The Infinites: And Beyond! (Comedy, Supers, Space, OPEN) -IC

[Barapam]

The sci fi adventure had turned into a Film Noir full of Italian gangsters and grizzled Irish lizard cops. What kind of planet was this? Well, whatever it was, Irina couldn't let the Americans offer their help on their own. They were a team now, and besides, they represented Earth as a whole, not two rival superpowers. Also, Nikolai had already agreed to help, albeit quite reluctantly, so why shouldn't Irina? They were a collective, "one for" all and all that. So there was never really a doubt in her mind about what was the right thing to do. However, it might be good with a few pointers.

"Of course we are, but what exactly are we allowed to do? What's the law here?" She looked first at Captain Calculator, then at Officer Sullivan.

The tardigrade meanwhile, didn't do much. In fact, it stood almost completely still and philosophized about various things, such as the nature of the universe. "Hmm... still rainbow coloured... Is this permanent? I sure hope not, but I'll guess I'll just have to wait and see. The kilt feels pretty nice though. Maybe I'll keep it for a little while."

[The Last Abode of Pando]

Steve
Steve was shocked to find that this lizard person didn't say something like, "Hi, Steve!" It seemed like everyone else in the universe, whenever they first saw Steve, said that same phrase as before. Maybe someone finally didn't recognize it? Steve could only hope.

Any way, Steve was hovering in the air, emitting light, both from being light, and from glowing a brilliant shade of Honolulu blue. The ship approached Gecko City, Planet McPlanetface and Steve thought that it could see things waving at him from the inside of the craft. "Not this again."

Florida Man
David Adams
The *ahem* Neon Empire delegation *ahem* was acting as if they were a giant lighthouse, only not giant, except for the Steve, not light, except for the Steve and the rest of them, now glowing, and not a house; wait, that one actually fits. Um. There were brilliant blues and Gaelic greens, orange oranges and yellowy yellows, but, the one arrangement of colors that no one had yet paid attention to was to be found on David Adams. He was glowing with the shape and colors of the flag of Florida. He glowed with white and a red saltire emblazoned with the great seal of the state of Florida. Or like this in person form...

There had been nothing Infinite-like in the florida man news, so he couldn't be written to do anything funny yet. The florida man news was full of accusations and one man who cut the tails off five kittens. No kittens that the team knew of were to be found on Planet McPlanetface, so that wouldn't apply.

Ed and Aesculapius
Each of the twins was glowing a different color, but it was hard to tell where one color started and the other ended, so it just looked like they were glowing brown. They were also trying to avoid the lizards, because they didn't know what alien species thought of non-normal body types, and it could go to dissection bad. They just didn't know. Ed, trying to calm his nerves, started folding a fancier paper airplane than usual, and Aesculapius, looking at the lizards, started shooting tungsten shovels out of his chest at a 47.3141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102-7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628-2925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983-3673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146-5495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983729780499510597317328160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352-6193118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019893809525720-1065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927-7016711390098488240128583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935-1125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279678235478163600934172164121992458631503028618297455570674983850549458858692699569092721079750930295532116534498720275-596023648066549911988183479775356636° angle, due North-north-north-north-south-south-north-north-north-north-south-south-north-south-south-north-south-north-north-north-east, at a rate of 72.500000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 tungsten shovels per microfortnight. Then he turned back and saw the tungsten shovels shot out of his chest at a 47.3141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102-7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628-2925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983-3673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146-5495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983729780499510597317328160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352-6193118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019893809525720-1065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927-7016711390098488240128583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935-1125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279678235478163600934172164121992458631503028618297455570674983850549458858692699569092721079750930295532116534498720275-596023648066549911988183479775356636° angle, due North-north-north-north-south-south-north-north-north-north-south-south-north-south-south-north-south-north-north-north-east being shot out at a rate of 72.500000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 tungsten shovels per microfortnight and the shooting stopped. The shovels were still there, still moving. The stoppage referred to the fact that no more tungsten shovels were being created. That's not going to be suspicious at all.

All the aforementioned characters agreed to help, albeit silently, in their heads.

[Talchyon]

Officer Jimmy Sullivan, Gecko City Police, Planet McPlanetface

There was a range of answers from the newcomers. The answers encompassed everything from a loud and enthusiastic "Yes sir, we want to put ourselves in immediate danger for you, someone we just met" spoken by Captain Calculator and Auger, to the kicking and screaming "Putting myself in imminent danger to help a police officer is stupid and something I generally hate doing anyway" spoken by Nikolai, to the inquisitive "I am willing to help you fight but I want to know what is legal and or not legal so I don't get arrested too" statement by Irina, to the outspoken "We are willing to help - possibly - but officer you really need to know that we actually suck" declaration by Siorlo, to the quiet but very noticeable nonverbal statements by Loudmouth (against), Florida Man (for), and others.

The grizzled lizard police officer just shook his head and said, "If you want to fight, I'm not gonna arrest you. Anyone who helps take down the Paratti gang is not going to jail under my watch."

Glancing up, the police officer finally noticed Steve, floating in the air. "Steve! I didn't know you were with these guys! Well, any friend of Steve's is probably decent... either that, or really lonely and possibly messed up in the head... I mean, good to see you, Steve!"

At that moment, two things happened. The first was that a whole heck of a lot of tungsten shovels shot up into the air from Aesculapius' chest, clattering into a big pile a little distance away. This startled everyone just a bit. But the second thing that happened was his backup jr. cadet officer, Sammy, stepped out of the squad car and came up to her partner. Noticing her come up, he felt glad to have some experienced backup with him - because these clowns who just landed didn't seem to be the world's greatest at taking down mobsters. He also saw their ship land, about a half block away, and said to Captain Calculator and the rest, "That's them. Giulio Paratti's gang, here to make the deal with the Linguine's. If you're going to help, now's the time."

The doorway to the sleek ship opened, and about 10 lizards in pin striped suits and matching fedoras got out. A good 7-8 of them were heavily armed with old-fashioned machine guns. The others looked unarmed, but anyone who ever watches mobster movies knows they were armed to their lizard teeth with smaller weapons, some hidden in their coats, some in holsters, and some possibly stashed away in the area before they came. At that moment, about 10 other lizards, also in pin stripe suits, also with matching fedoras, also about as equally armed, approached from the other side. Two of the lesser armed lizards from both sides met in the middle, and began to discuss all manners of things - the health of one person's cousin, any mutual history they might have shared, and whether the Linguines had the payment with them. For whatever reason, they were all ignoring the glowing heroes and villains and rainbow colored tardigrade, somehow missing the glowing Florida flag shining out of the body of the one, because - well, they weren't the brightest of mobsters.

Officer Jimmy Sullivan called out, "Throw down your guns. You're under arrest!" And that's when the mobsters ducked for cover, and gunfire in the general direction of the heroes and villains and lizard officer(s) began...

---

Glitch

So like, have you ever had a craving for like cheese? Only, when you find the cheese, it's like all crusty and gross? Dude. Don't ever eat that. It reminded me of the one time when my friend Bubba and I were trying to get like a big hunking piece of cheese to gnaw on, 'cause we like had the munchies? And Dude. So like, there I was, all, "Come on, Bubba. We need to get some cheese, 'cause like nothing else will hit the spot, yuh know?"

But Bubba was like, "Dude. Cheese isn't gonna cut it." But I said,

"Dude, I will make it cut it. I will cut the cheese. And like, something cheesy will be in my emptiness of a belly, and it will be like, better."

So Bubba and I looked and looked around the fridge at his grandma's house where we were, and like, the only cheese there was super rock hard? Even the crusts on this cheese had crusts. I was beginning to think that somehow I had used my awesome powers by accident and caused all cheese to go on the fritz? An' like, I was feelin' all down an' all? But then, I had an idea!

"Dude! What if we, like, get the chainsaw! That would cut through it! I could crank it, and start it, and get it revvin, and then I would give it the cuts, and the incisions, and the chops, and..."

And somehow, Bubba interrupted me but I didn't hear it. He started telling me an outlandish tale as to what happened with his grandma's chainsaw? I don't really know all that he was saying. All I know is that he ended while I was still talking and not paying attention to him when he said, "PSYCH!"

"...lops, and slabs, and sutures, and every other kind of way that I know to cut cheese." So like, I totally spaced him out, and didn't get the whole story. But not like it mattered. We eventually found his grandma's chainsaw and everything like worked out?


But I digress.

So like, I've met aliens before. But never alien lizards. And never alien lizard mafia goons who want to shoot me. So dude. When the bullets started flyin', I started divin' to the ground, and looked for something - anything - to help us out. Not wanting to blow them out of the water too soon (because comic book companies tend to pay better for heroes that go a whole issue with taking out the bad guys in a single fight, and dude they don't pay heroes as well who take out the bad guys just like that 'cause then they have to add lots of dialog, yuh know?), I just crawled like a soldier to some trash cans I found nearby, and grabbed some of the lids as like some nasty odor filtrated up in the air. But I didn't care. Now I had some kind of shields. And maybe - just maybe - they would stop bullets.

[Dragonarya]

Fireworker

The festive hero shrugged. "We're Infinites," he said, "this is our job! Although a lizard never entered the equation unless you count that poor iguana... erm, we'd be happy to help."

That's when the bullets started flying. He yelled and noticed Glitch ducking and quickly followed suit, scurrying under the vehicle the police arrived in. Something hard came down on his foot for a moment, slowing him down. "Aces!" He exclaimed as he jammed himself underneath. "That was close!" At this point, he'd forgotten about protecting "Queen Aurora", he had his own skin to save! He aimed his hand like a gun at the iguanas then fired a firework, the explosion the color of their pinstripe suits. Nice hats, he thought with a shrug. These weren't just lizards; these were lizards with class.

Ivy

The youngest villainess cleared her throat as Jason volunteered them. "Ahem," she said, "I never signed up for this. Don't drag me with you." She crossed her neon green arms and threw her head back sassily. "Can't control us. Don't try."

Right on cue, the bullets began coming in sheets. She whipped around and jumped behind the police car, accidentally stepping on Fireworker in the process. "Mph," she said instead of an apology. The green teen looked at the trunk/door to the car and tried it. Unlocked, or maybe Glitch had bumped into it or something. She opened it and jumped in, leaving the door ajar for any others to join her. Yes, the big bad villain had a heart. Ish.

Hey! the Plant protested as she accidentally sat on it. He squirmed out to sit on her knee. She shoved him on a cabinet, earning more objection.

"It's going to get crowded," Ivy said aloud, not sure if the Plant could understand her when she spoke like that. Hang on. She scooted to a back corner, expecting more to come in, and began scouring the shelves for weapons. The best she found was a pistol with six bullets. She didn't know how to reload it, so she gripped it tightly and dared not fire it.

[The Assorted Saharan Outposts]

So, he bullets began to come in, flying from all sorts of places, and some places that Hypoxia didn't even notice. She had been too busy holding her breath. By now she had gotten blue in the face, and with a sudden, loud noise, she exhaled and inhaled at almost the same moment. She took a deep breath in and shook her head, looking around. Oh, they were getting shot at? Uh, cool. Pretty...pretty lights everywhere. Oh god her head....

"Ah, okay, light headed," Hypoxia muttered as she slowly got down to her knees, which actually saved her as she had moved out of the way of a bullet. "I'm soooo light headed. Oh god...lifeguard down...get out of the water, man. I don't even know...how long that was...jeez I need air..."

After a moment, Hypoxia looked up once more and glanced around in a daze. Right, space, lizard Mafia, planet mcplanet or whatever. "I've never held my breath that long...I think I'm getting better at this..."

Man, at this rate she'll get that record in no time. Though, she'd probably be all blue in the face if she went that long every time...she really felt like she needed a rest right now...

[Barapam]

With Sullivan's blessing, Irina was ready to step into action. Figuratively speaking. Literary speaking, she was totally unprepared, and as the shooting began, she shouted such explicite obscenities that any modern, angry Russian gamer would blush and gasp in shock upon hearing them. It was the kind of language that the Comics Code wouldn't even have allowed illustrated symbols for!

The cosmonaut rapidly retreated to the vessel the group had left mere minutes ago, and once inside, she produced the Makarov, which Nikolai had given her on the Squelch earlier, from her stocking. That's right, she had kept it the whole time, even though it perhaps wasn't mentioned in text when she changed clothes after getting out of the closet...

Miss Borisova then held it the cool way all the cool heroes do in all the cool cop movies: With both hands, at the same height as her face, with her back to the wall, and with a focused, slightly stressed face. She then did just what a movie cop would do: Jumped sideways out of the door opening, while firing wildly. If anyone had filmed her just then, and later played the video in slow motion, she would've looked really awesome. Now, not so much, since it was over so soon, and since her landing was less than elegant, to put it politely.

Muttering in pain, she fired the last of her shots, and cursed again when the gun clicked.

"#$@/*&% ★! Mischa! Get us some AKM:s! And maybe an RPG 7 or two!" she shouted to the villainous teddy bear behind her. Hopefully he wouldn't hurt his head with them this time...

The tardigrade on the other hand, remained as calm as ever. In fact, he got curious and started to walk towards the mobsters just to see what the fuzz was about, seemingly not caring about the lead-filled air at all.

[Estlobies]

Siorlo

---

"Well this is absurd", Estlo muttered as he quickly backed behind a vehicle of some sort. He spotted a suspicious-looking device placed upon the wheel thereof. "Nope, no explosives today", he said as he began to run elsewhere. "Perhaps I can remove these aliens, then the heroes too?" His consciousness kicked in, noting, "@!#&%$!@#, you probably won't even survive for ten minutes. Focus on the task at hand".

While running, he tripped and nearly fell over a manhole cover of sorts, yet he somehow went unnoticed in doing this. He thought quietly out loud for a moment, "Wait, maybe some things here can be converted into Palladium". His consciousness responded with, "Really? Now? !@#& this !@#&$!@". He made an attempt and came to the startling discovery that the very manhole cover structurally collapsed as he sub-atomically converted it! He looked through his immediate vicinity to do the same to some other objects, though it seemed that the manhole covers were the only things affected by his obscure ability.

As he continued to make his way around the action, he stumbled upon a 12-round semi-automatic shotgun, fully loaded. It had been conveniently placed on top of what looked to be a dumpster in this nearby alleyway, likely by the alien lizard mafia. As he found it, he crept back towards the gunfire, now with a new plan...

[Talchyon]

The fight scene in the secluded area, oh heck, let's just call it outside the old abandoned warehouse on the alien Old Abandoned Warehouse Lane
The classy but clueless lizard mafia goons

So far, it was a pretty one-sided fight. The lizard mafia guys shot, and other than some fireworks that pinged and gave some nasty burns, no one else was shooting back. The bullets had been flying, and the guns a firing, and the noise was ratcheting up in the darkness of the night. Everything was dark, except for Steve, because, well, he's a Steve and he always glows - not to mention the other heroes who were glowing in their neon colors that had yet to be removed. But remarkably, with all the easy targets that glowed in the dark, no one hit anyone.

The bullets died down. One of the lizard mafia goons sent a few of the others ahead to check out the situation. They had gone about thirty steps, looking around... and then were shot in the back by some trigger-happy and hyperactive members of their own gang. Yep. Friendly fire at its worst, shot by some mafia lizards who just like shooting things and were all around dim-bulbs in the brains department. So what if they slaughtered their own fellow henchmen? Those henchmen looked like the police, or vigilantes, or rival gang members, or members of their own gang who were also their own personal rivals, or just random people passing by. They deserved to be shot. The one or two lizards who were the leaders by virtue of them having brain cells in the triple digits buried their foreheads in their hands at their groups' stupidity.

At this point, one of the lizard mafia cried out, in response to Officer Jimmy Sullivan's arrest orders, "You'll never take us, copper!" Sullivan shouted back, "That only shows how much you know! I've only got lead on me, and no copper! And I'm packing!" (The grizzled police officer conveniently had a suitcase there, and several changes of clothes, some toiletries, and a few extra pairs of socks that he was putting nice and neat in the confines of his suitcase... but then he got back to business).

"What I want to know is, why are the Paratti's doing business with the Linguine's? Your gangs hate each other!"

At this, the infuriated lizards declined to offer any explanation, and instead answered with another round of bullets in his general vicinity.

---

Glitch

Dude! So like, Swimsuit babe (who I'm not into, yuh know, I just call her that because that's what she wears?) was like all, blue from like not breathing? An' I remembered how the last time, I had been trying to time her so she might like break the world record? And I was thrilled. I was positive that she had done it! Until I looked at my watch again. And this time, while the watch itself was working great, I realized I didn't actually remember what the time was when she started?

Dude.

"Like, sorry Swimsuit Babe. I was tryin' to time you for your world record again? Only like, I kind of forgot. Maybe next time, we'll time you for real."

It makes you wonder, since we're in space an' all, if world records are really world records, or if they're just Earth records. That's a question to ponder in the more serious times of life. Yuh know? Like when you get like all philosophical and start wondering about the tableness of tables and what makes tables tick? Other than ticks in the tables. But you get my gist.

[The Assorted Saharan Outposts]

"Aw, man, again?" Hypoxia asked as she slowly got up. Her breath was slowly coming back to normal, though it sounded like she was either choking on something, or just really needed to get her breath back. "Okay, okay. I can do that again. Don't worry. Just...not right now...I still need air..."

Speaking of air, there were bullets flying through the air. Not really sure what was happening at the moment (the lack of oxygen sort of short circuited her memory), Hypoxia quickly dived behind a barrel with the markings of the famous "Conveniently Placed Cover" corporation, and hid behind the wooden piece of decoration that happened to be there for convenience. Okay, guns and lizard people. Where were they again? Oh, right. She was in space. Well, not really in space, otherwise there wouldn't be air to breath, and she's really be in a bad situation, right there. She was on some sort of planet. ...how the heck did they even get here? Jeez that lack of oxygen really scrambled her.

"Okay, what do we do about the lizard people? Wait for them to shoot themselves?" She peaked around the barrel and a few bullets flew at her. Thankfully, the conveniently placed cover made of wood was able to withstand bullets. You see, that's why CPC (Conveniently Placed Cover) was always the best in making cover. It's always so durable. "They seem to be doing a good job at that."

[Zjaum]

Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw, Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln

The $.37 was supposed to be for his pool (yes, that's the most recent post for him), but Henry had little time to get angry before the lizard died. Henry was in shock. He had set his books against the plant, and, had he not taken the bet, he would have gone in the red, like, three cents! Not that it would have made a dent in his pocketbook, like, it was three cents, but the damage to his reputation as a respectable underground bookkeeper would have been too much to bear! At merely the thought, Henry was sent into shock, not speaking at all (for once). The fidget-spinner device didn't need any further hints as to what to say, not that Henry would hear it.

Aubree saw her friend lover lifelong acquaintance and rushed to his aid. "Henry! Henry! Speak to me! What happened to you?!" Not knowing how to deal with someone in shock, she shook him wildly. She picked Henry up and carried him through all the way... well, except for the part when the police officer stated "You! Whoever you are! Throw down your guns and put your hands up in the air!" Henry would have felt a lot of pain if we wasn't in shock, but, well, who was she to argue with the law?

She followed the police officer around, thinking quietly to herself: "Wow, there are a TON of superheroes here that I didn't see before. Like, over half of our group! Weird how that is." Upon seeing the lizard mafia, she already had her hands, quite literally, full, so there was very little she could do.

Amidst the gunfire, Aubree tried bringing back Henry from the land of the... shocked? "Oh, Henry! You have to wake up now! [(She really didn't know how shock worked.)] Doesn't all these urban geckos making fun quips bring up memories? Like insurance companies! Like... like AllNationState! 'Let's all NationState stand. Are you in good countries?' 'NationState is on your side!' Or... or Failures' Insurance! 'We are Failures! Bum bee-dum bum bum bum bum!'" The music got flatter as the jingle went on.

The crummy spoof lines, coupled with the fact that she couldn't even get the reference right, jumbled around in the back Henry's mind (I don't know how shock works, either). In a massive jolt, Henry sprung to life, promptly falling off of Aubree's arms onto the warehouse ground. In a confused and enraged fury over something his consciousness didn't quite understand but his subconscious realized all too well, he flung himself at the lizard mafia foe, wishing for the cold embrace of death, shooting as many finger rockets as he could fire in a short time, screaming at the fedora-wearing gangsters:

"FOURTEEN MINUTES COULD SAVE YOU FOURTEEN PERCENT OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE!"

Aubree charged forward too, her skin deflecting (or nullifying) the barrage of bullets sent her way.

[NightWing]

Pandemonium
She's back
Her Imperial Majesty of the Neon Empire

Pandemonium was disappointed, to say the least, that she wasn't seen as a queenly figure. No matter; she would show them. Sighing, she acted extremely disappointed. "I suppose we're on the wrong plant, then."

That's when the mafia appeared. By all standards, this was your typical mob boss of the cinema, save for them being, well, lizards. She stood up straighter. Of course, her moment to shine as royalty was ruined by bullets streaming through the air.

"$&#@ this all!" She screamed, holding out her hands and summoning her power into hopefully a weapon. C'mon, just one gun, pistol, flintlock, a broadsword for all I care, just not a-

-Bag of Cheetos. That's right. Queen of the Neon Empire was now holding a family sized pack of Cheetos. Stress eating? At the moment, the mafia seemed to be missing her entirely, so she took a moment to pop open the bag and snack. In fact, she sat down criss-cross-apple-sauce as they taught in Kindergarten and munched away like she was in the theater, watching a crime movie. In 4D!

"Keep up the good work!" She screamed as heroes and villains alike rushed around the scene. "This is great!" She popped another Cheeto in her mouth. Just then a bullet whizzed by, reminding her that she was a part of this crappy sci-fi crime movie. Startled by the very nature of reality, which to be honest sucked, she jumped to her feet and rushed to hide in the police car, only to find someone was already there. So she did the best applicable thing.

[The Cyberiad Council]

Auger
Space Cowboy
Having Way Too Much Fun

"Yeee Haw!"

Auger started to exchange fire with the mafia almost as soon as they arrived, but he quickly abandoned the stand-in-the-middle-of-the-street-high-noon-stand-off strategy and dove into an alleyway. He tried to peek out, but every time he tried a hail of bullets shaved a few inches off the corner of the alley. Deciding rather disappointedly that he couldn't take them all down, the waited until the firing lulled, signaling that they were reloading. He jumped out, and screamed, "Reach for the sky and get ready to meet yer maker!"

He then proceeded to miss every shot, except for the last one with only managed to shoot a gun out of one of the Lizard's hand. On its own, that might have been impressive, but then the Lizard simply reached down and picked it back up. "Darn it!"

The gunfire resumed and Auger crouched down behind a car parked on the street. When Goldilocks charged, drawing their fire, Auger got an idea. He took the whip off the loop on his belt and started using it with some interesting effects. Keeping behind Aubree as cover he started whipping at the Lizards. No one likes to be whipped (it really stings), and the lizards were no different. They started backing up and dropping their guns when they were struck with the whistling piece of leather.

[Zjaum]

Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln

Aubree didn't notice the cowboy behind her, but she did hear the unmistakable opening of a bag of Cheetos. She had immediate flashbacks from her childhood...

"Mommy, why can't I have Cheetos?" Aubree stared longingly at her mother.
Her mother stopped washing the dishes and looked down at her daughter. "Well, honey, Cheetos usually aren't on sale, and we only get things that are on sale."
"But I saw an advertisement on the television that says that everyone loves Cheetos."
"Well, everyone loves Cheetos, but most people don't have Cheetos."
"Well, what about the Joneses?"
"Why, honey, the Joneses are too poor to afford Cheetos."
"Well, what about the Richardsons? They have lots of money!"
"No, honey, the Richardsons don't have Cheetos because they're going on a diet."
"Oh... so, what about the Mikees? They'll eat anything!"
"Aubree, the Mikees grow their own food!"
"Oh, so I guess nobody can eat Cheetos... do you suppose princesses could?"
Her mother laughed. "Yes, yes, Aubree; I'm sure princesses could eat Cheetos."

Aubree paused and sniffed the air. It was Cheetos! She immediately turned from her course (exposing whoever might have been behind her) and moved to the car where the bag was held. "My, my, that's quite a kingly-" she looked up and saw that the bearer was female- "a queenly snack you have there! Might I have one, Your Majesty?"


Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw

Blimp Man's fury had only served to exhaust some of his more useless finger rockets- just the extra-bouncy ones, the disintegrating (sorry, "biodegradable"... thanks, EPA) ones, and the eye-bothering ones. The most damage he did was in barreling into one of the irritated (mostly from the circumstances, partially from the eyes) lizard mafia things.

Blimp Man paused before he incapacitated his reptilian foe. This was a good opportunity to clarify a few things. "Are you in charge of the United States government?!" he shouted. He didn't really believe it, of course, but he just wanted to make sure. A "yes" would rock his world in such a way that he would have been glad he brought it up.

[Barapam]

Meanwhile, at a completely different place, in a completely different time...

(Hmm... is it really "meanwhile" if it's during a completely different time though? I suppose it isn't, but what other word can we use? But if time isn't linear, as quantum physics teaches us it isn't, which I think it teaches us, I mean it was pretty long ago I saw that documentary on TV, then maybe it's right to say it anyway? And by "it" I mean "meanwhile" in this case.

I'll be honest, I don't really know...

... I'll shut up now and let you enjoy the story.)

Hans Waltz, a blond, blue-eyed, handsome young fighter pilot, returned in his swastika-emblazoned Messerschmitt Bf 109 from a successfull mission on the Eastern Front. The Russkies had gotten just what they deserved, and Hans had personally shot down three Polikarpov I-16:s in a tough dogfight that nearly had cost him his life, but now he was back over friendly territory, and could allow himself to unwind with a cigarette. Just as he lit it, however, there was a strange light in the sky. Not an explosion, not a solar reflection, and not even Steve, but something that was more like a ring of fire. Inside the ring was a city. An American city, judging by the architecture. As it had appeared out of nowhere, just in front of Hans' plane, he had no time to maneuver away, not even if he hadn't taken it for some kind of strange mirage, which he had done, before his aircraft went right through it. Man and machine fell into the ring of fire, and went down, down, down... in the burning ring of fire. Next thing Hans knew, to his great shock, was that he was no longer above Russian soil, but rather dangerously close to the ground of this strange city, and that there were people - well, lizards in suits anyway- everywhere. There was no going back either, the wormhole behind had closed and vanished in thin air behind the plane, just as spontanously as it had appeared.

Hans cursed, and true to his name he tried to steer away and waltz away from as many lizards as he could (he was very fond of all God's creatures, even humanoid reptiles in tailored Italian jackets), but the crash was inevitable. Hans braced himself and screamed, fearing the worst. "This is it!" he thought. "Elsa, if you can hear me, I love you! Don't mourn me too long, find someone to live on with! As long as it isn't that #@&%"/! idiot, you know who I mean, the guy who..."

Just then, the plane stopped. The breakes had finally kicked in. From what little Hans could see over his shoulder, there was a trail of destruction in the street behind him, but at least he was alive. Miraculously, his cigarette had stayed lit, and upon noticing that, Hans took a deep breath and blew some smoke up to the glass ceiling. He then pulled his Luger, and stepped out of the German wreckage. Some of the lizards had been armed, and he was pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate him just having slaughtered their comrades...

Irina Borisova

Nikolai had obviously not heard her, or maybe he simply hadn't bothered, but whatever the case, Irina couldn't just lie directly in the line of fire. With that in mind, she quickly crawled back to the ship, with her empty gun still in hand. She figured it wasn't entirely useless... she could probably use it as a boomerang, if nothing else...

Once she had taken cover, a sudden light illuminated the dark sky just over them. Curious about what trick Steve had up his sleeve, Irina peeked out, only to hear, and see, that it wasn't Steve's doing at all, unless she had vastly underestimated his powers, but given what she saw, she doubted that.

"What the... What's an enemy from a war that ended more than 20 years ago doing here? And... is he helping us!?!"

The tardigrade was nowhere to be seen.

[The Assorted Saharan Outposts]

The crash of the plane had taken both Hypoxia and the Grunt by surprise. The Grunt, of course, was hiding in the back. No one noticed him doing his Grunt things in the background. No one ever notices a Grunt grunting until the grunting turns to swinging and punching, of course.

Hypoxia
As soon as the plane had landed, Hypoxia had fell down out of shock, landing on her stomach and covering her head with her hands. "Ah! The lizards god plans now! Lizard plans!" ...or was it plane lizards? One of the two. Either way, Hypoxia would open her eyes once again and notice the man with the swatztika on his outfit. She blinked and stared at the man for a bit.

"Uh...apparently the lizards also have nazis?" Nazi lizards? Almost as bad as nazi zombies! She should know. She dealt with nazi zombies before, but never Nazi zombie lizards! ...oh, wait, no. This wasn't a zombie. Wait...what's going on?

Grunt
Grunt would turn around to see the man who had just came out of the plane. He stared at the blondey for a moment as he crossed his arms, a small grin spreading across his face. "Heh. Nice entrance, bud. Couldn't have done it better myself."

PUNCH HIM! The grunt hivemind suddenly shouted in his head, causing him to cover his ears. Agh, he hated that. Curse the Grunt hivemind! It'll never leave him alone! Punch him! Walk straight into the line of fire! Swallow his gun or something! Do grunt things!

"No, man. That's not the way I work now," he muttered to himself. "That kinda stuff ain't cool. I gotta talk to the guy."

He swore never to pay attention to the hivemind again. He couldn't start now!

[Barapam]

The captain marvelled at his new surroundings. It seemed the lizards weren't the only lifeforms around; a minor distance away humans, of all colours (and not just the four racial colours Hans knew), stood in groups near what looked like some sort of spacecraft. It was evident that they were aliens. The fighter pilot blinked, but what he saw stayed the same. It began to dawn on him that he was on another planet, maybe even another dimension, but what kind of world was this? And more importantly, how would he return to Earth?

A voice addressed him, which made him spin around and point his gun at the grunt. He instinctively felt that this was a very unimportant person, a person even a good guy could beat up or even shoot without feeling bad afterwards, even if the only reason was that the guy was simply standing there, generally in front of you. Hans however, didn't shoot. Instead he replied the man, in good, but heavily accented, English.

"Cut the crap and tell me where we are, and how I get out of here!"

[Dragonarya]

Fireworker

As more people piled into the car, a muffled voice came from below. "Aces, you guys are heavy! Try to loosen it up on me, got it?" He shimmied so he was halfway out, then got stuck. "Crap. Should've gone on that diet."

That's when he saw the Nazi. Now Jason, being Jewish, had a deep down hatred of Nazis. It'd just never had a chance to shine until now. "IT'S THE $@&#ING NAZIS!!!" he screamed, shooting fireworks at him. "GO BACK TO YOUR TIME ZONE, RACIST FILTH!!!"

Ivy

Ivy, however, was atheist, so she didn't really care about his views. She cared about people taking her seat. "Yeah, right," she told Andy. "Like I'm gonna move."

That's when she heard Fireworker screaming. Interested, she hopped up, grabbed a handful of Cheetos (without asking), and ran out, gun in hand. Time to put this neon power to use, she thought as she stuffed Cheetos in her mouth and raised the gun, aiming at the newcomer.

"By the order of the Neon Empire, you are under arrest!"

[The Assorted Saharan Outposts]

Grunt

Say something generic! Quick say something generic it's the perfect opportunity!

"Think you're some sort of tough guy, huh?" Grunt asked before suddenly punching himself in the face, making himself step back a few...steps. Dude, you said you'd never listen to that hivemind! You're not a grunt anymore!

"Look, you're on some planet. Planet McPlanetface or whatev-"

Suddenly the bullets started flying towards this weird Nazi dude. That's when Grunt decided to jump behind some more Conveniently Placed Cover. This time it was a cardboard box that would probably be able to block bullets somehow. That's what the motto for the CPC corporation always said. "We'll block bullets, no matter what!"

Yeah, Grunt just didn't want to get shot. He's had that happen before. It happens a lot more often then you think. It always sucks. He lands on the ground and then gets back up again for another round, then kinda just awkwardly shuffles to whoever shot him, saying some generic tough guy saying. Getting shot was annoying.

[Zjaum]

Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln

The loud screaming and heavy accusations coming from outside the car took Aubree out of her Cheeto trance. She got out and surveyed the scene. "By my stars and garters..."
"Henry! Henry! You've gotta see this!"
Blimp Man tossed the lizard body aside. "Ah, it's no use. The lizard's too dead to talk. What is it, Aubree?"
"There's a Nazi out there!"
"Aubree, if I told you once I told you a thousand times: you can't just call anyone a Nazi!"
"But, Henry, he's a literal Nazi!"
Henry heard the word "literal" misused once too many. "Still not sure if you're serious. How can you tell?"
"He has a swastika, Henry."
"Well, he could be Indian."
"And he has blond hair and blue eyes."
Henry paused, slowly running out of options to eliminate. "Yup. Probably a Nazi then."

The two of them returned to the scene, a tad more calmly as they adapted to the sound of bullets. Henry leaned against the police car, smoothly talking above the plantfire. "Huh. Well, our set of postmodern political ideology branches is complete. Nice to know that we have representatives now of two defunct authoritarian ideologies."
Aubree was hesitant to reach out to the pilot (her black hair and bronzed skin probably wouldn't make her a welcome sight), but Henry stepped out to meet him. He'd gotten as desensitized to bullets as he had to the term "Nazi" at this point. I mean, he just did battle with a reptilian mafia; compared to them, a single Nazi sounded like a cake walk. Still, he couldn't resist a quick laugh at Gerry's expense. He mentally pulled out his big book of fun facts. "Hello there! We're an intergalactic peacekeeping force, and we're currently studying the theory of Welteislehre. You studied that back in Deutschland, right? Could you explain your scientific theories in greater detail, please?"

[Talchyon]

The battle scene commences
Random lizard mafia man in a pinstripe suit

Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw

Blimp Man paused before he incapacitated his reptilian foe. This was a good opportunity to clarify a few things. "Are you in charge of the United States government?!" he shouted. He didn't really believe it, of course, but he just wanted to make sure. A "yes" would rock his world in such a way that he would have been glad he brought it up.

At the sight of Blimp Man, the lizard mafioso burst out in laughter at the sight of a weird looking alien with deflated balloons on his shoulders and a fan on his back coming towards him. And hearing the alien's question (understanding English perfectly, of course, because why not - I'm the OP), the fedora-wearing reptile burst out in even more laughter. Of all things an alien would ask. So, more or less to humor Blimp Man than anything else, the lizard responded, "Yeah. I sure am. I secretly run that government in my spare time."

(If you have never seen a lizard smile and burst out laughing, well, Blimp Man probably hadn't either. It is a sight to see. Like all sights that you see. You have to see a sight, for it to be a sight, and especially for it to be a sight to see worth seeing. If you were hearing sights, or touching smells, or smelling sights, there'd be an imbalance in the universe to gastronomically huge proportions so much so that all the midichlorians in the world wouldn't be able to set it straight. Either that, or the person writing about this was awful at understanding and using the parts of English grammar and syntax.)

The lizard mafioso was of course, going to explain even more about how he secretly used the I.R.S. to target natural organic food stores, and was planning to change the Department of the Interior to the Department of Interior Decorating, and how he was also in league with the Illuminati and all conspiracy theories were true. That is, until one of the deflected bullets off Aubrey came back and killed him just like that. And so fell the secret power and force behind the U.S. government, namely, some random nameless alien lizard mafia type who had never heard of the country until just then. (Or had he?)

---

The commencing battle scene that was commencing, commenceth furtherest

And what a fight it was. Auger's whip was snapping and cracking. Finger rockets and fireworks were also snapping and cracking. All they needed was popping and they'd have infringed on the trademark and copyright of the trademarked and copyrighted Rice Krispies' cereal slogan. For the sake of the legality of this RP, it was a good thing they weren't exactly popping. Pop-crashing might be a better word for it, and less liable. The rockets and fireworks shot through the air at very low altitudes. Calculators were also shooting out at very low altitudes. Sometimes the calculators shot by Captain Calculator's uncanny power to fire off calculators from an alternate dimension where there are nothing but calculators and calculator generators, exploded in midair due to the finger rockets and fireworks. Don't forget the bullets that were flying out, too. In the melee, the hubbub, the ado, the what-the-heck-is-going-on-ness that characterizes all battle scenes on Planet McPlanetface - at least as far as the Infinites and villains knew, this being their first battle on the planet and not having a large enough sample size to make adequate comparisons to - in all of this, somehow, there were still lizard mafioso left to fight!

Officer Jimmy Sullivan had finished putting the shirts, slacks and other odds and ends in his suitcase. Then, just because he thought it might be handy, he also put a plumber's drainpipe in. Why, you might ask? So he could say that he was literally packing lead. But then, realizing that this was stupid, he went to do something more helpful. First, he ducked behind the limp form of Glitch. Then he crawled his way to behind Hypoxia hidden behind the Conveniently Placed Cover Company's Conveniently Placed Cover (aptly named product). After this, he crawled his way to behind the Grunt behind another Conveniently Placed Cover Company's Conveniently Placed Cover (aptly named product). Taking a mental note to write this company a thank you note when this battle was all over, Officer Sullivan came to a lizard mafioso with his gun reloaded and drawn. "You are under arrest! Throw down your guns," he yelled in his most authoritative voice he could.

But that's when he heard (somehow, over all this) the cold, steely click of a revolver being chambered. Another lizard mafioso was behind him, about three feet, with his firearm aimed at the police officer. "I don't think so, copper. You see, I got you now. You put down your weapon." The angry and worried police officer did as he was told. The lizard behind him said, "I'm going to enjoy taking down a copper. And when it's all done, you'll be lying in a pool of your cold blood. So say your prayers. You are about to leave this earthly life as you knew it." And squeezing the trigger...

...he missed. Coathangerman had snuck up a little behind Officer Sullivan and was covering his back. When the arrogant and smug lizard mafia type was about to fire at Officer Sullivan, Coathangerman took one of his wire hangers, hooked it on the gun, and pulled just before the lizard shot. And it worked. The coathanger pulled the gun away from the Officer Sullivan in the line of fire. So of course the shot missed. Coathangerman had saved the police officer's life! Coathangerman, of all people! When the shot missed, Officer Jimmy Sullivan felt a surge of fear because he thought he had been shot, and then, when he realized he hadn't, was extremely grateful and turned around to fight with the lizard. He got the gun out of the lizard's scaly hands, and hit him on the side of his head with his own gun. Meanwhile, Coathangerman had approached the other lizard, whipping his hardened plastic coathangers at the lizard's exposed skin. It was a good thing Coathangerman played tuba in his polka band back at home, because the rhythm he had learned as a musician somehow transferred over to accuracy in hitting lizards with coathangers. Whipped up, the lizard fell to the ground, beaten up and knocked out.

And that's when the spaceship landed.

Fortunately, the spaceship landed on half the remaining lizards. As if, for plot convenience sake, there'd be less of them to have to fight. And when the obviously Aryan-looking pilot stepped out, and the confusion that was happening with that, one of the other lizard mafioso type slithered his way to the police car with his machine gun drawn. Hoping to find cover, he instead found a whole bunch of Infinites and villains squished together in the car. A smile spread across it's face.

"Well, lookee what we have here. A bunch of spandex-wearing weirdos all hiding out in a police car like they were deputies or somethin'. It'd be a shame for all of these weird spandex-lovers to die all at once. But, sometimes you just have bullets that are itching to be shot..." And he aimed the machine gun at everyone in the car. Gulp.

[Barapam]

Okay, so to sum up his current situation, there were both good things and bad things. Mostly bad things. The good things were that Hans had gotten most of his questions answered, and that since the strangers knew about the Nazis, they likely knew about Earth too. Always a start. The bad things were that they were trying to kill him, but he was kind of used to people doing that by now anyway, so it didn't bother him that much really, and that they mistook him for being one of Hitler's henchmen, a fighter for the Führer, a nefarious, no-good Nazi, and a whole bunch of other adequate alluring alliterations, alliterations that actually were neither particularly adequate nor alluring. That was what frustrated Hans the most about all this, as he ducked down behind the crashed aeroplane to avoid Firework's fireworks, and the arrest order of the Neon Empire (because what had he done that was illegal? Except for having killed and injured lots of their citizens, violated their airspace and space-space, entered without a valid intergalactic passport, driven recklessly, and resisted arrest...). He already liked Grunt the best. the grunt was the perfect opponent, he had given him valuable information, beaten himself up, and politely gotten out of the way. "If only the Russians were more like him..."

Luckily, Blimp Man provided the perfect opening for Hans to explain their unfortunate little mistake in a civilized and friendly manner. He decided to do so by shooting a round at Henry's big book of fun facts, for starters.

"YOU #$%!+^@!! MORONS! CAN'T YOU SEE THE SWASTIKA IS BLUE!? I'M FROM FINLAND, NOT GERMANY!!!"

[Estlobies]

Siorlo, still running around the action, was spotted by one of the lizard aliens. The lizard yelled for others to change the direction of their fire, but it couldn't be heard over the ensuing barrage of bullets flying through the air. "@#$%", he exclaimed relatively quietly. He began to fire the shout gun randomly behind him, and after seven shots he heard a loud hiss, which led him to think that he'd killed the mafioso. This wasn't the case, as the lizard had been squashed by a spaceship. Siorlo, of course, was too busy running away to notice.

After running to the back of the ship, he found the door to a hatch that read. "C.P.C. Convenient Entrance". "Props to the Convenient Placement Corporation on this one", he said. He quickly grabbed the handle to the hatch and climbed up inside the spaceship. "How @#$%&$% opportune", his consciousness sarcastically whined.

About twenty seconds after climbing into the spaceship, he dropped his shotgun outside of the ship. "Great job, you @$#&%#$ imbecile", his consciousness snarled.

He suddenly overheard something in a foreign yet raspy voice, then distinguished it to be the phrase, "sometimes you just have bullets that are itching to be shot...".

"Oh @#%$", he whispered to himself.

[The Last Abode of Pando]

Steve
Steve was simply watching the fighting going on below it, because it was a light that cannot touch anything. However, Steve realized, after what everyone thought was a Nazi plane crash, that it should probably say something, so it did. "Hey. You guys down there, would you stop firing your guns?" Steve knew that it was a long-shot, but what else could it do, blind them? Actually, that works better.

All of a sudden, Steve decided to attempt blinding the lizard mafia with his light. It descended from the sky directly on top of them and just waited. Or the fact that lizards do better in bright, hot conditions. Oh well. Steve paid no attention to the Finn.

Old Florida Man
Joshua James, now a powerless bystander, ran to the car the earthlings were also heading to. His only thoughts were about how strange his life had become after he threw that alligator into the Wendy's over a year ago. Now he was stuck in space, on a planet run by lizard mafia, surrounded by bullets, and probably about to die, none of this would have happened if he just never showed up to Orient, Minnesota that one day. It even caused him to be covered in molten lead and set on fire for around a year, but that had ended just as rapidly as it had started. Joshua James paid no attention to the Finn.

Florida Man
David Adams
Florida Man, being unusually quiet and standing unusually still for someone in the middle of a gunfight, realized that his best plan of action was to go to the Conveniently Placed Corporation's Conveniently Placed coral aquarium, conveniently placed on his side of the street, to steal a weapon. In his bag, he was able to fit several pieces of coral, including bits that were wavy, brain-shaped, or other coral-shaped, and a giant clam. This would be his weapon that he would have to use to defend himself with. David left the store and took off around the block, so he could get into position behind the lizard mafia. The lizards at the back of the formation felt the wrath of a kilted glowing Florida Man armed with several pieces of coral and a giant clam in a bag. Florida Man paid no attention to the Finn.

Ed and Aesculapius
Ed and Aesculapius paid no attention to the Finn, until he got out of the fighter plane.
"What's a Nazi fighter pilot doing here on Planet McPlanetface?" Ed, using the powers granted by the spork, asked the narrator pleadingly.

"Psst. Look at the color of the swastika."

"Oh, he's right, Ed. It's a blue swastika. The Finnish Air Force started using them in 1919. Now if it was a red swastika, then he would be a Nazi."

"Oh yeah. Well, it's good we figured that out. Thinking that he was a Nazi would have had really bad side affects, like firing at him, or being distracted from the fight scene. Glad that didn't happen."

Everyone seemed to be paying no attention to the large pile of tungsten shovels that had shot out of Aesculapius's chest. Odd, tungsten is essentially bulletproof. The twins, in full plate armor, armed with a sword, bow, satchel, and alien spork, noticed the pile and ran/half-jogged over to it. Each picked up a shovel and heaved it spade first at the lizard mafia. During the time that they were heaving those shovels, both of the twins saw Florida Man's coral.
"Aesculapius. Look. Coral. That can only mean one thing..."

"I know! Polyp's finally with the Infinites again! Why did he decided to become a tour guide in the first place?"

"I don't know, but I'm glad he's back."

Realizing after they threw the shovels not a great distance, because tungsten is dense and a shovel of tungsten would weigh roughly 50 pounds, that throwing the tungsten shovels would be a bad idea, they headed off in the direction of the Infinites' car. They saw the one lizard with his machine gun pointed at the Infinites in the car. Ed, thinking quickly, folded a new fleet of paper airplanes from his satchel, breathing life into them.

As usual these airplanes would fire at everything that moved, and then some.

http://kxan.com/2017/12/05/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-coral/

[Dragonarya]

Fireworker

Jason was still stuck under the car, but he ceased firing immediately. "Oh. My apologies. Didn't really notice that..." he gulped and began to shimmy out of the car. "Here we go again..." he stopped when someone approached him. A young villainess - Ivy was here name? She extended a hand to him. "Why aren't you still trying to arrest the Na- the Finn?" Was all he could say.

She snorted. "Because it was an epic flop, that's why. I knew this Neon Empire was no good." She paused. "Are you taking the hand or not?"

"Oh. Yes." Fireworker grabbed it, and somehow the fifteen year old pulled the twenty one year old out from under the car. Maybe this planet had funky gravity. "Thanks, but why'd you help?"

"SO MANY QUESTIONS. I don't know, I'm supposed to be capturing you right now, aren't I? This mafia's messed us all up. Just be grateful." Fireworker nodded and happened to look over her shoulder, noticing the lizard.

"That's a problem," he observed. Ivy furrowed her brow, like she had no idea what he was talking about. "See, over there? A lizard's got a gun pointed at the car." She shrugged, like So what? Fireworker sighed. "BECAUSE THERE'S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!" Not thinking, he pointed at the police car for effect. Naturally a firework shot and hit the police car, knocking it over. The two jumped back.

"Something tells me you made it worse," Ivy said. Fireworker groaned.

Plant

Well, everyone seemed to forget that there was a sentient plant sitting inside the car, on one of the shelves. He kept silent the entire time - or maybe not, no one would know anyway. He didn't even comment on the mob boss pointing a gun at him.

What he did react to was that the car suddenly tipped and fell. He, along with a bunch of IPW™s (Inconveniently Placed Weapons, trademarked) suddenly toppled to the ground. He was nearly crushed by a can of mystery contents. Strange fumes filed the air, smelling like the Fourth of July after a fireworks show. All this probably distracted the lizard, which Plant took to his advantage.

I've killed a lizard before, I can do it again! he thought bravely. Scurrying out of the mess of IPW™s, he came outside the car and landed at the feet of the mafia member. Without thinking, he jumped on his right foot and began climbing up his pants leg. He kept going until he reached the top, which is when he entered the shirt and resumed the process. When he came to the collar, he jumped onto the lizard's face, which is when he promptly shoved himself in its mouth. Weird, yes. Stupid, yes. Dangerous, yes. Successful... debatable. Plant, Lizardslayer, had killed the first with poison. He could do it this time, too.

[Talchyon]

Epic fight scene commences, which means, it's still going on - for those of you readers who are a little slow, or the OP, who also is a little slow, as is evident by the amount of time between his last post and this one
The lizard with the machine gun by the police car

Just as the homicidal lizard in the pinstripes and fedora was about to squeeze all the rounds out of his machine gun into the passengers and people in or near (or under) the police car, several things happened at once. First, in a loud explosion and bright red and orange colored lights with smoke (as if someone set off one of those expensive 4th of July fireworks right near the car), the car tipped over! It tipped more than Tipper Gore. More than Tippecanoe and Tyler too. More than wingtips. More than Q-tips. It was the tippiest. That, and all the jostling around of people, other people, a sentient plant, and inconveniently placed weapons that jabbed everyone in the car in uncomfortable places, made for a surprise. The lizard was stunned, and forgot to shoot.

Then, to make matters worse, a whole squadron of paper airplanes started shooting paper missiles at everything, including the lizard. The missiles didn't kill. Or even wound much. But they were annoying as anything that is annoying, is annoying. The pinstriped lizard unsuccessfully tried to swat the planes away. But to no avail.

And just as he was going to yell out curses at those animated paper airplanes, or the fact that the car had flipped over blocking any clean shot he might have had, he found something in his mouth! A plant, of all things! Rather than bite down and start chewing, the lizard tried to spit Plant out. Unsuccessfully too. (Notice his level of skill and ability? Maybe that's why they put him on the machine gun, because target practice wasn't his strong suit either). Plant's leafy body bothered the inside of his mouth, and he just tried to spit as much as he could.

Conveniently, he dropped his gun, now trying to take plant out of his mouth.

---

Officer Jimmy Sullivan

The grizzled police officer reloaded his gun, and then scanned the scene. Most of the lizard gang members were dead, their bodies twisted in lifeless shapes scattered across the ground. There were a few that were still alive. One was slithering up to that airplane that popped out of nowhere, a gun in each hand. Another was uselessly firing away at Steve. Even though the lizard recognized Steve, that didn't mean that he wasn't going to shoot. Another lizard was sneaking up behind Siorlo with a knife. And there might have been a few others who had gotten away. Officer Jimmy Sullivan couldn't tell one way or the other.

But he called out - mostly to Siorlo and the Finnish airplane contingent. "Watch out for those guys coming at you!"

---

Meanwhile, back on the Squelch

The super-secret, warned-against-entering, danger room where Glitch somehow found his way in and the others also saw, that room - was empty save for Woody who was slumbering away in his encasement. Low sounds of gas exhaust were coming from the technological machine that was housing Terry's peanuts, as normal. The video screens were now showing just an unhelpful nothing, and the door had been left open. Of course.

And then.

All of a sudden, the peanut machine started making louder noises. The gas exhaust from the chamber with the peanuts grew more rapid in tempo. A bright, unusual light flared on, drenching the peanuts in its beams. For varying durations of time, the lights continued to flare on, and then turn off for a few moments, only to come back on again. The gas exhaust was now hot, heavy and very quick. The machine itself began to heat up, somewhat. Warm to the touch, and loud due to the release of the gas, something - and I mean something - very strange was going on there...