[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

[Vilita]

FOOTSPORT ASSOCIATIONS OF VILITA & ELECTRUM - WC92 ✓

@FAVE92

Hacking this fan is so much easier now that I've been working on my trailer. #CenianCutoffSong


#CUTOFF :: #GRP_8-15

To those who depart tonight by the grace of margaret, there have been some great contributions across the board - Thanks for your contributions and we hope to see you back next cycle!

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

The Overachiever Awards

Time once again for the annual Overachiever Awards, handed out to those nations that have performed above and beyond expectations, perhaps maybe not in their own mind but at least in the eyes of the NSWC participants (well, me actually, although there's plenty of commentary OOC & ICly about those who are smashing through the 'established order').

The totally arbitrary 'rules' governing the definition of what "overachieving" consists of usually start with a nation that will finish at a minimum three places in the final group table ahead of their original seeding from the Group Stage Draw; this can also be extended to those nations that maintained such a record for a lengthy period of time over the course of the tournament but perhaps ran out of gas at the end, or a nation that potentially still could meet the criterium over the final fixtures. Two pot advancement is also a significant achievement, especially for new nations or those returning after extended absence.

With that, let's kick things off!

11th seeds—Everyone loves an underdog story and this cycle we have a pair, as New Gelderland (Group 7) are still battling for a playoff spot and North Cassadaigua (8) have made the biggest jumps from their pot at +8 and +6 respectively.
10th seeds—there are three nations from this pot who have risen above the bottom of the table battles, starting with Talannua (14, +6), Captina Island (12, +4) and Elmyia (13, +3).
9th seeds—three winners from this pot including Koronavia (3, +3), West Barack & East Obama (10, +3) and Cap Nord (14, +3)
8th seeds—there's four nations from pot 8 who've punched above their weight with Estorvipa & Estorpiva in Group 4 (+3), Legalese (5, +3), Gneis (11, +3) and Ziwana (14, +3) getting into the top half of their respective tables.
7th seeds—the farther up we go, the thinner the field gets, as there's no pot 7 side currently in 4th place or better, although an honorable mention goes to Kuraita, which was in the middle of a five team battle for the 2nd through 6th spots in Group 5, rising to 2nd just after the halfway mark, but have faded to 5th.
6th seeds—only Ceni in Group 1 carries the banner for their cohort and making the list two cycles in a row.
5th seeds—another Group 5 nation gets a nod, as Kimi-Suomi led the pack for stretches of the campaign and currently sit 2nd, with Delte in Group 7 likewise outperforming their number 2 & 3 seeds; Brookstation in Group 11 rounds out the trio with an honorable mention to Chartistan, which still could finish runner up having chased Valanora and Mercedini throughout.
4th seeds—no winners here, although Ranoria deserves props for spending a not insignificant amount of time atop the Group 2 table.

Special mention goes to Tikariot, who have led Group 8 since matchday 10 and remain just one of three nations (along with Bainja and TJUN-ia) to have not been beaten through tournament thus far.

Congratulations to everyone mentioned above, best of luck to all of them and the rest of you as well.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Day of reckoning for BP
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

When the Commonwealth National Team step onto the pitch at the Olympic Stadium in Nassau Bay, New Gelderland on Matchday 21, they will be at the fork in the road of their near term future.

A win over the hosts would likely secure their spot in the playoff, and depending on other results could see them overtake Delte in second place after having been 10 points behind after 11 matches; a defeat will render the final match against Darmen meaningless except as a warmup for the Cup of Harmony.

Wins over StrayaRoos and Farfadillis extended the BP unbeaten run to seven in the second half of qualifying, and they will certainly rue the dropped points against Damukuni, Sarzonia, The Jovannic and Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison should they come up 1 or 2 points short of having an opportunity to extend their record qualification streak.

Manager Jen Prescott says she will continue to rely on the core squad over the final two matches and the potential playoff, with Zach Johnston getting a second consecutive start in goal; scoring from the forwards is something of an embarrassment of riches for Prescott, as she's kept far more players than would normally be utilized in a stripped down squad.
"Who can you leave off among the people we have right now? We're back to the issue from Trevor and Pam's teams--we've got a lot of people who can play the slot (behind the front two forwards) and it's hard to resist keeping as many of them as you can."

Ayana West will wear the armband in what could be her final NT match, as the Sherwood Forest Ladies star has said the upcoming WNL season will be her last. The most prolific female scorer in Baker Park NT history and 3rd on the all time list will make her 101st appearance still two shy of the 50 goal plateau, so don't be surprised by a determined effort.

From a different perspective of the unknowns at the fork in the road, there is the question of money; FAC General Secretary Allison LeFleur confirmed to The Daily Mail that the financial impact of not qualifying for the World Cup Finals would be in the range of CBP$15-25 million, primarily on refunds to TV rights holders and losses on merchandise sales.

"It wouldn't be losing money we already have, but not gaining money we would expect. We've had to ask a couple of other associations about what the Cup of Harmony payout structure is like and of course it's not anywhere as lucrative as the World Cup. We have a substantial cash reserve that we've built up over time, putting away money from co-hosting, from taking a bit out of the previous payouts from other World Cups. We were given a generous share of the revenue from the Jenna Raven Cup from the SFA for handling the administration. So financially, missing out on qualifying would probably end up being net revenue neutral although it would be psychologically a bit of a setback."

"Of course we take an enormous amount of professional pride in our unique circumstances, but when you look at it from a broader picture, we are now among the top 32 domestic leagues, thanks in large part to our success internationally. The Clubs Committee (made up of representatives from across the membership of 300+ pro, semi-pro, and amateur clubs) has been made aware of the these potential setbacks."



Notebook:
--The Chromatik Rainbow League celebrated 10 years of existence by naming their All-Decade Red League Team and the two players who were the face of the Commonwealth in Chromatika were honored with First Team selections; Alan Wiseman was cited as one of the most decorated defenders in League history while Lainey Wadsworth was recognized for her role in helping Anomalies FC to three straight titles and her consistent scoring season after season.
--Christa Vuckovic, when asked if she thought that Baker Park's experience was putting pressure on the other sides in the playoff fight: "We don't think about stuff like that. Look, we know who we are and we've all been in situations where your instincts take over rather than having to wonder for that split second.
Has there ever been a situation that you recall that Baker Park have intimidated another side on our reputation alone? Please. Whichever team works the hardest and makes the fewest mistakes will decide this match, just like the last Delte game (a 3-1 BP win). You'd have ask them if they are worried about their form relative to us."


Lineup vs New Gelderland (MD21)

Johnston; Bruce, Onikambe, Bauer; Ryan, Vuckovic, Milton, Altman; Price; West (C), Harris
bench--McCormack, Callaway; Brooks, S Knight, Freeman, Edmonds; C. Logan, Eichorn, D'Amico, Nolan, Buxton, Reynolds, Shanahan, Vetter; McDavid, Garvey, Craig, Mack

Lineup vs Darmen (MD22)

Will be dependent on the result of the first match. I've grouped the subs in the same way as the starters so you can choose a lineup that fits your RP

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 15
Eura 4–2 Indusse
Scorers:
Vincent 32, Sharp 40, Brookfield 43, Woodman 66
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
4. J Menard
27. M Hart
19. J Byrd (sub Green 62)
8. V Robshaw (sub Stewart 62)
16. O Vincent (sub Brown 80)
11. B Malone
12. O James
7. A Woodman (sub Marshall 83)
14. A Sharp (sub Singh 70)
17. R Brookfield

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 16
Krytenia 2–2 Eura
Scorers:
Gates 62, Singh 80
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt (sub Simm 85)
21. M McKenzie (sub Mason 69)
4. J Menard
15. K Sherwood
5. T Green
23. E Reeve (sub Almwood 64)
6. J Gates
28. T Matthews (sub Robshaw 57)
16. O Vincent
9. S Robson (sub Sharp 77)
10. S Singh

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 17
Eura 4–2 Geektopia
Scorers:
Stewart 17, Sherwood 37, Robson 40, Sharp 82
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
4. J Menard
15. K Sherwood
5. T Green (sub Phillips 71)
6. J Gates (sub Matthews 87)
24. G Stewart
12. O James (sub Malone 66)
10. S Singh
7. A Woodman (sub West 71)
9. S Robson (sub Brookfield 71)
14. A Sharp

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 18
Estorvipa and Estorpiva 3–2 Eura
Scorers:
Robson 30, Robshaw 73
Lineup:
30. V Simm
19. J Byrd
25. Q Phillips (sub Singh 90+1)
5. T Green
18. F Brown
24. G Stewart (sub Robshaw 62)
22. D Barnes (sub Mason 55)
20. B West
29. R Marshall (sub Woodman 82)
9. S Robson
17. R Brookfield (sub Sharp 75)

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 19
Eura 2–0 Equestria
Scorers:
Robson 27, Almwood 44
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason (sub McKenzie 72)
4. J Menard
15. K Sherwood
25. Q Phillips (sub Byrd 65)
3. L Almwood (sub Reeve 86)
6. J Gates
8. V Robshaw (sub Brown 77)
10. S Singh (sub Matthews 85)
9. S Robson
14. A Sharp

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 20
Olastor 1–3 Eura
Scorers:
Vivier 7, West 60, Barnes 65
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
19. J Byrd
15. K Sherwood
27. M Hart (sub Green 76)
28. T Matthews (sub Brown 69)
16. O Vincent
22. D Barnes (sub McKenzie 80)
20. B West
12. O James (sub Reeve 76)
17. R Brookfield (sub Sharp 53)
26. T Vivier

---

Somewhere south of Troubalose, an innocent looking hedgerow was rudely disturbed by a group of armed men emerging from its clutches. They stopped in the middle of a dirt road and waited.
Feee-yuuuuuw!
A sharp whistle turned their heads to the left. From the lip of a nearby depression, another armed figure waved toward them and beckoned them to venture into the dip in the terrain. The group in the road obliged, crouch walking over to their new friend, before vanishing below the short range horizon.
These were Euran Marine Commandos, joining even more of their comrades in a deep gully, within earshot of the mansion where Azad Günaydin’s had been gunned down just hours ago. Another team had made it to safety.

It had been a rough night for the regrouped squads of the raiding force. The death toll had to be at least thirty on the helicopters that went down, and eighteen more had been killed on the ground battling to secure the perimeter around this site and in the hit on the target itself. There were wounded of both serious and walking varieties, with the former now being tended to by a civilian doctor in the kitchens of the wrecked mansion.
A scream rung out from inside the shattered windows of the building. Someone was having emergency surgery.
Marshall Williams tried to ignore it. Instead, he sat at the bottom of the gully, staring at the floor.
‘How’s tricks, Gold One?’

He was taken by surprise as Major Tate sat down beside him. The Major was effectively in charge of the operation on the ground and had now asserted his authority decisively to bring everyone together once dawn broke. Tate had also decided his troops should not move – they would hold in place, amidst uncertainty about what was going on elsewhere. All they had seen were sporadic airstrikes on the horizon and columns of smoke rising from central Troubalose and its dockyard.
‘Major, sir.’
‘At ease.’ The Major plucked a chocolate bar from a satchel strapped to his hip. He unwrapped it, snapped off a couple of chunks, and handed them to Marshall. ‘Here. Eat something. You look like shit. Now you’re a squad lead I need you on top of your game.’
‘Thanks...sir.’ Marshall stared at the chocolate in a daze, holding it in a long pause, before finally snapping out of it and taking a bite.

‘Assuming we get out of this in one piece,’ the Major continued, ‘I can see you getting a decoration. One of the big ones. You demonstrated immense bravery last night; I hope you know that. It’s a shame about what happened to your team leader.’
‘That’s just war though, right?’
‘Yeah. Sods law. He was solid. Just bad luck, really.’
‘Mmmm.’ Marshall didn’t really believe that. In the adrenaline of the moment, he had surged forward and abandoned caution. As the point man he should have been more cautious, and so it was his fault that his squad leader had quite literally bit the bullet.
But what could be done about it now? Nothing.
‘Hold on. What’s that?’
The two men rushed to the top of the gully amidst an almighty commotion and were treated to a sight they would never forget. This cut off, potentially surrounded special forces company faced a marching column of at least a thousand mercenaries…
…and they were holding white flags.
‘We’re going to need a lot of zip ties.’

---

In the situation room in Bastion there was jubilation in the air. Despite heavy casualties for the unit sent in to carry out the ambitious Euran decapitation strike on the “Red and Gold” leadership, their objective had undeniably been achieved, with the foremost figure in the Pasargan rebellion now dead. The original plan had been to take him alive but after advice from the security services it was deemed more pertinent to finish him off.
Of course, the Eurans would never tell anyone else this. It would have to be Bastion’s little secret.
The Prime Minister addressed the room. ‘Well done, everyone! I know you were given an unenviable task in the last couple of days, and particularly with Operation Red Shift, but you’ve done a fantastic job. We’re looking at mass surrenders from the mercenaries – no word yet on the defectors and true believers, but this will completely gut the rebel forces.’

‘In doing this, you give us and the Sargossans the luxury of a light touch air campaign to clear the rest of the country of rebel forces, rather than the full works. This could save hundreds of civilian lives, maybe even more. There will be no Trunca, not again. And in doing so you have reminded the whole region and wider world that Eura is the leading force no-one should trifle with. You should be very proud of yourselves…but don’t forget the job isn’t done. Enough back clapping – let’s focus on managing POWs, getting our west and east coast landings done so we can get to Torgos as quickly as possible, and extracting our special forces operators.’
Barnham and the team gave themselves and each other an applause, marking the moment also with a few hugs and handshakes. What could have become a quagmire was starting to look like a short war, and a victorious one, assuming the rebels who weren’t just there for the paycheque surrendered soon.

However, an underlying tension was simmering in the background between the two most powerful people in the room. It would not find itself expressed until they had left the others to discuss matters in another room.
Foreign Secretary (and crucially Barnham’s deputy in times of crisis) Eloise Chadwick chose to break the awkward silence. ‘Harry, I-‘
‘Don’t start. What on earth were you thinking?’
‘Something needed to be done. You were unavailable, out of the country. We didn’t have time to wait for you to react.’
‘I was on my official jet with a secure line as ever, not another fucking planet. This was not a continuity of government scenario, not even close, you acted completely beyond your brief. You’ve completely undermined me at the worst possible moment.’ He paused, then turned away and spitefully added, ‘I’m not stupid you know.’

‘Oh?’ Chadwick replied, irritation creeping into her voice as she did so. ‘And what is that supposed to mean exactly?’
‘You wanted to roleplay being in my chair for the day. One might even think you were trying it on for size.’
Chadwick tried not to rise to the bait but couldn’t resist. ‘You’ve got to be pulling my leg Harry. I don’t believe you’re this paranoid.’
‘Why shouldn’t I be? I remember the leadership contest, don’t you?’
‘Oh not this again-‘
‘You burned everything down Eloise! You and the hard left tossers you used to muck around with made it factional, and so did Richard from the right, and the amount of fucking effort it took me to pull everything together again – years and years of bullshit at every level of the party – almost sank my agenda. You said you’d make peace and back me if I could win us an election, which I did, so I gave you another chance. And yet here we are, in power, and I’m still having to deal with your ambitions to be centre stage above all else!’

‘Fuck off Harry. Really. That is completely unfair, and you know it. Tell me, was I centring my own interest when I let you go on this CRC-themed tour of the region? My signature area of policy and passion project, taken over by you under the auspices of “state visits”? I took one for the team there.’
‘These were head of government tier meetings Eloise, and you were needed here. And don’t talk to me about policy. You’ve got your policy! So now what? If you want my job too, just say it!’
‘Harry, I don’t know what else to tell you. You’re the most popular politician in the country – your approvals are easily better than mine. No-one is threatening your position and certainly not me. And I would never skew my decision making in life and death situations just to satisfy my own needs.’
‘Well, if you want to tell that to the families of those dead Commandos, be my guest.’
Unwisely, Chadwick lost her temper. ‘The plan worked! We got our target! Who gives a shit about a few dozen meatheads? We lost millions against the Samebans!’

The Prime Minister was unimpressed with this line of argument. ‘Aside from how morally bankrupt you sound, a bit of luck on the outcome doesn’t change the fact that what you did was reckless and stupid. Its not all over out there yet anyway – the mercs are surrendering but we don’t know about the rest.’
Barnham stopped talking for a moment and they both stewed in silence, unsure of where to go from here. Again, it would be down to the Foreign Secretary to break the deadlock.
‘I appreciate that you need to be able to trust me. If you don’t feel you can do that then maybe I should consider my position.’
‘Not a fucking chance of that happening,’ he shot back without hesitation, ‘not now. We’ve just possibly nipped a major civil war in the bud and our CRC agenda has had a great start. You going would derail the narrative. But make no mistake – from here on out, I expect complete and unwavering loyalty.’
An advisor knocked on the door. ‘Prime Minister, Foreign Secretary, are you done in there? You’re needed – there’s been new developments regarding the Pasargan monarchs. You’ll want to see this.’
‘Thank you. We’ll be there in a minute.’ As soon as the aide was gone, Barnham delivered a parting shot to Chadwick. ‘Like I said – I want your loyalty. Do not put me in this position again.’

[Nephara]

Mertagne 1 - 2 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Strand; 2 - Kama (17 - Meadows 77'), 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Scales, 3 - Lind; 4 - Southsea (19 - Rosziter 89'), 8 - March (15 - Sauber 77'); 13 - Brewer, 23 - Swainsona, 11 - Loeher (16 - Crowcombe 82'); 21 - Vetiver
Goals: Swainsona 49', Brewer 57'

Nephara 4 - 0 Saterun
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Strand; 2 - Kama, 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Scales, 3 - Lind (25 - Xu 74'); 4 - Southsea (19 - Rosziter 82'), 8 - March; 13 - Brewer, 23 - Swainsona (26 - Kvasina 74'), 11 - Loeher (16 - Crowcombe 74'); 21 - Vetiver (10 - Harper 63')
Goals: Loeher 22', March 30', Brewer 39', Harper 79'

In the end, the formation change alone couldn't get it done. It needed a long, stony-faced glare at half-time, and eleven terse words.
"You're telling me," she said, "you really aren't going to the World Cup?"
That did it. That did it. And there was value to the switch. In the first half, they were getting used to it; passing with a little hesitation, the press not quite aligned. And it was that which de la Fontaine took full advantage of, slipping deftly between the lines, a neat one-two with Everdell before hooking a cross over the top. Strand didn't come out strong enough; a moment's hesitation enough for Prost to nod it home, a rare man able to beat Clevinger in the air.
Cantor bit her lip. This was the first time she'd started to feel the pressure. People were repeating the name 'Amethyst Fegelein'. The best manager in the world... until she took the post at Nephara. Was it cursed?
Nephara didn't play well in the first half, but they didn't play badly, either. Things weren't too out of tune. But if they could get it right in the second half...
Yes. Yes, just like that.
Another move down the flanks, but done in the style of this Nepharan side. Less bombing wingback, more short, sharp forward passes. And playing, blessedly, out from the back. Clevinger took a cross on the chest and passed it off to Scales, to Lind, back to Scales as he bustled into the centre of the park, the flow of bodies pushing him forward, forward... he passed to Kama. And Kama produced the first proper long ball, a lethal diagonal over the top just as the majority of the Mertagne bodies had been gently shepherded left; now there was Loeher, free with acres of space and just two men to beat. One man. No men. The cross to Vetiver's feet was there to be made, but there were always men on Vetiver. There was nobody on Kurtis Swainsona, arriving late into the box, thumping his first-time strike past Fawn... !
1-1, but it felt like a go-ahead goal. That would come. No sweat.
Now it was Madita Brewer's time to run the show. A little more advanced, a little more central. Closer to the action, more available, and here- here! She shone. All the skill and raw talent of her cult hero father, Gary Corsie, combined with the cardio regimen of a proper modern footballer. That combination allowed her to get the advantage on Aziz, sprinting into clean air, dipping the shoulder and driving the ball high beyond Fawn - pick that out the back of the net.
By the time they met Saterun there was no stopping them. Rachi Loeher opened the scoring with a powerful drive too powerful for the goalkeeper at their near post, then Renate March - quietly imperious against Mertagne, as though she hadn't missed most of two years for the Cormorants - beat them from a set piece. Brewer drove in a third just before half-time and, maybe best of all, Bravura Harper off the bench was finally able to drive home just her second goal of a miserable qualification cycle.
Cantor remained aggressively bullish towards the press in the aftermath. It was becoming her brand. Which was to say, it made her less likely to be fired, not more, and thus was worth keeping.
"You're all smiles now, but aren't you concerned about missing the automatic places?"
"It's still in our hands," she said confidently.
"The group? No, it's--"
"If we win all of our remaining fixtures, we'll make the World Cup."
A pause. A question hovered in the air. "But Kelssek--"
"If we go to a playoff, does the winning side or the losing side qualify?"
A pause. Then laughter. They got it, now, meaning the joke was at the reporter's expense and all the 'IS SHE EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY !?' headlines could get scrubbed off.
Cantor leaned forward to administer the coup de grace. "You don't need to answer that," she said, not unkindly.
"Fucking idiot," she said unkindly, somewhat later, without a microphone in her face. "At what point do you just trust the system, huh? It worked. The evidence was on that pitch. I cracked it."
"Might've done better if we'd alighted on that from the start," chirped her assistant, Valery Cain.
Cantor kept from killing her, shook her head and walked on. She had many thrilling weeks of insomnia left before the playoffs.
Or maybe, just maybe, she'd find some peace of mind before then...

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 11
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 20 - Toxothea Sebring (Crisisbless)
Defenders: 2 - Ophelia Schrader (AFC Treason), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Reniira Clevinger (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - Tosca Meadows (Brinemouth), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Ettard Mitteager (AFC Treason), 25 - Tanith Xu (Myana, CMT)
Midfielders: 4 - Cassander Southsea (Brinemouth), 7 - Kestrel Anharbour (Crisisbless), 8 - Renate March (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 11 - Arachne Loeher (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 13 - Madita Brewer (Northern Union, BRE), 15 - Tasha Sauber (Spartangrad, EUR), 16 - Ana Crowcombe (Rülândéá Kôstä, FFD), 19 - Chandra Rosziter (Dynamo Sjoedrhavn, SVJ), 23 - Kurtis Swainsona (Revolutionaries, EUR), 24 - Dimitra Conder (Cuono Rangers, TMB), 26 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 9 - Vasya Reisinger (West Cuono United, TMB), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD), 21 - Felixe Vetiver (1830 Cathair, AUD)

BYE
Nephara 2 - 0 Tjorl @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
East Murbley 0 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 1 Koronavia @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Xitizian States 0 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 Reçueçn @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Kelssek 0 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 2 Mertagne @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Saterun 0 - 5 Nephara
Nephara 3 - 3 Pluvia SI @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Cassadaigua 1 - 2 Nephara
BYE
Tjorl 0 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 East Murbley @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Koronavia 0 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 6 - 1 Xitizian States @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Reçueçn 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 2 Kelssek @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Mertagne 1 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 0 Saterun @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Plusiva SI vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Cassadaigua @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

On the Cusp
Salwan Mynhier

The Black-and-Reds, winners of four of their past five matches, have very nearly finished off a recovery from a lackluster midsection of qualifying that at one point saw them draw seven out of an eleven-match stretch. Still holding a narrow one-point lead over Yuezhou heading into the final two matches of the tournament, they remain in position to make the playoff if they are able to hold onto that spot.

Coming back from their bye presumably refreshed and rested, the Black-and-Reds looked capably in control in seeing off Bongo Johnson away. Early goals from Zazagan and Fridtjofs set the tone and established a lead that the hosts would never be able to erase. The Bongonians eked out one goal during added time in the first half, taking advantage of a sloppy turnover by Bondarov to quickly counter and catch a large number of Squornshelan players behind the ball. Fridtjofs answered that tally with his eleventh of qualifying just a few minutes after the restart, taking a pass forward from Hashemi in stride and splitting between the center backs to go in alone on goal. Late on, it was the substitute Hjort notching her first goal of qualifying to put the final nail in the coffin.

Elsewhere in the group, Yuezhou were on a bye after putting an absolute beating on South Covello in the previous matchday. Ranoria won a crucial home tie against Boring Paradise to stay two points ahead of the Black-and-Reds, after potentially putting themselves in trouble with an ineffectual performance away to Pyazhnaya. It will all likely come down the final matchday, as all three of the teams in contention for Group 2's playoff spots have winnable matches on matchday 21, though Ranoria and Yuezhou face slightly more difficult tests, away to the Licentian Isles and Pyazhnaya respectively while our Black-and-Reds face North and South Vietnam at home in Han Dold. It will come down to Ranoria's final match against Kandorith, and our visit to Sargossa to be the final tests that determine who goes on and who goes home, as one tends to assume that Yuezhou will be able to handle Boring Paradise at home.

Bongo Johnson - 1
Squornshelan Remnant States - 4

Goals:
SRS: Fridtjofs 4', 48'; Zazagan 13', Hjort 88'

Lineup:
SRS: Shimski; Nyberg, W. Harkhan, Titov, Halfariani; Zazagan, Hashemi; Bondarov (Perkuna 89'), Damnagoras (Hedberg 75'), Yonte, Fridjofs (Hjort 82')

Schedule and Results

FRND: SRS 0-0 DRK @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem
FRND: SRS 1-2 CBP @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem

MD01: RAN 2-1 SRS @ Smith Field (cap. 19,050), Richardson, RAN
MD02: SRS 3-2 SCO @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD03: YZH 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD04: SRS 0-0 PYA @ Black Raven Field (cap. TBA), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD05: BRP 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD06: SRS 4-3 TLI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD07: KAN 0-1 SRS @ Empress Masumi Stadium (cap. 90,000), Tenkyo, KAN
MD08:     BYE
MD09: SRS 1-0 BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 46,950), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD10: NSV 3-5 SRS @ Tiên Sơn Stadium, Đà Nẵng, NSV
MD11: SRS 2-2 SRG @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle Megabrantis, SRS
MD12: SRS 0-0 RAN @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD13: SCO 3-3 SRS @ SuperNerd Wants To Fight Video Game And Computer Store Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD14: SRS 3-3 YZH @ Slavnareczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD15: PYA 1-5 SRS @ TBA
MD16: SRS 4-1 BRP @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD17: TLI 0-1 SRS @ LTI Stadium (cap. 75,000), Montfort, TLI
MD18: SRS 2-2 KAN @ Vogsphere Arena (cap. 90,000), Vogsphere, Isle of Squornshelous, SRS
MD19:     BYE
MD20: BGJ 1-4 SRS @ TBA
MD21: SRS  v  NSV @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD22: SRG  v  SRS @ Estadio Generalissimo Joaqín Delgado (cap. 108,879), Soluca, SRG

World Come Undone, Part 14
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Recap, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Suppose you were one of the Marine commanders in Algolia during the early days of the newly launched Spring Offensive.

What would you make of the quick progress and light resistance?

Certainly, your superiors would have instilled confidence in you. Confidence bordering on arrogance was the norm for the Imperium's elite after all. And how could a few ragtag bands of "revolutionaries" stand against the number of highly trained and well-equipped soldiers brought to bear here?

Still, things aren't going exactly as expected.

Once the mountain passes to the north had been secured, the main body of the 3rd and 7th divisions was to push quickly but methodically to the East, driving the rebels before them. Progress has been steady, with dozens of miles made every day on the gently undulating terrain of the Algolian coastal plain. There are still obstacles, of course. Rivers and hills slow down the advance, as do skirmishes with the rebels. There are not nearly so many of the latter as had been expected, however. None of the rebel groups encountered numbers as many as 100 soldiers, and most have less than 40. These small bands don't last long in the face of a determined advance by some 50,000 marines, and with such an overwhelming advantage in numbers and vehicles, the marines capture a hefty proportion of those they find. These are interrogated, but little additional intelligence is gained, as the rebels seem to know as little about the disposition of their allies as they did about the marine juggernaut that had swept them up. It is a similar story along the Danu River to the east, where the 4th division is making its way north to Jaglan and the hill country beyond. Their progress is easy, and the only rebel groups they encounter are poorly equipped and informed, and invariably small.

In Megabrantis, however, the 6th and 10th divisions are meeting much heavier resistance as they make their way upriver from Brantisvogan toward Chalesm, and Viltvodle beyond. Both banks of the Suvanto proved to be swarming with rebel forces. Though they are poorly coordinated and the state of their training, discipline, and equipment varies wildly, their knowledge of the terrain is unmatched, and their leaders have the experience of over two years of war behind them. Even with their numbers, which historians estimate as being anywhere between twelve and eighteen thousand, they can hardly expect to stand a fight against two entire marine divisions. Those foolhardy few that do are quickly killed or captured. What most opt for is a campaign of harassment. Marine patrols are ambushed, supply lines are raided, camps are attacked in the dead of night by rebels who retreat as quickly as they appear. It's time for the marines to get a taste of what the army's been fighting for over two years. Marine junior officers, however, are trained to a much higher standard than their army counterparts, and they quickly prove able to adapt to the demands of this particular battlefield. Skirmish lines quickly become reconnaissance-in-force patrols employing fast-moving halftrack vehicles mounting autocannons and mortars. Night camps guarded only by rifle pickets transform into miniature fortresses, with tanks and armored cars standing in as bunkers and pillboxes. Supply lines are patrolled by aircraft, and armored locomotives bristling with weaponry pull the trains bringing supplies up to the front. While there are some isolated successes, and the marine advance in Megabrantis is slowed significantly compared to the planned timetable, the rebels are definitely getting the worst of the fighting, and have no means to replace the men and materiel which they lose here.

Marine commanders are pleased with the results, as even allowing for the delays encountered in Megabrantis all columns are making good progress through territory. The casualties inflicted on the revolutionaries by the 6th and 10th divisions are consolation enough for them being behind schedule. There are, however, a small number of mostly junior commanders who are concerned with the situation in Algolia. The offensive’s objective, after all, is not to seize or hold territory, but to locate and destroy the enemy. That’s been proceeding well enough in Megabrantis, but the large concentrations of rebels reported to be in Algolia have yet to appear. Many generals, even Konchevsky himself seem to have lost sight of that fact, and seem unconcerned that Imperial intelligence seems to have misplaced a few tens of thousands of revolutionaries.

[New Gelderland]

Commonwealth of Baker Park looms as New Gelderland sits on the precipice of qualifying

We're not going to be the first to admit that New Gelderland was not favored to be in a playoff position at the beginning of this competition. Indeed, we were one of the most negative Nellies out there. We said that lightning would not strike twice, thinking that the Olympic gold medal was a fluke and predicting that new manager Nicoletta Arnaudo would not quite be up to snuff in a competitive and cutthroat qualifying group.

But our women have thankfully proved us wrong, making us the world's darling with one of the only all-female qualifying squads out there. (Okay, maybe darling is a strong word: Perhaps 'object of curiosity' is more apt.) Regardless of the most adequate descriptor, though, we have certainly captured the world's attention, at least in these last few days.

Indeed, papers from Baker Park to The Jovannic have noted our rise with awe, surprise and maybe even a bit of jealousy. As Poafmersia's Sporting Daily wondered, "Why is unranked New Gelderland doing better than Baker Park, who never failed to qualify for the World Cup proper? ... All these various questions, we ask Margaret, but we get nothing in return. Sadness. Sorrow. Frustration. Hoping someone will tell us the answer, but alas, Margaret never answers." (Numerous spelling errors in that quote have been corrected.)

Of course, we're wondering the same thing too, given that all our analytic brainpower has gone into enumerating the reasons that New Gelderland would not do well in qualifying. But now that we've turned to this relevant question, we have a theory: The world has simply focused too much on geopolitics to pay New Gelderland's football team any heed.

As temporary Delte player-reporter Oughry Queough noted in their pre-match report, the Delte away mission had feared a stray Cassadagan barrage when traveling to New Gelderland, for instance. "Things improved in the second half when Coach Cerrough showed the team a map of the region during the half time team talk and confirmed that Cassadaigua were too far away to launch a genodice [sic] operation in New Gelderland," Queough reported, "but the momentum had been lost and so was the game," one-nil in favor of New Gelderland.

Indeed, with so much going on around us, it's hard to solely think about sports. Euran politics always looms in New Gelderland; there's a succession crisis happening in our neighbours Cabo Azure; Mytanija is making its human trafficking into an international incident; and God knows what else. The Lexington Journal-Ledger made a good point in its editorial a few weeks ago: New Gelderland does best when it lingers in the shadows and thinks about sports, not geopolitics.

Let's take our own advice and turn to sports, then. After all, we've been beating around the bush for nearly 500 words, and we've hardly gotten to the main topic of this article: the looming New Gelderland match versus Baker Park that will determine its fate for this qualifying series. Matters will literally go down to the wire: New Gelderland and Baker Park sit tied, exactly, at third. So, as perhaps everybody and their brother knows, this match will be crucial for New Gelderland.

Here's where our cynical predictions come in. We now have a lot of media attention on our team because, after all, who doesn't love a dramatic finish? Some of that media attention is even from our rival itself: New Gelderland has featured in Baker Park's Overachiever Awards as the only unranked team to be in a playoff position.

But with all the media attention, we think that New Gelderland will find itself in a funk and unable to pull through in these next two crucial matches. (If New Gelderland draws against Baker Park at Olympic Park in Nassau Bay, it will need to pull off a victory against StrayaRoos — and by a larger margin than Baker Park against Darmen.) If it's true that New Gelderland has flourished by seeking to play football away from the spotlight, then the converse is probably true as well. And boy, is New Gelderland in the spotlight right now.

To be fair, we would love to see New Gelderland win against Baker Park and stick it to all the Banijan punters who bet on Baker Park to qualify. And if we were Cenian, it would be doubly sweet to eliminate Baker Park from contention after that victory all the way back in World Cup 80.

But luckily for Baker Park, New Gelderland is not Ceni, and we don't have that extra motivation to beat Baker Park that Ceni would. Baker Park is a lucky team; they've never failed to qualify for the World Cup. And no matter how many rubber chickens New Gelderland may sacrifice to Margaret, we feel like Baker Park will not abandon its lucky streak without a fight.

[Pemecutan]

MD 19
Legalese   3 – 2   Pemecutan

Goal scorers:
Komang Trisna Mahayana (42')
Agus Setiahadi (79')

Substitutes:
Yuhabani Nehusandak <—> Gede Arya Wisesa (53')
Pandu Oka Jaya <—> Arya Tungga Wijaya (69')
Oscar Tri Atmaja <—> Dwi Rangga Putra (71')
MD 20
Pemecutan   1 – 0   Kuraita

Goal scorers:
Komang Trisna Mahayana (53')

Substitutes:
Agus Setiahadi <—> Ngakan Putu Suweca (51')
Samsul Hermawan <—> Kadek Rai Partha (63')
Wisnu Pramana <—> Arya Tungga Wijaya (74')

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Wraspati Wage Wuku Watugunung, Pawukon 1783

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Sarasvati Day and Banyu Pinaruh
A Way to Celebrate New Year

Pemecutan Puri - Only two days and Pemecutan will say goodbye to the year of 1783 and welcoming the 1784 year. This passing year time is celebrated by the local in a very unique way. As we informed in previous article about the Fall of Watugunung, the event leads to the descend of Goddess Sarasvati at the last day of Pawukon year. Representing knowledge and virtue, this day is celebrated by making an offering towards the goddess. The ceremony is usually started in the morning. Schools, universities and other educational institutions are where the ceremony took place. For other people (read non school children), they usually placed the offerings on their bookshelf where they placed their books or reading material. Libraries are also held a similar ceremony.

Black and white painting of Goddess Sarasvati

Goddess Sarasvati is depicted as a beautiful women with 4 hands. Each of Her hand carry a special elements. Lontar, Genitri, Rebab and Lotus flower. On Her side, She is accompanied by a peacock and a swan. Each of these elements have its meaning. Lontar is a paper made of Lontar leaves, a species of palm tree that is use to write by ancient Pemecutanian. Here the knowledge is written and passed down from generation to generation. Genitri is a prayer beads made of dried Genitri fruit seed (Elaeocarpus ganitrus). This beads symbolized that knowledge is continuous. It never endings. Rebab is a string instrument similar to cello. This element symbolized that music accompanied knowledge. It can be use as a tools to passed down the knowledge with songs. Music also a tools of relaxation which can helped when someone is learning something. A relax mind can easily absorb new lessons. Lotus flower is a symbol of purity. A flower that comes out from a muddy soil is a also a symbol that everyone can achieve the better side of themselves no matter what's their background is. Peacocks symbolized beauty and attraction. Knowledge attracts someone to learn them. Peacocks also can be associated with grace and elegance. It is believe that someone with more knowledge can placed themselves in any situation. They won't brag about their knowledge and only show themselves when the time is right. Just like a peacocks who spread its tail when they are in danger or in mating. A swan is a symbol of just. The way a swan is eating where they can differentiate between food and mud is associated that with knowledge someone can differentiate between good and bad things. They can make a better decisions if they have knowledge for the issues that they faced.

Writings on a Lontar leaves

During the Sarasvati Day, people is usually barred from reading. This is called Brata Saraswati or Sarasvati Prohibition. This prohibition can be done for half a day or for a full day. The prohibition is aimed to empty your mind for a preparation to get new knowledge or learning something new. A full of minds and thoughts will make a person difficult to learn something new or to accept new ideas or new concepts. The simplest offerings for Sarasvati Day is consist of the main banten, sodaan putih kuning (an offerings made of fruits, snacks and s small cone-shaped of white and yellow rice) and canang. One special feature in the main banten is a snack in a shape of a house lizard. It is based on an old myth that if someone says the truth then the house lizard will speak and it will be silent if it is not true. This is associated with knowledge that is use to affirmed the truth. Interestingly, in Hanacaraka, Pemecutan writing system, the full stop (.) or pateges is commonly called cecek, Hanacaraka word for house lizard.

People are lining up waiting for their turn for Melukat ritual during Banyu Pinaruh Day

On the next day, the first day of the new year is known as Banyu Pinaruh. On this day, people especially Sanatana Dharma believers goes to holy springs or to the beach to cleanse their mind, body and soul. This is associated with beginning a new year with a pure self and erase all the negativities from the previous year. This ritual usually done the first in the morning. Beaches across Pemecutan will often flocked by people who taken a bath and doing the cleansing ritual. A simple canang can be use as an offerings for the ritual. If the ritual is done at the holy springs or at Griya, high priest house, they sometimes get nasi yasa after the ritual. Nasi yasa is a dish of yellow rice placed in a plate made of coconut leaf. It is completed with numerous condiments such as salad (usually long beans, cucumber and bean sprouts), boiled egg, fried shrimp or eel and roasted peanuts. This is symbolized the pica or blessings from the place where the ritual is held towards the people who did the rituals.

Although the Banyu Pinaruh Day has ended, the new year celebration is not end yet. There are 3 more days of celebration before it end in Wednesday. And for the details of the celebration of these 3 days, we will cover it in the third part of Pemecutan New Year Celebration theme.

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MD 21
Kimi-Suomi v Pemecutan
MD 22
Pemecutan v Hapilopper
@ Tegeh Kori National Stadium, Tegeh Kori, Pemecutan Puri
Starters: 
Benches:

1  GK Herman Putrawan 
Aksabala Jandisuga GK 12

2  LB Yuhabani Nehusandak 
Gede Arya Wisesa LB 24

3  CB Sorabala Aksapadan 
Surya Brata Wijaya CB 13

4  CB Satya Putra Laksamana (C) 
Dwi Rangga Putra RB 36

26 RB Oscar Tri Atmaja 
Ngakan Putu Suweca CM 29

6  LM Agus Kusumawijaya 
Kadek Rai Partha RM 30

19 CM Agus Setiahadi 
Arya Tungga Wijaya AT 22

8  RM Samsul Hermawan 
Reserve benches:

20 ST Wisnu Pramana 
Gery Afilianto GK 33

32 ST Pandu Oka Jaya 
Putra Eka Laksana CB 18

11 AT Komang Trisna Mahayana 
Basuyuha Padurjana LM 15

Eka Yuliawan CM 39

Bayu Narmada AT 42
Injuries:
RB Alvino Bastian

[Savigliane]

QuattroQuattroDue: For Real Savigliano Football Fans
NATALIA ROSSI BETS BIG ON SAVIGLIANO TALENT
Can Algolia Show What Kirkenes Couldn't?
by NATHANIEL DuBOIS

DAMOGRAN, SQUORNSHELAN REMNANT STATES -- When Natalia Rossi arrived at Albrechtsson Park to become the SuperLeague's first Savigliano manager, it was the first time that she had ever visited the Squornshelan Remnant States, much less Algolia's 65,000-seat behemoth of a stadium. But still, Natalia Rossi has been in this position before. There are some significant differences between the footballing projects at Algolia and pre-KFL Season 66 Kirkenes, of course. But if you squint, you'd see two historic titans of their leagues, both mired in slumps and looking to rebuild in Rossi's attractive, attacking mold. Still, although she did take a Coupe de Patriotes and a Vilitan Cove Invitational home with her, not even Rossi would call Kirkenes' Tlanxball experiment a big success. Now, in her second chance, she's betting big on importing Savigliano players - in addition to a Savigliano style - in the hopes that this rebuild will go better.

Now fifty years of age and in her third major post, it's easy to view Rossi as a grizzled ideologue. But before the five-plus seasons in charge of Kirkenes, she was Tlanx-Nulzk Hal's bright-eyed understudy on the Savigliano NT after a brief stint coaching second-tier team Komunemos Calcio. It's at this point that she was influenced by the Qusmi legend's rapid, free-flowing style, which she rapidly integrated into her own footballing worldview. Rossi's role was initially people-facing, with Tlanx-Nulzk using Rossi to maintain dressing-room cohesion while their Italian and French got up to speed. However, over her three cycles with the national team, which saw the Swans rise from a little-known footballing backwater of Atlantian Oceania to two-time qualifiers, she rapidly gained favor with Tlanx-Nulzk, who came to see her as more of a tactical equal than just a protege.

Impressed with her work with the national team, Kirkenes came calling in the middle of the WC89 cycle. The most popular team in Kelssek's bigger city, and well-off financially, Kirkenes had nevertheless languished in the upper-midtable while rivals like Burnaby passed them by, and were hoping to refresh an aging squad to fit a new play style. Behind the scenes, Rossi reportedly stressed the need for significant investment and patience, but the neophyte manager promised both results and an attractive style if she was given the time. To Kirkenes' credit, although it was Rossi's first managerial role, they backed her in the market (although not all of her targets were willing to come, with Kelssek's reputation not as sterling as it is today) and preached patience over the fans' overreactions.

Still, despite five seasons of consistent backing and patience, and definite stylistic improvements, Rossi could never quite get over the hump, to the consternation of the long-suffering fanbase. An eighth-place finish in her first season won her little support from the fanbase, but a faux-double of the Cup and Vilitian Cove Invitational in her second was enough for the board to continue to consistently back her. Still, despite consistently finishing in the CL spots, and despite the clear stylistic improvements that she brought with her, they never seriously challenged for the title in her five years there despite significant financial backing. The key, despite a relatively successful transition to a dynamic, vertical 4-3-3 like that the Swans played, was consistency. While Rossi's squads had their bright spots, they never seemed to be able to build upon their success, and eventually even the patient board was at their wit's end. Rossi's tenure could've ended far earlier than it did - a Coupe de Patriotes semifinal loss to third-division West Haligonia Spartan in her fourth season was nearly the last straw - but by the time she left, the consensus within the fanbase was that she'd been given more than enough time to build a contender, and simply hadn't. Her replacement, Nepharan Daniel Archer, favors a more hardworking and disciplined approach, meaning that Kirkenes will likely need to significantly rework their setup again in the hopes of delivering a long-awaited title to Exhibition Place.

While Kirkenes move on, though, Rossi now must navigate a second rebuilding project with Algolia. Perhaps more promisingly, while Kirkenes forced Rossi to make incremental changes to a solid roster, Algolia has burnt themselves to the ground in a failed bid to win a SuperLeague title (finishing only fourth place last season), and will need significant rebuilding - something that could give Rossi a better proving ground to test her ideas at the club level. With over half of their starting lineup aged 32 and up, and completely lacking the homegrown talent that the SuperLeague now requires, Algolia's fans are much more likely to accept a period of sustained mediocrity while Rossi rebuilds her system from the ground up.

She's notably enlisted the help of several Saviglianos in doing so as well. While veteran center-back Gianmarco Dutto, who fills a Giraudoesque role on the team, had already transferred from FK Metropola Borograd before Rossi's arrival, the new manager notably also brought winger Zoë Barthelemy, a former NT mainstay, with her. The 32-year-old winger might not have been the most natural fit with Algolia's timeline, but Rossi reportedly hoped that Barthelemy's presence would stabilize a young, transitional roster while providing valuable leadership and mentorship from someone more familiar with Tlanxball's workings. Aside from betting on Savigliano talent, Rossi also has the luxury of teaching the tenets of her system to a less established roster, with the goal of fixing the team's roster crunch and bringing up a homegrown generation of better tactical fits within a few seasons. Whether or not this will work is still an open question. But Rossi, fresh off of a uniquely strong opportunity to implement her systems to a patient board, has somehow found another, stronger opportunity - failure here might raise questions that her and her fellow Tlanxball supporters might be loathe to answer.

[Guanacasteca]

Estelí, Northern Province – 11/11/2002

Rubbish and debris were noticeable from the outskirts of Estelí, the second most important city of the República Guanacasteca, since David Alpízar made Tibás the national capital a couple of days ago, people were somewhat worried as they weren’t processing what happened, except for those near the military complex… The environment happened to be a somber one for those ones near the place, although, as things cleared up, joy took possession of their minds and bodies, as it was clear that the fighter jet that crossed the skies at almost Mach 1 destroyed the place.

People were cheering in the streets, and the celebration commenced in Estelí as the gossips made a reality for many who were curious about what happened at the premises, the infierno was now pulverised, destroyed by a group of missiles perfectly synchronised in a deadly orchestra of firepower and blood sprinkling all over the place. Many military officials were, of course, dead right now of the impact, some of those suicided at the warning of a missile, and some others were coward enough to hide under anything they could to survive, some of them did it and others didn’t.

Life isn’t fair, we all know it, many beloved ones die after the injustice caused by those officers, and some of those managed to survive, including the infamous Arellano and his colleagues, although badly wounded. Arellano took a radio, as he tried to stand up, but his legs were destroyed, so he fainted and screamed in agony for help. “The bastard… The idiot has destroyed the Complex with missiles, we don’t know where he is right now… AHHHH!” he said while lamenting the pain and crying, “this is the ultimate manhunt, we want him alive, the future of the military is at stake, bring him here.”

Arellano is known for being a brutal and ruthless person when it comes to torturing methods, he was a sadistic person that would do everything to kill somebody in the most painful, slow, and inhumane way possible because he enjoyed it. Numerous accounts and testimonies from people who witnessed some of those tortures are present as urban legends, Arellano is nothing close to a human; from people eaten by dogs, torture by water droplets, and frequent waterboarding in mercury is what he has done to people.

Arellano received help from some of the officers who ended without injuries, he was carried to an improvised hospital near the entrance, many guards and soldiers weren’t carry weapons as all were destroyed during the explosion due to a big failure of procedures that the Guanacastecan Army has had through the time. During sleep time, soldiers deposit their weapons in centralised spots as a safety measure, except for the officials, so the weapons from almost everybody were destroyed, except for the personal guns of the officers who were carrying those.

Arellano was visited by a doctor, he said something that put Arellano to cry, showing that even the cruellest of humans have a sentimental side with them. “Commander, I regret to inform you that we will need to amputate both of your legs.” Arellano’s world collapsed immediately, his mind went in blank and then he said, “I can’t lose this war, Doctor, save my legs, save them as I need to defeat Alpízar. The Motherland will reward you.” The Doctor showed the radiography pictures of both legs, then Arellano realised that it was inevitable, he can’t walk anymore. He cried as he never has done before, wildly revolving in the bed and trying to stand up, which he failed to do and his last bones in the legs crumbled due to that effort.

Arellano was destroyed, the army also was destroyed, he couldn’t be supported as he threatened everybody except the doctor. Arellano said “Now, doctor, I’m useless. Please, kill me now!” The doctor rejected, as he said, “I’m loyal to you, I can’t do that.” Arellano replied, “Show me your loyalty by killing me, now I’m useless for the fight.” The doctor said, “You can be a great strategist, you have showed to be capable enough for doing that, it’s the time to show the Motherland how capable are you with this, don’t leave her alone!” Arellano nodded, as he was being sedated for the process.

In the Northern Province, the manhunt was about to begin but there was a significant problem, the pilot managed to defect the República Guanacasteca to an unknown destination, so he couldn’t be found anymore. The plane was still there, as they tried to reach it in the middle of an impenetrable piece of jungle 560 kms northeast of Estelí. People collaborated in the search effort, as they were threatened to do so. It took a whole week expedition with 100 people to search the plane, which was lately found near an abandoned estate.

Dogs were considered for the searching process by smelling the jet’s cockpit, they couldn’t pick up anything as bananas were found in the place to disguise the smell of the pilot, dogs were pointing up to plantations and not for a potential route that could lead to arrest the fugitive pilot. Arellano was notified of it, but he was still in sedation for the amputation process. It took several hours until, during the last procedure, the doctor made a significant mistake, he didn’t finish the process well with suture, he left a place untouched that could lead to potential infections and death for the commander.

Arellano was waking up, still too fragile and without will to continue. He received a notification about the effort of the pilot the week after the amputation, to what he regretted and said, “Seems that the Republic is now dead, as the army is now dead.” He took a weapon, then committed suicide. The officers arrived at the hospital and watched the scene, then Carlos Romero, one of the most prominent ones said, “Your death will be honoured with the blood of your enemies, commander, be sure of that.”

[Darmen]

CENTRAL POLICE ✓

@CENPOLDAR

Central Police are aware of and are currently responding to football protestors blocking National Highway 9 north of Brham. Motorists are asked to avoid the area and use alternate routes. We have advised the @DFA to delay kickoff against Damukuni by 30 minutes.

DBC SPORTS ✓

@DBCSPORT

Protestors calling for Salvador Duchamp to be sacked are currently causing a major traffic jam on highway leading into Brham before #WCQualifiers against Damukuni.

DARMENI FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION ✓

@DFA

The DFA is dismayed at the dangerous behavior exhibited by those protesting Mr. Duchamp. Any decision regarding Mr. Duchamp's employment will not be taken until after the #WCQualifiers are over and will not be influenced by the protests.

DARMENI FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION ✓

@DFA

Furthermore, the DFA condemns those who use Mr. Duchamp's heritage to question his loyalty to our national team and to our country. Racism and xenophobia have no place in our sport.

[Valentine Z]

Part 7 – Expecting the Unexpected, and How Clarissa Alanis Star Samantha Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Randomness.

Exuberant Superintendent T-2000/2904-3 Surveillant Clarissa Alanis Star Breya « La Amoureux Chéri » Millie Taissa Butterfly Mélody Coraline Jolijn Trini Clementine Hollie Samantha Zeta Harumi sat down together with her team for yet another debrief, right after the match with the Turori Eels. Shuffling through sheets of data, along with the final scores, she was surprised, to say the least. It was not in her programming to underestimate someone, but in a rather interesting twist, the Valentian Kittens saw themselves losing out to the StrayaRoos Barrier Islands with a 4–3, and winning against the Turori Eels with a 3–2. One could say that there was a fair bit of home advantage that is being involved, but knowing the history, the performance, and the overall tenacity of the Eels, it was shocking that they were able to form a resistance against the current of goals that were flowing in, being able to out-shoot one more goal against them and taking home the win. Clarissa was still very pleased with the results, though at this point, part of her makes her wonder if they were going to make it into the playoffs, or will be confined once again to Cup of Harmony. She doesn’t have any issues with Cup of Harmony, and in fact was happy to make it pretty far in one season. “Still, would be nice if we are to make it into the semifinals and the like in World Cup. Hey, maybe even a win as champions!” she thought to herself instead of speaking it out, not wanting to put overly high expectations on her team. They tried their best, and that is all that matters for her. “All right, let’s begin!” she spoke finally after looking through the scores and writing all of them neatly into her databases, “You guys are doing great so far, that is always good news! The recent spate of draws have been rather interesting, but hey, rather that than a loss, am I right? So far so good! Also, I was a bit wrong with my press conference on the other day, that was my fault! I thought we would be playing against Eels and the Cenians, but I forgot about the StrayaRoos beforehand. That was my bad! It would be tomorrow that we will be against Cenians, and the day after – our final match of the qualifications, against the Gyatso-Kai Bisons. Please don’t be too pressured, and just try your best out there! You all can do it!”

“Now, then, before I continue on, I would like to just ask the typical standard questions. Anyone with minor or major injuries at the moment?” to which none of the Valentian Kittens raised their hands; there have thankfully been no injuries on or off the field as of recently, and that was more than welcome. “Anyone who would like to fall out, or give the other players a chance?” to which there were a slew of murmurs and discussions, but typically not one that is going to escalate into a fistfight; such is the nature of the Valentians. “Are you guys okay with a little bit of reshuffling?” Clarissa asked once again, and the answers have been more or less indifferent. The Kittens didn’t care as much about who goes into the field, for they have no beef within the team. They, however, unanimously agree that players like Holly Annemiek Gerrieke Van De Hoogte should remain in the match, for her being able to score more goals compared to her peers. Holly blushed out a little bit with surprise, touched by the support that her team is giving her. “Well, I mean, if you guys insist, then I won’t mind!” Clarissa did rearrangements, SELECT statements, and UPDATE statements on her database, putting Eveline Valeria Annalise Tiêu Xuân Ngọc as the goalkeeper, and Holly Annemiek Gerrieke Van De Hoogte as one of the forwards. Other players such as Joaquina Samanta Alonso Clara Lombardo are also making a return, a combination of mixing players so that they have a bit more time on the field. Unfortunately, Clarissa didn’t have a detailed record of who is in how many matches, but she could procure one…

Roster for upcoming MD21 and MD22: Formation 3-3-4 / 3 forward, 3 midfielders, 4 defenders, 1 goalkeeper.)

Red = Injured and out, Green = Able to be substituted if you do injure my players; green players in order of preference of substitution.

Goalkeeper:
#  4 - Eveline Valeria Annalise Tiêu Xuân Ngọc    - 242.86 cm - F - 33 - Nam Từ Liêm, Hanoi, Vietnam
# 64 - Martina Anastasia Hedvig X. Luna Bukvić    - 239.25 cm - F - 34 - Martian Territories of Valentine Z
#  1 - Dawson Joshiah Davidson Brooks Marshall    - 239.90 cm - M - 33 - Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, Alanis Star, Valentine Z
#  2 - Jakov Emile Janessa Mirko Varteks Modrić   - 245.72 cm - M - 38 - Varaždin, Croatia
#  8 - Josief A. Yandi Eko Yohanes Dharmawijaya   - 244.12 cm - M - 35 - Gelora, Tanah Abang, Central Jakarta, Indonesia

Forward:
#  3 - Holly Annemiek Gerrieke Van De Hoogte      - 240.80 cm - F - 37 - Zaanstad, Netherlands, Victoriaans Nederlands, Valentine Z
# 10 - Joaquina Samanta Alonso Clara Lombardo     - 237.10 cm - F - 31 - Lanús, Buenos Aires, Argentina, Alanis Star, Valentine Z
# 11 - Kortnev Grigoriy (Grisha) Konstantinovich  - 241.08 cm - M - 38 - Saint Petersburg, Russia, Valentine Z
#  6 - Štěpánka Caitlin Madeline W. Sedláčková    - 241.74 cm - F - 32 - Brno, South Moravian, Czech Republic, Valentine Z
#  7 - Emerson Jamie Taylor Erin Scott Maddox     - 238.07 cm - M - 34 - Mankato, Minnesota, United States of America, Voorzichtigheid, Valentine Z
#  5 - Elisabetta Enzo Hannah Lodovica D'Elia     - 237.71 cm - F - 29 - Florence, Tuscany, Italy, Valentine Z

Midfielders:
# 20 - Sammie Arif Raihan Bin Mohamamad Andika    - 238.66 cm - M - 36 - Singapore, Singapore, Valentine Z
# 30 - Antel Marcel Georgia Katona Vass Dániel    - 241.06 cm - M - 26 - Székesfehérvár, Central Transdanubia, Hungary, Valentine Z
# 88 - Clemente Kenneth Evans L. Jiang Guanyu     - 240.10 cm - M - 31 - Taiyuan, Shanxi, China, Vostrov, Valentine Z
# 14 - Katarzyna Violetta Zofia Aleks Polańska    - 244.25 cm - F - 35 - Chorzów, Poland, Valentine Z
# 31 - Daina Allison Leela Phon Seng Sreynuon     - 234.75 cm - F - 30 - Sihanoukville, Cambodia, Valentine Z

Defenders:
# 40 - Iraj Alexander Soroosh Homayoun Hashempour - 237.50 cm - M - 33 - Ahvaz, Khuzestan, Iran, Valentine Z
# 50 - Helen Jennifier Hiroto Morishita Chiyumi   - 242.25 cm - F - 29 - Osaka, Kansai, Honshu, Japan, Vostrov, Valentine Z
# 55 - Nathaniel Orla Hayden Johnstone McMahon    - 241.00 cm - M - 37 - East Kilbride, South Lanarkshire, Scotland, United Kingdom, Victoriaans Nederlands, Valentine Z
# 65 - Sigfreður Gamalíel Onyx Jason Steinason    - 240.55 cm - M - 42 - Martian Territories of Valentine Z
# 60 - Marlene Isabelle Lisa Roselyne Pasquier    - 235.11 cm - F - 32 - Saint-Denis, Paris, France, Victoriaans Nederlands, Valentine Z
# 70 - Vanuza Poliane Elaine Castro dos Reis      - 237.66 cm - F - 30 - Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil, Alanis Star, Valentine Z

[Ceni]

Campus News | Local News | Editorial | Sports | Arts & Culture | Blog | Magazine

An all-covering garment: Inside the UCeni student boilersuit tradition

I remember when I first got my Daily Longtail coveralls. After the Managing Editors and the Editorial Board threw us into Lake Cenial, we all clambered out, dried off, and donned our new Tyrian purple coveralls with a giant longtail on the back.

As the Editorial Board says, purple was the colour of the wealthy back in ancient times. Why shouldn't it be the colour for the best student organization on campus?

The other organizations have their own colours, of course. Model World Assembly wears a dark evergreen, the CRC Association wear the pastel blue in the Rushmori flag and the football team wears a checkered black and white to mimic a football. Beyond the extracurricular differentiation, everybody can put their own patches on their coveralls, based on events they attended, extracurricular distinctions or just pure whimsy and serendipity.

These overalls are extremely popular on campus. Mostly, people wear them to go to parties or extracurricular events, but sometimes people just wear them to go to class when they can't think of anything else to wear. On rainy days, the coveralls brighten up the day with their rainbow of colours, often paired with black wellington boots and UCeni hoodies.

Given that international students constitute a large portion of the student body here, the coveralls are even status symbols in other parts of the world. In Cabo Azure, for instance, I've heard that Azurean students who go back to work in the country will parade around in their coveralls as a status symbol!

But overall (pardon my pun), the boilersuits help to foster unity among the various organizations and groups here on what can be a very large and intimidating campus. After all, if you see someone wearing the same colour boilersuit as you, you have something immediately in common that you can connect with.

Their popularity, then, begs the question: How did we get here? What are the origins of this famous tradition?

According to history professor Ter Odillem, the tradition started when the football spirit society had to support a match outdoors in winter and trooped to a thrift store to find something warm they could wear as a group. As luck would have it, the store had enough boilersuits to outfit the entire group, and a tradition was born.

UCeni isn't the only university in Ceni to have student boilersuits, and the other major universities in the country (especially UCenial and UNO) have them as well. Indeed, the Boilersuit Boys were the student section responsible for bringing UCenial the NSCAA basketball title all those years ago, in an upset that still rankles Drawkian fans.

Beyond their uses on campus, there's one other tradition that bears repeating: students are supposed to attend at least one tennis match and one national football match in their coveralls, where we're supposed to be treated to ridicule. (Does that happen? Not often, because Cenian fans know about the tradition. But a lot of times, it's good natured banter towards students.)

As it turns out, a lot of students have taken the recent WCQ matches to sport their coveralls — especially at the recent match against Savigliane on University Green. As for me, I had a lot of work due then, so I'll be attending the upcoming qualifier match against Valentine Z.

Let's hope I don't get too much rubber chicken blood on my coveralls!

— Joss Avanar can be reached at javanar@thedailylongtail.cen.

[Bears Armed]

'Bears like Football,
Margaret not like Bears? _
No World Cup for urrs.'

Karra Brent looked at what she'd written, an attempt at using a foreign form of poetry that she'd been told by the person who'd introduced her to it -- that far-famed and far-travelled reporter Florise Fane, her cousin Bark Brent's wife -- was called 'High-Qu', and frowned slightly. She thought that she had managed its minimalist method of conveying information reasonably well, and re-counting the syllables (treating the word "Bears" as two syllables long for this purpose, which seemed more appropriate than considering it just a single syllable), she had managed to fit her message into the correct 5-7-5 pattern... Still, though, wasn't there something she'd missed?
Aha! There was supposed to be a reference to nature or the seasons included, that, was it.

Hr'rmm... If anybearry else who knew the form challenged her on this point, might she maybeso get away with saying that the implied "seasons" of qualifying matches counted? Maybeso ayyuh, but maybeso not.

She took a swig from the mug of hot ginseng tonic that had been prescribed because she'd been feeling -- verrry unusually for her -- rather "under the weather" since shortly after the Belles' match against StrayaRoos Barier Islands. She had had to sit out their following two games, against Turori and then Ceni, both of which the Belles unfortunately had lost. Not that she was vain enough to assert that her presence on the field definitely would have improved their scores and maybeso even been enough to give them any points from either or both of those matches, but her team-mates were used to finding her out there (as Hannorra Scarlett had said on hearing that she'd be unable to play, "but Karra never gets sick...") and so -- despite good players having been available as replacements -- her absence had left a gap that maybeso didn't help.
She frowned again. That sort of thought did no good. What she needed to do was concentrate on getting well enough to be fit for play, again -- at least with a place on the bench, as a substitute to be brought on if needed later in the game, if not as yet back as a starter -- before the match against 'Zeta Reka and Hugeltadom'. Maybeso even for the match against 'Gyatso-Kai', she wondered? No, probably Urrsara (OOC: team manager Urrsara NorthGate) would be unwilling to take that risk, and honestly Karra had to admit that such caution was probably the wisest policy in this situation.
She took another swig of the tonic, and wished that she found its taste more pleasant.
Anyhows...
She tured to the next page in her notebook, picked her pen back up, and made another attempt at summing up the Belles' overall performance so far during this cycle.. but this time she used an older style of poetry, one whose origin among the Bears was actually lost in antiquity and that they called the 'Frommer'.

'There once were some girls from Bears Armed,
Whose style at football really charmed;
But this time on the feld,
Too much they did yield,
So their manager felt quite alarmed.'

[Delte]

---

Rana Taughtpurse 14-0 Betty Ormray
Special Election Correspondent Polka Lunn at Rake Teinton Women's Institute for the Shingarter Herald

---

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of the election for this year's Old Wives Gala Queen, but certainly mention should be made of it in the light of this month's Election World Cup - by order of The Editor, who insists election coverage is a key component of winning a place in Vilita and Electrum in November. Since there were no parish elections to report on I had to choose from what I could find and it was either this or the vacant Fiddler School Student Union Treasurer's vote in Deltemouth, but I thought the Gala run-off had the potential for more cake. Indeed I was correct and whilst Betty's peanut butter jelly cheesecake was exquisite, it was no match for the apparently controversial orange coffee turnover from Rana. She went for the populist approach with her stodgy serving and the quality was certainly reflected in the voting.

At the same time, or maybe a few minutes before...

---

The Jovannic 3–0 Delte
Highways labourer & Temporary Player-Reporter Rillr Sawdare in Jovannica for Radio Luxinterior

---

I've been briefed not to dwell overly long on the finer details of our match here back in the Atlantean Oceania region (quite an austere corner of the world, if corner is the right word) but suffice it to say the Away Team Mission is in a lot of trouble for completely messing up the astonishing prospect of qualifying for the World Cup and there will be some awkward questions when we get home. I can reassure the Home Team in advance that whilst it was a terrible performance here, it certainly wasn't thrown intentionally so we could come home early and avoid an extra fixture in the play-offs. Also we promise to try harder in Sarzonia for what might be the be-all and end-all of the competition for us. No pressure then.

I hear the home team had a bye day and Mrs. Taughtpurse went for the lowest common denominator in the bake-off. Disappointing.

---

The Quick & The Delts
6/6 : Boot Camp At Tunn’s Farm

---

17 August 2022: A compromise was reached. Old Rhoddi Tunn was the last in a long line of turnip and sheep farmers of the four hundred-acre farm to the north of Oswark on the Ildemorton road, and he was also the most miserable in a long line of miserable Tunns - which was probably why he was also the last of the line. Early one morning in late July, extracting a sheep tick from behind his knee, he decided that he’d really had enough of all this and would sell up his farm and go to live by the beach in the Tropics of Vilita, or some other resort of last resort. On the proceeds of the farm he’d buy a young wife, a duplex with a pool, and a juicer. He’d dig no more turnips, and say goodbye to sheep ticks forever. He’d drink with a straw out of a cocaobao nut under the shade of a straw panama hat.

A deal was struck by the Deltic FA with the old neep & sheep farmer for his land. The All-Week Super Ultra Premier Football Association would build a training and recovery base there for its national team, The Representatives, with a cunning plan to mitigate for the jerry syndrome. Each cycle, the FA agreed with the government, the selectors would pick two teams, one for home matches and one for away matches. The away team would be forbidden from playing away from home in more than one competition to prevent excessive ageing, but could play unlimited home matches after they had served a tour of duty out in the far far away. A new batch of players would be drafted in to the boot camp at Tunn’s Farm each cycle to form the ‘away team’. With the somewhat unfortunate consequences of spending such time out in the world, they would wear the symbolic red shirts of all unfortunate away teams from the Delt’s favourite sci-fi dramas.

“But at that rate,” said Coach Clentin, a very pragmatic sort of stoic, “we’ll have run out of useful footballers for away teams by about the end of 2023. What’ll we do for the World Cups after that?”

There was a snigger from the back of the room. It was a farm hand who had recently come to work for Rhoddi at Tunn’s Farm, a foreign type who didn’t say much. I probably should’ve mentioned him before but he had that about him - you know? - that when he was out of sight, he was very much out of mind. Some thought he’d arrived with the Rushmori boat people from the Dagan’s Cooper River genocide. Some thought he was from Bonesea, or Tequilo, or Wight or somewhere - wherever that was. He wasn’t. His name was Danny Byrne and he had been an Audioslav in a very different era. I mention him now because there he was, all of a sudden and uninvited, an itinerant farm hand from Rhoddi Tunn’s place, in a meeting about the future strategy of Deltic football. For some reason.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he said, “I’ve seen an apocalypse or two in my time. There won’t be a Delte by then. No chance. I give them eight months, max.”

It was a bleak assessment for a farm hand. But then, Danny Byrne was bleak. He was a regular at the Discordteque in town (when he wasn’t farm-handing), and everything coming out of there was bleak. It was something they put in the cocktails, I think.

---

The Quick & The Delts returns for a second season in World Cup ’93, which is either four years away, your time, or the new year in my time. Can Doc Orem find a cure for the jerry syndrome? Who will win the domestic election in the World Cup of Domestic Elections? Is Danny Byrne right - will the Delts even be back at all for a Season Two? Stayed tuned to NSWC Signups to find out.

[Geektopia]

SportsSurveillanceCams.geecom Pickup of the Month Ended March 8205: After the Banija and Eura defeats, Julio wonders why Dameţrice and Ratter threw off their shoes in protest of some abhorrent but surely not actionable refereeing decisions. This is when crap really starts to hit the fan, though moral and attitude haven't taken a dive yet.

---

Julio: Boys, you have to remind me from time to time that a soft coach is a coach which goes nowhere in the development of talents, because your mental health may well and should be as important as your physical health. This is also something Hojnacki didn't take into consideration before he was fired by.. uh.. his own sports scientist, not the board. I just found this out, so does it surprise anyone else like it does me?

Ogrodowski: D'uhhhh.. I think our heads have gone ever since after he was appointed, so in this respect we all kind of need your help to be in as good the shape we were in before his pestilence had arrived and plagued our minds. I don't remember us excelling in every one on one duel in the late stages of Dingledine, but we were still damn fine football players. Now it's like.. so depressing. Depressing in and of itself would be the fact that, from what I have heard from you, these shoes are our everything, our life, we have to take care of these and so hide them from every facial orifice to have no one know of your cheating and our giving over to it. For in how this would be bad seeing the modern game as it's played now, I truly do not know. You have folks using inhalers to enhance performance, or rawing protein powders of all shapes and sizes, so I would question this really being bad at all. Is it?

Hugee Adsginsier: I cannot believe we are wasting our time with these questions that in part look at things that don't matter anymore or are obsolete, much more considering that of them which may come from a racist. For example, you were for these considerations of malice which pissed me off but that Aadish dealt with coolly and stated that no one should like the new batch of Aimenan-Geektopians rising through the ranks of football. Moreover, everyone cheats without considering their dignity these days, and so the question which is so stupid does not require an answer or for Julio to stand on ceremony but actually stand on a pile of cow dung, that of which is your question. Finally, none of our heads should have gone from something so little as a managerial entrance and exit. Sure, 'nacki may have made our, I don't think I can speak for myself here, mental health degrade ever so slightly, but it shouldn't be an excuse, for the jewels that come in between him have gotten the country to two major round of sixteen appearances in two very important competitions. After all, two minus one equals one, and so as is thus, we should retain all of the footballing intelligence we have had before and as the legends of Loui and Osorto have had in the Cup of Harmony, so in that, I do agree with your being sad about us depending on footwear, especially footwear made by those piddly pirates, because it's all a bit weird when Julio's the one acting like he's patriotic yet puts his values aside to have us wear foreign gear!

Ogrodowski: It's your fault that you are this way in which I hate, I would suggest to you to change something inside or outside, being your personality or hobbies, or both, so I don't have to constantly remind myself I am hanging out with someone whose ancestors massacred my people at the demolished castle in Mordecai, a former federal building. It would do well to overshadow this, so your being cool I would consider more therein, and trust me, I'm open to people who have some sort of personality, that of whose first impressions are of the sheer eccentricity of the other person so that not only do they easily tolerate them, but when they see even a person of similar physical likeness which does nothing short than fade at a mere glimpse, they beg to hold hands with any person that they see. So until then, I agree somewhat with what you're saying, but do make it hasty, I am getting more cheesed off by the minute in which you talk! Plus, you were contradicting yourself at the end there.

Abdill: Ah, it's like reeling in a fish at the prospect of great benefit, seeing you two fight and then wager your differences knowing there will be a moment where the both of you will consider your pride less of a priority than true friendship, and I know it will come when either you are not to be considered boring by most or something else inexplicably happens that will it come this way, Hugee! What is it that you are known for doing, hm?

Hugee Adsginsier: It just so happens that you are the least known person from Generation 87, last behind even Rebimbas in the index that has people scratch their heads saying, "Who? And how should I know?". Anyways, what have you gathered us here for, Julio?

Julio: Hey, anyways. For most of that, I was not here in spirit, so I'd like to say hi again and state that you know it hurts me most when you argue with each other like that, so this makes it even less likely for me to chew you out for legitimate reasons like I'm doing here today. Ratter and Dameţrice, I did not want to look at this footage of our highlights in the games against Eura and Banija any longer, though I had to in the first place, of course. What made you do this, and believe me, I am going to be pointing out the enormity in which you did these unjust things. It could have impacted our campaign to where we wouldn't be aiming for the play-off places with our shoes, but rather, a position above Sudilia! Ratter, first of all, why are you here today for this meeting whilst only having attended this one meeting out of the five we have conducted? Are you truly here in spirit, like I wasn't a few minutes ago?

Ratter: I'm wondering why you haven't been penalizing Livengood for this exact same thing in the fourth conference we had, by the beginning of the ninety-second World Cup qualifiers. By the way, it deeply offends me that you're accusing me so harshly, when you may not have even known if I was in the conferences we had had up to this point or not, where it's assumed you only judge attendance by who talked! After all, I may have been stuffed in a locker behind Rinnert whilst you probably didn't know of either I or Rinnert's existence. I already know that Witrago and Germain are out doing something stupid because they have to fulfill their job as waiters for an ice cream shop which is situated in the middle of our capitol mall. All of our citizens have been confused as to this turn of events, from which they were employed at a post to give out soft-serve treats while everyone else is wondering why the rest of the team isn't with them or why they're not in the country of Canadian Dominion like we are.

Julio: Now, did you carry out your actions due to your beliefs that my system is somewhat flawed, in a minuscule way, or when issued to on the orders of another teammate? I want to know if there is anyone behind these dastardly happenings so I can also chat with them.

Ratter: Pardon me, I couldn't help myself.

Julio: You couldn't help yourself to going through the effort of taking off shoes which weigh five pounds and have goldmanite buckles on them?

Ratter: No, for there must have been a liquid lubricant someone put in my sneakers. Hey, I'm not trying to blame this on anyone else, so it may have also been an overenthusiastic fan which came into our locker room from under the rafters of our Place of Valence. Ehhh, it's most likely Livengood or someone who hasn't taken part in our conference who has done this.

Julio: But that is stupid to say, for you have done it no times until the fifth one I've arranged! Also, what do you think happened to the Geektopian ball boy in which you threw the five pound shoe with loose buckles at?

Ratter: Either he lost his shoe already and was begging for me to throw it to him, then sought shelter elsewhere with the stolen shoe, in which case I assume no data exists anymore for an ongoing investigation to follow, or I maybe missed him and hit another person. Either way, the action was reckless, and I will not.. er I hope to not do it again. There's no way to prove I will not, or will not come close to doing so, because I do not remember the exact details of the happening. This may have been an occasion where animalistic instinct plagued the parts of my mind which made my body work, or I could have been hypnotized by someone, again, under the rafters. I truly apologize, and have you bid goodbye to my metal soles, with your great rage to act upon me?

Julio: Well, not really, I actually retrieved the sneakers and waited two hours longer than I should have for the stadium to pack out and grab them before any media was on me and questioning what I was doing. Also, I hate press conferences where you're asked questions that are impossible to answer without lying. Now, Dameţrice 'iidayfib Ṟath Eadjani, what you did was more acceptable, since you are incomparably valuable to us, effectively performing as a midfielder and a potential back-up to Lertora or Aadish in goal at the same time. However, I still have some questions to ask of you, because I have to consider being as fair as I was with Ratter. Are you torn between living off emotion and intelligence, or pushing people aside to set more of a solid presence as you go forward in life? Tell me the secret to becoming immensely famous and popular whilst acting a fool so as to dedicate your time here and in this career path to learning two vastly different football positions. I know I've acted like an idiot while I totally intended for such things to happen with a clear head, but have been hated by other people for these things which I've done, so how has this been so flawless with you? Really, in what traits does a person have to differ from another for these things to be considered by others as a part of their personality and not faults for which they should be criticized by?

Dameţrice 'iidayfib Ṟath Eadjani: Really, I don't know what I've been doing this entire time if I'm being honest with you, but the efforts have always been admired by people whether I put in these efforts successfully or not. I'm complimented for being a brave sweeper-keeper but haven't been doing any of that since I first started playing this sport in my youth, it's just an error in paperwork made by my high school coach which has been carried through to my career as it is now. In truth, I have been longing to know what someone else thinks of my situation, of whether I should break to the public about this by speaking or whether you should, in your unique vocabulary. I'm completely set on admitting I had never kept until signing for O.K. Mukladrue, and that by some farce, I was started multiple times because of the back saving my ass time and time again. So really, should it come out of my mouth, or does anyone else want to make a statement for me?

Julio: But.. no, I don't believe it! You're impeccable, there's no way you're not bad at playing two positions at the same time! Think about it, this could be revolutionary for our system: a moving object in the ocean of static that is our 3-4-3 formation. I get so excited just thinking about it!

Rebimbas: We're like.. viewed as deities in our country, so I fully trust you to make a decision without your losing any face being a factor to that. But to be honest, it would look weird if you didn't speak for yourself on this issue that none of us understand bar you. On to more important things, no disrespect, the airline we rented is heading back to Lito from Canadian Dominion.. uh, when?

Sistek: You'd think it would be after our game against them. Ooh yes, this also is going to be an opportunity to meet some of the most frequently-mentioned celebrities born in Geektopia, like that former head of the Alphabet Association, Zamora C., who has actually tried to shut down the group before, countlessly saving so many lives! I hear he's at the airport on the night of.

Diminno: Not to mention Hurtado P., the famous dowager woman from Unimon, whose yoga technique released to the public improves that which was on the Unimon government website by having it not be highly dependent on the state of mind you're in. As an effect, yogis like my sister take inspiration from her in that she doesn't have to hone her emotional state before doing any routines, allowing for those with depressed moods to enter and do whatever they may be doing within their hobby of choice without feeling like they should either be elsewhere or at work. Oh goodness, I can't wait for the airport even more than you, Sistek! Though I do have to say if Julio will allow any lingering thoughts on the subject of this to creep shortly thereafter in the preparation before Indusse, he is clearly not fit to be a manager in this post.

---

These dialogue posts are going nowhere so I'm going to have to do something a little different next time.

[StrayaRoos]

MD1/2

can we invade SBI for superior footballers to our team? #SBI_Invasion

MD3/4

Are we even gonna be close to Qualifying? #MeyerOut

MD5/6

How are we ahead of Baker Park? #STRvCBP

MD7/8

PLAYOFFS,HERE WE COME! #STRWCQ92

MD9/10

Unbeaten against all but 1 higher seeds? #GoEmus

MD11/12

Time for the collapse to begin#SecondHalfCollapse

MD13/14

Told You So #STRvDLT

MD15/16

Screw these competitions #WCQ92 #AODICC2

MD17/18

Can we quit now? #SoManyLosses

MD19/20

We're not gonna make it,at all. #Failure

[Turori]

A look at the Most Extreme nations in World Cup 92 Qualifying headed into the final internationstatal match window.

HOME SWEET HOME

Through 18 or 19 games of World Cup 92 Qualifying thus far, an incredible 9 teams have scored every single point they have earned thus far on home soil. It perhaps no surprise that the majority of these teams are last place in their group and their lone points at home were some of the few they collected at any point during the campaign. However there is one nation yet to score a single point on the road who is not last in their group and, in fact, if they had the same form on the road as tehy did at home they might still be in contention for a playoff spot heading into the final round of matches.

BRITLAND is currently placed 10th in Group 6 just 3 points behind Civia Welephilostopia yet remarkably their home/away point differential is 14. In fact, of all the teams that have only earned points at home during World Cup 92 Qualifying, only Britland has earned DOUBLE DIGIT points at home - with four wins and two draws to their credit. Much of it comes down to their poor record defending on the road. At home, Britland have conceded just 12 goals while on the road they have had to dig the ball out of the back of the net 32 times - most of any team in the group. In regards to earning all of their points at home, Britland is definitely THE MOST EXTREME.

I JUST LIKE, DON'T REALLY UM, I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO OUT RIGHT NOW

While Britland certainly takes earning your points at home to the extreme - there is one Nation in the Multiverse who has a Home v. Away Points Differntial even greater than that of Britland. PEMECUTAN. The White Myna have risen to prominence in recent cycles after their dazzling run during World Cup 90 where they advanced all the way to the World Cup Final before losing to The Holy Empire. Much of Pemecutan's success has been attributed to their home form and that trend has continued in World Cup 92 Qualifying. Pemecutan is one of just three nations who remain unbeaten at home currently boasting a 9-0-0 record for 27 points and they will look to close out their perfect home stand against Hapilopper on Matchday 22. It will perhaps be Pemeuctans toughest home test yet but if the White Myna have proven anything thus far, they aren't afraid of anyone inside the Tegeh Kori National Stadium. They just... don't really like playing anywhere else. Outside of the Tegeh Kori, Pemecutan are a middling 3-2-4 for 11 points - barely good enough for the 5th best away record in their own group and a far stretch from their current position as the Top Team in Group 5. For having the greatest Point Differential earned at Home, Pemecutan is definitely THE MOST EXTREME.

ROAD WARRIORS

Of course, where some are good at home, there has to be at least someone who is good on the road. That nation is Gyatso-kai. The Bisons have struggled greatly in their own arena with six defeats in nine matches. Whether it is nerves or just coincidence, the record doesnt lie as the Bisons have thus far lost just two games on the road where they have also recorded five victories. For having the greatest Point Differential (+8) earned on the Road, Gyatso-kai is definitely THE MOST EXTREME.

While Gyatso-kai clearly prefers the Road, they at least have shown an ability to perform at home sometimes by virtue of their three home victories. However, there is one nation that hasn't even done that. The Nation of Olastor has a perfect record of 0-0-9 at home having failed to earn a single point in front of their local supporters. Olastor have struggled away from home as well, but not nearly as much, having put together two victories in nine matches. For having scored all of their points on the road, Olastar is definitely the MOST EXTREME.

PUNCHING ABOVE THEIR WEIGHT

Most places in the multiverse, the final group tables look pretty much as expected. While it may not always be the top seed sitting in first place, you could generally find the Top 3 or 4 seeded nations occupying roughly the top 3 or 4 spots in the group table. That is, with at least one giant exception. It has been a whirlwind campaign for New Gelderland, a nation who weren't even expecting to enter the competition at one point. However, after stunning Eura to take home the Womens Football Gold Medal at the Summer Olympic Games there seems to have been a new life injected into the players and fans of New Gelderland. An appearance in the Cup of Champions / Eagles Cup served as afull slate of Warmup Matches for the New Gelderlish and it seemed to have worked perfectly as the team led by Savigliano Nicoletta Arnaudo is sitting in a playoff position with just two matchdays two play, a full 8 positions in the table above their seed. For having overachieved the greatest number of places in the group table when compared with their initial draw pot, New Gelderland is definitely THE MOST EXTREME.

[Electrum]

FOOTSPORT ASSOCIATIONS OF VILITA & ELECTRUM - WC92 ✓

@TheTurnip

It's time. While you wait here's a tasteful nude. Enjoy.



#WC92 #WoahThere

#CUTOFF :: #GRP_1-7

[Turori]

Eels Set for Cordian Rematch after Miracle Fails to Materialize

Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori :: After a 3-2 defeat to Valentine Z on Matchday 20, the Turori National Team really put themselves into a pickle. Oddsmakers accross the multiverse started looking at schedules and realizing that there really wasn't a good path for the Turori National Team to qualify directly to the World Cup 92 Finals. While they had been impressive in the games they won, like their 2-0 victory over a strong Bears Armed team late in the cycle, or their final matchday 2-0 victory over the StrayaRoos Barrier Islands which proved to be their 11th clean sheet performance of the campaign - over half of their games played, The Eels were sloppy when it counted.

Tarek Edgeli's normally tight defense could not contain Ichi Tuzzio's Swans. With help from fellow farflipper Friekder Dandaellion, Savigliane smashed 8 goals past the Turori National Team - something that historians are still flipping through the record books to see if it had ever happened between Turori and any other team in history - at the very least in modern times. Yet it wasn't just Savigliane who the Eels were conceding goals to. Aleirave put two past Derizi Amatopa and a further four past Terasin Moravuao. Ceni hung a further 4 goals past Amatopa even though the Eels somehow managed to win that game 6-4. Despite being involved in 10 shutout matches during the campaign, when Derizi Amatopa was off their game - they were way off of it.

It now leads to some interesting conversations ahead of the World Cup 92 Qualification Playoffs as the Turori National Team, despite being ranked as the #1 team in the multiverse, have demonstrated once more an inability to qualify directly to the World Cup Finals. It is unlikely that head coach Tarek Edgeli will deviate from Derizi Amatopa in goal for the Eels, as the Euran based goalkeeper has more than earned it as part of the Star Team of World Cup 91 and posting more shutouts over the cycle than any other Turorian goalkeeper in history. Yet there is that fear looming that The Cordian Isles will be one of those teams that has Amatopa and the Turorian defense "Figured Out". While some may point to the Turorian attack as the reason they failed to qualify for the World Cup 92 Finals - particularly their lack of goals on the road against the StrayaRoos Barrier Islands, a match which ended 0-0 and statistically inclined fans quickly point to as the real missed opportunity for Turori to have earned enough points to finish atop Group 1, ultimately the Eels can not afford to concede a large amount of goals against Cordia or they could have the unfortunate distinction of being one of if not the only #1 Seeded Nation in the World Cup Committee's KPB rankings to miss out on the World Cup Finals while also receiving an invitation to contest the Cup of Harmony.

The biggest potential issue for Tarek Edgeli and the Turori National Team is their opponent. The Cordian Isles. While Cordia struggled down the stretch - falling from the top of a very competitive Group 10 down to the final playoff spot - a spot they earned by just a single goal differential - in a second half collapse that saw Cordia suffer a five-game winless streak against Critical Group 10 opponents and nearly derailed their whole compaign. There will still be an opportunity for the Cordian Isles to take a spot in the World Cup Finals that seemed to be a given at the halfway point of qualification, but they will once again be forced to go through the #1 Ranked team in the multiverse to get there.

In a direct repeat of the World Cup 91 Qualification Playoffs, this newly formed rivalry between Turori and the Cordian Isles has even more flames added to the fire with the ultimate ticket on the line once more. Perhaps never have two teams been thrust into a forced rivalry as quickly as these two have and Cordia will be looking to take their first bite with revenge against the Eels. Last cycle, Turori started comfortably with a 3-1 victory at the Castle in Danvirk, Cordia. The Eels got second half goals from Nua'oma Aikiki, Lutara Makakio and Turakia Diijelhma to overcome a one goal first half deficit that the home side had thanks to Redvin Chase. Leg two came at the Cednia Beach Center in Cednia, home of Cednia Beach AFC. Tarek Edgeli's Eels didn't need to do much having taken a two-goal aggregate advantage into the match and they ultimately did just enough to maintain it, the games only goal being scored for Turori by Jungle Strike FC forward Nua'oma Aikiki - officially punching Turori's ticket to the World Cup 91 Final where they would win every game until the final losing to overwhleming underdogs Graintfjall who happened to be playing at home and used the energy from the local supporters to break Turorian hearts in the World Cup Final.

If Turori are going to get their own shot at revenge, they will have to keep to the script against newly forged rivals the Cordian Isles and put the 40th ranked team away quickly to avoid any tense moments back in Cednia Beach which will host the second leg of the playoff tie.

 Turori 2 - 0 StrayaRoos Barrier Islands	
	Turori Goals:	:: 29' Turakia Diijelhma:: 76' Kiidallen Aeroluzzi             
	Stats :: Turori	:: Possession: 56%:: Shots: 6:: Corners: 9 :: StrayaRoos Barrier Islands :: Possession: 44%:: Shots: 2:: Corners: 3
	Turori Lineup ::	Timaala Hualtia, Karek Edgeli, Planio’o Nrujsa, Biliki Rona'atu'i, Amakli Inuro'o, Cuoabaza Orani’aoa (Loala Inkabu 77'), Tulaki Rauogba, Kinabo Telioa (Kiidallen Aeroluzzi 62'), Lumlao Noauryua (Lati'ala Giaoka 71'), Turakia Diijelhma, Kala'a Yuliizala

Playoff Second Leg Venue Information & Preview:

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Cednia, Turori
Fixture :: World Cup 92 Qualifying Playoff Leg 2 v. The Cordian Isles

Location :: Cednia is the Vacation Center of the Island Emirate boasting the best Coastlines, nightlife and business opportunities within Turori in a sprawling coastal city.

Capacity :: 103,000

Stadium :: The Cednia Beach Center is one of the purest examples of capitalism and expansion in the Vilitan Leagues. Originally a modest plot for a modest team, the stadium has risen along with the rise of the club. Now, a world class stadium capacity wise, there are concessions that were made. The training grounds outside the center are second rate, and parking is virtually non-existent at the complex. Public transportation - including your own two feet, would be required for fans to access the stadium. Thats alright though, plenty of lodging surrounds the local area within walking distance.

The Cednia Beach Center has been home to International competitions for many seasons including the Cup of Harmony 53 Final contested between Darmen and New Montreal States. New Montreal States ran out 4-2 winners on the day in what was an otherwise quiet and successful day at the park for fans attending at the Cednia Beach Center, showcasing the ability for Cednia to host the marquee matchups of International Sport despite the close confines of the stadium with its Cednia surroundings. Just two cycles later, the Cednia Beach Center would be home to one of the the most talked about World Cup Finals of its era, when Atlantian Oceania powerhouse Starblaydia in search of their record 6th World Cup took on an Audioslavia side that had made more World Cup Finals without ever winning than any other nation. In that game, Audioslavia finally prevailed to earn their first World Cup title while Starblaydia still seeks that elusive 6th title.

Primary Tenants :: Cednia Beach AFC currently compete in the Vilitan Stellar Division. Cednia Beach AFC remain the only Turorian club to ever win the Vilitan Stellar Division Title and can also boast the UICA Globe Cup, Atlantian Oeania Champions League and Vilitan Cup (3x) among their honors.

Previous Fixture :: World Cup 92 Qualifying Matchday 13 v. Gyatso-Kai - One of another "What could have been" Days for the Turori National Team during World Cup 92 Qualifying, the Eels failed to score against the Gyatso-kai Bisons and dropped two points on the day

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[Atheara]

☵ Athearan Sport Ordering News
ASON.com.ahr/football/wc
The website for all your Athearan sporting needs, and many non sport related stories!

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◯Log in or Sign up!|.Home.|.Football.|.Hockey.|.Baseball.|.Chess.|.Volleyball.|.Basketball.|.Others.|.FAQ & More▼

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Football > World Cup
Welcome Back Atheara, Remember This Second Debut!
And thus, this cycle's world cup qualifiers are officially over! With the final set of matches in the first seven groups played, the nations that qualify to the World Cup and enter the playoffs are out, which means you know what it means. The qualifying stage is over for most of us. There are a lot of things to remember about this cycle, but for Atheara, there is quite the amount of moments to remember about! In this first returning cycle, we were able to prove that we can still compete, even after an absence from WCQ91. We formed a mostly new team as the second generation of The Blue Guard, entered the competition as surprise visitors, and was able to put on a show for the entire world to see. Something that I'm proud of.

And I would say that you should be proud too! Be proud if you do support this team, whether you're Athearan or not. As for the reasons why, it's because we have came quite far. Sure, our first generation missed a good cycle and they weren't given the proper goodbye that they probably deswrve, but sadly, we can't do anything about it. All we can do is remember them and continue on forward with what we have. Speaking with what we have, in this cycle, Atheara finished at 6th place in Group 10, and is the nation to concede the least amount of goals in said group, at a total of seveenteen (17) goals conceded. We also scored a total of nineteen (19) goals throughout a total of twenty (20) games in this years qualifying. The Blue Guard ends Cycle 92's qualifiers with a record of 8 - 4 - 8 as we end the journey by defeating Quakmybush by a 1 - 0 scoreline away.

Speaking of defeating Quakmybush, if you haven't realized, we faced off against several new nations that we never really had faced before. However, due to the fact that we lost Atheara's match record in football, we are unable to tell whether we actually have faced all of our groupmates before this years qualifying. But, I was able to compile Atheara's head to head record throughout this qualifying against the nations that were in our group, something that took me quite a while to do for some reason. And I'd say I am not really proud of taking a while on doing that when many others can and have done it faster. But, without further ado, here is our head to head record in this qualifying group. Courtesy of the people here at ASON (I myself included).

The Holy Empire
0 - 0 - 2 (1 GF - 3 GA)

Nyowani Kitara
1 - 0 - 1 (2 GF - 2 GA)

Saint Eleanor
0 - 0 - 2 (0 GF - 3 GA)

The Cordian Isles
1 - 0 - 1 (1 GF - 1 GA)

Wreckeria
0 - 1 - 1 (1 GF - 2 GA)

Abanhfleft
1 - 0 - 1 (1 GF - 1 GA)

Quakmybush
2 - 0 - 0 (3 GF - 0 GA)

West Barack and East Obama
0 - 2 - 0 (0 GF - 0 GA)

Sevendia
1 - 1 - 0 (7 GF - 5 GA)

New South Yukon
2 - 0 - 0 (3 GF - 0 GA)

I had a bet that you certainly didn't expect that. Yes, the most goals we got in oir two matches was in fact against Sevendia, and what's even more funny that it amounted to a total of seven goals scored against them! Seven goala total againat Sevendia, get it? I bet a certain few people would be delighted because of that. Speaking of more interesting statistics, there are many that we had dug up. But first, let's start with the basics. Throughout all the twenty matches Atheara played, The Blue Guard scored an average 0.95 goals per match, which is basically, statistically almost one goal per match. For a defensive team of Atheara's caliber, that sure is quite nice. We also conceded an average of 0.85 goals per match. Not as good as many other teams, but do remember the circumstances in that we are a returning team that is and was considered a Pot 8 team.

Looking further deep down, you realize that the match records also do tell something interesting. If you do the math easily, we did ten home games and ten away games. Now, speaking of those games. On home ground, our record is a surprising 2 - 3 - 5. Yeah, we really didn't do well on our own home ground, something we should improve upon. However, there are some news. Our record when we are on the road is 6 - 1 - 3! Meaning that we earned a total five out of thirty points at home (5/30) and we earned a total of nineteen out of thirty points at away soil (19/30), something that we should continuosly keep up as it is a great record to have. And you know how games are won by goals, right? Well, I have a shocker. We compiled Atheara's top goalscorers and assisters, because it is quite important that we do so. Here are the top goalscorers and top assisters for The Blue Guard throughout this qualifying campaign!

Top Goalscorers:
Zack Dawnbridge - III
Kirov Solmatzka - II
Mugel Krygorf - II
Natan Trevoire - II
Urusov Cantonian-Myords - II
Brandon Dottier - II
Alfadi Greznotsh - I
Mryzlav Koralsko - I
Azel Nieroth-Albrin - I
Draxler Archengate - I
Harlow Stonewall - I
Dani Halfaard - I

Top Assisters:
Tutrov Van Desseilts - II
Dani Halfaard - II
Azel Nieroth-Albrin - II
Zack Dawnbridge - I
Arkeson Trey-Galos - I
Rick Milewent - I
Mryzlav Koralsko - I

As you can see, based on this, Atheara scores more from goals where assists are not given or rather, Atheara scores often from set pieces as well. Either way, Zack Danwbridge is Atheara's top goalscorer with a low three goals. With how dynamically Atheara plays and how the team sets itself up, it is to be expected that no player will score almost every goal that The Blue Guard scores. And that's all I have for this time, really. I'm not sure what else I can talk about. We could go on and on about this, but man I need a break. I'm not a robot,I can't work every single hour on the news.

And that's all for the end of Atheara's World Cup Qualifying. We await what's next to come.... If there is a next.

[Delte]

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Delte 0–0 Sajnur
Sports Correspondent Polka Lunn at Ildemorton Road for the Oswark Parish Advertiser

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I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, but certainly mention should be made of the quiet wait for a few minutes at the end of this dullest of dull draws for confirmation of the away team's performance in Sarzonia, and New Gelderland's concomitant matches against the commonwealths of bakers and kangaroos. When the announcement came it was preceded by a reminder that as a stoic community the onus was on supporters to remain calm, which immediately alerted the listeners to the fact that they were in for some disappointment. But no! The Away Team had pulled off The Miracle In Sarzonia, something I will no doubt be over-labouring for many months to come as a sports reporter in the same way I have - unapologetically - regarding The Representatives being the only team to score ten goals in this cycle in September. A hearty round of applause rippled around Ildemorton Road at the good news, because, as several said, it seemed only right that a play-off place be awarded to the team that could score so many goals in the first two games of qualifying.

Shortly afterward, more surprise news filtered through when it was announced that Mrs. Taughtpurse had already stepped down as the Old Wives Gala Queen following the election at the Women's Institute in Rake Teinton, merely hours after her rise to power, citing unexpected difficulties with her self-raising flour. A new Gala Queen is expected to be appointed by the end of next week. Chaos in Rake Teinton, and the Delte Valley must be the laughingstock of the Domestic Election World Cup right now.

At the same time, or maybe a few minutes before...

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Sarzonia 1-2 Delte
Wind energy mechanic & Temporary Player-Reporter Ryno Orkeling in Woodstock for the Famous Askirk Bookshop Community Noticeboard

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I've been briefed not to dwell overly long on the finer details of our match, still here in the Atlantean Oceania region (where has everyone gone?) but suffice it to say the Away Team Mission to produce a Miracle In Sarzonia was successful, following Endo Eckhurst's stunning late corner kick that went straight in at the near post in the 92nd minute to secure two extra thrashings at the hands of Eura in the World Cup Play-Offs. After all the problems we have caused with a poor run of results on the road I hope this will go some way to making amends with our loyal followers back home. So it's off to Rushmore for us against the mighty Socialist States Owen, whoever that is.

I hear the home team are celebrating our success with a quiet meal at the Prince Tyrbert Hotel later. I wish I was there - I have to say we are all looking forward to getting home, these Atlantean Canine Stews are getting a bit much for my delicate palette.

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Every Day I Roleplay About Football
6/6 : The Reverend Billy Turing

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From: raul.valk@ediraf.co.sb

To: bot.hr@ediraf.co.sb
cc: fred.oakenshield@ediraf.co.sb

Dear Human Resources Inbox Processor. Hello, Regional Manager Raul Valk again. By all the Gods of the pan-Starblaydi pantheon! Thank you thank you thank you thank you! I got promoted! I don’t know why I told you that really, after all it was you who promoted me, thanks in no small part to Fred Oakenshield’s reference. Thank you Fred! Thank you thank you thank you etc. I even have a personalised email now too. Rest assured I will do my very best to further the greatness of our glorious corporation in this peculiarly lovely little corner of the world - I will even try to woo Neve Sark and marry into the family sportsmongery business to gain citizenship as you have requested, although I am not entirely sure I have the skillset for that particular job, never having tried marriage before. But I will do my best, Human Resources Inbox Processor. I will do my best, and I will definitely invite you and Fred to the wedding! Oops… getting ahead of myself a bit there. In the meantime, I have been asking the locals for some help finding a more permanent accommodation and I am really rather flattered to say they seem delighted to have an ediraf Regional Manager staying with them. I think they plan to put me up in the house next door to the Taxhavn Consulate. How kind!

Speaking of all the Gods of the pan-Starblaydi pantheon, one person who definitely won’t be presiding over the potential future wedding ceremony of Raul Valk and Neve Sark is The Reverend Billy Turing, a rabid local evangelist who definitely isn’t a devotee of ediraf. They don’t really do organised religion in the valley, being a community of committed stoics, but there is apparently a very small and thriving subculture of Rabid Evangelism and the self-appointed Reverend seems to be the barking ring-leader. Why am I telling you this? Well, Reverend Billy contends that ediraf is a name for The Devil, which apparently is also called Leviathan, and Satan, and The Adversary, and The Basileus and all that. He says ediraf is ‘The Sign Of The Toppled Cross’ and the mark of the beast. I saw him on Aughtshambles Corner, on his soap box, and caught some of his fire and brimstone performance. When he saw me, he frothed at the mouth, raised a pointed finger at me and said, “There! There is Legion! There is ediraf Incarnate!” Or something like that. I felt it best to retreat from the situation and was chased all the way to the Patrol station by a couple of his burly acolytes. Fortunately I had on my Air-Simeones and easily outsprinted them in their pedestrian and unfancy clogs, reaching the sanctuary of my friends The River Patrol where I was given a compensatory breakfast while a couple of Patrol Officers went to rough-handedly break up the unlicensed rabidity.

Sincerely, R.Valk,
Regional Manager.


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Every Day I Roleplay About Football [©Starblaydia Intellectual Property Protection Corps, license granted & renewal applied for] returns for a second season in World Cup ’94, which is either eight years away, your time, or next summer in my time. Can Regional Manager Raul Valk woo the Sark Family Sportsmonger poster girl? Is it true Simeone di Bradini is going to call his newborn twins Emberton and Foxchester based on possible locations of conception? Could Reverend Billy Turing be right - is Starblaydi sportswear the savoured sartorial style of Satan? Stayed tuned to NSWC 94 Roleplay Thread to find out.

[Legalese]

The Docket
A complete accounting of the day’s affairs, as best as we can ascertain

(More than) Three Questions

Today’s guest: Grant Management.

The Docket: Grant! Good to see you again. You see we renamed the column to avoid a repeat of last time?

Grant Management: Yes, you managed to get around that issue, congratulations to you and your editors for that.

D: [Laughs] So we’re speaking to you from Kota Lawang, where the Legalese National Team wrapped up their long march of a qualifying campaign with a 1-nil victory over the hosts.

G: Did you not come out for the match?

D: I’m not on the sports beat, Grant, so not really my job.

G: A shame, because it’s lovely here. If it weren’t for the mining, it’d be paradise.

D: Fair enough. So, now that qualifying is over, you find yourselves with a fifth place finish, six back of the playoff spot, and level on points with fourth-place Hapilopper. How do you feel about this?

G: Pretty good, and admittedly probably better than our friends in Hapilopper are feeling.

D: Interesting. Could you elaborate?

G: I imagine that I could.

D: …and are you going to?

G: Sure, why not. You see, it’s a matter of perspective. Yes, everyone wants to make the World Cup, and it’s been a long time since we’ve been there. But the truth is, we’ve made less than a quarter of the cups we’ve attempted to qualify for, and we’re nowhere near where we were when that run happened back in the Cushing and Thate era. I say that with no disrespect for my team -- we fight hard, never give up on the play, and it worked almost as much as it didn’t -- at least enough to finish three places above where the pundits would have had us. That’s a good place to be, to exceed expectations, but to have the hunger for more.

D: So, you’re confident you’ll have a chance in the Cup of Harmony, then?

G: Sorry, can’t answer. I’m already at more than three questions.

[West Barack and East Obama]

BBC Official Rankings: 5 Best Goal Attempts and 5 Best Red Cards

By Football Correspondent Gary Obamaniker

Dewayo, Nyowani Kitara - The World Cup Qualifiers have officially ended, and the Obamen have done it in a blaze of glory. The team went into the last two games against top teams from The Holy Empire and Nyowani Kitara whilst already being knocked out, so they had nothing to lose. Of course, we were still soundly destroyed by the two teams, but we still managed to cause chaos heading into the final two matchdays.

The home match against The Holy Empire at the Pentagram Underworld and the away match against Nyowani Kitara at the Revolutionary Grounds produced some delightful and mostly embarrassing attempts on goal by the Obamen as they abandoned all principles of defending and went full on overload. Here are our five favourite ones: ranked.

Number 5: Fred Olibama tries his luck from the halfway line (v. The Holy Empire, 2')

Our first attempt on goal that we will discuss was the first of the two ties. After passing the ball around the back for a while, a pass from Otto Obama-Richards lands at the feet of Fred Olibama at around the halfway line. Feeling a bit too lazy to dribble that day, Olibama struck the ball as hard as he could with his right foot, aiming for top bins at the left corner. This move almost worked as the hamster-like defenders just watched in awe, but the shot was far too powerful as it ended up high and wide of the goal. It ended up knocking out an air conditioning unit and caused a group of Obaman tank executives to sweat profusely, which made them worry about whether there had been yet another Taco Bell incident.

Number 4: Jean-Marie Ouibama does the Tour de France (v. Nyowani Kitara, 74')

In the last game of World Cup qualification, Jean-Marie Ouibama decided to cap off a breakout campaign by adding to his ever-expanding goal tally. At this point, the score was 7-1 to the Nyowani Kitarans and there really was nothing more that could be done to salvage a victory, but that didn't stop Ouibama. A corner kick from Lily Chobamya descended upon the goal, and Ouibama rose up to do a bicycle kick. His foot connected with the ball and blasted into the goal, with the defenders completely unable to stop the shot. Sadly, it was revealed seconds later that he had shoved centre-back Tendenka Mutsekwa to the ground in the buildup, disallowing the magnificent goal.

Number 3: Jenny Barracki delivers a scissor kick (v. The Holy Empire, 23')

Jenny Barracki, a famed Obaman sprinter, cricketeer and footballer. What can't she do? Well, it turns out it is trying to score. Having already fluffed a header in the 12th minute, she had another opportunity to score in the 23rd and she decided to be ambitious. Jumping up, she decided to deliver a scissor kick to grab a goal for the Obamen. Unfortunately, she narrowly missed the ball and managed to knock Brett Pogama unconscious with her powerful kick (she is a sprinter after all). Ouch.

Number 2: Bogdan Obammus does the Hand of Obama (v. The Holy Empire, 35')

Those hamsters really are unusually large. It made it quite hard to maneuver, so when Lily Chobamya whipped in the corner, Bogdan Obammus had no choice but to slap the ball in. The scenes were wild as the ball smashed into the back of the net, leading to huge protests from the hamsters. Bodgan Obammus had an early bath and the goal was of course disallowed.

Number 1: Harvey Chobamya does a diving header (v. Nyowani Kitara, 10')

Just ten minutes into the match against Nyowani Kitara, the Obamen were 2-0 down. Hoping to halve the deficit and try and force at least a draw against their opponents, Jean-Marie Ouibama ran down the wing with the ball and crossed it to Harvey Chobamya, who scored a magnificent diving header from just outside the penalty box. Unfortunately, the most memorable moment was immediately afterwards, when Chobamya, Fred Olibama, Nyowani Kitarans Armoni Okombo and Oduor Bigombe, and the linesman got into an argument over offside, which quickly turned into a brawl between the five. Chobamya, Olibama and Okombo were all sent off as a result, but the goal still stood. Another fat W for the Obamen.

Of course, how could the games be completed without a ranking of our favourite red cards! Let's take a look.

Number 5: Trent Vobama trips up a hamster (v. The Holy Empire, 13')

Turns out those polite top hat-wearing hamsters have a low centre of gravity, as in the 13th minute Trent Vobama stuck his leg out to try and "win possession". This led to Pebbles flying through the air and face first onto the ground. The venerable captain didn't even gain possession, and was promptly given his marching orders.

Number 3 and Number 4: Harvey Chobamya and Fred Olibama get brawling (v. Nyowani Kitara, 10')

As mentioned, the first ten minutes against Nyowani Kitara got off to a flying start which ended with an all out brawl. Harvey Chobamya's controversial goal led to players on both sides flying off the handle, with 3 players going off the pitch. Two of those being ours. Somehow the goalkeeper got away with just a yellow but I suppose I'm not a ref.

Number 2: Bogdan Obammus does the Hand of Obama (v. The Holy Empire, 35')

Also aforementioned, but this didn't lead to a goal for the Obamen at all. I don't even know what he was trying. The obviously illegal and egregious handball led to Bodgan Obammus, substituted on for Charles Obama to fill in the hole left by Trent Vobama's red card, made things a bit more complicated for the Obamen.

Number 1: Barack Denovitz was kung fu fighting! (v. Nyowani Kitara, 45+7')

Of course our gangster centre-back wanted to join in on the fun. After receiving a yellow card, Denovitz thought it was full time and decided to walk back to the tunnel. He suddenly shocked everyone by doing a kung fu kick on one of the travelling Obaman fans in the Revolutionary Grounds, knocking him out. He claimed that he was trying to make a citizens arrest against his "terrorist uncle Gaston" and that he was trying to stop the fugitive, but the referee wasn't buying it and sent him off for violent conduct. Then blew the half time whistle. Yeesh.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Of Ancient Foes
Salwan Mynhier

After winning their final three matches to hold their position ahead of Yuezhou, the Black-and-Reds will make the playoffs of World Cup Qualifying for the third time. Last cycle, they eked out a nail-bitingly close 1-0 aggregate victory over Electrum, they got past Trolleborg 4-3. Now, however, a stern test awaits the team. Audioslavia is, of course, one of the very small number of active nations (2, to be precise) whose footballing history predates that of Squornshelous. The two sides have met only five times, with the most recent of those being a 'Slavian victory in the semifinal of World Cup 20 (recent is very much a relative term here). Even with the relatively small number of meetings, and the fact that well over a century has passed since the last of those, the two nations have remained, shall we say very much aware of each other. That's likely because of how caught up Audioslavia were in what could be called a sort of "creation myth" of Squornshelan football. Famously or infamously depending on which side of the field you were standing on, Squornshelous played their very first international match against Audioslavia, in Audioslavia, and came away with a resounding 4-0 win ('scuse me, a 0-4 win if we're being entirely accurate). That result has never quite been forgotten, despite long since being lost to mortal memories. The presence, or rather persistence of a certain immortal memory has no doubt helped preserve the old grudge, comatose though Messr. Jaffacake has been of late. All the best wishes to him in his recovery.

Based on the two teams' (ancient) history, it's a bit of a tossup who's likely to win. In the past, whenever elimination has been on the line, Audioslavia has proved victorious, winning 5-4 in the quarterfinals of World Cup 12, and 5-3 in extra time in the aforementioned semifinal of World Cup 20. Incidentally, Audioslavia would go on to lose the final in each of those tournaments. Maybe they should've just let the Squornshelans take a crack at it instead. Anyhow, based on that history, you'd expect the Bulls on Parade to be at their best in this winner-take-all playoff. But it's complicated by the fact that Audioslavia have never beaten a Squornshelan team in Qualifying. There was the 0-4 debacle in World Cup 5 qualifying, of course, but also a pair of meetings in World Cup 17 qualifying, resulting in the Pschychoes (sic) once again pumping the opposition for four goals in Audioslavia before the teams fought to a scoreless draw in the return leg in Vogsphere. So the question is this: is this a match in qualifying, or a knockout? Or is trying to predict the future based on what happened a couple hundred years ago pure nonsense to begin with?

History and prognostication aside, there's reason to be optimistic for Squornshelan fans. The Black-and-Reds have still only lost once so far this cycle, twice if you count the pre-qualifying friendly against Baker Park. The resulting 19-match unbeaten streak is the longest in the Confederacy's history, and still alive. If Audioslavia, whose only losses of qualifying came against Græntfjall and Tikariot but who like the SRS struggled with draws against lower-ranked opposition, mean to advance, they'll have to end that run. They are definitely the more successful team in terms of silverware, with two World Cups, one Cup of Harmony, four AOCAF Cups, one CAFA Cup, and a Baptism of Fire to their name. All that compared to the lone World Cup trophy gathering dust in its case here in the SRS, accompanied only by a handful of runners-up medals. If the mid-qualifying projections are anything to put stock in, though, the matchup is quite a bit closer than that would suggest, with Audioslavia and the Squornshelan Remnant States projected at 18th and 21st in the multiverse respectively, making this the closest playoff matchup on paper.

Squornshelan Remnant States - 2
North and South Vietnam - 1

Goals:
SRS: Titov 43', Bondarov 81'
NSV: Vũ B. T. 60'

Lineup:
SRS: Krusan; Nyberg (Bakken 90'), Galdra, Titov, Halfariani; Tabur, Hashemi; Bondarov, Damnagoras (Nisarizo 74'), Ditou; Ness (Gerstlauer 79')

Sargossa - 1
Squornshelan Remnant States - 2

Goals:
SRG: Soria 14'
SRS: Stern 51', Hashemi 78'

Lineup:
SRS: Shimski; Nyberg, W. Harkhan, Titov, Halfariani; Tabur, Hashemi; Bondarov (Stern 45'), Zazagan, Yonte (Malgos 88'); Fridtjofs (Hedberg 81')

SRS Player Statistics, Qualifying:

Goalkeepers
Player            Caps  CS
Paiva Shimski      12    4
Shreya Krusan       4    1
Nurul Heiskanen     2    0
Ilkay Memmedov      1    0
Saffiyah Kartal     1    0
Outfield Players
Player            Caps Goals
Mithya Hashemi     16    3
Purna Zazagan      16    2
Ikra Yonte         15    7
Walda Harkhan      15    0
Selvala Tabur      14    0
Damnagoras         13    7
Thorgnyr Bondarov  13    5
Blasko Titov       13    2
Solan Halfariani   12    0
Vasilii Nyberg     11    0
Snorre Fridtjofs   10   11
Vlart Hedberg       8    0
Talia Nisarizo      8    0
Caitrin Ness        7    4
Aodaghan Stern      7    1
Jirar Malgos        6    0
Kaalia Gerstlauer   5    2
Lyzolda Petrov      5    2
Tonje Bakken        5    0
Sawda Bedrosian     5    0
Ayli Galdra         5    0
Valda Harkhan       5    0
Rustik Koshelev     5    0
Taisiya Achthoven   4    0
Chiranjivi Dast     4    0
Arttu Ditou         4    0
Ljuba Bucvarov      3    1
Maol Eanain         3    0
Tiiu Aaltonen       2    0
Pyotr Arikansky     2    0
Sevet-Ibilx Kai     2    0
Juljana Chmela      1    0
Surya Jagdish       1    0
Palla Jagidar       1    0
Aaro Musta          1    0
Malai Yarlut        1    0
Sahnaz Panoss       0    0

Schedule and Results

FRND: SRS 0-0 DRK @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem
FRND: SRS 1-2 CBP @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem

MD01: RAN 2-1 SRS @ Smith Field (cap. 19,050), Richardson, RAN
MD02: SRS 3-2 SCO @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD03: YZH 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD04: SRS 0-0 PYA @ Black Raven Field (cap. TBA), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD05: BRP 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD06: SRS 4-3 TLI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD07: KAN 0-1 SRS @ Empress Masumi Stadium (cap. 90,000), Tenkyo, KAN
MD08:     BYE
MD09: SRS 1-0 BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 46,950), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD10: NSV 3-5 SRS @ Tiên Sơn Stadium, Đà Nẵng, NSV
MD11: SRS 2-2 SRG @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle Megabrantis, SRS
MD12: SRS 0-0 RAN @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD13: SCO 3-3 SRS @ SuperNerd Wants To Fight Video Game And Computer Store Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD14: SRS 3-3 YZH @ Slavnareczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD15: PYA 1-5 SRS @ TBA
MD16: SRS 4-1 BRP @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD17: TLI 0-1 SRS @ LTI Stadium (cap. 75,000), Montfort, TLI
MD18: SRS 2-2 KAN @ Vogsphere Arena (cap. 90,000), Vogsphere, Isle of Squornshelous, SRS
MD19:     BYE
MD20: BGJ 1-4 SRS @ TBA
MD21: SRS 2-1 NSV @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD22: SRG 1-2 SRS @ Estadio Generalissimo Joaqín Delgado (cap. 108,879), Soluca, SRG

PO1: AUD  v  SRS @ TBA
PO2: SRS  v  AUD @ Albrechtsson Park (cap. 65,400), Damogran, Algolia, SRS

[Flavovespia]

Flavovespia 2 - 3 Jeruselem

Flavovespia ended their Group 6 campaign with a 2-3 loss to Jeruselem. On paper this game was effectively meaningless for Flavovespia, but in practice it raised concerns over their form, as well as an inability to avoid a loss to higher ranked sides.

The line up was one of strength, not a side looking to play out this game as a friendly with little riding on it. Robert Totten replaced David Clark, but other than that, it was the same line up that won in Delaclava. The game certainly started off lively, no surprise with Jeruselem desperate for the win to keep up their chances of getting back into the playoffs. Flavovespia weren’t going to take it lightly though, and were looking sharp for counter-attacking opportunities. The game had early vibes of one where there’d be action and some goals.

The 26th minute delivered the first goal, and it went the way of the hosts. Kieron Player’s free-kick took a deflection off the head of Chris Christie. Jonathan Bagshaw reacted quickest at the back post, and jabbed the ball over the line. There were appeals for offside, quickly waved away as the ball hadn’t come from a Flavovespian player before landing at the feet of Bagshaw. Jeruselem were fired up and looking hard for an equaliser, but their forward play became sloppy and Flavovespia were able to take the game to half time in the lead.

Jeruselem got their big chance in the 64th minute. Ina Ninomae was too quick for Daniel Lansdell, and his loose challenge inside the box sent Ninomae to the ground. Despite some cries of dive from the home fans, it was a clear penalty. Jacob Geese-Frogg stepped up and drilled it in, well placed to his right hand side, and Aarif Muhammad couldn’t reach it. Just 3 minutes later, he scored again, this time he got on the end of the through ball from Diplo Pharm, and held off Daniel Lansdell before shooting past Aarif Muhammad. The goalkeeper and defender will both be disappointed there to an extent, but for Jersuelem, joy as they now had the lead they were searching so hard for.

Flavovespia weren’t going to take a loss easily, and with 10 minutes to go, their attacking efforts paid off. With plenty in the box, David Blythe swung in a cross, and Scott Coleman timed his run to perfection, before leaping and heading into the corner. The substitute, on for Adrian Jones, showed he still had it in him to score if there was a chance. The joy however didn’t last, and in the 84th minute, the eventual winner came. Jeruselem had plenty forward for a corner, and the ball was floated in with Kieron Player getting a half-clearance, but Uruha Russia hitting the ball first time and into the top corner. A quality goal, but one Flavovespia were gutted to concede. They themselves pushed hard for a 3rd, and Kieron Player forced a good save out of Baelz Helos on the cusp of injury time, but that was the last big chance.

With Flavovespia losing their final group game, it wasn’t the ideal preparation for their playoff encounter. On the final matchday, there were waiting to see how the 3rd place teams would finish, to determine their opponents. Yuezhou would be the team Flavovespia would need to face. 3rd, behind Kandorith and Squornshelan Remnant States in Group 3, they came into the World Cup Qualifiers ranked 48th. They play a similar 4-3-3 to Flavovespia, a high pressing, fairly attacking side. Flavovespia travel away, and will know that it’s imperative to try and make sure they don’t lose the opening game, to give themselves the best chance in the Hornet’s Nest to try and qualify for their second World Cup.