NATION

PASSWORD

World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

A battle ground for the sportsmen and women of nations worldwide. [In character]

Advertisement

Remove ads

User avatar
United Gordonopia
Senator
 
Posts: 4029
Founded: Aug 04, 2008
Ex-Nation

Postby United Gordonopia » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:17 am

The Beautiful Game: A History of Football in Gordonopia
By Dr. Frank Donaugh, Imperial University


Chapter VI - Bottom-Up


Without a major demographic behind it, football never would have moved past being an eccentric or exotic fad in Gordonopia. The majority of early players were in the upper or upper-middle class, often cosmopolitan aristocrats or worldly businessmen. That small group, though it had long held an interest in sport, was one of the bases for running. In a complete reversal, it would be the working classes of the inner cities throughout Gordonopia that would turn football from a fancy to a fundamental fact of life.

In one sense, it all came down to the cities themselves. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, Gordonopia was in the midst of its 'Second Industrial Revolution'. The factory towns and river mills the had brought the first industry to Gordonopian shores were being replaced by urban jungles of manufactories and works. Tolten, North Deska and Reinheim, the Danbar Basin, Teva's Docktown, all were becoming transformed into titans of industry. With that development, though, came urban slums and crime.

One notable aspect of the transformation of the urban landscape was the elimination of much of the open green space that had characterized previous city plans. Without the large parks, many cities lost prime space for running. To further add to the hardship around maintaining the traditional sport within the new urban cities, rampant crime made road running a hazardous ordeal.

Many of these factors made football a particularly attractive alternative. While there were no more large parks, most cities were still dotted with open lots, perfect for use as a small football pitch. The few supplies needed, a cheap ball and something to mark goals, helped keep costs low for strained working-class budgets. And best of all, the safety-in-numbers offered by playing a team sport, something Gordonopia traditionally did not have, was a respite from crime.

Around the time football was growing, many factory owners were also trying to encourage their employees to have some sort of recreation outside of work. They had found that when they had an outlet to take their time off of the hardships of labor, they tended to be more productive during the day. A perfect outlet turned out to be football, and around the time the GFF was being organized, countless factories around Gordonopia were beginning to organize football teams. Matches would be played against squads within the same firm, or even against neighboring factories, and employees who weren't playing were typically encouraged to attend. Players who performed well were often given incentives such as a bonus or extra time-off, making them the forerunners to professional athletes. Many company teams, particularly in Tolten, still exist today, while clubs descended from them, such as West Tolten and Iron Harbor SC, even play in the highest reaches of the sport.

Within a decade and a half of football's introduction to Gordonopia, one would have been hard pressed to visit one of the many slums around the country and not find a few men or boys playing a pickup or street game. In a class that had never had the time nor the space to devote to running, a foreign sport had taken hold.
If you ever have an RPing question, please TG me about it.
Also Known as Kazmr


Host: Baptism of Fire 51, 53
Third Place: Cup of Harmony 56
Semi-Finalist: World Cup 63

User avatar
Filopines
Diplomat
 
Posts: 705
Founded: Dec 27, 2008
Ex-Nation

Postby Filopines » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:55 am

(baby cries)
"How about Harley James?"
"It's perfect. Harley James Reid."

Harley James Reid was born into a family of four (including him). His mother, Celine and father, Jack were unemployed.

"Hi little baby!"
"You're his sister. I think you should know his name."
"What's his name, Dad?"
"Harley James Reid."
"Hi, Harley James Reid! You're so cute, Harley James Reid! I love you, Harley James Reid!"
"Just call him Harley."
"That's shit."
"Watch your language, Marie Louise Jane Reid."
"Sorry, Jack Morris Villame Reid."
"Don't full name me."
"Don't full name ME!"
"Stop arguing guys."
"Sorry, honey."
"Sorry, mum."

Harley Reid had one sister, Marie. She was 11 years old when Harley was born. The only way they survived was from his mum's brother, who was the Vice President of Filopines, Roman Quezada.

"Hi, Roman. Nice to see you."
"Nice to see you too, Jack. Been a while since I have been in a hospital."
"When was the last time?"
"Two years ago when Roman Junior was born. Where's Celine?"
"She's inside."
"Hi, Celine!"
"Rom!"
"What's this little boy's name?"
"Harley James Reid."
"Where's the Quezada?"
"Uh..."
"I'm just kidding Cel."
"Tito Rom!"
"Hi, Marie! Come give me a hug."
"Celine, where's everybody else?"
"Marcos is over there hitting on the nurse, Paul is working and also Martha."
"Dal si Mama y Papa?"
"They're working as well."
"Shame."
"You're a good man, Roman. You're the Vice President of this great country but you still have time to do family stuff."
"I agree."
"Tito Rom and I are talking, Marie. Don't interrupt."

Celine had three brothers, Roman, Marcos, divorced engineer, Paul, car salesman and one sister, Martha, a nurse. All four are older than Celine. Jack was an only child.

"Call Marcos here, Jack."
"Marcos! Celine is calling you."
"Coming!"
"So here's my number. Call me maybe. What was your name again?"
"Carly Rae. Yours?"
"Marcos!"
"That's my name. I'm coming, I'm coming! See you soon, honey."
"What do you want, parents of two children?"
"Stay here with us."
"Why?"
"So you can look at your brand new nephew."
"Wow, he's really cute."
(Harley cries)
"Don't cry. Your uncle's here. And Mama and Papa. We'll be with you all the time. We will always love you. Along with the rest of the family. It's all going to good. Don't cry."
(Harley stops crying)
Nation of Filopines
Fort Town, Filopines: Sixth Rushmori Capital of Culture
Native Filopinian names
Surnames

Demonym - Filopinian
Beach Cup VIII Champions

updated 5/01/2015 pre-apocalypse

User avatar
Mapletish
Minister
 
Posts: 2713
Founded: Feb 26, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Mapletish » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:58 am

The Sour Kind
Because being sweet is too mainstream; bringing you the latest updates of the World Cup LXV Qualifiers
With some annoying eyebrows and fake accent; YOLO!


Hello everybody, this is Tish once again for another installment of the the Sour Kind. This time round, the Lions won Mantwenic who qualified for the World Cup twice in their history, in an exciting and mouth-watering clash between the two sides at Mantwenic's National Stadium. The win sees the Lions advance to fourth place in Group Four, but still ten points away from the top of the group currently occupied by AMSV while the Lions are two points away from the playoff matches, which will be the more realistic target for the Lions. Doing well in their recovery work and are now three matches undefeated with two wins and a draw after a disastrous start to the World Cup Qualifiers.

Junio, the top goalscorer for the Lions' World Cup qualifying campaign, scored the only goal of the clash between Mantwenic and Mapletish. The battle of the two Ms thus ended with a decisive Mapletish victory. So Junio scored the only goal of the game just before the hour mark from an Ai Jing's cross as reward for a great deal of pressure imposed by the Rushmori side. Mantwenic, meanwhile faced their fourth defeat in the campaign, certainly not the kind of the performance that put them in the World Cup in the World Cup 54 and 55 cycles.

For all of the Lions' dominance of possession, though, there had been only a few suggestions they would be bale o break the hosts' resistance before a typically visionary cross field pass from Dennis released Ai Jing down the left. Having sprinted in behind the Mantwenic rearguard, the Struggait United midfielder centered for Junio to scramble past Matthew Barnes.

Those two protagonists had been bad the heart of some first half controversy, as the forward went down under a challenge from the goalkeeper in the box, yet play was waved on despite some contact being apparent from both of them.

As early as the fifth minute Mapletish had shown intent to get their noses in front, yet Alvarez inexplicably scooped over from just six yards out after being teed up by Junio.

Mantwenic had the next clearest openings in the first half, but the lead man for them, Alan Marringer could not profit from Patrick Delmonico's energetic raid down the right, while Victor Lipscomb missed the hosts' best chance as he was thwarted by Sapphire after being released by Silas Cromwell.

After the break, the threat from the hosts was more muted and Barnes had to be sharp from Ai Jing prior to Junio's breakthrough which changed the dynamic of the game.

Alan Marringer had an opportunity to equalise after being set up by Cromwell, but Sapphire got her body firmly behind that Thorton University man's drive, and Vincent Kilton could not quite head a proper ball home from a corner kick.

Even after Victor Lipscomb had been dismissed for two yellow cards in the space of a couple of minutes for his rough challenges on Junio in an attempt to get the ball away from home. Mantwenic offered a threat, with Patrick Delmonico blasting a shot narrowly past the frame.

Mapletish dominated possession until the end, yet aside from the occasional raid from Enkainia down the right flank, the visitors were largely toothless with regards a threat on Barnes' goal until the Eleth State goalkeeper denied Dennis in stoppage time.

Ultimately this would matter lots for the Lions now that they are just two points away from getting to at least a second spot for World Cup qualifying after being separated 10 points away from the top of the table.
The Minuscule Nation Mapletish
Pop. 65,000,000 | Capital: Struggait City| Demonym: Maplish/Mapletian| Trigramme: MAP
First - WLC 24, DBC 43, XV Winter Olympics Second - WCoH 22, RUWC 23, CR 24 Third- BoF 44, HWC 11, WCoH 20, WCoH 21, DBC 49 Fourth - U15WC9, RLWC12, CR 14
Qualified for WC 64, 66
www.unionsports.map
Proudly contributing my triumph's to the glorification of the greater whole!

User avatar
Ko-oren
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 7861
Founded: Nov 26, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ko-oren » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:11 am

The second of two empires

In Group 14, the top teams are finally slightly ahead of the rest. After two match days of draws across the board, Liventia, the Holy Empire and Ko-oren finally recorded wins. This also means that San Potato, for instance, lags just slightly behind following their win over Iturributa. The Sova Empire was on par with the Greenblues, and that was exactly the biggest consequence of this game: who would stay in the top group: The Sova Empire (if they won), Ko-oren (if we won) or neither (in case of a draw)? It turned out that Ko-oren is the team that is now just one point behind The Holy Empire and Liventia. For the former, they might have expected to be first in the group by now. Fourth in the world, ranked far, far before Liventia, they might have expected to be at the same number of points as us or Iturributa, but maybe not the 91st ranked Liventia (though everyone knows how seriously their people take sports, it's also not really a surprise they climb so fast). That's right: Liventia is the fourth seed of the group.

But now back to our game. The Sova Empire is the second of two empires in our schedule, and previously we have played the Holy Empire (where we did exactly as expected). Come to think of it, there could be much more similarities between the two teams than you might expect. They are ranked 4th and 144th, for instance. That is a big difference. But otherwise, the teams are playing extremely attacking football, though that resulted in very similar results against the defensive Greenblues (win/loss by one goal difference). They're both Empires, of course, that's something, and then there's the letters D-O-M-E in the last five letters of both nations' stadium names. Both have yellow and red as their kit colors (though one is black as tertiary color, and one is white).

All in all, the 12-5-1 prediction that we made before MD1 still stands. We seem to have not as many draws as last cycle, and at least we don't have much more draws than any one else in the group. Actually, we have less draws than the other teams in our half of the table. Let's hope for the best (and the expected two wins) in the last two games of this half of qualifying.

You could expect that with this many draws in one group, the teams are much closer together than in other groups, with our top team having a comparatively bad record, and our lowest team having a relatively good record. In fact, only two groups' first ranked teams are doing worse. One is doing worse by just one goal and one point, the other miraculously is doing well in the win department, but somehow tops the group with a zero goal difference (7-7). Vettrera, how? On the other hand, our Rex Lucian still has no points and -11 GD. I don't know how many teams could go below that, but eight teams are doing worse, among which is Friday Freshman, who(m?) we've played before, a few cycles ago. But at least this supports the wild conjecture that our group is closer together than other groups, to some extent.

As far as the match itself, it wasn't very good. But at least the result pleased the fans, though they had to wait for a long time before things went our way. The Margret Bashers got to over twice as many shots on goal, and Asgard was the absolute hero of the Greenblues. Ko-oren, when in possession, waited for a bit to see where they could avoid the most action, and therefore had 55% possession. This is by far not a representative statistic, but it looks nice at least. Ko-oren has had a majority of possession in most of their matches, though this must be the first time they absolutely did not deserve it. Worst of all, though, Pollard got the Sova Empire 1-0 ahead within a minute. After that, the defense of Ko-oren manned up, and the biggest challenge was to avoid more goals. While it happened that then the team forgot to score, they actually got the ball into the right goal, but it was a bit late. After 89 minutes, Shiribeshi equalized, and Fenner scored the winning goal from a free kick. Surprisingly, the net was still intact.

The Sova Empire 1–2 Ko-oren (SoT 8-3, S 14-8, Poss 45-55, Pass 78%-79%)
@Temple Dome, The Sova Empire
20:00, 21C, rain. Att: ???

Goals:
'1 Pollard 1-0 - '89 Shiribeshi 1-1, '90+3 Fenner 1-2

Yellow:
'30 Kruger, '42 Leggett - '14 Norn, '30 Dehenat
Red:
-

Subs:
'76 Norn OUT
Juliasterinthen IN
'80 Idrasil OUT
Eregrent IN
'83 Tokachi OUT
Terathu IN


Image
Chapter 7: Politics and Democracy

While Ko-oren is meritocratic, it is not that people have no control over the government. First of all, most people end up working for the government in some way, and secondly, there is a democratic parliament. Formally, the parliament does not hold any power over the ministries. They have one big task, and that is that the parliament must formulate an opinion on every law that the ministries pass. This is so that the ministries cannot pass laws and treaties without scrutiny. The parliament cannot block the legislation, but the ministries are willing to listen to the opinions.

This parliament has 712 members that are all chosen for a period of 4 years. Not all 712 are replaced at the same time: there are elections every two years, during which 356 are replaced. Ko-oren’s population is seen as homogenous enough that there is no need for geographically-bound elections: all votes are tallied per municipality, but in the end they are treated as being on one big pile. People have to vote for parties, not for individuals. Parties all have their own distinct state ideology, and there are about 12 large parties. Around elections, there is a good number of one-man-parties, which more often than not have absolutely no success.

While the parties have different ideologies, they also do not mind working together. Not that that is needed often, as the parliament as a whole needs to arrive at one conclusion and one opinion. Still, all parties are different enough that there is no real overlap. There are parties that are more concerned with economy, and there are more general parties that focus on society as a whole. The Mixed-economists, for instance, are quite close to the Democrats, only the scope with which they see things is different.


1 Overview
2 Geography 1: regions, cities, distances
3 Geography 2: climate, weather & landscape

4 Cities
5 Population, demographics

6 Meritocracy, Ministries
7 Politics, Democracy

8 Age writing
9 Age writing 2

10 Colonies: ARO & TAO & SVO
11 Colonies: IRO & NKO & ZAO
12 Thaulandi

13 Sports: football, baseball, gridiron, field hockey
14 Sports: others (rugby, handball, ice hockey, basketball, marathon), sports per state

15 History 1
16 History 2

17 Language
18 Language
Last edited by Ko-oren on Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
Trigramme: KOR - Demonym: Ko-orenite - Population: 27.270.096
Map - Regions - Factbooks
Spreadsheets - Domestic Sports Newswires
Champions 1x World Cup - 1x CoH - 1x CAFA - 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 4x World Bowl - 2x IBC - 4x RUWC - 3x RLWC - 1x GCF Test Cricket - 3x T20 WC - 1x AODICC - 2x ARWC - 1x FHWC - 1x HWC - 1x Beach Cup
Runners-up 1x World Cup - 4x CAFA - 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 3x World Bowl - 2x WCoH - 4x IBC - 2x RUWC - 1x GCF Test Cricket - 1x ODI WT - 3x T20 WC - 1x FraterniT20 - 1x WLC - 1x FHWC
Organisation & Hosting 3x WCC President - 1x WCOH President / 1x BoF - 2x CAFA - 1x World Bowl - 1x WCOH - 2x RUWC - 1x ODI WT - 1x T20 WC - 1x ARWC - 1x FHWC

User avatar
Tasrailia
Envoy
 
Posts: 223
Founded: Feb 09, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Tasrailia » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:18 am

The Kytler Peninsulae 2-3 Tasrailia
GK: Alex Permat (Hoberra)
DF: Matthew Norir (Devbourne)
DF: Ryan Eoaee (Devbourne)
DF: Mario Aoaoae (Launey)
DF: Riley Daian (Launey)
MF: Ryan Whincup (Burth)
MF: Timothy Mole (Devbourne)
MF: Michael Mole (Devbourne)
MF: James Blueberry (Hoberra)
FW: John Utaja (Burth)
FW: Robin Federer (Burth)


Tasrailia has taken their second win of the World Cup 65 qualifying with the goals coming from Michael Mole, Robin Federer and John Utaja. A brilliant victory and chances now the big different between the winner or loser.

Tasrailia 1-0 Vakolic
GK: Michael Simpson (Hoberra)
DF: Matthew Norir (Devbourne)
DF: Ryan Eoaee (Devbourne)
DF: Mario Aoaoae (Launey)
DF: Riley Daian (Launey)
MF: Ryan Whincup (Burth)
MF: Timothy Mole (Devbourne)
MF: Tom Dieaoe (Hoberra)
MF: James Blueberry (Hoberra)
FW: John Utaja (Burth)
FW: David Banrai (Hoberra)


The other three people who hasn’t got caps got their rainbow cap as they took on Vakolic who didn’t reveal their lineup. In an easy victory, Tasrailia will go up to rank 6 in Group 13 as the only goal came from Tom Dieaoe who was one of the rookies that went into the game.

User avatar
The Inevitable Syndicate
Diplomat
 
Posts: 719
Founded: Mar 28, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby The Inevitable Syndicate » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:47 am

Image

Carmadin? Carmadout!
26th June 12013

Wherever*, CARMADIN--- It seems the Syndicate are moving from strength to strength in the World Cup Qualifying, after a fantastic 1-0 victory against 102nd ranked Carmadin. It seems that the team were truly on form, even with the added pressure of performing well in front of a crowd that simply didn't like them. It seems that they may be trying to make up for their rough start, and I'll say it's working rather well.

Carmadin did us the pleasure of kicking off, and the game was centred around trying to stop their front men from making their way down to our end of the pitch. Of course, this early on in the game, mistakes were expected, and the opponent gracefully weaved their way right down to our end with no trouble at all. This really put the pressure on Dominic Archer, who (luckily) managed to keep on the shadows of the Carmadin strikers and save two attempts at goal within fifteen minutes. Of course, it wasn't just down our end of the pitch that epic manuvers were going on. Pratt made some ground on one occasion, about three minutes in, and volleyed a fantastic shot that just skimmed the crossbar. You could see the anguish in his eyes as he dropped to the floor, but within seconds he was back up and ready to go.

Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said about Ethan Sinclair. In the 26th minute, a timely dribble down the field was cut short by an interfering Camradin defender, who made a poor decision on the angle of his tackle. Sinclair tripped and fell badly, and rumours are speculating that he may be out for a good few games. Peter Howard was bought on in his place, and the game continued, with the offending defender being carded and sent off.

Some claim that this was actually a good thing, as the less tired Peter Howard managed to play the ball into some key spaces, the most important of which being his cross to Bradley Birch, who scored a blinder of a goal in the 32nd minute. This set the stage for some more attacking plays, but the opposing goalkeeper wisened up to out tactics and made some brilliant saves that redeemed him of his previous mistake.

The second half of the match saw more spectacles from the Syndicatian side, with close corners and flying free kicks had by both sides. Ultimately, it wasn't enough to increase our lead, however there were a few times when it was very close. Of course, the opponent was relentless in their attack, with Archer really feeling the pinch of the Carmadin two-pronged attack. So much so, Lloyd replaced him in the latter minutes of the match, and luckily our defence managed to keep the ball clear of our goal. As the game drew to a close, the Carmadin side waned a little, but they still had fire in their bellies for another day. Final Score: Carmadin 0 - 1 The Inevitable Syndicate

The Inevitable Syndicate
:: Goalscorers ::
:: '32 Bradley Birch
Carmadin
:: Goalscorers ::
:: N/A None

-----  Group 20                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1 Image Equestrian States 7 5 2 0 19 8 +11 17
2 Image Bears Armed 7 5 1 1 19 9 +10 16
3 Image The Inevitable Syndicate 7 4 1 2 12 7 +5 13
4 Image Brenecia 7 4 1 2 9 9 0 13
5 Image Sudagiu 7 3 2 2 15 12 +3 11
6 Image The Islands of Qutar 7 3 2 2 14 11 +3 11
7 Image Carmadin 7 3 1 3 14 10 +4 10
8 Image Free Republics 7 2 0 5 10 14 -4 6
9 Image Tantamir 7 0 2 4 5 11 −6 2
10 Image Omarios 7 0 0 7 5 26 −21 0


This win has finally put us where we expected to be all along; third in the group, which was our seed number. We seem to have leapfrogged two spots from our opponents, after Sudagiu failed to win against those ever-illusive ponies of the Equestrian States. This puts in with a stab at second, as we're only three points away. If the Bear-Belles (for some unknown reason) fail to win a few games that we win, we could easily push them down the table and be in with a shot at qualifying. We face Sudagiu on the next matchday, back at the Flynn Arena: will this now disheartened side prove easy to beat, or will they put up a challenge as vengeance? I guess we'll have to find out...

Freddie Johnson
ILN Sports

*Data Unavailable
Image
The Inevitable Syndicate - Host of World Cup 66 with Audioslavia
Precursor to Mertagne (same user) and Euran Oceania Territories (IC)

User avatar
Neo Lemmitania
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 64
Founded: May 23, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Neo Lemmitania » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:13 am

Welcome to the seventh qualifying match of the sixty-fifth World Cup of football, coming to you tonight from the adequate Lemming Field in Lemmington, the nation’s capitol. I’m your host, Shemp Wooley, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, and I’m joined for the broadcast by the inexplicably popular Gil Lemson and his partner in crime, Clem Gilson. ‘Gentlemen,’ as they say, welcome to the programme.

Clem: Thanks, Shemp. Good to be here.

Gil: Greetin’s, Shemp, old Dean.

Shemp: Do not call me that, Lemson.

Gil: Why not? You’re the Dean, ain’t you?

Shemp: You know I am. Okay, it’s a few minute before kickoff, is there any point in asking whether you two have any thoughts on the World Cup qualifiers so far?

Clem: I have thoughts. Not all of us are paying no attention.

Gil: ‘ey! I ain’t not payin’ attention!

Clem: Meaning you are paying attention?

Gil: Yeh.

Clem: To the World Cup?

Gil: Absolovely.

Clem: Abso what?

Gil: Lurveley.

Clem: Aha. So what are your thoughts on the World Cup qualifiers to date?

Gil: Wull, I notice so far we ain’t played any anthropomorphic animals. Unless you count those eels from a couple weeks ago.

Clem: Those were humans from the nation of Aels. No eels, I told you.

Gil: Right. Very ‘uman-lookin’ they were, too. An’ I tell you another thing: that game last week was somethin’ else.

Clem: You saw last week’s game against IOM Sports Association?

Shemp: Yeah, he ‘saw’ it, all right. We talked about it on Shemp’s Corner. I’m not sure what reality he’s a part of, though.

Clem: Well, I’m impressed.

Gil: Oh, you’re always runnin’ around bein’ impressed with me.

Clem: Hmm. Don’t know that I’d say that.

Gil: Sure you would.

Shemp: No one’s impressed with you, Lemson. Gilson, any thoughts on today’s matchup?

Clem: Well, I have to tell you, every time I think about today’s opponent I get a headache. isn’t that weird? Sort of a painful dizziness, like my Deja Vu was going into overdrive.

Shemp: Yes, that’s very strange. Maybe there’s something wrong with your brain.

Clem: Gil suggested that a few weeks ago, but I don’t think so. I think there’s something weird about the Brittanian football team.

Shemp: Yes, well, I hate to suggest that you’re dying or anything, but which seems likelier: that there’s something ‘weird’ about the Europa Brittania football team that’s causing you to get Deja Vu and headaches, or that you have a brain tumor?

Clem: Brain tumor. When you put it that way. Thanks for that.

Shemp: Oh, you want me to comfort you? Hey there, Gilson, I’m sure you don’t have a brain tumor. Feel better?

Clem: Yeah, thanks for the sarcasm.

Shemp: No problem. Want to talk about the matchup?

Clem: Yeah, although it hurts me to do so. Literally. Europa Brittania’s in eighth place in the group, on five points with a win and two draws in six matches. They used to be a major football power, even having won the World Cup back in antiquity, but they’ve been gone from the international sporting scene for many years. When they announced their return for this Cup, there was a lot of interest in the international community, speculation about how interesting it would be having such an ‘old-time’ nation returning to the fray, but they really haven’t lived up to the hype so far. They participated in the Baptism of Fire but honestly seemed like they could barely be bothered to show up, and they’ve been stumbling through Group Five in the Cup qualifiers, so far. Almost as if they weren’t here. It would be fascinating to see them wake up and really start to participate but thus far, I’ve been disappointed.

Shemp: Yes, I know what you mean. If they were bringing their game, it would have been interesting to see the Lemmings go up against them. Seeing as we’ve never played international football before in the history of our nation.

Gil: Yeh, no World Cup wins back in antiquity for us. Nossir.

Clem: Yike. Wow.

Gil: You okay, Clem?

Clem: It’s my head. For a moment there I felt like I was gonna pass out.

Shemp: I think you should go get a CAT scan.

Gil: Wot? Why would ‘e need to ‘ave ‘is cat scanned?

Shemp: A CAT scan. An x-ray of his brain.

Gil: An x-ray of ‘is cat’s brain?

Shemp: No, his brain. Gilson’s.

Gil: Waitaminit. Shemp, are you suggestin’ that Clem should ‘ave ‘is brain x-rayed by ‘is cat?

Shemp: It has nothing to do with cats!

Gil: But you just said--

Shemp: A brain x-ray! It’s called a CAT scan!

Gil: Oh, is it? Why do they call it that?

Shemp: I don’t know! It’s an acronym for something!

Gil: Cancer An’ Tumor?

Shemp: What?

Gil: Cancer An’ Tumor: C.A.T. Is that wot it stands for?

Shemp: I don’t know. Who cares?

Gil: Wull, I do. I ‘ardly think it’s a good idea for Clem to be goin’ an’ gettin’ x-rays blasted into ‘is brain.

Shemp: Why not?

Gil: Because it’ll prolly kill ‘im, in the long run. They don’t call it a Cancer An’ Tumor radiation blaster for nothin’, Shemp.

Clem: I’m touched that you care, Gil.

Gil: Anyroad, it wouldn’t reveal nothin’.

Clem: How do you know that?

Gil: Oh, er, wull, best not to talk about that.

Clem: Oh no, not more of this.

Shemp: And with the referee bringing the ball to midfield for the kickoff, I’ll be signing off until halftime. Good luck.

Clem: Europa Brittania’s won the cointoss, so they’re starting with possession. I don’t have their roster-- I‘m telling you, for such a celebrated return, they’re really doing it in halfassed fashion.

Gil: Mebbe they should be called the Halfassedstates.

Clem: What? Say that again.

Gil: No... best not to.

Clem: So I don’t know who their players are, although I can make out the names Nils and Blanco on their strikers’ shirts. You know, I looked in at the visiting press booth before we went on air, just to say hi, but they hadn’t even sent a single reporter to observe the game.

Gil: They ‘ate football in Europa Brittania, that’s wot it is.

Clem: They ate a football? What?

Gil: ‘ate. ‘ate. Can’t you ‘ear me sayin’ the aitch at the beginning of the word?

Clem: Oh, you’re saying hate. No, I couldn’t make that out.

Gil: Speakin’ of which, you know wot I ‘ate?

Clem: What did you eat?

Gil: ‘ate!! ‘ATE!! Oy, it’s like talkin’ to a foreigner sometimes.

Clem: Oh, you’re asking if I know what you hate?

Gil: Yes! You know wot I hhhhhhhhate?

Clem: Don’t spit on the mic.

Gil: It’s the only way to make that weird aitch sound.

Clem: No it’s not. Look: hhhhhhhhhh.

Gil: Don’t go all breathey on me, now.

Clem: Yeah, right. What is it you hhhhate?

Gil: Walkin’.

Clem: Oh, thanks for sharing. Roger and Wilco Rosco have the ball, by the way, on the right side. I always like watching those guys play. They’re very like-minded.

Gil: Bein’ twins. Anyroad, as I was sayin’--

Clem: Yeah, being twins. Though it can be hard telling them apart.

Gil: That’s because you’re not very observant. Anyway, to get back to me antidote--

Clem: I’m not very observant? You can’t tell Mick Chang from Mick Mickelson!

Gil: Oh, those guys’re identical.

Clem: No, actually, Roger and Wilco Rosco are identical. Chang and Mickelson aren’t even the same ethnicity.

Gil: Look. You see that one ‘oo just kicked the ball into the goal? That’s Roger.

Clem: That’s Wilc-- no, you’re right, that’s Roger. First goal of the match, folks, coming very early on a bullet from the right side of the box by Roger Rosco. Right past a diving-- whatever his name is.

Gil: That’s Cypher.

Clem: How would you know the Brittanian keeper’s name?

Gil: Read ‘is shirt, Clem.

Clem: Weird name for a guy.

Gil: Mebbe ‘e’s a gal.

Clem: Weird name for a person.

Gil: Mebbe ‘e ain’t a person. Lots of people ain’t.

Clem: Oh, you mean like the Horses and the Ponies and the Bears and everything? ...What? You’re giving me a blank look.

Gil: Just dunno wot you’re talkin’ about.

Clem: Huh. Anyway, they’ve walked back to midfield and Nils is kicking it off again.

Gil: Right, walkin’. That reminds me of wot I was going to say.

Clem: Okay, tell us what you have to say about walking. But I’m telling you, this better not be another advertisement!

Gil: When have I ever advertisemented?

Clem: If that were a word, you’d have done it all over our last broadcast.

Gil: Okay, but seein’ as it ain’t a word, I could ‘ardly ‘ave done it. But you know wot I did do?

Clem: No, what did you do, Gil?

Gil: Drove to work in me wonnerful new Model Q42 motorcar made by the clever people at Synclair Automotive. It’s the ‘eight of luxury in compac’ cars, with two seats in the front plus an extra one in the back in case you ‘ave a dead body to lug around the city. Bein’ made in The Inevitable Syndicate, where wheels ain’t in such short supply as they are ‘ere in Neo Lemmitania, they went a’ead an’ put four of ‘em on, an’ even went so far as to include inflated rubber tyres, already affixed to the rims. Now that I ‘ave my Model Q42 from Synclair Automotive, I’ll prolly never walk again!

Clem: …

Gil: Ain’t you gonna bawl me out for that important message, Clem?

Clem: You know, that actually sounds a lot better than the crappy three-wheeled pieces of junk ELC makes. Where did you say you got it?

Gil: Wull, technically, mine was airlifted to me direct from The Inevitable Syndicate. But I assume they’re gonna start sellin’ ‘em ‘ere in Neo Lemmitania. I’ll check that out and get back to you.

Clem: Yeah, do that. So wait, does this mean your solicitations for foreign corporations to pay you to hawk their products on air is actually getting you something?

Gil: It got me a car. A nice one, too. An a glove compartment full of cash-- Oop! Prolly shouldn’t mention that. Can we jus’ strike that from the broadcast, Sally?

Clem: This is live radio. Once you’ve said it, it’s unstrikeable. And there’s probably some idiot out there transcribing all this on the interweb as we speak.

Gil: Oh, wull, then, wot I said was, ‘a glove compartment full of grass.’ It jus’ sounded like I said ‘cash.’

Clem: Grass? Like marijuana? That’s illegal in Neo Lemmitania.

Gil: Oh, does grass mean marijuana? Then I di’n’t say that. Wot I said was, ‘a glove compartment full of ‘ash.’

Clem: Hash? Like hashish? Opium? That’ll get you an even bigger sentence than marijuana!

Gil: Did you ‘ear me say an aitch on the beginning of that word?

Clem: I never hear you say an ‘h’ on the beginning of any word.

Gil: Right, then in that case I said ash, like wot you get when you burn up a glove compartment full of grass.

Clem: Utterly stoned is what you get when you burn up a glove compartment full of grass. And if you were going to do that, I wish you’d have let me know in advance.

Gil: Wull, sorry. I’ll try an’ think of that nex’ time.

Clem: You know, speaking of idiots transcribing things on the interweb...

Gil: ...yeh?

Clem: What we were talking about on the last broadcast...

Gil: ...yeh?

Clem: I was just going to tell you about something I’d read that was very peculiar...

Gil: Wull, so far so good, but mebbe you want to not talk about that?

Clem: Maybe I don’t. Then again, maybe I do.

Gil: Lemme know when you’ve made up your mind which it is.

Clem: Would I be bringing it up if I didn’t want to talk about it?

Gil: You’re allus bringin’ things up that you don’t wanna talk about.

Clem: Oh yeah? Like what?

Gil: Oh, I dunno. Like me wonnerful new LemmingMulcher(tm) from ACME Lemming Corp.

Clem: No more advertisements!

Gil: I ain’t advertismentin’. I’m just provin’ a point.

Clem: What point?

Gil: That you allus bring up things you don’t wanna talk about!

Clem: I didn’t bring up the LemmingMulcher. You brought it up. In the form of a complete non-sequitur, too.

Gil: Well, Clem, your flat may not be infested with lemmings...

Clem: I certainly hope it isn’t.

Gil: But some of us don’t live in such ‘igh an’ mighty luxury condoparmentis. For those of us common folk wot live in ordinary ‘ousin’, overwhelmin’ lemming infestations are the norm. An’ for those of us ‘oo got more lemmings than we know wot to do with in our flats, the LemmingMulcher is the perfec’ solution! It’s made one hunnerd percent right ‘ere in Neo Lemmitania from parts left over from the refurbished refrigerator factory.

Clem: You know, ACME Lemming Corp’s products are even worse than ELC’s.

Gil: Wot’s that, Clem? Did you jus’ ask me ‘ow it works?

Clem: No. No, I said nothing like that at all.

Gil: Wull, I’d be ‘appy to explain it to you. All you do is fit a lemming into the feeder ‘ose on the front of the LemmingMulcher, flip the switch, an’ voila! It sucks it right in!

Clem: You can’t suck a lemming through a hose.

Gil: No, I can’t. But the LemmingMulcher can. It’s just that wonnerful. An’ it can also crunch the lemming up into the most nutritious mulch money can buy.

Clem: Nutritious? You’re supposed to eat it?

Gil: Ugh, no, that’d be disgustin’. Although, come to think of it, lemmin’ mulch is made of the same ingredients as lemmin’ dogs.

Clem: Which are beyond disgusting.

Gil: True, true. I much prefer LemmingFishBalls. Did I ever tell you about me LemmingFishBaller(tm) from ACME Lemming Corp?

Clem: Yes, three weeks ago, when you were shilling them on the air.

Gil: Ah. Where was I?

Clem: Where were you when? When you were advertising for LemmingFishBallers? You were right here in the booth.

Gil: No, I mean I lost the thread of me story. Oh yeh, I was tellin’ you about ‘ow great LemmingMulch is. So after the LemmingMulcher finishes its work, all you ‘ave to do is scrape the mulch out of the receptacle, and spread it about in your garden!

Clem: You have to scrape the ground up lemming out of a receptacle? Now, that’s disgusting.

Gil: You get used to it after the first time. So go buy a LemmingMulcher today!

Clem: That was a pretty half-assed advertisement. Speaking of half-assedness.

Gil: Yeh, I wasn’t feelin’ it for that one. I’m not so excited about me LemmingMulcher as I am about me Q42.

Clem: Is it parked in the lot?

Gil: Right outside Gate Seven.

Clem: You’ll have to show me at halftime.

Gil: Why wait for ‘alftime?

Clem: Because we’re in the middle of calling the match.

Gil: I believe it’s time for the mandatory fifteen minutes in honor of Shemp, actually.

Clem: Okay, let’s go.

User avatar
Neo Lemmitania
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 64
Founded: May 23, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Neo Lemmitania » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:14 am

Gil: Wull, folks, anything ‘appen whilst we were gone?

Clem: How would they know?

Gil: They might ‘ave heard cheerin’ in the background. Or booin’.

Clem: Hey Mike, can you hand me the stats? I need to bring the listeners up to speed after the mandatory Shemp break. Sorry if that was a little longer than fifteen minutes, by the way, folks.

Gil: Clem insisted on takin’ me new Q42 for a li’le test spin around the parkin’ lot.

Clem: It’s got real pickup. What did you say it runs on?

Gil: Petrol.

Clem: Wow, they should make Neo Lemmitanian cars with internal combustion engines. That’s really a step up from the power you get producing steam by burning lemmings.

Gil: They’re very clever that way in the Inevitable Syndicate.

Clem: So, getting back to the game at hand, it looks like not much action since that early goal by Rosco. A couple of shots by Bingson, one by Henneman, one by the Brittanian striker Blanco. And, er, that seems to close out the first half. I guess that really was a little more than fifteen minutes.

Shemp: Well, so the two of you beat me into the booth for the halftime report.

Gil: Not by much.

Clem: We’ve been here the whole first half!

Shemp: Sure you have.

Clem: You don’t actually listen to the game when you’re out of the booth, do you, Shemp?

Shemp: Are you kidding me? It’s bad enough I have to work with you two at the beginning and end of the game and for twenty minutes at halftime. I’m not going to listen to your asinine ravings for ninety minutes.

Gil: No one is. Not for ninety minutes.

Shemp: Why, is there something I should know?

Clem: No, no. You’re not missing anything. I was just curious.

Shemp: Great. So what did you think of the first half?

Clem: A bit slow. Nice start with that early goal, but then not much happened.

Shemp: Yeah, I got the feeling Lemster was holding the guys back, just kind of resting them. This is an opponent that’s not going to present much of a threat, and with the two top teams in the group coming up I think he wants the boys to take it easy today.

Gil: Say, Shemp, you ‘ave a car?

Shemp: Sure I do.

Gil: Wot kind?

Shemp: A Mucho Roadster from ELC.

Gil: Oh, a Mucho Roadster, of course.

Shemp: Wipe the contempt out of your voice, Lemson. What’s wrong with a Mucho Roadster? It’s the fanciest auto ELC makes.

Gil: Sure, the fanciest one ELC makes. Wot’s it run on? Rubber bands?

Shemp: It has a lemming-powered flywheel, for your information. Gets nearly four kilometers to the lemming.

Clem: What happens after four kilometers?

Shemp: Every four kilometers or so the lemming drops dead of exhaustion and you have to put a new one in.

Gil: So you ‘ave to carry around a bin full of lemmings in your car?

Shemp: Yes, of course I do. It’s the standard fuel in Neo Lemmitania, as I’m sure you’re aware. Seeing as you’ve lived your whole life here.

Gil: Yes, yes, I’m aware of that. Just seems like there must be a better way.

Shemp: What the hell does this have to do with football?

Clem: Gil’s just trying to lord it over you that he has a new gasoline-powered automobile.

Shemp: He has? Aren’t those illegal in Neo Lemmitania?

Clem: Who knows? Can you keep track of all the stupid legislation they pass here?

Shemp: To be fair, no, I can’t. Well, that’s great, Lemson. Thanks for stinking up our air with burning gasoline fumes.

Gil: Thanks for stinkin’ up our air with burnin’ lemming fumes.

Shemp: My car doesn’t burn lemmings, thank you very much. As I explained, it has a flywheel, which gets its momentum from the lemming running ‘round in the lemmingwheel.

Clem: What do you do with the lemmings once they die of exhaustion?

Shemp: They’re recycled.

Gil: Hah. I bet you’re one of those people ‘oo jus’ throw their used lemmings on the ground an’ leave ‘em.

Shemp: Lemson, you’re cruising for a bruising.

Gil: Yeh?

Clem: Okay, you two, cool down. Wow, you know what?

Gil: Wot, clem?

Clem: The two of you fighting just doubled my Deja Vu. Have you done that before?

Shemp: All the time.

Clem: Have you actually threatened him before, though?

Shemp: No, that I haven’t done.

Clem: So why do I feel like you have?

Gil: You ‘ave an active imagination, Clem.

Clem: This is all tied up in whatever it is you aren’t telling me, isn’t it?

Shemp: Are you hiding something, Lemson?

Gil: From Clem? Never!

Clem: He’s not hiding it, he’s just refusing to tell.

Gil: Tell wot?

Clem: That’s what I want to know!

Shemp: What’s this all about?

Gil: Ain’t it time for a word from our sponsor?

Shemp: Is it? Sally? All right, then.

Voiceover: How often has this happened to you, Mr or Ms Neo Lemmitania?

Little Billy: Mom! Mommmmmm! I’m late for Lemming Hammer practice!

Mom: Oh dear! Look at how the time has flown. Here it is already four o’clock; how am I ever going to get you all the way across town to the Lemming Hammer clinic?

Little Billy: We could take the bus, I guess.

Mom: No, the bus is for losers.

Little Billy: People who rise the bus smell bad.

Mom: Yes, I’ve heard that. Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to walk the seven kilometers.

Little Billy: But that’ll take days!

Mom: Probably. Better get started. At least I don’t have to waste time locking the door, since I blew up the house with a Homeradicator. Thank goodness we live in a crater now.

Voiceover: Say, Mrs Neo Lemmitania, have you ever thought of driving Little Billy to Lemming Hammer practice?

Mom: Driving him? You mean, in a car?

Voiceover: That’s exactly what I mean!

Mom: No. Never.

Voiceover: Well, maybe it’s time you thought about it. Because the Electric Lemming Corporation has made owning your own automobile more affordable than anyone ever thought could ever be possible in a million years.

Mom: They have? How have they done that?

Voiceover: By introducing the new DiscountRoadster(tm)!

Mom: The DiscountRoadster? Well, it sounds great, but what is it?

Voiceover: Why, just the greatest, cheapest car ever made.

Mom: How cheap is it?

Voiceover: Would you believe me if I told you it’s only five thousand neo-lemmings?

Mom: Sure I would. But I bet you could go cheaper than that!

Voiceover: How about twenty-five hundred?

Mom: Getting better, but that’s still three months’ wages.

Voiceover: What would you say to a thousand?

Mom: I’d say I’d have to save up for a year to afford that!

Voiceover: What if I told you five hundred?

Mom: Now we’re getting somewhere.

Voiceover: So you’d pay five hundred?

Mom: Not unless I won the lottery.

Voiceover: What about two fifty?

Mom: Getting closer.

Voiceover: One hundred?

Mom: For a hundred, I’d consider it.

Voiceover: What about thirty-eight fifty?

Mom: Thirty-eight neo-lemmings and fifty cents?

Voiceover: That’s right.

Mom: Well, if you said that, I’d say, ‘Wowee!’

Voiceover: Then get ready to say “Wowee,” because ELC is selling the DiscountRoadster for the special introductory price of just thirty-eight hundred and fifty neo-lemmings!

Mom: Wowee! Wait a minute. How much did you say?

Voiceover: Thirty-eight fifty. just sign here.

Mom: Oh, okay...

Voiceover: Now, go ahead and drive Little Billy to his Lemming Hammer lesson!

Mom: Does it happen to come with driving instructions? I’ve never driven before.

Voiceover: The DiscountRoadster is so easy to drive, you don’t even need to learn how! Just throw a lemming into the furnace, get behind the wheel, and take off like a bat out of hell!

Mom: What’s it made out of?

Voiceover: One hundred percent genuine lemming-based polystyrene!

Mom: Oh, good, that sounds... safe?

Voiceover: You bet it does!

Mom: Get in, Billy.

Little Billy: I don’t want to ride in a plastic car.

Voiceover: It’s not plastic, Billy, it’s polymer!

Mom: See? It’s safe.

Little Billy: Are you sure you know how to drive this?

Mom: Don’t question your mother, Billy. Anyway, how hard can it be? I see other moms driving their kids around.

Voiceover: Yes, that’s right! Don’t be the only mom on the block without a car!

Little Billy: What’s that smell?

Mom: That’s burning lemming.

Little Billy: Oh, I thought it smelled like dinner.

Mom: Shut up and get in.

Voiceover: Yes, you too can own your very own DiscountRoadster from the Electric Lemming Corporation for the low low introductory price of just thirty-eight fifty. Stop by your nearest dealer and sign up today!

Shemp: Wow, that was a long message.

Gil: A DiscountRoadster, is that wot you said you ‘ave, Shemp?

Shemp: No, I said I have a Mucho Roadster.

Gil: Wull, I ‘ope for your sake it’s better than one of those pieces of junk we just ‘eard about.

Shemp: It’s top of the line. Though DiscountRoadsters are also a great option for people on a budget.

Gil: Sure they are. You know wot I’ve got?

Shemp: No.

Gil: A model Q42 from Synclair Automotive.

Shemp: I’ve never heard of Synclair Automotive.

Gil: It’s in the Inevitable Syndicate. They’re about to start sellin’ ‘em in Neo Lemmitania.

Shemp: Great, bully for them.

Gil: ‘ow many wheels ‘as your car got?

Shemp: The usual number.

Gil: So three, then?

Shemp: That’s right.

Gil: Mine ‘as four.

Shemp: Four wheels? What do you need four wheels for?

Gil: Gives it extra stability.

Clem: It corners like you wouldn’t believe, Shemp. I went around turns at ten kilometers an hour and it didn’t even flip over.

Shemp: You did? You’ve driven his car?

Gil: Sure ‘e did, jus’ before the ‘alftime break.

Clem: Ixnay, Gil!

Shemp: Just before the halftime break? When you were in the booth calling the game?

Clem: He’s confused, Shemp. We were driving his car around before the game.

Shemp: Oh, is that right? So you never left the booth?

Clem: Right.

Gil: Never.

Shemp: Hmm. Well, seeing as the referee is coming out for the second half kickoff, I’ll choose not to pursue it.

Gil: Good choice.

Shemp: Hmm. All right, I’m leaving until the end game. No screwing around.

Gil: Never, Shemp.

Clem: So kicking it off to start the second half is Bing Bingson, with the Lemmings ahead one-nil on a very early goal by Roger Rosco. Bingson passes to Henneman, and we’re underway.

Gil: An’ they proceed to kick, kick, kick, an’ run. ‘ow excitin’.

Clem: So if you don’t want to talk about that, how about if you fill me in on what’s going on with this very interesting information I gleaned off the interweb three weeks ago?

Gil: You act as if I know wot you gleaned off the interweb three weeks ago.

Clem: You’ve been acting like you know what I gleaned off the interweb three weeks ago.

Gil: No, I ‘ave no idea wot you’ve been reading.

Clem: Then I’ll tell you.

Gil: No-- okay, Clem, I think I can guess wot you’ve been readin’. An’ I’d just advise you not to mention it. Nor for any other Neo Lemmitanians ‘oo may ‘appen to be listenin’ to go out and reproduce your research.

Clem: How can they when they don’t even know yet what I’ve been reading about?

Gil: They’d best just use their imaginations. Or, rather, not use ‘em.

Clem: This is exasperating. Why can’t you tell me whatever it is you think you know?

Gil: You remember wot ‘appened last broadcast?

Clem: Not really. I remember starting the second half and then blacking out and all of a sudden Shemp was there and the game was over.

Gil: An ‘e didn’t even notice nothin’ strange ‘ad ‘appened, did ‘e?

Clem: No, he didn’t seem to.

Gil: Don’t that strike you as peculiar?

Clem: Sure. So tell me what’s going on.

Gil: Oy. You’re wearin’ down me nerves, Clem.

Clem: Come on! You of all people, keeping a secret...

Gil: ‘ey! I kept a secret for years an’ years.

Clem: What secret?

Gil: That would be tellin.

Clem: Okay, I’m just going to say what I read on the interweb.

Gil: Don’t!

Clem: I was boogling the history of Neo Lemmitanian sports. But I accidentally left off the ‘Neo’. And you know what I found?

Gil: Yes. Yes, I do.

Clem: Oh yeah? What did I find?

Gil: I’d rather not say.

Clem: The nation of ‘Lemmitania’ used to play in the World Cup way back two hundred years ago!

Gil: Gee, ‘ow weird.

Clem: That’s not the weird part.

Gil: I know it ain’t.

Clem: Okay, then, you tell me. What’s the weird part?

Gil: Okay, seein’ as ‘ow we’re still ‘ere an’ ain’t been beamed to the end of the match or into the twilight zone or nothin’ so far, I’m gonna take a chance. A right big chance. I’m gonna assume that they ain’t listenin’ for the moment, for wotever reason. An’ I’m gonna tell you wot you wanna ‘ear.

Clem: Great, go for it.

Gil: You an’ me used to call the matches for Lemmitania back two ‘unnerd years ago.

Clem: So the interweb would have us believe, anyway.

Gil: Yes, Clem. The innerweb never tells a lie. We did used to call the games for Lemmitania.

Clem: How is that possible? I have no memory of that. And I’m only forty years old!

Gil: ‘ere, Clem. I am gonna tell you ‘ow that is possible. And then, in all likeli’ood, somethin’ less than good is gonna ‘appen as a result. But let’s take a chance an’ see.

Clem: Great, lay it on me.

Gil: I can tell you till ‘arbor some skepticism.

Clem: I have an open mind.

Gil: Okay. You remember Morpheus?

Clem: Is that a country?

Gil: That’s a person.

Clem: I never met anyone named Morpheus.

Gil: I di’n’t think you’d remember ‘im. Hmm, ‘ow best to explain? Morpheus moves between the worlds.

Clem: How metaphysical. Wait, isn’t that the Greek god of dreams or something? This has something to do with dreams?

Gil: In a sense. But the Morpheus I’m talkin’ about ain’t the Greek god of nothin’. ‘e’s more like a rebel leader.

Clem: I’m not following you.

Gil: I’m not explainin’ it very well. Okay, see, there’s two diff’rent worlds. The real world, and the ‘dream’ world, if you will, of the Nationstate. Morpheus can move at will between the worlds.

Clem: Oookay. So what’s the dream world got to do with us?

Gil: It’s the one we’re occupyin’ right now.

Clem: Oh, so we’re dreaming now? Is that what you’re telling me?

Gil: That’s a li’le bit of a metaphor, but yes, the world we’re experiencin’ at this very moment is an illusion. See, there was this war against the Machine. Long long time ago. An’ we lost. An’ the machines ‘ave enslaved us. So right now each of us is actually not ‘ere in this stadium watchin’ a football game, but in reality our bodies are floatin’ in vats someplace, ‘ooked up to lots of wires an’ wotnot, our bodies bein’ siphoned for electricity by the Machine, whilst our brains are plugged into the massive shared dream of the Nationstate.

Clem: I see.

Gil: I can tell you’re still skeptical, Clem.

Clem: A little bit. And how is it that you know about all this?

Gil: That’s where Morpheus comes in. ‘e is, as I said, a sort of rebel leader. Unlike the rest of us, ‘e ain’t livin’ in a jar somewhere plugged into the Nationstate. He runs free in the desolate remains of the real world, fightin’ the Machine’s scary flyin’ robot squid army an’ tryin’ to free other souls from the Nationstate. ‘e goes through the population one by one, as the opportunity arises, an’ offers ‘em the chance to break free of the Nationstate.

Clem: How does he do that, if everybody’s floating in vats, hooked up to machines?

Gil: Not machines, Clem. The Machine. The very one Zach de la Rocha used to rage against - although I’m quite certain there ain’t time for that story at this juncture.

Clem: Whatever, how does this Morpheus guy talk to you when you’re in a vat living a dream life in the “Nationstate?”

Gil: ‘e does that by enterin’ the Nationstate ‘imself. Like I said, ‘e can move between the worlds.

Clem: Uh-huh. And how does he do that?

Gil: ‘e ‘as a flyin’ ‘overship which ‘e an’ ‘is crew of ‘appy-go-lucky rebels pilot aroun’, evadin’ the scary robot squid army an’ rescuin’ folks. An’ inside that ‘overship ‘e ‘as a device which they can use to plug into the Nationstate.

Clem: I see. So he comes in and encourages people to break out of the vat?

Gil: Not exac’ly, but close enough. You’ve met ‘im, although you don’t remember it. ‘ere’s ‘ow it works: Morpheus comes to you, when ‘e feels you’re ready an’ when, as I said, the opportunity arises, an’ ‘e tells you the truth about the devastated real world where your body floats in a vat, an’ about the lie of the Nationstate. An’ ‘e offers you two pills, Clem, a blue pill, an’ a red pill. You can choose to take either pill, and which pill you select determines your fate. If you take the blue pill, you wake up in the Nationstate, seemingly the same as you were before, but with all memory erased of Morpheus an’ everything ‘e ‘as told you. On the other ‘and, if you take the red pill, you wake up in a vat, floating in a gargantuan vat-farm, attended by scary flyin’ squid robots, with breathin’ an’ feedin’ tubes down your throat an wires ‘ooked up all over you. An’ then Morpheus an’ ‘is crew bust you out an’ take you away in their ‘overship, an’ you become a rebel an’ spend the rest of your life fightin’ the Machine.

Clem: I don’t remember anything like that.

Gil: That, Clem, is because you took the blue pill.

Clem: I see. And you, I take it, took the red pill?

Gil: An’ spend the rest of me life in a ‘overship fightin’ scary robot squids? Why would I wanna do that?

Clem: So you took the blue pill too? Then how is it that you know all this?

Gil: Wull, actually, right at the moment Morpheus offered me the pills, ‘e got distracted by a phone call. So I just went a’ead an’ took both of ‘em.

Clem: You took both pills.

Gil: That’s right, the blue an’ the red both.

Clem: And so as a result...

Gil: I live ‘ere in the comfort of the Nationstate along with all other right-thinkin’ people, but I also don’t.

Clem: Uh-huh.

Gil: So when they do somethin’ like zap us forty minutes into the future to stop you spillin’ the beans about somethin’ they don’t want you to say, I, unlike you, remember wot ‘appened. Also I remember all those games we called back two ‘unnerd years ago.

Clem: I don’t get that part, how is it that we’re two hundred years old, even assuming the rest of your story is believable, which it’s not?

Gil: Oh, we’re not two ‘unnerd. Keep in mind the Nationstate is a dream. They can control it an’ move you around. There was some crazy shite ‘appenin’ towards the end, ‘ellmouths openin’ up an wotnot. The rebels started a wacky country called ‘Gilmeecia’ an’ were makin’ trouble out of it. The Agents decided it’d be best to just zap the ‘ole world forward a couple ‘unnerd years and start us over again. ‘it the reset button, as it were.

Clem: Who are the ‘Agents’?

Gil: They’re the Machine’s avatars in the Nationstate. Sort of scary dudes like this fellow ‘ere.

Smith: Hello, Mr. Lemson.

Gil: ‘ello, Agent Smif.

Clem: What the-- where the hell did he come from?

Gil: Oh, they jus’ pop in like that. Kind of disconcertin’, I’ll agree.

Smith: What have you... been talking about, Mr. Lemson?

Clem: Why does he talk like that? Like he has a mouthful of marbles and no inflection in his voice?

Gil: Because ‘e’s an artifical intelligence. That’s wot they sound like. An’ to answer your question, Smif, I ain’t been talkin’ about nothin’.

Smith: Meaning you have been talking about... something.

Clem: Hey, this Smif guy is sharp.

Smith: It’s ‘Smith,’ Mr.... Gilson.

Clem: Oh, sorry. You know, nobody believes anything Gil says.

Smith: I am aware of Mr Lemson’s... reputation. It is one of the reasons we... allow him... to continue. But heed my warning... Mr. Lemson... you have very nearly crossed a line. You must watch yourself. Remember, if you will... that we know where you are.

Gil: Right, sorry, Agent Smif. Di’n’t mean to spill any beans there.

Smith: Your contrition... is noted.

Clem: Whoa, what the-- where did he go?

Gil: Oh, ‘e jus’ popped into the ether. It’s ‘ow the Agents roll.

Clem: That was utterly bizarre--

Shemp: Hey, two in a row!

Clem: What? Shemp, you’re here already? The second half’s just started! Two what in a row?

Shemp: Two games in a row you managed to make it to the end of the broadcast without passing out or going missing. Though it sounds like you’re just as confused as you were at the end of the last game.

Clem: But the second half just started!

Gil: That’s a warning from Agent Smif, Clem. Pointin’ out that we’d better stay on the straight an’ narrow.

Shemp: I’m just going to ignore you two and give the game recap. The Lemmings win it one-nil on a goal by Roger Rosco at the three minute mark. Yellow cards on Joey Lemstater and Dale Hartford of the Lemmings; Blanco and Null of the Brittanians. Coach Lemster had the boys play it easy after that early goal, against a Europa Brittanian side that barely even seemed to exist. So the Lemmings now with an impressive sixteen points in seven matches in the World Cup qualifiers, and the two toughest matches coming up. Any final thoughts on the match, guys?

Clem: No, not really.

Gil: Remember, the Model Q42 from Synclair Automotive! Coming soon to an automodealer near you!

Shemp: Great, thanks for that ad.

Gil: That were never an ‘ad,’ Shemp. Just remindin’ folks.

Shemp: Fine, whatever. For Clem Gilson and Gil Lemson, this is Shemp Wooley, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian sports bidding you good night.

User avatar
Horusland
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21546
Founded: May 11, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Horusland » Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:00 am

Image
A Surprising Result
Sargossa 3 - 2 HorusLand


A great match, yesterday, between the HorusLandian Wolves and The Sargossan Corsairs. The match ended with a loss for HorusLand, but still, with hope for scoring once again. The Wolves did fairly well against the 27th ranked team, scoring twice.

The first goal was given by our star player, Altaan Narek, just seven minutes after the beginning of the game, followed by a goal scored by Sargossan player Mariano Estrada. Before the end of the first half, Santtu Virtanen had scored another goal, thus bringing the score to 2-1 for HorusLand in the first half.

But after a great start, disaster struck. Altaan Narek had received a red card for injuring Sargossan player Sebastián Canteros. He escaped with no major injury, but the HorusLandian player was eliminated for the rest of the game. During the second half, Federico Ferreyra scored two consecutive goals, in the 61st and 83rd minutes.

The game ended 3-2 for the Sargossan Corsairs. The Matchday 7 rankings place us in 5th place in our group, with Sargossa in second. Here are the current Group 1 Rankings:

-  Group 1                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Taeshan 7 5 2 0 9 1 +8 17
2 Sargossa 7 5 0 2 10 7 +3 15
3 Kalusia 7 4 2 1 9 5 +4 14
4 Super-Llamaland 7 4 0 3 16 12 +4 12
5 Horusland 7 3 2 2 7 7 0 11
6 Armed Bears 7 3 1 3 16 14 +2 10
7 Leorudo 7 2 3 2 9 10 −1 9
8 The fief of Sir Kunne 7 2 1 4 7 9 −2 7
9 Oralana 7 1 1 5 7 13 −6 4
10 Friday Freshman 7 0 0 7 5 17 −12 0

Our next game, against Armed Bears (51st), is in 12 hours. Our broadcasting will continue tomorrow. Until then!
A series of strange bipolar phenomena collectively known as adolescence, taking over a nation formerly terrorizing NSG as an awkward and slightly braindead child.

User avatar
Mytannion
Minister
 
Posts: 2466
Founded: Aug 07, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Mytannion » Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:31 am

“Have you seen her have you heard,
The way she plays there are no words,
To describe the way I feel.
”


I first met Alina Arnhaev when I was merely fourteen years of age. Back then she was actually an annoyance. I quite liked the look of one of her friends and she was a childish, if a little strange obstacle on my way to actually getting to know her friend better. Little did I know that she would change my life forever.

Looking back now I can understand why my fourteen year old self found her annoying, I mean, she was in the way. I could never get any time alone with her mate – a girl who I had been trying to get onto for absolutely ages – she was always there, always trying to make things awkward and trying to create small problems for us to have to try and sort out and eventually I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. My ‘graft’ as we called it, wasn’t going anywhere. I had worked for ages on trying to get with this girl and while she liked me more than I liked her – she wasn’t up for the things I wanted. She was a year younger to be fair, but every fourteen year old lad has certain needs that need fulfilling.

I was now sixteen and realising that Alina was very creative, very into her music and art at a time when I was only just getting into the music scene. Bands were coming out of nowhere which suddenly made it cool to like music and play it – but Alina had been ahead of the game – she had been involved in it from birth pretty much. She wasn’t like other girls. She had the exact look that modelling agencies were looking for at that time, the press had given it the derogatory name of ‘heroin chic’ – stating that heroin users were prone to looking emaciated and almost... androgynous.

I didn’t mind. After all, I hadn’t originally found her attractive. She was skinny and had dark hair and at this stage I was just keeping to the loutish stereotype of being attracted to only girls with blonde hair and large breasts and whilst that is a ridiculous notion now – I can understand why my younger self did it in order to fit in. All my mates were around my knocking the skinny girls for ‘having no meat on ‘em’ and whilst I couldn’t see anything wrong with a girl being skinny, so long as she was healthy, I just went along with what they said.

I remember walking out of a science lesson one day, I think it was biology and watching her skip down the steps of the art block at school. She had told me the night before as we had walked home about how she had a piece she had needed to do for coursework or something. I hadn’t really paid attention. Sure, I was getting into music, but I still couldn’t appreciate art quite yet. Seeing her, skip down the steps in an animated fashion, a large smile on her face as she laughed at a joke from one of her friends and her uniform hugging her small figure tightly. That was the first time I realised that I found her attractive.

And that is where the long tale of me trying to impress Alina Arnhaev started.

...

I watched as she walked towards me, she wasn’t facing me, but looking at one of her friends, waving goodbye for the day as she headed home. For the past year we had got into the routine of walking home with each other every single day. After me and her friend had spoken for a while we had realised that we actually lived on the same street – something we were both shocked to discover – and after me and her friend had stopped speaking, Alina became a bigger part of my life.

“Oi, what you staring at?!” She laughed as she walked towards me, punching my arm playfully. I laughed along with her, staying quiet. I was too deep in thought about how my feelings had turned so suddenly. I had never been this attracted to her before, sure I’d thought she was decent looking and ‘had potential’ but never anything like this. Surely I couldn’t tell her... Could I?

Alina had noticed the difference in me straight away. She was good at that. She knew exactly when someone wasn’t their usual self. She began to interrogate me on the way home and I had decided to take the approach of just laughing it off.

“Look, it’s nothing Alina, leave it!” I laughed to her.

“No, come on. Tell me now, seriously.” Her questioning was relentless, she just wouldn’t stop. “Is it a girl?” I winced with how good she was at this. She was a year younger than me and she still could read me like a book, it was really annoying.

“Oh yeah. Definitely.” I said in the most serious fashion I could muster.

“Oh wow! Who?! Tell me, tell me, tell me.” She let out a little scream of excitement.

“Well. I really didn’t want to tell anybody this... but it’s Lara Schennikov. I just can’t get her out of my head. She’s amazing.” Alina’s look of excitement dropped immediately. Her face turned to the most deadpan expression ever because of those two words. Lara Schennikov. It was a school consensus that Lara was perhaps the most ugly girl in the whole school and though Alina would probably find any joke about her funny on any other occasion, she was very strange about girl’s looks when it came to talking about them in that sense.

“I was trying to be serious Svet.” She replied. One thing you should probably know about Alina is that she was very strange when it came to mood swings and the like. When she was annoyed she didn’t really do very much, but you sure as hell knew that she was not very happy with you.

She went quiet. Her responses were cool and blunt and she was not very much fun.

“Come on Alina... I know you were trying to be serious but surely you shouldn’t get so worked up over this!” I tried to make her come around to my way of thinking.

“Svet. I don’t care. Seriously. I was actually trying to be helpful believe it or not and you just make a joke out of it at poor Lara’s expense. She’s actually a really nice person.” Alina wasn’t to be turned.

“Look, I’m sorry okay. I didn’t realise you felt so strongly about this--” She cut me off.

“Just leave it okay. I just won’t help you in future. No point is there if you’re just going to make fun of me.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you!” I tried to argue.

“Leave it, Svet.” She replied. We were getting close to home. She was annoyed. I never liked her being annoyed with me. It was proper rubbish. She would still walk to and from school with me, but it just wasn’t the same as when we had our back and forth conversations, poking fun at each other. We turned up our road, the red brick terraces of Thessia that stretched for miles around the city that was our home.

“So... Are you going to the gig on Friday then?” I asked, trying to break the icy silence that had come between us.

“Obviously. Who was it that introduced you to The Switch after all.” She replied, a little smirk creeping across her face.

“Guess I’ll see you there then. Should be a good night.” We were approaching her door, it was the next house along. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you.” She said. As she went to slot her key into the keyhole. I carried on walking, kicking myself that I had annoyed her. These feelings were embryonic, but it didn’t mean they were already having a big effect on me. Then, suddenly, “Svet. Wait.” Came her voice from behind me. I don’t think I have ever turned as quick as that and in a fairytale of some sort she probably would have declared her undying affection for me there and then and we would have lived happily ever after but unfortunately what she asked was a little more mundane than that.

“You drink, don’t you?” She asked.

“Well of course I fucking do,” I laughed. “Water, milk, all sorts.”

“Don’t take the piss I’m not in the mood Svet.” She responded coolly.

“Wow, I really got up your arse today didn’t I. Yeah, I do drink, cider mostly.” I answered, attempting not to annoy her further.

“Cool. D’ya reckon you could get me and Lena something for the gig?” She asked.

“Uhh, yeah, sound...” I thought to myself. “Yeah, I probably could, depends what you want doesn’t it..”

“Probably some vodka or something. Doesn’t have to be good stuff, just enough to get us in the mood for the gig, y’know?” She replied.

“Probably could. I’ll have to speak to my sister though, I’ll see what she can do. I’ll speak to about it tomoz though.” I answered, giving a reassuring thumbs-up which probably looked like the worst thing I have ever done considering this is possibly the most attractive girl I’d ever spoken to. Why had my opinion on her changed so fast?!

“Cool. That’d be great. Thanks Svet.” She said, as she turned to go back to opening her front door and going inside. I turned to walk off. My heart was pounding in my chest. I’d never felt like this about her before, she’d just been like a little sister to me, nothing more. I’d looked after her for a while when she’d had some problems at school and we’d become friends after I’d finished with her mate. It was so weird. Now I was fucking running around sorting her booze. What was going on?

...

I waited anxiously for my sister to get home, Silvana would know what to do. She was just turned eighteen and studying at the local college, Mytanar Literature or something. She was well clever. She wanted to go to Alzburg-Dyka or Queens for University. She’d be the first in our family to do so.

She had basically looked after us, me and my younger brother for the past year and a half whilst Pa had been in hospital. He had some sort of lung cancer or something and Mum had said it had been ‘eating him for years’, which sounded pretty worrying. I had had to look after the stall at the market for the past few months and selling flowers as a teenage boy is not the coolest look let me tell you. Sad to say that it’d probably be my life though. I was clever enough but I didn’t have the drive like Silvana, I’d probably end up being a florist all my life.

I got up off my bed and went over to the record player and put on something by The Pink Skies. I couldn’t be bothered checking what it was and after all, they were the greatest band in the world so it didn’t really matter. I chuckled as the opening chords of ‘You Taste of Cherryade’ chimed. How ironic. A song talking about unlikely attraction to a girl in my situation. I jumped back onto my bed and lay there as the tune played and jumped as a knock on my window came. I turned, peering as light poured through, blinding me for a moment before my eyes focussed.

It was my best mate, Stefan Zimmer. Better known as ‘Frame’ as we all called him. Nicknames were all the rage at the time. I opened the window and grinned. We had been best mates since we were about two and we could literally climb along our garden walls and into each other’s bedrooms. Our houses backed onto one another.

“’Ere y’are Jelly mate. How you doing?” Ah. My very own nicknamed. My name’s Svetoslav Jelic but everybody’s always calling me Jelly. It’s not the best nickname but I suppose it belongs to me at the very least. I grinned back at my mate Frame.

“How did skiving go for you then mate? No trouble from the dibble this time around nah?”

“No mate,” He laughed, “It was mega, don’t get why we can’t just go straight into work after primary school you know. Learnt so much more the past couple of times I’ve been skiving than the past three years at high school you know.”

“I know what my job will be anyway, not like it’s going to be a big shock mate. Would be pointless for me.” I responded. It was a bit annoying really, knowing my future was already decided for me. Poor Pa. I wish he was still around, it’d at least give me some choice. Which was a bit selfish on my part, sure, but I was a teenage kid, it’s excusable.

“Not if we’re successful mate. Still not thought of a name for the band, no?” He asked. Stefan had been going on about starting a band for weeks, months possibly. He wasn’t the cleverest lad, but he was fucking ace musically. Never seen anyone more skilled on a guitar ever, not even Tomasz from The Pink Skies. I thought originally that him and Alina would have got on better than me and her, but he’d never really shown an interest in her and I of course was just mates, so it was alright.

“Nah mate. Gonna leave it until summer I reckon, y’know.”

“You’re the singer anyway mate, with your accent and my guitar playing, we’ll be sound. Regional accents and guitars are all the fucking rage lad.” He said.

“I suppose.” I responded, as I heard the door click. Silvana was back. “Shit, fucking go quick it’s Silvana!” I shouted as he leaped through the window, way ahead of me. Stefan and Silvana had never really been too friendly ever since she had caught him eyeing her up whilst she had been in the shower. I had given him a fat lip and been done with it, as mates, that’s what we did. But she had bore a grudge ever since and wouldn’t even let him be in my room when she was in charge of us all. “I’ll see you later mate!” I yelled after him as he tiptoed along our garden wall and then his own.

He turned and grinned at me, then his sight lowered down. Fuck. The kitchen. Silvana would see him. Sure enough, her call came a second later.

“Oi Svet you little toerag why is that moron Stefan Zimmer climbing along our wall?!” She yelled up the stairs.

“Come on sis, he’s my best mate. He’s got to come around sometimes!” I shouted down.

“He’s a little wanker.” She responded bluntly and I laughed.

“Fair enough then.” I called as I turned the record player off and proceeded to go downstairs. I did after all, have a rather important question to ask her.

...

“What we having for tea then, Silvie?” I asked my sister. I had been trying to be nice all night, I never called her by her pet name, it was only my mum and her best mates that ever called her that.

“What are you up to Svet?” She latched onto it immediately.

“Right Silvana I know you’ll understand. Basically you know Alina Arnhaev, lives down the road, skinny girl yeah?” She nodded in response to my question, “I don’t know how or why, but in about...” I checked the clock on the wall, “The past two hours or so I’ve become attracted to her and I just don’t get it.”

“Where you going with this Svet?”

“Can you get me vodka for Friday?” I asked.

“Vodka?!” She spluttered. “You don’t drink vodka!” Then the realisation dawned on her face.

“Yeah... For her.” I responded.

“I’m not sure it’s the best idea Svet. I mean, you could get in trouble if she gets plastered and you’re the one who gave it her – and that means me by proxy.”

“Please sis, please I’m begging you.”

“Aw. You’re trying to impress her aren’t you.” She laughed. “Where’s this come from anyway? I thought you two were just good friends.”

“We are, but I dunno, I saw her today and the way she looked... It was incredible man.”

“Aw. That’s cute. Who knew my brother Svet could be so cute eh?” She asked, laughing.

“Sod off. Can you get it me or not?”

“I can get it you yeah. One condition though. Make sure you look after her. If she’s drunk and at a gig, anything can happen, you could get in trouble and so could she. Make sure she’s alright.” Silvana replied.

“Thanks!” I beamed and jumped up, hugging her.

“Gerrof! Idiot!” She shouted. “And anyway, I’m going, I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“Fuck’s sake. Don’t embarrass me in front of my mates.”

“It’s your mates you have to watch out for, that Stefan Zimmer I swear to god.”

“Oi, leave it out Silvie.” I replied, grinning as I used her pet name again and she scowled by way of response.

Tomorrow would be good. I could tell Alina I’d got her her stuff. Even now I could fucking hear her, I couldn’t escape her. I could hear her guitar playing from down the street – she had evidently plugged in her new amplifier that she had been going on about for weeks and was playing The Pink Skies’ ‘Kiss Me Where the Sun Don’t Shine’. She was good as well.

Then, her voice came, singing. Was she playing a gig in her back yard or something? It certainly sounded like that as the waves of sounds came down the street. Maybe I was dreaming. She was incredible. She was different to all the other girls. I liked it.
Last edited by Mytannion on Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Third Republic of Mytannion
Capital: Esca - Population: 43,500,000 - Demonym: Mytanar

Sporting Achievements:
Football: Copa Rushmori XVII, CoH 56 & 59 Champions. Qualified for WC 55, 58, 60, 61, 63, 66; Round of 16: WC 56, 57, 62, 65. Quarter Finals: WC 68.
Lacrosse: WLC IX & XVII Champions!

User avatar
Kalumba
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1368
Founded: May 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Kalumba » Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:42 am

The week was going from bad to worse for the UANC and Blessing felt like crying as he read the latest copy of The Herald. The rumours had been persistant for the last few days but this confirmed them in full. Senator Maurice Gifford had formally quit the UANC, resigned as Secretary of Defence and had formally endorsed Abel Chimpota for the Presidency ahead of Victor Omeru.

A greater disaster Blessing couldn't have imagined. Gifford had long been a loyal retainer to both President and Party but was now abandoning them for their bitter rivals. But worse still Blessing didn't feel he could blame him for his actions, if he was in Gifford's position he would have done the same. By questioning Chimpota's military record they included him by association in the accusation and undermined him and his department entirely.

But with him, the only white minister in Kalumba and generally seen as the leader of the white community, now endorsing the opposition it was likely most of the whites would vote for Chimpota. Especially as Chimpota was now preaching an even harder line on the insurgents, who he was only reffering to as 'terrorists' now, because the white community was a major target for BAPL and they would vote for the man who promised their safety.

Blessing sighed as he turned on the small television in his one bedroom flat, with all the hulabaloo he had taken his day off early and was looking forwards to a good night of sleep but wanted to catch up with the football.

Announcer: Now it's time for Football Today

Barry Maclure: Welcome to tonight's edition of Football Today, with me your host Barry Maclure, and regulars Scott Donals and Peter Madelson. Also today Kalumban legend Frank Smith will be joining us for the firt time in a few years. So first off the bat another draw last night against a top ranked side, is Kalumba's defensive mindset paying off?

Frank: Personally I wouldn't call it a defensive mindset, it is simply the team being overawed by the great sides they have to face. I think we shuld applaud the defensive ability of the side, but remeber the only reason they look defensivey minded is the fact they are pulling off shock draws against world class opponents. If we went out with the aim of just defending we would be beaten easily.

Scott: Well I have to disagree here, we have shown no adventure and are just sitting back and defending. I...

Frank: Have you ever played football against world class teams? I have and I knw tat you will always end up defending whatever your gameplan. You'd be a fool to think otherwise.

Barry: Ok, let's keep it civil guys. Now what of last night's draw with Kinitaria?

Peter: It was another solid performance, and we are still unbeaten which is unbelievable. I mean we went away to the team ranked 16th in the world and came from behind to secure a draw. And last night we faced the group leaders at home and stopped them from scoring...

Scott: Exactly my point, being unbeaten is good but if we had shown more adventure we may have won a few more games and actually stand a chance of qualifying.

Frank: Or far more likely we would have been spanked repeatedly and would sit bottom of the group with a goals against column numbering far into the double digits.

Scott: But there is a chan...

Blessing switched off the television, it had been years since he had been able to watch a full episode of Football Today as it always descended into arguments with nothing meaningful being said, but at least Kalumba hadn't lost.
Unilateral Declaration of Indifference viewtopic.php?f=23&t=111178 - Honestly Kalumba has no interest in you or your problems.
Looking for a PMT RP, no godmoding, etc. Come and help Zimbabwe-Rhodesia defeat the Soviets in Africa viewtopic.php?f=5&t=116682
The Colonial Crisis viewtopic.php?f=5&t=138755
-St George wrote:Pedantry, thy name is Kalumba.
San-Silvacian wrote:
Forgot to take off my Rhodie shorts when I went to sleep.

Woke up in bitches and enemy combatants.


Spreewerke wrote:Salt the women, rape the earth.

Baptism of Fire 43 Champions
A Luta Continua

User avatar
Cassadaigua
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5269
Founded: Sep 19, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Cassadaigua » Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:46 am

(Note that any quotes in this RP are known only by the people making them, and are not public knowledge).

Meghan Kinson made the trip to Kishrael, but her not playing the game due to a red card in the previous match allowed for her to have a little more free time then everyone else. She decided to use this time to meet up with Ashley Stokes (one of Cassadaigua’s top players in the International Basketball Championship and someone else who allegedly took place in the rape of Seth Johnson at Grande Mountain University), but first had to blow off coach Brittany Lawton’s plans with Erika Fenwick, the other Cassadagan soccer player sitting out the game because of the red card. Kinson and Stokes have purposely avoided being seen in public together due to the nature of the accusation, but Meghan felt as though doing so in a nation like Kishrael, where no one really seemed to paying much attention to the World Cup, would be a good spot to do it. No one would expect Ashley Stokes to be here. Why in the world would Ashley come to Kishrael for? Kinson, who is very intelligent in getting people to do things for her, or to cover her tricks, convinced Fenwick to go with her story that the two of them watched the game together in the hotel.

Instead, the only person in Kinson’s hotel room was Stokes, and after some minor small talk, she asked, “Meghan, you know that getting that red card didn’t really help our cause, but I liked the way you had that little baby from Canuckistan squirming on the field. I don’t know what you did to get the card though?”

“Just a loser ref, Ashley,” replied Kinson, “He was on me from the beginning. I had the three newbies in the back end with me because of the flu to our regulars, and I was doing the best I could to help them along, and that guy from the Soviet place made some comments about whether or not I would teach them to be rapists too. The referee had a smirk on his face the whole time about it, you knew he was enjoying it. When I had the chance I deliberately tackled the shit out of him and my knee being planted in his nuts was not an accident. It was enjoyable, and told him well now you know how Seth felt, just don’t kill yourself over it. (Laughs)”

“The ref didn’t hear that, though?”

“Of course not, he was too far away and I said it in too soft a voice. Only the Canuckistan player with Sedin-ish like dive and embellishment would have heard it. I didn’t think I would get a red over it, it sucks a little bit, but whatever, it gives me a chance to talk to you about things, and there is something I want to talk about. You know that Sister Polus from Saintland? The one who couldn’t stop with the video rants?” asked Kinson, eagerly awaiting Stokes’ response. Ashley could only smile, “How could I forget her? Her comments were very motivational during the International Basketball Championships. It really helped get us going and inspire us to win that series over that corrupt nation.”

The tone of Kinson’s voice began to change, turning to her friend and softly speaking, “Well apparently this bitch just can’t shut up. She had this rant again recently, and if she would leave it at talking about the own bullshit in her own nation, I wouldn’t care it as much, but she continues to want to take shots at our nation, and I would really like it if she did shut up. For good. If you catch my drift.” Stokes nodded, and expressed agreement though at the same time told her that it would be impossible to actually do something to someone who resides in another country. But Kinson had that already covered, “There’s this new group, and it’s a group of teenagers which makes it even better.”

“Teenagers? How is it better? They have no authority even if it wasn’t a corrupt nation.” Ashley asked, a bit unsure of what Meghan was going to say.

“Teenagers are perfect, Ashley. Perfect,” Kinson began, “They’re impressionable. They get all riled up over things like school uniforms or how teachers treat them in class. They like rebellion, and a group of them already are. It’s called Vindicta Progressvm. We can give them support, we have money, and through them, we can get this Polus to make her last video rant, but not by her own choice, of course.”

“We give them some support, and they take out Polus? That might take a lot of money, though?” Ashley asked.

“Nonsense. Again, these are teenagers. High School kids. What they think is a lot of money doesn’t really have to be a lot of money. If it gets them able to buy some new fashionable clothes, music CD’s of bands that play good music that people actually want to listen too, and some other nice materialistic things, they’ll go along with it. Then if they succeed, we just do what we did to cover our tracks against Grande Mountain University’s investigation. Deny it, have fake sympathy, write those messages of sympathy online that you’re laughing hysterically over as you type, and cover all the paper trails. Plus, it won’t be us they communicate with directly, anyway.”

Ashley Stokes grinned, but soon realized she needed to talk Meghan out of it, “If there’s even the slightest mess up, Meghan, then we’re done. Not to mention it could spurn some international event, and we wouldn’t want that. I’d like to support those high school kids who are brave enough to speak out against Polus, but at the same time, just let the situation be out there. Soon Polus will have to shut up, and if she doesn’t, she is bound to piss off more nations then just us. I really think we should focus on ourselves.”

Kinson grinned, “If I don’t have your support then it will never work. But let me know if you change your mind. In the meantime, let’s watch the second half. We’re up 3-1, what could possibly go wrong?”
NS Sports’ only World Cup, World Bowl, World Cup of Hockey, World Baseball Classic and International Basketball Championships winner!

(Motorsports, college basketball, and volleyball, too)


Specific Titles: World Cup 50, 51; WBC 14, 16, 19, 50 & 58; WB 8, 22, & 40; WCOH 11 & 39; IBC 13.
Also: CR 40 & 43; CoH 39; Swamp Soccer 4, RTC WC 18 & 19; WVE 6; NSCAA 3, 5 & 9; NSSCRA 7
Runner Up: CoH 40, CR 37, 38 & 41; WB 21, WcoH 8, IBC 12, WBC 13, 15, 47 & 48, DBC 21.
WC Qualified for: 45, 46, 49-61, 67, 79 (DNP WC 69-77), 81-90, 92.
XIII Summer Olympiad: 2nd Most Medals
Hosted: WC 54, 67, 84 & 88; CoH 57 & 73, BoF 47, CR 30, WB 16, WBC 18, 26, 40, 45 & 50, NSCAA, NSCH 1; WLC 7, 30 & 33.

User avatar
Sandwich Territories
Diplomat
 
Posts: 637
Founded: Oct 04, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Sandwich Territories » Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:39 am

*And that was "Your Touch" by the Black Keys on SBC 2 Radio. And that song, my fellow listeners, is one of my favorites, from one of my favorite bands. However, it is that time once again, where we take a short break for the news and weather reports from the studio. I'm Dan Halladay, and you're tuned in to SBC 2 live from Scallions.*

*For a change, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to start off with the sports. And what better to start of the sports news with something that a lot of people care about, like the World Cup 65. Reporting on the results of both of Kennan's teams is Joshua Howard in Hackleberry Islands.*

*Thaanks, Martin. Andy and I are here in Hackleberry catching up with other news, but we both have been keeping up with the World Cup 65, and here are the results for both Sandwich Territories and Soviet New Ireland, the two teams from Kennan in the World Cup 65. We shall start with Group 11. Just a side note, if you are viewing the radio on your computer or on a handheld device, you should be able to see a graph of the standings. All of the teams in green are currently in the advancing zone, the team in gold is the team from Kennan, the teams in black still have a chance of advancing, and the teams in red have already been eliminated.*

1.Osarius with 19 points.
2.West Angola with 16 points.
3.Sandwich Territories with 15 points.
4.Filopines with 13 points.
5.Astograth with 12 points.
6.Kericia with 10 points.
7.Luzvimindia with 6 points.
8.Carizzal with 5 points.
9.Beldonia with 2 points.
10.Joshulia with 1 point.

*And now, for Group 15.*

1.Gyatso-kai with 19 points.
2.Carpathia and Ruthenia with 13 points.
3.Svengarda with 13 points, but behind on goal difference.
4.Paradystopia with 12 points.
5.Yelvodia with 12 points, but behind on goal difference.
6.Zackalantis with 10 points.
7.Ethington with 10 points, but behind on goal difference.
8.Speranda with 7 points.
9.Soviet New Ireland with 3 points. (Eliminated)
10.An Enigamtic Nation with 3 points, but behind on goal difference.

*Any thoughts, Andy?*

*Well, yes, Josh. We all know that Soviet New Ireland has no chance what-so-ever. But I think Sandwich's fate rests on the failure of West Angola. The Sandwich Territories FA has already faced its two toughest opponents (EDIT: And has much easier competition ahead) , so nicely said, Sandwich should have no trouble, and all that they can do is wait and see how the other games play out.*

*Alright, cheers, Josh and Andy.*

*Cheers, mate.*
Last edited by Sandwich Territories on Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Member of Kennan
Kennan Diplomat to The South Pacific

Ranked 58th in the World Cup Rankings
Total Olympic Medal Count: 1 (Silver)
Reimsburgh Blues Season 1 KHL Champions
Commissioner of the Kennan Hockey League and the Kennan Premier League
Original Member of the AAFL/AAFA
Reimsburgh Tech Mariners in NSCF
Host of the SBC Bowl, and the Kazarian Cup

User avatar
Qazox
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21295
Founded: Jan 17, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Qazox » Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:09 am

Stadia Volker, Felix-

It may not look like it, but Qazox and Felix both have a few things in common. Both nations have 5 letters in their names; both have those names alternate consonants and vowels; both names end in the letter X; both teams didn't win their Baptism of Fire and both teams could be in first with a win in last night's game.

For the vast majority of the match, the Wolves were outplayed, outhustled and outcoached. But all it takes is one bounce to turn the match around, and Qazox got that bounce in the 85th minute. Ji Iseul Kwan misplayed a throw-in, allowing Qazox a 3-on-1 break, ending with a Jesse Hilton goal that just sailed over Viggo Tyko's outstretched hands.

Qazox heads home to face St. Louca next, the 1st qualifying half home finale.

GOALS:
Hilton- 85'
Wikipage/Qazox National Football Team
Qualified for World Cups 31, 33, 35-50, 54-59, 61, 62. Runners-up: CoH 52
Baptism of Fire 44 (w/Mangolana); World Baseball Classics 1, 4, 5, 10, 13 and 23; World Cup of Hockey 7 and 14; World Bowls IV & IX; IBC X; Baptism of Iron III and VIII; NSCAA Tourney II, III (conferences/regionals), The OXEN Cup; the TOUR de QAZOX, Qazoxian Sports Festival and NS X-Games/Winter X-Games I.
World Cups of Hockey 4 & 6; World Baseball Classics 6, 8 and 9, World Bowls 3 and XXI; Draggonnii Inviyatii V, IBC XI
xkcd 1110 (zoomable!)

User avatar
Barunia
Minister
 
Posts: 2075
Founded: Dec 23, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Barunia » Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:21 am

BaruniainSports.com.bu

Joric Ruskin: The next step
By Kitty Smith

I had the opportunity this week to talk to former Suns player and captain Joric Ruskin, who is now assistant coach of the national team. Here's what he had to say. (Italics are my questions.)
------

Joric, thankyou for talking to me. Having played with the majority of these players before, do you think you that has had an impact on your coaching style.

Definitely the case. I know all these guys strengths and weaknesses, and I have good relationships with many of the guys already. I don't have to learn any of it, which means I can concentrate on assisting Stephen. He's been with us since the beginning, so he knows the team just as well as I do, so I'm not really much use to him there.

Has Stephen WIggens been an inspiration to you? Or someone else on the team?

It depends on what I need help with. When I lost my legs, Pacifique helped me through it. He could relate you see, with the whole eye thing he's had to deal with. But Stephen has taught me how to be a good leader and a coach. It's the next step, as it were, in my transition from player to coach.

So what was the first step?

Losing my legs. I'd planned to go back to football after the war, if I survived, but it didn't turn out like that. I got out alive, but I lost the ability to play.

So how do you recover from something like that? Being at the height of your sport, and then suddenly having it taken away from you?

It's been a long road. You just have to keep going, try different things. Get support. Like I said before, I talked to Pacifique especially, but the whole team helped me out as well. All the guys at the Hawks and my family and friends.

Do you think you've recovered?

Getting there. I'll never be fully revered, I mean I'll never have my legs back, but mentally I'm doing well, trying to make the most out of the rest of my life.

So what's next?

More coaching. I'll be taking charge of Albatross FC next season, and looking to get the Suns into a World Cup. I'm also involved in a programme to help disabled youth get into sport.

Speaking of the World Cup, how do you rate the Suns chances this year?

Well, we have a tough qualification group, but we've faced tough teams before and won. There's been a mood around the camp this week that we can get through, and it's been really great to see that belief amongst the players. We'll give it our best shot, that's for sure, and with a bit of luck we'll make it to through.
-----

Thanks Joric for that interview, it's great to see you back with the Suns. There will be a delay on the match report for the game against Mahloki Vai, but I hope to have it up by next week, along with the rest of the player biographies. Until then, stay safe and go Suns!
Head of Dipomacy for the Union of Red Nations
Join the URN! A place for all communists, socialists, and left-wing nations.
I use my factbook!

Officially jolly good sporting chaps! Winners of the 2nd Chap Olympiad! (As MCSA)

Football
Baptism of Fire 51: Quarter-finalists
Cup of Harmony 62 & 64: Runner-ups
Qualified for World Cup 67,68,73,74,75

Rugby Union World Cup 25 - Third Place

Hosts of the 4th T20 Cricket World Cup
Third Place in the 4th T20 Cricket World Cup

Hosts of the Celebration of Field Hockey

Board Member of the World Calvinball Federation


Rugby World Cup 26 Champions
Author of Issue #604

User avatar
Svengarda
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 193
Founded: Aug 31, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Svengarda » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:25 pm

"K. Jarvinen, P. Kurninhg" The drone of the chief selectors voice almost put me to sleep as he went through the list of the 43 names who'd made the Upper Development squad. My heart only started beating faster when he came onto P, but my eyes were firmly locked on the amazingly athletic girl whose name had not been called. She remain unsurprisingly calm, her name must have began with a late letter.

"J. Tenssen". Still no movement

"R. Sandersen"

"Karana Steffansson". My brain ticked over. Was that me? I was pretty sure I'd registered as Kari. Karana was my birth name, but no-one called me that except my grand-parents and the Headmistress.

Nobody else moved.

"Karana Steffansson?" he asked again, in that same, monotonous tone. Someone pushed me in the back and I almost fell out of my seat. I put my arm up sheepishly and made my way across the row and towards the concrete steps.

"Loreen Steffansson" I turned to see who shared my namesake, and to my surprise, she stood up and skipped her way down the stairs, almost as if she wasn't a girl who could probably wrestle and defeat a live bear.

She bounded past me onto the astro surface I jogged down after her and joined her in the crowd.

I was staring idly into the rest of the crowd when someone whispered into my ear

"At least we share something in common". I swung my head around to find Loreen silently smiling to herself. She'd just insulted me in front of my face.

What the hell.
[align=center]Winner of 49th Baptism of Fire

User avatar
Super-Llamaland
Senator
 
Posts: 4013
Founded: Jan 11, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Super-Llamaland » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:39 pm

OOC: RP got wiped out, will just post stats

LLAMAS: 3 Goals, 12 Shots (9 on goal), no cards, 51% Possession (43 in first, 59 in second)

STATS UPDATE:
Tyson DeJesus 86% Saves, 42 SOG-Six Goals [injured]
Nick DeJesus 75% Saves, 12 SOG-Three goals
Eric Matthews NAN% Saves, No SOG (4 Minutes Play)
Bobby Crosby TEN POINTS (five goals)
Trevor Duncan NINE POINTS (three goals three assists)
Jared Mullin FIVE POINTS (two goals three assists)
Chris May SEVEN POINTS (two goals three assists)
John Oliver FOUR POINTS (goal, two assists)
Luis Alcanatra THREE POINTS (one goal one assist)
Johnny Rushmore THREE POINTS (one goal one assist)
Evan Powell TWO POINTS (goal)
Chris Chapman TWO POINTs (two assists)

Tyson Richards will be out for the rest of the tournament. A backup's identity is TBD.
The Eighth Llamanean Republic
Capital: New Llama City, Population: ~56,000,000
5x World Baseball Classic champion (28, 30, 31, 40, 42)
Yue Zhou • Savigliane

User avatar
Taeshan
Senator
 
Posts: 4910
Founded: Aug 11, 2007
New York Times Democracy

Postby Taeshan » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:44 pm

What can we say? Two ties in two games and things have went from full sail, to oh shit in a few minutes. Really the team had it all figured out for five games and now things dont look so certain. They once had a stranglehold on the group but now they have opened the door, and to two lesser teams that really got lucky to hit the team during a low run of form and will probably hold the two draws as very good matches, and possibly the best things for them this cup.

The two ties have led to disbelief throughout the nation and everyone has slowly started a whispering of firing recently new Manager Henning Tir. Though that would most likely only come if the Knights failed to qualify, in many ways the team is very well still the favorites to win the qualifying group and make another run at the world cup. Tir himself recently started to call out the attackers who have recently worried more about the defense and less about the offense. There is also rumors that he may be looking to move around the midfield bring in different players to start and mess with the formation.

That is not the only big news moving around Taeshan. Recently hot Goalkeeper Joe Jackson from New Capetown has been called up for whatever reason. The two backups seem fine and not injured or sick, and starter Ryleigh Voegael and the defense have been very good in the last few games its more the offense that needs help. Jackson is a fan favorite, and a young guy who Henning may just be looking to give caps later in the run if they can return to form and put the group out of reach.
Champions - Copa Rushmori 22, Cup of Harmony 35, Di Bradini Cup 19, World Baseball Classic 13, Gridiron World Championships (World Bowl 0), World Bowl 34, World Lacrosse Championship 2

World Cup Qualifications-41, 44, 46, 59, 61(RoS), 62(Quarterfinals), 63 (RoS), 64 (Quarterfinals), 83, 84 (RoS), 85, 87

Hosts-Cup of Harmony 55, Copa Rushmori 14, Sporting World Cup 10,
Quidditch World Cup 10, World Cup of Hockey 41, World Cup 87

User avatar
Boring Paradise
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1157
Founded: Sep 01, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Boring Paradise » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:55 pm

Group 18

Valladares (9)
Qazox (43)
Boring Paradise (47)
Estope (94)
Alexanderburn (134)
Felix (199)
St Lucoa (231)
Kaznan (293)
Borealia (293)
Schalafania (UR)

MD1: 2-0 Kaznan (H)
MD2: 3-3 Borealia (A)
MD3: 0-2 Valladares (H)
MD4: 1-4 Qazox (A)
MD5: 2-1 Schalafania (H)
MD6: 2-1 Estope (H)
MD7: 1-1 Alexanderburn (A)
MD8: Felix (H)
MD9: St Lucoa (A)
BYE
MD10: Kaznan (A)
MD11: Borealia (H)
MD12: Valladares (A)
MD13: Qazox (H)
MD14: Schalafania (A)
MD15: Estope (A)
MD16: Alexanderburn (H)
MD17: Felix (A)
MD18: St Lucoa (H)

Win or Expected Win
Draw or Expected Draw
Lose or Expected Lose

Chapter 1


Ghostly Story|Chapter 2


At exactly 2000 hours the kick off for Boring Paradise and Valladares. Boring Paradise's had been bad but then we were faced to lose this match and destined to do "bad" this time round, saying the shadowy figure that comes in to matches. The fans were just settling in to watch the match as goes on.

The Paradisian Players played there best in the attacking force and also in the defending force. But Luis Fuentes was too good for Them and the finally the goalless game was broken with Valladares Striker, Yoan Gignac. Then another one by Pedrinho. The game concluded and it was our first lost for the qualifying round.

The following night, the storm came again, the rain pouring down, thunder and lightning came back to make a miserable night for all of us. The freak whether storms are making people unsafe by the minute and made them feel haunted.

-  Group 18                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1 Qazox 7 6 0 1 15 7 +8 18
2 St Lucoa 7 4 2 1 8 3 +5 14
3 Felix 7 4 1 2 16 9 +7 13
4 Estope 7 4 1 2 14 7 +7 13
5 Alexanderburn 7 3 2 2 12 8 +4 11
6 Boring Paradise 7 3 2 2 11 12 -1 11
7 Valladares 7 3 1 3 10 8 +2 10
8 Kaznan 7 1 2 4 5 15 -10 5
9 Schalafania 7 0 2 5 5 16 −11 2
10 Borealia 7 0 1 6 8 19 −11 1
The Paradisian Empire contains the Center, Boring Paradise, and the loyal countries that have sworn allegiance.

Best Places
U-15 World Cup 7 Runners-Up
WWISC 2 Runners Up
U-15 Chamionship (3rd Place)
Friendly Cup X (3rd Place)
Hosted
Internation FireStorm Cup II,III
Friendly Cup X

User avatar
Apox
Minister
 
Posts: 2273
Founded: Jun 30, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Apox » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:55 pm



Sir Richard had returned from Wight Spit with a whole heap of players, and things were really beginning to get exciting in Dwyle, as they nearly had enough for an entire team. New members to the team were Alex Holderness (508-520, 190 apps, 15 goals), Richard Mak (512-529, 309 apps, 70 goals), Holt Abel (507-523, 231 apps, 89 goals) and the first ever woman to play top level Apoxian football, Jennifer Cretha (507-518, 112 apps, 10 goals).

With enough players to be getting on with to start off with, George and Richard decided to take the team out onto the hastily prepared football field that would consitute as the teams training ground and stadium for any future matches they might decide to play. The players were a little rusty, many of them having not played football for at least 40 years, and they were all some way off their peak, as you would expect for a group of 44 year olds.

Caddie Jones was on form, it seemed like he'd only stopped playing a week ago, we would be vital in goal. Victor Charlfont and Almost Chris Maarsden were both playing well, with Chris spinning circles around most of the other players, scoring a total of 4 goals in an informal practise game they were playing.

Sir Richard Marshall looked on from the side interestedly, suit on and notebook in hand, looking very much the part of team manager. Things went rather less smoothly once Richard had left to use the Rose & Thistle's phone to try and get in some more players, leaving Sir Charles Barton behind, who was incredibly eager, but also useless, as he decided to take to the field and play, despite not fully knowing the rules. Calm was restored a couple of minutes later when Sir Richard returned, hastily calling a team talk, and telling Charles to put the ball down and return to his customers in the pub.

"Alright then everyone, you look alright so far, but I reckon we'll need to gel more cohesively as a team if we're to beat Haïtiens in a weeks time. I'll have a look at some strategies with George, but I want everyone back here for 1pm tomorrow. See you all then."

And so everyone left, dispersing around Dwyle to wherever they were now staying or living, while Sir Richard and George returned to the pub to look over tactics for the team. Sir Richard took a seat before saying to George,

"Right, what do you think of that lot then?" George shrugged,

"They're alright. With practise we'll be able to make a proper team out of them yet." Richard nodded, before picking up his drink which had just arrived and taking a sip. "Right, so, tactics!" He said, pulling out his notebook.

"We've currently got 9 players who will definitely play, and I've managed to alert a few more - we should have at least 15 for the game, not including Sir Charles Barton," he grinned at that comment, before continuing, "however, we will need to manage our style and formation well, many of the early guys will be used to playing much differently than the older ones. Hard to say our formation at the moment, but we know we're going to have Chris Maarsden and possibly another striker up front, with yourself in a slightly drawn back position." He looked up at George, who took it all in; playing as an attacker midfielder didn't bother him, he was versatile.

"And then we're going to need to have..." Sir Richard launched into another in depth statistical analysis of the team. George sighed and ordered another drink. It would be a long afternoon.

Team Sheet from the Match (scorer in bold) Result 1-0 vs Kartvelistan
GK - Joe Frost
RD - Jack Forster (c)
CD - Dan Weekes
CD - Fronden Abel sub Athelstan Firth 68'
LD - Hans Nielssen
RM - Fari Y
CM - Will Fich
CM - Jack Moses
LM - Fran Gracie sub Sammie Puskas 68'
CF - Marlon Vetta
ST - Keri Ularu
Last edited by Apox on Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
The History of Modern NSSports internationalpost.apx (Newswire) The Apoxian Compendium
Winners: Campionato Esportiva IV, V & XVI, World T20 Championships VI, Imperial Chap Olympiad
Runners-up: CoH 58, World T20 Championships V, Campionato Esportiva XII
Third: Campionato Esportiva XIII
Fourth: Campionato Esportiva VII & XV
Baptism of Fire 50, Cup of Harmony 56, World Cup 69, World Cup 73, World Cup 82
Friendly Cups 2 & 6, World T20 Championships II, Campionato Esportiva IV, VIII, XII & XXIII, GCF Season 4, 8 & 10

User avatar
Kinzar
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 176
Founded: Feb 11, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Kinzar » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:06 pm

"Copying other people isn't cool."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, looking at what one person does, and then doing the same thing that they do."

"Oh yeah that."

"It seems to be pretty rampant in the world of sports reporting. A little bit in the World Baseball Classic and now in the World Cup too."

"Sure whatever you say."

"I think it should really stop."

"It will never stop. And I think it should not when it comes to sports reporting."

"Yeah but it happens so much. Just look at what one nation does, and then you have all of these other nations doing the same thing. I'm really getting tired of reading so many match reports talking about how blah blah scored a goal in the 20th minute."

"And then a bunch of analysis after that. Yeah, I know what you mean."

"That style is just way to common. There are at least fifty nations probably that choose that method of reporting."

"So if we went to that, then we'd really be copying people."

"Exactly."
President: Kevin Spencer
Our citizens are called, Kinzites.

User avatar
Mythic Erin
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Mar 02, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Mythic Erin » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:14 pm

Image

The job action is over! Our professionals will play in the World Cup of soccer at last. A joint announcement from the office of the High King and the Trade Union Concordat confirms that the walkout by players from all ten first-division clubs and the coordinated support campaigns by other trade unions here in Mythic Erin have been halted.

On-the-record comments are scarce on the ground. Assistant manager Kaitlyn Miller, former Hall of Fame goalkeeper for The Babbage Islands, said, "It's too bad that our international debut will likely be defined by off-the-pitch issues. But I'm glad that we now have a settlement and can return to playing football." Meanwhile soccer fans, while praising the valiant effort put forward by the amateur, clan, and university volunteers that played out the schedule for the Baptism of Fire tournament and nearly half of the World Cup qualifying, are united in looking forward to seeing their accustomed heroes in action. An urgent meeting of selectors is expected to set the player list for the balance of the competition.

Financial arrangements are for now undisclosed.

User avatar
Kinitaria
Diplomat
 
Posts: 804
Founded: Jul 05, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Kinitaria » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:28 pm

A History of Kinitar Football in Eighteen Objects
Seven: The pyramid
Image

Disclaimer: This one's a bit of a cheat. May not contain actual pyramids.

The fans, in their tens of thousands, were decisively onboard with the idea of the new, modernising game of football. Modernisation, after all, was an issue even in the early stages of the game. The country's two top-level leagues were also both onboard with it, having agreed a new status with the Federation in talks which gave both the Alliance and the Northern League equal rights to advise the Federation on matters regarding the laws of the game. Crucially, this was only an advisory status. The Federation had secured for itself the sole right to determine which laws the Kinitar clubs would play by. The clubs were also on board themselves - the Federation had, through status and precedent, turned into the body that all clubs had to belong to in order to be officially recognised. It was truly Kinitar football's governing organisation, and would remain so.

The leagues were also enjoying huge commercial success. Mass commercialisation on the scale that we see it in modern times was, of course, relatively unknown, But with the building of vast new stadiums, and record attendances almost every season, the game was definitely becoming a money maker for clubs which charged admission to their fans. Different ways of making money had been trialled, one of the most successful of which was the introduction of the season ticket - an inexpensive way to allow fans to watch all of their club's matches in one season. To see the sale of club paraphernalia was not a completely uncommon sight, but was certainly not to the extent that the modern fan sees it - concepts such as replica shirts and club logos on everything that could possibly be branded were still a long way off. But, as previously mentioned, still very successful. Accordingly, many clubs wished to be a part of this success. The Alliance was the league most affected by this, as the vast majority of Kinitaria's population existed in a combination of the industrialised south-east (which included the capital city of Mi'ato and most of the nation's other principal cities, such as Damaciu) and the vast agricultural area of the south-west, which contained many port cities, such as Damaciu.

The way the Alliance dealt with this in its inaugural season has already been mentioned - the league chose, by ballot, two teams to be added to the ranks of its membership, starting the next season with 14 teams instead of the 12 that it had started off with. Two years later, they did the same thing again, the league's second expansion taking membership of the Alliance to 16 teams. On the ballot which expanded the Alliance to 16 members, though, there were seven teams who did not make the cut. And when the league's governing body announced plans to expand the league still further to 18 teams, they received an unprecedented 23 applications. They didn't even bother to make the member clubs vote on which two clubs were to be admitted. Instead, they began to look for alternative solutions. They would find one by looking abroad, to see the system used in other nations in the region. Many countries in Atlantian Oceania had, even at that time, a league system which consisted of two or more tiers, with relegation and promotion between the various levels. As is so often the case in this early era, while this idea seems to modern ears to be too obvious to even bother mentioning, when it was first suggested at the Alliance's general meeting in 3364, it was a revolutionary idea which had never before been considered in Kinitaria.

Accordingly, the Alliance soon announced their plans for the 3366 season. Instead of admitting two new teams to the Alliance, which would stay as it was, they would admit sixteen, who would form the newly christened "Alliance Two". Furthermore, at the end of every season, the two lowest-finishing teams in the Alliance (soon to be known as the "Alliance One") would be expelled from their division and replaced with the two highest-finishing teams in the newly established second tier. For many of the clubs in the Alliance at the time, this was a step that was too radical for them to support. Teams like Dobrakino, typically from scarcely-inhabited towns, rather enjoyed the prestige and revenue that was available to them through their membership of the Alliance, and didn't particularly like the idea that it might be taken from them by forcing them to compete at a lower level. On the other hand, the more established and prestigious teams, such as Serenberg and Mi'ato, felt as though they had little to lose from supporting such an idea, and the prospect of doubling the ranks of the Alliance's membership was too lucrative for them to ignore. Nevertheless, the issue was debated fiercely amongst the ranks of the Alliance, throwing into doubt the prospect that the new plans would even be implemented for the new season. When the Alliance's governing body called the vote towards the end of 3365, however, the motion passed by the simple majority (10-6) that it needed to be implemented, and the process began of admitting teams to the new second tier.

As part of the new plan to renovate the leagues, the rule that each town or city could only provide one team to the league was abolished. The initial proposal was for it to be replaced with one that would permit each town or city to provide no more than one team to each division, but this was struck down after opposition from clubs who were largely from the bigger cities in Kinitaria. It paved the way for a league system largely resembling the one in place today. 28 applications were received for the 16 available places in the Alliance, including from the university teams who had started the ball rolling, so to speak, in Kinitaria in the first place. Amongst the applicants were the National University of Mi'ato, and the University of Serenberg, both of whom thought that getting their football teams into such a prestigious national competition would do wonders for their reputation. In the end, neither were successful, losing out to some more established club sides. But after a lengthy period of voting, the proposals were finalised: 16 clubs would contest the Alliance Two for the 3366 season.

Olimpia Mi'ato, who were the first team to be admitted in lieu of the "one team per city" rule, starred in the opening game of the season, in which they saw off Andauveld 3-2. Meanwhile, the clubs at the bottom end of the rechristened Alliance One were, for the first time, haunted by the spectre of relegation. The move was praised by many outside observers, as it meant that teams who went into the season with limited hope of challenging for the league title would still have something to play for throughout the season, as well as giving their fans (and players) a competitive league season. The first relegation scrap in Kinitar history was certainly an entertaining one, with a new record for goals per game (5.05) being set throughout the season, a record which still stands today. Many of these high-scoring games were to be found at the bottom end of the table, an example being a six-pointer (or four-pointer, as it was then) between Isla Rosa and Dobrakino. Despite holding a 3-1 lead at some point, Dobrakino were made to work for the two points, which they eventually claimed by overcoming their stubborn opposition 8-5. Eventually, though, the two teams who would hold the dubious honour of being the first to drop out of the Alliance One would be Dobrakino and Seliste.

The race to find out who would replace these two teams, meanwhile, was equally as fiercely contested. Tiplesti, who hail from a relatively small town on the Kinitar coast, were favourites for a long period of time, but would fade out of the race towards the end of the season. Olimpia Mi'ato would also put in a strong performance, which meant that they were right up at the top end of the table come the end of the season. The standout performers by a long distance, however, were Union Serenberg, another team taking advantage of the abolition of the "one club per city" rule, and also one of the first standalone football clubs in the country. They only lost one game all season, eventually confirming their promotion with four games left, and the inaugural Alliance Two title just one game later. The second and final promotion spot would be contested right down to the final game of the season, when it came down to a game between Olimpia Mi'ato and Kurevi, in which the winner would be promoted, with Olimpia holding the advantage if it was to be drawn. Normally, such games are supposed to be intensely competitive and dramatic affairs, but that was not to be the case on this occasion. Olimpia ran out 4-0 winners, and the outcome was never in doubt, thus completing the lineup for Kinitar football's first ever exchange of teams between two different divisions.

The Northern League was having similar issues regarding supply and demand, and it had expanded to fourteen teams by the time the first ever season of the new Alliance Two kicked off. Upon seeing the commercial success that having a second tier brought to the southern clubs in the Alliance, the Northern League announced their own expansion to a second tier, as well as the abolition of their own one club per city rule, ahead of the 3369 season. This brought a wealth of new applicants - the official count being 31, after invalid applications had been discarded - and so the decision was made to follow the same lines as the Alliance. The Northern League would be expanded to 16 teams, and would be retitled as "Division One", with a second tier below that being known as "Division Two". As in the Alliance, several applications from university sides were received, and while it may have been conceivable that one or two of them might make it into the new second tier, what no-one was expecting was for the side from Tirinthea University to be elected to the top tier, as they duly were (and, indeed, still are, playing in the Premier Division in modern times, although they have no formal links remaining to the academic institution from which they sprang).

Given the ease with which both of the nation's top leagues were able to form second tiers, it was perhaps no surprise that a few years later, both would elect third tiers. The Alliance led the way, with the creation of an "Alliance Three" being announced ahead of the start of the 3385 season, also including sixteen teams, and the Northern League would soon follow suit with their own Third Division, inaugurated in 3389. So many applications were received for the Alliance Three that it was decided in 3392 to regionalise the tier, another innovative and revolutionary move for the time in which it was suggested. As such, the 3393 season kicked off with teams in the third tier divided by geographical location for the first time. Two leagues ran in parallel - the Alliance Three (West) and Alliance Three (East). Two teams would be promoted from each, with four being relegated from the second tier. The Northern League would lag behind on introducing a regional split, but they eventually would, although not until the next century.

With profits reaching record levels, membership of both of Kinitaria's regional leagues shooting through the roof, and unforeseen levels of interest in the national game, those in the upper echelons of Kinitar football must have thought they had it made. The clubs and leagues were all working together in harmony, or at least in a period of peaceful mutual coexistence, with the Federation. But no-one had thought to consult the players. "Player power", as a concept, had previously been unheard of. But it was about to become a thing, and as it arrived, it would shock the whole structure of the game.
Technocratic State of Kinitaria | capital: Mi'ato | RP population: 145 million | demonym: Kinitar
trigramme: KIN | colours: blue and yellow | languages: Kinitar (de facto) and English | island nation | MT
Weather in Mi'ato | Litora | Serenberg

Economic Left/Right: -5.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.26

Champions: Baptism of Fire 47 | Hosts: Baptism of Fire 52 (with Legalese), Cup of Harmony 60 (with Kazamatsuri), AOCAF 43

User avatar
Northern Sunrise Islands
Minister
 
Posts: 2547
Founded: May 05, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Northern Sunrise Islands » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:43 pm



WORLD CUP 65
Family matters, victory too. NSI beats New Lowerlands 2-1

After their first loss in this World Cup qualifiers, the Sunrisians seem to be returning to their tracks after beating the team of New Lowerlands by 2-1. To a filled Union Stadium, the Vaporeons would have a great game against a team that wasn't great, but managed to bite the Sunrisian team in the end.

The team decided to pick a mixed line-up in order to give some rest and some thinking time to most of the squad that loss to Lymantatia and tied with Farfadillis, granting the top position to the Farfs after the loss. But in the end, the match was almost a training shoot-out to the Sunrisians, who prefered to give a show of dribbling to the fans, but still remembering to score once in a while.

The first goal came from "Starfox" McCloud, who intercepted a pass from New Lowerlands in the left midfield, lobbed it to Patiy, who would roll the ball to the left, so that Iau Mangalonga could pick it up and pass it to the front, where a rushing McCloud would shoot with almost all of his strength to the back of the net.

The second goal came from our favourite dazzler, Namine Nagatomo, who with a couple of her old streety moves, have been giving us a couple of goals, even in low times. This time, she dribbled through a good number of defenders until eventually rolling the ball between the legs of the goalie of New Lowerlands, to then celebrate with the rest of the team.

In the second half, the Sunrisians became even more stylish than usual, but couldn't help but allow a goal pass through the hands of Sioux in the eigthieth minute of the match. Game over, Sunrisians now have even more ground to run over as they get closer to the end of the first half of qualifiers, with four wins, a tie and a loss.

NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS - 2
M. Sioux ; A. de Souza, P. Mangalonga, N. Hanekawa, A. Hawk; T. McCloud (33'), I. Mangalonga, Duda, N. Nagatomo (65'); M. Patiy, L. Montblanc
NEW LOWERLANDS - 1
We don't have a clue of their names, aside from a goal in the 80' marker.


OTHER NEWS
> Chernoti Namorelova from Chernomoretz guarantee a spot at the Soviet League
> PKMNA-NSI National Tournament Profile: Elissa Suecot of Sunrice, possible champion
> Instituto Técnico Madruga interested in possible "Pokémon Gardens"
> City of Peczemá proud of Farf national team being first at Group 7

Image
Image
Tails... Watch out, you're gonna crash, aaaaah!
Project +90 | Sunrise's Sportwires (shared with Dainer) | PokéCard ~ Label Guide
Champion: WC 75 and 76, U-15 WC 4 and 6, DBC 29 and 41
Now known as Kita-Hinode

User avatar
Wight
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1118
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
New York Times Democracy

WC-65 MD-7

Postby Wight » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:12 pm

.
Last edited by Wight on Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
::: WIGHT :::
BECAUSE REASONS

PreviousNext

Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to NS Sports

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Aphrilia, The Plough Islands, Tumbra

Advertisement

Remove ads