[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

"Brothers, I know our spirits are low after the loss to Geektopia; I know that you fear for the futures, but let us not be downhearted! We still have 90 minutes to save our campaign and qualify for the World Cup! A 1-0 loss away from home presents a challenge, but the situation is not irretrievable."

"It's just that we're getting a bit sick and tired of losing to lower-ranked sides, Comrade Gerald! 'Ere we are, supposedly the second-best team in the Multiverse, and everythink, and yet this is our sixth loss, no wot I mean?"

"Indeed I do, Comrade Toggle, which is why if we must go down - if this is to be the last match for the All-Hamster Revolutionary Liberation Front, then let it be a moment that goes down forever in the annals of hamster liberation! Comrade Hammy here has a cunning plan...."

"Thank you, Comrade Gerald. Now, this doesn't really have much to do with the precepts of Carlimarks as seen through the prism of Hermann Gerbils thought - I regret I've never been much for revolutionary hamster theory. Instead it's base trickery."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Comrade Hammy. You have our attention; do please continue."

"Well, it's like this... I suggest we send out the following letter to as many hamster owners in Geektopia as possible before the next match..."

Hello Geektopia Hamster Owner!

My name is Hammy, and I'm a hamster!

Because you like hamsters, I hope you'll like me too!

Here's a picture of me; don't I look cute while I munch on my hamster kibble?

I'm the president of the Hamster Friends of Friends of Hamsters, an organisation that encourages friendship between hamsters and friends of hamsters around the multiverse.

Oh gosh, didn't you know that we have talking top hat-wearing hyper-intelligent hamsters in the Holy Empire? Well, that's what I am!

(and just ignore those vicious rumours from hamster haters who claim that we've cast aside our top hats and instead embraced balaclavas, machine guns, and revolutionary liberation ideology; that sort of nonsense only comes from hamster haters).

Anyway, we have a special invitation to all of the hamster-loving people of Geektopia!

If you come to the Holy Empire for the second playoff match, and bring your hamster friend with you, we'll give you free entry to the match at the Imperial Hippodrome!

Gosh, won't that be exciting? You'll get free entry to one of the most famous stadiums in the multiverse, and you'll get to bring your hamster - and meet lots of hamsters who want to be friends with people who love hamsters!

So please come to the match, and please bring your hamster buddy!

We'll have so much fun together!

Hammy
President, Hamster Friends of Friends of Hamsters

"And then, when the Geektopian enslavers of hamsters are in the stadium enjoying the match, we take advantage of the distraction to liberate their hamsters!"

"Brilliant, Comrade Hammy!"

"Thank you, Comrade Gerald."

"All those in favour of immediately implementing Comrade Hammy's plan? .... By unanimous show of hamster paws, the Central Committee of the All-Hamster Revolutionary Liberation Front approves the plan. Forward to hamster victory, Comrade Hammy!

"Forward to hamster victory, Comrade Gerald!"

[Cabo Azure]

“Rex Ex Machina”, pt 10
“Sonia Vargas,” was all Manuel said when Ronnie and Alex finished their proposal. They were seated at the Siren Club in Sao Simone, one of the nation’s most exclusive venues, for lunch, and had just started on their oysters. The nearby tables were occupied with Manuel’s security detail and some of his personal staffers, all dressed in light-colored summer suits drinking water and eating seafood. Manuel knew the girls were up to something when they both asked him to meet, and he’d never been particularly good at outmaneuvering them when they worked together.

“Who?” asked Ronnie.

“First-term Assemblywoman from Sao Cristobal, chair of the sports committee, and a staunch Wolf.” The last phrase he said derisively. Though the royal family was not directly involved in politics, they were expected to advocate for certain issues, and on those issues they’d been routinely opposed by the political faction known as the Wolves. The Wolves, currently in opposition, held that Cabo Azure ought to ensure its national security through bilateral relations with the other Terranean island nations and good diplomacy with the superpowers of Nephara and Eura; to Manuel and others, that strategy sounded suspiciously like appeasement. Nevertheless, Manuel believed Sonia Vargas was the only person who could help his sisters’ hairbrained scheme.

“What has she got to do with the royal family?” Alex asked, incredulous.

“Not much,” Manuel admitted. “The Wolves are all vaguely Republican, only because all the other milquetoast islands are republics, and they think Nephara won’t invade us if we have a president instead of a king*. However, her committee has spent a lot of time and private money tracking down diasporic Azureans, ostensibly looking for athletes who are eligible to compete for us at the Olympics. Their true motives are probably a lot less patriotic, but their dataset is going to be more complete than anyone’s. If your mystery cousin exists, Sonia probably knows where he or she lives.”

“Talk me through this,” said Ronnie. “This woman, this she-Wolf, is building a list of overseas Azureans, why?”


“Because she wants them to repatriate, or at a minimum become more interested in Azurean politics,” Manuel answered. “Ever since Dr. Sequeira’s dissertation on overseas Azureans as a potential voting bloc**, there’s been an arms race of sorts to get more expats to vote. The Wolves think their politics are closer to the rest of Rushmore, while the Hedgehogs think they can whip them into a patriotic frenzy since they don’t live here and won’t suffer the consequences of restricted trade.”

“And the Bears?” asked Alex. The Bears were the smallest of Cabo Azure’s three political parties, currently part of the majority alliance with the Hedgehogs, though they disagreed on several fundamental issues. Broadly, the Bears were in favor of Azurean isolationism, the Hedgehogs believed in military alliances with Cassadaigua and Quebec, and the Wolves were in favor of stronger bilateral relations with other Terranean island nations and with the Pavolan countries (described in their literature as Cabo Azure’s “wolf pack”). The three parties’ domestic interests differed as well, though the differences between the Hedgehogs and Bears were greatly diminished on the national stage.

“The Bears are for stricter voting requirements and higher barriers to naturalization,” Manuel said. “Though they aren’t willing to break with the Hedgehogs over it. They actually have a point–the Gang of Seven watered those laws down so they could give Azurean passports to their cronies overseas. Since naturalization policy falls under foreign policy, those laws were enshrined by the agreements Mom signed with the Gang.”

Manuel and the girls’ mother, Queen Abigail, had signed a number of agreements with the Gang of Seven as part of the terms of their peaceful relinquishing of power. Most notably she had agreed that the new Azurean state would honor its international commitments, such as the treaty that had allowed Camp Canarinho to be built. These stipulations were mainly included to gain the support of neighboring Rushmori governments as well as Quebec, since they ensured that the new state could not renege on the foreign debts the Gang had accumulated during their tenure.

“So passport laws can’t be changed without a referendum?” Alex asked, recalling the terms of the agreement.

“And any changes would only be in effect going forward,” Manuel agreed. “Essentially, everyone currently alive would be grandfathered under the current rule. Hence why the Bears don’t expend much bandwidth on the issue.”

“So you’re saying this Vargas character has a database of overseas Azureans, which would include any possible claimants to the throne?” asked Ronnie.

“Not necessarily,” Manuel hedged. “After his assassination attempt, Reinaldo II attempted to do a dragnet of any possible Azurean heirs living overseas, so he could put them on ice the way he did Mom. He wasn’t successful, largely because all the royals living overseas were married into the royal families where they were living and so were protected, but anyone of royal descent who wasn’t part of a royal court somewhere would have been well advised to obscure their connection to Cabo Azure.”

“So Great Aunt Desdemona, who’s our most likely candidate to have produced a viable heir, may also have hid that she was Azurean?”

“That she was Azurean, or that her children were.”

–

“So where does this leave us?”

The question wasn’t rhetorical, but no one on the Narrative Council moved to answer. Owen Miles looked each member in the eyes, as if he could draw the answer out of them, but no luck.

“Fine, then,” he said. “I’ll tell you where. We’ve successfully created our rex ex machina. Young Solveig is out there, and the royal family is on the cusp of discovering their relation. We’ve solved the immediate problem of succession, but the question remains, where do we go from here?”

“Seems like overseas Azureans are postured to make a comeback,” offered Zora Sequeira. “There’s a lot of them, and they’re about to become a political football.”

“Domestic politics in general,” Trujillo agreed. “We haven’t seen an election since Mario lost his seat. A changing of the guard would have far-reaching consequences.”

“The royals aren’t going anywhere,” posited Janssen. “And now they’ve got a teenager in their midst. Seems Manuel might end up as a parent after all.”

“And there’s the players,” added Mario Borges. “Paulinho can’t stick around forever, and there’s ever more Azureans cropping up in leagues overseas.”

Nods went around the circle, and then silence fell. With a bang of Kinzie Schved’s gavel, the Narrative Council adjourned.

–

”Let me get this straight for a second
I’mma work, even if I don’t get paid for progression
Everything that I do is electric
I’mma keep it in motion, keep it moving like kinetic”

Bass throbbed from the ice rink’s PA system as a lone skater passed in front of the judges, transitioning from her short program to her free skate. Seated in the lower bowl of the arena, one of maybe a hundred scattered spectators, Julian couldn’t help being amazed at the precision and athleticism she displayed on skates. He’d flown to Graintfjall to scout this young woman at the behest of Sonia Vargas–had to keep his political cover happy, after all–but seeing her skate, he was surprised she wasn’t already on his list to recruit.

“Hi there, Solveig,” he said as he approached her in the stands an hour or so later. Her parents’ heads whipped around to watch him approach. “Nice job out there today. My name is Julian Chan. I represent the Cabo Azure Olympic Committee.”

“Thank you,” said Solveig, her Terranean inflected with a Graintfjaller lilt. “Thanks for coming.”

“Not a problem.” Sensing their suspicion, Julian turned his attention to Katrin and David, Solveig’s parents. “Greetings,” he said. “Did you receive our letter?”


“We did,” said David pointedly. “It was strange to hear from Cabo Azure now, in my thirties, when I’ve been an Azurean my entire life, and no one has ever reached out.”

Julian smiled. “It’s the way of things,” he said. “I’m not from Cabo Azure, either–my father is a sailor, and he is, as our people say, naufragrado. But forget about the flag for a moment. You know who I am and what I represent, which means you know what I’m offering.”

“You want Solveig to compete in the Olympics as an Azurean,” said Katrin, her voice echoing her husband’s suspicion.

“Exactly.”

“Why is Cabo Azure even competing in the Winter Games?” David asked. “It doesn’t ever snow there.”

“There’s more to Cabo Azure than Cabo Azure,” Julian explained. “Those of us who grew up overseas are trying to show what we have to offer.”

“That’s a nice way of saying ‘we have lax passport laws’,” Katrin retorted. “What’s your sport, Mr. Chan?”

“Biathlon.”

“And based on your accent, you’re Quebecois. Did you stand a chance of making the Quebecois national team in biathlon?”

“No,” Julian answered honestly. “I’m a strong skier, but my shooting is a liability, always has been.”

Julian felt his brow furrow; this wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped. Solveig kept looking between him and her parents, whose expressions grew more hostile by the second. Feeling the opportunity slip away, Julian gestured to his left, up toward the concourse.

“Can I speak to the two of you in private? Just for a moment.”

On the concourse, he reiterated his case. “That young woman has the opportunity to compete in the Olympics,” he said.”If you think she won’t resent you getting in the way of that, then you’re more optimistic than I am.”

“I don’t want to be strong-armed by my daughter and some Quebecois stranger,” David said, glowering.

“Then don’t be,” said Julian. “Here, take my card. Think it over, and let me know if you change your mind.”

Katrin and David regarded him with tight smiles and returned to their seats, where Solveig watched the next skater with detached interest. Katrin prompted her for conversation a few times, but got only monosyllables. Finally she gave in.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“I want to do it.” Solveig kept her gaze on the eyes, blue eyes tracing the path of the skater. Her expression was impassive, but Katrin could sense the heat behind her cheeks.

“Want to do what?” asked Katrin, more to buy time than anything.

“I want to skate in the Olympics for Cabo Azure,” Solveig said, as casually as if she were stating what she wanted for dinner. “And, Mom? Dad?”

“Yes, dear?” asked David, joining the conversation.

“I want to be queen of Cabo Azure someday.”

*OOC reiterating that Nepharim invasion is a political talking point, not a real danger in Cabo Azure

**See CoH 82 RP arc

[Kelssek]

Kelssek vs. Kimi-suomi preview: Pressure on to finish the job

Kelssek carries a vital advantage in the aggregate score to the second leg of their World Cup qualifying playoff against Kimi-suomi tonight. Exhibition Place in Kirkenes will hope to witness a return to the finals after missing out last cycle.

Jorge Guardia faces lineup questions. Gabriel Lapierre is back from suspension and available, but Loïc Maçon-Petrault is an injury doubt. Kelssek should have enough depth of talent to put out a lineup that should win on paper. The real questions are what the first-choice eleven will look like going forward.

It's not a given that Lapierre will slot right back into the starting eleven. The scything two-footed lunge that saw the long-time stalwart of Kelssek’s midfield get his marching orders against Koronavia has helpfully revealed the team can in fact find its way without the Galactico-longlisted veteran. Êzêkíl dí Völará had long been tipped to be Lapierre’s successor but Guardia also handed the starting role to Eamon Breault in the first leg and the results were impressive.

Breault has become a key part of the overachieving Torbay Thunder squad’s bid for a third tilt at IFCF competitions, and is being widely tipped for a big move in the coming transfer window. A strong showing at the World Cup could really launch Breault’s career and potentially catch the attention of clubs in the big leagues.

With a lot at stake, Guardia might well decide not to change a winning formula. And while no one wants to think about the possibility, qualification is a key expectation and to lose the tie after putting themselves in a favourable position would certainly mark the end of Jorge Guardia's tenure, as well as deep national sporting angst.

KIMI-SUOMI 1 – Nordström (62’)
KELSSEK 2 – Ahmad (41’), Holman (82’)
Gallagher, Buené, Lozic, Auiloquet, Holman, Breault, dí Völará (Robin 87’), Ó Tuathail (Lafrenière 63’), Hartpoach (Mann 87’), Ahmad, Maçon-Petrault (Taleb 70’)

[The Cordian Isles]

The Cordasfjord Daily

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CIFA Announces Potential Changes to League For Future Seasons

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CORDASFJORD, Cordia- The CIFA Congress meets next week for the discussion of changes to the CIFA, specifically the League portion of the CIFA’s jurisdiction. A public agenda, coupled with acknowledgement by CIFA President Thorfinn Ostlund the day following the agenda’s release. Said Ostlund: “I can say for certain that everything in there is to be discussed at the meeting, though some are more likely than others to be passed, and some issues are more urgent than others.”

So what, exactly, is on the table at the CIFA Congress meeting?

First is an issue that’s been discussed for a long time: that of the CIFA Youth League. The league, formed a couple years ago as an experiment to send teams to the IFCF Rising Stars Cup is expected to be dissolved and its players expected to play for their high school teams, and regional teams in the offseason, rather than the much more commercialized youth league that exists now. This is in concurrence with longstanding Cordian policy of having players get the experience of playing for their high school teams as a form of development. This issue is listed as one of the first items on the agenda, indicating that it is expected to be a relatively quick decision. In replacement of the CIFA Youth League, a CIFA-sponsored Summer Showcase Series is to be established, with travel teams composed of the top players from each district competing until one team is crowned champion close to the end of the summer. The championship team will then compete in the following year’s IFCF Rising Stars Cup. This is intended to give players the best education possible while still allowing them the exposure they need to reach the next level.


Second is the issue of a new domestic competition for the CIFA League, with the work in progress name being the “CIFA Shield”. A relatively minor competition compared to the League and Cup, it would allow non-qualifying IFCF sides to have a postseason, while also letting the top sides keep their players fresh with the long breaks between IFCF matches and allow their second squad to get some needed experience in less meaningful matches. All CIFA League A and B sides would participate, while the C and D sides would participate in the same kind of tournament, the “CIFA Plate”, with the same format and higher stakes as those sides rarely go to IFCF competition or earn meaningful silverware. The forty clubs would be divided into pots based on their position at season’s end, and from there drawn into eight groups of five. The top two from each group would advance to the Round of 16, and from there it’d be single-match knockouts with extra time followed by PKs. The timeline for this issue is more distant, as this is the first time we’ve heard of it, but reactions have been generally positive, and we might expect to see it in play in the next couple of years.

Third, and the final major issue, is the expansion of the league. Several regional amateur and semi-pro leagues exist in multiple tiers and there is a CIFA-run Non-League Cup. However, many clubs feel they have been left out after an odd system of determining who would enter the third through fifth tiers of the league after CIFA Season 1 left many fans wanting. The solution, many argue, is the addition of several teams to the pyramid. Many formats have been proposed, whether adding several unified tiers, adding tiers containing regionally divided leagues, or simply connecting promotion and relegation to the lower tiers, and these have also led to concerns about how this could affect the Cordia Cup. This issue sits dead-last on the agenda indicating that its discussion will take a damned long time, with several formats and their effects to consider in addition to the issue of whether to expand at all.

More on this in a week, once the meeting actually occurs and the minutes are released so that we can have a better idea of what the CIFA will look like both next season and in the far future.

[Acastanha]

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Happy New Year, Acastanha!

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In light of all the events and incidents happening these past few weeks, it's time for the Acastanhada people to stop what they do and change into a celebratory mode. Because it is time to welcome the new year. Acastanha new year is fall on this Wednesday or 2 days from now with tomorrow is the last day of the 2022 calendar. And just like any other year, people are preparing for their special night with family and the loves one. This for sure increase the domestic economy as trade is triple in the past couple of weeks.

The economic condition is quite good. People can shop freely. Inflation is in control. No price spike happened. Everyone is waiting for tomorrow.

Camila Menkes
Economy expert

Just like the previous years, new year's eve celebration will be centered in each capital city. Amarelda held the special all night music concert at the city's square which also accompanied by fireworks shows following the countdown. Arrachai is the centered of celebration in Arra Republic. A special performance will also be held including the fireworks. For Palidas Republic, Porto Espinhosa is the spotlight of new year's eve celebration. The city mayor choose the Port of Espinhosa as the location of the party. Special celebrations are also held all across the country such as in Tabeira, Bahia, Cabo do Sol, Bandar Ketam, etc.

With all the hype to the new year's eve, the government is also in changing position as election is only a few weeks away. Last night, President Joao Makarin address his new year speech to all the citizens. He remind about the hope for a better future, a better economy and a stronger union. President Makarin implicitly stressed out about the recent rumours related to the position of Arra Republic within the country. It can be seen in his statement. "...put down the differences and embrace the future together. As we are one country. One nation...". The President also congratulate to all citizens that have give every efforts to accomplished numerous achievements regionally and internationally in every field. This statement most likely referring to Acastanha sport achievement which is seen on the rise especially in football and tennis. The country had also successfully held their first NSTT sanctioned tennis event, Tabeira International. Lastly, the President point out about the upcoming election and his hope for a clean, clear and smooth election. He invite the citizens to participate in the most important political event for the country. As it will determine their future.

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Play-off
Acastanha 3-2 Drawkland

Goal:
David Gothrado
Felix Kalchankar
Plinio Adondare

Play-off
Drawkland v Acastanha
@ Drawkland

Calls up

Starter
31 GK  Santiago Karba
12 LB  Rafael Oronako
3  CB  Santiago Urupao
16 CB  Dionisio Leimanki
4  RB  Jorge Vidshav (C)
17 LM  Lisandro Turtapa
6  CM  Plinio Adondare
20 CM  Nóe Brinanko
9  RM  David Gothrado
10 ST  David Yushankar
11 AT  Felix Kalchankar
Substitute
23 GK  Armando Padia
33 GK  Tiago Kalabar
13 LB  Manuel Savalor
2  CB  David Erunde
27 RB  Casimiro Urinjane
7  LM  Pedro Ustankar
8  CM  Igor Erdagh
28 RM  Andre Aramde
22 ST  Manuel Brandas

[Delte]

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Delte 4-4 Eura
Sports Correspondent Polka Lunn at Ildemorton Road for the Oswark Parish Advertiser

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I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, but certainly mention should be made of Kim Samrodd's brilliant performance at rightback, where he helped to limit the mighty Owens to a measly four goals scored and virtually marked Adam Woodman out of the game. Add a couple of marauding counter-attacks to his game, one assist and cross-shot headed in for an own-goal by the luckless Lucy Almwood, and this was something of a player of the match performance in a shock result that keeps The Representatives still in contention with the final leg of play-offs to go. Now it is over to The Away Team to perform another Miracle in Sarzonia, only this time in Eura. Can it be done?

Of course not.

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Old Wives' Gala Queen Election Special
Apprentice Political Reporter Percy Eldny at the Women's Institute in Rake Teinton

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More drama at the WI as disgraced former Gala Queen Verdella Turver flew back early from a holiday in Taxhavn to stand for the hastily rearranged election. With Mrs. Rana Taughtpurse standing down just hours after taking up the crown in a comprehensive victory over Betty Ormray, when it was revealed her self-raising flour had crashed, some members of the WI seemed ready to overlook all of Verdella's past misdemeanours in charge of the Old Wives Gala, no matter how scurrilous. In Rake Teinton village hall the town elders were stunned that Verdella could be back in charge so soon after being unceremoniously ousted. "It's a matter of forgive and forget," said one Verdella supporter. "Its a matter of bloody Alzheimer's, if you ask me," came the riposte. But by the time she got back to Rake Teinton, Verdella seemed to have had a change of heart. "Now is not the time," she said, ominously.

Losing candidate Betty Ormray looks set to take the Gala Queen crown after all then, with a record zero votes in the last election and no-one looking to stand in opposition. "Her peanut butter jelly cheesecake wasn't so bad," said one voter.

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Ready Player 11: Kim Samrodd
Vignettes of The Representatives

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Rightback, age 29, for Oswark Town; Anglican Lit. teacher - "Stop that, Ackerbell, right now! Mungo Skage, put Eldny down this minute and return to your desk! Enroe, Buchan, Serque - see me after please. Detentions for you all. Right then, open your books to page 93 - shut up Buchan! - 'Scuttled' by Martin Costello, a classic of the Shambolic Tradition. Eldny: read please. Everyone else, listen or be doomed to Professor Polestar's office, I don't mind which, you choose. Eldny - carry on." Assigned reporting duties for The Representatives for away matches in World Cup '91 by the Oswark Parish Advertiser after regular sports correspondent Polka Lunn heard the Baptism of Fire was going to be held in Farfadillis and 'unfortunately' misplaced her passport, the Oswark Grammar School teacher proved an instant hit both on and off the field. He even made the top ten sports reporters global list and was the centre of a gender scandal when his identity was stolen for the award ceremony in Mertagne, where he won a little silver teste on a cocktail stick for his efforts as rightback of the tournament. It seemed the world was his oyster until he caught the jerry - hypergerontological ageing syndrome - and was banned from travelling abroad again until scientists in the Delte Valley had isolated the problem and come up with a solution. "Mungo Skage, I swear, if you don't keep your hands to yourself I'll be dangling you out the window upside down to get some sense into that thick head of yours! And stop cheering, everyone, of course I'm not going to hang him out the window. Hattie Serque, take over from Eldny please. Pick up from 'This is ridiculous...' - paragraph three. And stop moaning about it. Eldny - good effort lad, well done. MUNGO! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?" This cycle had certainly been a quieter one for the best rightback in the valley, relieved of his reporting duties and able to concentrate on some standout performances in the home team for a surprisingly competitive qualification campaign. Though disappointed to lose his reporting duties he at least still had his teaching role to fall back on. "Ackerbell, go outside and get Mungo, take him to the school nurse, and tell her he fell out of the window of his own volition. I'll let you off detention if you keep me out of it. Hattie Serque - please continue with the reading. A little less sarcasm in your voice, if you don't mind."

[Audioslavia]

Styrn: "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Squorned"
RJ ‘Up for Fight’, but History Weight Heavily on Bulls

Once again, home fans were left disconsolate by an ineffective performance from the men in claret and green, as Squornshelan Remnant States followed Tikariot and Graintfjall in defeating the national team on our home turf. Defeat to a team bearing the Squornshelous name is a bitter pill to swallow for any Audioslavian two-hundred years old, but even more terrifying is the prospect of not qualifying for the World Cup for the second time in a row - something unprecedented for a Bulls side in the top twenty of the world rankings.

Audioslavia’s record in the World Cup playoffs is strong, having defeated Halfassedstates to make World Cup 17, Iansisle 4-0 and 1-0 to make World Cup 21, Sameba 4-2 and 4-1 for WC68, Juvencus 6-3 and 1-1 for World Cup 81 and Darmen 2-1 and 2-0 for our last playoff in World Cup 86. The side have lost only twice in previous playoffs. Most recently, a 1-0 away win against Abanhfleft was overturned 3-2 at home to make for a humiliating non-qualification. The one other defeat came way back in World Cup 5 - remember that, anybody? - with a 2-1 defeat to Moyk.

Any time Audioslavia have lost one leg of a playoff, they have failed to qualify. It doesn’t bode well.

With the historical doomsaying out of the way, here’s why Audioslavia are actually in danger of dropping into the Cup of Harmony.

Over the course of qualifying, RJ Styrn has categorically failed to find the best formula for success going forward.

In defence, Flat and Volonte have renewed their partnership with vigour, the Shamrock bruiser and the former Cazadores centre-half complementing each other well, ahead of Creighton’s shot-stopping prowess and protected by Munir and Stelea, Audioslavia have looked solid defensively. On the flanks, Durán and Mata-Curie are more defensive-minded than previous full-backs, which further shores up the Bulls’s defences.

Up front though, it’s a different story.

In Helios Roy and Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta, Audioslavia have two young yet accomplished forward men. Roy the fox-in-the-box, Hielscher-Zendagorta the rangy all-action workhorse. In previous years, or for other teams, they might have started games side by side, but Styrn’s rigid adherence to 4-5-1 - bizarre given the efficacy of her own strike-partnership with Espiridon Caszely as a player, for both Red Star Severny and the national team - means the onus is on the midfield and the wingers to provide goalscoring opportunities. That aspect of the game has been lacking.

Unai Cappadonna, most effective as the glamorous assistant to Lothaire Cromwell’s jobbing magician, has not been able to stamp his authority on games despite the midfield support of Stelea and Munir, the former preferring to hit Hollywood balls from deep and the latter basically a spare centre-half. On the wings, Patron no longer seems to have the energy to get into the right place at the right time, while Briareo simply hasn’t provided the right ball often enough on the myriad occasions he does get down that right hand flank.

The Bulls have forced their way past weaker opposition - although not often enough to merit even an attempt at qualifying automatically - but have come up well short when the likes of Tikariot and world champions Graintfjall have come calling.

At to that the fact that Squornshelan Remnant States are in the middle of an undefeated streak - a draw-heavy one, but a streak nonetheless - and things don’t bode well for the Bulls.

Last cycle, Styrn took a disjointed side that had finished fourth in their groups and won the Cup of Harmony with them, promising to kick on to the Big Cup. Her side have so far flattered to deceive, and at the end of the day the reason the squad seems so disjointed may just be down to Styrn’s lack of skill as a coach. Should Audioslavia fail to navigate the Remnants in the return game, it’s unclear whether she’ll even be allowed to continue on to the Cup of Harmony. Continued failure to qualify would simply be disastrous. You don’t have to look far to see evidence of big teams that have fallen into an irretrievable decline. Audioslavia’s qualifying group included an Astograth side thirty cycles past their peak, while Squornshelan Remnant States easily navigated the likes of Bongo Johnson, South Covello and Sargossa, three teams who would once have been expected to qualify comfortably. Bongo Johnson, for example, won their qualifying groups in cycles 82 and 83, finished fifth in 84 and 10th in 85. They haven’t troubled the top half of a qualifying group since.

Whichever way you look at it, Audioslavia must win. Away from home. Against a team on an undefeated streak who haven’t lost a competitive home international since a defeat to Banija on matchday two of qualifying for the last World Cup. Having defeated Electrum 1-0 over two legs in the playoffs for World Cup 91, they have experience in keeping the head in vital playoffs.

Styrn has been, well, stern, in interviews. While refusing to be pressed on whether she might at last adopt a system with two up front - 4-4-2 might even be the most natural formation for this squad, dropping Cappadonna in favour of the extra striker and experimenting more on the wings - has said that the gloves will be off for the return leg. Audioslavia, she says, will not be exiting another World Cup as meekly as last time.

Can Audioslavia ensure Squornshelan Remnant States bookend an impressive qualifying campaign with upset defeats? If not, it may be Styrn’s job on the line. And regardless, the Cup of Harmony is looking like it may be ridiculously strong this year.

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

After a wacky 10-10-0 group stage was completed, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia could now forget about most things. No more group permutations, goal differences to worry about or anything to do with "group record" or "points gaps". No...it was playoff time and over two games, TJUN-ia and Sendhang must battle in a Pot 3 duel for a WC spot. David Seems has certainly been through a lot in this cycle, what with Li Xiu Ying currently preparing for her due date and taking the reign of this team solo as a consequence, but he has done a brilliant job thus far in dragging this TJUN-ia team into 2nd in a tough group with that wacky undefeated record and all. 10-10-0 can say many things about a team, but the fact that TJUN-ia were about to enter Game 21 and they still hadn't lost at all yet was just remarkable in of itself. No matter what, this WCQ journey has been very interesting...but things weren't over just yet.

Game 1 against The Rice Farmers would go down at the Federal Stadium, or Stadium Persekutuan as the locals call it, and the 40,000-capacity arena would certainly be packed for proceedings in Kambang. We knew little about Teuku Irfan or his defensive system before this tie was announced but considering Sendhang is a fellow Pot 3 side, we certainly had to take them seriously if we wanted to make our way back to the promised land. This game would certainly be a tight one, as you might expect from a WCQ Playoff where one team was looking for a 2nd WC appearance and the other their 1st. Both teams were desperate to be given that chance and it certainly showed in the first half, with both teams making their goalkeepers (Maximilian Robertson and Albertus Wageo) work very hard to keep the game scoreless after the first 45. The Jaguars entered the 2nd half knowing that getting an away goal may become important in the fixture overall and as such, they pushed for that goal...which they got through Malhrani al-Kalhrani in the 66th. But Sendhang wasn't going to just allow us to just walk away with an effective 2-gaol advantage (if that even exists) and as such, they managed to pull back the tie in the 70th thanks to a strike from Keylar Samoi. The rest of the game saw both sides push for any advantage they could but in the end, the result stuck with what it was. 1-1 the final score, all even unless the away goals rule is in effect for this tie.

And so now...we head home again, hoping to avoid another WCQ heartbreak at the National Stadium. We've won WC deciders at this ground before, WC90 being the glorious example, but playoff 2nd legs...not so. Siovanija and Teusburg is a name that many of us don't want to remember, losing 8-8 on the away goals rule making an infinite amount of hearts break at once.
No one wants heartbreak again. Not after everything this nation, this team and these individuals have been through over this campaign.
We have to win this one. For everyone's sake.
We cannot become the meme once more. We must break these chains.
Playoffs have been a pest in our football history. That cannot persist any longer.
WE MUST FIGHT!
GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 14)
MD1: vs Talannua (227) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town W 4-2 (T-2nd)
MD2: @Qasden (80) D 3-3 (4th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD3: vs Saltstead (95) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo W 3-0 (2nd)
MD4: @Sixty-ninE X (UR) W 4-2 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD5: vs Ziwana (146) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville D 2-2 (2nd)
MD6: @Cap Nord (176) - SendBank Arena, Stennköping D 3-3 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD7: BYE (3rd)
MD8: vs Cabo Azure (60) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong D 2-2 (5th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD9: @Ancherion (113) W 2-0 (4th)
MD10: vs Mytanija (19) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 2-2 (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD11: @Tumbra (4) D 0-0 (3rd)
MD12: @Talannua (227) - Castaic High School, Castaic D 2-2 (4th)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD13: vs Qasden (80) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 6-2 (4th)
MD14: @Saltstead (95) W 2-1 (2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD15: vs Sixty-ninE X (UR) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa W 1-0 (1st)
MD16: @Ziwana (146) - Ziwanicell National Stadium, Birnin-Likulu D 3-3 (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD17: vs Cap Nord (176) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 4-1 (2nd)
MD18: BYE (3rd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD19: @Cabo Azure (60) D 3-3 (3rd)
MD20: vs Ancherion (113) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico W 7-1 (T-2nd)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD21: @Mytanija (19) - Radnika, Esca D 1-1 (T-2nd)
MD22: vs Tumbra (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 2-0 (2nd/10-10-0/40pts/+26GD)
--------------------------------------------
Playoff vs Sendhang (46/3rd in Group 11)
Leg 1 (@Federal Stadium, Kambang): D 1-1
Leg 2 (@National Stadium, TJUN-ia City):

[Cassadaigua]

Drivers; Royalty respond to TJUN-ia news,
by Kelsey LeClair, Concord Heights Times, Current Events

Sports often can bring together communities as people from various cities join forces to root for their team against opposing cities. International sports can take that a step further, as they bring most citizens of a nation together to root for their homeland against other nations. It’s competitive, and provides a great to learn about other countries in the process. What is less common is for sports to set the international policies of a nation, but this appears to be what is happening in TJUN-ia right now.

A NSSCRA race was held in this nation, with the Cassadagan contingent of drivers showing their national pride even when they are hired by other nations. Previously, in a World Cup qualifying match, a TJUN-ian citizen engaged in the practice of burning a Cassadagan flag, and the populace of the nation seemed to strongly be showing their support of the terrorist organization known as The River Republic. The Cassadagan drivers, as well as some others that are close to them, agreed that they would not participate in any of the activities surrounding the race, which would include the classic Jungle Fever event after the race. This became even more noticeable when Cassadagan Stacie Houston won the race, but would not be present to receive her crown as “Queen of the Jungle”. Race organizers did not feel as though it was fair for their venue to be used as a basis of the quiet protest, and felt that were being punished for something out of their control. In a way, they were right, and Stacie Houston and company did their best to try and make it known that they had nothing against Jaguar Racing, as an entity, their leadership, or any of their drivers. Houston would receive her crown from teammate Thea Alvarez, and posted a video to her Spacebook page thanking Jaguar Racing for everything they did for the race while wearing the crown.

However, the win of Houston swept through the nation of TJUN-ia in a way that many did not think would happen. The nation and it’s leadership would issue a strong and sincere apology for the anti-Cassadaigua rhetoric that has been happening, but also declaring that they will be returning to a period of neutrality as a nation. While Houston and the other NSSCRA drivers made pleasant responses to the decree of The Jaguar and seemed encouraged that things can get back to where they were between us and TJUN-ia, this was far more reaching than what the opinions of professional athletes may be. Both Princess Brianna and Queen Cassie III made statements on the matter.

Princess Brianna’s statement: “We are glad that the nation of TJUN-ia wishes to look to the future and move on from the past and we could not agree any more with them. We need to move forward and we will work together with their leadership to restore any and all damaged components of our international relationship while respecting the wishes of their nation to return to a period of neutrality.”

Queen Cassie III’s statement: “I have been and will continue to be in private communication with the leadership of TJUN-ia. It is a great nation, and we can all understand that mistakes and slip ups can occur along the way. However, you cannot be stuck in the past and you must move forward into the future. The nation of TJUN-ia is now doing this, just like we are doing within our home country. We hope that the international community as a whole can also use this as an example to understand that we must move forward. We have made mistakes, too, but we have made efforts, and they are strong efforts, to make right what has happened. There are some out there who wish to live in the past, and want to use the past for political motivations such as destroying the Cassadagan monarchy. They know who they are. I can only hope that they can follow the lead of TJUN-ia and understand that we now need to move forward.”


Well, at least the offense woke up,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

As the second half tail spin for the Fillies progressed in World Cup qualifying, we watched the struggles of key offensive pieces to get the job done on the field. They weren’t scoring, with the slumps of Rachel Bolden and Morgan Rosenblatt being the most concerning. Bayley Stanton also was not getting the job done and Chloe Anderson did not score a goal for the entire second half. She missed a lot of that time with injury but when she returned, she was still kept off the scoresheet. The one thing that was going right for the pink and black was the defense was still playing good soccer and they were getting good goalkeeping. The final game, a 4-2 loss to Nephara sent Cassadaigua to the playoff, and we are still glad we had the opportunity, but it was the first defensive dud that this team put together. Given that the Cormorants were the opponents, you didn’t want to overreact to that all that much, but it did lead to fans criticizing manager Brittany Byers pretty aggressively. Many feel that she will be sacked if the team fails to qualify for the World Cup. It is probable that CASE would not make that decision until after the Cup of Harmony, because that is just the way they operate historically. However, I am not so sure that would be the case for CASE, because the organization would not want the team to rebound well in the Cup of Harmony and then have Byers use that as justification for why she would be brought back. I personally believe, that if the team failed to qualify, that the decision will be made right away, and someone will at least be given an “interim” label for the Cup of Harmony.

The team, however, is still alive. There are fifteen World Cup spots that are still available through the playoff. We have seen this system in many recent World Cups, but this is the first time that the Fillies have been involved in one of these for as long as I can immediately remember. The team has done a very good job of qualifying outright, or in the case of the last World Cup, they underachieved so much that they did not even get into the playoffs. We know how this works, but it can be very stressful for the fans. If the offense did not wake up, then there is no way that this head to head matchup with a good opponent in Poafmersia would go well.

Dagan Airways Stadium in Concord Heights was sold out, and fans were ready to cheer. Seven minutes in, they were able to erupt as Rachel Bolden got the team on the board quickly after finishing off a great pass from Chloe Anderson. Oh, that was really nice to see. But the Red Panjias would strike back. And yes, if you were wondering, they also have a “horse” themed name. However, just five minutes later, there was nothing “bad” about Michael Jackson’s midfield ability with a true thriller of a pass (for his fans) to Jordan Huerta, to which the latter capitalized on to make it 1-1. Fans in the stadium were disappointed with how easily the play seemed to happen, but they wouldn’t start booing the defense until the 23rd minute, when a similar set up happened, this time finished off by Janelle Frederick, to make it 2-1 in favor of the visitors.

With as much as the offense had been struggling, there is no way the team was going to survive sloppy play both in the middle of the field or in the defensive end. However, in the 34th minute, Morgan Rosenblatt did well to hook up with Chloe Anderson to tie the game at two. At last Chloe! Finally! By her large smile, you could really see how relieved she was to finally get back on the scoresheet. It should have led to momentum for the Fillies, and most definitely not for a Leontiy Seet goal in the 39th minute to make it 3-2 Poafmersia. Again sloppy defense. Making it very frustrating that the strong area down the stretch was being carved up in this manner. At least the Fillies got a Bayley Stanton goal in the second minute of first half injury time to tie the match at three at the intermission.

With 45 minutes left to play, and the game tied at three the team could still feel glad that they had the upper hand but in the stands, fans were uneasy. Even if they were to survive this game, and the playoff in general, the team could not play like this in the World Cup and expect to have success. Once the second half began, the offense was in sync, and Morgan Rosenblatt got her name on the scoresheet in the 55th minute. With that goal, each of the team’s main scoring threats had found the back of the net, and that was definitely a positive. What was not a positive was that the lead only stood for eleven minutes when Huerta picked up their second of the match. Some boos cascaded from the stands following the goal, and soon we began to hear some chants of “Fire Brittany”. However, the team was not going to give in, and in the 79th minute, Chloe Anderson’s second of the match would be the deciding goal, but not before Poafmersia had several good opportunities late. This would include Leontiy Seet hitting the goal post in the 87th minute.

For this game, Cassadaigua had survived with a 5-4 win, but in the playoff format, even one that does not use “away goals”, that’s still not something that is going to make you feel comfortable. It’s better than the alternative, but the team is going to have to be completely in sync at Libira National Stadium or else they will be Cup Of Harmony bound again. It’s been a while since we had a match where we could say they played a solid 60 minutes on both sides of the ball. That must happen in Poafmersia.

[Kimi-Suomi]

WCQ Playoff Football has arrived at Pesä. Mitä helvettiä tämä todellisuus on? The fact that we, Pot 5 Kimi-Suomi, have managed to make it to Games 21 and 22 is certainly a surprise from most of this Kingdom's pre-season expectations...but here we are, fighting it out against Kelssek for the right to go to a fucking World Cup. The fact we are even in this situation in the first place is just a testament to how well Esko Laaksonen and his team have managed in pulling off this remarkable run...but two games remained and the "Nordic Canadians", which apparently means "cold but kind", were in our house.

Kimi Kaupunki certainly turned up for one of the most important games it has ever hosted and you better believe that they were loud all day and willing to back this team to hell and back. This atmosphere certainly made this game feel like a huge fucking and both Esko and Jorge Guardia certainly knew that and played their games accordingly. As the more experienced and statistically "better" team, the Voyagers were the masters of the early tried to break Kauko Loukamaa's resistance on multiple occasions. The dam would finally burst in the 41st when Thor Ibrahim Ahmad managed to break the deadlock and the 1-0 lead would stand heading into halftime. The 2nd half would see more of a concerted response from the Huuhkajat, backed by a ravenous crowd and a mantra of trying to overcome Cathal Gallagher at all costs to make this tie all the more interesting. The pressure was back and forth for a while until the 61st when Valtteri Nordström found a way through to tie up the game and send a crowd into a frenzy. The rest of this game continued to build on the pressure as both sides push for a key goal to send back to the East Pacific...and in the end, the one to get that goal would turn out to be Curtis Holman in the 81st minute. Kelssek would win 2-1, but the home fans applauded their heroes anyway.

This is far from over. Kelssek may have the 2-1 lead heading into Exhibition Place in Kirkenes, but being only a goal down (with away goals to potentially deal with) is not the worst situation to be in heading into a 2nd leg on the road. It's going to be tricky, no one is doubting that for a second, but it's also not outside of the realm of possibility.
There is still a chance. Vielä on mahdollisuus.
The WC is so close right now...we can almost taste it.
No matter what, we are certainly proud of this team.
But if we are going to die, then we shall fall with our swords in our hands.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

[Drawkland]

When Plinio Adondare fired an upper corner shot past Septimus Xander, the atmosphere in Estádio da Unidade Nacional resembled a party. The goal gave Acastanha a 3-1 lead in the first leg of the playoff, with a little over ten minutes left to play in regulation. As the Arrows and their fans celebrated on that end of the stadium, the Elite Eleven quickly conferenced around midfield.

"It's not looking good, fellas." Richard Hanson put his hands on his hips after stating the obvious.

"To hell with that!" Jaxon beckoned the rest of the boys (besides Septimus, who was still sulking in the net) to huddle up with him. "Listen, we're in a shit spot right now, but we still have more than 90 minutes left. Time check?"

"It's more like 100 minutes, maybe 110 with injury time." Elias Keys reported immediately.

"So we've got 100 minutes to make something happen!" Roger Apollo, as the designated captain for the soccer squad arrangement, took over. "We may not be walking out of here with a win, or even a draw, but we've got a shot to keep it close. They've still got to show up to The Vet and make something happen. If we're only behind one goal, the pressure is on them. They think that we're going to lay down and take it,"

"Phrasing!" somebody quipped.

"...but we're not going to do that!" Roger tried to ignore the snickers rippling through the group. "We're going to stick it to them and come back to Drawkland with momentum. You hear me?"

"I hear you!" Mike Rodney spoke up first. "Let's do Press 11b!"

"You're up for that?" Roger cocked an eyebrow in response. A couple other guys muttered in dissent.

"Hell yes. I want this moment. I need this moment." Mike tightened his fists, then looked over the group's shoulders. "Hey, we're out of time, let's get back out there!"

The Elite Eleven had to disperse, as Acastanha was about ready for play to resume. The squad had a couple dozen specific sequences and plays that they put together for specific moments when they needed a goal, apply certain pressure, or defend a specific press from the opposition. Press 11b, which Mike had just requested, was one that would theoretically get the ball to him with an open shot at the goal. The only problem is that Mike had a tendency to sail the ball over the net and give the ball back to the opponent, which would be a near death blow this late in the game. That's if the defense even gets caught in the play to begin with.

With so little time to conference, though, Mike's confidence and bravado won out, and the Elite had no choice but to let this fall on his shoulders, if the play worked out. It's silly to think about, since the Corps was already down two goals and a win was essentially impossible, but the difference between a one-goal margin and a two-goal margin in a playoff is immense. Just ask the Elite about the Milchama playoff ...

The whistle blew, play resumed, and the Elite immediately rushed into the play. With so little time on the clock and any goal a necessity, they left only Nicholas Kingston and Septimus Xander to defend while the rest pressed past midfield to fully pressure Acastanha.

"Good God, are they going with Press 11?" Septimus called to Nicholas standing a few yards away.

"Yup. Not my decision, of course." Nicholas shrugged, and jogged a little closer to midfield.

The precious minutes ticked away, and the Elite kicked their play into action. Pass over, pass back, pass in, pass out, pass over again. They were moving and molding the Acastanha defense, praying the opening would come. Mike Rodney got the ball a couple times but passed it on since he had no opening. The time continued to tick, and the Arrow defense refused to yield.

Then the opening came.

Jaxon took a sudden run towards the goal, and though Acastanha's defense was solid, they swarmed to keep him away from the center of the box. He faked a huge shot, then tapped the ball sideways to the waiting Mike Rodney. Mike didn't have a great angle, but he knew this would be his only shot. With the ball not even to him yet, he reared back and spanked the ball as soon as it reached his feet.

It shot up and tailed a bit to the right. Karba was pulled away by Jaxon's fake and just barely couldn't get over in time. Bang, Drawkland goal, and the lead was halved.

The Elite celebrated like they accomplished something, and managed to hold the rest of the game until the final whistle. Being down one goal wasn't exactly an advantage, but it was better than nothing. Now if only they could really show up in Sadeg for the second leg ...

[Mytanija]

Jezdimir Ocokoljic, it felt like, had almost been born scoring goals. His longevity was exceptional. His impact on Mytanar football near enough unparalleled. He also wasn’t getting any younger and in much the same way as his best friend Jasno Odonelec had constantly been asked about retiring from international football towards the latter days of his Mytanija career, Ocokoljic was starting to be asked about when he might pull on the green-and-white hoops of his country for the very last time. His answer was always the same, that he would play for his country for as long as he felt able to. He still felt fit, he felt his game would translate well even if his turn of pace deserted him and he was still scoring goals – both for club and country.

Moving back to Newrook City had been a blessing in disguise for him. He was much nearer home, back in Rushmore rather than Atlantian Oceania, something which hadn’t been an enormous consideration when he was younger, but which had become a big pull once he had entered his thirties. His first season back at the club where he held iconic status had been difficult, but he had enjoyed it. For the very first time in his career, he had played for a side battling against relegation, it was a different challenge, and he didn’t mind playing at that level with City. The supporters adored him and he wanted to give them the results that they deserved.

Playing for Mytanija was always the same. He had a status which few others had, a hero to every Mytanar, crossing ethnic and regional divides due to his ethereal footballing ability. He always relished the chance to play for his country. It was also very rewarding playing alongside some of the younger strikers coming through the ranks, Fran Prpic-Bosanac had become something of a protégé; Drazen Skara and Milica Prokopljevic were completely different types of strikers, bigger and more physically imposing, but he could still teach them a thing or two about movement and the appreciation of space and timing. They appreciated his guidance too, almost pinching themselves at the opportunity to learn their trade from the greatest Mytanar striker ever, a man who had scored over 100 goals in the Hoops.

Here, at Radnika, he had scored so many that it was difficult to remember specifics about any single one. Mytanija’s nominal national stadium, located in the heart of Esca, was definitely one of his favourite stadiums. He had enjoyed playing there for Crvena Zvezda and Atletik Thessia, as away sides against 1923 Esca, and with the national team he had played a role in pivotal qualifiers which brought Mytanija back to the World Cup. For many reaching that level again had seemed rather far-fetched – the Mytanar Conflict and its aftermath, years of poverty and attempts at reconstruction, had made football seem rather trivial.

Ocokoljic had helped the sport return to its status as the most important thing out of all the unimportant things in life. And here he was, once again, showing that he could still be the one to make the decisive contribution for Mytanija in an important fixture. A qualification play-off against Pasarga had made everybody involved in Mytanar football wince, an all-Rushmori encounter was never easy and the Pasargans had always had a decent record against the Hoops. Kitanchev’s team had rather spluttered over the line, only securing 3rd in the group by a point after a draw against TJUN-ia and a 5-4 loss to Cabo Azure. The Azureans still seemed to have Mytanija’s number, a bad omen for another Rushmori derby against Pasarga.

And yet Mytanija were 1-0 up early in the second-half, a well-worked move down the left had seen Gavril Atsev play Nemanja Ovcina in at the by-line and Ovcina’s low cross evaded almost everybody except for Jezdimir Ocokoljic loitering at the back post. A touch to trap the ball and a stabbed finish under Tomas Pribyl saw the ball hit the back of the net and Radnika erupt. The atmosphere had been good prior to the match, the FSM able to delay sanction for hooliganism in Cap Nord until after the decisive play-off, but that goal lifted the roof off the stadium. Ocokoljic had calmly turned around, shrugged and raised his arms as if to ask the crowd ‘what do you expect?’

His movement was causing Pasarga problems, too. Damien Gannot had grown into a much more complete forward over the course of his career after growing up very much in the Ocokoljic mould, as a false nine. He was now much more adept physically and he was happy to give the Pasargan centre-backs a hard time. It almost needed both Szolosi and Sarrazin to deal with Gannot and that created space for Ocokoljic to exploit, especially given Mytanija’s numerical superiority in the centre of midfield, a three versus two at all times was causing issues for Sebeok and Karpaty. Kuhar-Arh dropping in to support Atsev and Smajic was a Kitanchev decision straight out of the Lev Repin playbook.

It would be this three versus two which Mytanija would exploit. Karpaty was given the ball on the halfway line, almost on the half-turn and ready to take Pasarga up the pitch, but instantly Mersudin Smajic was in to snap at the ball, and he managed to get a touch on it to bobble it away from Karpaty’s control. Omer Kuhar-Arh was there to challenge Karpaty from the other direction and managed to touch the ball away for Gavril Atsev. Atsev was always happy to think quickly, something which endeared him to Kitanchev who liked his sides to play very direct football. Ocokoljic knew that as soon as Atsev got the ball that he would have to make a run, either towards Atsev to get the ball into feet or in behind the defence to try to get through on goal.

Gannot, usually the one to run in behind as he moved away from the false nine play of his younger days, was dropping in to get the ball to feet. Ocokoljic knew that meant he would have to go in behind, so he tried to bend his run to keep himself in line with the centre-halves and hoped for the best. Atsev hit a weighted pass with his instep, looping the bouncing ball over both Szolosi and Sarrazin and suddenly Ocokoljic’s run looked like an inspired choice. He had timed it beautifully and if he could get his touch right then he would be through on goal, although with his waning speed the defenders may be able to recover. The crowd collectively held its breath.

There should have been no doubt that Ocokoljic would get his touch right, chesting the bouncing pass down in front of him and bringing it under control. He could feel Szolosi closing in, so brought the ball across the defender and onto his right foot. Pribyl was coming out to close the angles down, Ocokoljic would have to shoot soon, he looked down towards the ball, planted his left boot in the grass and feigned as if to lash the ball beyond him.

Pribyl might have expected to see the ball fly past him, but instead he could only watch as it looped over his head, turning to see it bounce once on the six-yard line before bouncing over the line and into the net. Ocokoljic this time allowed a wide grin to cross his face, spread his arms out wide and allowed Radnika’s adulation to flow over him. 2-0. A result they would have bitten your hand off beforehand. A result which would leave them in a strong position ahead of the second leg.

[Sendhang]

---

---

Sendhang hunt for goal in TJUN-ia

Kambang: Sendhang shouted an early warning that they will rise in the second leg of the playoff stage in the World Cup qualification campaign to qualify for the World Cup stage for the first time in history at the National Stadium, TJUN-ia City, this weekend.

The confidence was voiced by the head coach, Teuku Irfan - by insisting that his players will perform better in the return action, despite being tied 1-1 with TJUN-ia at the Federal Stadium, Kambang here, last night.

Although TJUN-ia got the advantage of the away goal, for Teuku Irfan, it is not impossible for them to change the result in the second leg of the playoff.

"If they can score here, our players can do the same, no problem and I don't think it's impossible," he said in a press conference after the match.

Teuku Irfan said that the TJUN-ia players managed to defend their goal very well but he will still not make drastic tactical changes even though they will face tremendous pressure from the home team who are playing in front of their own supporters.

"I think it's a fair result, both teams played well. The players have tried but tonight is not our night. We didn't have the luck to create more scoring opportunities. Anyway, we still have 90 minutes. Maybe our luck will be better in TJUN-ia. We'll see how it goes," he said.

Meanwhile, Teuku Salahudin believes TJUN-ia will feel the pressure more in the return leg. The striker who is currently playing his club football in Pemecutan with Perseman Kesiman said that although TJUN-ia had a slight advantage after the first match was tied 1-1, he believed that The Rice Farmers are still capable of causing an upset.

"The challenge is still difficult but in football, anything can happen, I don't think there is any pressure on us, the most important thing is that we forget the opponent's goal. To me, TJUN will feel the pressure more because they are the favorite to win. We have nothing to lose, we just go there to do our best and enjoy the match," he said.

[Flavovespia]

Yuezhou 1 - 1 Flavovespia

Flavovespia played out a score draw in Yuezhou to leave their playoff tie fully in the balance before the return leg on home soil. A performance that wasn’t perfect and was certainly nervy in parts, but at least enough to not give away an advantage in the two-legged tie.

Despite the loss to Jeruselem, the only change for Flavovespia was Paul Taylor coming in for Daniel Lansdell. As the game kicked off, there was a sense this seemed to be tge right call, with Taylor looking commanding at the back alongside Stuart Cookson, repelling early attacks. Flavovespia themselves were more cautious in attack, maybe sensing that not conceding early was key.

A chance fell to Flavovespia in the 24th minute, when a clumsy header back fell into the path of Michael Cole. He attempted to take the ball around Zhao Deliang, but the goalkeeper got a hand to the ball before Michael Cole went sprawling. Appeals for a penalty were in vain, the goalkeeper clearly got contact on the ball.

The first half didn’t see a huge amount of clear chances after that for either side. Yuezhou had more of the possession, but Flavovespia were used to that style of play. The threat of the counter attack prevented Yuezhou from being too committed in numbers in attack, and the first half finished goalless.

It was just a few minutes into the second half when the opener was scored by Flavovespia. A quick ball into the box by Jonathan Bagshaw took a deflection from an attempted clearance, and fell at the feet of Robert Totten. He kept his shot down and sent it flying into the net from just inside the box.

The impetus was now on Yuezhou to get back into the game, they really didn’t want to carry a deficit into their game in Flavovespia. Within a few minutes, they’d forced a corner via a long-range shot, and at the corner, headed the ball straight at Aarif Muhammad when putting it either side would’ve likely seen a goal. Certainly for much of the second half, but for a few brief spells it seemed an equaliser was more likely than a second for Flavovespia.

Yuezhou made their sustained pressure count in the 80th minute. With plenty in the box, a floated cross went over the head of everyone more central, including Aarif Muhammad. Jiang Jieren running in at the back post beat David Blythe, and headed the ball into the net, keeping it low and out of reach of the backpedalling Aarif Muhammad. The game was all tied up again, with 10 minutes to go. Both sides had

In the end the result was fair given the performances on display. In some respects Flavovespia as a higher ranked side and away in the first match could feel slightly happier with the result. However they’ll absolutely take nothing for granted, as the return leg in the Hornet’s Nest could be one of Flavovespia’s most tense games ever.

[Delaclava]

DELACLAVA 1-2 Græntfjall
Lindblad 53' |
Rodriguez; Baxayev, Champagne, Gouin, Barry; Bartoš, Romeijn (Zaitsev 68'), Tudor (Lindblad 46'), Martin, Anagnakis (Kovalev 46'); Meyer.

Same story, different day. Different context, too. Same ending, hopefully.

For the second consecutive cycle, the Delaclava soccer team had reached the qualification playoffs, 180 minutes or so away from making it to the premier competition of the game. For the second time, Delaclava had been third in their group; they would be the lower seed, they would play first.

Again, they were punching well above their weight - then it was Eura, now it was the defending World Cup champions Græntfjall. And in following pattern, the Phoenixes put forth a valiant effort yet came up short at a packed Golden Phoenix Field, the Snow Wolves scoring two and conceding one.

This sort of game, we learned last year, is a funny kind of farewell, because it's the last competitive match Delaclava's going to get to play in front of its home crowd. They ship off somewhere to Rushmore now; if they win, it's off to the World Cup. Even this year, where a home Cup of Harmony awaits if they lose, who cares? It's the Cup for Losers, for goodness sake.

And when the Delaclava team went through this last year, there was a real sense of defeat to it. Even the captain, Lukas Meyer, said it himself: "We were thanking them for a season that was about to be over." To accomplish the miracle in Bastion, clawing back a two-goal deficit and advancing to the first World Cup in seventy years on penalties, Delaclava didn't just have to overcome Eura; they had to stare themselves down and overcome the men in the mirror.

But this was different, because now this was a team that had been there and done that, been mentally to hell and back. When they shook hands with the Eurans and vowed to see them soon, it was a statement of fact and of formality. When they said the same to the Snow Wolves, they certainly meant it with sincerity and politeness, but with the confidence they carried, it was in equal measure a warning shot. The Phoenixes then saluted their fans, fist pumping and waving to the cheering crowd. The fans were applauding a fine effort on that night where Delaclava went toe-to-toe with the defending champs, but the players were telling them the war was just beginning, and they loudly encouraged their team to press on.

True to form, as Martin Bartoš - the penalty-taking hero of the Eura playoff who was just rounding into form in this campaign and played a truly excellent 90 minutes - walked back to the locker room, the press scrum gently accosted him for a word, and he obliged.

"Martin, what does the result tonight mean for the next game?"

"Well, it means we got our work cut out for us. But we know we can do that work. Ninety minutes from glory, we were bred and built for this. We're battle-tested like no one else?"

"Are you concerned that you have a deficit to make up on the road?"

"Hell no. We'll go anywhere in the world and fuck up their day, that's what we do. Look, they're the defending champions for a reason. They should make it back to the competition. But you're crazy if you don't think we have a chance to work our magic again."

"You all were very appreciative of the fans tonight, but fired up. Do you have a message for them now?"

"Well, I mean this all the best, but we hope we don't come back this season. Vilita's where we want to be. But if we do come back, you know we gave it our all to try to get to the top."

"And what's your final prediction?"

"My prediction? This lightning's gonna strike twice."

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – PLAYOFF FIRST LEG
Delte 4–4 Eura
Scorers:
Sharp 16, 57, Singh 22, Malone 80
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
5. T Green
19. J Byrd (sub Menard 67)
15. K Sherwood
8. V Robshaw (sub Gates 67)
16. O Vincent
11. B Malone
10. S Singh (sub Marshall 84)
7. A Woodman (sub West 72)
9. S Robson (sub Brookfield 64)
14. A Sharp

---

The Red Star (Callodown, far left, tabloid)
COWARDLY BARNHAM CRIES NEOLIBERAL TEARS FOR FASCIST WU

Hated capitalist Wu Zhongsheng, the illegitimate “President” of the so-called “United Republics” of Yuezhou, is still recovering from a stroke that brought him to his weak knees on the day of a general election. But in a move that will infuriate all class conscious Eurans, our equally spineless Prime Minister Harry Barnham has contributed fiercely to a chorus of undeserved kindness. Barnham extended official sympathies to Wu’s trophy wife Yang Ping and the Yue nation, saying in a statement that Eura ‘stood ready to aid our friends in their time of need’, and offered to support caretaker President Zhen Qiang in his transition to rule alongside his slippery coalition partners, the milquetoast centrist Forward Path party.

Wu was a key figure in the reactionary overthrow of the popular people’s movement that previously held power in Yuezhou, the last truly representative government of the newly enslaved central Rushmori country. Recently, Wu has been rehabilitated among the capitalist powers and legitimised by official recognition from the imperialist Bastion regime. ‘Ren Qiang was truly among the greatest thought leaders of Rushmore’ said Euran Communist Party (ECP) leader Patty Beansprout, speaking about the former revolutionary leader of Yuezhou, ‘and it is a stain on his memory that Eura has helped drive the final nails in the coffin of his legacy’.

Beansprout also gave an impassioned speech in central Bastion to as many as fourteen activists yesterday, part of a growing movement against the reactionary turn of Euran politics that has recently recruited someone under sixty and a dog called Bart. Challenged in the street by blood soaked, book burning stormtroopers of the Innocuous Liberal Human Rights Charity Coalition, she thoroughly rebutted their slanderous claims of Ren’s labour camps and purges with reference to a poorly edited EurTube video and her mate Clive. Unfortunately, Beansprout’s supposed “allies” in the increasingly disappointing Civil Federalist Party (CFP) have failed to show the same solidarity by failing to piss on an almost-dead man’s almost-corpse.

The statement of the supposedly Marxist CFP simply referred to Wu as “someone Eura should not be dealing with or venerating” and failed to call for the liquidation of the enemies of the workers that the Euran public expect. As for Barnham and his collaborationist Social Party, this is the latest blow to their failed project to finish off revolutionary thought in Eura. A poll over the weekend confirmed the ECP has surged gloriously to 0.4% of the vote if a general election were held tomorrow, a mighty 0.17% increase. Now more than ever we must continue our one last heave towards ultimate triumph for the workers of Eura!

The Capital Herald (Bastion, right wing populist, tabloid)
“WHO IS PAYING FOR IT?” HONEST TAXPAYING EURANS FUME AT DO-GOODER SPLURGE ON MONTANA VERDE

PATRIOTIC Euran voters are increasingly FURIOUS about the decision of the WOKE REVERSE RACIST Prime Minister, Harry Barnham, to send even more Euran cash to Montana Verde. The insignificant banana republic was recently mildly disturbed by an earthquake and tsunami, which the MAINSTREAM MEDIA have played up into a so-called “humanitarian crisis”. Seeking to further boost his inflated poll numbers, the LEFTIE PM opted to send in our NOT LEFTIE AND QUITE WONDERFUL TROOPS. Euran Navy aircraft carrier ENS Abraham deployed Marines and combat engineers to give the FREELOADING, FECKLESS VERDEANS a hand in rebuilding their meagre homes and lives.

This aid seemed to do the trick, until HAPLESS COMMIE Verdean leader Jazmín Santángel Hurtado stepped in. Thanks to rampant corruption and HARLOT HURTADO’S incompetence, the SOCIALIST San Ferano Dam project the country now faces a real emergency. The hydroelectric dam, built to DESTROY CAPITALISM by preventing hard-working small businesses like GlobalCorpBastion from taking over the water supply, has proven to be a DISASTER. After forcing locals to pay pennies for inferior leftist juice they call “water”, it has emerged that the dam was built by WORKSHY IDIOTS and may now collapse. This would flood the flat state of Guaremaná. Vast swathes of farmland, more than a million Verdeans and – most importantly – BLOODY GORGEOUS HOLIDAY RESORTS would be washed away.

Our “feels not reals” Prime Minister and his gaggle of SOCIOLOGIST advisors are now sending in the finest minds in Euran structural engineering to save the DOOMED DAM from its inevitable failure. We here at the Capital Herald know how much this would outrage Eurans and conducted a vox-pop to find out their views. We discovered their anger on a dilapidated high street at 2pm, speaking to a very electorally representative example of TRADITIONAL Eurans like pensioners and glowering pub blokes who are drunk by mid-afternoon. ‘It’s a f***ing disgrace!’ boomed solid man Pete from the drivers’ window of his Euran flag painted car - ‘What the f*** is a Montana or a Verde anyway?’

Katy, an ordinary mum who was BANISHED from the local supermarket for her ANTI-PC views came to us with some truly COMMON SENSE observations. ‘The “experts” they keep talking rubbish on TV saying it was an earthquake that did it. But if the ground is shaking below the dam and creates gaps, wouldn’t the water just fill them up and plug them? It doesn’t add up. Wake up sheeple!’ Adding to the chorus of the SILENT MAJORITY, leafleting Capital Party MP Phillip Penrose-Smith happened to be on location and gave us his thoughts. ‘Obviously, taxpayers should be outraged. The madness of this Social Party government knows no ends. What next? Capital investment for Brenecian sex workers? Funds for Kitaran gender fluid theatre troupes? No, enough of this nonsense – taxpayers money belongs in one place and one place only, and that’s my offshore accounts.’

The Brigham Herald (Brigham, centre-left, broadsheet)
GOVERNMENT STEPS UP SANCTIONS AGAINST CASSADAIGUA

Foreign Secretary Eloise Chadwick and Minister of Trade, Regulation and Investment Dom Holland have announced a raft of new sanctions against the Cassadaiguan regime. Under powers in the Sanctioning of States and Individuals Act, the government has chosen to enact a third wave of punitive measures against the regime in Concord Heights, in response to what Chadwick called the “repressive and illegitimate occupation of the Cooper River region”. Under the new sanctions, hundreds of Dagan companies and publicly owned bodies linked with the invasion will be unable to export or important with Eura, while work visas in the Federation have been frozen indefinitely for all Dagan nationals who have not yet completed an approval process.

These sanctions are the latest step in an escalating Euran drive to punish the regime of Queen Cassie III for its occupation, which independent analysts have widely described as a campaign of ethnic cleansing and settler colonialism. Although the CRC at large has not replicated the Euran sanctions packages, other states critical of Dagan actions have begun to do so, including close allies such as Nephara. Holland said in an EBC radio interview last night that Eura has a wide range of further options for sanctions which may be brought to the table in future.

It is likely that the new Euran efforts will further inflame the antagonism between Bastion and Concord Heights. The latter government has repeatedly denied claims made against it among the international community, instead fixating on the idea of the Gastineau massacre being a “happy accident”, in the words of one Euran government insider. This is despite its open admission to conquering the region with no attempt to establish democratic government or the right to self-determination and a thinly veiled push to culturally assimilate the “Cooperites”. More credibly, the Dagan regime frequently accuses Eura of arming the River Republic, a revolutionary militant group that has been waging a bloody insurgency against Dagan forces.

Although the Dagan regime has been disciplined in maintaining a common message among its leaders, it is thought the military may be under increasing internal pressure to deliver victory after some criticism, with the blame lying at their feet for allowing the Republic to grow in strength across the region. The Dagans therefore responded quickly to an embarrassing Republic strike against a bridge on the controversial Highway 41, within the region but close to Cassadaigua’s legally recognised borders, with an ambitious troop surge designed to overwhelm the insurgency. The troop surge was an accompanied by a spike in Dagan military airstrikes across the region which are thought to have degraded the Republic’s increasing cohesion and logistics chains.

Following these strikes the Republic seems to have changed its approach to the fighting after recent Dagan successes that were made possible by their increasingly aggressive strategy. Recent analysis from the Euran think-tank, The Association of Military Strategists (TAMS), suggests the Republic has once again decentralised its command structure and dispersed most of its fixed camps. The Republic’s social media channels also reveal the increasing proliferation of improvised explosive devices (IEDs) against Dagan forces; their twii.tur account recently shared a video of such a device destroying a Dagan patrol vehicle and its crew, part of a new propaganda effort to boost morale and inflame domestic Dagan critics of the war.

In an unusual move the Republic has also explicitly asked for international assistance after some Dagan airstrikes were recorded across the Cooper River, in territory held by the Republic that sits outside the unrecognised borders of North Cassadaigua. The Republic claims that numerous civilian refugees were killed or wounded when an air-to-ground missile hit a water station outside of the Dagan claim. In response, the Republic have demanded the international community provide more sophisticated and long range air defence capabilities. Dagan regime sources warned against “meddlers” supplying ever more capable weapons to the Republic’s army, though this is unlikely to prevent further supply. In fact, in a move that has already drawn rampant speculation about potential consequences, the Euran Ministry of Defence has now lifted many of its restrictions on “private companies with overseas commitments” – which would enable any Euran private military contractors involved in the conflict to expand their support.

[Graintfjall]

Delaclava – 1 (0)
Anagknakis (o.g. 40’), Lindblad (53’)

Græntfjall – 2 (1)
Björnólfur; Sigurbergur (52’) (75’ Tom ), Grímúlfur (79’), Asbjørn, Jan; Tinni, Danny, Steinar (75’ Arendt ); Þrastar (52’ Röskvi ), Jason, Mímir (59’) (75’ Joel )

Björnólfur Ernestisson’s wife wasn’t the only one grateful for his incredible fingertips after a couple of full length saves proved the difference between victory and defeat for the Snow Wolves on their first visit to Delaclava since the United Republic’s transterraformation to the planet of Sonnel. Ernestisson’s keeping, and especially his management of set pieces, has come in for some criticism over the past year, but he was on fire against the Phoenixes, with a magnificent diving save to deny Varlam Kovalev, and an even better one to turn a fearsome Lukas Meyer strike just around the post. His bustling brilliance gave a slightly disorganized Snow Wolves defense – who had earlier, yes indeed, conceded again from a set piece as Kent Lindblad stabbed in a free-kick at the second opportunity – enough breathing room to marshal themselves for a desperate effort in the last ten minutes, frustrating Delaclav attack after attack.

Jason Þórhallursson may not have got his name on the scoresheet but proved there was still life in the old dog with a Herkúlean* performance, including a powerful run shrugging off two defenders and a perfectly weighted pass that still left Mímir Waltheofsson with plenty to do, though in the event after mulling a cunning chip, a curling caress, or a silky sidefoot… he just put his laces through it and beat Earl James on power over placement. And Þórhallursson had been involved in winning what proved the decisive corner for the first goal, from which Steinar Clemensson’s whipped delivery found Grímúlfur Gunnþórsson, who was able to exploit the height advantage to get a solid header on target. Slightly unfortunately, the shadowy cult known as the Order of Illusory Goals redesignated the goal as an own goal for precocious young midfielder Vangelis Anagnakis, who had brought pace and energy to his role for the Phoenixes, but whose attempted clearance only served to deflect the ball in past James. Gunnþórsson might protest his header was clearly goalbound anyway, but the sacrificial blood rites of the Order brook no review.

The Snow Wolves were nervy and at times unconvincing, and failed to control possession in the middle of the field as Danny Oddkellsson adapted to a new playmaking role, well covered throughout by Ben Romejin. The BFG-heavy lineup also failed to make its advantage in height and size count until the bitter end, and for two centerbacks each approaching six and half feet to allow the five-eight Lindblad a free shot on goal smacked of abject carelessness. But a win, as they say, is a win, and the Snow Wolves will return to GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro (cap.: 69,999) in south Háttmark determined not to let aesthetic considerations trump the brutal reality of what they need to do in order to qualify: secure a draw. With no injuries, the same team can be expected to be named to start.

* Herkúles is a figure of Græntfjaller mythic legend, a demi-god who performed 13 labors of awesome strength, skill, and cunning, including carrying all the shopping bags in one trip. Strongman competitions, which are a very popular national sporting pastime in Græntfjall, sometimes model their events on modern reinterpretations of Herkúles’s labors.

---

“…anyway yeah, it wasn’t the most glamorous of wins but we really toughed it out, and at the end that’s all that matters, innit? It’s like, when you’ve got a bird’s bra off, you don’t really care what her face looks like, alrite?”

Queen Júlíana shook Danny Oddkellsson’s hand again and smiled thinly. Grímúlfur Gunnþórsson nodded to Danny, who winked back. Grímúlfur had warned him to be on his best behavior when they met the Queen.

Fucking nailed it, thought Danny.

They moved down the line, from number 8, to number 9.

“And this is…”

Jason and the Queen had, in fact, met before. He’d met her in formal grandeur, such as when he’d visited the Höll to pitch for a children’s charity. And slightly less formal grandeur, such as when she’d found him stark bollock naked in what some context clues might have tipped him was not, in fact, her daughter’s bedroom, but her own. He winced, but her smile was indefatigable. He guessed she’d shaken hands with dictators and worse before and kept up the smile. A little social awkwardness wasn’t anything she was going to dwell on.

“Mr Þórhallursson. Wearing rather more clothes than when you were last in my presence. Or nearly in my presence, if I’d sat down on the bed a little further to the left, anyway.”

Or maybe it was.

“Your, um, Majesty.”

“Yes, quite right.” She turned to Dr. Hildar Náttúlfsson and explained. “Mr Þórhallursson has made the acquaintance of my daughter. Tell me, Mr Oddkellsson, you seem knowledgeable about such matters. How would you classify such a relationship?” She pronounced the word ‘relationship’ with seven syllables, and every one made Jason turn a deeper shade of nausea green.

Danny considered the question. “Guess you’d say it’s one of them ‘on again off again’ jobs, your Maj. Though she’s a nice bit of skirt an’ all so he really should make an honest woman of her, know what I mean guv?” He laughed and punched Hildar playfully in the arm.

“On again, off again. How delightful. And, tell me Mr Þórhallursson, are we on again, or off again, at the moment?”

Grímúlfur watched as the striker looked about ready to keel over. He was glad they’d scheduled the meeting with the Queen, whose royal tour of Sonnel had brought her to Delaclava just in time to watch the qualifying game, for after the game. Jason might not have made it onto the pitch if they’d gone through this before.

“That would be off, again, Your Majesty,” he replied with a voice like a death rattle.

“Hmm. And I hear you are to attend the Royal Wedding in Banija. Such a shame I can’t make it, I’m sure it will be a quite lovely affair, but I’m afraid after this Hildar,” she patted her doctor’s hand, “Is telling me I’ll need to rest up.” She didn’t seem in need of rest to Jason; she seemed positively crackling with energy.

“I am, Your Majesty, yes, I was very honored to…”

“I do know Jessika is looking forward to it.”

Jason’s complexion had passed into the corpse range now. “Oh. Good.”

“What fun it shall be! And now, this is Mr Waltheofsson? A fine goal, Mr Waltheofsson, a fine goal indeed, let me shake your hand…”

---

The Queen was, indeed, still visiting Sonnel. And that meant the hand being shaken by the players in Delaclava was not available to shake the hand of Kaija Michaelsdóttir. Who found herself, instead, offering hers to the Crown Princess. Gin-soaked fascist halfwit she might be, but one thing that could not be said of the Crown Princess, Kassandra, was that she couldn’t scrub up good for an occasion. In a black gown that seemed to cascade off her shoulder like flowing water, with the Crown of Þangbrandur resplendent on her head, the tall woman loomed over Kaija like some ice valkyrie of a forgotten age.

It wasn’t just her. Her husband, Commander Gunnlaugur Rikharðsson, in his full dress uniform – including an array of medals so copious Kaija wondered whether the military wouldn’t be better off turning some of that metal into bullets instead of handing out gongs for torturing third world revolutionaries – stood beside her. Kaija hadn’t brought her own husband. Then again, had Guðjón come with even his biggest calculator and heaviest accountancy standards manual, it wouldn’t really have measured up to the saber and automatic pistol on Rikharðsson’s belt.

Kaija looked up. She wished she’d worn bigger heels. But even on six inch platforms she’d have been a head shorter. She tried to find comfort in knowing she was standing on the greatest democratic mandate ever delivered to any politician in the history of the country. That she held national office as Prime Minister, and Kassandra’s title was purely honorary and entirely notional. That she was polling higher in popularity than even her namesake, soccer star Kæja Finnvarðsdóttir, and that Kassandra was polling slightly lower than the Spon Plague. And yet, she knew, in that moment she’d trade in a few million votes and a few percentage points off the top of her polls just not to feel so damned short.

“Ms Michaelsdóttir?” Gunnlaugur prompted with clipped precision.

She’d been chasing krakens.** “I, um…?”

“On a more regular occasion. These meetings.”

“I’m sorry, which meetings?”

Kassandra spoke. Her voice was deep and delightfully crisp, and her tone sounded disconcertingly sober. “You have won a great victory, Ms Michaelsdóttir, but these weekly meetings are still an important requirement, and however tiresome it may be for you…”

“Right. Got it.” Kaija frowned. “The Queen wants to meet with me more regularly?”

The silence that followed felt as rich and lustrous as Kassandra’s shimmering dark hair.

“You want to start meeting with me? More – regularly?” Kaija wasn’t aware Kassandra had ever taken much interest in the every day business of government before. She wasn’t aware Kassandra through there much point in having the every day business of government, come to think of it. “I wasn’t aware the Queen…”

“My mother has served the realm for three decades from the throne, and for three decades before that in waiting. As she enters the golden years of her life, it can only be right to honor her devotion by beginning to lighten her load.”

Kaija nodded slowly. “I understand.”

---

“I don’t.”

In the Elliptical Office, Auðlín and Kimberley were meeting with Kaija, who’d relayed the meeting word for word. Kimberley looked confused.

“It means,” said Kaija, “That Kassandra is starting to position herself to take over from her mother.”

“After she dies. But the Queen’s in excellent health, she has another twenty years…”

Auðlín and Kaija exchanged a glance, and Kimberley fell silent.

“What are you going to do?”

Kaija took a long time to answer. “I don’t know,” she finally answered. “I don’t see what choice I have. She’s the Queen’s daughter.”

“She’s the Queen’s oldest daughter,” corrected Auðlín.

** Colloquial expression which means daydreaming.

[Geektopia]

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Categorium: Work (Curated by Migueis in Geektopia) edited by Atham Tasasubsil in Burur cak Noaqsi)
Automobiles (Curated by Naumovic in Geektopia) edited by Christoffer Cappuyns in Chica Saw)
Amusement (Curated by Zahharov in Geektopia) edited by Corion Icepis Samarneta in Aimena)
Household (Curated by Palime in Geektopia) edited by Kalijat Hink in Unimon)
Good Physical Condition (Curated by Blard in Geektopia) edited by Edtacio Bezerra in Campo de Ervas)
Government (Curated by Podjasek in Geektopia) edited by Eskanova Singleton in Sponsertivity)
Faith (Curated by Nke in Geektopia) edited by Taire Ah Oak Guru in Sainterris)
Branch of Knowledge (Curated by Rehnström in Geektopia) edited by Aguilḻar Mendoza Sanafan Ţluknaṟbire in Islas Cardinales)
Competitive Games (Curated by Ballarta in Geektopia) edited by Andreika Rararch Sigi in Aimena) <======= You are here.
Technology (Curated by Tschšppeler in Geektopia) edited by Shuan Zawadkun in Aimena)
Travel (Curated by Courtieux in Geektopia) edited by Tamir Tater in Aimena
Popular Media & Economy (Curated by Sulkumški in Geektopia) edited by Margharita Abbate in La Fiorita)
Multiverse (Curated by El Baraka in Geektopia) edited by Eva Mariska II Purrlicious Chowder Chocolate in Islas Cardinales)

---

Luck. A lot of how prestigious the new brood of football players called up to the squad had shown in their performances was only due to luck, and this didn't exclude coaches, medical personnel whose posts aren't threatened on the date and time of this issue, as well as the higher-ups who do their financial work in buildings surrounding the glaringly urban area where Place of Valence is situated. After a dusk of extensive party-going and celebrations, almost no one in the country checked their mailboxes come dawn for anything incoming, but the first person who did was a passionate businessman and lived near where Schmedding did in the Terranean-sounding "Latin Monkey Pirate Gear" district of the "Latin Monkey" neighborhood, which sells items dumped out from the ships of the Chohn-Singh Abirabishnu pirate fleets that reigned terror twenty years back, or "two months and eighteen days ago" for Terranean readers who have never been to the Kwandoan continent and are completely cast out when it comes to experiencing the much slower aging of the environment, people, and other things, in the statutory town of Kiboizu at Sainterris. After reading this paper from HFFH which was sent to every other Geektopian citizen who owns a hamster, hamster-themed pillow/s, socks, shoes, pajamas, underwear, mugs, and vases, among more things, he thus defended his philosophy on this issue in front of Schmedding even though he wasn't very football-inclined having never looked at a television in his life and didn't prostrate himself to the RKC chairman, valiantly battling his take on why such a thing as this was important to bring up to Schmedding in the first place, after Schmedding had just gone outside and was enjoying the start of what looked to be a lovely jaunt entirely on the sidewalks and around the perimeter of Latin Monkey. As far as what the elderly CPA told our chairman, or rather explained, it was of the mechanism in which less laymen Geektopians who owned a hamster would go to a renowned stadium at The Holy Empire in their masses, the effect of his plan being more citizens from that country and Rōczwijyrcqa could be persuaded into a sweepstakes that the RKC and Geektivities could stage together, detailing that the rewards for sending in a picture of one's pet hamster are that of which the national government allows in the taking of twenty five persons to The Holy Empire, as well as RKC's mascot colors and name being changed conditioned of the stipulation for one game only that it will instead be the winning hamster of the twenty five football-watching laymen that a full-body costume will be fashioned for, realistically depicting the fur texture/s, color/s, or personalities and behaviors described in the submission sent by one of the twenty-five selected.

For the true success of this plan which he hadn't read off to Schmedding but which was discussed later in his working quarters, the best sixty thousand Geektopian and Imperial submissions have to be followed up with a notification by any variance of communication (text message, e-mail, phone call, letter, aerial advertisement, physical presence) that the listed are eligible for attendance without pay of any match held at Isleshore in the Isleshore stadium, for ten years (or in Terranean terms a month and nine days). The amounts of money which have to go out of Geektopian pockets to services in foreign places are very little, while soon after the month and nine days ends, everything will come back to normal with a little sustained interest on viewing football games in this region. Cryptos that are going to the government in which computer nerds live will be handed out from the wallets of Imperials who wish to travel the multiverse and impishly-stupid Geektopian residents that are supporters of A.F.C. Viridescent. This is placed in the same category of spell-binding programs that benefit the citizens and government of Geektopia positively much to an effect as the Advanced Depreciation Cut had been, when after most had realized everything besides their person was aging at an accelerated rate, a group pushed an amendment to the civil code of Geektopia which stated therein that expenses for every accommodation should be increased to ninety two times of what they were declared after the Great Pour of Aging Gel, which has been discussed here. Now, in the excitement of that great win over the Imperial football team, Schmedding tells the accountant about how little significance a nation like The Holy Empire holds in his eyes. He asks him how he plans to capture anyone's attention there since he's used to financing, budgeting, accounting, advertising, and running fundraisers inside of Geektopia with no international experience and the businessman tells more about the apparatus he's hired to advise him. When the chairman inquires about why he's not told the process for how the accountant gained all of these reputable clients, the accountant looks like he suddenly remembers the morning in which he picked this letter up, despite him not being a hamster enthusiast but living with a boorish roommate who is. Well, it looks like he doesn't try to remember the latter half of it, but anyway, he saves himself from answering the question of an imposing nature and quickly brings up how it was impolite to not show Schmedding the letter from the start, leaving out an even more immodest impoliteness in the fact that he hasn't told Schmedding his name. From looking at the free security cam footage with audio on bizsurveillancecams.gee.com, an extension of the surveillancecams domain with sportssurveillancecams.gee.com, you can later hear this exchange and learn that the guy's name is Jani̊ Daeolsanhunu, and with that known, he's a born Sainterrisiot because of the little ring diacritic in his first name.

Anyhow, Jan for short shows Schmedding the paper and while they go over several parts in detail, the chairman interrupts both of their reading to point out he's not known anyone who has a hamster, or has shown interest in having guardianship over one. Schmedding is baffled over how intriguing the letter sounds, but it's probably because he's never had the time nor the interest to be involved in a collaborative business deal, despite working for the Fiancee firm, he was a bit of an oddball and kept doing these surrogate activities for hours of a time at the workplace but anyone who surveyed what he was doing in hours five to eight of the business day had to admit that he cleaned up exceptionally and if it wasn't for what Schmedding saw as an obligation to do meaningless things that worked towards nothing in his first four hours of work, he'd get his bookkeeping done early ninety to ninety five percent of the time. For why he's baffled it's because he dug deeper and did a bit more research on the country which is number two in national association football, after politely telling Daeolsanhunu that he'll consider what he said but that Jan should pack up his things and go, which the man did, apparently meaning that he'd be leaving of his own accord. As he boarded a cab (from what I can see on the street surveillance), he remarked on his desire to get a better view of the country than he could from his post as the Foxi Bancorp corporate controller, and this paints a picture of what action plans the RKC and it's shareholders are looking at, considering the recently issued press release of March 6 which announced plans for Daeolsanhunu to take the chairman's seat from Schmedding. Well, considering that there's no way that a former Sainterrisiot can sit as a president of a Geektopian company considering their not being naturalized and born in the country, it looks like the press releases I have read which aren't officially backed by the RKC or published by the RKC are spraying more inaccuracies to the clueless public, like a garden sprinkler of misinformation and skullduggery, and I don't mean any offense towards Daeolsanhunu at all in these writings, it's just that he isn't eligible, nor has he achieved a tenth of what Schmedding has in his career, despite being very flexible on the knowledge of other things that are business-related with accounting.

It should be noted that after filing out from the taxi on Wyanei Street from whence he paid for his services, Jani̊ Daeolsanhunu approached a man in a suit which had a rollator (remember those?) on his back, and the two headed towards a smoothie store. Later I was able to learn that they were speaking Sainterrisiot to each other at the time, but from the exact words, it looked to be something along the lines of "I'm finally ready to do it". Though I am averse to overly-suspicious commentary from conspiracy theorists, the two definitely look like they're banding together on the very same sweepstakes marketing that Jan had suggested to Schmedding outside and at his office, and the observation that the person in which he had met up with looked very businessmanlike without the requirement of having to look as such and spoke other languages makes me think that he could have some familiarity with marketing things to other people outside of this country. I discussed this with some friends from the same nation as Jan, and in their conversation I hadn't known what they were saying to eachother, but I do know that Daeolsanhunu had started the conversation with a question, indicated by the tonality of his sentence. Anyways, I later learned he was asking his suited friend where any trains were, but then after his question, the person played this down and offered Jan a ride to a train station in his undisputedly cool-looking unmarked limousine. So, it looks like the stars may be aligning for the friends of Schmedding with Daeol's retelling of the whole annul of events that started on the morning he interrupted the chairman of the RKC's walk to when he met the individual with a walker on his back, so in this instance, their operations may not be entirely controlled on whether or not Schmedding decides to see Jan's plan through or not. Later in the day, he went to another luncheon and, without the permission of Schmedding, wrote a response on paper to the association Hamster Friends of Friends of Hamsters, abbreviated HFFH with all manner of conflicted thoughts, impolitenesses, and stupidities running through his mind, composed of the following:

---

To Hammy,

Writing back, I know that a sizeable number of people in Geektopia are hamster enthusiasts, connoisseurs, and devourers and, whilst I am sure you're delighted to hear that as much as I am, would it not be wise to hear other proposals from the opposing party in which you write this letter to?

You make a good point on the picture attached, that is, your stating you look cute on it, but I had something else in mind when I looked at your picture, that being: a sweepstakes competition composed with the top sports magazines and football associations in both of our countries so as to see which of the twenty-five hamster owners who have the best composed submissions will occupy the away stand of your fine work of architecture, the Hippodrome. It sounds very thrilling, yes?

Moreover, the individual who has best entried pictures of their hamster will have a mascot on our side for one match only to celebrate such a special occasion in the magnitude of these play-off legs. Oh yes, there is still more when it comes to the plan attached! The upper sixty thousand submissions should be contacted fairly soon after results get out by our party and notified of their being eligible to occupy the Isleshore Stadium for no cost, this lasting as long as a month and nine days.

In which case you accept, I still think we shouldn't hear out our action plans so soon and discuss not so much the benefits, but the disadvantages of these plans which we propose to each other. Just a little friendly brainstorming session over letters, get me? In the terms in which you deem a plan of mine too extreme, I will quickly revise to your liking and likewise. For example, an extreme plan I heard from my buddy was that of his wanting the participants of the sweepstakes in which I have proposed to send their hamsters to the RKC quarters and have us dope them up for them to fight each other. As you may predict of his plan, the last hamster alive would have a mascot and the owner of that hamster present at The Holy Empire and your Dream Realm.

Trust the nation when I, representing their words, say,

We will bring hamsters!

Honored to have signed this letter,
Jani̊ D.

---

Geektopia 1-0 The Holy Empire <> 34,013 @ Place of Valence, Mukladrue, Geektopia
G's: 3' by #28 Ogrodowski for GEE (assisted by #17 Gulcan 'iirţasdaṟi)
Notable Fouls (GEE): YC in the 1' via #15 Hugee Adsginsier, RC in the 11' via #15 Hugee Adsginsier (excluded two games + fine of 920 cryptos), YC in the 12' via #33 Pitter, YC in the 37' via #8 Matkowski, YC in the 53' via #6 Upson
Substitutions (GEE): #13 Jerykah Dhubthaeiruh off at 14 minutes introducing #19 Thorud, #28 Ogrodowski off at 30 minutes introducing #9 Jayleanna Lnepzsloal, #23 Rebimbas off at 44 minutes introducing #32 Dameţrice 'iidayfib Ṟath Eadjani, #17 Gulcan 'iirţasdaṟi and #11 Zalie 'amquk off at 55 minutes introducing #20 Rinnert and #16 Witrago

Player Ratings

ON AND NOT SUBBED
#1 Aadish Lieesslolg = 7.0
#15 Hugee Adsginsier = 6.4
#33 Pitter = 6.9
#3 Sistek = 7.0
#6 Upson = 6.9
#8 Matkowski = 6.9

SUBBED OFF
#23 Rebimbas = 7.0
#13 Jerykah Dhubthaeiruh = 7.0
#28 Ogrodowski = 8.0
#17 Gulcan 'iirţasdaṟi = 7.5
#11 Zalie 'amquk = 7.0

SUBBED ON
#9 Jayleanna Lnepzsloal = 7.0
#16 Witrago = 7.0
#19 Thorud = 7.0
#20 Rinnert = 7.0
#32 Dameţrice 'iidayfib Ṟath Eadjani = 7.0

[Brenecia]

IA Quebec 2 - 1 Brenecia
(4-4-2) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper (25 - Reed 87'); 15 - Wake, 19 - Seager (4 - Briggs 77'), 8 - Conway, 10 - Byrne (7 - Carpenter 64'); 21 - Lofthouse, 13 - Stokes (9 - Baker 77')
Goal: Stokes 52'

"Go on, lass," muttered Derdriu Wright, with a hearty clap on Shana Reed's shoulder. "But don't go rushing on..."
Reed was a good player. Intelligent, coachable. She waited for Nimue Culpepper to make her agonisingly slow way to the touchline, soaking up the not-particularly-existent adulation from the away crowd... it was true enough that Culpepper had a secondary assist, but, well, that was getting ahead of the story, which was to say, over half an hour in the past.
Reed came on at last and slowly, placidly trotted to the throw-in. The home fans knew the Patriots were blatantly time-wasting; 1-1 was a decent away result. Jeers rang out, but in good humour. Like... yeah, Brenecia gonna Brenecia. Even if it was lightly infuriating to have to deal with.
The throw was, at last, taken. It floated gently to Maerhen Wake.
... Out of nowhere, the fresh substitute Bouck raced in, leapt up, chested down the ball and surged forward, past Wake, past the nonplussed Reed, into free space...
"Ahh, fuck," said Wright, loud enough to be picked up by the speakers for the audience at home.

Back to the beginning.
Quebec had laid out the red carpet for Brenecia; including a return to the more traditional Reneegrad over the Ram Ranch that had played host to Quebec's group. The two nations were now strange, unlikely bedfellows; Princess Muirne's marriage into Banija's royal house had helped bring Brenecia into the fold of the Oceanic monarchies. And now the Brenecian royals were in town, cordially applauding, neither with any fucking clue what was going on underneath. Etain had once been given the obligatory 'explaining offside using salt and pepper shakers' treatment by a guy in Directus; Muirne preferred horses.
It was a clear-cut tactical match-up, an easy job for analysts. Brenecia had done better in the group, but struggled head-to-head against Savojarna. Did they struggle against the best teams, or was it that they were frustrated by Savojarna's low block, which would not be an issue against Quebec? What would Quebec do? Well, that was easy. They would attack, relentlessly. Brenecia would look to hold out and hit on the break.
... Right?
Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Quebec opted for a back three, hoping the extra man in defence would help them shut down Brenecia's strike duo and free the other seven outfielders to commit more freely to attack. Brenecia, overmanned throughout the centre of the pitch, would rely on Seager and Conway to hold the line and on their excellent wide players to keep the pressure on.
Wright would've been very, very happy to settle for 0-0. Rozelle was their fortress. They'd get a goal there, but for now it was a matter of smashing them on the break.
Unless...

... that happened. A fluid passing move, a drifted ball over the top from Ukaleq, Miller on the receiving end. A one-two with Babin, and by now the white shirts were scattered to the four winds, Miller laid it off to Wawanolett, acres of space, Seager nowhere to be found, Corder watched anxiously...
... and kept watching as the strike sailed past her.
It was a beautiful strike, the acme of footballing skill, technique and power married into a single motion.
As neutrals found a single tear welling in their eyes, Derdriu Wright reacted the only way she could. "FUCK!"
But Brenecian heads didn't drop. They looked back at Wright with conviction as she laid out the plan at half-time: attack, but cautiously. Go forward on the wings, not down the middle. Go direct.
The Patriots didn't listen to her; they actually dominated the game for five entire minutes, taking the Quebecois off-guard for a short, explosive spell of play. Middleton made a breath-taking double save from Conway, then Lofthouse; Wake burst through three men before smashing a shot into the side netting. And just as momentum began to shift back, the Quebecois calmed down... Katua Byrne smacked a cross into the box.
Easy for Chewbacca. Right?
It just took his eye off the ball for one second. It smacked into his chest; too heavy. He swung a leg at it clumsily, trying to at least hook the ball away, but barely managed to nudge it. One bounce in the box, and Mor-Rioghain was there; another air-swing from Chewbacca, and the penalty was there for Stokes if she wanted to win it - really, she should have - but she stumbled over the boot, regained her footing in possession, and sidefooted a low, confident strike past Middleton.
The Quebecois were stunned. They'd dominated the ball, taken the lead, then weathered a brief Brenecian storm only to be undone by a stupid defensive error.
Well, correction: the Quebecois fans were stunned. The players, it turned out, were made of sterner stuff.

Brenecia had been properly under siege for the last twenty minutes, and Wawanolett was, by now, properly running the show in midfield. Bouck had arrived off the bench on the hour and hadn't put a foot wrong, twice testing Corder from range, while Woodcarver had come agonisingly close to scoring, barely overrunning a throughball from Miller that ultimately came through to Corder.
It was Woodcarver's last action of the game; Enrico came off the bench.
But Brenecia's nerve held. And their defence, too. Right up until that shaky throw-in that got snapped up by Bouck...
... and from Bouck to Wawanolett, then to the overlapping run of another substitute, Coriolan down the right in all the space where Brenecia's players weren't. Conway came steaming in, Reed raced back into a defensive midfield position, Wake sulked. Coriolan found Bouck again, in the middle of all of them, and now the Brenecian shirts were scattered, in sixes and sevens. A raking ball down the left exposed them further, Ukaleq now in possession, and he drove a diagonal ball straight into the heart of the Brenecian box.
Too far for Corder to claim. Too far for Killen to clear. But just enough for Enrico, running like his life depended on it, to sprint past Brenecia's glacial centre-halves and put his foot through the ball, practically bursting the net with the shot.
Again, Wright turned to her baseline reaction. "FUCK!"
What else was there to say?

[Milchama]

"So what happened in the last match?"

"We won 4-2"

"Nice"

"Was the game interesting?"

"In the sense of winning is fun, yes, in that there was anything spectacular that happened, no"

"Why not?"

"Milchama was the better team for 90 minutes and won because of that"

"Oh that is not interesting"

"No, casual dominance is great over a playoff leg but there's nothing really to say about it"

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"Want to do a grab bag of topics and then inconclusively talk about each one and end up with an unclear, unfocused, rambly, and not very good RP?"

"Works for me!"

"What are we starting with?"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"How do you pronounce Mercedini?"

"They still haven't answer that question. It's unclear and bad that we don't know. We demand the Mercidinian ambassador to tell us"

"Fair enough"

"Next!"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"Is pickleball banned in Milchama?"

"No. It's a gym sport though. Why you would play it if not in gym class is beyond me? Like tennis exists for a reason, pickle ball is just tennis you can play in gym class. It has its place but it's not as good as the real thing."

"Yeah, it's not that interesting"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"Is there any good food in Mercedini?"

"I didn't go there because I was too afraid to mispronounce the country and anger the locals"

"Remember that poor Quebecois guy who mispronounced Milchama and then was beaten up on 6 different occasions?"

"Yeah that was really bad and the diplomatic implications of that have still not been fully resolved"

"Probably shouldn't randomly create a random international incident in the middle of a RP without clearing it with someone first"

"Meh"

"Fair enough"

"We did clear it for what it's worth"

"Oh that's good"

"Do we have anything else to say on this subject?"

"Not really, I hope I can make it there someday and not get beat up"

"Definitely"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"What happened during the Isolation?"

"WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THOSE TIMES!"

"We do not speak of those times"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"How are the zombies?"

"What's that about?"

"I think it's about the pagan holiday of Halloween which is around this time in Cheshvan"

"Oh ok"

"Wasn't there something about a machine that brought people back from the dead though?"

"Oh that definitely existed, it's not that useful, they're mostly angry and don't help create oral histories"

"Right but that seems like important technology to have"

"Oh it's cursed magic"

"Is there magic in Milchama?"

"Not sure but there is a quidditch team"

"So?"

"That feels like the same thing"

"Would we know if there was?"

"No"

"So we'll say no"

"For now..."

*Pulls card out of hat*

"What are your names?"

"We don't speak of such things"

"It's been a solid 15 years and it's never been revealed in a RP, why would we do it now?"

"Fair enough"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"When the hamster revolution comes where you will hide?"

"I plan on committing mass genocide against the hamsters. So I'll probably get guillotined. No hiding just going out guns blazing"

"I plan on reaching very tall objects for the hamsters so I will just be part of the hamster revolution"

"Traitor!"

"You said you would commit genocide, that's much worse"

"It's just hamsters"

"They're living creatures!"

"You should be anthropocentric and fight for humankind to flourish over all other species"

"The question clearly states what happens after the revolution, so I figure we lost"

"Oh ok that does change the equation. I'm still not hiding but I'm going to die because I was a major general in the opposition army"

"Fair enough"

"Next"

*Pulls card out of hat*

"Whose line is it anyway?"

"Good show"

"Great show"

"Best show"

[PotatoFarmers]

Cassadaigua 5–4 Poafmersia
Goalscorers: Jordan Huerta 12' (assist by Jackson), 66' (assist by Frederick); Janelle Frederick 23' (assist by Jackson); Leontiy Seet 39';
Lineup: Nicole Potts (c); Kilikina Lee, Nacro Astro, Diamond Byan, Zak Kaloyanov; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Aapeli Shea; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitutes: Jacqi Equine (Kaloyanov 45'); Kelefe Hans (Byan 62'); Sylvia Fusco (Berg 62'); Tessa Bjarnesen (Frederick 75')

Poafmer Times

WCQ Fantasy: Best, but not optimal
With additional support from our friends from Ko-oren

I know, I know. You just read about the World Cup Fantasy roundup from our Ko-orenite friends, which probably has became your most important reading after every cycle. We have always been the representative from Poafmersia every cycle, and to be really honest, sometimes we are good, sometimes we are just disgustingly horrible in predicting the winners. Given that, however, this is the first time we have won the fantasy, we have decided to come up with a series of our own. But we ain't going to talk about how we arrived at our own team, lest yall just wait for our "optimal stats team" and create a meta of some sorts. Instead, we are going to review this edition of th fantasy, looking at whether the wisdom of the crowd is indeed that solid in making choices, and what exactly can be done to improve the game as a whole. Our winning entry features 584 points, which happens to be 9 more than the second-placed entry from Tumbra. But in reality, this is a score which is far away from the optimal strategy, and that is something we will find out together.

Group 1
Most Picked: Ceni (40 points, 8.90 KPB) (44.83% picked)
Our Pick: Valentine Z (40 points, 14.50 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Optimal Option: Ceni
Group 1 was won by second seeds Savigliane, with top ranked side Turori only making the playoffs. However, Turori was indeed the team that got the most amount of Fantasy Points, though their high KPB definitely put off some experts out there. The most picked team was Ceni, at 13 picks out of 29 entries, and they produced a solid return at 40 points, rendering them as a must-pick for the group. And indeed, Ceni remains as the choice in the optimal team. We picked Valentine Z, along with 2 others, but they didn't do much better than Ceni.

Group 2
Most Picked: Squornshelan Remnant States (44 points, 27.30 KPB) (20.69% picked)
Our Pick: The Licentian Isles (31 points, 9.70 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Optimal Option: Ranoria (42 points, 13.85 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 2 was won by top seeds Kandorith, whose 56 points haul was also the joint-largest haul for the entire round. However, the most picked team was the Confederates, who had the second most points in the group. It wasn't an easy decision among the experts, with top 3 choices getting 6 picks, 5 picks and 5 picks respectively. And it seems the 5 who picked Ranoria will be celebrating, as this turns out to be the choice in the optimal team.

Group 3
Most Picked: Tjorl (32 points, 7.71 KPB) (41.38% picked)
Our Pick: Tjorl
Optimal Option: Kelssek (50 points, 19.41 KPB) (0% picked)
Group 3 was won by top seeds Nephara, without much surprise, but many experts certainly made the right call when they went for Tjorl, the seventh seeds who scored an amazing 32 fantasy points. What might come out to be a surprise for many is the optimal choice - the optimal team picked Kelssek for its Group 3 option, with 50 fantasy points to their name following an amazing run to second place.

Group 4
Most Picked: Krytenia (40 points, 18.37 KPB) (20.69% picked)
Our Pick: Canadian Dominion (16 points, 0.88 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Optimal Option: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Krytenia was the modal selection for the group, but produced a miserable 40 fantasy points for a third seed. This meant that the optimal team was definitely going to skip in in favour of Geektopia, who has much lesser cost, and yet featured a solid 48 fantasy points for the team. Our guys picked on Canadaian Dominion to be the team that punch above their weight, but really didn't expect much out of it with such a low return.

Group 5
Most Picked: Hapilopper (38 points, 23.31 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Our Pick: Poafmersia (43 points, 18.76 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Optimal Option: Kimi-Suomi (41 points, 12.32 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Our guys blindly went for our team, but honestly, Kimi-Suomi was a really decent pick for the group. The target was mainly to pick teams that were likely to punch above their KPB worth, and indeed, Kimi-Suomi fits the bill, given how they squeezed themselves into 3rd place ahead of Hapilopper, the modal selection for the group. Sounds ver much like a no-brainer to us.

Group 6
Most Picked: Ochre Islands (32 points, 12.84 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Our Pick: Flavovespia (46 points, 21.8 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Optimal Option: República Guanacasteca (37 points, 8.45 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Zwangzug came out to be the runaway leader at the top, but we went for a relatively decent choice in Flavovespia, who came out to be second in the group and scoring a decent 46 points. It seems, however, the optimal picks didn't agree with us (or the poor modal option), instead going for sixth seeds República Guanacasteca, who scored 37 fantasy points.

Group 7
Most Picked: Delte (42 points, 11.58 KPB) (34.5% picked)
Our Pick: Delte
Optimal Option: New Gelderland (34 points, 0 KPB) (13.79% picked)
There has been a trend that we are basically picking playoff teams right now, though Group 7 will tell you otherwise. Most put their bets on Delte, and it does make some sense, given that they are a Pot 5 team and somehow managed to make it into the playoffs. While that is true, the optimal team went for the unranked option, who, lets be honest, isn't that obvious of a choice. Their return of 34 points comes to be the 4th best in the group.

Group 8
Most Picked: Tikariot (55 points, 17.89 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Our Pick: Tikariot
Optimal Option: Tikariot
It was an obvious choice, ain't it? Beat the defending world champions, yet has the cost of a Pot 3 team. This is, and will be, the only choice in which we, the modal selection, and the optimal team, agreed on a choice.

Group 9
Most Picked: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Our Pick: Drawkland (50 points, 27.68 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Optimal Option: Milchama
Milchama earned themselves a playoff spot over Starblaydia, and 7 teams placed them as their option of choice. Indeed, they got a solid haul of 47 points, and that was the reason why they were picked by the optimal team as well.

Group 10
Most Picked: West Barack and East Obama (27 points, 1.38 KPB) (31.03% picked)
Our Pick: Wreckeria (39 points, 12.67 KPB) (20.69% picked)
Optimal Option: Nyowani Kitara (52 points, 21.15 KPB) (3.45% picked)
Oh no. The crowd largely went for West Barack and East Obama to outperform their rank, but instead, got just 27 fantasy point return for their team. I mean, its not too bad, but when compared to New Gelderland you just wonder how diffiuclt it is to find those unranked heros. Our team went for the second option Wreckeria, which gave us a haul of 39 points. The optimal team when for a shock choice, picking Nyowani Kitara as the pick for Group 10, with their 52 points haul topping the group at 21.15 KPB.

Group 11
Most Picked: Gnejs (39 points, 6.51 KPB) (27.59% picked)
Our Pick: Gnejs
Optimal Option: Chromatika (53 points, 22.04 KPB) (10.34% picked)
We went for the modal option, picking a 6.51 KPB team who scored 39 points. However, it seems this optimal team loves going for second-placed teams worth 50 points and above, and that is what they picked. The second seeds that scored maximum points.

Group 12
Most Picked: Adab (48 points, 23.43 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Our Pick: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB) (13.80% picked)
Optimal Option: Savojarna
Hell yea! Banking on Savojarna to top the group, we went for that option ahead of the ever-popular former IAC champions Adab, and that turned out to be a move that even the optimal team agreed. Like, having 5 more points but 7 less KPB? Count me in!

Group 13
Most Picked: Independent Athletes from Quebec (42 points, 26.62 KPB) (20.69 % picked)
Our Pick: Oberour Ar Moro (33 points, 15.31 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Optimal Option: Baggieland (37 points, 9.19 KPB) (13.79% picked)
This was a really tough group to pick. most went for Quebec, but their performance as a whole wasn't really fantastic, bagging only 42 points despite being a 2nd seed. The optimal team went through the choices, and went for sixth seeds Baggieland, who scored a decent 37 points despite costing just 9.19 KPB.

Group 14
Most Picked: Cabo Azure (33 points, 14.14 KPB) (31.03% picked)
Our Pick: Cabo Azure
Optimal Option: Ziwana (38 points, 4.2 KPB) (3.45% picked)
Most entries went for Cabo Azure, but the fourth seeds struggled really hard this time and failed to score a decent result in a really difficult group. As a result, in consideration of the various reasons, the optimal team went for the eighth seeds Ziwana, who punched above their weight and managed to score 38 points.

Group 15
Most Picked: Huayramarca (50 points, 29.07 KPB) (20.69 % picked)
Our Pick: Montaña Verde (29 points, 3.95 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Optimal Option: Acastanha (42 points, 14.13 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Sometimes there is simply no relation between what you pick and the outcome. The majority of the people were right, picking Huayramarca as the main option, and were rewarded with a solid 50 fantasy points. We went for a cheap otpion, but this cheap option didn't provide us with much returns. The optimal team, perhaps unsurprisingly, went for Acastanha, the fourth seeds who punched above their weight to produce 42 fantasy points on their way to securing a playoff spot.

We therefore look at the optimal team for this time round:
Group 1: Ceni (40 points, 8.90 KPB) (44.83% picked)
Group 2: Ranoria (42 points, 13.85 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 3: Kelssek (50 points, 19.41 KPB) (0% picked)
Group 4: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 5: Kimi-Suomi (41 points, 12.32 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 6: República Guanacasteca (37 points, 8.45 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Group 7: New Gelderland (34 points, 0 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Group 8: Tikariot (55 points, 17.89 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Group 9: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Group 10: Nyowani Kitara (52 points, 21.15 KPB) (3.45% picked)
Group 11: Chromatika (53 points, 22.04 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Group 12: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 13: Baggieland (37 points, 9.19 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Group 14: Ziwana (38 points, 4.2 KPB) (3.45% picked)
Group 15: Acastanha (42 points, 14.13 KPB) (10.34% picked)

The optimal team, therefore, utilised 197.95 KPB, and yet we achieved a score of 672, defeating winners Poafmersia by 88 points. Even the collective wisdom of all entries was not able to beat the score, with the team requiring 244.22 KPB, yet only achieving 609 fantasy points.

Curiously, we ran a simulation where there was absolutely no restriction of how many teams per group you can select. This means that you could pick more than 1 team from every group, only capped by the fact that you can only pick 15 teams in total. In the end, the simulated "optimal team" outdone itself slightly, scoring 683 fanatsy points by utilising 198.84 KPB. The team is enclosed below for your reading pleasure:
Group 2: Ranoria (42 points, 13.85 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 3: Kelssek (50 points, 19.41 KPB) (0% picked)
Group 4: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 4: Estorvipa and Estorpiva (37 points, 6.02 KPB) (6.90% picked)
Group 7: Delte (42 points, 11.58 KPB) (34.5% picked)
Group 7: New Gelderland (34 points, 0 KPB) (13.79% picked)
Group 8: Tikariot (55 points, 17.89 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Group 8: Eraman (44 points, 13.28 KPB) (0% picked)
Group 9: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB) (24.14% picked)
Group 10: Nyowani Kitara (52 points, 21.15 KPB) (3.45% picked)
Group 11: Chromatika (53 points, 22.04 KPB) (10.34% picked)
Group 11: Gnejs (39 points, 6.51 KPB) (27.59% picked)
Group 12: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB) (13.80% picked)
Group 12: HUElavia (46 points, 16.49 KPB) (17.24% picked)
Group 14: Ziwana (38 points, 4.2 KPB) (3.45% picked)

There was, of course, a question of whether the budget was too high. We ran the simulator using a 100 KPB budget, and we were horrified to realise that only 4 entries beat the optimal team, and a fifth entry was level with them on points but used 189.02 KPB. This optimal team scored 550 fantasy points using a mere 99.32 KPB.
Group 1: Ceni (40 points, 8.90 KPB)
Group 2: Ranoria (42 points, 13.85 KPB)
Group 3: Koronavia (28 points, 2.5 KPB)
Group 4: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB)
Group 5: Legalese (33 points, 6.36 KPB)
Group 6: República Guanacasteca (37 points, 8.45 KPB)
Group 7: New Gelderland (34 points, 0 KPB)
Group 8: North Cassadaigua (32 points, 0 KPB)
Group 9: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB)
Group 10: West Barack and East Obama (27 points, 1.38 KPB)
Group 11: Gnejs (39 points, 6.51 KPB)
Group 12: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB)
Group 13: Elmyia (26 points, 1 KPB)
Group 14: Talannua (32 points, 1 KPB)
Group 15: Montaña Verde (29 points, 3.95 KPB)

What if you gave it too much budget? We upped the budget limit to 300 KPB, and our optimal team spat out one with 295.55 KPB used, and got 733 fantasy points.
Group 1: Ceni (40 points, 8.90 KPB)
Group 2: Kandorith (56 points, 36.67 KPB)
Group 3: Kelssek (50 points, 19.41 KPB)
Group 4: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB)
Group 5: Kimi-Suomi (41 points, 12.32 KPB)
Group 6: Zwangzug (55 points, 32.57 KPB)
Group 7: Delte (42 points, 11.58 KPB)
Group 8: Tikariot (55 points, 17.89 KPB)
Group 9: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB)
Group 10: Nyowani Kitara (52 points, 21.15 KPB)
Group 11: Chromatika (53 points, 22.04 KPB)
Group 12: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB)
Group 13: Mercedini (43 points, 18.24 KPB)
Group 14: TJUN-ia (45 points, 19.29 KPB)
Group 15: Huayramarca (50 points, 29.07 KPB)

An option that we thought about was if upgrading from 200 KPB budget to 250 KPB would produce just 3 changes, given that the 300 KPB change saw 6 changes. An internal experiment, the optimiser gave us an option with 248.81 KPB, and 706 fantasy points. 4 changes was what they used.
Group 1: Ceni (40 points, 8.90 KPB)
Group 2: Yuezhou (44 points, 16.7 KPB)
Group 3: Kelssek (50 points, 19.41 KPB)
Group 4: Geektopia (48 points, 13.52 KPB)
Group 5: Kimi-Suomi (41 points, 12.32 KPB)
Group 6: Zwangzug (55 points, 32.57 KPB)
Group 7: New Gelderland (34 points, 0 KPB)
Group 8: Tikariot (55 points, 17.89 KPB)
Group 9: Milchama (47 points, 15.35 KPB)
Group 10: Nyowani Kitara (52 points, 21.15 KPB)
Group 11: Chromatika (53 points, 22.04 KPB)
Group 12: Savojarna (53 points, 16.55 KPB)
Group 13: Mercedini (43 points, 18.24 KPB)
Group 14: Ziwana (38 points, 4.2 KPB)
Group 15: Huayramarca (50 points, 29.07 KPB)

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Just Win don't Lose, Baby
Salwan Mynhier

For the second time this World Cup cycle, the Black-and-Reds walked out onto a higher-ranked team's home field and came away with a narrow one-nil victory.

The match in Audioslavia was, for the most part, a defensive struggle. Both back lines were sturdy and resolute, and each team's single striker formation struggled to make much headway against the determined effort. For the Black-and-Reds, the usual suspects, striker Fridtjofs and wingers Yonte and Bondarov were as ineffective as their Audioslavian counterparts. It was left to one of the unlikeliest players to break the deadlock just before the half. Hashemi's wickedly curving 45th-minute corner kick glanced smoothly off the head of Fridtjofs, struck Volonte full in the face, and the mad scramble was on. After several mighty swings were taken at the ball by both halves and failed to connect squarely, Mata-Curie managed a somewhat scuffed clearance that saw the ball finally leave the penalty area. It only made it as far as the penalty arc, though, where Tabur had been lurking, and waiting to stymie any counterattack attempts in the dying minutes. With a crowd still within the six-yard box, Creighton had a very poor view of the shot, and while the Bulls argued vehemently that Fridtjofs had impeded the Audioslavian keeper's vision from an offside position, the ref was having none of it, and awarded the goal.

So here we are then, heading into the final match of the long slog of qualifying. Twenty matches unbeaten. Eight of those twenty were draws, yes, but seven of the last eight have been victories. As has been pointed out, it's been a very long time since the Black-and-Reds have lost at home. That unbeaten streak also stands at twenty matches, and stretches back over two years. But any fan of either one of these teams will tell you, the past doesn't determine the future. I could point out that the SRS has never lost a World Cup Qualifying Playoff tie, having been victorious over Electrum last time out, and over Trolleborg in cycle 88. I could also tell you truthfully that Squornshelous, which is of course now a part of the SRS and of which the SRS was formerly part, hasn't won a qualifying playoff since World Cup 37, a 5-2 aggregate victory over Geisenfried, and that their most recent attempt to qualify via playoff ended with a disastrous 2-9 shellacking at the hands of Terre Septentrionale. A 9-1 aggregate savaging of Vozvyshennost in the qualifying playoffs for World Cup 11 could also be mentioned, every bit as relevant as these other statistics. Whether Bulls or Black-and-Reds, 'Slaves or Pschychoes will advance will be decided by the players on the field in the second leg. Some will rise to the occasion, and become their nation's newest heroes, whether expected or unlikely. Others will be scapegoats, fairly or unfairly blamed for someone's trip to the Cup of Harmony.

Audioslavia - 0
Squornshelan Remnant States - 1

Goals:
SRS: Tabur 45'

Lineup:
SRS: Shimski; Nyberg, W. Harkhan, Titov, Halfariani; Tabur (Hedberg 89'), Hashemi; Bondarov (Bakken 81'), Zazagan (Nisarizo 81'), Yonte; Fridtjofs (Petrov 70')

Schedule and Results

FRND: SRS 0-0 DRK @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem
FRND: SRS 1-2 CBP @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem

MD01: RAN 2-1 SRS @ Smith Field (cap. 19,050), Richardson, RAN
MD02: SRS 3-2 SCO @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD03: YZH 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD04: SRS 0-0 PYA @ Black Raven Field (cap. TBA), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD05: BRP 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD06: SRS 4-3 TLI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD07: KAN 0-1 SRS @ Empress Masumi Stadium (cap. 90,000), Tenkyo, KAN
MD08:     BYE
MD09: SRS 1-0 BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 46,950), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD10: NSV 3-5 SRS @ Tiên Sơn Stadium, Đà Nẵng, NSV
MD11: SRS 2-2 SRG @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle Megabrantis, SRS
MD12: SRS 0-0 RAN @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD13: SCO 3-3 SRS @ SuperNerd Wants To Fight Video Game And Computer Store Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD14: SRS 3-3 YZH @ Slavnareczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD15: PYA 1-5 SRS @ TBA
MD16: SRS 4-1 BRP @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD17: TLI 0-1 SRS @ LTI Stadium (cap. 75,000), Montfort, TLI
MD18: SRS 2-2 KAN @ Vogsphere Arena (cap. 90,000), Vogsphere, Isle of Squornshelous, SRS
MD19:     BYE
MD20: BGJ 1-4 SRS @ TBA
MD21: SRS 2-1 NSV @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD22: SRG 1-2 SRS @ Estadio Generalissimo Joaqín Delgado (cap. 108,879), Soluca, SRG

PO1: AUD 0-1 SRS @ TBA
PO2: SRS  v  AUD @ Albrechtsson Park (cap. 65,400), Damogran, Algolia, SRS

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Forum focus on international issues, rather than BP
Commonwealth Press Association wire report


(Hamilton)--During last night's Party Roundtable*, much of the discussion centered on current foreign policy in regards to Baker Park's relationship with other nations and regions, independent of the wider Atlantian Oceania community.

Conservative Party leader Kevin Prendharkar dove straight into the questions he's raised about the various diplomatic approaches taken to certain nations relative to others.
“I don't really understand why the Prime Minister continues to do a high wire act over Jabal Akhdar and Graintfjell. We are propping up a regime that is harboring terrorists and continuing to allow a Rushmori naval presence within our region. We're all over the road when it comes how we are responding to all sorts of events going on across Rushmore.”

Federalist Party leader Rebecca Schoenlein pointed out Mr Prendharkar's lack of experience in diplomatic affairs as she summarized the current status quo. “I want to remind the Executive that Baker Park are not in Rushmore, we are in AO. While we have reservations and concerns about things happening there, it is not our place to make the same mistake that Graintfjall is committing.
Jabal Akhdar is a sovereign country, a member of AO and a near neighbor. We have, alongside the rest of the AORDO, drawn a firm line as to what we will allow from the Graintfjall Navy; this isn't anywhere near the same kind of issue that the State Congress handles. Newport isn't threatening to fire missiles at Middletown—at least I don't think they are”.

Lauren Fleisher Vincenzo of the Progressives picked up the same theme in turning towards a different regional situation.
“We are how far along in the aftermath of Foxchester? Yet we still have not come to long term trade & travel normalization agreements with most of the nations, save a few that wanted us to fast track their approval.”

Schoenlein pointed out that it was easier said than done in the current state of AO-Anaia relations.
“I know the very distinguished lady is aware that the Anaians have banded together into a single free trade zone, so we don't have the ability to pick & choose who we'd like to work with on that front. The nations we made agreements with early have been forced to take back some provisions, but we still are lucky to have some open channels. If the bloc is open to discussions with us, we will work with them to see what we can agree upon.”

Barbara LeMoyne of the Green Party wondered “if the Commonwealth could take more of an aggressive lead in steering AO nations towards an environmental impact regulation scheme similar to this country?”
“I suppose I could ask other leaders if they would read the PIB** on corporate profit and EI taxes. I don't know how many could or would be able to implement it. The very distinguished lady is fully aware that the government is completely committed to reducing carbon footprint, environmental sustainability and emissions reduction. She also knows that we do not try and force any of our policies on others, but simply make suggestions.”

LTA leader David Harrison returned to the major domestic topic at issue for this particular election, the revision of the Goods & Services Tax (GST) tiers and distribution***.
“I know the Prime Minister has made GST a major centerpiece of the Federalist campaign, but there has been so much information about projected revenues and potential savings bandied about. Can she—I understand that there's no policy been discussed—offer the electorate a breakdown on real life impact?”

Schoenlein gave her most deliberately worded answer to this question.
“I think...in my own imagination of what GST would look like 14-18 months from now...we'd have a lower rate at the lowest price tier and a bit higher rate at the highest tier...and have a distribution that sees local governments get an increase...but overall everyone would see a net individual reduction.”

Kevin Consadine of the Social Democratic Party got the last question of the opening, returning to the foreign policy field. “The talk coming out from the Ministry of State for Defense is that a fresh round of long-term investment in systems and capital projects will be needed during the next Parliament. Are you proposing that we are going to increase the military both in personnel and capability?”

The incumbent PM returned to a more direct style.
“The very distinguished gentleman understands that we are always looking to stay ahead of the curve in systems development and replacing our fleet as need arises. Not to mention that we are also receiving bid requests to build military infrastructure from other nations that will require an upfront cost investment before we can recoup that upon completion.”

*--There are no debates for General Elections, rather there is a Roundtable format where all of the party leaders are given an opportunity to ask one question to the previous Prime Minister (or the leader of the party if the incumbent doesn't stand again); the order is determined by a blind draw and there's a 3:30 minute limit per question/answer (the answerer is allowed to go over).
Following this, every other party leader goes through the same process, except the time is reduced to 3 minutes; once everyone has faced their opponents, there is a 4 minute closing address per candidate.

**--PIB is Public Information Bulletin, a pamphlet available from Parliament on a topic that explains the details of an element or function of Parliament, the Constitution, or hundreds of other matters, to anyone submitting a request.

***--GST is a national sales tax, which is scaled based on the retail cost--under $20, $20-150, and $150+--and is partially "passed through" to states on a 2:1 basis; the federal cut is about 1/4 of general tax revenue annually, but with other sources rising, there is a sentiment to give states (and local governments) a bigger share.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Lineup vs Adab (2nd Leg--BBP National Stadium, Belle Haven [74,000])

Johnston; Bruce, Edmonds, Freeman; C Logan, Nolan (C), Buxton, Reynolds; D'Amico; Garvey, McDavid
bench--Callaway, Brooks, Bauer, Eichorn, Milton, Vuckovic, Altman, West, Craig

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Independent Athletes from Quebec (IAQ) - World Cup 92 Team
Leg 2, Play-Off vs. Brenecia

GOALKEEPERS (3): Seung-Myeon Kravitz-Hyeon (Montreal Koreana), Sandra Middleton (Brinemouth, NPH), Leopold Shim (Megabrantid, SRS)

DEFENDERS (9): Pierre-Karl Cizeron (CDSA, MYT), Coriolan (Busukuma AC, BNJ), Hannah Kim (Damogran, SRS), Clement Mattern-Soh (Perce Town), Noel-Hercule McKinley (Columbia City, TMB), Pierre-Karl Miller (RGS Athletic, EFL), Benoit Nianzou (Deportivo Junin, VLD), Benoit-Richard Ukaleq (Mipojoseon), Kenneca Watts-Galgundec (Olympia FC, EFL)

MIDFIELDERS (7): Jean-Christophe Babin (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Mathinna Bouck (Montreal Koreana), Joelinton Dyxkeson (Brantisvogan, SRS), Medea Morin-Antonoff (Southern Star, BRE), Alexei Morozov (Sanford Der Berg PREMIER FK, ZRH), Vegeta (Cazadores Cathair, AUD), Rebecca-Anne Wawanolett (Chromatik, CMT)

FORWARDS (6): Hannah Currie-Masson (Leaside Lions), Enrico Hanson-Conavacio (Myana, CMT), Kate Huitema-Omeasoo (Istria City FC, BNJ), Kim Seung-Yoon (RGS Athletic, EFL), Eloise Kweon (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Zinaida Woodcarver (Crisisbless, NPH)

Expected Starting XI vs Brenecia (4-2-3-1):
Woodcarver
E. Kweon - Babin - Huitema-Omeasoo
Dyxkeson - Wawanolett
Ukaleq - H. Kim - Cizeron - P. Miller
S. Middleton

The room all of sudden dropped silent, with an exception of a flash or two that had come from some distance away.

‘Well, I don’t know how to explain to such a massive crowd we have here,’ Enrico opened his mouth again. ‘But yes. It’s inevitable that we are here at the Reneegrad Complex at some point to discuss about my future with this team, even as we still have a massive playoff round to play against Brenecia, a team quite similar to us in making and thought. It is something that coach Condori and those just upstairs at the RQFA headquarters have been made aware of, at the earliest time period possible, and it is also something that I have shared my words with fellow members of the Grim Reapers’ squad.’

He would notice a familiar face, a certain local reporter from ‘The Mathletic’ named Patrice Moreno, raised his hand from the second row of journalists present at the conference room.

‘Yes, Mr. Moreno? First to go for the kill?’ Enrico asked. A round of chuckles followed the rest of the conference room.

‘Enrico, I would first like to thank you for the past decade of service with the Quebecois national team.’ Patrice opened his mouth. The long-grizzled veteran of sports journalism was no friend of the RQFA or the Grim Reapers, and his reportage pieces of the volatile operations of the senior team have more or less drawn the fire of those higher up.

And yet, the bald, 57-year old lad would always find himself in the middle of all things Quebecois football, and much of this was made possible thanks to his connections with almost every footballer who had reached a certain calibre of top-tier play in this country. Those considered to be more on the firebrand like Enrico, Chewbacca and Marco Hertel would generously give their words to him, while quieter members of the footballing caucus such as Sandra Middleton, Zinaida Woodcarver and former captain Frank Lundrigan had easily placed their trust on him. The trust had flown both ways, and it was more than enough for him to earn the credibility mark.

He would continue to speak. ‘It has been an absolute pleasure from all of us here tonight, at the Reneegrad Complex, to be here with you. As we have felt the same over your distinguished career.’

A round of applause followed as the 34-year old forward would find himself overwhelmed for once by the flashes thrown his way. Not the way I had expected to go, they say it’s always brutal to go out this way in Joongyeong of all places. Enrico thought to himself, watching the round of applause last from one second to five, then to ten seconds, before eventually finishing after about a minute of it all.

‘Thank you. Thank you,’ Enrico said, ‘I won’t deny that it hasn’t been the easiest of ride, to represent my father’s country after a long time waiting.’ He would pause for a second, remembering briefly that representing the Tricolour Taegeuk, no matter how much the Joongyeong media had tried to frame it as ‘Hero’s Home-Coming’, was a second choice of his. ‘It’s a decision that I made a decade ago. A decision that, if I have to be honest, my parents had never expected me to do. Heck, a fourteen-year-old me would not have expected me to play for Quebec.’

All of sudden the room felt lot quieter, the journalist realising that Enrico was speaking from his mind - out of uncertainty. ‘So being part of all this, to come back to Joongyeong and not Equinox Hill, was new to me,’ Enrico continued to speak, sensing a light layer of nervousness in his voice. ‘But all of this, in the end, was worth the risk, and something that I remain forever grateful for. And I would like to thank everybody for making this possible.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Conavacio.’ Another reporter, an East Coast-based woman who would normally cover Haligonian, would proceed with her own question. ‘You have made yourself immortal for your achievements in Chromatika and Quebec. What are your thoughts on what has been a highly-accomplished career up to this point? You have won countless honours, trophies and golden balls at Myana, one of the most dominant clubs in what’s a top-four association, and even found yourself named to the All-Red-League Best-XI. You have led the Grim Reapers back to international relevance, contributing to two automatic qualifications and the Quebecois’ first knockout round appearance in thirty years. How do you feel about it all as you look back on your career?’

‘Well, here’s a problem. And it’s that I am not retiring from Myana just yet.’ Enrico chuckled, with the rest of the room answering back with a laughter of their own. The question of a full retirement, that had involved him walking off the pitches of Myana, had not exactly happened yet. And while Enrico had made his mind on the matter, the forward had felt that it was best for him to not say it outside his family until after the Play-offs were over.

‘That aside, I think I’ve been ridiculously lucky to become part of a world-class organisation like Myana, and also to play for the Grim Reapers. It wasn’t the smoothest of rides but I am more than certain that when all of this is going to be over at some point….I will gladly have no regrets and what-if’s looking back to it all.’

‘Thank you for your honest words, Mr. Conavacio,’ said the next reporter. The male in his late-twenties, while noticeable due to his height, wasn’t someone that Enrico had recognised at the spot. ‘What’s your plan for life after football? Where do you see finding yourself after football?’

‘Well there really isn’t a life after football, isn’t?’ Enrico answered back, the question bothering him a little bit with what it was implying. ‘Football’s a way of life, and I don’t think neither you nor I could replace it with something else fabricated and fake. So I’ll certainly be out there working with and for the sport, with the only exception of one thing.’

‘That being?’ the same reporter asked.

‘Coaching senior-level football,’ Enrico grinned. ‘While I remain very much open to the idea of a managerial career or just sticking to a highly-technical field of positional coaching, I don’t think I am the right type of person to head into management, especially at such a high level like senior level football. There is a common saying that legendary players often make for bad managers, and while I do not know if this holds much truth in general, I know my own limitations as a person and find myself better suited for helping out children and youth finding their love for the sport.’

‘Thank you,’ the reporter answered. Nobody was surprised this time, however, as Enrico’s general lack of interest in a managerial career had been known for a while. Many Quebecois national teamers, whether at his calibre or worse, would normally start preparing for the next steps of their life. Whether it be a managerial career, front office, or just settling into a cozier role in the commentating booths, something would line up for those who had come looking, and there was no doubt that Enrico, if he had wished to, would have no trouble settling into one.

But for Enrico everything was all too clear. Unlike his parents, whose genuine love for football had driven them into the fateful path that night inside Alianza FC’s complex, and would continue into the stadiums of Equestria, HUElavia and Valladares, Enrico had a simpler vision of life. It was a vision that the veteran had rarely thought out while young, but would discover about six years ago when Enrico, then a bachelor, met an NPD local organiser at a national convention that was held in Equinox Hill, his paternal family's hometown that was famous for 'the Arsenal'. While nobody, certainly not those close to him or his famous sister, would have believed that's how Enrico met his wife, the story would quickly turn into a stable, high-mileage marriage that would have him think differently than before.

One that involved him coming home regularly. Attending his children’s school concerts, driving them to early-morning hockey practice and picking them up after an evening choir practice…..Perhaps helping them out with homework, though he was a notoriously poor student when younger anyway. Loads of positive possibilities without costing much.

And one that would involve as little travel as possible. Not that it’s possible considering the sport he was at, but there’s got to be something that could work out the best way possible for all. Being part of a major sporting family, however, Enrico knew that it was easier said than done. This was something that another major veteran of his generation, Frank Lundrigan, had longed for, but was having a hard time figuring out on own with his wife, a fellow countryman and former nemesis Tessa Maitfield, abroad.

Must be hard for them to figure out their plans when he’s in Adab and she Banija.. a thought flashed through his mind, as another journalist would proceed with their question. ‘If there is one player you have not had the best of times with over the years, who would it be?’

‘Tessa Maitfield,’ Enrico answered. ‘And Frank Lundrigan, if we wanna be completely honest about it. Entire Joongyeong knows too, don’t worry. But we’ll all make up for the tiniest of feuds in a decade, just wait.’

This part was true. On a normal pre-retirement conference like this, there would be a murmur or a gasp, for it would mean that two of the most dominant players to have graced this land in recent memory - him through national team and her the league - ‘are’ or ‘were’ in bad terms. But the Quebecois footballing circuit was small and tightly intertwined enough that a minor feud, one that had originated from the differing perspectives of expatriate second-generation players, whose life positions had and still differ to now, would somehow mushroom into something on another level.

But then the times have really looked So everybody knew, gave another laugh or two, and then moved on. ‘You have remained very quiet about your private life. You were born in Sao Jose Guayabal, lived in and travelled across many countries, but have lived mostly alone by yourself while in Myana. Would you encourage your children to take up football as a sport?’ another journalist asked.

This caught Enrico surprised, as he had genuinely not thought out this in advance. ‘I would not force my children to take up football. But then, Dragan’s 4 and Tijana’s 2. Bit too early for them to think about playing football after all.’ He said. ‘But then, you never know. I’m sure my mother and father didn’t think about Hazel playing basketball, a fairly niche sport in Schottia, or Matteo, who wrestles for the national team now, so who knows really? I’ll support them on whatever that they wish to do, provided they are willing to battle through the trenches for them.’

The same journo was quick in asking the follow-up question. 'Will you be finding yourself cheering for Dragan or Tijana on the stands, if they will be facing an opponent as respectable and formidable as Brenecia or Mytanija at The Reneegrad or the Blue Point Stadium?' They asked.

Enrico answered back with a grin: 'Yes, but on the third-floor stands. I like having beer without being spotted by the camera.'

The press conference would go on for another half-hour. For the most part, it had stayed cordial and light-hearted, with Enrico answering the questions thrown his way in a way that an old schoolmate of yours, whom you had not seen in a while but had shared many good memories, would. And while nobody had felt any less nervous about the upcoming Grim Reapers' play-off leg against Brenecia, everybody would at least feel a sense of anticipation to the play-off series where no one would surrender, all guns would blaze, and everyone playing their fullest for the matter of pride. Here. We. Go.

[Electrum]

FOOTSPORT ASSOCIATIONS OF VILITA & ELECTRUM - WC92 ✓

@TheTurnip

Hamster liberation? What about parsnip liberation? #FreeTheParsNip

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#CUTOFF #PLAYOFF #LEG2 :: #GRP_1-7