World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

by **Qusmo** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:15 pm

This is what happens when (i) you know that you want to include tons of dog gifs in an RP for no particular reason & (ii) you have almost time in which to do it. Have fun.

Group 9
Savalen 0–2 Karulicja
New Gazi 0–2 Eastfield Lodge
Qusmo 0–0 Valanora
Axuva 2–1 Nuadh-Alba
Rakivland 0–3 Polkopia

Group 9                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Valanora                         16   12   2   2    45   20  +25    38
 2 Polkopia                         16   11   2   3    33   20  +13    35
 3 Qusmo                            16    9   4   3    27    9  +18    31
 4 Eastfield Lodge                  16    8   4   4    33   21  +12    28
 5 New Gazi                         16    8   2   6    26   22   +4    26
 6 Karulicja                        16    8   1   7    33   26   +7    25
 7 Savalen                          16    6   1   9    19   25   −6    19
 8 Rakivland                        16    3   4   9    26   34   −8    13
 9 Axuva                            16    3   1  12    18   49  −31    10
10 Nuadh-Alba                       16    0   3  13    10   44  −34     3

QNT maintains clean sheet against Valanora but falls behind in playoff race
Qusmo 0–0 Valanora
Mastad Qusma, Qanz, Qusmo (cap. 80 000)
GK  Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
CB  Zenon-Gerol Kal
CB  Yelto-Alfan Ono
CM  Yamaj-Blonz Jok
85’ Prant-Pertz Gor
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
AM  Gavax-Nenzi Abe
LM  Kynda-Sevet Pec
78’ Ozolx-Mazur Guv
RM  Forzu-Ralox Kal
78’ Jralv-Nexev Pec
SS  Paliv-Xilit Max
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol

by **Polkopia** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:32 pm

Olympik Restnov is a club which plays in the Polkopian Premier League. At the end of the last season, the farmers finished in 7th place and continue to play in the top flight of Polkopian football for the upcoming season. The team currently plays in the city of Restnov, and their home ground is the Abofok Arena, which seats up to 40,221 spectators.

History:

Although there already existed a club team based in the city of Restnov, in 1973 the PFA took on the decision to install another club in Restnov after seeing the success of Mordavia FC and the revenue the club generated for the organization. The original club logo was designed to be an industrial worker in commemoration of Restnov's booming manufactory sector but was changed to a rooster in 1995 after the manufactory sector was moved to some of Polkopia's more rural areas and the farming industry became one of Restnov's leading industries. At that point, the club's nickname became Restnovki, meaning Restnov men.

In 1978 the club went on to win its first title, and would go on to win three more throughout the 1980's. This period is often regarded as Olympik Restnov's 'Golden years' by most of the club's supporters. In the 1990's, their success started to deteriorate, though not by much, as the club managed to clinch third place for two consecutive seasons, but aside from that, the club failed to break into the top 5.

In 1999, the club came under heavy criticism as it was found that striker Leonid Drum had been using illegal substances in order to gain unfair advantages while on the pitch, and later it was revealed that these substances were given in a controlled environment by Olympik Restnov's head trainer, Ilya Paolo. The club was sanctioned with a substantial fine and Paolo was forced to retire.

Throughout the 2000's, the club saw mixed results. For instance, in 2004, the club won its fifth title but two years later ended the season at 14th place and was nearly relegated as a result. Many fans of Olympik Restnov make their frustrations known about the unpredictability of the club's results, and launched an underground betting campaign in 2012 where fans pooled their money together and the spoils were divided among those who were able to correctly guess the club's finishing position. In 2016 the club was disbanded, but the memory lives on in various social media platforms.

In 2015, the club was disbanded, along with the other Polkopian clubs, due to a large-scale corruption scandal across the entirety of the PFA. The club was reestablished the following year and Olympik Restnov participated in the 2017-18 Polkopian Premier League, finishing 7th out of 16 teams.

Squad:

##       POS.        NAME.                                                   
#1       GK       Damir Yež
#2       GK       Dyuro Horvat
#3       GK       Kalin Popov
#13      DEF      Sergei Firogradov
#29      DEF      Vadim Mikhailovsky
#42      DEF      Paavo Franić
#30      DEF      Roman Shenkov
#81      DEF      Anatoliy Mihov
#37      DEF      Innokenti Kaspenko
#10      MID      Bohuslav Kasu
#12      MID      Mykola Lagounov
#9       MID      Adriyan Iliev
#22      MID      Dario Yaksun
#7       MID      Boris Setiv
#24      MID      Viktor Ipsvil
#11      FWD      Vladimir Atanaso
#34      FWD      Igor Milović
#16      FWD      Gordan Vukoya
#18      FWD      Miro Nikolov

by **East Belzaria** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:17 pm

Coming off a 2-1 victory in which Monte opened the scoring in the first half and then Radclyffe cancelled out Lochario's equalizer with a beautiful volley in the second, East Belzaria travelled to the Equestrian States. In their first encounter, on East Belzarian soil, the East Belzaria team managed to take the lead twice, but in the end they had to settle for an impressive 3-3 draw.

Coming into the next game, this time in the Equestrian States, David Madridson's East Belzaria team were looking to win to achieve their 25 points target with 2 to play. It was a closer game, and both sides played a tight defensive game. But midway through the second half, East Belzaria counterattacked, with Monte pushing forward with the ball. He played a beautiful pass into Shad Radclyffe who hit the post, but Harada Lopez was there and slotted it home. At the final whistle, East Belzarian fans could be heard cheering. They just won a game against the #17 ranked team in the world. Luckily for the Ponies, their nearest rivals Saltstead also lost and couldn't capitalize.

"We've hit our target early!" says David Madridson "So let's finish it off strong. Sharktail and Penguiland are both bellow us. Let's win some points and see if we can get up to 5th, or if we're lucky 4th." East Belzaria's final home game of the campaign is at Complex A stadium against Sharktail. Tickets are already sold out. The East Belzarians are eager to win as many points as they can before their World Cup 81 story comes to an end. When asked about World Cup 82, the East Belzarian FA confirmed they were already making prepaprations to compete again. With the increased popularity of football, things will get interesting when that campaign begins.

by **95X** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:02 pm

Jason Ninetyfivex and some administrators are looking over the latest results.

"It appears we've been eliminated," an administrator says.

"It's part-chance," Ninetyfivex replies. "Maybe by the next tournament, we'll have revenue from the new sponsorship deal. And we can field the real NT."

"But we're close to insolvency," an accounting administrator says. "This would be a good time to shut the doors for good."

That's when Ninetyfivex pulls out a printed still from a security camera. Four children can be seen talking and playing mindgames with each other.

"This was a room outside the meeting that caused Xi Foureleven and I to stop talking," he explains. "The next great 95Xer is in this picture. We just have to wait for her to grow up."

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:04 pm

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 6.5
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 8.5
Episode 9

“Check again” said Betsy, shrugging.
Rory checked again, and then continued pacing the floor. Rory’s apartment consisted of just four rooms. A decent sized bedroom, which Betsy hadn’t seen, a tiny bathroom which Betsy wished were cleaner, a small hallway and a large living room with a bar and kitchen area in one corner. Rory paced the kitchen area. Betsy watched on.
“Nothing” said Rory. “Nothing in the inbox. Jeremy hasn’t replied to any of the emails or texts and he hasn’t picked up the phone. We can’t go and speak to him and keep our jobs. Nothing.”
Betsy sighed and sank back into the armchair. The armchair in Rory’s front room was brown (but the sort of brown that suggested it may have been a light cream colour when it was first manufactured) and old and far, far too soft. It smelled of cigarettes even years after Rory had professed to have quit. For whatever reason, she had taken a liking to it and wasn’t about to get up, even if it was her turn to make the tea.
“Rubio isn’t getting in touch either?”
“No” said Rory. “Rami had nothing of value to tell us and hasn’t come forward with the information he promised me. All he gave us was Rubio Sanchez, who stayed in a hotel under a fake name last week, apparently, considering we can find bugger all evidence that he was even in Cathair, and Jeremy Jaffacake and neither of them are cooperating.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s not that they’re guilty of anything” said Rory, “Or, at least, that’s not the sort of conclusion that anyone should jump to if they were wanting to be a detective”
“Who said I wanted to become a detective?” Said Betsy, folding her arms. Rory ignored the protest.
“It more likely means there’s a piece of the puzzle that we are missing. There’s a reason why Rubio Sanchez and Jeremy Jaffacake would be loudly quiet, and why Rami Niblick would sit on whatever information he has. That piece of information may or may not implicate them. I don’t care. I just want to know what it is”
“So we chase them up?” Said Betsy, trying to lean forward in her chair and failing. “Come down hard. Imagine some charges and maybe bring them in?”
Rory stopped and sighed heavily and passive-aggressively.
“No”
“Why n..”
“Bring the most famous fucking man in Audioslavia into a dingy room in the Cathair Guard offices because of a dead guy from 100 years ago? Make up some shit to scare a journalist we’ve never met? No, Betsy, that’s not how things are done.”
Betsy sank back in her chair. The air thickened between them. Betsy spoke first.
“Don’t talk to me like that again” said Betsy, finally, and quietly. Rory exhaled again.
“Fine. Sorry.”
“The answer is yes”
“What is yes?”
“Yes I do want to become a detective” said Betsy. “Which means this is me learning. I can’t learn if you’re bollocking me.” Betsy took her phone out.
“Right” said Rory. “Honestly, Betsy, you can learn from being bollocked” said Rory. “If you want to get this job you need thick skin”
“I am not being thin skinned” said Betsy, quietly again.
“You’re being thin-skinned now” were the words that almost came out of Rory’s mouth. Instead, he simply put a palm to his forehead. “It’s late. We’re snapping at each other now. Let’s get some sleep. You want me to order you a taxi?” asked Rory.
“I’ve just texted my taxi company” said Betsy. “They’ll be in here in five”
“Good good. We’ll reconvene after work… tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow evening would be great” said Betsy, reluctantly getting out of her chair. A silence permeated the room once more, broken eventually by Betsy.
“You know, in business meetings, when a company is looking for new ideas, or a solution to a problem they have, they don’t just rely on their experts. They invite in randoms, too. The secretary, the cleaner, etcetera. I’m not, for one second, saying that I’m as low as them, but I’m a regular-ass copper in a blue wooly suit. I don’t have an ounce of training for this side of the job..”
“What do you mean they invite the cleaner to a problem-solving session?” Asked Rory, frowning.
“For ideas, dummy” said Betsy. “Someone without training, without an idea of where the limitations are or aren’t, can think outside of the box better than someone who’s been doing it for years. An idea that might never occur to you might be the first thing out of my mouth. I don’t think it’s a good idea to just shout me down like that”
“Hmm” said Rory, walking over to Betsy. He looked her up and down. “So, your plan was to force the most famous Audioslavian in history to leave his home in a foreign country to come to a police station in country to answer questions about a murder that happened a century ago”
“Yes. Tell me why that’s stupid”
“It’s illegal”
“What’s illegal?”
“There are laws” said Rory, shrugging. “Cops in Audioslavia can’t go into Kjeligsted to pick someone up. Kjeligsted have their own police force and none of them could force Jeremy to answer any questions let alone come over to Cathair”
“Okay, so we can’t go over, but my question is why can’t we scare him”
“Because he’s Jeremy Jaffacake” said Rory, with a veneer of calm, though underneath it was clear that this was one conversation too far in a day that had already taken up too many hours. “He’d see through any shit we tried in a heartbeat. Plus, what do we scare him with? The guy knows the law. We’re not allowed to freeze his bank account, say, without proof of a misdemeanour, and as long as him, Rubio and Rami are silent there will be no proof.”
Betsy simply waited. Rory felt compelled to continue.
“And even if there was proof, it wouldn’t matter. The statute of limitations for that shit runs out after fifty years. You can’t try a pensioner for the crimes of a younger man, so the law says. Dumb law, but it’s the law we have” said Rory. Rory’s eyes narrowed. There was something wrong with what he’d said.
“Erm, no” said Betsy. “Not in Jeremy’s case. Or for anyone with CCI. If you’re immortal the statute of limitations is much longer.”
“It is” said Rory, staring at the ground, the realisation flooding back to him. “How much longer?”
“A hundred years and one day” said Betsy. “You kill someone a century ago and you’re immortal, you go to jail. 50 year sentence automatically. Twice as long as a regular sentence because, y’know, you’re not exactly losing the prime years of your life. Those might be a millennium into the future or in the recent past. You kill someone a little more than a century ago you’re fine.”
“I don’t think I knew that” said Rory, forcing a smile. “When did that come in?”
“Oh, I don’t know. It’s always been around”
“Has it?” Asked Rory. “By ‘always’ what do you mean? And how do you know all this?” “Testing” said Betsy. “Big on tests for future coppers, so they are. Some things you just remember. Like that law”
“It hasn’t been around since forever” said Rory, staring at the floor again. “When did it come in?”
Betsy’s phone rang. She looked at it and pressed ‘cancel’.
“That’s my taxi” said Betsy. “I knackered myself out just getting out of that chair” said Betsy. “I’m away now. If you figure something out give me a call.”
“We’ll reconvene tomorrow” said Rory. “Get some rest”

Betsy’s taxi barely made it to the end of the road before her phone buzzed again. This time, it was Rory.
“I think I have something” said Rory. “It’s scary and weird, but I think I have something”
“Great!” Said Betsy, “What kind of..”
“Nothing good” said Rory. “But it might be a lead. And I’ll need you to do me a favour tomorrow, too. Find out, as close as you can, exactly what date Joseph Ojosangel died. The day, if possible. Now that we have the name and the job this should be a lot easier. Do you think your ready for…” 
“On it” said Betsy. “I’ll sort something out tomorrow morning”
"You were right" said Rory, "I mean, it *was* a stupid idea but it's given us a lead."
"A lead?" asked Betsy
"A motive" said Rory.
The phone went dead.

by **The Macabees** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:05 pm

LOLITA, CH. 17

They caught Lakén, finally, the third day of their visit to Paquat. Following him as he left the training facilities, Bernie and Lolita trailed him all the way to his penthouse located toward the back of the suburb. Its building was built into the concrete wall that covered the packed earth of the mantle behind it and it rose almost to the ceiling.

Bernie wasn't sure how it gone done, especially so fast, but the lobby staff was replaced almost overnight. Where the old workers went, nobody knew. They could as well have been dead. But the new employees were found suspiciously quickly. Lolita's mobster father had found some way to get it done. The reach of the van Graat family spread far.

The front doors buzzed open as soon as they walked up. "Good morning, Mr. Va'anderbor and Ms. van Graat. Please do enjoy your stay. You will find who you are looking for on the top floor," said a suited man standing behind a long counter.

"Wow, thanks," Bernie replied, frowning. "Wait. How do you know who I'm looking for?"

He smiled and turned to Lolita. "Say thank you to your father for me, Ms. van Graat. He has helped my family and I immensely." Turning back to Bernie, the man added, "And I would do anything for them, especially if my guest is one of Lakén Yori's closest friends. Mr. van Graat informed me of your plan to surprise him. He said that Mr. Yori would be excited to see you."

"I sure hope so," said Bernie.

"Well, anyway, the elevator is over there." The man behind the counter pointed toward a hall.

The two of them walked in the direction of his finger, the silver doors of six elevator entrances closed shut in rows along the parallel walls. There were no buttons, only a man clad in a long-tail coat jacket and dress pants. He wore a hat with a feather in it. He looked at the two of them as if expecting them to say something, but neither Lolita nor Bernie knew what to say. "You must be new. I do not recognize you," said the man, finally. His accent was thick. "Which is your room here? The elevators all go to different heights, you see. Two even go down, deeper into the earth than where even we stand now."

"Hm, interesting," said Bernie. "Well, I don't actually live here. I'm here to see Lakén Yori. I'm...surprising him?"

"Oh yes! I apologize, Mr. Va'anderbor!" the man said. Turning to Lolita, he added, "And you must be the beautiful Ms. van Graat. You are truly a lucky man Mr. Va'anderbor to have a woman so fine as this one. Count yourself among the blessed. My wife, well, next to Ms. van Graat my wife might as well be a man."

Bernie's returning gaze was flat. "Well, that's not creepy."

"Anyway, allow me to call the lift that will take you to the top," said the man. He revealed a data pad and pressed some buttons on the screen, putting the pad back in his pocket when he was done. "Should be here any minute."

The lift came quickly and the silver doors opened, revealing a spacious elevator room with stunning carpets and beautiful tapestries. The ceiling was made of crystal and there were four lights on each corner that emitted the perfect amount of light. Inside there was another attendant, this one dressed much like the last but without the hat. From outside, the other one said, "Take them to the Emperor's Penthouse." The doors closed shut.

"Must just be a name they use to make it seem all nice, when it's probably a dump compared to what you can find in Fedala. I mean, that's the imperial capital. This is Paquat of all cities." Bernie rambled on, but when the doors finally opened again they revealed a lavishly spacious living room that opened up into a kitchen on one far end with a bedroom beside it, and a hall on the other that must have led to other rooms. On the opposite side the room the wall was made of glass and, through it, one could see all the brilliant, bright lights of the city including those of Paquat IFK's great stadium.

From the hall emerged Lakén, the towel around his waiste falling to the ground when he stopped in his tracks, startled. His eyes went wide. "What the hell are you doing here?... Errr, I mean, whaaaaat's up buddy?" he said nervously, babbling on. "I'm surprised to see you here, is all. Uh, how did you find me?"

"C'mon," answered Bernie. "Wasn't exactly hard to trace your card use."

"Damn it!" shouted Lakén. "I knew I saw that somewhere. I wasn't going to do it, but shit, it's just so damn convenient." He turned to Lolita, whose eyes were pointing downward. Bernie followed them, landing on Lakén's male member. It was not very impressive, in all honesty.

Lolita confirmed. "Wow, I expected more."

Lakén looked down, at what they were looking at. "Oh, shut up."

"Get dressed." The command boomed from behind them. They turned to look at the open elevator doors. Laurens van Graat was standing there, under the frame, with his brother Guus beside him. Four thugs followed them in. It was Laurens who had spoken. "C'mon, man. Put on the damned towel. Oelewapper."

"Woah, man," said Lakén, to Bernie. "You brought the goons with you?"

Bernie had no idea what was happening. But he managed to recompose himself despite it all and said, "Lakén, if you remember, this is my girlfriend Lolita. See, I said it this time. And this is her father, Laurens van Graat. The man next to him is his brother, and her uncle, Guus. Guus van Graat."

Lakén's gazed shifted to Laurens. It was wary.

But it was Laurens who spoke first. "It was so difficult to get you in my office, Mr. Yori. I tried and I tried. I even held your friend for ransom. Not even he brought you to me. So now I come to you. Go, get dressed Mr. Yori. You should be comfortable, we have a lot to talk about." When Lakén didn't move at first, he added, "Go."

Lakén finally did as he was told, disappearing into one of the rooms. An armed man with arms as big as tree trunks followed him in. He wielded a short automatic weapon of some sort. Bernie was not good with guns.

Another one shut the elevator doors, then locked the room to disallow further guests.

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:32 pm

Machine of Death: ???

It was around the middle of 8PM, several hours after the mall was closed early, where stores owned by the government were closed with shutters blocking the entrances. The fountain in the central plaza was turned off and the food court had been cleaned early. Several soldiers were guarding the entrance from each possible nook and cranny they could find to make sure that the Leader and Tim Peridot didn't get interrupted. The Leader had an idea to make sure that his promise with Jones was secured. He brought two things with him as part of his plan. A simple stun gun, if Tim was planning on killing him, and a spray can of amnesiac to have his memory briefly wiped of the last hour. It was necessary for a promise.

The Leader walked around the bottom floor of the mall, where he saw the kiosk where the Machine of Death is. A simple photo booth looking kiosk where Tim Peridot was leaning against it, arms crossed. "Ah. You have arrived. So we are doing this deal." Tim said, where the Leader showed an annoyed frown. "You think I'm a coward? Let just get this over with. You're going first." The Leader demanded, where Tim pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside. "You know what I have been thinking. I wanted this machine to be for positive intentions. I want to show that when you die, you can do the goals that you fear you die doing. That's all I wanted." Tim said, while having his finger in the slot, so it get his prediction. The card that comes out is OLD AGE. As he once said. "Leader. It's time." Tim said.

The Leader entered the booth, where he saw the machine in front of him. It looked too ominous. Like a Pandora's box that is already been opened. What was he doing? He was already prepared, so there was no going back. The Leader felt the prick of his finger, as it was in the slot. For a moment, the machine was calculating his blood, where it dispensed a card. The Leader picked up the card to observe the fate he has been given. The card was....

Blank.

Wait what? Blank? That can't be right. "Tim! I think the machine is broken. It gave me a blank card."
"A what? That can't be? It automatically inserts an ink cartridge, when the old one runs out. Let me see." Tim barged into the booth, where he got his prediction again. Was it going to be blank. No, it was the same card. OLD AGE. "Wait..." The Leader immediately put his finger into the machine again, where after another while, the machine dropped another card. This time, it was blank. But what could this mean? Every card showed how a person is going to die. But why did the Leader get a simple blank card? He was going to die by nothing? "Wait, nothing... I.. YOU BASTARD!" The Leader yelled angrily, as he immediately realized what the card was saying.

Tim seemed to be confused at first, until the Leader emerged from the booth, looking ready to slaughter Tim. "Leader, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong?! Your machine literally gave me something worst than just death!"
"Isn't that a good thing? You get to live as long as you please. There is nothing wrong with what happens!" Tim tried to say a counter-explanation, but the Leader was already marching towards him.
"You don't get it! Do you!?"

"I can't DIE! If the machine showed me how I was supposed to die, it would have let me give a choice! Not something this vague! Do you realize the consequences of me being immortal?! I just be forced to watch everyone simply die! I will be forced to be without one of the most important things that a human being is supposed to face!"
"Oh my god...Leader, sir! Please! I... I... Give me another chance! I can invent all sorts of stuff to make sure that you die! Trust me! Please?" Tim looked like he was immediately regretting what he had just done.

"Listen, you heretic piece of shit.." The Leader's tone grew threatening, where he showed Tim Peridot his stun gun. "I'm going to make sure that your dream of yours is going to fail. And that means erasing everything related to that machine. We will test all sort of things onto you to see how a man like you is going to die early than usual..And we will make it painful as possible." The Leader said, where Peridot started to scream, as the Leader thrust his stun gun at his arm.

They did figure out how to kill Tim Peridot. They brought him to die by several elderly people who hadn't been retired from the military. Lined up against a wall to die by a firing squad of old people. Tim realized that dying of OLD AGE doesn't mean natural causes, but rather of dying of someone who is of old age. "At least, that gets rid of a hypothesis." Tim thought, as bullets were fired at his direction.

by **Vilita** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:19 pm

Dropped points provide Kick in the Pants for J-Cats

Marine World Park, Crosaibi, Vilita :: After scoring three goals or more in their opening eight matches of their World Cup 81 Qualifying campaign and winning seven of those eight matches by three or more goal, the Vilita National Team's recent streak over the second half of qualification of scoring three or fewer goals in every match and failing to outscore their opponent by more than single goal was becoming a troubling trend as the end of the qualification campaign grew near and doubts began to linger as to whether or not this Vilita National Team squad had the right make up to compete against the best teams in the multiverse at the World Cup 81 finals in Banija and the Free Republics.

Things got even worse when the Jungle Cats dropped their first points of the campaign being held to a 1-1 draw in Rannoria. Things were trending distinctly downward and getting worse by the match for Vilita who now had to look in their rear view mirror as Mercedini sat just one point behind in second place meaning that even automatic qualification to the World Cup 81 finals was all but assured.

Thankfully, however, the Jungle Cats 1-1 draw with Rannoria, as disappointing as it might have been, seemed to spark some life back into the side. No longer with the burden of completing a perfect qualification campaign hanging over their every touch, the Vilita National Team players were more fluid on the ball as they returned home to Marine World Park in Crosaibi, home of Marine Coast United, for their match against overachieving unranked side Oberour Ar Moro.

The only previous meeting between the two sides which occurred earlier in the qualification campaign on Matchday six, was actually the Jungle Cats most tightly contested affair of the entire first half of qualification. While Vilita ultimately prevailed in a 3-2 victory, Oberour Ar Moro was the only team that could stay within a goal of the Jungle Cats at the full time whistle as well as the first team to net more than a single goal against an otherwise uncharacteristically solid Vilitan defense. For the fans at Marine World Park for the second ever meeting between the two sides, they would certainly get their moneys worth on the price of admission as the match would end up being the Vilita National Teams second highest scoring affair of he season.

This time it was Vilita's opponent who struck first with Oberour Ar Moro's Geoffroy Dlajoenie deyt Fijac putting home an effort that was originally shot by Kerrian Odierne and blocked by Inbekira Ajhabekk only for the ball to deflect directly into the path of Dlajoenie deyt Fijac who was able to slot into the open side of Mako Canopii's net.

As the fans groaned fearing they were witnessing yet another level of deeper falling ineptitude by the Vilitan National Team, the players rallied and refused to be discouraged by the slow start. The Jungle Cats marched on the offensive and minutes later the score was level thanks to home-club striker Enzoril Alabonni getting their first career internationstal start at the stadium home of their domestic club team Marine Coast United. It was Alabonni's first goal of the World Cup 81 Qualification campaign in just their second appearance having come in off the bench against Mercedini on Matchday 9, and just their second career goal overall for the Vilitan National Team. From the new to the old as the vintage Kiliko Riazen would follow up just two minutes later with what could ultimately prove to be their final career goal, the former Alikki-Corra trainee and Mliona-Lpaka AFC stronghold had been contemplating retirement in the offseason but decided to stick around for at least one more World Cup campaign and making it all worth it also netting their first goal in three appearances thus far in the World Cup 81 qualifiers.

The Jungle Cats looked set to take a 2-1 lead into the half time interval when they were awarded a free kick in a good position just minutes before the break. Westii Yahaya stood over the ball and expertly placed the kick around the wall and well beyond a stone-footed Laurens Desainctvictori in the Oberour Ar Moro net to make the score now 3-1 and really set the Jungle Cats on a course for victory.

If the match had ended right there, things would have been perfect for the Vilita National Team. As it stood, they had reached the three goals scored plateau, led their opponent by two or more goals and, if the match were to have ended then, would have for the first time during the entire World Cup Qualification campaign actually improved their result against a nation during the second meeting between the two teams. In all other matches thus far where Vilita were playing a team for the second time in the campaign they had either scored fewer goals than they had in the first match, conceded more than they had the first time around, or both.

The outlook changed for a brief time in the second half, however, when Ruran l’Ermite pulled a goal back for the visitors and thereby made the scoreline identical to the scoreline that the first meeting between the two sides ended; 3-2. In the end, however, the Jungle Cats just held too much possession and had too many scoring opportunities to be held back any further. The Vilita National Teams top goalscorer of the campaign, Berali Tzufarei, netted their 7th and 8th goal of the World Cup 81 Qualifiers to stretch the Jungle Cats lead to 5-2 before super star midfielder Cavuna Aquafek converted a stunner from long range that probably had the Oberour Ar Moro coaching staff wondering if it was time to give Desainctvictori a reprieve between the sticks and send in some fresh gloves to give things another shot.

Instead, however, the visitors put fresh legs up top looking not to limit the damage to to create some damage of their own and the move would pay off as the substitute Nycollas Mauranghas used hard work and determination to fight through the Vilitan defense and poke the ball past Mako Canopii for what was an exciting consolation goal for Oberour Ar Moro but a mood killing strike against the Jungle Cats who had been riding a wave of momentum at 6-2 that didn't quite seem as momentous when the full time whistle blew and the scoreline had become 6-3.

Vilita [6] - [3] Oberour Ar Moro

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 20' Enzoril Alabonni
:: 22' Kiliko Riazen
:: 43' Westii Yahaya
:: 67' Berali Tzufarei
:: 75' Berali Tzufarei
:: 77' Cavuna Aquafek

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 60%
:: Shots on Target: 14
:: Corner Kicks: 9

:: Oberour Ar Moro Statistics ::
:: Possession: 40%
:: Shots on Target: 6
:: Corner Kicks: 7

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Oberour Ar Moro ::
[GK] Mako Canopii, [D.] Linkat Cjinder, [D.] Mileke Drokasorna, [D.] Inbekira Ajhabekk, [ML] Cywrenta Vlintejni, [MC] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC] Westii Yahaya, [MR] Cavuna Aquafek, [FC] Enzoril Alabonni, [FC] Berali Tzufarei, [FC] Kiliko Riazen
BENCH::
[FC] Kaivel Illatara, [FC] Nuola Brenzil, [M] Polaox Torerun, [M] Jurzen Devmiko, [U ] Monner Vileai, [D] Jirijii Januaa, [GK] Nikki Tzimas

Group 13                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vilita                           15   14   1   0    51   13  +38    43
 2 Mercedini                        15   13   0   2    54   18  +36    39
 3 Tobiasia                         15   10   1   4    40   26  +14    31
 4 Anthor                           15    6   3   6    32   31   +1    21
 5 Kernovi and Rewgwlas             15    6   2   7    28   35   −7    20
 6 Rannoria                         15    4   5   6    23   30   −7    17
 7 Oberour Ar Moro                  15    4   5   6    30   38   −8    17
 8 Vithuland                        15    4   2   9    19   27   −8    14
 9 Swibia                           15    2   1  12    13   47  −34     7
10 Kilaguni                         15    2   0  13    15   40  −25     6

Either way, the Jungle Cats had taken care of business and would collect three points on the night. More importantly, however, was the result in Kilaguni as Vilita's only remaining challenger for the top spot in group 13 and Automatic Qualification to the World Cup 81 finals, Mercedini, had lost a tight 1-0 match to the groups bottom side who recorded just their second victory of the qualification campaign over the reigning Independent Association Cup and Cup of Harmony champions in what would have to be described as one of the biggest upset results of the World Cup 81 Qualifiers thus far. The implications of the result on the Group 13 table were huge as it meant that Tobiasia were still mathematically alive in the race for second place after their own 1-0 victory over Anthor and more pertinently to the Vilita National Team, meant that if the Jungle Cats could claim three points in their next two matches away at Vithuland and then back home against Swibia then they could clinch the top spot in the group and the automatic qualification berth to the World Cup 81 finals in Banija and the Free Republics before even making the trip to Mercedini for the final match of the campaign. The opportunity was there and with their 6-3 victory over Oberour Ar Moro, the Vilitans had certainly set themselves up in a good position to take advantage.

The six goals scored at Marine World Park by the Jungle Cats were their second most of the campaign and was the first time in seven matches played that they were able to exceed the three goals mark - the very same mark they had met or exceeded in each of their opening eight matches of the campaign. It had also been just as long - seven matches - since the Jungle Cats had won a game by three or more goals. In fact, the only real concern that the Jungle Cats could take away from an otherwise strong performance in Crosaibi was their defense which gave up three goals for the first time since World Cup 80. It was the fourth straight start in goal for Mako Canopii who is clearly the odds on favorite to be the Jungle Cats starting netminder for the World Cup 81 finals, should the Jungle Cats take care of business over the final match days and secure their ticket to Banija and the Free Republics. Prior to Canopii's current four match starting streak, no goalkeeper had started two consecutive matches for the Jungle Cats throughout the entire World Cup 81 Qualification campaign. In fact, no goalkeeper other than Mako Canopii has donned the gloves to start two consecutive games for the Vilita National Team since Ciliamara Issah started Matchday six and seven of the World Cup 80 Qualifiers; and no Goalkeeper, including Mako Canopii, had started four consecutive games for the Vilita National Team since Zelkki Milake notched off five consecutive starts during the World Cup 75 Qualification campaign.
With the draw, the Jungle Cats would find themselves just a single point clear of Mercedini at the top of the Group 13 table. It didn't really change much as far as the automatic qualification places were concerned as either way, it would still come down to the Matchday 18 fixture in Mercedini where the all-but-assured top 2 sides in Group 13 would meet head to head with the winner moving on to the World Cup 81 finals in Banija and the Free Republics and the other awaiting other results to determine if they would be one of three teams to qualify as a Group Runner-Up or if they would have to suffer through the uncertainty of playoff matchup against another of the world's top sides.

While the Jungle Cats still held a slight advantage - enough to ensure that a draw against Mercedini on the final matchday would be enough to send them on to Banija and the Free Republics, they had now erased all their margin for error. A second non-winning result over the remaining matches could not only place them behind Mercedini in the Group 13 table but could also put the Jungle Cats in a far less desirable position should they lose the clash with the reigning Cup of Harmony and Independent Associations Cup champions who themselves are only narrowly ahead in the table of second place finishers for considering advancement to the World Cup Finals.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Karen Stone: "Hello, Welcome to the Pre-Match Show here on CommSports 1. It's Ladies night here as we have our CommSports1 National Women's League analyst Charlotte Daniels and Sherwood Forest Ladies Manager Tricia Oliphant joining me as we are outside Keller Field where the National Team will be facing off against Darmen for the the outright lead in World Cup Qualifying Group 17 on the line. Charlotte, a lot of scenarios could come into play depending on the outcome here."

Charlotte Daniels: "Yes Karen, the result won't make a difference as to who will be advancing to at least the playoffs from this group as Baker Park & Darmen have clinched their places as the top 2 sides in the table. The real issue is who will advance automatically and who might have to contest a playoff matchup. Of course Darmen were the group winners in the last World Cup where both sides were in the same group. And this time the top 3 second placed sides will join the group winners as automatic qualifiers."

Tricia Oliphant: "And either one of these two could make it into that top 3 if the results fall their way. Of course a BP win will see them win the group regardless of what happens on the final match day. A draw would leave us with the tiebreak advantage if the sides get the same result in the final match and a loss would leave us needing a win and a Darmen loss while not losing the 3 goal difference advantage we currently have."

KS: And with that, lets go over to the stadium and bring in Jeff Logan and Brad Englehart who will have the call of the match. Gentlemen?"

Jeff Logan: "Thank you Karen and Brad, the crowd here have been abuzz for the last 30 minutes or so, the Darmen supporters across the way have been quite loud and the BP fans in the North Stand have matched the intensity. So, with all that's at stake here Brad, how do you see the match starting out, for say the first 20-25 minutes?"

Brad Englehart: "Trevor Richmond has named what he thinks is his strongest eleven for the starting lineup and so I would be surprised if they didn't come out aggressively and force the match onto Darmen. They've not been as strong at the back as they were in the last World Cup cycle, but they still have the confidence that they have gone 29 of 30 matches unbeaten going back to the last qualifying campaign."

JL: "Is this going to be night their talisman Felix Lucanus shines on the big stage?"

BE: "I wouldn't bet against it. He has played three outstanding matches against the Commonwealth and with it all to play for, I think he might be they key for Darmen if they are going to come away with a win.

JL: "Thanks Brad, that's all for now, back to you Karen."

KS: "Tricia, Faith Enzikomibo has been solid and she is the best individual marker on the team. Can she hold Lucanus in check?"

TO: "I think she brings an element to the defense that you can't ignore. She's so steady, she never looks panicked or uncertain of how she's going to play a situation."

CD: "If she holds Lucanus to a standstill, BP win. That being said, I still think that all of the advantages lean towards us. I think the occasion is going to bring their play up a notch."

KS: " OK, lets leave it there, and we'll come back after these messages."

by **Turori** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:10 pm

Turori Secure World Cup 81 Finals Berth

The Island Emirate of Turori became the third nation to clinch a place in the World Cup 81 Finals in Banija and the Free Republics after an uncharacteristic 5-3 victory over their closest challenger New Lusitania spreading the gap between the two sides at the Top of World Cup 81 Qualifying Group #1 to nine points, insurmountable over the two remaining match days of competition.

While Turori have punched their ticket there is still plenty left to play for in Group 1 as New Lusitania looks to hold off a charging Beepee for the second position and a spot in the qualification playoffs. Valladares, favored on paper to take the second position, are all but eliminated at six points back and 10 goals differential behind New Lusitania in second.

Group 1                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Turori                           16   13   2   1    38   10  +28    41
 2 New Lusitania                    16   10   2   4    37   15  +22    32
 3 Beepee                           16    9   3   4    25   17   +8    30
 4 Valladares                       16    7   5   4    35   23  +12    26
 5 Jeckland                         16    8   2   6    31   26   +5    26
 6 Michine                          16    7   4   5    15   17   −2    25
 7 Petrovskia                       16    5   4   7    19   28   −9    19
 8 Ndaku                            16    4   3   9    34   42   −8    15
 9 Central Shaneville               16    3   1  12    13   35  −22    10
10 Gudalajara                       16    0   2  14     8   42  −34     2

For the Turori National Team, the three goals given up to New Lusitania on Matchday 16 accounted for one-third of the goals that Turori had conceded during the fifteen games contested prior to the 5-3 result and put Turori into the double-digits in goals conceded dropping them out of the Top 5 of the best defensive record in the qualification where they had previously been level with Qusmo.

South Covello, a nation with many corporate ties to the Island Emirate of Turori, currently leads the charts defensively having conceded just 3 goals over the campaign thus far, half as many as their nearest competition; Ko-oren, Brenecia and Audioslavia with six goals conceded.

In Groups 7 and 8, Eura and Ethane were the first nations to book their place in the World Cup 81 Finals having done so before the Matchday 16 fixtures had even kicked off. It was perhaps lucky particularly for Ethane that the job was already done as the Flammable Gas suffered its first defeat of the campaign, a 2-3 reversal against Devonta who pulled within 1 point of Damukuni in the race for the second position and a potential playoff spot. Ethane had been the last time left in the qualification with a perfect 15-0-0 record heading into Matchday 16. Their defeat to Devonta ensures that no nation will survive the grueling eighteen match qualification campaign without a single blemish. Just three nations remain that continue with an unbeaten record. Of them, only Chromatika has already punched their ticket to Banija and the Free Republics despite a 1-1 draw with South Toronto on Matchday 16.

Other than Turori, a number of nations booked their place at the World Cup 81 Finals on or prior to Matchday 16. In Group 2, former AOCAF and Eagle's Cup Champions Cosumar blasted six goals past The Macabees to punch their ticket with Juvencus no longer able to challenge them for the top spot in the group. Cosumar also leapfrogged Turori defensively conceding just once on the day for a total of 9 goals conceded throughout the qualifications thus far.

Mriin also will be headed to Banija and the Free Republics riding a wave of momentum off of their runner-up finish in the most recent AOCAF competition in the Equestrian States where Vilita & Turori claimed their first regional title in 15 cycles. The final nation to half already secured a place in the World Cup 81 finals is Pasarga who kept pace with the best of crop collecting their fifteenth victory in sixteen matches with a 2-0 win over Illahee.

With two matches left the Citizen Squad has already done their part and the Cocoabo will take things home for the Turori National Team looking to save face after suffering two early blemishes on their record with draws against Petrovskia and New Lusitania. Until then, Mumau Atla-Siioai and the Football Association of Turori (FAT) will be tasked with making the hard decisions and rosters choices regarding who will be invited to the squad for the World Cup 81 Finals in Banija and the Free Republics.

by **Equestrian States** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:10 pm

Opinion: Show No Mercy, Pearly White
by Steve McNotapony

PONYVILLE - The Equestrian States wasted a massive opportunity last night.

Lochario's upset of second place Saltstead offered the Equestrians a chance to take a commanding four point lead atop Qualifying Group 10, provided they beat East Belzaria. The Ponies failed to do so, losing the unranked East Belzarians at home, an inexcusable defeat by any measure that has suddenly thrown the Equestrians' once-near-certain qualifying odds into serious jeopardy. Garifunya, meanwhile, took care of business against Northwest Kalactin and have now joined the Saltsteaders in nipping at the Ponies' heels.

Equestrian manager Pearly White set several goals for her team before the campaign: to win the group and secure a spot in the finals, to do well enough in qualifying to get the Ponies into the second pot for the finals draw, and to give playing time to the second string players against the lower-ranked teams. After the first half of qualifying, it seemed certain that the Ponies would comfortably accomplish all three. They dropped just one point in their first ten matches and had outscored their opponents 26-4, in part due to the contributions of fringe players. Everything was going according to plan.

Six games later and the Ponies are on the brink. Two narrow wins, two disappointing scoreless draws, and two devastating losses have thrown the campaign into chaos. In those six matches, the Equestrians have scored just three goals. What the hell happened?

Sure, part of the blame can go towards that mess of a game in South Batoko. With the WCC running the show, weird shit like that is going to happen every cycle, but that doesn't excuse the total disappearance of the Ponies' offense. The defensive corps and goalkeepers, Gentle Breeze in particular, have kept the second half of qualifying from going even worse. Pristina Shine finally got her 100th career international goal. Great. Congratulations and all that, but is it really too much to ask the Ponies' second all-time leading scorer to find the back of the net at least one or two more times? Granted, things would be even worse for the Ponies had Pristina Shine not scored that goal against Sorrentopia as they'd have drawn that match and would now be in third place with a one point deficit needing help to even make the qualifying playoffs.

After their quarterfinals appearance on home soil, the Equestrian States were finally being hailed as one of the multiverse's up-and-coming hoofball powers. Now the Ponies are staring at the possibility of missing out on the World Cup completely just one cycle after making their deepest run ever at the tournament, again. After reaching the second round for the first time ever at World Cup 67, the Ponies failed to qualify for World Cup 68. One year later, the Hoofball Association dumped manager Twilight Striker, hiring Pearly White in her place. Pearly White knows the cost of failure and the HA won't hesitate to pull the trigger on a manager because of what they accomplished in the past.

At this point, you can forget about getting the Ponies into pot two for the finals draw, it ain't happening. Just get the Equestrian States into the World Cup first. Pearly White, you need to get this team's shit together now. There's two games left, against Lochario and Sharktail, and the Ponies still somehow control their own destiny. Show no mercy, Pearly White. The first team must take the pitch against both of them and go for the jugular. Crush them. Leave nothing to chance, because we all know that the Ponies' luck isn't something you should ever count on.

by **Saltstead** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:19 pm

The Walland Daily Press
Northern Saltstead’s premier news source
VOL. 123 NO. 101
11 SHILLINGS & 0
Proudly printed in Cherrygrove
Ware on the metaphorical grill as the Stallions blow a massive chance to claim top spot
Equestrians hold on to their Group 10 lead despite home defeat to East Belzaria, while Garifunya creep up from the rear with a five-goal thriller

Zun, Lochario — To be at the mercy of other results with just three matches to go is not a position any team aspiring to the Big Dance should want to be in. Blowing the fortunate chance that opens up when other results are just right is outright embarrassing. Gay Ware’s Stallions got the lucky break they needed to nick top spot off the indomitable Equestrians, but proved clinically impotent in the bowels of the multiverse, namely Lochario.

Third-place Garifunya—the team most likely to overtake Saltstead—hosted Northwest Kalactin in what proved to be a thrilling 3–2 for the home team, putting pressure back on the Cyaneans to hold down the second-place spot. Or so it seemed until the Equestrians shat the bed against visiting East Belzaria. Victory in Lochario would not only hold Garifunya at bay, but see the Equestrian States slip into a gut-wrenching second. Being ranked nearly a hundred places higher should certainly have sealed the win, even with the Ponies’ defeat at the hands of an unranked side.

The first half was a dodgy enough affair, with Locharians shutting down early opportunities from Michael d’ Angel, Johanna Mårits and Martin Moss. Lochario nearly took the lead on a 34th minute strike by Delmat Sojatan, but the forward was denied by Cherrygrove keeper Valeriė Rotscheud. Rotscheud would be beaten early in the second half, however, by Waldo Rott, setting off a chain of shithousery that made neither side look particularly good. Lochario counted their prayers after the referee somehow missed Otto Stephenssen being clearly brought down in the box, while Saltstead nearly dug their hole deeper when Natalia Henriksson conceded a penalty that Rotscheud was lucky to stop.

With the whistle gone, the bigger shitshow began. Saltsteaders slumped off the pitch in embarrassment at the missed opportunity, while manager Gay Ware may as well have been wearing a burqa for how little she seemed to want to show her face at the ensuing press conference. Popular expectations to guide Saltstead to the World Cup finals now seem misplaced in the midst of a campaign that has seemed chaotic at best and Ware’s tone as press took her to task for the collapse of the team in the second half reminded many of a child who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“It feels almost like we’re being robbed of a joyful experience,” Catherinesburg resident Aleksandriė Janssen stated on Twit.tur, capturing the popular sentiment of the Saltsteadish public. “It’s not to the point that we’re picketing outside the Federation headquarters, but I don’t think anyone would miss Ware at this point,” twitted Weilenze native Halle Måts. “Where’s the dignity or pride? Isn’t Ware supposed to be above this kind of thing?” asked Nyvefort denizen Lise Vinhall.

So how bad exactly did Ware manage to make Saltstead’s situation?

State of the Group
Group 10                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Equestrian States                16   11   3   2    29    7  +22    36	Automatic qualification
 2 Saltstead                        16   11   2   3    27    8  +19    35	Potential qualification
 3 Garifunya                        16   11   2   3    26   16  +10    35
 4 Northwest Kalactin               16    9   3   4    32   17  +15    30
 5 Lochario                         16    8   2   6    19   12   +7    26	Eliminated
 6 East Belzaria                    16    7   4   5    20   20    0    25	Eliminated
 7 Sharktail                        16    4   5   7    23   30   −7    17	Eliminated
 8 Sorrentopia                      16    3   3  10    15   24   −9    12	Eliminated
 9 South Batoko                     16    0   5  11     4   32  −28     5	Eliminated
10 Penguinland                      16    1   1  14    12   41  −29     4	Eliminated
Saltstead must surpass the Equestrians’ point total in the last two matches thanks to the Ponies’ thrashing six-point meetings with the Stallions. Conversely, Saltstead maintain their advantage over Garifunya thanks to a pair of convincing wins, including a rare 4–0 win in Ashwell; consequently, Garifunya need to claim more points than Saltstead to have a hope or prayer. (In case you’re curious, a three-way tie at the top would be broken in favour of the Equestrians thanks to head-to-head results, with Garifunya finishing third.)

Saltstead will travel to Northwest Kalactin for its next match before closing the group stage with a home match against Sorrentopia. The Equestrians will host Lochario before travelling to Sharktail to very likely seal their successful campaign. Garifunya travel to Sorrentopia before closing out the group stage at home against South Batoko. (What is it with this group and geographic qualifiers?)

Per the official WCC rankings, this makes Saltstead’s road particularly difficult, as they are the only side with a realistic chance of qualifying that has a top 100 team left on their fixture list. Garifunya and Saltstead both have 207th ranked Sorrentopia left to play, but Garifunya have an easier match against unranked South Batoko in comparison to 87th Northwest Kalactin. The Equestrians, meanwhile, play teams ranked 135th and 230th. Qualification always throws up surprises, like the Ponies and Stallions both capitulating on the same day to teams far outside the multiverse’s top 100, but the Equestrian road and their advantages over their two closest competitors make their ticket to Banija and the Free Republics nearly paid for.

And a less appreciated consequence is the more difficult playoff draw the loss in Lochario has thrown Saltstead into. Rather than having advantage against Apox, Saltstead are provisionally playing as an unseeded side against none other than Juvencus, a name that will certainly spook any Stallion faithful. While neither draw is particularly great, a match-up with Juvencus is certainly more precarious and would have the Stallions ruing their now-near-certain inability to secure one of the three automatic tickets available for the best runners-up.

Prepare your hindquarters. The home stretch is going to be painful. ❧

by **Banija** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:24 pm

Welp! We'll skip out on a song for today's cutoff.

What continent do you hear least about when it comes to club soccer? That's right, Africa! Instead, we'll show you a good overview of Africa's 10 biggest derbies.

by **Beepee** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:24 am

Group 1
Beepee 3–0 Central Shaneville

Scorers:
Malade (26')
Veera (33')
Bolt (58')

Beepee produced their most convincing display in the qualification process so far with a solid three-nil victory over an in form Central Shaneville. The victory keeps Beepee's slim chances of making the playoffs alive.

On a pleasant early evening in Norfolk Pinewoods, with a gentle breeze and a temperature of 24 degrees Celsius, the conditions were perfect at Pinewoods Stadium.

Coleen Yu retained her preferred starting line-up for the match and the Beepeean side played with the confidence that comes from knowledge of consistent and regular team selection.

The opening goal came after 26 minutes when Niklaus Malade rose above the Shanevillian defence to bod the ball home from a Patterson free kick.

Beepee's second came only 7 minutes later when Beepee's top scorer this qualifting campaign, Sam Veera, finished a coordinated team move to fire home from just inside the box. That goal put the game beyond doubt and the Beepeean side relaxed and conserved energy.

It wasn't until the 58th minute, when a stinging free kick saw the ball revound to a surprised Bolt, who turned shot and bundled the ball into the net.

So the match ended.

As the match ended and the other Group 1 results filtered through, Beepee retained the slimmest glimmers of hope to an upset playoff finish.

With one match to go, New Lusitania sit 2 points clear of Beepee, but their stronger head to head record means Beepee must win and the Lusitanians lose to keep the dream alive. That task is made even harder as they face an a was at trip to Vallardes world ranked 44th. Lusitania, by contrast face bottom team and unranked Guadalajara. Regardless of the results, Beepeean Football has been reinvigorated by this qualifying campaign where Beepee has overperformed and silenced it's many Beepeean detractors.

by **Mattijana** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:49 am

MFO SPORT

Match Preview: Mattijana vs Acronius

-Matchday 18, Stadijo Dinamov, Petrovijanka
-19:45 Kickoff

When the schedule for World Cup 81 qualifying was published those 17 matches ago, many dreamed of a winner-takes-all finale at the Dinamov against second seeds Acronius. Mattijana's best performance in a world cup qualifying cycle to date and an inspired comeback from their opponents mean that the dreams have become mouth-watering reality.

Of course had Mattijana turned a series of frustrating draws against lower-ranked opposition into wins, they could have had the group's solitary playoff place as good as wrapped up, but where would be the fun in that?

Indeed the most recent of those goalless draws, away to Blaneu, means that Mattijana must pick up all three points from their decider if they are to keep their chances of making it to their first World Cup finals alive.

Whilst that may seem a daunting prospect, many will have the marmots as their favourites going into the tie. The away leg on matchday 9 ended in a 3-2 win for Mattijana despite them needing a 35-yard belter from Marko Hojbjerg to get there. However with the final match taking place at the traditional final match venue of the Stadijo Dinamov, they will have passionate vocal support from the stands.

However Acronius travel to Petrovijanka in great form. Since sitting 7th with just 11 points after matchday 9, they have taken 21 points from 8 matches, dropping points only to runaway victors Eura.
Eura aside, that Acronius have been allowed back into the contest after such a dire start is perhaps indicative of a lack of top-class teams in the group, however they have built up incredible momentum over the second-half of qualifying and will be a different prospect to the team that Mattijana beat earlier in the cycle.

Form since Matchday 9:

Group 7                          Pld   W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Pts
Acronius                          8    7   0   1    19    7  +12    21
Mattijana                         8    3   4   1    17   11   +6    13

Whatever the result of this match, Mattijana will look back on this cycle as a succesful one. They have taken a record number of points and scored a record number of goals in the process, on the way to what is already guaranteed to be a record position. However if they fail to make it through to the playoffs, they will be dissapointed with throwing away a number of good opportunities to kill off the opposition. Goalless draws against Blaneu, the Sherpa Empire and The Hungarian Nation have certainly made their job a lot harder than it otherwise could have been.

Whilst on form and on paper, Acronius come into the game as favourites, there have been plenty of ebbs and flows to this set of qualifiers so far and there might just be time for another sting in the tail. For Mattijana, repeating the performance that saw them inflict Eura's only defeat of the cycle is the goal.

The permutations:

Mattijana victory: Mattijana earn playoff place.
Draw or Acronius victory with North Prarie draw or defeat: Acronius earn playoff place, Mattijana third, North Prarie fourth.
Draw or Acronius victory with North Prarie victory: Acronius earn playoff place, North Prarie third, Mattijana fourth.

What They Said:

Mattijana manager Dusan Vukoja:

"We've worked really hard to get ourselves into a position where we still have a realistic chance of qualifying and we've been training well this week in Petrovijanka to prepare for this match. It's our biggest match in our World Cup history, possibly ever, so we need to make sure we come out with good intensity and focus."

On whether his attacking players have lost confidence after drawing banks against lower-ranked teams.

"Not at all. Blaneu and the Hungarian Nation both blatantly played for draws because they knew we'd probably take them apart if they gave us the space. Of course it's disappointing not to find the net in games like that, but they're completely different matches from the one that's coming up. Acronius can play for the draw if they want to of course which is a situation we didn't particularly want, but they're in great form and they'll want to come here and win, so our attack should get plenty of opportunities to catch them out. The low-ranked teams have wised up a lot since the first set of matches, so it's no surprise we're finding it harder to score against them. We have to remember we put 4 past one of the best teams in the multiverse. If we can repeat that performance, I'm confident we can take the three points we need."

On whether his team are rueing the dropped points.

"We have to put them behind us and just focus on the next match. (Team psychologist) Samira Kazmir's been working well with the players to get them in the right frame of mind. After the match, I'm sure we'll take a look at the past few matches and see how we can improve in those kind of situations, but for now we're just concentrating on the next 90 minutes and getting the win we need. We know we have work to do defensively as well, but that can wait for after the match."

Team News:

Dusan Vukoja has a full-strength team at his disposal with Katarina Jakupovic and Andreas Weiss both recovering from respective ankle and knee injuries. Sophia Velezia is expected to start ahead of Sofiane Bisrali on the left wing with Mathilde Lekarisa preferred to Andreas Weiss up top as Vukoja reverts to the 4-1-4-1 formation employed in the majority of games this cycle.

Acronius's good form means that they look set to remain unchanged from the side that beat The Sherpa Empire 2-0.

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:02 am

Dazza Dallas Stadium, Jeruselem coach Princess Chloe and husband of Princess Cassie, Jon watching the game between 2nd placed Abanhfleft and 3rd placed Jeruselem from the team box ...

-------------
Half time ...

Jon: We're struggling, it's not looking good being behind 2-1.
Chloe: At least we're not giving up, we cannot lose this game. If they win, it's game over. They qualify.
Jon: What about a draw?
Chloe: No good for us. They are ahead on points. Which means if they win next game, they'll qualify anyway.
Jon: So we just need to win
Chloe: Yeah, we don't have room for error. We've made enough errors

Jon: Keep fighting, because it's only half time.
Chloe: I intend to take this to the last game. Because that's us!
Jon: Looking a bit pale there
Chloe: I'm on some painkillers. I don't want to take them but I can't function if your knee is just being very painful.
Jon: Oh the dodgy one
Chloe: I've twisted it a bit, and it's always in some pain.

Jon: I guess I can't take you fencing
Chloe: Standing is hard work as it is
Jon: You still have been balance than Cassie even with that knee
Chloe: Which is why she's not playing football. She's got some talent but trips herself over too much.
Jon: I'm impressed with Katya though, she's got balance.
Chloe: Yes, she's so good on her feet and doesn't have terrible knees. She's a real fighter but she needs a bit TLC sometimes. She can be fragile.

Jon: Say, know any acting roles coming up? I'm an actor after all.
Chloe: Actually you don't need the money, I mean you married into a trillion shekel family.
Jon: It's not money, I like my job. It's good spending time with the kids but I like working anyway.
Chloe: Eh, I assume not them adult movies.
Jon: Err, no not those. Acting in those is just terrible anyway.
Chloe: Can't really help you, I know a lot of porn stars though.

Jon: Say, what does Cassie do during half time?
Chloe: Oh her, she's wandering around harassing people for interviews ... naked
Jon: That's just here right?
Chloe: Oh just here, can't do that overseas.
Jon: I left the kids with your Mum, they listen to her.
Chloe: She can be very loud ... which is good ... I would know.

Jon: Plan for the 2nd half?
Chloe: It's simple, attack and try to break them. If we concede a few, so be it.
Jon: That might explode in your face
Chloe: We're being too careful and defensive. We just need goals, more than they have scored that is.
Jon: Yeah but the defense is more known to be exactly great.
Chloe: I'm going to have to make it 343 or even 244 if we really have to score. If they score a few, well I guess we're just fucked.

Jon: Yes, attack. Go on the offense!
Chloe: I have to do it. A freaking loss or draw is just useless.

-------------
Full time ...

Jon: Well that kinda worked ...
Chloe: 3-2 win, I'll take that. Now we just need to win the last game, good thing it's not one of the rivals
Jon: There's hope, we have hope.
Chloe: It's between us and Abanhfleft. Mriin qualifed when beat us pretty much.
Jon: I see Darkmania are now eliminated and dreamplanet too.
Chloe: Mriin did us a favour and Darkmania just had to win. They didn't. Even if Darkmania had one, they would have been on 32 points anyway. I guess they would be in it but they would have been eliminated if us and Abanhfleft won on the last day anyway.

Jon: So we just need to win
Chloe: Yes, nothing else. A draw is freaking not really useful since goal difference on our behalf is a bit crap. And on head to head, we'd lose too.
Jon: So we win and they lose, that's it.
Chloe: Actually if they draw, we'd still have more points.
Jon: Well, there is hope.
Chloe: We have to win ... that's the key. If they win, nothing matters.

Cassie: Oi troublemakers
Chloe: Been busy?
Cassie: Err, yes. Great win today. Can't wait for next game.
Chloe: We have a long segment on naked news today ...
Cassie: Yes, we discuss our upset. The failure of the rivals and the qualification scenarios
Chloe: You'd better do all the math, I'm not really up to it.

Jon: Don't forget the other groups, the other 18
Chloe: Oh we do that later, because ... we have to do more maths
Cassie: Maths isn't hard
Chloe: I really got no idea how she got the maths brain
Jon: Explains why young Kat is better at Maths than me
Chloe: I guess is compensates for not being able play football

Cassie: Yes, I use it make loads of money
Jon: You sure you two have the same Mum?
Cassie: Oh that, we're never sure ourselves.
Chloe: Eh, I'm sure I'm related to her.
Cassie: Jon you'd better get the kids, they are getting a bit restless.
Jon: Too much sugar again?

Cassie: Err, no that's without the sugar ... eh
Chloe: Can we swap kids? I want a daughter
Cassie: Well go make another one
Jon: I'm sure you're world class experts in that field
Chloe: I'm never at home during the world cup
Cassie: Actually neither am I

Group 11
Jeruselem 3–2 Abanhfleft
Sultanate of Oontaz 3–0 Lycrabon
Mriin 2–1 Dreamplanet
Darkmania 1–1 Crystalline Caverns
Neo-Romanum 0–0 Mareibat

by **Cassadaigua** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:45 am

The Playoff Is Now- Cassadaigua vs Tinhampton

The final matchday is upon us, and as of right now, we still do not know if we will be heading to the World Cup. In order to qualify from the second place position, unless you are one of the three best second place teams, you will need to play an aggregate playoff series against another second place team. For Cassadaigua and Tinhampton, that playoff has an extra round, and is starting early. That’s essentially went this game is, not just a group stage match, but a playoff before the playoff.

The road here has been pretty similar for the Filles, and the team known as the Miners. Each team has a draw, to each other. Each team was swept by Brenecia. Then, each team had one loss to the rest of the group while winning every other game. 40 for us. 40 for them. Will you need a 40 after the game? Well, worry about that later.

The game is being played at Concord Heights Stadium, with the opening kickoff at 7:30pm (Cassadagan time). Gates will open at 4:30pm. If you are not going to be able to make it to the game, you have many options, but here are a few that maybe you have not heard about:

1) If you are in Concord Heights, and you wish to view the match for free with a large gathering of people, go to the South Courtyard of the Royal Palace. There is only room for 5,000 people here, so you will still need to get there pretty early. Large video screens will be set up, televising the match much the way people will gather there for an address by the Queen. If you are wondering about the Queen, by the way, she will in attendance at the stadium. There will be food trucks and other vendors around, as well as activities for the kids. Plenty of adult beverages will be available too, we imagine.

2) You can also go to the stadium at either the University of Concord Heights or Concord Heights Beauty School to watch the match. Both of these stadiums will be fully staffed as if there was a game going on, on their own field. At UCH, gates open at 5:00pm. At CHBS, gates open at 6:00pm. UCH is asking for a $5 admission fee, while CHBS is asking for either a $3 admission fee or a donation to either their local food drive, or coat drive.

3) If you are not in Concord Heights, the main stadiums in Brattleboro, Rutland, Grande Mountain, Victoriaville, Starksville, and Winchester are showing the match. For other cities, we advise you to call them directly. It will not be shown at New Lakeland Stadium due to a conflict with a major concert that was already scheduled there, but you will be able to go to the stadium at the University of New Lakeland. Contact those stadiums to find out what time each stadium opens up.

If you don’t want to be part of large group, and prefer a smaller group, go on down to your favorite sports bar. If it calls itself a sports bar, it will be showing the match. However, the amount these businesses charge is up to them. If you have kids, then call your favorite restaurant and see if they are going to play the match. Or if all else fails, just watch it at home.

Hosting your own party? Pink Love Clothing is hosting a promotion that will award up to $200,000 in total prizes for the best “big game” party pictures. Submit your photos to their Spacebook page. You are not required to be wearing their clothing, but it might be a good idea. Take a chance on winning another prize, by the way, with your Five Star Mobile phone. Text your final score prediction and the minute that the game winning goal will be scored in to 810081 for your chance to win up to $500,000 in total prizes. Must be done with a Five Star Mobile device, and it must be submitted by 7:15pm. If there is not a game winning goal, it will be the time of the game tying goal. If it is 0-0, then winners are chosen at random.

Dagan Airways is also offering a promotion to send 12 people to their choice of Free Republics or Banija to watch the entire tournament that is played there, with all expenses paid for. This will happen regardless of who wins this game. Go to their website, and submit a story of your favorite Dagan Airways experience. If you don’t have one, they won’t know if you are making one up, but don’t tell them we suggested that.

Going to the game? Here is what you need to know:

8:00am- Parking lots open for all day partying and tailgaiting.

9:30am- Concert outside the Gate 5 entrance by various local artists such as All Hail Margaret, Hit That Dice Button Good, and Smashing Dreams of Minors. Refreshments will be served.

11:00am- Food trucks, alcohol vendors, and various kids activities will open in the parking lot.

12:00pm- Appearances by other Cassadagan athletes, such as members of the World Baseball Classic team.

1:00pm- Various fun and games for all ages.

3:30pm- Meghan Thompson, of the local Church, will publicly sacrifice a live chicken to Margaret, the Goddess of Scores, for good luck. May not be appropriate for younger viewers or the squeamish.

4:30pm- This is when gates open to the stadium.

5:30pm- Cup Of Disharmony will perform a concert on the south concourse by section 125.

6:00pm- Queen Cassie II will make a public statement to all while out on the field.

6:30pm- Leading cheerleading squads and dance teams will perform for your entertainment.

7:00pm- Official pre-game ceremonies begin. Cassadagan national anthem will be sung by Adrienne Salamida, the granddaughter of the great Allison Salamida, our starting goalkeeper for the World Cup 50 and 51 championship teams. The color guard of the Concord Heights Beauty School will also be on hand for this performance.

Burning Questions: Cassadaigua vs Tinhampton

Where exactly is Tinhampton? The nation, well, more like the self-administrative city, is location in the region of World of Nations. That is a region with not a lot of sporting pedigree, but that does not mean that Tinhampton cannot take the lead in that aspect. They are doing just that.

Is it a big country, ok, city? What is the population? At last check, it had a population of just over 319,000. That puts it at less then 1/5th the population of Concord Heights, let alone the entire Matriarchy of Cassadaigua.

Do they try other sports, or are they one of those soccer only places? They do not participate in any of the other main sports tournaments out there. Perhaps they do a minor sport somewhere, but as for the major sports, they are focused mainly on the soccer pitch. If they wanted to change that, they do have time to enter the World Baseball Classic, but I saw a tidbit from there when doing some research that their only baseball is little league. Hey, bring the eight year olds anyway! If Fluffy Bunnies can score so many goals, you never know!

What is a cool thing about them, other then their soccer team? They are pretty active in the World Assembly. You know, the organization that wants to run every minute detail of your country and leave absolutely no possible thing for the actual leaders of the city to decide? So glad we never touched that, by the way.

Are they a peaceful country, or city? Or are they one of those tinpot dictatorships? Well, they are a member of that World Assembly, so you know they are forced to do nearly every possible left-wing socialist thing that such organization thinks up. Do you realize that right now they are voting on Uniform Standards in the workplace? Seriously, now. What ever happened to running your country? That’s going to fail the vote, but the fact it even is being voted on is a joke and shows how member nations are not really allowed to run their country the way they want. My impression is that they try to be a peaceful place, but don’t worry, the game is here, not here.

What is gender equality like there? The team is led by a woman, who took over after a man couldn’t handle a loss, and has subsequently has led them this far. Therefore, as we can see even there, it takes a woman to finish what a man starts. Now, before the male readers bash me, I am just kidding. Sort of. In regards to gender equality, we can salute Tinhampton.

The winner of this game qualifies for the World Cup? Not exactly. The winner of this game advances to the playoff to determine who goes to the World Cup. You see, with the current format of 19 groups, only the group winners advance to the World Cup, and that is Brenecia. The three best second place teams do as well, but then the rest of the teams play in a home-away playoff match.

Can the winner of the game get one of those top three second place spots? Mathematically it is possible, but not realistically. In order for it to happen, Drawkland must lose on the road to Natanians and Nosts. That is unlikely, but not totally impossible. However, they must also have Eshan and Qasden not win. For Qasden, we’d be rooting for the Squornshelan Remnant States. I didn’t think I was going to have to spell that name during qualifying, but there it is. They have some pedigree, but you have to go back an additional generation or two to find it from when even we won our World Cups. The problem is Eshan. They are playing lowly Bongo Johnson. The winner of our game, whether it be Cassadaigua or Tinhampton is going to be close to that cutoff line for one of those spots, but not likely over it.

Speaking of winners, what if we have a draw? Cassadaigua advances to the playoff in the event of a draw. Since the teams tied earlier when they met in Tinhampton, they would be equal on all H2H-related tiebreakers. The next tiebreaker is overall goal differential, in which Cassadaigua holds the advantage.

My grandmother has a heart problem. Should she watch? No.

by **Starblaydia** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:46 am

OOC: Qusmo's tin foil hat guy gave me the inspiration for this one, though I feel I will go quite mad if I stick with this Zack Romero guy for too long.

This is also part 28 or something in my long-running arc that spans a ridiculous number of cups, but as I'm on mobile it's tough to get the 'Previously' links into this one.

"...welcome back to The Truth with your host, me, Zack Romero. Thank you for joining me this hour for your daily dose of no-spin commentary and opinion on the current events of our great nation. Fides, Gloria and Sanguis, everyone, because it's a beautiful day in Starblaydia-

"Or it would be, if those damnable and so-called Honourable Representatives up in the Sjarondai, in the corrupt and decadent cess pool that is the Civil Sector in Jhanna, weren't being so cowardly.

"When, I ask you, when, will they wake up, stand up, and step up to do the right thing for this country. You know what I'm talking about, you know what's going on - all they do is sit and talk and lie and take kickbacks and screw the rest of us over. They're taking money from lobbyists left, right and centre, they've made the big corporations their masters.

Do you know how long I had to wait for my pizza last night? Twenty whole minutes! They've cut the speed those drones can travel - good, honest, everyday working drones built by the hard done-by factory workers of Starblaydia. They've slowed the things down, their air speed, so it takes longer for my pizza to get to my door. One star! Unsubbed! I'd boycott Baba Abdi's Pizza place, for it, but it's not even their fault! They're in hock to their corporate masters, holding the whip of defunding over them so they can't excel, just another thing this Government excels at, sardonically. Sardonic, isn't it, they only excel at failure!

"Ironic. Yes, that too, ironic. Very ironic. Producer Cedric, there, putting a word in my mouth for me, like I can't think one up for myself. You ever find people doing that to you, ladies and gentlemen watching or listening to me at home, or streaming on your mobile device from wherever you get your podcasts? People who have been so indoctrinated, against their will by this new state we have, by this democracy of liars and thieves - stealing your own mind from you.

"But you know why they're doing it, don't you? It's their snooping devices, built into every drone, listening in, hacking in to your devices and your online accounts, seeing everything you do. The thing is, these things aren't able to work at such a high speed as these otherwise great Starblaydi drones are able to fly - they just can't pick up and hold on to your data because they've gone past you by the time this secret intelligence cabal is able to hack your passwords with their digital crowbars. So they've slowed them down, this technocratic military industrial complex has, and as Zuam'Deeb is my witness, I'm not going to let them do this to us! I'm goingto fight, and if you're sick and tired of this treatment from such incompetent overlords, driven in their fancy cars and taking money in their pockets to make life worse for the rest of us, you've got to fight too! Resist! Resist these DIS-honourable Representatives in the Sjarondai! Once the Sjarondai was a beacon of light, a glowing city on the hill of truth and justice as great men represented their people in front of the Lord Protector! A noble time, a better time, when Starblaydia truly was great, when we still had, rest his great soul, Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde.

"He fought tyranny by majority, he fought the liberal hell that we can be dragged into in the other direction. He was the pivot around which Atlantian Oceania, a whole region, moved, and move we did, in step with his great mind, his precious soul, and his iron will. There was one of the greatest human beings who has ever lived on this earth, or any other.

"His children now, Zuam'Deeb rest their souls of course, I wouldn't want to speak ill of the dead, but his children had lost their way. Curzon, he was too young, to naive, to coddled by that evil Krytenian bitch of a mother. FOREVER WEST STARBLAYDIA! There are TWO K's IN BEKK, YOU KRYTIE BASTARDS! NEVER FORGET!

"He, Curzon, didn't even know he was starting down that cyan path, away from the true purple path. And he was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, and we as a people so, so wanted him to be Tiberius again, but he just wasn't. He couldn't be, almost no-one could possibly live up to that. And so down this path, of corporate overlords and their tyrannical money whips, over us like a shadow ready to strike at any moment!

"Now I'm not going to talk about Lexus - our Lexi - Starblayde, she was a beautiful being, so noble and classy, and her suicide was one of the darkest moments of this nation, and we all weep and pray, continually, every day for her soul and those of her family and those she left behind. Because she really left us all behind, as a nation, she was our Princess, and we don't even have Princesses, but she was ours. And when she took her own life, jumped, and fell from that balcony that dark and stormy night, which we don't even know she did of her own volition, there's plenty of evidence to suggest she may have been push- I'm just saying, we don't have all the facts and that should be looked into, but I'm not going to talk about it today, no, I will not, I-

"I'm sorry, Im just having to hold back the tears a little here, Cedric can we go to commercial please? I just need a moment while every should hear this super-important message, because that's how we stay on the air, folks, they could shut us down at any moment, they could hike a tax on us that cuts us off mid-program, their corporate goons could bust in and TAKE. ME. DOWN. AT ANY MOMENT. ANY."

Simeone blinked at the radio as the commercial, featuring Zack Romero's voice again, advertising something that was sold and endorsed by Zack Romero, played. It wasn't a radio as such, but an internet-connected continual streaming device pre-programmed with various feeds that played only audio, so everyone still called it a radio. Actual radio waves hadn't carried programming in Starblaydia like this in at least century.

He'd known Tiberius Starblayde. And Curzon. And Lexus. And Julius. He'd once met Tiberius' father more than a quarter of a millennium ago, but he'd barely been paying attention at the time. They were not like this Zack Romero guy was describing at all. Well, Tiberius was a fine human being, and Curzon did try hard to live up to his father, and Lexus was beautiful, but that was like saying that Rejistania played with men behind the ball. Of course that major point was true, but this guy was just filling in the blanks with his own ranting.

"Why are you listening to this trash, Dalnir?" Simeone asked the white-haired Dwarven scientist from the future, as he tinkered with the Morpheus Device.

"In't future," Dalnir began. He often began sentences like this, explaining the way he did things, why he expected certain things like all doors opening automatically to happen, and why he was particularly interested in everyday occurences, "this wee fella got something of a, let's shall we say, a reputation, and I wanted tae hear him unfiltered, like. No the highlights, but a whole stream."

"This... guy, is famous in the future?" Simeone frowned at the thought. "Not sure that's a future I want to see too much."

"Well we're on our way t'changin' it," Dalnir said, "I hope."

"Is everyone on the list programmed in, yet?"

Dalnir tapped a few buttons on the side of the Morpheus Device, the tall and heavy obsidian doorframe with futuristic-looking lights glowing on it softly, each like a gentle heartbeat in a peculiar kind of rhythm to each other that you only noticed if you stared at it for long enough.

"Aye," Dalnir agreed, "first one will be the test, ah've just gotta tinker with a few more settin's, make sure I don't blow up the sun, if ye ken what ah'm sayin'."

'Blow up the sun'; Simeone was pretty sure he understood what that meant. Even if Dalnir was being poetic, the costs of messing with this technology could be epic. The Morpheus Device reminded him of the stuff they had in the Dreamed Realm, only an exceptionally primitive version. It still felt the same, though. Simeone mostly-wished that Azewyn was here, but the preparations for the Adab match, Starblaydia's final home game and their first of two chances to seal automatic qualification, meant she could not find a moment in her schedule to be here for this all important event.

"Why are ye wanting a goalkeeper, though? Dalnir asked, "surely ye want some kind of Special Forces operatives, or ninjas or wizards or something."

"They'll come later, if this works," Simeone said, "this goalkeeper is the one who warned me about all this before, I'm pretty sure that he had some kind of prophetic ability."

"A goalkeeping prophet, eh?" Dalnir was amused, "after the goalkeeping elvish Gravelord ah guess ah shouldnae be too surprised.So, ye wanna build up the tension fer another day, or get goin' with the electrickery?"

"No time like the present," Simeone shrugged, "apparently."

"Well ah cannae fault yer enthusiasm, laddie," Dalnir teased, "so if ye wanna say anything fer posterity, like, now's the time."

"Here goes some damned fool of an idea,
I guess."

"That'll do," Dalnir nodded and pressed an important-looking button on the control panel.

The Morpheus Device started to humm, as presumably motors or a power source of some sort spun up. Simeone hadn't bothered to ask how the device worked itself because, as with most oneirotech, even the simplest of explanations were several orders of magnitude above his level of understanding. Buttons were pressed, things glowed and made noise, and the surrounding residential blocks experienced a brownout for the third time in six months.

The lights of the Morpheus Device dimmed, the humming and whirring stopped, and the lights in the house flickered back to full brightness. Nothing appeared to happen. No flowing curtain of immaterium, no thundercrack, flash of light or neo-celtic geometric pattern on the floor. Simeone wondered if the device had failed.

Then there was a ripple.

The air between the gateway distorted and bent, like a close-up magician whipping the tablecloth away and leaving the glasses and plates unbroken, vibrating softly. A dark line appeared in mid-air, a crack, splitting reality down like a sticky zip on the back of a dress, one that you just can't get enough pressure with your fingers on. Reality appeared to be much more rippable than any gown, however, as the black slit in the middle of the room grew, darting down to the ground with a crack, a distinct tear in reality.

Dalnir stepped towards the dark line of irreality. In his hands was what looked like an enormous pair of boltcutters, or the jaws of life that firefighters use to cut cars in half to save the lives of those trapped inside. However, instead of cutting inwards, this tool of techno-brutality opened outwards, with crackling blue-white electricity at their tips. Dalnir braced himself, and shoved the tip of his tool stoutly into the crack in reality. Little did Simeone know, but some engineers in the Dreamed Realm were exceptionally worried at this point.

Dalnir opened the jaws, and the crack in reality was ripped apart with a thundercrack and the sound of a thousand trumpets blaring at once. The dark stain in the air flew open, contained only by the sides of the Morpheus Device. It sparked as the darkness met the solid obsidian, barely managing to contain it.

"Call 'im," Dalnir whispered, "he knows ye, not me."

"Lucas?" Simeone said, his voice faltered slightly. "Lucas, um, over here!"

After a few seconds, the blackness again rippled like a cloak, and into reality stepped, clear as day, Lucas Cable in his prime. The Best in the World. Tall and lean, his piercing eyes looking around, frowning slightly.

Simeone stepped over to him, reaching out his hand instinctively.

"Lucas," Simeone said, "I'm glad you could make it."

Lucas Cable extended his arm slowly and shook Simeone's hand. Suddenly his eyes went wide, and the goalkeeper passed out.

by **Barunia** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:51 am

Visit Barunia
Sponsored by the Barunian Government Department of Tourism

Ch 12. Fairweather and Marion Isle
Fairweather is located on the south coast of Marion, on a deep natural bay surrounded by high cliffs. The small fishing town has grown into a moderately large city, with plenty to see. It’s also a great place to begin a journey up Mount Marion, the many-peaked volcano at the heart of the island.

Getting around
To get to Fairweather, take the Marion Coastal Highway south from Edwardton. There is also a rail service from the state capital. Fairweather is a city in two parts: The New (or Upper) Town sits on the top of the cliffs, while the Old (or Lower) Town sits at their base, on the harbour. The New Town has its own small underground rail network, with three radial lines converging at three central stations, while the Lower Town has no public transport networks other than buses. A funicular railway connects the two Towns together.

Things to see - Fairweather
A visit to Old Town is a must for any tourist coming to Fairweather. Getting there is part of the fun: either take the only funicular railway in the country, or the twisty Cliff Road. Either one takes you through the rock of the cliffs themselves. If you opt for the road route, you’ll come out of the tunnel to be driving above the ocean, only an incredible feat of engineering holding you aloft. As you turn the corner, you’ll find yourself looking down on the Old Town, as you come down the cliff that forms one of the harbour walls. Old Town is the original settlement here, back when Fairweather was just a fishing town. The fishing fleet still leaves from here. Most of the buildings are from the time when this was the only Fairweather, from about 1880 to 1950. The town hasn’t changed much since then, and visiting the Old Town can feel like stepping back in time. Check out the High Street with its old shops, and get lost as you wander down the cobbled streets. Try a meal at the Sail and Anchor, the oldest pub in the city. If you want to see the heart of the place though, then head to the harbour. Widow’s Pier is the place to watch the boats come in and out of the harbour. Located on the pier is a statue dedicated to those lost at sea.

At New Town above, check out Observation Point, which is positioned on the edge of the cliff and gives great views down to Old Town and over the ocean. The lookout here was converted into an observation post during the civil war, and a replica of the air defence cannons systems positioned here can be seen. Fairweather was the command centre for the socialist army during the war, and remnants of that period remain. One of the most fascinating is The Bunker House. Located in a suburban street, this normal house was converted into the top-secret command centre of the socialist army command. In fact, it went back to being a family home until recently, when it was purchased by the National Heritage Association, which have outfitted it as it would have been during those clandestine meetings. The house has two war rooms; one in the building itself, and one in the bunker, an underground concrete structure built in the backyard. The NHA run Bunker House as a museum, and give guided tours through the building on Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays from 10am until 5pm. Entry is free. The Town Hall was also used as a command centre, and houses a small permanent exhibition of pieces from the period. There is also the Civil War Museum of Fairweather, not far from the Town Hall, which has a good collection.

Things to See – Mount Marion
The volcano that dominates Marion’s centre has many peaks, caused by pooled lava and multiple vents. Each peak has its own name, often preceded by the word “mount”, but the whole is referred to as Mount Marion, or by locals as just “the mountain”. If you want to climb the mountain, you’ll need to stick to the designated paths. You can climb unassisted, although guided group walks are available.

If you’re leaving from Fairweather, then the first peak within Mount Marion National Park that you will arrive at is Mt Stewart. This is a fairly easy climb, with some nice views from the top. Further in is Mt Nazareth, which has caves to explore. Also check out Bluepool Caves Near Mt Sorrow, or Bird Cave, so named for its resident population of nightjars, which is near the top of Mt Carver. The top most peak is Mt Ogenakaro, which is only accessible by foot. There are far more peaks and places to explore than this guide has time for, so check online at www.mountmarionnp.org.bu, or at any tourist office.

by **Karulicja** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:16 am

The Wrap Up, Part Two

One more encounter on the books. Plenty had hoped for a dead rubber against Valanora, allowing the quintuple World Champions to relax their star line-up and replace va Drake, Soldarian and Hawk by equally quality but less impressive names. However, as the Elves will need the three points to cement their position amongst the best thirty-two of the world, it seems as if Karulicja will be able to wrap it up with 25 points out of eight victories, a respectable debut after all. With that in mind, we can continue our rundown of the individual performances, the relevations and disappointments.

6.5/10 – Josip Pajic – 8 games, 1 goal

The Joker in the pack for Dusan Azzini, whose versatility got him practically in any spot of the midfield set-up. This also disallowed Pajic to cement his own starting spot, it must be added, but Pajic took this as a real teammate, ensuring that each of his substitutions give an extra shot of energy to the line-up once the going gets tough. Being it backing up for the miles of Hysi or covering the wing from Kunstelj, Pajic manages to take up the burden. The downside of all this is that one can wonder whether he can ever fit in the line-up in the long run. With that in mind, we did enjoy his goal against New Gazi to wrap up the score – even if he himself had to admit that it was intended as an assist and not a marvellous curve in the top corner. Pajic deserves praise and ensures that this Karulicja manages to rotate and alter.

7/10 – Walid Mlaouek – 5 games, 1 goal

Originally considered as an expansion name, the kind of player which simply joins the formation to ensure that the numbers are met, Mlaouek showed that he’s not just here to keep the bench warm. His goal against Savalen on his debut might be the moment that’s stuck in everyone’s mind, a clever infiltration in the box to pinch it behind the grabbling hands of the goalie. However, it was at the later occasions where he came in for his teammate Derbali or Ceccarelli that he convinced us of his potential. Mlaouek dares to wreak havoc in the final third of the pitch and does so with equal measures of industriousness and elegance. Last night against Eastfield Lodge, where he came in to turn the tides and reap an unexpected point do show, nonetheless, that we cannot expect the 21-year old to lead the way yet – it might have been his weakest showing. Nonetheless, Azzini discovered a raw diamond and is polishing him up, match by match.

8/10 – Giuseppe Trevisan – 14 games, 2 goals, 5 assists

Despite an injury-plagued series for the pivotal player from Cadenza, one cannot but see him as one of the standout players of these qualifiers. Trevisan came out of the Independents Cup with a dented reputation and one… ehm… cheek on the bench but from the first minute onwards, he managed to convince the doubters with a series of strong appearances – even when the form of those around him disappointed. Emblematic was his showing against Savalen, where he dragged the national eleven over the line. Trevisan convincingly managed to make use of his strongest weapon, the through pass and got the chemistry with Prigidar boiling. Add a lot of heart and some clever moments of maturity – remember the cheeky yellow against Polkopia? – and you see why he won back the support of audience and media alike.

6/10 – Blazo Ujkashi – 8 games, 1 goal, 1 assist

When Blazo Ujkashi made his first start against Axuva, taking care of business as Trevisan remained in the stands with ACL problems, one would have hoped that he could blow a punch at the rising reputation of the Cadenza man. Unfortunately for Ujkashi, nothing of the like happened and he failed to direct the play. Ever since, it is clear that he is second in the pecking order for Azzini and we cannot blame the gaffer for that choice. In his defence, his appearances have rarely been subpar – with a bit of luck, there would be more than that solitary assist to his name. But it all lacked energy and prospect to really blow stronger opposition of its socks. Even more, one wonders whether there aren’t alternatives, such as Skouloudakis and Gonc at the domestic horizon who might fare better. A harsh judgement on a player who hasn’t show the same harshness in his football. Deserves a second chance, but will have to grab it.

7.5/10 – Ales Kunstelj – 15 games, 3 goals, 3 assists

Only twenty-one years old but once again, Kunstelj managed to dribble another obstacle in his young career with his archetypical style. As many criticised his production towards the box, then the pacy winger stepped it up a notch and both delivered and executed vis-à-vis the opposing goalie. One should add that in the games against the toughest opposition, such as Eastfield Lodge or Valanora, we feel that his wings get clipped a little and even with the added energy, he still struggles to keep his side of the pitch counterattack-free territory. But he slices in a technical mastery over the leather which no two Karulicjan feet possess. A personal, or should I say national, favourite will remain the little one-touch rabona flick which handed Danijel Prigidar the second goal against Polkopia – the kind of assisting pass one had to see to believe. We don’t doubt that his name will be in scouts’ notes across the multiverse.

5/10 – Anis Khalloufi (18 – Mazaf – LW) – 6 games, 1 goal, 1 assist

It hasn’t been the campaign of Anis Khalloufi so far – despite a fairly memorable goal against Axuva, the first international score in his career. The lanky left winger was perceived by the manager as the trick card to play when space was available to push the opposition against their goal. However, most of the time, it seemed as if that space was so large that Khalloufi drowned in it. That such a thing happens against the Eastfield Lodges of this universe is no shame but even against New Gazi, he didn’t thrive yet. No reason to give up our hope on a boy only eighteen springs old – but back to the class room to get back bigger and better.

5.5/10 – Dino Stipic – 2 games

Nineteen minutes on the pitch, that’s ample time to make a deep imprint on the game so far. Nonetheless, they might mark important moments for the Valesjka youngster as it showcases that he is part of the plans for Azzini. In neither he over- nor underwhelmed, so we’ll let him scoot by with an average score as well.

8.5/10 – Danijel Prigidar – 17 games, 12 goals, 3 assists

Impressive, amazing, important. Plenty of adjectives to describe the round of games Danijel Prigidar has got, quite a few which don’t fully capture his form. Nonetheless, it’s a bit too easy to simply keep it at phenomenal as there was a drought in the latter part of the first round. However, exactly that showcases the impact he has on the team which needs his goals to get propelled forward. Not only his production, a bit pumped by the demonstration against Rakivland, caught our attention but also the focus and dedication with which Prigidar weighs on every defence all the way till the final minute of extra time. It’s a maturity that stands even against tough opponents, as demonstrated on that memorable night at the Umberto Farelli Stadium when he managed an assist and a goal to singlehandedly keep Polkopia at bay. We’re not afraid to applaud that he is the key man of this team, the guy whose shirt the supporters wear and whose name they chant.

7/10 – Mauro Pagliarulo – 16 games, 4 goals, 3 assists

Pags has always admitted that within an attacking partnership, he’s the understudy and throughout the last seventeen games, he’s taken up that role as good and as bad as it goes. Evidently, he did meet his limitations and especially on the physical front, a problem arose. As his miles ensure our attacking five of plenty of oxygen, he tends to run out of it in the latter part of the game, getting subbed off more often than anyone else. And his limits one-on-one might have cost us two important points in that thriller against Qusmo. Then again, when absent against Nuadh-Alba, his impact on the tactical scheme shimmered through. Some players make the difference, others allow their teammates to do so. We struggle to consider Pagliarulo as the sort of player with which one can rival the international end bosses of the scene – for this he weighs too light. But we admire how he supports Prigidar and is proud to wear the shirt for that.

7.5/10 – Ciro Piccini – 10 games, 4 goals, 1 assist

Number one stand-in and, something Sovanzaro fans probably like to underline, the striker with the best minutes-to-goal ratio. Piccini posed a threat throughout the competition whenever he came on. His appearance against Nuadh-Alba was exemplary for this dynamic, coming in the sort of game no fan likes to watch. One side eager to win a point and defending away, the other one lacking the touch of class to break through the wall and grab what they deserve. It took Piccini four minutes and three touches of the ball to turn that around when he send a cannonball in the bottom corner. His start against New Gazi, definitely the negative odd one out of his performances, underlines that Azzini should only use him for what he’s good for – as an impact sub. If he keeps up that line of performances, we predict another round of goals for Ciro.

6.5/10 – Gianni Altacci – 6 games, 2 goals

From a purely sporting point of view, one is inclined to applaud Altacci with what he added to the side. First, there was that marvellous diving header in the game against Savalen which turned the scales back in our favour. And only last night, he gave Eastfield Lodge quite a scare when he halved their lead – a brace by the impeccable Werdickley Safadão – with a clever chip which caught Korbin Harvey wrongfooted. In one move, he rectified what must have been his least inspired game, in the home fixture, when he seemed disinterested and barely fit to appear. But one should worry for his off-pitch role, as demonstrated in the interviews after the game. “I haven’t gotten enough chances to show I’m the best striker in the nation” and other quotes in that gist offer Azzini the biggest pickle of his campaign: can he leave a top striker and the only true alternative to Prigidar at home or should he take risks with the atmosphere of the group, which seemed good even throughout a lesser series? Just putting his squad in that position costs him a point.

by **Dreamplanet** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:34 am

MRIIN SLIP BY, DREAMPLANET OUT

Dreamplanet don't do enough against Mriin, Dreamplanet are out of the World Cup qualifiers with 1 match to go, but the boys have made us proud, they punched well above their weight for an unranked nations, Dreamplanet are hyped for the future now, we've done a great recovery, but it just wasn't to be. They're out, but they put out a good fight.

Luis Silva made us all believe with an early goal, what a shot it was, and we even kept it for the half, however it wasn't to be as they got the equaliser through a Solara Vol header, but that's fine, a draw against Mriin isn't the end of the world, however the end of the world was Hilda Iarrow's equaliser in the 88th minute, and Dreamplanet were out, Darkmania were also out with a draw against Crystalline Caverns and Jeruselem beating Abanhfleft 3-2, the dream has been postponed.

Mriin 2 - 1 Dreamplanet
(Solara Vol 57', Hilda Iarrow 88' - 5' Luis Silva)
Maal, Mriin

Saturday September 1st - MD1: Dreamplanet 1-2 Jeruselem
Sunday September 2nd - MD2: Lycrabon 1-1 Dreamplanet
Monday September 3rd - MD3: Dreamplanet 1-2 Abanhfleft
Tuesday September 4th - MD4: Dreamplanet 2-1 Crystalline Caverns 
Wednesday September 5th - MD5: Mareibat 3-4 Dreamplanet
Thursday September 6th - MD6: Dreamplanet 6-2 Neo-Romanum
Friday September 7th - MD7: Darkmania 1-3 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 8th - MD8: Dreamplanet 1-4 Mriin
Sunday September 9th - MD9: Sultanate of Oontaz 2-2 Dreamplanet
Tuesday September 11th - MD10: Jeruselem 3-0 Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 12th - MD11: Dreamplanet 4-1 Lycrabon
Thursday September 13th - MD12: Abanhfleft 4-0 Dreamplanet
Friday September 14th - MD13: Crystalline Caverns 1-2 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 15th - MD14: Dreamplanet 3-1 Mariebat
Sunday September 16th - MD15: Neo-Romanum 2-3 Dreamplanet
Monday September 17th - MD16: Dreamplanet 4-3 Darkmania
Tuesday September 18th - MD17: Mriin vs Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 19th - MD18: Dreamplanet vs Sultanate of Oontaz

Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Mriin                            17   14   2   1    52   17  +35    44  (Q)
 2 Abanhfleft                       17   11   1   5    34   22  +12    34
 3 Jeruselem                        17   10   3   4    38   28  +10    33
 4 Darkmania                        17    9   3   5    44   35   +9    30  (E)
 5 Dreamplanet                      17    9   2   6    38   35   +3    29  (E)
 6 Sultanate of Oontaz              17    7   4   6    23   28   −5    25  (E)
 7 Crystalline Caverns              17    6   4   7    21   25   −4    22  (E)
 8 Mareibat                         17    4   1  12    22   34  −12    13  (E)
 9 Neo-Romanum                      17    1   5  11    17   37  −20     8  (E)
10 Lycrabon                         17    1   1  15    12   40  −28     4  (E)

Qualified for World Cup
Qualified for Playoffs
Eliminated

That's it, final whistle, Dreamplanet were out, Mriin players congratulate themselves and the crowd are joyous, however the Dreamplanetian players are downhearted and on the ground, Aaron Hungar was once again in tears, however Luis Silva and his men had seen it all before, Rodrigo Vaz had pushed his unranked side to the limits, however they were fighting an inevitability, there was no guarantee that they were gonna get top 2, it's also technically impossible to get Top 3 now with losses with Abanhfleft and Jeruselem, but there was much to be happy about, could it be that better days awaited the humble side?

Mriin might've been the one that cut the dream short, but there's always next time, and that's what Rodrigo Vaz wanted to say to his team. "I know it feels hard to take, elimination is never a kind affair, but we've given the Dreamplanetians hope, we played amazingly and made people turn their heads in our direction, I can feel it, World Cup 82 will be where we get our play-off place, and if not, World Cup 83." Obviously, raising morale would never be easy in an environment of such dejection, but there was the light at the end of the tunnel. "You're right," said Luis Silva "It's been an amazing campaign, and I'm looking forward to more matches raising the flag for Dreamplanet and finally get in that illusive top 2 spot." and his teammates agreed, Luis Silva always had a way to raise morale even when it seemed lost. Aaron Hungar, often quiet, spoke out "It's going to be a long and hard ride, that's for sure, but we can do it if we just play above ourselves every match." and then Rodrigo Vaz concluded with "Exactly, we've got the hopes of a nation on our shoulders, but it's not a burden, it's a joy, we'll be meeting eachother soon enough, it might be the end of our World Cup 81 hopes, but its only the start of a new era."

The players soon went on to get changed and out of the dressing rooms to return to their lives, nobody was happy with what happened from the fans to the players, but this was only the beginning of something new, but for now, that was the end of it, who knows what will happen next.

by **East Belzaria** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:01 am

The East Belzaria National team won 4-0 over Sharktail in their final home game. This is their biggest win in Qualifying history.

It started 5 minutes in when Lorn Monte slotted home a penalty. Then in the 34th minute, Shad Radclyffe recieved a beautiful pass from Morty Beau and slotted home to make it 2-0. Right on halftime, Johnathan Rodriguez positioned himself perfectly for the corner kick and headed home his first goal of the campaign to make it 3-0. East Belzaria played a relativley defensive game in the second half, but then a Brian Riez scored a beautiful freekick to complete the 4-0 victory.

The overall performance was East Belzaria's best home game yet. East Belzaria completes their home campaign well. They started it with a 5-1 loss to Saltstead, but have only lost 1 home game since that occurence. David Madridson is proud of the team and stated "One game to go, and I'd say we need to keep our momentum. Let's defeat Penguiland."

by **Ko-oren** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:47 am

Guess who's back
Back again
K'oren's back
Tell a friend

The Dragonflies are back once again, finally present at a World Cup! We've waited since World Cup 75, and all these years later, Ko-oren has qualified for the World Cup. Still in second place, still behind South Covello, but so consistent as a runner-up that we cannot be overtaken by number four on the runners-up table.

Including the hosts, 20 teams have so far secured their place. Three groups will be decided tomorrow, and then we'll also find out who the third best runner-up is. The eight remaining places will be given out during the playoffs. The Dragonflies are lucky to miss the playoffs, which so often have been the end of our World Cup aspirations. Also, World Cup 81 marks the 10th time Ko-oren is represented at a World Cup, the first time being World Cup 64. So, out of the 17 World Cups between then and now, we've been at 10 of them, so you can tell our consistency has been fairly non-existent. Though it has to be said that in nearly all of those years we've missed the World Cup, we've gone to the Cup of Harmony which we've even won once.

Now it sounds like qualification is over, but it isn't just yet. Ko-oren have one last challenge, in Aminey, versus South Covello. With a win, we overtake them for first place in the group and hand them their first loss. No matter what, this match will be one to remember. Without 90% of the clenching, as the result won't change too much. With that, we present both squads, and their predicted line-ups:

South Covello          Ko-oren

GK: Matthew Tyler      GK: Larut Theshendan
LB: Pat Hauer          LB: Ézo Gicquel
CB: Cal Yachtwood      CB: Minne van Schelven
CB: Dmitri Woodward    CB: Hikomoto Mizuno
RB: Paul Paul          CB: Exidio Varela
DMC: Dexter Yankee     RB: Lionel Dalton
LMC: Steve Danckweed   DM: Reizo Yokota
MC: Gerry Ollivera     CM: Philip Odell
RMC: Henry Ocho        AM: Maximilien Longchambon
OMC: Pillory Cantwell  ST: Mata Vaugrenard
ST: Coconut Charles    ST: Antoine Duchemin

However we compare these teams, from current strength, to talent, or even putting players head to head, we have to give South Covello the advantage almost every time. Ko-oren is happy just qualifying for the tournament, while everything short of a quarterfinal berth would be disappointing to this Rebel team. There's a few bright spots where we could give Ko-oren the benefit of the doubt:

1) Goalkeeper
Theshendan is an amazing goalkeeper, having let in just six this campaign. Both teams have been fantastic in giving their goalkeepers very little to do, with the two teams currently having the best defences in the multiverse numbers-wise. Still, with Tyler being just 20 years of age, Theshendan just has to be slightly better with his 26 years. Name any number of things that get better with age, and goalkeepers will be in that list. Theshendan > Tyler.

2) Flexibility
All three of Ko-oren's CBs have the ability to support the attack up front. A 5-3-2 quickly turns into a 4-4-2, with Yokota as a great replacement for any defender if needed. At the same time, the Dragonflies have survived three different configurations throughout qualification, going from 23 to 16 back to a different set of 23 players, all the while losing just two matches and conceding just six across the entire campaign so far. Like the first point, South Covello absolutely aren't bad at this, but Ko-oren has the slight edge.

by **Tinhampton** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:25 pm

TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 2-0 Octinstine
Venue: Tin Park, Tinhampton, Tinhampton

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

Tinhampton (Sweeper 5-3-2): 12. Julia ATHERTON (GK), 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA (SW), 13. Evan MORRIS, 14. Nathaniel GEORGE, 15. Davina SALT, 16. Brian SMALL, 17. Steve CAMERON, 6. Michael YOUNG (C), 18. Jacob NORTH, 11. Ian GRAHAM, 22. Ben WILLIAMSON
Octinstine (4-4-2, no shirt numbers, lineup supplied in alphabetical order): Andrew B, Steven B, Andrew D, Neil F, Jordan G, Terry L, Bobby N, Will M, Olly M, George S, Mike T.
No players were unable to play today, although Simon FORD (TIN) has ruled himself out.

GOALS: Ben WILLIAMSON 52'19'' (TIN), Mike T 73'11'' (Octinstine, trigram unknown - own goal)
CARDS: Still none, happily. We wouldn't injure a bunch of kids!
INJURIES: None. See above.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Octinstine were represented by Grade 6 students at Bartonson Community Primary School, located in the west of Tinhampton. No children were harmed in the production of this football match.

Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 18: You Only Get One Shot...

TINHAMPTONIAN INTERNATIONAL BROADCASTING PRESENTS:
Note: TIB IS THE INTERNATIONAL ARM OF THE TINHAMPTON BROADCASTING SERVICE
THE NEWS AT FIVE* (*Note: TINHAMPTON TIME)
THE SCRIPT IS PRESENTED BELOW...

On six... two... five... zero kilohertz across the multiverse, this is Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting.
It is now five in the evening in Tinhampton. Likewise, it is seven in the evening in Concord Heights, Cassadaigua.
Coming up... the news, in Tinhampton and abroad. We now hand over to William Everson.

WILLIAM EVERSON (WE): This is the Tinhamptonian Broadcasting Service, in conjunction with Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting. Our top story today: Cassadaigua are hosting Tinhampton tonight in a match that both teams need to win in order to progress to the World Cup qualification playoffs. With more on this story, here's Johnny Holmes.
JOHNNY HOLMES: Thank you, William. As you were saying, a draw will be enough for the Cassadagans, therefore making victory not just a craving but a necessity for Tinhampton. The Miners are widely expected to start a lineup unchanged from their victory over Octinstine, with the exception of Ben Williamson, who is taken out of the attack to make way for Reece Ford in midfield; in addition, Michael Young retains his solid presence as captain. Fans should not expect disappointment, even in spite of only being given a twenty-five percent change of victory at the Dagan fortress tonight. Johnny Holmes, Concord Heights Stadium, Cassadaigua, for the Tinhampton Broadcasting Service.
WE: Thank you, Johnny. You can listen to Tinhampton vs Cassadaigua live from Concord Heights by sticking with us on TBS or Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting; it is also live on television in Tinhampton, as exclusively covered by the TBS from five-oh-five this evening. In other news, three candidates that plan to stand in next month's Mayoral election have already gotten their names on the ballot in these past few hours, with one more likely to follow. Ruth Ford has more on this story.
RUTH FORD: Thank you, William. As you were saying, John Price resigned yesterday, but - unlike his Minister of Finance Victoria Byrne, and similarly to Deputy Lance Dyer - he will have to remain in his post until the Mayoral election is decided at the beginning of next month, allegedly much to his chagrin. So far, three challengers have gotten the eight endorsements necessary to stand: Military Minister Saffron Howard, who has consistently argued for Tinhampton to hold a stronger global presence, in addition to Tinhamptonian Libertarian leader Daniel Steer, who argues for less business regulation, and moderate Education Minister Vanessa Davis. Kevin Wright, who is standing in as Foreign Minister after Lydia Anderson was kidnapped in the royal palace in Transarid last month, currently has five endorsements, and has until midnight on Friday to claim three more. Ruth Ford, Gasworks Road, Tinhampton, for the Tinhampton Broadcasting Service.
WE: Thank you, Ruth. Elsewhere, Riots in Tinhampton are still raging on and have now claimed fifty-two lives, according to latest coroner's reports. After the firebombing of the Miners' Building Society's oldest location in the centre of Tinhampton yesterday, a truck attack on protestors in the north claimed 20 lives. The Tinhamptonian Student Unity, an infamous left-wing university protest group, has taken responsibility for it, as well as yesterday's bus suicide bombing at the airport.
Vanessa Davis, who is challenging for the post of Mayor of Tinhampton, has also called upon serving Mayor Price to "open up" about the official governmental endorsement of Change 2018 in the Viksbergian general election next month, an endorsement which is constitutionally prohibited. The currency has also stabilised as of late, although one Multiversal Standard Dollar is still worth three point one Tinhamptonian Dollars. The Tinhampton Stock Exchange 50 was down one-hundred and fifty-six points to seven thousand and fifty-two points. That's all from me, William Everson; our next bulletin is at eight o'clock. Next up is our live coverage of the football match between Cassadaigua and Tinhampton.

TINHAMPTONIAN INTERNATIONAL BROADCASTING PRESENTS:
Note: TIB IS THE INTERNATIONAL ARM OF THE TINHAMPTON BROADCASTING SERVICE
CASSADAIGUA vs TINHAMPTON at CONCORD HEIGHTS, CASSADAIGUA
LIVE ON SHORTWAVE RADIO - commentary by GEORGE PIRATIN and PETER FORD
with pre-match analysis by ROBERT SEVERN, SAMANTHA JACKSON and OWEN TURNER
THE SCRIPT IS PRESENTED BELOW...

On six... two... five... zero kilohertz across the multiverse, this is Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting.
It is now five... oh-six in the evening in Tinhampton. Likewise, it is seven... oh-six in the evening in Concord Heights, Cassadaigua.
Coming up... the National Football Team of Tinhampton will play Cassadaigua at the Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights, Cassadaigua. This is the final match of the qualification campaign of both teams for the 81st soccer World Cup in the Free Republics and also in Banija.
We now hand over to Robert Severn.

ROBERT SEVERN (RS): This is the Tinhamptonian Broadcasting Service, in conjunction with Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting. Good evening to you, wherever you may be listening. As has been said earlier, I will guide you through in these final fifteen minutes before this final faceoff for Tinhampton, who visit Cassadaigua on their home turf and who must trump them in order to reach the playoffs that will decide who will fill the final eight spaces in the greatest sporting competition in the multiverse. I have a little aid here from former Tinhamptonian internationals Samantha Jackson and Professor Owen Turner, the latter of whom is also a Professor of Mathematics at Tinhampton University.
SAMANTHA JACKSON (SJ): Hello there, everybody...
PROF. OWEN TURNER (OT): And I'm also pleased to be here today.
RS: Well, I hope the emphasis was on "here" rather than "also." Tinhampton's Miners, as they are dubbed, are staring the single biggest game of their lives right in the face, and I just cannot imagine the tension that our eleven players are having to go through out there on the field. How do you suppose they will hold up in today's epic match-up?
OT: Epic is certainly the right word to be using here: I have in my hand a pamphlet of sorts that notes that tailgating here in the capital commenced almost half a day prior to the big game. I'm told that even a band stylising itself "Smashing Dreams of Minors" performed outside today - put that together with the Concord Heights Times' wishes for Cassadagan progression and you have quite the long-anticipated showdown! The Dagans are sure to want to exact revenge over Tinhampton after having so nearly been robbed of a point at Tin Park in dramatic circumstances; everything on the cards points to a high likelihood of victory for them, that having been said.
RS: Another potential sticking point here is the passionate crowd, which is packed 160-to-1 in favour of home supporters - which could have been larger if not for the loyal support of several hundred travellers! Will it have any sort of impact?
SJ: The MegaLeague has been derided by countless observers as being "the most glorified pub league in the world" - Dave Winner's words, not mine - and they would not be entirely unjustified in doing so. Take Aihlo Vatunska, who was forced out of his country during the Third Gladom Newion Civil War and has now led the New Lions Club on some of the most hallowed turf in football, including their 4-2 defeat at Rozelle in the 65th Globe Cup, it must have been; in the previous round of the same tournament, Julia Atherton kept a clean sheet for the Eleven Retinues against Polaris of Ceni and they were extremely unlucky to have been eliminated after losing 3-0 at home. Both, however, played the full 90 minutes against Brenecia and both were no doubt at fault for some of those goals conceded - I'm entirely confident, however, that both can clearly handle all pressure out there. The same goes for everybody else, even after that annihilation!
RS: Now, Owen, you were nodding your head a bit when Samantha said that, so obviously you would concur that Tinhampton's strength is in defence?
OT: Of course - doubly so with captain Michael Young, himself a defensive midfielder for the first part of this campaign, opting for a 5-4-1; Rachel Coltfield, the more pragmatist manager that came in when Turnbull quit after our humiliation at Oscioru, has not vetoed it and genuinely trusts Mike to get the decision right first time. Vatunska remains the sweeper but the tired Simon Wood taken out of the attack in favour of Reece Ford, who was ironically a striker before being repositioned before this World Cup. That aside, watch out also for Brian Small, who has bounced back excellently from his Kingsgarden tragedy to set up Williamson for the first goal at Tin Park against Octinstine, and Jacob North, who has always been a reliable box-to-box midfielder for club and country.
RS: Yet so many of these amateurs have pulled off the most amazing results: Samantha, who is supposed to be Tinhampton City's surgeon, was involved in our 1-0 triumph over Audioslavia during the World Cup 78 qualification campaign, the same Audioslavia who had lost the final two cycles prior at Ceni and Electrum, the 1-1 tie we secured with Damukuni in our debut cycle, and in the 0-0 draw when hosting Turori the following cycle. Am I not wrong?
SJ: Yes, but no matter who plays, the onus is always on a sense of cross-field collaboration, with almost no room for individual expression: this is the Tinhamptonian way, although some could argue it was mostly stolen from the "Retinue Way" - no matter Atherton and North are performing so well! It's also worth noting that, due to the pitiful wages paid out here, many of our players really cry out for a national call-up like seven or eight of our lot already have, and virtually nobody has a career in Tinhamptonian football alone - I suppose I could make an exception for Ian Jones, who started every one of our games until the recent match against South Libertopia.
RS: The Miners will be left wondering what might have been, with their 3-0 loss against the Brenecians a sore thumb in the midsts of the latter's draws against Baptism of Fire champions Cobrio, fellow newcomers Czarna Gora - that scoreless draw, it must be added, securing the Patriots' tickets to the World Cup - and a 2-1 loss against Lydia Potter's Libert---
OT: But there is absolutely no way to tell how exactly team bonding works in the rest of the multiverse, although I suppose it must be going equally well over there. I do say "equally well," there is a chasm of over sixty places in the World Cup Committee rankings between the two of our sides. A third-pot team should absolutely be able to pull off a result like that if even the lowly seeds can do so, but only in theory, as I have outlined hell-if-I-know many times before. You also need to consider the political situation in that dull and grey corner of Rushmore.
RS: A situation that we will refrain from discussing here. If you are interested in sticking around, however, Politics Corner airs here on Tinhamptonian International Broadcasting at eight o'clock tonight in Tinhampton, which is ten o'clock tonight in Concord Heights, Cassadaigua. We here in the punditry box have not been given any indication of how the Fillies will start tonight, and whilst I'm sure you two will be snapping at the bit to tell us all about what we'll do against them, we'll also spare that for a few minutes. Instead, our big question: How can Tinhampton deal with the attacking Dagan threats we have grown so used to this cycle?
OT: Well, for the highest-scoring team in our group, easily in the eighth percentile of teams ranked by goals scored, facing off against one of only seven teams to have conceded eight goals or less this cycle so far, you should and absolutely must expect the back end of the Tinhamptonian lineup to receive a major test, and you would probably be right in thinking that. Hannah Ranucci has posed threats to world champions and unranked outfits alike this cycle, whilst Sierra Mattison, perhaps Shelby Martin and definitely - as we can all testify - Caitlyn Mayer also need to be dealt with, each to their own. Both teams will be thinking to themselves "this kind of potential is something I absolutely should not ignore."
SJ: Yes, indeed, before you ask. The new system of zonal marking with a sweeper appears to be working out well so far, even if it fared poorly against Brenecia compared to the 4-1-3-2 of relative yore. By not focusing on... anybody in particular, and instilling a wide-spread culture of defensive trackbacks even further up the pitch, we are highly able to efficiently contribute our resources towards their attack. So goes the conventional wisdom, all we need to do score whenever we can, then hold tight in defence, end up humilating their entire nation and Bob's your uncle and so on so forth.
RS: You should go telling James and Harry that! Now, our final pair of questions for the night: Does Samantha over here believe that Tinhampton has what it takes to win the single most significant match in their history so far?
SJ: Absolutely. I've seen the players here, so many of them I rubbed shoulders with along the years in some of the finest stadiums on the planet and I can reassure you that they have a brilliant level of self-belief and, as Professor Taylor was saying earlier, an extraordinary level of team bonding and gelling. Can we do it? Of course we can!
RS: And to round off our preview, what about you, Owen? Do you genuinely suspect that Tinhampton will run away victorious here from Concord Heights tonight?
OT: As I've said, we may have what it takes but we might not what we need to take! Having carried out over five thousand simulations of this match, even given the best possible circumstances, Tinhampton's three-to-one odds of victory appear justified by the bookmakers, with us drawing about as often and the Dagans winning some half of the time. Interestingly, my calculations reveal that Tinhampton has a third of a percent of a chance of conceding five goals or more against their free-scoring opposition, with the inverse being almost zero for the Cassadagans. That being said, I did enjoy this particular scoreline - Tinhampton 7, Cassadaigua 2!
RS: Well, all we can do is hope that the Church realises that you're meant to sacrifice rubber chickens! All that put to one side, however, we now head swiftly onto George Piratin and Simon Ford - also commentating on the domestic Broadcasting Service - to give us their stylish blend of lineups, commentary and in-play analysis.
GEORGE PIRATIN: Thank you, Robert. As you were saying, Tinhampton face the challenge of their lives tonight, but will we have items ticked off Tinhamptonian bucket lists everywhere tonight? We'll find out after the national anthems...

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