NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Ransium]

You have no idea. The first issue I wrote, #505: Florists Blooming Mad, was submitted in 2013 but didn't get accepted until this year. It's acceptance is what finally got me back into issue writing. (Interestingly, the second one I wrote was accepted earlier - #424: You Just Sank My Battleship - but I wasn't on NS at the time. I didn't even know it was in the game until I got it on one of my puppets!)

It's amazing what a few years have done for GI. Back in 2013, you might wait 1-2 weeks to get one response or for it to fall off the front page. I had to solicit region members in order to get any opinions on my drafts. Now . . . well, you see how it is now. It's fantastic and I love the culture now.

Yeah I wouldn't have stuck around let alone be motivated to turn out issues like I am. With an active community you get more authors who make the community more active, and so on. All around a major win for the game because there are less issue repeats and better issues.

[Tinhampton]

Issue #139 is also logged as being edited by Sirocco and Tactical Grace.

As an aside, here are the numbers of the first issues spotted each year since post-Jolt, including a few extra dates:

• 20th June 2009 (right after SPOILER ALERT thread creation): #237?
• 23rd February 2010: #263
• 21st December(!) 2011: #267
• 9th January 2012: #271
• 12th February 2012: #300
• 26th January 2013: #327
• 6th February 2013 (second and last issue for 2013): #328
• 26th January 2014: #329
• 24th January 2015: #372
• 25th February 2015 (the day after Rift became the default theme): #382
• 25th March 2015 (An International Incident): #387, a chain incorporating Issue #400
• 4th January 2016: #477
• 25th March 2016: #500
• 7th August 2016 (the day I joined NS): #560
• 4th October 2016: #600
• 2nd January 2017: #653
• 10th January 2018: #876
• 2nd January 2019: #1137
• 2nd January 2020: #1303

[Agadin]

#654: Not So Cool Aid?

The Issue

A review of @@NAME@@'s foreign aid commitments in the fourth world recently uncovered that large parts of relief funds have trouble reaching the people truly in need. Excessive bureaucracy in the distribution system and widespread corruption at the receiving end are being flagged as major obstacles.

The Debate

1. “This confirms all of my suspicions,” smugly states Kato Knight, Minister for Modest Living and Curtailed Spending, known for his heart of stone. “These fancy-named programs - like that ‘Rural-Urban Sustainability Engagements’ - do nothing but finance the decadent luxuries of tinpot dictators: private submarine strip-clubs and collections of gilded banana hammocks! Cut all foreign aid funding and put that money back in our pockets!”
   
2. “That’s painting an extremely one-sided, and state-centric, image of reality,” counters Naki Kowalski a hip intern at Maxham Multinational. “If your minister had bothered reading beyond the tabloidy parts of the review, he’d see that some of the programs are actually doing wonders, like the well-known ‘Condensed Renewable Aggregation Production’. You know the common denominator of the successful ones? They’re not run by the government. Instead of mindlessly dropping all your funding, how about turning it all over to us? We’ll completely eliminate the bureaucratic mess you have today, and we’ll publish really tasteful brochures about everything that went well.”
   
3. “You do know what ‘NGO’ stands for, right?” queries your trusted civil servant Tim Guilliman. “It’s ‘Non-Governable Ordeals’, that’s what it is. I’m sure these... people... have pure hearts, but they’re not going to settle; they’ll have lobbyists out day and night pushing for you to increase their share of our budget. Let me and my colleagues at the Department of Bureaucratic Oversight take over our aid commitments. We’ll ensure proper implementation in no time, and with only a slight overhead.”
   
4. “Why do we care about poor people in places we can’t pronounce anyway?” your brother asks frankly, stabbing a virtual beggar in his Panty Theft Auto video game. “Those images of starving children are so passé, and no amount of conscience-cash is going to change a thing. Use that money to prop up some of our domestic industries, like, I don’t know, video games, maybe? It’s just a matter of time before the problem fades away, I mean, like literally!”

Issue by The Prosaic Union of Gnejs
Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Trotterdam]

Author and editor?

It reminds me of this draft in subject, but none of the text matches, so I don't think it's derived from that one.

[Drasnia]

Author and editor?

It reminds me of this draft in subject, but none of the text matches, so I don't think it's derived from that one.

It's at the bottom of the post m8.

[Trotterdam]

No it's not.

...Oh, I see, for some reason the floatright stuff doesn't work properly. Not going to look into it now. Anyway, yeah, different author from the thread I linked.

Which is a bit of a shame, because I miss the "invade 'em" option.

[Trotterdam]

#656 Ransoms Noted

The Issue

Five @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ journalists were captured and taken hostage by violent extremist rebels in unstable southern Maxtopia, and the captors are demanding a million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ per hostage for their safe return.

The Debate

1. "These brave souls need to be brought home safely!" wails @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, father to one of the journalists. "We can't afford that sort of money, but you, the government can! Show some heart, @@LEADER@@, and don't stand in the way of my son's freedom."

2. "If they're looking for money, they should know that we don't have it to give to them," argues former intelligence operative Neil Liamson. "But what we do have is a particular set of skills acquired over many years in government... I'm talking about reactionary counter-terrorist legislation! Let's make paying ransoms a felony, and use the hostage situation to justify an increase in domestic surveillance and security. As for this situation, send in the special forces. We don't negotiate with terrorists."

3. Wild-haired scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@ barrels into your office, panting heavily. "Stop! We CAN have our cake and eat it too! We should make the drop, but insist on cash payment. Then, we liberally irradiate the bank-notes, and watch as the hostage-takers, their associates and their families die from radiation poisoning. That basically solves the problem!"

4. "You know, one of the hostages is the son of one of our closest media allies..." murmurs @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your policy advisors. "Can't we publicly take a firm stance against terrorism, but privately strike a hush-hush deal with the terrorists? We can trade arms to them on the quiet, and they can make sure that they don't hurt anyone important."

Issue by The united states of merca
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

The name in the second option is a reference to Liam Neeson, star actor in the film Taken (the actual character is named Bryan Mills).

#656 Ransoms Noted
1. hostage-takers offer loyalty scheme points for prompt payment
2. the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ any less frightened
3. cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise
4. the nation's arms dealers guarantee discretion and untraceable transactions

[Araneidae]

#655 No Bones About It

The Issue

A group of religious fanatics have broken into the @@CAPITAL@@ Natural History Museum and destroyed a 75 million-year-old gorgosaurus skeleton - the only one of its kind in @@NAME@@.

The Debate

1. “Those maniacs! They blew it all up! Damn them!” wails Dr. Alana Grant, pop-palaeontologist and author of the dubiously-researched Tyrannosaurs of the Jurassic, falling to her knees in horror. “Skeletons like this one provide rare and valuable insight about the history of life on our planet. We must do everything we can to stop these fools from destroying important scientific artifacts! Fortify and defend our museums, by violent means if necessary!”

2. Dr Maurice Zaius, self proclaimed defender of the faith, slams his religion’s holy scrolls down on your desk, smashing your collection of rare ammonites. “These devout believers were doing the work of the Divine! These demon-lizards are fakes, from the depths of damnation! They are fabrications, to promote the ungodly theory that I call EVIL-lution. We should shut down these houses of lies that call themselves museums, and instead create temples that teach only Holy Truth. Sic semper tyrannosaurus!”

3. Mathematician Justin Reagan, wearing a #notallpriests T-shirt has the decency to look embarrassed by the previous speaker. “I’m thinking the underlying problem here is that followers of science and religion are always taught to be adversarial to each other. Couldn’t we address that instead, with government-sponsored Faith Academies reconciling the scientific method with theological debate? Many of the greatest advancements were historically made by faith-led nations. Shall we see if we can join them?”

4. ?

5. “I’m kind of not seeing the big deal here,” says dino-wrangler Ewen Grady, riding an impressively large and flatulent pentaceratops into your presence. “I mean, it’s just a theropod skeleton. We got a few living and breathing theros, including some of this species. Tell you what, boss, I’ll donate the museum some new bones, and in return maybe you can subsidise our apatosaurus ranch?”

Issue by The Republic of ProPublica
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

The fifth option is, obviously, limited to nations that have cloned dinosaurs.

[Flooby Nooby]

657 Put A Fence Around The Commons Floor?

The Issue

Protesting a recent policy decision you made, one of your prominent cabinet ministers, Judas Benedict, today crossed the floor and joined the main opposition party. You and some more loyal ministers are now holding an emergency debate on this.

The Debate

1. “Floor-crossing is against democracy!” roars your Majority Whip, literally taking a birch rod to the backside of a recalcitrant backbencher. “Not only is floor-crossing a betrayal of the the party, it is a betrayal of the voters who elect politicians on the basis of their political party. When politicians leave their party they must resign and seek re-election.”

2. “Number Four, the only reason you’re getting upset is because one of yours came to us,” gloats the Leader of the Opposition, helping himself to a sandwich from your lunchbox. “Sometimes people have a change of heart and begin to see the world in a different light. It is the right of every person and politician to ally themselves with whatever party best suits their conscience. The people give democratic mandate to the individual, who then uses it according to best judgement.”

3. “I have a solution that renders the whole problem of floor-crossing moot,” interjects independent politician Daisy Platypus from the back of the crowded room, hoping you’ll notice her. “Why don’t we simply scrap all political parties and have every politician run as an independent? Think about it! Partisan loyalty is a barrier to true freedom. Let politicians campaign on their individual merits, and represent no-one but themselves.”

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Christian Democrats]

Ugh, I have about two dozen issues to add. I'll probably do this on Thursday night. During the holidays, I was less active online...

[Barbarossistan]

and here's #656

Ransoms noted


The Issue

Five Barbarossistanian journalists were captured and taken hostage by violent extremist rebels in unstable southern Maxtopia, and the captors are demanding a million Reais per hostage for their safe return.
The Debate

“These brave souls need to be brought home safely!” wails Declan Smit, father to one of the journalists. “We can’t afford that sort of money, but you, the government can! Show some heart, Martinus Rufus Magnus, and don’t stand in the way of my son’s freedom.”

“If they’re looking for money, they should know that we don’t have it to give to them,” argues former intelligence operative Neil Liamson. “But what we do have is a particular set of skills acquired over many years in government... I’m talking about reactionary counter-terrorist legislation! Let’s make paying ransoms a felony, and use the hostage situation to justify an increase in domestic surveillance and security. As for this situation, send in the special forces. We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Wild-haired scientist Minerva Kennedy barrels into your office, panting heavily. “Stop! We CAN have our cake and eat it too! We should make the drop, but insist on cash payment. Then, we liberally irradiate the bank-notes, and watch as the hostage-takers, their associates and their families die from radiation poisoning. That basically solves the problem!”

“You know, one of the hostages is the son of one of our closest media allies...” murmurs Genghis Stoker, one of your policy advisors. “Can’t we publicly take a firm stance against terrorism, but privately strike a hush-hush deal with the terrorists? We can trade arms to them on the quiet, and they can make sure that they don’t hurt anyone important.”

Issue by The united states of merca

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Tinhampton]

snip

Already reported by Trotterdam.

[Ransium]

I would normally let someone else report my issue, but given the validity I wanted to make sure this makes it into the issue database in time for the next update:

658 - A Sickening Dilemma

The Issue

After encouraging the anti-vaccination movement, vaccine rates have continued to drop while Rubellan Measles has reached epidemic levels. As thousands more grow ill every day, voices across the nation are pleading with you to do something before the situation becomes completely untenable.

The Debate

1.“I warned you there would be consequences to encouraging this anti-vaccine movement!” reminds your Health Minister, ominously decked out in a full hazmat suit. “With drastic action we might still be able to right this ship: declare martial law, prevent all non-essential personnel from leaving their homes, and proclaim mandatory hospital quarantines for anyone who might be showing symptoms. With emergency funding for healthcare and the military, @@NAME@@ will endure. This may be a bitter pill to swallow, but without it, the results would be absolutely ghastly. And for Violet’s sake, bring back a comprehensive vaccination program!”

2.“That would be horrendously expensive!” cries one of your more brutal body guards. “I have a solution that’s slightly more... direct. I say we take care of the problem before it can spread further. Put me in charge of a ‘Sanitation Squad’ and anyone who starts to show any signs of being sick with Rubellan Measles will be taken care of if you know what I mean.” He gestures at his weapon. “If everyone who is sick is ‘removed’, we will be disease free overnight.”

3.“Domina Hyacinthinum, dona eis requiem,” chants local abbot, Father Mohammed Taffs, while walking into the meeting and whacking himself in the head with a board. “Blessings, Scipio. Rubellan Measles is clearly a plague sent by Violet to deal with the sinners in @@NAME@@. If you tell the people to live their lives according to Violet’s will and order them to engage in daily self-flagellation, then faster than you can say ‘Amen’, Rubellan Measles will be a thing of the past!”

4. “I’ve been thinking,” posits Dixie McKinnon, who happens to be a Rubellan Measles survivor, “maybe this whole thing isn’t as bad as everyone is making it out to be? I mean sure lots of people are dying, but what about survival of the fittest, and all that? The end result from all this will eventually be a more disease resistant populace. Too much medical spending is wasted on keeping those alive that, to be perfectly frank, nature and genetics doesn’t intend to let live.”


Issue by The United Mangrove Archipelago of Ransium

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Trotterdam]

Ransium, you numbered two different options as "2". I assume the first is meant to be "1"?

The fifth option is, obviously, limited to nations that have cloned dinosaurs.

And the fourth - though I haven't seen it yet - is for nations that haven't yet cloned dinosaurs, and allows them to start doing so.

Quite amusing that the issue thought to take this possibility into account

Daisy Platypus

Note that this "Platypus" is from your national animal field, and probably not a "default" random name, though it is almost certainly random.

[Ransium]

Fixed now, thanks for the correction. I had one job!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I would normally let someone else report my issue, but given the validity I wanted to make sure this makes it into the issue database in time for the next update:

Yeah, but now you've denied someone else the joy of discovery, which is always a grand thing for issues with narrow validities. In future, I'd suggest against spoiling the community's hunt, though some may feel more information is always a good thing.

[Serpent Isle]

And the fourth - though I haven't seen it yet - is for nations that haven't yet cloned dinosaurs, and allows them to start doing so.

4. “This raises an interesting point,” muses patriotic soldier Victoria Hoskins. “I hear these dinosaurs were gigantic, killer monsters that ate flesh and struck fear into all who opposed them! Forget the bones of the past - you should be resurrecting those beasts to attack the enemies of @@NAME@@. Imagine a pack of hungry Velociraptors, tearing apart your terrified foes!”

[Ransium]

I would normally let someone else report my issue, but given the validity I wanted to make sure this makes it into the issue database in time for the next update:

Yeah, but now you've denied someone else the joy of discovery, which is always a grand thing for issues with narrow validities. In future, I'd suggest against spoiling the community's hunt, though some may feel more information is always a good thing.

Sorry, I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I was particularly concerned because of recent news, the government embracing anti-vaxx might be on other authors minds leading to unfortunate duplicates. Again I won't do it again.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Hey, there's no wrong or right. I'm sure I've spoiled at least one of my own issues in the past.

[Drasnia]

I've spoiled most of my issues, but that's because I'm a megalomaniac who seeks validation by showing people that I'm actually really great and the best author on the face of the planet. /s

As Candlewhisper said, I don't think there's a right or wrong to it. Some people like me like making sure it is reported and that there are no gaps in the thread while others prefer letting other people find the surprise.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I've spoiled most of my issues, but that's because I'm a megalomaniac who seeks validation by showing people that I'm actually really great and the best author on the face of the planet. /s

Second best, surely?

[Conoistre]

#656 Ransoms Noted

This nation didn't get the third option. No idea about the requirements.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I love setting these little puzzles.

[Special Circumstances]

I'm thinking that it's unavailable to nations with digital currency. Since they have no cash bills.

Am surprised that the editors actually thought of that.

[Noahs Second Country]

I've spoiled most of my issues, but that's because I'm a megalomaniac who seeks validation by showing people that I'm actually really great and the best author on the face of the planet. /s

Second best, surely?

I'm second best. In everything.