[LAST CALL] Fishy Business

[Jutsa]

Hmm... my third watery foreign politics draft in a row. Fishy.

Title: Fishy Business
The Issue: Many fish populations off the coast of @@NAME@@ have been decreasing in number. Marine analysts report it's a combination of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ activity, climate change, rogue algae plumes, sea monsters and, in particular, disruption of the food chain caused by an uptick in overfishing just outside @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters — by the remote nation of Wezeltonia.
Validity: All

Option 1: "Those Wezeltonians are destroying our marine life!" moans irritable marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting a salmon on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. This is biological warfare! I think. Deploy naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our massive warship guns against their puny little fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Not vegetarian
Option 2a: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a coastal fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe give your fishermen a nice tax break, and scrap all those restrictions sinking our businesses."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave

Validity: Vegetarian
Option 2b: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a former fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish in likely violation of mandated vegetarianism. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe let us start catching and selling fish for consumption."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave

Option 3: "This problem isn't Wezeltonia's, it's ours!" cries environmental preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while attempting to save the fish, only for it to fall apart on your lap. "We must save our own ecosystem by regulating and monitoring sea pollution, limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots, and reducing the number of damn cruise ships plaguing the waters. Lead by example, and take responsibility for what is probably at least thirty-five percent our problem!"
[effect] marine vessels have been sent to landfills due to not meeting environmental standards

Title: Fishy Business
The Issue: Many fish populations off the coast of @@NAME@@ have been decreasing in number. Marine analysts report it's a combination of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ activity, climate change, rogue algae plumes, sea monsters and, in particular, disruption of the food chain caused by an uptick in overfishing — by the remote nation of Wezeltonia.
Validity: All

Option 1: "Those Wezeltonians are fishing just beyond our aquatic territory," moans marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting a salmon on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. Deploy naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our missiles against their puny fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Not vegetarian
Option 2a: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a coastal fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe give your fishermen a nice tax break, and scrap all those restrictions sinking our businesses."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave

Validity: Vegetarian
Option 2b: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a former fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish in likely violation of mandated vegetarianism. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe let us start catching and selling fish for consumption."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so-watery grave

Option 3: "This problem isn't Wezeltonia's, it's ours!" cries environmental preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while attempting to save the fish, only for it to fall apart on your lap. "We must save our own ecosystem by regulating and monitoring sea pollution, limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots, and reducing the amount of damn cruise ships plaguing the waters. Lead by example, and take responsibility for what is probably at least thirty-five percent our problem!"
[effect] swimming is prohibited

Title: Fishy Business
The Issue: Many fish populations off the coast of @@NAME@@ have been decreasing in number. Marine analysts report it's a combination of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ activity, climate change, rogue algae plumes, sea monsters and, in particular, disruption of the food chain caused by an uptick in overfishing — by the remote nation of Wezeltonia.
Validity: All

Validity: Not autarky
Option 1a: "Those Wezeltonians are fishing just beyond our aquatic territory," moans marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting a salmon on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. Threaten them with trade sanctions and deploy naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our missiles against their puny fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned foreign sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Autarky
Option 1b: "Those Wezeltonians are fishing just beyond our aquatic territory," moans marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting a salmon on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. Threaten them with trade sanctions! ... Wait, nevermind, we don't trade with them, or anyone. Well then, let's deploy some naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our missiles against their puny fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned foreign sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Not vegetarian
Option 2a: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a coastal fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe give your fishermen a nice tax break, and scrap all those restrictions sinking our businesses."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so watery grave

Validity: Vegetarian
Option 2b: "Do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a former fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish in likely violation of mandated vegetarianism. "Say we do that. Then Macronesia muscles in. Then our sea-faring allies. And can you blame them? We have such nice fishing waters because we're not using them. If you want to keep them out of our hair, then maybe let us start catching and selling fish for consumption."
[effect] marine ecosystems have been sent to a not-so watery grave

Option 3: "This problem isn't Wezeltonia's, it's ours!" cries environmental preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while attempting to save the fish, only for it to fall apart on your lap. "Okay, yes, Wezeltonia is partly to blame, but we're not going to change their behavior until we lead by example! We could save our own ecosystem by regulating and monitoring sea pollution, limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots, and reducing the amount of damn cruise ships plaguing the waters. Take responsibility for what is probably at least thirty-five percent our problem!"
[effect] swimming is prohibited

Title: Fishy Business
The Issue: Many fish off the coast of @@NAME@@ have been decreasing in numbers. Analysts report it's a combination of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ activity, climate change, rogue algae plumes, sea monsters, and particularly in some instances, disruption of the food chain caused by overfishing — by the remote nation of Wezeltonia.
Validity: All

Validity: Not autarky
Option 1a: "Those Wezeltonians are fishing as far out as just beyond our aquatic territory," moans marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting an eel on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. Threaten them with trade sanctions and deploy naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our missiles against their puny fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned foreign sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Autarky
Option 1b: "Those Wezeltonians are fishing as far out as just beyond our aquatic territory," moans marine researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@, dissecting an eel on your desk. "It doesn't matter how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow. Threaten them with trade sanctions! ... Wait, nevermind, we don't trade with them, or anyone. Well then, let's deploy some naval vessels outside our territory. We'll see who's laughing when we size up our missiles against their puny fishing boats!"
[effect] marooned foreign sailors are greeted with napalm

Validity: Not vegetarian
Option 2a: "You can't do that — do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a coastal fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish. "Look, I get there's this whole thing about protecting the environment or something, but let Wezeltonia do what they want to do. If you want to send them a message, maybe subsidize our marines to go out near Wezeltonian territory to fish for some of those delicacies we haven't had the fortune to taste yet."
[effect] personal space has been sent to a watery grave

Validity: Vegetarian
Option 2b: "You can't do that — do you really want to sour relations with a military power like Wezeltonia over a few fish?" berates a former fisherman, taking a bite out of the fish in likely violation of mandated vegetarianism. "Look, I get there's this whole thing about protecting the environment or something, but let Wezeltonia do what they want to do. If you want to send them a message, maybe let fisheries open up again so we can catch some of those delicacies by Wezeltonia that we have gone for so long without."
[effect] personal space has been sent to a watery grave

Option 3: "This problem isn't Wezeltonia's, it's ours!" cries environmental preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while attempting to save the fish, only for it to fall apart on your lap. "Okay, yes, Wezeltonia is partly to blame, but we're not going to change their behavior until we lead by example! We could save our own ecosystem by regulating and monitoring sea pollution, limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots, reducing the amount of damn cruise ships plaguing the waters. Take responsibility for what is at least thirty-five percent our problem!"
[effect] swimming is prohibited

[Trotterdam]

"It doesn't how clean we make the bathroom if someone causes the toilet to overflow."

It looks like you're missing a word here.

[effect] marooned foreign sailors are greeted with napalms

I'm pretty sure that "napalm" is a mass noun (like most materials), so it doesn't have a plural.

[Jutsa]

tiny matter be tiny and corrected.

[Electrum]

So the is a tragedy of the commons issue with an interesting twist based off a real life issue, so good find.

I think Option 2 doesn't really make too much sense. The reason why the Wezeltonians have sailed so far away from their country is presumably the fact that they have already fished in the international waters outside Wezeltonia already (just like China in real life fishing in other areas oustide of Asia).

I would suggest replacing this option with something along the lines of "why don't we fish here before the Wezeltonians do". It's a bit of a devious option but it seems like a fun one for you to write.

[Jutsa]

Oh yes, absolutely. That would 100% play into the whole "tragedy of commons" issue even better, too. I'll definitely make the modification, either tonight or tomorrow.
[worst case scenario, day after.]

[Jutsa]

Rewrote option 2(a/b), and tweaked a few things a little (clunky writing especially). I must say that I much prefer the replacement.
edit: still debating whether I should remove option 1b. Personally I much prefer a trade sanctions vs. autarky variant,
but I do seem to recall that (at least some) editors prefer less variant options wherever possible, so I'll definitely still consider it.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 3 contradicts 2b. Lead by example by not-overfishing when fishing is illegal

[Jutsa]

Hello again! Got in the mood to write a couple of drafts before remembering I had a plethora of them on here, still.

Option 3 actually doesn't contradict option 2b, since it could just as easily (and, in fact, intentionally was written to) reference trading and tourism.

[Electrum]

Rewrote option 2(a/b), and tweaked a few things a little (clunky writing especially). I must say that I much prefer the replacement.
edit: still debating whether I should remove option 1b. Personally I much prefer a trade sanctions vs. autarky variant,
but I do seem to recall that (at least some) editors prefer less variant options wherever possible, so I'll definitely still consider it.

Perhaps keep only 1b in the final draft you submit, you can reword that one definitely. Sanctions aren't usually given for these reasons after all.

Here's a crazy option idea: what about use electrofishing to encourage/catch the fish to move away from international waters towards @@NAME@@'s waters?

[Jutsa]

That's a thing?

Heck yeah, adding that as soon as I look up what the heck that is.

Also @Option 1: Yeah, honestly, that works.

[Jutsa]

Updated.

I decided to trim option 3 a fair bit, as well as option 1 (in which I removed all trade sanctions notice).

I also thought about electrofishing. Yes, I could kinda see it, but it doesn't exactly solve the problem - I mean, if you take all the fish out of the ocean and into your banks, then you end up with stupid overpopulation in one area and underpopulation in another - at what cost?

I'm not saying it'd be bad to have a silly option like that, I just think it's already at a good length and might not be beneficial to add an option like that. But I'll certainly be open to the suggestion if anyone else recommends anything - I already thought about having the fourth guy beat up the second guy for having fished a minnow out of his aquarium he brought in as a demonstration.

Edit: Self-reminder, please put this up for last-call next bump if there're no major revisions.

[Electrum]

Premise -- could you make it clear it's the international waters just outside of @@NAME@@?

Option 3 -- the effect line doesn't really follow what the environmental preacher says.

Otherwise looks good.

[Jutsa]

Many thanks, Electrum! I implemented your suggestion for the description, and changed option 1 a little following suit.

Option 3's effect line is meant to be a super-exaggerated version of option 3.
"regulating and monitoring sea pollution" >swimmers
"limiting activity by ecosystem hotspots" >anything at anywhere at any time at all
"reducing the amount of damn cruise ships" >nothing to do with this but I'm genuinely sick of these things

I could instead make it "marine vessels have been sent to landfills due to not meeting environmental standards" or something, if you'd prefer.
edit: actually ngl I like that, gonna just smedge that in there.

[Jutsa]

Another month later ( ) aaaand last call

[Sacara]

Nice draft, Jutsa! I like this one.

A couple of notes -- In option one, you talk about deploying naval vessels then next sentence you say missiles. I think you should reference something about warships instead of missiles. On option three, I think it should be "number" instead of "amount". Number refers to something you can count, while amount refers to quantities that can be measured but not really counted, per se... minor nitpick.

[Jutsa]

Thank you, Sacara. I made sure to implement both changes.

I wanted to change "warships" to "warship guns", and I also considered changing "fishing boats" to "dinghies"; though I haven't, simply on the grounds that they're a different type of boat.

I'm sure it's not the most clear thing, but there's meant to be a very subtle crude joke in there. Dinghies kinda emphasizes that joke, although, again, it's not anatomically correct.

I'll leave this up for like two more days; pretty sure this'll be my submission for the contest, simply on the grounds it's my best draft atm and it's about ready to be submitted anyway.

Edit: I also hope option 1's bad metaphor works. It's kinda meant to say "It doesn't matter how much we clean up our act if someone else is gonna make a big stink of things", but in the form of a bathroom analogy. It does feel a little clunky, but I don't know if I could streamline it any more. Let me know if this is a flush or if it just need a bit of fine tuning.