World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

[Beepee]

MICHINE 1 - 0 BEEPEE

Scorer
Pierre LAVOTCHKINE (51')

Michine exacted revenge over Beepee with a close 1-nil victory.

Pierre Lavotchkine scored the winner after a corner whipped in by Youri Samedoff.

Beepee were clearly out of sorts from the shock arrest of their head coach Michael Forsberg for drink driving. Beepeean fans are hopeful this is just a blip rather than the start of the unravelling of what has been a good first half to qualifying.

---

EXTRA... EXTRA... READ ALL ABOUT IT! MARY FORSBERG DEAD! EXTRA... EXTRA...

Mary Forsberg killed in car crash

Mary Forsberg, 39, wife of former Beepeean football head coach was killed in a car crash near Pinewoods Ravine late Saturday evening.

Travelling by taxi, police have said that the car went over the side of the overpass. The driver, Gordon Burgess, 46, from Norfolk Pinewoods was also killed.

Forsberg was a fellow in molecular biology at Pinewoods University and is survived by her husband and two children.

A memorial service will be held at NP crematorium at 2pm on Wednesday.

---

Michael Forsberg rose and pled guilty to drink driving in court. I'm sentencing the judge took into account the 'recent tragedy that has beset him with the death of his wife'. His license was suspended for six months and ordered to pay a fine of one hundred thousand shills.

---

[Cassadaigua]

(After the match)

“You just sealed your fate!” Kristen Speller shouted at her coach, Stephanie Sweeney. Speller, of course, was pissed about being pulled out of the game after shouting at Carlos Martinez in the 27th minute, when Brenecia scored their second goal of the match. Martinez, inexplicably was left in the game. Of course, since Sweeney named Robert Nunez the substitute instead of Kelsey Morgan, it would be the Nunez assuming the net against the defending World Cup champions. On both of Brenecia’s first two goals, it was Martinez who was the sloppy defender, and allowed the Patriots to have the scoring chance.

Sweeney looked up at her goalkeeper, and shook her head, “You don’t just push a teammate like that. We’re playing a good team that just scored their second goal, give the man a break. That push would have given anyone a yellow card, but the ref isn’t going to give you one for doing that to your teammate.”

“You’ve lost the team,” Speller yelled, “Even people like Jessica Curran and Chelsea Blake are ticked at you, now. Nunez made them look bad, too. It’s like we had a high school goalkeeper in there after we went down 2-0.”

“Robert Nunez won the Baker Park Open Cup, he is a good keeper. He just wasn’t as prepared as he should have been for the match.” Sweeney replied.

“Why don’t you ever admit that you were wrong?” Speller asked, “Even if you wanted to play another keeper, where the hell was Kelsey (Morgan)? With Kelsey, she’s a damn good goalkeeper, and I fully support her. Nunez isn’t even a top 10 goalkeeper in Cassadaigua, and you know that. Yet, you put him in there after 27 minutes when we go down 2-0. Admit it, you gave up on the team.”

“I did not give up on the team.” Sweeney insisted.

“Yeah, you did. Playing a team that did not concede a goal for the first half of qualifying, when they scored two you thought we were done. Obviously, they jinxed themselves when The Rozelle Observer pointed out the streak. Seven minutes later, Hannah Ranucci scores and makes it 2-1, but we have a rookie league goalkeeper in there. We should have had momentum, but instead, somehow between the 34th and halftime, we’re down 4-1. Do you think that happens if I was in there, or better yet, if I and someone like Hannah Shanley is back there instead of Carlos?” Speller proclaimed.

“Well, all I know is I need you back for the Octinstine match.” Speller replied.

As Speller was walking out, she found that many reporters were ready to talk to her.

“Kristen, how did it feel to be taken out in the 27th minute?” asked reporter #1.

“How do you think it felt?” Speller replied.

“That was pretty bold of a move by your coach, wasn’t it?” reporter #1 insisted.

“Bold? That’s what you’re calling it?” Speller replied.

“Oh, do you have something better to call it?” reporter #1 asked.

“Is there tension in the locker room, Kristen? Does Carlos Martinez not have support of the team?” reporter #2 asked.

“Do you think Martinez should have been taken out instead? And maybe Hannah Shanley should be playing?” reporter #3 asked before she could answer.

Speller looked up and around the room at her teammates, wanting to say something. “Right now, I am just focused on Octinstine. Coach made decisions today that she felt were the best for the team.”

“Kristen, so you didn’t think it was a bold move? You didn’t really answer me?” reporter #1 asked.

“Does Martinez have your support? Who do you want to be starting in that spot against Octinstine?” reporter #2 asked.

“Hannah Shanley is the better option, don’t you think?” reporter #3 asked.

“Do you have a problem with the men on the team?” reporter #4, a male, asked.

Speller again looked up, “Can’t you give me a chance to answer a question instead of asking all of them at once? I am just doing my job. It doesn’t matter who I think should be starting in that spot, and as a team we are all in this together.”

“Jessica Curran even questioned Carlos, though. Said Hannah Shanley should be playing. We don’t expect that out of her. Lupe Enriquez suggested that Carlos is tentative out there because of the practice incident. You’re thoughts?” Reporter #5 asked.

“Put two and two together then. Now, if you excuse me, I have other things to do.” Speller replied as she ended the interview.


Dagans Score, but lose
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

It was all the rage in the 27th minute. Brenecia’s Griffin Riordan, the world’s most underappreciated player by their home country, had made Carlos Martinez look bad with stunning moves, before firing it past Kristen Speller. That’s the polite way of saying it. Riordan didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Martinez just didn’t stop her, much the way he was exploited in the 5th minute on the Patriots first goal. Speller was pissed, and gave Martinez a two handed shove in the back as she screamed out. We’re not sure what she said, but it really doesn’t matter. With Martinez on the ground, the ref, who wasn’t looking put his arms out to wonder what happened and if he missed something before it was obvious to him that Martinez was pushed by his own teammate. No card for that, but Speller was taken out of the game by coach Sweeney for disciplinary reasons. In would come Kel... no, not Kelsey Morgan, who somehow was not named a substitute, and we’re very unsure why. In came Robert Nunez. Nunez would not face a shot until after Hannah Ranucci got one back in the 34th minute, making Patriot fans very confused to look at the opponents score and see something other then a zero. Instead of having 56 minutes to try and get another one, the Fillies knew they had a very inexperienced keeper back there. So too, did Jim Reid. The Patriots were attack focused immediately after the goal by Ranucci, and managed two more by halftime.

In the second half, there was little Nunez could do, as he seemed out of place. Brenecia went up 6-1 by the 75th minute, and the rout was on. Caitlyn Mayer scored a second goal for the Dagans, which technically means now that Kristen Speller is not the losing goalkeeper of record. Following the match, many Cassadagan players were visibly upset, not at the game, but in the taking out of Speller. Jessica Curran, always one to stay out of controversy even suggested, “Coach should look into starting Hannah Shanley.” Simple, but a powerful statement. A Concord Heights Times poll was put up asking if Martinez or Shanley should start the next match, and 83% favored Shanley. You feel for Carlos a bit, in that what should be a great experience for him is turning into one of him becoming a goat, and I don’t mean the greatest of all time.

Octinstine is next, and the Dagans must get three points, no doubt about it.

[Nephara]

Eshan 1 - 0 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Swoboda; 2 - Rafford, 5 - Konoval (vc), 6 - Steelhenge, 19 - Close; 4 - Chilmark (23 - Misidjan 57'), 8 - Klein; 7 - Fanaiyan (13 - Saroszi 71'), 21 - Gosforth (c, 14 - Moxham 71'), 11 - Strongbow; 9 - Hawke

It was hard not to hate matches like this.
As a neutral. As a player. Surely to God as a manager, there could be no love for a match with the remotest suspense, let alone something like this where every pass came under the burden of expectation, the need to avoid failure. You could accuse the Cormorants of trying not to lose, and the Cormorants were trying not to lose, a scoreless draw would suit them just fine. But these were two sides with enough of a killing edge to make their chances count, make something from nothing. The Echani had the
This was one of the highest-profile matches in the multiverse right now. The marketers had made it all about match-ups, of course, the Mozi connection of van Ciavatinni vs. Konoval the other, Athletic's Hawke against Gautier the other.
Monica Rowland's loss through injury was a massive blow for the Nepharim, and Brandon had recalled Helmut Chilmark to do the job as an anchor for him. Chilmark had been more a box-to-box marauder in his younger days. These were not his younger days. Now he was pure hatchetman, and it was a role he relished. But Rowland was the better player by far, so crucial, it turned out, in transition of play. Chilmark had, to be fair, gotten on the end of a corner from Gosforth early on, flashed a header... straight at Gautier.
Gautier had been annoyingly brilliant. Nephara's finishing had been annoyingly flaky. The Cormorants had had their chances, Hawke had uncharacteristically missed a sitter, Klein had taken up the ball in one of those situations that promises so much and blazed it into the sky, Strongbow had had the ball in the net and argued bitterly with the referee when it was chalked off for a narrow offside that Brandon had to reluctantly agree looked the right call. Swoboda had looked solid at shot-stopping, but a little nervy in distribution, pressure from Baudelio leading to a couple shanks into touch, and one moment of near-terror for the fans that saw Steelhenge have to muscle off van Ciavatinni and turn him, before passing forward quickly to the freedom of Chilmark, who... passed back, leaving Steelhenge with an impromptu run into the opposing half before an optimistic hoof up to Fanaiyan, who took the shot first time and hit the side netting. That was the kind of game it was. The Cormorants snatching at chances.
Brandon knew, right up until he didn't, that he just needed to get them in at half-time, grill them, appeal to their pride. That's why it hurt so much when the Nepharim blinked first.
Of course it was van Ciavatinni. It was always van Ciavatinni, which is why it was a surprise when it was Magnum Cerelius instead. There was always... something in Leona Rafford, and today it was a foul throw, as she tried to be a little too cute in shot-putting the ball halfway up the field. She was still sulking about that when Prudenzio lobbed the ball over her head, and then there was Cerelius running out ahead of her and she caught up and swiped for the ball and clipped his heels. Didn't need to tell him twice to go down for that.
He'd won it, he took the ball. He'd been robbed of a presentable shot, after all. Made this one count - drilled it low and hard, Swoboda going the right way but unable to get a hand to it.
Half-time did make an impact. He got them in, dressed them down, built 'em right back up - that was the pedigree Brandon had, he'd learned from the best how to do this. And they went out, roaring like lions.
He'd say this for them; they did their best. Just, bitch of it was, some days that wasn't enough.

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 6
Goalkeepers: 1 - Apostolos Tsattalios (Falourr, EUR), 12 - Andreas Swoboda (1860 Azoth, CEN), 20 - Hesterine Mercator (Tihon, CMT)
Defenders: 2 - Leona Rafford (Crisisbless), 3 - Lux Vicelich (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Ilyana Brosch (AFC Corvistone), 6 - Dragora Steelhenge (Cornellians, SCT), 18 - Eloise Kielseng (Sabrefell Athletic), 19 - Marcin Close (Brinemouth), 22 - Roxelana Thorn (Lammerton, SCT)
Midfielders: 4 - Monica Rowland (Bastion, EUR), 7 - Ishtar Fanaiyan (Eastweald, COS), 8 - Rusalka Klein (Crawford City FC, COS), 11 - Rowena Strongbow (Directus, EUR), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Chimera Moxham (Port Patrick United, SCT), 15 - Circe Rosenthal (Marionville, SCT), 16 - Ramona Porter (Vermillion Rage), 21 - Konrad Gosforth (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD, c), 23 - Servet Misidjan (AFC Treason)
Forwards: 9 - Estrella Hawke (Sabrefell Athletic), 10 - Nevaeh Cathar (Avenida Leal, FFD), 17 - Erika Wolff (North Sabrefell)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 1 - 0 Eshan @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Bongo Johnson 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 West Angola @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Nephara 3 - 2 Busoga Islands @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Cheergirls 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Cosneolta @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Ancharmunn 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 0 Greater Libertania @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
EOT 0 - 3 Nephara
Eshan 1 - 0 Nephara
Nephara vs. Bongo Johnson @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
West Angola vs. Nephara
Busoga Islands vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Cheergirls @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Cosneolta vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ancharmunn @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Greater Libertania vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. EOT @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

[Jeruselem]

Dazza Dallas Stadium, Princess Cassie with her sister the coach Princess Chloe ...

Cassie: This is Princess Cassie for Naked News Jeruselem. We're home again, like the last game. Why because the venues are reversed in the 2nd half of qualification. Dreamplanet played us before in game but at their place. This time they were the visitors. It's easy to spot when we're playing at home hey.
Chloe: Yes, because not wearing anything. You wear clothes on away games.
Cassie: The last game against Lycrabon was bit meh
Chloe: To be honest, we were probably needing a rest and not at our best on the day. But we still won that one.
Cassie: But another win today, a good one!
Chloe: Yes, we had to take on one of our rivals Dreamplanet. Who can be a threat. They aren't exactly pushovers.

Cassie: But three nil win. No goals conceded!
Chloe: That's the best bit of today. We were rested from nine games in a row. And we scored lots of goals, could have been like 5 but 3 is better than ... none
Cassie: Not quite our best win
Chloe: That was the 3-1 win against Abanhfleft in Abanhfleft. We hope we can do more of that.
Cassie: The complete performance today, not perfect but a sign we aren't a spent force.
Chloe: We'll fight for our place in the world cup, failure is the option we want.

Cassie: No surprises today. Abanhfleft were at home and beat the hapless Lycrabon 3-0. Sultanate of Oontaz played out an exciting home win 5-3 over Crystalline Caverns. Very exciting game with 8 goals. Mriin slides past Mareibat 1-0 at home. Darkmania at home beat Neo-Romanum 3-1. No real shockers.
Chloe: No, so the table has no real changes that matter.
Cassie: At this point, we expect the good teams to start showing what they are capable of. There's no room for complacancy.
Chloe: We're still 3rd, we have to keep winning. Those two at the top are going to be hard to dislodge.
Cassie: From the last campaigns, it can come down to the last game and one goal.
Chloe: Yes, and most of the time we're the ones missing out.

Cassie: There's rumours we force our players to cook their own food after training, no idea where **** that came from.
Chloe: No idea either, I'm a terrible cook. I don't inflict my cooking on others.
Cassie: I think some players just like cooking their own food, and they just do it as habit. They have their own special diet to follow.
Chloe: Everyone is free to have their own diet, we don't make then eat what they don't want to eat.
Cassie: We have a few vegans ... plant-based diet people in the team who just cook their own food because they want control their diet. On away games, they have special food orders.
Chloe: So it's not true, some people just want to feed themselves.

Cassie: Oh yes, and other thing. Your name as changed. Duchess of Palestine, Princess Chloe Elise Dallas of Jeruselem.
Chloe: Oh that, I forgot about that. Mum handed her title to me. Not that I'm any different for it, my name is just more cumbersome.
Cassie: It's just a title, it doesn't actually give you any land or anything.
Chloe: No, I don't control the Palestinian territories.
Cassie: Princess Anna, the sister of my mother Princess Elise is still the Duchess of Jerusalem. That title will move to her kids.
Chloe: She doesn't use her title much either.

Cassie: We have to address an issue. Now, news is out someone was stealing money from one of our world cup bank accounts.
Chloe: Yes, the reserve account for when we just need money was getting raided by someone in the bank who knew we didn't look there very often.
Cassie: So was it hackers?
Chloe: Actually it turned out to be some bank employees. Inside job once again.
Cassie: Did we get out money back?
Chloe: Yes, we threatened to go somewhere else to bank if they didn't return the money.

Cassie: Are we pressing criminal charges?
Chloe: I can't disclose the details but yes. We'll be locking them up, hopefully.
Cassie: No fine and a slap on wrist?
Chloe: No way, we want people being held responsible.
Cassie: Was this just us? Or far worse
Chloe: The sad bit is these people where stealing from everyone! Not just us. Everyone.

Cassie: You can't give details?
Chloe: All I can say is bank employees were stealing from "idle" accounts. Well accounts with little activity. Using devious means to do so.
Cassie: So the person out there watching this might realise that savings account for their kids, might have no money.
Chloe: Exactly, it's sad. We trust these people and they turn out be be common crooks.
Cassie: That's why I don't have bank accounts. OK two, but with another bank.
Chloe: I feel for those who realised they've been bank robbed suddenly.

Cassie: We're not saying which bank but everyone knows who we're talking about.
Chloe: I don't need to say, because the people out there already know.
Cassie: That's in from us, we're off home.
Chloe: Which isn't really far away, just down the road there.
Cassie: See you all later.
Chloe: I have to check some bank accounts ...

Group 11
Abanhfleft 3–0 Lycrabon
Jeruselem 3–0 Dreamplanet
Sultanate of Oontaz 5–3 Crystalline Caverns
Mriin 1–0 Mareibat
Darkmania 3–1 Neo-Romanum

[Indusse]

Group 6
Ceskaar 0–0 Farfadillis
Semarland 2–2 Kelssek
Tobria 0–0 Tarper
Aggrey-Fynn Land 2–0 Santa Rafa
Indusse 1–0 Super-Llamaland

Group 6 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Farfadillis 10 9 1 0 29 7 +22 28
2 Super-Llamaland 10 7 1 2 31 13 +18 22
3 Indusse 10 7 1 2 27 16 +11 22
4 Aggrey-Fynn Land 10 5 1 4 22 14 +8 16
5 Semarland 10 5 1 4 24 15 +9 16
6 Santa Rafa 10 4 1 5 13 15 −2 13
7 Kelssek 10 3 3 4 13 22 −9 12
8 Tobria 10 2 1 7 17 29 −12 7
9 Tarper 10 1 1 8 2 20 −18 4
10 Ceskaar 10 1 1 8 3 30 −27 4

Indusse Wins


Indusse defeat a aggrey finn land by 1-0. This match is been the continuation of indusse's wins and is said that these will continue. The first goal by beckam was a penalty. It was acheived when a Santa rafian defender stamped on Askar Ali. This shows that Beckham is in a few great form.

AGGREY FINN LAND - INDUSSE
0 - 1
- BECKHAM 43' (PEN)

[Brenecia]

Brenecia 6 - 2 Cassadaigua
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Woodgate; 2 - Broxham (18 - Beath 60'), 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Szubanski (c), 3 - Quill; 23 - Alweather; 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case (14 - Ruskin 60'), 13 - Wheeler, 16 - Keynes; 9 - Riordan (17 - Bremner 77')
Goals: Wheeler 5' 39' 75', Riordan 27', Keynes 42', Quill 66'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Free-Wheeling Brenecia finally concede, but win
Laura Mulholland

Alright, alright. So we're sorry we jinxed the streak by mentioning it. Still, goals from Ranucci and Mayer won't bother most Brenecia fans, who went home happy as clams after a Corby Wheeler hat-trick set the tone for a very Bardsley-esque (first vintage) performance.

It would be naive to think this was a Dagan side playing to their potential, of course. Many signs during the match pointed to fractures behind the scenes, most obviously a witless shove on the admittedly hapless Carlos Martinez from star goalkeeper Kristen Speller. Speller was sensibly withdrawn by manager Sweeney. Unfortunately, third-choice goalkeeper Robert Nunez was left to step up, and was found badly wanting.

It was the third time that match Martinez found himself on the floor, after being caught badly out of position five minutes into the match. Mattison, lively in the opening stages before morale collapsed, was dispossessed by the burly Case, who didn't mess around and got the ball to Wheeler. With Riordan unselfishly there to hold up play, Wheeler lobbed it to her, latched onto the resulting flick-on, nutmegged a flat-footed Martinez, leapt over his desperate lunge (where he overbalanced and fell) before drilling a low finish past an incensed Speller.

It was a thrilling move, and put the Fillies on the back foot. They responded quickly, Mayer played in past the defensive line by Mattison and scorching Woodgate's fingertips, but not long afterwards Griffin Riordan got her chance to get on the scoresheet herself. Riordan, who appears fully rejuvenated in a navy shirt from a lacklustre year with Klyde, simply took a pass from Crowther in stride and bulldozed by Martinez, who stumbled and fell over, watching Riordan hammer home from the ground. He got up just in time for Speller's moment of madness, and the hindsight will say it was then that the Fillies lost control.

They hadn't. In fact, they had the better of the play for a while, Mayer forcing another strong save from Woodgate from distance as the Patriots were forced back. And in the 34th minute, Curran dashed down the flank on the overlap and whipped in a cross, Hannah Ranucci swept in front of Heneghan and planted a bullet header into the top corner. No heroics from Woodgate this time. She had her revenge.

It was all the Dagans would get. Reid realised that sitting back and inviting pressure would just... well, invite pressure. And the players sniffed blood in the water. Just five minutes later, Corby Wheeler lashed home a strike from just outside the box that skipped awkwardly across the slick pitch and slipped under Nunez, and a high, arcing shot from Cathal Keynes (arguably a cross, though Keynes denied it) caught him out and left him floundering, nestling into the back of the net.

Nunez sharpened up in the early runnings of the second half, and he did manage a sharp reflex save to deny Crowther soon after the restart. But the Patriots kept up the heat, Quill extinguished any hopes of a Dagan comeback before Wheeler rubbed salt in the wound, and the sections of the away crowd still remaining voiced their displeasure at Sweeney, and at a number of the underwhelming male Fillies on the pitch. There was still time for Caitlyn Mayer to finally get on the scoresheet with a satisfying volley that hammered off the inside of the post on its way past Woodgate, a goal she richly deserved, but this is a day that Cassadaigua, a proud sporting nation, will hope to forget. Overperforming Octinstine close out their punishing three-game streak against the group's strongest sides - Brenecia enjoy relatively breezy fixtures against Al-Mumtaz and Oscioru.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 6
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rosalind Buchanan (Lunas FC, PAS), 12 - Rostyn Calhoun (Wexax United, VAL), 20 - Aidan Hartigan (Metropolis Alligators, VLD)
Defenders: 2 - Erica Weaver (North Hall), 3 - Brigid Levein (Marque), 5 - Cheney Heneghan (Ernesse Stahl, BYN), 6 - Ava Ramsay (Pikemouth), 18 - Chadwick Beath (Blue Coast 1981, PCR), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Westpike United), 22 - Garwyn Varney (Soldarian FC, VAL)
Midfielders: 4 - Roisin Staunton (Kingsgrove), 7 - Lauren Cheney (Kingsgrove), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Rozelle), 11 - Tiferet Ashbrown (Kings Park, SCT), 13 - Corby Wheeler (Goldstaff City, COS), 14 - Claire Ruskin (Southern Star), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Rene Skae, FFD), 16 - Cathal Keynes (Snowden River), 21 - Pagan Redweald (Northern Stallions), 23 - Catsidhe Alweather (Eastal Lunar, VIL)
Forwards: 9 - Banshee Strider (Lotus Park), 10 - Vesuvia Carrick (South Laithland, NPH), 17 - Niall Bremner (Westpike United)

SCHEDULE
Cassadaigua 0 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Al-Mumtaz
Oscioru 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 South Libertopia
Colonial Australia 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 5 - 0 Cobrio
Tinhampton 0 - 1 Brenecia
Czarna Gora 0 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Octinstine
Brenecia 6 - 2 Cassadaigua
Al-Mumtaz vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Oscioru
South Libertopia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Colonial Australia
Cobrio vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Tinhampton
Brenecia vs. Czarna Gora
Octinstine vs. Brenecia

[Taeshan]

It was not enough. After 90 minutes that was all you could say. They didn't do what they needed to do. For the third time in less than a year Taeshan was playing Darmen, and for the second time in Atlantea Coliseum. With the supporters raucous and rooting their team to an improbably attempt at qualifying for the World Cup after a less than good enough first round. It went south early on as Darmen made it 1-0 in the first half and it seemed like all that did was deject the faithful and the team as they attempted to do well and qualify, but it was not enough.

The second half proved more positive. Alson Figeuroa managed to score a goal and put the team on level terms. But after that the two sides failed to do much of anything. The Knights needed more, Darmen could use more in their attempts to get close to the Baker Park side. Darmen could also use the help of Taeshan winning later in the season, but as of now it looks like the status quo will continue on for a while at least. The lone blemish outside the top 3 for the Knights now looks really rough with their tie at home against Coldfield, really holding them from being within striking distance of the playoffs. The struggle continues and a cup of harmony birth seems the only likely end result for a struggling national team.

[Barunia]

Ch 9. Newland and Surrounds

Far away from Sheppardton, roughly halfway on Barunia Island’s north coast, lies West Barunia’s capital, Newland. Newland is a city of vast opposites, a modern city with an old heart, and a bright future with a dark past. There is much in this city to interest the cultured traveller, and the city also serves as the gateway to the rest of West Barunia and Tildos.

Getting Around
The Trans-Barunia Highway runs directly to Newland, and is one of the quickest ways to get there from Porthaven. If you arrived in Tildos, simply take either the train or road to Delmars, and head through the Strait tunnel, which connects the two cities under the Barret Strait. If travelling to Newland by train, from Porthaven take the train to Dropshort, then change for Newland. From Sheppardton, it is a long journey north and then along the coast, and the journey is usually quicker by road, as it is more direct. Once again, while there are no public buses available, privately-owned coach lines do operate the route. See the next chapter for things to do along the way. If you don’t have the time, regional flights are available to Newland, including by sea-plane, from various places across the country.

Newland has its own underground system. There is no easily describable layout, but the network has six lines which intersect with each other at regular points. Network maps are posted at each station and on each train, so visitors should not have any trouble finding their way. Network maps are also available online or in print form from at some stations. Intercity connections are to Dropshort and Delmars, as well as to points west and to Fairweather via ferry.
There are no trams, but regular bus services do cover most of the city. Tourists should look out for the red buses: these stop specifically at places of interest to visitors.

Things to See
Right in the heart of the city is a modern building of striking design. Based on the concept of a cube, tipped on to one corner, the Newland Centre for Art and Design is a gallery dedicated to the work of up-and-coming designers, both local and international. The collection includes work from the fields of painting, sculpture, pottery, furniture design, fashion, multimedia, and more. The centre is open from 9am to 9pm every day, and tickets cost just Ŧ6 for an adult, and Ŧ2.50 for a child/concession. The building forms part of the cultural centre of the city, a fountained plaza which borders the Newland Centre as well as the State Library of West Barunia and the Newland Museum.

Sadly, one of the reasons why much of Newland is so modern, is that a lot of the city was damaged or destroyed during the civil war. Remnants of the war can still be seen in some parts of the city, and several tour operators offer guided tours of these and other significant sites. Check online or ask at a tourist office for more information. To explore more of the history of the Barunian Civil War, go to the Civil War History Museum. Located in West Newland, the museum has a huge collection of artefacts, including a tank and other vehicles. Interactive displays and experienced staff will help you unlock the complexities of this dark period in Barunia’s history. You can also head to the harbour, where there is a monument to those lost in the war. In the harbour you might also spot the remains of some of the fleet that was sunk here.

If you want something different, head inland a little. Just outside Newland is Grange Hill Secure Hospital. For over a century the facility has catered to those convicted of crime, who cannot be imprisoned for health issues. Behind the current facility is the old building, formerly known as the Grange Hill Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Three times a week, parts of the old building are opened to the public for guided tours. Many of the rooms are said to be haunted, and if you are game, there is a midnight tour on Friday nights. Tickets for this unique and terrifying experience are Ŧ49.95 for the ordinary tour, and Ŧ89.95 for the midnight tour.

There is also a casino in Blackrock, Newland’s nightlife district. Then there’s Little China, where you’ll be transported to the far east. Take a walk inland along the Newland River, and get in touch with nature as you hike along the trails through Cassidy National Park. You can take a day hike, or start along Bushman’s trail and head deep into the Barunian wilderness on a week long expedition.

Eating Out
The place for fine dining in Newland is the Waterfront. There are plenty of ocean-side establishments, but one notable standout is SS Laguna. This restaurant is not actually on the waterfront at all, but on the water itself and the floating restaurant is one of the most sought-after dining experiences in Barunia. As always, would be hikers should be prepared, and inform someone of their travel plans before heading out into the wilderness.

Blackrock is the night-life centre in Newland, and there is plenty to eat and drink here, especially around the casino and stadium. If you feel like Chinese, head to Little China for authentic Asian cuisine.

[Mercedini]

81st World Cup Qualification
First Half Review
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Hello and welcome back to World Cup Qualification where Mercedini will round off their qualification against the biggest daddy of them all Vilita. Both teams are unbeaten and currently hold the top two records in all of qualifying, with Mercedini becoming the first goal to notch up forty goals, while Vilita remain in single digits in their goals against column. One of these teams at least will lose their 100% record in qualifying, while the other will most likely hold the best record for the first half of qualifying. it is likely that both could qualify directly if both teams keep up their imperious run of form they have been having, although from a Mercedinian point of view, they would want to maintain their eight point margin between themselves in third place, especially with a rampant Tobiasia side beginning to gain momentum in this second quarter of qualification. So, let's see if Mercedini could break their three match record of having never got a point against Vilita, this match coming from the monumental Lonngeylin Coliseum.

World Cup Qualification: Close But No Cigar

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FINAL SCORE

WCQ | MD9

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VILITA 2
Tzufarei 58', 80'
MERCEDINI 0

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Lonngeylin, Vilita
Attendance - 108,382

Mercedini fell just short of their quarter-centry win streak as Vilita once again proved too much for the Golden Eagles. This time ranked sixth in the world, a Tzufarei double was the difference between the two sides inside a packed stadium, with both sets of fans knowing how much this match meant in terms of qualifying for their World Cup Qualification chances and those underneath them hoping for a slip up from of the teams at the top. As mentioned previously, both teams were vying for the best record in the first half of qualifying, with bth tems almost guaranteed of either first place in the group, or an automatic spot from the table of second placed teams. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be as Mercedini struggled against a top ten side once again to lose their final game of the first half, to give Vilita a de-facto trump card with that win both in terms of points and in terms of head to head rankings if both teams are tied at the end of the entirety of the group stages. It could be a win that is worth its weight in gold come the end of the qualification cycle, especially with Mercedini hosting the final match to qualification against Vilita, likely chasing a win by two goals or more. For Dini, it's the first time they have been shut out of a match in this cycle, with Vilita doing well to isolate Chillotov and Dostalok upfield. The loss means Mercedini start the second half in second place, five points ahead of a resurgent Tobiasia side, and in prime position to earn at least a playoff spot, as they lead the way in terms of the second-placed teams. So, let's see what that means for the table and for the national team going forward.

.  Group 13                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts   H    A     
 1 Vilita                            9    9   0   0    37    6  +31    27   -   0-2
 2 Mercedini                         9    8   0   1    41   12  +29    24
 3 Tobiasia                          9    6   1   2    30   20  +10    19  7-1   -
 4 Kernovi and Rewgwlas              9    5   1   3    18   22   −4    16  5-2   -
 5 Oberour Ar Moro                   9    4   1   4    22   26   −4    13   -   8-2
 6 Rannoria                          9    3   2   4    16   22   −6    11   -   4-0
 7 Anthor                            9    3   2   4    20   22   −2    11  6-1   -
 8 Vithuland                         9    2   1   6     8   17   −9     7   -   3-0
 9 Kilaguni                          9    1   0   8     9   26  −17     3  4-2   -
10 Swibia                            9    0   0   9     6   34  −28     0   -   4-2

As you can see, some rather emphatic results on the board there for Mercedini, winning two matches my six goals (a joint record) and scoring eight in a single game, away as Oberour Ar Moro (a new record aswell). It has been a seriously impressive cycle from the Golden Eagles given their pot ranking, although with the attacking prowess that they have, it seems evident that the young guns would have matured enough to deliver clinical performances day in, day out. The highlight of the schedule has to be the 7-1 thumping at home against qualification rivals Tobiasia to mark off an eye-catching run of form for the Golden Eagles. Squad depth is also another thing which has impressed many of the fans who have travelled far and wide, with the so-called second side preforming well against unraked or low-ranked teams, cranking out a 3-0 and two 4-2 wins to keep the points coming while giving some of their more potent players a rest. Mercedini will have to go away to their closest rivals in third and fourth, which could give the advantage to their rivals if Mercedini feel the pressure of the home crowd. Swibia and Kilaguni could face elimination if they lose while Mercedini and Vilita both win. It could be crunch time for the teams at the bottom with the teams at the top in such imperious form.

    World Cup 81 Qualifying                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
  1  Mercedini                            9    8   0   1    41   12  +29    24    2nd in Qualifying Group 13
  2  Drawkland                            9    8   0   1    30    7  +23    24    2nd in Qualifying Group 3
  3  Eshan                                9    8   0   1    31    9  +22    24    2nd in Qualifying Group 12
  4  Darmen                               9    8   0   1    26   11  +15    24    2nd in Qualifying Group 17
  5  Ko-oren                              9    8   0   1    15    3  +12    24    2nd in Qualifying Group 18

Mercedini's second placed ranking places them into a second bracket to see who also directly qualifies for the World Cup, and who has to enter a two-legged playoff to snatch the final places in the thirty-two nation World Cup hosted by Banija and the Free Republics. Mercedini have already began their second half run with a narrow 1-0 home victory against Rannoria to keep them within touching distance of Vilita and to keep Tobiasia away at arm's length, the margin remains at five points with eight matches remaining, with Tobiasia needing at least to matched to make up that deficit. Their match in Tobiasia could be the final frontier for a late green and white run to the top two, as it is unlikely that Mercedini and Tobiasia will lose major points to lower ranked opposition.

In the rankings of second placed teams, it is extremely tight with all of the top five having only lost a single game and sit on twenty four points, with Mercedini taking a rather sizable lead, with the Golden Eagles six goals clear of second placed Drawkland, and fourteen goals clear of fourth placed Darmen (given the top three qualify automatically). With the run of form that all of those teams have been on, if any team makes a clean run from now till the end, they could lock down an auto-qualifying spot if the top spot in their group is out of reach. Likewise, if a team unexpectedly gets held to a draw and gets shocked by a lower ranked team, it could spell trouble for their position in their qualification group and their points tally, which could be crucial with plenty of results coming in thick and fast for all teams.

This could be one of Mercedini's biggest opportunities to qualify for the World Cup given their excellent thread of results and teams in other groups taking points off each other. They do hold two trophies and will have one eye on the Cup of Champion's which they have been invited to due to their champion status of both the Cup of Harmony and the Independent's Cup. Analysts will be having a field day with all of the results and how that effects the group tables and the table of group runners-up. Mercedini may have to focus on locking down an auto-qual spot in second place as Vilita look to go on a perfect run from now till the end of qualifying. Eight matches to go, the margins continue to close in on the 190 teams in contention. That's all from us in Zoloroni as the team prepare to take on Kernovi in the second match of the second half, we hope you have a great night.

[Adab]

KickTheBall.com
Bringing you the latest news and rumors in football, in Adab and abroad

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Brittany Normandy Aquitaine 0-2 Adab
Yargab (34'), Zambiya (56')

NEWS | WORLD CUP
By: Elymur Amwan

Adab back to winning ways with 0-2 triumph over Brittany Normandy Aquitaine

Adab national football team manager Saad Kaykali, who had missed the country's previous three World Cup qualification matches due to "family business", was back in the dugout as his team achieved a satisfactory, if unspectacular, 0-2 victory over Brittany Normandy Aquitaine to keep the country's hopes of qualifying from Group 5 alive.

Adab entered the match in fourth place following its 1-3 victory over Andwell. It came out in third place, just two points below second-placed Audioslavia and four below group leader Starblaydia. Brittany Normandy Aquitaine and Andwell have so far failed to win a single group match and at this point are highly unlikely to qualify. Brittany Normandy Aquitaine currently sits at the bottom of the group, edged out by Andwell on goal difference.

Kaykali's men were heavy favorites entering the match, and during the entire match there was never any likelihood that their opponents would seriously endanger them. Though Brittany Normandy Aquitaine opened the match with the ball, it was quickly wrested away from them by the Adabians, who proceeded to spend the rest of the match dictating the play and forcing their opponents to chase them around the pitch.

As usual, Adab played in an attacking 4-3-2-1 formation, relying on the sensational Enlilbani Yargab to put the ball past the opposition goalkeeper. It was soon noted, however, that the team seemed to be playing more carefully and in a slower pace than usual, spending much of the first half testing Brittany Normandy Aquitaine's defense but barely making any concerted effort to actually score.

The team only really got going after thirty minutes, when they appeared to let the opponent strike deep into their midfield, only to then outmaneuver their players and launch a strong counterattack. Yargab delivered on the expectations heaped on him, getting past Brittany Normandy Aquitaine's defenders along with wingers Shamsuiluna Zambiya and Adanirari Uhwan in the 34th minute and sent the ball wheezing just above the opposition keeper's hand and into the top-right corner of the net.

After this strong show of aggression, the match once again settled into a more leisurely pace for the rest of the first half, though the Adabians left no doubt as to who were controlling the flow of play, dominating possession the entire time (and, indeed, the entire match).

The Adabians started the second half with the ball, and they did not let this opportunity go to waste, barely letting the opposition players touch the ball and outrunning them whenever they were about to pose a threat. Zambiya's turn to shine came in the 56th minute with another tidy, coordinated counterattack. As Yargab rushed towards the penalty area, he turned and passed the ball to Zambiya just behind and to his right. This was enough to catch the opponent's last line of defense off-guard, and they could not do anything but watch as Zambiya fired the ball right into the net.

With Adab now leading 0-2, Kaykali decided that this was more than enough and directed his players to focus more on the defense and possession of the ball. The Adabian players did not launch another serious effort to increase their lead for the rest of the match, but they could take satisfaction in a match well played and the fact that their opponents never came close to endangering their goal.

Kaykali on assistant manager: 'His heart is in the right place'

Kaykali's three-match absence from the dugout was infamously marred by assistant manager Inimabakesh Thulus' behavior during the match against Starblaydia, where he criticized the latter's pre-game performance of their war dance and blasted their players as "liars" and "incompetents", earning himself expulsion to the stands.

Thulus was absent from the next match against Andwell - coach Yitzhak Bennett had temporarily assumed managerial duties - and likewise did not attend today's match. It is understood that Kaykali and representatives of the Football Association had privately talked to Thulus about his behavior and that a punishment is being considered, though he will retain his job as assistant manager.

Asked about Thulus at the post-match press conference, Kaykali stated, "His heart is in the right place, I believe that."

"That's what makes him a great player, a great coach, and now a great assistant manager. It's the passion," he continued. "Yes, sometimes he does tend to go overboard with his enthusiasm, such as in the Starblaydia match, but I think he's got some legitimate points on that. The players and I stand by him and urge our fans to do the same."

See also:
What will happen to Inimabakesh Thulus now?
Starblaydia and Audioslavia: a tale of two giants
FA President: We are considering every possible option for Thulus

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

Once again, I'm feeling quite in the mood for a football flashback. But I'm also in quite a bit of a naughty mood so what I'm going to do is flash back to not just one game but an entire set of them. Not an entire 38-game season, per se, but I'm going to look back at the games which resulted in Xemlice Rovers blowing quite possibly their best ever chance to win the Fleftic Premier League in recent history. I mean, it was just so astounding how Xemlice absolutely dropped the ball on winning the league and allowed Arsenal de Releinthi to sneak in from behind and complete their unexpected title defense. It's simply fucked up. They really fucked it up. Let's just delve into the story of How Xemlice Rovers Lost the Premier League Title in 2025 in some detail, shall we?

How Xemlice Rovers Lost the Premier League Title in 2025: Part One

WANDA ISLAND WANDERERS 2 - 1 XEMLICE ROVERS
         OSOMOAI (29')       HERNANDEZ (31')
          OSWALD (49')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Wanda Island Wanderers: 51%
Xemlice Rovers: 49%
Shots
Wanda Island Wanderers: 12 (6 on target)
Xemlice Rovers: 11 (5 on target)
Corners
Wanda Island Wanderers: 6
Xemlice Rovers: 7
Fouls
Wanda Island Wanderers: 18
Xemlice Rovers: 14

We arrive at our first stop in the journey of how Xemlice Rovers lost the 2025 Premier League title. But before we get off here, let's first take a look at the background. Xemlice didn't have the best start to the 2024-25 Premier League season, losing two consecutive games against Rosenpfelblatz City and Sporting Ceneisis before they got a good run of wins under their belt, starting with a win, ironically, against Arsenal de Releinthi. (Am I using "ironically" here correctly? Boy, I do hope I am.) That win against the Gunners started off a run of six consecutive wins which allowed Xemlice to go to the top of the Premier League table and then stay there for the most part until the halfway point of the season, when the Rovers were trashed 4-1 by Marinos Thimpodopoulos to allow Arsenal to take the lead after their 3-3 draw against Admiral Porcusces. Xemlice regained top spot with their 2-1 victory against Bananas, and they even managed to build up a seven-point gap between them and their nearest pursuers at the time, Sporting Ceneisis, but that gap was erased after Xemlice managed to earn only one point out of a possible nine between matchdays 31 and 34, thus setting one of the most improbable title victories in Premier League history.

But on to the games themselves. The first game we will be examining is the MD37 game between Wanda Island Wanderers and Xemlice. As the early Saturday kickoff, Xemlice knew that a victory at the IKEA Arena would ensure that they would stay at the top of the league coming into the final matchday. The Wanderers knew that they had been eliminated from the title race long ago but their rivals in Releinthi still had a chance to pip the title from their guests, so I guess the people at Wanda Island were probably torn between two minds: should they allow themselves to get beaten so that Arsenal de Releinthi wouldn't be able to win the FPL, or should they still go for the three points and hope that Arsenal mess it up? I guess we'll never really know, but what we do know is the final result from that game as well as a few key events that happened in there. Paul Osomoai opened the scoring for the Wanderers in the 29th minute after a through-ball from Dane Lansforde played him through and past Xemlice's offside trap, but Alfonso Hernandez equalized for Xemlice almost straight from the kickoff, playing a one-two with Hector Moruza before finally picking out the bottom left corner of the net to restore Xemlice's honor.

However, things would turn to hell in a handbasket four minutes into the second half thanks to Leigh Oswald, the former Euran Oceanian Territories (EOT) international striker who has been in and out of this Wanda Island team for reasons that even I in my unlimited footballing wisdom cannot fathom (that was sarcasm, by the way; I'm no footballing god). This game was one of the games in which Oswald appeared to be in favor, and his thunderous strike from outside the box after fending off both Paul Riso and Demyan Kravchenko seemed to show us just why exactly he should remain in contention. Oswald's goal meant that he got to stay on the pitch for a grand total of 75 minutes that day but no matter. Wanda Island won that day, and we have taken our first step into the story of how Xemlice Rovers lost the Premier League title in 2025.

How Xemlice Rovers Lost the Premier League Title in 2025: Part Two

ARSENAL DE RELEINTHI 4 - 1 PAULSEN
      PIMENTEL (10')       HEMPSTEAD (46')
       TIRYAKI (23')
         CROSS (50')
        NEWMAN (53')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Arsenal de Releinthi: 60%
Paulsen: 40%
Shots
Arsenal de Releinthi: 22 (10 on target)
Paulsen: 10 (4 on target)
Corners
Arsenal de Releinthi: 11
Paulsen: 6
Fouls
Arsenal de Releinthi: 20
Paulsen: 20

Our next stop is Arsenal de Releinthi's game against Paulsen. At this point in time, it could be said that Paulsen have managed to retain their Premier League status for yet another season long before they made the trip to Releinthi to face the defending champions, so it could be argued that Paulsen's players were already thinking ahead to their vacation and offseason before they have to do it all again next season. Arsenal de Releinthi, meanwhile, are still trying to chase the Premier League title, and after seeing Xemlice's slip-up against Wanda Island last Saturday, the Gunners were rightly and properly motivated to have a go at the title yet again. And Jake Pimentel didn't pass up the opportunity, chipping the ball over Arcadius Masters to open the scoring in just the 10th minute. It wouldn't get any better for either Paulsen or Xemlice. Selim Tiryaki doubled Arsenal's advantage to give the Gunners a 2-0 lead coming into half-time, and although Aron Hempstead appeared to have made it game on by scoring almost right from the second half kickoff, Billy Cross restored Arsenal's two-goal advantage just four minutes after Hempstead's goal, and then Will Newman added a fourth for the Gunners three minutes later. There were no more goals after that in the game, but at the end of it all, Arsenal de Releinthi had gotten themselves three points and top spot in the Fleftic Premier League.

How Xemlice Rovers Lost the Premier League Title in 2025: Part Three

█XEMLICE ROVERS 2 - 0 MARINOS THIMPODOPOULOS
HERNANDEZ (30')
  WHEELER (69')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Xemlice Rovers: 55%
Marinos Thimpodopoulos: 45%
Shots
Xemlice Rovers: 12 (6 on target)
Marinos Thimpodopoulos: 8 (4 on target)
Corners
Xemlice Rovers: 9
Marinos Thimpodopoulos: 8
Fouls
Xemlice Rovers: 22
Marinos Thimpodopoulos: 13

To the third stop in our journey to examine how Xemlice Rovers lost the Premier League in 2025 then, and we are back at Oubie Park, the home ground of the team in question. As this was the final matchday of the Premier League season, all games were being played simultaneously, 3 PM on a bright and clear Sunday afternoon (at least it was bright and clear over here in Markovsky; I can't say about the other cities). Daisuke Ogigayatsu scored the first goal of the weekend for the Foresters on our way to a 2-1 victory over Rosenpfelblatz City, but we're not here to talk about that, darling. We're here to talk about Xemlice Rovers losing the Premier League title in arguably the most spectacular fashion possible, and that's what we're going to do right now.

There were moments in the beginning of this particular game where Xemlice appeared as if they might get their asses handed to them. Remember, they were up against the team that had beat them 4-1 at Arena Marinos over in Port Thimpodopoulos. Marinos appeared as if they had the upper hand in this contest, and Rex Dithers, Mafana Kasayogi, and Hannes Schaepdryver all had chances to open the scoring for the Mariners, but they just couldn't take their chances, and Xemlice would make them pay for it. Alfonso Hernandez would be the one to draw first blood as his looping shot from the wing curled its way into the top left corner, and try as they might, Marinos just couldn't find that all-important finishing touch. That seemed to have gone to Xemlice, and Corey Wheeler finished off the Mariners with a stinging strike of his own that most probably left scorch marks on young Orestes Katsouranis III's gloves, and maybe some skid marks in his shorts as well. So Xemlice won their final game of the Premier League season, while their closest title rivals Arsenal de Releinthi were still playing at Filibusters' Street, and as of the last progress report, the Gunners were losing to the Foxes. Let's see how that game went.

How Xemlice Rovers Lost the Premier League Title in 2025: Part Four

ADMIRAL PORCUSCES 2 - 3 ARSENAL DE RELEINTHI
     OYENUSI (7')       NEWMAN (80')
 ICHIKIGAWA (34')       MIHAILOVIC (89')
                        DOMINGUEZ (90+5')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Admiral Porcusces: 51%
Arsenal de Releinthi: 49%
Shots
Admiral Porcusces: 13 (7 on target)
Arsenal de Releinthi: 15 (7 on target)
Corners
Admiral Porcusces: 6
Arsenal de Releinthi: 5
Fouls
Admiral Porcusces: 20
Arsenal de Releinthi: 22

Now this was a right cracker of a game! It had just about a little bit of everything: fouls, yellow cards, a sending-off, a handball, a penalty, a penalty miss, offsides, a few punches and elbows here and there, and even pitch invaders! It really was a game for the masses, as well as being a game for the ages. And it almost didn't fall in place for the Gunners. Stephen Oyenusi opened the scoring in the 7th minute with a powerful header from Imari Lefisse's corner kick, and then as Arsenal struggled to get back into the game, Haruki Ichikigawa, formerly of Riuwiee United and starting in place of the not-match-fit Tristan Lee, doubled the Foxes' advantage, and Admiral Porcusces looked set to spoil the party for Arsenal de Releinthi and deny them their second title in as many years.

The signs were pointing toward Xemlice Rovers' first ever Premier League title since the foundation of the Fleftic Premier League, when they won the first ever title in the new league. Arsenal de Releinthi looked overpowered and confused all over the pitch. They most definitely didn't look like they could possibly claw their way back into the game. But Emilio Caravaggio made changes to his team and tactics, and in the 80th minute, the effects of these changes finally became visible through Will Newman's curler of a goal. But that was with only ten minutes or so left in the game. Surely Arsenal couldn't score two goals in that time?

But it is possible. We don't normally associate Arsenal de Releinthi with the term "comeback kings" but on this one afternoon, the Gunners were the comeback kings, no doubt. Out-of-favor winger Zar Mihailovic made only his tenth substitute appearance for the Gunners and he made the most out of it even as he had confirmed his move to Dinamo Bender in the Pridnestrovian Super League for the next season, slicing his way through Admiral's defense before shooting the ball into the roof of the net. Arsenal de Releinthi were now on top of the table on goal difference, but Gunners fans weren't going to be satisfied with winning the title just on goal difference. They wanted to win the game and the title, and that was what they would get. Jake Pimentel's sending off in the second half had eaten up some time so the referee gave six minutes of added time. In that added time, Ralph Dominguez, who was already a cult icon for the Gunners, cemented his status even further with a cheeky backheel goal in the fifth minute of added time to put the cherry on the cake and hand the Fleftic Premier League title to Releinthi for the second season running by a single point.

That's all for me right now, folks. It's been a very exhausting ride, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of my followers who are Xemlice Rovers fans would not have enjoyed this trip down memory lane one bit. But I don't mind. I enjoyed it. XOXO from Graham...

[Saint Emelie]

La Poste D'Émelie

What to Do With Yourself During the Halfway Break

Nine matches of the World Cup Qualifying period have been played and Saint Émelie are going well. Amélie Martín's team are fourth in their group and within 5 points of a playoff place with another nine to go.
You've read all the match reports that have dribbled through from abroad, you don't really have much to moan about as we're actually doing alright and you've already discussed everything there is to discuss about Saint Émelie and the other teams during a few nights in your favourite beachside bar.

You're probably wandering what to do with yourself over the next week or so before things get going again, but don't panic as we've got a few suggestions of what to do to keep yourself busy.

1: Cook some fish

To celebrate the start of the annual prawn-fishing season, a huge festival of cooking is taking place at the market in Port D'Émelie. Many of the bars from around the area will have a stall and you can buy your fish before getting it expertly and deliciouly cooked in a variety of different styles. Some stalls will even run sessions where you yourself can cook the specimen you purchased earier, learning the many different techniques around and also ending up with lunch.

2: Sauter des Pontons

It's the annual pontoon-jumping championships (locally known as Sauter-Ponton) this weekend, so get yourself down to Le Goutiér to see some more quality sporting action. The events take place around the harbour in the small beachside town and are a thrilling watch.

The showpiece event is the bunch race, where an entire field of competitors bundle around a course, leaping between pontoons and negotiating obstacles. There are no penalties for failing to overcome obstacles or falling short of a pontoon as the time spent swimming around in the harbour acts as a significant time penalty. Think Total-Wipeout, but everyone goes round at the same time. Knocking other competitors off pontoons and obstacles is also totally permitted, much to the delight of the watching crowds.

Other events will include L'Écart Grand, a single jump across a gap between two pontoons. The gap is gradually widened as the competition progresses until only one athlete remains. Each competitor is allowed three attempts at making the jump before they are eliminated.

Le Saut á la Perche is the other main event. This is similar to L'Écart Grand, but uses an even wider gap which athletes must get across with the aid of a pole. One can choose to dig in to the harbour floor, similarly to the pole vault in athletics, or jump onto a pre-standing pole, scale it and then flop onto the opposite pontoon. Both techniques are contested separately.

Get yourself down there, you won't forget it.


3: Get Printy

If art is more your thing, then the other side of the island is the place to go. The town of Savenay is well-known for its numerous traditional art galleries, but with the recent introduction of the 'camera' to the island, a new form of art is being pioneered this weekend.
Top local photographers are showing off their images not on the digital screen, but on canvas this weekend. Many will be available for purchase and for a fee, you can get your own images printed in a similar style. It will be vibrant, it will be beautiful and it will be groundbreaking (by island standards anywhere)

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Of course all of this is only a temporary solution. After the break, the football will be back and we can all devote ourselves to 9 matches of unrelenting stress as Saint Émelie continue their debut qualifying campaign.

[Audioslavia]

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 6.5

It took three weeks for the result of the decision to come through. ‘No’ was the general gist of it.
No, the Cathair City Guard would not pay for Constable Betsy Aarden to travel to Emberton.
No, the CCG would not allow Betsy so travel there in any official capacity whatsoever.
No, the higher-ups at the CCG would not let D.I. Rory Wyatt-Holmes on office time.
The only ‘yes’ that had been given had been to Rory. Yes, Rory could use some of his remaining holiday time to have a long weekend in Krytenia, if he so wished. Betsy, as a regular plainclothes copper, had to work. It was this fact that made her aim a light kick at her locker on Friday evening, seconds after Rory had left the station on his way to Puerta Cruz Airport. It didn’t help that Rory had promised to keep in touch and give her a report at the end of the meeting with Rami. As far as she was concerned, this was her case as much as Rory’s, regardless of rank or job description. She should be there.

As she drove home after the Friday 2-til-10 shift, she remembered the strange phone call they’d had three weeks previously. Rory’s face reddening. The first time she’d seen the inspector become flustered. He’d simply muttered ‘I’m going to kill my parents one day, I swear, I don’t care that they’re dead, they both have to die’ while holding the phone out in front of himself. Betsy had taken over. Niblick had come round fairly quickly and agreed to the idea of one of them arriving into his office as medium-to-shortish notice over the next month. Niblick, clearly intrigued, had tried to push for more information but Rory had insisted on witholding it. It wouldn’t pay to give the man a week’s chance to do his own research first.

She remembered the subsequent conversation in the pub after work.
“Why don’t you just change your name, if you’re sick of the jokes?” Betsy had said. Rory had started shaking his head after the word ‘just’.
“It’s my name and I’m sticking to it”
“It wouldn’t hurt just to go by ‘Wyatt’ would it?”
“It’d hurt my poor dead father” Rory had said. “Sherlock would roll in his grave”
“Your father was…”
“I’m kidding. Holmes was my mother’s name. Her first name was Agatha”
“Agatha”
“Aye”
“Your mum’s name was Agatha Holmes? What’s your dad called, Hercule Taggart? Rebus Marple? Fuckin’ Batman Tin Tin?”
“She was a bank clerk. It’s a coincidence”
“It’s a coincidence that you’re ‘the guy’ in the force for detective work and your mum shares a name with not only the world’s most famous crime writer, but the world’s most famous fictional detective”
“Yes. My dad’s name is Wyatt. No crime connections th…”
“Fucking Wyatt Earp world famous lawman in the Wild West, numbnuts![/I]” Betsy had guffawed into her pint. “What’s his first name?”
Rory opened his mouth as if to speak, blinked, and then looked down at his table.
“Fuck sake” he muttered, under his breath. Betsy’s features slowly morphed into the sort of enormous smile usually reserved for Disney princesses upon seeing a handsome white man climb through their window.
“Whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit”
“Clint” said Rory.
“You’re a fuckin’ comic book character you… you’re a hard drinking… yeah look at you with your whisky while I’m here supping on a lager and lime like some sort of prat. Hard-drinking sarcastic detective who just won’t let the case go unless he’s satisfied. Mummy’s named after the 20th century’s greatest detective and daddy’s named after Clint Eastwood and Wyatt Earp.”
“Come on…”
“Only” started Betsy, gulping between bouts of belly-laughter, “only when you put your name together, D.I. Wyatt-Holmes it sounds like you’re explaining why mainstream hardware stores exist. D.I.Y. at homes. The guy in the Supreme Court did the same thing, aye?
“Aye” said Rory. “Still. It’s my name”
“I’d change it”
“To what?”
“Findy McBeardface” said Betsy, before giggling herself into a stupor once again.
“Can’t take you anywhere, can I?” Observed Rory. Betsy shook her head quickly without ceasing her laughter.

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL MAGAZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
GEGENPRESSING SINCE 2006

Written in the stars
A look back at Kelssek's first international

As the men’s national football team looks to reestablish a legacy, it’s worth looking back at where it all began. There were a number of early efforts to launch a multiverse-wide Olympic Games which ran out of budget not even halfway through. The Kaza Olympics, held in the capital of Kaze Progressa, was the one which managed to get the furthest off the ground, although the world would be waiting several more years for Ashford Olympics, which by virtue of making it to the closing ceremony set a standard for all to follow.

It was at this Olympic tournament, contested as a series of elimination matches, that Kelssek stunned the footballing world by knocking out Starblaydia on penalties in the first round. The match was not one for the purists with neither side able to keep the errors out of their game. It finished 0-0 after 90 minutes. Maurice Beauvais had been stellar in the Kelssek goal, and while Kelssek enjoyed good spells they weren’t able to seriously test Starblaydia’s goalkeeper Markus Cragg.

All finally seemed like it was going as it should have been when Jakkinho volleyed in a screamer four minutes into extra time to put Starblaydia ahead. Kelssek were supposed to succumb to their fate at this point, but they kept going for an equalizer. They were rewarded when a defensive miscommunication saw Markus Cragg and defender Paulo Bachchan collide while clearing a cross. The ball skittered clear but straight to Laurent Dubois, who had time to measure a shot past the scrambling defenders from 30 metres out.

That set up a nerve-racking penalty shootout where Kelssek’s players did well to hold their nerve in the situation. And so did the Starblaydians. Goal after goal went in but just when it seemed it would just keep going, Ceri Salisbury missed the crucial fifth penalty to hand Kelssek the 5-4 shootout victory.

Although Kelssek was playing a senior team and Starblaydia its under-21 side, the advantage was clearly with the Starblaydis. While the Kelssek Football League was fully professional, many players held second jobs in the off-season to pay the bills. The national team’s stipend was much sought-after simply because it promised those who made the squad enough money to focus on the sport full time. The development system was haphazard (some would snarkily opine little has changed there) and largely based on graduating university players just giving it a go. Certainly the youth academies of the top KFL clubs were a long way off.

The first World Cup championship star had yet to be added to the Starblaydi Football Association crest but they were, as they still are, a perennial World Cup favourite. Many of the young players in that squad were budding stars already earning starts in one of the world’s premier professional leagues. Twenty-two-year old Roberto Di Bradini had just completed a £20 million transfer to PARANOiA UNiTED. All would have had years of training steeped in a culture of footballing excellence. Moreover, its three overage players were among the sport’s leading global stars: Karl Robertson, Ceri Salisbury, and the legendary Simeone Di Bradini. Finally, although this would be 48 years later, it was in the end Starblaydia who won the men’s gold medal at the first completed Olympic tournament in Ashford, Casari.

The one crucial thing working to Kelssek’s advantage was that they had no idea what they were up against. It’s often said that the aura around big teams can get into the heads of their opponents, who end up playing too cautiously. Knowing little of their opponents’ reputation, they played with little regard for the illustrious Starblaydi shirt, even managing to pin them back a few times.

Bojan Petrovic, the team’s general manager at the time, says that while this narrative is an exaggeration, it’s not far from the truth.

“Of course, we had done scouting and spoken to contacts and gotten tapes of World Cup matches. We knew that those two players especially, Simeone Di Bradini and Ceri Salisbury, were going to be influential. But what you don’t get from watching a tape is how big of a name those guys were, and how big of a name Starblaydia is, in world football. That, we had no clue.”

“It was simply a different era. These days fans are streaming twenty different leagues at the same time, you point a satellite dish another way and you’ve got twenty more countries’ football leagues to watch. Not back then. We got the World Cup on NSN and that was a big deal. We didn’t have people across the world tossing football banter on forums 24/7. Even for me, a major source of info was the Corner Flag magazine I’d get from the newsstand.”

Peter Hartraft, who wore the captain’s armband in that match, remembers being surprised at the congratulatory e-mails and letters the team received from football fans around the world.

“We had known Starblaydia were a strong side. We knew we had pulled off an upset, but we didn’t really understand just how big an upset we’d pulled off.”

“We didn’t know we were simply supposed to get shelled. They did get a lot more chances, but the possession stats were pretty close, we had a lot of the ball and we tried to create gaps. I remember thinking, wow, it’s hard to find that pass against this defence.”

Starblaydia enjoyed a 56%-44% possession advantage in that match, but Hartraft’s memory isn’t too far from that mark.

“They were getting frustrated in the second half, I think, because suddenly we were having these through balls being hammered at us from 50 yards away.”

Dr. Patricia Fillon, associate professor in the Department of Cultural Studies at the University of Kirkenes and a specialist on the role of sport in society, also notes the evolution in the sports Kelssekians watch and play.

“Although sports in this country have always had a relatively large cultural role, Kelssek was also very parochial in its outlook at the time. Hockey dominated all the media coverage, but even then we didn’t bother to form a national team and contest the Aglukark-Cherry Cup – then the world’s premier hockey tournament – until fairly late.”

“Professional soccer was a marginal presence, and while people probably at least knew the World Cup existed, international soccer had at most a niche following at the time. The mass audience in Kelssek was simply not plugged in to the wider international football culture.”

The media reaction in Starblaydia was borderline apoplectic. Some complained about the number of international tournaments the national team were being involved in. In particular, Roberto Di Bradini came under fire for the strange haircut he’d worn to the match, which he promptly shaved afterwards. His performance had some joking he’d been replaced with an impostor.

It was impossible to interview the Starbladyi players from that team, owing to time-space-mortality-realm discrepancies. But helpful historians at the Starblaydia FA noted that many of these players went on to form the core of the team that saw Starblaydia’s senior team establish itself as Atlantian Oceania’s dominant side, winning AOCAF 4, 7 and 8, as well as the Four Nations tournament. Roberto Di Bradini, Markus Cragg, and Jakkinho all went on to become national team regulars, with Jean-Pierre Durand gaining the captaincy to boot. Jerome Montefalcon, a future midfield stalwart, made 3 appearances in the World Cup finals before being the third inductee to Starblaydi football’s Hall of Fame. Ceri Salisbury, the tragic hero of this story, picked up 58 senior caps and established himself as one of the world’s top free-kick specialists before being murdered in mysterious circumstances. Geraint Adams would later manage Starblaydia. The fate of Simeone Di Bradini needs little further exposition.

On the Kelssek team that day, Laurent Dubois, Dennis Parker, Peter Hartraft, and Jean Despatie (who sat on the bench for those 120 minutes) were the only ones still in the national squad when Kelssek played its first WCC-sanctioned match. Hartraft scored a hat-trick in that Baptism of Fire 10 opener against Cesibia. Only Jean Despatie was left when Kelssek first qualified for World Cup 44.

Many of the other members of that day’s team took up different pursuits. Beauvais, Morris and Fletcher put their law degrees to work and started the Outineau firm by that name. Markus Bonk played two more seasons in the KFL and then went into professional wrestling, where he won four Great Western Extreme Championship heavyweight titles under the ring name of The Majestic Mervaldo. Derek Hoegh left football and found quantity surveying to be a more lucrative career. Alexandre Roche would be named KFL Player of the Year as part of Burnaby SC’s title-winning side four years later, and now owns a cabane à sucre 40 minutes west of Langlois.

Little more can be said about the Kaza tournament itself as didn’t make it any further than the Starblaydis did. There was no second round match or any kind of satisfying follow-up to this match. There were more famous moments to follow in Kelssekian soccer, such as a 2-2 draw with the defending World Cup champions on Ariddia’s home soil. There would also be signs of the oppressive hierarchy being restored, like the 6-0 pasting at the hands of Jeruselem under the Kirkenes Skydome roof during WC37 qualifying. But it was in Kaza with the help of a missed penalty kick that it all started.

KELSSEK 0-0 STARBLAYDIA (1-1 a.e.t, Kelssek wins 5-4 on pens.)
Kelssek (4-1-2-1): Maurice Beauvais, Kurt Jemmel, Markus Bonk (Alexandre Roche 109’), Ryan Lydman, Kyle Smitt, Connor Mulroney (Bruce Deegan 92’), Laurent Dubois, Dennis Parker, Derek Hoegh, Peter Hartraft [c], Miles Morris (Jack Fletcher 77’).
Starblaydia (4-4-2 diamond): Markus Cragg, Jamie Majeed, Paulo Bachchan, Vladimir Tsarev, Jean-Pierre Durand [c], Roberto Di Bradini (Geraint Adams 77’), Ceri Salisbury, Jerome Montefalcon (Daniel Scott 80’), Tetsuo Naoki, Simeone Di Bradini, Jakkinho.
Goal scorers: Jakkinho (STB) 94’, Dubois (KSK) 101’

[Ko-oren]

It's been a while!

The Ko-orenite national team made it back from South Covello safely. That last word wasn't even necessary, in between the political turmoil, the South Covellans have been excellent hosts and in no way reminds us of the country it once was. Acting president* Darian Clarke has even officially replied to our Foreign Ministry. He states that generally, South Covello's foreign policy will include a lot more diplomacy and a lot less military, and that diplomatic relations between South Covello and Ko-oren will be friendly no matter which president is elected in the upcoming elections. The nation has taken broad measures against some of the most egregious acts against humanity, and has even gone as far as to pass the SCPIA, making all government communications open to the public - a move that even the Ko-orenite government could learn from.

* it is unclear whether Darian Clarke is still acting president as we write this.

This is not the place for too much political discussion, you would almost forget that there was a hugely important football match going on. Unfortunately, the Dragonflies lost 1-0 at South Covello which means that the Green and Blue will remain second in the group for the foreseeable future - Flardania, Bostopia and Krytenia are too far behind to pose a threat to us in the next 2-3 match days.

After a short break, national team play resumed with the second legs to every match played so far. Ko-oren followed up a 0-1 away win at Star United States with a 4-1 home win: good offensive production, but more importantly, failure to keep a clean sheet. Still, at this point, scoring surplus goals isn't unnecessary, because if Ko-oren stays in second, we will probably rely on goal difference to either secure qualification directly or to get us a better seeding in the playoffs.

It's so weird to talk about playoffs again. It's been a while.

To pull us down from cloud nine (nine wins, baby!!), the strikes haven't ended. Lampshire and his friends went back into unavailability after the final whistle of the South Covello match, and that meant the 3-4-3 was back on the table. And again, it netted us three extra goals (at the cost of a goal conceded) versus the Star United States. Speaking of them, it's been our dubious honour to be the final nail in their coffin: with one perfect team in the group, the Star United States are among the first few teams to be eliminated from the World Cup. They are sitting on zero wins and zero draws. Good news is that Ko-oren has finally learned not to play down to the opposition's level and dropping points to minnows everywhere.

Now that there is a quiet set of matches coming up (Flardania and South Covello are our second-last and last match), Juliasterinthen has enough time to come up with a way to deal with the strike. Will he call up a different group of players? Will he and Lampshire get over their differences?

Maybe, Lampshire and his six co-strikers are looking for extra time to secure overseas contracts? Three Ko-orenite talents have recently signed with foreign clubs - Ko-orenite players are wanted again. That, too, has been a while.

Harper Casey and Linus Throgmorton, currently still playing with university teams in the development leagues, have announced a move to Kita-Hinode and their excellent youth system. It's a loss to domestic football, but it's a win for Ko-orenite football as a whole. More overseas contracts could be coming up very soon.

Meanwhile, the Dragonflies' performance and results have caught the eyes of the multiverse. As we'd already promised, the national team are finally back in the spotlight through eight straight wins and a tightly operating defence. That the woes behind the scenes aren't immediately visible to the neutral fans is fine, and leaves us with an opportunity to do even better in the future. The nation of Qusmo, whose national team prides itself on its defence, listed the multiverse's top defences and has Ko-oren in a joint fourth place, Mercedini has us as a potential runner up qualifier (as one of the three best runners up), and the Freeport Isles had a massive ranking of the entire field if it were one huge group - the Dragonflies are 17th. It's maybe a little early to say that we're back, but we're turning heads out there.

It feels good to be reckoned with again. It's been a while.

[Apox]

Goalkeeper
Centre Defender
Centre Defender
Right Defender
Left Defender

Apoxian All-Time XI - Defensive Midfielder

Matthias Sindelar
71 caps
7 sub caps
10 goals
5 assists
WC64 - WC69

Ahhh, to a fan favourite within Apox but not necessarily known outside of our fair lands. Matthias Sindelar is perhaps the main reason for the development of the traditionally Apoxian 4-1-3-2 system which was adopted in the mid 60s and persisted until recently with the team under the management of Luxulya St. Cleer. This was due to Sindelar's unique ability to be basically a top quality defender and creative midfielder simultaneously, so much so that incoming manager Magnus Fjelden immediately set him up as the defensive midfielder for the team when he arrived at the start of World Cup 67.

But let us go back to the beginning. Sindelar was something of a late bloomer in Apoxian football, developing at Wrexton F.C as a defender originally, but not looking particularly promising as a top quality player in that role, generally being a squad player in Wrexton up until he was 22. Aged 23, his career trajectory changes forever as manager Gundar Dunbarton at Wrexton started to play him in front of the defense in the "midfield pivot" role - which wasn't traditionally used in Apox at the time with most teams preferring a 4-4-2 or 3-4-3 formation.

Sindelar excelled in this role, with his vision allowing him to run the offensive game from the back of midfield, while he was the first line of defense and became incredibly good at stopping threats before they began. This caught the attention of the national selectors, and his first appearance was as a sub in qualifying for World Cup 64 against Silar, aged 25. Initially, he was employed in the centre of defense, as he was in his early Wrexton years, where he was solid but not spectacular. As a result, he was in and out of the side until Dravid Scott's short tenure as manager, playing in the defensive midfield role in a bizarre 3-1-4-2 field, with the relatively inexperienced Sindelar named captain. He performed admirably during this time, but the team struggled and it wasn't until World Cup 67 when the formation was settled as 4-1-3-2 that both Sindelar and the team performed their best - with Sindelar captaining the side to arguably their best World Cup performance - the fabled extra time Round of 16 loss to Polar Islandstates.

After the highes of World Cup 67, the ageing but still brilliant Sindelar continued on as captain, barely missing a game, but the team struggled a bit for the next two cups - failing to qualify for World Cup 68 and then going out in the group stages of the Apoxian co-hosted World Cup 69 - Sindelar getting the honour of being the first Apoxian captain to lead his side out at a World Cup. He retired internationally following on from the poor showing at World Cup 69, aged 35, and really deserving of more than his 71 caps.

Domestically, Sindelar had quite a chequered history, moving to FC Endeavour shortly after becoming established as a defensive midfielder - as they were getting established in the ANL after being reformed. With him in the side, they stayed up and the next season qualified for UICA. However, he was off on a big money move to Montfort Wanderers in The Licentian Isles - at the time an attractive proposition. However, he has later admitted that maybe it wasn't the right decision for him, as Montfort struggled to become a powerhouse in the Licentian league, with AFC Farnworth the dominant team there.

Eventually, the league folded and he returned to Apox. He initially considered a return to childhood club Wrexton F.C, but was pinched by their close rivals Barbury Town after an empassioned pitch to Sindelar by the manager at the time, Ken Rickwright. Sindelar bought into the project being constructed there, and was signed, aged 35 as their club captain. He had a remarkable three years with the club as they truly pressed for the title for the first time, becoming champions in Sindelar's final season with the club, an excellent turnaround from relegation candidates a few years earlier when Ken Rickwright first took the post.

He finished his career with a one year stint at Magnaeus City in the LigAnaia, back when LigAnaia were mad good and Magnaeus sat at the pinnacle of the UICA rankings. At 38, he was really just a squad figure/experienced mentor to the team, but he still enjoyed his final season as a pro footballer.

Following on from his retirement, he worked in a number of roles, doing part time punditry for APXSports, gaining his Level 2 coaching badges (Level 3 required to be an ANL manager) and even helped out on his brother-in-laws farm for a summer. Eventually though, his close friend Tolgus Tregajorran recommended he should run for a position as a government worker (GW) in Government House whilst they were drinking in Dwile. The thought stuck, and he was elected to Government House representing the Green Party shortly after. He has since been working his way up through the ranks and is now the deputy leader of the Green Party in Lorcan Oberhausen's Free-Green coalition government.

Honourable Mentions
Luxulya St. Cleer (61 caps, 6 sub caps, 11 goals, 11 assists, [WC70 - CE16 (WC74)])

[Tinhampton]

TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 2-0 Al-Mumtaz
Venue: Tin Park, Tinhampton, Tinhampton

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

• Tinhampton (4-1-3-2): 1. Josh SMITH (GK), 2. William POTTER, 3. Harry PORTER, 4. Jamie VALLEY, 5. Peter WRIGHT, 6. Michael YOUNG (↻ VATUNSKA 45'), 7. Ian JONES (C), 20. Reece FORD, 9. Fred BALL, 10. Priscilla EVANS (↻ WILLIAMSON 74'), 11. Ian GRAHAM
• Al-Mumtaz (4-2-2-2): 1. Orval RICKI, 2. Alden JAWDAT, 5. Safi JIANG, 6. Simon Abd AL-AZIZ, 7. Yakub KING, 9. Hank JAROGNIEW, 11. Arnie KSAWERY, 21. Tobin EDGAR (↻ ILKER 74'), 51. Ahmad KNOX, 10. Yoshiro SHOTA, 14. Koharu MITSUKO
  Unable to play: None

GOALS: Priscilla EVANS 45'00''+0'31'' (TIN - penalty), Priscilla EVANS 68'52'' (TIN).
CARDS: Yellow: Fred BALL 32'35'' (TIN), Ahmad KNOX 43'53'' (Al-Mumtaz), Harry PORTER 91'22'' (TIN). Red: Ahmad KNOX 67'34'' (Al-Mumtaz).
INJURIES: Michael YOUNG 44' (TIN) and out for three games.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Ian JONES (TIN) rendered himself unable to take the Tinhamptonian penalty.

---

Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 11: BE SCARED. BE ANGRY.
with apologies to Nicky Case and Jostein Gaarder

---

The sun rose again on the 11th of September, and of course Mayor Price opened his letterbox and checked his mail, because it was the morning and - like all good Tinhamptonian citizens - he needed to review his post. Inside was all the usual fare - "Ever imagined having the arms of an impoverished child?" "You may be eligible for a refund on your car insurance!" "Failure to respond to this official government letter will result in prosecution" - but left behind after all of that was scampered out and ripped up was a small manifesto that went as follows:

THE JOSEPH GARDENER MANIFESTO

My name is Joseph Gardener, as you can tell. That is not my real name, merely a convenient pseudonym that I utilise in order to strike fear within the heart of the students of Tinhampton University from behind, and behind the covers at that. Our demands, like all creatures, have evolved in a significant form since the original childish wails of my predecessors. It is at this point in time that I present to you an anthrax-free version of our new red lines that must be upheld if you are to earn our trust. Which you probably won't, but never mind. I have laid out three key demands here, which have been updated to keep with the times and are also rigorously supported, as follows:

WE DEMAND - AN END TO ELITISM AND OPPRESSION
There are many different types of 18-year-old. We have our cavorting party animals, our inevitable hard-workers, and our physically-devoted athletes. At the peak of this egregrious totem pole, however, are two key archetypes: Those who do not deserve a place at the University of Tinhampton but get there, and those who absolutely need to go there but do not have the money to do so. The problem lies with THE DASTARDLY TUITION FEE, some five thousand dollars per annum, which deprives many dedicated lower-income students from achieving their deserved higher education whilst - on some occasions - giving the rich and over-privileged amongst us a virtually free ride to the very top and beyond. (This is notwithstanding the achievements of Gertrude Spencer et al, who studied at a time before the Fees.) We shall, therefore, advocate for the abolition of these dreaded "education taxes" and advocate for action to bring the traditional Tinhamptonian working-class at the very front and centre of our University community.

WE DEMAND - AN END TO CORPORATE FREEBIES
Austerity. That word makes you think, doesn't it? A word that, to the few elites like yourself, has brought nothing but heightened cases of legally undetected embezzlement. Meanwhile, as aforementioned and will be mentioned, thousands of average Tinhamptonian men and women keep on slumming it at the local Employment Centre trying to find a few hours of paid work and nab about fifty dollars or so per week, which is never enough to sustain a family. We cannot, however, forget the literal and unofficial fifth column of Tinhamptonian government, the corporations, who are permitted to operate at an inferior level of tax in exchange for offering their services at large, mostly to the rich and wealthy, all of whom will be able to successfully influence the Tinhamptonian government. To this effect, the Tinhampton Student Unity retains its full support to a sensibly punitive level of corporation tax in order to refund public services and make our city as awesome as it ever has been.

WE DEMAND - AN END TO CLIMATE CHANGE DENIAL
It is a fact, proven by thousands of scientific and informal studies alike, that we human beings ARE CAUSING CLIMATE CHANGE at this very moment in time. Your government is one of countless that turn a blind eye to the reckless extraction of harmful gases from all regions, thus leading to the starvation and choking of hundreds of millions, perhaps even billions. Do you find this acceptable? Will you find it acceptable when you, the Self-Administrative City of Tinhampton, is next up on the wall of Mother Nature? Or are you going to shift the blame once again to puny "sunspot cycles" and dodge your responsibility for what would otherwise be the greatest tragedy in all recorded history? We will, therefore, aspire to divest from all fossil fuel companies in favour of renewable energy sources, and hope to make Tinhampton a fully carbon-neutral municipality in due course.

WHAT IF...?
If you accept our common-sense deal, you lose your core supporter base a bit to the far-right, but you form a coalition with them again and all is fine and dandy. If you reject our deal, expect more 2017-style rioting with much less police resistance over what we will perceive to be your poor political choices, especially in anticipation and in the wake of the Budget. The Tinhamptonian Dollar will fall dramatically against the Universal Standard, thereby leading to the closure of many businesses and who knows what else, probably "Margaret" does. Add to this the possibility of Tinhampton winning the 81st World Cup and you have one hell of a payout for MONTPRES on your hands, money which will have to be spent less than usual before being splunked on the latest gizmos from Igaco or Triangle Electronics or Fluffy Bunnies. This money will be siphoned from local shops through a combination of this and skilful fear spreading, all accountable to the franchisors; any subsequent "tagging-on" by other nations could lead not just to a Tinhamptonian but to a GLOBAL RECESSION. The choice is ultimately yours, although it will always be incorrect.

Mayor Price did not put that letter in the recycle bin, or use it as lining for the cat tray. Instead, much unlike he would usually do, he thought over it, thought over it, thought over it yet again, and later called a cabinet meeting, this time on domestic troubles. And troubles they were indeed...

---

Tinhampton First Party witnesses striking rise in poll figures
Far-right party now holds 9% of the vote, up on 4% last election

It can be revealed by the Sentinel that the Tinhampton First Party have reached their highest polling levels in history for the third month in a row. The far-right party, whose new hardline policies include mandatory background checks on all Tinhamptonian immigrants and a promise to campaign against World Assembly membership, have now reached 9% according to MeGov polls released this morning.
They have vowed to remain in the current coalition "for the good of the country," but will officially schism upon the dissolution of the Assembly in their belief that "the current ruling parties are not even good enough for Tinhampton, and neither are the opposition." To the exclusion of Speaker Ian Jones, this latest MeGov poll of 2,027 adults shows that the SDP is currently running 31-29 in terms of seats against the United Conservatives, with the Tinhampton Libertarians and Free Democrats also not far behind.
Most conspicious is the absence of many of the smaller third-parties who would have otherwise been jocking to retain their Assembly representation, including the Miners Party, Seriously Serious Party, Death to the State, the Equal Rights Party - who are rumoured to be considering an "Equal Opportunities Ticket" with the more fortunate New International Party - and the Pirate Party.

Advert

The Tinhamptonian Union of Sovereigntists, who has only taken one Assembly seat this century, will also be more than happy to take six seats in the potential new Assembly as it stands today. Diana Knight's Your Tinhampton!-New Christian Democratic Party, in fact a coalition of two smaller centre-right parties who polled 500 votes between them last year, barely appear likely to claim a pair of seats in the legislature.
With the 2% threshold hitting the left-wing hard, however, perhaps John Price - if he gets to that stage - can take heart in a potential coalition with the Libertarians, Free Democrats, Union of Sovereigntists, and YT!-NCDP alliance. With TUS leader and former Foreign Minister Fred Jackson having announced their political "ideological soulmateship" with Tinhampton First, however, the deadlock that could result on certain issues might unintentionally backfire for the Mayor.
Ever since the 2% threshold was introduced for elections in February, from next March's Assembly ballot onwards, several parties have announced their inability to field adequate candidates, even beyond the traditional one-man bands of the Concerned Families Party (George Fall) and Fluoride-Free Tinhampton (Andrew Xavier), both of whom are forecast to fall from grace in tragic manner at the polls.
Headline polling figures: SDL 21%, UCP 19%, TLP 17%, FDP 13%, T1P 9%, G-EP 6%, NIP 5%, TUS 4%, YT!-NCDP 2%. All less than 2%: PP 1%, MP 1%, ERP 1%, HSP >1%, SSP >1%, DEATS 0%, CFP 0%, FFT 0%.

Before and After: To the left is the previous layout of the Assembly (UCP 34, SDP 32+1 speaker, TLP 19, FDP 18, G-EP 7, ERP 6, SIP 6/IFP 1, T1P 6, PP 5, MP 4, SSP 4, DEATS 3, HSP 2, FFT 1, CFP 1, TUS 0, YT! and NCDP both 0).

To the right would be its new layout if the election were held tomorrow (SDL 31+1 speaker, UCP 28, TLP 25, FDP 19, T1P 13, G-EP 9, NIP 8, TUS 6, YT!-NCDP 2, ERP 0, PP 0, SSP 0, MP 0, CFP 0, FFT 0, DEATS 0, HSP 0).

---

Today's most popular stories:

1. Tinhampton First Party witnesses striking rise in poll figures
2. Tinhampton vs Cassadaigua LIVE BLOG: Tinhampton aiming for shock win
3. BUDGET '18: Victoria Bryne forced to axe Tin Mining Company part renationalisation
4. The secret behind Tinhampton's sporting success... so far
5. Doctor pay stagnation case set to be decided next week

[South Covello]

SCNN Election Coverage

7:45 PM: This is SCNN, andyou're watching Election Night in South Covello. We'll be bringing you election results all night long until we know what's going to happen. As a reminder, we have three serious candidates seeking office in this special election, young activist David Hale, Legislator Clara Santos, and Doctor Louise Bennett. There are also 687 other random candidates, ranging from Moses The Pant Ferret, who wears a ferret costume for all public appearances, to porn star Lusty McBoobtits, to six year-old actress Miley Smiley. The South Covello Constitution sets no restrictions on who can be President, except that they must be a South Covello citizen who has never been convicted of treason and was either not a high-ranking official in the Gregist regime or has renounced their affiliation and loyalty under oath. So we've got a bunch of people running, but Hale, Benett, and Santos are the serious ones. And in an SCNN poll conducted just yesterday, Hale has 45 percent, Santos has 32 percent, Bennett has 25 percent, and the remainder are undecided. If those results hold, Hale and Santos, separated by almost 70 years in age, would head to a runoff election, while Bennett and the also-rans would be eliminated. However, if someone can get to a majority of the vote, they will be elected President tonight. Polls close in under 15 minutes now, we'll take a quick break but we'll be right back with more coverage in the SCNN Election Room.

8:00 PM: Polls are now closed in South Covello in the second Presidential election in our nascent democracy. John Green was ousted about two and a half months ago after his Presidency went up in flames, and now we need to elect another President to serve the remaining two-plus years of his term. It will be a bit before results start rolling in, but we'll get you them when we get them ourselves. Will it be David Hale, the firey, hopeful young activist? Louise Bennett, the doctor who treated thousands of people during the Revolution? Clara Santos, the old hand politician who started the peace movement two years ago by casting a solitary "No" vote against military action in Saintland? Or can someone stage the upset of the century? Will we know tonight, or will we have a runoff in six weeks? We'll have it all for you tonight.

8:19 PM: First results coming in now, 0.1% of precincts reporting, so we've got a long, long way to go and these are pretty much meaningless, but here we go. David Hale is in the lead with 62 percent, followed by Clara Santos with 28 percent, Louise Bennett with 7, and I guess the also-rans got 3 per - oh, it changed. Hale just dropped to 47 percent, he's still in the lead, followed by Santos with 42, Bennett with 6, and then there's every - as you can see, the numbers are changing very rapidly at this point, and they just changed again.

8:42 PM: OK, we've got 8 percent of precincts reporting now, David Hale has maintained a lead all night, he's at 41 percent right now, Clara Santos is at 35 percent, Louise Bennett is at 20 percent, and we've got 4 percent for also-rans. And somehow, Moses The Pant Ferret leads those also-rans with 2 percent. Really? One out of every 50 citizens wants a guy in a ferret suit to be our President? Can you imagine him meeting other world leaders, dressed as a ferret? How will we be taken seriously? Come on, guys, really?

9:11 PM: Just after 9:00 now, polls have been closed over an hour, and we have 21 percent of precincts reporting. David Hale and Clara Santos still in the lead, Hale with 40 percent and Santos with 36 percent, Louise Bennett way back at 20 percent and other still stuck at four. And I'm told we have a projection to make. Louise Bennett, we are projecting, will not be President of South Covello. David Hale and Clara Santos will finish one and two, though we are not prepared at this time to project the order or whether a runoff will be necessary. But, once again, Louise Bennett will not be President. I am told she is going to wait until the result is known to make a public concession speech, but will shortly be calling both Hale and Santos to wish them good luck in the current election.

9:30 PM: We have over 52 percent of precincts reporting now, and David Hale is holding on to a slim lead, 40 percent to 39 percent over Clara Santos, with Louise Bennett, who we have already projected will not be President, way back at 17 percent. It's looking increasingly likely we will be heading to a runoff, but we're not prepared to project that yet.

10:01 PM: With 68 percent of precincts reporting, just after the 10 o'clock hour, we are prepared to make a partial projection, but first, let's look at the numbers. Very close, Hale with 40.3 percent, Santos with 39.9 percent, Bennett back quite a ways at 17.2, and then there's the others. And here's what we will project - neither David Hale nor Clara Santos will be elected President tonight. They will both head to a runoff in six weeks. At this time, we are not prepared to project who will finish in first and who will finish in second, but that's not particularly meaningful. Regardless, there will not be a winner tonight. I'm told both Hale and Santos will wait to speak until we know who will finish with the most votes, but Louise Bennett has called both Hale and Santos and is ready to speak to her supporters. Let's head over to Bennett campaign headquarters now.

"Well, it's been a great ride, hasn't it? We traveled the country, we fought hard to bring experience and pragmatism to South Covello, but ultimately the people have spoken and our President will either be Ms. Santos or Mr. Hale. I'd like to start by thanking all of my supporters for bringing us this far, for sticking with us through two campaigns, and for voting for me yet again. But I'm not a career politician. This is my last election. I will return to what I do best - practicing medicine and helping those who need it the most. To that end, I encourage all of you to support the candidate who will help us the most, come the runoff. And that is why I am asking all of you to vote for David Hale six weeks from now. David is a fiery young activist who will bring us the energy we need. He will focus on making progress that South Covello needs, not getting involved in other nations' problems. Clara Santos would make a fine President as well, and I would encourage her to continue her good work fighting for peace in the Senate, but this is the youth's time to rise up and show South Covello it is our time. I myself am only 38 years old and already I have achieved a lot. I'm sure by the time he is my age, David Hale will have achieved even more. Ms. Santos has indicated she will be running for Legislature again if she is not elected President, and those elections will be four weeks after the Presidential runoff. We can truly have the best of both worlds - David Hale as our President, and Clara Santos as a leader in the Legislature. Mr. Hale, I endorse you for the future of our nation!"

10:07 PM: Back here in the studio now, and, as you saw, Louise Bennett has endorsed David Hale for President of South Covello in the runoff. We don't yet know who will finish first tonight and who will finish second, but it's going to be a lively six weeks with Clara Santos and David Hale, two individuals who want the best for South Covello, fighting it out in spirited competion.

10:42 PM: 89 percent of precincts reporting, we are now ready to make our final projection of the night, but first, let's check the results. David Hale on top with 43 percent, Clara Santos has fallen back to 38 percent, Louise Bennett with 15 percent, will be eliminated, as will the 600+ also-rans who combined for four percent. But although it will stay close, there are not enough votes out there for Santos to make up. David Hale will finish first tonihght, but not high enough to be elected with a majority. As we've known for hours, he and Clara Santos will go to a runoff six weeks from now. Hale, as first-place finisher, will get the first position on the ballot, and perhaps first chocie of podium in the debates, but that's about all this counts for. It's certain to be a lively six weeks coming up and we'll bring it all to you. Good night for now.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Black-and-Reds Dominant after Mystery Illness

The Confederate national team built on the momentum from their upset of Qasden with a methodical dismantling of the visitors from Illahee, but the real story was the gastrointestinal distress that addicted several of the home players. Many usual starters were absent from both field and bench, and several who did play appeared to be struggling.

Chief of team security Captain Farid Ruoho, speaking after the match, said that while it is too early to draw any firm conclusions, it is suspected that tainted food at the team meal this afternoon may have been to blame. Exactly which players have been affected by this illness had not been announced, but we can assume from their absence that goaltender Munib, defensemen Ulcviecel, Ystrad, Dzarkhin, and Raktsov, midfielders Hagaz, Strepol, Djanetic, and Tambura, and strikers Ajao and Mikhulat are all suffering symptoms. No one on staff has been willing to discuss emergency callups yet, but they may prove necessary if we are to field a full roster in Olastor. In addition to the players entirely absent, it appeared that Damot, Vladcik, and Oleb were also suffering. Damot in particular put in a particularly gutsy performance, scoring one goal and assisting on two others in between bouts of vomiting on the sideline.

Captain Ruoho has announced he will hold another press conference tomorrow evening with further updates in his investigation, while Lopal Daror has said that the roster for the match in Olastor will be a same-day decision.

Squornshelan Remnant States  4 - 0  Illahee
Zonde 14' (Damot)
Damot 29' (Dzrenin)
Jzvanic 37' (Damot)
Vladcik 83' (Jzvanic)

Squornshelan Remnant States Qualifying Schedule:
MD1:  Illahee 0-1 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD2:  Squornshelan Remnant States 1-2 Olastor
MD3:  The South Falls 2-3 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD4:  Squornshelan Remnant States 2-0 Geisenfried
MD5:  Pasarga 1-0 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD6:  Squornshelan Remnant States 1-2 95X 
MD7:  Vakolicci Haven and Celeria 1-0 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD8:  Dormill and Stiura 0-0 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD9:  Squornshelan Remnant States 2-1 Qasden
MD10: Squornshelan Remnant States 4-0 Illahee
MD11: @ Olastor (110)
MD12: v The South Falls (307)
MD13: @ Geisenfried (UR)
MD14: v Pasarga (11)
MD15: @ 95X (50)
MD16: v Vakolicci Haven and Celeria (70)
MD17: v Dormill and Stiura (252)
MD18: @ Qasden (27)

[Eura]

OOC: Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.
Part 5.
[Part 6 of this RP

The events of the third morning of this peculiar revolt are those that would shake the late Emile Gartanzo’s Sameban Republic the most, right to its very core. Numerous names for the insurrection led by Rossi of the Air Force and Morzo of the civil service were cropping up domestically and abroad. ‘Beranist Revolt” was one, “The Great Betrayal” another if you were a loyalist. The Euran government were calling it “the present situation”; appropriately vague given they could not be sure how it would play out. One editor at the Directus Post newspaper nailed it in such a manner that their term for the events unfolding in Sameba would become permanently entrenched as the correct phrase:

THE BERANIST SCHISM
Sameban military government split after death of dictator Gartanzo; Euran Pound rallies as prospect of breakthrough soars

In the first two days the schism had unfolded rapidly. On the third day it flipped into overdrive. General Calternan’s Third Army had officially declared for the moderates and swept northwards, having reportedly agreed a ceasefire with the Euran’s at the expanse of a small strip of land on the north bank of the Marapan River. The size of Sameba meant that although the forces would not hit each other for at least a couple of days, they had already mobilised and were therefore effectively fighting already. Among his sizeable forces were a large number of battle tanks and other armoured vehicles. Although outnumbered by those held by the hardliner loyalists overall, Calternan had the most professional and well equipped units in the entire Sameban Republican Army, and easily the largest single formation of armoured forces. Since news spread over night of Third Army’s defection to the Beranist cause there had been a groundswell swing in support to the Beranist rebels. Across the country hardliner units were being split by the news or outright disintegrating creating a national crisis in SRA discipline. To make matters worse, local factors were now coming into play, as regional commanders with long held grudges and disputes, or particularly bad morale problems, were pitted against one another. The Communists had seized Bregaland. Quietly and most critically of all, the population at large were growing restless and mass civil unrest appeared imminent.

From their remote base the Beranist leadership had taken to the airwaves once more. This time they had called explicitly for Admiral Gallo in Samebus to cease his military activities against “fellow Sameban comrades in arms” accept a compromise that would unite the nation. Gallo’s response was already out there even as the Beranists were broadcasting theirs; the television station was operational again and angrily spoke of the “seismic treason” of everyone involved in the revolt – Rossi and Morzo in particular – and how they would be strung up from the Presidential buildings when caught. Both sides talked a big game but couldn’t follow through on their bluster. The Beranists could not force Gallo to back down, Gallo could not extinguish the flame of mutiny that had spread so rapidly once Calternan joined the cause, and neither faction had time on their side due to the looming threat of the Eurans (and how either side would be demolished if facing them alone). Rejection of the final Beranist overtures before the Third Army came within sight of Samebus meant that the hardliners had reached the point of no return. It was to become a kill or be killed situation.

By the mid-afternoon airstrikes were being carried out repeatedly by the Sameban Air Force against hardliner SRA units outside the capital in an unprecedented act of civil warfare. Although Sameba had tried hard to prevent the infiltration of foreign media organisations during the war the current weakness of the Sameban state made this impossible – which meant that these strikes were being broadcast around the region and beyond. Tit for tat infantry and armour battles roared into life the closer the Third Army got, sweeping aside hardliner units lying in its path. Some of these units fought to the last man and with extreme aggression, while in some cases entire companies surrendered or switched sides without firing a shot, demonstrating the depth of division within the SRA. Seeking to strike back in earnest, Moretti ordered several large formations to seize airbases in the capital region and summarily execute any officers found guilty of organising resistance or mutiny. Sooner or later the hardliners would realise that this was no longer something that could be adequately described as a mere “mutiny”.

----------

Bregaland belonged to the people, or so said the propaganda. The Bregan Revolutionary Army had successfully seized the city of Brega and a large chunk of northeastern Sameba in the most sensational few days of the nascent groups history. Though little comment had been passed on it this was the most successful few days for the Endemian far left – be it Euran, Sameban or anyone else – in decades. A half-genuinely revolutionary army had seized a major megacity from a fascist government and literally defenestrated its corrupt, reactionary class of officials and collaborators. Volunteer comrades from Eura, Savojarna, Mytannion and dozens of other nations had fought side by side and with remarkable success. The Chairman of the Workers Council of the BRA, Pierro Buccho, was very much in charge and making sure everyone knew it. Or so said the propaganda.

Reality made things vastly more complicated for Buccho and his cohort of revolutionaries. When the BRA seized central Brega and the buildings that represented the authority of the Republican dictatorship, they had issued a set of demands based on the resignation of the government and of General Gartanzo. In the subsequent 24 hours it had become clear that Gartanzo was dead – by murder or illness depending on who you believed the least – and that there were two regimes now as opposed to one. Both were hostile to the BRA of course but neither able to focus their full force against them. This presented a dilemma for Buccho; what did he ask for now? Did he simply repeat his demands without the Gartanzo aspect? Did he demand both governments resign? More importantly how would the BRA take advantage of the situation when it was creating defensive positions in expectation of an SRA counterattack? The BRA didn’t have the strength to take advantage of the SRA’s sudden internal chaos.

One thing was certain at least; a counterattack would come. The SRA units in the north east were as hardline as any elsewhere in the country and would not tolerate the loss of Brega. Then there was the Euran complication, and this is what had left Buccho in a spin as the reports came in of hardliner SRA forces building up not too far from the city. The Beranists had not shown up for the party but they didn’t need to. Hardliner forces were stronger in the region anyway and presented enough of an existential threat to the BRA to force Buccho to face facts. Covertly and in complete contradiction of Buccho’s public statements, Eura had backed his revolution to the hilt when necessary, confident that it wouldn’t backfire against them. He had of course planned to break free from reliance on the Euran’s before long but to maintain control in Brega and put his forces in position to advance once victory was secured, he needed their help. The Euran’s had promised that help prior to the seizure of Brega should the SRA try to take the city back. He needed them now. The BRA needed them too and they were running out of time to call in the favour before it would be too late.

At an emergency session of the Workers Council, narrowed down to the most trustworthy and senior members, Buccho had been unable to raise his Euran contacts which caused great concern. Pointed criticism of Buccho from other members of the committee left him reeling. Hours and hours passed late into the third day and there was still no response. As the sky became ever so slightly less bright and a bit more orange, his panic became more and more telling. At dawn on the fourth day of the Beranist Schism he found himself on the roof of the City Chambers buildings. Many thousands of BRA fighters were readying themselves for an imminent SRA assault. The numbers suggested they would defend their holdings successfully for now but without Euran support that victory would still leave them too weak to push on. His comrade Silvia, the mastermind of his interactions with the Euran’s, joined him with a familiar looking satellite phone. ‘Still being blanked by them I’m afraid.’
‘Have we tried their field agents?’
‘Can’t locate any of them. Were we wrong to trust them?’ Buccho couldn’t answer her with a straight face so he turned away, lifting binoculars to his eyes. Just as he had worked up an answer in his head that wasn’t “seems like it” in his head, her phone burst into life.

It was not the Euran’s making the call.

Comrades from the eastern coastline were calling Silvia, something they had been instructed not to do directly unless a serious emergency presented itself. ‘Marshal, are you receiving me? This is Red River, Marshal, are you receiving me, please acknowledge.’ They shared a glance. It couldn’t be good news could it? ‘Affirmative Red River I am receiving you. Marshal Primary is present. Report.’
‘Affirmative…oh, to hell with it. There’s no point in secrecy. There has been a catastrophe – the Euran’s have landed!’ Both were both delighted and confused. Euran intervention was what they had wanted but the word “catastrophe” was clearly a warning sign of something more sinister. ‘Red River, can you clarify, over? A Euran landing is one of the better scenarios we’ve had in mind.’
‘Not like this. My scouts have just come back from Iaello, where we’d cleared the old tourist beaches for them. Its half their Marine Corps! There must be three carrier groups out at sea, ships as far as you can see.’
‘Affirmative, once again, what is the problem?’ Silvia was biting her fingers nervously. Something wasn’t right.
‘The problem is they didn’t stop there. They turned up at our firebase and razed it. Comrades Bezzeni and Luro are dead. It’s just me left Marshal. I repeat, the Blues are not friendly. Marshal, are you receiving me?’ Silvia and Buccho had stopped paying attention as a sense of dread took over. Buccho didn’t need his binoculars to see what he was hearing – the terrifying thunder of explosions nearby, followed by the crescendo of several Euran jets approaching on an attack path. He’d seen the Sameban regime’s jets attack enough to know what an imminent air strike looked like. There was no getting away this time.

[Geisenfried]

something of a continuation of this...

She'd been sitting on this story for a while at this point. Journalistic integrity required her to be thorough and double check, but everything she had pursued indicated that what she had been given were indeed legitimate high level government documents pertaining to confidential information in regards to the Banijan crisis. But her initial excitement at all the possible eyes she could bring in at the release of the information had given way to a crisis of conscience. Discussions with the legal team aboard staff at the paper felt fairly confident that the subject, if kept to certain parameters, could in fact be released under freedom of the press laws, so it wasn't necessarily of question of could she legally. They'd also given her their backing in the most likely scenario of a government attempt to suppress the information, and had support of the other members of the editorial staff, so she wasn't necessarily bucking against the rest of the paper, should she decide to release. The government would come - that was an inevitability - but one she had prepared herself as best she could for.

So the only thing left to question was herself. Should she release the documents? Democratic governments like Geisenfried should, by any stretch of the imagination, be held accountable by their people. This was - while by no strict circumstances criminal - still something that needed to be accounted for. But there was still a great deal of national security matters broached in the papers, enough that she did have to ask herself - would she be undermining the country by releasing these? The documents were incomplete, but from what she could tell by the nature of them, she knew that even if she had the entirety of these particular documents that she couldn't release all of them. Giving out that level of operational detail would be tantamount to high treason. But you had to take out all the details about how they would pursue such a thing, and look at why you would do such a thing. From what she had, she could read a clear intent by the government to do something - and that something was something that the public should know about. In the end, she'd been entrusted with these, by some brave soul in the administration, because they felt that. And she in turn, felt that too.

And so she prepared herself for the coming storm, as she gave the go ahead to publish.

Pasarga 4 - 2 Geisenfried
Auðbjörnsson (18'), Sigurjónsdóttir (29'), Jaeger (37'), Kárpáty (48'), Feierabend (65'), Sondheim (82')

[The Macabees]

LOLITA, CH. 11

He was told to meet outside of an abandoned warehouse just outside of northeastern Fedala. There was little out here except abandoned fields and weeds, with the occasional building. The highway ran just half a kilometer away. Bernie could hear the noise of the thousands of cars speeding down its ordered lanes from where he stood, just outside with his hands tucked into his pockets. It was not freezing, but it was a cold night and he was wearing a t-shirt.

Henrrek came a little later than he said he would. He rolled up in a classic car, sitting in the driver's seat.

"These are still legal?" he asked when the hitman drove up to him.

Henrrek gave him a cold look. "Yes," the big man said. "They're also not in the system. Now, get in."

He did as told. These doors didn't open for the passenger so he fumbled with it until he figured out how to pull the door handle the right way. Finally, he got into the seat next to Henrrek. The big man said nothing more for a while, pulling the car out into the street as soon as Bernie had closed the door behind him. They drove in silence for some time. Henrrek was driving back toward the city. Bernie had a feeling where they were going. "Not in the system? Why don't we want to be in the system?" he asked. Then, "Ah, yes, let me guess. We are going to kill Lolita."

"No." The hitman's voice was like a hammer against an anvil. "Things have evolved past Lolita. Things have become more complicated. Now the Guffingfordis are involved. While you've been hiding at your friend's house, I've been dealing with the mess you created for us at her apartment. We can't outrun them. They will eventually catch us. So we must go to them and come to some sort of truce, some sort of mutual beneficial ending."

Bernie looked at Henrrek for a long while, his face a picture of confusion. "What what?" he replied. "We're doing what?"

"Just do as say, kid. You'll be okay." The hitman pressed down on the accelerator and the engine roared. Around them the other vehicles shifted in different ways, some slowing, others merging into flanking lanes. Almost no one drove their own car, truck, or anything anymore. The roads were the domain of computers, computers that could optimize the flow of traffic at faster speeds. But humans are unpredictable, even ultimately to computers. They finally adjusted around them, but almost consciously wary of veering too close. They call them black holes, constraints in the data that removed possible solutions from the traffic-coordinating algorithms.

He was right, of course. About where they were going. Henrrek soon took them below ground, taking a highway that entered from the north. It did not meet with Alkoben directly, but with enough directional changes they finally arrived. It was festive. People were already walking the streets, even the street women. There would be even more people in these parts later in the night, many of them tweakers and addicts looking to score or gamble at one of the big casinos.

Following the main street, they arrived at one of these casinos. It was the largest, in fact. Bright, burning lights were enough to illuminate everything around them, although there were lights everywhere. A valet came to open the doors for them, taking Henrrek's keys as well. They walked into the building.

If it was loud outside on the street, inside it was a cacophony of music, talking, machines, and shouts. People pulled levers, threw dice, and moved around cards. Girls in short shorts and tank tops distributed drinks, enjoyment enhancers [ed. drugs], and food to the guests as they played. Big security guards in black suits stood at intervals, often hidden in the crowds or behind tall plants. There were enough of them to deal with any problem, however. They carefully surveyed the situation around them. Undoubtedly, they were well armed. Bernie gulped.

"Keep calm now," said the hitman.

"Easy for you to say." It was everything he could do not to stare at the guards, in case they saw him and decided to kill him on the spot.

"Relax," said Henrrek. "They're expecting us."

"They wha—?" But before he could finish asking the question, Bernie was basically pushed into the elevator. One of the guards stepped in with them. He pulled out a small automatic weapon and held it in front of him diagonally now. The guard faced them, face cut from stone, unreadable.

The guard looked at him for a second, and then Henrrek. "You're late," he said.

"I had to take care of some things," answered the hitman.

"Guus and Laurens won't be happy." The guard turned away.

Bernie took a deep breath. Henrrek seemed calm enough, this must all be under control. Right? They started going up several floors. They stopped at none, headed straight for the top. "When you said they were expecting us, what exactly did you mean by that?" asked Bernie. The elevator silent 'til then.

The hitman looked at him and said, "The van Graat brothers are ultimately businessmen. All businessmen are lured by a deal. All we need to do is offer him one that's good enough."

"Sounds reasonable," said Bernie, thinking about it. It made sense. "So what exactly are we offering him? If Lolita costs two mil, I can't even imagine the price of paying off the mafia."

The guard chuckled then. "You haven't told him yet, have you?" he asked. Henrrick grimaced.

"Told me what?" Bernie looked at the hitman. The guard was laughing.

Henrrek, solemn, said, "I'm offering him you, kid. You're the deal."

Bernie's mouth fell open in horror just as the elevator came to a stop. Its wide doors opened to an opulent room that looked an office or a study. Along all the walls were heavily laden bookcases. The lights were built into the ceiling. Several guards stood around the room, assault rifles in hand. In the middle of it all was a prominent wooden desk of solid construction, behind which sat two men.

"Hello," said one of them. "My name is Laurens. This is my brother Guus. We have been expecting you, Bernie."

[95X]

95X in AOCAF 19
AOCAF 19 took place in Bettia two years after AOCAF 19. Chris Crossman returned, as did most of the players. Melissa/Michelle Mitchell moved to the starting lineup and 95X fielded a 3-4-3 standard formation.

MD 1: Bazalonia 2, 95X 2 (Bazalonia wins 3-2 in Extra Time); Pajajaran Stadium, Subarnas
MD 2: Ereeland 3, 95X 0 (Known for 95X starting goalkeeper Marco Adams vomiting on the field, leading to a substitution); Pajajaran Stadium, Subarnas
MD 3: 95X 1, Krytenia 1 (95X wins 2-1 in Extra Time, also the first 95X NT win); Stamping Ground, Lorshill
MD 4: No game scheduled.
MD 5: Vilita & Turori 1, 95X 0; Alice Street, Butetown
MD 6: Az-Cz 2, 95X 0; Alice Street, Butetown
MD 7: Ulzaxid 3, 95X 2; Pajajaran Stadium, Subarnas

1 win, 0 draws, 5 losses; 6 goals for, 13 goals against, -7 goal difference; 3 points. Did not advance.

[Kita-Hinode]

[Equestrian States]

The Massacre of the Penguins
by Steve McNotapony

Equestrian States 4-0 Penguinland
at Wild Grounds in Everfree, Equestrian States
Attendance: 61,737
Scoring:
Crystal Arrow '8 (R. Tyler)
Rosie Tyler '37 (J. Poole)
Josef Lawerenz '75 (R. Tyler)
Silver Moon '90+1 (Rumble)

EVERFREE - The Equestrian States started the second half of their World Cup 81 qualifying campaign with a bang last night as they demolished 272nd-ranked Penguinland in front of a raucous sold-out Wild Grounds crowd. With crucial matches against Garifunya, Saltstead, and Northwest Kalactin looming on the horizon, Ponies manager Pearly White rested most of her usual starters, fielding a team of second-stringers against the Penguins. One of just two usual Equestrian starters on the pitch was midfielder Rosie Tyler, who would earn Player of the Match honors with a truly impressive performance.

The Ponies wasted no time taking the game to the Penguins, going on the attack from the first whistle. Pinned back in their own third, the Penguinlanders bravely tried to survive the early onslaught, but it was just a matter of time before the Equestrians found an opening. In the 8th minute, striker Crystal Arrow headed home a free kick delivered into the box by Rosie Tyler, putting the Ponies on the board within the opening quarter-hour for the sixth time in ten matches. Though the Equestrians probably could've sat back to see out the remainder of the game, the Ponies instead continued to press the attack. Rosie Tyler doubled the Equestrian lead before the end of the first half off a set piece as the Penguins struggled to get the ball past midfield.

Things got a bit better for Penguinland in the second half as the Equestrians did finally ease off the pressure a bit, allowing the Penguins to finally put together an attack or two, but as time wore on it became increasingly clear that the visitors were tiring quickly in the hot and humid Everfree climate. Though the Hoofball Association would adamantly deny intentionally arranging for the Penguinland match to be played in weather conditions that would be completely foreign to the Penguins, there's no denying that it had a real impact on the end of the match. The Ponies ran circles around their visibly exhausted opponents and the Penguins labored to clear even half-hearted efforts to score. Winger Josef Lawerenz found the back of the net in the 75th minute, set up by Rosie Tyler's through-ball, and Silver Moon finished the rout in stoppage time after Rumble cleared the Penguins' last-ditch effort to salvage something from the match.

Immediately following the restart, the final whistle blew to mercifully bring an end to a horrific night for the Penguinlanders, Pearly White politely exchanging some words with Penguins boss Ray Will Bradford before joining her players' celebration of another dominant performance.

   GROUP 10                  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts        MD10 Results:
 1  Equestrian States      10    9   1   0    26    4  +22    28         Lochario 1–0 Sharktail 
 2  Saltstead              10    7   2   1    17    6  +11    23        @ Unknown Venue in Unknown City, SHK
 3  Garifunya              10    6   2   2    15    9   +6    20         Equestrian States 4–0 Penguinland 
 4  Northwest Kalactin     10    6   1   3    15    8   +7    19        @ Wild Grounds in Everfree, EQS
 5  Lochario               10    5   1   4    11    9   +2    16         East Belzaria 1–2 Garifunya 
 6  East Belzaria          10    3   3   4    12   17   −5    12        @ Belzarian Command Complex in Command, EBZ
 7  Sharktail              10    2   4   4    16   19   −3    10         South Batoko 0–0 Saltstead 
 8  Sorrentopia            10    2   2   6    12   15   −3     8        @ Unknown Venue in Unknown City, SBK
 9  Penguinland            10    1   0   9     8   25  −17     3         Sorrentopia 0–1 Northwest Kalactin 
10  South Batoko           10    0   2   8     1   21  −20     2        @ Sorren Stadium in Sorren, SOR

Elsewhere in Qualifying Group 10, the big news came out of South Batoko where Saltstead were held to a surprise scoreless draw, allowing the Ponies to expand their lead over the Stallions to five points. South Batoko was by far the worst team in the group throughout the first half, losing their first eight matches and scoring just one goal before holding Garifunya to a scoreless draw in their final game before the break; they might be the worst team in the group, but they've now held the group's second and third seeds to draws, which Equestrian supporters surely appreciate.

While South Batoko was throwing a wrench in Saltstead's campaign, Garifunya, Lochario, and Northwest Kalactin all took care of business against lower-ranked opposition, widening the divide between the top and bottom halves of the table. The Garifunyans and Kalactanians are now within striking distance of Saltstead for Group 10's playoff spot, setting up a potentially interesting race should Saltstead continue to falter. The Equestrians, however, will be looking to ensure that they don't get dragged into any sort of competitive race down the stretch and with their next three matches against the teams directly behind them in the table, the Ponies will have the opportunity to solidify their hold on the group's automatic finals berth.

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Match Report :: Match Day 10

 EQUESTRIAN STATES 4-0 PENGUINLAND 
Wild Grounds (cap. 56,500) in Everfree, Equestrian States

Scoring:
 Crystal Arrow '8 (R. Tyler)
 Rosie Tyler '37 (J. Poole)
 Josef Lawerenz '75 (R. Tyler)
 Silver Moon '90+1 (Rumble)

Starting XI:
GK - Starshine
LB - Flitter (C)
CB - Rumble
CB - Blackmane
CM - Rosie Tyler
CM - Jermaine Poole
LM - Lightning Streak
AM - Decima
RM - Josef Lawerenz
ST - Midnight Strike
ST - Crystal Arrow

Substitutions:
 Silver Moon in for Midnight Strike '45
 Cherry Blossom in for Flitter '79
 Sunny Day in for Decima '88