NSCF 28 - Everything Thread

by **South Newlandia** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 4:53 pm

EVU, NMU announce charity Sally Trophy baseball game

The Sally Trophy may be one of the most lopsided matchups in all of college football, with the Cougars having taking eight of nine so far, but both teams still take the rivalry seriously. The upcoming tenth Sally Trophy, played for in week 9 in Northern Moravica, will feature both teams raising money for charity with a special event. Next to college football, there is one more sport that the fans from both cities equally like - baseball. In fact, South Newlandia and Banija are the two teams with multiple WBC Championships in the 50s, including one each defeating each other. Mindful of this, the two schools are going to host an exhibition baseball game for charitable purposes. However, it will not be their respective baseball teams - instead, the college football teams will take the diamond.
The winner of this seven-inning exhibition game will be choosing a charity of their choice to receive all the proceeds from the game. The odds seem to slightly favour the Red Elephants to win, who will have one true star in the lineup - Wide Receiver RJ Hall. The multi-sport athlete is playing outfield for the college baseball Red Elephants, where he recently won the MVP and Big 14 championship, as well as already playing for the Ranorian Krauts, who recently made back-to-back WBC semifinal appearances (where they coincidentally lost to South Newlandia and Banija, respectively). However, the Banijan team and their determination as well as experience in beating on the Red Elephants specifically cannot be underestimated.
For the Red Elephants, Addo Uster has announced that the 24 starters (11 offense, 11 defense, K, P) will split the playing time, with seven different players pitching an inning each, while all the fielders (excluding the DH) will play half of the game.
While Addo Uster has never coached baseball above a middle school level, he will be the coach for the Red Elephants for seven innings; EVU alumni and former Elephant Fabio Ventura has agreed to make the trip to Banija in order to support the Red Elephants.

by **Chromatika** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 8:09 pm

Preview, Part 1
Preview, Part 2
Matchdays 1-3
Matchdays 4-5
Matchdays 6-8

Chromatik High School Gridiron - Season Eleven Matchdays 9-10, Part 1

Season 1 Champions: Central Heights High School (MVP: QB Harold Jieter)
Season 2 Champions: East Omnio High School (MVP: WR Alessandro Mio)
Season 3 Champions: Mt. Niar High School (MVP: QB Sarai Gwenderyn)
Season 4 Champions: Mt. Niar High School (MVP: QB Sarai Gwenderyn)
Season 5 Champions: Flames of the Revolution High School (MVP: RB Nyata Antonucci)
Season 6 Champions: Staramara Tech High School (MVP: Edge Nicole Manstrom)
Season 7 Champions: Franscesca Larriet-Cortes High School (MVP: QB Liara Anderson)
Season 8 Champions: Vitoron School of Charge (MVP: QB Anne-Maurice Vivayavich)
Season 9 Champions: Myana Northwestern High School Blue and White (MVP: QB Nicole Estera)
Season 10 Champions: Myana Northwestern High School Blue and White (MVP: CB Lisa Bonsoon)

Rainbow District

Diamond Conference

Matchday 9
Rainbow Central High School 20–19 Pelar High School
Lanar Central High School 27–36 Tears of the Revolution High School
Twin Cities High School 19–47 Lanar High School

Matchday 10
Pelar High School 20–17 Twin Cities High School
Lanar High School 30–3 Lanar Central High School
Tears of the Revolution High School 13–33 Rainbow Central High School

Diamond Conference                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Tears of the Revolution High School     10    7   3   267  204  +63
2 Rainbow Central High School             10    6   4   191  166  +25
3 Lanar Central High School               10    5   5   266  265   +1
4 Pelar High School                       10    4   6   177  227  −50
5 Lanar High School                       10    4   6   187  152  +35
6 Twin Cities High School                 10    4   6   208  282  −74

Diamond Conference Title Game: Rainbow Central High School @ Tears of the Revolution High School

Conference Summary: As expected, it's the Tears of the Revolution High School Saints taking first in the Conference, despite losing to Rainbow Central on the final day - which will ended up being a precursor to the title game. The Cavaliers needed that win to make sure that they stayed ahead of the Bikers. As for the Rhinos, a dismal showing from Junior Quarterback Inera Rhett did them in, as Rhett had fifteen interceptions on the season. The Rhinos' Sophomore Middle Linebacker Ivan Heer and Freshman Outside Linebacker Vance Jillian shined, but with absolutely no defense to speak of, they folded. Reevan Karlston did well in her Sophmore year for Pelar, and Twin Cities surprised everyone by winning four games. However, with Junior Quarterback Andrew Wiggins strutting his stuff, the Saints look great to make it to the Rainbow District Title Game.

Conference MVP: Tears of the Revolution High School Junior Quarterback Andrew Wiggins (3,631 yards, 38 touchdowns, 7 interceptions) - Starting to become more accurate to go with his rocket arm, Wiggins had a great season, throwing to the likes of Yara Mood and Kimberley Dread and spreading the love. Wiggins doesn't have too much experience in the grind that is the playoffs, though, so that will be the true test.

Conference Title Game Preview: Though the Saints have the better offense of the two, the Cavaliers have the momentum. Nobody expected them to be here - and it'll be an uphill climb to try to take down Tears of the Revolution once again. Andrew Wiggins will have to watch out for Senior Outside Linebacker Henri Jefferson, but with a raucous home crowd and a squad that knows the gravitas of the situation, the Saints should make it to the District Title Game.

Did You Know?: Sophomore Quarterback Reeva Karlston accounted for 96 of the 177 points scored by the Hurons, most of them coming through the air. They may have found a keeper to carry them back to relevance.

Pearl Conference

Matchday 9
Knetyohai City High School 10–33 Penat High School
North Sanar High School 20–15 Jerome A. Samuelson High School
South Sanar High School 43–29 Chromatik Army High School

Matchday 10
Penat High School 33–46 South Sanar High School
Chromatik Army High School 20–20 North Sanar High School (27–20 OT)
Jerome A. Samuelson High School 16–45 Knetyohai City High School

Pearl Conference                         Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 North Sanar High School                 10    7   3   306  194 +112 *
2 South Sanar High School                 10    7   3   252  243   +9 *
3 Penat High School                       10    5   5   257  282  −25
4 Chromatik Army High School              10    5   5   275  264  +11
5 Knetyohai City High School              10    4   6   227  288  −61
6 Jerome A. Samuelson High School         10    2   8   235  281  −46

*North Sanar High School ahead of South Sanar High School via H2H PD (+7) after H2H Result (1-1).

Pearl Conference Title Game: South Sanar High School @ North Sanar High School

Conference Summary: The Riflemen are quite good, aren't they? Led by Sophomore Quarterback Skyler Jazmin and Senior Wide Receiver Ned Pill, North Sanar averaged more than thirty points per game while having the best defense of the Conference, helped along by Junior Cornerback Larry Pinmichael. What was not expected, however, was just how far Jerome A. Samuelson fell down. Without a Quarterback to lead them, the Mimes only won two games - allowing for the rise of a returning contender: the South Sanar High School Armadillos. Sure, they also used no less than three Quarterbacks through the season, but enters the playoffs on a hot streak. Senior Running back William Brine is a man on a mission - and that is to bring the Armadillos back from the grave. Though the Understudy's Senior Quarterback Kandice Mott and Chromatik Army High School did their best - five wins isn't that bad - and the Peregrines somehow scrounged together four wins, it's the Armadillos and the Riflemen that will face each other for the third time this season.

Conference MVP: South Sanar High School Senior Running Back William Brine (1,419 yards, 19 touchdowns) - A battering ram of a running back, Brine ran all over the opposition this season, shouldering most of the load. The Armadillos had to hold onto the ball, and they did that - and they'll have to continue to do so if they are to go far.

Conference Title Game Preview: It's the Armadillos and the Riflemen. They hate each other - it's an intense rivalry, and the fact that the Riflemen are only hosting this due to Head to Head Point Differential isn't lost. The Armadillos will try to hold onto the ball, while the Riflemen can score very quickly. It'll be a great time of possession battle.

Did You Know?: Jerome A. Samuelson High School's collapse was so fast that the high school fired both of their coordinators by Matchday 8 of the season. The Mimes will have a lot of rebuilding to do if they are to return.

Mountain District

Mountain Guild Conference

Matchday 9
Randan High School 40–25 Z'ai'ai Central High School
Mt. Baker High School 24–50 Mt. Niar High School
Winter Heights High School 12–21 Jatho Agricultural High School

Matchday 10
Z'ai'ai Central High School 20–16 Winter Heights High School
Jatho Agricultural High School 34–21 Mt. Baker High School
Mt. Niar High School 17–23 Randan High School

Mountain Guild Conference                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Mt. Niar High School                    10    9   1   309  132 +177
2 Randan High School                      10    7   3   198  143  +55
3 Z'ai'ai Central High School             10    4   6   229  248  −19
4 Mt. Baker High School                   10    4   6   209  243  −34
5 Jatho Agricultural High School          10    4   6   124  248 −124
6 Winter Heights High School              10    2   8   149  204  −55

Mountain Guild Conference Title Game: Randan High School @ Mt. Niar High School

Conference Summary: Mt. Niar has only gone from strength to strength - Viktor Rowles being replaced by Dante Flowers. Flowers wasn't expected to have to do much, but the Sophomore has been lethal. It helps to have two great talents in Senior Tight End Jared Ittachi and Junior Wide Receiver Earl Silverman, but Flowers didn't take too long before he was using his mobility, as well. Senior Cornerback Kiyah Everstrum and Sophomore Defensive Tackle Roland Kyak had the team rolling, too, with only 13.2 points allowed in the season. Their only loss, though, was to the Randan High School Rapiers - who will end up being their opposition. The Rapiers' Junior Quarterback, Pavel Ingram, has long been earmarked for being great, but it was the Rapiers' defense that truly shined. Sophomore Strong Safety Rick Pynd showed up for them - as the rest of the conference fell apart. Not much to write about the rest of them - decent enough offenses, not great defenses, and Winter Heights really falling apart at the seams.

Conference MVP: Mt. Niar High School Senior Cornerback Kiyah Everstrum (42 tackles, 9 interceptions, 3 defensive touchdowns) - Everstrum is a rangy corner who's far better at breaking up passes than intercepting them, but reliable nonetheless. Flowers helped the offensive end, Everstrum the defensive one.

Conference Title Game Preview: The Rapiers were the first to beat the Anacondas, and that was just last week. Ingram was solid in the game with two touchdowns, but it was the Rapiers' ability to get to Flowers that gave them that particular match. Now, it's the rematch - and Flowers is rearing to go at them again. Mt. Niar remains one of the best programs in the country - they'll probably return.

Did You Know?: Willard Liana of the Jatho Agricultural High School Farmers was the best fullback prospect for four seasons. Many teams wanted him to move, but he stayed loyal to the end to study sustainable agriculture. He will be an interesting prospect for NSCF colleges in the next season.

Snowy Fields Conference

Matchday 9
Brisara Trade School 60–21 Ming School of Business
Umbar Hills High School 48–30 Dynasty High School
City of Umbar High School 23–3 Brisara Central High School

Matchday 10
Ming School of Business 27–10 City of Umbar High School
Brisara Central High School 43–39 Umbar Hills High School
Dynasty High School 24–26 Brisara Trade School

Snowy Fields Conference                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Brisara Trade School                    10    7   3   331  249  +82*
2 Umbar Hills High School                 10    7   3   325  233  +92*
3 Brisara Central High School             10    6   4   323  281  +42
4 City of Umbar High School               10    4   6   188  235  −47
5 Ming School of Business                 10    3   7   180  284 −104
6 Dynasty High School                     10    3   7   208  273  −65

*Brisara Trade School ahead of Umbar Hills High School via H2H PD (+4) after H2H Result (1-1).

Snowy Fields Conference Title Game: Umbar Hills High School @ Brisara Trade School

Conference Summary: It took back to back wins, but the Grizzlies made it from the depths. Sophomore Quarterback Ewan Pyrehamix came alive in the last few games, as the team averaged 32.5 points. Freshman Wide Receiver Hal Darst emerged as a great vertical option. Running the show most of the season long were the Businessmen of Brisara Trade School, Senior Running Back Tary McLauren using his speed while Freshman Quarterback Ciar Runst started to get things going. Ivan Nyer and Brisara Central made a good run at it - Nyer being one of the national leaders in terms of yards after catch - but they had the worst defense, which ended up being the difference. For the rest, Junior Outside Linebacker Jessika Kyle really shined for Ming School of Business, but notenough to turn around the team's fortunes.

Conference MVP: Brisara Trade School Senior Running Back Tary McLauren (1,521 yards, 17 touchdowns) - McLauren was a workhorse for the entire conference season, using both speed and size to dominate his foes.

Conference Title Game Preview: Businessmen. Grizzlies. Third time around, with the last two ending in a win apiece. Two great offenses - and two suspect defenses. This will be a battle.

Did You Know?: Jessika Kyle will be a hot commodity in the next season. The Junior Outside Linebacker has expressed interest to leave, and the Traders really have nothing to entice her to stay.

by **Nagarythe** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 8:14 pm

If the elven gods had blessed Atheron with strength, then the blade had made him all but invincible with its raw, magnificent power. Where Atheron strode, the soldiers of the demonic hordes fell in droves. To whatever front of battle that Atheron therafter took charge of, victory was inevitable with this mighty new weapon, such was the might that it had and he held along with it. There was however the issue that he was but one man, he could not be everywhere at all times and those his presence now assured victory wherever he went, the war was still being lost at those places where he was not. Day by day his followers and those who would support his war effort would shrink while each passing day the ranks of the enemy were renewed regardless of the amount that Atheron manage to slay. While the demons and their commanders now trembled at his approach, knowing that he possessed the ultimate weapon that even their gods seemed to fear, Atheron could not win the war on his own, the world still needed saving.

As his victories grew, more and more of the elves who had been embattled with the enemy flocked to his banner, trying to create a force of strength against the rising tides of darkness. Traveling to the northwest of Althion, Atheron settled the lands of Nagarythe once more and looked to reestablish the kingdom that once stood there but had fallen into ruin. Surprising nearly all of his followers and friends, Atheron took another wife during a respite between points of major conflict, a woman name Morgath whom he had rescued from a band of demon worshippers. They would soon have a soon, Malathar, whose fate would stand out amongst all of the elves of Althion. Morgath would bring a sense of wildness to Atheron's court, with odd displays of amusement and desperate appearing sense of excitement that unnerved visitors to the court during the trying times. She had odd habits and strange handmaidens, earning her and the court a bit of a dark reputation. The rest of the elves began to feel reluctant to travel there, despite Atheron's fame and glory.

Unrest began to creep throughout Nagarythe at the unease of Morgath and her son, with some begging Atheron to set her aside and find a wife that was more suitable and not so peculiar with the tastes and habits. The High King would not hear of hit and it brought forth a wrath against his own people that had not been seen before. That wrath turned into a merciless treatment of dissenters and would be upstarts within the kingdom, with even some of Atheron's most fervent supporters wondering why the king was being so heavy handed with any sort of dissent. The treatment did have the desired effect of calming those who were dissenting but instead brought forth even more unease and shaking the fragile foundations upon which the reestablished kingdom was sitting upon.

Kelembor could not bare witness to the change in his old friend any longer and headed south with his dragon and dragon riders, as he sensed more evil growing across the continent. Kelembor had seen the war that was raging within Atheron himself, as the honorable and upright side was at odds with this new version of his friend. So lost in his growing despair and madness, Atheron decried the departure of Kelembor and the dragon riders as a betrayal against him and swore he would seek vengeance at the expense of their prince. Vowing to seek justice against Kelembor showed how far and how quickly the once honorable elf had fallen and how his mind was starting to crack under the influence of the blade. Before Kelembor had departed, he had begged his friend to return the sword to the shrine as they had made some headway against the demons that had allowed them this time to reestablish the old kingdom and even make the attempts at a new family. Atheron had not heeded Kelembor's last plead and he would pay dearly for the inability to part with the sword.

by **Valanora** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 8:38 pm

If all the world is a stage and that we are merely the players in that play, then whoever made the script for the past weekend's results is a fan of horror comedy it seems. It was a week where nearly every single favorite in their game found a way to slip up against teams that they were supposed to be beating, particularly on the road. Unfortunately for the Raiders of Mar Sara Tech, they were not among those few in the script to be able to win against the odds, despite playing at home, where they have been nearly impossible to contend with much less be beaten in the last three seasons of the competition when they entered. Yet the current holders of the Zephyr conference title came into Mar Sara and escaped with a win that suddenly makes the Celestial Division of the Zephyr a contest again, with the Rockets of Raynor only a game behind and still to play the Raiders in Raynor City in the second edition of the Battle for the Royal Saber this season. Additionally Bowerstone University has pulled off a few wins and now is only two games back and will be hoping to capitalize on the fact the two Vanorian schools have to play each other again.

For the Rockets, they will be believing that they are righting the ship after putting up over a hundred points combined in the last two games of the cross divisional play, really signifying the difference in quality between the best of the conference and the rest of it. To be completely fair to the Rockets however, they do boast one of the most impressive wide receiving corps ever put together at the same time and it is quite easy to recognize why the Rockets are capable of scoring on any given play with the quality that they have in their skill positions. The defense has heavy relied on a bend but do not break mentality which can be a bit dangerous, but it was the same sort of mentality that the team was able to ride a few seasons past to fifteen straight victories and an NSCF championship. Clearly the team has almost perfected the ability to play on that edge, putting up the stops when it is absolutely required of them, while the offense is able to light up the scoreboard with the very best that the NSCF has to offer, the Raiders included in that with their own explosive offense this season.

What is certain now going forward that whoever does end up getting the edge in the Celestial and being the representative will be facing off against the University of Mancodas, as their close victory over the Raiders secured their division. It could be fair to say that the Legends division is extremely weak compared to the celestial, by virtue of three teams in the celestial currently having winning records while only one in the legends. Yet the Mammoths have defeated all of the celestial division teams and are the current conference title holders, a right that they have until that championship game is played and if someone is then able to beat them. Both Vanorian schools are not likely going to take the loss lying down but they have to earn their right to play in that game, while also beginning to cast a wider view towards the recruiting battles that are no doubt about to really take focus. Both teams will want to try and keep the best Vanorian talent in the Empire, but we have seen in the past that few different teams have been able to establish a small foothold in the Empire and grab some of the best recruits.

by **Cardenao** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 9:12 pm

Steve Valentine slammed his fist into his palm.

“We need to have guts boys, you need to believe in yourselves and go get the glory that’s out there for you! It’s all out there for you, are you going to go get it?” The BSU Broncos head coach asked as he looked around the room at various different members of his football team before his eyes fell on Bobby Dials, his 19 year old dual-threat quarterback sensation.

“Which one of you is going to step up and lead your brothers to the big dance, we’re not out, not by a long shot. Y’all proved you’ve got some cojones the way you’ve been playing, even in a big loss you still play with pride and go out to win the game. I respect that, your fans respect that, your country respects that. Shit, it pays off doesn’t it? Y’all didn’t stop fighting until the last second against Eastern Ploska University and pulled off the comeback story to win the game. That’s the energy you need, that’s the heart we need if we’re going to beat BYU and keep moving forward this season and–” Steve paused mid sentence, hearing the sound of a helicopter growing louder and louder.

“You’ve got the opportunity of your life ahead of you tomorrow, the opportunity to defeat BYU and forge your own destiny. We beat them once, we can beat them again but understand how things are different now. That match was a long time ago, that was week one, and since then they’ve done what we wanted to do, alright? They beat Cold Hill, not us, they broke 200, 300 points, not us, they sit atop the Division, not us.”

The helicopter was getting louder now, so loud that Steve Valentine had to raise his voice even more.

“We need to win boys, don’t hide from that. So to help you understand what winning means, I’ve brought you a winner. Let’s head out to the quad, we’ve got a visitor.” The football team and coaching staff got up with curiosity and started to file out of the team’s meeting room and onto the grassy common area that students used to navigate from one end of the campus to another.

The players and those students out on the quad were shocked to see a blue and white helicopter carefully descending out of the sky to land directly on the quad. To make things even more confusingly interesting, there were also two seemingly randomly placed blue and white golf carts with well-dressed drivers sitting attentively and a ferocious and expensive looking blue and white sports car parked at the edge of the patch of grass the helicopter had now touched down on, with its rotor starting to power down.

All of a sudden, what seemed to be smoke started billowing from the undercarriage of the helicopter, causing some of the players to yell out “that shit is on fire!” however the pilot and golf cart drivers seemed either oblivious or not to care at all. More smoke furled up and, just as the players were about to sprint to the helicopter to help fight the fires, the passenger bay side-door was flung open. With a mechanic whirrring noise, a ramp slowly extended and touched down to the grass. All present peered into the dark bay obscured by smoke, hoping to get a glimpse of whoever or whatever was inside. They didn’t have to wait long.

Two extremely blonde, extremely attractive, and extremely scantily clad women dressed in what one could only guess was a cheerleading outfit with the minimal amount of cloth legally required, came jumping out of the helicopter. The two had, of course, blue and white pom-poms and were busy pom-poming and cheerleading.

“Gentlemen and ladiessss, put your hands together!!! Let me hear some noise!!!” Thing one said.

“C’mon now, put yourrrrr hands tooooogether!!!!!!” Thing two squealed out.

Nobody did.

“WOOOOO!!!!” The two of them cheered out.

Bobby Dials looked over his shoulder back at his coach Steve Valentine. “What the fuck is going on??” he silently mouthed. Steve didn’t respond, but his eyes said enough. He was just as confused as Bobby was, but that train of thought was slammed to a halt.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP BSU YOU SORRY ASS SCHOOL!!!!” came roaring from a deep voice as a very tall, fit and gaudily dressed middle-aged man stepped out of the darkness and into the beautiful Cardenaoan sunshine.

“DAMN this place SUCKS, good thing I’M here to make it BETTER!” The man with an impossibly loud voice boomed again, flashing an obscenely bright white smile to an increasingly growing crowd.

“I heard there’s a SORRY SACK of BOYS who think they be MEN, tryna win a GAME of FOOTBALL OR TWO. WELL, now you got ME,” the mysterious stranger threw out as he reached the bottom of the ramp. Taking great care not to step on the grass and tarnish his expensive looking sneakers, the man gingerly stepped into the passenger side of the first golf cart, though he did not sit down. No, this increasingly entertaining character stood tall and hung himself halfway out of the golf cart. The cart started moving, slowly driving to the driver’s side of the sports car with the man speaking again.

“Y’ALL tryna WIN but YOU ain’t know how to WIN. Imma SHOW you how to win, how to be a WINNER, be a PLAYER. I know a thing or two about WINNING,” he said as the cart reached the sports car. The driver of the cart got out and ran around to the driver’s door of the sports car and opened it before running back to the cart. With a great deal of precision he repositioned the cart so his passenger was able to step into the sports car without having to touch the ground.

“YOU SEE, I KNOW how to play FOOTBALL, I know how to WIN because I AM A WINNER,” the man said, flashing another blinding smile before slamming the door closed and punching the acceleration. The engine snarled as the car chewed up the grass on the quad, sending it shooting into the air as the car sped off……for about 50 yards until it reached the next golf cart. There, the routine was repeated, with the driver carefully positioning his cart so the man in the sports car could get onto it without having to touch the ground.

“ALL Y’ALL FOOTBALL PLAYERS, follow me now I got some STRATs to lay on you,” he said as the golf cart slowly rolled to the team’s meeting room. Unsure of what was really happening, the BSU Broncos football team looked to their head coach for guidance, with Steve Valentine nodding that they should follow this stranger and make their way back towards the building, where a blue and white carpet had been laid down. Before the golf cart could come to a complete stop, the man bounded off it onto the special carpet before turning with outstretched arms to face his audience. ‘Damn, that’s a fucktown of gold chains and jewelry,’ Bobby Dials noticed ‘Dude is a baller for sure.’

“MY NAME…is ISAKA JAWARA,” the man said, pausing for dramatic effect. ‘Ohhhhh shit!!!!’ Bobby thought. “YES ISAKA JAWARA and I am the GREATEST to ever play the game for Banija.”

With his credibility instantly established, what college player hadn’t heard of the legendary quarterback voted 3rd greatest Banijan athlete of all time, the Bronco players quickly surrounded Isaka and followed him into the building as the Banijan listed off his many accomplishments.

“YEAH I wouldn’t say I PLAYED the game as much as I WON THAT SHIT. NSCF 17, yeah that was the WARMUP. Domestic league? Yeah I RAN that SHIT. Yessir with MY ABILITY and TRUSTING COACH’S gameplan, yeah I WON that SHIT not once, not twice, not three times but FOUR TIMES. FOUR MVPs TOO, what the hell have YOU done, what has BSU DONE??”

Nobody was able to answer, the room was too busy trying to process what exactly was happening as Isaka Jawara reached the end of the blue and white carpet. He snapped his fingers and an assistant appeared out of nowhere with a large piece of football turf which was then carefully placed down before Isaka stepped on it, taking a deep breath in.

“You see this turf? This is from my Champion’s Bowl VICTORY where I WON. I keep some with me WHEREVER I go so I can SEE and SMELL MY AWESOMENESS, my ABILITY to WIN.” Isaka looked around the room.

“I see a lot of boys here, BOYs who want to be and CAN BE MEN. Yeah you can be LIKE ME. Yeah I can be LOUD, I can be PROUD, but there’s a REASON for that. I won that for MYSELF, and you can win it for YOU.

Now look boyos, I’ve seen your record, I’ve seen how you play. I’m IMPRESSED. I’m NOT IMPRESSED. Y’all are all over the place but there’s a bigger issue, I KNOW Y’ALL DON’T THINK YOU’RE WINNERS.” Isaka threw his eyes around the room, daring anyone to challenge him.

“I smell that shit like a SHARK smells BLOOD and I guarantee you in your next game against YBU…”

“BYU,” Steve Valentine called out in correction, only for Isaka to totally ignore him.

“That they’ll smell that FEAR on YOU. Them boys walking around like MEN, them boys whipped up COLD HILL who WAXED your sorry asses, them boys got the eyes of the world looking at them, what the HELL do Y’ALL GOT?”

“I’ll tell you WHAT. You got VICTORY, y’all beat them boys earlier this season and y’all’ve only GROWN since then as MEN and PLAYERS. But ay, I ain’t HERE to TEACH you how to play football, y’all know how to ball, I’ve SEEN it.

But I am here to SHOW you what WINNING LOOKs like, what being a REAL CHAMPION means. I walk it like I talk it, I PLAY the way I LIVE. And I won. I WON by being me. Now you win by being YOU.”

“Ay Steve,” Isaka abruptly called out to the Broncos head coach, “Ay STEVE I know I said I’d be here for the FULL day but…I got some SHIT to do so I’m gonna dip out NOW.”

“Wha–what??” was all that Steve could muster in response, this guy had been expensive to book!

“But ay before I go WIN again, lemme ask y’all a question and I NEED you to THINK about this,” Isaka said as he faced the full football team.

“ARE you a DIFFERENT animal but the SAME beast?”

The sound of silence filled the room as the players pondered this question before Bobby Dials spoke up.

“What…what the fuck does that mean Isaka?”

The Banijan athlete extraordinaire looked Bobby in the eyes without saying a word for several seconds that felt like an eternity before nodding once.

“You’re welcome,” Isaka said as he stepped back onto the blue and white carpet. “You’re all welcome.”

“What the fuck is he talking about??” many of the players were asking.

“I don’t know but it’s provocative, it gets the people going!” was the nature of response as the footballers filled out of the room and followed Isaka Jawara as he retraced his steps to his helicopter, golf carts and all included. When the football legend got back in the helicopter, Bobby realized he hadn’t actually stepped foot on Cardenao soil. ‘What a badass,’ he thought to himself.

As the helicopter started it’s engine up, the Banijan footballing legend leaned out and yelled one final bit to the BSU Broncos football team.

“AY I BELIEVE in Y’ALL. Don’t FUCK it up!” And with that rousing speech, football legend Isaka Jawara lifted off and disappeared into the blue skies.

Total silence fell upon the quad as the various players, coaches, students, and professors present tried to make sense of what they had just experienced.

Steve Valentine wasn’t sure what message had been sent to his players but he honestly didn’t care as long as they walked away with a victory.

by **Banija** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:03 pm

Horizon Conference

Matchday 8

It's gonna be me doing the 8th cutoff of this tournament

Starlight Division
Cavsar University Gladiators (DRK) 20–58 Staramara Tech Lava (CMT)
Felswyr State University Firehawks (CMT) 32–17 Sadeg State University Skyhawks (DRK)

Starlight Division                                             Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Felswyr State University Firehawks (CMT)                       8    7   1   220  150  +70
2 Staramara Tech Lava (CMT)                                      8    5   3   234  151  +83
3 Sadeg State University Skyhawks (DRK)                          8    4   4   205  194  +11
4 Cavsar University Gladiators (DRK)                             8    2   6   205  265  −60

Equinox Division
Flosfores-Sea Catarina University Stallions (UVA) 27–34 University of Frisdrank Bulls (NTR)
Frontier Mechanical & Technical University Roughnecks (SAS) 14–34 Elanardris Shadow Walkers (NAG)

Equinox Division                                                Pld   W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Elanardris Shadow Walkers (NAG)                                8    6   2   254  170  +84
2 University of Frisdrank Bulls (NTR)                            8    5   3   221  212   +9
3 Frontier Mechanical & Technical University Roughnecks (SAS)    8    3   5   125  164  −39
4 Flosfores-Sea Catarina University Stallions (UVA)              8    0   8   113  271 −158

by **Drawkland** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:04 pm

Big Eight & Woodlands
Week 8

Going back to the in-division play, it's time for the home stretch!

BIG EIGHT
Eastern Ploska University 23–39 Cold Hill University
Richardson University 30–20 Ironpeak Institute of Athletics
Bingham Young University 29–21 LeBois Santura University
New Cardonia State 44–12 University of Kiyokonai

# Everless Division                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cold Hill University               8    7   1   288  149 +139
2 Richardson University              8    7   1   199   86 +113
3 Ironpeak Institute of Athletics    8    1   7   160  317 −157
4 Eastern Ploska University          8    0   8   168  313 −145


# Evermore Division                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Bingham Young University           8    6   2   329  217 +112
2 New Cardonia State                 8    4   4   213  190  +23
3 LeBois Santura University          8    4   4   216  243  −27
4 University of Kiyokonai            8    3   5   159  217  −58

WOODLANDS
The Terrestrial Acclimation Academy 3–23 N&N Palæontological-Centred Research University
Koronki University of Technology and Computing 51–10 The Academy of Space
Crown's College 24–29 Université St. Croix
Université du Saguenay 27–0 Crimson Royal University

# Cosmos Division                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Koronki University of Technology and Computing     8    6   2   252  128 +124   Clinched Division Title
2 N&N Palæontological-Centred Research University    8    3   5   112  172  −60
3 The Terrestrial Acclimation Academy                8    2   6    93  219 −126
4 The Academy of Space                               8    1   7   112  227 −115


# Leaders Division                                 Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Université St. Croix                               8    7   1   208   58 +150
2 Université du Saguenay                             8    7   1   197  131  +66
4 Crown's College                                    8    3   5   213  181  +32
5 Crimson Royal University                           8    3   5    93  164  −71

by **PotatoFarmers** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:28 pm

Poafmer Times
NSCF28: And there were one
Mancodas - University of Mancodas became the only team left unbeaten following Matchday 7, with a stunning 44-41 victory at Mar Sara Tech enough to secure the divisional title as well as keep a 7-game winning streak going heading into the second run of the intra-divisional round robin.

In what was a thriller between both teams, the Mammoths and Raiders displayed fluent attacking capabilities across the entire game, taking turns to score points as the board flipped between both sides. But it was Quarterback John-James Mcknight who once again stole the limelight, with the winning touchdown at the tail end of the match enough to bring the Mammoths ahead and clinch their 7th win of the season. With Maximus Rochester Institute Gijikyhandasari Yeriaqhospifasas (let's just call them a Bird, for simplicity sake, okay?) failing to win their game in Raynor, that meant that UoM will be the first team across the entire of NSCF to qualify for the conference title game, to be held around a month later.

Players interviewed after the match felt that the credit has to be given to Head Coach Livia Smit and the entire coaching team, who did a lot to help the team review their playstyle and improve their game. "Livia was a fatherly figure who spent days trying to review opponent videos, figure out their playstyle, and check how their opponents managed to defeat the team. Against teams who are as aggressive with ourselves, we just had to be more careful with our defence, and pressure them into making mistakes so we cna get in more points," said tight end Taina Bunoarroti, who is considered as the captain of the team. "Compared to last few years, I guess our team structure as a whole as became more mature. The coaches have more experience from what they have seen, and most of us seniors have followed team for 3-4 years now, so we are all aware of the playstyle in NSCF and how we should improve our game." Such sentiments were echoed by Idun Biagi, the right defensive end for the team. "I have been here since my freshman year, and as I enter my graduating year, I think my skills have grown a lot over the past 3 years or so. And I have to thank the coaches for putting in lots of effort - they are willing to spend extra time to stay back with us during training days to practice certain things, and we also get video reviews of our opponents' playstyle and games on weekdays so that we can better understand who we are playing against. This way of coaching has worked well for us, and we are definitely in a better shape than before."

University of Mancodas' victory came on the back of a crazy Saturday in the NSCF, where all of the big teams fell to shock defeats at the hands of less-talented opponents on paper. In Horizon Conference, Chromatika's Felswyr State University Firehawks ended their 6-game winning streak this season with an 6-20 away loss to Nagarythe's Elanrdris Shadow Walkers, while both Drawkland teams fell to opponents from the opposing Equinox Division as well. In the Big Eight, Ranoria's Cold Hill University couldn't stand their feat against Bingham Young University and ended their winning streak, while both TJUN-ian universities suffered surprise losses against opponents for Gran Saguaro in the Mineral Conference. With that, University of Mancodas will aim to be the only team unbeaten in the conference matches, though a tricky tie against Maximus Rochester Institute on the final matchday might prove to be the toughest off them all, given how much the Mammoths' rivals will put in for their chance at the Kimibatoam Bowl.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:47 pm

Celestia & Zephyr

Week 8

Savannah Division
Elephant Valley University Red Elephants (SNL) 26–26 University of Loyola-Istria Blue Thunder (BNJ) (32–29 OT)
Northern Moravica University Cougars (BNJ) 57–25 Ratzupalfu University of Nature Egrets (SNL)

# Savannah Division                               Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
1 Northern Moravica University Cougars (BNJ)        8    7   1   257  128 +129
3 Ratzupalfu University of Nature Egrets (SNL)      8    5   3   269  199  +70
4 Elephant Valley University Red Elephants (SNL)    8    4   4   183  190   −7
5 University of Loyola-Istria Blue Thunder (BNJ)    8    4   4   213  209   +4

Sequoia Division
Upper Westside University Red Pandas (STK) 29–7 Universidade de Soria Bats (LIS)
Hankow State University Honey Badgers (UVI) 51–20 Royal Navy Academy Mariners (NAS)

# Sequoia Division                                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
2 Upper Westside University Red Pandas (STK)        8    7   1   301  188 +113
6 Hankow State University Honey Badgers (UVI)       8    4   4   216  177  +39
7 Royal Navy Academy Mariners (NAS)                 8    1   7   145  318 −173
8 Universidade de Soria Bats (LIS)                  8    0   8   104  279 −175

Legends Division
Thereisnogodistan Community College Atheists (NGD) 20–34 Maximus Rochester Institute Gijikyhandasari Yeraiqhospifasas (PFA)
University of Mancodas Mammoths (PFA) 20–7 Ceneisis Naval Academy Ensigns (AFT)

# Legends Division                                                    Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 University of Mancodas Mammoths (PFA)                                 8    8   0   275  162 +113
5 Maximus Rochester Institute Gijikyhandasari Yeraiqhospifasas (PFA)    8    4   4   167  151  +16
6 Ceneisis Naval Academy Ensigns (AFT)                                  8    2   6   213  283  −70
7 Thereisnogodistan Community College Atheists (NGD)                    8    1   7   161  271 −110

Celestial Division
Raynor University Rockets (VAL) 36–14 Bowerstone University Bobcats (ATH)
University of Lacragos Ebony Knights (EVI) 30–67 Mar Sara Tech Raiders (VAL)

# Celestial Division                                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
2 Mar Sara Tech Raiders (VAL)                                           8    7   1   361  176 +185
3 Raynor University Rockets (VAL)                                       8    6   2   313  187 +126
4 Bowerstone University Bobcats (ATH)                                   8    4   4   227  223   +4
8 University of Lacragos Ebony Knights (EVI)                            8    0   8   114  378 −264

by **PotatoFarmers** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 11:34 pm

Mineral Conference

Matchday 8

And the final countdown begins!

Hearthland Division
University of the Commonwealth of Baker Park Warriors (CBP) 23–17 Trent State University Feathercaps (TJU)
Green City University Royal Eagles (TJU) 53–3 Mount Winston University Diamond Hogs (GEM)

# Heartland Division                                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Green City University Royal Eagles                                8    6   2   281  149 +132
2 Trent State University Feathercaps                                8    5   3   209  170  +39
3 University of the Commonwealth of Baker Park Warriors             8    4   4   177  227  −50
4 Mount Winston University Diamond Hogs                             8    1   7   113  329 −216

Boreal Division
Las Ventosas de Universidad Pública Reserva Cui-ui (SGU) 10–44 University of Alexandroupolis Redbirds (NGS)
Constantinople University Binturongs (NGS) 3–10 Universidad Politécnica Autónoma del Metro-Boca Rana Zorrillos (SGU)

# Boreal Divsion                                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Universidad Politécnica Autónoma del Metro-Boca Rana Zorrillos    8    6   2   255  100 +155
2 University of Alexandroupolis Redbirds                            8    5   3   165  139  +26
3 Las Ventosas de Universidad Pública Reserva Cui-ui                8    3   5   222  240  −18
4 Constantinople University Binturongs                              8    2   6   162  230  −68

by **Gran Saguaro** » Fri Mar 17, 2023 6:55 am

U.P.A.M.'s Finest News Source™ | 10 Pesos | Sports • Around Campus • World News • Opinion • Arts & Culture • Letters • Editorials • Ask Zorro • Cartoons

ASK ZORRO
Our signature skunk has been busy lately, cheering on UPAM gridiron — the newcomers are now LEADING the Mineral conference after a dominant win against the pre-season favorites, and a follow-up whupping of our divisional rivals. Nevertheless, he still has some time to take a few letters from the UPAM community.
---

Dear Zorro: How do you clean your fur? Me and some of my frat brothers adopted a skunk we found by the highway, and he stinks like crazy, but hates the shampoo we try to give him. I even tried dish soap, which he drank. We're at the end of our rope — what can we do?

- Lucas G. '24, ΧΔΘ

Dear Lucas,

Er...I use mint-lemon Don Juan store brand shampoo. But that doesn't work for all skunks...and neither does captivity...so I encourage you to maybe consider giving your pet skunk to the Zoology department, they will be able to care for him plenty well and I've heard they're looking for ways to stock the zoo they're building.

Dear Zorro: Just between you and me, who's the hottest player on the gridiron team? You've spent a lot of time with them, so I'm sure you know.

- Sonia A. '26

Dear Sonia,

César Del Rey.

Dear Zorro: What is your major? I've never seen you in class, but you're not listed as faculty or staff so you must be a student, right? You've been at this school for too long to be undecided, so you've gotta be declared. I speak for lots of curious students when asking this question.

- Paula R. '25

Dear Paula,

Geology. I plan to go into petroleum extraction. My minor is Classical Literature, which is my passion when I'm not cheering on a UPAM sports team.

Dear Zorro: Be honest, do you like Gridiron or Basketball more? You go to games for both and seem equally cheerful, but I know that's a facade. My friend thinks it's basketball.

- Victor V. '26

Dear Victor,

I'm not allowed to confirm or deny what your friend says. Both sports are equally fun in different ways. And frankly, I also like to watch shot-put, which is a sport no one ever seems to talk about.

Dear Zorro: Are you allowed to bet on games? You don't technically have any influence on the outcome of the match, so maybe the rules are different for you than they would be for a player or coach. That said, if you are, I need some advice for the Constantinople game, because I bet all my roommate's textbooks that we would lose the game this week and I'm in the hole right now. Obviously please don't put your reply in this column or else everyone will see. Email jdcortes@upam.edu. Thanks.

- Jay C. '25

Dear Jay,

Betting your roommate's textbooks is irresponsible. I personally do not ever bet on anything because I understand the inherent risks with that kind of recreation.

P.S. — ˙ɹǝʍoʇ sɹouoɥ ʎq ǝǝɹʇ ƃıq ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝpun ʞɔoɹ ɐ oʇ pǝdɐʇ ǝƃɐssǝɯ ɐ ɹoɟ ʞool oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʎɐɯ noʎ ˙ɯǝɥʇ ʇsnɹʇ ʇ,uop ı ˙pǝsıʌɹǝdns ǝɹɐ slıɐɯǝ ǝɥʇ

Dear Zorro: I am wondering where your human actors have been. A certain "Zorro" actor has been missing from my Psychology 203 class for days.

- Dr. Navarro,
Psychology Department

Dear Dr. Navarro,

Being Zorro is a very demanding job. Plus, I really am a real skunk.

Send questions to zorro@grapevine.upam.edu or drop them in the mailbox in Dr. Arriaga's classroom, Trujillo 1204

by **Banija** » Fri Mar 17, 2023 7:59 am

First Round of the Playoffs

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPTIOL REGION- Our 8 first round playoff games- all on campus!

ROUND OF 16
Wild Valley University Golden Hornets 42–17 South Kitara University Sea Lions
Kabakono University Night Owls 31–21 Bunyoro A&M Waterbucks
Lesedi University Rhinos 28–3 University of Hangaza Gazelle
Islamic University of Busoga Caracals 38–20 Mamari University Sand Spiders
University of Aksum Silverbacks 31–37 Aksum State Stars
Kizza I College Cubs 45–12 Tree of Life University Okapi
Hangaza Tech River Rats 49–22 University of Buganda Long-Tailed Lizards
Zakuta State University Crocodiles 34–19 Heshima & Usian University Guardian Angels

We'll section these off by timeslot. 7 games on Saturday, 1 on Friday night.

Friday Night Game

Hangaza Tech River Rats 49–22 University of Buganda Long-Tailed Lizards

First, for the Friday night game! The #7 v. #10 matchup was expected to be much closer, but instead, it was a blowout- the River Rats absolutely took the University of Buganda to the cleaners, as the Long-Tailed Lizards never really got going. The River Rats HB, Tamba Secka, had an absolutely massive day- scoring three touchdowns himself, as the offense could do no wrong for basically the first three quarters. It was one of those rare games where the offense was able to do truly whatever they wanted- a 250-250 game- where they have both 250 yards rushing, and 250 yards passing, as a team.

Overall, a fantastic game for the River Rats. What a way to start your weekend- winning a playoff game by 30. Can't go wrong with that, right? They were up 49-7 at the end of three quarters, showing the extent of their dominance. The Long-Tailed Lizards scored a couple of garbage time TDs in the fourth quarter(including a 2PC), but really, the Long-Tailed Lizards were not good enough to hang with Tech. Jelan Ozoemena's alma mater moves on!

Saturday Noon Kickoff

Wild Valley University Golden Hornets 42–17 South Kitara University Sea Lions
Kizza I College Cubs 45–12 Tree of Life University Okapi
Lesedi University Rhinos 28–3 University of Hangaza Gazelle

The early kick! Three games scheduled for the noon slot. The #1, #3, and #4 seeds, the first two heavily favored, all kicking off at right around the same time. And all three earned blowout wins for themselves, making statements of intent.

National Player of the Year award will be announced championship weekend. And it's a regular season award, of course- the votes are already in. But Baka Weko is really showing off his diverse skillset here. Against the Sea Lions, he was simply dominant. He could throw the ball, run the ball, do whatever he wanted against an overmatched South Kitara U team. It wasn't quite the Friday night matchup, of course. This game was legitimately close at halftime- it was a 14-14 ballgame. Anybody's. And yet- the Golden Hornets pulled away. When Weko really gets going, he's nearly impossible to stop- that's why he's the odds on favorite for NPOY. Three TD passes in the third quarter- including two 70+ yard TD passes on the first play of the drive.

Nobody can compete with that. He can sustain a drive- showed in the exact same quarter, when he converted four different third downs successfully, including a third and goal, to score a touchdown. The Sea Lions only managed a field goal in the third quarter. So, 14-14 after a half- and yet, it was 35-17 after the third quarter. The Golden Hornets backup QB would throw a TD in the fourth quarter to give us our final score.

At this time, we also had Kizza I College v. The Tree of Life. Tree of Life, of course, the champion of a conference consisting entirely of teams that were D2 until this very season. Ergo, against the bluest of blue bloods in Kizza I College, this had the highest point spread of the weekend- the Cubs were 24.5 point favorites. And they beat that, earning a 33 point victory. It was never going to be much of a contest, so nothing was surprising here. Nantambu had 4 passing TDs in the win. Tree of Life had two first half field goals, and a fourth quarter TD where they failed the 2PC. Not much to add here- the favorites won, running away, and covered the spread. Good teams win, great teams cover- right?

Lastly, we had Lesedi University against the University of Hangaza. What a season they've had, right? Their defense was dominant from start to finish- only allowing a field goal in a 28-3 victory. The Rhinos offense took time to get going- the Rhinos first points weren't until 2 minutes left in the first half, when they blocked a punt and recovered it in the end zone for a TD. The defense, in the third quarter, also returned a pick to the Gazelle three yard line. U of H finished the season with a whimper- third straight loss. But Lesedi really riding high. They actually put together decent drives at the end of the game, with two fourth quarter TDs on the ground. 28-3- this is a team who's never won a national title. Is this, unexpectedly, their year?

Saturday 3:30 Kickoff

Islamic University of Busoga Caracals 38–20 Mamari University Sand Spiders
Kabakono University Night Owls 31–21 Bunyoro A&M Waterbucks

Off to the 3:30 time slot! Two games here- the Islamic University hosting Mamari, we have the 8v9 matchup here- Kabakono U playing host to Bunyoro A&M. First, the Caracals impressed against Mamari University. They're a tough team to keep up with, especially when they are scoring touchdowns, and you are just scoring field goals. Look at the first half spread. Caracals scored three touchdowns- the Sand Spiders, just two field goals. Could have been 21-14- instead, it was only 21-6. It put the Sand Spiders into chase mode, where they are not at their most comfortable- and it showed.

When the second half came, the Sand Spiders would chase- but not quite like they wanted to. They were able to score a TD early on in the third quarter, to make it 21-13, just a one possession game- but that's as close as they were able to make it. The Caracals were able to convert a field goal themselves, that made it 24-13, and that was the score headed into the fourth quarter. The Sand Spiders made a crucial mistake- when driving to try and make it a one possesion game again. They threw a crucial interception, and the Caracals scored a TD on the ensuing drive to make it 31-13. The game was basically over at that point, but a long Caracals run made the score 38-13 with 4 minutes left- basically over. Mamari U would score once more for pride's sake, but the Islamic U had emphatically clinched their spot in the next round, 38-20.

Meanwhile, a different LCC team was trying to come on strong. Kabakono University were taking on the Waterbucks, and they were locked into a classic playoff battle. Neither team could really establish any sort of an advantage over one another. The Night Owls took a 7-0 lead early- but the Waterbucks tied it up by the end of the first quarter. The Night Owls kicked a field goal in the second quarter, but the Waterbucks scored another TD, to make it 14-10 to the visitors going into the half. The Night Owls, however, in the second half, really got things going. They scored two TDs in the third quarter, to make it 24-14. To start the fourth, A&M would score on their own, however- a 24-21 ballgame.

This was the score basically for the entirety of the quarter, almost all the way to the end of the game. The Waterbucks had a chance to try and get the ball back with a minute to go- needing a 3rd and 5 stop. But the Night Owls were bold- they did a hard playfake, the Waterbucks bit, and they went over the top for a 55 yard touchdown pass, to deliver the knockout blow. Most coaches are running in that situation- but the Night Owls went for it all, and succeeded. 31-21, and off to the quarterfinals!

Saturday 6:15 Kickoff

Zakuta State University Crocodiles 34–19 Heshima & Usian University Guardian Angels

Crocs v. Guardian Angels! This game was not all that close. Heshima & Usian did well to get themselves here, and quite honestly, did play well while they were here- well, unless you want them to finish off drives for scores all the time. Kicking four field goals is not a way to get a road upset in the playoffs, and the Guardian Angels simply were not capable of finishing drives. They had the ability to control large portions of the game- but they could not really take advantage of things.

They had four field goals, all in the first half. They led the entirety of the first half almost, leading 12-7 right before the final play of the half. But the final play of the half was a Crocodile Hail Mary- that Zakuta State successfully completed for a touchdown. Brutal. 14-12 lead for Zakuta State at the half- one they certainly did not deserve. But they came out of halftime making the right adjustments, and they started killing it in the second half. They outscored the Guardian Angels 10-0 in the third quarter, and scored a TD with 9 minutes left in the fourth quarter as well. The running game simply took over- they were better at getting their blockers out in front, and they just opened up huge paths for them to gush through.

Their RB1 had 103 rushing yards on the day, and their RB2 had 72- a well-balanced rushing attack, with plenty of big carries for both RBs as they wore the opposition down. At that 9 minute mark, Zakuta State took a game where they were down 12-7 with 3 seconds left in the second quarter, to a dominant 31-12 lead with 9 minutes left in the quarter. Heshima & Usian would return the ensuing kickoff after that for a touchdown, briefly giving them hope, but another 6 minute drive, that ended in three points for the Crocodiles, did them in. Final score was 34 to the Crocs, and 19 to the Guardian Angels. Off to the next round!

Saturday 8:15 Kickoff

University of Aksum Silverbacks 31–37 Aksum State Stars

This was always going to be the primetime nightcap. Of the 7 games so far, think about this. All chalk- all 7 better seeded teams won. Which meant there was a lot of home cooking, always an important thing in the postseason- home teams were 7-0 heading into this matchup(well, 6-0 technically, since Zakuta State's game certainly overlapped with this one).

But the rivalry had been turned into overdrive mode. Per traditions- the Aksum State flagburning on the University of Aksum campus. On Thursday, during the day, a group of Aksum State frat students marched through the center of the U of A campus with a replica of the N9 Conference championship trophy- and blasting the fight song. Probably would have started some fistfights- but there were 15 of them. The snipping between U of A and AkSU players has hit a fevered pitch this week. Muhoozi Lwazo, a NPOY candidate, told reporters that "this year's conference title was the last Aksum State will win for the next decade." AkSU's QB, on the other hand, said that "the arrogance of U of A will be their downfall- it is time to put them down."

Muhoozi Lwazo really tried to get the Gorilla's Den going. And he did his best- first play from scrimmage, took a swing pass 75 yards to the house. Silverbacks fans were losing their minds at this point- might have been the loudest we've heard any stadium all season. He was trying his best to will the Silverbacks over the line, and he was a nearly unstoppable force of nature for the entire night. Patient, bouncing off tackles, impacting the game in different ways- everything that you'd love to see from a stud HB.

But there was a reason that Aksum State beat them last time, and a reason that the Stars were N9 champions- even if they were sitting here as the #11 seed. Their Ranorian QB was able to orchestrate a TD drive in the first quarter, and then orchestrate another long field goal drive- 10-7, to the Stars, midway through the second quarter. That's when Muhoozi Lwazo would really get going again. He was able to take a HB toss for a 35 yard gain- enough to spark the Silverbacks to really be dangerous, and start threatening to score. Just four plays later, a play-action pass saw their QB hit a wide open TE for the Silverbacks second TD of the game, to make it 14-10. The Stars would hit a 33 yard field goal as time expired in the half, and it was just a one point game at the break- 14-13, in favor of the University of Aksum.

Coming out in the third quarter, the Silverbacks were able to earn a field goal. But then, the Stars were able to do somethign crazy themselves. Reach all the way to the bottom of the playbook- rivalry game, playoffs? A pitch to the halfback- who then throws a pass downfield! The Silverbacks lost gap integrity, and the WR was wide open. Cuaght the ball 30 yards down the field, and ran for 40 more. 70 yard TD pass by the halfback- 20-17 lead to the Stars. They scored again on their next drive, making it 27-17, and suddenly, the Stars seemed to be pulling away on the road here. After another stop, and a chance for a killshot- they did the worst possible thing. Pick six.

The two rivals went into the fourth quarter in a three point game- Stars 27, Silverbacks 24. But plenty of football game left. The Silverbacks, with 12 minutes left, had a 3rd and 13 from their own 44 yard line. They got 12 yards on an out route. 4th and 1, at the Stars 44. They've got to go for it, right? They had the RB- Lwazo got the football. But the Stars were in the backfield, and blew up the play for a 2 yard loss. A huge turnover on downs. They'd dip into their bag of tricks on the very first play from scrimmage. A flea flicker- and the Ranorian QB threw a dart for the Stars, 52 yards downfield. An impressive diving catch saw them get to the 4 yard line.

Two plays later, the Stars HB is diving over the top. It's suddenly 34-24, to the Stars. Are they pulling off the upset? The Silverbacks really had to storm back. Down 10, of course, they could use less of their best player, but their QB was ready for the moment. A lot of tension in the stadium. He drove the team down the field, and eventually scored on a 4 yard keeper. 34-31, to the Silverbacks. Then, U of Aksum got a stop. 6 minutes left. They've got the ball. They can do anything. But not so much on the field. A first down sack for 7 yards took them way back. 2nd & 17, a screen for just four yards. 3rd & 13, incomplete. Forced to punt.

An excellent punt return, combined with a couple of Stars first downs, gave them a chance to put the game away with 1:33 left. Up 3, having a 3rd & 8 at the University of Aksum 14 yard line. No timeouts left for the Silverbacks- first down wins it. They threw the ball, and got tackled about a half-yard from the sticks. Fourth down- Stars are going for it. They get it- but flags come flying, for a false start. Brutal. Stars kick, go up 6, 37-31. Silverbacks get the ball back with 50 seconds left. They drive, and have a chance for a Hail Mary on the final play. They heave it up, but it is incomplete- knocked down by the Stars DBs.

A stunning result. U of A fans in shock, Aksum State players storming the field. Hell, the away fans are on the field, too- it's rare you'll see a team storm somebody else's field. But that's this rivalry for you. Aksum State, as an underdog, came to the University of Aksum and scored a stunning win. So much meaning. Definitively, with wins at both stadiums, they are the better team in this rivalry- until U of A says otherwise on the field. AkSU fans are living their best life. Off to Busukuma to take on Kizza I College in the Quarterfinals! "It doesn't get better than this!" ASU"s head coach said.

Official BCSG Division I Playoff Bracket. Team on top is home for the quarterfinal round.
#1 Wild Valley University Golden Hornets(11-1) - Upper Coastal Conference champions..
#8 Kabakono University Night Owls(9-3) - At-Large
Betting Lines: Wild Valley(-9.5) v. Kabakono U. ABSM says take the over on Wild Valley to win by more than 9.5.
Baka Weko: +/- 1.5 rushing TDs. ABSM says take the under.

#4 Lesedi University Rhinos(9-3) - Kuanen River Conference champions
#5 Islamic University of Busoga Caracals(9-3) - At-Large
Betting Lines: Lesedi University(+4.5) v. The Islamic U. ABSM says take the under on the margin, but also Islamic U to still win the game.
Total Game Over/Under: 67.5. ABSM says take the under.

#3 Kizza I College Cubs(10-2) - Southern Shango Conference champions
#11 Aksum State Stars(8-4) - Northern 9 Conference Champions
Betting Lines: Kizza I College(-10.5) v. Aksum State. ABSM says take the over on Kizza I College to win by more than 10.5.
Cubs QB Oladobu Nantambu: +/- 2.5 passing TDs. ABSM says take the over.

#2 Zakuta State University Crocodiles(10-2) - Sun Valley Conference champions.
#7 Hangaza Tech River Rats(9-3) - At-Large
Betting Lines: Zakuta State(-5.5) v. Hangaza Tech. ABSM says flip the result- recommends betting for an upset win by Hangaza Tech over Zakuta State.
Hangaza Tech Defense: Winning the turnover battle by 2 or more(+600). ABSM says take this bet.

Eliminated & Bowl Eligible
#15 Heshima & Usian University Guardian Angels(8-4) - At-Large
#14 Tree of Life University Okapi(7-5) - Banijan Athletic Conference champions. Clinched berth in the Dinosaur Bowl.
#10 University of Buganda Long-Tailed Lizards(9-3) - At-Large
#6 University of Aksum Silverbacks(9-3) - At-Large
#12 Mamari University Sand Spiders(8-4) - Lower Coastal Conference champions. Clinched berth in the Sunflower Bowl.
#13 University of Hangaza Gazelle(7-5) - Valley Interior Conference champions. Clinched berth in the Sunflower Bowl.
#16 South Kitara University Sea Lions(9-3)
#9 Bunyoro A&M Waterbucks(9-3) - At-Large

NMU Brief- Northern Moravica gridiron set to take on EVU gridiron in charity baseball game one day prior to the battle for the Sally Trophy

HERZEGOVINA CITY, MORAVICA- The Battle for the Sally Trophy is a rivalry that has been one-sided, mostly- a series where the Cougars have won 8 out of 9. But they are temporarily moving it to much more friendly ground for Elephant Valley- the gridiron teams will play each other in a 7 inning baseball match, the day before their giridron match, in a fundraiser for charity.

Athletic Director Horace Browning said that the agreement showed "the myriad benefits of international cooperation within the NSCF- and how the sport really brings people close together." All proceeds from the baseball game, as well as funds raised at various events at the gridiron game, will go to a charity picked by the winner of the gridiron game in Week 9.

Two NMU alumni who are Members of Banija's WBC 56 winning title team, starting shortstop Atla Gadilefe and starting right fielder(as well as LPB All-Star) Ugonna Akachi, will serve as the team's co-managers. Lance Kabuye will serve as their assistant manager. After a couple of days of trials, Gadilefe and Akachi released the following roster.

Guest Co-Managers: Ugonna Akachi & Atla Gadilefe, both members of the NT
Bench Coach: Lance Kabuye
Batting Order, Position, Name, Gridiron Position, Bat/Throw, Class, Nationality.

1 SS Balinda Kisero(HB, R/R). Freshman. Banija.
2 2B Dwayne Markseon(K, R/R). Senior. Chromatika.
3 1B Jannik Nadine(WR, R/R). Senior. Ranoria
4 C Karwana Kakaddé(LT, L/L). Senior. Banija.
5 DH Felix Strom(QB, R/R). Senior. Valanora.
6 CF Malcolm Shelvin(FS, R/R). Sophomore. Ranoria.
7 LF Sai Dutta(CB, S/R). Sophomore. South Newlandia.
8 3B Tyler Geese(WR, R/R). Sophomore. Chromatika.
9 RF Vaniah Lagum(RF, L/L). Senior. Banija.

BENCH
C Owiti Meyo(C, R/R). Senior. Banija.
1B/3B Karl Sande(DT, R/R). Senior. Valanora.
2B/SS Nicodemas Abongo(WR, L/R). Senior. Banija.
OF Okoth Yienya(DE, L/L). Senior. Banija.
OF Ingrid Botrel(OLB, R/R). Senior. Chromatika.
IF Emmanuel Oruka(HB, R/R). Junior. Banija.
1B/C/3B/LF Zelotes Aero(OLB, L/L). Senior. Banija.
OF Jatoo Usijang(FB, L/L). Freshman. Banija.

PITCHING
1st Inning- RHP Wade Hurley(Ranoria). Currently redshirting, plays QB.
2nd Inning- RHP Amira Kong(Chromatika). Sophomore HB.
3rd Inning- LHP Kimi Lundin(Valanora). Sophomore TE.
4th Inning- RHP Levi Ayange(Banija). Junior QB. Backup QB.
5th Inning- RHP Bango Sonko(Banija). Sophomore QB. 3rd string QB.
6th Inning- LHP Alice Conti(South Newlandia). Freshman WR.
7th Inning- RHP Okwayi Kyebanja(Banija). Freshman WR.
SPARE PITCHER- LHP Kintu Kyema(Banija). Redshirt Senior MLB.

NSCF Brief- Northern Moravica clinch berth in the Celestia Conference title game with blowout win over the RUoN, combined with Loyola loss in the Elephant Valley

HERZEGOVINA CITY, MORAVICA- The Cougars are, for the very first time, Savannah Division champions! Northern Moravica played host to the Ratzupalfu University of Nature in week 8, in what was, unexpectedly, a huge game. NMU went into the game with a 6-1 record, while the Egrets were just a game behind them, at 5-2. A win by RUoN would have avenged their week 1 loss to Northern Moravica at the Jungledrom. But it would have done more than that- it would have made both schools 6-2 with just two games to go in divisional play, potentially giving the South Newlandian school their best shot to win a conference title ever since joining the NSCF.

It really could have been a program-defining win for the Egrets. But these kinds of wins do not come easy, as NMU showed the world. With the home crowd at their backs and the wind in their pocket, the Cougars were utterly dominant- especially on offense. 12 possessions on the day. 7 touchdowns(including one missed PAT) for 48 points, three field goals, one possession ending on a kneeldown(the game's final possession), and just one punt. The Cougars were seemingly the only team to survive the bloodbath of Week 7, and simply kept chugging along when the going got tough- and took it to their opponents.

A nearly perfect game on offense. You score 57 points in game, yes- you were dominant. What more can you say? Felix Ström was 12/15 for 278 yards, and 3 TDs. Nadine, Geese, and Alice Conti all had TD receptions- Conti had her first of the season. Nearly 20 yards per attempt, the Cougars were able to repeatedly push the ball down the field, and the Egrets secondary could not keep up. But on offense, they were also doing the same thing. We had two 100 yard rushers- Amira Kong going for 131 yards, while Balinda Kisero went for 101. Nearly 600 yards of total offense(591) for the game. Re-asserting themselves atop the Celestia.

That game, by itself, did not clinch the division. It was clinched later in the afternoon, when Loyola-Istria fell in OT, in the Elephant Valley, by a score of 32-29. Even with A-MV returning, that could not spark a road victory here. With Upper Westside University also clinching the opposite division, the Celestia Conference title game is set- NMU v. UWU. It's a 'season from hell' for Loyola-Istria- last place after 8 games in the division. A new format, yes- but last place for such a storied program, after winning the conference just a year ago... Shocking. Plenty of season left, however- can they spark a turnaround by getting an upset win at the Jungledrom?

BCSG Double Bid- BCSG bid to host the Celestia Conference championship game, and the NSCF 28 Championship Game

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- The BCSG have announced two bids to host major neutral site games this year. First, they have announced that they will bid to host the Celestia Conference championship game, at the Stadium of the Restoration(91,835) in the heart of our nation's capitol. They have said it is 'one of the most iconic stadiums in gridiron' and it will be a worthy neutral site location for the conference title game. The stadium will also play host, in Week 13, to the Rebel's Cannon Bowl, between Loyola-Istria and Richardson University. Assuming the bid goes through, that means both NMU and ULI will have a chance to play in the nation's capitol this season, as the Celestia conference title game is guaranteed to be NMU v. UWU.

The BCSG has also officially bid to bring the NSCF Title Game back to Banija, and to bring it to the very same stadium- the Stadium of the Restoration in Busukuma, National Capitol Region. The stadium has hosted the NSCF Title game twice, while the country itself has hosted the title game 5 times. The City's Mayor said that it is a 'football mad city', and that it would be able to throw a 'fantastic' celebration of all-things NSCF.

by **Ranoria** » Sat Mar 18, 2023 9:15 am

After Practice Presser
Friday Walkthroughs

“So Isaiah, do you have anything to say to those who criticized your performance last week?”

The quarterback rolled his eyes - always trying to get a viral quote. Then his movement stopped and they went a little wide - he could give them one today!

“Actually,” he laughed, “I’ve got all my socials private, so our fans got a little more creative to remind me that I sucked that day - thank goodness for our defense. I got about a dozen or so minimum transactions on cash apps from people telling me that I stink or that I needed to play better,” he held up a finger before anyone offered a follow up, and rummaged in his shorts for his phone. “Seriously, look at this. Our fans are nothing if not dedicated.”

He held out his phone to show screenshots of the notifications, most of which held messages much more vulgar than he’d let on. “Wild, right?”

Rodgers Jr Limited In Return, Hunter Continues Nice Stretch to Keep Governors In Everless Race

Isaiah Hunter has taken a big leap forward this season, despite a somewhat depleted offense and his defense not quite dominating the way they did a year ago

The Governors are still fielding the second best defense in the NSCF - they’re giving up just under eleven points per game - but this isn’t the historic unit of NSCF 27. And with Rylan Rodgers Jr’s hot start coming to an end with a high ankle sprain against Cold Hill, that’s left Isaiah Hunter to pilot this offense and make up up the difference.

So far his progress appears to have done just that. In the last five games now, the sophomore has put up 1,373 yards and twelve touchdowns to just two interceptions, shining in his role. Aside from a lapse against Kiyokonai, when he barely passed up fifty yards, Hunter’s shown that he’s taken great strides as a passer after being mostly relegated to a game manager role in his freshman year. He flashed last season for sure - making plenty of highlight reel throws including a deep shot to Constantina Perrier in the NSCF Championship, but without Rodgers in the lineup, he’s been asked to take a bigger role. And those performances have come in a fairly depleted offense - Perrier has played limited snaps over that stretch due to a lingering hamstring issue as well. Much thanks to his progress at quarterback, this team’s in an even better position to win the conference than they were last season.

Otherwise, the defense struggled a bit, letting up 20 points against a team that’s averaging that per game and sitting at 1-7 on the year. But they did their job - come the fourth quarter, Malchiel Lukiwiya continued his dominant season with a third down sack to force fourth and fifteen. The Black Leopards quarterback took a deep drop back and launched up a prayer, only for Karl Fortis to come down with his first interception of the season. The junior has had an embattled season personally, sliding down behind Packard Goss to third on the depth chart, and giving up snaps to freshmen Rodney Knight and Munanire Tembo - the game-icing interception had to be an emotional moment for a player who started for last season’s juggernaut edition of this defense.

And of course - Rylan’s back. The running back looked okay in his return. Benjamin Merik carried the load at running back, as the Governors wanted to ease their star back in. He tallied 9 carries for 38 yards on the day - maybe lacking his usual pop, but the ankle appears good to go. With another week, hopefully he’ll be back to 100%…just in time for this team’s second matchup with Cold Hill’s Buffalo. Both teams are currently 7-1 with Cold Hill holding the head to head advantage - a win in the Tundra would earn Richardson’s first conference championship game berth, and a second date with BYU, who managed to put up 30 points on this vaunted defense.

“Getting Rylan [Rodgers Jr] back is huge,” Kasen Harrowitz confirmed after the presser, “He’s anxious to get back into a full workload and seems to be close to one hundred percent, but we didn’t want to risk a re injury in a game like this.”

Indeed - while a now 1-7 Ironpeak made it a little closer than anyone would have liked, the Governors knew their team could handle this game without risking further injury to their stars - it’s also why Constantina Perrier played just ten snaps. Both Perrier and Rylan Rodgers Jr are projected to be full participants in practice this week though, and we’re only dialed back this week out of caution. If they can prove to be back to 100%, that will be a huge boon for the Governors chances knocking off Cold Hill in week 10 to qualify for the Big 8 championship game.

Cold Hill Update

- After the third loss and undoubtedly worst game of his collegiate career, Benoit Youngblood bounced back hard with a 355 yard, 4 touchdown performance.

- HC Chris Dale said the team is “dialing in” for its rematch with Richardson University in week 10 a they’ll need to win that game to earn a conference championship berth and a rematch against BYU

- In Nikolas Isakaen’s absence, Kasozi Batte has made himself the clear top receiver in this stacked room - he’s leading the team in scrimmage yards and touchdowns, with Darin Sündstrom leading in receptions and freshman Enox Silverman making his presence known as well

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Sat Mar 18, 2023 11:48 am

Last week saw both of TJUN-ia's schools take part in what was one of the wackiest weeks in NSCF history. And now, both schools had to try and recover the damages quickly as Heartland Division play was about to resume. Both schools knew the stakes, but who would bounceback greatest - if at all?

Let's start with a Trent State Feathercaps side still reeling from being upset 41-24 in Cui-ui and now, they road trip would be extended to 4 games - with Game 3 @Jacob F Gleason Field to take on the 3-4 UCBP Warriors. Many, including Johnny Bridgeford, hoped that this game would solidify the MinCon titleholders' demise and TSU certainly tried in this persuit with Jason Steels firing 2 TDs (both to Patrícia Chládeková) with Eleonora "Firefeet" Scafakou hitting 2/2 on PATs and a 45-yard FG as well. But the home team were who they were for a reason, despite their losing record, and Neal Antonelli decided to take matters into his own hands with 3 TDs (2 via Maurice Carlson and 1 via QB sneak) while Greg Mead hit 2/3 on PATs and a 42-yard FG. UCBP are still alive after this 23-17 win and suddenly, TSU had lost back-to-back home games.

Meanwhile, the Green City Royal Eagles were still in a bit of shock of how their undefeated season went up in smoke, both in Alexandropolis and Boca Rana, but Paul Abdullahi and the fans hoped the ship could be turned around back in The Palace against 1-6 Mount Winston Diamond Hogs. The main aim was simply to "stop the skid" and that was exactly what went down as MWU could only manage a FG for the entire day and GCU's defence picked them off 3 times - 2 of which were brought home by Faith Okobi for pick sixes. Our over 5 TDs were via the magical work of one Alisha Obi Michel who found both Harrison Jeffers and Carlton McSwane, with Batsogile Lovederia running the other one in and a 2PC at that, with Glory Oparanozie going 6/6 on PATs and also hit a 37-yard FG to cap off a perfect night for both herself and the Royal Eagles.

GCU is now back ahead in the Division and now, opponents must be switched - with TSU going to Mount Winston and GCU hosting UCBP. Both games will be key in determining how both teams enter Earth Trophy VIII...which may actually end up deciding the division as a whole. Things are heating up, that is for certain.

TSU SCHEDULE (MINERAL Conference, Mineral Division + 3 Non-Conf)
Week 1: vs UCBP (CBP) W 39-36 (1-0)
Week 2: vs Mount Winston (GEM) W 27-7 (2-0)
Week 3: @Green City (TJU) - Earth Trophy VII L 16-34 (2-1)
Week 4: vs UAlexandropolis (NGS) W 32-7 (3-1)
Week 5: vs UPAM-Boca Rana (SGU) - Homecoming W 17-3 (4-1)
Week 6: @UConstantinople (NGS) W 37-19 (5-1)
Week 7: @UPR Cui-ui (SGU) L 24-41 (5-2)
---------------------Heartland Division Rematches---------------------
Week 8: @UCBP (CBP) L 17-23 (5-3)
Week 9: @Mount Winston (GEM)
Week 10: vs Green City (TJU) - Earth Trophy VIII
Week 11: Conference Championship Week
---------------------Non-Conference---------------------
Week 12: vs Elephant Valley (SNL)
Week 13: @Thereisnogodistan CC (NGD)
Week 14: vs Maximus Rochester Institute (PFA) - Senior Day

GCU SCHEDULE (MINERAL Conference, Mineral Division + 3 Non-Conf)
Week 1: @Mount Winston (GEM) W 50-6 (1-0)
Week 2: @UCBP (CBP) W 43-22 (2-0)
Week 3: vs Trent State (TJU) - Earth Trophy VII W 34-16 (3-0)
Week 4: vs UConstantinople (NGS) W 41-24 (4-0)
Week 5: vs UPR Cui-ui (SGU) W 34-14 (5-0)
Week 6: @UAlexandropolis (NGS) L 34-19 (5-1)
Week 7: @UPAM-Boca Rana (SGU) L 30-7 (5-2)
--------------------Heartland Division Rematches--------------------
Week 8: vs Mount Winston (GEM) - Homecoming W 53-3 (6-2)
Week 9: vs UCBP (CBP)
Week 10: @Trent State (TJU) - Earth Trophy VIII
Week 11: Conference Championship Week
---------------------Non-Conference---------------------
Week 12: @Upper Westside (STK)
Week 13: @Bowerstone (ATH)
Week 14: vs Felswyr State (CMT) - Senior Day

by **Utahn Theocratic Republic** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 11:47 am

Lizard Fiasco in Salt Lake

Reporter Eliza Roberson is at the scene…

Salt Lake City, Utah - In a surprising turn of events, a local resident has discovered what appears to be a previously unknown species of lizard in their backyard. The discovery was made last weekend by Jane Smith, a resident of Salt Lake City, while she was gardening in her backyard.

"I was pulling weeds when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye," Smith said. "At first, I thought it was just a regular lizard, but then I noticed some unusual markings and colors on its skin."

Smith immediately contacted the Utah Department of Wildlife Resources to report her discovery. Experts from the department were dispatched to Smith's home to investigate.

After a thorough examination, the experts confirmed that the lizard appears to be a new species that has never been documented before.

"This is a really exciting discovery," said Dr. John Davis, a herpetologist with the Utah Department of Wildlife Resources. "We're still in the process of studying the lizard to learn more about its biology and behavior, but so far, it looks like it's a completely new species."

The discovery has generated a lot of interest among scientists and nature enthusiasts alike. Smith, who named the lizard "Lenny", says she's thrilled to have played a part in the discovery.

"I never expected to find something like this in my own backyard," Smith said. "It's a really cool feeling to know that I might have helped to discover a new species."

The Utah Department of Wildlife Resources says that they will be conducting further studies to learn more about the newly discovered lizard species.

by **South Newlandia** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 12:59 pm

Addo Uster will not give up without a fight

The Elephant Valley University Red Elephants have struggled to really gain a decent footing in NationStates College Football. In their first four seasons, they amassed a decidedly losing record, no playoff appearances, while never even winning a bowl game in four years with Herron under center. Any fan will tell you its hard to get fired while coaching a South Newlandian team – indeed, in approaching two decades of sporting, no coach has ever managed to be fired. Addo Uster, who has never led his team to a true winning record and seems to have turned the Red Elephants into a regular punching bag for Banijan teams, seemed closest to breaking that rule. In the most recent season, he started 1-4 with his team, with some really difficult games remaining, and the writing seemed on the wall – but Uster rebounded, leading his Red Elephants to a 5-5 Celestia record, including winning the Sally Trophy for the first time on attempt eight, buying him at least another year.
In this season, the Red Elephants started 1-4 again, even after a shocking upset win in Loyola-Istria – the first time the Red Elephants had ever won in Banija – to open their season. The four losses included the majority of the Red Elephants home games on the season. The writing seemed on the wall again. Yet, again, Addo Uster has now led his team to a .500 record at 4-4 after a stunning upset win against Loyola-Istria, sweeping (!) the Banijan powerhouse in this season.
Next, they’ll have another chance to recapture the Sally Trophy in Northern Moravica, against the now-Savannah champion Cougars, with some baseball on the side.

It certainly was a very interesting and weird game. The Red Elephants struggled to keep up with the Blue Thunder, as expected, but it went much better than expected. Or, rather, ULI quarterback AMV, despite being 100% yet, was picking the Red Ellies apart through the air, but struggled to find the end zone. Of course, her wide receivers were doing her no favours. Marcel Schlachter in particular had an absolutely awful game, but the entire team combined for three drops in the end zone; all three drives, the Blue Thunder had to settle for field goals, of which they would kick five by the end of the game. One crucial moment came late in the third quarter, with the Red Ellies down 16-20. They found themselves deep in their own half with a 4th and 23, with freshman Iwo Sienko squaring up to punt. The only Esportivan starter on the roster had enjoyed a stellar season, and this booming punt was no different. Manne Nordström managed to return it cleanly, but the normally sure-handed Vanorian lost the football after a great tackle by Nova Anglican David Patterson. This gave the Red Elephants the ball back, which they used to take a lead, instead of the Blue Thunder potentially making it an eleven-point game.
All those factors plus two turnovers for ULI beyond that fumble allowed the Red Elephants to take things into overtime, tied at 26. After getting a reasonably quick stop, holding ULI to another field goal, Rico Divalles had what was most likely the best drive of his young career, connecting four consecutive tight passes, with the final one a touchdown to Gabriel Yafet to win the game.

“Unlikely Friends” hits top of South Newlandian, Ranorian music charts

(OOC Note: The title of the following song, as well as its lyrics, have been generated by ChatGPT, and very lightly edited by me. Please grade accordingly.)

The new hit song by the Ranorian/South Newlandian rock band Whighte and Trunk has hit the top spot in the music charts of both nations, taking the music world by storm. Below, you can find the lyrics to the song.

Maik the elephant, with his trunk held high,
Stompin' through the jungle, beneath a blazing sky.
Grant the snow bear, with his fur so white,
Roaming through the Arctic, in the northern night.

Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Their bond is unbreakable, it never ends.
Through thick and thin, they stand side by side,
Maik and Grant, together they'll ride.

Maik loves the water, he loves to swim,
Grant loves the snow, he loves to spin.
They're so different, yet so the same,
Together they play, it's not a game.

Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Their bond is unbreakable, it never ends.
Through thick and thin, they stand side by side,
Maik and Grant, together they'll ride.

In a world where differences divide,
Maik and Grant, they stand with pride.
Their friendship strong, their love so true,
They show the world what friends can do.

Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Their bond is unbreakable, it never ends.
Through thick and thin, they stand side by side,
Maik and Grant, together they'll ride.

Maik loves to trumpet, his sound so grand,
Grant loves to growl, across the frozen land.
They may seem different, but they're just the same,
Two best friends, with no one else to blame.

Maik and Grant, they travel far and wide,
From the jungle to the snow, they'll never hide.
Together they face whatever comes their way,
Side by side, they'll never stray.

Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Their bond is unbreakable, it never ends.
Through thick and thin, they stand side by side,
Maik and Grant, together they'll ride.

Maik and Grant, they love to play,
In the water or the snow, every single day.
Their laughter echoes, through the air so free,
Two unlikely friends, happy as can be.

In a world where differences divide,
Maik and Grant, they stand with pride.
Their friendship strong, their love so true,
They show the world what friends can do.

Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Their bond is unbreakable, it never ends.
Through thick and thin, they stand side by side,
Maik and Grant, together they'll ride.

Maik and Grant, they'll never part,
Their friendship forever, in each other's heart.
Maik and Grant, two unlikely friends,
Together they'll rock, until the world ends.

by **Chromatika** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 3:33 pm

Preview, Part 1
Preview, Part 2
Matchdays 1-3
Matchdays 4-5
Matchdays 6-8
Matchdays 9-10, Part 1

Chromatik High School Gridiron - Season Eleven Matchdays 9-10, Part 2

Season 1 Champions: Central Heights High School (MVP: QB Harold Jieter)
Season 2 Champions: East Omnio High School (MVP: WR Alessandro Mio)
Season 3 Champions: Mt. Niar High School (MVP: QB Sarai Gwenderyn)
Season 4 Champions: Mt. Niar High School (MVP: QB Sarai Gwenderyn)
Season 5 Champions: Flames of the Revolution High School (MVP: RB Nyata Antonucci)
Season 6 Champions: Staramara Tech High School (MVP: Edge Nicole Manstrom)
Season 7 Champions: Franscesca Larriet-Cortes High School (MVP: QB Liara Anderson)
Season 8 Champions: Vitoron School of Charge (MVP: QB Anne-Maurice Vivayavich)
Season 9 Champions: Myana Northwestern High School Blue and White (MVP: QB Nicole Estera)
Season 10 Champions: Myana Northwestern High School Blue and White (MVP: CB Lisa Bonsoon)

Heartland District

Breadbasket Conference

Matchday 9
West Shantarr High School 16–36 East Shantarr High School
Dragon High School 19–30 Pùr Equestrian School
Anfanhar High School 53–34 Pùr Heights High School

Matchday 10
East Shantarr High School 13–6 Anfanhar High School
Pùr Heights High School 14–6 Dragon High School
Pùr Equestrian School 13–33 West Shantarr High School

Breadbasket Conference                   Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 East Shantarr High School               10    8   2   305  178 +127
2 West Shantarr High School               10    6   4   249  220  +29*
3 Anfanhar High School                    10    6   4   312  314   −2*
4 Dragon High School                      10    4   6   272  289  −17
5 Pùr Heights High School                 10    4   6   241  288  −47
6 Pùr Equestrian School                   10    2   8   242  332  −90

West Shantarr High School ahead of Anfanhar High School due to H2H PD (+9) after H2H Result (1-1).

Breadbasket Conference Title Game: West Shantarr High School @ East Shantarr High School

Conference Summary: It's all about the rivalry between West Shantarr and East Shantarr - they really do hate each other, one of the craziest ones in all of Chromatik High School Gridiron. The Order, scoring over thirty points a game while having the best defense, relied on the precise arm of Sophomore Quarterback Daemon Argonaut and his favorite target, Draymond Sting, while Michael Larson helped things along on the defensive end. As for whom they would face, it came down to the last matchday, where the Scorpions were able to beat the Riders and the Mystery lost to the Order. West Shantarr's Senior Quarterback, Francine Weiler, did all she could to carry them to the Conference Championship - and though Anfanhar had a great offensive line and the other Quarterbacks of Ollie Ruckstread, Lee Jung-Hyeon, and Frederick Killaman started to play better, it was the Order and Scorpions headed to a collision course all season long.

Conference MVP: East Shantarr High School Sophomore Quarterback Daemon Argonaut (3,129 yards, 28 touchdowns, 7 interceptions) - Argonaut is the real deal. He can throw, he can run, and he can take over games. The fact that the team did so well even without him having to do everything made it even better. Argonaut is only going to get better in the next two years - and it'll be fun to see just how much he grows.

Conference Title Game Preview: East Shantarr swept West Shantarr on the way to that title. Argonaut was deadly in both games, and Michael Larson had three interceptions off of Francine Weiler across the series. Now, the Scorpions get another shot - but it will be a hard task to beat the Order.

Did You Know?: Lee Jung-Hyeon, the Freshman Quarterback for Dragon High School, may be the best Quarterback the school has had in years. Despite their porous defense, they recorded four wins, mostly because of Lee.

Dairy Conference

Matchday 9
City of Lorentine High School 10–26 Cheonju Korean Institute
Crix Technical High School 24–6 Cheonju High School
Crix Arts Institute 24–22 Lorentine Central High School

Matchday 10
Cheonju Korean Institute 37–13 Crix Arts Institute
Lorentine Central High School 14–10 Crix Technical High School
Cheonju High School 26–37 City of Lorentine High School

Dairy Conference                         Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cheonju Korean Institute                10    8   2   301  184 +117
2 City of Lorentine High School           10    7   3   287  223  +64
3 Crix Arts Institute                     10    5   5   178  229  −51
4 Crix Technical High School              10    4   6   229  208  +21
5 Cheonju High School                     10    4   6   179  253  −74
6 Lorentine Central High School           10    2   8   129  206  −77

Dairy Conference Title Game: City of Lorentine High School @ Cheonju Korean Institute

Conference Summary: San Coreen was a man on a mission this season, as the Senior Quarterback of the Red Devils led the best offense of the conference to the top of the standings. Kim Jung-Beom emerged as his best target, while Junior Defensive Tackle Reeka Solphim had eight sacks and thirty-four tackles for loss to lead the team to have the best defense in the Conference. Despite Crix Arts Institute and Crix Technical High School making runs at them, it would be the City of Lorentine High School to clinch the second spot in the Conference - Sophomore Quarterback Frank Wing playing well, Heinrik St. Joseph being a blindside protector, and Randolph Huckelby emerged as a good scoring threat. Of the rest of them, Rudy Gallagher, the Freshman Tight End of Crix Technical School, deserves a shout out as the best target of Senior Quarterback Jack Niles, while Ren Gyung couldn't do enough from the Running Back slot, Keenan Judson did okay in his first season with the Condors, and Lars Benny did lead the Majestics with 118 tackles.

Conference MVP: Cheonju Korean Institute Senior Quarterback San Coreen (4,101 yards, 33 touchdowns, 4 interceptions) - A very accurate season for Coreen as he also avoids the mistakes - only having four picks. Kim emerging as a true #1 receiver was what ultimately did the trick for San, though - as the Senior turned in a season to remember.

Conference Title Game Preview: The Red Devils dominated the Wizards in Conference play, including a 61-27 drubbing at home - there is good reason why they should be considered heavy favorites heading into this match. Coreen's form is the highest it's ever been, but if he wasn't able to even reach the District title game, it'd be the biggest travesty of them all. Make no mistake - the Red Devils are on fire.

Did You Know?: Lorentine Central High School Middle Linebacker Lars Benny is a hot prospect to transfer to City of Lorentine next season, having registered 118 tackles. That will only help the Wizards - but he was loyal to the Majestics this season.

Coastal District

Wildlife Conference

Matchday 9
Harbor High School 6–54 Anderson H. Kim High School
Lhor Central High School 33–9 Rhoni School of Architecture
East Rhoni High School 60–20 Pride Academy

Matchday 10
Anderson H. Kim High School 28–32 East Rhoni High School
Pride Academy 10–12 Lhor Central High School
Rhoni School of Architecture 28–29 Harbor High School

Wildlife Conference                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 East Rhoni High School                  10    8   2   328  231  +97
2 Lhor Central High School                10    7   3   221  143  +78
3 Pride Academy                           10    6   4   216  194  +22
4 Harbor High School                      10    4   6   195  317 −122
5 Anderson H. Kim High School             10    3   7   166  182  −16
6 Rhoni School of Architecture            10    2   8   223  282  −59

Wildlife Conference Title Game: Lhor Central High School @ East Rhoni High School

Conference Summary: it's impossible to talk about this conference without talking about the fall of the Cyclones. Senior Quarterback Mikkela Ansoli broke her throwing wrist, leading to Sophomore Quarterback Portia Ivansol having to take over. Ivansol did all right, but was overcome by the emergence of the Flying Jellyfish of Lhor Central. The Flying Jellyfish's best player by far was Junior Karen Michaelangelo, who led the way for their defense to concede 14.3 points a game, along with Senior Outside Linebacker Aurana Mikel. As expected, though, it was the Kayaks on top - Senior Quarterback Evan Jerome remained accurate, Junior Wide Receiver Peter Langloif had both the yards after catch as well as the bombs, and Sophomore Center Nevin Ilstead led the way with key blocks. The Gradients' defense folded despite the wealth of experience there, the Chimera hung in tough but couldn't' score enough, and the Shipmen - despite conceding the most points in the conference - sported four wins, led by Junior Quarterback Evan Hill.

Conference MVP: Lhor Central High School Junior Cornerback Karen Michaelangelo (71 tackles, 13 interceptions, 4 defensive touchdowns) - the latest of Chromatik shutdown corners, Michaelangelo had a great season in both interceptions and defensive touchdowns, living on an island. She knew how to read the Quarterback's eyes and how to outfight the receivers. The best part? She's reminiscent of one Lisa Bonsoon - she isn't afraid of having her voice heard.

Conference Title Game Preview: It's a classic battle of defense vs. offense as the Flying Jellyfish entertain the Kayaks. East Rhoni swept the Jellyfish during Conference play, but in both games, the Kayaks were held to less than twenty-five points. Karen Michaelangelo will need to have a game to contend with the likes of Even Jerome and Peter Langloif, his favorite target. It is a game ripe for an upset, though, as the Flying Jellyfish does have one of those defenses.

Did You Know?: Ryka Hal, the Kayaks' Junior Kicker, went 21-of-21 in Field Goals and made all the extra points this season. She credits her prowess to the Sara McAllister Kicking Academy that she's attended every summer between seasons.

Aqua Conference

Matchday 9
Coastal Academy of the Arts 40–7 Coast Guard High School
City of Larhai High School 22–23 J. H. Yadasky High School
West Rhoni High School 47–20 Compass Coastal Academy

Matchday 10
Coast Guard High School 34–26 West Rhoni High School
Compass Coastal Academy 13–15 City of Larhai High School
J. H. Yadasky High School 20–17 Coastal Academy of the Arts

Aqua Conference                          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 J. H. Yadasky High School               10    9   1   296  188 +108
2 Coastal Academy of the Arts             10    7   3   310  186 +124
3 West Rhoni High School                  10    6   4   277  251  +26
4 City of Larhai High School              10    4   6   170  245  −75
5 Compass Coastal Academy                 10    2   8   184  232  −48
6 Coast Guard High School                 10    2   8   122  257 −135

Aqua Conference Title Game: Coastal Academy of the Arts @ J. H. Yadasky High School

Conference Summary: Did anyone doubt the Heroes? They shouldn't have. Cade Stases is great, and with the likes of Junior Wide Receiver Dustin Perreault and Senior Running Back Isaiah Candy, the Heroes did enough, only losing to the West Rhoni High School Warhawks. The Sculptures of Coastal Academy of the Arts make a surprise appearance instead of those Warhawks - as the Warhawks drop a game to Coast Guard High School on the final matchday to seal their fate. Junior Quarterback Suki Yoshito will be annoyed that the Warhawks lost their chance - especially with Senior Wide Receiver Amos Pickard graduating soon. Junior Quarterback Hudson Charles and Freshman Wide Receiver Kevin Burr combined for one fine season - three hundred and ten points, at that. As for City of Lahari, Compass Coastal Academy, and Coast Guard High School, they were all lacking in offensive firepower. Give some credit to Senior Strong Safety Trilla Wassok of the Cartographers and Senior Defensive Tackle Gerry Hawthorne of the Guards - they did the best they could.

Conference MVP: Coastal Academy of the Arts Junior Quarterback Hudson Charles (4,018 yards, 31 touchdowns, 9 interceptions) - The Sculptures weren't counting on this happening - Charles took a huge step forward in his Junior season, setting his career best in yards and touchdowns, while keeping interceptions the same. Can he show up in the playoffs, though?

Conference Title Game Preview: The Heroes have been the class of this conference for a few years now - and though Charles has played far better, he did falter in both of the games against the Heroes. If he is to truly take a step toward stardom, he will have to make it to at least the District Title Game - but Stases and the Heroes will prove to be a hard obstacle to overcome.

Did You Know?: One of the best assets of the Heroes was Senior Punter Gyman Harolos. Harolos, with a good leg but the ability to drop coffin corners, is expected to attempt to be picked up at the NSCF level.

by **Cardenao** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 6:35 pm

Steve Valentine entered the locker room three minutes after his players did. Win or lose, he always came in three minutes after the last of the players had filled into the room after the final whistle. That gave the BSU players some time to cool down, to vent their emotions without having Coach in the room, to yell and scream and curse and do whatever it is they needed to do. The players knew though that when the door opened and Coach Steve walked in, it was time for business, time to get back to work. Exactly three minutes after the final player had walked into the locker room, there was a single curt knock before Coach entered the room. The mood was somber, funeral-like. Cardenaoans were not the most gracious in defeat.

“First off boys, that was a good effort. You played well, you played hard. That was a tough game and you left it all on the field, we came up short. That’s not who we are though, a single loss doesn’t define who you are as a player, as a man.

When we’ve won and tasted victory, glory, we’ve done that as a team, and this is no different. This loss is our loss, we lose as a team. Sure, this is tough as shit to swallow, this is a bad pill, but we can’t spend our time wishing it went different. We need to win. We needed to win that game but it’s over, so we need to win when we go again.

Mistakes were made. I made some, we as a team made some, individual mistakes happen but that affects the team, we’re only as strong as the sum of our parts. The good thing about mistakes, about losses, is we can learn from them. We can look at the tape, we can run things back in our mind, we can find the errors and use them as opportunities for growth. It’s time to focus our eyes on our goals and push towards those.

Look, I don’t think we’re going to win the division title. I know you feel that way, I feel that way, we’ll give it our best shot but I know one thing for god damn certain. New Cardonia State have overtaken us in the standings and that sure as shit isn’t going to stand. We’re the best Cardenaoan team, we have the raz, it’s up to us. Yeah we fell, but lets get back up and throw some punches out.

Let’s go home, let’s regroup, refocus, and put all our effort to coming back stronger, together. I believe in all of you, every single one of you, and I believe in myself as your coach and I believe in us as a team. We can do this.

Feel this loss. Feel this feeling, every second of it. Let’s not feel this again boys, take motivation from this to play smarter, work harder, and to never, ever give up.

We’re in this together, we will come out on top.

Broncos Country……”

“LET’S RIDE!”

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 9:30 pm

QFRX Radio - The On-Campus Radio Station of St. Croix Bleu et Blanc!

Bleu et Blanc football coach Hannah McKendry earns contract extension after Tiger Bowl win, 7-1 start into NSCF Spring Season

ST. CROIX, JOONGYEONG (QFRX Radio) - There was little to no doubt that Hannah McKendry, especially after bringing the Tiger Bowl back to Joongyeong for the first time in six seasons, was going to receive a much-needed contract extension.

But the timing of it all could not have come any better for the 44-year-old. With the Bleu et Blanc currently leading the Leaders Division under a 7-1 record, something that has not been done in last twenty years of the NationStates College Football (NSCF) spring season, head football coach Hannah McKendry has received a two-cycle, four-year contract extension into the year 2061.

Vice President, and Director of Athletics and Recreation Nathaniel Rowland Jr., age 64, made the announcement this morning.

'It is needless to say that Ms. McKendry has done every step of her way into developing an outstanding football program, one for the lads and the lasses to grow into mature figures into their lives, both on and off the turf,' Rowland said. 'Ms. McKendry and her staff, who succeed from a strong crop of coaches left by her predecessor, the right honourable Kweon Joon-Ho, have worked their efforts off to ensure that the program would come out energised, motivated and most importantly ready to win on all facets of life.

'For last eighty years Joongyeong's been known as one of the many sacred homes of the Quebecois college football, with St. Croix, the nation's leading academic and athletic institution on own and in coordination with l'IRSEA, leading the way. We have never surrendered our status as a powerhouse at home, but internationally still in the pathway to bring back our status of old.

'Ms. McKendry, taking over from the innovative offensive mind and leader of people that was Mr. Kweon, had ignited the spark perfectly. She deserves this extension and I agree that the best is yet to come. Allez le Bleu et Blanc!'

Under McKendry, the Bleu et Blanc have continued their dominance on the Quebecois Intercollegiate Sports (QIS) football with its consistent offence and a dominant and yet efficient defence. In her two seasons as the coach, the Bleu et Blanc have gone 24-3 overall, won the Apple Bowl title her debut season and most recently the Tiger Bowl which was played in none other than her home turf in Stade St. Croix, Joongyeong.

It is in the improvements of the Bleu et Blanc's performance this season, however, that has drawn some notice. With an all-dominant defence and offence led by upperclassmen-led offensive line and Bjorn Abelsen, their Vanorian quarterback coming from Raynor City, they have cruised to a 7-1 start with the NSCF-best defence in points allowed ahead of the likes of Ratzupalfu, Richardson and Maximus Rochester universities with similarly defensive reputations.

Their outstanding early-season form in the spring ball has also earned some considerations by outside circle as a top 10, possibly a top 5 selection, in the power rankings, though it is generally agreed that it is too early to count until the schools head into the international non-conference (tragically shortened as noncon) schedule.

'I would like to thank Chancellor Lee-Durkheim, President Davenport, and Nathaniel, for their support in me with the current and future state of the program,' McKendry said. 'With that saud, let's get to work.'

The contract extension, while not announced in details yet, is rumoured to amount around 4 million Quebecois pounds (12 million NSD), meaning that McKendry would be paid twice the amount she was previously paid when promoted as an interim head coach and then-special teams coordinator. It is rumoured that it includes up to 24 clauses involving significant incentives, which includes use of private jet for up to ten recruiting trips a year, but also incorporates other benefits.

More interestingly enough, a clause includes the use of a Collegiate Box at the Stade-Lionel-Mah, home of the CSKA Quebec FC, for all home games. McKendry's son, Luca McKendry-Mandolfino, is currently the member of the CSKA Quebec's Under-18 side, with the 17-year old expected to be promoted to the senior side next season, barring a commitment to the Bleu et Blanc's co-educational football team under a scholarship. McKendry-Mandolfino has yet to make a decision.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 10:16 pm

Celestia & Zephyr

Week 9

Savannah Division
Northern Moravica University Cougars (BNJ) 53–33 Elephant Valley University Red Elephants (SNL)
Ratzupalfu University of Nature Egrets (SNL) 30–19 University of Loyola-Istria Blue Thunder (BNJ)

# Savannah Division                               Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
1 Northern Moravica University Cougars (BNJ)        9    8   1   310  161 +149
2 Ratzupalfu University of Nature Egrets (SNL)      9    6   3   299  218  +81
3 Elephant Valley University Red Elephants (SNL)    9    4   5   216  243  −27
4 University of Loyola-Istria Blue Thunder (BNJ)    9    4   5   232  239   −7

Sequoia Division
Hankow State University Honey Badgers (UVI) 20–37 Upper Westside University Red Pandas (STK)
Royal Navy Academy Mariners (NAS) 19–20 Universidade de Soria Bats (LIS)

# Sequoia Division                                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
1 Upper Westside University Red Pandas (STK)        9    8   1   338  208 +130
2 Hankow State University Honey Badgers (UVI)       9    4   5   236  214  +22
3 Royal Navy Academy Mariners (NAS)                 9    1   8   164  338 −174
4 Universidade de Soria Bats (LIS)                  9    1   8   124  298 −174

Legends Division
University of Mancodas Mammoths (PFA) 37–6 Thereisnogodistan Community College Atheists (NGD)
Ceneisis Naval Academy Ensigns (AFT) 0–10 Maximus Rochester Institute Gijikyhandasari Yeraiqhospifasas (PFA)

# Legends Division                                                    Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
1 University of Mancodas Mammoths (PFA)                                 9    9   0   312  168 +144
2 Maximus Rochester Institute Gijikyhandasari Yeraiqhospifasas (PFA)    9    5   4   177  151  +26
3 Ceneisis Naval Academy Ensigns (AFT)                                  9    2   7   213  293  −80
4 Thereisnogodistan Community College Atheists (NGD)                    9    1   8   167  308 −141

Celestial Division
University of Lacragos Ebony Knights (EVI) 20–27 Raynor University Rockets (VAL)
Mar Sara Tech Raiders (VAL) 64–3 Bowerstone University Bobcats (ATH)

# Celestial Division                                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
1 Mar Sara Tech Raiders (VAL)                                           9    8   1   425  179 +246
2 Raynor University Rockets (VAL)                                       9    7   2   340  207 +133
3 Bowerstone University Bobcats (ATH)                                   9    4   5   230  287  −57
4 University of Lacragos Ebony Knights (EVI)                            9    0   9   134  405 −271

by **PotatoFarmers** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 10:30 pm

Mineral Conference

Matchday 9

Is this the status of your college's playoff hopes after this matchday?

Heartland Division
Green City University Royal Eagles (TJU) 37–9 University of the Commonwealth of Baker Park Warriors (CBP)
Mount Winston University Diamond Hogs (GEM) 3–44 Trent State University Feathercaps (TJU)

# Heartland Division                                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Green City University Royal Eagles                                9    7   2   318  158 +160
2 Trent State University Feathercaps                                9    6   3   253  173  +80
3 University of the Commonwealth of Baker Park Warriors             9    4   5   186  264  −78
4 Mount Winston University Diamond Hogs                             9    1   8   116  373 −257

Boreal Division
Constantinople University Binturongs (NGS) 48–35 Las Ventosas de Universidad Pública Reserva Cui-ui (SGU)
Universidad Politécnica Autónoma del Metro-Boca Rana Zorrillos (SGU) 16–20 University of Alexandroupolis Redbirds (NGS)

# Boreal Division                                                 Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 University of Alexandroupolis Redbirds                            9    6   3   185  155  +30
2 Universidad Politécnica Autónoma del Metro-Boca Rana Zorrillos    9    6   3   271  120 +151
3 Las Ventosas de Universidad Pública Reserva Cui-ui                9    3   6   257  288  −31
4 Constantinople University Binturongs                              9    3   6   210  265  −55

by **Drawkland** » Sun Mar 19, 2023 11:47 pm

Big Eight & Woodlands
Week 9

After this? There's one game to go in the conference stage.

BIG EIGHT
Ironpeak Institute of Athletics 10–38 Cold Hill University
Richardson University 34–21 Eastern Ploska University
University of Kiyokonai 0–26 LeBois Santura University
New Cardonia State 26–7 Bingham Young University

# Everless Division                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cold Hill University               9    8   1   326  159 +167
2 Richardson University              9    8   1   233  107 +126
3 Ironpeak Institute of Athletics    9    1   8   170  355 −185
4 Eastern Ploska University          9    0   9   189  347 −158


# Evermore Division                Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Bingham Young University           9    6   3   336  243  +93
2 New Cardonia State                 9    5   4   239  197  +42
3 LeBois Santura University          9    5   4   242  243   −1
4 University of Kiyokonai            9    3   6   159  243  −84

WOODLANDS
The Academy of Space 60–37 N&N Palæontological-Centred Research University
Koronki University of Technology and Computing 27–3 The Terrestrial Acclimation Academy
Crimson Royal University 15–19 Université St. Croix
Université du Saguenay 40–27 Crown's College

# Cosmos Division                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Koronki University of Technology and Computing     9    7   2   279  131 +148
2 N&N Palæontological-Centred Research University    9    3   6   149  232  −83
3 The Terrestrial Acclimation Academy                9    2   7    96  246 −150
4 The Academy of Space                               9    2   7   172  264  −92


# Leaders Division                                 Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Université St. Croix                               9    8   1   227   73 +154
2 Université du Saguenay                             9    8   1   237  158  +79
3 Crown's College                                    9    3   6   240  221  +19
4 Crimson Royal University                           9    3   6   108  183  −75

by **Banija** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 7:03 am

Horizon Conference

Matchday 9

Suddenly I see that it's the 9th cutoff of conference play!

Starlight Division
Sadeg State University Skyhawks (DRK) 6–25 Staramara Tech Lava (CMT)
Felswyr State University Firehawks (CMT) 50–6 Cavsar University Gladiators (DRK)

Starlight Division                                             Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Felswyr State University Firehawks (CMT)                       9    8   1   270  156 +114 - Starlight Division Champion
2 Staramara Tech Lava (CMT)                                      9    6   3   259  157 +102
3 Sadeg State University Skyhawks (DRK)                          9    4   5   211  219   −8
4 Cavsar University Gladiators (DRK)                             9    2   7   211  315 −104

Equinox Division
Elanardris Shadow Walkers (NAG) 33–24 University of Frisdrank Bulls (NTR)
Frontier Mechanical & Technical University Roughnecks (SAS) 29–13 Flosfores-Sea Catarina University Stallions (UVA)

Equinox Division                                                Pld   W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Elanardris Shadow Walkers (NAG)                                9    7   2   287  194  +93 - Equinox Division Champion
2 University of Frisdrank Bulls (NTR)                            9    5   4   245  245    0
3 Frontier Mechanical & Technical University Roughnecks (SAS)    9    4   5   154  177  −23
4 Flosfores-Sea Catarina University Stallions (UVA)              9    0   9   126  300 −174

by **Ranoria** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 8:43 am

A Third Ranorian NSCF Team? Which Schools Have a Chance?

By Vick Hamilton

This is perhaps an exercise in futility - Ranoria State has been trying to get in for years after all, and hasn’t quite pulled it off despite being one of the most successful and viewed teams in the country. But hey, plenty of people talk about it, so here’s some fan appeal- our top 4 (read: the only conceivable) candidates to get Ranoria to 3 NSCF programs.

4: The University of Berlin

Quick Facts
Nickname: Vangarians
Colors: Blue/Gold
Head Coach: Robert Vanderleigh
Arena: Berlin Coliseum, 64,000
Current Stars: HB Martin Swift, LT Donovan Johnson, DE Gordon Dean

Located in the same city as 2034’s RFL Champion Snow Bears, the Vangarians are like most Ranorian college football programs - tough, live and die by the run. They’re currently rocking and rolling with a 7-0 start to their season and cruising through the early slate of their schedule before a week 10 matchup with the University of Dietrich and a dance with Ranoria State in week 12 will test their mettle. With sophomore Martin Swift just a sophomore and a former five star recruit, he’s an early contender for the McNair-Torrent MVP award.

That said - Berlin lacks any strong rivalry with Cold Hill or Richardson to really add juice to their entrance, and it’s an odd year when they really show enough to push past a quarter or semi berth. They’re NSCF tier - the likes of Ironpeak, the University of Lacragos, and Ceneisis Naval lately wouldn’t be able to hang with them - but to ask this team to take on someone like the University of the Commonwealth, Green City, etc? That’d be a bit much. They’d have to bring in a monster recruiting class - and catch the committee on a good year - to garner any consideration.

3: Ashialand Coastal University

Quick Facts
Nickname: Mutineers
Colors: Green/White
Head Coach: Jack Porier
Arena: Reinhild Aerodynamics Arena, 70,400
Current Stars: QB Gracelyn Jackson, WR Chance Waller

A relatively recent upstart - Cold Hill’s ascent would be a good comparison. The Mutineers share a stadium with the North Ashialand Dreadnaughts, and when they hired Chris Dale understudy Jack Porier to lead the crew five years ago, their program changed forever. Taking advantage of a warm climate for his schemes and the attraction of a beach bum lifestyle for recruiting, Porier has created one of the nation’s best passing attacks in the last five seasons, racking up a record of 50-10 throughout his tenure in the regular season.

The Mutineers seem to have finally taken the next step, and are in legitimate title contention now with little to no tough competition left in the regular season - Jackson is putting up more than 350 yards per game under center. Cold Hill’s rise was similar, as Chris Dale established a strong passing game in a revolutionary scheme prior to earning his way into the NSCF over Richardson’s traditional rival in Dietrich, although a monster recruiting class headlined by RFL legend Thorn Davis at quarterback certainly helped. Tough sell, but it’s not impossible. Their major appeal, too, is location - they’re one of the few warm water ports in Ranoria with a beach that’s at least sometimes swimmable, very different from chilly Richardson or, well, Cold Hill.

2: University of Dietrich

Quick Facts
Nickname: Snow Bears
Colors: Light blue/white
Head Coach: Hans Mueller
Arena: Snow Bear Stadium, 70,000
Current Stars: RB Terrace Peterman[CMT], ILB Hannes Jackson

Before Cold Hill, before Loyola-Istria, there was the University of Dietrich Snow Bears, named for the nation’s national wildlife animal, standing as Richardson’s greatest rivalry - and yes, the irony of RU’s stadium being named “Dietrich Stadium” is not lost on us. The U of Dietrich is consistently one of the best teams in the country, and beat Richardson twice during their NSCF tenure despite the sleuth of foreign recruits and the NSCF’s allure drawing the best of Ranoria to the Governors.

Even from the outside they’ve made some impact - QB Kualu Luani was a transfer before winning an MoP and a championship with Raynor while safety Leon Elliot slotted in to give Richardson fits as a Mighty Eagle. When this team squared off with their arch nemesis, you could expect between 60 and 80 handoffs between the two - this is a team that, with 73 year old Hans Mueller in year 21 at the reigns, wants nothing more than to impose their will on the opposing team and, in his words “break them down so terribly in mind, body, and spirit that the effect is felt for weeks afterwards.” He boasts that one of Cold Hill’s domestic championship wins over Richardson was due to the beating his team handed the Governors in a losing effort in the semifinal. The letter “R” is banned in their athletic facility, and most of the school refers to Ranoria’s governor as the head of state. Hell, their hatred of the Governors was part of how the nabbed Chromatik running back Terrace Peterman - the young man had spoken to Richardson recruiters prior to their signing of Benjamin Merik, at which point he never heard from them again.

The two old rivals haven’t met on the gridiron in years now… is it time to change that? Despite gridiron of course being the axis of this rivalry, it’s persisted in strength- the bad blood between these two programs would be an intriguing addition, but the reason they take second is Richardson’s success in replacing them - be that their hatred for Loyola-Istria, the University of the Commonwealth of Baker Park, or just the one with Cold Hill. Their counterpart hasn’t created quite the same level of ~~connection~~ animosity between themselves and another program, which is why our best option would be…

1: The Ranoria State University

Quick Facts
Nickname: Wolfhounds
Colors: Red/Black
Head Coach: Geralt Anderson
Arena: Karmin-Falce Superdome, 121,450
Current Stars: WR Jean-Christophe Provost[QUE], QB Shirina Lehmann

Surprised? Yeah, didn’t think so. Besides being a perennial favorite to win the national championship, the Wolfhounds have a dicey history with the Cold Hill Buffalo, who were bottom feeders in their conference for decades prior to Chris Dale defecting from Ranoria State to his current home and turning them into a contender. The rivalry isn’t as bitter as that of the U of Dietrich and Richardson, but make no mistake- there’s no love lost two air raid kings of Ranoria. The Wolfhounds consistently produce top flight quarterbacks and receivers, including Jeremiah Fletcher (current WR2 for the Krauts) and Ricky Cappa (former #1 overall pick QB).

And an interesting case for them - despite being the best Ranoria has domestically - is that Cold Hill never developed as strong a slate of international rivalries as Richardson. Sure, they despise Northern Moravica and want to run the Firehawks off the field every time they look at them, but they don’t have the Rebel’s Cannon Bowl, or the now historic rivalry between UCBP and Richardson. The had something brewing with Kohnhead City but they’re departed now. Ranoria State coming in would be a breath of fresh air for the Buffalo on that front.

The Wolfhounds have made an effort to close the minimal talent gap between themselves and their NSCF counterparts, however, and have occasionally managed to nab foreign recruits, including superstar Quebecois WR Jean-Christophe Provost. With QB Shirina Lehmann still a true freshman, Provost has been a huge crutch averaging eight catches per game to help out a quarterback who’s struggling to adapt to big city life. Right now, they’re eating their conference alive and look to be on a warpath en route to another national title.

by **Utahn Theocratic Republic** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 11:02 am

Blake Zuercher PT 6.

These last two weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions for Blake. He was able to secure a win against BSU. Still, unfortunately, he and BYU fell short in their match against Cardonia State. Despite the loss, they were able to put up a great plan against Kiyokonai. They knew how the team has played and knew how Kiyokonai is at 3 wins to 6 loss record, the exact opposite of BYU, who in turn is at 6 wins and 3 losses with 336 Points-For and a +93 in Point-Difference. It was a heated race for BYU as BSU and Cardonia State were nipping at their heels and well Blake knew the pressure going into the game with the University of Kiyokonai and he in all honesty didn’t know how to approach it, so when he woke up for practice the next day. He attempted to get up but it was no use as the stress built up from being BYU’s star Quarterback came to haunt him and he collapsed on the floor making a loud thud as he went down. As Blake Zuercher closed his eyes, he felt the bright light of the room seemingly surrounding him. He was about to lose consciousness on the floor of his dorm, unaware of what might await him as he drifted off into the darkness.

When Hadley Stabile, a freshman QB and second string QB next to Blake, heard the thud from the other room, he went to check on his roommate Blake. To his surprise, he found him lying on the ground unconscious. Hadley was left worrying and with immediate action he approached Blake with haste and got on his knees to check for a pulse and breathing, although he wasn’t the best in the medical field Hadley picked up most of this from his father and well he called the medical staff that was on campus after he picked up a pulse and heard breathing. With the beginning worry calming down he waited for medical staff to arrive and once they did Blake was ushered out of the dorm and taken to BYU-H Health Center and Hadley had to face the hard reality of informing Coach about Blake being unavailable for the game that night. This was a difficult moment for both of them, but Hadley did what he could and called Coach to let him know what had happened and informed him of Blake passing out and it was hard for Hadley to hear the word that he was being put in instead of Blake tonight.

Blake had no idea what was going on. He remembered the moments leading up to his sudden collapse, but everything after that was a blur. After a few hours, he awoke to find himself in the sterile room of BYU-H Health Center. It seemed like the doctors were frantically trying to get him back to full health and he had no idea what was happening. As he slowly regained consciousness, he muttered "Son of a Bitch.." under his breath. The Quarterback attempted to get up and get out of the Hospital but he was stopped when a Doctor with a nurse accompanying him showed up and Blake grimaced as he was forced to stay in bed as the doctor scolded him for attempting to leave but all Blake cared about was practice and the game to prove he was still one if not the best Quarterbacks in the Evermore Division.

Although he was forced to sit down by the doctor, he perked up when one of the assistant coaches also known as Harley Lewis came in after knocking on the door, Blake knew what this meant and well he let a sigh out as Harley started to speak “Hello Blake, i am sure you know why i am having this chat and well i am sure you wont like it.” Blake moved and rubbed his eyes and just got to the point and spoke up “I am guessing that I won't be starting tonight?” A nod from the assistant coach made Blake grimace even more. Blake moved and sat back looking at the assistant coach and asked "How long until I am released?" The coach responded saying "Well, you should be good for the next game but your expected release date will be Thursday next week the day before the game with Loyola University.”

Blake nodded and looked at the coach, and asked, "will I still be able to watch the game from this dingy room?" and well the coach laughed and nodded, giving Blake a bit of joy knowing he could watch his brothers play against Kiyokonai, but that's when his family walked in. With his over-emotional mother, he could only make sure she knew he was ok.

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