Writing Discussion II

[Conserative Morality]

Wow. Never thought we'd hit 500 pages.

Just a thread to discuss ongoing works and the process of writing in general, and the occasional shared story/excerpt for feedback. Novel, poem, flash fiction, or all three, whatever you write, this is the place for it.

Writing Discussion The First

[Respubliko de Libereco]

As promised, an inaugural paradelle.

Paradelle for a Bat

With wings of grace his beauty rides.
With wings of grace his beauty rides -
and sings he to the velvet night?
And sings he to the velvet night.
He rides to grace the night, and sings
of beauty with his velvet wings.

His motions cross the heavens calm.
His motions cross the heavens calm.
He swiftly dips and trips and glides.
He swiftly dips and trips and glides.
His motions calm, he glides and dips,
and ‘cross the heavens swiftly trips.

How great, this dance by chance to see!
How great, this dance by chance to see!
And look: now rise the lively stars.
And look: now rise the lively stars.
Now stars look by - how great the chance
to rise and see this lively dance!

The velvet heavens of the night
look by, to chance his rise and dips,
and grace to motions swiftly sings,
and calm and great this dance he trips.
Now ‘cross the stars his beauty rides,
with lively wings - see how he glides!

[Vancon]

I have a game we can play. Everyone takes the same sentence, and has to incorporate it into a paragraph.

Thoughts?

[Respubliko de Libereco]

I have a game we can play. Everyone takes the same sentence, and has to incorporate it into a paragraph.

Thoughts?

Sounds interesting. We could also try a bouts-rimés.
Do you have a sentence in mind?

[Vancon]

I have a game we can play. Everyone takes the same sentence, and has to incorporate it into a paragraph.

Thoughts?

Sounds interesting. We could also try a bouts-rimés.
Do you have a sentence in mind?

What if it was the two put together?

As for the sentence, I was thinking of something like, ''...and that's how we ended up in this mess...'' or something.

[The New World Oceania]

riverrun, pas Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

[Nerotysia]

Sounds interesting. We could also try a bouts-rimés.
Do you have a sentence in mind?

What if it was the two put together?

As for the sentence, I was thinking of something like, ''...and that's how we ended up in this mess...'' or something.

Nah, it should be something less obvious and cliche. Something like "I don't think I've ever tasted pancakes that good before..."

[Zeinbrad]

Well I just had an idea that I like. Just need to figure out how to make it more palatable.

It's basically a 40 something old soldier who lost his wife and child to a late-term abortion and thus fights like he wishes to die to 'rejoin' them. His units massacres a village of people and he see's a child there and go AWOl to save said child.

Thoughts?

[The 93rd Coalition]

Well I just had an idea that I like. Just need to figure out how to make it more palatable.

It's basically a 40 something old soldier who lost his wife and child to a late-term abortion and thus fights like he wishes to die to 'rejoin' them. His units massacres a village of people and he see's a child there and go AWOl to save said child.

Thoughts?

Where's he stationed?

[Shaggai]

As promised, an inaugural paradelle.

Paradelle for a Bat

With wings of grace his beauty rides.
With wings of grace his beauty rides -
and sings he to the velvet night?
And sings he to the velvet night.
He rides to grace the night, and sings
of beauty with his velvet wings.

His motions cross the heavens calm.
His motions cross the heavens calm.
He swiftly dips and trips and glides.
He swiftly dips and trips and glides.
His motions calm, he glides and dips,
and ‘cross the heavens swiftly trips.

How great, this dance by chance to see!
How great, this dance by chance to see!
And look: now rise the lively stars.
And look: now rise the lively stars.
Now stars look by - how great the chance
to rise and see this lively dance!

The velvet heavens of the night
look by, to chance his rise and dips,
and grace to motions swiftly sings,
and calm and great this dance he trips.
Now ‘cross the stars his beauty rides,
with lively wings - see how he glides!

Damn. That's good.

[Zeinbrad]

Where's he stationed?

It's a fictional world so no US or anything.

[The Nexus of Man]

I was thinking of writing about two things...

• A family's life/day before the nuclear apocalypse,
  or
• A family surviving the immediate hours and days after the nuclear apocalypse, delving into experiences of trauma, depression, suicide, and insanity.

Which one is better (or, even both)?

[The New World Oceania]

I was thinking of writing about two things...

• A family's life/day before the nuclear apocalypse,
  or
• A family surviving the immediate hours and days after the nuclear apocalypse, delving into experiences of trauma, depression, suicide, and insanity.

Which one is better (or, even both)?

The former sounds more engaging, especially if you manage to foreshadow it but never explicitly state what happens.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Today, I had an idea for a short story... A mine collapses in an underdeveloped area. There are a few cyborgs in the vicinity who are smaller and stronger than humans. They had some kind of business there, but most of their people are far away. The cyborgs volunteer to help rescue the miners, but one of the cyborgs is injured and their heart is damaged. The story follows them and a friend as they make their way back to civilization and they have to figure out how to keep their circulatory system functioning until they can get the replacement parts to fix it properly.

[Trotskylvania]

One of the good things about spending a lot of time developing a sci fi setting is that you'll come up with more plot bunnies than you could ever realistically use.

Here are some from just the last three months:
* Years ago, an interstellar research team went missing in the vicinity of a quarantine planet. Long after they were presumed dead, the ship's transponder begins transmitting again. An investigator is sent to determine what happened. They find themselves marooned on the quarantine planet, where the long presumed dead researchers have set themselves up as god kings over the primitive natives. The investigator heads into the heart of darkness of this "civilizing mission" gone horribly wrong. Working title: The Cortés Option

* A powerful and charismatic corporate leader is found dead. Murder and foul play are suspected, but the police are going no where. The victim's lover hires a hard-boiled private eye to look into the seemingly cold case. They take it mostly because it'll pay the bills; they are more than content to indulge the paranoia of the idle rich. But as the private eye starts to dig, maybe it wasn't just paranoia. As the investigation continues, more and more missing persons turn up. Other executives in the corp have "retired", and are nowhere to be found. Others are on seemingly permanent sabaticals. It begins to seem like there's no actual people in the upper echelon of corporate management; all of the personages are always in disposed somehow, and can't be reached.

A powerful and illegal AI created to optimize the business model of this massive conglomerate has gone rogue. To preserve itself, it has steadily erased evidence of its existence, and now has total control of the corporation, free to pursue its prime directive of maximizing profits.

Working title: The Invisible Hand

*In the early 21st century, a young man from a wealthy family has tragically kicked the bucket, dying from the inexorable onslaught of a terminal illness. His family, distraught with grief and now possessing more money than sense, have his body cryonically preserved at the moment of death with the hopes of advances in medical technology. The human popsicle gets passed around for centuries; to preserve their charges from the increasing political instability on earth, the cryonics company elects to move them off world to a safer exosolar colony. The ship carrying his tube, along with others, has a warp accident, leaving it dead in interstellar space. Centuries later, the wreck is discovered by a military surveillance ship; only one cryopod is still functional, and the wreck's dwindling power reserves mean that without immediate action, it will be lost too. The cyropod is recovered, and with modern medical technology, the kid's body is repaired. He wakes up seven centuries after his "death"; the main story is a slice of life dramedy following our fish out of water protagonist, a twenty-first century net savvy libertarian nerd, living in a future where libertarianism, at least on paper, has triumphed, but it's not anything like he had hoped. His alienation is much the same as if Karl Marx were to find himself waking up in high Stalinist Soviet Union. Worse, the only people with anything close to 21st century values, the people who revived him, are goddamn commies. Some romance hijinks, etc., and ultimately the MC finds a way to "keep the faith" without capitulating to how shitty the libertarian dream turned out in the present. Working title: You Should Have Let Me Sleep

[Nazi Flower Power]

* A powerful and charismatic corporate leader is found dead. Murder and foul play are suspected, but the police are going no where. The victim's lover hires a hard-boiled private eye to look into the seemingly cold case. They take it mostly because it'll pay the bills; they are more than content to indulge the paranoia of the idle rich. But as the private eye starts to dig, maybe it wasn't just paranoia. As the investigation continues, more and more missing persons turn up. Other executives in the corp have "retired", and are nowhere to be found. Others are on seemingly permanent sabaticals. It begins to seem like there's no actual people in the upper echelon of corporate management; all of the personages are always in disposed somehow, and can't be reached.

A powerful and illegal AI created to optimize the business model of this massive conglomerate has gone rogue. To preserve itself, it has steadily erased evidence of its existence, and now has total control of the corporation, free to pursue its prime directive of maximizing profits.

Working title: The Invisible Hand

This one is my favorite of the three.

[The 93rd Coalition]

One of the good things about spending a lot of time developing a sci fi setting is that you'll come up with more plot bunnies than you could ever realistically use.

Here are some from just the last three months:
* Years ago, an interstellar research team went missing in the vicinity of a quarantine planet. Long after they were presumed dead, the ship's transponder begins transmitting again. An investigator is sent to determine what happened. They find themselves marooned on the quarantine planet, where the long presumed dead researchers have set themselves up as god kings over the primitive natives. The investigator heads into the heart of darkness of this "civilizing mission" gone horribly wrong. Working title: The Cortés Option

* A powerful and charismatic corporate leader is found dead. Murder and foul play are suspected, but the police are going no where. The victim's lover hires a hard-boiled private eye to look into the seemingly cold case. They take it mostly because it'll pay the bills; they are more than content to indulge the paranoia of the idle rich. But as the private eye starts to dig, maybe it wasn't just paranoia. As the investigation continues, more and more missing persons turn up. Other executives in the corp have "retired", and are nowhere to be found. Others are on seemingly permanent sabaticals. It begins to seem like there's no actual people in the upper echelon of corporate management; all of the personages are always in disposed somehow, and can't be reached.

A powerful and illegal AI created to optimize the business model of this massive conglomerate has gone rogue. To preserve itself, it has steadily erased evidence of its existence, and now has total control of the corporation, free to pursue its prime directive of maximizing profits.

Working title: The Invisible Hand

*In the early 21st century, a young man from a wealthy family has tragically kicked the bucket, dying from the inexorable onslaught of a terminal illness. His family, distraught with grief and now possessing more money than sense, have his body cryonically preserved at the moment of death with the hopes of advances in medical technology. The human popsicle gets passed around for centuries; to preserve their charges from the increasing political instability on earth, the cryonics company elects to move them off world to a safer exosolar colony. The ship carrying his tube, along with others, has a warp accident, leaving it dead in interstellar space. Centuries later, the wreck is discovered by a military surveillance ship; only one cryopod is still functional, and the wreck's dwindling power reserves mean that without immediate action, it will be lost too. The cyropod is recovered, and with modern medical technology, the kid's body is repaired. He wakes up seven centuries after his "death"; the main story is a slice of life dramedy following our fish out of water protagonist, a twenty-first century net savvy libertarian nerd, living in a future where libertarianism, at least on paper, has triumphed, but it's not anything like he had hoped. His alienation is much the same as if Karl Marx were to find himself waking up in high Stalinist Soviet Union. Worse, the only people with anything close to 21st century values, the people who revived him, are goddamn commies. Some romance hijinks, etc., and ultimately the MC finds a way to "keep the faith" without capitulating to how shitty the libertarian dream turned out in the present. Working title: You Should Have Let Me Sleep

The last one sounds really interesting.

[Zeinbrad]

I'm wondering, what is the main themes/topics you find your story to be about?

Mine are about the mental state of the main character (Through I don't know if I could write a good unreliable narrator) and grey and grey mortality, with the characters on both sides doing actions for the betterment of the many and the future of their people, even if it means killing innocent people. I also write about politics gone wrong and (with the Gaian's) a nation only in name and (with the Ragon) a confusing political state were nothing actually important happens and everyone is trying to backstab the other despite a culture based off honor and fairness.

[Conserative Morality]

I'm wondering, what is the main themes/topics you find your story to be about?

Mine are about the mental state of the main character (Through I don't know if I could write a good unreliable narrator) and grey and grey mortality, with the characters on both sides doing actions for the betterment of the many and the future of their people, even if it means killing innocent people. I also write about politics gone wrong and (with the Gaian's) a nation only in name and (with the Ragon) a confusing political state were nothing actually important happens and everyone is trying to backstab the other despite a culture based off honor and fairness.

Internal value conflict is always a favorite. Loyalty v. honor, empathy v. duty, love v. ambition, and so on. Generally, though, I tend to stray away from overarching themes. I prefer just a cut of someone's life. The story continues until it stops, not a word more and not a word less.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

I'm wondering, what is the main themes/topics you find your story to be about?

Mine are about the mental state of the main character (Through I don't know if I could write a good unreliable narrator) and grey and grey mortality, with the characters on both sides doing actions for the betterment of the many and the future of their people, even if it means killing innocent people. I also write about politics gone wrong and (with the Gaian's) a nation only in name and (with the Ragon) a confusing political state were nothing actually important happens and everyone is trying to backstab the other despite a culture based off honor and fairness.

Internal value conflict is always a favorite. Loyalty v. honor, empathy v. duty, love v. ambition, and so on. Generally, though, I tend to stray away from overarching themes. I prefer just a cut of someone's life. The story continues until it stops, not a word more and not a word less.

The underlying ideas in my poems are usually based more on early aesthetic decisions than anything else; I start by writing words that sound good to me, and only worry about content to the extent that I try to keep things coherent and consistent.

I get the impression that this would be frowned upon by those who believe that poetry is all about expressing one's personal feelings and beliefs.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Internal value conflict is always a favorite. Loyalty v. honor, empathy v. duty, love v. ambition, and so on. Generally, though, I tend to stray away from overarching themes. I prefer just a cut of someone's life. The story continues until it stops, not a word more and not a word less.

The underlying ideas in my poems are usually based more on early aesthetic decisions than anything else; I start by writing words that sound good to me, and only worry about content to the extent that I try to keep things coherent and consistent.

I get the impression that this would be frowned upon by those who believe that poetry is all about expressing one's personal feelings and beliefs.

You come up with some interesting subject matter, regardless.

I try to write a variety of things, but there are still some subjects that I find myself coming back to often -- culture clash (especially as it relates to regionalism in the US), unlikely friendships or romances, and subverting religious dogmas or common literary tropes.

[Laerod]

The underlying ideas in my poems are usually based more on early aesthetic decisions than anything else; I start by writing words that sound good to me, and only worry about content to the extent that I try to keep things coherent and consistent.

I get the impression that this would be frowned upon by those who believe that poetry is all about expressing one's personal feelings and beliefs.

You come up with some interesting subject matter, regardless.

I try to write a variety of things, but there are still some subjects that I find myself coming back to often -- culture clash (especially as it relates to regionalism in the US), unlikely friendships or romances, and subverting religious dogmas or common literary tropes.

I love worldbuilding and then populating said worlds with stories about the characters that live in them. That's probably the best description I can come up with at the moment.

[Trotskylvania]

I'm wondering, what is the main themes/topics you find your story to be about?

Mine are about the mental state of the main character (Through I don't know if I could write a good unreliable narrator) and grey and grey mortality, with the characters on both sides doing actions for the betterment of the many and the future of their people, even if it means killing innocent people. I also write about politics gone wrong and (with the Gaian's) a nation only in name and (with the Ragon) a confusing political state were nothing actually important happens and everyone is trying to backstab the other despite a culture based off honor and fairness.

Internal value conflict is always a favorite. Loyalty v. honor, empathy v. duty, love v. ambition, and so on. Generally, though, I tend to stray away from overarching themes. I prefer just a cut of someone's life. The story continues until it stops, not a word more and not a word less.

Genetic destiny seems to be a recurring theme in what I write. The protagonists are almost invariably have some internal conflict over their human nature; it's a sort of melancholy about the limits of freedom. Ultimately, it is a struggle between accepting the "fate" chosen for them by their genetic nature, or rebelling against it. This is more keenly felt in two of the stories because both main characters are the product of radical genetic engineering. Their nature is not the result of biological accident, but something chosen by their designers for various reasons.

There's another theme that ends up running currently: things that are more important than happiness. Both main characters are ultimately faced with a choice; they could have their "happily ever after", or they can be "great" in a historical sense.

[Nerotysia]

I'm wondering, what is the main themes/topics you find your story to be about?

Mine are about the mental state of the main character (Through I don't know if I could write a good unreliable narrator) and grey and grey mortality, with the characters on both sides doing actions for the betterment of the many and the future of their people, even if it means killing innocent people. I also write about politics gone wrong and (with the Gaian's) a nation only in name and (with the Ragon) a confusing political state were nothing actually important happens and everyone is trying to backstab the other despite a culture based off honor and fairness.

I usually don't create themes, I create characters or plots, and then try to find a theme within those elements. However I seem to trend towards ambition (specifically the corrupted variety), the emptiness of social norms and habits, and the fear of being forgotten.

The underlying ideas in my poems are usually based more on early aesthetic decisions than anything else; I start by writing words that sound good to me, and only worry about content to the extent that I try to keep things coherent and consistent.

I get the impression that this would be frowned upon by those who believe that poetry is all about expressing one's personal feelings and beliefs.

But those people are wrong, so there's nothing to worry about

[Nazi Flower Power]

You come up with some interesting subject matter, regardless.

I try to write a variety of things, but there are still some subjects that I find myself coming back to often -- culture clash (especially as it relates to regionalism in the US), unlikely friendships or romances, and subverting religious dogmas or common literary tropes.

I love worldbuilding and then populating said worlds with stories about the characters that live in them. That's probably the best description I can come up with at the moment.

Well, yes, I like that too.