"I have a question!" announced Henry as he descended from the sky. "Which is a better element: technetium... or thorium?!"
With that, he pulled out his thorium-finger-rocket prototype and set them loose upon the audience. The doctors pulled out their own technetium-based weaponry, but they were too late, as well as no match for Henry's experience with finger-rockets. Each rocket hit its target and erupted into a miniature explosion. Granted, "miniature" only meant a couple inches tall, but it was still enough to set patrons' hair on fire! The audience erupted into a frenzy and left the room in a panic. The doctors, alone, were forced to surrender. "What are your terms, o great thorium one?"
"I want a press release in which you declare that thorium is superior to technetium, as well as all your stock of technetium and uranium! I have new slides that you will use to that end!" Henry tossed them a USB drive.
They caught it. "You're a madman! No one person can have that much power!"
"Perhaps, but I'm not at the receiving end of a finger rocket, now, am I?!"
They couldn't disagree with his logic, so they agreed to his terms. As the price of thorium skyrocketed, Henry quickly became the richest man in Minnesota. With his power, he purchased the reserve that contained his hole-home and seceded from the United States, becoming the first new nuclear power in decades!
At least, that's how he envisioned it. His plans were frustratingly stalled, though, when a
metal can descended from the sky, stealing away all the attention he so rightfully deserved! Mildly miffed, he ascended up to the metal can. His lifelong dream of parity with France would have to wait, and he would have to make contact with what seemed like aliens.
It dawned on him as he heard the snarls coming out of the machine that nobody on Earth could understand their language, and it was likely that none of them could understand English. Still, they needed to know that he heard them, and he needed to know if they heard him.
He came within an arm's length of the alien can. Nobody down below could hear him, and nobody u above could understand him. He could say anything he wanted. Time for some fun! "Greetings, Metal Can People! I am Nyak Nat, the leader and Lord Protector of Earth and its dolphin population! I shoot molten gold from my hands and lightning from my belly button! Rainbows follow me wherever I go! Kneel before me, you peons!"
Henry chuckled and awaited a response. It was doubtful that he would understand their response, but they would be confused regardless. He waved down to the people beneath him. It was going to be a fun day!