World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

by **West Zirconia** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:03 pm

West Zirconia's schedule for the 50th World Cup has been announced. In a marathon 11-team qualifying group, they remain once more third seeds. The eight stadia which hosted the previous competition's qualifiers are retained for this campaign.

The schedule is as follows:

MD1: Pays de Horreur (away)
MD2: The Han Empire (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
MD3: Orlkjestad (away)
MD4: Tentalon (at Marc Edwards Memorial Stadium, Redwood)
MD5: Seven Castles (away)
MD6: Bye
MD7: Burchadinger (at STORMGroup Stadium, Mort Park)
MD8: The Great Sandy Desert (away)
MD9: Qazox (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
MD10: Orange Faiths (away)
MD11: Pokemonman (at Williamson Park, Banks)

MD12: Pays de Horreur (at STORMGroup Stadium, Mort Park)
MD13: The Han Empire (at Hyeondae Munhwa Football Stadium, Gyeongdo)
MD14: Orlkjestad (at Birchfield, Markham)
MD15: Tentalon (away)
MD16: Seven Castles (at The Glen, Bradley)
MD17: Bye
MD18: Burchadinger (away)
MD19: The Great Sandy Desert (at KPM Stadium, Snaith)
MD20: Qazox (at Qazian Memorial Stadium II, Qazox City)
MD21: Orange Faiths (at City of Houghton Stadium, Houghton)
MD22: Pokemonman (away)

Coach Chris Irwin said of the draw, "It's going to be tough, with Qazox and the Han there. Still, a couple of good upsets and we'll be there." Captain Ben Phillips added, "Any eleven men can beat any other eleven men on the day. Whether we can do it twenty times is another thing, but we'll certainly give it our best shot."

by **F1-Insanity** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:03 pm

F1-Insanity Certifieds handed difficult draw
Head coach Camara welcomes the challenge
Baptism of Fire winners looking forward to World Cup debut

Group Two
1. F1-Insanity (=140)
2. West Pocono (56)
3. Great Lenin (=184)
4. Silver Beach (UR)
5. HappyFreedom (=255)
6. Isslemere-Nieland (39)
7. Secristan (27)
8. East Lithuania (UR)
9. Blouman Empire (90)
10. Northern Bettia (74)
11. Cafundéu (=10)

Match schedule
MD01: H - Great Lenin
MD02: A - Secristan
MD03: H - Isslemere-Nieland
MD04: A - HappyFreedom
MD05: H - Northern Bettia
MD06: A - Silver Beach
MD07: BYE
MD08: H - West Pocono
MD09: A - Cafundéu
MD10: H - East Lithuania
MD11: A - Blouman Empire

Matchdays 12-22 are these fixtures reversed.

Head coach statement
The head coach of the F1-Insanity Certifieds, Brian Camara, released the following statement regarding the World Cup draw: "It looks like an interesting and difficult draw, purely based on rankings we should finish 6th or 7th in this group but we will of course be looking to do better than that. And straight off the bat, we get to play Great Lenin again. We should have beaten them during the Baptism of Fire but we are happy to get to play them once again, or rather, twice again.

It does seem pretty much like a mini league, this group. Twenty-two matchdays with two byes, twemty matches in total. You will be asking, who are the favorites for this? Well I'd love to say that it was us, the reigning Baptism of Fire champions, but to be perfectly honest, Cafundéu and Secristan ought to be contesting the top slot in this group. For us, finishing in the top two has to be classed 'very unlikely' but what is the point of competing if you are not going to try? We'll do our damndest to get through even though we realize that we are up against it.

I call on our fans to purchase the 10-match home games card, because if you do that, you only have to pay for 8 matches, and if you cannot attend a match, you are allowed to pass your card on to a friend or neighbour, or so I've been told by our Football Association. All matches will of course be held at the Paladin Stadium in Sid City, which is the football (soccer) capital of our country.

And as for press conferences, I will no longer answer 'live' questions from moronic journalists, so all journalists from F1-Insanity will have to submit written questions no later than 30 minutes before the press conferences."

F1-Insanity Certifieds home games
All ten of F1-Insanity's home games will be played at the 80,000 capacity Paladin Stadium, located on the East Bank in Sid City.

The pitch in Paladin Stadium has just been renewed, and the entire stadium, despite being relatively new, has been thoroughly checked for any small faults that might have been. Where necessary, the paint has been refreshed. Entries and exits have been doublechecked and broadened a bit so the entire stadium could, in case of emergency, be evacuated in less than 15 minutes without the risk of people getting hurt in a stampede.

Security will be provided by the Personal Standard of Father Mulcahey Division, the premier elite unit of F1-Insanity's land forces. Air travel will be forbidden in a 15 mile radius around Paladin Stadium, starting two hours before the game and finishing one hour after. Traffic will be allowed in and out of Sid City Airport under Air Force escort. Any planes or other airborne units not obeying the strict instructions in force will be dealt with in the severest way possible/necessary.

Television broadcasting
All matches will also be broadcast live on F1-Insanity Sports Network, but Sid City will be blacked out if the matches are not sold out. Though, there is little risk of that happening, as the FA have already sold over 40,000 10-match home game cards. So if you want to see the Certifieds, or any of their opponents at Paladin Stadium, you'd better be quick. Otherwise, its the F1-Insanity Sports Network for you, they too have a great deal on PPV, including the away games. So go and check that out too.

First opponent: Great Lenin
Yes, Great Lenin, again. We remember that we drew against them in the group stage of the Baptism of Fire. The final result of that game was 1-1, Aaron Humes did put the Certifieds 1-0 up before half time but Kalashnikov equalised with less than twenty minutes to go. It is still a given really that F1-Insanity frowns upon communism or anything that really resembles it, and so there will be some bad blood and the Certifieds will certainly want to beat this team. What we mean to say is, how on earth can anyone think that this 'Lenin' was at all 'great'? Oh well, we'll have to do the answering of that question on the pitch. See you all on match day 1!

We are Certified! We are Insanity!

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:48 pm

The Gazzette Sports

Tough groups for both teams, no doubt!

Group Five
1. Ad'ihan (14)
2. Bears Armed (Mainland) (23)
3. Uiri (37)
4. Swartaz (52)
5. Eastfield Lodge (73)
6. Euroslavia (118)
7. Balida Minor (140)
8. Obrenovacia (=193)
9. Copremesis (263)
10. Den Reidpethe Cinneadh (UR)
11. An Blascoad Mór (UR)

Well, this is the qualifying group that the national team of Eastfield Lodge will be participating in, and in true fairness, it doesn't look a good group to play in. We may be 5th highest ranked, but we've only played one of these teams before: Bears Armed (Mainland), the team that knocked us out of the competition last time round. So, we'll be looking for revenge, a revenge that will most certainly be sweet. Two unranked teams are in the mix, so they should be easy meat, but still there aren't any top ten teams in there.
And for those interested, here is the (hopefully complete) mammoth World Cup Schedule:

Pre-qual 1: vs. The Babbage Islands (Parliament Stadium, Lodgertia)
Pre-qual 2: vs. Toiletdonia (Dillvill Park, north of country)
MD 1: @ Uiri
MD 2: BYE
MD 3: vs. An Blascoad Mór (Parliament Stadium)
MD 4: @ Copremesis
MD 5: vs. Bears Armed (Mainland) (Dillvill Park)
MD 6: @ Den Reidpethe Cinneadh
MD 7: vs. Obrenovacia (Parliament Stadium)
MD 8: @ Ad-ihan
MD 9: vs. Swartaz (Dillvill Park)
MD 10: @ Balida Minor
MD 11: vs. Euroslavia (Parliament Stadium)
Mid-qual 1: vs. Burchadinger (Parliament Stadium)
Mid-qual 2: @ Sarzonia
MD 12: vs. Uiri (Dillvill Park)
MD 13: BYE
MD 14: @ An Blascoad Mór
MD 15: vs. Copremesis (Parliament Stadium)
MD 16: @ Bears Armed (Mainland)
MD 17: vs. Den Reidpethe Cinneadh (Dillvill Park)
MD 18: @ Obrenovacia
MD 19: vs. Ad'ihan (Parliament Stadium)
MD 20: @ Swartaz
MD 21: vs. Balida Minor (Dillvill Park)
MD 22: @ Euroslavia
Post-qual 1: vs. Westmeadow Tavern (Dillvill Park, so both teams have home advantage)
Post-qual 2: @ The Ursine Northlands

So, in total, this makes it a full 26 matches to be played in the short span of a month, and this is just if we don't qualify, because in the unlikely event we do, the players will be worn out even more.
If you were looking for the Westmeadow Tavern report, please see page 3, article continued on page 2.

by **Silver Beach** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:10 pm

the schedule for the WCQ matches 1-11 have been confirmed

matchday 1: at home vs. Secristan venue: Justinian II field
matchday 2: Isslemere-Nieland in Isslemer-Nieland
matchday 3: at home vs. Happy Freedom venue: Justinian II field
matchday 4: Northern Bettia in Northern Bettia
matchday 5: BYE WEEK
matchday 6: at home vs. F1-Insanity venue: Justinian II field
matchday 7: West Pocono in West Pocono
matchday 8: at home vs. Cafendu venue: Gold Oil Field
matchday 9: East Lithuania in East Lithuania
matchday 10: at home vs. Blouman Empire venue: Justinian II field
matchday 11: Great Lenin in Great Lenin

Peter Morath: "We have a goal and we intend to reach it. We want qualification at all costs, and we expect to qualify."

by **Cassadaigua** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:27 pm

Shannon’s Space

Good morning, Cassadaigua, it is I, Shannon Myers, your friendly team blogger for the World Cup 50 effort, but if you have been following the Women’s World Cup, you already knew that I had been given the reigns of giving you the inside scoop of everything that has to do with our soccer team! First, I have a strange but true story to tell you. Since in the Women’s World Cup we played two teams of bears, one of which beat us and the other we beat, a few of us decided to head out into the woods and see if there were either any Bears Armed immigrants we didn’t know about, or if our bears could play just as well. Wouldn’t the world just do a double-take if they saw us field a bear also? This experiment however, failed badly. So there we were, and we noticed our first bear. We threw a soccer ball at it to see what it would do, but he was so big that the contact of the ball didn’t seem to phase him or her in the slightest. It wasn’t until Erica Lambert yelled “shoot!” did we get noticed. However, the bear did not seem to be in the mood to play soccer as it began to run towards us. Given that it had completely ignored the ball and that we did not have another we did not take its charge towards us as wanting to play a game of soccer. Fortunately, we had brought lunch, and decided that we would let the bear have it instead so we threw it at it, and thankfully it just seemed that he was a little hungry and that our lunch would suffice. Now we have cleared that up, bears in Cassadaigua do not play football. We had heard that Bears Armed was the only place in which bears could play but we had to be all "let’s see what happens" about it! Thankfully we survived unharmed!

So it is World Cup 50 time, and we are ranked as the 22nd best team in the nation following our great run, being just a penalty kick away from advancing to the World Cup 49 semifinal. We got real hot at the right time, and coach Pappas certainly showed that he still has it after having been let go by his home nation of Peisandros. Alexander’s successes were also great for the Men’s Right’s movement, in particular Male Equality Now. MEN President Phillip I. Grant for the first time is truly happy with the makeup of our team, even if we continue to be all female. Men’s Rights and over male equality have improved in Cassadaigua thanks to sports. Our World Bowl 8 team winning a football championship with about 40% men helps, and our hockey team which is currently in the semifinals has about 30% men and that helps too. I don’t know if you will ever see a Cassadaigua where the man will say that he has the same kind of rights as a woman, but we have never been this close to obtaining it. By the way MEN was very happy with the efforts of CASE (Cassadagan Association for Soccer Excellence) to see if we would be allowed to send a men’s team to the Women’s World Cup given the nature of our culture. That was rejected and even if CASE just did it for publicity it certainly worked out.

In my next blog, I will talk about the group and schedule and ramble out a bunch of cliches to you about what we need to do qualify. For now I have to say that I am really happy to see these nations returning to the World Cup? Ariddia?! Are you flippin’ kidding me?! I’ve grown up never seeing Ariddia play. Just read about them in my history book and as a young female, admired what they had been able to do. But they left the World Cup long before any Cassadagan, including the great Courtney Ferguson, had a chance to play them. Well we probably are not going to actually play them in this, but the fact that they are there and that we can watch them should suffice just fine. There are a bunch of other returnees, even one that wears pink! That would be Dorian and Sonya. Andossa se Mitrin Vega is another, those two are together in Group 14 and will be playing with Valanora and Newmanistan. Why do the Rockets get to have all the fun?! There are some other returnees like Sel Appa or a nation that will immediately precede us alphabetically, Casari. There’s probably some others too and I think it’s very cool to see them back. Since it is World Cup 50, the history of this beloved Cup will be in play a lot more, and it is probably what has motivated Ariddia and others to come back. Well that’s all for this blog, in my next I will talk about our group a lot more.

by **Cafundeu** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:43 pm

CALDAS TO WRITE ONLINE BOOK FOR COACHES
Coach of Cafundéu also comments about Monopolists' WC group

news of Folha da Capital - online version

In a press conference earlier today, the new coach of the Cafundelense National Team, Waldenyr Caldas, has commented about the Monopolists' chances in the World Cup, and the expectations surrounding the qualifiers. Caldas was quick to point out the intentions of Cafundéu: "We have to pursuit the title. It may not come, of course, but I won't be satisfied with anything less than to see the team surpassing the Wall Stage". Yes, once again the Wall is mentioned, as winning a quarterfinal game again is one of the main obsessions of the Monopolists, and one needed for the title hopes of Cafundéu. After that, Waldenyr went to comment on the groups, but not without first looking at a short media report just released from Silver Beach, for which he replied: "Ouch, my eyes! Look at Cafundéu's name spelt there, is just atrocious!" Then, after drinking some water in order to calm down, Waldenyr could comment about the group that the Monopolists were put into in this draw, as first seeds, of course: "Easy, easy, easy... hahaha, it feels good. Perhaps this time we won't have as many difficulties as in previous qualifiers. Surely we may drop some points against Secristan, as they play good football and are also excellent people, and maybe... really just maybe, some against Isselmere-Nieland. But the other games are going to be easy for us, especially against the unranked nations... perhaps I'll even field myself in these games, in order to return to play football after so much time." Then, after the reporters pointed out that Waldenyr Caldas was never a professional player, but studied sports' tactics in the university before becoming a coach, he replied: "Er, well, you just love to spoil everything, don't you?"

As much as Waldenyr Caldas is known for his overconfidence and exaggerated comments, some even confusing/insane/controversial, most experts agree with the coach of the National Team. Cafundéu's group really looks easy, with Secristan being a major threat but the only one. Also, Secristan's presence in the group is very positive for the CCFM, as it can plan some meetings between influential citizens of both nations, which always end in good business and a nice chat in the end while eating only the best food prepared by the best chefs. Tickets for the game against Secristan in the Obelisco Monumental will be expensive, and the stadium may not fill out thanks to this CCFM decision... but surely the association will profit. Isselmere-Nieland and West Pocono have the potential, but aren't on the level of the Monopolists. Northern Bettia is a team of the past already, with few chances of having a serious attempt at qualifying. Blouman Empire is battling for intermediate positions. Then comes the new nations. F1-Insanity is just the Baptism of Fire champion, which means it has a team that isn't used to play the best of the world, and can be an easy prey for the Monopolists. As Waldenyr Caldas said: "A good performance in the Baptism of Fire means your team have the potential... but Cafundéu already has the talent, and we are set to win... after all, we played the BoF champions last qualifiers too." The coach then quickly changed the issue when the reporters were about to point out that Cafundéu won one but lost another game against Balida in those qualifiers. Great Lenin is as good as F1-Insanity, probably, and HappyFreedom much weaker. Then the unranked comes, probably the weakest teams of the group, those which will be playing to avoid the last place: East Lithuania and Silver Beach. "These two we should simply crush", said Caldas.

But Waldenyr Caldas was really willing to talk about the online book he is writing, which will feature in a popular sports site during the entire World Cup qualifiers. "Hints for coaching satisfaction" comes in many different chapters, to be released each after one or two matchdays of the World Cup qualifiers. "In these chapters, I'll comment about how to negotiate contracts with clubs, how to have your job recognized, how to prepare strategies, how to keep yourself healthy, how to train the players... and also some of my experiences as a coach, and some personal opinions too. It is going to be a great read, and you simply can't miss it." Waldenyr Caldas' project was helped by many sponsors, which will be also advertising their products after the end of each chapter, one at a time. "Yes, you'll also be able to know about several interesting products in this online book", said Caldas. His words are going to be the centre of Cafundéu's attentions during the qualifiers, while Waldenyr himself is going to make many tests in the Monopolists' squad, in order to select the 23 players that will go to the World Cup if Cafundéu qualifies, something expected to happen, after all.

by **Taeshan** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:40 pm

X Island Inquirer

And well its finally that time of year again. Just days remain until the World Cup qualifying campaign begins and the Purple Knights of Taeshan are looking to finally make it back to the tournament after a long three year absence. Though after years of failure to qualify the Knights will yet again have a very tough road if they hope to make their 4th qualifications, and they will have an even tougher job with an 11 team group and a 20 game campaign, but with that many games anything can happen. The Knights will be playing the following 10 teams as they hope to make it to their fourth finals. Former highly ranked world teams Dorian and Sonya, and Andossa Se Mintrin Vega both back after long absences from the international scene, Obrerour ar Moro, Callidon, Nascar Start and Parks, Las Vegas Gamblers, Newi Cefn Druids, and the only 3 teams that will really have a chance to make the Knights hurt this season, wildcard Kalasion, and the Newmanistani team, and powerhouse world number 4 Valanora.

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:51 pm

=== SOMEWHEREISTONIA ===

continued from the DBC RP series...

Pak Jae-Son woke up the next morning. Oh yeah, for you people just now tuning into this broadcast, we're continuing that story from some other odd non-WCC-related tournament, which was in fact a not-so-independent continuation of the other story before that. Basically, go read the Han RPs from World Cup 49 and DBC12 to figure out where we are (besides the odd ***SOMEWHEREISTONIA*** marker on top here). And if think that this is OOC remark, be corrected, because it was seriously what was on Pak's mind. Weird chap he is...

He woke up primarily because that was what he was thinking about, and so to rid himself of the thought, he took a cold shower. Unbeknownst to him, some SLANI plumber in the middle of the night, switched the building's pipes around so that the cold pipe was in fact imbibing hot water. Still, it woke Pak up and he wasn't thinking about some weird thought. Needless to say, there was a big spot on his back that was burned considerably because of the awe-struck surprise, and you'll be surprised just how much that really made a difference in Pak's morning routines.

The knock came at the door. Pak quickly shuttled himself out of the shower, sporting a towel (to cover himself... he's not a nude aficionado) as he went to answer the door. He peeped into the peephole, to see who was out there. No one...

He started to walk away before he heard the knocking again. He rushed back to see who was there. Again, empty. He would have taken the time to look outside the door (usually, there was a big and tall man standing there, but it's hard to hide yourself when you're big and tall), but he really didn't want to expose himself. Unfortunately, as he was walking away, he heard the knocking again and opened the door to catch the perpetrators in the act. He didn't see anyone in particular, but what he failed to acknowledge that there were children living in the complex (refugees do have children sometimes...) and they were all there waiting for him to come out so they could pummel him with water balloons. Little did he realize that some of these kids had really strong arms.

The balloons popped on him, projecting an odd force that threw him back sufficiently to push him off balance and onto his back. Do we need to remind you that he burned his back that morning? Do we need to tell you what the sound of a grown man who's just landed on a hard surface with a burn on his back sounds like? Right... carry on.

So Pak had a rather horrible morning, compounded by the fact that the gas stove was out again, meaning he couldn't have his tea. And he'd already had the experience of drinking tea cold, so rather than holding out for the awful taste and aroma, he put away the tea and slumped on the chair in the living room area. He realized that he was still sporting a towel in the empty reflection of the TV, and so as he went away to change clothes, he turned on the TV.

"... in other news, the stock of produce plummeted this morning, hurt principally by experts' opinions that this would be a very poor year for harvesting crops. One crop in particular has shown plenty of interest from economists and food connoisseurs alike. To tell you more about this story, we have Grigori Valeks in Qasarian..."

Oh, and by the way, Pak had lived in the country for quite some time, so while he wasn't the foremost expert on the language in Somewhereistonia, he had grown accustomed to the language. He certainly understood enough to listen to the news without subscripts. It was for this reason he took his head off the television for a slight moment (it's hard to put on a shirt without taking away your glance from anything else but a few centimeters' worth of fabric). But through the fabric, he could hear the announcer on TV talk.

"... and it's been really troublesome this year. The winter was really cold, and many places show early signs of winter damage, even on crops that are planted annually. With the ground saturated and cold, the delayed spring thaw is expected to put a crush on your favorite vegetables. The artichokes in particular are expected to be harshly hurt by the late onset of the season. And orchard products are especially expected to turn foul, especially plums. Of all of the fruits and vegetables, analysts expect that plum harvests will be especially hard-hit, with many trees dying out in the frigid winter. Economists believe that this might drive the prices of plums nearly 490%, unless sufficient supply is found from overseas markets. And all of this talk hasn't just hurt the produce; the Farmer's Collective - one of the many companies that organizes the agricultural products in Somewhereistonia saw its stock plummet over 98% over the past week, principally as a result of the poor market conditions. Some analysts and consumer advocacy groups are petitioning the government to get involved and stem the effects of the winter's havoc, while financial watchdog groups insist that the government do its part by staying out of the markets. Rest assured, this year's harvest is expected to be one of the worst on record, and that may translate into higher prices at the grocery store. This is Grigori Valeks, reporting live in Qasarian. Back to you Pamela."

"Right. Makes you kind of glad that there's the extra land we got from Kyrinskaia in the last conflict. More on this in 30 minutes..."

Pak turned off the TV, having paid little attention to the meat and flesh of the news. He really hated that stuff anyway.

MBC Sports

SOMEWHEREODDLYDONEORRATHERNOT - Wherever they were holding this World Cup Group Draw thingy, we weren't there to witness it, and to be frank, we could care less if we were there. We've been to plenty of other ones to know what usually happens, and it really works like clockwork. First of all, the Bostopians would come along in their tanks - usually the Emperor. You'd think that he has better things to do, but apparently, the Parliament in Bostopia usually has some really secret vote going on at the time, so they get him tickets to attend the thing. Anyway, the Septentrionians then surrender to the Bostopian Emperor, before they all crowd out the bar with the Sortherners. Meanwhile, the Elves are all acting graceful in a quite not-so-adolescent-glamour about the whole occasion (they look so cute somethings - it's scary). Then you have the Poet who refuses to upgrade to the 48th Century and insists upon writing upon a stone tablet using a stylus, which often becomes the rage when some asshat from some other random country steals it. The Poet generally restores to defenestration, whether it be a 1093-story building or a underground bunker (why would they have windows in an underground bunker, I haven't the faintest clue, but I'll tell you that people don't fall up either). By the time the whole procession gets, you've got the Cafundelense Directors taxing people out the wazoo, the SLANI backstabbers bribing officials (it hasn't worked for the past 10 cups or so), the occasional waterfowl, and most impressively, a gigantonormous abominable snowman that breathes fire with a tesla coil (I think this is why the Candelariasians also boycott the ceremonies). The snowman melts almost instantaneously though, so I haven't faintest idea why they insist upon that. And once they get the thing underway, the organizer spends about 1093 minutes lecturing the efficacy of various WCC policies, thanking the President (who is never present) for the opportunity to host the tournament. Most people don't stay awake for the whole thing, and instead, the Sorthern coalition in the back of the room will play beer pong or wind-in-the-tunnel (I don't know either) until the Draw gets started.

So this year, we've decided to skip out on the monotonous festivities (they're the same all the time) and get on with the easiest job in the world of relaying information that you can get perfectly fine without reading monstrous BS from other reputable sources and put our fine touch upon it. And this year, we got drawn into Group 10 with Qazox, West Zirconia, some scary country, a burlesque parlor, some sandy country, a tent shop, pokemon traders, a post-1984 Orwellian state, some concrete slabs, and a colorful theocracy - at least, that's what the translations say... Um, so yeah, a bunch of countries we don't recognize (we don't recognize Qazox, but we've seen them enough times to know who they are). Anyway, this will be a very interesting experience, as we're definitely one of the favorites to escape Qualification with Qazox, while West Zirconia will be hard-pressed to escape with (or without) us. But as far as rankings go... we've been upset plenty of times before (MSS sunshine debacle anyone?) so we're sure that Lii Chong-Sun is going to tell us that the team is not going to let complacency an issue. And if he doesn't, Heaven help us.

Anyway, it's still a long way away from the World Cup, but the Han Empire has seen the light at the end of the tunnel. After doing a rather wonderful job of hosting the DBC (them SFA folks said it, so it must be true!), the Han Empire feels a little more comfortable about showing off the pride of the Han Empire. And if anyone's gotten a sane cartographer to reveal the truth, the Han Empire has gotten a lot bigger. As in, we've-got-new-territories bigger. The pride of these new territories is most certainly Yangseo, the de facto capital of Mallacca. Situated at the tippy-tip of the Mallacca Peninsula, this somewhat-island-somewhat-mainland metropolis had been a focal center of overseas trade from the Han Empire; unfortunately, the Gyeimyo Calamity forced the war over here, and with the Han taking a more pro-active stance in protecting its neighbors, Mallacca was granted an Imperial grant to establish a Regional government and a permanent Legation at the Imperial Assembly (newly constructed in Gyeongju). Despite the destructive attention that the war brought to the city, Yangseo escaped mostly unscathed (mostly because boats can't fight on land... unless they're Bostopian U-tanks [underwater tanks]... there's something wrong with them...). And so the Imperial Government has decided to open World Cup 50 Qualification at Yangseo, with the hope that the city can become an Imperial beacon to the West (after all, it's in the name).

Oh, right. Time for tea and crumpets.

Goal Scorers
You're reading this because we're so SLANI and godmoddish that we've scored goals before Qualification has even begun? GO HOME AND FEED YOUR LAMPS!

ooc: oh crap, we did sign up Nellietopia...

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by **Valladares** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 4:41 pm

Valladares Sports Net

WORLD CUP 50 QUALIFYING ROUND - Valladares placed in Group 11

STADIA FOR WC QUALIFYING MATCHES CONFIRMED

METROPOLIS (VP) - After the draw that decided the quallifying groups for World Cup 50, the Valladar Football Association members met today at the VFA headquarters in Cerro, to decide the stadia for the qualifying matches. The rivals for Valladares this time will be: Dancougar (5), The Macabees (31), Sargossa (36), Mantwenic (71), Schiavonia (97), Die Adler (=166), Royalsoldiers (=209), San Giorgio a Cremano (=266), Sel Appa (UR) and Glynorhan (UR).

After the meeting held today, the VFA chose ten stadia across the nation to host Valladares' matches in this qualification stage. Also, the venue for the Post-Qualifying match agreeded between Valladares and Schiavonia was also decided.

And this is the fixture for Valladares' matches in this tough Group 11:

by **Jeru FC** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 4:42 pm

Ailill Ó Riagáin of SN (the Jeru FC coach) with Princess Shay Sasha Dallas ...

Ailill: There you are. You got our group draw?
Shay: Yeah, but it's on the Internet. Anyone can get it.
Ailill: The army firewall is blocking the World Cup web site the moment.
Shay: Why?

Ailill: Apparently there's pornography on it. I think something is really wrong with that firewall. The World Cup is being run by Monks and blue people, not Jeruselem and SN.
Shay: Nevermind, I got what you wanted

Group Four
1. Connar Republic (103)
2. Montebank (UR)
3. Whirl Islands (155)
4. Gordon Bay City (53)
5. Assyanm (=209)
6. Kosovoe (25)
7. Kulverint (78)
8. Shilohrod (240)
9. Jeru FC (8)
10. Iles Arctiques (UR)
11. The Babbage Islands (34)

Ailill: Well, that looks good.
Shay: Better than ours.
Ailill: Yes, I'm happy. The boys should be too.
Shay: How are you supposed to plan a World Cup without proper Internet.

Ailill: I'll manage.
Shay: So, who do you think is the big threat?
Ailill: The colourful folk from Kosovoe but also those islanders. Gordon Bay City cannot be dismissed as you know.
Shay: Yes, we know all about them.

Ailill: Well, I have to back to plan my campaign now.
Shay: All you need is on the web site.
Ailill: You mean the one which I'm blocked from.
Shay: Yes, that one.

Ailill: Actually, it is going to hard to plan without that info.
Shay: Why don't you give my Mum a ring? She's the Jeruselem FA president. She has influence.
Ailill: You're a Princess, you can ask the stupid army to unblock the web site,
Shay: Ask your boys, I'm sure they look at porn all the time. They know how to get around filters.

Ailill: I don't want to get into trouble with my employers.
Shay: I'm come with you then.
Ailill: I don't get anything done without a tonne of paperwork.
Shay: So how are you expected to plan a World Cup without knowing the basics.

Ailill: I don't know, but I need access to that site.
Shay: I'll go demand access for you.
Ailill: Thanks, otherwise we'd have no World Cup for Jeru FC.
Shay: What are the boys doing now?

Ailill: Oh, looking at dirty pictures of you on the Internet.
Shay: I really don't think that firewall is working.

by **Sorthern Northland** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:01 pm

Beningrad Morning Star

Ó Cuillinn's role questioned following draw incidents

The Sorthern Northland Football Association has admitted that it may need to look into the suitability of Eoghan Ó Cuillinn's role as the Sorthern representative at World Cup draws in the future following his involvement in a number of incidents at the World Cup qualifying draw in Avidia, Krytenia last night.

Ó Cuillinn - who has represented the SNFA at draws since the draw for the World Cup 45 qualifiers and seemingly done little else - has been quick to dismiss questions about his behaviour at the draw as “a plot drawn up by imperialist warmongers” before going on to claim that he had “done nothing wrong. Great fun was had by everyone”.

Representatives -in particular Septentrionia's Nicolas Germain who claimed “Où est la poutine?”- at the draw from other nations however reported seeing Ó Cuillinn playing with non-safety matches for long periods of the draw whilst also claiming that he either did start of attempted to start fires inside the Guidhall's main hall, on the street outside when the Guildhall was evacuated, on the Guildhall's roof and also set light to Nethertopia's representative Dries Pannekoek as well as Bostopia's Emperor Boston after he forget to get ketchup following a raid on a lock fish & chip shop.

SNFA chairman Fionntan Ó hEadroman had been expected to attend the draw having been in Avidia earlier in the day to announce plans for a giant piss-up organised by the SNFA to celebrate the fiftieth World Cup. He is however understood to have spent the evening in Ousevale with Ousevale Borough's three Sorthern players, Piran Hean, Roparzah Hoëdic and Shawn Hill preparing for the World Cup 50 celebrations, something which he claims was always the plan.

Speaking about Ó Cuillinn's actions at the draw Ó hEadroman noted, “It it totally unacceptable for a member of staff with whom we have entrusted the responsibility of representing Sorthern Northland to go about setting fire to heads of state. Particularly ones of nations we occasionally begrudgingly get on with slightly. Emperor Boston may have made plenty of mistakes but that he doesn't mean he should be set on fire. Unless he stole Eoghan's pack of jammy dodgers that he was going to share, which is entirely plausible”.

Ó hEadroman did however go on to say that Ó Cuillinn had redeemed himself somewhat “by showing blatant contempt to the Somewhereistonian representative, Ton O'Louts, or something like that, and by managing to blag a couple of bottles of rather fine double malt whisky from the Weegie representative”.

by **Qazox** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:41 pm

(ooc: YAY! Finally got away from The Fanboyists! :rofl:

)

WORLD CUP 50 Coverage

15 groups, 11 nations in each group, 2 Hosts (Krytenia & The Holy Empire)= 167 nations attempting to win the 50th World Cup. 135! of those nations will not even advance out of the group stages, 9 from Qazox' group alone won't make the trip to either Krytenia or The Holy Empire. So let's find out who the first 10 nations are that will attempt to keep Qazox from making that trip and winning the title are:

SCHEDULE:
MD1: BYE DATE
MD2: vs. Orange faiths
MD3: @ Pokemonman
MD4: vs. Pays de Horreur
MD5: @ The Han Empire
MD6: vs. Orlkjestad
MD7: @ Tentalon
MD8: vs. Seven Castles
MD9: @ West Zirconia
MD10: vs. Burchadinger
MD11: @ The Great Sandy Desert
MD12: BYE DATE
MD13: @ Orange faiths
MD14: vs. Pokemonman
MD15: @ Pays de Horreur
MD16: vs. The Han Empire
MD17: @ Orlkjestad
MD18: vs. Tentalon
MD19: @ Seven Castles
MD20: vs. West Zirconia
MD21: @ Burchadinger
MD22: vs. The Great Sandy Desert

All Qazox' Home games will be played at Qazian Memorial Stadium II, Qazox City. Capacity: 100,052

At first glance, there are at least 4 teams we've never heard of (Tentalon, Seven Castles, Orange faiths, and Orlkjestad); 2 teams we've heard of but don't know much about (Pays de Horreur & Burchadinger), 3 teams that we have played before and done well against (West Zirconia, Pokemonman, and The Great Sandy Desert), and one team that we've struggled against (The Han Empire/Daehanjeiguk).

The Pheonix are heavy favorites to advance out of this group, with games against The Han Empire expected to be among the toughest in the group, though trips to West Zirconia, Burchadinger and The Great Sandy Desert will be tough as well.

We leave you with this day 200 years ago in Qazoxian History...

"One year ago, on February 22nd, 1774; Allen K. Tiller, my predececessor as President of Qazox, passed away. Upon his death, he left his estate to his foundation, the Tiller Foundation for Peace, with the hope that the greater Q Continuum community will strive for peace. In his honor, the foundation created the Tiller Award for Peace, to be awarded to the person, persons or organization who best espouses the goal of regional peace. It is my distinct pleasure and honor to present the first Tiller Award for Peace, to the Southern Continuum Alliance of PoolShrimpers and Piscodemons. The SCAPSP, founded shortly after those nations gained independence in 1737, has prevented tribal conficts in the region from engulfing those nations and last year both nations have all but eliminated the old tribal rivalries and forged a new peace amongst the remaining native tribes. The Tiller Foundation for Peace will award a sum of 300,000 zaqs to the SCAPSP to continue their efforts in that region." Craig Giddings

by **The Mice of Miceland** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:44 pm

NARF!

The National Association of Recreational Football would lead the mice back into the World Cup. After many years of absence from the world footballing scene their international skills and infrastructure were severely lacking Miceland National Stadium that was once the pride of the nation and could hold an unlimited number of people (and mice) in attendance at any match. Of course over time the stadium became dilapidated and the magic that allowed the unlimited attendance did so too causing the stadium to become less of a stadium and more of a reality bending death trap.

It was clear if Miceland was once again going to join the ranks of the footballing nations in the world then something drastic had to be done, they could no longer rely on one single stadium for their footballing needs. They needed s mechanism for creating stadiums all over the nation quickly. From Mouse Central to Fieval Bay to Underhill, all over the nation they needed decent modern facilities for hosting home games. After some initial inquiries in regards to some of the greatest mouse artificers in Miceland there was a collaboration between Soon EarthMouse, Graham DealMouse and Diedre ArchitectMouse.

They were able to construct and fashion a magical artifact so ingenius and with relative ease that they could be created and deployed all over Miceland with ease, compared to at least normal construction processes. After they finished fashioning the first of these artifacts it looked odd. It looked simply as possible as a relatively large kidney bean. Like those in the story of Jack and the beanstalk but instead of a magical beanstalk a magical stadia grew in it's place. Each stadia looked Identical apart from big splashes of red on the roof of each stadium identifying it's name and location.

They looked like this (this photo was taken before the red name/location appeard):

And then finally the Draw for the group draw had begun, being the lowly unranked nation that they were Miceland had practically no chance to progress through to the World Cup, especially when only the top of a group of 11 were going to do so, but that didn't mean they weren't going to play their hearts out.

The Copa Rushmori had shown tremendous weaknesses in the side but there were also glimpses of greatness in the squad, showing what they are possible of doing in football. However it was going to be a hard slog before they were able to consistantly perform and be any real major threat.

There wasn't much point in going through the group of the 10 other nations that they would have to compete against the only teams that they had any real knowledge of were the Yaforites and those from Candalaria and Marquez and in any case they were by far and away going to run roughshot over the mice. Though it's a good thing mice in general are used to that treatment from humans.

by **Aguazul** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 9:53 pm

La Verdad

"Cincuenta" is a really fun word to say.

Eyebrows, shoulders raised at Sanchez callup

The national team's World Cup 50 roster has been announced, with mild changes here and there from the third-place team in the previous Cup of Harmony. With Estudiantes de Íguen's defensive scheme meeting real if quite begrudged success, Vedillo Bazán has been called up to keep the bench warm as third goalkeeper. The starting midfield remains unchanged, as it has from the beginnings of the national team; the next two years will all but certainly be their last cycle as a unit, but they're hoping to go a step or two farther. Gunsedal Cisneros, made (in)famous by Alianza Ciruelas' (over)exciting Globe Cup run, has already signed abroad in Somewhereistonia and will be hoping to prove his worth on the international stage.

And then comes the defense. Olivar Bravo, the other player in the Ciruelas-Qasarian City deal, has ousted an aging Pitin Rojas from the starting eleven. Despite their shaky moments here and there, Chago Villalobos and Anbessa Unzues have hung on to their starting spots despite José Manuel Poblano knocking on the door--largely because, after him, things really just drop off quite a lot.

In all honesty, Aguazul shouldn't have to worry about an eighth defender. There are more than enough options in the midfield and on the attack for Cristian Delgado to call up, say, a 3-5-2 should the need arise; such a formation, with Emilio Guaman replacing Otoniel Sepúlveda, is likely to be tested in games against poorer teams. With Aguazul third seeds of what appears to be an internationally-unprecedented eleven teams (the national team will play more games in this qualifying campaign then our club sides play in a season!), there should be plenty of opportunities for such a formation. Yet, perhaps with visions of days when a more defensive setup might well be necessary, Delgado has scoured the rosters for reliable wingbacks who won't be injured when they're needed.

And look who he's dug up; only Rocío Sanchez, sister of midfielder Pedro and, well, female. The presence of women in Aguazuleña teams is nothing new, mind you; from Araceli Sert to Ilsinha, including women has proved an economical choice when it comes to deepening the talent pool and finding talent willing to work for cheap (except the annoyingly rant-prone Yaforite type). Sanchez' callup, likely to be a temporary stopgap lasting only a tournament or two, has so far drawn as many sighs as criticisms. The Always Right Bautista Texidor summed up the national mood by describing Sanchez' inclusion as "a disgrace, a crying shame, and...and...gosh, we really don't have any good wingbacks, do we?"

Aguazul begin their campaign away in Tyrrin, second seeds in group nine. The group has been called easy by international standards; Delgado seemed ebullient when speaking of the team's chances, but then again he's quite often ebullient. Other teams to watch for in the group include first seeds Kelssek and fourth seeds Delaclava, as well as two teams returning to the international stage; Vilita were World Cup 20 champions, and Geisenfried won a recent tournament for returning teams. Ten different stadia--the homes of all first-division sides bar Estudiantes, Unión de Ciudagua, and CA Condadore, as well as those of second-division San Pablo, FC Nacional, and AC Mineros--will host Aguazul's home games.

by **Queer Poco el Mono Ara** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:30 am

The Official QPeMA World Cup Qualifying Build Up Thing

And so we begin our foray into our 4th World Cup qualifying attempt with an arbitrary look at the qualifying group and the challenges facing us. Working along by rank, we’ll start with Sorthern Northland who at 7th in the World should prove the staunchest test of the QPeMA metal and will be approached with the same caution and respect one would give a leopard. Also in the group are Jeruselem, where our current coach Joe Hamburgstein was in charge for a spell. They are apparently a team of jezebels and harlots, but are pretty good at football. They will again prove a test when we face them in matchday 11. Below them, but ahead of us are Jasiyun…. I dunno if they exist or not, we’re still not sure what the crack is with them, but they’re in our group and will require beating if we are to progress into the World Cup proper. Then it’s us, QPeMA. Followed by Achtervolging – again, we don’t know much about them as we travel very rarely and rather than study other cultures we just make up rumors about them… like did you know those Achtervolging folk indulge in intercourse with goats? After them it’s Andrewboy at 112th in the World…. They like football and pictures of footballers, hopefully we’ll beat them and the teams ranked below them if we’re going to mount a serious challenge for qualification, talking of teams ranked below them Quakmybush… I think every group received a token old school nation… I think they might be ours…. And thus we reach the silly end of World Rankings entering the 200 region, starting with Warkus. Sounds like walrus, so hopefully the players are useless fat lumps. Just a little behind them but a staggering 190 places below ourselves (just think of the void in rankings between them and Sorthern peeps) is Snaponistan. *shrug* and double shrug for Whittoria and Dracon Prime who enter this round of World Cup qualifying unranked.

Okay, so looking at the teams above us we might struggle, but glancing at the teams below us this may be an exercise in adding to our own World Ranking and to go into the Cup of Harmony (which incidentally, the people of QPeMA and Somewhereistonia have tabled a bid to host) on a high.

Elsewheres… World Cup Champions Candelaria and Marquez have interesting games against Yafor 2, the McLaughlin Islands, Albundania and the wee mice of Miceland in group 13.. which may yet prove to be unlucky for the cup holders.

Their vanquished opponents from the final are actually hosting the World Cup on this occasion, so we’ll take a quick look over a random team’s opposition in qualifying.... errm.. Peisandros. Peisandros are the second highest ranked team in group 15 just behind Capitalizt SLANI. The main competition includes Toyur, Jesselton and Carpathia and Ruthenia. *shrug*

Friendly Watch
For this World Cup cycle we have no “friendly” matches scheduled. The pointless matches against a Rushmore neighbor or a far flung opponent serve no purpose but to clock up our air miles and for the first time, coach Hamburgstein hasn’t bothered to arrange any. Shame really, we quite like the pressure free environment of a friendly and the chance to cast an eye over players we’re not certain belong in the first XI.

The Fixture List….
We kick off at home to Jasiyun on matchday one.
Followed by a trip to Dracon Prime. Check your atlas if you are thinking of coming to this one.
On match day 3 we host Sorthern Northland and after three games may be near the bottom of the group.
Match day 4 we travel to unranked Whittoria. We don’t know what the weather will be like so pack for all eventualities.
Match day 5… we have a bye. So grab a beer, sit back and don’t worry.
Back in action on match day 6, Achtervolging come to us.
MD 7. Andrewboy, away. We’ve heard its lovely there…
MD 8. Snaponistan come to us.
Nearly the half way stage, its Warkus away on match day 9.
Match day 10.. 10! Phew lotta games.Quackmybush at home.
And the half way stage, match day 11 sees us leaving on a jet plane again to play Jeruselem.
And for fixtures 12 – 22, reverse these.

by **Whittoria** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:41 am

WHITTORIA ENTERS WORLD CUP

First Appearance, but Expectations still High (sort of)

Story by Jimmy LePage

Mere months after a 4-4 effort on the Gridiron, Whittoria has entered its first ever soccer team into World Cup play. Soccer is not the huge sport it is in most parts of the world, but the governing body over national soccer, WFC (Whittoria Football Club) has managed to pull together a team at the last second, made up of mostly men of Scottish ancestry who are fluent in Scots and Scots Gaelic (the rest are made up of local St. Lucian stars). Head coach Brian McNair had little to say earlier this week:

(translation)
"We're not too sure what to expect but if all goes well we'll win at least half of our games; at the very least we'll get into some good fights."

So there you have it: some wins and at the very least some good fighting. Is there anything else we could ask for?

Look for the Mayors to duke it out at Vieux Fort National Stadium!

Choose my scorers? Yes
Yellow card my players? Yes
Red card my players? YES!
Injure my players? No
Godmode injuries? No
Godmode scoring events? No
Godmode other events? Yes

Formation: Motedo! (2-3-2-3), WW, occasional 4-4-1-1

Roster:

Goalie: Dermot Mac an Fhoirbhich
Left Winger: Iàcob Alasdair Whuit
Right Winger: Bhaltair Tuaithael
Right Fullback: Seonaidh Ceanadach (no relations to USA's 35th president)
Left Fullback: Mogabi Tisson
Center Halfback: Everton St. Croix
Left Halfback: Chad Prospere
Right Halfback: Ailig Mac an Fhleisteir
Right Inside Forward: Dùghlas MacRath
Left Inside Forward: Sgàire Roideach
Center Forward: Germal Polius

Reserves:

Shervon Jack
Risteard GillEasbaig
Pàrlan MacGuaire
Iàcob Mac an Ionnsaich
Earl Mitchell
Felix Jean
Dominic Wayne
Griogair Còmhan
Pòl Mac an Oighre

by **Ariddia** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:14 am

Ariddia at the World Cup: overview of recent events

Ariddia drawn in Group Six
Concern expressed about travel costs

The Rouge-et-Noirs –officially ranked 149th in the world following the Baptism of Fire– have been drawn out of pool eight and assigned to Group 6 in the qualifiers. On paper, Ariddia is the seventh best team of the eleven in the group. Which makes defeating lower-ranked sides a must-win if the Rouge-et-Noirs are to have any hopes of qualifying.

The task will be complicated by the fact that the Ariddians –on average the second youngest team in the competition, with only Schiavonia’s squad of children being younger (not counting NEWI Cefn Druids’s unhatched and presumably unfertilised eggs)– will be facing most of these teams for the first time.

Concern has also been expressed in response to the uncommonly high number of away matches scheduled. The Rouge-et-Noirs and their supporting staff will have to be flown to ten different countries, a costly operation which will strain the near-empty coffers of the Ariddian Treasury.

“It’s all been budgeted for,” economist Gant de Zeeuw explained recently on PINA. “But there’s a reason why the Rouge-et-Noirs are being sent only for one competition. There’s quite a bit of talk in Ariddia about how to get more money flowing into the country, but for now, spending on travels is very much restricted. It’s the one big flaw in Ariddia’s mostly successful implementation of communism. And the AFA is trying to cut costs on the players’ travels in any way it can. For example, they’ll be staying in embassy buildings when visiting countries where we have embassies. The AFA has requested that, in those countries, the match be held, if possible, in the capital. In other cases, the players will be staying in the homes of expatriates, or in very cheap hotels – and of course that isn’t ideal. In some cases, the AFA has received financial donations from expatriates or foreign fans, so that the Rouge-et-Noirs can stay in proper hotels. I know the AFA has also been inquiring about cheap bed & breakfast accomodation.”

Funds in the Ariddian Traesury, some of which have been made available to the team, come mainly from money spent by tourists visiting Ariddia. Exports to signatories of the International Fair Trade Agreement also bring in some revenue; Ariddia is deemed essentially self-sufficient, and although its exports are limited, they are greater than its imports.

Opponents

STARBLAYDIA (9th)
day 1: away (Stadii Di Bradini) ; day 12 : Stade National Rêvane-Sud

There could be no more difficult start, for the young Rouge-et-Noirs, than to travel to Starblaydia on matchday one and face the five time World Champions in their home stadium.

At one point, this would have been a clash of titans. Ariddia, after all, are three time World Champions themselves, and any match between countries which tote up eight world titles between them is well worth seeing. But the team in purple is ranked ninth in the world, with legitimate hopes to win the Championship, whereas the red-and-blacks will face an uphill battle to make it out of qualifying.

“Of our twenty games, this –the very first– won’t just be the most difficult; it’ll be the most thrilling,” Ariddian captain Fabien Levant says. At the age of just 18, this fairly short young man (1m73) will be leading his teammates –skilled but starry-eyed, the youngest just 15– against a squad which quite literally includes immortals. So is he at all awed?

“Ah, even if I am, I can’t say it. Never let your opponents think you’re too impressed.” He smiles. “If we concede, it’ll only be after the whistle has blown. Until then, we’ll be in there to score goals, hold our defence line, play some good football and work as a team. The coach [Cafundelense Jose Sho – ed.] has given us some good advice, and we’ll be coming into each match intending to win.”

That fiery, youthful determination will be expressed perhaps most potently in the ulek, the pre-match war dance which has become a defining feature of the Ariddian team. Particularly exciting will be the fact that Starblaydia and Ariddia are almost the only two countries to have developed this football tradition. Thus, albeit not for the first time, the ulek will be going face to face with the Starblaydi Raiigar. Both contain dancing, chanting and a ritual challenge.

“I don’t know yet whether they’ll be going first, or we’ll be going first, or we’ll both do it at the same time,” Levant says. “I hope it’s the latter, really. And if they go first, perhaps we’ll start doing the ulek while they’re doing the Raiigar. You know, to go up to them and face them and show that we’re challenging them right back. You know, showing respect, but saying, we’re not going to make this easy. That’s one possibility we’ve been considering, but… Anyway, it’s going to be very exciting!”

One factor to consider will be that the Raiigar is performed by all 23 Starblaydi players, whereas the ulek is performed only by Ariddia’s 11 starters.

“Well yes, if there’s twice as many of them as us, and we go right up to them and chant at them to Sah wa weheshisi, it’ll be… Well, it’s something we all want to do.”

The face-off between the Raiigar and the ulek, and the ensuing match, are sure to be one of the highlights of the World Cup 50 qualifiers. And all that right from day one!

NELLIETOPIA (UR)
day 3: Stade National Rêvane-Sud ; day 14: away

After a bye on day 2 to rest after the Starbalydi match, the Rouge-et-Noirs will be in for a rather different game. Ariddia will be welcoming the unranked Nellietopians for the first World Cup match held on Ariddian ground in over four decades. To mark the occasion, the game will of course be played in Stade National Rêvane-Sud, and the Nellietopian delegation can expect a particularly warm welcome from excited Ariddian football fans.

Nellietopia, officially styled a colony, is located in Atlantian Oceania, a region it shares –among others– with Starblaydia. But whereas the ‘purple blades’ are a sports powerhouse, Nellietopia are unranked. Which makes this second match a must-win for the Rouge-et-Noirs. Any slip-up against the group’s minnows would cause Ariddia to drop precious points – not to mention their self-confidence.

NEW TEXXAS (94th)
day 4: away ; day 15: Wavecrest City Stadium

55 ranks above Ariddia, New Texxas are, on paper, just one place above them in the group – which makes them the team to beat in order to progress. This will be their second appearance at the World Cup; four years ago, they failed to get past the qualifying stages.

While the Rouge-et-Noirs’ visit to Starblaydia will be exciting, their trip to New Texxas is expected to be instructive. The Confederate States will provide a very foreign environment. The New Texxans’ emphasis on religion and conservative moral values, the prevalence of guns and a general suspicion of government contrast strongly with the Ariddians’ secular, tolerant and peaceful society, with a traditional belief in the benevolence of the (now defunct) state.

“It’ll be interesting, but I’m not sure how comfortable I’ll feel,” says Ariddian striker Kossi Touré, upon hearing that his bisexuality would be frowned upon by mostly conservative-minded New Texxans. “I suppose it’s all part of discovering the world.”

NETHERTOPIA (34th)
day 5: ubhashinim Ahwa'u Stadium ; day 16: away

Nethertopia is an economically powerful constitutional, parliamentary democratic monarchy, in which the King (Hendrik I, recently re-established after a lengthy republican period) functions as a figurehead. With an open and tolerant society, and a progressive government committed to social welfare as well as the preservation of nature reserves, Nethertopia will seem a lot less alien to Ariddians than New Texxas.

The country has been competing since World Cup 40 – meaning it made its début just after Ariddia’s withdrawal. In World Cup 49, it qualified, but lost all its matches in the group stages. Its rank (34th) naturally gives it strong hopes of making it into this year’s top 32. As for Ariddia, a win over Nethertopia would be cause for celebration indeed.

BALIDA (75th)
day 6: away ; day 17: Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium

Could the Balidans be within Ariddia’s reach? The United Socialist States –an island nation with a varied climate, combining progressive welfare policies and a strong economy– won the Baptism of Fire for World Cup 49, but then failed to qualify for the Cup itself. Its current rank of 75th makes it a clear favourite over Ariddia, but a win would not rate beyond belief.

The officially independent nation of Balida Minor, strongly bound to Balida by economic ties, was the country which defeated Ariddia in the third place match of this Cup’s Baptism of Fire.

URSINE NORTHLANDS (65th)
day 7: Darras Olympic Stadium ; day 18: away

A win over Balida would certainly help the Ariddians keep their expectations up against Ursine Northlands. The Ursines are hardly new to the Cup, and their impressive stature may intimidate the Rouge-et-Noirs even on the homeground of Darras Stadium. Not to mention the harrdiharr. Will the ulek be enough to impress the Ursines in return?

KEYNE ISLAND (UR)
day 8: away ; day 19: Wavecrest City Stadium

Keyne Island is the group’s second unranked team. Anything other than a full six points here would be a huge disappointment. Its progressive government –with strong social policies and a commitment to civil and political rights– will no doubt spark Ariddians’ admiration as much as the Island’s pristine environmental beauty.

LAZURIL (255th)
day 9: Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium ; day 20: away

Lazuril were Ariddia’s inaugural opponents at the Baptism of Fire. That match ended 3-0 in the Rouge-et-Noirs’ favour. Two convincing victories will be expected – particularly when the Ariddians welcome their erstwhile first adversaries at Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium.

SEPTENTRIONIA (29th)
day 10: away ; day 21: Darras Olympic Stadium

On paper, these two games are unwinnable. The French-speaking Insular Republic will be aiming to top the group by surpassing fellow Atlantian Oceanians Starblaydia; it will not be expecting Ariddia to stand in its way.

In addition to language, Septentrionia and Ariddia share a history of progressive social policies; the Mouvement laïque, currently in power, led the former into a new era of social empowerment a few decades ago. But political, philosophical or linguistic commonalities will not prevent the Rouge-et-Noirs from trying their hardest to upset the Septentrionians’ dreams of glory.

CYRELIA (193rd)
day 11: Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium ; day 22: away

The Rouge-et-Noirs will round off their qualifying campaign against a team they have already met –and beaten– at the Baptism of Fire. A convincing victory at Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium on day 11 would do much to spur the Ariddians on with confidence at the half-way point.

= = = = = = = = = = = = =

Ariddian considered as Candelaria And Marquez coach?

The Albrecht Herald is reporting outside odds on the possibility of Naoki Tonnelier – former Rouge-et-Noirs, who built her football career in Candelaria And Marquez– becoming the latter country’s new national coach. Despite her reported popularity, the newspaper states that Ms. Tonnelier is unlikely to be given serious consideration for the post.

The news brief, however, has reminded Ariddians that a number of former players still live outside Ariddia, in countries where they developed their career. Among former greats, Ke Sho remains a citizen of Cafundéu; Cassie Lee of Errinundera; and Tadjou Senaya of one of the Rejistanian nations. All have married locals and raised their family in their country of adoption.

In view of the fact that the current Rouge-et-Noirs will exist only for a single competition, questions have been raised regarding the possibility of certain players seeking to settle abroad during the World Cup. It would, no doubt, be their one chance for an international career. No player has expressed an intentation to do so as of yet.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:01 am

HEFA ANNOUNCES CROSSHILL CUP VENUES

The Holy Empire Football Association welcomes the Football Associations of The Weegies, Capitalizt SLANI, Liventia and Ariddia to the Holy Empire for the Crosshill Cup, a tournament arranged by the Capitalizt SLANI federation to bring together the oldest surviving nations participating in WC50.

HEFA also hopes to use the Crosshill Cup to test four new venues to be used in the forthcoming WC finals. Despite the unique nature of these venues, the pitch surfaces are ordinary grass. For the purpose of the Crosshill Cup, they each have a capacity of 50,000 - though this may be expanded for the World Cup proper.

These are:

THE STADIUM OF FIRE (The Weegies–Capitalizt SLANI): The entire exterior fabric of this stadium appear to be made of cold-burning flames, which rise high into the sky, also serving to illuminate night matches at this dramatic venue. The flames may only be some sort of oneirology illusion (this is open to debate), but they are certainly dramatic.

THE STADIUM OF WATER (Ariddia–Liventia): Located on a platform far out to sea, and reached by either helicopter or ferry, cascades of water flow over the exterior walls of this venue. On the inside, the terraced seating appears to be made of glass, under which various non-mammalian sea creatures - including sharks - can be clearly seen.

THE STADIUM OF AIR (Capitalizt SLANI–Ariddia): Possibly the most dramatic venue in World Cup history, the Stadium of Air appears to float unsupported a full kilometer above the surface of the ground, tethered some 500 metres away from the cliff face separating the Chaco from the coastal plain by a ten covered walkways - the only available access to the stadium. The walls and seats seem to be made of solid cloudstuff. A plentiful supply of spare balls is at hand, because this is one venue where kicking the ball out of the stadium means the ball is lost forever.

THE STADIUM OF EARTH (The Holy Empire–The Weegies): Entirely built into a deep chasm on the coastal plain, the Stadium of Earth is essentially invisible from the ground until supporters are mere metres away from the venue. The interior walls and seating are made from adobe.

by **Somewhereistonia** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:18 am

Somesport.som

Snorthern Official 'a disgrace'

Following the actions and words of Sorthern Northland's Eoghan Ó Cuillinn at the World Cup qualifying draw in the Krytenian city of Avidia last night, the Baltic Sports Association has presented a formal complaint to the WCC to expel the representative from all further official World Cup events.

The Snotherner was involved in starting several fires during the draw and along with stealing various liquors from other representatives he was broadly insulting of both Somewhereistonia and the BSA's representative, Tõnu Oluots during a time of political tension between the two nations (tension only Somewhereistonia has sought to resolve).

In light of this the BSA has remarked that "[Eoghan Ó Cuillinn] is a complete disgrace to football and a thoroughly degenerate person" the official letter to the governing body went on to say that "this representative is at best a tarnish to the Sorthern people and should immediately have his position revoked by the WCC in order to ensure some sensibility during official events." The incidents are not the first controversies that the representative has been involved in having done something stupid and dangerous or generally insulting at practically every event he has been to outside of Sorthern Northland (and probably inside the drunken nation as well, not that anyone is sober enough to notice).

The BSA concluded that "we hope that those burned during the incident, particularly Dries Pannekoek of Nethertopia and Emperor Boston of Bostopia recover from their injuries quickly" before thanking the Krytenia authorities and the WCC for hosting the draw.

All of this comes to light after further attempts during the draw to formally agree a peace treaty between the two nations and reparations paid for the scampi used by the Sorthern Admiral during his stay in Somewhereistonia. The war, still technically ongoing, after the Sorthern Navy came to support the Kyrinskaian forces during the conflict which ended two years ago. Since the sinking of the majority of the Sorthern fleet, Somewhereistonia has decided not to further engage Sorthern Northland who are no longer considered a threat "to anybody other than themselves". The Somewhereistonian government are now considering naturalising the thousands of Sorthern POWs that have been in the country the last two years instead of keeping them in custody as well as the potential for further action to disable Sorthern military threats, given the nation's unpredictability.

More information will come as it arrives.

by **Callidon** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:35 am

Four years ago, a ragtag group of players who could barely be called professional footballers stunned the football world by not only advancing to the finals of the Baptism of Fire, they also came close to qualifying for the World Cup Finals proper in their first go. In the process, they have since surpassed the team that defeated them in the Baptism of Fire Cup finals in the KPB rankings.

For manager Kenneth Considine, managing expectations of success was not what he expected to have as his greatest footballing challenge. He was expecting to have to deal with the vagaries of getting a football program off the ground. He was expecting to have to make do without his team's captain and its soul, defender Trey Dickson.

However, he was now in charge of a team that other nations were regarding warily. Dickson not only recovered from the horrific injury at the hands of Peisandros midfielder Petros Zaimis, he was back in the starting 11 as team captain once again. And he was there to guide a team that was ranked 64th in the world, trailing world No. 4 Valanora, No. 24 Newmanistan and No. 38 Taeshan among the ranked sides in Group 14.

"We know it's not going to be easy," Considine said. "Especially since we know we're not going to be able to sneak up on anyone this time."

Before the World Cup itself began, Callidon would face the team representing the nation whose doctors saved Dickson's leg: Delaclava. When a Delaclav doctor received word that Callidon's 19th century medical techniques would have amputated Dickson's leg, he sprung into action, intercepting Dickson and taking him instead to Catherina. Following the extensive rehabilitation, Dickson was able to return to international football, albeit wearing a brace provided for him by the Delaclavs.

"National Stadium has got a new paint job, so we'll be ready to host all 11 matches here," Considine said of the stadium, located in the nation's capital Brightonburg. "It should be interesting."

by **Whirl Islands** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:23 pm

THE NAVEL POST
First and Best Newspaper in the Whirl Islands

WORLD CUP 50 - Tough group, high expectations and stadium info

NAVEL ISLAND (WIP) - After the successful participation in the last Baptism of Fire, where the Islanders made it to the Quarterfinals, the expectations are high for this upcoming World Cup qualification campaign. A worthy campaign is expected in the WIFA headquarters until the Islanders get the level to enter the "true" competition. Well, we have...Group 4. Too difficult to make it to the Finals this time: Jeru FC (8), Kosovoe (25), The Babbage Islands (34), Gordon Bay City (53), Kulverint (78), Connar Republic (103), Assyanm (=209), Shilohrod (240), Montebank (UR) and Iles Arctiques (UR). Seventh among eleven teams would not be as bad.

In other news (related to the World Cup as well), the home stadium for the ten matches has been confirmed: Whirl Islands will play their home matches at the United Islands National Stadium, in Navel Island, with a capacity of 36,000. This stadium is not only known for being the biggest stadium in the Islands, also is renowned due to the hostile environment created by the home fans. The weather conditions will also play an important role. Teams that usually play in cold climate might suffer the sunny climate of the islands at this place like nobody. Due to this, the UINS is also called "the Hell in the Paradise", that motto making a reference to the Islands, considered a "paradise" for tourists.

by **The Babbage Islands** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 8:01 pm

GERNSBACK, Tesla (BPA) -- Ganz Ijak, manager of The Babbage Islands national football team, has announced his starting lineups for the pre-World Cup matches.

In the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy match against Delaclava, the normal starting lineup will play: Solveig - DiFilippo, Freudigmann, Reeves, Sims - Cook, Rouleau, Nash, Heatherly - Martin, Hebbeler.
In the friendly at Eastfield Lodge: Turner - Di Filippo, Freudigmann, Pearson, Chauvin - Cook, Chang, Nash, Wood - Janneteau, Reynolds.
In the friendly at Osarius: Solveig - Anderson, Freudigmann, Reeves, Sims - Moss, Rouleau, Nash, Heatherly - Sherman, Bishop.

by **Dancougar** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:07 pm

Dancougar News!!
Gundam Unicorn is going to look so pretty once the BluRay is out.

When we last saw the Black Wings, they were looking for excuses to make after bowing out in the World Cup's Round of 16 to Candelaria and Marquez. The official press release was that the team suffered food poisoning following a plot more fit for a television sitcom than an international football tournament, and one seriously wonders if there was really any truth to that report. In truth, there were some worrying signs throughout qualifying that the team would not have an easy route back to the semifinals. Home losses to Aguazul and Bears Armed were forgotten after three wins in the World Cup group stage, but then the team put together a lackluster offensive effort against the Blues in the first knockout game. Then-ranked first in the world and subsequently knocked from their lofty perch, the Wings will have to come hungry if they're to take anything from this tournament.

Lyle Dylandy enters his second campaign with a vastly different lineup now that most of the previous team has reached its early thirties. He did well in his coaching debut, guiding the team to 21 wins in 25 matches, but it has to be said that the former Dancougar midfielder didn't have to do much. After all, he inherited most of the team which placed third in World Cup 48 and didn't have to make many personnel decisions. All he did was pick up where Shigeru Takeuchi left off. This time, however, he's had to scour the D-League for young players. A few awful draft classes left Dancougar in a bad spot, but with a few promising players from Di Bradini Cup 12 ready to make the jump and a handful of others asserting themselves in the recent Apertura, Dylandy will have no shortage of eager players. Talent remains an open question.

(View the roster here.)

We start on the defensive end, where Yuki City Athletic 'keeper Shane Bologna will get the nod. Bologna's team has long lagged on the periphery of the D-League's elite despite playing consistently well, but that's enabled them to make a living in the Globe Cup, giving him some precious experience against foreign clubs. That, and his age, have him ahead of the venerable Hajime Kojima, who at 34 is still arguably Dancougar's best. With two World Cups under his belt, he's got the most international experience of any player on the roster. Having Kojima in reserve will be comforting under this class of young defenders proves itself. Six have been selected to start but only two of them actually went to World Cup 49, Gordon Flicek and Leslie Serianni. Paul Barclay's international retirement robs Dancougar of its strongest defender, but then again, team defense has always been the order of the day for the Wings. If any of this bunch stand out, it will be a tremendous bonus.

Dylandy has already received a round of criticism for selecting ten midfielders for his initial roster, but as this has always been where Dancougar's found its most varied talents, we can see why he's done it. Anton Fedorek and Maria Klecha will provide leadership from the wings, where they will have the most opportunities to use their speed and dribbling skills to create scoring chances. Klecha played her way into the starting lineup in the previous round of qualifiers, and she's been an anchor for Sporting Lakeport throughout their title runs. The rest of the midfield is all new, and we begin with Alexis Dellasanta. Dellasanta reminds some of Brittany Prescott for her toughness and physical nature, and it's precisely that which will have her serving a defensive role alongside newcomer Bunpei Nishima. Playing the role of attacking midfielder will be Stefan Meineke, who has been a huge part of the Eastport United offense which looked to be in deep trouble following the dual retirement of Aiko Yoshida and Lynn DiMino, both former members of the national team. Meineke helped pace the team with 13 goals in the Apertura.

There's also much buzz about the reserve midfielders, with all but one of them under the age of 25. Jermaine Fessenden and Trent Stokely are, like Dellasanta, graduates of the 12th Di Bradini Cup. Fessenden was one of the team's top scorers in that tournament and looks very comfortable as a central attacking midfielder, although he was brought down to earth in his first D-League season. Stokely likewise suffered some growing pains in Chuuoushi but has the ability to play anywhere on the field. The other two newcomers joining them in the reserves are Glenn Matilla and Eric Holdman, products of the Shuukyuu Kishin and Eastport systems, respectively. People think that their individual brilliance during the Apertura was a product of the players around them, but Dylandy says that both have a spark that he hopes to capture during qualifying. Holdman, in particular, partnered with Meineke to help drive Eastport's success when fans were expecting a down year.

Finally, the forward line. We can praise the Eastport midfield all we want, but it would be a crime to ignore Ken Antonovich, their 23-goal scoring team leader. Antonovich was a reserve forward in World Cup 49 but was an impact player, as three of the four goals he scored were match-winners. Antonovich claims that he's more than ready to play for his country, but he'll have to work hard to match the production of linemate Shannon Brookhouse. Yuki City Athletic's star forward was named the team captain by Dylandy in recognition of her remarkable performance in the previous cycle. She led the team with 18 goals scored despite it being her debut, and coupled with her haul from Di Bradini Cup 11, puts her at 22 international goals in her career. With a massive qualification gauntlet awaiting, she has a real chance to threaten Dancougar's all-time leaders if she's able to stay fit, although it's unlikely she'll play more than half of the matches given her club commitments. On the bench, David Bosques will rely on momentum from the Apertura to guide him, while Kaito Watanabe and Jimmy Heathcote represent the future of Dancougar's strike force.

The 50th World Cup is going to be the biggest ever, but whether or not it is the best will depend a lot on the vantage point. Surely, Dancougar's fans will expect qualification and anything less than a return to the knockout stage will be a failure. The group draw looks favorable at first glance, with second-seed Macabees ranked 31st in the world. But third seed Sargossa is close behind at 36th, and let's not forget that Aguazul were ranked 75th when they shocked the Wings 2-1 in the National Stadium four years ago. No matches must be taken for granted, and given that the teams will play a massive twenty qualifiers, mental strength will be just as important. Unless the team can remain on focused on the task at hand, they could be in for a rude shock.

MD1: v Mantwenic
MD2: bye
MD3: v Schiavonia
MD4: @ Valladares
MD5: v Royalsoldiers
MD6: @ The Macabees
MD7: v Sel Appa
MD8: @ Sargossa
MD9: v San Giorgio a Cremano
MD10: @ Glynorhan
MD11: v Die Adler
MD12: @ Mantwenic
MD13: bye
MD14: @ Schiavonia
MD15: v Valladares
MD16: @ Royalsoldiers
MD17: v The Macabees
MD18: @ Sel Appa
MD19: v Sargossa
MD20: @ San Giorgio a Cremano
MD21: v Glynorhan
MD22: @ Die Adler

These matches will all be discussed when the time comes; for now, the Wings will be focused on challenge cup friendlies. The Cashman's Urn match with Sarzonia should turn plenty of heads. Even though it's an exhibition match, it's a meetup of two top-five teams, which is a rare treat normally reserved for the late stages of the World Cup itself.

by **Nellietopia** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:50 pm

We're going to give you the opportunity to get the spark notes version Nellietopia RPs over the course of the World Cup Qualification (because being pragmatists, we're not going to qualify).

Part A: Something stupid happens.
Part B: Someone tries to resolve stupid happening by a rational solution.
Part C: Rational solution miserably fails and causes another stupid problem.
Part D: Rational solutions fail to resolve anything, and stupid problem becomes a really big stupid problem.
Part E: Absurd solution resolves everything, and everyone is happy once more.

Take it, eat it, and have some fun with it.

Girl Scout Cookies.

The mere mention of which sends a chill down any sane person's back. The moment one spots the quaint little girl and her companion (generally another little girl, because little boys don't like to sell cookies) with her little red wagon (or blue, but the only time you see "blue" and "wagon" used in the same sentence is "blue stationwagon") filled to the brim (or beyond) with boxes of cookies, the streets become devoid of life (the old lady two blocks down who perennially buys 1093 boxes of tagalongs being the principal exception). The pesky little cookie boxes are enough to drive people mad, which is why they do so well in the market. If the entrepreneurial little 14-year-old lemonade-stand boys would learn to diversify into the milk market (and notwithstanding popcorn is obsolete), boys and girls could combine their efforts to drive every sensible individual over the age of 16 into bankruptcy. Of course, thankfully they don't. Otherwise, we'd see them Bostopians raiding Sorthern Northland for every last drop of snickerdoodles or mint chocolate chip cookies, potentially the Violet Divorce could undivorce (West Starblaydia anyone?), and my little urchins would ball up and roll around dashing for golden sparkly rings and random gems floating around in space whilst chased by some psychopathic technofreak. Girl Scout Cookies are bad.

Ah, we're not here to talk about Girl Scout Cookies. In fact, take your worst thought about Girl Scout Cookies and imagine something far worse. Far worse.

That's right.

Nellie Scout Cookies. We'll be selling them at every World Cup Qualification match. And you will buy our cookies.

But we're not even here to talk about Nellie Scout Cookies. In fact, we're here to talk about something that the Nellie Scout Cookies did (nope, cookies can't commit murder, because they're not human - otherwise, we should charge lard for 1st degree murder on 1,194,649 counts and counting).

It was a rather average day, and Bob was sitting at home, watching the tellie, when he heard a frap at the door. Imagine his surprise when he beheld four little nellies standing at the door, wielding boxes of cookies and more. He could not so easily escape their watch, as having answered the door he had already shown himself to be quite well at home. Nonetheless, he tried to free himself from the door, but the nellies had already placed their strong limbs through the door, and now they were inside the house.

"NO! I WILL NOT BUY YOUR NELLIE SCOUT COOKIES!" Bob yelled loudly.

"We're not here to sell our Nellie Scout Cookies!" the little nellies said.

"Orly?" Bob replied. This was likely another trick tactic that the nellies would try to employ. After all, why bring the cookies if they weren't going to sell any of them? "Then what's with all of the cookies you have there?"

"We're here to advertise our delicious cookies, so we can hope to convince you to buy them."

"NO! I WILL NOT BUY YOUR NELLIE SCOUT COOKIES!" Bob yelled loudly, firmly aware that if he heard anything about the Nellie Scout Cookies, he could not resist buying none of them. But the nellies insisted. "We're sure that you do want to hear what we have to say about our rich, scrumptious cookies. After all, they're the finest treat to eat when there's nothing else to chew. And they're quite healthy too!"

"NO! I WILL NOT HEAR YOU SPEAK A WORD ABOUT THESE DAMNED COOKIES!" Bob knew that the only way to win this was to be aggressive to the brink.

"Very well, that'll be $1093."

"What for?" Bob said, outraged. "You come to my house, and you want me to pay you for coming? I don't need visitors!"

"But that's the fee to get us to leave, with shipping and handling. Not to mention, there's a special clause in there that prevents us from coming back ever again."

Bob really liked what he heard in there - that prevents them from coming back ever again. It was just too great to pass up, and he paid the full price to get them out of his house. And before long, he found himself sitting on his couch once more, watching the tellie. Some time later, during commercials, there was another knock at the door, and without a thought as to who it could be, he opened the door and saw the nellies! "I thought I just paid $1093 to get you to never come back! EVER AGAIN!"

"Oh, that was the last group," the nellies replied. "We're here to talk about our scrumptious cookies, won't you like to hear us?"

"NO! I WILL NOT HEAR YOU SPEAK ABOUT YOUR COOKIES, SO SCAT!!!!!!!" Bob was irate. But the nellies were persistent. "Well, for $1093, you can buy yourself some sweet coverage to get us off your property, while ensuring that we never..."

"I just did that! It didn't work! Now go before I call the police!"

At that moment, the nellies put on their police uniforms. "We are the police," they said.

"Great..." Bob said. "I listen to what you have to say, but I will not buy ANYTHING!"

"Swell!" the nellies said, coming into Bob's house. Bob went to the kitchen, to get him some food to eat while the nellies talked. If he was full while they talked, he would be less tempted to buy any of their cookies. There was but one problem with that. "WHERE THE %$#^ ARE MY BISCUITS?!?!?"

"Oh, you probably already finished eating them," the nellies said. Bob hit his head against the top of the cabinet, wondering why the nellies had followed him into the kitchen. "But that's great, because we've got a special on Dodos, buy one and get one half-off! They're quite the delicious snack, with rich chocolate and velvety nougat in the middle. It's just a great cookie, we're sure you'll love it."

Oh no! They had already begun the product descriptions! Bob was in trouble! He rushed over to the fridgerator, to get something to eat. Yogurt, broccoli, raw eggs, [i]anything. Nothing. His fridge was empty.

"You must have a huge appetite," the nellies said, peering into the fridgerator. Bob felt tempted to slam the fridge shut, but he knew that nellies were a bit stronger than that, to be slammed locked into a fridge. Still, the thought was nice and tempting... "I still won't buy any of your cookies, even if I don't have any food! I'd starve sooner than I buy your worthless junk!"

"Worthless junk?" the nellies said, with a bit of feinted shock. "Have you tried our delightful Hot Kebabs? They're made fresh from lamb chops and fresh au jus, with a hint of garlic butter toast. It's just the best way to finish off any meal with a little treat. And they're biodegradable too!" For some reason, that seemed to pique interest from Bob, but he knew that to endure this, he must not cave in to any temptation, however mundane the circumstances of his desires. They wanted him to buy their cookies, and he just couldn't buy their cookies! It was against his principles (although, giving out $1093 was also against his principles, but given the circumstances as he believed them to be, he could have been justified to amend his thrifty habits).

For 18 minutes, he listened to the nellies talk about their various cookies, but after the first ten minutes, he was running on empty. He needed to eat something and fast. Running out of things, he started chewing on his couch. After a lengthy discussion about Hoohoos, he managed to eat all of the furniture in his house. After the nellies finished talking about Jumbo Shrimp Patty-cakes, he ate his house. Still, his appetite begged for Nellie Scout Cookie, any of them. He couldn't work like this for much longer.

"WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THOSE DAMNED NELLIE SCOUT COOKIES?!?" he yelled in agonizing frustration.

The nellies thought long and hard about it. "You could pay the $1093 fee..." Bob refused that deal. "As much as it's tempting, I know the moment you leave, someone else will come along. But what I want is for some way to guarantee that I will never again be taunted by you nellies selling me your Nellie Scout Cookies! IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO GET THAT?!?!?"

The nellies continued to think long and hard about it. They weren't really quite prepared to meet someone with such a strong resolve. "Well, there is one thing that you can do so that no more nellies would try to sell you Nellie Scout Cookies..."

And that's how Bob became the National Football Team coach for Nellietopia.

by **Burchadinger** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:53 am

BURCHADINGER TIMES
ITS A PREVIEW!

Burchadinger will begin the World Cup 50 campaign with two friendlies in Burchadinger. The first one, will be played against Balida. Balida and Burchadinger both came onto the scene at the same time. Both teams were involved in the 36th Baptism of Fire, hosted by Krytenia and Nethertopia. While both teams failed to meet each other, Burchadinger being in Nethertopia and Balida in Krytenia, after World Cup 49, both nations have enjoyed co-hosting various tournaments, most notably the Ebyria Regional Cup. The second match will be played against Warkus. Warkus came onto the international scene slightly later than Burchadinger and Balida. Nevertheless, they will be tough opponents.

Burchadinger, as nearly every other country, expects their team to reach the Finals. There will be no mercy by fans, as Die Adler face teams such as Qazox and Daehanjeiguk. There are some players who have lost their place in the Burchadinger national team since the last World Cup cycle. The latest example is Hans Steinmeir, who represented his country with honor, until he stumbled up and effectively ended the World Cup 49 campaign for Burchadinger. Steinmeir became the youngest man to serve as the Burchadinger Number 1. At the age of 24, he possessed great skill, but became so unreliable, he was eventually replaced by veteran Klaus Diefenbaker. However, for one seasoned player, there exists no question marks over his participation. Markus Klogh.

For World Cup 50, Deval Enke is certain to field out the squad that made him proud not so long ago. So Klogh will become a more important player than ever, as a consequence of all of his skill. The 23-year-old has always played an important role for Dynamo Dresden, who found him at the tender age of 14. He is capable of firing beautiful curlers from just about anywhere and has great heading ability. Perhaps the only flaw he has is his immaturity. Although he did have a tendency to breakdown after losing, he has apparently learned to toughen up since World Cup 49.

Pundits from Burchadinger and beyond have touted that if the team are really to qualify, 4 teams stand in the way. Qazox, The Han Empire, West Zirconia and Pays de Horreur. In the latest KPB World Rankings, Qazox is ranked 6th, The Han Empire 19th, West Zirconia 47th, Pays de Horreur 66th and Burchadinger 84th. What this means is that if Burchadinger are really to qualify, and if the 4 teams mentioned are really the ones to beat, Die Adler will have to beat an average rank of 34.5. Which is significantly lower than 84. In fact, Burchadinger will start World Cup 50 with a lower rank than what they had in World Cup 49. Although, there really isn't much difference between 83 and 84.

And as crazy as it seems, Walter van Fredstien believes his team can win the World Cup. In an interview, the 25-year old said that he had seen it in a dream. Of course, not all dreams come true, and while we do not want to ruin hopes, it would be seemingly impossible if Burchadinger won the World Cup. The odds are already 50 to 1 for Burchadinger qualifying, which makes winning the Cup, around... You do the math.

World Cup 50 will see the team debuting in a Daiden kit. A sponsorship deal began less than a month ago and is contracted to continue for at least five years. Tenderville4Sportswear made nice kits, and most Burchadingans are still thankful to those Nethertopians. The current design by Daiden was unveiled on the nearly 4 weeks ago. The reception by fans was mostly positive, though there were still some who preferred the T4S made kits.

Ticket sales for all Burchadingan matches have already sold out. In fact, tickets were snapped up by fans in a span of what is predicted to be 10 minutes. If we were talking World Cup 49, tickets would still be for sale for at least 2 days before a match. But World Cup 50 madness is on, and the government looks to make big money on all the tourism. Well, maybe not. The monthly financial report saw overall expenditure and imports skyrocket. This was due to the fact the government has been upgrading and building more hotels, shopping malls, and etcetra. The last report shows that the government has nearly 789 Billion Reichsmarks to pay off to contractors, architects and so on. Although Prime Minister Rastenburg is confident his nation can do it, well, can the nation do it? Already struggling under a massive tax rate, Burchadinger's citizens wont probably bother to read that letter with the lines "Extra Tax".

Will Burchadinger actually make it through? Will fans be right? Will van Fredstien's dream become reality? Well then, don't forget to turn on your television set tonight, as Burchadinger face off with Balida!

Paragraph 2 and 3 are an edited version of this.

World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

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