Cup of Harmony 73 - Everything Thread

by **Equestrian States** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:00 pm

Cup of Harmony 73
Groups A-D :: Round of 16 Results

Taeshan 1–4 Juvencus

at Sky-High Coliseum in Cloudsdale, EQS

Mytanija 0–0 Geisenfried

(1–0 AET)
at Star Stadium in Canterlot, EQS

Qusmo 1–0 New Lusitania

at Elements Stadium in Ponyville, EQS

Abanhfleft 2–2 Squornshelan Remnant States

(2–3 AET)
at Shady Grove in Whitetail, EQS

Groups A-D :: Quarterfinals Fixtures

Juvencus vs. Mytanija

at Wild Grounds in Everfree, EQS

Qusmo vs. Squornshelan Remnant States

at Diamond Park in Stalliongrad, EQS

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:50 am

Brattleboro Stadium, Brattleboro, Cassadaigua. Princess Cassie and Princess Chloe after the 2nd round of Cup of Harmony ...

Cassie: This is Princess Cassandra Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in Brattleboro Stadium, Brattleboro, Cassadaigua. Here Jeruselem took on Karulicja to see who makes the quarter finals of Cup of Harmony 73. Something that hasn't happened much for Jeruselem ... or Karulicja. I'm with the Jeruselem coach, which happens to be my sister Princess Chloe.
Chloe: Hello everyone at home!
Cassie: In Cassie Land ... as Princess Kat would say, we cover all the 2nd round games.
Chloe: We'll cover Pony Land later
Cassie: Tinhampton beat South Toronto 2-0, Main Nation Ministry upset top seed Savojarna 3-2, Kelssek upset Eastfield Lodge 1-0 and of course our game.
Chloe: We're not going home, yet

Cassie: Jeruselem stopped the fairy tale run of Karulicja, soundly beating them 5-1. Once again, young Katya proved to be a bit of nuisance and scored a few more goals.
Chloe: She's good, reckon she could have scored a hattrick today. But she didn't really need to do that.
Cassie: Defense was good today, I wish they did that in the world cup games.
Chloe: Yes, but anyway. We're here and we're here to win. Not make up numbers.
Cassie: The team is getting better after that first game loss.
Chloe: Well, we hope we can go further now. Maybe even make the finale itself.

Cassie: Tinhampton face Main Nation Ministry and we face Kelssek in the quarters in Cassadaigua. Not quite the games people would have predicted.
Chloe: Yes, Main Nation Ministry and Kelssek weren't expected to get this far really.
Cassie: In the Equestrian States or Pony Land as kids call them, a few upsets there as well.
Chloe: Yeah, some of our friends failed to fire up.
Cassie: Juvencus beat Taeshan 4-1, Mytanija upset Geisenfried 1-0 in overtime, Qusmo beat New Lusitania 1-0 and Squornshelan Remnant States knocked out top seed Abanhfleft 3-2 in overtime.
Chloe: Yes, a lot of shocks in Pony Land. Especially two of the top seeds gone.

Cassie: Juvencus play Mytanija, Qusmo take on giant killers Squornshelan Remnant States.
Chloe: We've lost some of the top seeds like Savojarna, Eastfield Lodge and Abanhfleft. There's still us Juvencus and Tinhampton.
Cassie: Low seeds Kelssek and Mytanija are still here, defying the rankings.
Chloe: It's a pretty even competition this one. The World Cup has really great teams who always qualify, and teams who never. Here it's spread of evenly matched teams.
Cassie: On paper, we should beat Kelssek.
Chloe: They did beat Eastfield Lodge who are ranked about our level so really, we can't dismiss them. We have to play our best, like today.

Cassie: Just based on rank, the semis should be Juvencus vs Qusmo, Jeruselem vs Tinhampton.
Chloe: But we see a lot of teams who punching above their rank, that's the nature of the Cup of Harmony. Rank isn't a great indicator at all.
Cassie: Can we make it to the finale?
Chloe: Any team here can, it's just who's the best on the day. We have talent to win this, it's just how we execute our gameplan.
Cassie: What would it mean to win this?
Chloe: We haven't won anything for ... forever, it means a lot. It's not the World Cup but a great thing to win anyway.

Cassie: Would you say we have one of shorter teams on the field?
Chloe: Yes, we don't really use height much. More emphasis on controlling the ball and speed than height. I don't have a lot of tall players anyway.
Cassie: But that proves an issue playing against bigger taller teams.
Chloe: You have to stick to your strategy, and yes we have an aerial disadvantage in defense. The only way to counter that is to not allow them so float in headers.
Cassie: Well that's all from us, see you later.
Chloe: Hopefully we can bring home the silverware.

by **Juvencus** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 1:45 pm

Taeshan 1-4 Juvencus

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, GLI ATTACCANTI ARE THROUGH

A superior gli attaccanti side managed to power through the strong Taeshani defence, scoring 4 in order to progress to the Cup of Harmony 73 quarter-finals

CLOUDSDALE After a few hiccups to the likes of Qusmo and East Belzaria, the gli attaccanti is back on track with good performances. Fans at the Sky-High Colliseum, in Cloudsdale enjoyed a thunderstorm of goals and missed opportunities as the Juven side unleashed its full form self against Taeshan, which had conceded no goals prior to last night's game.

A night to remember, started with the ball on the Taeshani side of the pitch early on, as a Martell through ball was able to find Silvestri with the latter's shot missing the goal by an inch. Soon after, a strong Etxeberria shot from outside the box was brilliantly saved by a magnificent Jingleheimer-Smitt leap. The first goal of the game soon followed which came after a brilliant passing game from the gli attaccanti's midfield which saw Joaquim Martell score from outside the box, after finding an opening through the Taeshani defence, thus breaking the ice. Pressure never really ceased as the ball was still on the Taeshani side of the stadium. Another goal soon followed as Martell backheeled the ball to Etxeberria who curved the shot brilliantly, leaving Jingleheimer-Smitt unable to react. Taeshan's only opportunity of the first half came during the dying minutes of it, with Aleskandr Denisov's shot going wide. Thus, the first half ended 0-2 in Juvencus' favor.

The second half started with the Taeshanis immediately pressuring towards the gli attaccanti side of the pitch and soon enough they capitalised on the Juven defence's indiscipline as Figueroa's through ball found Torres alone with Bulgari, proceeding to lob the ball over him and reducing the difference to one goal. However, this would prove to be the last we could see of the Taeshanis for the game as the tides changed real quick and a thunderstorm of opportunities from the gli attaccanti soon followed, however with none of them being capitalised. This resulted with the Juven goal machine being turnt on and on the 79th minute, a chance that could be considered an act of serendipity followed, as a cross from Martell clearly looking for Etxeberria was capitalised abruptly by a Silvestri header. Soon afterwards, the game would be sealed with another goal scored by Silvestri, this time assisted by Tore Christian. 1-4 was the result on the final whistle and the gli attaccanti was through to the quarter-finals of the Cup of Harmony 73. Next game is against the 120th best team in the world, Mytanija, which emerged victorious against Geisenfried, winning 1-0 with extra time needed.

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi(Subbed off for Amaury Félix, 60')
CB:Izotz Ibarra
CDM:Nino Russo
CDM:Clovis Bret(Assist 18')
RM:Hugo Grec
LM:Tore Christian(Assist 86')
RF:Patxi Etxeberria(Goal 37')
LF:Joaquim Martell(Goal 18', Assists 37', 79')
CF:Santo Silvestri(Goals 79', 86')

Taeshan XI:
GK:Jacob Jingleheimer-Smitt
CB:Edison Trueblood
CB:Jamie Fasnacht
RB:Daigo Coshan
LB:Alex Turniquette
CDM:Randall Abl Bakr
CM:Geoffrey Klingenberg
CM:Janson Jewsbury
CAM:Alson Figueroa(Assist 48')
RF:Aleksandr Denisov
LF:Abriel Torres(Goal 48')

by **Kelssek** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:50 pm

Superstition holds that Margaret looks unkindly on those planning for a win. Yet, Margaret also smiles on the underdog. That and a bright idea to totally boost their social media led one of the more organized fan clubs to go around to local office buildings asking for the contents of their paper shredders.

"It works win or lose", the Ideas Person had promised. So they started handing out the shreds to the other fans in the Kelssek section at 86 minutes. They also monitored the television camera crews and made sure the bits of paper which actually were tickets and receipts were in the right places. Once the final whistle went they started throwing the shreds in the air.

It all came off better than expected. The live cameras found great shot of a fan ripping up a boarding pass up in front of the them, and that was enough for their post that the shower of paper bits from the Kelssek fans were plane tickets and cancellation charge receipts were to go viral. Of course, it made no sense since most people do all that by email, and even printouts wouldn't generate that much paper, but wow dude you must be fun at parties.

They didn't need much planning for the song which had quickly acquired anthemic status and a few new verses.

Quick li'l trip we thought it'd be
A couple football games to see
Got tickets to the Cup of Harmony
And they say Cassadaigua's real lovely

But we won one game and then another
So now I had to call my mother
Not coming home, not coming home
We're not coming home
Not coming home, not coming home
We're the Kel-cheks, and we're not coming home

"Eventually you won't want to overstay your visa, yeah?"

Wow dude, you must be fun at parties.

by **Tinhampton** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:07 pm

OOC: Please accept this mishmash of graphics, match statpacks and a Lydia Gould column; as I've said, Forays of Folly is finally returning eventually. Sorry for the geometric disconnect between the two graphic scorecards; the TBS are still trying to find their feet in these regards ICly, lime green on white looks horrible OOCly (Cass, please forgive me for searing your retinas in advance

)

*
the Tinhamptonian National Football Team - The Miners
under the auspices of the Tinhampton Football Association
*
TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 3-0 Kelssek
Venue: Grande Mountain Stadium, Grande Mountain, Cassadaigua
*

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (4-1-4-1): 16. Julia ATHERTON (GK) (C), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Davina SALT, 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 6. Mohamed al-KHAZR, 7. Jacob NORTH, 8. Louise WHITBREAD, 9. Fetakela MANUTA, 10. Priscilla EVANS
Kelssek (4-5-1 Wide): Kai POURIER (GK), Thamior LIADON, Damien HALLAGER, Kassel POKORNÝ, Tim BOWLER, Rémy DIONNE, Ruslan DEMETRIEV (C), Victor CLINTON, Adrian TREMBLAY-FILLON, Blake McDONAGH, Brayden CUSTWORTH
Unable to play: Not applicable

GOALS: Fetakela MANUTA 12'31'' (TIN), Priscilla EVANS 70'30'' (TIN), Fetakela MANUTA 74'59'' (TIN)
CARDS: Yellow: Damien HALLAGER 73'22'' (KSK). Red: none
INJURIES: None, again
OTHER INCIDENTS: Kelssek did not supply shirt numbers to their players. Tinhampton have qualified for the Round of Sixteen of the 73rd Cup of Harmony following Freeport's 1-1 draw with Beepee.

*
the Tinhamptonian National ~~Football~~ Hoofball Team - The Miners
under the auspices of the Tinhampton ~~Football~~ HOOFBALL Association
*
~~TFA~~ THA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 1-0 Freeport
Venue: New Lakeland Stadium, New Lakeland, Cassadaigua
*

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (4-1-4-1): 16. Julia ATHERTON (GK) (C), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Davina SALT, 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 6. Mohamed al-KHAZR, 7. Jacob NORTH, 8. Louise WHITBREAD (↻ RICHARD 77'), 9. Fetakela MANUTA, 10. Priscilla EVANS (↻ GRAHAM 66')
Freeport (4-1-2-3): 1. KUKIRI (GK) (C), 2. SPOTTED SPIRIT, 5. BLOODBLADE, 4. ALASTAIR (↻ FLAIR ECLIPSE 82'), 3. SHARP FOCUS, 19. TEMPTATION (↻ LOLICIA 68'), 9. THORN BRISTLE, 7. STORM CHILL, 8. PUZZLE PIECE, 10. Torvald ROYLE, 11. SONAR AMETHYST
Unable to play: Nope, still no injury worries on either team

GOALS: Peter NORTH 63'44'' (TIN)
CARDS: Yellow: TEMPTATION 62' (FPT), Davina SALT 74' (TIN), Nathaniel GEORGE 86' (TIN). Red: None
INJURIES: Mohamed al-KHAZR 61' (TIN) and out for one game.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Louise WHITBREAD (TIN) missed a penalty around 64'; NORTH's subsequent goal was from the rebound. Torvald ROYLE (FPT) also missed a penalty around 75'.

*
the Tinhamptonian National Football Team - The Miners
under the auspices of the Tinhampton Football Association
*
TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 2-0 South Toronto
Venue: Grande Mountain Stadium, Grande Mountain, Cassadaigua
*

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (4-1-4-1): 16. Julia ATHERTON (GK) (C), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Davina SALT, 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 17. Johnny HOLMES, 7. Jacob NORTH, 8. Louise WHITBREAD, 9. Fetakela MANUTA, 10. Priscilla EVANS
South Toronto (4-3-3): Juan Esteban DE MITES (GK) (C), Praye DE LOOD, Brian PENELOPE, Jamal SERUKU, Jeremías SAN JOSE, Paul MAKANJOKO, Ni Ling SON, Germanpreet SACHADEV, Tyrese TOWNSEND, Ligti SABIR, Decepti VARDEZ (Jr.)
Unable to play: Mohamed al-KHAZR (TIN), Jozy DEMBELE (South Toronto, trigram unknown - burnout from Dreamplanet match)

GOALS: Fetakela MANUTA 34'01'' (TIN), Praye DE LOOD 90'00'' + 01'44'' (TIN - own goal)
CARDS: Yellow: Germanpreet SACHADEV 53' (South Toronto). Red: Brian PENELOPE 32' (South Toronto).
INJURIES: Still none. Praise be to Maggie!
OTHER INCIDENTS: South Toronto did not supply shirt numbers to their players. Tinhampton are in the QUARTERFINALS of the Cup of Harmony, where they will face [SAVOJARNA or MAIN NATION MINISTRY - delete as appropriate after extra time in that game ends]. This is the first occasion in history in which Tinhampton has kept a clean sheet for four consecutive games played out to their intended completion, as opposed to being abandoned early (looks judgmentally at Colonial Australia).

Exclusively for TinhamptonianPlus members

You are currently logged in - My Account - Log Out

originally published 13th October 2018
Lydia Gould: The Nell experiment is iconic of Tinhamptonian football's struggles
If you can read this, then good on you, how ironically - you either paid one dollar fifty to buy the paper itself or our five-dollar monthly e-subscription fee in order to gain access to my commentary and analysis. But how would you mind paying ten dollars every month for one privately-owned television channel, almost entirely to find yourself able to watch a single live game?
This isn't some foreign hypothetical; in fact, this is exactly the kind of drama that Joe Tinhampton found himself entwined in over the past few days, with George Nell's TinChannel attempting to celebrate its twentieth anniversary on the airwaves by ordering exclusive coverage of Tinhampton's round of sixteen tie against who ultimately turned out to be South Toronto, easily swept away by a Fetakela Manuta free kick in the first half and an inexplicable, ironic Praye de Lood own goal well into injury time of the second.
The ploy certainly worked from a financial perspective with overnight viewership figures pulling in forty-thousand souls in Tinhampton alone, roughly the same figure that tuned in to watch Savojarna and the Main Nation Ministry square off to decide the Miners' quarter-final nemesis on the TBS itself but barely half the figure that usually tunes in on the public broadcaster. Once we look at the contextual figures, however, all becomes clearer.
The TinChannel counts within its ranks of subscription about ten percent of the Tinhamptonian population, not all of whom religiously follow it. Just three days ago, whilst we faced off against Freeport, the channel's Working Minority drama - about a hypothetical Tinhampton in 2027 where protracted coalition negotiations lead to a highly divided government, if it can be called that - drew in about fifteen thousand pairs of eager eyes, mine admittedly included. Sparking this rise might have been the hard sells or it might have been the squirmy converts, but it was certainly the footy!
Murkiness and controversy, however, remains the name of the game in the TinChannel company, chaired by the same Mr Nell who almost bought out Tinhampton's FA in 2013, was almost convicted of embezzlement two years later, and remains unabashedly hyper-capitalist as ever. The station has already presented joint coverage of the World Cup qualifiers and already holds shared rights to the final of the Cup of Harmony, so surely nothing could go wrong with having rights just for one game and just for the television whilst Piratin and Ford do their usual thing?
As it turns out, that in itself is a wrongful assumption. Swirl around twii.tur or micro.blog or Punch or whatever happens to be the preferred Tinhamptonian lunchtime brawl of choice and you will invariably find those angry at this move, arguing that this latest move will steer ever-so-many-more Tin City kids away from the football field and towards the gang badlands and even the manic world of PIN theft. These kinds of people vastly outnumber those who argue that this manouver will actually help grassroots football in Tinhampton, let alone those valiantly crusading against the loot boxes in Megaverse Sports' video games.
No matter what one thinks about the moral side of this affair, however, one thing is certain: The TFA need some wonga, and they need it as soon as possible. Having been sliding into bankruptcy at just shy of exponentiality ever since the Nell offer was turned down five years ago, selling television broadcast rights to the TinChannel - Tinhampton One over on radio has little interest in anything other than autotuned pop - could prove a major help to the brown and white, whether collectively or - dare I say it? - as a sole venture. "The Nellmeister" himself must be praying for a splendid rate of customer retention.

For the past twenty-eight years, Lydia Gould has written at the intersection of football and politics in Tinhampton, Gladom Newion, Neokarta, and Demanams, winning about five Tinhamptonian Columnist of the Year awards whilst at it. You may get in touch with her at lydiagould[AT]tinhamptonian.ti

If you have an article of between 500 and 800 words that you believe can inform and persuade, contact our editor at harryfarlane[AT]tinhamptonian.ti

by **Tinhampton** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:03 pm

OOC disclaimer: Writing this in the midst of a DDOS attack on NS which directly inspired this 'un, huh. You probably won't get this if you weren't on Discord an hour before time of going to press.

Information
You are not authorised to read Vox Antipopuli.
This may be caused by an adversely high level of pizza consumption by Rushmori. All Tinhamptonians are under orders not to spoil Mytanar jokes about Cocoabo Forest.

Connection info:
It's shit. You're fucked. The server's fucked.

Your I-Pee Address: The bog
Number of rubber chickens you must sacrifice: 1093
Location where lightning just struck twice: Tinhampton
Preferred flavour of utilitarianism: Cruel. All hail the Strong Turnip Pizza!

by **New Lusitania and the Algarves** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 7:16 am

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
Cup of Harmony 71

END OF THE LINE
Qusmo 1-0 New Lusitania @ Elements Stadium, Ponyville

PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIAN STATES -
A game in a town just outside the capital, hosted a great clash of New Lusitania against Qusmo. Patríce in goal with Guerreiros, Carriçe and Cancela in defence, Nevais in centre defensive midfield, Mário, Fernando and Gama in the middle of the park with Moreira further ahead. Silveira and Hélder Carvalho, with Qusmo fielding the usual suspects. Apologies to the nation of Qusmo if this does not represent the naming rules of their culture. The match was determined by a single goal, but it had a lot more drama. Cancela was forced off by Victor Santa Cruz after constantly trying to get into heater arguments and getting a booking. For that, Cédric came on. There were no shortage in chances, Carvalho hit the woodwork, and Silveira almost put them ahead if not for the goalkeeper. Qusmo also came close many times, with it culminating with the actual, inevitable goal ,The actual goal, came in at fifty five minutes of play, Gavax-Nenzi putting the ball through to Xilit-Zaxac, scoring in fenomenal fashion. New Lusitania attempted to equalise, Nevais hitting the bar from outside the box, but nothing of it. It was over. What a ride it had been since that first game in Central Shanesville. What a cycle, shame it didn't end more spectacularly. Either way, the Lusitanian team thanked both local and travelling fans for their support, acknowledging their efforts and support, and they reciprocated singing, with Qusmo already in the dressing rooms. A beautiful scene, showing the true passion of football.
FULL TIME: 1-0

Around the Grounds
In Cloudsdale, the Group A winners were crushed by Juvencus 1-4, Mytanija found themselves at a standstill against Geisenfried in Canterlot, at the Star Stadium. Completely goalless, the score ended in their favour, 1-0 after extra time. In Shady Grove, Abanhleft also drew against the Remnant States, two all at ninety minutes. However, the Remnant States scored one in Extra Time, progressing.
In Cassadaigua, Tinhampton continue to prove themselves, saw off South Toronto, a team who was efficient in the groups, with a 2-0 win. Savojarna could be considered a surprise, as the odds were in their favour, after the Main Nation Ministry bested them by 2 goals to 3, in Lakeland. In Concord Heights, Eastfield Lodge have been knocked out by Kelssek 0-1. Jeruselem had no trouble however, at seeing off Karuclija 5 goals to 1 in Brattleboro.
This leaves us with the Quarter Finals, in which Everfree hosts Juvencus against Mytanija, the tournament's surprise. New Lusitania would've played the Remanant States, but due to their loss, the S.R.S. will face Qusmo, in Stalliongrad. In New Lakeland, Tinhampton will play the Main Nation Ministry, surely a thriller. Kelssek meanwhile have been progressing, but that all may stop now that they play Jeruselem, a nation which has been on a high recently.

At the World Cup, four remain. We have reports that early this morning, hosts the Free Republics lost to South Covello, in Baseton by one lone goal. Vilita will play Turori this afternoon. As, the Third Place Match will be played this Evening in Banija, and the Final on Monday Night, Bank Holiday over in the host nation.

POST-MATCH INTERVIEWS and REACTIONS
I: Well, New Lusitania are out. What's your view on the game?
VSC: Well we played well, but it wasn't enough. We wasted a lot of chances, and, Qusmo took theirs well. You get punished for mistakes at this stage, and, well it's something we have to work on for the future.
I: What was your opinion on the Cup of Harmony's competitors at this point? Do you have any team in specific, that you think might make it?
VSC: This tournament is extremely levelled, and, some of the favourites have gone - Savojarna, Eastfield - we've had some surprises, like Mytanija. Honestly, I think Qusmo can go to final. Tinhampton can also go far, it's a different team from the one we played.
I: So, you're now off to Laeral for the 2nd IDU Championships, what can you expect?
VSC: Well, the IDU is an organisation that Internationally does not have a football presence. However, they do posess strong sides, and, anything can happen, really. The hosts, are one of the favourites and it will be interesting to see what happens.
I: Thanks, Victor.

RATINGS, AWARDS AND OPINIONS

LUS Ratings : Patríce 8, Guerreiros 7, Carriçe 7, Cancela 6 (Cédric 6.5), Nevais 7.5 , Mário 7, Fernando 8, Moreira 7.5 (Dalot 6.5) , Gama 8, Silveira 8 , Jota 8 OVERALL : 7
QUS Ratings: Xynat-Evela 9, Cunix-Betva 7, Zunon-Gerol 7.5, Yelto-Alfan 7, Yamaj-Blonz 8, Ilinix-Kepex 8, Gavax-Nenzi 7.5, Kynda-Sevet 8, Forzu-Ralox 8, Paliv-Xilit 7, Xilit-Zaxac 7.5. OVERALL: 8. 5

STATS (QUS/LUS)
Goals: 1/0
Shots: 8/6
Shots on Target: 5/6
Corners: 5/2
Fouls: 4/4
Cards - Yellow: 0/1
Cards - Red: 0/0
Posession: 55/45

THE HUB
Nothing to Report

GOALS: André Silveira (2), Gama (1), Jota (1), Nevais (1).
ASSISTS: Fernando (3), Cavalariça (1), Mário (1),
CARDS: Breu (1Y), Cancela (1Y)
INJURIES: Mário (Knock), Jota (Out - 2 weeks, Rest of Tournament)

World Cup Quals
Top Goalscorers: Silveira, Gama (11).
Assists: Fernando (9)

----------------------------------
MATCH PROGRAMMING

WC81
SF2: Vilita X Turori 15h STL1
Third Place Match 23h. STL 4
GRAND FINAL: South Covello X SF2Winner. MON 21h STL1

CoH73
Quarter-Finals
Tinhampton X M.N.Ministry 17h45 STL Sport2
Kelssek X Jeruselem 21h STL Sport4
Juvencus X Mytanija
Qusmo X S.R.S. STL Sport1
Semis & Final on STL 1
-----------------------------------
Matchday: Internationals
coverage of the best
STL1 22:00 GMT
-----------------------------------
World Cup 81, Cup of Harmony 73 & The IDU Championships
The best of the action on STL.
New Lusitania in exclusive.
-----------------------------------
#stl #forçaselecção #CoH73 #LUS
#QUSLUS #obrigado
----------------------------------
STL in association with FLF
MMXVIII

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:04 am

Three Things
Giant Killers, or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace Fleftic Tradition
Salwan Mynhier

Mr. Daror's wild ride goes on! I never want to get off! True to their word, the Revolutionaries of Abanhfleft have found a way to exit the tournament early, despite being by far the highest seed, and the Black-and-Reds reap the benefits. As if playing an entire extra match before the round of sixteen wasn't enough, this match needed extra time to decide. Like two of our group stage matches the score was knotted at 2 after 90 minutes, but improbable hero Vaarin Strepol scored the go-ahead goal early in the second period of extra time, and the Black-and-Reds hung on for the upset win.

Toppling the Top Seed
Under the lights of Shady Grove in Whitetail, two disparate teams emerged onto the field to see who would have the honor of advancing to the quarterfinals. The white and blue of Abanhfleft and the black and red of the Confederacy gleamed proudly from the shirts of both teams as they exited the tunnel. In a fairly bold decision, Lopal Daror made only one change to his lineup from the team that had faced Mattijana and Acronius, playing Djabgor Dzarkhin ahead of Danin Geladi at left back for a more defensive look. All* the experts had agreed, this match was a foregone conclusion. Abanhfleft, by all rights, were unlucky not to have made the World Cup, and the Confederacy was destined to simply be outclassed, the Black-and-Reds reduced to a footnote in the history of the Revolutionaries' run deep into the tournament.
* except a few self-deprecating memelords from Abanhfleft

To the surprise of no one at all, even those few predicting that we might give the top seed more of a run for their money, the match started with the Black-and-Reds playing conservatively, focused more on keeping their shape at the back than keeping possession or pushing forward. The Fleftics were only too happy to step into the space left in midfield, and it soon became clear that the Black-and-Reds had probably come out a little too conservative. Before long, it was desperate defending at the back, as the Revolutionaries fired crosses and through balls into the box. These attempts were from distance, but the service was consistently accurate. Oleb and Raktsov had to put in yeoman work to keep Dagen and Zima from getting on the end of any of anything dangerous. All the same, Munib had to be sharp to gather up a few loose balls, and could frequently be seen shouting instructions to the defense and midfield, often holding the ball for an extended period, trying to slow down play and allow his team to regroup.

Making significant changes to tactics and changing the run of play mid-game can be a difficult thing, however, and though the Black-and-Reds did manage a few attacks of their own, they were unable to sustain it, and never looked particularly likely to score. Rather, it was their opponents who seemed on the verge of converting, but always just a few inches away. In the 23rd minute, a lunging play by Tkermec intercepted a strong through ball intended for Zima that would've sent him in alone on goal. The clearance was hurried though, since the Fleftic striker was closing in fast as Tkermec regained his feet, and the ball only came out as far as Pearson. Before the defensive line could regain its shape, he played an arcing ball in for Dagen, who played it on the volley to beat Munib far side. The Black-and-Reds keeper was visibly upset, gesticulating wildly to the defense.

Munib's instructions, unfortunately, did not seem to improve the situation at the back, and Abanhfleft added another goal soon after. This time, the Confederates were caught on the counter, when superb anticipation by Zolnerov led to a turnover by Dzrenin. Zolnerov found Rory Edwards with a lead pass and the counter was on the other way. It was three-on-three, and Pearson elected to keep the ball, firing from distance before Oleb could close him down. Munib got a fingertip to the shot, but it wasn't enough, as it sprang off the inside of the post and into the back of the net. Munib was truly incensed at this point, and as the Revolutionaries celebrated with their fans, Damot and Oleb conversed briefly with him at the top of the box. We may never know exactly what was said, as the three declined to comment on it in detail post-match, but the Black-and-Reds looked more composed after the ensuing kickoff. Abanhfleft were still enjoying the majority of possession, but suddenly looked much less dangerous. Confederate players seemed to be in better position, and did a good job concentrating defenders at the point of attack without leaving obvious passes into space available.

The difficulty at this point was for a team that prefers to sit back that now had to chase the game and find two goals from somewhere. The transition game, therefore was crucial, and with Geladi on the bench, it depended largely on two men: Damot and Ulcviecel. The captain was the dependable, two-way player he usually is, but Ulcviecel, who has been fairly quiet for much of this year's tournament season seemed to have made it his personal mission to drag his team back even. Again, and again, he gathered the ball at the back and pushed forward, using his speed along the sideline to get by the Revolutionaries' centralized midfield. Marilungo, who is by nature more of a central midfielder was definitely struggling to contain Ulcviecel, especially with Zonde available to hold up play for the wing back. Just before half, the right wing attack broke through to pull the Confederacy within one. Ulcviecel got around Marilungo with pure speed, and then played a one-two with Zonde without breaking stride, allowing him to get by Ogigayatsu as well, as the Fleftic left back could not accelerate fast enough to stay with him. Curving his run into the box along the end line, Ulcivecel picked out Jzvanic with a hard, low pass, and the striker placed the ball perfectly, just inside the far post.

As the teams came back out after the break, it was immediately clear that Ranulph Bustamante had seen more than enough of the Volad Ulcviecel show. Taking Marilungo off, he sent a defenseman, Caleb Wayne on to play left midfield. (If the Revolutionaries had held on for the win we would doubtless be praising this shrewd use of Wayne's versatility as a wing back to add defensive capability to midfield). This adjustment did a lot to limit the Red-and-Blacks' use of the right wing, as Ulcivecel found himself more directly opposed, and was unable to find the same space and angles he had taken advantage of before. Abanhfleft, however, were unable to transition this into more dangerous attacks of their own. The Red-and-Blacks were able to move from relying on the right wing to playing through the middle of the field, and while this certainly proved less dynamic, it was effective in preventing the Revolutionaries from enjoying the same kind of dominance they had early on.

Everything changed, however, in the 66th minute. Ulcviecel and Zonde were attempting another overlapping run down the side, and Wayne disrupted the play with a crunching tackle on Zonde just as he received the ball. While the play was certainly a foul, no one expected the referee to produce a straight red card. As and incredulous Wayne left the field and his teammates surrounded the referee, Zonde also had to end his evening, unable to put much weight on his ankle. Lopal Daror sent Vrenz Tambura on to fill the gap a minute later, doubtless with instructions to resume the attack up the wing. With Abanhfleft shorthanded, defense of the wing in midfield fell to Zolnerov. Since he was responsible for nearly half the field, and vacating the middle would leave Damot and Dzrenin free, he often had to concede the wing to Ulcviecel, as the Revolutionaries shifted into a defensive posture, hoping to hang on for the last 25 minutes and escape to the quarterfinals without extra time.

The Black-and-Reds shattered that dream less than ten minutes after Wayne's sending off. Ulcviecel drew Ogigayatsu far out toward the corner before playing a diagonal pass to Tambura at the corner of the box. Tambura in turn played the ball square to Damot, who fired back against the grain, curling the ball into the top corner. While the Black-and-Reds pressed forward, trying themselves to avoid extra time, they could not find another goal before full time, though Daror brough Geladi on in the 85th to help utilized the other wing as well. Bustamante made a change of his own, bringing the veteran Kevin Kelvin on for Vitali Zima, who had been largely invisible for long stretches of the second half. The first half of extra time was a cagey affair, as both sides were careful. The Confederates controlled most of play, but the shorthanded Fleftics managed a few counterattacks, enough for Daror to bring the exhausted Dzrenin off for Strepol after ten minutes. At half time in extra time, Bustamante made his third change to bring on fresh legs as well, replacing Zolnerov with Vincelot.

Three minutes into the second half of extra time, Ulcivecel broke loose again. Vladcik had misplaced a centering pass intended for Strepol, but Damot, dropping back, intercepted the breakout and found Ulcviecel already far forward. The defense were outnumbered, and Ulcivecel launched a cross into the box. Strepol's size and strength let let him control the ball from his chest while shielding against Gibson and the power on his shot made it impossible to stop from such close range. As the Confederate end of the stands exploded into chaotic celebration, both managers cued up substitutions for the next stoppage in play. For Bustamante, Gibson came off, making way for attacking midfielder Omar el Salah, while Daror brought striker Jzvanic off for Shrike Hagaz, adding another enforcer to his midfield. Shorthanded, and facing a team keeping all ten outfielder players behind the ball with less than ten minutes before stoppage time, Abanhfleft faced an impossible task, and swarming Black-and-Red shirts closed off every avenue of attack they tried. As the final whistle sounded, the Revolutionaries and their fans sat in stunned silence, while at the other end of the field it was pure bedlam. Like the Kelcheks, we are also not coming home.

Abanhfleft                2 - 3  Squornshelan Remnant States AET (2-2 AFT)
Dagen (Pearson) 23'              Jzvanic (Ulcviecel) 44'
R. Edwards (Zolnerov) 31'        Damot (Tambura) 74'
                                 Strepol (Ulcviecel) 108'

Venue: Shady Grove (cap. 43,650), Whitetail, EQS

ABF (4-3-1-2): Cohen; Ogigayatsu, Gibson (el Salah 111'), L. Edwards, Afolayan; Marilungo (Wayne 45'), Zolnerov (Vincelot 105'), Pearson; R. Edwards; Dagen, V. Zima (Kelvin 90')
SRS (5-4-1): Munib; Dzarkhin (Geladi 85'), Raktsov, Oleb, Tkermec, Ulcviecel; Vladcik, Dzrenin (Strepol 100'), Damot, Zonde (Tambura 67'); Jzvanic (Hagaz 111')

Up next, it's Qusmo, a team that plays as defensively as we do and likely to overload the midfield. They've been one of the most consistent teams at the Cup of Harmony to this point, and will be another big challenge for the Black-and-Reds. Up next, I'll take a look at how we measure up, as well as the other three quarterfinal matches.

A Look Around the Quarterfinals
Interestingly, all of the Quarterfinalists are from just four Groups. No teams from Groups A, D, F, and G made it past the Round of 16. Instead we have Qusmo and Juvencus from Group B, the Confederacy and Mytanija from Group C, Kelssek and Tinhampton from Group E, and Jeruselem and Main Nation Ministry from Group H. Upsets has also abounded, as the Confederacy, Mytanija, Kelssek, and Main Nation Ministry all saw off higher ranked opposition to reach this stage. While it would be easy to pick against those four sides, they proved last round that they are not to be underestimated.

Qusmo (57) v Squornshelan Remnant States (99)
Relying solely on class and world ranking, one might expect this match to actually be slightly easier than our previous matchup with Abanhfleft. This tournament, however, has proven to be one where form trumps class, and any player will tell you that once you reach the knockout rounds, there are no easy matches. The Qusmi'y have been on excellent form, taking full points from the group stage and keeping a clean sheet against Lusitania and the Algarves in their second round match. Combine that with the fact that the Black-and-Reds have played 120 more minutes of football than their opponents and you have a recipe for the end of our run. I predict a valiant, but ultimately unsuccessful effort.
Prediction: Qusmo 2-1 Squornshelan Remnant States

Juvencus (33) v Mytanija (120)
With Abanhfleft and Savojarna both falling at the second hurdle, Juvencus are the highest seed remaining in the tournament, while Mytanija are tied for lowest seed. We should not forget, however, that Mytanija were the only team in Group C to earn a win. Their defense has been solid, and they saw off die Steinadler in extra time to advance to this point. Juvencus will be their toughest opposition at the CoH yet, and looked impressive in dispatching 52nd ranked Taeshan by a score of 4-1.
Prediction: Juvencus 2-1 Mytanija AET

Tinhampton (56) v Main Nation Ministry (81)
The closest matchup on paper. Tinhampton looked very capable in a clean sheet victory against South Toronto, while Main Nation Ministry had more a fight on their hands, but managed to outscore Savojarna, the top seed on the Cassadaiguan side of the bracket. Main Nation Ministry also managed an upset win in matchday one against Jeruselem, a team of similar stature to their quarterfinal opponents. For Tinhampton, it's been smooth sailing to this point, which may prove to be their downfall if they get caught looking past this match.
Prediction: Tinhampton 1-1 Main Nation Ministry (3-4 on PKs)

Kelssek (120) v Jeruselem (54)
The Princesses are thriving in the matriarchal aura of Cassadaigua, either that or they're just plain good at football. Their 5-1 victory over Karulicja was the most lopsided of the second round, and it's very difficult to see Kelssek presenting them with much more of a challenge, despite the impressive upsets they've notched to this point. Now is also as good a time as ever to mention that in addition to several World Cup meeting with Jeruselem, we have met the Princesses in the Cup of Harmony when competing as part of Squornshelous, losing in extra time in the quarterfinals of Cup of Harmony 6, a tournament in which Jeruselem would eventually be runners-up. Despite all this pointing in favor of Jeruselem, I want to hear songs next year about the lost generation of Kel-cheks who never came home.
Prediction: Kelssek 2-1 Jeruselem

Transfer Prospects: Ups and Downs
Ok, I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting to have more than four "Transfer Prospects" blurbs to write, so I had to scramble for something to put in this one. The list this time, therefore, consists of a look at the other relegated and promoted clubs that are likely to see personnel changes during the transfer window. AC Damogran were already discussed during out tour of Algolia, but there are three other sides changing leagues this offseason.

Also, I will now apparently have to come up with at least one more of these write-ups, so who the hell knows what I'll talk about next time.

United Football Club of Flamarion
UFC were the worst team in League 1 last year, and the drop in revenues that comes along with relegation could have a significant impact on their ability to retain star players, to say nothing of the fact that some of those players will likely want a chance to rejoin League 1 with a new club. The intelligent thing to do would be to sell off a few high paid veterans and invest in youth to rebuild the club. With their fanbase in a large Brantid city, Flamarion are better off financially than many League 2 sides, and can survive a few years of mediocrity. Goalkeeper Djor Lohani will probably lead the exodus, as at 29 he has no wish to spend the rest of his prime outside of the top flight. Pacy, 27-year-old attacking midfielder Jaeduke Arwin is another player likely to leave.

Golgafrincham City Football Club
The other relegated club, Golgafrincham look more financially able to weather their time outside the top flight than Flamarion, but some of their players may be looking for a way back into League 1 next year. There will likely be a few new faces around, but not so many as in Flamarion. Zelso Cervkle, the 25-yeard-old Molvanian left wing that Golgafrincham poached from non-league side Sjerezo Independent is unlikely to stay, however, having said in a recent interview that he did not leave his home state to get relegated. Another possible casualty of Golgafrincham's relegation could be local boy Bedros Torluk. Once regarded as the future face of the club, the 26-year-old center back needs a new contract this offseason and is due for a serious raise. While the fans will be outraged, I would be very surprised if he agrees to sign with Golgafrincham when the fee for the right to negotiate with him would go a long way toward sustaining them through their stay in lower leagues.

Sivolvia Central Athletic Club
Central would've been the darlings of League 2 were it not for the ridiculous season that AC Damogran had. They were the strongest club in the second half of the season, picking up five points on the league leaders and generally looking like wolves among sheep as the only League 2 side to reach the 80 goal mark. Central have never been the richest club, however, and the boost to their revenue from being promoted may not be enough for them to resist the lure of top-dollar offers for their standouts like 28-year-old CAM Keshav Rallinaitis. Goalkeeper Nyoman Shudet is another player that larger clubs are likely eyeing, but letting him go would be a sure signal that Central don't really believe they can compete in League 1 for long, as they'll be all but certain to finish near the bottom of the table without him.

Until next time, I'm Salwan, you're not. Keep reading.

Squornshelan Remnant States Cup of Harmony 73 Schedule:
MD1: Squornshelan Remnant States 2-2 Acronius (Manehattan Industrial Park, Manehattan, EQS)
MD2: Squornshelan Remnant States 0-0 Mytanija (Elements Stadium, Ponyville, EQS)
MD3: Mattijana 2-2 Squornshelan Remnant States (Manehattan Industrial Park, Manehattan, EQS)
P/O: Acronius 2-4 Squornshelan Remnant States (Derby Field, Manehattan, EQS)
2nd: Abanhfleft 2-3 Squornshelan Remnant States (2-2 AFT) (Shady Grove, Whitetail, EQS)
QF: Qusmo v Squornshelan Remnant States (Diamond Park, Stalliongrad, EQS)

by **Tinhampton** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:37 am

OOC: This should have been posted before my third group stage game against Freeport, but you got "Rachel Coltfield's Top 1093 Tips" instead! Perhaps I should be a bit less sluggish next time

Forays of Folly
Series 1, Episode 21: Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

FINAL RESULTS OF THE MAYORAL ELECTION:

Name of Candidate	Round 1 votes, 1st October	Round 2 votes, 3rd October	Round 3 votes, 5th October
DAVIS, Vanessa (FDP)	15	ELIMINATED	ELIMINATED
HOWARD, Saffron (UCP)	17	23	YOUR NEXT MAYOR!
STEER, Daniel (TLP)	23	26	Abstained
WRIGHT, Kevin (UCP)	19	22	ELIMINATED
Abstentions/Could Not Vote	3	6	not applicable

I. E. JACKSON'S NEWSAGENTS, TINHAMPTON, 4th OCTOBER 2018
"Yes, one bag of crisps for a good... eighty cents or thereabouts? Yes, this is the Herald for a dollar and I don't expect much back in the way of spare change..."
The possibility had been hoofed around several media outlets, notably The Tinhamptonian and... erm, Vox Antipopuli. Surely Daniel Steer had no chance of surrendering, surely? With a small cross-section of the world and very few others watching, a bench in the dense and pedestrianised areas of Tinhampton city centre could hardly be the kind of place for one of the most influential meetings in Tinhamptonian history. But then again, this was Current Year.
We may never know if the surviving Libertarian candidate was convincing himself that the race had necessarily been won, lost, uninfluencable or even called off, although the latter was unsurprisingly a nondescript possibility. For the next thirty seconds, that is. "I've come under the impression we meet again," opened Steer almost immediately, "tomorrow at noon or thereabouts. I would suppose that the whole tribal shenanigans will remain unsurpassable, unmeetable... I've forgotten the word for the thingy, waaaaargh!"
"Oh... I can understand that much," shrugged Howard. "This isn't the kind of situation we need to get involved in, mind you!"
"And why would that be?" inquired her opponent, not long after the heavens had mildly commenced splitting into two upon the estuary of the River Tin.
"It appears... that our policies, so to speak, are remarkably similar."
"For instance?"
"Well, both of us support reductions in taxation... business deregulation... employing welfare claimants... and we certainly agreed not to put ourselves at the whim of some imperial tyrants! You know what the specifics in this matter are by now."
Steer was literally nodding along to each and every point when he finally pleaded "Couldn't I at least surrender now? Or is that not the appro---"
A good, proper handshake was agreed to this extent. "Want to have some?" asked Howard, perhaps not realising what exactly Steer had signed up to. Funny how life can turn around when you least expect it to, huh?

A MODERATELY ANTIQUATED PUB IN NEW LAKELAND, CASSADAIGUA, 10th OCTOBER 2018
"Yeah, that looks like two Proper Miner's for twenty-odd quarters. What, I don't have enough? Oh, I was under the impression I wanted six-point-six ABV - not stronk factor, you bastard, alcohol by volume*, that's only ten..."
Meanwhile, in Cassadaigua, Tinhampton's strategy had either turned confusing or a bit stale, with no possibility inbetween for the Condottieri to panic about. For the first time since... well, probably Jamie Valley giving Estrella Hawke the finger at Tin Park** ("I wanted to show those bastards what Tinhamptonians were really made of!"), probably the win over Audioslavia ("This is the greatest day of Mohamed's life, but I'm not entirely sure it's going to remain like this forever"), the Miners had certainly escaped the harassment and bullying of the Herald for what felt like the first time in quite a while.
Ironically enough, Julia Atherton had already amassed quite the reputation since what also felt like several cycles, but was scarcely - imminently - interested in sparking up Tinhamptonian International Incident number one thousand and ninety-three hypergazillion. She had ordered one for herself, of course, but suspected she might have wasted her time and money in haggling for a second one - perhaps out of national pride, perhaps out of... wait, was that a zebra?
Atherton, as one would expect, went over to the table, slid over the other pint in the general direction of the alleged monochrome splodge, and noted: "Hmmm... I suppose we have something--somethings in common." There was nothing in response.
She then gradually snuck out a copy of the Herald's back page from a couple of weeks prior, blaring THAT'S US FOR ANOTHER ROUND! Tinhampton 'keeper Atherton "appears to slap" Zack Pierce in sorry Dagan defeat. "That face reminds me of somebody," came a voice from not so far away. Was it, really, given that Tinhampton and Freeport had never played against each other, let alone sound anywhere near like familiar nations, or can we just blame the similarity of the pictures for it?
"Yes, I think we have a few things in common," noted Atherton. "Both of us are ladies, goalkeepers that happen to captain the team..."
"Ooooh, yes, and I've been informed that both of us could well have a bright future ahead!" added Kukiri almost immediately afterwards.
"This match? It won't hinge on the result of that, but perhaps we need to look a bit farther ahead into the future than that..."
"...Yes, like the inevitable defeat you'll suffer at our hooves in some unknown World Cup qualification cycle in the future!"
"Yeah, I know, right? And then we'll have to find ourselves, let's just say winning a lot more to counter that one! We already have the group secured in the here and now, the result's going to be meaningless but we'll need to win this one, of course!"
"Now, the only thing we need here," concurred Kukiri, "is to win against you lot, Beepee should hopefully win also by a smaller margin... yes, those look like good possibilities! And what else, exactly, are you dreaming of?"
"Erm... exponential growth."
"Here's to that, then!" Right there and then, the golden bitter suddenly started to vanish into the digestive system, and thus followed much drinking and laughter and general drunken behaviour and other such mundane whatsits that I shall not bother to elaborate upon here. For the record, Tinhampton logged one shot on target in both of those games.

*OOCly a shitty knockoff of Dunelm's "Not snuggle factor, tog!" radio advert over here in Britannia, except with much more context and irrelevance, haha!
**Yes, captain, I be making up tidbits of Tinhampton's sporting histories as we go along here, me hearties! YAAAAAAR! What do you do with a drunken player...

we'll see when the time comes anyhoo

by **Cassadaigua** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 5:01 pm

Let's start the Quarterfinals!

Cup of Harmony 73
Groups E-H :: Quarterfinals Results

Tinhampton 2-1 Main Nation Ministry

at New Lakeland Stadium in New Lakeland, CDG

Kelssek 1-2 Jeruselem

at Concord Heights Stadium in Concord Heights, CDG

Groups E-H :: Semifinal

Tinhampton vs Jeruselem

at Concord Heights Stadium in Concord Heights, CDG

by **Mytanija** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:16 pm

OCOKOLJIC ON-TARGET TO SEE HOOPS THROUGH
DRAMA IN EXTRA TIME IN CANTERLOT AS THE HEART-ATTACK INDUCING HOOPS CONTINUE TO QUARTER FINALS; JUVENCUS NEXT

by Nevenka Planinc

MYTANIJA 0-0 GEISENFRIED (1-0 AET)
MYT: Ocokoljic 116’
GEI: n/a

MYT (120): 1. Savic; 13. Vukovic, 14, Anac, 4. Obadko, 5. Isaev; 18. Brkljacic, 7. Todorov (C) (sub. Elvahic 68’), 6. Fejzuli (sub. Stojkovic 80’); 10. Odonelec; 9. Ocokoljic, 11. Aleksic (sub. Zekic 76’)

GEI (107): 1. Wieser; 3. Ziegler, 4. Lindström, 5. Ostmark, 2. Schneider; 6. Metzger (sub. Hahnemann 60’), 8. Mertens; 11. Löwenthal, 10. Eichel (C), 7. Jaeger (sub. Riesz 76’); 9. Thiessen (sub. Sondheim 84’)

In homes across Mytanija people could barely watch their screens. The nervousness was palpable as the Hoops were pinned back late in extra time, the Geisen team launching wave after wave of attacks to try and break down the fiercely regimented Mytanar back-line that had held firm for 115 minutes of football. The ninety minutes had been even, with both teams giving a good account of themselves and enjoying periods where they were dominating the game. Extra time had been a different story as the Geisen midfield began to hold onto the ball a little better against some tired legs – even substitutes Stojkovic and Elvahic looked leggy – the Hoops had run themselves into the ground in the final few minutes of normal time looking for a winner that didn’t come.

Riesz had the ball out on the right flank and dribbled towards Vukovic before flicking the ball inside to Eichel who played a slightly under-hit pass back out towards the young winger. Vukovic – although visibly exhausted – summoned up strength enough to turn and poke the ball away before Riesz could get to it. The ball rolled to Jezdimir Ocokoljic who was – unusually – well inside the Mytanar half of the field given Geisenfried’s dominance of possession and territory. Ocokoljic then produced a moment of magic that would not have looked out of place in a Robin Hjik highlight reel.

He dribbled from within his own half past Schneider, then taking out both Mertens and Hahnemann just inside the Mytanar half with a step-over and body swerve. He passed the halfway line at breakneck speed, the ball seemingly glued to his foot. Ostmark backed off, not wanting to commit to tackling the young forward who had caused him a few problems earlier in the game and give away a late set-piece that the Hoops could potentially take advantage of. This proved to be a costly decision – a professional foul and free kick may not have led to a goal like this run eventually did.

Ocokoljic beat Ostmark for pace, poking the ball past him and running onto it with the centre-half only able to lumber at his side as the diminutive striker sped away. He then began to cut back towards goal as he neared the penalty area with Oskar Lindström trying his utmost to get on terms with Ocokoljic so that he might at least try and tackle him. He couldn’t do it and Ocokoljic approached goal, head up and eyes firmly fixed on the Geisen goalkeeper – Wieser – bearing down on him. Ocokoljic feinted to shoot before poking the ball the other way, leaving Wieser in a heap on the floor and slotted the ball into the empty net. 1-0 with just over four minutes to play in extra time.

The Geisen team were completely deflated. Captain Stefan Eichel held his head in his hands, it was his poor pass that led to the goal following Vukovic’s interception, and Oskar Lindström had fallen to his knees as soon as Ocokoljic had rounded the goalkeeper.

For his part, Ocokoljic wheeled away, sprinting towards the corner where the Mytanar fans were going berserk. Several large flags had inadvertently been thrown down the sector as some fans celebrated, accidentally letting go and launching them towards other supporters below. Not too many cared, they were celebrating too, with the rush of fans towards the bottom of the section being visible on television as Ocokoljic ran over. Whether there will be any punishment for potentially dangerous fan behaviour for the FSM to deal with remains to be seen.

The rest of the team sprinted to celebrate with the young forward, the entire bench too, only the coaching staff were left on the side-line as Hjik and Repin embraced, Hjik punching the air in the same manner he had done when he scored the late goal to win the 56th Cup of Harmony. This goal came even later, although many in the media have been quick to draw parallels between the two, Hjik did comment that Ocokoljic’s goal “hasn’t won us anything yet”, with a wry smile. Ocokoljic’s goal came a minute later than Hjik’s against the same opposition in the qualifying play-off in World Cup 62, more parallels between the two players can be drawn, it seems.

There had been less tactical tinkering with the team this time around as Geisenfried’s 4-2-3-1 forced our midfield and full backs to hold their positions. Vukovic couldn’t wander up the field quite as much as he had against Acronius and Brkljacic was important as he kept close to Eichel at all times. The defence was impressive and in the first-half, Mytanija were the better team. The counter-attacking style that was moderately successful during qualifying worked quite well against a Geisen team that – whilst full of technical quality – often looked devoid of ideas in the opening 45 minutes.

Odonelec had a good half, operating in the hole and causing problems with a degree of regularity for both Metzger and Mertens, neither knew which should pick him up and his constant movement exacerbated this misunderstanding. He received a strong pass from Brkljacic under pressure from them both and a quick Cruyffian style turn saw him speed away, beating them both. The resulting shot stung the palms of goalkeeper Jonas Wieser and Aleksic’s rebound was only prevented from going in by a top-class reflex save from the Heimüller SC club man.

Talk going into the game was actually about how Ocokoljic and Aleksic hadn’t been too great as a partnership in the Cup of Harmony. Many had expected them to continue to build on their developing partnership that began towards the latter end of World Cup qualifying, but neither had really hit the ground running in the second-tier competition. Ocokoljic in particular had not looked his normal self, but the pair combined well on the half-hour mark with a quick one-two giving Ocokoljic a clear sight of goal only to be denied by another fine save from Jonas Wieser – who looked to be in excellent form given the strength of his first-half performance.

At the other end, Jasmin Savic had not had too much to do but just before half-time he was called into action and he acquitted himself excellently. Rudi Löwenthal, the man many had talked-up as the major danger man for Geisenfried prior to the game, had the ball out on the left-flank. Many pundits had been worried about the Königs FC winger in the same way they had been worried about Acronius’ Antoine Le Kervelec, something which doesn’t represent a lack of faith in our right-sided full-back Petr Isaev, but more the quality of these two opponents. Isaev did well against Le Kervelec and for the post part did well against Löwenthal, but he allowed the Geisen winger to wriggle free of his attention here.

Löwenthal went past Isaev with a nice bit of skill and crossed in deep, towards the back post where Kieran Thiessen – the man with 8 goals in 19 appearances for the Geisen national team – had drifted. Mojmir Anac had slightly lost Thiessen as the ball had been crossed in and could only watch as the forward nodded the ball back across goal, Savic scrambled desperately and just about managed to get a bear-like glove to the ball and swat it away.

In the same way as Mytanija had been on-top for the majority of the first period, Geisenfried were in the second. They started the second-half as they had finished the first, getting the ball out to Rudi Löwenthal out on the left wing. He was starting to become more effective, too, getting crosses in more regularly and even managing to find space enough to launch a few efforts on goal – although the first couple were off-target.

Brkljacic was forced to swap to a more central position in order to shield Anac and Obadko a little more – the Hoops hadn’t felt Azanovic’s absence up until this point, although as the game went on you could tell his experience may have kept the defensive line a little higher up the field. The amount of preparation Lev Repin does with the defence was clear to see however, as despite the deep position, they were constantly level and still playing in a well-organised manner, catching the Geisen forwards offside a few times.

The momentum had changed in the game, though, and Kieran Thiessen got another clear sight of goal after a lovely ball from Stefan Eichel threaded between Anac and Obadko found the striker. Thiessen took one touch and fired an effort at goal and Jasmin Savic was left stranded. The Atletik goalkeeper didn’t move a centimetre and was only saved by the woodwork, the ball rattled off it, bouncing out to Obadko who cleared emphatically. Immediately Savic was yelling at his centre-halves to stay closer together and at the midfielders who hadn’t closed Eichel down and had allowed the pass to be played in the first place.

Hahnemann had entered the fray on the hour mark and Hjik introduced Mehmet Elvahic a few minutes later as the effort levels were beginning to show and both sides tried to reassert control of the midfield with fresh legs.

Geisenfried would continue on-top though and after Eichel drew a clumsy foul from Fejzuli, the midfielder getting a yellow card for his troubles, it looked like a really good opportunity for them to get ahead in the game. The free kick was fairly central, about 25 yards out and it looked like a gilt-edged chance for Löwenthal, who is after all a renowned free kick specialist. He stepped up and hit the ball with dip and curve and this time it was tipped over the crossbar by Savic at full stretch. It was perhaps Savic’s finest save in his Hoops career and if he had not got a touch on the ball it would have been a definite goal, almost a perfect free kick as well.

There was a flurry of substitutions as the game neared ten minutes to go and Stojkovic and Zekic coming on for Mytanija seemed to give the team a renewed impetus. They chased every ball and the message Hjik had sent on with them was clear, he wanted to try and get the game won before extra time and further tiredness set in. Zekic got a chance from a deep cross from Vukovic as he powered a header towards goal, Wieser continued his solid performance with a good save. There was not going to be a late winner for either side.

The black-top and sunglasses-clad capo at the front of the Mytanar section was waving his arms frantically as he directed the supporters in their chants. The noise emitted was – as always – astonishing and caused hairs to stand on end. If the capo had looked less menacingly prone to violence and had been dressed in the formalwear commonly seen in the opera houses of Prizren and similarly artsy places he could have been conducting an orchestra rather than the travelling Mytanar fans. Alas, the tattoos and bulging muscles were a giveaway anyway.

On the pitch, the team were similarly frantic as they hurried around trying to win the ball back from the Geisen players. Geisenfried were again on-top, keeping the ball well and creating half-chances. The Mytanar defence did well to allow them nothing more than that though, with it being clear that they had perhaps worked on situations like this where they were tired – both in their legs and in their mind. Hjik had discussed running extra time drills at the end of ordinary training sessions when the players were tired to simulate the real thing and it was seemingly paying off here as tired Mytanar bodies constantly found a way to put themselves between the ball and the goal, blocking shots and putting their bodies on the line.

The first period of extra time finished in this way, with Geisenfried dominant but unable to create anything too clear cut and this was good enough for the Mytanar team. Robin Hjik could be seen speaking passionately to the players, willing them on during the extra-time half-time interval. Some could barely stand, Odonelec in particular struggled with cramp.

The next ten minutes went by slowly, the seconds crawled by with the Mytanars looking dead on their feet and just about holding on to the 0-0. Many Mytanar journalists were hoping just to get to penalties, one colleague commenting that that was the only chance we had and it was just after that that Jezdimir Ocokoljic produced the moment of magic that sent us through to the quarter finals.

The celebrations were wild and well deserved as it had been a quietly impressive performance – as most of the games have been for the Hoops (although some would argue that 1 win and 3 draws in normal time tells a different story). It also marked the moment that Ocokoljic came alive in this tournament as he has been slightly under-par in the tournament so far, the opener versus Mattijana notwithstanding. It was his first goal and what a time to get it.

Ratings.

Starting XI.

1. 1. Savic – 8/10. Made some crucial stops in this game, notably from Löwenthal, but also from Thiessen and Eichel. Savic has had a good tournament with the team and may be staking a claim for the starting job for the long term. Many have said Pedja Kasun is ready to take over, but given his form at the minute, Savic does not look anywhere near ready to let that happen. Also would have been an extremely proud day for the goalkeeper as he was given the captain’s armband once Todorov was substituted.

13. Vukovic – 8/10. Another solid performance from Vukovic. He has come into the side and really impressed in this tournament and Tihomir Feric must be slightly worried about getting the starting role back. Didn’t contribute as much in attack this time around but was very good defensively, keeping Jaeger and Riesz quiet and was made the pivotal interception on Eichel’s pass which Ocokoljic then took up the other end and scored from.

14. Anac – 7/10. A good performance from Anac, only at fault once defensively when he lost Thiessen, but the resulting header didn’t end up being a goal and that is the key thing. A very mature player despite his early years, evidenced by his game intelligence, he knows when a foul can be made to disrupt the opposition’s play without gaining too much attention from the referee. That sort of gamesmanship could serve the team well in knockout football.

4. Obadko – 7/10. A good performance from Obadko too (along with the whole defence, really!), he was perhaps at fault for allowing there to be too much space between himself and Anac for Thiessen’s chance that rattled the post. As the more experienced of the centre-half partnership he should have kept an eye on that. Was good in the air and made a few important interceptions too.

5. Isaev – 7/10. Mr. Reliable is Mr. Reliable. When Isaev plays at less than a 7/10 it is a noteworthy occasion. This was not one of those occasions, what else is there to say?

18. Brkljacic – 7/10. Brkljacic was good today, asked to change role slightly in the second-half when Geisenfried began to enjoy more of the possession and were starting to cause problems in the middle. He dealt with this minor tactical change well and shielded the defence expertly. Comments from Hjik post-game were positive about Brkljacic and that bodes well for his chances of starting in future tournaments – along with the next game, of course.

7. Todorov – 6/10. Did okay today, was effective in the first-half as he caused the Geisen central midfield pair problems when he bombed on because they were already twisted in knots by Jasno Odonelec and Todorov gave them something else to think about. In the second-half he couldn’t really affect the game going forward but held his position well. Eventually substituted off for the more conservative Elvahic.

6. Fejzuli – 5/10. Was good in the first-half, as most of the Hoops were, but again couldn’t affect the game in the second period as the Geisen team gathered momentum. Was okay defensively barring a rush of blood to the head which earned him a yellow card, if the free kick had ended up in the goal it would have also earned him an ear bashing off the coaches.

10. Odonelec – 6/10. Really effective in the opening 45 minutes as he twisted both Metzger and Mertens in knots. When the team were out of possession he pressed well but couldn’t do too much going forward, naturally.

9. Ocokoljic – 8/10. Man of the Match. Got the winner in extra time, a goal which drew comparisons with Robin Hjik. It wasn’t exactly a Hjikesque performance from Ocokoljic though, he was better than he has been in the last couple of games but looked slightly off-form still. The goal showed that that may be changing though, a truly world class run and finish that must be earning him admirers from across the multiverse. How long Crvena Zvezda can hold onto the starlet is questionable – but does he have a desire to leave?

11. Aleksic – 4/10. Aleksic has been poor in the Cup of Harmony generally and although his link-up play was useful in the first-half he has really flattered to deceive in this tournament. His goal scoring record is better than any other striker that has been partnered with Ocokoljic but Hjik and Repin must be starting to consider formations that only employ one striker as Aleksic may soon be out of favour too.

Substitutes.
8. Elvahic – 6/10. Did well when he came into things and added a bit more defensive stability. A steady performance from Elvahic who has become a valuable member of the team as he’s able to perform a few different roles both from the start and off the bench. This was the latter and he did alright once again.

19. Stojkovic – 5/10. This rating is perhaps more an indication of a poor substitution than any fault on Stojkovic’s part, he was not poor by any stretch of the imagination but he looked like a square peg in a round hole when he came on for Fejzuli. Normally this would be a good change as the two players are similar – both creative and able to affect the game when going forwards, but we didn’t need creativity at that point in the game we needed stability. Madar should perhaps have come on. Stojkovic did contribute in the final ten minutes of normal time though, when Mytanija were going hell-for-leather to try and end the game before extra time. The issue was obvious again in extra time when Geisenfried were dominant though and a more defensive presence was needed.

22. Zekic – 7/10. Was good when he came on really, was fending off scraps up front, but he held his own defensively. The big striker was valuable to have on the field when Geisenfried had set pieces late in the game and in extra time and he got his head on the ball a couple of times to clear. Showed that you don’t always have to score as a striker to have a good game.

NEXT UP:
Juvencus (33): The highest ranked team that we will have played up until this point, Juvencus are a team that should perhaps be wondering why they are in the Cup of Harmony at all, such is the quality in their squad. Now that they are here, they will be hoping to win it and an emphatic 4-1 victory over Taeshan in the round of sixteen showed that they mean business. They are a team that often says ‘whatever’ when it comes to defending – they are even known as ‘Gli Attaccanti’ or ‘the attackers’! Their gung-ho approach has resulted in them scoring 9 goals through their 4 games so far (compared to our efficient 1 goal a game), they did however finish 2nd in their group behind the impressive Qusmi’y and the Hoops won theirs.

This could be the end of the road for Mytanija, they’re playing a team ranked 87 places higher than them and Juvencus are a team that only narrowly missed out on qualification to the World Cup proper – dealt with in the play-off by Audioslavia, a team that is so experienced at that top-level. Another win would represent another upset though and this team is starting to find a knack for creating upsets. Here’s hoping the Hoops manage another one.

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:20 pm

Non-Fiction: Demiurge

Dennis Aldridge didn't spare any time getting to the studios. His children were in danger and he needed to save them from whoever kidnapped them. The kidnapper didn't seem to ask for a ransom, but they told of death being the punishment for not attending the meeting. Dennis did maintained his stress, not wanting to sound alarmed, as he was passing by through the checkpoints to get to Sector 79. Triumph Seashell Studios was a simple set of warehouse-looking buildings near the docks, which was useful, since the studio tends to have underwater or perhaps speedboat chases filmed here for upcoming propaganda action movies. At the security post, Aldridge had to make up a convincing lie. "I'm here to examine the quality of the sets for the Azerty movie." Dennis said. "Azerty movie? They having that in production?" the soldier at the post said. "Yes, I was invited over here to see and determine the best filming location for the movie."

The lie seemed to have worked, however Dennis was stuck with a soldier escorting him and breathing down his neck. As he entered one of the sound stages, he noticed that one of the sets that was inside was a house that looked eerily similar to his own. "What set is that?" Dennis asked the soldier, escorting him. "That is supposed to be for a sitcom pilot. Isn't anything in there, despite the large amount of detail in it." "I need to go in there. I could have the inside of the house be changed for the movie, if the pilot fails." Dennis said, which the soldier decided to lead him in the house. The inside of the house was completely different that his own house, where Dennis passed by a grand piano, before seeing some stairs going down into the basement. The two entered the basement to see a door at the end of the room. "What is that?" Dennis referred to the door, as he realized he saw it in one of his own dreams. "That leads to the maintenance tunnels. Nothing important in there."
"I need to go inside."
"Sir, that isn't permitted. It's against regulations."
"I need to do it for the movie."
"Sir, I can tell you there is nothing in there that is of importan-"

BOOM!

The temperature of the room changed, as the floor above them seemed to start glowing a bright orange color. The soldier was distracted to run upstairs to see that the grand piano has somehow exploded in a fireball. The fire alarm had gone off, where the soldier can hear another explosion that seemed to have came from the other sound stage. "Mr. Aldridge, we need to get out of here before-" the soldier yelled where he saw that Aldridge had ran into the maintenance tunnels. Inside the tunnels, the fire alarm was still going off, where the sprinklers had been set off, causing Aldridge to be drenched. Aldridge ran as fast as he could down the tunnel, knowing his children were here somewhere. Then, almost at the end of the hall, he heard the voice of one of his children screaming for help. "Simon?! Is that you!?" Dennis yelled at the top of his lungs. "Daddy! Help!" the sound of Simon was coming from a manhole that was suspiciously open. Dennis didn't care about what happened, as he moved the cover from the hole and jumped in.

Which was a bad idea, as he immediately felt himself get knocked out cold.

When Dennis woke up, he found himself in an observation room, where he saw his child Simon strapped to an operation table from a wide window. "What? What is this!?" Dennis tried to move, but he found himself in a straightjacket with only his hand free. "Mr. Aldridge. You have already failed the part of the message to not bring attention." a female voice said, where a young-looking blue haired teenager with glasses appeared in his view, blocking the window. "Who are you?!"
"Mr. Aldridge. We are here to discuss the crimes that you have broken which are punishable by death."
"Crimes? What crimes!? If I broken a crime, why did you kidnap my children!?"
"They were guilty, too."
"For what?!"
"Because they are guilty." The woman said, seemingly without emotion at all.

To Dennis, it was the most absurd excuse for being here. "Why?! They didn't commit murder, nor step on an ant intentionally!" Dennis said to the woman, who didn't seem to care what Dennis had to say. "Guilt is assumed. That is why you and your children are to be executed to face death." "So you're telling me that even if I have done nothing wrong? I am to be executed, anyways? That doesn't make sense!"
"That because it's not supposed to make sense. That's why we must execute-"
"No! You don't get it! You're aware that I'm innocent, yet you're executing me for no reason! That's straight up murder! It's like a childish brat thinking the law doesn't apply to them, so they can apply their own law!"
"Relax, Mr. Aldridge. You're not alone. All of Main Nation Ministry are to be killed for their crime."
"Wait... are you implying that I'm guilty for being alive?"
"Correct. The human race on this land was supposed to die off years ago, so we are manipulating the minds of many to help end mankind to ensure that all of the guilty in this part of the multi-verse are extinct to benefit the pain. As we would say. Your child Simon will have his mind changed, so he can eliminate the guilty in the nation."

"Wait! I will do anything to make sure that my children will be alive! Please, I willingly to do anything. Even something that I would regret! Anything! Even if it can get me killed, they are just children! Please!" Dennis began to cry, as he wanted his own children to survive in this world. "Just let me do anything. Even if it can help you..." Dennis broke down, weeping where the woman frowned, looking like it was about to turn into a scowl. "We will not take your request. However, the only way your children can survive is if, you are willingly to let them suffer for a large length, while letting their so-called lifespans expand. However, it comes at a cost."

Aldridge leaned to hear what she had to say.

by **Qusmo** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:29 pm

SPONY LUQ TELEVISION

Hello, all. Welcome to Spony Luq Television, broadcasting from Qanz, Qusmo. After a wild Round of Sixteen, Cup of Harmony 73 is down to its last eight - &, thanks to a 1-0 victory over New Lusitania, Qusmo will be playing in the quarterfinals. There, Qusmo will play the Squornshelan Remnant States, which upset Abanhfleft - the top-ranked team in the Cup of Harmony - for a place in the semifinals. Qusmo & the Squornshelan Remnant States are joined by Juvencus & Mytanija in the Equestrian half of the draw & Tinhampton, Main Nation Ministry, Kelssek, & Jeruselem in the Quarterfinals. With that said, let’s take some questions about the Cup of Harmony. Our first question comes from a viewer in Wexe.

How are the Quarterfinals looking?

It’s been a topsy-turvy knockout stage so far in Cassadaigua & the Equestrian States, as two teams that were knocked out are Abanhfleft & Savojarna; the only two teams in this tournament ranked inside the top thirty-two in the world were bounced in the Round of Sixteen. All told, only one of the top-ranked half dozen teams who entered this tournament are now gone.

That bodes well for any aspirations Qusmo might have of advancing further. To make the semifinals, Qusmo faces a team ranked just inside the top hundred in the multiverse, not the top twenty-five, while Qusmo would play either a team ranked one hundred twentieth or a team it has already beaten in this tournament for a spot in the final - where they could face no team ranked more than three spots above them. Then again, Qusmo still has to focus on their next opponent before they can start dreaming of a trophy.

It’s a common message from managers before these quarterfinals, as each feature one team ranked in the top sixty facing off against another ranked outside the top eighty, & as lowly as two teams tied for one hundred twentieth. Still, each team has shown that they are capable of playing good football, having survived a Group Stage & the Round of Sixteen; this is something that the managers of these highly-ranked teams will surely be reminding their players of. Meanwhile, the fact that the Round of Sixteen did not go as planned for several top teams will be encouraging for many lower-ranked teams, who derive confidence in their capability to pull an upset from other teams’ knockout round performances or their own.

After all, it seems as though the teams that remain in the tournament had to emerge from a Group Stage crucible before they could even make it to the knockout rounds. Two Group A teams played two Group B teams in the Round of Sixteen; both Group B teams won. Two Group C teams played two Group D teams that round; both Group C teams advanced. Moving on to Cassadaigua, two Group E teams played Group F teams, & two Group E teams beat Group F teams. Finally, in two matchups between teams from Group G & Group H, the Group H team emerged victorious each time. That means that the Cup of Harmony semifinals could feature a pair of Group Stage rematches - & that there are four different permutations of rematches that could occur.

Qusmo is certainly hoping that Group C doesn’t sweep the Equestrian semifinal places. The Qusmi’y will be taking on the Squornshelan Remnant States for a place in the semifinal; the winner will play either Mytanija or Qusmo’s Group B groupmate, Juvencus. Either way, Qusmo would have at least some connection to each side. Of course, Qusmo played (& defeated) Juvencus in the group stage, but Qusmo knocked Mytanija out of a tournament once before - by more indirect means. In Copa Rushmori XXX, hosted by Cup of Harmony 73 co-host Cassadaigua, the top four teams which finished third in their groups advanced to the Round of Sixteen. Qusmo was the fourth-best third-place team & got to play one more match against Ceni, which they promptly lost; Mytanija was the fifth-place third-place team & was eliminated.

That said, let’s take a closer look at the teams & the matchups left in the Cup of Harmony, with an especially close eye cast toward the two matches to take place in the Equestrian States.

Juvencus v. Mytanija
Wild Grounds, Everfree, Equestrian States
33 Juvencus
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 4-1 Round of Sixteen win over 52 Taeshan (1st in Group A, with 7 points)
2nd in Group B - 4 points (1-1-1) v. Qusmo, East Belzaria, & Krytenia (±0, 5-5)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 2nd in Group 2 - 38 points, 11-5-2 (+24, 45-21)
11 points behind Group 2 winners Cosumar (4th in World Cup Group H, with 3 points)
Lost 4-7 (1-1, 3-6) in playoff to Audioslavia (4th in World Cup Group G, with 2 points)
Other Group 2 Cup of Harmony teams:
The Macabees (finished 4 points ahead; 3rd in Group H, with 4 points)
Saint Émelie (finished 10 points ahead; 3rd in Group A, with 1 point)
Recent results: 3rd in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 4 & Group Stage in World Cup 80

120 Mytanija
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 1-0 (a.e.t.) Round of Sixteen win over 107 Geisenfried (2nd in Group D, with 4 points)
1st in Group C - 5 points (1-2-0) v. Squornshelan Remnant States, Acronius, & Mattijana (+1, 3-2)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 6th in Group 7 - 27 points, 8-3-7 (-1, 20-21)
24 points behind Group 7 winners Eura (2nd in World Cup Group G, with 4 points; won 1-0 in Round of Sixteen match v. Brenecia; advancing to Quarterfinal match v. Free Republics)
6 points behind Group 7 runners-up Acronius (did not qualify; 3rd in Cup of Harmony Group C, with 3 points)
Other Group 7 Cup of Harmony teams:
Blaneu (finished 1 point ahead; 4th in Group A, with 1 point)
Mattijana (finished 5 points behind; 4th in Group C, with 2 points)
Recent results: Did not attempt to qualify for World Cup 80
On a day in which the top seeds bowed out, Juvencus was not to be denied. After a thoroughly underwhelming performance in the group stage, in which a late goal from Krytenia in the other final Group B match was all that kept them in second place above East Belzaria, the gli attaccanti came to life in their Round of Sixteen match against Taeshan. Juvencus started strong & never looked back, taking a 2-0 lead into the half & ending with a 4-1 pasting of one of this tournament’s best defences.

After a relatively quiet first two matches, with one goal each against Krytenia & East Belzaria, the Juven attack has been on fire of late, scoring seven in their past two matches. Those have not been against paltry opposition, either; neither Qusmo nor Taeshan has conceded a single goal all tournament long to any team besides Juvencus, in a combined six matches. Juvencus has been on fire.

How a single matchday changes things. Before the Round of Sixteen, we predicted that Juvencus would be the only team in the top fifty of the multiverse to lose at that stage of the competition; as it turned out, the gli attaccanti are not only still standing, with a completely new narrative following a dominant win over a quality team, but they are the only team in the top fifty of the multiverse to be preparing for a Cup of Harmony Quarterfinal.

Thirty-first-ranked Juvencus will take on hundred-twentieth-ranked Mytanija, & if they win, they would play either fifty-seventh-ranked Qusmo or ninety-ninth-ranked Squornshelan Remnant States in the semifinals, with the possibility of facing a high-ranked team like fifty-fourth-ranked Jeruselem or fifty-sixth-ranked Tinhampton in their final match or a low-ranked squad like eighty-first-ranked Main Nation Ministry or even hundred-twentieth-ranked Kelssek. In terms of ranks, Juvencus has a clear advantage over the rest of the tournament field, & their offense is now firing on all cylinders. Juvencus is playing like tournament favourites again. They will be hard to beat for anyone.

Meanwhile, the figure of Robin Hjik looms large over Juvencus’s opponents. The Mytanar manager was involved in the last clash between Mytanija & Geisenfried, a one-match playoff on neutral ground to decide who would advance to World Cup 62. In the end, the match was knotted after ninety & looked destined for penalties until Hjik put Mytanija through in the one hundred fifteenth minute.

Fans of Geisenfried with particularly long memories might be reminded of that match, nineteen cycles ago, by the Round of Sixteen that Mytanija played to get here. That match, too, could not be resolved in an hour & a half alone, & it took all of one minute longer - until the one hundred sixteenth - for Mytanija to find an extra time winner & dash the hopes of Geisenfried. The wild celebrations of the crowd in the Equestrian States was reminiscent of when citizens of the nation then known as Mytannion swarmed the pitch in Carpathia & Ruthenia.

Of course, only time will tell if Jezdimir Ocokoljic will manage their team in their quest for World Cup 100 Qualification, but simply to be placed in the company of Hjik is a tremendous honour in Mytanar football. In fact, Hjik scored Mytanija’s two goals in the Cup of Harmony 56 Final to secure a 2-1 win over Ossidiacqua, the final match of Hjik’s international career. Those were late goals, too, scored in the eightieth & eighty-fifth minutes.

People across Mytanija will surely be hoping that Ocokoljic, Mytanija’s leading scorer in their Di Bradini Cup 40 title-winning success, will be able to keep up their form to lead Mytanija to another Cup of Harmony championship. They will face a massive challenge in Juvencus, which has goalscoring talent of their own in abundance - but as Hjik proved then, & as Ocokoljic is proving now, you can never count Mytanija out until the final whistle has blown.
Prediction: Juvencus

Qusmo v. Squornshelan Remnant States
Diamond Park, Stalliongrad, Equestrian States
57 Qusmo
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 1-0 Round of Sixteen win over 65 New Lusitania (2nd in Group A, with 7 points)
1st in Group B - 9 points (3-0-0) v. Juvencus, East Belzaria, & Krytenia (+3, 6-3)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 9 - 35 points, 10-5-3 (+21, 30-9)
6 points behind Group 9 winners Valanora (3rd in World Cup Group D, with 4 points)
4 points behind Group 9 runners-up Polkopia (did not qualify; 4th in Cup of Harmony Group F, with 1 point)
Other Group 9 Cup of Harmony teams:
Eastfield Lodge (finished 1 point ahead; 1st in Group F, with 6 points; lost 0-1 in Round of Sixteen match v. Kelssek)
Karulicja (finished 10 points ahead; 2nd in Group G, with 4 points; lost 1-5 in Round of Sixteen match v. Jeruselem)
Recent results: 7th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 11 & Round of Sixteen in Cup of Harmony 72

99 Squornshelan Remnant States
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 3-2 (a.e.t.) Round of Sixteen win over 24 Abanhfleft (1st in Group D, with 5 points)
2nd in Group C - 3 points (0-3-0*) v. Mytanija, Acronius, & Mattijana (±0, 4-4)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 5th in Group 15 - 29 points, 9-2-7 (+8, 25-17)
22 points behind Group 15 winners Pasarga (3rd in World Cup Group A, with 4 points)
15 points behind Group 15 runners-up Qasden (qualified automatically; 4th in World Cup Group D, with 3 points)
Other Group 17 Cup of Harmony teams:
Geisenfried (4 points behind; 2nd in Group D, with 4 points; lost 0-1 (a.e.t.) Round of Sixteen match v. Mytanija)
Recent results: Did not attempt to qualify for World Cup 80; Quarterfinals in Baptism of Fire 68
A major storyline surrounding this match will, inevitably, be the political situation surrounding it. Of course, Fuzpon Qusma is no stranger to dealing with political controversy from their opponents. One is reminded, of course, of Qusmo’s friendly with Banija in the midst of the crisis that would lead to the Busoga Islands’ independence from the kingdom that now is hosting World Cup 81. However, this situation seems a bit different.

The Confederacy of Squornshelan Remnant States is competing with the Imperium of Squornshelous for the title of the true government of their nation. This is no mere political dispute, either. A long & bloody war was fought over this conflict, & it has not yet been resolved. Throughout the leadup to this match, national team manager Avarn-Oxolt Ban & their players have had to dance around tricky questions about nationality, sovereignty, & legitimacy.

“Ultimately, our football team doesn’t get to decide what the result of this conflict is or what it ought to be,” Avarn-Oxolt sighed, exasperated. “The World Cup Committee decided to recognize the football association of the Confederacy. The Confederacy entered [World Cup] Qualifying. The Confederacy was invited to the Cup of Harmony. The Confederacy advanced to the Quarterfinals. & the team we’re about to play is the Confederacy. But that’s down to the World Cup Committee & the host committee, not us. The legitimacy of a government is a decision that is made - & that ought to be made - by people who are a lot more smart than I am about these things.”

It is truly a shame that the controversy has swirled around the leadup to this match, because it is shaping up to be a very good one. On the one hand, Qusmo looks to be coming into this match confident & on a head of steam. They won their group after winning all of their matches, & they followed that up by defeating New Lusitania. They are on a four-match winning streak & a thirteen-match competitive unbeaten streak.

That has largely been because of a rock-solid defence, which has now preserved clean sheets in six of Qusmo’s last seven competitive matches. Qusmo has been able to demonstrate that it can get its offense on fire, too, though perhaps inconsistently so; when Juvencus was able to score three against the Qusmi’y, they were able to win with four goals of their own. The competition Qusmo has faced has not been poor, either; Krytenia, one of the legends of the sport, was dispatched 1-0 before Qusmo outscored higher-ranked Juvencus 4-3 to win Group B, & Qusmo was cool under the pressure of a knockout round match with a 1-0 defeat of New Lusitania, which had not lost in the tournament to that point. Qusmo has played well, & it seems possible that they might get to the semifinals.

It will be no walk in the park, however, as the Qusmi’y have to face the Confederacy to reach that point. The people of the territory its government claims has had considerable success in the past, & the Confederacy will hope that their performance in this Cup of Harmony will go some way to reviving that tradition. They seem to be peaking at just the right time, too.

The Confederates got off to a bit of a slow start, securing only three points in the group stage. They did not get a single win - but they also never lost. In the end, after three draws in three Group Stage matches, the Confederate team was entered in a single-match playoff against Acronius, with whom they were tied on points, head-to-head record, goal differential, & goals for. Finally, they broke through with a win, scoring four to advance.

It seemed like they would not go far, however, with a date with Abanhfleft on the horizon. While Abanhfleft were certainly not in their best form, they were the top-ranked side in the tournament by a fair margin, & seventy-five places above the Confederacy. Plus, the Fleftics had the benefit of not having to play an extra match on short notice, in a sort of de facto Round of Seventeen. The Confederates surprised the multiverse by taking Abanhfleft to extra time in their Round of Sixteen match. They then shocked the multiverse by winning in extra time, despite being on short rest & after playing an extra match. The Confederates should have been the most tired team on the pitch, but they still found a way to fight through it & win. They proved themselves to be a serious threat to any team in this tournament - & they will be no pushovers for Qusmo.

Still, the Confederates have had to play an extra match that Qusmo did not, & they had to play an extra time period in the Round of Sixteen that Qusmo did not, either. The Squornshelan Remnant States have had an extra two hours of football in this tournament, & that has to wear on their legs. As this tournament goes on, those extra minutes will continue to get more & more painful, & it will be tougher & tougher to continue playing at the same level. On the other hand, we are impressed by Qusmo’s performances, especially its win over New Lusitania, & we think that they are a high-calibre team that the Confederates will need to be at top form to beat. Without that, Qusmo has a good chance of shutting down the Confederate offense - & picking up yet another win, to advance from their first-time Cup of Harmony quarterfinal to their first-ever semifinal of any international football tournament.
Prediction: Qusmo

With those predictions out of the way, let’s look briefly now at the other two quarterfinals to be played in this Cup of Harmony, in Cassadaigua.

Tinhampton v. Main Nation Ministry
New Lakeland Stadium, New Lakeland, Cassadaigua
56 Tinhampton
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 2-0 Round of Sixteen win over 63 South Toronto (2nd in Group F, with 6 points)
1st in Group E - 9 points (3-0-0) v. Kelssek, Freeport, & Beepee (+6, 6-0)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 16 - 40 points, 13-1-4 (+18, 27-9)
3 points behind Group 16 winners Brenecia (1st in World Cup Group H, with 7 points; lost 0-1 in Round of Sixteen match v. Eura)
7 points behind Group 16 runners-up Cassadaigua (qualified via playoff; 2nd in World Cup Group D, with 4 points; lost 1-3 in Round of Sixteen match v. Ethane)
Other Group 16 Cup of Harmony teams: None
Recent results: 5th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 3; not invited to Cup of Harmony 72

81 Main Nation Ministry
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 3-2 Round of Sixteen win over 31 Savojarna (1st in Group G, with 9 points)
2nd in Group H - 5 points (1-2-0) v. Main Nation Ministry, The Macabees, & Oberour Ar Moro (+1, 6-5)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 14 - 35 points, 10-5-3 (+19, 46-27)
8 points behind Group 14 winners Kita-Hinode (3rd in World Cup Group G, with 3 points)
3 points behind Group 14 winners Sargossa (2nd in World Cup Group C, with 6 points; lost 3-4 in Round of Sixteen match v. Vilita)
Other Group 14 Cup of Harmony teams:
Siovanija & Teusland (finished 5 points ahead; 3rd in Group G, with 2 points)
Recent results: 8th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 6 & Group Stage in Cup of Harmony 72
Prediction: Tinhampton

Kelssek v. Jeruselem
Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights, Cassadaigua
120 Kelssek
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 1-0 Round of Sixteen win over 50 Eastfield Lodge (1st in Group F, with 6 points)
2nd in Group E - 6 points (2-0-1) v. Tinhampton, Freeport, & Beepee (+2, 6-4)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 7th in Group 6 - 27 points, 8-3-7 (±0, 34-34)
19 points behind Group 6 winners Farfadillis (3rd in World Cup Group C, with 4 points)
11 points behind Group 6 runners-up Indusse (did not qualify; not invited to Cup of Harmony 73)
Other Group 6 Cup of Harmony teams: None
Recent results: Did not attempt to qualify for World Cup 80

54 Jeruselem
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 5-1 Round of Sixteen win over 130 Karulicja (2nd in Group G, with 4 points)
1st in Group H - 6 points (2-0-1) v. Main Nation Ministry, The Macabees, & Oberour Ar Moro (+1, 6-5)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 11 - 36 points, 11-3-4 (+15, 44-29)
11 points behind Group 11 winners Mriin (3rd in World Cup Group H, with 3 points)
1 points behind Group 11 runners-up Abanhfleft (did not qualify; 1st in Cup of Harmony Group D, with 5 points; lost 2-3 (a.e.t.) in Round of Sixteen match v. Squornshelan Remnant States)
Other Group 11 Cup of Harmony teams:
Darkmania (finished 3 points ahead; 4th in Group D, with 2 points)
Dreamplanet (finished 4 points ahead; 3rd in Group F, with 4 points)
Recent results: 5th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 10 & Group Stage in Cup of Harmony 72
Prediction: Jeruselem

Cup of Harmony 73
Round of 16 Results

Qusmo 1–0 New Lusitania
at Elements Stadium in Ponyville, EQS

QNT impresses to advance to Cup of Harmony quarterfinals
Qusmo 1–0 New Lusitania
Shady Grove, Whitetail, Equestrian States
GK  Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
CB  Zenon-Gerol Kal
74’ Ozolx-Alfan Ixi
CB  Yelto-Alfan Ono
CM  Yamaj-Blonz Jok
65’ Yunal-Julad Waz
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
AM  Ilinx-Vulav Ixi
51’ Gavax-Nenzi Abe
LM  Kynda-Sevet Pec
RM  Forzu-Ralox Kal
SS  Paliv-Xilit Max
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol (55’)

by **Equestrian States** » Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:30 pm

Cup of Harmony 73
Groups A-D :: Quarterfinals Results

Juvencus 3–2 Mytanija

at Wild Grounds in Everfree, EQS

Qusmo 1–0 Squornshelan Remnant States

at Diamond Park in Stalliongrad, EQS

Groups A-D :: Semifinal Fixture

Juvencus vs. Qusmo

Grand Regal Stadium in Canterlot, EQS

by **Jeruselem** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:45 am

Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights. Cassadaigua ... Princess Cassie and Princess Chloe looking happy

Cassie: This is Princess Cassandra Elisa Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights. Cassadaigua for the quarter finals of Cup of Harmony 73. I'm with the Jeruselem coach Princess Chloe ... you know my sister.
Chloe: Eh, why do you always say that?
Cassie: Some people complain about nepotism so it's just best to disclose that
Chloe: Nepotism is normal in Jeruselem, they are just being derps
Cassie: Anyway, back to the game. We had Cassadaigua host Jeruselem vs Kelssek and Tinhampton vs Main Nation Ministry today for the quarters.
Chloe: Oh yes, we're not going home yet

Cassie: We beat Kelssek 2-1! We're in the semis!
Chloe: Wasn't easy, they made it quite difficult
Cassie: Both teams didn't sit around and defend, we tried to score but they had very competent defense to frustrate our team.
Chloe: Yes and we had to scramble to keep them out when they took possession.
Cassie: It didn't turn to be goalfest either as both keepers were busy trying to keep each other scoreless
Chloe: Eventually we did break through to lead 1-0 in the first half but they hit back to even the score.

Cassie: So were you worried when that happened?
Chloe: One goal leads are fragile, it's hard to hold on. So many games are lost at the last moment.
Cassie: Any doubt we could recover?
Chloe: We're a tough lot, we don't want to go down without some kind of fight.
Cassie: Thankfully we scored the last goal of the game when they were tired and worn out
Chloe: Yes, persistence won the day. Well, they could have done that to us too.

Cassie: Tinhampton beat underdogs Main Nation Ministry 2-1 as well. So it's us versus Tinhampton
Chloe: We have never ever played that team.
Cassie: Well, it's us vs Tinhampton, so what do you expect?
Chloe: Well, Kelssek played like us. Tinhampton are a bit different. 4 at the back and 4 in the front. So the key is our midfield countering that.
Cassie: They've been pretty good all cup
Chloe: We didn't start well but we're picking up our game. We're both ranked in our mid 50s so it's even match.

Cassie: They also have a girl as manager, just like us.
Chloe: About the same age as me too, but she's not a Princess.
Cassie: How will you counter their defensive style?
Chloe: Yes, they score goals too so don't let being defensive fool one. We just hope we can find weaknesses.
Cassie: No results from Pony Land ... so we can't tell you who our potential opponent in the finale could be.
Chloe: There's some pretty good teams in that round so we have to be at our best from now on.

Cassie: On the home front, is retirement on the cards?
Chloe: Well, if someone who knows more than I do wants the job - I'll step aside. They have to be good, no numpties allowed.
Cassie: Surely we have domestic coaches who could just do that
Chloe: A lot of them don't like all that travel and all the extra crap you have to do just to run the team.
Cassie: Yes, it's very draining at times just moving around.
Chloe: Some of them are older folk who don't like the extra stress, it's stressful.

Cassie: So a middle aged coach with lots of energy
Chloe: Lots of energy, you'll need that
Cassie: You did start early in coaching compared to others
Chloe: Yeah, not my choice. I wanted to have propery football career.
Cassie: No objections for man taking the job
Chloe: As long as he can do the job. He has be able to deal with women. We're here in Cassie Land, women run this place. You have just deal with that kind of reality in some places.

Cassie: And talk to naked women ...
Chloe: Oh yes, that. Well, if you live in Jeruselem expect to deal with that anyway.
Cassie: That's it from us, see you back in Cassie Land for the semi final!
Chloe: And you behave yourselves at home, especially one particular person ...

OOC Wrote this before that post above ...

by **Juvencus** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:09 am

Juvencus 3-2 Mytanija

GLI ATTACCANTI TO THE FINAL 4 OF THE CUP OF HARMONY AFTER A NAILBITER

The gli attaccanti barely managed to edge out a victory over a hungry Mytanija squad

WILD GROUNDS, EVERFREE The Wild Grounds in Everfree were host to a great quarter-final fixture between Mytanija and the Juvencus, with the latter seemingly back on its feet, even after a nailbiting performance against a much lower-ranked team.

The match seemed to be one to last for ages from the very start, with both teams trying to put their playstyles into play. Chances started early on from the gli attaccanti side with a rocket from Tafani hitting the crossbar, however not making the Mytanar team crumble under the pressure. The Mytanars quickly countered and despite a great through-ball from Todorov for Aleksic the latter was unable to capitalise on it. The party didn't take long to start with a great interception from Etxeberria after a misommunication in the Mytanar backline was enough for him to steal the ball and give Tafani a set-piece. However celebrations didn't last long as a great attack from the Mytanars ended with a backheel from Odonelec to Ocokoljic with the latter scoring the equaliser really fast. The first half ended with a barrage of chances from the a gli attaccanti side only to be cleared out by the effective Mytanar defence or the goalkeeper.

The second half was even more stress-inducing early on with Etxeberria getting injured after an attempt to go through Vukovic ended up in him getting tangled up in the Mytanar's feet and he was only penalised with a yellow card, which was a controversial decision by the refferee and it caused a fight between Juven and Mytanar players however with no casualties or cards being given. A Martell shot from the 30-yard line was exceptionally saved by Savic soon after. In the 66th minute, a great Martell cross to the box found Tafani jumping the highest among the defenders to score a second one for the gli attaccanti, thus giving the team the advantadge once more. However, just like the first time, the Mytanars not only didn't crumble under the pressure but also managed to equalise once again, this time with a great Todorov cross in the box finding Ocokoljic equalising with a header of his own. Soon after, a shot from Zekic was abruptly saved from Bulgari, heading straight for a corner. In the corner that followed, a fight between Bassi and Ocokoljic followed which lasted for a few minutes before the referee came in to split them both and yellow card them as well. The match was give 7 minutes of extra time to finish it all and with both teams desperate to find a goal, pressure came over both sides and ruled them for a while, however the gli attaccanti prevailed, as a long ball from Ibarra found Tore Christian and the latter managed to score a goal from the 28-meter line right into the top left corner of the Mytanar goal, thus helping the gli attaccanti qualify for the semi-final.

The semi-final game will be against Qusmo, a team which the gli attaccanti faced in the group stages and is the only team to defeat them in the entire tournament. With gli attaccanti not only seeking to qualify for the final of the Cup of Harmony but to get revenge against the team that defeated them in the group stages, the stakes of this match are high.

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi(Yellow card 81')
CB:Izotz Ibarra(Assist 90+4')
CDM:Firmino Maçon
CDM:Clovis Bret(Subbed off for Nino Russo, 73')
RM:Hugo Grec
LM:Tore Christian(Goal 90+4')
LF:Joaquim Martell(Assist 66')
RF:Patxi Etxeberria(Assist 17')(Subbed off for Oriol Vives, 52' due to minor injury, expected to miss game against Qusmo)
CF:Brunella Tafani(Goals 17', 66')

Mytanija XI:
GK:Jasmin Savic
CB:Mojmir Anac
CB:Niksa Obadko
RB:Petr Isaev
LB:Srdan Vukovic(Yellow card, 52')
CDM:Branko Brkljacic
CM:Tahir Fejzuli
CM:Grigor Todorov(Assist 72')
CAM:Jasno Odonelec(Assist 24')
CF:Jezdimir Ocokoljic(Goals 24', 72', Yellow card, 81')
CF:Nebojsa Aleksic(Subbed off for Alen Zekic, 60')

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:50 pm

Three Things
All Good Things . . .
Salwan Mynhier

Lopal Daror Announces his Resignation
Citing inevitable future conflicts between the needs of the national team and his club career, Black-and-Reds manager Lopal Daror announced in his postgame press conference that he would be stepping down as manager, effective next week. "I believe it will be impossible for me to devote adequate attention to the national team, while also fulfilling my responsibilities at Traal, as well as to my family," he explained, "It would not be fair to anyone involved for me to continue in both positions, so I have decided to step aside from managing the national team. The next person to take on the position will need to be able to devote their full attention to the development of the team, something that I am unable to do." Many fans and commentators had wondered how the man many have nicknamed the "Minister of Defense" would balance these competing draws on his time, and now we have our answer. Daror was careful to make clear that he harbors no harsh feelings toward the SCFA regarding the situation. "It has been a great honor to be called upon for this task, and I greatly look forward to following the progress of our young program under its next leader. For now though, I owe it to the fans and players at Traal to devote all my energy to our campaign for a repeat of last season's success, as well as to make time for my family, who have seen very little of me these past months."

While perhaps it shouldn't, this announcement will come as a definite surprise for many, as Daror has led the Black-and-Reds to phenomenal success in this first year back to WCC competitions. After reaching the quarterfinals of the Baptism of Fire, losing matches only to the eventual champions and runners-up, he managed through a nightmare situation as 20 different players missed time after being poisoned during World Cup qualifying. Despite this setback, the Black-and-Reds managed a top half finish in their group, highlighted by a 2-1 Matchday 9 upset of Qasden. Now, he has brought his team to another quarterfinal, recording upset victories over Acronius and Abanhfleft along the way, before finally falling to a Qusma team whose defensive form at the moment is second to none. Whoever steps in to lead our team into the next World Cup cycle will have large shoes to fill.

Player Impressions, Good and Bad:

Good: Demkjo Jzvanic
One of the outstanding players of the tournament, Jzvanic fully justified Lopal Daror's trust in naming him the starting striker, recording four goals and one assist in six appearances. He was a dynamic player, able to find his way to the right place at the right time again and again, and pitching in to create opportunities more consistently that Zoban Ajao has been able to. With this type of performance on the world stage, he has surely made an impression on foreign scouts, and has definitely increased both the value of his next contract, and the fee Lublova could expect in return for selling him.

Bad: Danin Geladi
The on-again off-again wingback failed to put his name on the score sheet during the tournament, and didn't manage to make up for it by looking more secure defensively. As a result, he found himself subbed off or even replaced as a starter in favor of Djabgor Dzarkin on several occasions. With his club manager stepping down from the national team job, Geladi will need to pull out of this funk to impress the new manager, or face the prospect of sliding down the depth chart.

Good: Jzeovak Vladcik
Vladcik seemed to have more balance to his game than in previous competitions, recording one goal, but also adding two assists, and generally looking like a more complete player. This extensive experience at the international level has been a great thing for his development, and he should be a veritable terror to play against in next year's League 1.

Bad: Zemen Ystrad
Ystrad wasn't terrible in his two appearances, but he didn't seem to have addressed the discipline problems that got him benched in the first place. He failed to demonstrate that he can or should be an every match center back at the international level, and after being used in a specialized situation against Mytanija, he was replaced again by Tkermec, who looked much more dependable, despite his small stature (for a center back). Ystrad needs to clean up his act if he wants to feature regularly again, as there is no guarantee that there will be room in the starting lineup for three center backs going forward, now that Daror is gone.

Good: Arlo Damot
What can I say about the captain that hasn't already been said? He played every minute of every match, contributed a goal and two assists, and looked every inch the on field leader this team needs. He played a crucial role in the late-first half turnaround against Abanhfleft and is just the most complete player out there. Without him at the center of the field, none of Jzvanic and Vladcik's high-flying antics would have been possible. He makes everyone around him better, and I hope he plays forever.

Updated Player Statistics:

#  Name                 Pos  Age  Caps  G   A  CS
1  Istaro Munib          GK   27   23   0   0   8
2  Danin Geladi          LB   24   24   0   3   0
3  Dymek Raktsov         CB   24   23   1   0   0
4  Tervi Oleb (VC)       CB   26   25   2   0   0
5  Ctibor Tkermec        CB   29   18   1   0   0
6  Jinkzta Ulcviecel     RB   26   23   0   4   0
7  Eyob Zonde            RM   27   22   5   3   0
8  Vaarin Strepol        CM   26   20   3   0   0
9  Arlo Damot (C)        CM   29   25   6  10   0
10 Jzeovak Vladcik       LM   21   24   6   4   0
11 Demkjo Jzvanic        ST   27   18   7   4   0
12 Vrenz Tambura         RM   22   14   1   4   0
13 Zholtokh Dzrenin      CM   34   17   3   5   0
14 Janar Delu            RB   23   10   0   0   0
15 Shrike Hagaz          CM   24   12   0   0   0
16 Zoban Ajao            ST   22   18   5   2   0
17 Zemen Ystrad          CB   25   16   1   0   0
18 Djabgor Dzarkhin      LB   24   14   0   0   0
19 Przemors Dzetker      ST   29    5   2   1   0
20 Ozol Gebara           LM   27    8   0   2   0
21 Ortzi Perparim        CB   27    6   0   0   0
22 Girma Mikhulat        ST   26    3   0   1   0
23 Stovar Krieven        GK   24    3   0   0  2.5

Tranfer Prospects: Poaching in League 2
With several important players in League 1 eyeing possible moves overseas, the teams they will leave behind must find a way to replace them, either from within or by domestic transfer. As always, it will be easier for those big clubs to fill their rosters out affordably by choosing players from the less financially stable clubs of the lower SCFA league. Here's a look at a few of League 2's top teams from last season, and a few players that might move on to better-paying pastures.

Arkintoofle United Football Club
Ark U were one of the best defensive teams of League 2, something which can be credited in large part to the frequently spectacular play of young goaltender Jaska Povarnin (25-year-old brother of national team midfielder Tudan Povarnin). Ark U may wish to retain him with hopes of promotion, but he will likely be looking to move up in the world to a team that can provide him with better goal support. Without a clear replacement lined up, Ark U may need to look elsewhere for a starting keeper, or else shore up their attack and prepare to outscore opponents. Another member of the defense that the rumor mill links with a move up in the world is right back Eguzki Bhaumik, who at 27, might want to have a shot at the top prize before the twilight of his career.

Dynamo Bardjov
Bardjov very nearly snuck into league one, finishing ahead of Ark U and Sporting on goal differential, but then losing the relegation playoff to Flania Zarss. Bardjov have never been a rich club, and having failed their promotion bid, some of their players will likely be departing. The likeliest prospects are striker Viordar Rebljeten, center back Svardo Vrboska, and attacking midfielder Rycszard Vepcojat, all of whom are on expiring contracts. They will hope, at least, to avoid selling any players to in-state rivals like Lublova and Interblag.

Revolution Chalesm
The Revs respectable season and impressive cup run have definitely drawn some attention from around the Confederacy. 27-year-old left wing Pal Durano is one player rumored to be eyeing a move to a top contender. Meanwhile center back Ullin Hatakha has drawn a lot of attention, but seems content to remain for the time being, as the Revs look to be among the favorites to win League 2 in the coming year, provided they can hang on to enough of their core.

Sporting Club of Jaglan
Sporting were another team with a respectable season and solid cup run that should be considered among the favorites to win League 2. Much of their success was due to the sure finishing of center forward Riziki Dakna, who the rumormongers predict will move to a mid-table League 1 team hoping to secure a promotion spot to the Super League next year. Far more interesting are the rumors surrounding center mid Khajag Oonar who is said to have drawn attention from Sporting's cross-town rivals, Royals. Whether the offered fee will be big enough for the fans to stomach seeing their former star in navy and gold remains to be seen.

Until next time, I'm Salwan, you're not. Keep reading.

Squornshelan Remnant States Cup of Harmony 73 Final Results:
MD1: Squornshelan Remnant States 2-2 Acronius (Manehattan Industrial Park, Manehattan, EQS)
MD2: Squornshelan Remnant States 0-0 Mytanija (Elements Stadium, Ponyville, EQS)
MD3: Mattijana 2-2 Squornshelan Remnant States (Manehattan Industrial Park, Manehattan, EQS)
P/O: Acronius 2-4 Squornshelan Remnant States (Derby Field, Manehattan, EQS)
2nd: Abanhfleft 2-3 Squornshelan Remnant States (2-2 AFT) (Shady Grove, Whitetail, EQS)
QF: Qusmo 1-0 Squornshelan Remnant States (Diamond Park, Stalliongrad, EQS)

by **Kelssek** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:55 pm

Footballers coming home: Wild ride comes to an end
SPORT | Edwin Cottrell in Concord Heights, Cassadaigua

The carnival ride that was Kelssek’s thrilling journey at Cup of Harmony 73 came to a juddering halt against Jeruselem. A second goal in two matches for Matt Lister wasn’t enough as Kelssek’s stubborn rearguard action was finally broken in a 2-1 quarterfinal loss.

Jeruselem scored the first goal off the boot of Denise Doge taking the lead after 39 minutes. Matt Lister equalized on 63 minutes to keep the hearts in throats, but Kelssek struggled to muster the attacking play they needed. Hanging on for extra time, they eventually were worn down by a Jeruselem side that simply outplayed them in the final stretch. A chain of passes saw Naomi Blockwell finally add the winning goal to the ledger and while there were still 12 minutes to play, Kelssek never looked like getting back into it from there.

Some fans will remember that time a series of results got Kelssek football fans all excited, the Kirkenes Sky Dome got sold out for a World Cup 37 qualifying match against Jeruselem, and Kelssek took a 6-0 hiding. This wasn't quite that harsh a disappointment, but the dream is over this time around.

But it's forward that the fans and the team will be looking, even as it might sting now on that long flight back to Kelssek. This tournament, and the qualifying campaign that earned them the invitation, went far beyond any reasonable expectations. Football Kelssek's main purpose was simply to show up, a milestone in the project to reestablish the national men's team. This result, which emphatically put international football back on Kelssekians' sporting radar, certainly goes well beyond that.

The estimated 14.9 million viewers who tuned in for the quarter-final late on a Sunday night not only beat out all other sports broadcasts in the federation this week, the demographics are promising. As Football Kelssek had hoped, a younger generation is keen to see Kelssek take on the footballing world. This run at a major trophy has shortcut a lot of the work at rebuilding the fanbase the association expected to need. But it's what happens next that they'll need to focus on now. There were no expectations, and Team Kelssek beat them. That's not going to be the case next time.

by **Tinhampton** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 1:16 pm

OOC: In lieu of any response from Jeru about the contents of this RP, I'm posting it here and now to avoid any potential embarrassment. I am aware of Jeruselem's "Godmod Other Events: N," although it should be noted that Julia Atherton finds herself conversing with a Tinhamptonian politician who quickly disavows that she is pretending to be a Jeruselemite in this RP. If Jeru believes that this behaviour is tantamount to such heresy, she's more than welcome to tap me on the shoulder with a kn---erm, telegram.

*
the Tinhamptonian National Football Team - The Miners
under the auspices of the Tinhampton Football Association
*
TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 2-1 Main Nation Ministry
Venue: New Lakeland Stadium, New Lakeland, Cassadaigua
*

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (5-4-1): 16. Julia ATHERTON (GK) (C), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Davina SALT, 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 6. Mohamed al-KHAZR, 7. Jacob NORTH, 8. Louise WHITBREAD, 9. Fetakela MANUTA, 10. Priscilla EVANS
Main Nation Ministry (4-1-1-3-1 Sweeper, however that works): Farrel MILLIKAN (GK), Anatol ILACQUA (SW), Matthias EUSEY, Kelsey LAMENSDORF, Darnall RINKER, Bogey SCHOELL, Findlay FEANY, Welsh THERNSTROM, Claiborn CAI, Barron HOLOWINSKY, Xenos JOHNSSON
Unable to play: None

GOALS (times in minutes): Louise WHITBREAD 52'24'' (TIN - penalty), Xenos JOHNSSON 56'28'' (Main Nation Ministry, trigram unknown), Priscilla EVANS 77'54'' (TIN)
CARDS: None
INJURIES: None
OTHER INCIDENTS: The Ministry of Sports did not supply shirt numbers to their players. Tinhampton are in the SEMIFINALS of the Cup of Harmony, where they will face ~~Jeruselum~~ Jeruselem.

Forays of Folly
Series 1, Episode 22: Take The Brown Pill
---> RLStates pop culture reference/adaptation count: SEVEN. Your OOC challenge is to track them down and round them up!
NOItatpa dae cnerefe rerutlucp/opsetatslr count: zero <---

The afternoon before Tinhampton's crunch semi-final with Jeruselem, everybody's favourite nepotist monarchy and perpetual World Cup nearly-women - although Ian Jones would beg to differ - Julia Atherton felt barely isolated in the Concord Heights dressing rooms ("After all, I did once take a surprise five-minute vacation there"). Tip... tick... tap... tock... praisefully wide-open and free it may have been, a good place for a woman it certainly was, but it was hardly the greatest of parking lots. Regardless, although the arrival of whatever was surrounding it was certain, no man knew the day nor the hour of its arrival, judging from the ever-more-contributing pattering around her; the ever-more-contributing pattering besides her.
It was right there and then. "You know something," said a face that had been familiar from Maggie-knows-how-many newspaper reports and sanctioned clippings before cropping up once again, as if pulled out of the country's largest top hat. "What---"
"That I recognise you from somewhere?" inquired Atherton.
"Not at all. You might think that I'm posing as Neo Whatshisname or even Cassie Whatsherface, but I actually hail from Tinhampton. You do not talk to who you think you are talking to - I pose as a flower, but act as if I were a serpent 'neath it. What you know, you can't explain, but you feel it - everybody in your nation feels it, you've felt it the entire campaign - that there's something wrong in the Sportiverse."
Atherton stared blankly at the cascade of pink and purple that had populated the barrier that split home from away - a bunch of gritty lads from the pits against a dozen privileged members of royalty led by a literal one.
"You don't know what it is, but it's there - a splinter in your mind driving you mad."
"I'm fairly confident in saying that it's Tinhampton progressing so far into the tournament?"
"Do you know what I'm talking about? Success. Success is everywhere - it's all around us, even in the changing rooms" - the same changing rooms that were slowly crawling away, the technocolor dreamcoat fading off to reveal a dank shade of black. Welcome to the J. B. Carter Boiler Repair garage.
"You can see it when you look into the eyes of the crowd or go for training sessions. You can feel it when you play football and when you recieve bonuses for good performance."
"And I'm still far from certain as to finding out how much I'll earn as a result of all of these victories, let alone if we're gaining anything other than plaudits for defeating South Toronto and the Main Nation Ministry and all the rest of them. It would be safe to presume that we'll get them after the final... I know, right?"
"Yes, right. After all," noted a face that slowly metamorphosed into that of former Mayor Lydia Anderson, "one does not die in the middle of Act 5."
To this, Atherton shook her head and cried "What is the purpose of all this that comes to light?"
"I was supposedly thrown in prison," bemoaned Anderson, "for a crime I did not commit, i.e. threatening the internal stability of Transarid, some backwater ditchwater glorified desert dictatorship. What you did not realise, all that being said, was that it was not myself---"
"The lot of woman cannot be easy, having to suffer inexpert conspiracy-theorist fumblings on a regular basis!"
"...but instead, a group of carefully-manipulated lookalikes chosen for their vague eloquence and for their naivety, as was revealed when I tried to purchase a Gun of Unawareness from Tropicorp - perhaps the Nellie Scouts, that one has slipped out of my head. Have you noticed the similarity between us and them?" This, again to which Atherton denied.
"Well, it does exist," continued Anderson. "Look at these photographs... you can barely tell us apart. In my instance, for example, bobbed grey hair - not that I had a choice in the matter, after all - and so did the lookalike. Mike Davis and so-called Mike Davis, as is evident, both have exactly the same beard. Gertrude Spencer and so-called Spencer... need I explain their indistinguishability to you?"
"WHAT!" yelled Atherton.
"These people did not have diplomatic immunity at all, of course they 'should have been' arrested," replied the ex-Mayor. "They were merely impostors. During the summer holidays, Gertrude, Michael and I came together and agreed to resign en-masse under the pretences of being arrested in Transarid, to avoid copping the inevitable flack that had been suggested by Vox Antipopuli about our visit. We all have been absent from the necessary meetings since then, and I am very close to revealing this story to the Herald, such of the like. In fact, how do you know that I'm not an imposter Lydia pretending to be the real thing?"
"For all we know," lamented Atherton, "I might just be living my life in a quick and barely-witty dialogue that somebody on one side of... whatever they call Lake Bekk will send to somebody on the other side as a rubber chicken sacrifice. You heard what I said? Well, it wasn't me saying it..."
"And that leads us to the nature of reality, and mankind's purpose... hmmm, your telos, your reason for even setting foot in the Sportiverse is to win...?"
"I'm afraid that's classified information, Lydia."
"Yes, my main purpose here was to be a splendid politician, which - as you can tell by the mayoral surroundings - was a successful goal." In response to this, Atherton pointed to herself. "Disregard everything I wrote about wanting to be an astronaut fifty years ago, at least wearing two-inch heels all day is better than winding up with a couple of swollen optic nerves."
"And that is evidently being trumped by the football boots, from what I can tell! Note to self - file this morning's training session under 'try NOT to lose your footing next time, you idiot.'"
"Now that I'm set to replace my blazer and tie next year with an Eleven Retinues replica top," hinted Anderson, "and now that I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I'm rudely awakened by the binman... I suppose I should use the interim to warn you about success. This is the telos of all sports, its raison d'être - success. Success is the word that has been pulled over your eyes to hide you from Tinhampton's pre-Atherton record, which was rather shitty."
The Miners' first-choice keeper could only watch as the woman who had led the city as long ago as the previous year patted her on the back.
"You are a slave, Julia. Like everybody else, you were born into bondage - a prison that you cannot hold, or kiss, or hoist above your head... a prison for your feet. Unfortunately, nobody can be told what success is - you have to see it for yourself." It was there and then that Anderson snuck out two minuscule slabs of pharmacological excellence, the likes of which neither of them had ever been made aware of.
"You have a choice, Athers. After this, this is your last chance. There is no turning back. You take the pink pill, the fairytale ends with a loss to Jeruselem's Princesses, and you wake up and believe that Tinhampton are an irredeemably awful team that makes certain nations that shall not be named here look like awe-inspiring bastions of football.
"You take the brown pill, you stay in the Cup of Harmony and encourage thousands of Tinhamptonian youngsters to take up the sport, and I show you how far the colliery goes. Remember - all I'm offering you is the truth, nothing more...!" Atherton took a while to contemplate her options, always keeping the glass of water that had been laid out previously on the table in one hand, before eagerly reaching out with the other some time later. It was now or never.

by **Cassadaigua** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:00 pm

Time to send a nation to the Equestrian States, and keep one here!

Cup of Harmony 73
Groups E-H :: Semifinal Result

Tinhampton 0-0 (0–0 AET) (2–1 pen.) Jeruselem

at Concord Heights Stadium in Concord Heights, CDG

Congratulations to Tinhampton, who will travel to Royal Equestria Stadium for the championship!
Jeruselem will stay in Concord Heights for the third place game.

by **Qusmo** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:17 pm

Sig Figs

We’re №1 hoping to be recognized as №33!

Qusmo is transfixed by Cup of Harmony 73, where Qusmo has made the semifinals. Recognized as less prestigious than the World Cup, the Cup of Harmony champion is sometimes referred to as the thirty-third-best team in the world. So, in this edition of Sig Figs, the mathematical digest, we’ll examine Significant Figures for Cup of Harmony 73.

0
Number of higher-ranked teams that all Cup of Harmony 73 semifinalists combined (except Qusmo) have faced before playing the semifinals

1
Number of times Juvencus has won the Cup of Harmony

2
Number of World Cup Cycles Qusmo has participated in

3
Fewest number of goals Juvencus has scored in each of their past three matches

4
Number of matches in which Squornshelan Remnant States was deadlocked after ninety minutes in Cup of Harmony 73

5
Length of Qusmo’s current winning streak

6
Number of matches played in Cup of Harmony 73 by S.R.S., the only nation to play a different number of matches than every other nation in the tournament

7
Number of Cup of Harmony matches Qusmo has won, in addition to two draws & no losses

8
Number of matches in Cup of Harmony 73 which have ended 1-0 after ninety minutes, half of which Qusmo have won

9
Number of knockout round matches in Cup of Harmony 73 which have been decided by a single goal

10
Number of goals Juvencus has scored in their past three matches

11
Number of players on a football pitch (from a single team [during matches {usually}])

12
The number twenty-one backwards

13
Number of goals Jeruselem has scored thus far in Cup of Harmony 73, more than any other nation

14
Length of Qusmo’s current competitive unbeaten streak

15
Edition of first World Cup final Squornshelous played in

16
Number of teams which played in the Round of Sixteen of Cup of Harmony 73

17
Number of teams which advanced out of the Group Stage of Cup of Harmony 73

18
Number of draws in the Group Stage of Cup of Harmony 73

19
Number of matches which were separated by exactly one goal in the Group Stage of Cup of Harmony 73

20
Number of matches which have been deadlocked after 90 minutes thus far in Cup of Harmony 73

21
The number twelve backwards

22
Difference between the number of goals scored in the highest- & lowest-scoring groups in Cup of Harmony (Groups F & A, respectively)

23
Most common size of teams’ rosters at Cup of Harmony 73

24
Edition of the World Cup in which Krytenia first finished third

25
Number of letters in “Squornshelan Remnant States”

26
The number you get if you add two teams of eleven & four officials (& do your maths correctly)

27
The number you get if you take three to the power of three (& do your maths correctly)

28
Number of matches separated by exactly one goal this CoH thus far

29
Edition of the World Cup in which Krytenia second finished third

30
The number thirty

31
Edition of the World Cup that Squornshelous won

32
Edition of the World Cup that Jeruselem placed as runner-up

33
Where Qusmo hopes to be in world football

This concludes this edition of Sig Figs. As always, Sig Figs is brought to you by maths. Maths: you hate it. & if you don’t, you do now.

Juvencus v. Qusmo
Wild Grounds, Everfree, Equestrian States
33 Juvencus
Advanced to Semifinals with 3-2 Quarterfinal win over 120 Mytanija (1st in Group C, with 5 points; 1-0 (a.e.t.) Round of Sixteen win over Geisenfried)
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 4-1 Round of Sixteen win over 52 Taeshan (1st in Group A, with 7 points)
2nd in Group B - 4 points (1-1-1) v. Qusmo, East Belzaria, & Krytenia (±0, 5-5)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 2nd in Group 2 - 38 points, 11-5-2 (+24, 45-21)
11 points behind Group 2 winners Cosumar (4th in World Cup Group H, with 3 points)
Lost 4-7 (1-1, 3-6) in playoff to Audioslavia (4th in World Cup Group G, with 2 points)
Other Group 2 Cup of Harmony teams:
The Macabees (finished 4 points ahead; 3rd in Group H, with 4 points)
Saint Émelie (finished 10 points ahead; 3rd in Group A, with 1 point)
Recent results: 3rd in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 4 & Group Stage in World Cup 80

57 Qusmo
Advanced to Semifinals with a 1-0 Quarterfinal win over 99 Squornshelan Remnant States (2nd in Group C, 3 points; 4-2 playoff win over Acronius; 3-2 (a.e.t.) Round of Sixteen win over Abanhfleft
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 1-0 Round of Sixteen win over 65 New Lusitania (2nd in Group A, with 7 points)
1st in Group B - 9 points (3-0-0) v. Juvencus, East Belzaria, & Krytenia (+3, 6-3)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 9 - 35 points, 10-5-3 (+21, 30-9)
6 points behind Group 9 winners Valanora (3rd in World Cup Group D, with 4 points)
4 points behind Group 9 runners-up Polkopia (did not qualify; 4th in Cup of Harmony Group F, with 1 point)
Other Group 9 Cup of Harmony teams:
Eastfield Lodge (finished 1 point ahead; 1st in Group F, with 6 points; lost 0-1 in Round of Sixteen match v. Kelssek)
Karulicja (finished 10 points ahead; 2nd in Group G, with 4 points; lost 1-5 in Round of Sixteen match v. Jeruselem)
Recent results: 7th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 11 & Round of Sixteen in Cup of Harmony 72
Prediction: Juvencus

Tinhampton v. Jeruselem
Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights, Cassadaigua
56 Tinhampton
Advanced to Semifinals with a 2-1 Quarterfinal win over 81 Main Nation Ministry (2nd in Group H, with 5 points; 3-2 Round of Sixteen win over Savojarna)
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 2-0 Round of Sixteen win over 63 South Toronto (2nd in Group F, with 6 points)
1st in Group E - 9 points (3-0-0) v. Kelssek, Freeport, & Beepee (+6, 6-0)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 16 - 40 points, 13-1-4 (+18, 27-9)
3 points behind Group 16 winners Brenecia (1st in World Cup Group H, with 7 points; lost 0-1 in Round of Sixteen match v. Eura)
7 points behind Group 16 runners-up Cassadaigua (qualified via playoff; 2nd in World Cup Group D, with 4 points; lost 1-3 in Round of Sixteen match v. Ethane)
Other Group 16 Cup of Harmony teams: None
Recent results: 5th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 3; not invited to Cup of Harmony 72

54 Jeruselem
Advanced to Semifinals with a 2-1 Quarterfinal win over 120 Kelssek (2nd in Group E, with 6 points; 1-0 Round of Sixteen win over Eastfield Lodge)
Advanced to Quarterfinals with a 5-1 Round of Sixteen win over 130 Karulicja (2nd in Group G, with 4 points)
1st in Group H - 6 points (2-0-1) v. Main Nation Ministry, The Macabees, & Oberour Ar Moro (+1, 6-5)
World Cup 81 Qualifying: 3rd in Group 11 - 36 points, 11-3-4 (+15, 44-29)
11 points behind Group 11 winners Mriin (3rd in World Cup Group H, with 3 points)
1 points behind Group 11 runners-up Abanhfleft (did not qualify; 1st in Cup of Harmony Group D, with 5 points; lost 2-3 (a.e.t.) in Round of Sixteen match v. Squornshelan Remnant States)
Other Group 11 Cup of Harmony teams:
Darkmania (finished 3 points ahead; 4th in Group D, with 2 points)
Dreamplanet (finished 4 points ahead; 3rd in Group F, with 4 points)
Recent results: 5th in World Cup 80 Qualifying Group 10 & Group Stage in Cup of Harmony 72
Prediction: Tinhampton

Cup of Harmony 73
Quarterfinals Results

Qusmo 1–0 Squornshelan Remnant States
at Diamond Park in Stalliongrad, EQS

QNT advances to historic Cup of Harmony semifinal
Qusmo 1–0 Squornshelan Remnant States
Shady Grove, Whitetail, Equestrian States
GK  Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
CB  Yelto-Alfan Ono
CB  Zenon-Gerol Kal
CM  Yamaj-Blonz Jok
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
AM  Ilinx-Vulav Ixi
LM  Helek-Nenzi Ono
71’ Yoltz-Tlanx Sal
RM  Ilinx-Iblix Tla
71’ Nirlo-Betva Uzo
SS  Paliv-Xilit Max (61’)
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol
77’ Prant-Pertz Gor

by **Equestrian States** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:18 pm

Cup of Harmony 73
Groups A-D :: Semifinal Result

Juvencus 3–1 Qusmo

Grand Regal Stadium in Canterlot, EQS

Cup of Harmony 73 :: Final

Juvencus vs. Tinhampton

Royal Equestria Stadium in Canterlot, EQS

Third Place Playoff

Qusmo vs. Jeruselem

Concord Heights Stadium in Concord Heights, CDG

by **Juvencus** » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:20 am

Juvencus 3-1 Qusmo

TOUCH OF VICTORY! GLI ATTACCANTI ADVANCES TO SECOND STRAIGHT CUP OF HARMONY FINAL!

Juvencus advances to the Cup of Harmony final for the second straight time after winning the revenge match against Qusmo

GRAND REGAL STADIUM, CANTERLOT Last night's semi-final match against Qusmo is one to be written in gold letters in Juven football history, as the semi-final bout ended in the gli attaccanti prevailing over the Qusmi'y squad with a 3-1 victory which allowed the team to qualify for a second straight Cup of Harmony final.

The first half was a realtively quiet one(for a match involving the gli attaccanti), as the Qusmi'y had the possession of the ball for the majority of the time, without being able to find an opening through the Juven defence, which despite it's indisciplined nature was more focused this time around, having learnt their lesson from the previous clash against Qusmo. However a lightning quick counter-attack at the 22nd minute was able to set the pace for the gli attaccanti this match, as a long range Laterza shot hit the crossbar. Soon after, a through-ball from Martell was able to find Silvestri with his shot being blocked by Xynat-Evela. They(the Qusmi'y) went on the counter-attack soon after, with a Gavax-Nenzi shot from the 26-meter range being saved by an incredible leap by Bulgari. A barrage of opportunities from the gli attaccanti followed, only to not find net. On the 35th minute, a cannonball from Silvestri was saved by the keeper for a corner. On the corner that followed, the ball was badly removed from the big box and Ibarra hit the ball with all the strength he had to score the first one for the gli attaccanti. The half-time ended in favor of the gli attaccanti, winning 1-0.

The second half began with the same pace as the first one had ended, the gli attaccanti was hungry for goal and it surely delivered on that early on as an incredibly accurate long ball from Maçon was able to find Martell at a favorable position, with the latter hitting the finesse shot to give a 2-goal lead for the gli attaccant. However, the Qusmi'y had not quit and soon enough they started bombarding the Juven side with shots that either barely missed were saved and cleared off. A strong Paliv-Xilit shot hit the crossbar at the 67th minute. All of this pressure definitely worked in favor of the Qusmi'y as a great through-ball from Gavax-Nenzi was able to find Xilit-Zaxac in a great spot for a good finish, which is exactly what he did. However this was the last of Qusmo in this game since the gli attaccanti managed to score another one to seal the deal, another long ball from Maçon was able to find Silvestri this time with "il artigliere" managing to stick the ball to the net. With this victory against an impressing Qusmo side, the gli attaccanti's heading to the Royal Equestrian Stadium against Tinhampton with its heads up and with hopes of bringing a 2nd Cup of Harmony back to Pomena.

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi
CB:Izotz Ibarra(Goal 36')
CDM:Firmino Maçon(Assists 54', 79')
CDM:Clovis Bret
RM:Hugo Grec(Subbed off for Vespasien Tanzi, 62')
LM:Tore Christian
LF:Joaquim Martell(Goal 54')
RF:Demetro Laterza(Subbed off for Oriol Vives, 59')
CF:Santo Silvestri(Goal 79')

Qusmo XI:
GK:Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB:Cunix-Betva Tla
CB:Zenon-Gerol Kal
CB:Ozolx-Alfan Ixi
CDM:Yunal-Julad Waz(Subbed off for Yelto-Alfan Ono, 74')
CM:Ilinx-Kepex Zev
RM:Forzu-Ralox Kal
LM:Kynda-Sevet Pec
CAM:Gavax-Nenzi Abe(Assist 71')
CF:Paliv-Xilit Max
CF:Xilit-Zaxac Yol(Goal 71')

by **Tinhampton** » Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:13 pm

OOC 1: These were the seven (non-Matrix) cultural references, high and low, in Take The Brown Pill, ordered from first to last appearance: Mark 13:32, Macbeth by William Shakespeare, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (as a title only, the rest being... more reference-y references), Peer Gynt by Henrik Ibsen, The History Boys by Alan Bennett, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder, and Parklife by Blur.

OOC 2: This RP was edited on 15th October 2021 to add - at long last - the list of subjects in which Julia Atherton got a Grade 3 at school. Sorry, EQS

*
the Tinhamptonian National Hoofball Team - The Miners
under the auspices of the Tinhampton Hoofball Association
*
THA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 0-0 ~~Crypto FC~~ ~~Jeru FC~~ Jeruselem
(0-0 after extra time; Tinhampton win 2-1 on penalties)
Venue: Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights, Cassadaigua
*

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (4-1-4-1): 16. Julia ATHERTON (GK) (C), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Davina SALT, 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 6. Mohamed al-KHAZR, 7. Jacob NORTH, 8. Louise WHITBREAD, 9. Fetakela MANUTA, 10. Priscilla EVANS
Jeruselem (4-4-2): Eamon EOS (GK), Neo ANTMINE, Arum NUXON, Karlie SIMON, Alexa NEM, Vera VERGA, Raymond RIPPLE, Denny DASH, Geo DA SILVA, Jack MAZZONI, Nina NANO (née RAIBLOCKS)
Unable to play: None

GOALS: None
CARDS: Yellow: Evan MORRIS 42'38'' (TIN), Aihlo VATUNSKA 53'25'' (TIN), Nathaniel GEORGE 95'32'' (TIN), Davina SALT 104'21'' (TIN). Red: none
INJURIES: None
OTHER INCIDENTS: Jeruselem did not supply shirt numbers to their players. We were busy slacking off at the local pub to discern who was captaining Jeruselem. Tinhampton have made it to the FINAL of the Cup of Harmony, where they will face one of Juvencus or Qusmo. It is believed that this penalty shootout ranks among the least clinical in football history (domestic or international), with only three out of sixty-two(!) penalty kicks scored, a measly 4.84% conversion rate.

Live Everfree and Die Hard
Chapter 1: The Sheep Awakens
OOC: Please read Take The Brown Pill for some context about what's going on below.

Atherton took the brown pill out of the hand of the Mayor emeritus. She just had to: she was a Tinhamptonian and she simply couldn't let Tinhampton down, not least in front of somebody of that capacity. Of course it had to be taken, but who was she to do something about the city's record?
...none other than the team captain and goalkeeper, of course.
She could barely strive in vain to stuff it down her throat, but forced it out of limbo and through the wrong end of her body some while later. Another attempt, and not so. Another attempt, and still failing to do so.
"Wait, this is too hard to swallow?" snarkily inquired Anderson, who reluctantly went on to split it in two and drop the two pieces - both now with a larger surface area - into the water itself, where they both simultaneously disintegrated on demand.
Almost immediately after having it being forced down her throat, Atherton went into relapse and was carted out of the window by the Deputy Mayor. "Well, she was a good friend. I will not forget her."

ↂ ↂ ↂ ↂ ↂ

Julia Atherton woke up one day later to find herself in the completely different surroundings of the Equestrian States - or, to be more precise, in a pub toilet in Everfree, in the midst of the eponymous forest and the Stampede River ("Wonderfully-named places, if I'm being honest," she was to note slightly later).
She picked herself up and looked down to find that she was wearing a skirt of some description, which she had not done for several years outside of the Ladies' Nights in the presumably less respectable establishments of Tinhampton. A while later, in front of the mirror, her smart business look was completely at odds with her traditional expectations of something more distinctly... working-class, so to speak. Surely Lydia Anderson must have rocked this look at some point in time, if not multiple times?
Atherton had barely turned away from the mirror when she picked up imminent clicking and clacking, much the same as had been the case in the dominion of Queen Cassie. "Who are you?" she wondered upon swiftly turning around.
The pony shook his - or her, it was barely possible to distinguish - head.
"Hmmm... more Tinhamptonian conversation starters - what is it like out there?"
"The windows are bricked up over here. I'm afraid I couldn't possibly tell you."
"WHY THE HELL AM I EVEN HERE?"
"Keep calm, Julia! Now there's a thought: You are 24 years old, are five foot and nine inches tall, weigh a good... huh, nine-and-a-bit stone - maybe just about ten, I've somehow forgotten - average body mass index, no major problems except a couple of broken fingers from ten years ago or thereabouts. Your Municipal Certificate results were a Grade T in Physical Education, Grade 1s in Biology and Relations - which is essentially an introduction to Tinhampton and the wider world, I love me a good patriot or two - Grade 2s in English, Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics, Grade 3s in Music and Design Technology, one Grade 4 in what was then Information Technology but now is referred to as Computing, no Grade 5s or failures but you did manage to royally flunk your foreign lan---"
"That's because I fucking hated it! I mean, neither of us are unicorns! How was I supposed to take in all of those verb tenses?"
"Because you were told to, and you have a reputation as being a drunken imperialist outside of your nation - and possibly Cassadaigua, I haven't checked the news since the last matchday of the World Cup."
"What, really?"
"All these matches going on in Everfree and I just let them whoosh past me head. Now: Biology, Relations, English, Maths, the Three Sciences and IT were all mandatory subjects: the quintessential Tinhamptonian baccalaureate, so to speak, one of the arts, one of the technologies, one of the languages and at least one, more often two, free choices - which, in your case, happened to be PE, leading to what somehow became a first-class Sports Science degree at Tinhampton between 2012 and 2015, despite their never being made aware of eight marks being taken off that question on some accountant working with quartic equations. Surprisingly, it was at Coastal, not Vertos, as you already know."
"Have you been stalking me all this time? I mean, I had a pint of beer with one of the Freeporter zebras, but she was a zebra, not a flipping---a flipping pony!"
The pony shook its head and brandished the aforementioned maths problem in front of her eyes:

TINHAMPTON CERTIFICATE - MATHS PAPER 2*, QUESTION 12, 2012
*twelve out of one-hundred fifty marks

5This question is about finding roots to polynomials, and is worth TWELVE marks in total.
Lydia is an accountant working for a major company in Tinhampton that projects to make a profit this year. She wishes to calculate the company's profit in millions of Tinhamptonian Dollars using the formula
38(√1,093)x⁴ - 7,381x³ + 21(√1,984)x² - 1,710x
[6 marks]
a. One of the values of x is 0. Calculate the three other values of x, and hence identify the company's projected profit margin.
[6 marks]
b. In fact, the company will not make a profit this year. Suggest a revision to Lydia's formula, and hence identify the company's projected loss.

END PAPER
© 2012 the Tinhamptonian Ministry of Education. All rights reserved.
To ensure a fair examination to everybody, you may find our sources online at certificate.gov.ti/moreinfo/sources/2012 from the 1st of July 2012 onwards.

"Is your name Lydia Anderson? Tell me this now, please!"
"I... have absolutely no idea who she is. I can't possibly say if it's a coincidence, but the name of the accountant is Lydia. Guess what Gladom Newion was called under Tinhamptonian rule? New Lydia. And guess where those dastardly bastards on a certain nation simulation game that I - unlike Chancellor Ibrahimovic - shall not name here for obvious reasons called the place where they first minted gold coins? Lydia, of course. It wasn't quite gold as such, it---the coins was made out of electrum, and the first ever football match played by a Tinhamptonian national representative team was against Electrum. Of course, the real financial content occurs in Papers 1 and 3, but I'm not telling anybody, OK?"
"She was the Mayor of Tinhampton and told me that they sent out imposters in their places to get arrested in order to get John Price arrested - I mean, I got the first bit, the second was just implied by meself!"
"Hmmm... impostors, you say?" To this, Atherton was left utterly gobsmacked.
"Now let me talk you through," answered the pony, "why you, and not Eamon EOS or whoever captains Jeruselem, are lying down here in the loo today..."

ↈ ↈ ↈ ↈ ↈ

"You see," it continued, "when you took the brown pill, you fully digested it, but it released a compound that dulled you into sleep for the next twelve hours. In that time, you were dumped in the middle of the Stampede, before being thrown here right before you woke up. Ever wondered why you happen to be wearing a skirt for the first time in a couple of years?"
"Because it's... a bit safer to do so here?"
"It's not safe, for crying out loud, you're in Everfree!"
"And why am I not in Canterlot or Concord Heights?"
"That's where we towed you, ma'am. Whilst that was going on, you were substituted by an imposter Atherton, listed officially as Julia herself, who saved no less than a dozen penalties against Jeruselem - perhaps more, I've been told. That's the only news I've been made aware of vis-a-vis the Harmony Thingy. Mrs Anderson also told me that you pointed to yourself..."
"When she was talking about successful goals," they said in unison.
"That being said," noted Atherton, "I did score from 80 yards out against Refinery Hills on the penultimate day of last season. Or first season, depending on where you start counting from!"
"Hmmm... I don't recall you being this jovial before," complained the pony.
"Yes, I'll probably become angry if you seriously cross me, or if I happen to be highly impassioned there and then... highly impassioned? I wonder what happened to what was going to happen with our conversation about success."
"I think that Lydia promised that to you. Ah, yes - it was Lydia Anderson who had the little conversation with you earlier on, which leads us back to electrum, which makes me think of a mixture of gold and silver - the Cup of Harmony... final, weren't it?"
"Yeah, of course it is or else I wouldn't be here," agreed Atherton.
"As part of your success, in your dreams---"
"YOU CREEPY BASTARD!"
"Obviously nobody ever told you about the magic we have here in the Equestrian States, Julia. I did all of this before you came here. All the doors are locked, all the windows are barred down, how else do you think either of us even got here? Anyway, whilst you were dreaming, you unintentionally foresaw the future of Tinhamptonian football as we know it."
"In my time or theirs? I barely recall it!"
"It never really said. As a result of imposter Atherton proving the hero against Jeruselem, Tinhampton make it to the Cup of Harmony Final. For obvious reasons, their fate here remains unclear and yet simultaneously located in the rubber chicken department of the basement of the Royal Equestria Stadium, which is another part of the reason why they chose to put you in a tavern in Everfree instead of the capital city. Later down the line - as you've said and I've agreed, when this happens is unknown - Tinhampton later rise to the top position in the World Cup Committee Rankings and win the big tournament at least once."
"Do they screw up at any point?"
"Don't be silly, we've passed that phase by now!"
"Of course, it could be worse. Let me tell you about another news article from the Cup of Harmony that I'd like to make you aware of," noted Atherton whilst barely managing to lash out a hitherto-unseen newspaper from Juvencus. "Juvencus - yeah, we're playing them in the final, they claim to have made their second consecutive one when it was actually between Mercedini and Audioslavia last time. They're probably thinking of two in three instead! Crazy times we live in, am I right or what?"
"Yes, and it could have been much wackier. Do you want to see what would have happened had you took the pink pill instead, Julia?" To this, she grudgingly nodded her head.

TO BE CONTINUED

by **Tinhampton** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:07 pm

OOC: Yes, the intermingling of the what-if scenario and the "SCHOOL CHARGING POLICY" in this roleplay is intentional. Little Timmy Waters is, like, totally not a shitty ripoff of Thomas Aquinas

Live Everfree and Die Hard
Chapter 2: Meanwhile, in Cassadaigua...?
Past episodes: Take The Brown Pill (technically part of Forays of Folly), A Sheep Awakens

As if out of nowhere, the pony brandished a piece of paper with writing on both sides - "I cannot tell a lie, Julia" - from which the Tinhamptonian keeper began to read:

Atherton took the pink pill out of the hand of the Mayor emeritus. She just had to: she was a Tinhamptonian and she knew what Tinhampton's expectations were, and she doubted she could do much about it. Of course it had to be taken, but who was she to do something about the city's record?
...none other than the team captain and goalkeeper, of course.
She could barely strive in vain to stuff it down her throat, but forced it out of limbo and through the wrong end of her body some while later. Another attempt, and not so. Another attempt, and still failing to do so.
"Wait, this is too hard to swallow?" snarkily inquired Anderson, who reluctantly went on to split it in two and drop the two pieces - both now with a larger surface area - into the water itself, where they both simultaneously disintegrated on demand.
Almost immediately after having it being forced down her throat, Atherton went into relapse and was carted out of the window by the Deputy Mayor.
"Well, she was a good friend. I will not forget her."

ↀ ↀ ↀ ↀ ↀ

Julia Atherton woke up one day later to find herself in the worryingly familiar climes of Cassadaigua - or, to be more precise, at the counter in a pub in Concord Heights, in the midst of all the hustle and bustle inherent in the system. Atherton had barely turned away from the bartender when she picked up imminent clicking and clacking, much the same as had been the case in the dressing room. "Who are you?" she wondered upon swiftly turning around.
The mysterious figure shook his - or her, it was barely possible to distinguish - head.
"Hmmm... more Tinhamptonian conversation starters - what is it like out there?"
"Heh, not that bad, although we are in Cassadaigua after all. All good and clear, although some tree with a big hard woody fell on a whackjob near Commerce---Concord Heights Central station. All trains are off for the next five days, although you won't need them."
"Wait, what on earth's happened to me? Who the hell am I talking to?"
"Keep calm, Julia! Now there's a thought: Alcohol. See the glass of Proper Miner's you have in your hand? Yes, that's going to be good enough to keep you well and motivated for the journey ahead. But surely..."
"Yeah, but I can't fucking drive like this! I mean, neither of us are above the law! How am I supposed to take in all of the implication?"
"Because you were told to, and you have a reputation as being a drunken imperialist over here. Why don't you consolidate it?"
"What, really?"
"Yes, you know me well. I'm infamous for giving out... let's just say hints and tips to Tinhamptonians. Just recently, I convinced four Tinhamptonians not to vaccinate their children due to mercury contamination poisoning!"
"Have you been stalking me all this time? I mean, I had a pint of beer with one of the Freeporter zebras, but she was a zebra, not a flipping---a flipping pony!"
The figure shook its head and brandished an article concerning the aforementioned controversy in front of her eyes. Funnily enough, it was penned by Lydia Gould.
"Fuck it, I don't have the time," responded Atherton, who downed the pint as the shady personage had earlier politely requested her to do, before swiftly breaking away from the inn.
Somewhere in the distance, a voice called out: "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN, YOU STUPID CHICKENSHIT!"

ↂ ↂ ↂ ↂ ↂ

Never mind that she had stolen somebody else's pint of beer and was about to take in the sights and sounds of another somebody else's car, but Atherton never really bothered about these kinds of matters. After all, she did have to do whatever she could for a good life, and if that meant engaging in the dark arts of keying, theft and drunk-driving to make her way, that would be the case.
Her fist had barely been sprawled back when she was tapped on the pelvis by a likewise shady man. "My name," he declared, "is Little Timmy Waters."
To this, she shrugged. "I come here to warn you today," responded Waters, "about the dangers you face in stealing that woman's car!" To that, she shrugged again.
"Take heed, my friend: You are being decieved into an apparent good! You may be entirely convinced that you are benefitting yourself and having a good time, but you fail to contemplate the nature of your theft!" What were apparent goods and what the hell is contemplation, anyway? thought Atherton.
"Doing bad for good reasons is not good. Intentions matter, of course, but far from as important as the actions themselves are. Worship Margaret, learn about Margaret, defend those who defend Margaret, create little Margaret-loving babies, live in a society that enables you to support Margaret, and Margaret will love you back! Remind me, what's the Latin for 'duty' again?"
Atherton flipped the bird at Little Timmy Waters, who also sped off from the crime scene for rather less nefarious purposes, before finally letting rip and taking charge. Was he a hallucination, the real deal, or simply her inner conscience from Municipal Certificate Relations? It was impossible to tell.
Upon squeezing in, whoever's car that was must have been regretting the whole keyless entry shenanigans that surrounded the engineering and construction of all-too-many vehicles these days, easily exploited for Atherton's own purposes. She reversed from the parking lot, took the first (and sole) right, and then another one to hop onto some vaguely-populated city-centre road. So far, so not-so-crappy.
Upon heading over there, all seemed well and fine, when she suddenly lost control of the steering wheel instantaneously, then she started going at variable speeds, then when she started to lose her focus and stop concentrating and then when she veered over to the left hand side of the road and then when she went full speeed ahead and thought itw as a motorway then when she lost control again thenwhensheforgotwherethehandbrakewasthenwhenshe veeredontothesidewalkthenwhenshe-------

ↈ ↈ ↈ ↈ ↈ

Atherton had suffered a couple of wounds to her mind, body and soul; half a dozen others could not count themselves so lucky. Leave it to some otherwise anonymous Cassadagan, that being said, to cart her body out of the car, onto the sidewalk, and ultimately in the back of some blaring multicoloured cuboid-shaped contraption.
She had forgotten entirely what had caused this utterly maniacal incident, but had already vowed to herself to bring that bastard to justice when it just so happened, a couple of weeks later, that her wrists found themselves amply contrained in a couple of metallic slots whilst attempting to leave the hospital a week or so later.
There was a certain nation simulation game that I - unlike Chancellor Ibrahimovic - shall not name here for obvious reasons, within which was a political prisoner who wrote something along the lines of "we are all the individual centres of our universes, and that universe is broken when they arrest you." OK, I've forgotten the exact words, but it seemed to apply well to Atherton (who, when we crossed paths for the final time, was unable to identify a single strand of Romantic philosophy). Some time later, she was convicted of murdering six people through drunken driving.
"I, the High Executioneer of Concord Heights... hereby order Miss Julia Atherton, originally of Tinhampton, Tinhampton, to be taken hence from these chambers of jurisdiction to whence she shall be executed without miscellaneous recourse at four o'clock the next afternoon. Let it be written, and may Margaret save Queen Cassie..."
So reverberated the chamber, echoed by the dragging of feet a good thousand yards or two down the road a while later. taken hence from these chambers of jurisdiction to whence she shall be executed without miscellaneous recourse at four o'clock the next afternoon. Let it be written, and may Margaret save Queen Cassie...
The streets - even that street - were packed filled with hundreds upon hundreds of the pungent, the fantastical, and those simply curious to work out what happened next, few of them - owing to the whole shenanigans at that same city on the last day of World Cup qualification - eagerly awaiting that moment. taken hence from these chambers of jurisdiction to whence she shall be executed without miscellaneous recourse at four o'clock the next afternoon. Let it be written, and may Margaret save Queen Cassie...
Upon that point, Atherton was craned upwards and separated from certain armageddon only by a few tightly-bound strings, themselves tightly-bound with other pieces of string, and a small hinged fabrication that paired up to create the perfect storm. All of this was going on whilst the average Tinhamptonian was enjoying a belated lunch, or perhaps slacking off with fellow work friends and informal acquaintances. taken hence from these chambers of jurisdiction to whence she shall be executed without miscellaneous recourse at four o'clock the next afternoon. Let it be written, and may Margaret save Queen Cassie...
Seconds followed, then minutes, and always threatening to seep through into the hours, when it happened. There was a small creak, but nothing happened. Nobody was standing on the oakwood floor. In fact, a certain woman was still above it. That a man of some repute was making his way in the direction of the grand mise en scene.
It was Martin North: The Silo Guy. The Silo Guy who had threatened to annihilate Tinhampton with a few creatively-designed grain silos, the Silo Guy who forced Tinhampton into acquiring nuclear weapons of their own, the Silo Guy who was supposed to be living in some Maggieforsaken dictatorial hellhole - until now, that is.
And to think he was barely lugging about a sword by this point.
Clack. Clack. Clack. "Your nation is still toast." At this point, the operator gave up and threw herself into the crowd, perhaps hoping to sort out the cataclysmic trophy catastrophe as soon as possible. It had been unholstered, and regally so, for it shone with the glare of a thousand and ninety-three bronze medals.
Slowly, but surely, as the blade found its way across her jugular veins - yes, hers, the same woman who had toiled for so long only to screw up when her country needed her the most, missile upon missile upon missile was pummeled, pelleted, and projected in the shape of a parabola towards Tinhampton.
A minute or two later, she - and, by extension, Madame Refinery, the Tin City's national personification - was hanging on the line. To much surprise, North let fly at the fucking rope. The death of Atherton was quickened. The annihilation of Tinhampton was imminent. By the time our poor Dagan trapdoor-opener-in-chief arrived on the scene, The Silo Guy had disappeared. Tinhampton itself, by extension, had not just been utterly annihilated but rendered uninhabitable for an indefinite period of time. Thanks to the hands (and ears) of one woman, the lives of three-hundred-and-twenty thousand people had been taken.
Tinhampton was still toast. We can, for once, blame the goalie
SCHOOL CHARGING POLICY for OUR TRIP:
for this happening.

As our visit to ROYAL EQUESTRIA STADIUM, CANTERLOT is not occuring to fulfil a need in the municipal curriculum, and because our school regrettably does not have adequate funds for every prospective student to go
taken hence from these chambers of jurisdiction to whence she shall be executed without miscellaneous recourse at four o'clock the next afternoon. Let it be written, and may Margaret save Queen Cassie...
for free (for more information, visit DownWithCuts.ti), we will require you to make a payment of 50 Tinhamptonian dol
THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
-lars. In addition, we will require you to complete a Parental Consent Form permitting your child to go on this trip, which has also been attached to thi

The paper was torn off a good two-and-a-half inches or so from the top, with another inch in the middle and another one still bringing up the bottom of the barrel yet there was completely visible writing scrawled all over its opposite side. That Atherton rolled her eyes at the sheer thought of it all was hardly the grandest surprise of the day.
"Well, that's a bit crap, although I suppose you could say that about these toilets! Now I wonder: How do we get out of these forsaken loos and back into the proper pub in Everfree I happen to dwell within right now?"

TO BE CONTINUED

Cup of Harmony 73 - Everything Thread

CoH73 Ro16

CoH73 QF

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