was a ridiculous attempt to propose peace or, somehow, a doable way to solve the situation for once.” Despite the burnout in the representatives, which was comprehensible after what Huayramarca has been experiencing during the last couple of weeks, with lack of understanding of what to do after the so valued Civic Charter turned out to be a document that was falsified in an important clause, turning what we knew of Huayramarcan politics into a lie all of a sudden. Still, they had a good feeling in their heads and heart, they were helping to get things done, although the real confirmation is yet to be known, as the other Anaian representatives have to discuss the proposal made by the Huayramarcans, may that work? Only time will tell us.

by **Sylestone** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 11:21 pm

Note: Stats have not been updated for WCQ94

NAME				AGE		SEX		CAPS		GOALS		CLUB
GK: Ryan Macleay		24		M		1		0		Pesfield Trees 
GK: Georgina Fuller		28		F		21		0		Vantanoch FC 
GK: Brick Wall			??		??		216		1		Kirkham Appliances 

LB: Eden Holt			29		F		33		4		Pesfield Trees 
LB: Isabella Cross		27		F		0		0		Avondale City 
CB: Hugo Mornington (c)		29		M		31		1		Hesham 
CB: Alana Faucett		23		F		19		0		Zenit Attawapiskat 
CB: Hand Sanitiser		??		??		22		0		Northandryun Rovers 
CB: Alexander Nutt		25		M		3		0		Tihon 
RB: Lesley Keller		26		F		19		1		Straton 
RB: Toilet			??		??		225		8		Northbury FC 

LM: Jack Ryland			22		M		3		0		Colbrook City 
LM: Cayden Holmes		31		M		23		2		Avanaroch White Wings 
CM: Raphael Brown		34		M		34		0		Belgrave 
CM: Gemma Rodway		27		F		33		6		Newark Argyle 
CM: Jack Lawson			23		M		11		1		Avondale City 
CM: Callum Blair		30		M		16		1		Khalgarh Valley FC 
CM: Bar Stool			??		??		245		32		Kirkham Sentients 
RM: Abigail Jones		29		F		30		5		Pria City 
RM: James Barclay		22		M		0		0		Montreal City 

CAM: Rose Fleetwood		31		F		36		8		Newark Argyle 
CAM: Brett Sarcav-Jones		18		M		0		0		St John's Arsenal 
CAM: Cameron Keyes		31		M		27		6		Lakewood United 

CF: Riley Strathfield		26		M		19		8		Chardonnay Rangers 
CF: Hayden Blamey		26		M		5		2		Hesham

Nyowani Kitara vs Sylestone @ Sanktjakobvöllur, Háttmark

Nyowani Kitara (4-4-2): Bigombe; Mushonga (Baiera 88’) - Mutsekwa ( 90’) - Malmquist - Ayange; Petersson ( 51’) (Svante 62’) - Vera (Chinwemwe 80’) - Hansdotter - Jiahui (Pichard 62’); Angonga (Odede 80’ ( 90+4’)) - Negasu

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 5-4-1): Macleay; Cross - Mornington ( 72’) - Nutt - Keller (Toilet 90+3’); Ryland ( 37’) (Holmes 75’) - Brown ( 89’) - Rodway - Jones (Barclay 75’); Fleetwood (Sarcav-Jones 46’ ( 85’) (Lawson 90+3’)); Strathfield

Ecstasy. Euphoria. Elation.

Anguish. Angst. Affliction.

Two teams, two wildly contrasting emotions.

And this time, it would be Sylestone who had drawn the longer straw.

After the misery of an 8-4 aggregate loss at the hands of a hyper-aggressive Huayramarca two years ago, many were expecting the same from a Nyowani Kitara with a famously similar style of play to the team now ranked seventh in the multiverse. But no, Mojmir Anac and his team’s hard work ever since that devastating loss in Chamberley has paid its dividends and with the entire country on their backs, they have achieved the impossible.

It’s been eighteen years since the very first Sentient team - one which had the Brick Wall playing centre back alongside Fridge FC’s Washing Machine - travelled to Appalachian Nation in northwest Esportiva for the 72nd Baptism of Fire, the largest in the history of the tournament. Featuring 56 nations who had never participated in World Cup Qualifiers and a select few who had via some now-defunct permutations, the Sentients could only make it to the round of 32 where they suffered a loss against Villablanca that knocked them out of the tournament. Over the course of the next five cycles, only once did Sylestone ever come close to qualifying for the main tournament and even then, a late collapse ensured that Chromatika and Eura would make top two and eventually qualify for the World Cup itself. That was during qualifying for World Cup 89, the last before cultural conflicts saw an end to Sylestonean football on the international and domestic levels.

And then, once a compromise was finally in sight, the Sylestonean Football Association (SFA) announced a bombshell. Two months out from the start of the 34th Campionato Esportiva in South Newlandia, Sylestoneans woke up to the news that Mytanar legend Mojmir Anac has been appointed as head coach of the Sylestonean national football team and was expected to announce a squad for a friendly tournament in Chamberley and the Campionato Esportiva in the coming weeks. At first, people were sceptical - Anac, after all, had no previous managerial history and now, he was taking on a national team - but as people began to notice his committed, ultra-defensive mindset, it didn’t take long for the 38-year-old to win the public over.

For those that still remained sceptical, though, they were not after Anac’s squad of fifteen humans and eleven Sentients were only eliminated agonisingly close to taking eventual champions Tumbra to penalties in the quarterfinal. Before then, the Sentients had torn the likes of Gouvanarch and Macbon to shreds by the respective scorelines of 4-1 and 8-2 (!), before holding Brenecia to 1-1 after two hours of play and beating them on kicks from the spot. A superb campaign from a side that had only just begun its second foray into football on the international scene.

And it was about to get even better.

The 93rd World Cup Qualifiers. Etched into the memory of every Sylestonean football fan for two reasons.

The first and more positive reason was the fact that Anac’s Sentients acquired a rather ridiculous 44 points from their twenty-two game campaign, only finishing behind Jeruselem and Kandorith, as well as ahead of the likes of Eura, New Gelderland and the Cordian Isles to steal a playoff spot against all pre-tournament odds. Over the course of the qualification period, Sylestone sealed triumphs over three of those five teams, including the two sides that eventually pipped the Esportivans for first and second place. Aside from that, the Sentients remained remarkably consistent, only losing four games overall - twice to Eura, once to Jeruselem and once to New Gelderland. While fellow playoff contenders dropped points at the hands of lower table sides such as Boring Paradise and Quakmybush, the Sentients remained incredibly consistent and ultimately, that is what made them secure a playoff berth.

That is where we get to the second - and not quite so good - reason why everyone will remember qualifying for World Cup 93 so vividly. Although Sylestone had surpassed all expectations in simply reaching the playoffs with their record, there was a sense of hope in the air at the Chamberley Institute of Sport as their beloved Sentients faced off against Huayramarca’s Condors for one spot in Tumbra and Chromatika.

Never had hope been snuffed out so early, though. Not even ten minutes in, experienced centre back Hugo Mornington was off the pitch for drawing an illegal tackle and before long, the Anaians were 2-0 up, running away with the match. Although a spirited fightback meant that the visitors were not quite assured of victory until it was 4-2 with minutes to go, before the Condors placed a foot in the World Cup with a fifth against a breaking Sylestonean unit.

From there, a comeback was always going to be something that would go down in World Cup history. Sure enough, the Sentients weren’t really at the races in the Huayramarcan leg as they left the stadium with another high-scoring loss, losing 8-4 on aggregate. Yes, the side who had conceded just nine times in twenty-two games had conceded almost that number over two legs against a single nation.

The 35th Campionato Esportiva came and went with noticeable further improvement as Anac’s side went undefeated through the groups in front of an adoring home crowd and reaching the semifinals to face off against a mighty Tumbran outfit destined to defend their title… again. In front of a packed house in Avondale, the Sentients yet again could not best the Eagles, finishing fourth after their second team lost to Natanians and Nosts in extra time. Another strong tournament overall - in three times of trying, Mojmir Anac had not once failed.

Perhaps World Cup 94 would be the one, though. Drawn into a qualifying group with a trio of Rushmori powerhouses - Banija, Mytanija and Sargossa - alongside Anaia’s Ochre Islands and Starblaydia, though, the likelihood of a top three finish was even slimmer than it was the cycle before. Moreover, a matchday one encounter in Busukuma against the defending World Cup champions was only ever going to go one way, the Sentients finding themselves spiralling towards the foot of the table with a 4-0 defeat. When that result was followed by an uninspiring home nil-all draw to the 14 Stars, concerns started to creep in. Throughout Anac’s time in Sylestone, never had the Sentients appeared so demoralised.

And that’s where the resilience the Mytanar had instilled in them from day one began to creep in. In spite of home losses to the Ochre Islands and Sargossa, the Sentients were still in third on seventeen points at the halfway mark of qualifying and although there were no resounding victories, they always appeared consistent and solid - their opposition had to work tremendously hard to come away with the three points. Throughout the remainder of the qualification cycle, that fact remained more or less apparent, although a couple of unsettlingly weak performances crept in against the 14 Stars and the Spartan Dominion - the latter a performance which could have sealed them a playoff spot after a victory at the Ochre Islands saw them jump two points clear of Sargossa in the race for third place. With only a point needed from a trip to Sargossa during the final round of games to qualify for the playoffs, Mojmir Anac had turned it around.

The next step? To obtain that point or three and win the playoff to book a ticket to Græntfjall and Kelssek.

It wouldn’t be easy, though. It had been five cycles since the Corsairs had even qualified for the playoffs, and ten since they had made the final 32. Twenty years of agony. And this was their best chance.

All that stood in their way was the defensive mastermind of Mojmir Anac and his little pawns; a mastermind that in the end, proved too extensive for the Rushmori outfit to deal with. Simply, the Sylestoneans outwitted their opponents for sheer doggedness and determination in a game that saw ten yellow cards and one red card - both sides literally put everything into the match. For a game that wasn’t even the final hurdle for qualification, passion shone through as tears of despair and joy drained from the faces of twenty-two players once the final whistle had blown.

And that’s where we get to here. The playoff against Nyowani Kitara. Ranked tenth in the multiverse, the New Kitarans were yet another Rushmori powerhouse - this one looking to send the Sentients capitulating out of the playoffs and making that one World Cup spot their own. Interestingly, their style of play was eerily similar to that of Huayramarca two years ago, with a hyper-aggressive outlook that saw them score sixty-one and concede thirty, only to be pipped for first by an upstart Brookstation on the road to their first foray into the final 32.

For the New Kitarans, it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. And that’s why they were at their brutal, aggressive best as they walked onto Háttmark’s Sanktjakobvöllur, a spot in the prestigious World Cup on the line.

Yet somehow, through sheer force of will and no small amount of luck, the Sentients held them. Level-headed and assured, Mojmir Anac’s side repelled every attack the New Kitarans launched over the course of the first half, the stout defensive unit refusing to let the likes of Odede Angonga and Kuma Negasu scythe between them, essentially removing them from the game and defending tightly at the back. With both central midfielders often dropping back to assist the defence, the Sentients simply sucked up the pressure, allowing their opponents 77% possession throughout the first half alongside ten shots - of which only one genuinely threatened Ryan Macleay between the sticks. Despite having to make a dive to his right, the 24-year-old’s safe hands stuck Angonga’s shot from the edge of the box to him like glue, maintaining the deadlock as the New Kitarans slowly began to tire.

After the break, it was always going to be a matter of which side would break first, if at all. Having withstood the initial burst, it was now up to the Sentients to try and capitalise on the weariness of the New Kitaran offensive unit and build some momentum in the midfield to threaten Oduor Bigombe who, other than receiving a few passes from the Nyowani Kitara central defenders, had barely been challenged. In fact, only a weak shot from Riley Strathfield as he attempted to cut between four defenders and score was the only housekeeping the 36-year-old had to make and even then, even a kindergartener would have stopped that one.

But the Sentients could not afford complacency. After all, that’s what cost them a total of six points against the 14 Stars and the Spartan Dominion thanks to late goals to both opponents - points that, in the end, probably wouldn’t have really mattered after all. But as we know, Mojmir Anac would have made them learn from those mistakes and here, this is where they would prove that indeed, they have used that experience to their advantage. Somehow, a team ranked outside of the top hundred in the multiverse were just about to both mentally and physically outsmart one inside the top ten.

It was the 65th minute when the big blow came. While the New Kitarans continued to dominate and press the Sylestonean back line after the break and constantly looked like creating a chance if it weren’t for some admittedly remarkable defending from the likes of Hugo Mornington and Hand Sanitiser in particular, the Esportivans would have been undoubtedly 3-0 or 4-0 behind. But no, despite all of their pressure, there had been very little in the way of clearcut chances - in fact, Brett Sarcav-Jones’ strike in the 65th was probably the best of the game thus far. Carrying the ball forward in what would prove to be a devastating counter-attack alongside Riley Strathfield, a quick one-two was all that was necessary before a mistake from New Kitaran centre-back Tendenka Mutsekwa allowed the teenage wonderkid a sight on goal. As he had done at Avondale City last season, Sarcav-Jones was not about to let the chance go to waste. Even with the ball on his non-dominant left foot, there was no hesitation. A fiery strike saw Bigombe’s desperate dive be in vain, rattling the net just behind the goalkeeper’s left post as half of the stadium rose in stunned jubilation.

Against the tenth-best team in the multiverse, Sylestone were 1-0 up.

And from that point onward, they never really looked like surrendering that lead. Only a chance for substitute winger Christian Pichard in the 85th minute could have theoretically been converted but even then, it would’ve been quite a remarkable finish considering his header was from closer to the edge of the box rather than the goal. In the end, Ryan Macleay was able to hold onto the ball rather comfortably as the New Kitarans began to get aggressive - nothing was going to stop them doing their very best to obtain that final goal.

Eight minutes of stoppage time followed, although it may as well have been eight years from those watching on in blue and orange. Every second felt like an hour, each minute a year. And yet the Sentients held on - Gemma Rodway even came only centimetres away from making it 2-0 with a powerful strike from outside the box that had everyone in the stadium on their toes. But it was not meant to be, as Mojmir Anac’s side were forced to fight right up until the referee had enough, blowing his whistle thrice to send the Sentients through to their first ever World Cup.

The emotion of such a significant achievement was going to take weeks to wear off. Hell, by the time the Sentients play their first fixture against Ko-oren in Græntfjall in two months’ time, there’ll still be that element of stunned shock that they were actually there, not in Huayramarca or Poafmersia for the Cup of Harmony. They were one of the big boys now.

Or were they? Drawn into a group with three defending champions in Eura, Ko-oren and hosts Græntfjall, to really gain that status they’re going to have to beat one of them. As the lowest ranked team in the World Cup finals.

But if anyone can, it’s Mojmir Anac’s Sylestone.

Nyowani Kitara 0-1 Sylestone
                                                                 Strathfield 65’

Starting XI vs Ko-oren @ VG Arena, Maigburg

Macleay; Holt - Mornington - Hand Sanitiser - Keller; Ryland - Brown - Rodway - Jones; Fleetwood; Strathfield

by **Delte** » Wed Jul 26, 2023 11:30 pm

Delte 3–2 Krytenia
Sports Correspondent Kim Samrodd at Whalleysbridge, Mazinaw in Kelssek for the Skimpy Matchday Report & Negligible Detail Express (Sports Section)

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, and it goes without saying that Enor Perro was our best player yet again while Young Henry Lightman looks entirely destined for stardom if only someone would read this report and sign him (for free, completely free), but certainly mention should be made of Eddie von Dach's surprise start ahead of Perran Garimund and, well, me - as I seem to have been relegated to third choice rightback. The son of the ambassador from Taxhavn, Eddie is the first non-Valleyman to play for The Representatives since the introduction of the surprisingly good Sicoutinaise-speaking Cooperites in World Cup 92 a few months ago. Eddie of course speaks perfect Deltic, being a highly educated young man, and joined the squad more on account of his donation of a considerable sum to the All-Week Super Ultra Premier Football Association, the Deltic FA, 'to help with ground improvements at Ildemorton Road' now that the Reps have established themselves in the Contiuous World Cup. Everyone thought Eddie was on the trip to Kelssek just for fun, as a courtesy. After all, Perran Garimund is a terrific rightback - and I'm not so bad myself, you know. But anyway, it is fair to say the handsome, intelligent, polyglotic and fabulously wealthy Taxhavnite is also a superb athlete and was a rock on the far flank of defence in our surprise play-off victory. Which is nice.

Ready Player 17: Eddie von Dach
Vignettes of The Representatives

Right fullback, age 19, for Oswark Town; occupation 'student' - is the valley of the river Delte a fresh air playground getaway secretly owned by the billionaire elites of Taxhavn, or do the apparently stoic Delts of the Valley in fact run everything in Taxhavn as a screen to bring precious shillings (and metals) into their undeclared offshore bank accounts? Unsurprisingly, it is not something anyone especially wants to discuss over breakfast with a bottle of Henderson’s Sheffield Sauce at the Prince Tyrbert Hotel of a Thursday morning. Certainly everyone in the valley retains a ‘holiday’ property on the Isle of Taxhavn, mostly in the district of Romainring which is colloquially known as Delthavn. Taxhavn provides much of the financial infrastructure for the valley, including clearing facilities for the Corn Exchange and more recently providing the Delte Mint, which no longer operates directly in the valley. There is a popular joke in the valley that the capital of the Delte community is St. Bernadine - the administrative capital of Taxhavn. What we do know for sure is that the finances of the two are intricately intertwined, and that if Taxhavn is the culvert through which all the riches of the multiverse flow, Delte is the backwater into which a lot of dubious cash drains. Hardly any wonder then that such a parochial little territory hosts an unlikely embassy - just the one - and enjoys the patronage of an ambassador from Taxhavn. Emanuel von Dach has been that fellow since 1998, and his son Eddie was born in the valley. A bright boy, he was educated at Oswark Grammar School and is purportedly enrolled at the University of St. Bernadine in Taxhavn to read Classical Archregimen - Polycarp, Tsimisecs et al. - and Modern Philosophy. Papa has apparently bought him a 10-million shilling apartment in the famous Scherbenturm building overlooking Taxhavn Harbour… but he was back pretty soon after enrollment and claims to be studying ‘remotely’ whilst playing an awful lot of football, cruising up and down the valley on his Oldyear Regatta superbike, and womanising, not to put too fine a polish on it.

Ready Players 1-16

Rake Teinton Women's Institute International Charabang
Far Faraway Correspondent & Travel Editor Sally Nuskcharde in Græntfjall for the Shingarter Herald

A few days after meeting up with the Women's Institute in Gnejs, I have once again joined the WI as they continue their international tour following the Reps on their World Cup journey to Kelssek and/or Græntfjall or Graintfjall or Monte Verde or Quintessland or Polar Islandstates without the attraction of Bjarnarey or whatever it is called these days. The ladies have some chaps from the Prosaic Union in tow, describing themselves as the Men-Persons in polite company and PUMPs when you catch them offguard. The Gnejsians seem to have taken a role as personal security in the charabang, but whether they are protecting the old ladies of the valley from a multiverse of ills, or whether they are protecting the multiverse from the Women's Institute is open for debate. The ladies from Rake Teinton have a few ideas about how things ought to be done, and what the world needs, and how Johannes Foreigner should behave when entertaining the senior citizens of the valley - and they are not afraid of expressing those ideas. For a start they aren't impressed with the comfort standards in Hartburg, ahead of The Reps' first group match at the New Skoðarhüb against Tikariot, and nearly started one - a tickariot that is [Deltic term for forcefully expressing an opinion of dissatisfaction with a physical display of destructive power, compound of 'ticking off' - telling off - and rioting, which is a universally understood demonstrative action, most unstoiclike] in a mid-priced bakery café. "Turn the heating up, dear, it's far too chilly!" said Madge Aughtshamble to the sullen waitress. "Well I never, drag me backwards through the birdcage!" she cried - showing off some of her new Gnejsian phrases - when the waitress pulled a face and made some snarky comment under her breath. "These Green Mountain types!" said Madge. It took the PUMPs to smooth things over, and a good job they were there. Whatever will happen when they railroad off to Búðarberg for the Dandelions opener against Pasarga, and they aren't about to smooth things over between the highly unimpressed Women's Institute and the abrasive locals?

by **Vilita** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 3:38 am

♫ Climbing up the top sails, I lost my leg! ♫ I'm shipping up to // screech // scratch // Rebels Time... Back again... ♫

Shipping Up to Græntfjall

Alright so, first things first. The Vilitan National Team are back in the World Cup Finals. Now, typically, when you play in both host nations at the World Cup Finals, it means you've done something really great. As in, you've made it to the World Cup Final. Heck, even some World Cup Champions go through an entire World Cup Finals and only play in one of the two host countries. However, when the Vilita Jungle Rebels take the opening kick off at the Fljarkfjall Arena, Þingsnitz for their opening game of the World Cup 94 Finals they will have already contested games in both World Cup 94 host countries. Incredible! How did they do it?

The playoffs of course. Usually a mixture of home and away matches, one at your place and one at your opponents, the World Cup 94 Qualification Playoffs took a little bit of a different flavor as a one off neutral venue contest hosted in one of two World Cup 94 host nations venues. It just so happens that Vilita were drawn to play against Sendhang at the Stade Intersat in Saint-Rémy, Kelssek - which, in hindsight, was pretty nice all things considered.

The Jungle Rebels opponents for the playoff match would be Sendhang, one of the top performing third-place finishers in all of World Cup 94 Qualifying and a plucky side that lately seems to be in the mix for qualification for the World Cup Finals. The only previous meetings between Vilita and Sendhang had come during the World Cup 88 Qualifiers - not exactly a cycle to remember for Vilita who would go on to lose 2-5 in their World Cup Finals opener to Jeruselem and crash out in the group stage. But before that, it was a pair of 1-0 victories over then fairly low ranked Sendhang that really helped to steady the course and give the-then Jungle Cats a clear path to the Finals over Savojarna.

Fast Forward 6 Cycles or so and the two sides had very different fortunes. Sendhang had risen among the cream of the Mandalanusan crop while Vilita were still trying to get their parachute fully open to stop the free fall. While the Jungle Rebels were certainly the more historically succesful side - and possibly the slightly favored side on paper, there would have been no shock or awe in the press had Sendhang been able to come out on top and nip Vilita to that spot in the World Cup finals. Fortunately for us, thats not what happened.

From the outset, Vilita poured on the pressure and, most importantly, converted on their quality scoring chances. While there have been some games this cycle where the Jungle Rebels out shot their opponents but either lost or tied, TEST MANAGER would get huge support from outside their top line with the games opening goal coming from a defender and the next two from midfielders. Of course, it was the dazzling play of Ativiv Davaflei on the left attacking flank that led to Vilita's first corner kick opportunity of the game inside 5 minutes and it would certainly require good fortune for the placement to work out. But it did. Trezisi Rokopolis sent in a delivery that seemed to have eyes for Narri Sebapilo's forehead and the Marine Coast United defender powered the ball past Sendhang's veteran goalkeeper Albertus Wageo.

Naturally, such an early goal set a tone for the match and gave the Jungle Rebels a ton of momentum, but the real turning point came between the 15 and 25 minute mark where midfielders Fyin Miateal and Diamoa Waviino each were able to score on real highlight real quality shots from the edge of the area. It was clear that the goals took some spirit out of the Rice Farmers and from there, the game settled down a bit as TEST MANAGER instructed Vilita to hold possession and take fewer risks. As half time approached, the Jungle Rebels would finally get some support from their forwards as Treasvo Tlikara really hammered home the point tapping in a hard pass from Miateal to put Vilita up 4-0 at the break.

Despite the first half dominance, TEST MANAGER made a slew of changes at half time, keeping things fresh and also wanting to get one last look at a few players before the World Cup Finals - if Vilita could hold on to their commanding league and book their ticket to Kelssek and Græntfjall. One notable addition to the game would be Clarana Refiami, the EuraLeague based attacker who dazzled late in the World Cup Qualifiers with a goal against Dantopia and a hattrick against Patriotlandia after having not scored a goal at World Cup Qualifying for over two cycles before that. Whether Refiami has just been working hard in training to break back into the team or found a special blend of Cocoa-bo to fuel their sporting success it didn't matter much to the stat sheet as the goals would count all the same. Refiami would make it 5-0 Vilita on the hour with a spectacular Volley goal after being set up by Hothat Iciiplak.

Sendhang would get their consolation in the 73rd minute, once again denying Vilita a clean sheet when Sendhangite substitute Teuku Herman fired off a brilliant shot that caught Reino Kononen a little by surprise as the ball sailed over and into the net. 21 Games into the Qualifying cycle and Vilita had just one Clean Sheet. For a team that had previously been managed by a defender, it was absolutely not a surprise that changes had to be made with such a poor defensive record, averaging over two goals per game conceded. Of course, sometimes it came back to bite Vilita with a slew of points dropped over the campaign, but on this day in Saint-Rémy, it would seem to work out just fine as the Jungle Rebel attack was firing on all cylinders and would take one more for the road, with Clarana Refiami netting another in stoppage time to round out the 6-1 victory.

 Vilita 6 - 1 Sendhang	
	Vilita Goals:	:: 4' Narri Sebapilo:: 15' Fyin Miateal:: 22' Diamoa Waviino:: 39' Treasvo Tlikara:: 59' Clarana Refiami:: 91' Clarana Refiami         
	Stats :: Vilita 	:: Possession: 62%:: Shots: 10:: Corners: 17 :: Sendhang :: Possession: 48%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 1
	Vilita Lineup :: 	Reino Kononen, Narri Sebapilo, Injyua Klizlo (Clarana Refiami 45'), Rojara Tiones (Sami Samii’i 45'), Riku Kasslin, Jakku’u Naboyavi, Trezisi Rokopolis, Fyin Miateal (Mikele Alasita 45'), Diamoa Waviino (Letirpsi Vulitn 45'), Antiviv Davaflei, Treasvo Tlikara (Hothat Iciiplak 45')

The Jungle Rebels dominating performance would results in the most lopsided of all the World Cup 94 Qualifying playoff matchups and provide a rare bright spot for Vilita to focus on heading into the World Cup 94 Finals. With no changes expected behind the bench and the team expecting to have a similar makeup the real question would be whether goalkeepers Zelkki Milake Jr. and Ukamai Talingri could find their way back into the lineup by the time the Jungle Rebels kicked things off in Græntfjall.

For the World Cup 94 Finals Vilita will have to wait the longest of any team to get their campaign started as they will face off against Saint Eleanor and its traveling army of media representatives in Þingsnitz on the third day of games. The forecast for the match currently is a bit of chaos with strong winds and stormy conditions projected at kick off meaning that anything could happen in Group D action, which won't be welcome news for the Jungle Rebels as they will likely need to collect three points from Saint Eleanor, the lowest ranked side in Group D, if they are to stand any chance of advancing through to the knockout rounds. As the second seed, Vilita would be expected to make it through on paper, but there will be nothing easy about any of the Jungle Rebels three group stage matches. Vilita's World Cup 90 co-host the Commonwealth of Baker Park will be a tricky opponent in their 15th World Cup Finals and once again, for the third time since that hosted cycle, Vilita will have to face off with the Huayramarca. Vilita have an absolutely terrible record in important matches against the Condors, so bad in fact that the results are omitted from the official Vilita National Team results database. In reality, defeats in World Cup 90 and World Cup 93 sent the Jungle Rebels crashing out of the World Cup and perhaps World Cup 94 will be the Jungle Rebels opportunity to get one back and claim a victory that can finally propel them back out of the group stage and into the World Cup knockout rounds.

Of course, we will just have to wait and see, I know I'm going to bring my heavy rain coat for this one as it sounds like its going to be a wet one to kick things off in Græntfjall. Oh, and in honor of Vilita's World Cup 94 Playoff Victory against Sendhang, my good friend Soktiti Amakra did another one of the Wormhole scenarios. Of course, its not hard to imagine what things would be like in an alternate dimension. In a one off playoff game the results are somewhat binary. One team wins, the other loses. The Jungle Rebels were lucky enough to survive this time, but in another realm? who knows!

♫Doo-DOO-Doo-Doo Doo-DOO-Doo-Doo.♫

by **Turori** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 4:15 am

TURORI NATIONAL ✓

@TuroriNat
The Turori National Team will get a Grand Tour of Kelssek during the World Cup 94 Finals with matches in three different cities in a diverse spread of locations across the country. It will be an outstanding tourism opportunity for traveling fans to get the most out of not only visiting Kelssek, but also watching their National Team in action at the World Cup Finals.

#WC94F - #AmatopaWall - #GroupG

@TuroriNat
-@TuroriNat

The Eels will kick things off on Matchday 1 against Flavovespia and Griffin Park in Novonaya, the furthest North and Western venue within Kelssek for the World Cup 94 Finals. The Hornets have already taken down one Vilitan Cove region team in a big way with their 5-1 Thrashing of Vilita during Qualifying, and the Eels will hope to avoid a similar fate. The two teams split 2-1 results during World Cup 91 Qualifying when Flavovespia also got the best of the Eels, forcing Turori to a two-legged playoff with Cordia.

@TuroriNat
-@TuroriNat

Following the opener in Novanaya, Turori will march south to Burnaby where they will play HUElavia at the Stadium Konueira. It will be the biggest match between the two sides since the World Cup 85 Finals where the Eels were 2-1 victors on Matchday 3 in a Cup famous for Turori's unfortunately penalty defeat to eventual champions the Free Republics in the Quarter Finals.

@TuroriNat
-@TuroriNat

Finally, Turori will wrap things up on the coast at the furthers South venue of the World Cup Finals in Kelssek, playing a potentially decisive games against Nephara at Kingswharf in Breton. While Turori and Nephara have played numerous matches against each other, particularly in the Eagle's Cup, Nigel's Army will still be looking back to World Cup 86 when Nephara ousted Turori in the Round of 16 in a stunning blow to the morale of Eels faithful. Of course, Turori rebounded two cycles later but many fans still remember the taste of that 1-2 defeat to the Comorants and will be anxious to put that behind them with a victory on Matchday 3.

by **Nephara** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 6:03 am

Sebold lays it off... to Xu. Dashes forward, midfielder beaten, one-two with Loeher. Drop of the shoulder, cuts back-- Vetiver!!! Oh, and that's just a peach of a finish; holds off the man with her shoulder and curls the ball past the goalkeeper, a horrifically slow shot but it had the angle, just enough juice on it... !

This... was her happy place.
It didn't have to be this match. There were plenty of others where she'd performed well and the team had won; both were needed, otherwise fault could be found, and in finding that fault and making improvement could be garnered satisfaction, but not happiness.

Won back by Constantine, recycled down the right. Brewer finds Kulesza, lays it off to Vetiver. Vetiver. Head of steam building up, now. Vetiver passes a man. Vetiver. Vetiver Vetiver Vetiver ViVIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Happiness was running at a scared opposing defence with the wind at her back, the nation cheering her on, putting a confident flourish on a qualifying performance that had started shakily, had its nervy moments.

Happiness was elusive.

And Olastor are retreating; 4-2 down but their thoughts are not on scraping back a point here, Nephara not pulling their punches... the substitutes combine, Swain and Rosziter, and now it's Loeher down the left. She looks tired, but-- flicks in the crossandthere'sVetiverrrrrrr! She wanted that hat-trick! And she gets what she wants!

And in the present ...

"With the great taste of Wheat Orbs now with Honey Mega Mix." She swallowed. "And the gooooooalden... fuckin'..."
She heard a sigh. "Take six?" The director, safe to say, was Unimpressed.
Vetiver levelled him with a look. "The script is shit. I'm not gonna say 'goalden'."
"No, it's 'gooool-den'," said the director with exaggerated patience. "Like the shout for a goal."
Vetiver fixed her eyes on him. "I know what the shout for a goal is. Not that most countries even... do that. I've scored several, you know."
The director grunted in a decidedly 'eyeroll-sportsball'-tinted way. Vetiver could tell that her particularly slow, drawling delivery, meant to imply he was an idiot, had to him seemingly implied that she was an idiot.
Their cultural misunderstanding was about to be taken out back.
"I'm not a fucking actor," she muttered.
The makeup woman stepped forward to offer a hand. "It's okay, nobody's expecting--"
"Don't fucking console me. You think this is the worst day of my life?" She had the odd feeling, as she felt herself drift away. There always came a point at which you could feel yourself lose control of a situation. Never felt good. She forced herself grimly back into her shell. "I'm not just some... fuckin'... look, I'm not saying the fucking goal-den line."
"Fine," said the director impatiently. "Say whatever line would make you happy. Take six?"
Vetiver took a deep breath. "With the great taste of Honey Mega Mix-- shit."
An exasperated sigh. "Take seven?"
"With the great taste of Wheat Orbs, now with Honey Mega Mix, with the flaxen wheat from the fie--"
"Flaxen?!"
Vetiver threw her box of cereal to the floor, which promptly exploded. Wheat Orbs went rolling to every corner of the room. It was a bad day for an existential crisis, and she was not so well-adjusted as to be above spreading it around a bit. "That puffy little cunt's still here when I get back tomorrow to finish this, I'm out. I'm done."
"But we don't have another slot booke--"
"Tomorrow!"

"Then," she told the interviewer with a wry smile, "by the time I came back, he was gone."
A moment's pause. "You sound surprised."
"Yeah, I told 'em if they had that little self-respect that they were going to fire a director just 'cause I'd had a few sharp words then it wasn't going to work."
Soft laughter from the studio audience. This was a soft interview. Late night. She'd been a coup. She was notoriously media-shy. But then, her agent had told her, quite firmly, that it was time to get ahead of the news, after... the incident.
'Make it a story,' he'd said. 'Do some raconteuring. You shags love a good yarn, don't you?'
The jocular jab didn't quite hit the mark. Or rather, it hit too close to home. 'Yeah,' she'd said.
"So we won't be seeing you as the face of Wheat Orbs."
"Guess not."
A quiet little jingle began to play. "Shit," muttered Vetiver, as the aides froze. So many people whose job it had been to approach Vetiver and make absolutely sure her phone was off, and that she wasn't going to answer a call on live television.
"Must be a lot of money you passed up," said the interviewer desperately.
"Oh," said Vetiver, fumbling with her pockets, "it's not the money. Just do what the agent says, I guess."

DAD
Watching your interview with great interest :eyes:

"Like being here."
Bingo-beep!
"Aha."

On a vpn hehe

"Uhm..."
Bingo-beep!

So proud of you my girl!!!

"It's nothing, it's nothing," said Vetiver, turning off her phone and shoving it back into her pocket. An awkward, painful smile. It was suddenly excruciatingly apparent that Felixe Vetiver's face was not mechanically used to smiling.
"I mean, that must be a good position to be in."
Blink. "What's that?"
"Where the money--"
"Oh." Her processing caught up. Sharp as anything when the wind was blowing on the flatlands, but here? She could hear the audience whispering, mics buzzing. Too much. "Well, my father always said--" Fuck! Why'd she bring him up? "-- if you can count it, it's not enough."
"You can still count that high?"
"I mean." The grin turned more forceful. "It's a fucking joke, isn't it." Fucking foreigners. The audience lapped it up, though. God, she missed home. Late-night talkshows had been banned in Nephara for decades, now, since an ill-fated bit about the resurrection of the monarchy had lead to thirty-eight arrests.
"But," she forged on, "I'm sure I could, anyway. Counting's... it isn't hard. One by one." Fuck, why was she still talking?
They'd booked a stand-up comedian before her. He sat behind. "Bet you can get up to twenty if you take your shoes off."
The audience laughed. The comedian supplemented his joke with an 'ohhhhh!' The drummer played a fucking rimshot.

"Felixe, my girl," said her agent, days later, "you are about as cool as a volcano. You should not make public appearances."
"I just told him I'd kill his entire family. It was a well-meaning jest."
The agent hesitated for several seconds. At last he said, carefully, "It did not come across in that spirit."

So now she was here, Damage Control Fallback Point B, a glossy-looking magazine had sent a glossy-looking woman to get an insight into the real Vivi. The sub-header would have 'After recent controversies,' in it, or something like it.
The woman's smile was well-meaning. Vetiver did not trust such smiles.
"It's been a rough month for you, professionally speaking--"
"What?" Vetiver blinked. "We got to the World Cup. Scored a hat-trick."
"-- well, off the pitch."
"Oh."
"And I can't help but wonder..." Again, she looked at her surroundings. She'd kept on doing that. Vetiver's house was one of those clean, minimalist jobs made for passing oligarchs, one that couldn't afford to have any personality in it, nothing that would risk alienating a customer. And in the years she'd been here, since fully taking off at 1830 Cathair, Vetiver had resolutely refused to imprint any of her own personality on it. 'The real Vivi' was going to be harder to discern than looking at the fucking curtains.
"You can't help but wonder."
"Er. Sorry, yes. I do wonder... where are you happiest?"
"On the--"
"Off the pitch. Or outside of... sporting contexts. How Does Vivi Chillax."
An unexpected laugh. "Chillax?"
The woman looked mortified.
"Chillax."
"Er, it means," she fumbled. "It's a portmanteau."
"Fuck me. I didn't know people still said 'chillax'."
A pause. "They don't, really."
"Ha." Vetiver snorted. "You're scared shitless of me, aren't you?"
"... Er."
"That's the thing." She tapped her leg. "That's the thing. It's the way people look to me. It's the... expectation. It was easy enough, going up in the world. I only had to fight for me... pretty much." One exception. "But if I failed, well, that'd be it. I needed the Harriers Under-Seventeens more than they needed me, you know. Then going up, well, the money starts coming in... and word starts spreading. Everyone I talk to, everyone-- in the game, you know, they say that it was easy up until the point where some random could pick their face out of a lineup. Well, that was done for me by eighteen." Shrug. "Starting lineup every day. Whole city looked to me. Well, the half of the city that's worth a damn, fuck the Rovers," she added, reflexively, "but you take my point, I'm there as one of them, I'm there as their best player, I'm there as a massive transfer fee... you know, different things to different people. And it's not slowed down from there. Now I'm with the Cormorants and every bad game it's like, fuck, I'm letting people down. Because they expect so much of me. It..."
It reminded her of her father.
"Reminds me of home." She'd never quite said it, before. God knew she didn't want that in the press. She had not cut her father off. But she had an entire accountant employed just to keep his expenses in check, which was, she was pretty sure, not normal.
"How so?" The journalist leaned back, more in her element now.
She hesitated. "We were poor. Growing up. Without me, my father would always have been poor. I... changed his world. He relies on me." Ah, fuck, now it was all coming out. "That's not right. Not at my age. Not at his. Anyway," she lurched across tracks, "that's the deal. I'm always letting people down. Everyone who sees me has this life-changer in their mind's eye. They're in awe, you know, or they're relying on me for a meal ticket. So they're underwhelmed when I'm just... kind of awkward with words. Kind of ill-fitting. With everyone. Hard making friends growing up. Hard talking to people now. And I can feel their disappointment. Feels bad. I take it out on them and they get fired, and now everyone's afraid of me, on top of all that. Now I'm here, doing this fucking stupid interview, and I just..." She gestured, vaguely. "Just want to sit alone in a room for a couple of weeks, with nobody looking at me, nobody asking me questions. That's what I do, most of my free time. I sit around, I read. I dunno, it beats breaking my fucking back in a factory eight hours a day. And I know that for ninety minutes a week I get to go out there and it all makes sense for a bit. And even then... club fans want us to win every year. Nepharim want us to win every two years. Football just doesn't work that way. Fuck knows why anyone's a fan."
She trailed off. She could hear the nib scratching away for some time.
"Some cunt on twii.tur called me a personality void," she added, after a time. "That stuck with me. And I can see you thinking it, too."
"No..."
"Looking at the curtains. Well." She shrugged. "Fact is, I don't know what makes it all tick. I don't know. I'm not really happy, but I get by. I don't make people happy when I talk to them, but... there's good times. Someday I'm going to retire and put all the stacks of money into making sure no fucker every lays eyes on me again, but for now there's football, there's the World Cup coming... and I don't really give a fuck what people think of me or about cereal or that shit stand-up or whatever, because the difference I was put on this earth to make, I think... that's a month out. That's the World Cup. I'm going to win one, one for Nephara. And a Champions League for Cathair. And a Testiculo for me."
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.
"And if you can't do that?"
Vetiver's eyes had wandered, by now. The sun had begun to set. "Then I don't know," she said, simply and honestly. "I don't. But at least it's a goal."

by **HUElavia** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 7:32 am

Return of the Yellow and Blue

HUElavia return to the World Cup after a miraculous QualifyingGroup victory!

After 24 long years, HUElavia has returned to the World Cup. Despite going up against the likes of Kandorith, Audioslavia, and Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom, HUElavia pulled a miracle and upset all these teams to directly qualify to the World Cup in Graintfjall and Kelssek.

When was the last time that Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos were at this prestigious tournament? Back in World Cup 88, when the famous Quebecois manager Leonardo Conavacio was the manager and leg the team into the tournament in his first attempt. O'Reagan has repeated this success and now, HUElavians are rejoicing at the chance to show off on the multiverse's ultimate stage.

HUElavia was played into Group G with the likes of Turori, Flavovespia, and Nephara, a very difficult group for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos. Expectations are so low for the team that even in other nations, their news reports barely, if ever, mention the team in the Group previews. O'Reagan was quoted as saying "It isn't right for a team as historic and notable as HUElavia, one of the best teams of the IAC, to be put aside like that. But no matter, it can definitely serve as motivationfor us to perform well."

HUElavia will be playing their matches in Kelssek, a nation that the team had previously had history with, producing two historic upsets in IAC 8 and 9, when they eliminated Kelssek in the Quarter-Finals of both tournaments. The team will be based in Latrobe throughout the tournament, with their hotel and training facilities being in a more private area of the city. The team's schedule will be as follows:

Matchday 1
HUElavia vs Nephara
Macquarie Docklands, Latrobe, Kelssek

Matchday 2
HUElavia vs Turori
Stadium Konueira, Burnaby, Kelssek

Matchday 3
HUElavia vs Flavovespia
Millenium Park, Redswyth, Kelssek

While HUElavia will be listed as the home team, there is a possibility that the team will wear their 3 uniforms at least once in the tournament, depending on the opponents uniforms. On top of that, the temperature may determine which uniform Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos will wear. The fans will be on the left side of the field throughout the three games, as thousands have bought tickets and the left end zone will be draped in the colors of HUElavia.

O'Reagan chose many of the main players featured in the qualifiers, but with injuries to solid players in Brousseau and Mayordomo, new players have been brought in to cover them. More than likely, this roster may also be the ones used for IAC 19, when that tournament comes around. The team has been training diligently since arriving to Kelssek and they look to give it their all during this World Cup.

Fans have been flocking to stores to purchase merchandise of the team, ranging from jerseys to scarves to shirts and even the official sticker album to fill in all 32 teams of the tournament. Many watch parties are being set up around HUElavia, as the nation will experience a virtual standstill during the matches. That is to be expected due to the grand return of this team.

While not much hope is put up to HUElavia, it feels much like when the team debuted: Ranked in the 40s, play in a very tough group and have not much expectations for them. Back in World Cup 83, that team fell short of advancing due to tiebreakers, after two historic victories. Today, the expectations are to get at least a point and pull off upsets. This team is playing on house money after surprising everyone with their qualification, and all they can do is go up from here.

Here's to what can be a historic and memorable tournament, one that HUElavians can cheer a goal, and maybe, God willing, a victory.

FORÇA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 8:31 am

World Cup 94 - playoff
Saint Eleanor 1 (Sylvia Hollenberg red card 23', David Newcastle goal 45+1')
Milchama 0 (Avi Benbemore missed penalty 58', Davis Clark red card 81')

Saint Eleanor progresses to the group stages of the World Cup

World Cup 94 - group D

MD2 [7]  .Huayramarca.
MD1 [18] .Vilita.
MD3 [21] .Commonwealth of Baker Park.
>>> [38] .Saint Eleanor.

Thirty Years of Eleanorians - 1998: "I met the President while walking to school"
Published by Stephen McDonald on May 14th 2005

It's a safe bet that everyone in Eleanorian high society - from sports and the media to entertainment and diplomacy - has either met President George Mitcham or is well on their way to doing so. You can also be fairly confident they did so in a relaxed, structured environment, unlike Katie Boulding. "The school I go to is very close to where the President lives. He always does work in his office or in other places, however, so I did not think I would ever talk to him by accident."

The walk between Boulding's house and her school, the Capital First Primary School, does take in Walter Street, which cuts right in front of the Presidential Palace. The President does, however, sometimes walk to and from important meetings and events. "It was about six months ago. They do a lot of things at every month of the year but I don't know any of the government things that were happening. There's a new game but the President isn't doing that, he says to the people below him to do that. What happened was, I think, that he had a meeting somewhere else that morning and needed to go back for other things."

Her guess was spot-on, and it didn't come without reward either. "My dad was walking me to school when he saw the President and talked to him about what was going on. Not the government, just everyday life and what was happening in it. I don't know what they were saying but I said hello a lot and he said hello back to me. I knew who he was so I said thank you for doing a lot of good things for the country and he gave me a thumbs up... like this." She didn't, however, talk about it at school until the end of year celebration. "I thought I didn't have to tell people that because it wasn't important. Then I told them before we did games on the last day of term and everybody clapped!"

This may be the last time Boulding meets the President, too. Her parents work fairly well-paid, if relatively discreet, corporate office jobs and, while she says she wants to join the Army as a grown-up, Mitcham will be 72 - if not dead - by the time she can sign up. "There will always be a President! I think I will talk to the new person in the future if I work hard enough and get an important role outside of the trench work. I thank God that I met President Mitcham and I will tell my children as soon as possible because now I know it is important. Also I met him on accident and it's not very likely you meet him on accident rather than in a meeting. He didn't even have his security men, which was a bit odd."

Saint Eleanor is a small-enough place that famous people in general are noticed, and noticed easily. Many of the great footballers have been widely spotted out and about in public, while district leaders (themselves high-ranking Army members) and broadcasters (although often from stations other than LocalTALK) have also attained some celebrity status. Boulding remains grounded in those regards, too, saying that "I only think about meeting my friends and people at school on purpose and if I see anyone else in the real life that I see on the TV, I'll think that's a nice accident, let's go!"

by **Valanora** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 12:37 pm

Valanora Times
Eastwood Announces Finals Roster

Despite all the obstacles along the path, including a tremendously poor home record for the Marauders, the side has managed to find themselves in the Finals once more and are looking with renewed purpose to the matches ahead of them. The Qualifiers had a lot of different turns that one might not have come to expect from the team and having to have struggled through the playoff in order to make it to the Finals definitely can be a cause for some concern and unease. However the end goal of the qualifying campaign is to make it to the Finals and go on from there. While a certain level of entertainment and perhaps even dominance is to be expected by the fans of the team, as such as has been established by the ridiculous standard that comes at being a team with five stars adorning their crest, the staff and the players know that the goal must first to make it to the tournament in the first place. There can be no chase for the sixth title that people have been clamoring for for decades if you are not even in the tournament to begin with, which is the struggle that every qualifying campaign now, before, and in the future holds for the squad. It is a test of will and endurance, to see if you still have the drive and tenacity to see through a process that over the course of time might seem tedious, to make sure entitlement has not sunk in and lead to complacency.

Mertagne was a set to be a challenge for the Marauders in the Playoff, a team who had been on the rise and for whom many foreign media fancied to humble what was on the surface a Marauders squad that had not been handling pressure well, with having faltered in the home matchup against Quebec that handed the opposition the group title. It was a reasonable assumption, the team was having one of the more poor qualifying campaigns in recent memory, for even in other campaigns where qualification had not been secured until late they had performed on a better point per game ratio, while Mertagne was a squad who had a certain charm about them. When the pressure intensifies though, you will often see the very best players rise to the occasion and set their teams up for success and for the Marauders, they are blessed with a few of those who did so against their foes from Anaia. Laborious Hawk and Lothas Ludwig both were on the scoresheet, with the latter getting a brace and rewarding Eastwood's decision to include them in the squad after initially thinking to drop the striker from the qualifying pool. The Marauders cruised then to a four to two win, with Holt adding the fourth for the Marauders and the team in triumphant fashion into the Finals.

The Finals will see the Marauders traveling to Kelssek, a nation and team with whom the Empire shares cordial relations with, and as such might be inclined to see a swell of support from the locals in their stay in the nation, as evidenced by the club Mazinaw Vanorian in Kelssek's topflight. It also comes with the uncomfortable expectation and desire that every entry into the tournament brings to the team and those around it, that desire for the sixth world title and to be able to definitely say that the team is the best ever in history. Two other teams have reached that five title marker since the Marauders did it, equaling the Starblaydi who had earned the fifth title in the Empire no less, and the team has seen its star wax and wane over that time. The game has changed since the last time the Marauders lifted the trophy, generations have come and gone, the elves are no longer the dominant species in the Empire. It is a different time now than it was then and there are some who have not seen the Marauders lift the title in their lifetimes, teams who have entered into the World Cup fray and won and then fizzled out since the Marauders have last added another star to their famous twin saber crest. That sort of pressure and expectation could be the very thing that has weighed the team down and prevented them from doing so, in an ironic turn of form.

To handle that pressure and to discard the poor performance of the Qualifiers, Eastwood needs a team who are able to ignore the outside influences and merely focus on the task at hand, who have been here before and emerged victorious from the fray. The group is far from an easy one, as the Marauders entered the tournament ranked eighth and were the worst team in the first pot and unluckily drew the best team from the second pot in Tumbra, as well as a Yuezhou side that managed to heavily overcome one of the longest standing sides of the World Cup in the playoffs to get here, and Brookstation as well. The Finals are often described as no easy games, but this will be quite true for the Marauders and they needs must get off on the right foot to continue their journey, with Yuezhou being the first team on schedule. Lothas Ludwig is that sort of character that Eastwood would need, strange to think he was close to not even being part of the pool for the team this cycle and yet here he will be leading the line and perhaps being the talisman for the team. There of course will be the legendary captain himself, who should the need arise, can put this team on his shoulders and see them through, though it would be dire straits for the team if that were to be needed. A team wins and loses as a group and Eastwood has called upon this team to rise to the occasion and overcome any lasting doubts, to forge ahead with eyes unclouded by the past.

Goalkeepers: Günter Obermaier, Ulsa (Eura); Viktor Sandnes, Club ESF; Ezio Castillo, Club Atlético Bexar
Defenders: Ralph Winter, Brantisvogan FC (SRS); Laura Adler, Mipojoseon (Quebec) (F); Louise Løvoll, Mar Sara FC (F); Samira Lindström, Raynor City United (F); Pierre Wisniewski, Herzegovina City FC (Banija); Ismail Blom, Tanrısal (Pasarga); Franziska Maurer, Duke of the North (Pasarga) (F)
Midfielders: Julia Holt, Ulsa (Eura) (F); Indra Söderström, Club Stein-los (Pasarga) (F); Siegfried Franz, Mar Sara FC; Maximilian Edvardsen, Pyathora Mariners FC (Tikariot); Götz Konstantin, Bastion (Eura); Selim Estrada Barrientos, Raynor City United; Heike Schoß, Jinja City FC (Banija) (F); Laborious Hawk, Myana (Chromatika); Petra Müthel, Ibini FC (F); Götz Makatsch, CF Outineau (Kelssek); Andreas Bjerk, Burnaby SC (Kelssek); Anja Loos, Jungle Strike FC (Vilita) (F)
Forwards: Jutta Palminger, FC Capri (F); Lothas Ludwig, Soldarian FC; Taina Vääräniemi, Dí Maozöxê (Farfadillis) (F); Hadi Lundström, Raynor City United (F)

by **Pasarga** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:03 pm

Despite doing everything in their power to throw away the chance to make it to the Finals, the Wanderers are here after all, and are looking to try and make it more than just a three game stay in their regional counterparts of Græntfjall. Their fellow Rushmoris are one of the cohosts of the tournament as well as one of the favorites, sitting upon their lofty perch of second in the most recent rankings, and have Thor at the helm of their side who has been running rampant through competition for the better part of the last decade with medals earned since his appointment at the head of their national team. Does that mean that the Wanderers are likely to see a warm reception from the locals when they take to the field though and gain an extra edge that may or may not be needed in these tense affairs? Well, maybe, though the hosts are not exactly known for their warm personalities and hospitality, say hello to many feared kraken that patrol their waters as well as the sort of temperatures that are going to make many player and fan visiting the wintery lands to be dreaming of the comfort of the dual islands during their stay in the location.

Be that as it may, the Wanderers are here in the Finals and need to regroup after a second half of their qualifying campaign that was more than a little bit rocky, culminating in a last matchday draw away to Stevencousin that necessitated that the team need to qualify via the playoffs. The team had lead the group for most of the second half but dropped points galore allowed Tumbra to claw their way back from third position in the group and snatch away the spot from the Wanderers at the stroke of midnight, resulting in a tussle with Ceni. Recently returned from international exile in the footballing world, the fellow Rushmori side was expected to be a team that the Wanderers were going to easily see themselves past with the difference in talent level between the two sides. That did not come to pass however with Ceni on two occasions pegging a goal back against the Wanderers when they had taken the lead, and the team needed a eighty-first minute strike from second half substitute Eustacio Corral Magana in order to emerge victorious from the fixture. To say the road getting to the Finals has been a stressful one would be putting it quite lightly, though the road less traveled is oft to forge a sterner spirit.

What awaits for the Wanderers now that they have made it to the Finals and are looking to expunge the poor performance from the last cycle's appearance? Well, it is one of the most gifted attacking teams in all of the qualifiers in the form of Gnejs, the runners up of the last edition of the tournament with Chromatika, and then one of the most dominant performances from the qualifiers in the form of the Squornshelan Remnant States. Nothing is ever easy is it? It is a formidable group to say the least, made so as well by the Wanderers own inclusion in it and it will make for a very difficult one to try and make predictions from, seeing as how three of the four teams in the group had to qualify via the playoff. Some would think it would be the Atlantian Oceania side that joined the Pasarga and Gnejs in the playoff maelstrom, but it was not them but rather last edition's runners up in Chromatika and a side whom that sort of humbling is sure to light a fire in them. The winds of fate are blowing very precariously and all in this group have the potential to catch flight, though will it to be soar above or to be thrown against the rocks in the raging storm?

On paper the Wanderers best chance for points will be their opening match, where upon they will take on Gnejs, whom they have played a few times in the past, though those fixtures are far away gone that they need not really be of consequence. Gnejs was absolutely blasting everyone and everything with its offensive prowess during the Qualifying campaign and it was honestly a bit of a surprise that they needed the playoffs but they survived them much the same as the Wanderers. It is a matchup that on paper that looks to have a lot of goals in it, with the system that Orengo has brought to the dual islands and everything we have seen from Gnejs this cycle with their ability to seemingly score at will. The Wanderers will be desperately wanting to make good on actually making it to the Finals though, despite the way that it all ended up, and to erase the painful memories of last Finals as well as Copa. It is a team that will be hungry and full of determination to be better than the sum of their parts, but can that see them slow down the Gnejs attack and still have their own succeed? It need not be a clean sheet but keeping Gnejs to just one goal would give the Wanderers all the chance they need to get a result and to get this tournament off on the right foot.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:10 pm

Channel 4 presents THE RACE TO THE WORLD CUP - World Cup 94, single-legged playoff
SAINT ELEANOR 1-0 MILCHAMA (David Newcastle 45+1)

Report by Candy Hewitt, Channel 4 football analyst: David Newcastle's late first-half strike was enough to give Saint Eleanor the most decisive edge of all against Milchama at the Stadium Konueira in Burnaby, Latrobe - an edge that, in one of the most morally and physically tense games the nation has ever played, saw them through to only a second ever World Cup. Unlike in 2000 or even 2004, there was no doubting at the start that the White Stars were the obvious underdogs of the tie: the worst runners-up against the best third-placed finishers, the newly-coined 38th team in the world against the 24th, ten thousand time-starved - almost outright starved - supporters against what felt like the rest of the stadium.
The formbooks very, very quickly looked as though they were about to be proven true. Avi Benbemore - now surely the archetypal Milchaman striker - was rampant throughout, logging two shots on target and three more that weren't quite close enough. His co-operation with Cal Mamet and the wide two was something to behold. The Eleanorians must have considered it some sort of miracle that they got out of those attacks unscathed, let alone only two goals down or so - certainly that would have been the impression given their fairly turgid start, something we have come to expect from them this cycle.
Good news from the defence came in the form of error far more than skill: Sylvia Hollenberg was sent off early on for taking down Mamet, the bona-fide Eleanorian defence tried and failed to man-mark for half an hour before wisely deciding to stand well clear instead and - with the decision to field Rachel McNamara as a bona-fide striker in a 4-4-2 backfiring even more, she and Rick Goldsmith combining for even fewer successes - Bridget Coombe was left to run just about the entire midfield line. "Good job she has three lungs," one fan said to me in a pub near the stadium this morning. How right he was.
This was arguably the greatest challenge she has ever faced. The importance of the game goes some way to explaining it; the gearbox pivot in the Milchaman midfield, with Kelly Filimitov rotating between the defensive and attacking lines as Hollenberg would have done in ordinary circumstances (and Esther Launceston was, arguably, doing now), underscored the test. Contrasting with Saint Eleanor's early pattern of failings, it was quite her good luck that she snapped onto any even-vaguely-loose ball she could - and strung it about well enough to strand the favourites.
David Newcastle doesn't rest inside as regularly as he did today. Coombe filing a pass to him late - almost too late - in the first half may have flummoxed Eric Hexidevorah, the unflummoxable. His move towards goal flummoxed nobody: he had just enough space to come up with a simple drive that landed yards away from even the goalkeeper. There were other attempts in the second half: other chances, other shots at literal glory. Few were as accurate and none were as good as this.
This may well have been a vintage game, one for the ages, but based on pure performance alone, it already is not. Benbemore's soft penalty after the restart - one which coasted well over the bar - was the ideal response to a soft, and in retrospect highly doubtful, booking for Launceston for supposedly just about fouling him. The Eleanorian attack, in turn, continued to run through the wings, albeit with only a couple of half-decent deflections to show for it - and the cliche "a real stinger" was in fact best applied to a McNamara piledriver wafted away at the seventy-minute mark for a corner. Both sides unnecessarily threw caution to the wind for little reward and Milchama surrendered what va-va-voom they had after Davis Clark's impact from the bench turned out to be a quick red card of his own. Still, the result matters.
The win was not just pulled out of the bag from nowhere: the White Stars showed serious intent throughout the second half and, despite Benbemore's penalty failure and their own lacklustre intensity, were more likely to win from the moment the switch flicked. Nor was it as dirty as some early analysis has suggested it to be: only a smattering of yellows were handed out in addition to the two dismissals and even offsides were seldom. What this was - and what even Coombe herself was willing to accept this as - was "a complete, unmitigated success." It is apt that the win to take them through to the final thirty-two be scrappy, misinterpreted and a surprise with as much bite as you've come to expect. Beauty will not be the order of the day there, either: simple practicality and intention will, and the winners today will surely have enough of that to see them through, no matter who comes next.

⨷ ⨷ ⨷ ⨶ ⨷ ⨷ ⨷

Thirty Years of Eleanorians - 1999: "I drew on the classroom walls but I'm sorry I did that"
Published by Peter Jones on May 19th 2005

Rare is the parent, even in Saint Eleanor, who has not been warned at some stage that their primary-school-aged child is something close to a "cheeky rascal," the kind of person who'd cause chaos and trouble even where there was none to be made. The parents of Danny Marsh in Farbend are far from exempt, but extraordinarily so. "I like doing things inside the class when it rains a lot but this year after I started has not been very good and that is where I am playing with my friends now."

Even a few short months ago, Marsh's friendship had not drawn the ire of his teacher. "When you are teaching people at age five or six, you need to know a lot of things about how the world is, you are not like a teacher in big school who only says learn about this, the other teachers help you with that and that. He said that he would have enjoyed teaching us with a bit of trouble and not teach some nicer people who he couldn't talk to as much. I think what he wanted to say was we were always a fun class who had no big, big problems."

At some point, the laws of probability must have dictated somebody would spoil the fun. He proved to be that somebody. "The weather means we stay in the class for playtime on most days at the start of every year, which means we can use the toys, read one of the books in the class library or do drawings. I started normal drawings with my friends, Charlie and Emily, with the big whiteboard pens. I thought this was not very fun after a few days and began to draw on the walls. My first drawings were circles that had no point, but in time I started to draw people and animals and things that happen every day."

While hardly an artistic masterclass, Marsh's drawings went undetected for something close to two weeks - nestled as they were in perhaps the most unappreciated corner of his classroom. "I did a big area of the wall and I think everything there, other than the first circles and squares I did, has a meaning like words do." He was rumbled in spectacular fashion: caught on camera for the local newspaper, who were running a completely unrelated regular segment about the affairs of the town's primary schools. "My dad says that was the biggest story they did when it happened. They were not happy with me for doing it and not happy with the teacher for not telling me off."

Attempts to make Marsh clean off the drawings by himself failed, so he agreed to apologise to his classmates at the start of classes the following Monday anyway. "They didn't need the wall to put up other things my friends have drawn because they have space for that already. They just said that is not how we should be behaving with what the school owns and it makes the school, the teacher, my friends and me all look bad, and I said I agreed with it. What I drew got put down but in the future, I want to draw other big things that people will be happy by and not upset by."

A couple of months have been and gone, but Marsh is still drawing - although this time on paper rather than wallpaper (or, as it happened, dried paint). While his teacher has now switched to praising his efforts, his real goal in life is still clear. "I want to play for Indy and become the first person from Farbend ever to play for Saint Eleanor in football! Come on, Indy!"

by **Graintfjall** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:15 pm

Kaija at the crossroads

The twists and turns of Prime Minister Kaija Michaelsdóttir’s career have seen her navigate coalitions with the left, and with the right; build her small splinter-group party into the dominant national political force; enter government, first in coalition, and then in the first majority in modern Græntfjaller history; spin her way through one scandal after another, one foreign policy misstep after another, all while surfing a wave of popularity while the rest of her party looks set to drown under the lashing tide of popular opinion; and end up with the soubriquet of “the Snow Vixen”, a bitter reminder of how the woman who came to power by criticizing the legacy of David Austmannsson has come to embody the exact same wheeling and dealing school of cynical politicking that she once promised to clean up. She now faces her toughest electoral challenge yet, as she has to prove that she can not just lead a political insurgency, but manage the expectations of a demanding public as the head of a government besieged with controversies.

Polling for the forthcoming “Vote 35” general election has confounded pollsters. One widely quoted, if possibly apocryphal, anecdote has an election volunteer for the Liberal-Conservative Alliance knocking on a door in the deep Mountain South, once the heartland of the now virtually politically extinct party, and being met by an old woman who apologetically informed the canvasser that she couldn’t vote for the LCA as she was voting for “Kaija’s party” in order to “turf out the Progressive Liberals”. Kaija’s party being the Progressive Liberals does not seem to have registered with a public who return a +11 popularity rating for the Prime Minister in polls – yet only 23% of whom support the Progressive Liberals. Election materials prominently featuring her visage have featured heavily in the most closely contested constituency seats, and the current significance of what was at the time of passage a little debated electoral law tweak that lists party leaders, rather than the name of the party itself, on list ballots, is now becoming clear.

Still young by political standards, telegenic, and with a compelling brand of personal retail politics, Michaelsdóttir’s attributes and talents as a politician cannot be questioned. And despite representing a strain of liberalism somewhat antithetical to the cultural conservatism of Græntfjaller society, she has proven adept at advancing her domestic agenda. She beat the unions into submission and then enacted sweeping civil service and pension reforms that have freed up billions. She responded to the Steinaux attacks with comprehensive anti-terror legislation that initially aroused fears of civil repression, yet also launched ambitious police reforms that included mandatory civilian review and body-worn cameras. Her deregulation reforms have revived the economy from the recession of the 20s. GANAX’s commercial spaceflight program has finally taken off, and Græntfjall is becoming a thriving tech hub.

But her abilities as a manager of international relations are rather more in doubt. The much heralded CORNCOB environmental summit ended in nothing but goose shit raining from the skies as other Rushmori attendees rejected the host government’s proposed carbon credit trading system. After sending the Second Fleet to Jabal Akhdar accompanied by fiery rhetoric and an equally fiery bombardment from orbital defense drones, she was forced to beat a humiliating retreat after failing to win backing from the Atlantian Oceanian nations whom she was surprised to learn objected to their region being essentially invaded by a foreign power. Her paradoxical anti-CRC stance has seen an old foe, in Nyowani Kitara, and a new friend, in the United Republics, embraced by the bloc, leaving Græntfjall an increasingly cold outlier. And her defense of Farolera in the Farf Civil War isolated the country even further as the weight of international opinion fell behind the Rülândéá and Indujan parties. “Other than dictatorial regimes and puppet states, it’s difficult to think of one single country in the world whose relations with Græntfjall have improved since she took office,” says foreign policy analyst Herjólfur Urðarsson of the Convenient Think-Tank for Pull Quotes.

The Prime Minister’s political future hangs in the balance

Not for the first time in her career, Kaija Michaelsdóttir may find her biggest asset to be one she doesn’t control: the rank incompetence of her opposition. She co-opted the Blue-Greens’ center-right political breathing room so successfully that they’ve been through a succession of national conservative leaders, none of them sporting a brand of populism energizing enough to engage with skeptical voters on the left. The Left-slate’s disintegration has not been at her hand, meanwhile, but at their own: falling out over everything from self-ID and antisemitism to party organization and funding, they have seen big donors desert them, disaffiliation from major unions, and a near fracturing of the Altendalur Convention. It’s been held together with tape for this election but few believe it will survive another four years. Reform 30-30, after promising beginnings, have struggled to establish a foothold. “If there’s an environmentalist vote in Græntfjall, they’re yet to find out where he lives,” says psephologist Rósný Hlinadóttir of the popular blog ElectionBONK.

Not that all is entirely happy in the Prime Minister’s own party. Her health care reforms failed to survive a vote of disapproval at the party conference, and had to be forced back into the manifesto by the executive committee. She has lost three senior Cabinet ministers after her “Night of the Long Kraken’s Claws” shake-up. And in the A-DDER room, her fallings out with Brynjúlfur Brynjarsson have become sufficiently legendary that a nastily misogynist line of discussion in some newspaper columns has taken up the line that she seems to have a fundamental problem working with powerful men (David Austmannsson, Zóphonías Juliusson). It’s the sneering sexism fitting of the gutter press. It’s an unbecoming line of inquiry that would never be used about a male politician who encountered similar difficulties. But it’s also true that her politicking reaches its limits when she can’t take her own party with her. The recent corruption scandal over the overdue, overbudget Eagl’e’s’ Club football venue, to be used in the forthcoming World Cup of Soccer, has further hit the government in the polls just as the final days of the election campaign gear up.

Few expect the majority to survive the vote. To win an absolute majority in Græntfjall’s mixed proportional representation system required a fluke of results four years ago. But forming a coalition with either of the main parties whom she has so thoroughly alienated during her time as Prime Minister could also force her into humiliating concessions, while her very success at shattering the second-rank parties, the LCA, NDF, and Catholic Democrats, leaves her with few other options, barring a bizarre uptick for Reform 30-30, currently battling to even make the Threshold for the Thing. Some have suggested she may go for a confidence-and-supply minority government to pass the budget and otherwise legislating by shifting, temporary coalitions on individual issues, knowing her opposition are unlikely to be able to form a majority of their own. Whether she heads left, or right, or in another direction entirely, none can predict. One thing remains certain.

Few would even now bet against the Snow Vixen surviving one last battle.

In this edition:

EDITORIAL: A reluctant endorsement for the Progressive Liberals, no longer progressive, no longer liberal, just what we’re stuck with
Election monitors told to expect delays owing to overlap with World Cup, scheduling of major games in key constituencies “complete coincidence”
Malika Játvarðsdóttir discusses mental health impact of pop music stardom
Imprisoned Kitaran war criminal to be permitted to testify at Truth & Reconciliation committee
Sara Kristoffersdóttir lashes out: “I wasn’t stabbed in the back, I was stabbed in the front”

Kæja at the crossroads

There’s a theory that the best leaders are those who don’t wish to be leaders at all. In the conveniently unrelated nation of Golgothastan, for example, Bort Chocowitz is forced by law to serve as President despite his repeated attempts to escape; the Golgothastani Secret Service may be the only personal protection detail in the world whose job it is to stop anyone from getting out of the President’s quarters. That those who seek out power cannot be trusted, but those who have to be dragged kicking into screaming into a position of authority are the best choice for the role. By that measure – admittedly a theory only tried in practice in one inconsequential third world shithole – Græntfjall may have navigated the chaos thrown up in the wake of Sara Kristoffersdóttir’s shock resignation as national team captain in the best way possible, by appointing the one woman who definitely did not want to take her place as the new skipper. Then again, how are Golgothastan’s national team doing lately?

Kæja Finnvarðsdóttir never wanted it to be this way. She made as clear as she could her lack of ambition for the captain’s armband following Sara K’s abrupt and surprising resignation. Eyvar Mathiasson, with whom she had played youth football, was believed the more natural successor, especially wearing the #4 shirt of Hjörleifur Reynarsson. He led the team to the defense of their Eagl’e’s’ Cup title in Straton. Yet as it became clear through the pre-tournament friendlies that Anarr Ebergsson was the preferred starting center-back, appointing a captain who wasn’t a guarantee for the starting XI became untenable. Nor was bringing back Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir as she was left out of selection entirely. Even Danny Oddkellsson, despite a fine season with Aminey CS, was no automatic selection amid the cluster of talented center midfielders that have seen no room for the likes of Steinar Clemensson or Arnar Heikkisson in the final 26.

She was left not so much as the obvious choice but the only choice: one of perhaps just three guaranteed starters. Hermione Hui, though incredibly talented, is just 22; Asbjørn Vilbjörnsson, though a terrific center back in his own right, holds political views that make Attila the Hun look like a vacillating sissy, and more to the point, is not shy about expressing them, making him unsuited to lead the increasingly diverse team representative of modern Græntfjall. With every position in the lineup a game-time decision for coach Ingþór Auðbjörnsson, it really was only Kæja who remained. As is tradition, the final decision was made by a team vote (reportedly unanimous, though the secrecy of the changing room remains an equally important tradition). On Monday, against Eura, she will emerge wearing the captain’s arm band (fringed with rainbow stripes, to advocate for LGB equality) to what will be, given the match’s venue, literally the biggest cheer for any game in Græntfjaller history.

So it’s fair to say she doesn’t have much in terms of a grace period to adjust to her new role.

The immediate retirement of Sara K, announced after Kæja was revealed as captain with the same speed as it took ND to locate their telephoto lens once Malika Játvarðsdóttir turned 18, has added a further, bitter twist. Arguably the greatest player in the history of Snow Wolves has hung up her boots as a direct response to Kæja’s elevation. Critics of Sara K have pointed to her failing fitness, increasing injuries, and general loss of form: perhaps, in this highly competitive squad, she might not have made the final cut. And the talismanic Wirr Tsi midfielder never actually managed to win silverware as captain: Álvgeirsdóttir led the Copa Rushmori and first Eagl’e’s’ Cup campaigns. Still, it’s difficult to believe that had she been even 85% fit and otherwise available, she would not be in Aigsvinger on Monday night in a #7 shirt. Instead that will be worn by a different Sara, Urrheddiao midfielder Sara Vatnarsdóttir, “Sara V” expected to start on the bench. The full details of Kæja and Sara (K)’s fallings out would stretch to require a Saint Eleanorian number of editions to cover in full. Suffice it to say the two women do not get on and that, while Kæja was able to bring herself to play under Sara K, the converse does not seem to apply.

If there’s a silver lining for Thor it’s that the reason for the lack of nailed-on starters isn’t an absence of talent, but a surfeit. If this squad represents the zenith of Thor’s nearly six year project to move on from Igrene Cantor’s Snow Wolves, it shows that KG’s development has paid off. Kristmar Raknarsson represents the traditional defensive substitution, a destroying DM brought on late to shut things down, Sana Emiliosdóttir is clearly there to pick up cones after training, and this should be a learning experience for Hrútur Melkíorsson. Every other player in the squad could legitimately start on merit. Any of the five strikers could play in almost any combination – Thor seems to have settled on a 4–3–3 system that allows Amandara Navinsdóttir Thakur to operate as a winger and roving second striker, but has been known to employ the more “traditionally Pasargan” 4–4–2 and 4–1–3–2 systems as well – while the only position of concern is holding midfielder, where a freak injury has ruled the talented first choice starter Erin Marshlily out of contention. Valtter Marvinsson has dusted off his boots to return, though he passes his sister Vanessa on her way out.

Græntfjall’s group draw drew a muted response at the official draw (IC) months ago. Though the group is on its face one of the easier, this is not a World Cup with any easy groups. And the opening match is an intriguing clash with historic geopolitical rivals Eura, against whom Græntfjall played one of the greatest matches in Copa Rushmori history, the quarterfinals of CR42. But aside from that meeting, a Cup of Harmony quarterfinal, a couple of Eagl’e’s’ Cup encounters, and a not-so-friendly, the two teams have actually rarely played each other compared to how frequently Græntfjall has played other Rushmori sides such as Nephara. Even that represents a weighty history compared to the other two group A teams, Ko-oren and Sylestone, neither of whom Græntfjall has ever played in any competitive game. Other than a brief vice-presidency of the World Cup Committee to the Ko-orenite federation, and co-hosting the “Baptism of Fire and Ice” with Sylestone’s FA, Græntfjall has not had much established history with the two nations. Danny Oddkellson is the only Græntfjall NT member to play in either country.

Across the World Cup, Banija enter as such prohibitive, overwhelming favorites as to be oddly disfavored in Græntfjaller betting markets who figure something has to go wrong soon for the team who entered qualifying as defending champions and ran up 19 straight wins before busting their flush in the final game against Sargossa. Græntfjaller gamblers are laying shorter odds on Zwangzug, the most successful team over the World Cup cycle since Græntfjall last lifted the trophy, and Chromatika, returning runners-up who showed their gritty side by toughing out a far trickier qualification than either of the others. Co-hosts Kelssek, regular CE champions Tumbra, Felixe Vetiver and 10 Other People, and fellow class-of-73 Pemecutan are among the “dark horses” being tipped by Græntfjaller punters, while Turori, Audioslavia, Valanora, and Tikariot make up the “vantablack ponies” with slightly longer odds. But this is a World Cup where it’s not an exaggeration to suppose there are 32 teams with a decent shout of making it all the way. “Anything could happen,” said Kæja at her first press conference as captain.

“Even you and Sara making up?” asked one wag.

“Like I said,” she replied without missing a beat. “Almost anything could happen.”

Also in the paper:

NEWS: Candidates burn the midnight oil on final campaigning stop in unpredictable elections
BUSINESS: Procurement scandal at Ministry of Defense forces turn to Euran suppliers for new spy-plane
WORLD: Háttmark officially recognizes Yue annexation of Haiguaidian, completely coincidentally mentions feeling a “little light on lithium”
SPELLING: Græntfjaller orthography “completely nonsensical” according to International Committee for the Study of the Cabañas Effect
SPORTS: KG warns fans against chanting as eyes on good behavior for opening game

ENOUGH ABOUT CROSSROADS!!!!
Just tons of pictures of barely legal girls with big tits!!
And also an editorial in favor of financial deregulation

ND brings you the TOP stories today:

Immigrant crime bonanza
Page 3 sizzler Victoria says “I’d never date a lad who didn’t buy me flowers, hold the door, and staunchly support repealing the statutory percentage formula for margin requirements”
Teen G-pop star Malika Játvarðsdóttir visits beach, gets norks out: four-page spread!
WOKE TRANSGENDER MUSLIM NON-BINARY VEGAN FEMINIST REPARATIONS there’s no actual story here but just needed to get all those words in
Do lithium-shitting bats cause cancer?

by **Banija** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:25 pm

Focus turns to the World Cup Finals as Banija open against a big-time rival- Quebec

HATTMARK, GRAENTFALL- The quest to finish World Cup Qualifying with an unblemished 20-0-0 record was strong. And entertaining. And daring. We had some blowout wins. Some stunning, last second wins. And we were perfect away from home, recording a victory at the home stadium of every single group opponent, we started qualifying with 19 straight wins. Then, on the day of the final qualifier- we drew against Sargossa. Unbeaten? Yes. But a chance to be one of the few nations with a perfect Qualifying record, and we couldn't quite get there, finishing that final match with a draw. Still, not bad. 19 wins, a draw, and no losses- something to be proud of.

"Once you're at the World Cup, nobody cares what you did in Qualifying." Pam Scott told reporters after the fact. "It would have been an incredible record to get, 20-0-0. But we didn't get there, and that's OK. For nations like ours, legacies are built on what you do at the World Cup. And we are here, at the World Cup. We have a strong, talented team. We have the weight of expectation on our shoulders, being the defending champions. But this is a pressure that we embrace. We know what it means to put on that shirt, to represent your country. We're not shy about our goals here. But that starts today- against Quebec."

Nothing, of course, comes easy at the World Cup Finals. Despite being the defending champs and ranked #2 in the multiverse, we find ourselves in what is surely a group of death. First up, we'll face Quebec. A Commonwealth rival, they beat us in the group stages of World Cup 91, a crucial result in a World Cup that saw us on the first flight home after just the group stages. It's going to be a hell of a matchup. Two teams, big-time rivals, and with big communities in the other nation- especially a major Banijan community in Quebec.

This is going to be a group with lots of scoring. There are prolific goalscorers everywhere. Obviously, we are no slouches in that department ourselves- Abel Wesoloski-Okafor is a former Testiculo World Player of the Year, and the dude is a goalscoring machine. It's a matter of when, not if, he breaks the all-time Banijan goalscoring record. Quebec, of course, has always been a nation that loves to get forward. Stylistically, this is going to be a highly entertaining game for neutrals to get involved in. AWO, obviously, was born and raised in Quebec, and had the opportunity to play for them- but decided to play for Banija. So there's that subtext there, as well.

The dual-nationals making things interesting, right? But the group, even beyond today's matchup, is entertaining. Tikariot averaged nearly four goals per game in World Cup Qualifying, and that Rushmori nation will face us in the World Cup group stages this cycle. Rounded out by an up and coming Delte, there is expected to be lots of fireworks in this group of death. "Look, I'll be honest- this is about as brutal a group as it gets at the World Cup." Pam Scott told reporters. "Combining on the field talent with confidence, you have history, especially with Quebec, the teams are familiar with each other, and we have a target on our back as the champs... It's going to be a full effort to even try and get out of this group. All four teams have a chance- and whoever gets out of this group will be well-positioned to seriously make a deep run..."

Can Banija hold off Quebec, and open the tournament with a crucial three points in this group? Or will it be the Quebecois opening the tournament with an upset win, one enough to turn the group on its head and leave us with everything to play for on Matchday 2? We'll find out, very soon, in the capitol city of the White Winter Queendom!

by **Brookstation** » Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:50 pm

What the fuck?

That was the chief question under consideration. Firstly, Brookstation’s qualification to the World Cup had caused quite a stir in the country but it was explainable. It was bound to happen but it was still a shock. When something unexpected happens, it always comes as a shock. Anyways, the situation at home was great, people were enjoying themselves, and people were buckling up for something new, something which was worth the wait for the seventh cycle.

But things were not nearly the same in the team quarters. Liangde He had done it. He had done it, he had proved what he was made of, and he had successfully managed to write history. But he was afraid, afraid of the consequences he was about to face. His native nation, Naixi is a relatively new nation in the footballing world and the team which was under his supervision, had never been exposed to the World Cup ever before either so both ways, he was not an accomplished manager when it came to handling the biggest tournament in the multiverse. However, he needed to take a step. He couldn’t sit idle and wait for fate to come and disrupt the course of events yet once again.

“Boys, I hope you all are prepared for the World Cup.”

A loud sound echoed throughout the corridors as everybody agreed to each other in response to the question. He liked the positivity of the squad, that was crucial for the success of the team but no matter how much he tried to focus on the positive side of things, there was always the pessimistic thoughts which kept him occupied most of the time.
“That’s great but I hope you are aware of our group…”

“It is definitely hell but I think it might be fun to visit hell for once?”

Liangde gave it a thought. He had never thought of it in a different way. The only thoughts which kept bugging him were the thoughts of facing Tumbra on their very first matchday. It was perhaps the worst thing he could ever think of but he had to face it. But what if, hell was actually fun? What if hell was nothing but a test of his endurance. It might very well be.

“Yeah, I think you are correct. I think you make sense.”

“Yes sir, we would be glad to face Tumbra although we know that we wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Fuck off Nate, you said the same thing before facing Nyowani Kitara as well but then we all saw what happened, didn’t we ?”

“Had miracles occurred on a daily basis, I wouldn’t have been still searching for a partner online.”

“Ok boys, this is not the time to joke around. It’s a pretty serious issue that I am talking about here. If we want to stand the slightest chance in this tournament, we need to be quicker than our opponents or in other words, we have to understand their move before they implement it. I know it’s difficult or rather impossible but we have to do it, there’s no other alternative, is there?”

“With all due respect sir, you need to chill the fuck out. It’s Tumbra after all, how do you even expect us to win ?”

“We have lost the match before it even began, there’s nothing much that we can do about it, can we?”

“I read the news today. It said Virgos are gonna have the worst week of their lives. Now…is there any Virgo here?”

The entire squad looked at each other but no one raised their hand, there was a moment of silence and suspense…..until Liangde He slowly took his hand out of his pocket and waved it at the crowd in a clumsy manner. No one knew how to respond.

World Cup 94 [roleplays]

WCF-94 G1

Vilita World Cup 94 Playoff Review/ Preview - Sendhang Wormh

Thirty Years of Eleanorians: 1998

Thirty Years of Eleanorians: 1999

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