World Cup 69 RP Thread

by **Sargossa** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 6:43 am

To: HIH Issac
c/o: The Imperial Club

Issac, my old fruit. Your recent missive got me a-pondering. In itself a rare occurrence as, as I am sure you can appreciate, like most chaps I don’t tend to ponder unless enjoying an evening perambulate or mid-morning bowel movement. But this question as to the very essence of chap-ish-ness is quite the cog turner. I have endeavored to capture that essence of chap-ish-ness in that most chap-iest of mediums, a poem (enclosed herewith). One that I confidently predict will be endlessly trotted out at lawn tennis events for years and years and years to come. I do hope you find it a pleasant distraction for a moment or two. I myself have already lost interest.

Yours,

Señor Ignacio Montés
Resident Wag & Principal Fourth Wall Breaker
Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club & Bistro, Sargossa Branch

by **HopNation** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:02 am

HopNation Hops
National Fußball Team News
Game Eleven
World Cup 69 – the Cup for Chaps

Group 1
Plc Nation	Pts  +/-
1   NSI		28    +13
2   Mizuyuki	22    +10
3   Thatius	21    +6
4   HopNation	20    +13
5   Jeckland	14    -2
6   Evraim	10    -5
7   Jecatria	7     -17
8   Tryienne	3     -18

Matches
MD1:  vs NSI
MD2:  @ Evraim
MD3:  vs Jeckland
MD4:  @ Jecatria
MD5:  vs Mizuyuki
MD6:  @ Thatius
MD7:  vs Tryienne
Break (30^th + 31^st)
MD8:  @ NSI
MD9:  vs Evraim
MD10: @ Jeckland
MD11: vs Jecatria
MD12: @ Mizuyuki
MD13: vs Thatius
MD14: @ Tryienne
Win | Draw | Loss

Well folks I’m happy to be back writing again. I had a minor, well okay a major set back near the end of last week. I was involved in a car accident which left me in the hospital for a couple days. I’m doing okay now, but am using a speak to text program as both arms are currently in casts and I am in a wheel chair. I’m hoping to be up and walking in about a week but I fear that my arms will be detained for a considerable amount of time.

Now for the accident, it was completely the other guys fault and he has been put in jail until his trial with no chance at bail. Have you heard of texting and driving? I’m sure you have as it seems to be an issue where ever we are, where ever we travel to countries seem to be cracking down on it. But have you heard about Gaming and Driving? Because I had not, at least not until this idiot ran a red light and t-boned me as I was entering the intersection. Gaming and Driving, are you serious…. I’m not sure about the rest of you lot that read our fine paper but here in HopNation texting and driving as well as any other form of distracted driving is punishable by three years in prison with no questions asked if your caught. Apparently if you’re from DerDrache you can do what ever it is you want when behind the wheel, although I’m not sure why the guy was behind the wheel anyway considering he is of dragon origin and I’ve been told he can fly. Der Drache for those outside readers is one of our Hefemalt Nations and it shares a northern boarder with HopNation. I’m not even sure why he was in HopNation as the dragon kind usually doesn’t cross into our boarders. As for the gaming and driving it was told to me that he had some kind of eyewear on that allowed him to see his game in one eye while he could see his surroundings in the other. This is some technology one of our internet companies came up with. They say it is never intended to be worn during driving but you can use it for walking and tourism as it will interact with your surroundings to show you new and exciting things or pull up data for a restaurant your interested in going to. They call it optiglass, but anyway enough bout the product more on this accident and the idiot that smashed by car. Let me tell you I’m glad I don’t remember anything from the crash as right now I’m still in serious pain, thank goodness for Hempphine.

From the traffic camera footage you can clearly see the red light as this dip wad entered the intersection, you could also see him cheering, pumping his fists as well as the keyboard in his lap. You can then see on the moment of impact he flew out of the sunroof of his car, so he was unhurt. But then you see the car smash into me and my brand new Brewstiner Bentleyburg, now now don’t ask how I afforded it on my writers wages, just you never mind about that. The impact sent the two cars through the intersection and into the far guardrail and light post. The footage actually shows this DerDrachen hover over the two cars for a second or two then come down and he gets his keyboard out of his car and sits on the curb to continue playing before the authorities showed up. He didn’t even check to see if I was okay. When the police did arrive they noted that he was playing some kind of Regions of Warzone a very popular MMORPP. Then I was told that they had to cut me out of the car as the doors were completely fused and unable to be opened at all. I spent twelve hours in surgery in order to save my arms as they were broken in six places each. They also had to put by left foot back in place as it had been broken and twisted backwards. They say all the injuries have been repaired and I should be fine once everything heals. There was no major internal bleeding, no head damage thanks to the Brewstiner Bentleyburg’s head protection system, and no real damage to my midsection also thanks to the Bentlyburg’s protection system. That same protections system that kept me alive and kept my head and torso safe is what broke my arms so they will surely be hearing from my layer, well at least I’m alive.

I wish I had more for you, especially in regards to the Hops as they have been playing very well. They are on a three game win streak too. Though they are up against Mizuyuki next and at the Nova’s home field too. One can hope they will win but the odds are stacked against us in this one.

Well until next time as I need to sleep for a bit now. Brew On! Brew Well Hoptonians!

Ringwald Griffensmith
HopNation Sports Writer

by **Barunia** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:56 am

BaruniainSports.com.bu
The Number One website for Barunian Sports Fans

Suns legend remembered in tribute to ferry victims
Article by Kitty Smith, football correspondent KittyS@baruniainsports.com.bu

Barunia's footballing community was in mourning on friday, as it was confirmed that former Suns goalkeeper Sam Garcia was among the dead in last week's horrific ferry crash. Garcia was part of the inaugural Suns squad, and served for many years as a reserve goalkeeper. Born in Northport-San Baptiste, Garcia signed on with the San Baptiste Sea Lions and never left, becoming a familiar face in between goals as their number one goalkeeper for many years. Garcia retired from football four years ago. Garcia is survived by his wife Sofia and their two children, Esperanza, aged 6, and Tomas, 4.

It was a solemn occasion for Barunia's Suns as they took to the field against Vunishia, appropriately at Garcia's home ground of Northport. Barunia's players wore black armbands in honour of those who died, and the 36,000 strong crowd shared a silent minute of mutual remembrance, while the national flag was hung at half mast. The minute of silence ended with the release of 183 balloons, one for each of the victims. Outside the stadium, distraught fans lay flowers along the fence.

by **Timbermunich** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:02 am

The following day, once everyone rose from the great celebration that Vegetalista held in honor of the two Greats and their find, Nat, Great Battle, and Great One-Arm Willy once again sat down to talk about the plan. This time Nat started right in on questioning the two men, although he did start by asking if either of them would like some tea. He asked questions relating to the moving of TimberOak Grove and how it would affect any trade routes and supply chains. He also asked who else would enter the Heart of the Grove considering the stories of people entering and not coming out.

Great Battle tried to answer these questions from Nat the best he could. As for trade routes and supply chains, those would be uninterrupted and the distance would only increase a small amount. The people of TimberOak Grove are very willing to move the entire village and they will try not to disrupt any current plans or routes during the moving process. As for the people that would enter the Heart of the Grove, Great Battle did not yet know those details. He told Nat that it would take some time to discover what all this truly meant and was the reason they were starting by moving their village closer. The two do not want to bring harm to any person and that until they know for sure what effects the Heart of the Grove has on people the two Greats would be the only ones to enter.

Nat followed up with a couple more questions and was satisfied with the two’s honest answers. He also felt that they had the right idea in taking things slow. He did not wholly agree that moving TimberOak Grove was the right idea, but he said it was their village to run and could do as they wised with moving it. Nat also mentioned some ideas that he had come up with before the celebration and during the time after it. These included an issuance of help where they TimberOak Grove would send out a request to the other villages to come and help them move. As he felt the faster the village was moved to it’s new location the faster things would get back to normal with regards to the trade and supply routes. He also said he wished to come with the two greats on the rest of their journey to the other villages.

Great Battle and Great One-Arm Willy welcomed Nats’ suggestions and accepted his request to join them on the rest of their trip. After this the three started to prepare for their journey to Cottontimber to see Elder Scharuka. During preparations to leave the villagers of Vegetalista did like the villagers of TimberOak Grove and prepared a car for the three, well they restocked the original cart and fed the horses as well as obtaining a horse for Nat. The three men organized their route details and before nightfall headed south out of Vegetalist. They decided not to wait until morning because it would be a three day trip to Cottontimber and they wanted to get there as soon as they could. Their plan was to stop after one full day’s worth of travel, which should put them right on the edge of the mountain range. They would spend one night there and then head through the Populuspen pass and stop near the top of the first mountain ridge before finally arriving in Cottontimber on the third day.

What will Scharuka think when the three (two greats and Nat) show up? Will she be on board with their plan or will she have more questions for the two Greats? We will find out soon…

Hardwood’s Matches
MD1: vs Sargossa (0-1)
MD2: @ Yids (3-2)
MD3: vs United Comm. of Ayrshire (2-0)
MD4: @ Electrum (2-3)
MD5: vs Lymantatia (1-1)
MD6: @ Mangolana (0-4)
MD7: vs Farfadillis
Day of Rest
MD8: @ Sargossa (2-3)
MD9: vs Yids (4-0)
MD10: @ United Comm. of Ayrshire (1-0)
MD11: vs Electrum (0-1)
MD12: @ Lymantatia
MD13: vs Mangolana
MD14: @ Farfadillis
Win | Draw | Loss

 Group 2 Table  
  - Team			Pts 
2 – Farfadillis			25
1 – Sargossa	 		25
3 – Lymantatia			22
4 – Electrum			16
5 – Timbermunich	  	16
6 – Mangolana			14
7 – Yids			 7
8 – United Comm. of Ayrshire     1
Eliminated|Advanced

  Match 12 
Lymantatia Lineup	     | Timbermunich Lineup 
GK: Jacques DeLamielleure    |GK  Great Hatchet Hank	01
D: Edward Lowe		     |RB  Great Norman		04
D: Jacques Volante	     |CB  Great Battle		05*
D: Jacques Martineau	     |CB  Great Battle Axe	03
D: Nicholas Baker	     |LB  Great Tomahawk Tommy	06
M: Nicholas Ivanov	     |RM  Great Dead-Eye Darrin	07
M: Charles Garcia 	     |LM  Great Dirty Doug	08
M: Jacques Villiers	     |RW  Great Dagger Dan	09
M: Christianus DeLamielleure |CM  Great Wicked Warren	10
F: Jacques Bressler	     |CF  Great One-Arm Willy	21
F: Sylvius Johnson	     |LW  Great Kyle Slater	17

by **Furellum** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:25 am

Altsby, Furellum
Fyodor Iosef smelt a rat. Specifically, a rat that looked and talked like Sorin's brother, Frederik. Fyodor wasn't sure what was wrong with Frederik, but he knew something was. It was an instinct he had. After over ten years as a cop, Fyodor had learnt to trust that instinct.

So Fyodor watched Frederik. He noted the other's shifting gaze, the inquisitive stare. He noted the words he spoke, listened to the many questions he asked others. It was almost as if he was examining people, trying to find out something. About Sorin? But none of the questions seemed to be about his brother. Frederik talked about football, about the player he was talking to, their history and background. He asked about their thoughts on the political crisis, and the violence in the streets. Not once did Frederik mention his brother. He just looked and asked questions, and Fyodor watched and listened.

Other Altsby, Furellum
"I swear, to uphold the rule of law and the faith of the people, to perform my duties diligently and with honour, and to be a faithful servant of all." Yuri lowered his right paw as he finished the words of the oath, and shook Cardinal Jedrzejczyk's hand. "Congratulations, Master Kedzierski" said the Cardinal. Yuri grinned. The cardinal was a fool, who shook his hand as he accepted his fate calmly. Yuri had a plan, a plan that involved the cardinal's only as obstacle's to be overcome. Or, as in this case, to further his own course without them realising it.

Yuri was now part of the Collegium Munda, the body of Furellum's parliament open to all. The upper house of the Collegium Arcana was a closed club of old rich boys. Fair enough, thought Yuri. They could wait. By the time they looked out from their ivory towers to notice him, he would have torn away their foundations. Soon, he would be unstoppable.

by **Free Republics** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:29 am

Somewhere in Czarch

It had been another tough match for the Republican National Team. Against Czarch, a team that was near the bottom of the group, the #8 ranked team in the KPB rankings struggled initially. Although Kyle Bolton scored the first goal, defensive mistakes by the visitors had allowed Czarch to, unexpectedly, take a 3 goals to 1 advantage into the half. In the locker room, at the half, Rule Theriault was furious at his team, which was, once again, underperforming on the road. A profanity-laced tirade followed. Those unfamiliar with Theriault's methods would have assumed that his team would collapse in the second half and get utterly embarrassed by some unimpressive team straight out of the BoF. They would be mistaken.

Instead of a second half meltdown, the Republican National Team came out with a vengeance in the second half. Faredin Pozenel would be the hero on this day. After scoring 2 goals before the hour mark to equalize, Pozenel put his team up in the 73rd minute, thanks to an assist by Ayub Sandstrom. While the Republicans continued to push forward, looking for more goals, the match would conclude with the Free Republics winning by an unimpressive 4 goals to 3 margin against much weaker opposition.

Rule Theriault remained convinced that nothing was wrong with his team and the players seemed as confident as ever. However, the Republican media had begun to question the "unimpressive" performances of the National Team in qualifying and their seeming inability to dominate "inferior" opposition. Rule didn't see anything to worry about. His team was atop the group. They had a 4 point lead on San Jose Guayabal. They had a home match coming up against Sarian, one that he was confident they would win handily. If they did so, their only remaining opposition would be Miley World and winless Ekoz. Sure, they had 2 losses in qualifying and yes, they did have to win ugly on a few occasions, but they still appeared to be well on their way to their first World Cup qualification and an opportunity to travel to either Apox or The Holy Empire and silence the critics who claimed that their performance a year prior had been a fluke. Another win against Sarian, at the IslandDome, would virtually guarantee first place in the group for the FFR and, even if they ended up in the playoffs, the KPB-based seeding system would likely guarantee them one of the surprise second place teams, somebody whom they could probably beat easily. But, to take that, likely insurmountable, advantage over Sarian and pay them back for their actions 2 years prior, they had to beat them, again.

News Magazine

Leaders of Major Parties Announce Formation of United Republica
by: Alexander Ehrlichmann

Less than 12 hours after Senator Samuel Izmailov (NatGre-Yoriac) was released from the hospital after making a full recovery, he called a surprise press conference in Republica. Virtually every reporter, including yours truly, who covers Federation-level politics was in the Great Ballroom at the Patriot Hotel in Republica for this press conference. I'm sure I speak for everybody when I say that what we saw and heard at this press conference was absolutely shocking to me.

Samuel Izmailov wasn't always the near-universally popular figure that he is nowadays. In fact, it wasn't all that long ago that he was considered polarizing. Other politicians treated him and the National Greatness Party as undesirables, whom they should not associate with. Even I was once a critic of this Great Man, who will surely be our next Consul. However, those days now seem like an eternity ago.

Here I was, at the most luxurious hotel in Republica, in its most exquisite ballroom, to listen to a press briefing from the likely next Leader of the Free Multiverse. I felt chills down my spine and tingles in my legs. Here, finally, was the man who will provide the kind of leadership that our Federation needs, in these dark times when the unspeakable evil that is feminism seeks to conquer our multiverse.

However, the man who stepped up to the podium first was not Samuel Izmailov. He was not even a member of the NatGre Party. He was Senator Emeritus Hilarion Vasin, former Consul of the Free Republics and current Vice President of the World Bowl Assembly. Senator Emeritus Vasin spoke elegantly on the importance of unity, in a time of crisis. The following speaker was Younes Danielsson, who spoke of the need to come together in a trans-partisan manner, for the greater good of the Federation. Prominent speaker after speaker expounded on these themes, as a live television audience watched on 24/7 news network RSFBC.

Then, Izmailov finally took the stage to announce the formation of the United Republica Coalition. As Senator Izmailov explained, United Republica is a coalition of coalitions, including the Moderates, Liberals, Conservatives, Radicals, Christian Coalition, NatGres and the Responsible Progress Party under a single umbrella, along with a handful of minor parties that share the vision of a United Republica. With all of the major parties in United Republica, the only remaining opposition to Senator Izmailov's near-certain victory in the upcoming election will come from the Holy Party, Progressive Party, Green Party and Communist Party FFR, none of which are considered a mainstream organization. A quick News Magazine poll, which has a relatively high 7 percent margin of error with 90 percent confidence, has Izmailov polling at 74 percent of the vote on the first ballot, with Reino Kulseth of the Holy Party coming in second with 13 percent of the vote, a surprisingly high total of the vote for the Holy Party. That's likely an over-estimate of their support, but that kind of thing can happen with such speedy methods of polling.

Izmailov spoke at length about the vision for United Republica. He told the assembled press that, "United Republica is a vision that we share, a vision of a brighter future for our Federation. A United Republica is a Republica that is strong and decisively stands up to any threats that we may face. A United Republica is a Republica with Patriotic leadership whose concern is the good of the nation, rather than ideology. United Republica is not a conventional political party. We aren't running to advance any political agenda of any kind. We are running to provide competent government to a nation in chaos. We are running to provide an end to the partisan rancor that we have seen in recent years and to bring about a new age of friendship and harmony in our Federation's capitol. When Republica is United, our enemies will cower in terror and all will respect us. The first signs of this could be seen in the recent riots, when our heroic Street Legion, commonly called Blue-Shirts, came to the rescue of riot victims. Even though feminism is a repulsive ideology of hate that should not be extended free speech protections, it is still inappropriate to gang-rape feminists on the streets. While they deserve to be punished for their crimes against humanity, their punishment should be conducted within the law because extrajudicial vigilante justice only leads to the breakdown of law and order. I'm all for finding some kind of Ultimate Solution to the feminist problem, but let's do so within the letter of the law, not outside of it." I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment.

In other news, the Progressives have finally settled on a candidate for Consul, after a rather disastrous brokered Convention that required six hundred and sixty six ballots to come to a result. Alannah Kibble, formerly a Professor of Women's Studies and Women's History at Barteaux University, was chosen as the Progressive candidate. Miss Kibble is an avowed lesbian who has previously written that "heterosexual sex is always rape" because "heterosexual sex is inherently an act by which man asserts dominion over woman." To put it mildly, that is the absolute worst choice that they could possibly have chosen. The core of Miss Kibble's execrable campaign are her allegations that she was gang-raped by a dozen Blue-Shirts after she confronted them, as they were fire-bombing the Women's Center at Barteaux University. Whether or not any of that is true (and knowing the feminist tendency to lie about literally everything, I doubt it), I'm not going to shed any tears over the plight of a man-hating radical lesbian, nor do I expect anybody else to do so. The woman should be grateful that she wasn't put behind bars for her hateful ideology's complicity in the multiple acts of terror committed in our sports stadiums over the past few years. She is the worst kind of scum and her hateful ideology is certainly not welcome in the Home of the Free.

Alexander Ehrlichmann is a political campaign correspondent for News Magazine. As long as he can remember, Alexander has been fascinated by the news. As a boy, he insisted that his parents subscribe to News Magazine because he wanted to know what was happening in the world. In high school, Alexander started his own school newspaper, independent of his high school, which reported on serious issues that the school's approved newspaper would not touch. Attending the University of Amoltopia, Baseton campus, Alexander majored in journalism and graduated at the top of his class. He was hired by News Magazine straight out of college a few years ago to report on the news in his home Republic of Amolotopia. After impressing the editor, he was assigned to cover the Consul election campaign that resulted in the election of Venicio Piazza as Consul. Now, he is News Magazine's lead correspondent in Republica, when there is no election campaign to cover.

by **The United Kingdoms of Zackalantis** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:58 am

UKZ 1- 0 MONKEYKIND

Keith was crouched on the field. 10 minutes left in the match. The score was 0-0. They could not afford a tie. He stared down at the field fidgeting and ripping grass out of the field. He was tired. He looked up and saw the opposition goal post. Sweat collected in his eyebrows and dripped of his nose onto the grass. His muscles were tired and he looked around him. He saw his team mates haunched over their hands on their knees.
But he stood up looked at his tired team pointed to the sky with his right hand and moved it down pointing it to the opposition goal. He shouted CHARGE!!
They ran. Shubhankar and Keith in the front line of the zach attack. Abigail's maniacal screams could be heard.
Keith took the ball passed to Malaika. Their parternship brought the ball into attacking range of the monkeykind fort.
Abigail was too excited so she ran and pounced on Keith. Malaika was now alone, no one in sight to pass the ball to.
She stood there and the entire force of monkeykind was soon descending upon her she kicked the ball. It shot in the air like a canon ball but completely off mark. Shubhankar ran to intercept the ball. He jumped and his buttocks made contact. He whipped his hip and the ball met the goal. UKZ scored.
No one could believe what happened. But that made the celebration even more ecstatic.
The Buzzer Blew. The match was over. The UKZ was victorious. Hopes were still alive.

by **Buyan** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:14 am

Accepting

Of course I’m happy for the team. We win, that is all that is important, not my personal role. If the manager decides I’m on the bench for now, then that is what it is and I accept that.

What else could he say when some press lad pressed a mic underneath his nose? Harald Naess shrugged and tried to focus on different things. As the fandom for Reinhard Shale was taking the nation by speed, there was little he could say. And the results showed that Shale had mined the right grove, as the clear victory in United Eastedge had surprisingly enough sparked new hopes for the future. The narrow diamond, in which Sverre Devold seemed to have found a whole new spirit, was suddenly considered the tactical innovation of the year and the pundits treated Shale as a wizard, a mastermind in the university of football. It spoke for the man that he didn’t act like it, a tad unfortunate for Naess.

It would have been easy if he had a projection for his frustrations, someone to vent about during late car rides with his wife or while they were doing the dishes. But only his tan showed that the word ‘vanity’ meant something to Reinhard Shale as he was honest and straightforward to both starting players and benchers. Any sign of guys at once acting above their value was nipped in the bud while encouraging Sverre to pick up his responsibilities – but in a positive way.

And with that way of affairs, Harald Naess had to endure his annoyances in silence, attempting to find a way out. He couldn’t contest that if one defensive mid should be fielded, that Zermin held the upper hand but would that mean that there was no more place for him? At once, he recalled the ironical ‘enjoy it while it lasts, mate’ Danilius Wreczius had uttered when realising that his shirt would be worn by Naess now. It appeared that it was his time to slowly fade from the public eye, first spend a campaign or something on the bench and maybe play one more time – “solid but a bit slow” – when the starter had a sprained ankle. One day, the conscription letters wouldn’t end up in his mailbox anymore and his name would only be mentioned in the third paragraph about the youngster who was about to get his first cap.

As we were having the upper hand, but hadn’t backed that with goals so far, only a few of our offensive players were entertaining those in the crowd of the Nine who hadn’t exchanged their cold seat for a hot half-time beverage. In the dressing room, the eleven guys that had besieged the Lojalish goal area huddled up with the remaining bench players. It was only now that Harald Naess understood what guys like Jaro Martinek, Jonas Englund or Jochen Ptak had to endure time and time again. Despite all the feedback, the communication and the well-meant group moments, he struggled to feel part of the team knowing that he wasn’t counted on for a solution.

“All right, lads, I’m looking at that scoreboard and there’s something wrong. But it’s not that board that’s f’ed up, it is our finishing. Right now, we’re like a bunch of fishermen, sitting at the pond and waiting till the fish will bite. I can tell you one thing, that Lojal fish will remain where it is as one point is what they came for. You’ll have to jump into the bloody water and drag that fish to the shore, where you will smack its head against the rock until it stops squirming. Are you ready for that?”

Harald could feel a strange wave vibrating through the dressing room, as the group had grown used to the relaxed and calm analyses from Sirius Hope. His way of things had quickly been wiped out of the room. Sometimes, Harald felt as if he was the only one so sensitive to these changes, if only an alteration in the colour codes during the tactical explanations and the way the cones were placed.

While the others were going along in the motivational story set up by Shale, Harald calmly looked over the diverse heads. Seber, who was on a great streak, nodding at every word. Tufte, who took his new role as defensive leader serious, trying to add details to the explanations of Shale. Dalmshelf, accepting the harsh words of his manager as he had made quite a few wrong decisions in front of the goal. Knutsen, visibly hardened in this branches of half-time speech during his spell in Nephara…

Not only the heads of those with studs on their shoes showed all you wanted to know. Naess calmly ogled Erica Brewer, their new assistant manager. Although Buyanese weren’t accustomed to females in the dressing room, her skill in the field had made her gender a non-topic to most and the trust Shale held in his wingwoman made this with doubts keep their opinion to themselves. In the furthest corner, Alowysz Krupa, who had been demoted to second assistant, tried to keep up with the specifics of the dialect of their new manager. Somehow, Naess realised, there was some sort of extra doubt on his face, some darker shade over the always red cheeks.

Although he knew that it was a bit out of tune over the upbeat atmosphere that had been ignited by the late goal of Sverre Devold, Naess couldn’t get read of that particular feeling he got during the half time break. As Krupa wasn’t as active in the post-match celebrations as the remainder of the group, who were off to greet the fans in the stands, Naess decided to break the ice.

“What’s up, Alo?”
“Oh, fine, fine.”

His dark eyes were shifting into all sorts of directions.

“You know you’re an awful liar, right?”
“Ok… It’s Sirius.”
“What about him?”
“Well, a few days ago, I thought, I swing by at his place. I’m still a bit sorry for him and as he said earlier that he would stay in the country till the paperwork was done – and we know how long that can take – so I decided to see him. But as I was crossing into his street, looking for a parking spot, I noticed how he was standing at the curb with two guys I haven’t seen before. As I wanted to get out and walk up to them, I saw how he followed them into a large, dark Ulcan and before I could say anything, they drove off.”
“Hm... Maybe friends,” Naess tried to come up with an explanation, “of foreign representatives of other teams?”
“In an Ulcan? Sirius has few friends in our nation and even less that drive a state car.”
“That’s indeed strange.”
“What’s more, I haven’t heard of him since,” Krupa added.
“That’s…”

Their conversation got cut short by Reinhard Shale clapping on Naess’ shoulders.

“Hey guys, what’s with the long faces. We lose together, but we win together as well. I expect you to be with the group at moments like this, their veterans should lead the way!”
“Sorry,” Krupa murmured and jogged to the bunch of dancing players.
“Veteran,” Naess thought, “those who no longer pick up the weapon but stay home and show their medals to their grandchildren. I’m in that category already.”

Line-up for the game in the Free Swiss States

Ulle Seber
Ignas Smetona - Rafal Giertych - Sigurd Tufte - Kazimieras Zemaitis
Espen Knutsen - Sverre Devold - Quinten Zermin - Frederik Wallenberg
Duco Dalmshelf - Andrey Rettinger

Bench: Schmidt - Saldlund - Dziuba - Mamontovas - Refshauge - Kluszak - Plovnarov - Halmiini - Naess - Hostmann - Ptak - Havelund

Never change a winning team, it's a football wisdom to which Shale abides as well. Three games in, the Hedgehogs have gained nine points, scored five goals, accepted none and gathered a positive vibe from the audience. Ulle Seber is solid and the quartet in front of him hasn't made any mistake. Tufte learns to lead along the way, while Smetona takes a bit too much risk from time to time, but fits in well. Bronius Bartkus is still recovering, but could return for the last match against Audioslavia. The midfield gels well, only the position of Wallenberg was disputed but his assisting pass against Lojal ended that. The attacking duo starts to find one another, leaving little chances for Ptak or Havelund to break into the starting eleven.

by **Bears Armed** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:45 am

Goals
Bears Armed = 7: Arrogh (#11) [3 = 07’; 29’; 57’], SunDaughter (#10) [2 = 15’; 27’], Bruin (#21) [1 = 36’], Karramarsar (#23) (1 = 46’).

New North Aqmuland = ??? [1 = 04’], ??? [1 = 31’] , ??? [1 = 50’].

“I don’t know why some countries apparently feel a need to keep the names of their players such a deep secret…” grumbled journalist Florise Fane, pulling a sheet of paper from her typewriter and adding it to the stack that was perched rather precariously on one corner of her desk.

“Maybe they’re worried that somebearry will try working purple magic* against them otherhows?” trainee reporter Bark Brent replied.

“Hrrrmph! And how likely would that be, hrreally?”

“Well, somebearry did temporarily turn most of the Bear-Belles into younger versions of themselves during their match against Cata Larga, last week, after all…
“Surely you haven’t forgotten that, Florise, Miss Fane, have you?” answered photographer Jammy Urrsen, who had just entered the office carrying a bag of doughnuts whose contents he then began distributing to the various other staff members present in accordance with their earlier orders.

“Urrgah! I’d like to be able to forget it, I hrreally would, for true!” Florise began to explain. “Seeing so many accomplished she-bears hrreduced back to their cubhood like that was, well, rrather unsettling.” She reached out absent-mindedly and took the last doughnut — which happened to be one with a strawberry jam filling — from the bag.

“Hey, that was supposed to be mine…” Bark grumbled quietly.

“Did you just say something, Brent?”

“No, Miss Fane.”

“Good.
“So, anyhows, at least the ‘experts’ whom BAAS** called in were able to get that transformation rreversed after only a couple of days, leaving our girls with time to get back on form again before this match…” Florise continued.

“On form, and how!”

“Ayyuh, “and how” indeed, Jammy. That was a rather impressive score, I’ll admit, especially bearing in mind how well the Aquamlanders ” — or hwhatever they call themselves — have been playing during this series of matches and how enthusiastically their home crowd was supporting them during this match. If they can keep that standard up then I’d forecast a good future for them…”

“So, anyhows,” asked Bark Brent “Has anything been made public about how our girls were changed like that?”

“Ayyuh,” Jammy replied. “There was a press release from BAAS that had just arrived in the main offices hwhen I came back through them just now. Hasn’t a copy of it reached you yet? Uh-oh…
“Anyhows, apparently it was purple magic, for true. A spell cast by a young outsider calling himself Karryon the Witch Boarlet, because he thought that it would be funny, is hwaht they’re saying.”

“An ‘outsider’, you say, Jammy?” enquired Florise in a pointed tone.

“Ayyuh, well,” he admitted reluctantly. “hokay, another Amberrican*** actually, it seems…”

“Hr’rmm…”

_____________________________________________________________

OOC

* ‘purple magic’… Or as we might say in English, ‘black magic’: the Bears’ term commemorates the nature of the mage-ruled ‘Purple Empire’ that tried [unsuccessfully] to establish control over all the Bears in what is now ‘Bears Armed’, many yonkhs [i.e. sixty-fours] of years ago back in the ‘Heroic Age’.

** BAAS = ‘Bears Armed Association for Soccer’, which is the sport’s governing body in this nation.

*** The United States of Amberrica is the nation, in another version of Reality, from which Jammy Urrsen himself (and most of the other characters whom I’ve been borrowing from DC Comics for use in this storyline, too) originated...

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:47 am

Neorudo Airfield, Neorduo, Mertagne

"What's this?" asked the man at the arrivals gate of Mertagne's shiny new airport, Neorudo Airfield. He handed the small navy blue book back to the man. "What is this?"

"It's my passport, sir." said the man, snatching it back off of him before opening it up and holding it to his face. "See, look! It's me, Harvey Harding! And these are my papers! I applied for Asylum, and was accepted! Just like half my co-workers!" he gestured to the three people stood behind him, clutching bags and dragging suitcases.

"It's Syndicatian. How do we know you're not spies, using falsified documents, here to tear us apart from the inside?" the border guard looked unamused at the sport reporter, and glanced back down to his holiday magazine. "I've had enough of Syndicatians."

"You were one of us once. Not too long ago, in fact. Just you were smart enough to run away before things got bad."

"Before? Corvidae burned my house down, my friend. Things were very bad, even during the three years we were a sovereign nation!" the border guard huffed.

"You never were a sovereign nation until you ran across the Bekk, my friend." said Harding, gripping his papers ever tighter, "And now, I've applied for entry here. So, can we please let me in?"

"No." said the border guard, without glancing from his magazine. "Now go away."

Harding walked right past the border guard, and gestured to the rest of his party. Before he could get very far, however, the border guard leapt from his post along with two others and dropped Harding to the ground.

The Back Rooms, Neorudo Airfield, Mertagne

"So, Mr. Harding, do you know why you are here?" asked the woman with the lamp, shining it directly into Harding's eyes as she clicked the tape recorder.

"I do. I tried to enter the country. With my papers. But you wouldn't let me in!" he sighed.

"Correct. As you are Syndicatian, this man didn't want you in our country. Even though you have the papers, he still refused to let you in. We don't tolerate that here in Mertagne. We're a fair country, and don't discriminate based on nationality." the woman slid a green passport and papers over to Harding. "There. You're one of us now, and the border guard who denied you entry has been fired. You're free to leave - the rest of your party are waiting for you outside."

Neorduo, Mertagne

Stepping out of that sorry excuse for an International Airport was one of the best feelings of my life. A taxi was waiting for me outside, and when I asked to be taken to the headquarters of the Mertian Broadcasting Network, the driver had no idea what I meant. After doodling a map on a napkin, he understood, and my friends and I sat in the back of the taxi, looking at the slowly growing urban centre that was to be the capital of our new home. I sometimes wonder what got me into this mess, this untold story of corruption and intrigue - a story that will probably never be told, for fear of being killed by those who wrote it. Still, at least I'm safe here - I think - working for the very force that opposes the one I originally worked for.

I suppose I should collect and sort my thoughts in order. Suprisingly, I'm not very good at that, even though I'm a sports reporter. You see, three months ago I was headhunted by the Mertians to take part in their new upstart media network, that would be a beacon of fairness and unbiasedness that would make the whole world jealous. It was to be called Ekitaldia - quite literally "The Event" in New Mertian - and it was, for the time being, to be based in the building that I stood in front of. I dusted myself off, readjusted my EyeGlass, and walked inside. Upon entry, I was greeted by the man I'd contacted previously - the man who'd taught me Sebald Code. He shook my hand, welcomed me to Ekitaldia, and showed me to what was to be my house and working quarters. There's this weird thing about Mertagne, you see. Some people live where they work, in order to get to work quickly and to leave early, I guess? I took the offer anyway, as it meant I didn't have to pay for my accommodation, and took a look around my new quarters. I have a skylight. I had one back in the Syndicate. I like looking up at the stars when I sleep, so I pushed my bed over to where the skylight was on the opposite wall before unpacking. This isn't much, a fraction of what I had back in Fligsive, but at least this will be here for the foreseeable future...

by **Zwangzug** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:37 pm

"What's a chap?"

"Chap?"

"Right. What does that mean?"

"Is this some joke? This isn't an Earad word."

"No, it's English."

"And you think I know what it means?"

"Yes. They have some in Earent, I think."

"I don't know."

"Well, I don't think we have any," said Vera. "Earent were in some kind of chap Olympiad, some time ago?"

"Oh, yes," said Laynee. "The brother of the woman who's not queen, he went with some of his friends. They drank a lot of alcohol."

"The woman who's not queen?" Martina chimed in. "What does that make all the others?"

Laynee squinted, unsure whether she was being made fun of. "No queens anymore, the monarchy is gone. She's not important, officially. But if we had a queen, she would be it! And so her brother...is more a chap, maybe? I don't know."

"Oh, I say!" Blake finally called out. "How very dare you?"

"What I dare?"

"You dare think you have the most piddling idea what constitutes a chap, what? It's an obnoxious shame, is what it is. Our nation can't muster up the proper resources needed to engage in a spiffing chap Olympiad, because we haven't got any bally pipes, gin, tonic, what have you! And your nation has let its standards regrettably down, I must say. Ah for the old-time glories and whatnot? Don't suppose you ever got around to colonizing less fortunate chaps?"

"Our government used to spend most of its time getting married, and trying to make sure we do not flood," Laynee responded.

"And you've only gone and done it, haven't you? Keeping your heads well and truly above water! In every sense of the bally word. Lips, stiffness, and all that; I'd respond in kind, don't you know, but mustaches and all being what they are, it's not really the done thing."

"I don't have a mustache? None of our women do. Even if chap is supposed to include women? Because the Holy Empire is...including all? I think you're making fun of me."

"Why, if you weren't my superior, I'd ask you to learn your station!"

"Quiet now. Maybe if you think more about real sports, less about silly Olympics, we wouldn't fall into third place."

Blake stared, temporarily silenced, as she paced off irritatedly. After a moment's hesitation, Martina followed after. "Well, then," he finally said to Vera, "I'd tell you what I think of these non-chaps from pinkish parts coming in and ordering me around, only those blighters in the press have standards for what they quote and I can't have them getting a transcription, what."

Vera trailed off; she was staring over at Nirav, who'd entered quietly. "Nirav, dude. You okay?"

"I'm fine," he said.

"Your lip's bleeding!"

"It's dry here."

"Can I get you something?"

"No. All that sticky junk grosses me out...I'll be okay, promise," he added.

"What does chap mean to me, indeed," Blake sighed. "Do you know, sometimes I really do despair for our chances."

(Keenan 47, Wiltner 68)

by **Kiryu-shi** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:46 pm

Dear [Redacted],

I apologize for the lack of letters recently. I guess I have been putting it off, I didn’t know what to say in response to your latest letter and I am still struggling with how to word my response.

It’s not that I’m particularly hurt by what you wrote and your desire to see me work toward a life more akin to something that you’d be proud of. I don’t know, maybe it is hurt. But the prevailing feeling is a deep sadness and frustration. I’m proud of the life I’m living, I’m happy with the work I’m doing, and I’m looking forward to building a family and a life for myself. It hasn’t been particularly easy these last eight years, and it wasn’t even particularly easy before you were arrested and sentenced. We had a difficult childhood, [redacted] and I. I respect your idealism, your beliefs, the conviction you have in a future that seems so unrealistic and unimaginable to me.

And, you know, you may be right. Your ideas for how the country should be run might be more effective, maybe we would all be happier and wealthier and people would succeed and fail on their merits and everything would just be a lot more fair. I’ve heard you discuss it enough to be more than a little convinced. But it’s not my cause. It never was my cause, and all those times you dragged me to protests, and all those rallies we attended as a family - those are not the memories of you that I cherish, and those aren’t the experiences that have shaped who I want to become. I’m never going to be an activist like you are. Your concerns resonate with me, but they can’t consume me. I won’t let them. Maybe I am at fault for that - I’m not strong enough or powerful enough or compassionate enough to dedicate myself to a calling that might be true. That might improve all of our lives. You have a right to be disappointed in me. But I’m not going to give everything I have up again to live in your footsteps.

Like I said, I like my job. It’s not what you envisioned I would be doing with my life, but I still find it rewarding. It’s not world-changing, but we do help people live their lives in ways that they wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Maybe thousands upon thousands of citizens would be able to do my job as well or better than I can, but as a team, my office does a decent job finding practical solutions to real world problems for actual people. It isn’t idealogical, we don’t strive to change society. It’s not glamourous or political or revolutionary, but I like it. It’s part of who I am.

I’d like you to be a part of who I am too, but I can’t give more of my life to your causes. For whatever reason - selfishness or apathy or whatever - I can’t do what you’re asking me to do, I could never do what you wanted me to do.

I’m sorry.

As for the Kiri, well, they had a good stretch - we even beat Nephara in dramatic fashion. It was a crazy game, and you know, dreams of granduer flooded our nation. But watching it, it seems that the internal dynamics of our opposition had a lot more to do with our success than any skill intrinsic to us. The moments of brilliance were caused by mistakes they made - and we capitalized. We finished 2-1, scoring both of our goals in the second half with what seemed like the entire nation cheering the team on.

But we lost against Vaugania. Got crushed, to be honest. We looked tired and slow and we just couldn’t pull it together. It looked like after putting so much on the line to

Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes we just can’t be who you want us to be.

Sorry.

Sincerely,
[Redacted]

by **Saintland** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:51 pm

World Cup Qualifying Predictions: Part 2

(SP) There are now just 3 days remaining in World Cup Qualifying. Our very own National Team has now improved to 11-0-0 in Qualifying and has clinched first place in their group. Yesterday, the SP posted some predictions relating to groups 1-12. Today, we will go over our predictions from yesterday, revise them as necessary, and make new predictions for the remaining 12 Qualifying groups. It is obligatory for any serious international sports media outlet to do this, so we will.

In Group 1, we picked Northern Sunrise Islands to win the group and Mizuyuki to finish second. NSI seems near-certain to win this group. Mizuyuki just lost to Thatius, who is now a point back of them in the race for second. HopNation is 2 points back at the moment. We're sticking with our pick here, despite HopNation's slightly easier remaining schedule. We just aren't confident in their ability to avoid losing to both Thatius and Mizuyuki. Nothing's really changed in Group 2. We stand by our prediction of Farfadillis first, Sargossa second (due to a draw against Lymantatia). In Group 3, Vilita looks even more certain to win the group. The Icemark still seems to be fading and we see no reason to change our pick for second to anybody other than Boring Paradise. In Group 4, Kazamatsuri defeated Taeshan yesterday when we had predicted a Taeshani victory in that very match. Therefore, while we stand by our pick of Osarius to win the group, we are now picking Kazamatsuri to finish second. In Group 5, we stated that New Montreal States was the strongest of the teams vying for second place behind near-certain group winners Jeruselem. They proved that yesterday with a 4-4 draw against the group leaders. While Nexxus Drako now leads in the race for second in that group and Nova Anglicana is now tied with NMS, we're still picking NMS to finish second. We see no reason to change our picks of Ko-oren and Zenic, in that order, for Group 6.

Group 7, however, is a bit more complicated. Legalese defeated HorusLand, finally playing like the top-20 team that the KPB say they are, while Antoletia suffered an embarrassing draw in Gloriax. Therefore, we're swapping our predicted order in Group 7. Legalese will win the group and Antoletia will finish second. There is no reason to change our picks of Free Republics first and San Jose Guayabal second in Group 8. In Group 9, the Blouman Empire actually managed to drop 2 points against a rather hapless Green Highland team, while the Royal Barangay showed why we picked them to finish second in the group by pulling off a 1 goal to nil victory in Nassau-Hessen. We're sticking with our prediction of Blouman first, Barangay second. Group 10, however, has tightened dramatically after Nouvel Ecosse managed to hold the surprising Sandwich Territories team to a draw. Sandwich Territories now lead Quebec by a point, with Pasarga still behind them. We had picked them to narrowly hold on, but we're going to revise that and go with Pasarga to finish first and Quebec second. The results in Group 11 yesterday have confirmed our prediction of Turori first and Starblaydia second, so we stand by that one. Finally, the Archregimancy defeated Hicana yesterday. Hicana was recently destroyed by Gregoryisgodistan. We still don't have confidence in Glaser's ability to hold onto second place, so we're now more confident that Karditan will make the playoffs from this group.

Group 13, as expected, sees Polar Islandstates leading. However, with 28 points, just 2 more than second place Yttribia, the margin is not as high as many would expect for the top-ranked team. Polar Islandstates won their first 8 Qualifying matches, but they have gone just 1-1-1 in their last 3 matches, including a 4 goals to 2 defeat in Kalumba and a 3-3 draw yesterday against Yttribia. While Yttribia played Eastfield Lodge to a draw on the first matchday of World Cup Qualifying, they have won every match since against an opponent not named Polar Islandstates. Kalumba is 4 points back and Eastfield Lodge will almost certainly be eliminated today, doomed to wait another World Cup for another shot at Qualification. Yttribia has already defeated Kalumba in Kalumba. That combined with the 4 goal advantage makes them an easy pick for second. Polar Islandstates will, of course, win this group. One rather surprising performance in this group is that of the BoF runners-up from the Fallenmark Islands. They have managed a single draw and 10 defeats in 11 matches, an extremely pathetic result for a team that showed such potential back in the BoF.

Group 14 is, basically, already decided. Bears Armed have returned to form this time around, with an absolute vengeance. They have won 9 matches and drawn 2 for a total of 29 points and are guaranteed at least a spot in the playoffs. They face second place Paradystopia today, in Paradystopia. Paradystopia is sitting on 25 points (a 7-4-0 record) and has a 7 point advantage over Jeru FC. The other 5 teams in this group are already eliminated. Of course, Jeru FC is eliminated as well, in all but name. Paradystopia is coming off of a draw in Gonzalez Isle. While they are going to finish second in this group, we can't see Paradystopia beating Bears Armed, even at home, so we're picking Bears Armed to finish first.

Group 15 has a rather surprising leader. Estope defeated Zwangzug 2 goals to nil yesterday, taking the group lead with 24 points. Barunia sits in second, with 22. Zwangzug has 21. New Wolfopolis is just 3 points out of second place. Star United States is 5 points behind and Dawnhaven is 7 behind. Estope's only difficult remaining match is a visit to New Wolfopolis, so you can put them into the top 2. However, we expect Barunia to take this group, by a narrow margin, as they are clearly the most talented team in the group. Estope will finish second.

Group 16 is currently led by Runtenbach, formerly the German American States. Runtenbach won their first 9 Qualifiers under their new name, but are coming off of a draw at Southern Holdinia and a loss at Notsofreeland in back-to-back matches. They have 28 points and lead the group. In second is the Inevitable Syndicate, which will host Runtenbach on the penultimate matchday. They are only 2 points out of the lead. Brenecia currently sits 3 points behind the Syndicate. Brenecia must still visit Runtenbach, who beat them 7 to 3 on Brenecian soil, but they have no remaining matches against the Syndicate. We're going out on a limb and predicting that Runtenbach will collapse. The Inevitable Syndicate wins this group, Brenecia makes the playoffs, Runtenbach ends up empty-handed despite being the second to last team to hold onto a perfect record.

Group 17 sees Vaugania in the lead with a 9-1-1 record, good for 28 points. Second is Kiryu-shi at 25 points, after their 3 goals to 1 defeat in Vaugania. Nephara is a surprising third in the group, 3 points behind Kiryu-shi. Nephara and Kiryu-shi have split their head-to-head meetings. Kandorith is also still alive, barely, on 19 points. Nephara still has to host Vaugania on the final matchday while Kiryu-shi has a soft remaining schedule. We can't see any path out of this group for a Nephara team that has underperformed in Qualifying this time around. Vaugania will win this group and Kiryu-shi will end up second, although they will need help from Vaugania to hold off the Nepharim. Nephara, probably, goes on to win the Cup of Harmony.

Amazingly, the Licentian Isles maintain an 8 point advantage over Eura in Group 18. Their only blemish so far in Qualifying is a draw at Milchama. The Licentians have 31 points at present and are guaranteed at least a spot in the playoffs. They are, almost certainly, going to qualify automatically for World Cup 68. Eura is clear of the rest of the group for second, maintaining a 5 point edge over Milchama and an 8 point edge over 3 other teams. Eura has a win and a draw against Milchama and is almost certainly going to finish second in this group. Nobody will want to play the Eurans in the playoffs, but some hapless lower-ranked team that lucked into a second place finish will have that dubious honor.

Skipping over our Group for the moment, we turn to Group 20. Chiata leads with 26 points. Felix is a point behind them at 25. Quakmybush trails Felix by 4 points, with Super-Llamaland a further 2 points back. Ceni is all but eliminated. We expect Felix and Chiata to be the 2 teams to advance out of this group, which will come down to the match in Chiata on the final matchday of Qualifying. Our pick in that match is Felix because they are simply the better side, even with the political interference in their National Team by the Corvidae-aligned government of Felix. To be clear, the SP is not taking any sides in the dispute in Felix. We stand by the King's neutral position regarding the current civil war in Felix. We pick Felix to win the group, Chiata to finish second.

Group 21 is currently dominated by 2 teams. One of them in Neu Engollon. The other is the Equestrian States. Both have 26 points. Neu Engollon previously defeated the Equestrian States in the Equestrian States and we expect them to rout the Talking Horses at home on the final matchday. However, Falcus is 5 points back and McKleigh is 7 back. We can't see Falcus making up their 5 point deficit, so we reluctantly have to pick the Equestrian States to finish second (and lose a playoff series). We pick Neu Engollon to win the group.

Group 22's leader is a dominant Valanora team that has won 10 matches out of 11 thus far. Their only blemish was a 4 goals to 2 shocker in Levivania, which they have already avenged. Valanora holds an 8 point advantage over Saugeais and is almost certainly headed back to the World Cup again. They always qualify and there is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that this edition of the World Cup will be any different. Quite the contrary, actually. Saugeais leads Filopines by 2 points, Shadowbourne by 3 and Levivania by 4. While Saugeais won Cup of Harmony 58 around a year ago, they haven't been overly strong of late. Of the rivals, only Filopines likely has a realistic shot of knocking them off. We believe that they will do so, by the slimmest of margins (1 point). Valanora wins this group. Filopines finishes second.

The current leader of Group 23 is Valladares, with 28 points. Furellum is second with 24. Sameba currently sits 2 points behind Furellum. Darmen is also in this group, but has had an atrociously bad Qualifying campaign. Valladares is the best team in this group, without question. They're a regular contender to win the World Cup Finals. Of the other teams, Furellum is clearly better than Sameba, but Sameba has already gone into Furellum and won. This group will come down to the match in Sameba on the final day of the Group Stage. We're predicting a draw, so Furellum will sneak into the playoffs. Valladares, of course, wins the group.

While Audioslavia does have a 1-1 draw against Buyan, they have a 10-1-0 record with a +37 goal differential. Besides the goal they allowed against Buyan, the only other goal they have allowed so far was against United Eastedge in a match that took place in United Eastedge. There can be no doubt that Audioslavia will win this group and qualify directly to the World Cup. Buyan is currently second with a 6-4-1 record, good for 22 points. Maklohi Vai trails by a point. United Eastedge, winners of the most recent Baptism of Fire, are 3 back. Kernansquillec are 5 back. Kernansquillec won't be going to the playoffs. Of the other 3, the only one that has no remaining matches against Audioslavia is United Eastedge. Buyan, however, maintains tiebreakers over both of their main rivals. If United Eastedge is to advance, they will need Audioslavia to remain dominant until the end and will have to hope that either Free Swiss States or Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk gorod takes at least a point from Buyan. If both of those things happen, United Eastedge would make the playoffs with 3 consecutive victories. We're going to go out on a limb and predict exactly that. Audioslavia wins Group 24. United Eastedge, winners of the BoF, shock the multiverse by making the playoffs, only to get embarrassed by an opponent the caliber of Eura or the Free Republics.

Finally, Group 19 features the Saintland National Soccer Team, which is the first team to start Qualifying with 11 consecutive victories since Vilita in World Cup 64. They are currently chasing a perfect World Cup Qualifying campaign, an exceedingly rare accomplishment. The last teams to pull off that feat were Wight and Darmen in World Cup 66, who did so with only 10 Qualifying victories due to the 30 groups of 6 format. Wight would go on to win their first 4 matches in the World Cup Finals before the Inevitable Syndicate knocked the then-defending champions out in the Quarterfinals A.E.T. The last team to pull off an undefeated Qualifying campaign in a 14 match Qualifying format was the Holy Empire, who did so in World Cup 62. They would win 7 additional matches to become the only team, in the modern era, to maintain a perfect record for an entire World Cup cycle. Before that, the previous perfect Qualifying campaign was also by the Holy Empire, a 16-0-0 campaign to reach World Cup 57. They would go 1-1-1 in the World Cup Group Stage, but nonetheless advance and finish second in that edition of the World Cup. Remarkably, in World Cup 56 Qualifying, The Babbage Islands had done the same thing, but they faltered in the Quarterfinals. Sorthern Northland managed a perfect 10-0-0 in the first tier of World Cup 54 Qualifying and started 4-0-0 in the second tier, but faltered on the last day of Qualifying. Candelaria and Marquez, back in World Cup 50, pulled off the most remarkable achievement of all, managing to win 20 consecutive Qualifying matches to obtain a perfect Qualifying campaign. They even won 4 consecutive matches in the World Cup Finals for a total of 24 (3 more than the 21 won by the Holy Empire in their perfect World Cup campaign), but Ad'ihan knocked them out. If our National Team can win their remaining matches (in Alexanderburn, against Alundas at Royal Stadium and at Olastor), we'll be just the 6th different nation and the 7th total to pull off a perfect Qualifying campaign in the modern era. However, Vilita fell just short of that accomplishment in both World Cup 63 and 64 and Cassadaigua once started Qualifying with 16 consecutive wins before faltering, so it will be a difficult feat to pull off. While we have clinched the group, due to our 9 point advantage over Gregoryisgodistan and possession of the HTH tiebreaker, our own National Team still has history to chase. Gregoryisgodistan is second with 24 points, 5 ahead of Olastor and West Angola. The Gregoryisgodistanis still have Olastor, West Angola and the Kytler Peninsulae on their schedule, a rather difficult final stretch. The SP predicts that West Angola will finish second and when they do, we hope that the people of Gregoryisgodistan will finally realize that Gregory is not God, he is a coward of a man who brutally murders his own people. Once they realize that, one can only pray that they will embrace the One True God and His True Church...

by **McKleigh** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:53 pm

Schedule and results for McKleigh#103
W 5-0 Jul 22 vs. Francilie#358
W 5-3 Jul 23 vs. Atanatos#131
D 0-0 Jul 24 @ Neu Engollon#43
W 2-0 Jul 25 vs. Camerania#309
L 2-3 Jul 26 @ Equestrian States#28
W 3-2 Jul 27 vs. Falcus#75
W 1-0 Jul 28 @ Laiyenda#236
W 4-0 Aug 1 @ Francilie#358
L 0-1 Aug 2 @ Atanatos#131
L 0-3 Aug 3 vs. Neu Engollon#43
L 0-1 Aug 4 @ Camerania#309
Aug 5 vs. Equestrian States#28
Aug 6 @ Falcus#75
Aug 7 vs. Laiyenda#236

What has happened to the Gingers as of late??? Well, Margaret mostly. McKleigh came out roaring in this cup. All looked great for the gingers. However in the match @ Atanatos team captain Donovan McNeil was tackled at the '23 mark and badly injured his left knee. He will not be playing again, nor walking, this cup. This would be a carear ending injury doctors say, if he were not already retiring. It is good indead for Donovan he already is lined up to be coaching at Urbanista of Apox. However the team will suffer greatly as he has scored 7 of the teams 22 goals, almost 1/3, and McKleigh has yet to score since his departure from the pitch. Adding insult to injury at the '27 mark Jonah MacGrough was also very crudely tackled. Very "unchaplike" behavior immediatly followed as Jonah came up swinging fist earning him a red card and Blangalamala recieved his second yellow trying to break up the scuffle. McKleigh would fall 1-0.

The match against Neu Engollon had at one time been highlighted on every chaps calander in McKleigh as there were high hopes of pulling off an upset at home after playing to a tie in N.E. However those hopes faded quickly as McNeil was injured and MacGrough and Blangalamala were both suspended. While the remaining starters welcomed replacement starters Jiopuitipo, McKleigh, and McStreya and they played their hearts out in the end the lack of their star players was too much to overcome and the gingers fell 3-0, although O'Branche and McSands saw the net but had the goals called back on very very close offsides calls. In frustration the McIntyre brothers Terry and Taran got into a shouting contest with the officials after one of the questionable offsides calls and both were rather quickly red carded.

At lowly Camerania the Gingers came in with huge confidence of obtaining a needed win. However, down 3 starters once again and short team captain McNeil McKleigh not only lost again, but were shut out for the third straight match.

For tonights match against the Ponies of Equestrian States McNeil will once again be on the field, on crutches, and acting as an assistant coach. The Gingers hope that being back in McKleigh City Coliseum and having their loved leader back will be enough to top the high ranking Ponies who only defeated the Gingers by one in E.S. Once again McKleigh will be going very defensive with a 5-3-2 formation and starting their 3 Peludalta players and using keeper Kwiglagliopisa as a defender and naming keeper McDaniel as captain. McKleigh will also be hoping for young Jonah MacGrough to return to his high level of scoring we saw in WC68 that has lacked so far this cup. Here is the starting lineup for tonight.
K #12 McDaniel
DF #2 O'Tour
DF #4 Blangalamala
DF #15 McIntyre
DF #19 Jiopuitipo
DF #33 Kwiglagliopisa
MF #5 McIntyre
MF #8 Knight
MF #10 O'Branche
FW #11 MacGrough
FW #21 McSands

by **Red Blackiland** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:35 pm

Red Blackiland Week Football/Soccer Bolletin II

Rain of goals in Blackberry : Red Blackiland 3-3 Carialus

The net and the ball were much active in this match,seen by the much attacks produced in the game and the number of the goals,the ball was well 'treated',in four times the ball hit the post,two for each team,Red Blackiland had more bal possession but Carialus shooted to the goal 18 times and Red Blackiland 16 times,of course,the home advantage and atmosphere make difference to the team,the goal net was shaked very much until say enough.
Both teams need points,Carialus with your inspiration in Chiata's style,because Carialus is a territorial puppet from Chiata with 'autonomy',herited the soccer style of Carialus,fast counter-attacks and wingers and a fast defense-attack integration.
The three Red Blackilandian goals came from worked and elaborated attack moves,shows the technical and tactical evolution of this team,great actuation by Felipinho and Carmona as always,specially Bászta desarming much attacks on your side and of course great actuation by the fans.
Bászta was in evidence again,after a great actuation and make assistance to two goals and be the master of the team in this game,received much praises by Peter Valbuena,the Red Blackiland's coach.
Who also lives in good phase is Juliano Matheus,actuated well in the last matches and in this match give a assistance to the third goal,back to shine!

Peter Valbuena in a short press conference : ''Felipinho,Carmona and Juliano Matheus are three great and important players,we need caution and calm with them,we played against a relativelly young,experienced and tactical team,but we are the home team,we needed to be agressive and offensive,but we aren't good in defense and received three goals,we searched for the three points but a draw is good,against a hard rival that is Carialus.

Other curious fact in the match,is the Red Blackiland fan that invaded the field to do your show.He,of course,wasn't lucid.He's send the cops to hell and said that they we are on alliance with the ET's to dominate the world and said this ETs are a product from oppressor capitalism to dominate the world.After,he was arrested by the group of cops from Blackberry Police Unity are scaled to make the escort of the match.

Red Blackiland will play,nothing more nothing less,against the best team and the leader of the group,Brouman Empire,when in the first confront in the group,in Blackberry,the home advantage make all difference in the match and these two teams tied in 0-0 scores.Now,the Red Blackilandians will travel to Grona to play in Bloumany Stadium with 1000,000 capacity fans in which are speculated 3,000 Red Blackiland fans in Bloumany Stadium away section.
Peter Valbuena will change the tactical strategy to turn the tactical system more defensive and exit to the attack with counter-attack style with more or less four players and all defensive midfielders help the protection of the defense that play with three defenders.
Blouman Empire not losed in this group and came from a tie against Green Highland,certainly a lose is a normal result in this situation,rest for the team difficulty this.
How say the Argentinians ''Ponga huevo que ganamos!'' , in your case ''Que podemos''.

See you soon!

by **Super-Llamaland** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:25 pm

Chase to Vargas?
Young Republican striker offered twenty-three million to help defend title

When Connie Chase scored against Hutt River at the age of fourteen to seal the game, most saw a nice storyline. But FC Vargas, realizing the benefit of having such a talented player at fourteen, quickly readied their checkbooks. When Chase was posted by Rule Theriault, manager of the Free Republics national team, FC Vargas leapt at the opportunity, offering twenty-three million for Chase.

"We're excited to have a chance at one of the best young players in the world at the tender age of fourteen. Chase could help us for years and years to come," teams spokesman Hadrian Castillo said when asked.

When questioned about the high price, Castillo stated: "For a fourteen-year-old, twenty-three million is almost nothing with so many long-term benefits."

"What if she doesn't accept?"

"We can up it to twenty-seven million and promise her the starting spot for three years."

"That sounds good, how will Benson react?"

"We're going to transfer him to FC Talahita."

"Alright."

Bryan Ferguson was warming his innards over a cup of hot tea while simultaneously worrying about his fiancee.

"Refill?" one of the rare female workers at the camp asked.

Bryan made eye contact and spontaneously forgot about his fiancee.

"Yeah, thanks." he received another cup of tea and sipped. "How long have you been working here?"

She dropped the entire tray of tea cups. Miraculously, the tray landed flat on the floor, with only one cup being spilled. Ferguson quickly helped her mop it up.

"Thanks." she smiled wanly.

"No problem," he said, inwardly sighing as he went back to his wooden chair.

"Six weeks now," she said, turning back, which made her blond hair smoothly flip up. Bryan sighed again, attempted to pull himself together, and realized that she had said something.

"Erm-w-what?"

"Six weeks. I've been working here for six weeks. That's what you asked, wasn't it?"

"Oh, uh, yeah."

"I'm Alex."

"Bryan. Nice to meet you."

And so it began - and the end too was written.

"So, Bryan. How are you about the Granveir presidency?"

"Oh, uh..." he began to sweat profusely, noticing the privates who had beaten him after the loss to the Vjaals staring at him. "I-I'm okay with it, I guess," he said, heart pumping, face flooded with anxiety. The privates walked away to do something else. She slipped something into his hand, said, "well, I'll see you around," and left. Bryan frowned in disappointment and decided to go back into his room to read it.

Code: Select all: IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THE ANTI-GRANVEIR LEAGUE THEN MEET ME TONIGHT AT ONE AM

Bryan gasped silently.

Tigers 2 - 3 Quakmybush: I DON'T CARE ANYMORE

From Randall Munroe's xkcd comic at xkcd.com/653

I. No. Longer. Care. About. The. Tigers.

This team, these Tigers that can lose three-two to a nation called Quakmybush, one of few nation names sillier, no- downright more STUPID than ours - is not a team that can make it to the World Cup. Whether it's the offense (nil-nil in Ceni, one-nil over Subspace Embassy) or the defense (this game) or both (the Chiata Debacle) at fault, there's always somebody at fault. We haven't played a great game since that marathon four-three victory over Felix, and the last one before that was two-one over the Sunrise Isles two years prior.

I'm not sure if this team really has what it takes. They've no veteran leadership - their captain, Derrick Nelson, is in his second qualifying campaign, and the oldest player, Justin Allen, is a mere thirty-one and regularly sits out with red cards. The offense only comes out in bursts - following the 4-3 victory over Felix and the win over Costa de Ouro, they've scored three goals in the second half of qualifying.
There's too much of a me-first culture: Cartwright and Ford are the stars here, and neither is exactly a great passer. The offense's chemistry they found in the first half is gone now, and they're struggling to survive.

A win against Felix could change all of that, but I'm not hopeful. I mean, Felix isn't in the best form either after a recent loss to Costa de Ouro, but they're certainly in better shape than us. It should be another exciting matchup, but the first game will certainly surpass it.

Today's loss just embodied the team's failures recently.

Quakmybush 3 - 2 Super-Llamaland

57% possession, 8 shots (5 on goal), one yellow card - 43% possession, 11 shots (3 on goal), one yellow card

Guy 15', Guy 44', Guy 47'
Cartwright 6', Powell 65'

Once again, this was everything wrong with the Tigers. They still have the fight, at least some of them do, but their team chemistry was absolute suckage and the defense chose the wrong day for an off night.

Things got out to a quick start, with a run into the box from new striker Eden Powell leading to a perfect Sturgeon cross to Alex Cartwright, who volleyed it into the box to make it one-nil. The next few minutes were tense, with runs from both sides, but it was Quakmybush's star striker who snuck into the box and equalized in the fifteenth.

Around this time, Quakmybush began to steadily gain possession as a flurry of runs by Ford and Cartwright fizzled out as they refused any means of support. Ferguson desperately pushed up, but Eden Powell seemed to be the only finisher that match and Ford/Cartwright refused to pass to him despite his perfect positioning a few times. When Quakmybush put their team ahead two-one right before the half's end, loss seemed inevitable.

Whereupon: 16 34 11 10

In the forty-seventh minute, after a third goal put the Bush Quakers up three-one, Ferguson shocked everybody, removing Ford and Cartwright to space the offense more effectively, shifting around to a dynamic but controlled front three of Eden Powell//Michael McKenzie//Jacob Brennaman, with a midfield of capable playmakers and defenders, Wiggins, Sturgeon, and Player. The new team began to push forwards after the disastrous first forty-seven minutes, eventually forcing a defensive error, allowing Eden Powell to dart forwards and slap one by the Quaking goalie to make it three-two. But from there, the Quacks launched a surprise counteroffense, barely holding back the Tigers and holding out for the three-two win, putting the Tigers in a precarious position with their fate no longer in their own hands - winning out would still require a Felix loss for advancement to the playoffs.

by **Nephara** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:46 pm

Georgia Kite
"So, hey, Georgia. Want to ask you something."
Georgia Kite turned, her short hair flicking around in the breeze. It was Cheney Bittencourt behind, sauntering casually after her soon after the training session. He was tossing a green apple casually in the air.
"What is it?"
"Just curious. Wanted to know a few things. How come you, like, never do anything with the rest of the team? Just... strike out on your own all the time."
"It's not as I dislike you or anything," said Georgia defensively. "I'm just... not sure as I share many of your interests."
"Who cares?" said Cheney flippantly. "Maybe you'll learn a thing or two."
"Maybe it's easy for you. What if I said as I din't take much interest in sitting around a few pints talkin' about tits for a few hours as you lot?"
Cheney bit his lip. "If you said that? Well, it'd sound a fucking lot as if you thought you were somethin' better than us."
"That's not what I'm sayin'-"
"Ah, come on! At least have a chat here with me." Cheney took a chunk out of the apple with clear relish.
"Well... alright."
They sat down at a nearby bench, surrounded by trees. It was a quiet day in the Sabrefell park, and the leaves were rustling softly in the wind.
"So, tell me somethin', Georgie."
"Georgia, for fuck's sake. Georgie just sounds like a fat ten-year old girl with glasses."
"Was that you back in the day, then?"
There was a glare.
Cheney shrugged it off. "Anyways. Where're you from, down Vermillion way?"
"Yeah. Some Apox blood in me too, through my grandmother. In fact, that whole maternal side's a bit of a mongrel..."
"That's how it goes. Me, I grew up here. Here in inner Sabrefell, I mean. Family moved to Martella when I was... eleven, I think. Chasing a job opportunity for my father, God rest his soul." Cheney quietly crossed himself. "Anyway, that's when things started to kick off for us."
"For better? Or for worse?"
"Oh, for the better. We weren't starving anymore. And I liked the place even though I had to put myself around and meet people all over again. 'S always the hardest part."
"... I'll admit, I wasn't even really sure Martella was a place, beyond the football club."
"You're not wrong," said Cheney breezily. "Ah, it's a nice enough town, though. Lot of cafes. Great local coffee. Nice place to build your career. Then River picked me up, and I was called to the Under-21s."
"And it picked up from there?"
"Yeah. Things were good in River, back in Sabrefell. Home felt good, I was knockin' in goals... then Treason came for me, I guess. Another step up. You know what? I'm about ready for another."
"... Another move? You mean, abroad?"
"Yeah. Just feel it's about time, you know?"
Georgia bit her lip. "Don't you feel like this league can grow?"
Cheney laughed. "Oh, yeah, for sure. But now that it's beyond the 'learning to walk' stage, 's a gradual process. The league'll last a long time, and life's short. I've just entered my prime, and I don't get long in it."
"... I'd like to stay in Nephara my whole life," said Georgia quietly. "I don't think I could get used to living anywhere else."
"Yeah? Well... that's how I felt at your age. Still, you shouldn't let others dictate your career for you. If you really know you want to stay, then stay. You'll always be the one who knows best."
Georgia nodded. "Thanks, Cheney."
The Treason striker grinned, and leaned back on the bench. "No problem. Now, c'mon - surely you can spare some time for a coffee or something. My treat."
"... Yeah, alright. That sounds good."
"After all, the substitutes got to stick together." Cheney unfolded from the bench, and cracked his knuckles. "Alright, let's go. I know a place..."

Venting Frustrations
The Nepharim that lined up against Orca Bay were, largely, a second-string.
Cheney Bittencourt. Georgia Kite. Gareth Crowley. Karl Finnan, Ulrich Alsatian. Elaine Blackstock pressed into service at rightback. The people who had sat helpless and watched as Kiryu-shi edged out Nephara, genuinely jeopardising the Cormorants' playoff hopes. What could they do but watch?
It was a brutal match to watch for a neutral. God knows what the home fans thought.
The Nepharim wanted nothing more than to vent their frustrations. Fouls were brutally committed, two penalties given away largely through sheer frustration, and both scored. When the Cormorants went forward, though, there was no compromise. They'd built up a head of steam and it was purely a matter of letting loose a withering hail of firepower. Cheney Bittencourt tallied a brace, Kite a hattrick. Crowley, Harper and Stokes all got on the scoresheet as well.
There was no compromise.
And yet, at the end of the day, they were still three points adrift of Kiryu-shi... still. Three. Points. Adrift.
And so, seething with anger straight off a match in which they'd scored more goals in one match than they'd ever done before, equalled their biggest win and biggest overall scoreline, they knew all they'd done was make it so that they could compete with Kiryu-shi on goal difference.
They still needed to win their next three matches. And they still needed Kiryu-shi to lose one.
Kandorith were next. And even with the Cormorants on the warpath, would it be enough?

To the Executive World Cup Committee,

The President of the Nepharim Football Association would quietly disagree with prior, foreign, definitions of what defines a 'chap' - a term which translates best into Nepharim slang as 'lad', 'lass', 'mate', 'Nephie battler' or 'true blue cunt'. We firmly hold that the three tenets of being a 'fine chap', or, to continue the Nepharim equivalency, 'top lad', are as follows;

Item 1. To crush your opponents.
Item 2. To see them driven before you.
Item 3. To hear the lamentations of their fans.

We of the NFA hope that we can see eye to eye on this. We would accept constructive critique on our ideals, though it is likely that it would change precisely nothing, and eagerly await an official response.

Regards,
President M. K. P. M. Rensenbrink

by **Hicana** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 3:16 pm

A Bit of a Hike
Exiled Hicañan Government Relocates to Quebecois Isle

Adam Watson announced in a press conference from Puerto Bartolomé that the Hicañan government was to temporarily relocate to Isle Benoit, fifteen miles off the coast of Sept-Iles, the Quebecois province where an estimated 40% of Hicañan refugees fled to.

Just a week after the complete evacuation of Hicaña and the controversial resulting bombing of their own homeland, the government of Hicaña, lead by Watson, has settled in Isle Benoit and will begin with the recording of Hicañan refugees and their destinations soon. Currently, the only resource they have is a hastily compiled list hours before the evacuation.

"This is an important update in the future of Hicaña," Adam Watson stated. "Hicaña is still a sovereign nation, and operating out of Benoit, which the Quebecois have graciously granted us, we are determined to find futures for our ex-citizens, now refugees."

As Hicaña never technically forfeited land to Gregoryisgodistan, they retain all of their original land, and Watson informed the masses that his goal in his lifetime was to bring settlers back to Hicaña, which the neighboring nations have all agreed to stay out of.

"This is a terrible time for Hicañans," Solean president Jeff Aeris stated in a press conference, "and we will respect their boundaries as they would have ours."

Critics note that Watson's plans all seem to revolve around himself being in power for life, which Watson noted.

"I will, when I am ready, the government is ready, and Hicaña is ready, transfer power," Watson reportedly said, "and neither of the three is ready yet."

Watson said he would reconsider in five years, the classic term limit for Hicañan presidents up until the Miklandian Secession of 2002.

Lord Almighty Gregory could not be reached for comment. Isle Benoit itself is merely 500 square kilometers in size, with five thousand Quebecois already living there.

O'Reilly, Larsson, Sanchez Speak Out Against Gregoryisgodistan

Llamanean president Christopher O'Reilly stated his disapproval of Gregoryisgodistan this afternoon at the North Llamanean Treaty Summit (NLTS) meeting, saying that "The destruction of Hicaña by this belligerent force is unacceptable." O'Reilly, of course, was famously shot in the leg by a Gregoryisgodistani spy early in his first term.

O'Reilly, whose second term is about to end and declined to run for a third term, stated that Gregoryisgodistan should be "ashamed of their actions against the innocent island nations to our southwest."

Sven Larsson, president of the Arendellenske Union and prime minister of Arøndel, also spoke similarly, stating that "Gregoryisgodistan had no business in Hicaña. We weep for the Hicañans today and every day until they reclaim their rightful homeland."

And Neil Sanchez, the leader of the Southwest Isles Coalition, said: "The SIC agrees not to void Hicañan land. We mourn the innocent Hicañan losses and hope to see them reclaim their homeland in my lifetime."

by **The Holy Forden Church** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 3:27 pm

To: Patriarch Nicolaus V of St. Petrus, True Church of Iesus Christus
From: Michael Nicholas, Cardinal of the Multiversal Assembly of Bishops of the Holy Forden Church
Subject: An Invitation to the Ecumenical Council of St. Petrus

In the name of THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT, amen.

Dearest Brother Nicolaus,

I was stunned to hear that every single Bishop of our Church had received a letter from you inviting them to attend your Ecumenical Council of St. Petrus. This caused great confusion in our Church, as no single Bishop may represent the entire Church without the blessing of the Holy Pupá. Normally, this honor is given to the Secretary of the College of Cardinals or the High-Commissioner of Evangelism, but with every single Bishop of our Church being personally invited to the Council, and with no precedent having been set in the past on how to proceed, our Church has had to convene an Extraordinary Multiversal Assembly of Bishops.

An event like this is a massive undertaking, our Church has over a thousand Bishops, and arranging for their travel to our headquarters in Tempala is not something which can be done quickly or cheaply. Nonetheless, we wish to avoid any controversy within our own Church, and as such, the Extraordinary Multiversal Assembly of Bishops will take place, solely to determine who we will send to your Ecumenical Council of St. Petrus. Therefore, I ask for your patience, as it may take another day or two before I can confirm who our representative to your Ecumenical Council of St. Petrus shall be. In talking with my fellow Cardinals, as well as some Bishops who have already arrived here in Tempala, it appears that there is a large amount of support for Cardinal Scott Prince, the Secretary of the College of Cardinals, to be named as our representative.

Yours in CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR,
Cardinal Michael Nicholas

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 3:36 pm

Lord Almighty Gregory Composes 93 Days of Creation Day

Lord Almighty Gregory announced that he has written a song called "93 Days of Creation Day" which will be sung in incremental increments every day from tomorrow, August 5, until Creation Day, November 5. On August 5, everyone in the nation must only sing the first verse, beginning with "On the first day of Creation Day, Lord Almighty Gregory gave to me...." On August 5, they must sing the first verse, then the second, and on. Finally, on Creation Day, they must sing all 93 verses. Of course, Creation Day honors the day in the Year 0000 when Lord Almighty Gregory created the Multiverse. Here is the 93rd verse of the song. All earlier verses are just truncated forms, so we didn't include them.

On the 93rd day of Creation Day, Lord Almighty Gregory gave to me...
93 Slaves beaters beating
92 Pervert chasers dickapitating
91 Executioners beheading
90 Slaves slaving
89 Secret Police Spying
88 Piano Keys made of slaves' bones
87 Enemy Crushers crushing
86 Identity and Tracking Devices
85 Police Officers Arresting
84 Forbidden Word Fruit Things
83 Solar Bombs Dropped
82 Sanctii heathens
81 Republican morons
80 Feministvs Sanctvsterra heroes
79 Pieces of Rule Theriault's dead body
78 Dead Guayabalians
77 Dead Sanctii
76 Dead Costa Lunians
75 million true followers of Lord Almighty Gregory
74 Dead Republicans
73 Dead Alianza Albosians
72 Dead Hicanans
71 Dead Vakolicci
70 Dead Patistanis
69 Dead Jeckish
68 Dead Estenians
67 Dead Drakonians
66 Dead Wolfopians
65 Dead Barangayians
64 Dead Berkish
63 Dead Quebecois
62 Prune Juice Rations
61 Bowls of Gruel
60 Assassins Who Killed King Paulus
59 Assassins Who Killed Consul Piazza
58 Hidden Cameras
57 Something something
56 Nudists castrated
55 tons of Hicanan rubble
54 songs of praise
53 heathens burned
52 Prune Farmers farming
51 Gruel Makers cooking
50 Hero soldiers
49 Hicanan War Veterans
48 Pilots dropping solar powered bombs
47 Slave catchers catching
46 Horse beaters beating
45 Ice Slaves winning
44 Bat Slaves winning
43 Hand Slaves getting liberated
42 Ultimate answers
41 Loyal Friends of Lord Almighty Gregory rewarded
40 Decapitated head to bomb converters converted
39 Bald people executed
38 more heathens burned
37 dead Middleton Valleyians
36 more heathens burned
35 people sensing a theme
34 more heathens burned
33 anthem singers
32 slave attendants
31 Military SuperGenerals
30 Navy SuperAdmirals
29 Air Force SuperAdmirals
28 more lines
27 Greglord Air Flights
26 ways to thank Lord Almighty Gregory
25 heathens burned at WorldVision
24 anthems a day
23 gets you killed
22 And your family
21 Prune Juice bottlers bottling
20 Prune Juice and Gruel rations that are most certainly not laced with mind control drugs
19 Assassins shooting
18 Soldiers invading
17 Days of June until Lord Almighty Gregory's Birthday
16 nations on the Enemy List
15 if you don't count Quebec
14 because we destroyed Hicana
13 because Middleton Valley mysteriously disappeared
12 by the time we get to this verse since Lord Almighty Gregory will have destroyed Nexxus Drako
11 Foot Slaves soccering
10 after we get a red card for killing Prince Andreas
9 After we get another red card for burning his dead body in the middle of the field
8 After we get yet another red card for chopping up his body in the middle of the field
7 People left to beat the Sanctii next time we play them after we get all these red cards
6 our favorite month
5 our favorite day of November because it's Creation Day
4 Sanctii kings smitten
3 Republican Consuls smitten
2 Deadly Assassins
And a multiverse that he made himself!

by **Maklohi Vai** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:25 pm

Lumako Kurukapai reports on MD 11

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:34 pm

OOC: This is a two-part RP of an executioner's day for his execution day.

An Executioner's Tale

"This station is Kwangjangshijang Market. Kwangjangshijang Market. You may exit on the right."
The automated announcement system spoke in its deep, female voice in Korean, before start speaking in French and then English. I ignore the first two languages like usual, and just listen to the last one. It's not like the language of choice matters anyways, for they're all saying the same stuff.
English is my mother tongue, being a descendant of a Vyktoryan family who settled in Halifax back in 1920s, but Korean and French I'm fine with it as well. One of the main things about Quebecois educational system is that whether you are in Nunavut, Newfoundland or Quebec City, you're required to get trilingual education based on those, with fluency in each one of them. I, back in the day, questioned its usefulness, but came to appreciate it later when I went to other countries for holidays. Going twice a year to beautiful Pierre Beach(located in Southwestern Sicoutimont), as well as places like Mastille, Saugeais and etc; French came to be very useful.

I open my eyes again and slowly walk into the platform as the door opened with a loud noise that I could not describe at all. Normally there'd be very few people getting off the station, but due to the live execution going to be held in about 45 minutes, right at the heart of the Market Square, I was surrounded by about twenty times as many people as there'd be. Due to my occupation and status, I had a shortcut route to direct myself right away, instead of having to be stuck with constant movements of people and whatnot. This is one of the privileges the executioners get for their menial but crucial task for the sake of justice. Then, I slowly walked to the end of the island platform and opened the steel door that's locked with password. I slide the numbers down on those 8-number slots in a matter of seconds, before they turned green to show that I've, once again, got the right number. I enter the pathway and walk into the eerie silence of that is the underground hallway in Quebec City.

It took me around 10 minutes of silent marching before I finally arrived at my office. It's been already several weeks since I last worked here, because after all, execution is a heavily-demanding job and the federal labour regulation prevents the executioners to execute more than two people per month, which even then is a bit of stretch and is only used when necessary. So for most of the time I'm free, and with extremely high pay granted for the executioners, I don't really have to find other work. So normally at home, I take care of my elderly parents and my kids, while Brenda's off to her work as a receptionist in one of those old buildings at Old Downtown(Vieux-Quebec).

By now, you may I have guessed why I am doing this job, and I gotta say that you're very much correct. I first took the job when I was 18, just off high school back in Sudbury, where both my parents worked in mines. That summer, just as I was getting myself ready for a new chapter of life Sarnia Tech, a tragedy happened. Father, one of the mining company's up-and-coming businessmen, was beaten up by the local boys. The trio, after beating him up countless of times and breaking lots of shit, left him to die in the driveway, with me being the first person to watch. He was immediately taken to hospital, but it was too late, as he became paraplegic below waist. Now without job and mum constantly sick, I had no option but to abandon my tertiary education.
It was then that my uncle Ryan told me to take up a job offer as an executioner, following suicide of several of its workers. It's already back in '87, but most still do remember this being a huge issue back then, not of the moral reasons but of efficiency and other reasons. I applied for it, did an interview in front of then-Crown Prince Pierre Henri IV, and got hired, being in the job since then.

In my table, there are only three objects in place. One is the very token my uncle gave to me after I got hired: A small stone engraved with that of an angel doing his deed. He said that it's going to be his good-luck charm for the upcoming years of my life serving justice, and that it'll activate the very day I start my work. I was wondering of its potent, but accepted it as a measure of thanks to the man who gave me a job to not only feed all of my family, but also to give me a sense of duty and justice. It's funny how that turned out to be, though for my first execution I got to take care of the very offenders who broke my father. I still remember how I, laughing as crazy as possible, felt as I ended their lives in the very same square at that very freezing Autumn. The feelings of achievement and relish swarmed into my heart like a dose of hookah, as I watched their sufferings and then painful death in front of masses and television. Yes, executions do get televised sometimes, especially when the offence is so undesirable for humans to just ignore. Sometimes those animals deserve that kind of ending, for the same reason why television networks from San Jose Guayabal and Gregoryisgodistan broadcast them live, all the way from Esportiva.

Second of the tokens, meanwhile, is the very picture of my family. There's five people in the picture, which was taken in 2009: On the top row there's me, my wife Brenda, with the lastborn Ryan being carried in my love's arms, while at the bottom row there's my daughter Jasmine and eldest child Simon. Being from a loving family of six children as a child and then teenager, I always embraced the meanings of family and love more than those in the major cities did. They're like my another beings: Through Jasmine's eyes, Simon's heart, Ryan's arms and narrow shoulders, as well as Brenda's charming smile, I often see the different parts of me being incarnated to my loved ones. I can never let them go, nor do stupid things such as trading them away.

Then the last one's a white envelope, with a red ribbon on top of it. I instantly smile as I slice it with my pocket knife, knowing its importance- This envelope holds the list of people to be executed. Sometimes there's just one, while on other cases it'd go up to four to six people. Of course it's rare for the latter to happen, but it does happen. Sometimes those abominable offences are done by mass, needing for such procedure to happen.

Once sliced the envelope, I found a long, coffee-soaked sheet of paper with the sentenced's names:

12th Execution of the Gregorian Year 2017
Master of Ceremonies, Executioner of the Day: Andrew MacKinnon

Criminal of the Day
Justin MacDonald, Eric Boase and Denis Hardinge

Thank god I don't know any of them, I said to myself in relief, once again not being picked to execute someone from Quebec City or Sudbury. Being an executioner is not as easy as it seems to many people. It requires extreme mental strength, as you're in a job of killing someone by the name of justice. It may sound easy, but trust me, it is not. I've seen my fellow executioners succumb to many things, from constant bouts of alcoholism to depression and in worse cases hospitalisation, being victims of poor mental strength. This symptoms can particularly be activated or worsened when someone one knows gets to be executed by that very person, which none of us executioners desire. This is why most, when getting called, are known to be extremely conscientious about it: Often others and I carry a bracelet or lucky charm to prevent such a tragedy happening. This, since being started in early 1990s(don't remember the which year), usually works, which is good......

To be continued

________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOC: A random post added that's set 24 hours before the MD12 match against Sandwich Territories.

Seok Cheon Jang and Ji Choon Kim, both aged men with stature, were talking inside former's office in the QFA Building at Downtown Quebec City. Former was an executive on QFA's Governing Board, looking to be groomed into its President years down the road, while the latter's the legendary Manager of Quebecois NT since World Cup 64. Desperate and in middle of night, they were talking to each other about an important matter, after a massive riot at Quebec City just weeks earlier...

Seok Cheon Jang- What are we going to do with the MD13 game against Sandwich Territories, sir? I don't think the riot last Tuesday will help us when facing them....

Ji Choon Kim- It's easy. We send the same reinforcement as last time when we were banned from entering Nouvel Ecosse.

Seok Cheon Jang- So a bunch of prisoner-slaves from the Gulags back in Islas Canarias? Not that I mind about it, but I do not think that the football association officials will accept this as the proper thing to do so.

Ji Choon Kim- Yes, but I do not think leaving our soldiers out to face some bunch of minnows in their home ground, after a huge riot and refereeing blunder the last time before. Do you want to get them killed, just like how those soldiers did back in Nouvel Ecosse(OOC: well they got killed when they tied the game against Nouvel Ecosse but whatever)?

Seok Cheon Jang- I am by all means not a supporter of that, but that's not something that I'd call a fair play.

Ji Choon Kim- Yes, but remember that very bastard of a referee was not a fair one either as well. He deserved to die, and we all know that.

Seok Cheon Jang- Well I found the execution unnecessarily and of a stupid job done by hometown fans.

Ji Choon Kim- Then you, being in Norrehavnese soil for most of the time, do not know how the fans back home are like. They do not accept losing, and much less a match that’s unfairly taken from them. That’s why Quebec’s also known as the nation of rioters, which ironically fits alongside the glorified title of the Nation of Million Temples. You should be more used to that, because at this rate you’ll face a much harder time transitioning when you someday be the President of QFA, regardless of my status of life and death by then.

Seok Cheon Jang- Then what shall we do? They won't accept our players getting attacked, but I don't think it's fair at all!

Ji Choon Kim- Still, you need to move on with your conscience and just send the goddamn slaves. Alright?

Seok Cheon Jang- Alright then, sir. I’ll notify the rest of the Executive Committee about the news.

by **Schiavonia** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:49 pm

"...and it looks as though the Sloths are going to do it! Another win is on the cards, as they lead Rossana by two goals to one as the clock ticks over into stoppage time!"

"Kev, I know you're sounding enthusiastic, but this is a Rossana team that have won just one game in ten previous to this."

"I know, but we've only won three of our games. That's not better! But it looks as though it could be four now! We can still make the top half of the table!"

"Really?"

"Yes! It is only three points away!"

"And a clump of goal difference."

"Well, there is that."

"And we still have two of the top three to play."

"Well, there is that, too."

"And Eastfield Lodge still have two of the bottom three."

"OK..."

"And this game isn't even over yet! Rossana could still get an equaliser, though Lyku clears that through ball, and Schiavonia start building again..."

"But I still think we can do it! And you said we would before the qualifiers!"

"Yes, but you said you were going to do interviews every matchday, and you haven't."

"I did! They just weren't transcribed! You know the transcriber went away."

"True. But it would take some surprise results for the Sloths to make fourth now. All they can really do now is accumulate points and hope for a good draw next time. And not be put in with the team who has probably had the most unfortunate draws in the last two qualifying campaigns."

"The Sarian aren't in our group."

"I meant Yttribia. And we're going there next."

"Oh."

"And there's the final whistle! Blige and Chester with the goals, Dreschen pulled one back but the Sloths were pretty comfortable."

"Hang on... we're going to Yttribia next?"

"Yes."

"Haven't they just invaded San Jose Guayabal?"

"Um... I'm not aware. I'm sorry, I deal in football, not politics."

"Apart from football politics."

"Well, no. Football administration, not football politics."

"They're the same thing."

"They're not. Politics has genuine influence over people's lives. We just organise a kick about."

"Either way, as head of the Schiavone Football Federation, do you think we're going to be safe in travelling there?"

"Why wouldn't we be? The Guayabalese are our Baptism of Fire host-mates. They're not going to do anything to us. We've not done anything to them, have we?"

"But they might want to do something to the Yttribians."

"But we're not Yttribians."

"No, but the national football team are a symbol of their nation, especially now that they're playing well."

"I'm sure our team will be fine. We will have AORDO security forces travelling with us to keep us safe."

"So a bunch of Starblaydis and Vilitans with big wooden sticks?"

"We're going to be alright. We are peace-loving people who are on the side of loving each other, using diplomacy and reason to avoid confilct and not fighting or hating each other or anything nasty like that. We're going to report on a football match, the team are going to play in one, and then we will return to Schiavonia. Simple."

"Well, if you say so, then I'm sure it will happen."

"Well, I do, and it will."

"Good!"

"Though, may I say... You really are getting good at these interviews."

"Oh, well... thank you!"

"No problem! You're asking the questions that the people listening want to know the answer to!"

"Well, I'm just asking what I want to know about. And I am one of the people, so..."

"Then keep doing it."

"OK. I have another question that I want to know the answer to. Shall I ask you it?"

"Was that it?"

"Was what it?"

"That."

"What?"

"The question you asked. Or any of the supplementary ones."

"The something mentally ones?"

"They weren't... OK, yes, you can ask me it."

"Where can I get some donuts from in this place?"

"Kev..."

"What? I just thought that, as you are in charge of the Federation, and the Federation run the stadium..."

"OK, so, getting there, but still a long way to go."

"Is that your summary of the Schiavone performance tonight?"

"NO! That's you!"

"Ah... Oh! So that's progress, then!"

"Yes!"

"Ah, great! Thank you!"

"Again, no worries."

"But where are the donuts?"

Jenny sighed.

"Seriously! I want their sugary goodness!"

"OK, listeners, we'll be back after this short break. While we sort Kev out..."

by **German American States** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:42 pm

The Friday Football Column
By Marc Usinger

The future seems bleak for Die Maschine after dropping first the first draw and then the first loss of the cycle. The team has played very well after the disappointment losing in the Round of 16 last year in the Campionato. The plan to incorporate new players off the bench to get them ready for after the veterans is working as well. Yet, the team is just ahead of the Syndicatians by two points. It proves again what the mental issues of the national team is: getting overconfident with leads.

It happens all the time with the squad, and has happened in the past. World Cup 66 seems familiar, with the Eagles coming out of nowhere to lead the group against superior talent. And then, in the final matchday, falling out of qualifying for the World Cup. The CE9 final against Taijan, a lead squandered in that match by a cocky Ruentenbacher side, confident they would take home Esportiva's largest prize. The CE10, losing in the Round of 16 to a far less talented team.

This pattern is repeated throughout our country's footballing history. It may seem odd to a lot of people, our fans included, why we show so much heart and determination up against tough challenges but wilt in the face of easy ones. An odd conondrum, maybe we think the worst of it is behind us only to realize that there are more matches to be played. Needless to say, there has been some drama added on to this falling in the standings.

With only a few matches to go, it seems a rift in the team is appearing. Young talent Xhaká, who is known for his large mouth and crazy off the field antics, has now claimed the impossible. He has indeed gone too far now. In the wake of the 1-1 draw last night, he claimed that Konrad Meisenhal's goal-get this- was his, even though he was not even on the pitch. It raised several eyebrows as he told of how he beat the opponent's defense, roulette and making sharp turns in an unassisted goal-line to goal-line run. Manager Karl Rheinhart "had no comment" but he needs to take a stance on this. For Xhaká to become a well developed player in the future, Rheinhart must show him that he cannot let these antics continue. If Rheinhart does not do anything, I would like to think the RFB would do something to put Xhaká in his place.

The team's qualifying campaign will likely come down to the match after the next against the Syndicatians. This matchup was inevitable from the start, as both teams are the best talent in the group. The match will be played in a demillitarized ground in a minor Syndicatian city, it remains determined if Ruentenbachers will be allowed to attend, although the ban on Ruentenbachers traveling to the Syndicate stands. Rheinhart will probably put forward the A-team for this match, but for that match to be a bit easier, they have to win their next match. If Die Maschine, God forbid, get knocked out of first place, it is likely that they will be able to grab a playoff spot, as they have had a stellar record this cycle.

Some new news out of the RFB today concerning potential senior team players. Rumors are coming out of the federation that they are greately interested in calling up Gruenwalder striker Sammi Aukmann and FK Keltischdorf winger Tomas Song at the start of the CE. Aukmann impressed many last year, leading the mostly defensive Gruenwalder in goals, and Song proved invaluable last year as he was able to guide Die Kleebatter to the top of the table. Unfortunately, he was out for most of the year with a broken leg, an injury that appears healed now, but took him out of commission for most of the year. It will be interesting who makes it onto the CE squad and who gets cut.

However, all eyes will be on the next few matches to see if the Ruentenbachers can win their first group in federation history.

Until then,
Marc Usinger

by **Eura** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:43 pm

Dear Isaac the Prince Imperial, Honorary President of The Imperial Club, my old pal,

What does it mean for a Euran chap to be a chap? A question for the ages, my dear friend Isaac. How are you by the way? I did most soundly enjoy your spiffing assembly of the club when the Euran national team last visited your realm. I felt most welcome as a guest. Now, returning to the topic of debate; a chap is a manner of being, of the character of the nation's superior classes, and not just a description of norms of fashion and manner. To be a Euran chap does of course necessitate good fashion sense, taste and of course the finest manners in front of both ladies and gentlemen. However one must possess more than these bare prerequisites to complete the path to Euran chappery.

Firstly, one must firstly be a talented scholar of the English tongue, the most civilised tongue of all.

Secondly, one must be physically able. Those who submit to such derisory conditions such as the gout or incontinence in their latter years may of course be excused, especially if they have already proven themselves to be quite capable chaps. Otherwise, one must be able to conduct a good expedition, perhaps a march across any manner of temperate terrain.

Thirdly, one must be sound of mind. While any Euran chap should be able to appreciate the value of a talented eccentric, one must still avoid becoming a deviant.

Fourthly, one must possess an appreciation of history. If one does not understand the true origins of chapdom, and the history of the greater Euran nation, they are doomed to savagery and miscommunication.

Fifth, one must appreciate the natural division of society based upon the system of class. The current state of affairs exists to ensure that Eura is ruled with a steady hand by the educated few to guide the unwashed many to a brighter and better future. Such power has been bequeathed to the noble and wealthy sphere because of the past troubles of this somewhat socialistic, atheistic and federalised nation state. The class of middle class intellectuals cannot be trusted due to their inherent nature as sanctimonious buffoons.

Sixth, one must love their glorious land of Eura. It is the natural state of affairs that Eura is a land of plenty and a land of valour, which is set above the mere savage and uncivilised mass of other nations that populate the multiverse. The horse nation nonsense and of course those magical countries are indeed a rung lower on the order, perhaps bested only by the filth of the Mytanar backalley culture. Below Eura rest second rate, democratic powers such as our main trifecta of allies; Polar Islandstates, Cotdelapoms and Astograth once it dismisses this fascistic phase of administration.

On this concluding note, now that I have expressed my view as to what it is to be a chap in Eura which I'm sure the majority in my country would disagree with due to their uncivilised barbarism (relative of course as this is the worlds greatest country), I must make a query. At what point will the divine powers that be, who of course are residents of a nation such as yours that could be considered on the level of Eura due to its holy nature, ensure that the barbaric nations of the Licentian Isles and Milchama desist from harming the holy path of our crusading footballers to the chaps tournament? Their continued impertinence is an embarrassment and most inconvenient to the cause of chappery everywhere. Should Eura fail to qualify for this World Cup, I fear Armageddon and chaos as the cause of the chap will suffer in Eura, the only country which possesses the ability to preserve international stability and tranquility through its benevolent and kind gaze.

Once this minor issue has been resolved, I will be happy to meet you over a glass of crisp, er, water, if you know what I mean my old boy!

Yours faithfully (with an emphasis on the "faith"),

Major Bartholomew Bartley IV
Head of the Bartley House
Most definitely not an official of the Euran Football Association
Eura

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