Title: Fishy Business
The Issue: Many fish populations off the coast of @@NAME@@ have been decreasing in number. Marine analysts report it's a combination of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ activity, climate change, rogue algae plumes, sea monsters and, in particular, disruption of the food chain caused by an uptick in overfishing just outside @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters — by the remote nation of Wezeltonia.
Validity: All
Option 1: "Those Wezeltonians are destroying our marine life!" moans irritable marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting a salmon on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. This is biological warfare! I think. Deploy naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our massive warship guns against their puny little fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned sailors are greeted with napalm
Validity: Not vegetarian
Option 2a: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a coastal fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe give your fishermen a nice tax break, and scrap all those restrictions sinking our businesses."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave
Validity: Vegetarian
Option 2b: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a former fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish in likely violation of mandated vegetarianism. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe let us start catching and selling fish for consumption."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave
Option 3: "This problem isn't Wezeltonia's, it's ours!" cries environmental preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while attempting to save the fish, only for it to fall apart on your lap. "We must save our own ecosystem by regulating and monitoring sea pollution, limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots, and reducing the number of damn cruise ships plaguing the waters. Lead by example, and take responsibility for what is probably at least thirty-five percent our problem!"
[effect] marine vessels have been sent to landfills due to not meeting environmental standards