Tonight's guests: Michael Reno, Lisa Connolly, Craig Foster, and Simon Achiveal
Olivia Giroud (Host): Welcome to this Special Mid-qualification edition of Sidelines, the talk show that talks Football! Tonight we are joined by some of the most recognisable faces in Brusseldorfen football, plus a few special individuals who work behind the scenes to make it all tick!
Joining us on the panel tonight, Lisa Connolly, Sports correspondent for the Casablanca Herald. To her right, Michael Reno, sports commentator and comedian. And to my left we have panel regular, sports historian Simon Achiveal. And finally, the man of the hour, the Head Coach of Los Alrededores himself! Let’s have a big welcome for our guests!
Crowd cheers and applauds
(Host): So. We’ve reached the halfway mark of the Qualifiers. Craig. How are things in the home camp?
Craig Foster: Well. Wow.
A few crowd members cheer and whistle
Michael Reno: You sound surprised Craig!
Crowd and panel laugh
Craig: Honestly I’m bewildered. Not at the team’s performances, though it goes without saying that they have been incredible. Really just bewildered at how much we’ve done in such a short period of time, and how much support we’ve received. I couldn’t have sat here 10 days ago, true to myself, and told you that we’d have this status already. It’s just been incredible.
Antony Providence put on an incredible performance against Eastfield Lodge
Lisa Connolly: Well you did say that you’d focus on the football, you seemed very confident with your style of play.
Craig: Oh, for sure. I mean that is part and parcel of the pre-world cup confidence building. We are minnows on the world stage - You have to do it. I think we did it rather well, got everyone on the same page. And I think most people understood what I set out to do and why.
Michael: Sex sells.
Craig: Damnit. He’s found me out!
Crowd laughs, Michael winks
Craig: Yeah that’s exactly it, I wanted to play sexy football, and sexy football we’ve delivered. Who would have known that an incredible string of results would have followed! We’ve pulled out all stops and just gone for it. I’m so proud of the team. I’m proud of each of them individually and I’m proud of their team ethic. Solid victories, thrilling draws and taking the fight to some of the best Footballing nations. What more can you ask for?! As a manager it’s just been incredible to watch them overcome the hurdles, and grow as a team.
Simon Achiveal: I know you had some skeptics, worried that your focus wouldn’t deliver goals. So I applaud your work.
Craig: Look at the end of the day, it’s a hard ask for la lass y los lads†. This is their job. This is their livelihood. For me to come in and ask them to play nicer-looking football, I think in other countries I might have been fired straight away! But this group of amazing people, I think they understand that football is much larger than just results. I came here to make Brusseldorf a footballing nation again. Results might do that, but you can’t stand on results. If you pick a style, if you make it your own, you develop a culture and a mantra. That stands on its own. You can build off of that.
Simon: As a historian I have to say that you’ve definitely figured it out. Arguably lack of culture was the reason why football basically disappeared in recent times, folks in the audience will remember the string of bad results that just crippled the football industry. And it was basically just that, an industry. Without results, it failed. Craig, what you’ve done is nothing short of incredible. You’ve already begun to develop a culture; children out in the streets, football on TV, football in the local parks, freestylers in the malls. It's truly a revolution, and I hope to see it succeed.
(Host): Well culture is certainly paramount, so I’d like to hear what the people in the stands have been thinking?
Lisa: Look, I do interviews with the fans occasionally, and the response is great, but my favourite responses are always from my daughter. She was lucky enough to go and see two of the home games. Both of those games, her hero, Andrea Zidane, has scored. Personally I think it’s wonderful, she’s 9 years old and that’s when role models are really important. And here you have a girl, a short girl, in the national team as a defender and she’s shutting down opposition attackers twice her size and even scoring goals.
Andrea Zidane is third on the scoresheet, with four goals to her name
(Host): I think you could say that’s a good metaphor for the whole team!
Lisa: Underdogs for sure! And my daughter absolutely adores her, she’s got two Los Alrededores shirts, she’s got one of mine from way back in the ‘88 Final against Pacifican, and she’s got her own one that has ‘Zidane’ on the back. That one’s her favourite, I have to take it off her to make sure it gets washed! Andrea Zidane is becoming a household name, and my daughter loves watching highlights from Meknes al Morocco, on YouTube, just so she can see more of her play.
Michael: Certainly you can tell up in the box that the passion is there. I'm not sure how much you get to see Craig, but from the box we can take it all in. Everytime Los Alrededores score, the fans go mental. They absolutely lose it! I think twelfth man is an understatement. Fennec Stadia has been packed since day one. I'd say you've got 55,000 players on the pitch there. Nothing compares.
(Host): I think we can all agree that the family up in the stands has been absolutely incredible, but let's hear it first hand. Please give a warm welcome to Los Alrededores Number 9, it's Brusseldorf's own sweetheart - Teddy Wolfenden!
Crowd absolutely loses it, several young girls in the front row faint, one middle aged man screams "Teddy I love you!"
The chosen one of Los Alrededores, Teddy Wolfenden
Teddy Wolfenden: Hello there!
The show cut to an ad break. Just as it was getting good, goddamnit. Harry got up and put the kettle on. Tomorrow was the real test. After that first 5-0 drubbing that put Los Alrededores in their place, they had made a surprise comeback. But with two very strong teams in the top spots, and a close battle below, Los Alrededores were going to have to keep up the miracles. Harry glanced back at the TV whilst he set down the tea leaves. Teddy was on the screen, promoting Living Football. C'mon Teddy he thought.
Here's how the group sits at the Mid-qualification break:
Group 3 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Holy Empire 9 7 2 0 38 17 +21 23
2 Qasden 9 7 1 1 29 14 +15 22
3 Eastfield Lodge 9 4 3 2 17 13 +4 15
4 Brusseldorf 9 4 3 2 22 21 +1 15
5 Libertas Omnium Maximus 9 3 1 5 15 22 −7 10
6 Dritten Asopie 9 2 3 4 17 23 −6 9
7 Acapais 9 2 2 5 21 24 −3 8
8 Santa Regada 9 1 4 4 16 20 −4 7
9 Quakmybush 9 1 4 4 15 23 −8 7
10 Sulsuland 9 2 1 6 13 26 −13 7
The Match Schedule is as follows:
March 10th: Brusseldorf 0-5 The Holy Empire
March 11th: Libertas Omnium Maximus 3-3 Brusseldorf
March 12th: Brusseldorf 3-1 Dritten Asopie
March 13th: Eastfield Lodge 1-2 Brusseldorf
March 14th: Brusseldorf 4-2 Sulsuland
March 15th: Brusseldorf 3-3 Acapais
March 16th: Santa Regada 1-3 Brusseldorf
March 17th: Brusseldorf 3-3 Quakmybush
March 18th: Qasden 2-1 Brusseldorf
March 19th: Mid-qualifying Break
March 20th: The Holy Empire vs Brusseldorf
March 21st: Brusseldorf vs Libertas Omnium Maximus
March 22nd: Dritten Asopie vs Brusseldorf
March 23rd: Brusseldorf vs Eastfield Lodge
March 24th: Sulsuland vs Brusseldorf
March 25th: Acapais vs Brusseldorf
March 26th: Brusseldorf vs Santa Regada
March 27th: Quakmybush vs Brusseldorf
March 28th: Brusseldorf vs Qasden
† 'La lass y los lads' is a Spanish-English hybrid for describing Los Alrededores. Directly translates to 'The woman and the men'