World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

[Vilita]

Vilita with Statement win over CoH, IAC Champs

Lonngeylin Coliseum, Lonngeylin, Vilita :: It was, without question, the most important game of the World Cup 81 Qualification game for the Vilitan National Team. It may also have been the most competitive match on paper amongst all matches during World Cup 81 Qualifying. Two teams off to perfect starts - eight wins and zero losses. It is the furthest into a World Cup Qualification campaign that two nations in the same group could still have a perfectly unblemished record. Finally, in the last match before the mid-qualifying break, something would have to give. Both could not emerge from the Lonngeylin Coliseum unscathed.

As the two highest scoring teams in the multiverse over 8 games, some pundits may have wondered if the match could be the first in World Cup history where both teams scored goals in the double-digits. Of course, the realists knew it wouldn't happen but some still wondered just how high the scoreline could go.

In the end, of course, the final score wouldn't seem too out of sorts. In fact, for both teams, the final scoreline would have been seen as a bit of a slow-down in form as both sides would be playing their most competitive opposition of the campaign for the first time as they entered the match having already cleared an 8 point gap between themselves and the nearest challengers for the advancement places into the World Cup 81 finals in Banija and the Free Republics.

The ground was packed on all sides and outsides as the Vilita National Team brought their most interesting opponent of the cycle to its most energetic high capacity stadium, the Lonngeylin Coliseum in Lonngeylin - home of the famed Jungle Strike FC.

The match itself was about as tense as one might expect a World Cup Finals match to be - a fitting fact for a number of reasons. For one, while this wasn't a World Cup Finals match, it could effectively be the decider as to whether or not one of the two sides would advance directly to the World Cup 81 Finals. Only the top spot in the group would be assured automatic qualification to the Finals and given the near identical goal differential the sides entered the match with, it was a certainty that if one side won the game they would be in the cat-birds seat starting the second half of World Cup qualifying looking down at the rest of Group 13 behind them.

Secondly, the most recent meeting between the two sides was, in fact, in the World Cup Finals. Vilita and Mercedini were no strangers to each other having previously met during World Cup 77 Qualifying and then again in the World Cup 77 Finals. Ironically both sides also played the nation of Kernovi in those World CUp 77 qualifiers, just as they had during the World Cup 81 qualifiers with the successor unified state of Kernovi and Rewgwlas.

At the half-time break, no one had yet found a way to breakthrough and each times average goals-per-game which had been hovering around 5 was quickly slashed as both teams were kept off the scoresheet in the opening forty-five minutes.

The Jungle Cats made one change to start the second half with Yeaddin Owls forward Tenziki Kulakao making way to the Marine Coast United prospect Enzoril Alabonni in a surprise move likely intended to cause confusion in the Mercedini back line as the Golden Eagles were unlikely to have done heavy scouting on the Crosaibi-based youngster.

Whether it was the introduction of the youngster Alabonni or simply a higher level of quality injected over the course of the match, the Jungle Cats would eventually break the deadlock and it would be the Rammsissil forward and perennial golden boot contender in the Vilitan Stellar Division, Berali Tzufarei who would put Vilita in front.

The Golden Eagles tried to go on the counter to level the scores and keep pace in the Group 13 table but it was to no avail and Tzufarei netted their second of the match ten minutes from time looking as if they had secured the game for the Vilita National Team. The match wasn't over yet and there would be drama to come though it would not involve scoring goals in the net - instead it was all about protecting the net as Yeaddin Owls netminder Mako Canopii was felled inside the box and had to make way in a later injury substitution for Striitca Virahat, the backup goalkeeper from the Recent AOCAF championship team for Vilita & Turori who would make their World Cup qualifying debut with 6 minutes to play in the match. Despite smelling fresh blood, Mercedini were unable to get the better of Virahat who was called into action for the first time in World Cup qualifying action. Virahat held the line strong and managed to punch out an 89th minute effort from the Golden Eagles' substitute Dino Santa-Corvani who forced Virahat into a save in stoppage time.

The full time whistle would eventually blow as the Jungle Cats moved atop the overall World Cup 81 Qualification Table and found a narrow 3 point gap back behind them to second place Mercedini in Group 13.

Vilita [2] - [0] Mercedini

:: Vilita Goalscorers :: :: 58' Berali Tzufarei :: 80' Berali Tzufarei

:: Vilita Statistics :: :: Possession: 56% :: Shots on Target: 7 :: Corner Kicks: 10

:: Mercedini Statistics :: :: Possession: 44% :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 6

---

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Mercedini ::
[GK] Mako Canopii, [D.] Rintala Sekagaya, [D.] Inbekira Ajhabekk, [D.] Monner Vileai, [D.] Mileke Drokasorna, [ML] Polaox Torerun, [MC] Karisto Monafog, [MC] Tripate Falcon, [MR] Westii Yahaya, [FC] Berali Tzufarei, [FC] Tenziki Kulakao
BENCH::
[FC] Enzoril Alabonni, [FC] Nuola Brenzil, [M] Purapal Eskiiy, [M] Jurzen Devmiko, [U ] Linvoi Warazil, [D] Kwuimekii Hentetii, [GK] Striitca Virahat

---

With their win over Mercedini, the Vilita National Team sit atop the Overall Standings at the mid-qualifying break as one of eight teams to have posted a perfect 9-0-0 record to start their qualification campaign. The 37 goals scored by the Jungle Cats is second only to Mercedini's 41 and Vilita are +9 Goals Differential over the nearest otherwise perfect sides, Farfadillis and Ethane.

WC81Q Goalscorers (Apps [Goals])
7 [6] - Berali Tzufarei :: Rammsissil
2 [4] - Jyuola Mtalata :: Mliona-Lpaka AFC
3 [4] - Nii'arala Milaaso :: Eastal Lunar
5 [3] - Linkat Cjinder :: Yeaddin Owls AFC
6 [3] - Cavuna Aquafek :: Turoki Tide
6 [3] - Tenziki Kulakao :: Yeaddin Owls
7 [3] - Westii Yahaya :: Yeaddin Owls
4 [2] - Sipke Tarala :: Lonngeylin Coast
2 [1] - Ikala Mravedii :: Lonngeylin Coast
2 [1] - Arocki Tadalek :: Colonial Sile
3 [1] - Nuola Brenzil :: Kionao Locals
4 [1] - Tripate Falcon :: Makosile
4 [1] - Jirijii Januaa :: Mliona-Lpaka
5 [1] - Purapal Eskiiy :: Eastal Lunar
7 [1] - Polaox Torerun :: Turoki Tide

Over the nine matches contested during the first half of qualification, the Vilita National team used five different goalkeepers including Zelkki Milake's starring shutout performance in front of the home crowd at Lunar Park in Seraai. Vilita's top international goalkeeper, Mako Canopii, shared the bulk of the starts with the resurgent veteran Cilamara Issah who has led club team Lonngeylin Coast to back-to-back Stellar Division titles while youngsters Vernasa Sanamun and Striitca Virahat have made partial appearances to get their first tastes of internationstatal action.

On the defensive front there has been a balanced approach as 7 different defenders have made between 4 and 5 appearances for the National Team though no impact has been felt more than that of Yeaddin Owls defender Linkat Cjinder who has found the back of the net 3 times over their 5 qualifying appearances thus far. It was a milestone moment for another Yeaddin Owls defender on Matchday 7 as young Rojara Tiones made their debut fort he Vilita National Team in the 3-0 home victory over Vithuland with Yeaddin Owls teammates Cjinder and goalkeeper Mako Canopii alongside contributing to the shutout.

Westii Yahaya, Polaox Torerun and Cavuna Aquafek saw the bulk of the work in the Vilitan midfield with Yahaya and Aquafek each contributing three times in the first half of qualification scoring at a rate of just under every other game they appeared. Former Colonial trainee Limu Katarakhna, now playing at Eastal Lunar, has graduated from prospect to the workhorse class appearing in five matches though not yet having found the score sheet. Mliona-Lpaka's Jyuola Mtalata has found the back of the net, four times, second most amongst all Vilitan players in the first half - despite appearing in just two games. Of course, one of those two games was the Matchday 8 fixture against Swibia, the absolute bottom side in the overall World Cup 81 table, where Mtalata netted a first career hat-trick.

Rammsissil forward Berali Tzufarei is proving to be at the peak of their game, dominating the scoreboard with the golden boot in the Vilitan Stellar Division and now charging out front of the goalscoring sheets for the Jungle Cats with six goals in seven matches to lead all players. Eastal Lunar youngster Nii'arala Milaaso has also impressed despite appearing in just three matches thus far, the former Galacticos Young Player of the Year has netted four times and certainly has made a strong case for inclusion in more matches as the Jungle Cats march towards a potential spot in the World Cup 81 Finals in Banija and the Free Republics.

---

[Nephara]

Nephara 2 - 0 Bongo Johnson
(4-2-3-1) 20 - Mercator; 18 - Kielseng, 5 - Brosch, 6 - Steelhenge, 3 - Vicelich; 23 - Misidjan, 8 - Klein (15 - Rosenthal 63'); 7 - Fanaiyan (13 - Saroszi 71'), 14 - Moxham, 16 - Porter; 17 - Wolff
Goals: Klein 13', Fanaiyan 44'

West Angola 1 - 2 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Swoboda; 2 - Rafford (18 - Kielseng 79'), 22 - Thorn, 6 - Steelhenge, 19 - Close; 4 - Rowland, 8 - Klein (15 - Rosenthal 70'); 7 - Fanaiyan, 21 - Gosforth (c), 11 - Strongbow; 9 - Hawke (10 - Cathar 70')
Goals: Gosforth 51' pen, Hawke 66'

THE HERALD
AS NEPHARIM FIRM UP FOR FIRST, WHO LOOKS TO BE ON THE PLANE?
Karin Rietveld

It is, of course, not too late for disaster. Nephara are just two points ahead of Eshan, with an inferior goal difference. That plane could be headed for the Cup of Harmony. But it is still a plane. Here's our best bet on who makes it onto it.

Goalkeepers
This much looks set, at least. Andreas Swoboda has been nearly faultless between the posts for Nephara over the past year, and while Tsattalios lost his place as starter, it's hard to see him losing it as backup. The fearless Mercator, who rushes menacingly at forwards, looks very much the future.

Swoboda, Tsattalios, Mercator

Defenders
The first-choice four have firmed up as basically set. The implacable Konoval and Steelhenge in the centre, Rafford and Close either side, quick and energetic fullbacks whose first instinct is to overlap but who are entirely capable of closing ranks too. Trajan Bruyne appears to have vanished after his Indian summer and Theuer's been nowhere to be seen - instead, a lot of hope rests on the boxy shoulders of the highly-promising Roxelana Thorn. But will she actually make the plane, or does a last-minute callup for a steady name like Theuer or the versatile Brymora beckon? Lohengrin must surely also make the plane... but she's slowing, and was it really just a rest for these latest qualifiers? Or will the entirely capable Vicelich step up? Kielseng has been solid when called upon, and it still feels a little too early for Sanger to be subjected to the toughest opponents.

Rafford, Kielseng; Konoval, Steelhenge, Thorn; Close, Lohengrin

Holding Midfielders
Again, it feels like there's been quiet transition. Piece by piece, then; defensive midfield, Helmut Chilmark's lone appearance against Eshan also lead to Nephara's lone dropped points. He's a fine player, a fine destroyer, but wasn't able to be... well, Monica Rowland, who assuredly will make the plane. But turning to Chilmark underlined a lack of trust in alternatives - Brandon seemed unconvinced by Carrow and Aschenbach, leaving the serviceable Servet Misidjan, who just lacks that little bit of force, as the logical alternative. Alongside, Klein is very obviously a lock as a starter, and Circe Rosenthal appears to still hold Brandon's trust in the matches that count. The dynamic Tawny Shone's day, though, will come sooner rather than later.

Rowland, Misidjan; Klein, Rosenthal

Attacking Midfielders
Probably the most set in stone. Fanaiyan, Gosforth, Strongbow; that's just terrifying. So, yes, a dynamic, thrilling right winger, a powerful, guileful playmaker and one of the best players in the world are all going to make the plane. The improvisational Saroszi, the heir to Szalai for club and probably country, and the thrilling Moxham, look locked-in to back them up. Given Aspenwood seems to have played her last game in a green shirt, Marisha Staunton seems in pole position to join them, a very capable winger though perhaps a step behind the other five. Brandon's offered a few tokens of change - Marica Kuepper and Ramona Porter have won their first caps, and the heavyset Sabine Montag's been given a surprise chance to stake her claim behind Moxham. But on the whole, Brandon clearly knows who will make the cut.

Fanaiyan, Saroszi; Gosforth (c), Moxham; Strongbow, Staunton

Forwards
Another position where there is a clear first-choice and a number of decent but unexceptional alternatives. Hawke will wear the #9 - she's been one of only very few players to never have been rested from a squad. It looks like Nevaeh Cathar, who is not quite her father but nevertheless is a confident finisher who looks at ease on the international stage, has quietly seized her chances to back her up. Who is third? Wolff and Metzger are both raw, all-action forwards who for differing reasons lack Premiership experience. Metzger has the more potential, but is he ready yet? With Brandon seemingly at the end of his tenure, he'll probably go for the better player today. Kendall, Tregajorran and Stavanger all arrived at the training camp, but none have made a squad since.

Hawke, Cathar, Wolff

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 7
Goalkeepers: 1 - Althea Taliadoros (Raven River), 12 - Andreas Swoboda (1860 Azoth, CEN), 20 - Hesterine Mercator (Tihon, CMT)
Defenders: 2 - Anita Sanger (Creed United), 3 - Lux Vicelich (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Dieter Konoval (KT Moreazerua, AUD, c), 6 - Dragora Steelhenge (Cornellians, SCT), 18 - Eloise Kielseng (Sabrefell Athletic), 19 - Marcin Close (Brinemouth), 22 - Roxelana Thorn (Lammerton, SCT)
Midfielders: 4 - Laura Carrow (Marionville, SCT), 7 - Ishtar Fanaiyan (Eastweald, COS), 8 - Mordecai Brandtner (Creed United), 11 - Rowena Strongbow (Directus, EUR), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Chimera Moxham (Port Patrick United, SCT), 15 - Circe Rosenthal (Marionville, SCT), 16 - Ramona Porter (Vermillion Rage), 21 - Sabine Montag (North Sabrefell), 23 - Servet Misidjan (AFC Treason)
Forwards: 9 - Estrella Hawke (Sabrefell Athletic), 10 - Nevaeh Cathar (Avenida Leal, FFD), 17 - Aristide Metzger (AFC Treason)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 1 - 0 Eshan @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Bongo Johnson 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 West Angola @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Nephara 3 - 2 Busoga Islands @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Cheergirls 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Cosneolta @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Ancharmunn 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 0 Greater Libertania @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
EOT 0 - 3 Nephara
Eshan 1 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Bongo Johnson @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
West Angola 1 - 2 Nephara
Busoga Islands vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Cheergirls @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Cosneolta vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ancharmunn @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Greater Libertania vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. EOT @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

[Dreamplanet]

WHERE DID DREAMPLANET GO WRONG?

Analysing the last few games.

Jerusalem 3 - 0 Dreamplanet
(Thomas Tether 19', 74', Denise Doge 50' - )
Jeruselem

This was the first time Dreamplanet was unable to put a goal past the opposition, and it showed as the Jersuselem defence easily marked Luis Silva out of the game, but that made room for Paulo Figueiredo or Aaron Hungar, however both of them missed their chances which they would've probably scored on a better day. Thomas Tether scored his
first goal with a longshot, Filipe Vaz could've saved it as it touched his hand on the way in, but Denise Doge doubled the home team's lead by scoring a free kick that went under the wall, and finally Thomas Tether got his second of the game and Jeruselem's 3rd with a 74th minute header, Dreamplanet were well and truly dominated and the play-off hopes were ruined.

Dreamplanet 4 - 1 Lycrabon
(Luis Silva 14', Aaron Hungar 47', Paulo Figueiredo 64', Antonio Luis 84' - ? 5')
Estadio Unido, Dreamplanet

However, this performance against Lycrabon showed what Dreamplanet could do, with the attacking trio of Paulo Figueiredo, Aaron Hungar and Luis Silva getting one each and then substitute striker Antonio Luis capped it off, however despite the scoreline, Dreamplanet started out 1-0 down to Lycrabon after a freak goal gave them the lead, however the fact that Dreamplanet came back so strongly gave many hope that they could humble Abanhfleft despite the odds.

Abanhfleft 4 - 0 Dreamplanet
(Kareem Dagen 14', Vitaly Zima 37', 63', 74' - )
Oubie Park, Abanhfleft

However it wasn't to be as Dreamplanet were well and truly humiliated with their biggest loss of the qualifying campaign and joint biggest loss in Os Tricores history. Kareem Dagen opened the scoring in the 14th minute from a corner, heading the ball past Filipe Vaz, who went to pick it up but missed the ball, then near the end of the half Vitaly Zima scored from a volley from a rebound, Jorge Cardozo often doesn't make mistakes when clearing, but this one was costly. Dreamplanet were able to ride out the storm until the 63rd minute where Zima made it 2 from a longshot 20 yards out, and finally compiled the misery in the 74th minute with an easy tap-in after a superb pass from Cedric Pearson.

Dreamplanet has virtually no hope of getting to the top 2 and seem to be waiting elimination, however Dreamplanet made a valiant return from the ashes and fans will be looking forward to a potential Cup of Harmony invite and their debut in the Campionato Esportiva.

Saturday September 1st - MD1: Dreamplanet 1-2 Jeruselem
Sunday September 2nd - MD2: Lycrabon 1-1 Dreamplanet
Monday September 3rd - MD3: Dreamplanet 1-2 Abanhfleft
Tuesday September 4th - MD4: Dreamplanet 2-1 Crystalline Caverns 
Wednesday September 5th - MD5: Mareibat 3-4 Dreamplanet
Thursday September 6th - MD6: Dreamplanet 6-2 Neo-Romanum
Friday September 7th - MD7: Darkmania 1-3 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 8th - MD8: Dreamplanet 1-4 Mriin
Sunday September 9th - MD9: Sultanate of Oontaz 2-2 Dreamplanet
Tuesday September 11th - MD10: Jeruselem 3-0 Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 12th - MD11: Dreamplanet 4-1 Lycrabon
Thursday September 13th - MD12: Abanhfleft 4-0 Dreamplanet
Friday September 14th - MD13: Crystalline Caverns vs Dreamplanet
Saturday September 15th - MD14: Dreamplanet vs Mariebat
Sunday September 16th - MD15: Neo-Romanum vs Dreamplanet
Monday September 17th - MD16: Dreamplanet vs Darkmania
Tuesday September 18th - MD17: Mriin vs Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 19th - MD18: Dreamplanet vs Sultanate of Oontaz

Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Mriin                            12    9   2   1    40   16  +24    29
 2 Abanhfleft                       12    9   1   2    26   10  +16    28
 3 Jeruselem                        12    8   2   2    28   16  +12    26
 4 Darkmania                        12    6   2   4    28   25   +3    20
 5 Sultanate of Oontaz              12    5   3   4    15   18   −3    18
 6 Dreamplanet                      12    5   2   5    25   26   −1    17
 7 Crystalline Caverns              12    4   3   5    14   19   −5    15
 8 Mareibat                         12    3   0   9    15   26  −11     9  (E)
 9 Neo-Romanum                      12    1   4   7    10   25  −15     7  (E)
10 Lycrabon                         12    0   1  11     6   26  −20     1  (E)

Qualified for World Cup
Qualified for Playoffs
Eliminated

[Jeruselem]

Princess Cassie with lots of teenage girl behind her at Dazza Dallas Stadium ...

This is Princess Cassandra Elisa Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. As you can see, we're back home at Dazza Dallas Stadium! Those girls are just some of fans round here. Some overseas visitors who have never been requested to see what's it's like here. Well, we got some of crowd here. We have reputation for pretty girls, and this is what to expect. I hope you lot are happy now. For some reason, more girls turn up to football games than guys here.

Mareibat were the visitors hoping for a good result against a Jeruselem who was stuck with 3-3 draw in Crystalline Caverns last game. It was a good thing Abanhfleft and Mriin also drew last round. Ok Jeruselem's defense seems a bit leaky still, 3 last game and today we leaked 2 goals. Does it mean we lost 2-0? Not really, we won 5-2. Yes we're scoring LOTS OF GOALS, right girls?

Girls: GO JERUSELEM!

Five goals at home, our home form is much better away. Our away form is pretty bad except for that one game we beat Abanhfleft 3-1. But at home, we're pretty good and today was classic game for us. Not for Mareibat. They got two goals, good on them but they can't defense to save their cup campaign. All round good result other than our iffy defense. I don't really need to go through the boring details of who scored what and when. That's not important, it's the 3 points that's important. My non-twin sister Katya Dallas had an outstanding day with 2 assists and 2 goals. She's related but rather distantly. She's not Princess.

To the other games in Group 11. Dreamplanet crashed to 4-0 loss in Abanhfleft. Crystalline Caverns beat Lycrabon in Lycrabon who are still last. Sultanate of Oontaz and Neo-Romanum decided scoring goals was boring and had a 0-0 draw. Mriin put another nail in Darkmania's coffin with 5-2 win. Yes, Mriin won 5-2 ... the same as us.

The table is ... much the same with the top 3 still Mriin, Abanhfleft and us in the playoff spots. Mareibat and Neo-Romanum were eliminated today. Those two are 8th and 9th. Darkmania cling to 4th, with Sultanate of Oontaz 5th and Dreamplanet 6th. Crystalline Caverns are 7th and next to be eliminated. There's two six point gap between 3rd and 4th. But 5 points between 4th and 7th. Those teams are finding the top 3 a bit of problem as we keep on racking up points.

Quick look at the tables. Group 1 have Turori leading, and they have not lost a game. New Lusitania are 2nd while Valladares holds onto 3rd who a pack of teams ready to pounce. Cosumar lead Group 2 with one loss but they look strong. Juvencus have 2nd spot but Acapais and The Macabees aren't far away the 3rd playoff. Barunia have fight on their hands leading group 3, but Drawkland are one win off the leaders.

The Holy Empire in Group 4 have subdue Apox and Yuezhou who aren't far off. Then we have 4 teams wanting 3rd spot. My God, Group 5 have Starblaydia and Audioslavia! We know them. We might see them in the finals again. 3rd spot is scrap between the teams who haven't been eliminated. Group 6 has Farfadillis looking supreme. Super-Llamaland and Indusse hold 2nd and 3rd but these could swap.

Group 7, Eura have a PERFECT RECORD. North Prarie are 11 points behind already and Mattijana are 3rd. Ethane, we know them, in Group 8 also have a PERFECT RECORD. Damukuni and Devonta are left to fight for 2nd spot. Group 9 is a dogfight between Valanora, Polkopia and Qusmo. Throw in New Gazi in 4th and even Eastfield Lodge in 5th.

Group 10, Equestrian States head off Saltstead and Garifunya. Northwest Kalactin and Lochario can challengr given good results. Group 11, three points between the top 3. That's our group if you haven't been paying much attention. Group 12 has Nephara and Eshan looking good. Cosneolta has a chance still.

Group 13, Vilita lead Mercedini by one win. The others are way off. Tobiasia should stay 3rd. Group 14, Kita-Hinode have 4 contenders to beat out. This one will be impossible to pick. We have 5 teams in a prime position for 3 spots. Group 15, Pasarga and Qasden have the competition under control. 3 teams fight the 3rd spot here.

Group 16, Brenecia have having a bit of holiday. 12 out of 12. Tinhampton at their heels for 2nd spot. Octinstine are in the mix with 4th spot. Group 17, Baker Park and Darmen are safe unless they make a complete mess of it. Coldfield must hold out our friends Taeshan for 3rd. Group 18, Ko-oren and South Covello look safe. Flardania have to keep the Kryties at bay for 3rd. Group 19, Chromatika lead a pack Nova Anglicana, Savojarna and South Toronto.

OK, last time I summarised our TEN types of Visa to get here. A lot of people found it very useful because the web site was written by lawyers it seems. OK, Visas seem VERY expensive. That's because of all the zeros ... but don't worry. Convert your local currency to ours, and it's fine. That's because our currency seems to be growing zeros to it and looks bad. Once you get past that, it's not that bad. No, the immigration department do not take crypto currencies.

Male travellers seem to note our air hostesses all seem to be, you know like models. No that's not accidental, we have the prettiest women and one of places you see them are in our planes. It's actually very hard to become an air hostess just due to the competition for those jobs. Of course what happens is you get a lot of the prettier girls in that job. So what happens the rest have to meet that standard, so anyone who doesn't ... probably doesn't get the job. It's just the reality.

Actually even our football team has some of prettier girls too. No we don't expect them look like Princesses ...

Group 11
Abanhfleft 4–0 Dreamplanet
Lycrabon 0–1 Crystalline Caverns
Jeruselem 5–2 Mareibat
Sultanate of Oontaz 0–0 Neo-Romanum
Mriin 5–2 Darkmania

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

I'm back, bitches! As I promised, I am returning to the Football Fallacies and leaving all that Rugby Rundown stuff back where it should be right now: in the back burner. Today and for the rest of the qualifying campaign, my page will be dedicated for football and football only. And now that we're 1/3 of the way through the second half of World Cup 81 qualifying, let's have a little glance at what's happened over the first three games of the second half of our qualifying campaign.

Game Ten: Abanhfleft vs. Lycrabon (Stadion de December 27, Imgortur, Verbergerkinnh Province)

      ABANHFLEFT 3 - 0 LYCRABON
   V. ZIMA (28')
     DAGEN (52')
R. EDWARDS (70')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Abanhfleft: 59%
Lycrabon: 41%
Shots
Abanhfleft: 14 (8 on target)
Lycrabon: 6 (3 on target)
Corners
Abanhfleft: 9
Lycrabon: 3
Fouls
Abanhfleft: 22
Lycrabon: 20

Another game, another win for Abanhfleft to start off the second half of qualifying. Lycrabon paid our boys a visit at the Stadion de December 27 in Imgortur which is once again serving as both a baseball and football stadium after Verbergerkinnhese separatists damaged Locomotive Stadium in a mortar attack on the provincial capital, and everyone wore black armbands to commemorate the attack even though nobody actually died. But the attack is not the topic of our discussion at the moment, so let's get back on track with what we're really here to talk about, which is Abanhfleft's victory over Lycrabon at home.

It was a dominant Abanhfleft performance, plain and simple. Lycrabon tried their best, they really did, but our Revolutionaries simply overwhelmed them, most especially in the midfield. That was where this game was won, and the likes of Cedric Pearson, Valery Zolnerov and Andrea Marilungo never let Lycrabon forget that. In fact, it was Pearson's tackle on a Lycrabonian midfielder that started off the move that resulted in Abanhfleft's first goal of the night, an absolute thumping strike into the roof of the net from Vitaly Zima's right foot. Lycrabon didn't allow any more goals for the rest of the first half, but the pressure was getting to them; you can see it in their eyes and their movement. And when Kareem Dagen slipped through the cracks in their defense once again to double Abanhfleft's advantage, that was the moment that the fight finally left the Lycrabonians. You could tell by the way that their defenders gave up on the chase when Andrea Marilungo threaded the ball through to Rory Edwards, and although the Lycrabon goalkeeper managed to block the ball with his body, the ball still had enough power to sail over him and end up in the back of the net anyway. It was the kind of shitty night that people of all ages would pay to forget. That is, if they were Lycrabonians or fans of the Lycrabon football team.

Game Eleven: Darkmania vs. Abanhfleft (Tÿramël Städÿon, Rësbyr, Darkmania)

██████DARKMANIA 2 - 2 ABANHFLEFT
ÅRDALBERG (50')       ZOLNEROV (15')
 PËRSATER (82')       EL SALAH (73')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Darkmania: 50%
Abanhfleft: 50%
Shots
Darkmania: 5 (3 on target)
Abanhfleft: 10 (5 on target)
Corners
Darkmania: 4
Abanhfleft: 3
Fouls
Darkmania: 15
Abanhfleft: 22

We now arrive at the first banana peel that our Revolutionaries have stepped (and slipped) on, and that is the away game against Darkmania. It's hard to tell you what's more frustrating: the fact that we couldn't hold a two-goal lead yet again or the fact that dropping those two points was potentially fatal to our hopes of World Cup qualification. The only consolation that I could get from this is that both Mriin and Jeruselem also dropped points against opposition that you would have fancied those teams beating handily so everything stayed the same and nobody could take advantage of anybody slipping up. But we all know that such a state of affairs couldn't last that long. Someone will end up slipping up somewhere, whether it's us, Mriin, or Jeruselem, and when that happens the other two teams could very well take advantage.

But enough about the potential scenarios that we could be facing coming into the home stretch of the qualification. Let's focus on the game against Darkmania. In hindsight, I can say that this game was actually pretty balanced but while I was watching it, I felt as if it was Darkmania who had the upper hand for the vast majority of the ninety minutes. And both of our games came through sheer luck, or at least that's my opinion of the whole thing. Val Zolnerov's shot from outside the box somehow made it through the forest of bodies crowding the box and into the back of the net to open up the scoring, but Darkmania were always threatening to score, even if they weren't. And score they eventually did when Årdalberg was played through on goal by Rånde and chipped the ball over the rushing Guildenstern Cardew.

And then Omar El Salah appeared on the scene, as he often does not during World Cup qualification, and then by an incredible amount of good fortune, El Salah found himself successfully making a tackle on Yürang and getting himself a clear shot on goal with only Ërimär in the way of the ball and the net. El Salah aimed for the bottom left corner and found it despite Ërimär getting a fingertip on the ball (I think it was his middle finger as well that got the touch). Now surely Abanhfleft are on their way to three precious, precious points, right? Not exactly, no. Because, as the game entered its last ten minutes, Abanhfleft began to get both cocky and sloppy at the same time, and that is one of the worst combinations you could ever possibly have on a football pitch. And it was one such sloppy pass from Marilungo to El Salah that allowed Përsater to sneak in, steal the ball, make a run up the length of the pitch and then send the ball into the top right corner to steal two points from Abanhfleft. If that doesn't leave a bitter taste in your mouth then I don't know what will.

Oh, and for a P.S. for this section, apparently, Darkmania is only now accepting the fact that they might not make it to the World Cup, operative word now. Now I don't wanna be mean or anything but if you think that you could possibly sneak into the World Cup after scraping a few wins and draws against the legitimate World Cup qualification challengers then you've got another thing coming. Now I just cursed our team to lose all their remaining games and let Darkmania actually slip into the World Cup. Jinx!

Game Twelve: Abanhfleft vs. Dreamplanet (Oubie Park, Lotharstadt, Xemlice Province)

             ABANHFLEFT 4 - 0 DREAMPLANET
            DAGEN (14')
V. ZIMA (37', 63', 74')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Abanhfleft: 63%
Dreamplanet: 37%
Shots
Abanhfleft: 22 (9 on target)
Dreamplanet: 6 (2 on target)
Corners
Abanhfleft: 10
Dreamplanet: 4
Fouls
Abanhfleft: 16
Dreamplanet: 21

You know what? I was going to say something about Abanhfleft's victory over Dreamplanet, but I have this weird feeling of unease about me. I distinctly remember that it was Kareem Dagen who scored a hat trick against the Dreamplanetians, not Vitaly Zima, and that one of the goals in this game was an own goal from Rui Jorge. Am I just dreaming this stuff up or am I suffering from a Mandela effect moment? What the heck is going on?

Well, let's just get to what I was supposed to say about Dreamplanet anyway. So, let's start off with the jinx I talked about in the section above about Darkmania. Obviously, the jinx didn't affect the game against Dreamplanet because I didn't jinx the team until now, when they're set to play against Mriin (at least I think it's Mriin). So Abanhfleft won against Dreamplanet. Well, not only did they win, they won handily, with Vitaly Zima netting his first hat trick for the national team since, well, I can't remember now actually. (It was in the home leg of our World Cup 79 qualifier against Equestrian States. Yes, we actually beat the Ponies once. Those were good times.)

We barely scraped past the Dreamplanetians in the away leg. Well, I say that but in truth we've been dominant, and it's only Luis Silva's late goal that made the game closer than it really was. Tonight though, it was a completely different story altogether. Kareem Dagen and Vitaly Zima both seem to like playing against Dreamplanet because they have already scored five goals combined in just two meetings against this team, and Zima could have had much, much more before the ninety minutes were even over. Give credit where credit is due though; Dreamplanet's defenders and goalkeeper all did a good job of making sure that Vitaly wouldn't score four or five goals in this one game (not that him scoring four or five would've been a bad thing).

So that does it for this edition of The Football Fallacies. Once again I will be taking a short break and then I will be back, maybe for yet another football flashback. Now I have to go and sort out my bearings because I sincerely and completely remember that it was Kareem Dagen who scored the hat trick and Rui Jorge scored an unlucky own goal. Damn, having the Mandela effect happen on me sucks arse... I'm so affected I can't even give you my customary XOXO so I'm just going to say love from Graham...

(OOC: This last part is simply a result of Dreamplanet posting their RP before mine. I already had the bare bones for this particular match up but got beaten to the punch by Dreamplanet so I had to change up some stuff. Luckily it's not a lot but it's still... it's enough to put my guy through a Mandela effect. Heck, I might put the whole team through a Mandela effect thing. This should be fun!)

[Kelssek]

Packed Ex sees Kelssek fall to Farfadillis
SPORTS | by Simon Albregh

A sold-out Exhibition Place in Kirkenes emerged in good spirits even as Kelssek lost 0-1 to Farfadillis, ending a run of four straight draws. Or four matches unbeaten, for the optimists who were clearly the dominant group in the capacity crowd. Yes, Kelssek is back at international football for the first time in many years, but there is little else to account for the strange hype building around a team performing much as expected and with no realistic hope of qualification.

The result means Kelssek have managed to scramble a point from two matches against the two highest-ranked teams in their qualifying group. The team answered manager Kirk McDonagh's challenge with a 2-2 draw at Semarland's Natunolstadion, setting up some excitement ahead of the fixture with the world's third-ranked team.

The crowd seemed happy to take a moral victory, rather than the highly unlikely upset they might have hoped for. Kelssek held out valiantly against a high-octane offence, no one could really quibble with the likes of Kassel Pokorný getting skinned that one time by players of Fôrté Wínrôuge's calibre, and Farfadillis manager Tíbürçìó Çötàvíê will have the sense of a job completed and three points in the bag.

That's just what top teams do, and win-win all round, then, which is much the impression that sunshine-and-rainbows Kelssek manager Kirk McDonagh gave in the post-match interviews. Insisting that the team continues to improve, he plied the hype-train inflected press corps with talk of "process" and "having the right attitude".

But this can't be the attitude McDonagh and the brass at Football Kelssek take in the future. Not if their ambition is to challenge for the World Cup, as they claim. They aren't going to build a team like the one Farfadillis sent out in Kirkenes overnight. In the end that is the standard they should be held to, but right now Kelssek are still a team for which others feel they can pencil in a night off for their first-choice goalkeeper. The haze of good vibes will be for naught if there aren't soon some real results.

KELSSEK 0-1 FARFADILLIS Exhibition Place, Kirkenes
Kelssek: Poirier, Liadon, Pokorný, Arbour, Bowler, Demetriev, Tremblay-Fillon (McDonagh 66'), Lapierre (Dionne 72'), Custworth, Lister, Taleb (Langelier 84')
Farfadillis: Tifoxé, Básá, Bajnok, Marchiondo, Wçêil, Eleonora, Sasca, Wínrôuge (Zsase 79'), t'Öéséné, Êns, Holsteiner (Wìjìnì 70').
Goalscorers: Farf. - Wínrôuge 47'
Attendance: 38,522

[Audioslavia]

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 6.5
Episode 7

Emberton was like Cathair, which was like Jhanna and Burningham and all the other capital cities in Atlantian Oceania. Too big, with too many people and too many buildings and too many architects paid far too much money to draw edgy things on paper which didn’t work when put alongside buildings from forty and four-hundred years ago. Emberton was even worse for being full of Krytenians, walking around with their faces and their accents like they were normal. Detective Inspector Rory Wyatt-Holmes shook his head. No. He wasn’t going to be a typical Audioslavian and think casually xenophobic thoughts about Krytenians. These people around him were the sort of people who were from a capital city, and so were twatwaffles in their own right.

He headed into the offices of the Emberton Post.

He headed back out almost immediately after realising that he actually needed to go to the offices of the Cy’un, the low-rent version of its more esteemed publishing rival.

Rameses Niblick the third, or ‘Rami’ as the man insisted he be called, was wearing a suit that looked like it had been expertly tailored for a much younger and slimmer Rami Niblick. The famed Krytenian journalist was holding a mobile phone in one hand and waving his left hand about to gesticulate various points to the person with whom he was having the conversation. He only paused from his miming to wave to Rory, swing open the door to his office and to wave Rory in. Rory stood and looked at the walls, covered in prints of former front pages of the newspaper, photographs of Rami in various places, including one seemingly on the touchline of a football pitch while wearing a cyan tie, pointing at an unseen footballer and shouting at him. Had Rami once managed the Krytenian national football team? Ah yes, he had. A World Cup match held during his childhood. A young Rory had marvelled at the odd little grey man managing Audioslavia in a game between the Aces and the Bulls. An odd little grey man in a long coat that looked like it hadn’t seen a dry cleaner in millennia being taken away by police for re-entering the dugout after being sent off. A very odd little grey man indeed.

Rami Niblick entered the room and shook hands with Rory, inviting him to sit down as he traversed round to his side of the desk.

“D.I. Wyatt-Holmes” said Rami, grinning. “I have to say that’s an excellent name you’ve chosen”
Rory wanted to nip this part of the conversation in the bud as quickly as possible, but to ensure he got the information from Rami that he needed he’d need to appear open and relaxed. He had a go at doing just that by offering a tame chuckle.
“What can I say. I should have been an amateur carpenter” replied Rory. “You weren’t always a journalist, it seems” he added, nodding at the photo on the wall behind Rami. Rami furrowed his brow, and got half way to turning round before he realised what Rory’s point was.
“Ah yes! Not my greatest moment, I suppose. Getting Krytenia to the World Cup was good but, ah, y’know, you Audioslavians spoiled our fun in the first round”
“I remember watching that match on the telly” said Rory, leaning back in his chair. “I hurt my knee on the coffee table celebrating our winning goal”
“Funnily enough I hurt my foot on a coffee table that evening” said Rami, “trying to kick one through the window of my hotel room”
“Ouch” said Rory, “I do hope you’re exaggerating”
“Of course” said Rami, reaching for an empty mug of coffee. “Would you like coffee? I can have some sent in?”
“Yes, that’d be great” said Rory. There’d been a time when he used to politely decline any offer made by people he was visiting to interview, believing it to be somehow wrong to take ‘presents’ from people. Age and reality had nipped that in the bud.
“What do you enjoy most. Journalism or football management?” Asked Rory. Rami began he sentence with a jour before stopping and thinking.
“Y’know, I’ve been famous for as long as I remember. A little bit more so when I was the manager, but not so much more. I wasn’t suited to it, really, not like I am to this, but I tell you, having a group of twenty-somethings and teenagers and watching them grow over the course of a couple of years beats trying to get this mob of forty-somethings to do their job to a reasonable standard every week”
“I know what you mean” said Rory. “Audioslavian coppers are the same”
“Still. Journalism is what I do. I’m good at it. I’m sure you’re a good detective” said Rami, with an eye meandering in Rory’s general direction, showing that the Krytenian hack still had is guard up, if only a little. The coffee arrived. Both men thanked the secretary and stayed quiet until she left. Rory decided it was time to get down to business.
“You say you’ve been famous as long as you can remember. Exactly how far can you remember?” He asked. Rami grinned.
“A couple of centuries plus a bit here or there. Not my choice, but there it is in my DNA.”
“C.C.I.” said Rory. “Convenient Character Immortality. Or, to give it it’s popular title”
“Jaffacake Syndrome” said Rami, sighing.
“Does that rankle?”
“Well, no. He was the original. The first to have the CCI gene observed in his DNA. There were others before him, but they probably died” said Rami. Rory frowned. “Yes” said Rami. “Immortality isn’t quite the best term to use. You can still die. Gunshot wound, sledgehammer, cliff drop, falling piano, disease, walking through parts of Emberton at night, that kind of thing. It’s just. Well. No natural causes. Look after yourself and you’ll be doing fun things like watching your fiftieth World Cup final or burying your great great great grandkids.”
“If it’s genetic, then are you two…”
“No” said Rami, “I mean, well, not by blood. Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips is the closest we get to being related. He got the gene too. Sometimes it’s passed on genetically, sometimes it isn’t, sometimes it develops of its own accord. I’m sure CCI isn’t the reason you came all this way to Emberton, though”
“Well, actually, it rather is” said Rory. Rami leaned forwards in his chair.
“Really?”
“We’ve uncovered a body” said Rory. Rami’s eyes grew wide. “He’d been dead for quite some time. A century, so we think. No traceable next of kin still alive. We think you may have known him. Have you had any of your staff go missing with no explanation over the years?”
“Over the course of a century?” Said Rami, “yes. Hundreds. Journalists are a fickle bunch. If they want to go from one job to the next they don’t always hand their month notice in. They follow the money. Do you have a name?”
“We do” said Rami. “Joseph Ojosangel”
Rami stared at a point just above and to the left of Rory’s head, slowly narrowing his eyes.
“Definitely rings a bell. He definitely worked for me. I can have a look at the system for you if you… no. I’ve got it. A century ago, yes.
“Can you pull him up on the system anyway?” Asked Rory.
“I can. There” said Rami, tilting the monitor of his computer towards Rory. “Joseph Ojosangel. Blue eyes. Hence the name. You like your Audioslavians to named after a character trait, don’t you? We tend to go for minor RL States celebrities over here”
“That looks like it might be our guy… wait, ‘your Audioslavians’?
“This guy here was Audioslavian. Worked for us alongside Rubio Sanchez and a known associate of a certain Jeremy Jaffacake. I didn’t deal with him too much. He was here for a year, maybe two”
“You remember any conversations with him?” Asked Rory, “Fallings out, arguments, did he come to you worried about something”
“I can have a look at my files from that time but it’ll be a slow process. Something I might be better off emailing to you” said Rami. “Honestly, it was so long ago. Your memory gets blurry after a hundred years. I remember he went by an alias. ‘Scoop’. A self-given nickname. The worst kind of nickname.”
“Aye” said Rory. “If you can send us any information you have on him that’d be grand. Give your memory a jog too. You mentioned a… Rudi Sanchez?”
“Rubio Sanchez. Krytenian. Another one with CCI, though he’s largely retired with his missus. Last I heard from him he was travelling. Might still be based out of Puerta Cruz in Audioslavia. And I’m sure you know how to get hold of Jeremy Jaffacake”
“He’s more elusive these days, since he became the subject of that enormous FFA snafu, but I’ll find him.”
“I’m sure you will, detective inspector. Do say hello from me, won’t you” said Rami, sipping his coffee. “I’m sure he’d love to know I pointed the police his way during a murder investigation”
“Murder?” Asked Rory, looking at Rami blankly. “I don’t remember calling this a murder”
“No” said Rami, putting his coffee mug back on his desk a little too carefully for Rory’s liking. “But there’s very little chance of it being old age.”
“He had CCI?” Asked Rory, surprised.
“No. He was thirty-seven”
“Ah. Yeah. Right. Still. Could have been natural causes. We’re making no assumptions” said Rory, getting up. “Thank you very much for your time Mr. Niblick. We’ll be paying a visit to Jeremy Jaffacake very shortly”
“No problem at all, detective” said Rami. “If you don’t mind me prying, though, where was the body found?”
“The Supreme Court” said Rory, putting on his coat.
“The club?” Asked Rami
“Yes and no” said Rory. “It’s a club now, but back at the time of Mr. Ojosangel’s death it would still have been the nation’s Supreme Court building”
“Huh” said Rami. “I… I don’t know why he would have been there?”
“Really” said Rory. “Do you think he was sent there by the Cy’un?”
“A sports reporter?” Said Rami, his hand now moved up to his chin, deep in thought. “I don’t know. Honestly, though, anything we find on him we’ll email straight to you. I’ll look into this personally”
“Thank you” said Rory, buttoning his coat. “G’dafternoon Mr. Niblick”
“You too, detective”

[The Macabees]

LOLITA, CH. 13

All Bernie was thinking was, 'I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.' His leg had started to shake and he dug his hands deeper into his pockets to hide the sweat that was rolling down them like rain on a window. Tongue was wetting the lips, his eyes shifted nervously between the two head mafiosos, Lolita, and the blood that was flowing down toward his foot. Not his blood. Henrrek's. Shot, just like that, without a second thought. Dead forever. And Bernie was next, he knew it deep down in his core, where fear vibrated like a pang. He closed his eyes, but when they reopened everyone and everything was still exactly where it was before.

"Relax," said Lolita, her sweet voice more soothing that one would suspect from a woman who had basically ruined his life.

"Relax?" he questioned, the exasperation high in his voice. "How can you tell me to relax? I'm sitting in front of two of the most dangerous people in the city, the only person here who was ever on my side is dead, and now I have to call my friend and ask him for ten million ríokmarks. I don't even think he has ten million ríokmarks."

Laurens' face had not changed expressions. It was still as hard as ever. "Bernie," he said, "calm down. Lakén is a football player, of course he has the money. That's why you're alive. Otherwise, I'd have killed you already."

"Yes, did you really think you have value to us on your own?" asked Guus, chuckling. "Do as we say, and you'll be alright."

"The mafia does not pay traitors," repeated Bernie. It was a miracle he could speak at all. He felt like melting where he sat, like disappearing forever. That sort of magic would have been benevolent now, a merciful act of the gods. But it did not come. It was slowly coming to him that sooner or later he would have to deal with this reality.

"Make the call, Bernie." It was Lolita again.

He looked at her. This all stemmed from one night. One night he thought she was just another girl, another dumb girl looking to hook up with a football player. Dumb enough to sleep with that player's friend, thinking that that would give her the golden ticket. He realized that she never wanted that golden ticket. Her plan was never to sleep with Lakén. This was a setup from the beginning. But if it wasn't her father's idea, then who's? Why had she done this? Why him? Staring into her emerald green eyes that contrasted so sharply from her dark brown hair, he said, "I will make the call, but Yori doesn't have that kind of money."

It was Laurens who answered. "She can't help you," he said. "Anyway, I know very well what money Lakén Yori has. I know that his contract is for three million ríokmark a year. I also know he signed that contract three years ago and that this world cup will land him a big renegotiation, if not here in the domestic league then internationally."

Bernie hadn't thought about that, although he really doubted Lakén was going to make anywhere near ten million dollars a year. Maybe he would barely make that during the length of the contract, but the way Lakén Yori liked to spend his money there was going to very little left for Bernie's ransom. He wanted to scream. He wanted to break down. But he didn't, because he knew it was futile. Something worse was happening: he was losing hope.

The one called Guus leveled the handgun at him. Its black metal spout was pointed directly at his head. "Make the call," said Guus.

Bernie picked up the phone off the table. It was already set to Lakén's number. He pressed the green dial button. "Leave it on speaker," said Laurens.

Someone picked up from the other side. "What's up, Henrrek? All good with the...uh, mission? How's my boy Bernie doing? I'm worried about him. I was a little harsh on him earlier this morning, I was only trying to get him out of the house so he'd meet up with you and get this whole thing resolved, so—"

"Yori, it's Bernie," he said, his voice quivering. Guus was giving him a dangerous look. "Look, um, things have...changed. Henrrek is...um...um...Henrrek's not with us anymore. Just, uh, didn't make it man." His voice was getting weaker. The blood was collecting by his feet. "Just me here, man, and the mafia."

"Oh," said Lakén. There was a moment of silence, then, "So, I'm guessing they want money."

"Ten million," said Bernie.

Another moment of silence, this one longer than the last. Then, "Ten million? I hope that's play money. Where the hell am I supposed to get ten million ríokmarks, Bern?"

"You got that big contract coming up, don't you?" asked Bernie.

More silence. "That ain't my money yet," responded Lakén. "Besides, that's like...everything, all of it."

"They're going to kill me, man." Bernie's voice was getting more and more desperate. "They have a gun pointed at my head right now."

"Hi there, Lakén," said Guus. "Big fan."

"Yea, I'm sure," said the football player over the phone. "Relax Bern, just relax. I'll figure it out. Just, just give me some time. I'll figure out. Relax man, they're not going to kill you. That would be...like, that would be, like, illegal, man.
They can't do that. They'd go to jail."

Guus and Laurens looked at each other. Laurens said, "You did hear that we're mafia, right? Local police are in our pocket."

"I'll figure it out. Give me some time." This time Lakén sounded like he was panicking. The phone suddenly clicked and the line went dead. Well, that went horribly. Laurens tisked and curved his mouth in disapproval. Guus, even less patient than his brother, pulled the hammer back on the handgun. His look looked diabolic, murderous.

[Blaneu]

The Cape Chronicle

---

Opinion: Press On With The Changes

In the wake of Ojo Navarro's return you can already feel the press starting to get excited about Blaneu's prospects again, many now say a run of form surely awaits, and with it a potential long shot punt at World Cup qualification. They are, however, wrong. Blaneu's World Cup qualification campaign is, in effect, already over, even despite Navarro's hattrick scoring heroics against Hertisiana.

Blaneu are now seven points adrift of second spot, and thus the prospect of qualifying directly or making the play-offs. Next up Blaneu are facing North Prarie, but even a victory would leave Blaneu needing to make up the 4 point gap over the course of the next 5 games, a difficult ask, especially given the lack of depth in the squad and the fact that Fitzstephens remains injured. So, short of a miracle win this weekend at the Bayside Ground, what should Snellbridge aim to do?

Well, given that it seemed the consensus before qualifying, perhaps now is the time to overhaul the squad somewhat and blood some new young talent? Looking at the team and Vernon and Hollands are both looking increasingly like their bolt is shot, both are now rapidly approaching their mid-30s and it is fairly clear that Sean MacDermot and Elliot Sketty should both be far more talented footballers than them by this time next cycle. Moreover, Tudur Aled looks increasingly strong in goal and will surely take O'Brian's place sooner or later (even if O'Brian continues to be in solid form). Aled particularly has improved his leadership from the back and could be a real asset to the back line, as well as a shot-stopper.

Elsewhere and whilst those on the pitch in midfield and attack are significantly younger and more talented than the backline, there remains some deadwood off the bench. Players like Leslie Driscoll, Iain French and John Hartson all likely merit inclusion presently, however it is unlikely that they represent the squad's future. Instead players like Cadwgawn Blaney and Bryn Jenkins probably merit inclusion ahead of them despite the fact they're very young and not quite up to the standard. Both also merit inclusion as, with Fitzstephens out injured, they represent options for a more attacking play-maker in the team to complement the more defensive Aaron Starkey. This role has been particularly difficult to fill as Apnest looks uncomfortable playing such a pivotal role, and Caradog Gwent seems to struggle to press as high as he is required to.

Overall I imagine that this advice will be ignored for the time being, if Blaneu still have a chance of qualifying then the pressure is on Snellbridge to deliver it. Regardless, it should be considered if Blaneu lose to North Prarie, a result that would effectively end the campaign. This point is made pertinent by the fact that there will be no real chance to try out players until the next time qualification comes about. In the interim are likely to be the Cup of Harmony, where Blaneu are likely to try their hand at going into the knockout stages, and the Independents' Cup, which again the pressure is on to put the best foot forward. Overall, then, this is the last chance to give some of these young promising players a run out in a situation where defeat doesn't mean as much. Without playing in such games Snellbridge will be stuck blooding his younger players in dead-rubber friendlies.

[Adab]

Adab has unveiled their song for the 41st World Hit Festival. Following the country's shock appearance at the grand final of the previous edition, having defied the predictions of even the most diehard Adabian music fans by getting through the semi-final (though they ended up placing only 13th in the final), there has been a lot of pressure for the country's next entry to perform well and justify Adab's continued involvement in the festival. Only time will tell if this song will live up to the expectations.

XX. Adab
"God's Been Good" - Jonah Etu
Language(s): English
Lyrics: Jonah Etu, Kinan al-Salaman
Music: Jonah Etu, Kinan al-Salaman
Tune: The Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby

Jonah Etu interviewed at home by The Adab Times

Background
Adab's entry at the 40th World Hit Festival, "I'm on Your Side" by Shamsi Ara, made it past the semi-final stage and placed 13th at the grand final. Overall there were mixed feelings about the song; that the song actually survived the semi-finals was no small triumph in itself, especially when more than a few listeners in the country doubted the song's quality, but its placing in the final was eventually regarded as somewhat of a disappointment, especially after it had made it this far. Nevertheless, the song itself was a commercial success, hitting number one on the Adabian charts. That, combined with the song's surprise appearance at the final, gave hope that there was a future for Adab in the World Hit Festival after all.

Without hesitation, Adab confirmed its participation in the next edition of the festival. This was to be Kinan al-Salaman's last hurrah as the country's WHF songwriter, having decided to take an "indefinite hiatus" from WorldVision and WHF songwriting and focus on running his growing business empire. The country as a whole looked forward to their next WHF song, but soon rumors began swirling regarding the country's latest effort. That the powers that be in Adab's music industry even cared about WHF in the first place had been a point of contention ever since the country joined the festival; it was widely believed - and this was not wholly unsubstantiated - that the music industry had always prioritized WorldVision over WHF, that al-Salaman intended WHF as a showcase for his weaker songs which didn't make the cut for WorldVision (he had denied this several times), and that funds which could have been used for the country's WHF efforts were constantly being redirected to the Adab WorldVision Committee. Questions regarding Adab's willingness to even participate in WHF grew stronger when the country's World Hit Festival Committee delayed the release of its latest song to Adabian radio, claiming delays in recording and producing. An anonymous member of the committee was quoted in The Adab Times as saying that time and budget constraints meant that Adab's WHF performance would have to be "severely scaled down" from that in the previous edition.

The choice of artist clearly didn't help matters. When Jonah Etu was signed to Al-Salaman Records and announced as the country's WHF standard-bearer, al-Salaman and the WHF Committee came under severe criticism and questions were asked over why Etu, of all people, was chosen to represent Adab at the festival, or why al-Salaman even considered signing him at all. Etu was a 53-year-old singer and guitarist who made quite a name for himself in the Baghdad music scene with a mixture of parody and socially-conscious songs, but was unknown to the rest of the country. When not making music, he worked as general manager at a local grocery store to supplement his income. Al-Salaman stated that he wanted to provide "something fresh and new" to WHF, which many took as a sign that he couldn't find artists willing to represent the country at the festival. This latest WHF effort was co-written by Etu and al-Salaman; though quickly denied by both men, it was said that they clashed on everything ranging from the music to the lyrics and mixing. Publicly, they put on a united front, stating, "We are ready for the World Hit Festival, and I believe the multiverse is ready for us."

The performance
The lights were off, the LED screen was all black, and nothing could be seen onstage, leaving the audience pondering what would happen next. It remained that way for the next few minutes, with those in the front row recognizing what seemed to be a series of silhouettes moving back and forth across the stage, setting up equipment or checking the instruments or carrying a bunch of things or doing whatever they were doing. Many in the audience were talking and whispering among themselves, wondering what was really going on up there, when the lights began to glow once again, brilliant blue slowly enveloping the stage. The LED screen began to turn blue, too, and by now the stage had become visible to the audience in its entirety.

There was no orchestra; the spot intended for them had instead been occupied by the drummer and ten members of the University of Adab Choir beside him. All of them were male. The drummer was wearing a tuxedo, while the choir members opted for more casual looks in T-shirts and jeans. Just ahead of them they were flanked by the guitarist and bassist to the left and the keyboardist to the right, the three of them dressed entirely in black. Behind them the LED screen was now showing pictures of a sleepy neighborhood somewhere in Adab City.

Finally, taking center stage was the man himself. With the spotlight pointing down on him, a lone spot of white in a sea of blue, Jonah Etu sat by a humble wooden table, hand wrapped around the mic. It was a surreally domestic setting; tea and bottled water were on the table, along with Darwin's book The Descent of Man. Jonah was wearing a blue-green Hawaiian shirt, a sun hat, and shorts. The instrumentalists had begun playing, and the voices of the choir members echoed across the venue.

Italics sung by the choir

Yes I'd say life's been unfair to me
One, two, or three times
I know I should be mad
But look at the greater picture
I still haven't gone mad yet

Now I look all around me
And it warms my heart very much
When I say (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
Everything is in the right place

God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me

Jonah took a sip of tea as the choir members made themselves heard all around the venue, their ethereal voices filling the air. The audience's eyes followed Jonah with every movement he made, no matter how small. Many in the audience were talking among themselves, wondering why the singer refused to leave his seat. Meanwhile, the LED screen was now showing a video of people enjoying themselves on a sunny afternoon by the coast of the Red Sea.

There's been a few times when I've been angry at myself
But then again it's all good in the end
I can't find anything to complain about life
When every blessing has come my way

All the joy and happiness
And I am so thankful
When I say (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
Everything is in the right place

God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me

As Jonah took it upon himself to drink some water, a man came over from backstage - apparently a member of the Adabian entourage who traveled with Jonah - and whispered something to Jonah, after which the latter handed him Darwin's book. The man disappeared backstage as quickly as he had appeared. Behind them the LED screen was now featuring people going about their business in downtown Adab City.

While brothers wage war against brothers
And the eye of death haunts every land
Well I'm sitting here singing this song
Thinking that life has been so good to me

Oh I've been a lucky man
And I always remember it
When I say (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
Everything is in the right place

God's been good to me (God's been good to me)
God's been good to me

The LED screen slowly faded into black, and the voices of the choir gradually dissipated over the next minute. Jonah finished the tea, and then the water, as the instruments sounded the last notes of the song. When it was all over, Jonah rose from his seat for the first time since before the performance and gathered everyone at the front of the stage for a final bow to the audience. The Adabians in the audience rose to their feet themselves, cheering and applauding loudly in a show of support. Everyone else applauded, too, though more than a few did it out of politeness more than anything. Jonah, the band, and the choir then disappeared backstage, taking the chair and table with them.

[San Regada]

Has the momentum on the pitch been capitulated?

The Super Eagles are in an awkwardly tough spot as they battle for a place at the top of Group Three. Arguably, the start to San Regada's World Cup Qualifying has been the best in its history, with four wins against Egyptosian, Shayla, Kavagrad, and Kedroiqua, only suffering a 6-2 defeat to the highly ranked Drawkland. The low scoring nature of of the Super Eagles so during their first five games however, has been a cause for concern across the nation, with many fans agreeing that it may be time to switch up the play style, however there is divide as to whether the Super Eagles should be more attacking, balanced, or defensive on the pitch. The 6-2 defeat, combined with various other historical World Cup Qualifying losses, proves that the system does not work against significantly higher ranked teams, and with San Regada often feeling as if it draws the short end of the stick when it comes to its group, it presents a serious problem for the national team. On the pitch, the momentum seems to have died out and capitulated, with the Super Eagles going from 4 wins and 1 loss to 7 wins and 4 losses, sparking a whole range of tensions on and off the pitch - including riots in San Antonio. However, there may be hope once more after for the Super Eagles after they were somehow able to hold off Drawkland for a 1-1 draw after initially going behind. As San Regada is locked in a tight battle with Natanians and Nosts and Kavagrad, the rest of the qualifying campaign could swing either way with 6 more games to go, however, it is unlikely that group leaders Barunia and Drawkland can be dislodged from their comfortable positions, and with 4 teams already essentially out it is more or less a battle for 3rd place, hoping Omerica slips up.

[Turori]

Turori [4] - [2] Valladares

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 3' Cocoabo #99 :: 10' Cocoabo #91 :: 44' Cocoabo #99 :: 71' Cocoabo #57

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 58% :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 11

:: Valladares Statistics :: :: Possession: 42% :: Shots on Target: 7 :: Corner Kicks: 16

---

Turori's National Cocoabo Squad Lineup v. Valladares ::
[GK]Cocoabo #86, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [ML] Cocoabo #72, [MC] Cocoabo #64, [MC]Cocoabo #71, [MR] Cocoabo #61, [FC] Cocoabo #90, [FC]Cocoabo #91, [FC]Cocoabo #99
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #94, [FC]Cocoabo #97, [M]Cocoabo #46, [M]Cocoabo #65, [U ]Cocoabo #63, [D]Cocoabo #56, [GK]Cocoabo #85

---

After 1 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [2] - [2] Petrovskia

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 69' Cocoabo #58 :: 84' Cocoabo #65

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 56% :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 8

:: Petrovskia Statistics :: :: Possession: 44% :: Shots on Target: 7 :: Corner Kicks: 9

---

Turori's National Cocoabo Squad Lineup v. Petrovskia ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [D.]Cocoabo #59, [ML] Cocoabo #64, [MC] Cocoabo #71, [MC]Cocoabo #62, [MC] Cocoabo #61, [MR] Cocoabo #60, [FC]Cocoabo #97, [FC]Cocoabo #99
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #98, [FC]Cocoabo #91, [M]Cocoabo #46, [M]Cocoabo #65, [U ]Cocoabo #94, [D]Cocoabo #53, [GK]Cocoabo #87

---

After 2 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [4] - [1] Gudalajara

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 52' Meldi'ita Mungwaii :: 57' Meldi'ita Mungwaii :: 73' Daliora Toru'u :: 80' Mirana Gotuai

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 62% :: Shots on Target: 8 :: Corner Kicks: 4

:: Gudalajara Statistics :: :: Possession: 38% :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 6

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Gudalajara ::
[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Geafi Laina-Sola, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [ML] Timi'sala Koarena, [MC] Kigaoua Oalalka, [MC] Saito Koshiki, [MC] Kentu Umaka'a, [MR] Indelli Nura'amura, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Inamari Altariiz

---

[i]After 3 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [1] - [0] Central Shaneville

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 61' Timi'sala Koarena

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 56% :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 5

:: Central Shaneville Statistics :: :: Possession: 44% :: Shots on Target: 1 :: Corner Kicks: 2

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Central Shaneville ::
[GK] G.Q Disterfred II, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Mikki Mayelli, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Geafi Laina-Sola, [ML] Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Timi'sala Koarena, [MC] Saito Koshiki, [MR] Kigaoua Oalalka, [FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia
BENCH::
[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Inamari Altariiz, [M] Indelli Nura'amura, [M] Kentu Umaka'a, [U ] Mirana Gotuai, [D] Dmitri Levada, [GK] Mitimi Obalialo

---

After 4 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [1] - [0] Beepee

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 79' Inamari Altariiz

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 61% :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 4

:: Beepee Statistics :: :: Possession: 39% :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 4

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Beepee ::
[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Inaosnaa Klanoa, [D.] Dmitri Levada, [ML] Indelli Nura'amura, [MC] Saito Koshiki, [MC] Timi'sala Koarena, [MR] Daliora Toru'u, [FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii
BENCH::
[FC] Inamari Altariiz, [FC] Mirana Gotuai, [M] Kentu Umaka'a, [M] Kigaoua Oalalka, [U ] Enluta Makakio, [D] Mikki Mayelli, [GK] G.Q Disterfred II

---

After 5 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [4] - [0] Michine

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 1' Cocoabo #60 :: 68' Cocoabo #91 :: 80' Cocoabo #58 :: 86' Cocoabo #62

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 63% :: Shots on Target: 10 :: Corner Kicks: 8

:: Michine Statistics :: :: Possession: 37% :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 1

---

Turori's National Cocoabo Squad Lineup v. Michine ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #59, [ML] Cocoabo #72, [MC] Cocoabo #64, [MC]Cocoabo #62, [MC] Cocoabo #65, [MR] Cocoabo #60, [FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #94
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #98, [FC]Cocoabo #91, [M]Cocoabo #61, [M]Cocoabo #46, [U ]Cocoabo #54, [D]Cocoabo #57, [GK]Cocoabo #88

---

After 6 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [0] - [0] New Lusitania

:: Turori Goalscorers ::

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 52% :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 7

:: New Lusitania Statistics :: :: Possession: 48% :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 6

---

Turori's National Cocoabo Squad Lineup v. New Lusitania ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [ML] Cocoabo #71, [MC] Cocoabo #61, [MC]Cocoabo #64, [MC] Cocoabo #46, [MR] Cocoabo #65, [FC]Cocoabo #97, [FC]Cocoabo #99
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #98, [FC]Cocoabo #94, [M]Cocoabo #62, [M]Cocoabo #72, [U ]Cocoabo #90, [D]Cocoabo #54, [GK]Cocoabo #87

---

After 7 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [4] - [0] Jeckland

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 31' Nua'oma Aikiki :: 32' Daliora Toru'u :: 36' Inamari Altariiz :: 58' Mikki Mayelli

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 61% :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 7

:: Jeckland Statistics :: :: Possession: 39% :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 2

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Jeckland ::
[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Mikki Mayelli, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [ML] Teliima Loinara, [MC] Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Timi'sala Koarena, [MR] Daliora Toru'u, [FC] Inamari Altariiz, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Mirana Gotuai
BENCH::
[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [M] Aiden Varess, [M] Indelli Nura'amura, [U ] Nii'arala Milaaso, [D] Lulu Pumaziiri, [GK] G.Q Disterfred II

---

After 8 of 18 Matchdays:

Turori [2] - [0] Ndaku

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 30' Kigaoua Oalalka :: 31' Meldi'ita Mungwaii

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 63% :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 3

:: Ndaku Statistics :: :: Possession: 37% :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 1

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Ndaku ::
[GK] G.Q Disterfred II, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Geafi Laina-Sola, [ML] Aiden Varess, [MC] Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Kigaoua Oalalka, [MC] Saito Koshiki, [MR] Kentu Umaka'a, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia
BENCH::
[FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Mirana Gotuai, [M] Indelli Nura'amura, [M] Timi'sala Koarena, [U ] Mikki Mayelli, [D] Oani Moralziia, [GK] Mitimi Obalialo

---

After 9 of 18 Matchdays:

Citizen Team Schedule:
4 Matches Remaining

MD10 @ Valladares


MD11 @ Petrovskia


MD15 @ Michine


MD16 v. New Lusitania
(Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori)

Cocoabo Team Schedule:
5 Matches Remaining

MD12 v. Guadalajara
(Kionao Minor Field, Kionao)

MD13 @ Central Shaneville


MD14 v. Beepee
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

MD17 @ Jeckland


MD18 v. Ndaku
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[Ko-oren]

Roster back to 23 again

In a surprise move, head coach Juliasterinthen has replaced the seven striking players so the roster once again consists of 23 players. The lack of depth was very apparent against Alenburg, where a crowd of 54 thousand was treated to the worst match in a few weeks. Yokota's injury in the 32nd minute was easy to deal with, as Dominique came on. Deep into the 80th minute, still at a 0-0 scoreline, Juliasterinthen wanted to make some tactical substitutions, looked at the bench and saw only two viable players there. In the end, Duchemin, the poacher that he is, intercepted a pass and chipped the goalkeeper from 20 metres out. If it weren't for him being in the form of his life, Ko-oren would likely have tied. With South Covello drawing two consecutive matches, the Dragonflies move into first - a possible draw versus Alenburg would have prevented that.

After the match, Juliasterinthen immediately presented a shortlist of players to choose from, but strongly stressed some names on that list. Those players are also the only ones immediately available to the team, given that the rest of the list have to report to their clubs more often for international duties.

These are the players that have been removed from the roster:
Dennis Lampshire, Ethan Benjamin, Ingmar Linderood, Peter Hellegeland, Oridhin Hergulauthen, Samuel Ulysse, Samou Vallotton.

Players called up to the squad:
Defenders
Mark Zuiderberg, 28 years old, playing for Dartha AFC in the second division in the football pyramid.
Marre Kleinroseboom, 26 years old, playing for Rozenvoorde FC, also in the Northern second division.
Bentley Hopperton, 24 years old, playing for Huthwich & Iduloren FC, in the Southern second division.
Humberto Cueto, 27 years old, and Cilistro Cueto, 24 years old, brothers from Castelo e Calvente CS in the southern second division.

Midfielder
Réré Manaudou, 23 years old, playing for Couziers-Olympiques, in the southern second division.

Striker
Newt Emmanuel Doughtry, 29 years old, playing for Limecroft & Abyss FC, in the southern second division.

Unfortunately for Lampshire's 7, the results by the 16-man team have simply been far too good. Had the Dragonflies suffered, he would have had made his point clear - but now everything he stood for is meaningless. With this move, Juliasterinthen indicates that the problem is off the table for him as well, he is moving on from the group, yet leaving a possible future return as one of the possibilities.

Out of the new players, Kleinroseboom and Hopperton have had a short stint in the first division, for Schemerdrecht and Cirelbourne, respectively. Manaudou has been on the bubble for a while, rumoured to sign with Tanques or Aminey any transfer period now, but so far Manaudou hasn't exactly been positive about either team. Doughtry is the ultimate second division player, among the top scorers of the division every year, but refusing to leave the town of Abyss given his role in the community there, from volunteer to city council member. The Cueto brothers will only sign with a top division team if they can move there together, which is not going to happen with one player highly educated and seen with Miradela players, and the other dropped out of school to work full time at age 18, not unheard of among Branvón's ranks.

Moving into the final third of qualification, Ko-oren is sitting at the top of Group 18 for the time being. The next game will be at Bostopia, then versus Routcher in Maethoru, then an away match at Togonistan, before heading into the brutal final stretch with Kirishima and South Covello on the agenda, and Carloso in between. Luckily for us, both Kirishima and South Covello will be visiting the Dragonfly Archipelago this time around, at Maynard and at Aminey. Looking at the current table, we hope to get at least 12 points from the remaining matches, which most likely won't be enough to stay ahead of South Covello but hopefully sees us finish as one of the top 3 runners up. With a nine point lead over Kirishima, things would have to go south very, very quickly for the Dragonflies to end up third or worse.

For the last time Ko-oren topped a group, we have to go back to the first matchday of World Cup 79, as the Dragonflies won by two goals while every other team managed a one-goal victory. That status was short lived though. If you think that doesn't count, the last time before that was still with a large part of the golden generation during World Cup 75, where Ko-oren led Group 20 on match day one and then from match day five until the end. If the Dragonflies can hold on to this spot in the group... what a future we can look forward to.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

The Tale of Twitch and the Excellent Adventure

Twitch was feeling very sad.

In World Cup 80, everyone had quite agreed that Twitch was the cutest of the fluffy bunnies, and that when he twitched his whiskers just so, he was at his very cutest.

But he seemed to have been forgotten in World Cup 81; why, not a single tale of the fluffy bunnies had focused on Twitch.

So before the match against Joshenia, he resolved to do SOMETHING about this. After all, Joshenia were unranked no-hopers, so it's not as if the fluffy bunnies really needed Twitch.

He would go to Joshenia, and find a local double-headed eagle to have a friendly conversation with, that's what he would do.

After all, the double-headed eagle was the national animal of the Holy Empire, and there was a double-headed eagle on the Joshenia Football Association badge, so he was quite sure that there would be double-headed eagles in Joshenia, and that they would be just as friendly and chatty as the double-headed eagles in the Holy Empire.

He was cute as a button, no doubt, but logic had never been Twitch's strong suit.

So a few days before the rest of the Holy Empire travelled to Joshenia for the match, Twitch made the trip alone.

He hunted high and low for the double-headed eagles of Joshenia.

He looked for them in the rafters of the Sir Plakett Arena.

He looked for them in the parks and streets of Paradiz city (where the grass is green and the girls are pretty).

He looked for them in the country's zoos.

He looked for them in many other places besides.

And not a single double-headed eagle did he find.

But did this make Twitch sad? It did not.

After all, sometimes the searching is much more fun than the finding, and even though he couldn't find a single double-headed eagle anywhere (and certainly not the friendly, chatty double-headed eagles you might find in the Holy Empire), he had certainly had a most excellent adventure in making the attempt.

He was slightly embarrassed to discover that he'd been so distracted by his most excellent adventure that he'd completely missed the actual football match against Joshenia; silly Twitch!

But since the Holy Empire had won 3-2 anyway with Popcorn playing in Twitch's place, no one seemed to mind too terribly much.

Just so long as he promised not to do it again.

Hippity hop, hippity hop, into the burrow.

[Busoga Islands]

Executive Residence, Lakiska, South Island, Busoga Islands

Ibrahim Razav, the President of the Busoga Islands, was looking around his office. He was, of course, the elected interim President of the Busoga Islands- tasked with transitioning the Islands to a truly strong, truly independent nation. He had signed a treaty with the Equestrian States for them to build a military base on the Busoga Islands. A treaty, of course, signed in response to Echani's heavy investments into rebuilding Banija, especially Banija's Navy, which was essentially entirely destroyed during the Banijan-Equestrian War.

Every time he sat and thought about it, he thought about the incredible journey that he's been on. Having his own, upstart political party, guiding the Islanders through the terrible drought that they had to suffer through, and eventually, securing both their independence and their future. This military base was the key to the future for the Busoga Islands. The treaty, of course, was important, but how do you truly secure the independence? It is through strength. The Busoga Islands are much smaller than Banija, but having this larger, more powerful nation build this base on Islander territory, against the wishes of their Kabaka, would help the Islands immensely. The Islands would be forever secure from foreign threat.

The investments, of course, were flowing in. The Equestrian States were happy to let the Busoga Islands into the family, and they were working with nations like the Crystal Empire, like Freeport, and other allies of the Equestrian States. The economic investment was heavy, and the development was rapid. All of these first world technologies were hitting the Busoga Islands. Renewable energy was becoming the standard in the Busoga Islands, rather than just the folly of richer countries across Atlantian Oceania. It was Razav's goal, however, to ensure that the Busoga Islands had two legs to stand on.

They were encouraged by their main allies across the sea- they need to expand their alliances. And where to look? President Razav rejected Islander membership within the Quebecois Commonwealth, and those nations were turning away from the Busoga Islands. No High Commissioners there- just simply Ambassadors. Cordial relations, but the organization was dominated by its two largest members, Banija and the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. There simply wasn't a future making alliances over there.

He brought his Foreign Minister into the office to discuss the issue. Her name was Dr. Eveneet Dudi. A devout Shia herself, she wore a hijab. Before independence, of course, she was the Dean of the Islamic University of Busoga's School of Public Policy. She had a bachelor's degree and a master's degree from Northern Moravica, and then she had a doctorate from the University of Kingston's Sullivan School of International Affairs in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. She was well educated and well versed in foreign policy. One of the reasons Razav chose her, however, is that she never worked within the Banijan Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Of course, there was plenty of room for people from there. But to head the department? He wanted a more independent voice, and she was the perfect find.

"Mr. President?" She said as she walked into the room. "You wanted to see me?"

"Dr. Dudi." He replied. "Take a seat." She took her seat in front of his desk, and waited. There was a moment of silence. "We need to expand our horizons. They're saying this in Canterlot as well. Our alliance with the Equestrian States will remain strong forever. But we need more allies. We need to announce our presence. We're a nation of 5.5 million people, one of the smallest in Atlantian Oceania. How in the world do we punch above our weight?"

"Mr. President," she replied. "Have you thought about Baker Park? That alliance is simply natural. They helped us during the drought as well, bringing supplies to Dukuma in the North. They risked their strong friendship with the Banijans. Why haven't we talked to them?"

"You're brilliant Eveneet!" The President replied. "You know, we haven't had any state visits yet. Why don't we invite their Prime Minister? You and I will have to meet, every day, to ensure that we get this right." The President then, of course, dismissed her.

To: Foreign Minister of the Commonweatlh of Baker Park

Minister, it is great to be in correspondence with you. My name, of course, is Dr. Eveneet Dudi. I, of course, hold many titles, including Professor Emeritus, but my present title is the most important- Minister of Foreign Affairs for the Busoga Islands. The Busoga Islands and the Commonwealth of Baker Park have a great relationship. The Commonwealth was there for the Islands when we were simply a region of Banija, in our greatest hour of need. Our nation would like to strengthen those bonds.

That said, we are inviting Prime Minister Schoenlin for an official state visit here to Lakiska, on the South Island, our national capitol. President Razav and myself would be very eager to meet her and her delegation, and discuss ways to strengthen the bonds of our nations for the mutual benefit of both Baker Park and the Busoga Islands. I look forward to hearing back at your earliest convenience.

From,

Dr. Eveneet Dudi
Minister of Foreign Affairs

[Banija]

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister

The Banijan Post
Covering All of Banija, All of our News, All of the Time

Kizza Makoni wins outright majority in stunning electoral result


Collective Resistance Union at victory night rally in the nation's capitol

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Whatever timeline we're on in Banijan history, it is a crazy spin. First, of course, the massive corruption scandal that brought down both major parties. And then, of course, Matthias Mutebi somehow rising in to become the Katikkiro, and then taking on a nation much more powerful than us in the art of war- at the cost of nearly the entire Banijan Navy and, of course, the Busoga Islands becoming an independent nation. And then, of course, after a couple of years of direct rule by the Kabaka, the return to elected governance sees not only Banija's first ever single party majority, but quite possibly Banija's most left-wing ever government.

Banija has long been considered a backwards nation by many of its counterparts across the multiverse. A strictly male-line monarchy, the Universal Call to Motherhood, a clear, bright line in the separation of genders for sports, are just a few examples. And, of course, the theocratic nature of the Banijan state. But we can go into that later. The chance to have the most reformative government in the history of Banija has finally come, out of the dust of the corruption, the nationalist failure in the Banijan-Equestrian War, the Collective Resistance Union, of all parties, has come out on top in Banija's elections.

Kizza Makoni, in his victory speech, said that he will focus on bringing justice forward for all Banijans. "The Banijan people have suffered at the hands of an inept government for very many years. We must bring justice forward to all those who suffered- the men who allowed this great nation to be seperated, must face the consequences. The inept mismanagement of the drought cost the lives of many thousands of people, both here on the mainland and on the islands, with the completely unnecessary war that was launched. This government will bring justice to the people, for the people, and of the people, to this land."

Makoni, of course, has talked before about bringing Matthias Mutebi's cabinet to criminal trial, to face charges. Matthias Mutebi's fate, of course, has been decided by treaty- he won't face a tribunal. But everyone else can, and might. He wants to set up a special domestic court tribunal, and wants to charge those in leadership positions who, in his words, 'allowed Mutebi's madness to go unchecked'. Various members of Mutebi's cabinet and other higher level bureaucrats, of course, could be charged. The most prominent of whom, of course, is Mutebi's deputy, Hatabu Danso.

Danso, of course, fled to Geisenfred and requested political asylum, which he was granted, with the point that he cannot participate within Banijan politics. Kizza Makoni spoke specifically on him during his electoral speech. "While many members of the cabinet flee, they must face justice. All the way to the top, including Mr. Hatabu Danso himself. He committed heinous crimes, by aiding and abetting Mutebi's intentional mismanagement which caused the deaths of thousands of our citizens. He was the Deputy Katikkiro, and the Minister of Defense- he carries responsibility for these foolish war plans. I must make one thing clear to our neighbors- Hatabu Danso must be returned to Banija to face trial. This is justice for our people, this is justice for the dead."

Kizza Makoni, of course, has many controversial reforms planned. His party has supported getting rid of gender segregation in athletics, his party has supported enacting legislation that demands equal funding for male and female extracurricular activities in schools, and even relaxing the ban on the sale of coffee within Banija. Many ideas that are likely to find resistance in this deeply conservative nation. But the time is ripe- they have a majority, they can push whatever they want through the Lukiiko, provided, of course, they can ensure that the Guardian Council doesn't veto anything. Of course, that is a rare occurence, as 5 of the 6 members must agree to veto a bill passed by the Lukiiko to prevent it from becoming law, but who knows.

This will be a very interesting situation to watch going forward. Will Hatabu Danso be returned to Banijan authorities? What will Banija's only land neighbors have to say? All we know is one thing- there is still much left to tell in this story.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Suspects Arrested in Second Sickness Outbreak!
Black-and-Reds substitutes stretch win streak to four as six more players fall ill

Zarss, WEST FLANIA Captain Farid Ruoho announced at a post-match press conference that his team took two individuals into custody on suspicion of poisoning the Black-and-Reds before this match and the one against Illahee. Very few details were given, but he stated that the two suspects were determined to have been present as part of the catering team at both matches, despite significant efforts to ensure that no person present at the first incident could get so close to the team again. He refused to elaborate on whether he believed these individuals acted alone, or were part of a larger conspiracy, saying that he did not wish to speculate, or to compromise the ongoing investigation.

It first became clear to fans that something had gone wrong when Jzvanic, Geladi, Stolp, Dalso, and Abhe, all of whom started against Olastor, were all absent from warm-ups. Stovar Krieven was also in obvious distress, but struggled through it for 45 minutes before being replaced by Kinner Mustahil at the half. Almost overshadowed by the poisoning story was a superb second half from substitute striker Przemors Dzetker, who scored his first goal four minutes after coming on, and then put the match out of reach with about fifteen minutes remaining. Zonde and Dzrenin loomed large in midfield, effectively controlling play and contributing a goal and two assists between them.

As this bizarre chain of events continues, and we wonder whether the arrests made will put an end to these incidents, one cannot help but be impressed by the way Lopal Daror has handled these extreme disruptions to his roster. Only a single starter from his initial roster remains, along with three bench players from the 23-man roster announced at the start of qualifying. Despite all this, the Black-and-Reds have won three straight since the first poisoning incident, and have not allowed a goal in any of those matches. Daror's knowledge of his full roster's abilities and the skill he shows in weaving wildly varying groups of players into a coherent team is impressive to say the least, and has seen the Black-and-Reds climb all the way to third in the group. Whether he can continue this streak against tougher competition remains to be seen. The next matchday sees the Black-and-Reds face off against a Geisenfried squad that has looked better and better as qualifying has gone on, and currently sit just behind us in fourth. After that it's group leaders Pasarga, and the return legs against 95X and Vakolicci Haven & Celeria.

Squornshelan Remnant States  3 - 0 The South Falls
Zonde 34' (Dzrenin)
Dzetker 54' (Zonde), 76' (Gebara)

Man of the Match: Przemors Dzetker

SRS: Krieven (Mustahil 45'); Suharto, Perparim, Tkermec, Darbo, Delu (Antrobus 88'); Gebara, Dzrenin, Dolnight, Zonde; Gryspos (Dzetker 50')

For those of you playing armchair manager and shuffling depth charts at home, here's a list of available players for the upcoming match in Geisenfried, assuming that none of the afflicted players recover in time (predicted starters in bold):

#  Name                 Pos  Age  Caps  G  A  CS  YC  RC   Ht   Wt   Club
13 Zholtokh Dzrenin      CM   34    6   0  3   0   0   0  178   72   Interblag FC
14 Janar Delu            RB   23    4   0  0   0   0   0  169   76   Algolia AC
17 Ctibor Tkermec        CB   29    7   0  0   0   0   0  186   78   Interblag FC
20 Eyob Zonde            RM   27   10   3  1   0   0   0  183   73   Damogran FC
25 Hakan Gryspos         ST   24    1   0  0   0   0   0  179   74   Damogran FC
26 Maryl Antrobus        RB   28    1   0  0   0   0   0  178   78   Traal Athletics
27 Polter Yndel          RM   22    0   0  0   0   0   0  183   74   Olympia Arkintoofle
28 Doron Aldra           CM   21    0   0  0   0   0   0  180   68   Traal Athletics
29 Kinner Mustahil       GK   25    1   0  0   0   0   0  186   72   Algolia AC
30 Slater Jant           GK   25    0   0  0   0   0   0  188   70   AC Damogran
31 Abdeg Darbo           CB   31    2   0  0   0   0   0  193   79   Megabrantid SC
32 Przemors Dzetker      ST   29    1   2  0   0   0   0  181   73   Interblag FC
33 Ozol Gebara           LM   27    2   0  2   0   0   0  179   71   Viltvodle City
34 Ramaz Dolnight        CM   25    1   0  0   0   0   0  184   70   Damogran FC
35 Koit Suharto          LB   28    2   0  0   0   0   0  180   69   Jaglan Royals
36 Ortzi Perparim        CB   27    2   0  0   0   0   0  191   78   Brantisvogan FC
37 Skumantas Nakhutin    CB   24    0   0  0   0   0   0  190   77   Traal Athletics
38 Jirar Lomidan         CM   23    0   0  0   0   0   0  187   78   FC Yassaca
39 Kambiz Avagyan        ST   25    0   0  0   0   0   0  196   75   Viltvodle City
40 Iuri Takala           CM   20    0   0  0   0   0   0  168   67   Megabrantid SC
41 Tudan Povarnin        RM   27    1   0  0   0   0   0  162   61   Syneca AC

players in bold will start against Geisenfried

Squornshelan Remnant States Qualifying Schedule:
MD1:  Illahee 0-1 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD2:  Squornshelan Remnant States 1-2 Olastor (Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS)
MD3:  The South Falls 2-3 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD4:  Squornshelan Remnant States 2-0 Geisenfried (Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS)
MD5:  Pasarga 1-0 Squornshelan Remnant States (Stade de Torgos, Torgos, Pasarga)
MD6:  Squornshelan Remnant States 1-2 95X (Damogran, Algolia, SRS)
MD7:  Vakolicci Haven and Celeria 1-0 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD8:  Dormill and Stiura 0-0 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD9:  Squornshelan Remanant States 2-1 Qasden (Traal, East Flania, SRS)
MD10: Squornshelan Remnant States 4-0 Illahee (Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS)
MD11: Olastor 0-2 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD12: Squornshelan Remnant States 3-0 The South Falls (Zarss, West Flania, SRS)
MD13: @ Geisenfried (UR) (Wilhelm-Rohm-Stadion, Darnesmark, Sudgoeke, Geisenfried)
MD14: v Pasarga (11) (Jaglan, Algolia, SRS)
MD15: @ 95X (50)
MD16: v Vakolicci Haven and Celeria (70) (Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS)
MD17: v Dormill and Stiura (252) (Lutenblag, Molvania, SRS)
MD18: @ Qasden (27) (Hotchskarth Cabin, Destiny, Qasden)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In a holding cell, a few hours after the match . . .
Lieutenant Yrja Dzegtarin leaned forward over the table. The woman across from her sat motionless, hands cuffed to the arms of her chair. In an identical room, Captain Ruoho was doing the same with the other prisoner. They probably had only a few hours before CSA would take over the case, and they hoped to use that prospect as leverage against the two.

"I'm sure you'll never show it, but surely you must realize that you have a problem. One of you and your friend is going to be just fine, but the other is about to disappear forever into a prison no one even knows exists. You and I both know that CSA will be here soon to get you, and unless we have something to offer them, you're probably gonna have a pretty rough time."

"The prisoner's dilemma."

"A philosopher?" Yrja cocked her head to the side and smiled. "You'll recall that the only rational option in that thought experiment is for both prisoners to betray the other, minimizing the possible punishment for both. There's also a little twist in this version of the scenario, do you see it?"

"Enlighten me."

"Just this once, after that it'll be your turn." Yrja's smile widened, becoming unpleasantly toothy. "In this version if you don't betray your partner, you go to prison for a very long time either way. We have you both for multiple counts of attempted murder already even if you never speak again."

"Attempted murder? That's ridiculous."

"So whatever you added to the food was designed only to incapacitate then? A custom biological agent cooked up in some subterranean lab underneath the Old Vogsphere ruins maybe?" The prisoner froze up for just a moment, easy to miss, but it was enough for Yrja to see she'd hit the mark. "Rationally, the only way for you to help yourself is to talk. You've already told me one thing, and you know your superiors will assume you're cooperating with us anyway. If you were really loyal to them you'd be dead already. Now let's talk about how you did this, and who helped you, shall we?"

[Cassadaigua]

(Immediately following the match)

Hannah Ranucci met up with Zack Pierce after the match to talk about his 24th minute red card that made the Cassadagans play a man down, this time literally as well, for the remainder of the game.

“That was kind of a tough call against you, Zack.” Hannah began, “But you know, we need to make sure we are not short handed for the tough games. Though I don’t think it should have been more then a yellow.”

“That guy, number 6, Filipović I think it is, is a complete asshole.” Pierce replied.

“He kind of was, he was defending me at times, too.” Ranucci responded.

“Yeah, but I don’t need to be insulted, he told me that Cassadagan are not real men the way we get pushed around by women at home. That I am a disgrace to manhood, and I am not going to be taking that shit. So, yes, when I had the chance I used a little more force on a tackle and aimed more for his knee. You don’t ever question a man’s manhood, Hannah, even if they are from Cassadaigua.” Pierce stated.

“I didn’t realize he had made such a comment. Should have let me know, we, well maybe Lupe and not actually me, would have had your back. We’re a team!” Ranucci answered.

“I hope so, Hannah. I hope we’re a team, because sometimes it seems like we are two different teams. I’m not sure who is going to have my back, especially someone like Lupe Enriquez. I don’t know how much I can trust her.” Pierce stated.

“Zack, we’re a team. We can quarrel amongst ourselves, but no one else better be messing with us out there,” Ranucci began, “If Filipović said something like that to you, then definitely we would have had your back. And if he did say something to you like that, then he deserved what you dished out.”

“Well, thank you Hannah,” Pierce answered.

“It’s like a sibling relationship, Zack, this team.” Ranucci continued, “We’ll bust on each other all we want, argue with one another, just like siblings. But if someone else steps in and tries to mess with the other one, we’re not going to take it and will be right there to defend you.”

“That is good to know. It will be tough to have to sit out the next match,” Pierce said in frustration.

“You did what you thought was best. We still won the match. We can replace you for the next match, maybe Emma McKee will, but you will be back afterwards, and I will look forward to playing with you again.” Ranucci replied.

“Do you, really, mean that?” Pierce said, struggling to find the words.

“Yes, I do. You are one hell of a soccer player. You’ve won me over, maybe I didn’t give you a fair chance, but I think you have done a great job. What you said to me before stuck with me, and I think we are developing some good chemistry on the field with one another. We need that.” Ranucci answered.

“Thanks, Hannah. Very happy to hear that.” Pierce answered.

“And don’t let anyone ever say you’re not a real man!” Ranucci proclaimed.



Down One, Fillies Find A Way,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Before we begin with this report, you may have heard the news, Cassadaigua is bidding for the Cup Of Harmony again. The last time placed a bid, we ended up qualifying for the World Cup, so hopefully that will be true once again. That bid, with current World Cup co-host Free Republics was not selected by the World Cup Committee, so CASE is back at it again, going with a familiar partner, Equestrian States. One of our favorite nations out there for their amazing culture and population, it was a real shame that we were not able to be a part of the World Cup there. Although, I know many of you traveled there to watch the other teams play, and that’s always good. Taylor Connolly, the President of CASE said of the bid, “We are the first to bid. We don’t know who will competing against our bid yet, but the World Cup Committee knows that we and the Equestrian States have successfully pulled off a couple tournaments together in the past. Therefore, they will see it as a worthy option. Now, we await to see what other worthy options will be out there.”

Meanwhile, the Fillies were on the road in Czarna Gora, one of the least successful teams in the group, but fans still filled Stadion Podgoricom, although with a capacity of just 18,300, that’s not too difficult to do when an ex-World Cup champ pays a visit. The game started out pretty intense, and in the 24th minute, Zack Pierce was given a straight red card for an aggressive tackle on M. Filipović. The two, moments prior, were seen jawing at one another, and the referee may have felt that the tackle could have targeted M. Filipović’s knee. He did not make contact with it, leaving coach Stephanie Sweeney and others frustrated that a red was issued, and not simply a yellow. Therefore, Cassadaigua was a player short for the remainder of the match, and as the first half played out scoreless, it was a little too even for our liking. In the second half, Sweeney and company made good adjustments, and controlled the play despite being down. Sierra Mattison, who is quietly having a spectacular Cup, scored her fifth of qualifying in the 59th minute, and that would end up being the only goal of the match. Perhaps, you’d like to see a bigger margin of victory here, but the three points is the important thing.

As the competition moves along, Cassadaigua will be in Al-Mumtaz next in another game that is a must three points, simply because they cannot squander any opportunity. Emma McKee will start in Zack Pierce’s spot as Pierce serves the obligatory one game suspension for the red card.

[Tinhampton]

TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 1-0 South Libertopia AF Incorporated
Venue: Tin Park, Tinhampton, Tinhampton

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

• Tinhampton (Sweeper 5-3-2): 1. Josh SMITH (GK), 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 13. Evan MORRIS, 3. Harry PORTER, 15. Davina SALT (↻ 46' GEORGE), 16. Brian SMALL, 17. Steve CAMERON, 6. Michael YOUNG (C), 18. Jacob NORTH, 11. Ian GRAHAM (↻ 67' WILLIAMSON), 21. Simon FORD
• South Libertopia (AF Incorporated) (5-4-1): 1. Summer YOUNG (GK), 2. Harriet BELL, 3. Chelsea JOHNSON, 4. Morgan GILES, 5. Lydia POTTER (C), 6. Rebecca GODDARD, 7. Katherine BRUCE, 8. Lauren CLARKE, 9. Maisie MIAH, 10. Millie CLARKE, 11. Lydia MORRISON
  Unable to play: Michael YOUNG (TIN).

GOALS: Simon FORD 52'14'' (TIN).
CARDS: Yellow: Chelsea JOHNSON 29'55'' (South Libertopia, trigram unknown), Brian SMALL 72'31'' (TIN). Red: none.
INJURIES: None.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Note that the South Libertopian football team is entirely female. TEXT REDACTED DUE TO POTENTIAL FOR LIBEL LAWSUITS ~Suzanne. This is the first match in Tinhampton's history in which Ian JONES (TIN) did not play, ending a run of 103 consecutive caps; therefore making this the first completely professional national team ever fielded by Tinhampton... sort of.

---

Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 13: Footballing Forays part 2: Taxi For Athers!

---

Next up for the New Lions Cup is Fetakela Manuta, captain of the unofficial Sochean national team, who needs to score from a purely rationalist perspective. The whistle, as ever, is blown - and would you look at that, it's only gone and gone in! Advantage Lions, surely, Julia Atherton won't get any sleep for three months and will probably have to ponder this for three lifetimes...!

George Piratin, TBS coverage of New Lions vs Eleven Retinues penalty shootout, 1st Tinhampton Cup semifinal

Only one Tinhamptonian team has ever won a penalty shootout... and Julia Atherton had the misfortune to be on the wrong end of it all. With a place in the inaugural Tinhampton Cup final on the line, the woman described by Victor Cold down the Sentinel as "the raven-haired maven from proper mining country" had a fair proportion of work to do, even if not all of it was necessarily as strenous as one could expect. Indeed, not a single block, stop or outright goal-line incident of madness had befallen her in normal time, although two more goals were to come in the half-hour impendent.
Despite having failed to respond adequately to a strike from New Lions Club captain Galleva anNorpa (Aihlo Vatunska had tripped over a rubber chicken in the dressing-room at half time) with half-time on the horizon, his counterpart for the Eleven Retinues, Marcus Fisher - who had missed a penalty of his own at the hour mark - finally converted after nudging a tap-in his own way. A double-save was forced from the NLC's Kipao Baerenaig "deep" into stoppage time, certainly... if that much can be said.
Nine of the most intriguing spot-kicks followed, with Patrick Williams opening procedings by smashing the ball into the top-left corner, followed by an almost-identical strike from anNorpa - neither of them truly saveable, not by glorified Sunday leaguers and probably not by world-class players. By now, the scores were tied at one each when Terry Haynes thwonked his over the bar, at which point Baerenaig barely snatched his take past the grasp of Atherton. The New Lions were 2-1 up having taken a pair of strikes each.
It should be rather apt, therefore, that Kelly Maloney herself barely lucked out with a successful penalty of her own after being somehow punched back by Atherton's opposite number Tealeala noVenaxali. The New Lions were still ahead by one. This was becoming familiar by now: George Evans inexplicably bests noVenaxali after the ball strikes the top of the bar before going in, Fetakela Manuta even more inexplicably bests Atherton after the ball strikes the top of her hand before going in - well, this was Tinhampton, defensive errors were always meant to be patched up but have been woefully exposed by opposition as diverse as Turori and Osciuro. 4-3 to the Lions. You had to be there to believe any of that.
The die was on the edge of being case about a good minute later or so, when Fisher plummeted the ball on a splodge of white paint some eleven metres away from his New Lions counterpart, knowing that any further tragedy would deny his team the chance to make history. He watched, delirious and sceptical at once, as the ball sunk into the back...

...

...of the car park. The New Lions had found their way into the Cup Final, where they lost 2-0 to the Tin City Rejects (i.e. Tinhampton City's C team) anyway. Days later, Atherton somehow earned her revenge, Grand Blue - surely an oxymoron if ever there was one - scraping through to the second preliminary round of the Globe Cup after Chris Richard of the Rejects got his injury-time penalty palmed away on the last game of the season. São Perebano of the Capivara Group were swept aside by four goals to two over 180 minutes; in the playoff round, however, they had the misfortune to run against Polaris. The Tinhamptonians had won 2-0 in the first leg, but trailed by the same scoreline with minutes to go in the following game.
Put not only pithily but remarkably simplisticly, with Haynes having been dispossessed about 25 or 30 yards from his own goal - like any "good" Tinhamptonian would in such a scenario - the ball was fortitiously yanked by someone who did not so much run with it as swerve it elegantly about as far across the pitch towards an expectant striker, we don't remember which one. Was it perfect? No, but it did appear to warrant a penalty after our test subject right over there tripped up a good ten yards away from goal. No matter that the ball crossed the line in the first place, and no matter that the Retinues were on the verge of armageddon, but Atherton was given her marching orders a good two minutes ahead of time, a tad over double that if you count the stoppages. The time you see at the beginning of this piece about the woman herself is the time of her dismissal against Polaris.
The opposition shorn of a goalkeeper of any description, the Cenians ironically scored their penalty soon afterwards - what is it with Tinhamptonians and penalties? - to eliminate the Eleven Retinues Sports Club from further multiversal contention. "You couldn't catch a cold!", blared the Sentinel, parroting the words of a random, irate fan. "TAXI FOR ATHERS!", wailed the Herald, parroting what would have been at the time hundreds of even more irate, even less random supporters of Tinhamptonian football. Never again would Atherton - or any player outside of the New Lions, who had the misfortune of running into Brenecia's Rozelle in the next round - appear for their club in any capacity.
It should come as no surprise that, not long afterwards, the "Tinhamptonians" - some not actually Tinhamptonian, and none actually vaguely noteworthy Tinhamptonian internationals of any description - went on yet another strike and mysteriously sulked their way out of a few UICA seasons. If ever our football needed a scapegoat for its rapidly-collapsing infrastructure, Atherton was it; surely it is no coincidence also that the only purple patch it entered in the year to come would consist of a massive bruise across its very heart and soul. Pumped against U-62, humiliated against Dalmat, "happily digested by a bowl of fucking cereal" (quoth a pseudonymous expert in the letters section of the Herald under the name of Donald McDonald). The rot has only just ended in the past few months, with the ejection of Terry Marlson as head of the TFA.
That being said, there can hardly be any confusion as to why the Retinue keeper picked by now-allegedly-permanent boss Clive Turnbull - as it was at the time - for the squad was only the reserve. Those days are no more. Having forced himself out of the stable after a 2-1 humiliation against Oscioru, "U-Bend's" hand-picked successor (although whose hands are uncertain) Rachel Coltfield rapidly - and, so far, successfully - instated a literal ethos of professionalism and strongly defensively-minded football amongst the Tinhamptonian contingent.
It was with much shock, however, when Atherton was told to "expect a call by a good friend of mine some time around noon-ish, ma'am" - that this man was not a shady figure but actually Dave Winner, Tinhampton's third of five interim managers and now working part-time as a stockist at the local Baron of Bargains megamart, not only made absolutely no difference to the message but proved just how out-of-touch those in power were to the still-ex-footballers at the time... or vice-versa, perhaps. Twelve noon came, and the phone was indeed picked up.
"The name's Rachel Coltfield. New manager of the Tinhampton - the old one quit after we lost to Oscioru."
"Wait a minute... you're calling me for what if we're second in the table, for fuck's sake?"
"Tessa Waterman's quit in favour of working behind the scenes. We already have your former reserve on call, but surely you wouldn't mind replacing her and perhaps getting a run-out for a couple of games? You'd fit perfectly into our new ethos and it would---"
"Well, I'd be rubbing my hands with glee right now if I wasn't already using one of them!" Mind you, those loyal followers of the Miners were having absolutely none of that nonsense with Atherton and her occasionally nonsensical manouvers, that much can be said. Some time around nine o'clock the following evening, for reasoning which has absolutely nothing to do with Assembly approving a second referendum on gun control measures for next March, the Superb-run fuel station nearest to the TFA headquarters was somehow firebombed into kingdom come. Look away, mate, nothing to see here...

[Farfadillis]

The FFFF's decision to cease Tíbürçìó Çötàvíê from his job as Farfadillis manager had been met with mixed reactions. His literal dementia made him a liability, however, so few dared question the decision. Except, of course, for newly-elected President of Farfadillis, also President of the FFFF, Alex Terán. Just two days before the match against Kelssek, he re-hired the Rulandese man, who allegedly hadn't yet found out he was no longer the Farfadillis manager.

Tíbürçìó repaid such faith by playing Lafayette Tifoxé, the substitute goalkeeper, instead of Íüé Tgô for no apparent reason. He also played a surprising almost-full-strength eleven against a team that was supposed to pose no threat. During the match, the players were clearly disoriented by his orders. His mumbling often turned incoherent and his loose grasp on reality showed quite clearly.

Eventually, the quality of the Farf team helped it sail through. Well, Fôrté Wínrôuge's quality did, actually, the veteran having one of the best games since qualifiers started, making it clear he planned to retain his spot in the starting eleven for a very likely eventual Farfadillis appearance in the 81st World Cup. He had fierce competition, though, with Zsolgar Zsase showing his quality in every chance he'd gotten. Groaré Sasca had also been becoming more and more of an important piece of Tíbürçìó's plan (if it exists, anyway) thanks to a couple of quality performances and even a few goals to boot. The wingers weren't lived up to their hype, however. Lüí Wçêíl and Lázár Eleonóra were both supposedly on par with Wínrôuge, but they hadn't even scratched his performances since the AOCAF Cup.

Up front, wonderkid Xíxì Êns had been... slightly underwhelming? Lots of assists and a decent number of goals, but he hadn't looked like Farfadillis next Wínrôuge. Maybe the label was beginning to weigh on him. Wínrôuge had never been bothered by the 'next Dandalleion/Kâí' label, but Xíxì was not like Fôrté. He lacked his fellow Rulandese's extreme arrogance. This made him a better person, but it did not make him a better footballer. One of his first managers in Dí Maozöxê's youth ranks had once wanted to get rid of him, citing that his passiveness could stunt his development. He got fired promptly after Êns' first season with the first team. What was I even talking about? Ah, yes, the Farf team. Anyway, the youngster that had been playing above expectations was the other striker, Oskar Holsteiner. The clinical striker had scored a pretty ridiculous percentage of the Farf goals, though that was partially because of his partner, it has to be said.

To continue ranting without a clear point, the Farf defense had looked more solid than ever, Kósa Bajnok fitting the starting line-up like a glove. The hulking centreback had turned a leaky defense into a decent defense just by virtue of being there. Solid performances from Mârtín Básá and Ezequiel Marchiondo had further helped. Tgô had been performing rather underwhelmingly; perhaps Tifoxé's inclusion in the eleven against Kelssek was not born out of madness. Centre midfielder Somuele der Pros had helped both the defense and the attack remarkably. His age was a concern, though: he would not last for another World Cup cycle.

The road ahead for Farfadillis was clear: qualify first in the group. The match against Super-Llamaland would be the final hurdle before they could finally feel safe. Thing is, while Farfadillis hadn't failed to qualify since World Cup 68, qualifiers always left the Farf population uneasy. What if disaster finally struck? What's more, the last time disaster had struck had been in the qualifiers for the last time the Free Republics had hosted the World Cup. Coincidence? Yes.

The Farf team would aim to qualify. Then, they would have to set a goal for the World Cup proper. What goal would they set themselves this time around? Finally, a World Cup win. This was a generation that had broken Farfadillis' quarterfinal curse, and it was going down in history as the most talented one, despite sporting no AOCAF Cup wins. They'd be wanting and needing to cap off their cycle as winners of something, and what better than the most coveted trophy of all?

Also, Tíbürçìó kept his job cause he won against Kelssek, as Terán announced to the press later that day. He argued this would further motivate the players in the World Cup, as he would clearly not be around for the following one, instead likely being confined to a mental asylum.

[South Covello]

David Hale Wins First Presidential Debate, Polls Show - Santos' Campaign in Downward Spiral

According to an SCNN suvey conducted over the course of the past week, 63 percent of South Covellans feel David Hale won the first Presidential debate, 25 percent think Clara Santos won, and the remainder thought it was a tie, or were unsure. Furthermore, the survey indicated that 59 percent of South Covellans would vote for Hale if the election were held today, 25 percent would vote for Santos, 15 percent were undecided, and 1 percent said they would vote for someone else despite the fact that no other candidates are on the ballot and no write-ins are allowed. Hale's lead is now commanding, and he could be well on his way to a landslide victory.

Santos was criticized in the press for constantly chiding Hale for being young and inexperienced, and coming off, in the mind of one voter, as "The old lady who tells all the kids to get off her lawn and chases them away with her cane." In keeping with this line of thinking, 71 percent of voters said Santos was too harsh on Hale during the debate, while only 3 percent said she wasn't harsh enough. Meanwhile, only 21 percent of likely votes are somewhat concerned or very concerned about Hale's lack of experience - it simply doesn't seem to be an issue and those people make up the bulk of Santos' support.

A controversial political cartoon in The New Forker yesterday depicted Santos as an angry witch, chasing Hale away with her broomstick. Santos was outraged at the cartoon, saying "I'm not a witch. How dare they say these things about me? All because I called David Hale a young, inexperienced brat who wants it all right now and can't wait his turn? It isn't fair. I'm not a witch. I'm me."

Although the poll had already finished by the time Santos made that statement, citizens around the country were outraged at her choice of language. Although Hale chose to take the high road and not dignify that comment with a response, many of his supportes voiced full-throated opposition to Santos, with one saying "Better a young brat than an old bat." It seems likely this will hurt Santos even more in the polls going forward, but unfortunately none have been conducted so far as this is only a very recent development.

This campaign is certainly turning out to be more heated than any of us thought it would be at first, and we still have about four weeks to go. It's going to be a long, winding, and interesting road to see who is going to be the next president of South Covello. But Santos' campaign seems to be going into a tailspin, and she needs desparately to do something to resurrect it. What will be her next move? Only time will tell.

On a lighter note, Kenny Boone and his homemade, handmade red sweater have gone viral since last week's debate, with the population of South Covello seeming to have fallen in love with him. Videos on NewTube showed him edited into various scenarios, including hoisting the World Cup trophy alongside the Brenecian team at World Cup 80, jumping for joy at the coming of a great parade, riding a goat through a field of flowers, and many more hysterical, adorable, and/or awesome scenarios. Kenny Boone is set to appear on The So Late Late It's Basically The Early Show with Donald Numberman tomorrow at 3:00 AM, and rumor is he'll reveal who he's voting for in the upcoming election. Many South Covellans will certainly be staying up late to watch, or perhaps getting up early.

[East Belzaria]

East Belzaria pretty much said goodbye to any chance of reaching the NS World Cup after losing 2 out of their last 3 games. The game against Garifunya didn't go bad, as East Belzaria managed to equalize through Lopez, but the damage was done later on when Garifunya triumphed 2-1. The next game against Saltstead, was a massive improvement on East Belzaria's defensive frailties in their first encounter, but Saltstead played their cards well and triumphed 1-0. Lorn Monte opened the scoring against Northwest Kalactin, but it was a late equalizer that saw them fail to win in a 1-1 draw.

"We've had a good run, but it's unlikely we'll qualify now. Now we should just focus on getting the best out of this experience" says David Madridson, the East Belzarian coach. East Belzaria is up against Sorrentopia next, away and the pressure to perform is definitley present.

[Kita-Hinode]

[Geisenfried]

FROM THE OFFICES OF THE CHANCELLERY

To the esteemed Kizza Makoni of the Kingdom of Banija:

Code: Select all

   Congratulations and felicitations on your hard-fought electoral victory! As someone who has myself been entrusted with the hopes and dreams of a nation, I wish you the best of luck on the great task of leading Banija forward, and I hope fervently you will bring lasting progress and prosperity to your people and your nation. The successful and peaceful transfer of power between one government to the other via the democratic process should never be understated or unappreciated - never overlooked or taken for granted. It is we who are given power by the people who must stand the most steadfast in guarding and preserving the trust that has been invested into us and maintaining it for the generations yet to come. For while we may not always be triumphant, democracy as a whole must be - and so just as we must be gracious in defeat, we must also be magnanimous in our victories.

   Which... brings us to the unfortunate and unpleasant matter of the repatriation of Mr. Hatabu Danso, former Deputy Katikkiro of your fine nation. As you must surely understand, we cannot abide nor acquiesce to your request that he be turned over to your government for a special tribunal. While we understand the great pains your nation has suffered, at the time of his application for asylum in the Royal Federation he had been charged with no crime and he had been placed under no restrictions. As such, the decision was made to allow his entry into Geisenfried under strict terms. Mr. Danso is obligated, by the terms of his asylum, never to interfere in the politics of Banija while he remains under the protection of the Geisen government. Having been afforded that protection, it would be a insult to the sacred honor and spirit of hospitality to revoke his asylum when he has yet to breach the terms of his agreement. While I know it may be a source of frustration, it is an unfortunate necessity to protect the freedoms of individuals who seek sanctuary on our fair shores. To release him without further cause would set precedence for tyrants and dictators to demand the return of protestors and political opponents who may come to seek shelter from authoritarian retribution. Your desire for justice is both understandable and commendable, but one must be cautious of vengeful recriminations and the prosecution of former political enemies for persecution's sake, for such is a perversion of the rule of law.

   Though our histories are different, our proximity will always leave the legacies of Geisenfried and Banija intertwined. As the duly elected Chancellor of Geisenfried, it is my humble wish that you and I may in time, find a special relationship that shall come to the mutual benefit of both parties - for we are neighbors, and shall continue to be in both the good times and the bad.

Yours sincerely,
Frederick Mittermeyer
Bundeskanzler der Geisenfried

---

Geisenfried 1 - 0 Vakolicci Haven and Celeria
Thiessen (51')

[Cosumar]

Riise's dream Cosumar debut hints at potential Valgard-esque move in transfer window

R A M U S O K -- Last night was a night straight out of the dreams of Helfin Fief homegrown striker Aron Riise, who netted a brace on his international debut in front of Crowley Memorial's thousands. What little Cosumarite boy with a ball doesn't dream of pulling on the Dragonshirt for the first time and scoring a goal? Let alone two! Let alone in a 5-1 lashing!

The game against Saint Emelie - who tested the Vanquishers previously in Qualifying - was just three minutes in when Riise was hauled down inside the penalty area to give better-known strike partner Romikk Valgard the chance to open the scoring. The Ulsa star breezily converted from the spot before later playing a key part in a sequence that allowed Riise himself to double the lead after 15 minutes. Not a bad Cosumar debut when you score within 15!

Isla Sibučić, so active in the first half after a few matches off, made it 3-0 not much later before Riise, who Helfin Fief expect to command an eight-figure transfer fee this window, added a fourth early in the second half with a sizzling left-footed shot that fizzed into the bottom corner from a respectable distance. Horatius Chaumancer then put the gloss on the result with a free header off a corner just before stoppage time.

Saint Emelie, a team that likely needed a point to sustain their flatlining qualification hopes, simply had no answer for the attacking triangle created by Sibučić behind Valgard and Riise. All three were excellent, but the latter will take the headlines after much ado was made last week about the twice-defending Härlighet Ligan Young Player of the Year being the only player yet to make an

Aron Riise after training with Helfin Fief in 1014

appearance in Qualifying. Riise's performance - both his finishing instincts and his ability to instantly combine well with Valgard - will give Alexander Pearce some food for thought as his thoughts start to turn to his final World Cup (or, Odin forbid, Cup of Harmony) roster.

Since hauling boyhood club Helfin Fief up to the HL with the lone goal in the 1012 Pro/Rel Playoff, Riise made himself at home in Cosumar's top flight with 17 goals each of the last two seasons. The chance he finally got last night, a dozen matches in, was well-earned. He's done it as a lone center forward, as part of a two-striker set-up with a dynamic partner in Adrien Borges, and now for the Vanquishers alongside bona-fide #1 Valgard. With Helfin Fief getting relegated, their fair-headed jack-of-all-trades will certainly be moving onwards and upwards next season.

Just how high might he go? Well, he can help answer that himself by continuing to score goals in what further chances Pearce will surely give him now in Qualifying.

The situation is reminiscent of Romikk Valgard's in World Cup 77. Like Riise, Valgard made his name at a lower-table HL club, West Gundar FC, and intrigued the manager enough to take a punt on him in his 40-man pool. Valgard then used his first caps in Qualifying to capture all of Cosumar's attention, stringing together a series of electric and game-winning substitute performances. Overnight, he went from relative international obscurity to a Cosumarite folk hero and skyrocketed his international stock.

After the World Cup, Valgard signed for Ulsa.

We're not saying Riise is going to join a Euran powerhouse. His ceiling probably isn't as high as Valgard's. Few of his raw attributes or skills jump out at you in the same way, and he doesn't have a clear best role. But the kid is sturdy and reliable. He finds a way to get goals any time he's on a pitch, regardless of the who, when, how or where. That has to count for something. With just one cap and two goals to his name, Riise has a long way to go in order to make the same kind of impact in this World Cup that Valgard did in his breakthrough cycle, but he sure made a hell of a start.

Will Pearce reward his two-goal salvo with another start in Tasrailia tomorrow night? Proud folks back in Dvinko and Helfin Fief will surely be refreshing the FSF twitter feed for the announcement of the line-up. The last time one of their own went this big was... never.

But we all know Pearce has a wealth of strike options at his disposal, with Valgard, Targaryen, Zeale-Riddick and Ruhl all being well-established for club and country. Fellow young hopeful Sen Marsteller has also shown well in limited appearances. Pearce could easily opt for any of them tomorrow. This competition, however, only means that if Riise CAN sneak on the World Cup plane as an optional fifth striker or even displace one of the aforementioned stars... it will only increase the number of clubs willing to invest in him over the window. Being a Vanquishers World Cup striker carries a lot of weight nowadays.

The floor is yours now, Aron Riise. You have the footballing world's attention.

by Julie Nicholson
Courier Sports Editor

---

Anollasia 1-5 Cosumar
Sibučić 10', Zeale-Riddick 31', Zeale-Riddick 42', Sibučić 69', Tidesson 89'
Assisted by Targaryen, Pakkanen, Sibučić, Tidesson, Tidesson, Targaryen
Selection: Na'Kefir; Pakkanen, Jorgensen, Svensson, Na'Kale; Söderquist; Tidesson, Sibučić, Serafino (Mokumdarian); Targaryen (Neptune), Zeale-Riddick (Blaylock)
Matchday 1 | @ James Anoll Stadium, Jefferton

Cosumar 5-0 Acapais
Tidesson 33', Pakkanen 37', Valgard 40', Own Goal 45', Wolff 61'
Assisted by Valgard, Valgard, Tidesson, Mokumdarian
Selection:Na'Kefir; Chaumancer, Jorgensen, Wolff (Na'Duha); Pakkanen, Mokumdarian, Serafino, Na'Kale; Tidesson, Sibučić (Sjunitsson); Valgard (Dyer Vry)
Matchday 2 | @ Fire River Arena, Ramusok

Saint Emelie 2–3 Cosumar
Svensson 10', Valgard 61', Targaryen 80'
Assisted by Serafino, Targaryen, Hemeyer
Selection: Commerford; Bale, Svensson, Jakoljevic, Na'Kale; Mokumdarian (Hemeyer); Tidesson, Heher (Neptune), Serafino; Targaryen (Kahlor), Valgard
Matchday 3 | @ Saint Emelie

Cosumar 5–0 Tasrailia
Zeale-Riddick 27', Sibučić 46', Own Goal 51', Targaryen 61', Targaryen 69'
Assisted by Na'Kale, Neptune, none, Sibučić, Mokumdarian
Selection: Na'Kefir; Chaumancer, Jorgensen, Wolff; Pakkanen, Mokumdarian, Couturiaux, Na'Kale (Neptune); Sibučić (Antúnes), Curwyk; Zeale-Riddick (Targaryen)
Matchday 4 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Britonisea 1-0 Cosumar
No Scorers
Selection: Na'Kefir; Karigomu, Svensson, Jorgensen (Pakkanen), Na'Kale; Mokumdarian; Tidesson (Valgard), Sibučić, Serafino (Yucob); Targaryen, Ruhl
Matchday 5 | @ The DEXTER Burgendore Stadium, Wickam

Cosumar 5-0 Tanzanique
Jorgensen 20', Valgard 24' (p), Valgard 31', Valgard 39' (p), Marsteller 58'
Assisted by Ojala, none, none, none, Valgard
Selection: Weschler; Svensson, Jorgensen, Na'Duha; Ojala (Karigomu), Mokumdarian, Couturiaux, Na'Kale; Sibučić (Tricklebank), Marsteller; Valgard (Heher)
Matchday 6 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

The Macabees 1-2 Cosumar
Valgard 54', Ojala 89'
Assisted by Targaryen, none
Selection: Na'Kefir; Pakkanen (Bale), Chaumancer, Wolff, Lechjakr; Viablaine; Tidesson (Ojala), Sibučić, Serafino; Targaryen (Marsteller), Valgard
Matchday 7 | @ The Macabees

Cosumar 1-0 HUElavia
Tidesson 72'
Assisted by Pakkanen
Selection: Na'Kefir (Commerford); Svensson, Jakoljevic, Wolff; Pakkanen, Mokumdarian, Serafino (Viablaine), Na'Kale; Tidesson, Sibučić (Curwyk); Valgard
Matchday 8 | @ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic

Juvencus 1-1 Cosumar
Valgard 35'
Assisted by Na'Kale
Selection: Commerford; Pakkanen, Svensson, Jorgensen, Na'Kale (Brill); Söderquist; Tidesson (Ojala), Sibučić (Dyer Vry), Serafino; Valgard, Zeale-Riddick
Matchday 9 | @ Vinceti Catedral, Pomena

Free Republics 0-6 Cosumar
Yucob 7', Ruhl 23', Yucob 28' (p), Mokumdarian 73', Antúnes 78', Marsteller 82'
Assisted by Hemeyer, Weschler, Ruhl, none, Brill, Brill
Selection: Weschler; Pakkanen (Bale), Chaumancer, Na'Duha (Wolff), Brill; Yucob (Sjunitsson), Antúnes, Hemeyer (Söderquist), Mokumdarian, Neptune (Curwyk); Ruhl (Marsteller)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly | @ Church of Technicology Stadium, Tarita

Cosumar 0-0 Qasden
No scorers
Selection: Commerford; Karigomu, Jakoljevic, Wolff (Chaumancer), Lechjakr; Sjunitsson; Tidesson (Ojala), Kahlor (Couturiaux), Neptune; Dyer Vry, Blaylock (Targaryen)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly| @ The Amphitheatre, Cassandra

Cosumar 1-0 Anollasia
Serafino 52'
Assisted by Yucob
Selection: Na'Kefir; Bale, Jakoljevic, Svensson, Lechjakr; Söderquist; Yucob (Marsteller), Mokumdarian, Serafino (Curwyk); Targaryen, Ruhl
Matchday 10 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Acapais 0-1 Cosumar
Ruhl 47'
Assisted by Curwyk
Selection: Na'Kefir; Karigomu, Svensson, Chaumancer; Tidesson, Tricklebank, Söderquist (Antúnes), Lechjakr; Heher (Mokumdarian), Curwyk (Yucob); Ruhl
Matchday 11 | @ Acapais

Cosumar 5-1 Saint Emelie
Valgard 3' (p), Riise 15', Sibučić 29', Riise 49', Chaumancer 89'
Assisted by Riise, Sibučić, Valgard, none, Sibučić
Selection: Commerford; Bale, Jakoljevic (Jorgensen), Chaumancer, Lechjakr; Viablaine (Söderquist); Marsteller, Sibučić, Serafino (Neptune); Valgard, Riise
Matchday 12 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Tasrailia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 13 | @ Tasrailia

Cosumar vs. Britonisea
Matchday 14 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Tanzanique vs. Cosumar
Matchday 15 | @ Tanzanique

Cosumar vs. The Macabees
Matchday 16 | @ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic

HUElavia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 17 | @ HUElavia

Cosumar vs. Juvencus
Matchday 18 | @ Crowley Memorial WC Stadium, Ramusok

Goals
Romikk Valgard (8)
Isla Sibučić (4)
Vega Zeale-Riddick (3)
Ragnar Targaryen (3)
Bryger Tidesson (3)
Semyon Yucob (2)
Sen Marsteller (2)
Airik Ruhl (2)
Aron Riise (2)
Ville Pakkanen (1)
Kurt Wolff (1)
Peter Svensson (1)
Torbjörn Jorgensen (1)
Hakki Ojala (1)
Kai-Kai Mokumdarian (1)
Hidalgo Antúnes (1)
Bellerophon Serafino (1)
Horatius Chaumancer (1)
Own Goal (2)

Assists
Ragnar Targaryen (4)
Romikk Valgard (4)
Isla Sibučić (4)
Bryger Tidesson (3)
Kai-Kai Mokumdarian (2)
Ville Pakkanen (2)
Bacary Na'Kale (2)
Ivan Hemeyer (2)
Alexis Brill (2)
Bellerophon Serafino (1)
Lorelei Neptune (1)
Hakki Ojala (1)
Hansi Weschler (1)
Airik Ruhl (1)
Semyon Yucob (1)
Mehmet Curwyk (1)
Aron Riise (1)

Appearances
Hidalgo Antúnes (3)
Tevreness Bale (5)
Dakota Blaylock (2)
Alexis Brill (2)
Horatius Chaumancer (7)
Vance Commerford (5)
Wiill Couturiaux (3)
Mehmet Curwyk (5)
Charles Dyer Vry (3)
Alora Heher (3)
Ivan Hemeyer (2)
Torbjörn Jorgensen (7)
Tomi Jakoljevic (5)
Tofer Kahlor (2)
Ambrose Karigomu (4)
Berk Lechjakr (5)
Sen Marsteller (5)
Kai-Kai Mokumdarian (10)
Kadija Na'Duha (3)
Bacary Na'Kale (8)
Shjegrzh Na'Kefir (8)
Lorelei Neptune (6)
Hakki Ojala (4)
Ville Pakkanen (8)
Aron Riise (1)
Airik Ruhl (4)
Bellerophon Serafino (9)
Isla Sibučić (9)
Karlus Sjunitsson (3)
Stig Söderquist (6)
Peter Svensson (8)
Ragnar Targaryen (7)
Bryger Tidesson (9)
Dexter Tricklebank (2)
Romikk Valgard (8)
Viablaine (3)
Hansi Weschler (2)
Kurt Wolff (6)
Semyon Yucob (4)
Vega Zeale-Riddick (3)