WC 82 RP Thread

[The Sherpa Empire]

Danu told the police that he had come from another world. He explained how he had sought out the monastery and the monks had sent him through the portal. The police were unsure what to make of it. They didn't think Danu was telling the truth, but they could not come up with another explanation of who he was or why he was there. They asked him for a DNA sample so they could run a genetic test to confirm his ethnic background. Danu let them take the sample, and they returned to questioning him, asking what he had done since he came through the portal. When he got to the incident in the broom closet, the officers perked up. "Wait... Do you know what Kai Qiang looks like?" one of them asked.

"Yeah, he looks like a fucking faggot!" Danu grumbled.

The officers exchanged glances. "I mean do you know specifically what he looks like? Height? Weight? You know, a physical description."

"You don't know what he looks like?" said Danu.

"No, he communicates through videos where the lighting is set up so you can't see his face," the police officer explained. "We don't even know for sure if Kai Qiang is his real name or a pseudonym. It seems a little too convenient that communist revolutionary has a name that means 'Victory by Force,' if you know what I mean."

"I didn't know what it meant," said Danu. "That is one of the most inappropriate names..."

"Yeah, but naming your kid 'Suicide Mission' or 'Subhuman Filth' just doesn't have the same ring to it," said the officer.

The police brought in a sketch artist, and Danu described Kai Qiang to him. The officers seemed surprised at the description. They had pictured Qiang as a much more imposing figure than he really was.

To combat the spread of AIDS, the Imperial Health Service gives out informational brochures warning people not to share needles because they can be contaminated with the HIV virus.

To combat the spread of AIDS, the Minister of Health gives pompous speeches warning about the dangers of interracial sex, which can dilute the blood and weaken the immune system.

[Brusseldorf]

cont.

Merkel stood at the edge of the precipice. Below her whorled a sea of smoke and cloud. Little flickers of fiery light like tea lamps spotted the smoke, giving it an eerie orange glow. All the light in the sky had gone out. Merkel frowned. She swore she’d been standing in daylight not moments before. And the jazz - the sweet, cursed jazz - was positively deafening. The gorgeous tones of a lively saxophone penetrated the heavy air, whisking her mind to Nirvana and back, whilst a filthy trumpet blared its seductive tune. A touch of cymbal feathered the song, and a sparingly used double bass pushed the music forever onwards. The instruments seemed to be weaving together, discovering, then just as quickly forgetting, every song Merkel had ever heard. Cantaloupe Island, Indiana, Blue Bossa and an infinite number more, all clambering over each other, competing to be heard for a fraction of a second. The chaotic music pulled her in, and she fell into the smoke. Past the spot fires underneath, past the earth, into nothingness. She realised, there were no instruments. No band playing. Something pure, something filthy. Something supernatural. Absolute chaos and definite hell. The universe swallowed her.

It didn’t like the taste. It spat Merkel out in a smoke-filled crater in the middle of Quelsh.

~to be continued



Match Schedule is as follows:

March 10th: Brusseldorf 0-5 The Holy Empire
March 11th: Libertas Omnium Maximus 3-3 Brusseldorf
March 12th: Brusseldorf 3-1 Dritten Asopie
March 13th: Eastfield Lodge 1-2 Brusseldorf
March 14th: Brusseldorf 2-1 Sulsuland
March 15th: Brusseldorf 3-3 Acapais
March 16th: Santa Regada 1-3 Brusseldorf
March 17th: Brusseldorf 3-3 Quakmybush
March 18th: Qasden vs Brusseldorf
March 19th: Mid-qualifying Break
March 20th: The Holy Empire vs Brusseldorf
March 21st: Brusseldorf vs Libertas Omnium Maximus
March 22nd: Dritten Asopie vs Brusseldorf
March 23rd: Brusseldorf vs Eastfield Lodge
March 24th: Sulsuland vs Brusseldorf
March 25th: Acapais vs Brusseldorf
March 26th: Brusseldorf vs Santa Regada
March 27th: Quakmybush vs Brusseldorf
March 28th: Brusseldorf vs Qasden

[Vilita]

Back and Forth Continues as Jungle Cats held by Valladares

Turoki Community Complex, Turoki City, Vilita :: Following a mixed start to their qualification campaign, the Vilita Jungle Cats had finally started to look like the defending World Cup Champions stringing together back to back victories against Nottinhaps and Soviet Micronesia to get some points on the board and close in on the top teams in Group 13.

On Matchday five they would head back on the road to Ashaie to face a team which they had never seen before in competition. While the home side held strong possession throughout the match they could not break through the Vilitan defense whereby the Jungle Cats had little problem in the final third with ten shots on goal and having earned eleven corner kicks. The local fans were into the match until about the half hour mark when the Jungle Cats went on a stunning triple salvo finding the back of the net three times in under five minutes to suppress any dreams of a storybook result against the #1 ranked team in the multiverse in Ashaie. The first two goals both came off the corner kick with Tinjus Mngomeni and Rintala Sekagaya both finding a way to beat the crowd and connect with the incoming ball to redirect it into the net. The third goal came as perhaps the Ashaie' had their confidence shaken as Cywrenta Vlintejni stormed up the right side of the pitch and lobbed an optimistic effort towards the goal. Whether the wind played a factor or just a little bit of luck was all that made the difference, the ball barely found its way under the cross bar and the Vilitan National Team found themselves with three goal advantage.

From there the foot would come off the gas to some extent as the Vilitan coaching staff instructed their team to protect the advantage and lock down the three points. Seeming to favor the 4-4-2 instead of the more traditional Vilitan lineup of 3-5-2 the Jungle Cats coaching staff seemed to be prioritizing some added experience for defensive players thus far in World Cup 82 Qualifying. That's not to say the Jungle Cats didn't have offensive prowess available to them, however, and with the fans on their way to the exits Sipke Tarala inflicted a moment of mastery that demonstrated why Sabrefell Athletic was so highly interested in the former Lonngeylin Coast product adding a stoppage time tally to notch the final scoreline to 4-0 in favor of the Jungle Cats.

Vilita [4] - [0] Ashaie

:: Vilita Goalscorers :: :: 28' Tinjus Mngomeni :: 31' Rintala Sekagaya :: 32' Cywrenta Vlintejni :: 90' Sipke Tarala

:: Vilita Statistics :: :: Possession: 54% :: Shots on Target: 10 :: Corner Kicks: 11

:: Ashaie Statistics :: :: Possession: 46% :: Shots on Target: 1 :: Corner Kicks: 3

---

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Ashaie ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [D.]Lohani Riiyaaw, [D.] Kwuimekii Hentetii, [ML] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC]Tinjus Mngomeni, [MC] Westii Yahaya, [MR] Cywrenta Vlintejni, [FC]Sipke Tarala, [FC]Tenziki Kulakao
BENCH::
[FC]Fishtii Blikala, [FC]Linvoi Warazil, [M]Kudii Davasarii, [M]Cavuna Aquafek, [U ]Enzoril Alabonni, [D]Jirijii Januaa, [GK]Upsin Ajaara

---

Continuing their back-and-forth scheduling horror, the Jungle Cats returned home to host Valladares on Matchday six at the Turoki Community Complex in Turoki City, home to the Turoki Tide and Turoki United - the only ground in all of Vilita that can claim to be home to two different Stellar Division champion clubs.

In past seasons, a matchup against Valladares might have been considered a top matchup on the calendar for the Vilitan National Team. However interest in the sport had seemed to have fallen to an all-time-low in Valladares over the previous few cycles as the National Team struggled to get results, failing to qualify for the World Cup and losing much of its media coverage. Perhaps as a result of this and perhaps as a result of being at home and having strung togethere three straight victories, the Vilitan coaching staff decided to stray from what had been working for them and make some key lineup changes. First, they switched from the 4-4-2 formation that had worked for them in recent matches to a more aggressive 3-4-3 approach. Second, they made the interesting decision to allow Maratopa Inita-Arua to start the match in goal over Mako Canopii. There was some expectation that such a move might be made at Track Venture Field in Sile but it was not expected to see the switch coming at the Turoki Community Complex. Finally, top attacker Sipke Tarala was given a rest day after two strong performances returning from injury with goals in the previous two matches.

The Jungle Cats certainly had their opportunities in the match and took a number of them well but their opponents Valladares played more like the World Cup Finalists that the Vilitan National Team might have played in years past and less like the Pot 3 or 4 team that they had become today. The Valladar side held the lead on two separate occasions scoring in the 33rd minute through Gaëtan Malicki to cancel out Rintala Sekagaya's opener then in the 41st minute as Audioslavia-based attacker Wilfried Baume slotted one past Inita-Arua to take their first lead of the match.

Enzoril Alabonni netted in first-half stoppage time to send the teams back into the locker room level at three but it did not take long after the restart for AC Izotz Zubia striker Wilfried Baume to net his second of the match to give the Valladar side a 3-2 lead. The restless fans at the Turoki Community Complex knew the Jungle Cats position in the standings would not be helped by dropping more points at home and began to get restless as the match wore on. Finally they had something to cheer about in the 84th minute as Va'a-Rio Kiwavn took advantage of a foul on Cywrenta Vlintejni to line up a Free Kick from 25 yards. Kiwavn got the ball around the wall and out of the reach of Paulo Gaviria to level the scores at three goals a piece. It was a small consolation for the Jungle Cats and their fans in attendance. While they did not lose the match, they didn't win either and lost further ground to the top of the table looking a shadow of their former selves as defending World Champions and the #1 Ranked Team in the multiverse.

Vilita [3] - [3] Valladares

:: Vilita Goalscorers :: :: 27' Rintala Sekagaya :: 45' Enzoril Alabonni :: 84' Va'a-Rio Kiwavn

:: Vilita Statistics :: :: Possession: 53% :: Shots on Target: 5 :: Corner Kicks: 9

:: Valladares Statistics :: :: Possession: 47% :: Shots on Target: 8 :: Corner Kicks: 3

---

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Valladares ::
[GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua, [D.]Rojara Tiones, [D.]Arocki Tadalek, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [ML] Kudii Davasarii, [MC] Cywrenta Vlintejni, [MC]Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MR] Jyuola Mtalata, [FC] Enzoril Alabonni, [FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC]Fishtii Blikala
BENCH::
[FC]Berali Tzufarei, [FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [M]Intikko Kuhilana, [M]Jurzen Devmiko, [U ]Lohani Riiyaaw, [D]Mileke Drokasorna, [GK]Mako Canopii

---

[Sajnur]

Vartugia 3 - 4 Sajnur

Sajnur submitted a starting XI massively changed from their shock victory against Cosumar, and it showed in that the team conceded three goals against Vartugia. Of course, the field that Vartugia forced Sajnur to play on was another factor in the goalscoring, given that it was much smaller than a regulation pitch, irregularly shaped, and also unevenly surfaced. The state of Vartugian pitches was so bad, in fact, that Tomasi Vuierev, Kahala Murje, Taulant Haji, David Kiral, and Ahmed Nazar were denied clearance by their clubs to play the fixture due to injury concerns and Jessica Siafik and Dario Tule flat out refused to make the journey. Andre Naulo was present at the match, but started the match on the bench, and Alan Gharici, in his first match after suspension, was interim captain in the absence of Siafik and Vuierev.

Deprived of their best wingers and essentially their entire starting back line, the team that walked onto the pitch proved, at least initially, to be ill-equipped to defend even against the Vartugians, who ran away to a 2-0 lead inside 10 minutes, courtesy of their #10. Their first goal was inside a minute as said #10 dribbled past a Sajnuran team unwilling to slide in on such a bad surface before putting it past Giorge Iajevici, who was handed his first cap in place of Piotr Laghiev. Sajnur then kicked off and kept possession for several minutes before Rowan Down shot wide of the Vartugian keeper. Vartugia then prepared an attack, which culminated in the #10's second goal as they received the ball in the six yard box. The play in the first half remained scrappy and relatively slow, but Sajnur hit back in the 27th minute when Vasil Stoianov dribbled through the Vartugians and curled it past the keeper, despite the hosts being more willing to slide in on the rough field. The half ended 3-1, however, as the Vartugians scored in the 44th minute with an unusually bouncing low shot from their #8 travelled 25 yards into the bottom corner. Stoianov was then injured just before the half time whistle from a slide tackle by the Vartugian #3, and was substituted for Naulo during the break.

The second half was vastly improved from the first half for Sajnur, and their comeback started in the 50th minute with a goal by Andre Naulo as he headed in a very early cross from Alexis Sjoring. Such a style of play would become the mainstay of the Sajnuran effort as they seemingly sought to avoid the surface as much as possible, with ground balls being largely used conservatively to keep possession away from the opponents. Naulo would score a second in the 63rd minute to level the scores as he unleashed from 40 yards sailing the ball over the Vartugian defence and into the goal. Basuli Maktar would come on for Piotr Basuliev, with Rowan Down moving to midfield as Marinon changed to a 4-2-2-2, and Maktar would assist the winning goal in the 80th minute as he would head a Sian Levici corner into the path of Naulo, who would complete his hattrick from the corner of the six yard box and put Sajnur in front.

Starting XI for Vartugia v Sajnur

[Mercedini]

82nd World Cup Qualfication
The Story So Far
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

It has been an interesting World Cup to say the least, with plenty of twists and turns in the race to nab those top-two spots in the table to secure a berth at one of the multiverse's biggest sporting tournaments. Ten teams are in contention and have been battling it out against each other to reign supreme in the fifteenth and final group of qualification. As we already knew, Mercedini were drawn into a relatively mysterious group, with Equestrian States as top seed as well as Indusse and Garifunya who were to two teams most likely to challenge the Golden Eagles to that second place. The old-faithful of Krytenia were also making a return to the international scene following a brief absence to chase other projects, they were drawn into the group as fifth seeds, so definitely within striking distance thanks to their middling ranking and bags of experience from previous World Cups. It was said that most groups would be decided by teams in the top five pots, but there was always a chance for an upset during the long campaign like these. Eight games have been played so far, meaning we are quickly approaching half-time in the campaign, so let's see who is currently pulling their weight and who is slacking in their quest to qualify for the 82nd World Cup Finals.

   Group 15                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Lisander                         8    6   1   1    16   12   +4    19
 2 Equestrian States                8    5   0   3    22   13   +9    15
 3 Mercedini                        8    4   2   2    21   14   +7    14
 4 Garifunya                        8    4   1   3    25   23   +2    13
 5 Kandorith                        8    3   1   4    18   18    0    10
 6 Pratapgadh                       8    2   3   3    16   18   −2     9
 7 Ancherion                        8    2   3   3    19   23   −4     9
 8 Krytenia                         8    2   3   3    14   20   −6     9
 9 Indusse                          8    2   2   4    10   12   −2     8
10 Zeniyadh                         8    0   4   4    11   19   −8     4

What a story this could be! Lisander, currently ranked 134th in the multiverse, are four points ahead of their nearest rivals as we approach the halfway point in the group stage. They have been rising up the ranks ever since their 5-1 loss away to Mercedini on the opening day, and have since won six of their next seven including overcoming the Equestrian States away in their biggest win to date in the group. It would be a great story if the experienced side could overcome their four pot chasm to finish in 1st as a Pot 5 side. In second and occupying the final post-quals spot is the Equestrian States, who have done just enough to stay inside the top two, even if they have lost three of their eight games, including both of the last two against lower ranked opposition. It has been a rather lacklustre campaign for the ponies who started with four wins out of four including a comprehensive 3-1 victory at home against their nearewst rivals in terms of rank, Mercedini. Their second-quarter of qualification was less impressive, winning one of their next four, but their experience and knowledge of how to get through tough game should see them through to another World Cup, although this recent wobble could give other teams hope of a result against the Equestrian States.

That leaves the case of Mercedini, who have been far from prolific in their qualifying group so far, not scoring the sevens and eights we saw of the previous campaign. They sit in third place after eight games with four wins, two draws and two losses to their name. Missed chances and questionable player choices has meant Lyndainium's men have failed to pick up vital points that they need to keep their tally ticking over. The selection of numerous second choice players on Mercedini's qualification roster resulted in the Golden Eagles being held to a one-all draw by an inspired Zeniyadh side who sat bottom of the group going into the game. Cody Graszeszak netted his first senior international goal in front of a 34,000 strong crowd, a record low for a Mercedinian home game for this cycle of qualification matches. Mercedini looked comfortable going into the final ten minutes of the game, but were undone by their own complacency as a Zeniyadh corner was fumbled into the net by their main striker to give the unranked side a moment to remember in Zoloroni. Muted applause was heard around the arena as Mercedini claimed another point at home, but at what cost to their qualification chances as it finished Mercedini 1, Zeniyadh, unbelievably, 1!

Further down the table sits Garifunya and Kandorith who have been slowly chugging along with their respectable points tally, they sit with an outside chance of snatching a spot in the top two, although they would need to set the group alight in the second half to see themselves through to the World Cup. Aside from that, the sides ranked from sixth to ninth are relatively inseparable, the flight to take them to the World Cup seems to have left without them this time around. Mercedini will end their first half somewhere in the top five, as they play Pratapgadh in their ninth and final match of the first round of fixtures. All eyes will be on the matches featuring Lisander and the Equestrian States as they are the teams Dini will have to get past. It's set to be an exciting week and a half for Mercedini and their fans as the World Cup Qualification cycle comes to a head.

[Audioslavia]

Rickson Roars at the 66
Eleven-hour Bulls Go Five Clear

For the majority of Audioslavia’s vital six-pointer against Drawkland, things were not going the way of the claret and green Bulls team.

Despite home advantage and a team with something to prove after coming up short in Eura, Audioslavia were out-thought by an experienced Drawkland side in the first half. Like Audioslavia’s first team, Drawkland’s A team ply their trade all over the world, from Apox to Turori. There is, however, a stark contrast in the average age. Even discounting the millenia-old Elizidan, Drawkland have one of the oldest first elevens in the competition. Their youngest starter, Lana Harmony, is only two months younger than Audioslavia’s oldest starter, Baran Kuznetsov.

The gap in experience showed in the first half, as Drawkland weathered the initial storm caused by an adrenaline-filled home team and bided their time, opting to play keep-ball and camp in Audioslavia’s half. As the Bulls players left their positions to chase down the ball, Drawkland found inroads in behind. By the twelfth minute, Cam Cross had it to the by-line and found a Katie Madison with a low cross, who lifted the ball over a sprawling Angel Clavel and into the net for one-nil, silencing the home crowd.

Audioslavia, frustrated, equalised within two minutes of the restart, with Desya Kuznetsov pouncing first on a blocked shot to hammer the ball unstoppably into the bottom corner from 18 yards.

Drawkland, unpeturbed, continued playing their own game, and were 2-1 up on the half-hour mark. Stella Moore’s one-two with Corrie Archer released the forward down the wing. A clever feint put Baran Kuznetsov off balance just enough for Archer to burst past. A high cross went over Audioslavia’s centre halves and was met with authority by Cam Cross at the far post, who volleyed in for 2-1.

Audioslavia tried to rally in the second half, but all too often were frustrated by Drawkland’s refusal to drop back and try to defend their lead. A combination of good movement and accurate passing kept the possession numbers in Drawkland’s favour as Audoslavia began to tire from all the chasing and harrying.

Audioslavia manager Wilfred Lidgley, pilloried in the press recently for his penchant for decade-old memes and the fact that he’s now winless in two, made the bold move of taking off a striker, Ciro Oljer, and replacing him with young defensive-minded midfielder Storm Holsen. The change was barely questioned by commentators, though, seeing as teenage sensation Rickson Marańón was also brought on at the same time, with a fatigued Sterling making way.

The increased numbers in midfield started paying dividends quickly, with Audioslavia managing to more easily keep the ball when they did finally get possession, and press more effectively when they lost the ball. On sixty-seven minutes, Marańón made his presence known with a jinking run past Elizidan and Talla, before curling a speculative shot over the bar. Marańón was in the mix again two minutes later, working down the left and releasing Robertson to cross at the goal-line. Desya Kuznetsov, now the sole striker, could only manage to direct a header over the bar under pressure from Arrowsword.

Audioslavia continued to press forward, but still had to keep their wits about them at the back. Mandy Thompson intercepted a wayward pass from Jégou
on seventy-six minutes and had the time to pick out Corrie Archer, who was sprinting forward. Archer, caught by Lomax, was forced back ut found Elizidan who chipped the ball over to Madison who had made a run down the centre, but the striker’s could only hook her turning volley wide of the post, with Clavel beaten.

Audioslavia’s breakthrough finally came in the 82nd minute, with Marañón sending the crowd into raptures with a superb conversion of a dropping ball into a goal via only control with the chest and a volley with the left foot. The speed of the Cathair player’s shot was the important thing, here. Harmony wasn’t far away from it, but couldn’t get herself from a standing position to a horizontal one quickly enough to gouge the ball out from a metre away from her right ankle.

Had the game stayed at 2-2, both sides would have been able to go away from the game reasonably satisfied at having kept pace with their closest rivals for a qualification spot, but the tens of thousands of Audioslavians in attendance refused to stop demanding their team get forward. On eighty-eight minutes, Marañón released Kuznetsov with a through-ball but the striker could only hit the side-netting with an attempted near-post finish.

Drawkland would break in the 90th minute and force two very good opportunities. The first with Madison drawing an excellent save from Angel Clavel, the second via a header from the resulting corner by Sarah Arrowsword which rattled the bar, causing many an Audioslavian heart to jump into their throats.

Audioslavia got forward once more, in the dying moments of the game, and its there where Rickson Marañón shined.

Controlling a cross-field ball with his left foot, Marañón’s next touch took him past Cynthia Pack with a ferocious turn of pace. A one-two with Jégou bought him five yards, right to the edge of the area. With a dummy he opened up two yards with which to get a shot away on the right hand side of the D at the edge of the area, and what a shot it was, hooked with Rickson’s right boot, looping and curling into the opposite corner of the goal beyond the despairing dive of Lana Harmony.

The release of tension in the stadium was palpable. Marañón raced towards the crowd with his shirt helicoptering around his head and the rest of his team chasing him. A vital victory for Audioslavia in the race to qualify for World Cup 82.

World Cup 82 Qualifying Group 2    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Eura                              8    6   2   0    24    9  +15    20
 2 Audioslavia                       8    6   1   1    20   11   +9    19
 3 Drawkland                         8    4   2   2    18   13   +5    14
 4 Darkmania                         8    4   1   3    22   15   +7    13
 5 Oberour Ar Moro                   8    3   4   1    25   19   +6    13
 6 Lochario                          8    3   3   2    11    8   +3    12

The win gives Audioslavia five-point buffer between themselves and Drawkland, with the number one spot only a Euran slip-up away. Drawkland, along with the group's midfield of Darkmania, Oberour and Lochario, will need a run of victories in order to catch the top two.

For Audioslavia, maintaining the form that has taken them this far is paramount. Perhaps a run of five victories on the bounce like the one that took them to the head of the group in the first place won't be probable, but they need to maintain their form if they are to qualify for their second World Cup in a row.

[Jeruselem]

In Zwangzug, after Jeruselem beat the hosts 3-0. Kaz Sallad with keeper Bianca Dallas

Bianca: Hey coach, what's with all those bandages? Get attacked by bunch of bees?
Kaz: Oh that, not bees or wasps or insects ...
Bianca: So what is it
Kaz: Typical European skin cancers, you know ... too much sun and you get skin cancers
Bianca: I see, I don't get those.
Kaz: Eh, you got darker skin. Me, this pale skin burns.

Bianca: So that's why you never really made as a football player, or you were just crap
Kaz: Both, I didn't last very long out there in the sun. Which is weird, I have Dallas genes. I guess the football genes skipped me.
Bianca: Well, I got those. A lot of those. More than you obviously.
Kaz: I got the football brain, but not the physical bit. Kind of sad, but true
Bianca: Geez I had to work hard today
Kaz: Yes, but we kept a clean sheet for once.

Bianca: Not with much help from them defenders
Kaz: They are getting better, I mean we've let in 1 goal in two games. Compared to 3 in one game.
Bianca: Yeah but still we suck in defense.
Kaz: We are scoring goals again, the Zug aren't exactly total slackers in defense
Bianca: Bah, they were terrible in defense
Kaz: Not compared to that Gor Kebab team

Bianca: Oh them, they deserve to be last if you let in 26 goals in 8 games.
Kaz: It's important we win this last game before half time, we need to stay in the top 3.
Bianca: Yeah but we got 5 teams right behind us waiting for an error
Kaz: We've made enough errors as it is. 2 draws and 2 losses. Actually 2 losses isn't too bad. The draws could have been wins.
Bianca: Yes, if the defense wasn't so inept ... nevermind
Kaz: We should be doing better for a top 50 team

Bianca: I guess we're doing better than a certain top 20 team
Kaz: Considering he haven't won a game at home, we're doing OK. Actually all our losses and draws are at home.
Bianca: Yes, we have a 100% away record and 0% home record.
Kaz: Yes, it's weird stat.
Bianca: So in theory, if we keep our 100% away form - a few wins at home would put in top 2 easily.
Kaz: The two home losses were to quality teams like Barunia and Main Nation Ministry

Bianca: Well, so if we can crappier teams at home, we'll be set
Kaz: We're really just hanging on at the moment
Bianca: Say, what is with the freaking weird names in our group.
Kaz: They aren't that weird ... we've had weirder country names
Bianca: Seriously, how are other people supposed to spell Antahbrantahstan or Vakolicci Haven and Celeria. And Gor Kebab sounds like food.
Kaz: Well, that's what we got. It's not hardest group we could have got.

Bianca: I must say, how does the hell does Princess Cassie remember and say the names of every fucking country in the world cup
Kaz: Yes, she's just good at that. She can also spell them too.
Bianca: She was talking about some F country, I couldn't spell it. Then she just said Farfadillis ... I asked how to spell that, and she just did it.
Kaz: That's why she's on TV and not you.
Bianca: I'll stick my football.
Kaz: Yes

[Brenecia]

New Peru 2 - 6 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Bruin; 2 - Marquess, 5 - Horgan, 6 - Grayndler, 3 - Levein; 23 - Redweald; 15 - Garrard (7 - Cheney 60'), 14 - Locke, 8 - Matheson, 11 - Fletcher; 10 - Ciogach
Goals: Ciogach 12' 48' 57', Garrard 30', Matheson 70', Fletcher 90+1'

Geisenfried 1 - 2 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1 / 4-4-2) 12 - Drummond; 18 - Weaver, 5 - Horgan, 22 - Varney, 19 - Prentice (3 - Levein 82'); 4 - Staunton (23 - Redweald 33'); 15 - Garrard, 21 - Considine, 13 - Hartsdown, 16 - Corvey; 10 - Ciogach (17 - Bremner 76')
Goals: Considine 37', Bremner 83'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Five things we learned from the last international break
Laura Mulholland

1. Pagan Redweald might be a legitimate contender
Right now, the obvious gap in quality compared to the world champions of 80 comes in defensive midfield. Rostyn Calhoun is an excellent goalkeeper to replace Woodgate, Cathal Keynes is starting to look better than peak Ashbrown, Crowther, Riordan and Heneghan have improved with age... but Catherine Gryphon? Has she really been replaced? Well, Roisin Staunton looked the best shot at that... but limped off a third of the way into the Geisenfried match. Instead, Pagan Redweald - a more matured, tempered figure than her impetuous youthful self - added to her handful of caps with a composed performance, steadying the ship after an early concession and injury that could have proven disastrous. She's more defensively dirty than Staunton, and much like some crabs, offers more forward thrust than Catsidhe Alweather.

2. Things are looking good up front
We might finally be able to stop talking about the dearth of forward options! Kara Ciogach found acres of space behind the New Peru defence - she continues her streak of only ever scoring in batches, internationally - and with pace, cunning and ruthlessness, ratcheted up a hat-trick. She didn't have so much luck against Geisenfried, to be fair, but it was eventually Niall Bremner who saved the day. Yes, Bremner! Such a maligned figure in the past, but Eura appears to have been the making of him. He really knows how to use his strength to best effect, and his finishing lacks the streakiness of the past. As seeming fourth-choice, Banshee Strider's a handy option as well, even if the rangy, mercurial young striker didn't get a chance to shine over these matches. Griffin Riordan's looked a little tired for Brenecia over the past couple of years; maybe, finally, she has some relief.

3. Cole Bruin has some work to do
Cole Bruin's had an interesting career thus far - struggling to get minutes in Brenecia, he was surprisingly given a chance in Eura. He hasn't exactly lit up the league there, but even so, the standard of his play and his relative youth merited a call-up. Unfortunately, his next chance may have become more remote - he looked uncomfortable with the ball at his feet, shanking a clearance for a chance that Tomayconsa narrowly failed to make the most of, before being beaten at his near post by Miguel Velasquez late on. There was little he could do against Gallardo's excellent early free-kick, however, and he did make a few decent saves, largely from distance. One suspects these won't be at the forefront of the fans' minds, however.

4. The Dreạ̵̼͉̬̳͍̰m̻͉̦͕̟e̢͙r͙̣̥͖̳͍̩ ̣̻̹i̵̭ͅs̼͝ ͔̳̻͔̪̲̞a̴͇̳l͉̀w̪a͝y̝̠̮̲̦̤̰s҉͍̘̻̜͍̼͈ ͉͈̩̟̗̰͎w̦̘̹̬̰͔ͅa̪̥̫̗̺̻t͚̰̳͈̲͇ching

5. For all these positive performances...
A lot of these players are unlikely to make a serious push for that final 23. For all Ceridwen Fletcher's brilliance against New Peru, this cycle comes two years too early for her. But nobody questions the value of blooding young bloods like her, or Lauren Cheney. Meanwhile, Rosena Grayndler and Fiona Marquess know every cap could be their last, at this stage of their careers. Some might argue there's little point in giving minutes to such players, but the benefits of resting the key players can't be understated. And were one to be injured - as Staunton's injury illustrates - it's going to be these sorts of players who step up, and who knows for how big an occasion they'll be needed?

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cole Bruin (Brigham, EUR), 12 - Lenore Drummond (Rozelle), 20 - Cass Farrell (Northern Union)
Defenders: 2 - Fiona Marquess (Birdingstone United, ETN), 3 - Brigid Levein (Marque), 5 - Garrett Horgan (Northern Union), 6 - Rosena Grayndler (Rozelle), 18 - Erica Weaver (North Hall), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Crystal Fair HC, CRY), 22 - Garwyn Varney (Soldarian FC, VAL)
Midfielders: 4 - Randall Donachie (Pikemouth), 7 - Lauren Cheney (Kingsgrove), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR), 11 - Ceridwen Fletcher (North Hall), 13 - Meghan Hartsdown (Ibini FC, VAL), 14 - Keziah Locke (Duke of the North, PAS), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Rene Skae, FFD), 16 - Isidra Corvey (Kingsgrove), 21 - Shea Considine (Northern Union), 23 - Pagan Redweald (Northern Stallions)
Forwards: 9 - Banshee Strider (Lotus Park), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Southern Star), 17 - Niall Bremner (Unioneers, EUR)

SCHEDULE
Alenburg 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 2 Xanneria
Porabasta 0 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 2 Banija
Eshan 2 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 1 Grod Island
New Peru 2 - 6 Brenecia
Geisenfried 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Huelavia
Brenecia vs. Alenburg
Xanneria vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Porabasta
Banija vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Eshan
Grod Island vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. New Peru
Brenecia vs. Geisenfried
Huelavia vs. Brenecia

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

Islanders stun the struggling World champions with shock 1-0 upset victory away from home


Team celebrates stunning upset victory against the World champions

VILITA- Shocking. Stunning. Miraculous. All headlines across the country after an eye popping result, one that caught the attention of the footballing world all across the multiverse. The World Cup holders have been struggling for the duration of the qualification campaign, and that has generated chaos. However, we imagine that, after this result, that the camp of the champions has descended into a full-on panic mode after falling 1-0, at home, to the Busoga Islands. Nothing is guaranteed in World Cup Qualification, not even for the #1 team in the multiverse, not even for the three-time World champions, not for the holders. A spot in the World Cup must be earned, and the holders will surely have their hands full now.

Not that the Busoga Islands have suddenly launched themselves into the conversation- no, the chances of us reaching the shores of Valanora and Apox in a few months time are very slim, and almost none. Too many points dropped, too many points separating us, too much of a talent gap between our nation and the top of the group. But still- a total and absolute stunner. One that has rescued a moment of joy from what has otherwise been a dismal qualification campaign in what many have dubbed ‘the group of death’. But let’s get right into it- how did this happen, and what does this mean?

How It happened- The Goal

Of course, it was a thing of beauty, away from home. Ousman Babaja was the goalscorer, the Lakiska SC striker, and it was an absolutely brilliant shot on target. Vilita, as so many teams do in this situation, a large man for man talent gap, and in front of their home crowd, tried to press their advantage early. They were pushing, and already had an opportunity, brilliantly swatted away by Delbin Kasekende. They had an ensuing corner kick, and had pushed players forward to commit to scoring on the opportunity. The ball was sent up, but it was a poor cross, and too close to the goalkeeper. Delbin Kasekende rose the highest in the crowd to get the ball. However, instead of smothering, he raced out, looking for options.

He saw Upanshu Paramartha streaking up the near sideline. A perfect throw by Kasekende allowed him to put the ball just in front of Paramartha, and a fortunate bounce allowed the ball to hit his feet, in stride. At this point, while Vilita had been dominating the early proceedings of the match, the break was on. Paramartha sprinting with the ball down the sideline, with Ousman Babaja running down the center of the field, and Madhav Oojam sprinting down the left sideline. There were only two Vilitan defenders back, and they were backpedaling- a three on two for the Islanders. An opportunity that they would absolutely have to make the best opportunity of.

Paramartha crossed the ball, brilliantly, all the way across the field to Oojam, who was making a diagonal run. Another perfect pass, he was able to chest the ball and drop it to his feet, in stride. It was now largely a two on two, about 30 yards away from goal. But Babaja made an overlapping run behind him. And he was sprinting towards the center of the field, and the two Vilitan defenders converged on the ball, Babaja was released from behind him, making a run to the left hand side- the type of run that his club coach, Winad-Lenpi Xlo, would be proud of.

The ball was played through to him, and all of a sudden, he was one on one with the Vilitan goalkeeper. The anticipation rose as the small group of Islander fans, probably numbering between 500 and 1,000 within the stadium, expecting to get smashed in this match, saw Babaja with his opportunity. The goalkeeper came out, and with his week foot, Babaja chipped the ball over the Vilitan goalkeeper, and into the back of the net. He ran to the corner flag to celebrate in front of a stunned home crowd- the Busoga Islands, this small nation that was just in its second ever Qualification campaign, was leading against the holders and defender World champions, Vilita. A frenzied celebration, but of course, the goal came so quickly- could they hold this lead?

How it Happened- the Strategy

The plan for this match was always to play defensively. Vilita is stronger, man to man, and, of course, that was shown in World Cup 81, when they raced forward to add a third star to their national team jersey. And with this goal, the possibilities of earning that became stronger. However, they would have to be organized in the back, and frustrate their opponents coming forward.

Putting eleven players behind the ball, from this point, was going to be a given. The Islanders were physical- finishing the game with 13 fouls, and, of course, four yellow cards- but no reds given. The Jungle Cats were bodied off the ball. The Jungle Cats were tossed around, physically, by the Islanders, who, with that goal, were playing with a kind of motivation and spark in their eye that they haven’t seen since Matchday 1, after the “poor man’s Banija” comments by Savojar media.

The strategy, however, was defend, defend, defend. The Jungle Cats finished the match with 64% possession- the worst the Islanders had done the entire campaign in that area. However, the strategy seemed to work for most of the match. Lots of deflected shots, very rare opportunities for the Jungle Cats to break through, no real golden chances to score against Delbin Kasekende. It was a masterclass of a coaching performance, with players across the pitch rising in unison with one another.

That said, Kasekende made a number of quality saves. Two diving saves on free kicks from the Jungle Cats within 25 yards, not allowing any rebounds to go out to Vilitan players, and being aggressive on crosses, ensuring that anything too close to him was corralled by him. For whatever reason, that happened a number of times, as the crosses of the Vilitans seemed to end up in the hands of Delbin Kasekende. Not a single headed opportunity on goal for the Jungle Cats on this matchday.

How it happened- the red card

One of the two key moments, besides the goal, that deserve to be studied in depth. This happened in the 67th minute. While Vilita had some momentum at this point, the frustration was mounting. The home crowd was getting antsy, as many saw the clock running out. They could feel the pressure building up on them, and it was starting to spill over onto the field.

Limu Katarakhna was particularly frustrated. Paramartha was taking the ball up on the sideline, and Katarakhna went in for the tackle, but missed, and got a lot of leg. While Paramartha was rolling around in pain, it was Katarakhna who leaned in and said something to him. What did he say? WE have no idea- we weren’t on the pitch. But Paramartha sprang up and said something to him, and they were in each toher’s faces. Then Katarakhna chest bumped him, and that was enough for the referee. A yellow was shown for the original foul, and another yellow was shown for the chest bump. Katarakhna was sent off the pitch. A harsh red card, to be sure, but it was the referee’s decision to make. Things had gone from bad to worse for the World Cup holders- Still needing a goal, but down to 10 men? And that weak red card decision? The Jungle Cats were officially on the ropes.

How it happened- the woodwork

Vilita’s best chance to equalize came in the 84th minute. Down to 10 men, it didn’t seem like they were down a man, though exhaustion was clearly starting to creep in on this hot day. The Islanders were fully packed in now- with victory in reach, they were going to do anything possible to keep the Vilitans out of the back of the net.

In the 84th minute, however, the Vilitans had won a free kick, 35 yards away from goal. A perfect opportunity to put a cross into the area. And that is exactly what was done, with a Vilitan defender rising up to meet the cross. However, it was Delbin Kasekende who came out, and jumped up, to give a strong punch to clear the ball from the area. However, this was the one opportunity for the Vilitans.

The ball came out to the highly decorated Polaox Torerun, a two time World champion and the collector of all sorts of trophies, both domestic and international. From about 25 yards out, he hit it one time, and beautiful towards goal. There was nothing anybody was going to be able to do about it. The Islanders saw the ball flying towards the net, and everybody turned to watch. Was this going to be the moment all of the hard work of the match, all the defending, was for naught?

It was simply not going to be the Jungle Cats day. The ball hit the bottom of the crossbar, and bounced out, where Marie Sonko was able to head the ball away, and Berihu Abeselome cleared it. And the Islanders did not allow any major opportunities, as the defense held. And, at the end of 4 minutes of stoppage, the referee blew his whistle three times. The game, had been won. The Islanders had pulled off the upset- stunning the world champions in their own backyard.

The Postmatch

The celebration was on. The shocking upset saw Islander players running across the field, hugging one another. Islander fans made their way towards the bottom of the stands, as players and fans alike celebrated their shock upset victory. This, of course, was one of the biggest upsets of the qualficiation campaign so far, as the 144th ranked side defeated the #1 ranked side, on their home soil. It might be, in terms of difference of ranking, the singular biggest upset of the World Cup 82 Qualification campaign so far.

Starfire, the manager, had a lot to say about the match. “This was a great performance by the team- probably the best performance we’ve had since our appearance in the Baptism of Fire. We played as a true team on this matchday. Defending as a unit, playing the same way, playing with a singular purpose- this is the type of match that I want to instill into this squad. We have a quality, underrated unit because the Busoga Islands are a small country, but this type of performance we are capable of. Against all the odds, we played with confidence and conviction, and that is why we can be proud of our win.”

Starfire was asked about the harshness of the red card. “Well, you never want players to be sent off. That said, you’re going to have to ask the referee about his decision. He is the enforcer of the rules, not I, and I’ll let him talk about that one. It may have been harsh- but it was a harsh foul, and a strong reaction by the Vilitan midfielder.”

What does this mean for Group 13? The Busoga Islands, since their opening day win, had earned one point in their last 6 matches. This moves them up to 7 points. However, Vilita remains on 16 points- and, shockingly, in fourth place. Abanhfleft leads the group, with 21 points, while Savojarna has 19, Valladares 17, and Vilita, 16. This is going to be one of the most interesting groups to watch down the stretch. Four strong programs, four teams who all have an expectation to be playing in the Finals.

Just five points separate 1st place Abanhfleft from fourth place Vilita. And fourth place Vilita are the defending champs. The Islands will be in the role of spoiler. But after this one, after this incredible matchup, everyone will be on notice. While this country likely is competing for a Cup of Harmony berth, rather than a World Cup berth, they can certainly play spoiler for the rest of the group. If they can trip up the world #1s away from home, whose to say they can’t take points from Abanhfleft, Valladares, or Savojarna as well, who will all need all the points they can get?

The Busoga Islands can no longer be overlooked. And that will make the scramble for Group 13’s World Cup berths that much more fun.

[Balqia]

The sky was clear, the breeze gave the day the right mood for a walk in the park. However the National Team was training for their next match, this time the enemy was the first in ranking, and Primlid wanted to win this match to regain moral.
-Come on Faj, you can do better than this.- He yelled -Lift these fists Stefano. Markus, are you a man or a rat? Why are you avoiding the ball?
Janus too was training. He was jogging around the field with some teammates, Putiniq was leading and Kalta was in the end of the group.
-What an amazing game, wasn’t it?
Petriq was in his side. He was sweating, however his face let it clear that he could do this all the day.
-Yes, I mean, at least we didn’t lost.- Janus laughed.
-Oh, don’t worry, we can recover, it’s just a wave of bad luck.- He smiled -Good move… in the beginning. You advanced very fast, missing the goal was just bad luck.
-Oh, Primlid wanted to flay me for that. He told me to stay defensive. “Don’t advance, we are in a situation similar like that of the battle of the red river”- His imitation of Primlid made everyone around laugh -Well, id it wasn’t for my… for our advance the team surely would have lost.
-I must disagree. Remember that the guy who scored our first goal was Gezan-
That was true. Kalniq had a headache and Ozot couldn’t play because he had hurt his leg in the training. In the end Vladiqlav played his first game since the formation of the Team. He have done a good job, but his greatest move was to score the first goal of the match. He have kicked it with so much strength that it passed above the field and made an arch in the air, landing in the Adabian goal. This was an imitation of the goal scored in the finals of the BoF, however this time the goal was scored during the game.
-That’s what I call a lucky shot- Rigo was starting to get tired. -It was a shame to get a tie after that goal.
-Their forwards were very good, we in the middle and back had some trouble stopping them. Egliti in special had some trouble trying to block their advanced. Gezan have done an exceptional job, I must admit I thought we had lost. He never played in a match before. His ability surely surprised everyone.
-Yeah, their goalkeeper wasn’t so good, however the adabian focus on attack really made it difficult to even start advancing, in the beginning I was saying to myself “oh no, it’s the last game again.” But in the end we managed to counter them.
-For sure, both of their goals were made after a bunch of offensives, the guys of the back are having a lot more of work to do recently.
-Haha, that’s true. Well, at least the forward have some rest.
Both of them laughed, Petriq opened his mouth to say something but soon the coach whistled, time to change exercise. And so the conversation died.

[Taeshan]

It was an interesting matchday for the Purple Knights as they took on a relative unknown in Geektopia. Their opponents thus far had made some relatively interesting forays into the group getting a scalp or two and the Knights did not want to be added to the higher seeds dropping points on what could prove to be a pivotal matchday. With Free Republics visiting The Macabees, and Darmen visiting Cobrio it looked like one of the last chances of the first half of qualifying for the Purple Knights to make up some of the points between them and the top 2. The Knights for their part would prove to rather easily handle their opponents in a 4-1 drubbing, and would watch on as both of the leaders tied on the road pulling the Knights alone into second a point behind the leaders heading into the Penultimate matchday of the first half of qualifying.

It would prove to be a rather easy day for the Knights as the scoring got underway almost as quickly as the first whistle was blown. Xander McDrew's side was ready for the tough test as Captain Janson Jewsbury smashed a nice cross for Aleksandr Denisov to make it 1-0 in the 8th minute. The other forward, Abriel Torres, would make it 2-0 before the half off of a nicely worked through ball from Randall Abl Bakr. A few testy minutes were had at the start of the second half as the visitors pulled within one after a defensive mistake from Daigo Coshan let an open runner into the box to head home. The Knights though would quite the away contingent with a strong Shiloh Morgenstern goal from outside the box that got the Purple and Gold faithful to their feet for the young substitute. The Knights Right Back, Coshan, would make up for his earlier mistake with a nice assist to Miles Snavely to make the final tally 4-1 for the home side. They end their first half of qualifying with a road trip to Gladom Newion, a side they would hope to dismantle in such a way as this game, but games after all are not played on paper.

[Zwangzug]

"You okay?" Chevanthi asked. Subroto was slumping against a wall, eyes closed. Granted, this was far from unusual for Subroto, but all the same.

"Head," Subroto shrugged.

"Have a cracker."

"What the bleep is this?"

"I'm not actually sure," Chevanthi admitted. "I kinda found it in Satenik's locker. Maybe it's for stomach issues? The amount of junk she hauls around for being a new player is pretty impressive, I mean, we're only here for one game at a time, you know?"

Subroto bit down on the cracker, crumbs slowly trickling to the floor. He grunted.

"Zurab's probably starting this one so we can hang out on the bench and uh. Discuss the various online gaming personas of the Jeruselem team, I'm sure Desmond or somebody has an opinion."

"Jeruselem," Ricardo informed them, "kills the prophets and everybody who plays there must get stoned."

"I think you're thinking of somewhere else," said Micah.

"Come on, seriously," said Chevanthi. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Subroto glanced down, which was difficult because his field of vision wasn't too high up to begin with. "What if I don't get better?"

"What?"

"What if I, you know. Just have enough energy to run around for ninety minutes at a time, and then--nothing? Just pain and more pain?"

"Okay," said Chevanthi, starting to pace. "The worst-case scenario? Probably you fall unconscious from lack of nourishment first, assuming you can't eat because you throw everything back up."

"Uh--"

"So then we catch a train to a hospital or something, that'll be fine. Benefits of living in a country with good public infrastructure for transit as well as health care."

"Yeah, but--"

"And like, worst case scenario, you just drop dead or something. And then I'm not sure, depends whether you lean more to the reincarnation side or oblivion, I'm pretty taken with some Jorvelki-syncretist views on the afterlife, I know that's more of a Sharag thing so maybe you have some opinions--"

"Chevanthi..."

"But in case you're worried about, like, are we gonna moan and groan and be miserable and name things after you, no, of course not. The narrative wouldn't allow it, we're Zwangzug, you know? People have career-ending injuries and move on, life isn't fair."

"I guess...that's...kind of helpful. In its way. Thanks."

"Of course it is, I'm not the Forest captain for nothing."

"You're the Forest captain?"

"We are archrivals and you don't even know who our captain is? I'm kinda offended, honestly."

"You consider us your main rival? I mean, we do, but I thought you were busy hating Ephesian or someone. It's complicated, not symmetric all the time."

"Now there's the nerd I know and tolerate. Come on, we can argue over it on the bench."

[Sulsuland]

Oh GoD sulSU juST woke Up whaT diD SuLSU miSs

[Oberour Ar Moro]

⁂

“You know you can never rest, you can never relax”, said a seemingly thoroughly rested and thoroughly relaxed Kadvael Heault.

Brianne: I have a request to Antenne Sports so that I can verify Heault’s quotes, but that may take some time. I'll update you when I have comment from Heault.

Heault was leaned back in a chair in his well-appointed office, looking all the world like the professor he had once been.

Brianne: As you note later, he was a college professor before becoming a football manager.
Sieg: He doesn’t really seem like the type though, does he?
Brianne: It is hard for me to imagine him as anything but a guy on the television.

And why shouldn’t Heault be pleased? In his last four games as Oberour Ar Moro manager, the national team had won three and drew one. The draw was on the road against two-time World Cup Champions Audioslavia, the wins were clear-cut victories at the Parade Grounds against TigerSharkistan and San Rocca, and the most recent victory was a hard-fought, close-call win against Darkmania, the 75th ranked team in the world.

Brianne: All of this information is correct, though your notes don't have the date of the interview. Are you sure it was before the Kevagaria match?
Sieg: Would you even believe me if I said yes?
Brianne: If you had any documentation to verify the date I would appreciate it.

“We have deserved these recent results. Unlike the last World Cup qualification, this team is growing stronger with each game. And we have to. Unlike in the Football System, there are no games you can ease up in.”

Brianne: In your notes you wrote that Heault said “there are no games you can relax in”.
Sieg: He had said relaxed previously, as I wrote in the first line. I didn’t want to be repetitive, plus I could use that to lead into the San Rocca game.

The team certainly didn’t ease up against San Rocca, even though they changed over half the starting squad from their match against Audioslavia.

Brianne: Six of the starting eleven were new for that game.

We were speaking in Kadvael Heault’s office in the Ministry of Culture. The Football Management Committee made up one-quarter of the Jardins des Dechaume Orangerie.

Brianne: Orangeries are "room[s] or a dedicated building on the grounds of fashionable residences where orange and other fruit trees were protected during the winter, as a very large form of greenhouse or conservatory." What were the offices of the Football Management Committee are now the office of the Great Works Project Committee. Maybe you should include that?
Sieg: I am the writer here, thank you.

While the current interior does not match the Conogan Lecouvé-designed luxury, it’s still an impressive locale.

Brianne: Research since you wrote the article determined that while Conogan Lecouvé designed the main house of the Jardins des Dechaume, Antoine l’Oublaier designed the Orangerie with Lecouvé.
Sieg: That is new information, thank you. I’m not sure how to include that, if at all. I’ll discuss it with the editor.

“It’s a bit fancy for a football coach, but you can’t hate the luxury, just feel a bit awed by it”, Heault joked.

Heault’s office is similar to the kind of office he would have had during his time as a Professor of Epigraphy at Porphyrogene University.

Brianne: Epigraphy is the “study and interpretation of ancient inscriptions”.
Sieg: I know this.
Brianne: But the reader might not.
Sieg: They can look it up.

Pictures of his wife and his grandson fight for space with scouting reports. There isn’t a computer to be seen.

Brianne: I’m still waiting on word from Heault or from Antenne Sports. But I did read "Heault a Good Fit with Immortal" by Eflamig Lamy for The Collonade newspaper. It comes with a picture of Heault in his office while managing Regium Immortal, and in that picture, there's a computer. Did he not have a computer while with the national team.
Sieg: I don't remember one way or the other, but it is certainly a better visual, the manager, the academic, without electronics, just paper, and his
mind.

As we spoke he rolled and unrolled a stapled paper simply titled “Darkmania”, Oberour Ar Moro’s next opponent. “I enjoyed the work of being a professor, but I was probably a better dean than a professor.”

Brianne: Heault was the dean of the Porphyrogene University Classics Department for nine years before his retirement at age 57.

This makes sense. Even though Antenne Sports used Heault to break down football strategy, he does his best work in man management, inside the lock, r room and on the practice pitch.

Brianne: The article "Heault a Good Fit with Immortal" I mentioned previously noted this as well.

Regium Immortal under Kadvael Heault was made up of older players who believed in Heault completely.

Brianne: Regium Immortal, especially in his last season, had a few more thirty-plus-year-olds, but I'm not sure it was that much older than any other team.
Sieg: That is what everyone remembers about Regium Immortal. Or thinks they remember.
Brianne: But what if what you think you remember is wrong?
Sieg: With the past, there is not that much difference

When Heault announced he was leaving Regium Immortal after leading them to promotion, six Immortal players retired, not willing to play in the first division of Oberour football without Kadvael Heault.

Brianne: Raymond Gatrell, Dinan du Colombie, Paul Geffroy, Meven Chuillier and Gonery Renaudot retired from Regium Immortal after Heault left the team to coach the National Team. Dinan did say that he only wanted to play for Heault. However, Gatrell was on a one-year contract and wanted to play one season before returning to Blaneu. Meven Chuillier had been battling injuries over the past three seasons. Paul Geffroy expressed interest in going into coaching, while Gonery Renaudot retired to become the first manager of Volare. And that’s only five players anyway.
Sieg: Their reasons are too varied to include, and the essay is much more engaging if they all retired for the same reason.

⁂

---

The evening after the coronation of Kabaka Mwanga, Oberour Minister of Foreign Affairs Collas d’Arcueil attended a reception hosted by the Qusmo Embassy in Busukuma.

One of d’Arcueil’s great abilities was to sit for extended periods of time without appearing to break attention. His predecessor as Minister of Foreign Affairs, Nomen Trebert, was constantly yawning, which looked dreadful when he was representing Oberour Ar Moro abroad. It was then uncovered that the yawning was a side-effect of his depression medication, which was enough to send him out the door. d’Arcueil could only imagine how old Trebert would have handled all 500 members of the Lukiiko swearing loyalty one by one.

Even so, d’Arcueil was glad to be on his feet, and glad to be out of Oberour Ar Moro. During his time working his way up through Oberour Ar Moro, he had seen the Dominion’s interest in the outside world wax and wane, and seen the power of Ministers of Foreign Affairs diminish, but never much strengthen.

When d’Arcueil had taken the post as Minister for Foreign Affairs, he had insisted to Chancellor d’Eaue-Bonne that the post be given if not teeth, at least bones and sinew. So he was representing Oberour Ar Moro here in Banija, meeting with royals and presidents and important figures from Banija and across the multi-verse.

D’Arcueil was glad that he had brought his wife along. He certainly did not have any truck with Banija’s native traditions and certainly not their Church of Latter-Day Saints, but Adrrienne had found the entire trip absolutely charming. At least for d’Arcueil, any country with an untapped oil reserve is of interest to any and all self-respecting nations.

While d’Arcueil spoke with a Qusmo trade representative, he spotted his wife making her way through the crowd, walking with a spectacle of a man Collas could not believe he was actually seeing.

The man was a walking anachronism. He wore a long-coated three-piece suit made from blue velvet trimmed in gold braid, buttoned breeches buckled at the knee. His flowered white satin waistcoat reached mid-thigh. He looked like he had walked out of one of those old portraits at the Ministry.

Collas excused himself from his conversation with the Qusmi'y, and went to catch his wife and this stranger.

“Darling!” she spoke, “I have been having the most wonderful conversation with this gentleman and I absolutely had to introduce you to him.” She stepped to the side. “Collas, this is-”

“-Comte de Brumes, Minister.” The Comte stepped forward and seized Collas’ hand, a blur of motion. “And must I say Minister d’Arcueil, it is such an honor to finally meet you.”

He stepped back and looked the Minister up and down through dark piercing eyes, breathing deeply through his nose, before breathing out slowly, his head nodding slightly.

“Minister...you are going to do magnificent things."

---

Darkmania 3-4 Oberour Ar Moro
@ Tÿramël Städÿon, Tÿramël

Goals
30': Brevalan Gaspard, Oberour Ar Moro
38': Ruran l'Ermite, Oberour Ar Moro
49': Përsater, Darkmania
58': Brevalan Gaspard, Oberour Ar Moro
65': Tÿrn, Darkmania
81': Tÿrn, Darkmania
90+3': Kerrian Odierne, Oberour Ar Moro

Oberour Starting XI
GK Laurens Desainctvictori
LB Gilduin Sireu
RB Lunen Margas
SW Josselyn Pessiere, Captain
SW Marzhin Petit
LM Gurguy Durerie
RM Brevalan Gaspard
CM Jerian Pellier
LW Eneour Pique-Pain
RW Ruran l'Ermite
ST Kerrian Odierne

Oberour Susbstitues
58' Out: Ruran l'Ermite; In: Selyf Broderesse
70' Out: Marzhin Petit; In: Phelippon de Gentilli
85' Out: Jerian Pellier; In: Pierres Branon

Eighty-Second World Cup Qualification Schedule
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD1: Overour Ar Moro 2-2 Eura
MD2: Drawkland 5-4 Oberour Ar Moro
MD3: Oberour Ar Moro 1-1 Lochario
MD4: Rakivland 4-4 Oberour Ar Moro
MD5: Oberour Ar Moro 3-0 TigerSharkistan
MD6: Audioslavia 2-2 Oberour Ar Moro
MD7: Oberour Ar Moro 5-2 San Rocca
MD8: Darkmania 3-4 Oberour Ar Moro
MD9: Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1) v. Kevagaria (1-2-5)
MD10: Eura (6-2-0) v. Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1)
MD11: Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1) v. Drawkland (4-2-2)
MD12: Lochario (3-3-2) v. Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1)
MD13: Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1) v. Rakivland (0-4-4)
MD14: TigerSharkistan (2-1-5) v. Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1)
MD15: Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1) v. Audioslavia (6-1-1)
MD16: San Rocca (0-2-6) v. Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1)
MD17: Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1) v. Darkmania (4-1-3)
MD18: Kevagaria (1-2-4) v. Oberour Ar Moro (3-4-1)

[Valladares]

Palacio Quemado
Columbus, Mountbatten
8:00 AM

The big day had finally come. 107 Senators, 152 Representatives, 10 Governors, 402 Mayors, and several other councilors and deputies from all over Valladares were about to take possession of the posts and seats won in the most recent General Election, and while in most places of the country the atmosphere was one of celebration and expectation, the Mountbatten state was revolving between tension and expectation with their Governor and State Assembly assuming their posts away from Carloburgo and its Maynard Square, the usual place for these kind of events. In an unprecedented outcome, the Partido Hispánico de Mountbatten (a minor regional party drawing its support from the Spanish-speaking populace from Columbus and the eastern half of the Mountbatten state) was able to overcome its political limitations and the machinery used by the Labour and Liberal parties, the usual bosses of the state, in order to win the Governor election and take a large majority of seats in the State Assembly. Not content with that, the now majority PHM also moved the ceremony of posession of the Assembly to the historical Palacio Quemado in Columbus, seeking to "vindicate the former Valladar capital and its standing in history", which triggered the alarms within the state's political elite, well aware of the PHM's ultimate intention to secede Columbus and surroundings from the centre of regional power in Carloburgo. Whilst the PHM politicians entered the former Viceroyal residence smiling and accepting interviews, most of the Labour-Liberal coalition members refused to stop at the entrance and the few ones who did shouted angry harangues against their new rivals and their plans to divide Mountbatten by half. Former Liberal Governor William Davies, who was on the brink of failing to win a seat in the Assembly, warned about an ominous fate for the state and woved to prevent the Hispanics from executing their plan.

"We're about to see the beginning of our end, and our mission is to stop those maniacs cold before they raze with everything we've built! Just you watch..."

Even with the tense exchanges between both factions in the pre-ceremony, the event started at 10 AM as planned and right after the ending of the ceremony of possession of the Royal Parliament in Metropolis in which Jefferson Pratt was confirmed as Prime Minister for another four-year period. The elect Governor, Mario Valencia, as well as Royal Delegate Adrian Roberts and the 31 Assembly memebers stood up for the National Anthem of Valladares and the State Anthem of Mountbatten, and after that, the Delegate took the oath of the new Governor and Assembly, which then proceeded to elect its new Speaker and Board. The Partido Hispánico, with its clear majority, did not have much trouble in securing the Speaker position with veteran politician Álvaro Montillo, as well as the four other positions available in the Board. Montillo took advantage of his opening speech in order to present his first bill...or as they called it, the Bill of Secession:

"The Partido Hispánico de Mountbatten, in exercise of its political autonomy, and responding to the mandate of the people who supported it in the most recent election, wishes to bring to the attention of the Board of the Mountbatten State Assembly as well as its remaining members, the project to separate 46 municipalities of the Mountbatten state in order to form a new state of the Valladar Union for Spanish-speaking people, who form a large majority of the population in Eastern Mountbatten and are often marginalized by the decisions made in the city of Carloburgo..."

Just as Montillo said this, the Hispanics made their pleasure known by thunderous applause, whilst the Liberal and Labour politicians responded to the proposal with loud shouting, boos, and jeers, showing their evident disapproval to the bill, to which PHM politicians did not hesistate to retort:

"You can't do that! Bunch of bigots!"

"You wish to have two weakened states for you to rule instead of a powerful and strenghtened one! Traitors!"

"We are majority here and we will do what the people want, not what you want us to do!"

As the tempers flared, and several Assembly members from both sides were already on the brink of starting a brawl, the Royal Delegate asked the Board for the floor, in order to calm things down. The Board agreed to allow the Delegate to give his two cents on the matter.

"The Board grants the floor to the Most Excellent Royal Delegate of Mountbatten, sir Adrian Roberts. You are authorized to speak for two minutes."

The Delegate cleared his throat and started his speech:

"Esteemed members of the State Assembly of the Mountbatten State. The representative of His Highness, King Marcus of Valladares in the Mountbatten state, wishes to remind Mr. Montillo and the entire audience that a secession process is not as straightforward as it may seem. For that to ultimately happen, you must first consult the people, of the entire state, if they approve such a change. A victory in a general election is not synonymous, nor under any circumstance does it give any legitimacy to a proposal of such a caliber. Once they, in a separate democratic process, say yes to your proposal, then you can bring it and discuss it here. Then, if it passes in this arena, it must be submitted to the National Assembly in Metropolis for them to discuss. If they agree, and the proposal passes in that scenario, it all goes down to the Kings' prerrogative. Should they agree, it will become a fait accompli and the secession will proceed. But, if the proposal fails to pass at any stage, then you'll have lost all your time. You also have to consider that any future political allocation to the new state would be generated through the current allocation to the Mountbatten state. My invitation then, is to think carefully about the step you are about to take, its possible effects and whether there could be any other alternatives to solve the problem raised in your proposal instead of wasting precious time to solve the people's main needs by bickering and trying to push other non-prioritary issues into the legislative agenda. Thanks for your attention."

Having heard the Delegate's intervention, the mood for the Liberals and Labourists changed completely as they were sure the Hispanics would not have an easy job, despite counting with the majorities. On the other hand, Montillo and the rest of the Hispanics understood they needed to do things the right way in order to succeed in their goal. The discussion on the secession of Columbus, Aguablanca, and remaining municipalities of eastern Mountbatten was instead postponed to a later time, and the proposal was replaced with a motion to schedule a referendum to ask the people of the Mountbatten state whether they agreed on a possible division of their state or not, which was approved by absolute majority by the Assembly. After their recent electoral success, the Hispanics held high hopes to use their current momentum in order to convince the people to vote for their ideas once again, although the Liberal-Labour coalition were also confident this would be the chance to get even with their upstart rivals. The electoral battle was far from finished in the second most important state of Valladares...

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 82 Quals

Points of View: Expert's Columns

OPINION: Why New Lusitania Won't Be As Good as Last Time
Henrique Postiga, former FLF Player

Yes, It's only the halfway stage and it could be worse. Yes, Victor Santa Cruz has had tougher times. However, there's some reasons why we won't be as good as last time.
World Cup 81 was a Lusitanian Odyssey, a fairytale that thrilled us to the end. However, during World Cup 81 most favoured a mid-table finish for us, maybe third or fourth, and so we had a surprise factor. The team had many chances to simply leap into action completely unexpected.
There are a few other changes. For one, the way we play has changed. The retiring of star B.Silva has left a hole in attacking midfielder, one which linked up play and assists consistenly as well as a few goals. Whilst Breu seems to be the option for this, he doesn't carry the same flair as his former teammate. Other options, like Domingos Quina are still too "green".
The defence line has been way worse, as by this point last time, we were one of the best out there. The old lineup - Guerreiros, Dalot, Cédric - worked well, but injuries have prevented Dalot from playing in his alternative position. Finally, there's the way of play. For about a year after each cycle, New Lusitania gets shut off from Football as teams resort to their regional tournaments. The Selecção is part of a weaker region, which brought its Tournament back for the first time since 2009, having to adapt to the rest of the world through the Independent Associations Tournament. The fact is football has changed and the gap of skill between sides has been growing smaller in the last Internationals.
Group 8 is proof of this, as there isn't a clear result in any game. Minnows surprised Giants, Rookies get the best of Skilled teams. Despite this, Juvencus and South Covello have climbed up to the top three, whilst New Lusitania and the Alpine Union fall behind. This could be a potential indicator that New Lusitania aren't as ready as they thought they were, and that they might not be the contenders of, rather just a possible stone in someone's shoe.

OPINION:"Inexperience Still Shows, Though There's Hope"
Pedro Ribeiro, former player and Primeira Liga Manager. Tactical Analyst

New Lusitania is currently 50th in the Multiverse, but their rapid ascent might've worked out against them.
If you rewind back to the start of World Cup 80, set to be hosted in part by the Equestrian States, New Lusitania were 205th in the rankings. In the space of two cycles a country has gone up 150 places. In popular culture, the hosts have been seen as a good luck charm after good shows in Water Polo and in Football when they're hosts, and such a quick jump has all been done before, including by the equine outfit, but it always turns a few heads.
With our state of the art facilities and decent players, after a few cycles you'd think we'd be accustomed to the scene, and for the most part, that is true. However, as the title suggests, there's still a lot of "amateur hours" in the Selecção's playing time.
Not like the first two cycles when weaker players were actually the only resources of the team, no, but by the fact that many mistakes have been made this cycle. The exception for this is of course World Cup 81, albeit 80 also provided good performances. The games against Saint Émelie and Kernovi should've been handled though, and yet, they weren't. The game against Baranil is a good example as well, as a mistake in defence cost us a win. There's no point in dwelling in ifs and buts, although if we had won those three games, we'd be second behind Juvencus.
So what's the outlook for the second half of Qualifiers? We're still three points from qualifying somehow, despite our negative one goal difference and the fact we're exactly at mid-table. For half our remaining campaign, we will have to find alternatives for two main players, which are currently injured, and those are Rafa Guerreiros and Francisco Gama. Though we have no alternatives for Guerreiros, it seems Gama has a sub in Bernardo Veiga which is currently playing wonderfully at Leiria.
Due to this, it's most probable if we stay around this position, and if so, in this hard group, we'll be lucky if we get to the Cup of Harmony, on invitation. One can hope that we'll turn the situation around in the remaining ten games. Victor Santa Cruz has been experimenting and although he hasn't settled on one formation, 4-3-3 or 3-4-3 might be probable tactics. Though we've played two of the harder teams at home and two away, meaning it's all fair, as we receive the Alpine Union and current leaders Juvencus and visit South Covello and Baranil at home. Though we're likely to pull some draws off, some three pointers are necessary if not critical at this stage. Consistency in the draws is good, but we have to go further if we want to progress.


-------------------------------------
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MMXIX

[Kandorith]

Shinonome Kyoai - International
_________________________________

Kandorith Bounces Back

   Group 15                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Lisander                         8    6   1   1    16   12   +4    19
 2 Equestrian States                8    5   0   3    22   13   +9    15
 3 Mercedini                        8    4   2   2    21   14   +7    14
 4 Garifunya                        8    4   1   3    25   23   +2    13
 5 Kandorith                        8    3   1   4    18   18    0    10
 6 Pratapgadh                       8    2   3   3    16   18   −2     9
 7 Ancherion                        8    2   3   3    19   23   −4     9
 8 Krytenia                         8    2   3   3    14   20   −6     9
 9 Indusse                          8    2   2   4    10   12   −2     8
10 Zeniyadh                         8    0   4   4    11   19   −8     4

Tenkyo, After a series of controversial defeats, the Kandorese team was headed towards the last spot in the group; to the relief of the fans this never happened. With the latest matches Kandorith has been showing more composure and the questionable defending seems to be a thing of the past. More so, the team seems to focus on the midfield in a more controlled matter compared to the start of the campaign. Kandorith qualifying though, is while not impossible, quite improbable.

The head coach Moriyase however is praised as one of the best coaches of the Kandorese national team, the most successful one in modern history. His abilities to indeed keep his promise to revive a team that can hold up itself against international opponents and score goals worked out. Kandorith, having beaten both Ancherion and Indusse gave them a kick start for the remaining of the qualification campaign.

With the morale reaching an all-time high, the Kandorese team will move into a desperate attempt to close the qualification campaign successfully. The Kandorese people are not disappointed at all, even if the team will be eliminated. The Kandorese national team has been the most discussed topic on national social media for an extensive time now, showing football can be officially called the most popular national sport now. With the revival of Kandorith on the international stage, a new era has been started by Moriyase. Surely, many interesting years will follow.

[Polkopia]

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 (Part 1) • Chapter 4 (Part 2)

05. Anton (Part 1)

The sound of a stream of liquid filling an empty metallic container woke Anton from a restless slumber and he wrinkled his nose at the foul scent of his housemate urinating into his chamber pot. He rolled over in his cot and groaned, stretching out his limbs to either side of him before wincing as he felt the sharp pain of a straw pierce his skin as he maneuvered his body about the cot. It was still too dark to tell, but he knew he'd have to find somebody to knit him a new quilt for his bedding, as his current one was old and warn, and was dotted with holes and tears from the ragged straw layer underneath.

He heard movement about the room and assumed the rest of his housemates were starting to awaken in order to start their day as well. Anton said a short prayer and rolled out of bed before dragging himself outside, where a cluster of people had already formed of those ready to begin the day's work. Anton scanned the crowd and didn't see his father, but he shrugged it off and assumed that his father was still getting out of bed.

"Listen up!" A booming voice erupted from among the peasants, "We have a long day ahead of us! Lord Diga demands that we meet our weekly quota, so I'm here to ensure that it gets done!"

The voice belonged to Ilya Martil, one of two of Lord Diga's khočniki. Khočnik Martil seldom made an appearance at Mur'kumska, but when he did, it was in order to work the peasants night and day until the impossibly high quotas set by Lord Diga were met. The last time he was here was during the growing season. Anton winced as he remembered the pain he felt that day as if the lashes he received were dealt only moments ago. As everyone began to get in formation and separated themselves based off of their duty, Anton saw quick glimpses of his mother and father in the sea of people. He hadn't worked directly with his parents in quite some time - his father had been far too sick to work lately and today was to be his first day back in the fields, while his mother was tasked with household chores rather than hard labor out in the fields.

Anton joined the larger crowd of those working in the fields and did his best not to make eye contact with Khočnik Martil, who paced back and forth in front of the group. He wore a dark green officer uniform and a maroon sash overlapped along his torso. Normally, those in high-ranking positions would display their medals along their sash with each medal highlighting a great accomplishment achieved in the field of battle, however Khočnik Martil only had two, though Anton had no idea what either of them represented. His face was terribly rugged, despite being a man of such a young age and his sandy blonde hair was already balding, though it was not visible underneath his officer hat at the moment. His voice was terribly hoarse and Anton liked to image that Khočnik Martil was in great pain every time he opened his mouth to speak.

Anton stood next to his father, but withheld embracing him at the moment. "It's good to see you again, son." He heard his father's voice next to him. "I hope you've been well."

Anton smiled and looked up at his father, who returned the same smile back.

"Now!" Khočnik Martil's voice interrupted the exchange between the two. "You all are to head out to the fields immediately and begin harvesting your share of potatoes for the day! In order to meet today's quota, you are all tasked with collecting thirty baskets of potatoes by sundown!"

Thirty baskets? It was all Anton could do to restrain himself from letting out a miserable groan. Anton assumed everyone around him felt the same, as this invoked a series of hushed whispers among the peasantry.

"Enough!" Khočnik spat at them. "I will be making rounds while you collect your share to ensure each and every one of you is pulling their weight! Now we don't have much time, so hurry along and grab a basket. I'll see you out in the fields!"

Anton and the crowd made their way over to the perimeter of the fields where the baskets were scattered around the earth in a random pattern. Anton himself could crawl into a ball and manage to fit entirely inside one of these baskets if he chose to do so - he couldn't imagine how long it would take to fill an entire backet with potatoes, let along thirty of them!

[Kita-Hinode]

OPINION
Lingard's Poltergeists lack a Kyung-Ja
Written by Nami Niikara, former Sakurahana state team player
THE CELESTIAL CAPITAL OF TENTAI CITY - The astute of you that happen to check the current standings of the Group 10 will be able to notice that the Hinodejin Empire, the second seed of this group, is currently sitting near the middle of the standings, five points away of proper qualification. Not to blame Eleanor Lingard's efforts with the Hinodejin Empire's team, given that not only Hinodejin football hasn't fully progressed from its' status as a rather stagnant affair back home that has so far underperformed, given the status of the Empire as a whole against other nations, not only is this Mrs. Lingard's first try as a national team manager but she's also doing it without the unarguable best player of the Empire, whom she might've had a hand on retiring, although let's be very honest here, Sang Kyung-Ja's departure from the world of football was something the Nepharim had no blame on.

You could say there is a myriad of reasons behind the Hinodejin's middling run so far, the fact that these qualifiers have been filled with some of the most bone-crushing action of the past few years, with every team giving it their all and some more to advance to the hallowed World Cup. You could additionally say that there's a small misconnection between talent and attitude, something that one can see from the likes of Kamalani Kanani and Mimi Akazukin, players with a lot of attitudes but with skills that sadly seem to lack the consistency to go along with. But I, Nami Niikara, would like to point out the obvious here. We need a player like Sang Kyung-Ja and we need it as soon as possible. If the Empire is to have any hope of qualifying to the tournament proper, it needs a key player that can generate plays and come back to defend, a player that is just... unique, special, able to amaze yet hold firm.

The presence of an unique player is really what's lacking in this "uncommon" qualifiers. Credit for image: International Street Football 2, Igaco Snowflake

Kyung-Ja wasn't just a name from the Joseon plains but rather a very good player at the one function that every team needs, the maestro. The Hinodejin Empire's current team simply doesn't have that. It has a lot of physical strength thanks to players like Raiden Kojima and, again, Kamalani Kanani, but the team really needs some technical skill that can match well against foreign powers. Names like Ikki Tokei and Choji Matsumono-Gide come to mind but they're still developing, so they can't be depended upon. Lingard's biggest challenge will be the qualification, in all honesty. But let's give the Nepharim time. She deserves it.

[Saltstead]

---

The Beet

---

Special Report: What the actual hell is going on here?
The Stallions are intent on invoking Poe’s Law as they look set to stumble into a second straight World Cup finals

The reaction of everyone and their mother after looking at the Group 11 table
(Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Oliver Hassanal)

Ashwell — No, we actually want to know what’s going on here.

The way events have transpired over the last three years, it appears that the Royal Saltsteadish Football Federation is intent on turning itself into a work of satire. When the main stage of last cycle’s World Cup qualifiers ended, everyone proclaimed the perpetual mediocrity of the Stallions, only to discover that the Garifunya Football Association had failed to file the proper papers to participate in the playoffs. With the organising committee informed on such short notice, it was decided to disqualify Garifunya and hand the playoff slot they had earned as group runners-up to Saltstead as the next team down the table.

In a now infamous open letter to manager Gay Ware, the Federation ripped into her for Saltstead’s showing: “As I am sure you are aware, Saltstead have failed. Yes, as you may retort, the Stallions may be in the playoffs, but only by the grace of God... God has saved you once, but if you cannot capitalise on that grace, this playoff will be the last pair of matches you ever manage for the national team.”

Seeded last in the playoff draw due to the circumstances of their entry, Saltstead would have to face the best of the runners-up: namely Drawkland. The Kick Corps had never previously failed in their attempts to qualify, but found themselves looking in on the finals from outside due to the most absurd goal of Saltstead’s campaign: Carle de Marħt’s shot on target was denied by the keeper, only to rebound in off of Otto Stephenssen. The euphoria did not last long thanks to a series of riot-induced injuries which contributed to an unfortunate group stage exit, but the playoff marked the possible dawn of—pardon the terrible pun—a very saline era for the World Cup.

The draw for the World Cup 82 qualifying groups threw up a collection of teams which made the mouths of every Saltsteader salivate, thinking silently to themselves “lecker”. (“Tasty” for you non-Saltsteadish heathens.) An eclectic group with different, though generally upward, trajectories would clash for two sets of tickets to the World Cup finals. Cosumar, Mattijana and Kavagrad would seek to build off recent semifinal appearances in the regionals (or IAC in the case of the Redhearts). Saltstead would be out to prove their that their first successful World Cup qualification was not a fluke, while Qusmo would set out to qualify for the first time themselves after a meteoric rise to prominence. Mytanija would be looking to reestablish their brand of football, Alluersia would seek the chance to establish themselves as a fully-fledged nation, Velestria would strut their new branding and Sajnur and Vartugia would strive not to embarrass themselves.

The campaign started in the most Saltsteadish manner possible—a 1–0 win at home to a low-ranked side, namely Alluersia—but not a single match in the group ended in a draw on matchday one. On matchday two, top seeds Cosumar were tripped up in Velestria and left with a scoreless draw; a draw between Mattijana and Mytanija opened the way for Saltstead to take an early lead, which was duly taken thanks to a 3–1 win against Sajnur. The Redhearts then hosted the Stallions and gained a credible 1–1 draw against the second seeds, allowing Qusmo to take top spot with a win in Mytanija. Their perfect streak was soon snapped with a home loss to Cosumar, who promptly took the lead, while Saltstead climbed to second with a 2–0 victory over a flaccid Mytanar team. With one point between first and third, a droll and scoreless affair in Ramusok between the two top teams paved a golden path for Qusmo to retake top spot, but the Qusmi’y took a youee on the way there: both sides came up scoreless in their visit to Vartugia.

(We seem to be inadvertently alliterating a lot. We should probably stop.)

So far, so normal. The real fun started on matchday six, which kicked into high gear with Velestria claiming a 0–0 draw in Qusmo. The Stallions despatched Vartugia in a bizarre 2–0 win where each side scored one of the goals—though it just so happened the visitors scored theirs against themselves. The headline of the day, though, was in Sajnur, who scalped Cosumar 2–1 to throw the lead back to Saltstead. The Vanquishers recovered to beat Kavagrad at home and later learned, to their relief, that Saltstead were impotent in Velestria, unable to penetrate the goal of Diamond Gregory.

Oh, and Mattijana beat Qusmo 5–3. So there’s also that. And their 2–0 loss in Alluersia.

Fast forward to Saltstead’s home game against Mattijana and the Stallions built an early two goal lead off the first half heroics of Martin Wissen and Michael d’ Angel, only for Mattijana’s Mathilde Lekarisa to score in injury time. Lekarisa’s exploits weren’t done there, as she also equalised in the early minutes of the second half, leaving De Nationalėpark dazed and confused. As the final whistle approached, it appeared that Saltstead would drop another two points, only for fate to strike in the most bizarre fashion: a wayward strike of desperation from D’ Angel was redirected into the net by an overeager Rikard Illicić. 3–2.

It’s almost like fate wants us to pair out gleaming, freshly qualified faces with a side of egg. Now, Illicić was doing his job and the stress of a high profile match can surely affect one’s judgement; it’s not ideal, but we plebeians would probably make even more stupid and horrifying mistakes if we were on the pitch in the red-and-black hoops. Saltstead’s lead has now extended to three points thanks to Cosumar’s thrilling six-goal draw in Mytanija, but every good thing that happens to Saltstead seems to be of someone else’s doing and we’re not sure whether this is intentional or if it’s some cosmic planetary alignment or some divine curse to undermine everything every Saltsteader has ever cherished. Next we’ll see Qusmo pelt seven into the back of their own net in some misguided belief that the scoring works like golf.

So really, we want to know what the hell is going on. If the Stallions can play out better satire than we as a nation can write, that is worthy of a Royal Commission. If you’re reading this, Your Majesty, we want to know what the hell is going on. Get some people on it. I’m sure you can afford it.

Also, we should probably mention at some point that Mytanija are shit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —TB

[Siovanija and Teusland]

”Thorsten Kramer on the ball now, we’re nearing the end of proceedings in the first half but there could still be time for a moment of brilliance from the 1830 Cathair midfielder. It’s all square 0-0 here between Siovanija and Teusland and Ko-oren.”

Seconds make up the most basic units of time. For professional athletes, seconds are complicated: what decisions to make, what shot to take. The decision you make can turn you into a hero, or turn you into a zero instantly. For Thorsten Kramer, he sensed a great chance in this particular moment.

Coming into the match on a 3-game winning streak, the Goldhorns were hoping to perhaps knick a point off Ko-oren, and bring themselves back into the race for the top 2 spots in Group 5. The 23rd ranked side in the world, however, were obviously no pushovers, and they were wanting a win at home to increase their stature in a group that had been anything but normal so far.

Ko-oren had taken control over the early stages of the match, looking good in possession. But the gritty Goldhorns dug deep and pulled themselves out, dangerous on the counter and threatening the goal. An important tackle from Karl-Heinz Jager, the new boy fitting in very well throughout these Qualifiers so far, had brought the Goldhorns into possession here in the 44th minute.

”Kramer….he’s got several options here, Romanov running in, Ribbeck also trying to find position in the box. Kramer moves forward now, getting past Yokota.”

Now was time for his decision to be made. Kramer had a good feeling on the right side, and he sent a ball forward for Ivo Romanov. The dominant winger beat Alan Brogley to make his way into the box, and then cut in towards the goal. A great shot from Romanov beat Theshenden to his near post, and all of a sudden, the Goldhorns held a 1-0 lead on the road.

”Romanov! Goldhorns in front here, as Ivo Romanov’s great strike puts them into the lead. Not the end to the half the hosts were hoping for, but a big statement from Siovanija and Teusland.”

The Goldhorns celebrated, and headed back to their positions to restart the action. No point in wasting valuable seconds that could be needed later on. Mata Vaugrenard tapped the ball over for Tsuchida, and the Dragonflies started to break forward to avenge Romanov’s effort. The Goldhorns retreated back, focused on defence.

Kramer waited, playing slightly higher up the pitch this time. It was perhaps irresponsible defensively, but Kramer sensed something. The Goldhorns seemed driven, motivated, maybe they could get something more here. Raphael Klopfer made a great tackle to win the ball back, giving it to Jager. Kramer had played with the young centre back enough times now to know what to do.

”Klopfer with a great tackle, he gives it over to Jager. Jager looks up the pitch now, and sees the running Thorsten Kramer. Kramer getting further and further forward now, Jager sends in the long ball, and Kramer receives the pass.”

Kramer could tell that his teammates were rushing forward to join him in the attack, but the same premonition that had told him to stay forward told him to keep going now, no matter what. He managed to avoid the tackle of Yokota, and broke forward with the ball. Only 1 minute had been added on to the half, this would be its last action. There was no time to wait around.

”Kramer bearing in on goal, he’s beaten Yokota, there’s only 1 other defender left, Kramer manages to get past him, now he’s in on the goalkeeper!”

What decision to make, what shot to take. The keeper came off the line a bit, and Kramer sensed blood. He ran out to his left side and pulled a powered shot across his body into the top right corner.

”Kramer! What a goal! An inspired effort from Thorsten Kramer sees Siovanija and Teusland go into the halftime 2-0 up on Ko-oren. The hosts have it all to do now, and the visiting supporters are in the clouds as Kramer rushes over to them!”

147 seconds. That was all it took for the match to turn on its head completely. Kramer clearly had made the right decision.

Siovanija and Teusland 3-0 Ko-oren

Siovanija and Teusland XI (4-4-2): Venev; L. Dimitrov, Klopfer, Jager, Daschner (Helmke 60’); Kruger (Leistner 85’), Kramer, V. Dimitrov, Romanov; Kynev (Kostov 60’), Ribbeck
Goals: Ivo Romanov 44’, Thorsten Kramer 45+1’, Michael Ribbeck 71’
Match Report: A major upset win for the Goldhorns here, as they defeat Ko-oren 3-0 away from home. Ivo Romanov and Thorsten Kramer went back to back for the Goldhorns in the final minutes of the first half, changing the setting completely for the second half. Ko-oren attacked valiantly, but could not find the back of Viktor Venev’s net. Michael Ribbeck added insurance in the 71st, and all was said and done from there. Next up, the Goldhorns will welcome Bongo Johnson to Borograd in the final match of the first half of World Cup 82 Qualifiers.

[Cosumar]

Mayhem in Miago a microcosm of Cosumar's Qualifying quest


by Akul Van Exel
World Cup Beat Reporter

MIAGO, MYTANIJA -- In hostile conditions against an opponent with their backs against the wall, the Cosumar national team took another sideways step in their path to qualify for World Cup 82 last night at Miagostdion.

Reflecting the last few matchdays as a whole, the game was a roller-coaster of emotions. Like the first stumble away at Velestria, Cosumarites were left shaking their heads early on as Tahir Fejzuli got into the box and slipped a pass back to Jezdimir Ocokoljic to tap home to give Mytanija a 1-0 lead. Soon thereafter, an unexpected decision gave us a new spark of hope. Within this game, instead of it being Pearce's decision to hand Arden Lemons a debut start (which led to a hat trick), it was the referee's decision that Jasno Odonolec handled the ball in his own box to deny a goalscoring opportunity. Although Isla Sibučić's penalty was palmed away by Pedja Kasun, it led to an ensuing sequence that the Fevelian capped off to redeem herself.

Sanity was restored, and laid the foundation for confidence to return. Just like the momentous Matchday 4 win over Qusmo, the Vanquishers were able to transform this turn of events into some momentum at a time when the match - or indeed Qualifying as a whole - seemed to be heading to a critical crossroads. Indeed, just before half time, they struck again to make it 2-1.

Surely, that was that. The path was cleared for Cosumar to cruise the rest of the way, right? Nooope. That's when the roller coaster took two unexpected dips. Just like the mind-numbing scoreless draw against visiting Saltstead and shock last-second loss in Sajnur, the team couldn't handle success. Minds turned off. Literally seconds after returning from the break (AKA the trip to Qusmo, for those following the parallels) with their 2-1 lead, the Cosumarites allowed Grigor Todorov to dribble through their defense and slot home an equalizer. This despite having an extra man to defend with!

Like Matchday 7's nervy 1-0 win over Kavagrad, we were able to dust ourselves off and right the ship somewhat, albeit not in a very satisfying way. Watching Niksa Obadko clumsily stab Hakki Ojala's speculative something (shot? pass? overhit dribble?) into his own net was about as gratifying as watching us take 70 minutes and all three substitutes to score against Kavagrad at home.

That leads us here to Mytanija on Matchday 8, completing the microcosm of Qualifying within itself. This away trip would've been circled on Alexander Pearce's calendar as a tough one ever since the draw, a factor no doubt exacerbated by their desire to fight for Lev Repin's job (and reputation). If Cosumar had taken care of business against Sajnur and Velestria, a 3-3 draw would've been acceptable. But in context, it's another maddening sidestep that will have the likes of Saltstead and Qusmo smelling blood in the water. Similarly, after the lapses he'd already witnessed at Miagostadion, the stoppage time equalizer by Alen Zekic would've been a liberal dash of salt into Pearce's eyes.

As with this Qualifying cycle as a whole, there were positives to take away - Taka Masatoshi's goal + assist on his international debut adding to the list of reserves staking a claim - but each high quickly followed by a proverbial sugar crash. If Cosumar is to obtain the ultimate high of World Cup qualification, this worrying pattern must be smoothened out -- and fast.

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Cosumar 6-0 Vartugia
B. Tidesson 33', Zeale-Riddick 36', Sibučić 51', Valgard 75', Pakkanen 81', Zeale-Riddick 84'
Assisted by Valgard, B. Tidesson, Söderquist, Aedelbrandt, Aedelbrandt, Aedelbrandt
Selection: Na'Kefir; Na'Kale, Svensson, A. Tidesson, Pakkanen; Söderquist, Mokumdarian (Fireblade); Sibučić (Abylon), B. Tidesson (Aedelbrandt); Valgard, Zeale-Riddick
Matchday 1 | @ Fire River Arena, Ramusok

Velestria 0-0 Cosumar
No scorers
Selection: Weschler; Va'Afaja, Na'Duha, Chaumancer, Pakkanen (Tricklebank); Söderquist, Mokumdarian; Sibučić, B. Tidesson; Valgard (Texström), Zeale-Riddick (Ruhl)
Matchday 2 | @ Hartford Park, Southampshire

Cosumar 3-2 Mattijana
Lemons 45+1', 49', 58'
Assisted by Valgard, Dyer Vry, Sibučić
Selection: Na'Kefir; Va'Afaja, Svensson, Chaumancer, Uribe; Viablaine, Mokumdarian; Sibučić, Dyer Vry (Abylon); Lemons (B. Tidesson), Valgard (Blaylock)
Matchday 3 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Qusmo 1-3 Cosumar
Chaumancer 37', B. Tidesson 50', Valgard 81'
Assisted by B. Tidesson, Pakkanen, Couturiaux
Selection: Na'Kefir; Na'Kale, Na'Duha, Chaumancer, Pakkanen; Söderquist, Mokumdarian (Aedelbrandt); Sibučić (Ojala), B. Tidesson; Lemons (Couturiaux), Valgard
Matchday 4 | @ Mastad Qusma, Qusmo

Cosumar 0-0 Saltstead
No scorers
Selection: Na'Kefir; Va'Afaja, Na'Duha, Chaumancer, Pakkanen; Söderquist, Tricklebank (Mokumdarian); Sibučić (Marsteller), B. Tidesson (Sade); Valgard, Zeale-Riddick
Matchday 5 | @ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic

Sajnur 2-1 Cosumar
Texström 37'
Assisted by Valgard
Selection: Na'Kefir; Na'Duha, Svensson, Solari; Söderquist, Tricklebank, Mokumdarian (Serafino); Sibučić (Pakkenen); Texström, Valgard (Zeale-Riddick), B. Tidesson
Matchday 6 | @ National Stadium, Javoser

Cosumar 1-0 Kavagrad
Sade 69'
Assisted by Serafino
Selection: Weschler; Chaumancer, Svensson (Pakkanen), Solari; Söderquist (Sibučić), Tricklebank, Serafino; Antúnes; Aedelbrandt, Valgard, B. Tidesson (Sade)
Matchday 7 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Mytanija 3-3 Cosumar
Masatoshi 28', Sibučić 45', MYT Own Goal 65'
Assisted by Chaumancer, Masatoshi, Ojala
Selection: Na'Kefir; Na'Kale, A. Tidesson, Chaumancer, Uribe; Söderquist, Tricklebank (Antúnes); Sibučić, Ojala (B. Tidesson); Masatoshi, Ruhl (Dyer Vry)
Matchday 8 | @ Miagostadion, Miago

Cosumar vs. Alluersia
Selection:
Matchday 9 | @ Orangi Stadium, Crawford

Vartugia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 10 | @ (Any field that dosent fit for football), Vartugia

Cosumar vs. Velestria
Matchday 11 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Mattijana vs. Cosumar
Matchday 12 | @ Stadijo Dinamov, Petrovijanka

Cosumar vs. Qusmo
Matchday 13 | @ The Klyde Sportsplex, Klyde

Saltstead vs. Cosumar
Matchday 14 | @ King William VII National Park, Ashwell

Cosumar vs. Sajnur
Matchday 15 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Kavagrad vs. Cosumar
Matchday 16 | @ Kavagrad National Stadium

Cosumar vs. Mytanija
Matchday 17 | @ Alesund Stadion, Samotath

Alluersia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 18 | @ Alluersia

Goals
Arden Lemons (3)
Vega Zeale-Riddick (2)
Bryger Tidesson (2)
Romikk Valgard (2)
Isla Sibučić (2)
Ville Pakkanen (1)
Horatius Chaumancer (1)
Olvir Texström (1)
Elodie Sade (1)
Taka Masatoshi (1)

Assists
Zoë Aedelbrandt (3)
Romikk Valgard (3)
Bryger Tidesson (2)
Stig Söderquist (1)
Isla Sibučić (1)
Charles Dyer Vry (1)
Ville Pakkanen (1)
Will Couturiaux (1)
Bellerophon Serafino (1)
Taka Masatoshi (1)
Horatius Chaumancer (1)
Hakki Ojala (1)

Appearances
Maia Abylon (2)
Zoë Aedelbrandt (3)
Hidalgo Antúnes (2)
Dakota Blaylock (1)
Horatius Chaumancer (6)
Will Couturiaux (1)
Charles Dyer Vry (2)
Harald Fireblade (1)
Arden Lemons (2)
Sen Marsteller (1)
Taka Masatoshi (1)
Kai-Kai Mokumdarian (6)
Kadija Na'Duha (4)
Bacary Na'Kale (3)
Shjegrzh Na’Kefir (6)
Hakki Ojala (2)
Ville Pakkanen (6)
Airik Ruhl (2)
Elodie Sade (2)
Bellerophon Serafino (2)
Isla Sibučić (8)
Stig Söderquist (7)
Eero Solari (2)
Peter Svensson (4)
Olvir Texström (2)
Alfred Tidesson (2)
Bryger Tidesson (8)
Dexter Tricklebank (5)
Thomas Uribe (2)
Q'orianka Va'Afaja (3)
Romikk Valgard (7)
Hansi Weschler (2)
Vega Zeale-Riddick (4)
Viablaine (1)

[Tinhampton]

OOC: Some IC political satire whilst Air Conditioning takes a break for mid-quals.

---

Tinhamptonian election (noun): The uninformed being forced to vote for the unexpected being understood by the unprepared for an unspecified amount of time in an unsuccessful attempt to meet unfulfilable promises in an unwieldy multi-party coalition, resulting in an unsurprising two years of uncouth behaviour. What a load of underwear.

[Apox]

Here Be Dragons

Tonight, I'm feeling stronger than ever.

MD9 cutoff for Groups 8-15

[Cosumar]

Here Be Dragons

There ain't no rest for the wicked... unless it's the mid-qualifying break. Enjoy the day off and recharge those RP batteries.

MD9 Cutoff for Groups 1-7