CAFA Cup V (5): The Squeakquel -- RP/Results Thread

by **Mertagne** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 11:55 am

CAFA 5: MERTAGNE
thank you to Starblaydia for making the logo.

Welcome to Mertagne for the fifth edition of the CAFA Cup. This CAFA was constructed by you! 32 teams entered the competition, and a vote was given to each main nation on many facets of the tournament. You can see the result of that vote in this post, and we will now be proceeding with the tournament as voted. Only one nation will claim that coveted trophy! Could it be you that beats Ko-oren 0-1 in the final this time?

Rosters Thread • Host Bid • CAFA 4 (Ko-oren) • CAFA Rankings

GROUPS
GROUP A: (Dannmarsh)
Mertagne
The Karodin Tetrarchy
Cocoabo Forest
Parumaquae

GROUP B: (Dannmarsh)
Lexandrija
Pyazhnaya
Kotzellach
Tjorl

GROUP C: (Touchpoint & The Forkelands)
Audioslavia
Chromatika
Cheboa
New Gesem

GROUP D: (Touchpoint & The Forkelands)
Estorvipa and Estorpiva
Ochre Islands
Osarius
Featherstonehaugh Cholmondeley

GROUP E: (Plitterland)
Huayramarca
Yesopalitha
Grande Cucina
Bostopia

GROUP F: (Plitterland)
Cobrio
Aleirave
StrayaRoos
Koronavia

GROUP G: (Harridan)
Ko-oren
Krytenia
Cardenao
Isles of the Dead

GROUP H: (Harridan)
Flavovespia
Evermark
Euran Oceania Territories
Atheara

SCHEDULE
Tuesday, December 13th: Group Stage MD1 (1v4, 2v3)
Thursday, December 15th: Group Stage MD2 (4v3, 1v2)
Saturday, December 17th: Group Stage MD3 (2v4, 3v1)
Monday, December 19th: Round of 16
Wednesday, December 21st: Quarter-finals
Holiday Break
Wednesday, December 28th: Semi-finals
Thursday, December 29th: Third Place Playoff
Friday, December 30th: Final

Cutoff will be at approximately 22:00 UTC on each of these dates.

ROLEPLAYING INFORMATION
The Brevity Bonus makes its return to the CAFA. RPs running at exactly 500 words as judged by wordcounter.net will receive a bonus equal to 50% of the maximum matchday bonus. RPs within 100 words either side of this limit will receive a bonus equal to 25% of the maximum matchday bonus.

Furthermore, each matchday will come with RP prompts, which are purely optional and will not receive any additional bonus. The pre-MD1 prompt revolves around VOTING. What can the average person vote for in your nation? Government representatives? A new flavour for their favourite fizzy drink? What voting systems does your nation prefer, if any?

by **Mertagne** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 11:56 am

Welcome to Mertagne!
You’re joking, not another one? Oh for god's sake, I can't, honestly…

Welcome to the 4th international football tournament in five years to be hosted in Mertagne. Following on from the success of last cycle’s Baptism of Fire hosted with the collaboration of Ko-oren, held two years ago according to the Mertagnian calendar, and the 83rd Cup of Harmony with Tumbra the year before that, and a spectacular Baptism of Fire in collaboration with Farfadillis the year before that, it’s amazing that local Mertagnians aren’t sick of people coming over to our lands and playing football. It’s often argued they’re not sick of it because it’s bringing in a shed load of money for the nation that, just a decade and a half ago, emerged from a period of economic downturn and international isolation. But who’s keeping score?

If you’re unsure about Mertagne’s place in Anaia, you might have been living under a rock or simply not seen a map of the region, of which the contents therein will have been produced and approved by the University of the Plough Islands. If you are unsure, take a look - we’re slap bang in the middle of the region, north of Lake Bekk on the continent of [Nova] Calania. Mertagne is rumoured to contain 66 million people, however a recent scandal has broken that the Department of National Statistics has grossly overestimated the population, due to people inflating the size of their family on the erroneous belief that they would be entitled to tax credits. As a result, you might find significantly fewer people across the nation, but this is unlikely as Mertagne’s population concentrates itself in its cities. Its largest city is New Fligsive, found in Plitterland province, and its capital is Dannin, the nation’s third largest city, found in Dannmarsh. Its sporting hub can be found in the same place where the nation’s population first embarked across the nation - the city of Neorudo, in Touchpoint province. Mertagne contains nine provinces, which may be different from the nineteen you may have heard in the last few years - The majority Aurrera! government has made a move that shocked their Federalist core base in an attempt to appease their progressive voter block, which won them their majority in elections a few years ago. This reknitting of the provinces simply brought them back in line with the original nine provinces of Mertagne, trimming the fat from smaller provinces and allowing for larger budgets to be delivered to the regional forums, whilst also providing government stability during das Karussell - the unique method in which Mertagnian elections are performed.

In different annals of power, Mertagne has assumed the CAFA presidency, in which Michelle Romanage, former chairperson of the Federation of Mertagnian Football (FMF), ran in an unopposed campaign. Since taking the presidency one year ago, she has continued to steer the ship, as the CAFA was at a fairly even keel at the end of the term of her predecessor from Legalese. Romanage’s manifesto is to continue to deliver footballing excellence to Anaia, including to nations that are looking to climb the ladder to international competition. A rigorous referee training program to increase the pool of IFCF and WCC standard referees has been at the forefront of this, with training programs seeing fruition in nations such as Shrevashal and beyond.

To commemorate the consolation of Mertagnian power across the region, a new sporting campus is being constructed in the nation, to serve as a new headquarters for the FMF, as well as providing a satellite office for the CAFA, away from its base of operations in Koroa City. Construction isn’t likely to be completed for another two years, however, so you’ll have to wait to play in the campus’s associated stadiums, which should be completed in time for CAFA 6.

Reigning this prose back in to tournament operations, the following information will be useful:

Tourism & Transportation
Tourism in Mertagne is a burgeoning industry, but has matured significantly as the nation’s profile has increased with the hosting of several international sporting tournaments. The nation’s landmarks, including the Vessel of Victory, a large, copper statue of a ship that can be found in the bay to the north of the city of Keers, and the Road of Remembrance, a winding path adorned with grave markers that runs across the hill crest of the Veritas Valley, the largest valley in the Forkelands province, continue to draw in thousands of tourists per year.

Transportation around Mertagne is primarily done by car, as the nation's high-speed rail infrastructure is present yet fractured. The Trans-Calanian railway runs through the centre of the nation, and is the backbone of the nation's rail infrastructure, but its international status means that domestic trains are often slow. Coaches are your best bet for provincial scale travel, as routes between major cities are commonplace. Mertagne, much like many of its neighbours, drives on the left side of the road.

Culture
Mertagnian culture is built on the foundations of the historical cultures that came together to build the nation. Many Mertagnians will have an ancestry that is entwined with other nations, and the nation’s cosmopolitan cities will typically have enclaves of a variety of cultures dotted around them. You will likely be able to catch a whiff of home somewhere in the nation, such as a specialist food shop, a funky monument, or catching your language spoken between friends on public transport.

In terms of laws, Mertagne is governed by the National Forum, however Regional Forums have a lot of mandate to pass their own laws. Some of the big laws that may be relevant for your nation's athletes and sports fans are:

- The age to buy alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana is 18 years.
- Tobacco and marijuana products such as cigarettes and e-cigarettes cannot be consumed in public areas. Bars, including those in sports stadiums, are permitted to designate a smoking area, however many of these are an afterthought from the proprietors, so expect a dingy lean-to to be present more than a lavish garden.
- Other drugs are permitted, and are sold publicly in specialist stores. However, purchasing limits are federally mandated, and a background check must be completed before you are permitted a 'narcotics licence' (which is a subject of much ridicule among foreign nations). This hasn't stopped a black market from occurring, however, and the import of drugs does occur. Expect some tracksuit-wearing bloke wearing sunglasses in overcast weather to shoot you a quizzical look and tap his satchel if you’re looking to score some drugs.
- The majority age of consent between adults is 18 years. Prostitution is legal for those above the age of 18, but not regularly publicised - much of the marketing for that sort of thing is performed over the internet or as graffiti in a bar toilet or phone booth.
- Mertagnian citizens are allowed to purchase weapons for personal use, however the category of weapon an individual is able to purchase varies wildly depending on the province, with rural provinces typically allowing larger weapons and open carrying. Ammunition is regulated, with a similar system to the narcotics quota in place in Mertagne's weapons shops. A pervasive culture regarding guns as dangerous tools for hunting has meant that firearms are rarely adopted in more 'civilised' areas, such as the nation's major cities.

Mertagne's currency is the Mertagnian Ducat, which has an exchange rate of approximately 1 NSD to 4 MDU. This has increased from approximately 5 MDU two years ago, as the economy of Mertagne is moving from strength to strength. The currency is no longer pegged to the Euran Pound (and thus the NSD), as the Mertagnian government has enacted a silver standard by which to regulate the currency. Sales tax varies on province, but is always included on the price of the item on the shelf.

More information surrounding Mertagne is available in its factbook (now featuring pictures! wow! go over there and upvote it!), and a map can be found here.

Stadium Information
The first match in a given group will take place at the first listed stadium. The second match in a given group will take place in the second listed stadium.

Dannmarsh: Groups A & B
Dannin City Stadium, Dannin (Capacity: 85,750)
Dannin City Stadium sits in the heart of Mertagne's capital, and its unique look ensures that it's both an art piece, a functional stadium, and an eco-friendly statement all at once due to its assortment of solar panels, which wax and wane with the passing of the sun - an event that happens on occasion here in the wetlands. Home to top-tier domestic team Century Mertagne, the patriotic lime and dark green seating is sure to excite any nation that comes to play here. The stadium, shaped like a question mark or a tadpole(?), with its tail end facing south, also boasts an entertainment complex and is a hub venue for the local community.

Spectrum Stadium, Dannin (Capacity: 37,000)
The Spectum Stadium is a cavalcade of lights and sound, and this modern stadium decked in red and blue is home to bombastic side Signal Dannin. The stadium is littered with LED panels and large screens, ensuring that the stadium's very own fleet of camera drones is able to capture every moment of the game, from the beads of sweat on your goalkeeper as the opposition lines up for a penalty to the cheeky elbow that players of home side Signal Dannin are prone to whipping out against cocky opponents.

Touchpoint & The Forkelands: Groups C & D
Cop Limy Stadium, Neorudo, Touchpoint (Capacity: 96,300)
The Cop Limy is an iconic stadium, formerly belonging to the city-state of Leorudo in which Mertagne was first settled long after the exodus of its former owners. Home to the original Mertagnian club side that is Lehen Neorudo, and situated in the Docklands district adjacent to the mountain that comprises the sprawling city's 'Old Quarter', The Cop Limy is the premier venue for sports matches and concerts alike in the city. Upgraded several times over the years, the Stadium stands as a stereotype of the city itself - old architecture (present in the fancy gothic stonework adorning the stadium's left long side) fused with the latest building styles (a white carbon fiber donut covering the other three sides, that can be lit in a variety of colours). The stadium boasts the best in electronic scoreboard technology, and has a single long strip of interactive screens surrounding the top rafters of the interior, which have been used for purposes such as advertising, light shows, and close-up camera feeds.
Located in the stadium complex is a museum dedicated to Mertagnian football, which includes the preserved former offices of the FMF, including the very boardroom where the historic COCANEFA LigAnaia was born.

Origas Arena, Kurtz, Touchpoint (Capacity: 52,000)
The corporately sponsored Origas Arena is home to successful Mertagnian side Kurtz Herritik, now second favourite of Kurtz-born Orion Garstern Jr., who owns the stadium, but not the team. This divergence in interest has been a hot button issue for the fans of the Heretics, but tensions seem to remain at a simmer, with Garstern Jr. owning a controlling stake in his new favourite team, Chromatik Red League club Flames of the West. As his eyes are elsewhere, the Origas Arena has certainly seen better days, hurting from a lack of sponsorship funds with its now ageing wooden construction looking a bit lacklustre even after a fresh coat of red paint. The atmosphere at this stadium is a rare find, however, as the public of the now bustling city of Kurtz are die-hard football fans, and will certainly fill the stands in the event that your team's fans cannot.

Plitterland: Groups E & F
Keers Dock Pitch, Keers, Plitterland (Capacity: 68,750)
The Keers Dock Pitch has stands on three sides only, with the north side exposed to the coast and waters of the Grinshem Sea, which sits to Mertagne's north. Keers Kannoneers, of which the stadium's yellow and white seating commemorates, are known for having a betting pool amongst their players as to when the next ball is going to be punted by an opponent out of the stadium and into the ocean, with the added bonus and complexity of a series of large floating navigational buoys on the waterfront with point values painted on them. The nearby beach at Keers is regularly visited by children in the hours after a match, to search for these lost footballs. Finding one bobbing on the ocean currents usually means you have to have a kickabout with the other children. Just watch for seagulls - if your white seat at this stadium doesn't quite match a pattern with the seats around it, you now know why…
This is likely to be the last major tournament played at the Dock Pitch, as its ageing stands are becoming an inconvenience and a bit of an eyesore to the residents of the rapidly gentrifying area that surrounds the stadium. The docks have moved elsewhere in Keers, and rumours are abound that a new ‘eco-friendly’ stadium will be built incorporating the architecture of the port.

Flynn Ar3na, New Fligsive, Plitterland (Capacity: 88,750)
A project that could be considered the crucible of New Fligsive, Mertagne, the Flynn Ar3na (named as it is the third stadium to bear the name) was built as a multi-year construction project between regional construction giant Flynn’s, and the Mertagnian government. The Flynn Ar3na boasts a unique design that iterates on the design of its predecessor, the Flynn Arena in Fligsive, Euran Oceania Territories. This incarnation of the stadium has sacrificed some of its seats in order to incorporate a unique art section - where the old Flynn Arena’s upper ring would have been, here instead sit thousands of individually cast faceless metal statues, each inscribed with a names of Fligsivi civilians and combatants during the Corvidae War and associated Fligsive Incident. The unique acoustics that these metal statues cause in the upper ring creates a scintillating echoing effect when sound is broadcast from the top, which provides unique opportunities in this multi-purpose stadium, home to club side New Fligsive’s Memory. It is said that sometimes, the statues create the echo of a crowd lost to time.

Harridan: Groups G & H
The Ring Tank Stadium, Ostosaide, Harridan (Capacity, 54,000)
Located in Ostosaide, this stadium is home to Octosaide, and as the name suggests, boasts the region's largest enclosed aquarium on the outside of the stadium. Large enough for sea creatures of all types to enjoy their lives, the aquarium is carefully maintained by a complex climate control system, which has recently been upgraded in an effort to avoid promoting the growth of a thick green algae that had previously covered the stadium. Visitors to the stadium can view the aquatic flora and fauna from two angles - outside the stadium, with binoculars at regular viewing points around it, or from the inside at the Ring Tank Aquatic Viewing Centre. The pitch, located inside and away from the view of the aquarium, is well kept and its 54,000 seats are coloured in the blue and yellow of the local side.

Spire Campus, Blackave, Harridan (Capacity: 21,020)
Spire Campus is the collective name for not one but four football pitches at Black Peak University, in Blackave, one of Mertagne's highest towns by elevation. The campus, constructed using funds from the Mertagnian government, has been designed to fit in with the university's rustic aesthetic. Large, gothic murals adorn much of the main stands, designed by art students from the university which contrasts with the modern interior which was designed by a similar, but slightly more unhinged group of art students. A block of student housing is found opposite one of the pitches, which is regularly inhabited by Sports Science students and those that love the game, and are often found watching matches from their balconies. The party atmosphere generated by the university's students deeply contrasts with the stern, conservative members of the faculty and the local residents, which creates a unique ~~conflict~~ melting pot with many sides for your players and sports fans to engage with.

by **Ochre Islands** » Sun Dec 11, 2022 2:43 pm

When the Ochres were first settled, one of the first things entrepreneurs did was to figure out where growing conditions were best for sweet chestnuts. It would be a thirty year process, but as chestnuts were an old country - and therefore Ochre - favourite also, the eventual harvest and payoff would be well worth their time.

Unfortunately, as one too many cooks spoil the broth, so too do too many chestnuts growers. A broth full of only sweet chestnuts: could you imagine such a thing? There would be no room for broth. It would just be sweet, sweet chestnuts.

'Ey up our Jay, it wouldn't be all bad then would it? We could get buyers for all of these then we could.' Nick pointed toward a literal warehouse full of sweet chestnuts in neat little net bags. 'A nice idea there Nick but nobody would want a broth of only chestnuts.' Jay sighed and wiped the back of his hand across his sweaty brow. 'Not sure what we're going to do with these' he said, turning around and seeing a sign put up by the Cardenao Tourist Board, encouraging visitors to the country to see their 'many, many, many bridges' and 'much food'.

'Hang on there Nick I have a plan' Jay said, pointing at the word 'Cardenao' on the sign. 'A holiday?' 'Of sorts there Nick. We could drop the extra chestnuts over Cardenao as a special gift to them. We would be heroes.'

And so, later that evening, having acquired an old cargo plane and someone to fly it, they were rapidly approaching Cardenaoan airspace. 'How'd you afford this then Nick?' 'Chestnut sales. It was quite lucrative until I realised I had too many chestnuts. Are they all packaged and ready for delivery are they?' 'They are yeah Nick.'

A few minutes more passed as the Cardenaoan shoreline approached, clearly visible as there wasn't a cloud in the moonlit night sky, and Nick watched as the sand slowly turned into an unknown type of soil. 'Bomber's moon' the pilot said, jokingly. 'Eh?' 'Bomber's moon - even with a blackout on the ground the pilot can still see everything thanks to the moon lighting it all up instead.' 'Oh'. 'Good conditions for your air drop' the pilot said, hurriedly closing off that conversation as Nick turned his head back toward the window.

Nick was mildly upset he didn't know what type of soil it was, being a keen grower, but you couldn't go around just asking people what types of soil their country has without arousing suspicion.

'Right, few towns coming up. Open the cargo door and let the chestnuts out Jay.' 'Ok mate I'll open the doors mate.' Jay pressed a couple of buttons and a mechanic whirring noise was heard, even over the din of the jet engines powering the plane at 32,000 feet. After around a minute, the plane had jettisoned its load and it swept back around to return to Densdon Airport, which was next to the city of Densdon and on the biggest of the Ochre Islands, Handsby. Nick looked below the plane, hoping to see boxes of chestnuts floating gracefully to the ground.

'Ey up Jay, I can't see any parachutes' he called. 'Parachutes?' 'Yeah, parachutes, attached to the crates of chestnuts to help them land safely.' 'No crates mate. No parachutes either.'

Nick turned around and faced Jay directly. 'You didn't crate them?' 'No mate you said load them into plates and put them on the plane.' Discounting the plates for now, Nick dived further into the conversation. 'Jay are they still in the little net bags?' 'Yes mate, probably slid off the plates though.' Nick did a bit of thinking and turned to the pilot. 'Will those chestnuts still be in the bags by the time they land?' 'Probably not...' the pilot said 'they've a long way to drop and the bags won't survive the forces involved.'

'Jay you plonker!' Nick shouted. 'We've just cluster bombed Cardenao with chestnuts!'

by **Aleirave** » Mon Dec 12, 2022 10:53 am

"Well, I think everything worked out for us in the end, didn't it?" Haulafo Paka'ula told his team as they arrived in Mertagne for the fifth edition of the CAFA.

"Sure, they worked out, but that doesn't excuse the massive clusterf### we've had this past year..." Yekaterina Olayeva told her coach.

"What do you mean Katya--"

"Well, for one, you're garbage when it comes to paperwork! You refused to file the paperwork to get us into the Cup of Harmony, so we had to sit that out, then we almost missed CAFA signups, thank Margaret that Releo reminded you about those..."

"Okay so I may not be the best at handling paperwork, but it's not like it's only my fault--"

"So you're gonna blame this on Fiona Reval?"

"Well her tenure was a bit of a... well... um... tumultuous time, to say the least."

"Yeah, okay, sure, she was bad, but that's no excuse for leaving your duties out to dry Haulafo! I have half a mind to replace you as the head of the AFA..."

"Wait, WHAT??"

"Yeah, you heard me right. You're just lucky that Kenny Morgan and company were able to restore the king's memories after his little incident with the Retakono Me'a. He's always been willing to cover your ass no matter how horribly you've been doing your job lately."

"Well, the people haven't voted me out, haven't they? At least that puts me one step above that madwoman Reval, thank goodness she didn't last through that referendum..."

"The only reason why they haven't voted you out was that fluke win over Turori in qualifying! The people see a win over the highest-ranked team in the world and they think 'hey, our coach is doing a good job, let's not sack him', when really, it was all our work and you've just been on the sidelines mostly ignoring us! I'm sure if that Turori match went any other way there'd be protests in the streets."

"Okay Katya, is there anything I could do to make up for the mess I've made?"

"Honestly... I'll give you one last chance. But it's gonna be a longshot for sure."

"Tell me, what's it gonna be."

"I wanna go back to the semifinals. I'm confident we can at least make the quarterfinals on our skill alone, but a trip to the semifinals would be the proof I need to assure myself that our coaching situation is in good hands. Get us to the final four, and you get to coach us in World Cup XCIII Qualifying. If we're out before then, however, I'm calling Governor Adari'ena and he's gonna get you sacked. No amount of protection from the king or Kenny Morgan and the Eshialand Soccer Federation is going to protect you from being run off the island."

Haulafo took a deep breath before responding to Katya's demands. "Fine, let's make it to the final four."

Katya and Haulafo shook hands, but Haulafo was visibly sweating. He was definitely afraid.

by **New Gesem** » Mon Dec 12, 2022 11:32 am

If there was one thing that Gesemites could be said to love, Dimitri Knox reflected, it was committees. So reluctant were they to concentrate responsibility in one place that they couldn’t even elect one head of state; the country was run by a five-member executive, requiring a vote to do anything. When the first Gesemite League of Soccer club announced it was folding before the start of the GLS Cup playoffs, the institution was so averse to accountability that it wouldn’t even acknowledge which club had failed. Even Dimitri, who’d covered the competition since its inception and ostensibly had the most access of anyone, could only find out that “a club” had gone under and the rest followed suit.

What came next was chaos. Players went unpaid, including many who had been living paycheck-to-paycheck. The leagues of Anaia were closed to them, since without a steady income, they couldn’t afford the price of the expatriate insurance that would allow them to obtain an exit visa. A lucky few found employment as coaches or trainers at lower levels of soccer; most took whatever work they could find. Many moved home.

At first, Dimitri attempted to document their plight, feeling it was his moral imperative as the only full-time soccer journalist in New Gesem to do so. He quickly found that no one wanted the story told; players were embarrassed and shamed, and team executives were cagey. The more calls he made, the more doors were closed to him. Seeking to cut his own losses, he closed soccer.com.ng, took a full-time bartending job in his native Alexandria, and started covering local high school sports on a freelance basis to cover the rent on his two-bedroom house. His oldest daughter started middle school, and he didn’t argue when she chose track over soccer.

The call came around Christmas time, as Dimitri was endlessly scrolling auction sites, hoping to get lucky and find something suitable to gift his wife and daughters for Christmas. He didn’t recognize the number, and was at first afraid it might have been a creditor, but his bills were paid up. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he answered it.

“Mr. Knox?” came a pleasant female voice.

“This is he,” Dimitri answered. It never hurt to be grammatically correct when talking to strangers on the phone.

“Mr. Knox, my name is Ashley Gundarsson, and I represent the Grand Fraternal Bank. You’re going to want to write this down.”

When she was done, Ms. Gundarsson had given Dimitri the beginnings of the biggest story of his career. The Grand Fraternal Bank, which underwrote the financial institutions of all the major fraternities in New Gesem, had purchased the bulk of what had been the GLS’s assets at auction and was looking to restart the league in 2016. Details were scant, but Gundarrson insisted he could check with his sources and they would verify that the story was real, and could he please try to publish something before the new year?

by **Cardenao** » Mon Dec 12, 2022 5:45 pm

“Yes it does seem that national football team manager Scooter McNash is sending the team out in a 4-2-3-1, making the most of Juanma and Haritz Larrainzar’s Tikariot Team of the Season form…”

President Mihaly snapped back to the moment at hand. A great and entirely unforeseeable tragedy had struck Cardenao. He looked down at the newspaper on his desk.

The Chestnuttening Injuries Dozens, Causes Millions In Damages

Mihaly was shocked by what occured and listened to the Banijan military attaché explain again. A single plane had traveled from the Ochre Islands to Cardenao had jettisoned its cargo of perishable foodstuffs, bringing forth a rain of chestnuts the likes of which the nation had only seen once before. The plane had escaped into the night as the Cardenao military force was too busy observing the full moon, and by the time the full impact of that flight was realized, it was too late to track it down. Several people across the country had been injured, most notably a little girl playing hopscotch by moonlight was pelted across the noggin by a chestnut and had to be admitted to the hospital. There was plenty of broken glass from businesses and busted out car windows, while one chestnut packed enough relativistic kinetic energy cracked a church bell in Alameda.

Mihaly was furious. He enjoyed the relationship he had forged with Cardenao’s neighbor, but they had been somewhat haphazard in the past in their dealings and this was just far too much. Mihaly had thought about sending his complaint via the usual diplomatic channels, perhaps a call to Ochren Prime Minister Senator Heather Fairweather to very clearly register his frustration and seek reparations or some form of assistance in dealing with this mess.

No, this was the time for something more commanding. Mihaly had worked very hard over the last four years to build Cardenao up in the international community, to modernize the nation and begin to make an impact as a geopolitical force. This was an opportunity to see if Cardenao had some muscle to flex.

Mihaly called an aide and dictated a statement and when he finished, he was satisfied with his work. Nominally it was to the Ochre Islands, forcefully yet respectfully condemning The Chestnuttening and any role the government might’ve played, but between the lines the message was clear. It was Cardenao attempting to declare themselves as a country with some degree of regional influence, not a superpower, or even a power by any stretch of the imagination, but a power on the map nevertheless. To that end, Mihaly made what could potentially be a very bad decision, a strong decision, or a decision that might ultimately be ignored by the powers that be. Either way, Mihaly had his aid ‘accidentally’ send that communique via the AORTA channel, rather than privately directly to the Ochren government.

Only time would tell, but he was confident in his decision. One doesn’t modernize a nation without some conflict on the way.

by **Yesopalitha** » Mon Dec 12, 2022 6:24 pm

The current storyline:

Book 1: Eminent Change
Part 1: Omens and Portents
Part 2: The Meeting
Part 3: Amongst Legends
Part 4: True Darkness
Part 5: A Weighted Solution
Part 6: Sacrifice

Book 2: Abundant Chaos

Part 1: Everything Falls Apart

Deep in the depths of the crypts of Freedom's Altar, there was a chamber that was now guarded by The Hound and a regiment of Yesopalitha's fiercest warriors. In that chamber, in a comfortable open-faced casket, rested Nirdasil, the Chosen of Zaiden, the Dark Crusader, the Head of State of Yesopalitha.

By the time that the rest of the Dark Council had recognized that the power to close the abyssal seal was coming from Nirdasil herself, it had been too late. The Leader had fallen into a deep coma, and though the best Clerics and Physicians had tried both magical and nonmagical means to heal her, she had not awakened in more than three months.

Though the rulers of Yesopalitha had tried to keep a lid on Nirdasil's condition, word naturally got out. Panic swept across the nation, as many Yesopalithans believed that their connection to Zaiden would not remain at its current crux without the presence of Nirdasil. Zaiden, the God of the Unbidden, had never decided to speak through anyone else than Nirdasil; though Nirdasil had trained up a Priesthood known as The Truthseekers, none of the initiates knew how to contact with Zaiden to even a fraction of the level that Niradsil was capable of.

In the months that followed, the Dark Council tried to keep order with the help of Tarahal, The Elder, and many of the more powerful factions of Yesopalitha. Without their supreme leader, confidence in Yesopalithan leadership faltered. Instead of leaning into unity, divisions started to be born between the different species of Unbidden. The Orcs, always proud and easy to anger, left Freedom's Altar altogether, heading for the plains. The Wraiths and other Ghostkin started to play around with the idea of retreating back to The Fading, a plane adjacent to Yesopalitha, to escape the confines of the physical realm. Others started to delve into things that had been forbidden by Nirdasil, including the arts of how to subjugate the Bidden and dip back into the old prejudices.

Three months, two weeks, and four days after Nirdasil fell into a coma, the communities around the city of Worthington rebelled, being taken over by a sect of radical Unbidden that called themselves the Eternal Night. In a span of two days, they took over the surrounding infrastructure, setting up a military dictatorship where only the strong would be recognized. Declaring war on the rest of the Unbidden (unless they joined), and, ultimately, the rest of the World, the Eternal Night vowed to not rest until the only beings left in the world were the Unbidden themselves.

With a Civil War at their doorstep, the rest of the populace looking for guidance, and sheer panic gripping the very core of Yesopalithan society, the Dark Council were at a loss. They could crush the rebellion, but doing so would do more damage to the Yesopalithan psyche and have long-term effects.

When there was no answer, when all hope seemed lost, that was when she arrived.

(Word count of RP piece after the title: 500)

by **Chromatika** » Mon Dec 12, 2022 6:38 pm

Finnja's Gambit

Part 1: The Leadup

In the days following the Third Chromatik Premier Election, won by Hélène Embroise of the New Light Party, things went rather smoothly. Thankfully, Li Xiyiang of the Rainbow Party did not put up a fuss, yielding to the results of the tightest election in Chromatik history and recognizing Embroise as the Premier-Elect. Keri Wyse Aart served the remaining days of her office with dignity and honor, and being the first Chromatik Premier to serve two terms, was awarded the Medal of Service, the highest honor that a Civilian can receive in Chromatika.

In the midst of all this, there was one thing that many a political commentator tried to figure out: Why had Finnja Kornhäusel not endorsed Li Xiyiang? What was the motive behind that particular choice? There was no denying the fact that if Finnja had asked her voting base to support Li, those votes may have swayed the vote to Li's favor - the margin of victory for Embroise was so small that even if a small fraction of Finnja's voters would have done the job.

Interestingly, Finnja had stayed away from the media, letting the succession of power, the creation of a coalition between the New Light Party and the Spades Party in the Chambers of the Legislature to form a simple majority, and the talk of just how fast Keira Andisori's political star had risen to take over the Chromatik airwaves. In a span of a few months, the majority of the Chromatik populace remembered Finnja's role in the election, but had started to pay attention to it less and less. It was far more difficult to try to keep her allies satisfied, but she kept telling them that she would answer all questions in due time, and as Finnja had a repuatation of playing the long game, her privacy had been respected.

There had been one piece of information that she was waiting on, one little confirmation that would set her plans into motion. It was the same reason that had led to the purchasing of the capital ships from Eura to bolster Chromatika's navy - the situation unfolding in the Anaian island nation of Yesopalitha. A year before the election, Chromatik meteorologists and seismologists had announced that there was some strange activity occurring near Yesopalitha. When Chromatika had inquired, Yesopalitha had replied that it was a matter of state secrecy.

Though respecting Yesopalitha's wishes, the Chromatik government had become worried, and with some pressure by Finnja and some funding, the Chromatik Navy had acquired the ships from Eura. After completing training and fitting with Chromatik arsenals, one of them had already been sent on its way to the waters near Yesopalitha, just as a precaution.

As her phone rang, Finnja answered it immediately. It was the agent that she had been expecting.

"It's happening," came the voice from the other end.

"Very well," answered Finnja, "Proceed."

Hanging up, she sent a quick text to her press secretary to set things in motion, and smiled.

by **Ko-oren** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 6:29 am

Could it be you that beats Ko-oren 0-1 in the final this time?

"What I like about the tournament tagline is..."

"That it insinuates that we make the final." --Obadiah Gilinghurst
"That it pretends like we haven't already beaten ourselves, twice, 1-0, in the CAFA final." --Authusa Aoriene
"I don't, I fucking hate it. I'd like to see any other team make two CAFA finals." --Harmon Mulvahil
"That we apparently let it rile us up." --Ciriaco Laza (translated from Finisterran)
"That if I had a Korona every time we lost by one goal in a regional final, I'd have three Korona, which isn't much, but it's interesting that it happened three times. Twice? Nah, Osarius 3-2 Ko-oren, AOCAF 50. Educate yourself." --Wemagun Cyamou
"That no matter what happens in this region, it goes through us. And that's not just football! KO! O! REN! KO! O! REN!" --Timothy Parsons

Anyway, here's CAFA number five.

One, two, three, four, five
Everybody on the pitch, so look alive
To the liquor store around the corner (It's legal in Mertagne)
...
I like Kotzellach, Cobrio, Ochre and 'Tagne
And as I continue you know - ugh there's Krytenia (It rhymes and fits the metre, don't worry)
So what can I do? I really beg you, my Lord
To me football is just like a sport
Anything fly, it's all good let me kick it
Please set in the... vuvuzela.

A little bit of Audio in my life
A little bit of Evermark by my side
A little bit of Tjorl is all I need
A little bit of Atheara is what I see
A little bit of Straya in the sun
A little bit of Flavo all night long
A little bit of EOT here I am
A little bit of Bos makes me your preferred football team to win the fifth CAFA after several heartbreaking 1-0 losses in the final.

The squad's all smiles while preparing for the CAFA. Not in the least because there are several Miradela GD players on it - Bittencourt, Laza, Bonstirthinden - who saw their city rivals Branvon CD relegate to the Second Division on playoffs and the green-yellow part of Santa Teresa always likes it when the orange-brown part eats shit. Oh right, and Miradela didn't have a bad season either, finishing fourth to finally go to the IFCF again. One more win could have seen them de-throne one of the triumvirate of Maethoru, Straudum, and Aminey, but apparently it wasn't to be. Straudum's and Maethoru's aging squads suggest there might be some change to the natural order of the Top League on the horizon, but Maethoru keeps topping up their XI with talent they poach from the bottom 75% of the Top League and Straudum keep finding stupidly good talent in the second tier who are plug-and-play enough to just keep finishing top three with a team that's not that good on paper - or so the rest of the league copes. Gehrenna FC and WSR AFC keep thriving as well.

by **Mertagne** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 6:54 am

A news article from 1 year ago.

THE BRANDISTOCK BUGLE
News that's present, news that's correct

The Mertagnian Government has greenlit plans for a new footballing campus to be built in Bardiche province, on the shores of Lake Shoda, a mere 25 miles from the city of Brandistock. Brandistock, the recipient of last year’s “Mertagnian City of Culture” Award, has commonly lagged behind in terms of sporting infrastructure in comparison to the rest of the nation, and does currently not support a WCC-accredited football pitch, and the city’s football clubs are not within the first three tiers of domestic competition. However, on the success of recent tournament hostings from the FMF and the nation of Mertagne, along with a concentrated push to develop the tourism industry in Bardiche province, the footballing campus has received planning permission and construction will begin before the end of the year.

The multi-million ducat project, which is expected to be completed within three years, aims to be the nation’s “premier footballing hub”, and will contain several training pitches as well as a WCC-accredited stadium pitch with which to host games. The name of the stadium has not yet been finalised, but it is rumoured that corporate sponsorship will allow for a company name to be included in the name of the stadium. Further detailed in the plans are a high speed rail station to ferry football fans along to major cities, such as Brandistock and Dannin, and a series of office complexes to host major footballing organisations. It has not yet been confirmed if the FMF will be moving their entire operation, currently located in Neorudo, to the Brandistock site, but it has been confirmed that CAFA will be setting up a secondary office in addition to their office in Koroa City at the hub, with former FMF leader Michelle Romanage elected CAFA President after running unopposed in the recent CAFA elections.

While the Brandistock hub will not be completed until several years into Romanage’s tenure as president, she maintained a positive outlook on the project, stating that “The development will prove a boon to sport in Bardiche province” and that “this campus could enable for even better development of our already stellar youth players”.

While the idea of a new sporting campus has been moved around various areas of government for several years, it was believed that none of them moved into action due to a lack of financial support from private business, or supranational sporting institutions such as the Eagle’s Club. Prolific Mertagnian construction giant Flynn’s also failed to spring onto the project, as a consortium of construction firms from across Bardiche province have instead been awarded the contract by the property company, Sirrup Land Management, that made the initial planning application.

The campus is not the only large scale piece of footballing infrastructure to be put forward for construction. The Dock Pitch in Keers is soon to be replaced with an ‘eco-friendly’ stadium that can be deconstructed with ease, similar to Il Tendone stadium in Papillio, using shipping containers from the local dockside environment in its unique facade.

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 7:51 am

Alaba On Blast After D-Day
Can Bulls recover from sorry Dragonfly Day performance?

It's generally accepted that Friendly tournaments are worthless. The Bulls have, in the past, performed well in various Trindls, Eagles, Jurassics and Lyons Cups, yet very few, if any, Audioslavian football fans could tell you even when those tournaments happened, let alone whether the Bulls won or lost. Dragonfly Day, according to newly installed Astograthian manager Ager Alaba, was no different. A relaxed Audioslavia side - or rather, a number of different relaxed Audioslavia sides, such was the chopping and changing on personnel - took the field and generally left defeated.

But not defeated by just anyone.

One by one, the likes of Ko-oren, The Holy Empire and Nephara defeated Audioslavia in full view of an Audioslavian public receiving the games free on terrestrial television. By the end of the tournament, viewing figures had plummeted as fast as the Bulls had to the bottom of the league table. That final-day win over Starblaydia - Starblaydia! - was seen by a record few amount of Audioslavian fans.

It may have soured new manager Ager Alaba to many Audioslavians already.

A four-time league winner with AC Izotz Zubia, plus twice winner of the KIrola Cup and twice winner of the IFCF Cup Winners Cup, Alaba's resume is longer and sparklier than any national team manager in living memory. And yet he has instantly become unpopular. Zozi fans hate that he left, despite how quickly they've taken to replacement Orson Faulkner, a club hero from the LigAnaia years, fans of KT Itzalovalle hated him already, despite having played for and managed their club, due to him having left for Zozi ten seasons ago. Fans of most other Audioslavian league clubs have had the last decade to become sick of the sight of him and his men walking over their own football teams. It seems wherever you go, a number of fans would simply love it if he failed, especially now fairweather football fans appear to be on his back.

Drawn into a group with a Chromatika side that too often has Audioslavia's number (Audioslavia's cycle 88 regional championship win against Chromatika is the side's only win in five encounters), a Cheboa side threatening to come of age right now and a New Gesem side for whom this CAFA Cup is not their first rodeo, not only would failure to get out of the groups not be unthinkable, it could shatter the Alaba Era of Audioslavian football before it's even begun.

New Gesem are up first for the Bulls. As far as Ager Alaba is concerned, the job only truly starts once that first ball is kicked, but what outcome is necessary for fans to warm to the man who, at one point or other, has broken the hearts of almost every single one of their domestic football clubs? Does Alaba need to 'pull a Styrn' and win the CAFA Cup at his first attempt? Are this side even capable of that? We may know the answer sooner than we expect.

by **Cocoabo Forest** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 7:56 am

While the National Cocoabo Squad prepares for the Squeakquel, back at the research labs in Cocoabo Park a new study is beginning.

The control group is a flock of Cocoabo that resided west of the park pre-event. They have never been through a portal and never crossed through whatever regional wormhole governs the relationship on either side of the portal.

The experimental group is a flock that lived well east of the park, right at the heart of portal territory. Now this flock regularly traverses the portal on a daily basis and scientists at Tropicorp and Cocoabo Park would like to know just what impact that has had on the Flock. Are they faster? Stronger? Louder? While they will be looking naturally for any differences between the two flocks, if they do find any difference and it is determined to be something that could be.. .advantageous to the Cocoabo breed, the information would of course be turned over to the Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Project team.

If anything is found, then perhaps this new flock could find their way to the pitch in the not to distant future.

by **Featherstonehaugh Cholmondeley** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 11:05 am

Featherstonehaugh Cholmondeley permanently exists in the year of 1922, meaning that the shabby Origas Arena seems like a work of incomprehensible scientific achievement, and also meaning that, for the majority of the team, who are "players" (professionals), the right to vote is relatively new.

When the Representation of the People Act 1918 passed, it not only enfranchised women for the first time -- a recognition of their stalwart service on the Home Front during the Great War to some, a concession to the campaigning of the Suffragettes to others -- it also greatly expanded the male franchise, finally eliminating the property qualifications that would have prevented working class players like Jimmy Lawrence or Jack Dence from voting. The age requirement (21) still excluded Dence from voting in the 1918 election, though he will be able to vote next year when Prime Minister Boner LOL calls the next general election. For a man who served his country in the hellish trenches to be denied a vote was unconscionable even to the likes of Tories such as Mansfield Frinton-Smith, who still quietly muttered into their sherry that it was the end of blasted civilisation.

Jimmy, a communist who had turned to football only after being blacklisted from the docks for his union activities, was aghast at how few of his teammates had voted for the rising Labour Party. It had led to fisticuffs and harsh words when he learned that David Stanton, from a working class mining village, was voting for Boner LOL and his Conservative Party because he "didn't trust" Ramshackle McDoner-Kebab. The bust-up had led to an informal ban on discussing politics within the team.

Sadly, Lady Calliope Bentley-Buckingham-Baxter and Countess Emily Merriweather-Post-Pavilion, who were in Mertagne to cheer on the team, still found themselves excluded from the franchise, despite their very worthy efforts during the Great War. Callie had, with her friend Effie Tastycrumpets, rolled up her sleeves and enlisted in the Voluntary Aid Detachment, while Emily had tirelessly argued the Suffragette cause at Oxonbridge University despite the bile and acrimony poured at her from sneering male students, being arrested several times and physically assaulted at protests only to come out the next day wearing the purple, white and green colours just as proudly.

Among their social circle, only Marquess Sophia... (whose surname would void the Brevity Bonus so let's stick to "Soph" for now) was allowed to vote. Soph had mainly got extremely drunk and may have accidentally signed up to the "OWLs" (the Opposition to Women's suffrage League) as she thought it was a drinking club (which, in fairness, it mainly was). Nonetheless despite spending many thankless hours throwing back Merlots, Pinot Noirs, and amusing little Burgundies with fruity noses through the course of the Great War, she had now turned 30, which was the age at which women could vote according to the new law.

Also, Friedrich "Freddie" von Schurburg was not allowed to vote. Because he was, obviously, a German spy whose mission was t-

497.5 words

by **Huayramarca** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 11:40 am

After WC 92 MD 3 vs Mytanija.

Omar Caicedo, and the entire Huayramarcan National Team, were devastated after an electrical 4-4 against the Mytanars, Huayramarca needed one more goal to score to qualify for the Round of 16 of the World Cup for the second time as the Græntfjallers won 6-1 vs Milchama. So close yet so far, the team boards the bus and Caicedo, Hazel van Robben and Rodolfo Zelaya were brainstorming on how to solve this situation, despite they were crying in frustration.

“Have to admit, we’ve reached the point that the current tactic isn’t effective among the elite” said Caicedo, then added “There’s a way we can fix it, and it is a minor amendment I think” Zelaya added, “We lack the attitude, we lack intensity and individu…” van Robben interrupted “We need to enhance their individualities, but at the same time to promote team work to be effective.” Zelaya said, “We need to revive that spirit from children out in the countryside, those who play on the dirt; we need grit, aggressivity, we need to go back to the roots of fulbo!” (a common misspelling in Huayramarcan Spanish word fútbol).

One of the principles of fulbo is ego, showing the very best of oneself while trying to excel at the game, while also coexisting with the teammates to enhance the best opportunities of the whole team to get the best result possible. A style where physicality and profound mental strength are the name of the game, trying to outplay the rival at the most important facet of the game, scoring goals.

Caicedo said “So, fulbo can be the solution? That’s too offensive.” van Robben added “Look some of the most consistent teams of the last 20 years: The Holy Empire, Farfadillis, Banija, Baker Park. They’ve got a common pattern among them, teams that will always privilege offence over defence, you’ve got to understand that you’ll earn the same outcome if we got 1-0 or 5-4, we must have the edge over our rivals!” Zelaya added “We needed one more goal, we had clear chances, and our players weren’t able to envision different routes that could’ve been solved through individualities, so, fulbo is needed.” Caicedo said “Well, those are real points, but there are cultural differences.” Zelaya added “Put them some crazy training, even for us, and that difference will be vanished, we need to take them out of their comfort zone.”

Van Robben had an idea “We will create the right path for fulbo if we go to the Québécois Arctic and make them climb some of the tallest peaks in Huayramarca. We need physical and mental strength, we need them to rediscover their talents by themselves, there’s no better strategy than that. Caicedo added “That’s too harsh” Zelaya said “nobody said that the road to victory is easy. Do you want to be the best and mark the rhythm of football or be another one among many?” Caicedo said WE WILL PLAY THE REAL FULBO!

by **Bostopia** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 12:25 pm

'They bombed them with... chestnuts?' 'According to Cardenao's own protestations and what satellite imagery we can find, that's correct. Chesnuts. Of the sweet variety.' 'Is this something we should take to The Duke?'

A portrait of The Duke himself was hung beside the door to the Intelligence Branch's Corridor Number 10. It showed the time The Duke once strode into the room on a tour of the building to boost staff morale. He exuded confidence and power, as well as equal amounts of sternness and determination behind his thick moustache and dark rimmed glasses.

'The Duke will need to know. The Ochre Islands are an offshoot of Iteration-2004 Bostopia, after all.' 'Number 79 on the list, if I remember correctly.' 'Correct. Not to be trusted at all. If they're wantonly bombing their allies then it seems to be just the behaviour we've been warned about.'

Corridor Number 10 lead to Corridor Number 9, which then obviously lead to Corridor 3. Off Corridor Number 3 was Secure Conference Room 10, deep below the streets of central Newfort, the Bostopian capital. The Duke himself didn't appear, preferring instead to send one of his senior defence officials, the mustachioed General MacPherson, who arrived and sat down opposite the men from the Intelligence Agency, adjusting his glasses as he did so. He sat down next to Lucille Sanderson, who had no intention of playing a passive role in today's meeting but ended up doing so due to feeling a bit under the weather but dragging herself through it nonetheless.

'With chestnuts, you say?' General MacPherson asked. 'Yes. One young girl was hit across the noggin quite badly by one of the projectiles.' 'Not surprised' MacPherson commented, continuing with 'the sweet chestnut is totally unsuited for use as an aerial bombardment type weapon. We've heard of grapeshot before but not chestnutshot.' MacPherson waited a moment, before pulling a slip of paper out of his inside suit pocket. 'I -' he paused again 'I wish to inform that The Duke has requsitioned Bostopia's finest salamis (plural) be sent to the family involved, preferably not via aerial
sausage bombardment.'

MacPherson turned to the lady from the Foreign Office. 'The Duke also wishes to inform that immediate talks should be entered into with Cardenao and overtures put out to any other nation who feels threatened by the Ochre Islands. Anaia must be warned of the threat from this deranged offshoot of Bostopia-2004.'

'Thank you very much General' the lady from the Foreign Office said as he stood up. 'May I take a moment to introduce myself? I am Lucille Sanderson, and I wanted to-'

'Lucille I must stop you there for this isn't all as truthful as it appears.' The men from the Intelligence Service pulled out their service revolvers on the man masquerading as General MacPherson. 'That won't be necessary chaps', the man formerly known as MacPherson said, pulling off his military cap and jacket, revealing a trademark black shirt.

'For it is I!' he cried 'The Duke!'

by **Pyazhnaya** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 12:36 pm

For the fifth time, the Pyazhnayan national team is heading out to participate in the CAFA, Anaia's biggest football competition, and for the fifth time, they are hoping to be able to at least somewhat repeat the success they had in the Baptism of Fire. Equipped with a massively overhauled line-up, only one player of the squad is still playing in Pyazhnaya, the hopes around the islands are high to see the burgundy-and-teal make a more prolonged foray into the knockout stages.

Coach Aleksandr Zavrashin explains the shift in the approach.

Over the last few years, Pyazhnayan football has vastly expanded and demand for our players abroad has dramatically increased, which shows the standing of our footballers. Now it is on us to translate these individual strengths into a team.

One big development in Pyazhnaya's football landscape is the purchase of Chromatik club FK Shakhter Z'ai'ai by industrial giant Pyazhmetal, which is responsible for no less than three starters and two other roster members bearing the Shakhter logo on their club jerseys. But Chromatika is not the only country that features Pyazhnayans, with Tikariot, Tumbra, Nephara, Brenecia, Graentfjall, Mytanija, and Ko-oren also adding to the mix. When asked how much more difficult it has become for him to keep track of all his players, Zavrashin just shrugs and laughs.

It comes with the territory. I do spend a lot of time traveling between the regions, so it definitely is a plus if I can see a bunch of them in one game, like with Shakhter, but it also allows me to study different tactics employed by teams to potentially get additional ideas for the national team. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to just blindly copy other people's tactics, but sometimes inspiration can be a beautiful thing.

For CAFA V, Pyazhnaya has been drawn into a group with Lexandrija, Kotzellach, and Tjorl, two of which have not ventured out of the Anaia region, while Tjorl is a quickly emerging interregional power. Zavrashin does not allow anybody to view the group as easy, however.

Just because a nation is not playing the World Cup qualifiers does not automatically make them an automatic walkover, quite the contrary. For them, the CAFA is the competition and they focus on it and see it as their chance for fame. Tjorl really has shown incredible development over the last few years and I would not be surprised if they might compete for a spot in the World Cup proper soon. For Lexandrija and Kotzellach, they have not been in the international spotlight much and in that itself lies a lot of potential for a team like ours to trip over. This is why we have to put as much focus on the so-called "small" teams as on the bigger ones, to ensure focus. If you go up against a Starblaydia or Ko-oren, people are motivated, no matter what, so there actually is less work to get a team ready for matches. Pyazhnaya win!

by **Osarius** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:26 pm

"... the national team of Akach, known as the 'Lions at the border' will make their first foray into major international competition later this year," the reporter on the television said. "Facing off against some formidable opposition in the DSAFF Frost Cup. In the past, Akach have competed only in friendlies, or lesser-known competitions such as the Solidarity Cup, an annual trophy game they contest against CF Solidarite Akach. The lions made headlines in Osarius five years ago when they managed to convince Osarius captain Marius Mundi to represent them instead of Osarius at the Rabastor Unity Trophy, alongside several other Osarian internationals, including Kod-"

Kody Theus flicked the television off with a sigh. It still stung a little to be reminded of her time representing her real nation. But at the same time, she had always known it couldn't last. It was better for her career that she commit fully to the Firebirds, after all. Like, she'd spent her childhood playing football on the steel-caged concrete pitches of Dubisha, the small town her parents were born in, and never left. And decided that was a fate she didn't want to share; she wanted to fly. Be free.

Little Kody had come a long way since then. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Literally, not so much. She still lived in the same valley, having spent her entire professional career playing at Verda Zephyr. They were based in Verdanta, "down the road"; just a short drive from home. Kind of funny, thinking about it. Now she was representing "her country" -- whatever that meant -- at a regional championship. Which meant she was sat in a hotel room two whole bodies of water away. 'How far away is Mertagne from home anyway?' She pondered silently.

She kicked off the hotel slippers as she slumped backwards onto the bed, glancing over at its twin to her right. 'And where's Kenza?' she thought, with a frown. Normally her roommate was in bed early. Kody glanced at her watch. "Weird," she muttered aloud. It was approaching half past ten. This was very unlike Kenza; she was the type to be in bed by nine-thirty most of the time. They joked about this all the time. The younger woman tucking herself into bed at nine without fail, and grabbing a book, before falling asleep with it in hand ten minutes later. Kody, on the other hand, well... her relationship with sleep was something she discussed frequently with her therapist. Among other things.

With another frown, Kody hurled herself forward, off the bed, and onto her feet. She was still in her workout gear, so she just shuffled into the hotel slippers -- 'and the gaffer says laziness never leads to anything good' she chuckled to herself -- and grabbed her phone and the key card for the room. On her way out, she dialled Kenza's number. "You better pick up," Kody said, to nobody in particular. Something about this situation was off. Good thing she hadn't expected to sleep any time soon.

OOC: Neither Theus nor Ayache will play in the opening match.

by **Flavovespia** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:36 pm

Flavovespia is a representative democracy, using a largely proportional system to elect its 500 seat unicameral legislature. The head of state and the head of government are one and the same, with the President selected by the coalition that can command a majority in the Flavovespian Parliament. Whilst Flavovespia has for over a century used some form of proportional representation, a decade ago, the system changed with the regional and local government reforms. Flavovespia is made up of 10 regions. Each are then made up of municipalities, of which the fewest in 3 regions is a single municipality, and the most 17. In total, there are 74 municipalities in the nation. Municipalities themselves can then be divided into districts.

So how does this feed into voting. For the Flavovespian Parliament. Each region is allocated its share of MP’s, proportional to its population. For example, Hadford Hill, the most populous region, currently has 99, and Henhaven Island, the least populous, just the 6 MP’s. However, every municipality, no matter what its population, will elect one MP, using the Single Transferable Vote system, and thus some of the MP’s are directly elected to represent a municipality, although this conveys no extra voting power in the Flavovespian Parliament. Voters are given 2 ballot papers, a municipality vote, and a region vote. The former marked with an M on the top of the ballot paper, the latter an R.

How do votes then turn into seats. In simple terms, it’s the D’Hondt system used to turn regional votes into a share of the seats. However, once the regional vote is counted, and then turned into seats, MP’s elected by the municipality get allocated first, before the MP’s from the regional list get added. If a party wins more municipalities in a region than their regional seat allocation, then seats are removed from other parties, starting with the last round of D’Hondt counting, and working backwards until a valid result is produced. The regional vote also has another nuance to it. Parties rank their list candidates. If a voter marks their regional ballot with an X, then their 1 vote is allocated fractionally amongst the party list, a half for candidate 1, a quarter for candidate 2, an eighth for candidate 3 etc. following a two to the power of the negative exponent rule. However, should a candidate number their ballot, then the corresponding numbered candidate gets 1 vote in their party list count. Thus whilst parties have a fair level of influence amongst their MP’s, this prevents total control by their party (in theory).

Regional elections work much the same way, but with districts acting like municipalities, and municipalities acting like districts. Municipal elections tend to vary the amount of candidates elected by Single Transferable Vote in each ward and how many elected by lists, depending on their overall population and number of districts. As for referenda, it’s a long story, but to put it simply, beyond major constitutional changes, they’re not considered popular.

by **Cobrio** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 3:04 pm

The Panthers' most beloved team tradition hadn't been received particularly well at first. When Marvelous Koleoso first suggested it two years ago, there was most certainly not one-hundred percent approval. But now, Marv smiled behind his bowl as he looked around the fire.

Oh, now when he first suggested a communal meal, everyone was on board -- naturally, they are Cobre after all; food is a way of life for the people of the flood. However, attitudes were not so enthusiastic once he went into more detail on the arrangement. You see, although he managed a group of Cobre people, he was also managing a group of elite professional athletes. Every one of them was used to certain things, he noted. In fact, roughly two-thirds of the squad had personal chefs or nutritionists. Most of these provided by their clubs, admittedly, but it was easy to become accustomed to such things.

This had been behind Marv's gambit, in fact.

In his time in charge of the national team, he had begun to suspect that the sense of togetherness within the squad was not quite as strong as it was suggested to be at times. Similarly, he had begun to feel that life as professional athletes -- especially for those based in Osarius; 'ugwu man no dey understand Cobre way' after all -- had sort of... weakened... their connection to their homeland and people. It's difficult to relate to the average Cobran when you're living abroad, earning roughly eight times the average salary back home, and don't really have a lot of free time to visit.

So he had suggested the communal meal. Except with a twist. The players would cook it. To some, this seemed like a terrible idea. A massive risk. Footballers? Cooking? Yikes. Some of the players themselves had been less than enthused, in fact -- and Marv made sure they had a significant role in cooking the first meal for that very reason -- but it wasn't really a risk at all. Almost every one of these players had served time in the military, since compulsory service was still a thing, despite the nation not having been at war, or at risk of war for at least a whole generation. As Marv knew, everyone in the military learns to cook three things.

Pause. History lesson time.

Okay, so you know the story of Okwelle, right? And how we ended up with cook-offs being a thing in Cobre culture? Well, his legacy runs deeper than that. When the concept of the "Cobre nation" started to take shape years ago, one of the ties that bound the various peoples together was the similarities in their preferred foods. It stands to reason that living in the same areas, and having similar ethnic and cultural backgrounds, there would be crossover here... much like with the language, but that's a different lesson. Anyway, this is long before General Douglas, but it was decided that all military personnel would be trained to cook rice, salted goat meat, and a tomato-based lentil stew everyone knows as "farmer's stew". The idea being that food brought people together before, so... why not again?

Anyway, Marv could rest assured that almost every one of his players could cook these simple items, since almost every one of them served in the military and completed basic training. It's typical to complete this training at age seventeen unless you're an absolutely top class athlete and it's likely you'll get an exemption. So for the first communal meal, he asked for six volunteers to cook those dishes for the rest of the team. As expected, the captain, Maisha Thabane, put herself forward. Following almost immediately behind her came Idris Belafonte, and Fortune Mahlangu. Also expected, they were her close friend and second-in-command respectively. Then Marv nominated two of the most vocal opposition to his plan -- Algernon Fox, and Mongezi Chonguica -- and named himself as the sixth. So it began. The group of six cooked for the entire team, in the traditional way, using open fires and heavy iron pots for the rice and stew; flame heated stones in small pits in the ground for the meat. Then the team ate together, around a fire. The first attempt wasn't exactly a success, but it did silence the grumbles. Some players laughed and joked together, but there were still little cliques within the group. Still little divisions.

Slowly this improved over time, and now, Kamal Mutombo stood over a gigantic iron cauldron, stirring gently and glaring at anyone who stepped too near the fire. The big man had become surprisingly fond of the communal meals, and often took care of the farmer's stew, claiming that the rest of the team made stew that was "not fit for farmers". He grudgingly allowed his teammates to help him prepare the various vegetables, but closely guarded the combination of spices he added. "Family secret," he deadpanned in his deep, gravelly voice when Marv had asked once.

The effects of the communal meal had started to show on the pitch too. The team were playing well, their bonds transcending their club affiliations and whatever old cliques had existed in the team. This was the first call up for Henry King, and yet the team had already adopted him into the fold. Marv noted with a chuckle that Idris Belafonte had taken to calling the teenager "little brother", despite their closeness in age. But this felt good. It felt right.

Without actually saying it, Marv had made sure that his team remembered. He made sure that they knew who and what they represented when the time came for them to go into battle.

Perhaps this time, things would go differently.

by **Mertagne** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 4:30 pm

MATCHDAY ONE RESULTS
Note that even though two matches may appear to kick off at the same time, they may in fact take place on different days.

Group A
Mertagne 4–1 Parumaquae @ Dannin City Stadium, Dannin, kick-off 17:00 (Scorinated by Mytanija)
The Karodin Tetrarchy 1–1 Cocoabo Forest @ Spectrum Stadium, Dannin, kick-off 20:00

Group B
Lexandrija 2–1 Tjorl @ Dannin City Stadium, Dannin, kick-off 20:00
Pyazhnaya 4–1 Kotzellach @ Spectrum Stadium, Dannin, kick-off 17:00

Group C
Audioslavia 2–1 New Gesem @ Cop Limy Stadium, Neorudo, kick-off 17:00
Chromatika 1–0 Cheboa @ Origas Arena, Kurtz, kick-off 20:00

Group D
Estorvipa and Estorpiva 1–1 Featherstonehaugh Cholmondeley @ Cop Limy Stadium, Neorudo, kick-off 20:00
Ochre Islands 2–1 Osarius @ Origas Arena, Kurtz, kick-off 17:00

Group E
Huayramarca 1–0 Bostopia @ Keers Dock Pitch, Keers, kick-off 17:00
Yesopalitha 0–0 Grande Cucina @ Flynn Ar3na, New Fligsive, kick-off 20:00

Group F
Cobrio 5–3 Koronavia @ Keers Dock Pitch, Keers, kick-off 20:00
Aleirave 0–1 StrayaRoos @ Flynn Ar3na, New Fligsive, kick-off 17:00

Group G
Ko-oren 7–0 Isles of the Dead @ The Ring Tank Stadium, Ostosaide, kick-off 17:00
Krytenia 2–4 Cardenao @ Spire Campus, Blackave, kick-off 20:00

Group H
Flavovespia 2–0 Atheara @ The Ring Tank Stadium, Ostosaide, kick-off 20:00
Evermark 0–0 Euran Oceania Territories @ Spire Campus, Blackave, kick-off 17:00

RP Bonus statistics do not include brevity bonus.
17 roleplays were graded before this cutoff.
Of these roleplays, the mean RP bonus was 76.47%.
The median RP bonus was 70.00%.
The standard deviation was 14.55%.
4 roleplays received above 90% RP bonus.
12 roleplays received brevity bonus, of which 1 received the reduced bonus.

Your prompt for Matchday 2 revolves around RECORDS. Do citizens of your nation hold any particular records? What is the strangest record (as in, Guinness Book of World Records) that has been recorded in your nation? What are some of your most interesting sporting records?

by **New Gesem** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 6:19 pm

No sooner had Dimitri checked his sources and published on Ashley Gundarsson’s tip than the small social universe of New Gesem blew up again, bigger than it had when GLS had folded. The thing was, GLS had been on the chopping block since its first season, and it was the underdog mentality that drew many of its fans to it in the first place. To these fans, the league imploding was just another chapter in the story of their scrappy league, but the involvement of the GFB was an existential threat to the way they had enjoyed soccer.

The conversation went something like this; as small, independent teams, the GLS franchises were at least somewhat beholden to their fans. The fan experience was, on the whole, objectively bad–teams played at insane times on fields that were by and large unsuited to the sport–but this gave the fans leverage they could find nowhere else in sports. Unable to deliver on things like foreign players and soccer-specific stadiums, the team leadership would placate their fans with free tickets and player meet-and-greets. The GFB threatened this paradigm by promising to elevate the GLS experience; the word “gentrification” appeared often.

It was hard to fathom why the GFB thought any of this was a good idea. The GLS was structurally flawed and had been losing money since day one; most owner groups had either accepted operating at a loss or were in thrall to the sunk cost biased. Dimitri posed these questions to the men and women in suits, and the answers he got, while categorically evasive, orbited around a single point: the fraternities wanted in on sports. New Gesem had no domestic entertainment industry to speak of, no movie or television studios, few publishing houses or record labels. Quebecois, Huayramarcan, and Mertagnian intellectual property dominated Gesemites’ attention.

Sports were the sole exception; Gesemites of all ages and socioeconomic strata shelled out for digital cable in order to watch the GFL, and to a lesser extent GCAA and NSCF football. Streaming data for NSCF was of particular interest to the GFB’s business development department. Those who watched NSCF football, and the World Bowl when that experiment was still ongoing, were more likely to be young and employed in growth industries than the football-watching demographic. This intrigued the GFB, because the market was largely untapped. GLS teams had done well in IFCF and CAFA competition in the past, but they’d done so in the dark, because no one in New Gesem had the broadcast rights.

No more, the executives told Dimitri; the GFB, through its entertainment subsidiaries, would offer World Cup Committee football, IFCF matches, and every foreign league they could get their hands on, alongside the GLS. GFB would negotiate with the foreign entities, and then sell the rights to the highest bidder among fraternally-affiliated entertainment networks. The fraternities would make money, but more importantly, they would reach the demographics they most needed to recruit in order to ensure the longevity of their organizations.

by **Lexandrija** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 9:39 pm

We emerge from the cocoon.
We hunt.

The dignitary was polite. Too polite. Didn't stop smiling.
"It would be a pity," she was told, "if there were to be any more, ah, incidents..."
"Oh, of course." This had been anticipated. The visions. The mutations. The deconstitution into jelly of Rudy Najjarine, though he had got better. The dignitary smiled and smiled, and her green eyes never seemed to need to blink. "There will be no further incidents, you can trust me on this."
"Ah... that is excellent." Clear relief. Clear relief from someone who wanted to stop talking to the dignitary as soon as possible. There were prawn cocktails to get at.
"We've reached an understanding with the Glory," she went on, "that to serve It, as best as, truly, we can -- and one must strive for excellence, don't you think? -- that we must... remain relatively, uh..."
She searched for a word, gesturing vaguely.
Supplied the other suit, saying the quiet part out loud: "Sane?"
"Yes! Yes, yes. That." The dignitary chuckled softly. "Slightly on the nose. But it will do. Feet on the ground."
"Just so..."
"You can assure your sponsors; all will be well. We are here to play completely ordinary football matches as they were designed to be played."

The team was a strong one.
The chaff had been culled. Few knew where. They served another purpose, now.
Not all Lexandrija's people saw the visions. Some had been away too long. Their mutations were only limited. But such were useful, too. It had to be said that being in thrall to the Glory was not wholly conducive to imagination on the pitch. Certainly, their bones were... weak. Their bodies... were wrong. The robustness of Nephara-dulled thugs like Majerle helped supplement them...
And it was Majerle who provided the first. His pace and strength that fought off Steinssen, his good eye to see fellow burly man Latham enter the box. A scrappy finish nevertheless lumped by Lewisohn; no, not truly a goal worthy of the Glory's eyes, but in Its service, nevertheless.
The opposing team railed against their fate. For a time, they had the better of things. Beringer struck one, beating Tabasi at her near post, and threatened another, lashed against the side netting; elsewhere, only a heroic last-ditch challenge from Turnbull turned aside Eriksen. But that snuffed out the last of the chances. The last of the game was Lexandrija's.
A quintuple substitution turned the game on its head. "Why was the decision made to be so drastic?" the press asked.
Parvidzhon Borrowfield smiled. "It came to me in a dream."
And so it was that Freya Martinjan, of the maligned local league, found herself with the ball rocketing to her from Kamarandan, the best and strongest of the squad. A heavy first touch inadvertently helped, taking it away from what became Kaufer's air-swing, and a genuinely impressive finish made up for the lack of technique, leaving Lewisohn without a chance.
A patchwork victory. A start.

by **Evermark** » Tue Dec 13, 2022 10:02 pm

"... long has it been? Two long years in the wilderness, and yet the fear is that the people again turn inwards..."

"... resentment began to build up. The best players were leaving the Rites for better things abroad: for pay, which, though these people mint no coin of their own, was understood to be a fundamentally good and right thing to do..."

"... nevertheless a conservative faction has, though it is hard to believe, emerged, decrying foreign weakness as an infection. They say that the Seekers should not dilute their traditions with football abroad, where it is not seen as a sacred duty..."

"... that at least, hopefully, they will be placated by the opening match. No neutrals would have been. It was, in truth, a dire affair, but that is just as most Evermarkers like it..."

"... indeed there are signs that Evermark may be limited by the profligacy of their strikers. Leif and Ziska were not sharp enough on the mark, and made little of the few chances that came their way..."

"... signs were more hopeful elsewhere on the pitch. Kessler and Elena remained brutally difficult for EOT to get through, and behind them, there was still no getting past the back line. Merry Cassalei earned her substantial corn..."

"... enlivened the game by bringing on Hilda Rockbiter late on. She was strikingly overweight and showed little interest in the game, preferring to fight EOT's defenders where possible. This made her beloved of the priests in the stands..."

"... yet the first touch she had, the only shot she managed all game, saw her meet a vicious cross from Sparkling Ingrid head-on and only narrowly put it over the bar..."

"... other newcomers also acquitted themselves well, and it is hard to avoid the sense they are playing for contracts abroad. Virile Harker, father of countless 'kits', as Evermarker juveniles are known, impressed down the left, while Kris Sweetling, as ever, made an impression as a surprisingly deft technical player..."

"... when Gerhard Beacon was sent off for brutally chopping down a man just outside the box, Seneca Creeksifter came on, limping heavily. Yet for the twenty-five minutes that remained, she was everywhere, throwing herself into blocks and tackles, doing everything in her power to keep the score down..."

"... in the end a point gained more than two dropped. Nevertheless such is the increased ambition of the Seekers that there was a certain disappointment in not seriously threatening a goal themselves. They are, unaccountably, favoured to get through their group, with only Flavovespia ranked higher..."

"... most reactionary of the priests insisted that Perilous Sapphire had betrayed her principles and strayed from 4-4-2. One had acquired a press pass to ask her just this at the post-match interview. Remarked Sapphire, 'Would you have had me remove a goalkeeper? Or are you so blinded by your own hate that you forget the Laws of the Game?' A hush fell at the accusation of serious heresy, and I am yet to see that priest again, in the days since..."

by **Atheara** » Wed Dec 14, 2022 8:18 am

The team kind of knew they could have done better.

Michael Cole oddly scored both goals for Flavovespia, but The Blue Guard couldn't care that much. A loss to record the start of the CAFA campaign that they're a bit uncertain on how it will go. Each player looked stiff for some reason, was it due to the fact that they didn't have much bonding when they were re-assembled? Or was it the fact that the exclusion of several names such as Gretznotsh and the older Krygorf affected them a bit too much?

Either way, they all looked a bit different. Horzabath looked off, something wasn't right with the few key mishaps that could have made things worse. Dawnbridge's shooting was oddly inaccurate once in a while, and Winger couldn't control the team that well. This isn't to downplay Flavovespia, they played extremely well as defending regional champions. It was just that Atheara had made a lot of mistakes that was easily pointed out even by neutral spectators. Is it their mentality, or were they just off form?

Kristian Johansson, the head coach of the national team, along with the rest of management also looked confused. Maybe there was just something not clicking with the entire team. And for that reason, he decided to personally get involved to get his players all up and ready for their next match. Within training, he told all the players to do bonding exercises and other forms of training that require coordination. A lot of reasons as to why, but mainly because it was one of the things Atheara is known for when it comes to football. The Blue Guard emphasizes teamwork and communication.

As he looked around and assessed each and every player with key detail, his assistant looks at him. Tedd Van De Lruzhingen was a bit curious on what Johansson thinks of the team right now.

"Likely off their form and a lack of understanding. 52 matches not with the national team can certainly affect players. For a country like Atheara, that can prove fatal at times. Even in the slightest sense, and I trust my gut when I say that."

Lruzhingen gave a nod towards the elder coach. He could kind of see it too, now that he has input from someone.

Once training was done, the players were free to do as they wish. A few players stayed to train more such as Horzabath, Red, and Trevoire. Some decided to have a well deserved rest such as Coelho and Milewent. Everyone else had activities that range somewhere from continuing training and resting. Based on what Lruzhingen sees, the practicing kind of lighted up the mood of The Blue Guard by quite a bit. As Johansson walked off, the assistant coach took notes on how the head coach did it. He liked the way he did it. Inspired, you could say.

Tedd Van De Lruzhingen left for his own devices, as he knew his future objective. Be the head coach.

by **Ko-oren** » Wed Dec 14, 2022 10:00 am

The last time we scored 7 goals

World Cup 88 qualifiers came close: 6-0 over the Communist Republic of North Yorkshire. We called the statisticians but even they didn't know, we had to resort to the historians for the answer. World Cup qualifiers 65. Featuring a 5-4 defeat to the Holy Empire, a 3-3 versus Liventia, a stream of 2-0 wins, as well as a 4-1 win, and nothing too special happened until the final quarter of the campaign. Six points behind the Holy Empire in second place, the team first defeated 3rd placed Liventia 6-0, a few mediocre results and 1-0 wins, followed by a 7-0 win over De La Fleur. There it is! The last time the Ko-orenite national team scored 7. Arguably a larger scoreline was our World Cup 59 qualifier win over the Imperial Canadian Duchy: 8-1. In some countries, they count 8-1 as better than 7-0, but not in Ko-oren, as you'd probably expect. More big results can be counted on the fingers of one hand: there's a 6-0 in 69, a 5-0 in 87, and then the 6-0 in 88 as previously mentioned. By the time we started playing in the AOCAF (cycle 64), with the glory days pre-IAC before that, we had switched to our Straudum VV-esque defensive form and we didn't get as many goals anymore.

So thirty-four cycles later, here it is! The young-ish squad, raised by clubs such as WSR AFC, Advance Alara, and perfected by foreign styles in Valanora, Quebec, and Eura, familiar with higher scorelines. Kaji and Gillinghurst on the wing, Mallerbury advancing the ball from the back line, with Laza and Daraluthen doing their magic in midfield, anchored by Entatingun, and with Aoriene completely free between the lines, and Archer up front as a poacher. Never has the team been freer to play their roles. And with Tsuchimoto coming in for Aoriene - who plays at Hiwatsu FC, an amateur club, for crying out loud! - as well as Enokida making his debut for the Dragonflies, and set-up man Bonstirthinden added as a second striker for anchor Entatingun in the second half (amidst some 'regular' substitutions), the team hasn't looked as attacking as in the early 60s. Whether we'll continue to see these names don the Yellowsash remains to be seen - it'd be tactical suicide to not select some of the bigger names for the World Cup qualifiers - but the CAFA has always rewarded us for unorthodox choices. As long as we're not playing Audioslavia, for which we're contractually obligated to play the fucking worst football on the planet (and win).

From minute one, it was all Dragonflies. Kaji's low cross to Archer opening the score after 18 minutes, then Aoriene doubling the score, soloing into the box. The second half saw Daraluthen slot the ball into the far corner, Archer get his second, a Mallerbury header, and Enokida scoring on his debut from distance, and then a Bonstirthinden 90+6', slightly unsportsmanlike goal scored from a drop ball.

CAFA Cup V (5): The Squeakquel -- RP/Results Thread

CAFA Cup V (5): The Squeakquel -- RP/Results Thread

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