"It's just that we're getting a bit sick and tired of losing to lower-ranked sides, Comrade Gerald! 'Ere we are, supposedly the second-best team in the Multiverse, and everythink, and yet this is our sixth loss, no wot I mean?"
"Indeed I do, Comrade Toggle, which is why if we must go down - if this is to be the last match for the All-Hamster Revolutionary Liberation Front, then let it be a moment that goes down forever in the annals of hamster liberation! Comrade Hammy here has a cunning plan...."
"Thank you, Comrade Gerald. Now, this doesn't really have much to do with the precepts of Carlimarks as seen through the prism of Hermann Gerbils thought - I regret I've never been much for revolutionary hamster theory. Instead it's base trickery."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Comrade Hammy. You have our attention; do please continue."
"Well, it's like this... I suggest we send out the following letter to as many hamster owners in Geektopia as possible before the next match..."
Hello Geektopia Hamster Owner!
My name is Hammy, and I'm a hamster!
Because you like hamsters, I hope you'll like me too!
Here's a picture of me; don't I look cute while I munch on my hamster kibble?
I'm the president of the Hamster Friends of Friends of Hamsters, an organisation that encourages friendship between hamsters and friends of hamsters around the multiverse.
Oh gosh, didn't you know that we have talking top hat-wearing hyper-intelligent hamsters in the Holy Empire? Well, that's what I am!
(and just ignore those vicious rumours from hamster haters who claim that we've cast aside our top hats and instead embraced balaclavas, machine guns, and revolutionary liberation ideology; that sort of nonsense only comes from hamster haters).
Anyway, we have a special invitation to all of the hamster-loving people of Geektopia!
If you come to the Holy Empire for the second playoff match, and bring your hamster friend with you, we'll give you free entry to the match at the Imperial Hippodrome!
Gosh, won't that be exciting? You'll get free entry to one of the most famous stadiums in the multiverse, and you'll get to bring your hamster - and meet lots of hamsters who want to be friends with people who love hamsters!
So please come to the match, and please bring your hamster buddy!
We'll have so much fun together!
Hammy
President, Hamster Friends of Friends of Hamsters
"And then, when the Geektopian enslavers of hamsters are in the stadium enjoying the match, we take advantage of the distraction to liberate their hamsters!"
"Brilliant, Comrade Hammy!"
"Thank you, Comrade Gerald."
"All those in favour of immediately implementing Comrade Hammy's plan? .... By unanimous show of hamster paws, the Central Committee of the All-Hamster Revolutionary Liberation Front approves the plan. Forward to hamster victory, Comrade Hammy!
"Forward to hamster victory, Comrade Gerald!"