The 52nd Baptism of Fire Everything Thread

by **Sondstead** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:16 pm

Szelim Nagy @levraiszelimnagy16m
Yes it has been confirmed to me that I will miss game tonight
against @neuengollonfootball due to red card. Not saying
anything more...
Expand

Szelim Nagy @levraiszelimnagy10m
@g&r_storfan want me to say something that would get me in
more trouble? don't push me bro!
View conversation

Szelim Nagy @levraiszelimnagy4m
@jen_kssunr yeah, the ref's call was wrong imo but still you all
r just "trollin", 2 many gays like u on this gay network...
View conversation

Roughly two hours later;

Szelim Nagy @levraiszelimnagy5m
Apologize profusely for messages I made which are now deleted.
I hold no ill towards anyone who is gay and I was hungover from last
night.
Expand

Szelim Nagy @levraiszelimnagy2m
Furthermore, I will accept the punishment the association deems
appropriate.
Expand

All those things you wanted to know about Sondstead but were afraid to ask? Our 95% Anglo staff asked it.

Sondsteadish Pop Culture · Sports in Sondstead · Technology · Weird Stuff · Visiting Sondstead

Tom Markussunr chats with TV3 reporters the morning after Sondstead's victory.
"Grenr ond Reädr" fans pumped; team cautious; Nagy's bizarre/hilarious outburst. (6 June 2013)

Contributed by Ash Terry · Great match for Sondstead fans last night! Not only did the team we all love (well, the team most of us love, but still, you're on this website so!) pull off a victory, but it was an entertaining game of football. Of course, while the Carizzal team was an unknown commodity I know a lot of you expected Sondstead to win.

The next game really has everyone in the bleachers pumped, with the matchup being Neu Engollon, who despite fears from the Neu Engollon... Neu Engollonian? Neu Engollonish? coach that their under-funded team would crumble dominated their first opponent Joshulia with a four nil victory. The game is expected to a tough, thrilling one, but fans are still confident Sondstead can pull the rabbit out of the hat, especially as there's always a chance that one great match performance is a fluke. Overall, the atmosphere is totally electric.

The Green and Red side itself is a little more cautious, as evidenced by team captain Markussunr's chat with TV3 this morning. Ever the collected, professional player (which is why he's captain, I guess!), he praised the Carizzal playing, cautioned fans that Neu Engollon would be a tough team to play and pledged to do his best, and mentioned he was "a bit disappointed" in Szelim Nagy for playing "dirty football" and agreed with the decision to keep him benched tonight. Hey, speaking of that...

Yes, he really, really tweeted that. Wow. He deleted it after about an hour of course, but as you can see, nothing dies on the internet. His followup; "Apologize profusely for messages I made which are now deleted. I hold no ill towards anyone who is gay and I was hungover from last night. Furthermore, I will accept the punishment the association deems appropriate.". Of course, I do believe he was hammered as all hell from the quality of those tweets. And hey, it only took two hours for him to apologize!

Still, word is the SFB is looking at suspending him for at least the rest of the BoF and World Cup and has denounced his comments while stressing heavily that Sondstead is a very welcoming country for it's gay and lesbian citizens. On the other hand, I think some people have said he should never play for the national team again, which is silly. He's a young, drunk guy who made a mistake, just like every other young, drunk guy has. Give him a chance to learn from it.

Kristjan E̊sbjussunr will replace Nagy on the starting lineup tonight according to Tomas Rum. Still, kind of sucks to be him. Even worse to be Hwitrländer of course; 35 years and you finally get almost to the World Cup stage and you're grounded for the whole tournament after 35 minutes. Heck, rumour is he might announce his retirement from professional football soon. Although hopefully not too soon... We'll be crushed if the team gets a blow like that to their morale.

by **Brenecia** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:19 pm

"Well-played by Riggs to take possession," sighed Rowan. He was in theory the colour commentator for the Brenecia-Kikwipeyi fixture, but there really hadn't been that much... colour. "Just a pity about the long ball out to Huckerby..."
"Looks like it's Lyons off for Fontaine just as ninety minutes arrives," said Garrett. "A sound move; Lawless is looking for the win here."
"Yeah, pity there's only two minutes' injury time."
Attacking midfielder Fontaine raced onto the pitch as play restarted. Kikwipeyi's keeper took no chances and belted it long and inaccurately. Rowan almost howled as it went out for a throw-in.
"Come the christ on!" he groaned.
"For the benefit of our audience," said Garrett, venomously, "the goalkick goes out for a throw-in deep in Brenecia's half."
"Neither team seems desperate for the win here. Kikwipeyi's just lying back and waiting for the draw t' happen," grumbled Rowan. "Brenecia have got to get their shit together..."
"Silence out to Riggs. To Twining." A pause. "Still Twining. Still Twini-- !"
"Tipped over the bar," grunted Rowan.
Garrett glared at his apathetic wingman. "Twining takes the corner in Lyons' absence. It's... it's-- !"
"Headed clear. And there was the full-time whistle. Bloody hellfire that was dismal-"
"Join us next week on Hazard Sports for the next match!" said Garrett urgently, "as we are joined by guest commentator Lukas Strongnesse!"
Rowan grunted. They cut the feed.

OOC Note/Reader Participation: If there's any particular character from prior New Sideburn RPs you want to see as a guest host, telegram me and I'll write them in to one of the next updates!

by **Aels** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:36 pm

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Kinitaria

Barren night for Aelsh with Colland stopper on song

Colland 0
Aels 0
IF YOU tried to find one word to describe the Aels performance last night in their first official World Cup Committee-sanctioned match, you may struggle to get past "unlucky".

Certainly, the match statistics from the Stadion Nasiyonala would suggest that to be the case. Ten shots, out of a total of 24, were attempted by an increasingly frustrated Aels side in the last half hour of the match; all but one of those stung the hands of the Colland goalkeeper. Aels dominated possession across the park, too, having more of the ball in each third of the pitch.

Just ask Elwyn Richard, the only player on this Aels team with prior World Cup experience. Four World Cups' worth, in fact. He also happens to be captain of the side, and not surprisingly so. Richard is well known for his goalscoring prowess, having won the Iturributan Football Federation's (FIF) top goalscorer award four times when it has been handed out. But last night against the unknowns of Colland, even a man who has played in two Copa de Campeones finals, four World Cup cycles and five Copa Rushmori couldn't find a way past the in-form opposition custodian.

Aels' preparations for this match were no doubt hampered by the lack of any reliable information about Colland, their team or their style of play. Indeed, in the press box last night, Colland's players were only referred to by their shirt numbers, such was the lack of even the most basic of details including player names.

Not that there was much to report on from the Colland point of view as they managed a paltry one attempt at goal, which was off-target. No, the only man anyone in the press box wanted to know about was the goalkeeper. Just who is he, and how did he manage to produce that stunning form?

"Everyone has their day in the sun," James McConnell noted wryly after the match. "I didn't have much to do at my end but he was certainly playing a blinder and unfortunately he kept us at bay, which is a bit disappointing from our point of view."

Sergyei Arefev was keen not to dwell on the match, and urged his players to look forward to their next challenge. "There's no question we're going to come away from this match less than happy with what we got from it, but we couldn't prepare properly for it. Elwyn Richard led on the field and adapted the style of play in response but it wasn't to be, so we'll move on. We've got a difficult task next in Luzvimindia and that's where our focus is."

And so while the people back home—and those who were in the press box last night—continue to muse about the inspired form of Colland's goalkeeper, or the misfortune of Aels, the side already have their sights elsewhere. And in a few days so will everyone else.

Match ratings: J McConnell 6.5, R Jones 6.5, O Griffiths 7.0, I Maddox 7.0, S Andrews 7.5, C O'Connor 7.0, R Evans (vc) 7.0, A Jones 8.0, G Evans 7.0, B Thomas 7.5, E Richard 8.0; Subs: I Thomas (for R Jones) 6.5, J Morgan (for B Thomas) 7.0
Bookings: None
Goals: None

by **Kalusia** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:36 pm

Mobinôs stepped into the dressing room of the team. The room went silent at an instant, as he had shown during the training that he was the commander of the team after all. He said: ''Boys... tonight's match we must win. If we don't win, we will not stand a chance. Winning isn't an option. It's not an obligation either. It should be a guarantee!'' The 18 players, as well as the 5 Kalusian supporters who were chosen by a media corporation out of the supporters who came along with the players to Kinitaria to cheer for the Golden Stripes. But the chief general of the Kalusian Army as his title had jokingly become over the past weeks continued: ''I have taken a look at the footage of the match Chiata, our opponent tonight, played. They had a defensive style going, and I wish to break their stonewalls with our dynamite. That's why we'll be playing in the 3-4-3 formation tonight and I did an entire overhaul of the positions. We shall start with Graboôn (Têrzibâlt) in the left striker's position, and move Fejîs to the center of the field. We hope that you'll get a lot of opportunities, Kamas. Then, Amân (Brôntir) will take over Gôspo's (Srêdonâ's) position on the field, and the empty spot that comes up will be filled by you, Hêlvîs (Kâmarân). Gôjlêv will move to the midfield and replace Rôx there, and the right back position will be filled by Wêrno (Zanti). Zinis (Terûm) will have full responsibility over the defense, along with Amân, who will try smother a possibly dangerous situation as soon as possible. Because Alêgzârnêr is up to the midfield, I want the backs, Wêrno, Kamôn, to move in the horizontal more than you do vertically. I want you to focus on keeping the gates shut, and not having our three-man defense being pierced like Swiss cheese. The offense will go through the amazing passing of Alêgs towards Robên and possibly to Kamas. Okay?''

by **Kinitaria** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:01 pm

Matchday 2 Results

Neu Engollon 2 - 0 Sondstead                       Stadion Munisipaliya, 18:00
Felix 1 - 0 Mr Creeper                             Stadion Munisipaliya, 21:00

Aquitayne 2 - 0 Bloodridge                         Stadion Viteanii Revolusii, 15:00
Sudagiu 4 - 0 Mythic Erin                          Stadion Viteanii Revolusii, 18:00
Nandezia 4 - 3 Tasrailia                           Stadion Viteanii Revolusii, 21:00

Neo Lemmitania 0 - 2 Nouvel Ecosse                 Parc Četatii, 15:00
Telnaior 0 - 3 German-Spanish Empire               Parc Četatii, 18:00
Hontaypyar 1 - 0 Tantamir                          Parc Četatii, 21:00

The Greater Archipelago 3 - 0 The Fair Republic    Stadion Republicana, 15:00
Ethington 7 - 0 The City of Woe                    Stadion Republicana, 21:00

Metropolis Mania 2 - 1 The Fief of Sir Kunne       Arena Damacii, 15:00
Free Republics 2 - 1 Brenecia                      Arena Damacii, 18:00
Mechelen 2 - 0 Kikwipeyi                           Arena Damacii, 21:00

Arkolon 1 - 3 De La Fleur                          Stadion Universitii, 15:00
Fristat and Marianopolis 0 - 0 Oralana             Stadion Universitii, 18:00

Tirdarsaor 0 - 1 Albaie                            Stadion Orašii, 15:00
Luzvimindia 2 - 0 Aels                             Stadion Orašii, 21:00

Asasia 0 - 1 Colland                               Stadion Nasiyonala, 15:00
Qatarus 3 - 0 Phing Phong                          Stadion Nasiyonala, 21:00

Querria 0 - 1 Penileanium                          Stadion "Dinamo", 15:00
Europa Brittania 2 - 1 Lzherusskia                 Stadion "Dinamo", 18:00
Speranda 2 - 0 Joshulia                            Stadion "Dinamo", 21:00

Chiata 1 - 0 Kalusia                               Central Stadium, 18:00
Soviet New Ireland 0 - 1 Punum                     Central Stadium, 21:00

Sangti 3 - 0 Piddlehinton                          Stadion "Lumar Beqiri", 15:00
Carizzal 2 - 0 Lahoa                               Stadion "Lumar Beqiri", 21:00

Mizuyuki 4 - 0 Borealia                            Arena "Spartak", 15:00
Kaznan 2 - 1 TailsPrower                           Arena "Spartak", 18:00
Subramani 1 - 1 The Sovan Antithesis               Arena "Spartak", 21:00

Casaran Standings

1. Felix (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 5 GD 6 SoV 6 SoS
2. German-Spanish Empire (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 4 GD 6 SoV 6 SoS
3. Nouvel Ecosse (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 3 GD 6 SoV 6 SoS
4. Metropolis Mania (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 2 GD 6 SoV 6 SoS
5. Ethington (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 9 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
6. Sudagiu (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 8 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
7. Aquitayne (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 6 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
8. Neu Engollon (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 6 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
9. The Greater Archipelago (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 5 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
10. Nandezia (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 4 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
11. Hontaypyar (2-0-0) 6 Pts. 3 GD 3 SoV 3 SoS
12. Mechelen (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 2 GD 2.333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
13. De La Fleur (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 2 GD 2.333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
14. Free Republics (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 1 GD 2.333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
15. Albaie (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 1 GD 2.333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
16. Luzvimindia (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 2 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 2 SoS
17. Colland (1-1-0) 4 Pts. 1 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 2 SoS
18. Neo Lemmitania (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 1 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
19. Tasrailia (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
20. Tantamir (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
21. Mr Creeper (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
22. Sondstead (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -1 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
23. The Fair Republic (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -2 GD 3 SoV 9 SoS
24. Bloodridge (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -1 GD 1 SoV 7 SoS
25. Mythic Erin (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -3 GD 1 SoV 7 SoS
26. Qatarus (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 2 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
27. Sangti (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 2 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
28. Speranda (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 1 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
29. The Fief of Sir Kunne (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
30. Telnaior (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -1 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
31. Penileanium (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -3 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
32. The City of Woe (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -6 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
33. Mizuyuki (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 3 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
34. Carizzal (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 1 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
35. Europa Brittania (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
36. Kaznan (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
37. Chiata (1-0-1) 3 Pts. 0 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
38. Punum (1-0-1) 3 Pts. -2 GD 0 SoV 3 SoS
39. Oralana (0-2-0) 2 Pts. 0 GD 1 SoV 3 SoS
40. Fristat and Marianopolis (0-2-0) 2 Pts. 0 GD 1 SoV 3 SoS
41. Tirdarsaor (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -1 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 8 SoS
42. Aels (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -2 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 8 SoS
43. Asasia (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -1 GD 0.6666666666666666 SoV 6 SoS
44. Arkolon (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -2 GD 0.6666666666666666 SoV 6 SoS
45. Brenecia (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -1 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
46. Kikwipeyi (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -2 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 5 SoS
47. The Sovan Antithesis (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -1 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 4 SoS
48. Subramani (0-1-1) 1 Pts. -1 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 4 SoS
49. Kalusia (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -4 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
50. Lahoa (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -4 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
51. Lzherusskia (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -5 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
52. Piddlehinton (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -5 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
53. Borealia (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -6 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
54. Joshulia (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -6 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
55. Phing Phong (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -7 GD 0 SoV 9 SoS
56. Querria (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -2 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
57. Soviet New Ireland (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -2 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS
58. TailsPrower (0-0-2) 0 Pts. -3 GD 0 SoV 6 SoS

I will now be handing over the scorination of the Casaran phase to Legalese, who will post the matchday 3 fixtures at his standard cut-off time of 2am BST, which is 9pm Eastern or 6pm Pacific (today).

The cutoff for matchday 3 will take place at 2am BST on Saturday 8 June, or 9pm Eastern/6pm Pacific on Friday 7th.

by **Chiata** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 4:14 pm

Chiata National Newspaper

Cheers were everywhere. Everyone was really happy. Why, you ask? Because the Chiata Suns have won their first major football game. This large feet was done by a good and agressive defence. Gross had multiple stops and was the MVP of the game. The score was 1 to 0. Swade scored the winning goal on another great assist from Ringer-Toso. Swade has made all of the Sun's goals. The Sun's jumped up 5 positions and are now ranked number 37. This moral boosting win has sent the Sun's charging forward.

by **Nandezia** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:14 pm

Nandezia inches past Tasrailia!

Nandezia once again put four goals in the back of the net, but with much less comfort than their first game of the Baptism of Fire.

The Canaries were able to take a 2-0 lead after 27 minutes and were seeming to dominate play. Robin Federer knocked one in for the Tigers in the 36th minute, bringin Tasrailia back into the game. However, just before half, Jimeno Moles of Mjolnir United got his head to a cross that the goalie simply couldn't stop. After half time, Tasrailia were able to get two goals within 6 minutes to tie the game at 3-3. Luckily, Chevalier was able to speed past his defender on the right side and blasted a goal in the final seconds of the game. Both teams played wonderful football, and Tasrailia gave Nandezia a run for their money in the second half. However, with their 3-1 lead from the first half, and Chevalier's powerful boot, Nandezia was able to extend their winning streak to 2. They'll have high spirits for Matchday Three, having two wins in the bag.

Julian Vipond (Nandezia) 9'
Joseph Timoteo (Nandezia) 27'
Robin Federer (Tasrailia) 36'
Jimeno Moles (Nandezia) 45'
Michael Mole (Tasrailia) 54'
Jarrod Murphy (Tasrailia) 60'
Leonide Chevalier (Nandezia) 90'

by **Legalese** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:17 pm

Welcome to Legalese! I hope the flight for everyone was pleasant - just a short hop north from the Kinitarian lands on Vircais, up to Eastern Calania, where Legalese resides just between the Calanian Sound and the Nemyan Strait. Now that everyone is settled, here are the upcoming matchups for tomorrow's Third Matchday, in the 52nd Baptism of Fire:

Felix v. Nandezia
German-Spanish Empire v. The Greater Archipelago
Nouvel Ecosse v. Neu Engollon
Metropolis Mania v. Aquitayne

Ethington v. Sudagiu
Hontaypyar v. Mechelen
De La Fleur v. Luzvimindia
Free Republics v. Albaie

Colland v. Neo Lemmitania
Tasrailia v. Punum
Tantamir v. Kaznan
Mr Creeper v. Chiata
Sondstead v. Europa Brittania

The Fair Republic v. Carizzal
Bloodridge v. Mizuyuki
Mythic Erin v. The City of Woe
Qatarus v. Penileanium

Sangti v. Telnaior
Speranda v. The Fief of Sir Kunne
Orlana v. Aels
Fristat and Marianopolis v. Tirdarsaor

Asasia v. Subramani
Arkolon v. Kikwipeyi
Brenecia v. The Sovan Antithesis
Kalusia v. TailsPrower

Lahoa v. Soviet New Ireland
Lzherusskia v. Querria
Piddlehinton v. Phing Phong
Borealia v. Joshulia

As a note, tomorrow's cutoff will be roughly 24 hours from now, inside of a window starting at 9:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time (6 PM Pacific Daylight Time/2 AM British Summer Time), and extending to 9:45 PM that same evening. Should further delay be required, I shall notify the participants via the World Cup Discussion Thread.

Thank you for your participation and cooperation.

by **Ethington** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:06 pm

ACT FOUR: Dominance
Posted by AJ at 4:09

4', GOAL, Shirffle, deflected shot (1), 1:0
7', GOAL, Fields, diving header (1), 2:0
16', GOAL, St. Claire, left-footed shot (1), 3:0
44', GOAL, Césasarælía, right-footed shot (3), 4:0
46', Lehtonen◄►Césasarælía
67', GOAL, Lehtonen, free kick (1), 5:0
75', OWN GOAL, 6:0
84', GOAL, St. Claire, left-footed shot (2), 7:0
84', St. Claire◄►Trengrove

"All in, All game." were the only words Tristen Donnel had to describe tonight's match between the Æthons and The City of Woe. No one could have expected this team to come out and drop seven goals. No one could have expected them to chase the opposing keeper after three quick goals. No one could have expected them to continue to blast shots. Had I told you this team would score three goals in 16 minutes, and Césasarælía wouldn't have scored one of them, you would have called me crazy, and deleted your Final Third bookmark. Even still, they weren't done then. Yes, Césasarælía did score a goal, and just two minutes later (at half) she was subbed off, likely to prevent injury.

Yet, inexplicably, it happened, and here we are, fifth ranked in the league! The team has already hopped on a short flight (I'm on the plane too), and are on their way to Legalese for tomorrow's match.

Until then, AJ, signing off from 16,000 kilometers!

by **Sondstead** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:21 pm

Dissappointment in the air for Sondstead at Litora
High spirits dashed as team handed a clean sheet by Neu Engollon

6 June 2013

_{Mihäel Hömmel reacts to the goal scored by Neu Engollon's Brenz.}

Litora, Kinitaria — In their second game of the Baptism of Fire tournament, the Sondsteadish team and it's fans entered with high hopes but left humbled after a two to nil loss against Neu Engollon.

The team entered with morale being slightly worse for wear with veteran defender E̊sbjus Hwitrländer suffering a cup-ending sprain ankle in the first game of the tournament for Sondstead and unsubstantiated rumours swirling before the game that Hwitrländer was on the verge of announcing his retirement from football following the injury, as well as embarrassment caused by midfielder Szelim Nagy's already infamous "Twitter meltdown". With both players out, the game began with Durante Abandonato and Kristjan E̊sbjussunr substituting for them, respectively.

At only 6 minutes in, Neu Engollon's captain Joachim Brenz scored the first goal of the game with a powerful shot despite a valiant effort by László Agócs and Äster Bage̊r-Lusjanssunr to block him. Neu Engollon continued to play a highly aggressive game which the Sondsteadish defence managed to hold off despite it's ferocity for the rest of the first half.

The game resumed with Neu Engollon continuing their offensive. However, their aggressiveness backfired somewhat at 57 minutes in when Neu Engollon's wunderkind striker Erich Siebach tripped Sondstead's Jen Weäldrberg, with the referee granting Sondstead a free kick. Coach Tomas Rum chose to substitute in Gamal Karimi in place of Weäldrberg, and gave Karimi the free kick. Karimi made a strong curling shot, but one which proved to be off target by several centimetres, striking the side of the net.

The Sondsteadish team returned to the field further demoralized, and despite a continued strong Sondsteadish defence Siebach scored Neu Engollon's second goal of the game at 70 minutes in, leaving Sondstead scrambling to catch up in the last twenty minutes. Sondstead went on the offensive in the last minutes, but desperation seemed to set in, with the Sondsteadish plays growing frantic and team making several unfortunate slip-ups, with the game reaching full time at two to nil having seen no further change in the score.

"We might have got a little cocky after our first match", said defender Durante Abandonato. "We thought 'if we do well against Neu Engollon, we can do well against anyone. If we beat them we're in it to win it'. But we didn't pull it off. It's something that happens. If we can pick back up, we still have a chance to get into the knockout stage.".

Following the disheartening results and with flights to catch north to Legalese, the Sondsteadish team and fans filtered out quickly. Sondstead's first matchup in Legalese will be Europa Brittania, a middling team, with the Green and Red side holding 22nd in the Casaran rankings. To make it into the knockout stage of the tournament Sondstead will need to improve their ranking to 16th at the minimum.

Comment or read more at www.srrsondsteadworld.org

by **Neo Lemmitania** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:02 pm

Mom! Mommmm! Mom! Mommy!

Mom: What is it, little Billy?

Little Billy: I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?

Mom: Oh gee, Billy, I haven’t even had time to think about dinner. What with all the lemmings overrunning the house, and the leaky roof, and your jackass father’s late child support payment--

LB: I’m huuuungry!

Mom: Bejeezus help me, whatever shall I do?

Voiceover: How many times has this happened to you? You just don’t have time to think about feeding the children, between working your fingers to the bone at the Corporation and fending off a plague of lemmings trying to flood through every orifice into your home. But now, you can make that curse into a blessing thanks to the LemmingDogger(tm) from the Electric Lemming Corporation!

Mom: The LemmingDogger? What’s that?

VO: Why, it’s just the latest in in-home lemming edibility conversion technology, ma’am!

Mom: Lemming edibility conversion? What’s that?

VO: It’s simply the quantum science of converting lemmings from horrid vermin into edible foodstuffs. Here’s how it works. Do you see all those lemmings squirming through the crevasse in your kitchen floor?

Mom: Do I, ever! I’ve tried putting duct tape over that crack, and concrete, and I’ve even tried sitting over it and hammering them back down with a mallet! But whatever I do, they just keep coming!

VO: Of course they do. They’re lemmings, the worst form of vermin on earth. You can’t stop them from getting into your home.

Mom: Oh, no!

VO: But don’t despair, dear lady. In fact, it’s time to celebrate. Because I’ve just given you an ELC LemmingDogger!

Mom: It looks sort of like a grinder with a sausage-skin dispenser at the end of it.

VO: That’s a great description! What a natural you are!

Mom: Oh, you.

VO: Now all you have to do is take a handful of lemmings

Little Billy: Ew! Gross!

Mom: Hush, Billy. Although, I would feel better about touching them if I had a pair of hermetically-sealed gloves.

VO: That’s included in the box, Miss.

Mom: So it is. Okay, I’ve got one of them-- they’re squirmy little fellas, aren’t they?

VO: Now just stuff him into the funnel opening.

Mom: Okay--

VO: Now hit that switch on the front.

Mom: Billy, can you do it, please? I’ve got my hands full of lemming.

LB: I’ve got it, Mom!

VO: And, presto!

LB: Ewwwww! GROSS!

Mom: Oh, Bejeezus help me! Aaaaugh!

VO: As you can see, the grinding action of the LemmingDogger just sucks the lemming right into the funnel opening.

LB: It’s screaming! Mommy, it’s screaming!

VO: Lemmings can’t scream, Billy.

Mom: Close your eyes, Billy! Don’t look!

VO: And just like that, the horrid vermin lemming has been converted into a set of delicious hot dogs!

Mom: It’s okay, Billy, just go ahead and keep throwing up. Oh, I feel faint.

VO: Mmmmm. They’re yummylicious(tm). You can’t beat a lemming dog fresh from the LemmingDogger.

Mom: Blargh!

VO: When you’re done vomiting, you have to try one! They’re soooo good!

Mom: Oh, Bejeezus. I... can’t wait.

VO: Get your LemmingDogger from your favorite retailer today!

Shemp: Mmm, sounds great. I can’t wait to try a lemming dog. How about you. Hedda?

Hedda: Um, I think I’ll pass, Shemp.

Shemp: Folks, this is Shemp Wooley, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, bringing you tonight’s edition of Shemp’s Corner, the only pan-athletic sporting wrap-up on Neo-Lemmitanian television. Joining me in the studio this evening is Hedda Lemstrong, host of NLRN’s own Thursday Night Basketball. Hedda, welcome to the show.

Hedda: Thanks, Shemp. Glad to be here.

Shemp: So the NLWBL is coming up on the midway mark, and the fans have been voting for this year’s all-stars to compete in the mid-season classic. And most notable, I think, is Shelly McLemstader garnering nearly a million votes more than her nearest rival. What do you think of that?

Hedda: I mean, it’s not a huge surprise is it, Shemp? Shelly averaged nearly thirty-five points a game last season, and she’s at forty so far this year. That’s unprecedented.

Shemp: I remember in the seventies when Sue Lemcindor was at the height of her career. A little before your time, Hedda. Lemcindor had a hell of a jumper. Probably the best shot from the top of the key that I’ve ever seen. And she was so tall, she could dunk over virtually any defender. I remember in those days we thought she was unstoppable. And she led Los Lemgeles to five titles in nine years.

Hedda: I feel a ‘but’ coming on.

Shemp: But-- I have to tell you, I think Shelly McLemstader is the better player.

Hedda: She has the complete game, Shemp. I can’t remember a woman with the combination of offensive and defensive chops that she has. No wonder the Wildlemmings are leading their group by thirteen games.

Shemp: I almost feel like we can call the season right now. Who can challenge them?

Hedda: I mean, it’s foolish to write off the rest of the league only thirty games in, but between McLemstader and Lemma Wixo, I can’t imagine how they could possibly be shut down. Short of injury.

Shemp: That’s right, and let’s not forget that Wixo sat out half of last season with a magnetic hamstring.

Hedda: An impossible injury, according to many doctors. But she had one, and that’s that.

Shemp: And if she gets one again, who knows? But if those two stay healthy, I think it’s a forgone conclusion.

Hedda: Absolutely.

Shemp: Now, let’s talk Baptism of Fire. Have you been following the tournament?

Hedda: I have, Shemp. I think I like this ‘football.’ What’s not clear to me is why the entire national side is men.

Shemp: I can’t answer that, Hedda. All the players are drawn from the Neo-Lemmitanian Rugby League.

Hedda: Sounds like sexism. The NLRL being entirely male.

Shemp: While I wouldn’t suggest that sexism isn’t a part of it, I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate that maybe they chose rugby players because football is entirely a game of kicking. And there’s kicking in rugby, but not basketball.

Hedda: Smells like a load of ripe pigshit to me, Shemp. There are two major sports in Neo-Lemmitania. Rugby, played by the lads. And basketball, played by the ladies. So now we’re entering a team in a major international sport for the first time. And which league is tapped for players?

Shemp: You’re asking me? Or is that rhetorical?

Hedda: It’s the rugby ‘boys’’ league.

Shemp: Yes, it is. Sexism? Or the fact that rugby and football are fairly related to one another?

Hedda: Sexism.

Shemp: Possibly. I won’t say you don’t have a reasonable argument, Hedda.

Hedda: Why no women on the team? Can’t women kick?

Shemp: I’m going to take a guess and say women can kick. And I completely agree with you that women are capable athletes.

Hedda: So, frankly, we should probably vote the People’s Socialist Leftist Party out of office. They’re keeping the women down.

Shemp: I had a feeling you were going to bring that up, Hedda. But we have a strict rule in Shemp’s Corner. Leave your politics at the door.

Hedda: I’m just saying. Give the Green People’s Lemming Party a chance.

Shemp: I’m prepared to cut this programme short right here, Hedda.

Hedda: Okay, no more politics.

Shemp: Okay. So, did you catch the second B.O.F. match?

Hedda: I did, Shemp.

Shemp: Thoughts?

Hedda: Wow, Shemp. That’s what I thought, watching the game. Wow.

Shemp: I tell you what impressed me. It turns out those Nouvel Ecosseans are actually truly human-walrus hybrids.

Hedda: That they are. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Shemp: If you travel the world enough, you see some disturbing stuff.

Hedda: Actually, I had a copy of Through the Looking Glass when I was a kid. You know that book, Shemp?

Shemp: By the foreign pedophile Lewis Carrol?

Hedda: That‘s the one. Anyway, there’s a poem in there--

Shemp: The Walrus and the Carpenter. Dan Lemzig brought that up on last week’s programme.

Hedda: Well, it’s freaking apropos. Because when I was a kid I had an edition of that book with illustrations of the walrus that looked exactly like the Nouvel Ecosse players.

Shemp: Kind of an anthropomorphic walrus deal.

Hedda: Or gynopomorphic, let’s not be unnecessarily sexist.

Shemp; Okay, I’ll go with that. Though to my untrained eye, it looked like the NE players were all male.

Hedda: Can you tell a male walrus from a female?

Shemp: In all honesty, no, I can’t. Anyway-- thoughts on the match?

Hedda: Well, the all-male Lemmings were shut out by the Rampant Walrus, as they call the NE side. I chalk it up to the Walruses’ size, Shemp.

Shemp;:They are big.

Hedda: They’re freaking big. Anybody who’s half walrus would be.

Shemp: The boys in orange had a definite speed advantage, but they just couldn’t get the ball past that massive goaltender.

Hedda: He’s a big one, as are their defenders. And midfielders, and strikers. And they know how to use their size to their advantage. So the best team won this one, I’d say. Bingson, who had two goals in the opener, was completely shut down. I mean, he ran rings around the NE defenders, and I wouldn’t have expected much from their strikers. But that huge McFadden simply powered if past Dubrowski and Flanders with a hell of a kick late in the first half to give the Walruses the lead at the break. And then midway through the second they got an insurance goal by Sanchez, and that was pretty much all she wrote. Our boys had a few shots - a couple by Mickleson, one by Rosco, I think Bingson got one - but we didn’t really have a chance.

Shemp: So, think the Lemmings would be improved by having women on the team?

Hedda: I don’t doubt it.

Shemp: Next up in the Baptism of Fire, the Lemmings face Colland, who are immediately ahead of us in the standings with a win and a draw. Any thoughts on the next game, Hedda?

Hedda: I know nothing about Colland. Is that a sort of strainer?

Shemp: I think that would be a collander. Speaking of which, it’s time for a quick message from the Electric Lemming Corporation.

Hedda: You knew it had to be.

by **Sangti** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:58 pm

DOMINATION
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

Marvick Sor (top) and Adrian Magcaleng (bottom) celebrating Sangti's first goal

Sangti 3 (Magcaleng 8', Sor 46', 76'), Piddlehinton 0
Baptism of Fire 52 Preliminary Stage
Stadion "Lumar Beqiri", Mi'ato, Kinitaria

Sangtian fans will be relieved when the final whistle was heard in Stadion "Lunar Beqiri" in Mi'ato in Kinitaria after the Agilang Dilaw performed well and dominated procedures, beating Piddlehinton, 3-0. Marvick Sor was the man of the match with 2 goals and an assist to put the Piddlehinton defense into the sword.

Lineups

SANGTI
1 Navarette ©
2 Bautista
3 Pablo
4 Docdoc (Ang 89'')
12 Lampa
6 Calayag
7 Sor
18 Khan
11 Sanchez (Regencia 66')
10 Magcaleng
22 Garaza (Utanes 83')

Sangti started their onslaught at the fifth minute with Janrold Garaza having a great chance, only for the keeper to parry it. The floodgates were forced open though by Adrian Magcaleng. The Real Tadofal forward drove a left-footed volley at the inside of the box from a cheeky pass by Marvick Sor, enough for the ball to go beyond the keeper, 1-0.

Sangti continued its domination with chance after chance, after Piddlehinton turn up the attacking style, only for the Sangtians to effectively counter their attacks. Sor orchestrated the Agilang Dilaw midfield and never lost the ball to the opponents the entire first half, 1-0.

The second half was the more of the same. In the opening play, the Piddlehinton defender fouled Erick Khan, on his first international cap - outside the box. Marvick Sor took the direct freekick and shot it past the keeper for 2-0. There was an injury to the Agilang DIlaw as Christiann Sanchez suffered what was suspected to be a torn calf muscle.

However, that did not stop Sangti from their domination of the match. Sor effectively ended the match at the 76th minute, a classic counter- attacking culminated into a one-on-one poacher shot that put the Piddlehinton keeper out of its misery.

---

At the press conference after the match, John Utanes and Bryan Calayag announced their international retirements at the end of World Cup 65. The players told the press that they will hand their responsibilities to the younger guns as they hope for Sangtian football to develop to the point that the nation can qualify for the World Cup finals.

Also, the official medical report shows that Christann Sanchez may miss the World Cup after confirmation that he had a torn calf muscle. Magcaleng's teammate at Real Tadofal, Sanchez was handed his first cap at the Sangti Invitationals that they won and is expected to be out for at least until the eight game of the WC65 qualifying stages.

by **Neu Engollon** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:02 pm

"Hello Neu Engollon! Magda Wertauer with ya here on NETV Sports 7 Update, with my co-anchor..."

"Heya! Karl Demais, how are ya sports fans?"

"The Goats do it again, this time a little more modestly, but still not letting the opponent get a goal. Here's some of the footage at Stadion Munisipaliya. Neu Engollon knocking in 2 goals in the Sondsteadish net. Karl, what was your view of the footballers of Sondstead?"

"Well, Magda, they seemed a little lackluster. Now, I don't know if that was because they psyched themselves out, or because of all the controversy."

"Right, they went in without Nagy and Hwitrländer, two of their star players, and, well...I think that might have really hit them hard."

"Szelim Nagy was benched for the game because of some bigoted comments made online earlier. Unlike, Hwitrländer, who was out with the ankle..."

"Yes, but even so, had those two been in, Karl, I don't think that was all of it. Our boys really gave it their best and deserve their due props for staying solid. "

"Oh, absolutely, Magda, I wouldn't argue. Ultimately, I would like to think it wouldn't have made a difference if Nagy was in or not, maybe a little harder, but they fought off two attempts on goal by Markussunr and Rummo that was just as fierce as anything I think we'd see by Nagy and they rallied."

"Yeah, they still brought it. Besides Siebech and Brenz's goals, you had Hummelmann make a strong showing off the bench."

"He bounced back from giving up the free kick, Siebech did."

"Yes, he did. Now, two solid wins for the Goats, but somehow, they've dropped in rank to number eight. I don't understand this whole Casaran ranking, Karl."

"Well, there were quite a few that had more dominating matches than us, it's a point margin thing I think. Anyway, our Astyrian neighbors rose, Nouvel Ecosse. Speaking of..."

"Accorzu, they face them next. Quite a match that will have a lot of Astyria watching. Two strong teams. It's almost sad really, we would hope that they would be able to knock out a few other opponents each, before having to face each other so early on."

"It's like brother against brother."

"Exactly, but you know, we're all still firmly in the Goats' corner. Ecossian or Sondsteader, they all have to fall to the Goat wrath!"

"Ha! You got it, Magda! Goat Power! So, time to go to WC Hockey?"

"Right you are, Karl, on to the hockey scores and review, then roller derby..."

by **The Greater Archipelago** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:01 am

ABO Sports

The Lowdown

Another win! The Greater Archipelago seem unstoppable at the moment, but I think it's safe to say we shouldn't get carried away with our success. Here's a match report on the game between The Greater Archipelago and The Fair Republic.

The Greater Archipelago 3-0 The Fair Republic

                                            Borla 10
                                          Sampson 46
                                           Rogers 84

The Stadion Republicana in Serenberg was building an unbelievable atmosphere. To accomodate the vast numbers of Archipelagoan fans the two biggest stands had been given to their fans. Not so good if you were one of the people right at the back, however. As the teams entered the stadium the crowd exploded with anticipation.

The Fair Republic kicked off, but instantly it was clear the Archipelago was out there to win. They pressed the ball hard. Meanwhile, The Fair Republic was being pushed hard to try and attack. In the 7th minute they gave away the ball and The Greater Archipelago was able to construct a well-worked attack. In the 10th minute, after 3 minutes of monopolisation of the ball by the Archipelagoan team, Sampson lifted a ball into the box. Fold struck it on the volley. It beat the keeper, but it was also going wide. But Borla wasn't going to let a good chance go to waste. He charged in at the far post and stuck in the back of the net. 1-0 to The Greater Archipelago. For the rest of the first half, the Archipelago exerted constant pressure, but couldn't get a second goal. In the 39th minute they won a corner. The box might as well have been a rugby scrum there was so much pushing. Somehow Borla found space and stuck it in the back of the net. However, it was disallowed. Replays revealed why it had been disallowed, Borla having clearly pushed his marker. At half-time it was 1-0.

The Greater Archipelago got the second half underway. They went on the attack right from the word go. The Fair Republic immediately gave away a free kick. It was well within the range of Michael Sampson who duely stepped up to take it. He struck it beautifully and it flew, well out of the reach of the keeper, straight into the back of the net. 2-0 to the Archipelago. The captain leading from the front. In the 62nd minute, with Fold having tired out, playing in a very tiring role, the Archipelago made a substitution. Fold for Rogers. Rogers immediately looked to inject his pace into the play. Good link up play between him and Miles Ray opened a gap up for Borla, but Borla went just a little bit too early and was called offside. Even he knew he was offside. Now off came a tired Roger Cohen and Oliver Harrison came on. This immediately looked dangerous. Harrison's impressive speed and trickery meant he easily had the beating of The Fair Republic's left-back. With ten minutes left, off came Delley to be replaced by McNaughtey. A McNaughtey run down the left flank, in the 84th minute, caused problems. He unleashed a cross. No-one could get on the end of it, but Harrison collected it on the other side. He crossed it in. Borla couldn't meet it, but Rogers connected with a diving header and made it 3-0. 10 minutes later, the referee blew for full-time. 3-0 the The Greater Archipelago.

Player ratings:

David Harris - 7
Matt Bentley - 8
Jack Connell - 7
Luke O'Leary - 8
Simon Delley - 7
Richard Peel - 9
Michael Sampson - 10 (Captain) (Man of the Match)
Roger Cohen - 7
Miles Ray - 8
Robert Fold - 8
Harry Borla - 8
Matthew McNaughtey - 7
Oliver Harrison - 8
Alex Rogers - 9

Gareth James gave me his views after the match:

GJ: More of the same, please boys! Our discipline was much improved. Borla is scoring goals as we would hope. Sampson was spectacular today. Good in defense, dangerous going forwards and a goal was the least that he deserved. Alex Rogers will now be putting pressure on Robert Fold after that performance. Fold was good, but Rogers was very good. Our next opponents will be a real challenge, but after that I think we can win.

Starting formation: 4-2-3-1

Finishing formation: 4-2-3-1

No change in the standings for us. Still 9th. Crucially only 11 teams have won both games so far and The Greater Archipelago is one of them. However, that number will definitely be reduced by one tomorrow, in Legalese, when The Greater Archipelago faces another won of these prestigious eleven; the German-Spanish Empire. They are comfortably the strongest opposition we will have faced so far. It should be a good game. You can watch that on ABO Sports 1, ABO Sports 1 HD and ABO Sports 3D. Where will be another episode of The Lowdown tomorrow on ABO Sports 2 and ABO Sports 1 HD and that will be live from Leaglese. So Kinitaria we bid you farewell, hopefully just for now.

And I bid you farewell as well viewers,

James Reid

by **Luzvimindia** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:36 am

THE SPORTS LOUNGE

(Before we begin this update, here are the pictures I managed to take during the opening match. I would like to sincerely apologize to all our readers but I had problems with the resolution and had to convert it to a better format before I could post it)

Tirdasaor team after scoring a goal at the 39th minute

Emilio Vinson after scoring at the 78th minute

Eagles swoop down and take huge 2-0 win over Aels
by: Lorenzo Lozano - 6:11 pm June 7, 2013 (Luzvimindia Time); 10:11 am June 7, 2013 (UTC)

With over 2,000 Luzvimindians, along with 57,000 others, watching the game live at the Stadion Orašii in Mi'ato City, Kinitaria and millions more watching back at home, the Luzvimindia Eagles put on, not just a good show, but an awe-inspiring performance as they beat the Aels National Soccer Team, 2-0, becoming the first international win in any sport by any Luzvimindian National Team.

Prior to the match, the Eagles had a short training session in order to fix some holes in the 4-3-2-1 and 4-5-1 formations that Coach PJ as well as the rest of the coaching staff have been trying hard to practice with the team in the past few days. The near-loss in the previous game has Coach PJ on edge and he sternly told the team that he does not want anything like that to happen again. Before they went out on the field, Coach PJ gave his usual words to the team, that they have all learned quite a lot in just one game and that he is proud with the improvement of the team in terms of teamwork, camaraderie and communication. He hopes that they will put up a bit more effort in this second game. Again, a short prayer was presided over by the general manager of the national team and president of the Luzvimindian Football Association, Renato Delos Santos, and by 8:30 pm, the players were on the field. The national anthem of Kinitaria was played first followed by that of Aels then Luzvimindia. At exactly 9 pm, the match began.

The opening minutes saw the Aels team put up a strong offense nearly scoring three goals if not for the efforts of our goalkeeper Gabriel Trillañes. However, in the 32nd minute, coming from a huge steal by center-back Angeles Quijano, and a pass from forward Rommel Lim, center-midfielder Mateo Garredo scores a header goal giving the Eagles a 1-0 lead and a huge boost to team morale. Aels tries to answer with a near goal by 29-year old forward Bryn Thomas but fails.

Eagles cheer Mateo Garredo after scoring a goal at the 32nd minute

In the second half, the Luzvimindian offense and defense go into overdrive, nearly scoring a goal with a header from Lim and a good kick from team captain and center midfielder, Julius Rizal. It was clearly seen that the Aels team started to get frustrated with the speed and movement of the Eagles' offense and they started to make careless mistakes. But the game wasn't over. Aels team captain and forward Elwyn Richard put up a very good offense, nearly scoring a header goal by jumping over the shorter Sherwin Vitug if not for the big catch by Trillañes. In the 70th minute, moderate rain started to fall over the stadium but the game continued on. A few minutes later, Aels bench-midfielder Marc Powell tripped Garredo at the 78th minute nearly injuring his right arm, forcing the referee to call tripping and showing the yellow card on Powell. The penalty given was a direct free kick for the Eagles and this kick made all the difference.

Garredo made the direct free kick and passed the ball to offensive midfielder Ronald Biag who dribbled it down the pitch helped by Rizal. While this was on-going Lim had found a hole to the left of the Aels defense moving to that spot, forcing the Aels defenders to adjust too much, opening the lane for Biag. However, unsuspectingly, instead of going straight for the goal, Biag passed it to offensive midfielder, Edwin Laurel who had a clear shot 20 feet from the Aels goal, leading to a score by Laurel pushing the Eagles to a 2-0 lead over Aels at the 84th minute. At the ending moments of the match, Coach PJ used the 4-5-1 defensive formation, preventing any further attempts at the goal by Aels, giving the Eagles their first win in the Baptism of Fire.

In the post-game interview with Coach PJ, he said that the players gave it all they could and that they really deserved this win. He also added that it was a honor to play with the Aels National Team and wished them luck in their future games. When asked if the team had finally found the rhythm in their game, Coach PJ said that as of tonight, yes they did. He also pointed out the excellent performance from Garredo, Lim, Trillañes and all the defenders and thanked them for the spirit they showed throughout the game.

I also managed to interview Mateo Garredo, center-midfielder, who scored the first Luzvimindian goal in the match. He said that all his teammates really gave their best and that he couldn't have scored if not for his teammates. He also added that Julius Rizal and Gabriel Trillañes (team captain and vice team captain respectively) really led the team to this victory by showing good leadership and spirit throughout this game. He hopes that what the team showed today will still improve and be carried over to their next match. When I asked him about the trip done by Marc Powell, he replied that, in his opinion, it was not really an intentional trip since the field was wet and it was quite possible that Powell had landed in a wrong way, slipping and tripping him. According to him, his injury in the arm isn't serious, it was just bruised from the hard landing and will be able to play in tomorrow's match in Legalese.

Final recap of the score 2-0:

32' Garredo - nil
84' Laurel

The next match of the Eagles will be in the nation of Legalese tomorrow morning at 9 am Luzvimindia time and their opponents will the De La Fleur National Team who also defeated their opponents in the second match Arkolon, 1-3.

Once again, this is Lorenzo Lozano, reporting from Kinitaria, time for me to catch my flight to Legalese. 'Til my next update!

© National Television Broadcasting Network. June 7, 2013.

by **Qatarus** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:56 am

Victory for the Qatarian Team!!!

Qatarus 3 - 0 Phing Phong

Yesterday, Qatarus got its first international win, against Phing Phong, 3-0. Phing Phong had lost its previous match, too, thus placing among the last places of the Baptism of Fire for now. The match was played at 21:00, at the Stadion Nasiyonala in Kinitaria.

The first goal was marked in the 12^th minute by Zlatan Ibrahimovic, with outstanding accuracy. As the team from Phing Phong tried in vain to bring the score back in their favor, as the Qatarian goalkeeper, Bo$$ Kalu, defended two attempts at scoring. The game was stopped at the 33^rd minute, as Cristiano Ronaldo, the second Qatarian striker, fell and sustained a serious injury. It seems that Ronaldo will not be able to play in the Baptism of Fire. We hope that he will return healthy for the World Cup. Fernando Torres will be on the starting lineup from now on.

In the 39^th minute, midfielder Blens Matuidi succeeded in passing the players of Phing Phong, and scored, bringing the score to 2-0 at halftime. Celebrations started in Qatarus, as the match would surely win in its favor. The only goal that was scored in the second half was scored by Ibrahimovic, in the 87^th minute.

The match ended 3-0. Qatarus has been pitted against Penileanium, which is placed 31^st out of the 58 entrants for the Baptism of Fire. Qatarus has now placed 26^th place. Tomorrow, a live commentary will be on TVQatarus, our television channel, or on our website: http://www.tvqatarus.qt/MD3. See you then!

by **Free Republics** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:29 am

Sporting World

FFR 2, Brenecia 1
by: Nova Hellstrom

On the 2nd matchday of the Baptism of Fire, Rule Theriault's young FFR team faced Brenecia, a colony of New Sideburn, defending Baptism of Fire champions. In fact, Brenecia is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt by the nation of New Sideburn to win the Baptism of Fire yet again. They're not satisfied with winning the Baptism of Fire, the Esportivan championship and the Market Cup. They aren't satisfied with their nation being considered a rising power of international soccer. No, New Sideburn has to win another Baptism of Fire.

Yes, the players on Brenecia's roster do not have the same names as the players on New Sideburn's roster, but they are the same players. Come on, you aren't fooling anybody New Sideburn. You're just entering the same team that won the last Baptism of Fire under assumed names because you want to win another one. When the World Cup starts, expect a "suspicious" withdrawal from Brenecia because New Sideburn's players can't be in 2 places at the same time.

I do owe an apology to Mr. Rule Theriault. I went to have a chat with the Republican manager before yesterday's clash between the FFR and the defending BoF champions and he was very upset at some of the things I wrote yesterday. I don't like writing things that upset Mr. Theriault, but for some reason I can't help it. After a rather lengthy conversation, he convinced me that I was wrong to criticize him. However, he was unable to convince me that Brenecia was a "former" colony of New Sideburn. I know that "revolution" they staged was just a trick. They're one and the same as New Sideburn, no matter what anybody says and it wouldn't surprise me if they are too tired to compete in that upcoming Strongnesse Cup thing they're having with that island kingdom to the north of us that is still stuck in the Dark Ages.

The eagerly anticipated match between the FFR and New Sideburn, posing as their colony Brenecia, kicked off at Arena Damacii in Damaciu, Kinitaria, a 38 thousand seat stadium. The pitch is apparently located below ground level and the field is very compact, so it was extremely loud in the domed stadium. It didn't take long for Mr. Theriault's superior Republican side to score a goal. A few minutes into the match, Miroslav Bozek intercepted a pass from James MacBeth. Bozek booted it as hard as he could. Kyle Bolton ran forward and the ball landed at his feet. Bolton was all alone as he ran forward toward goal. Stephen Mansfield, if his real name isn't Asger Stubbs, was out of position as Bolton's shot went in easily. The match had hardly started and yet the FFR was already up on the defending BoF champions. As Bozek would tell me later, "I saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. That's all there was to that. Kyle's a great player and an even better captain."

"Brenecia" would have the better of possession in the first half, which is very rare for that team. Still, their attacks would mostly come to nothing. Again and again, the Republican defense took the ball away from New Sideburn's team right outside of the box, much to the chagrin of the fans, who seemed to be loudly supportive of Brenecia, although the Kinitarians in the crowd didn't seem to like either nation that much. Toward the end of the half, Jens Koch attempted to set up a goal scoring opportunity for Leo Cremonesi. Leo Musket intercepted the pass and the Sideburnese team counterattacked on the left wing. Miriam Spitfire, if that is her real name, set up Edmund Pike and Pike took a shot. Ausilio Mancini saved it, but ended up hitting it right to Ashleigh Twining. The attacking midfielder took her shot and put the ball into the back of the net. "Brenecia" had tied it up at 1. Personally, I was mixed by this event. I felt that I should be happy that a fellow woman had done well in a man's world, but I also wanted my country to win. That score would hold up until halftime.

During halftime, I ran into the girlfriends of several Republican players and we bought some alcohol. I have a very limited memory of the second half, so I'm not going to be able to tell you much about it, but it was fun to get drunk. Really, that it all that matters. Why do you need to know what happened in the match anyway?

I don't remember how the FFR scored the second goal, but I saw a highlights package of the game on local TV. In the 89th minute or so, Jens Koch set up Faredin Pozenel. Pozenel's shot was knocked out for a corner. Leonti Ulyanov's corner was headed out for another corner. Bernard Lukic chose to go short on his corner, passing to Pozenel. Pozenel crossed to Kyle Bolton. Bolton faked a shot and passed to Leonti Ulyanov. Mansfield fell for the fake and Ulyanov put it in for a goal. I talked to Mr. Theriault just before I started on this article and he told me, "I saw Saintland have great success last cycle using that play, so I had my team practice it. I didn't expect to see them pull it off in a game, but they had the perfect opportunity and apparently Brenecia didn't expect us to pull a page out of Saintland's book. Yes, we could have ripped off Audioslavia instead, but that tiny island proved in qualifying last time that they are on par with Audioslavia, Kinitaria and Krytenia. Why shouldn't we rip off the most successful newcomer in the last World Cup?" Indeed, that is a very shrewd move by Mr. Theriault's Republicans.

This marks the final Casaran round match that will be held in Kinitaria. The 3 remaining Casaran matches will be held in Legalese. Next up for the Republicans is Albaie. Albaie played De La Fleur and defeated Tirdarsaor by scoring the only goal of that match. Based on their performance so far, their defense must be difficult to score against, but other than that very little is known about them. Currently, the Republicans are 14th and Albaie is 15th in the Casaran standings. A victory tomorrow in Legalese could move Mr. Theriault's side significantly up the standings since the Casaran will be matching most of the higher-ranked teams against one another. You can see the match live on Freedom Sports 8, so check your local listings for the right channel number in your area.

Tomorrow's game will be held in Legalese. Legalese is another nation in the Atlantian Ocean region, which holds their own "AOCAF" championship. The most recent "AOCAF" champion was Pacitalia, which defeated World Cup 64 co-host Wight 5-3 AET. Recently, Audioslavia and Pacitalia have dominated the "AOCAF" tournament, as one of those nations has won the last 6. I don't know much about Legalese, although I found out on NSWiki that they won the Cup of Harmony a few years ago. Still, just from the name I know that I don't particularly like that nation. They must be the nation where the incomprehensible language of legalese that only lawyers understand was invented and is probably widely spoken. Although I have yet to set foot in Legalese, I'm not sure if I want to set foot in a country where everybody speaks legalese. I don't know how I'll be able to understand what anybody is saying. At least Mr. Theriault's Republicans are only guaranteed to be in Legalese for 3 days. I'd rather be around socialists than lawyers. At least I can understand the nonsense coming out of the mouths of the socialists, but these 2 nations have been elected as the hosts of the Baptism of Fire and there is nothing I can do about it except do my job and cover the events. While this job can be fun most of the time, it can also be very irritating, especially when some foreigner claims that I'm reporting something inaccurately about their nation. You misogynistic foreigners can insult my reporting all you want and call me inaccurate all you want, but I'm a strong independent woman and I'm proud of my journalism.

Nova Hellstrom is an young sports journalist, just out of journalism school. She got her start covering high school soccer for the Petrograd Times. At one time, she played girls soccer for Petrograd Christian School. She was recently discovered by Sporting World and was previously assigned to cover the 27th Di Bradini Cup. By request of Rule Theriault, she will be recapping FFR matches from the Baptism of Fire

by **Chiata** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:34 am

Press Conference:

Press: "Coach Fillmont, what do you think about your next aponent?"

Coach Fillmont: "I think their gunna be pretty tuff. Their ranked number 21, that's 16 ranks ahead of us. In a sence, their alot like us. They have a very strong defence, only giving up 1 goal this entire tourniment. We have actualy done worse than them by giving up 2 goals."

Press: "Do you think that the Suns have any chance?"

Coach Fillmont: "Well, you always have a chance of winning. Even against the team that's number 1. In this case, their number 21. If you look at our records, their exactly the same. We both have won a game and we have both lost a game. Also, the games have been low scoring games, which is in our comfort zone."

Press: "Do you think the Suns have a greater chance of winning?"

Coach Fillmont: "I think this matchup is pretty equal, although they are ranked number 21. But we have the momentum of coming of of a win while they just lost a game. Putting all those factors together, I think it's dead even."

Coach Fillmont: "Thankyou, that is all."

by **The Greater Archipelago** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:48 am

ABOSports.com

All the stories! All the rumours!

The BoF Blog
By James Reid
Posted 07/06/2013

We won again! 3-0 this time. We may even win this entire thing. Although we may be getting carried away. The fact is the game was good, especially for Archipelagoan fans, and we won well. The result leaves us 9th in the standings although I worked out that we should actually be 6th as our goal difference is better than three of the teams above us. The Casaran system is, while extremely exciting, a little confusing.

Now I'm posting this from Legalese for the first time as we have left Kinitaria. I'm more than a little sad. Kinitaria took the competition to their hearts, as might be expected of former winners of the competition. I really enjoyed my time there. The match in Serenberg last night was good. Stadion Republicana was very high and the, how do I put this, lop-sidedness of it was more than a little entertaining. It also generated an incredible atmosphere. Although, I do feel sorry for all those fans at the very top. It must have felt like the pitch was miles away. Tweet me at @jamesreidtga with #topofrepublicana for my condolences. And a full report on what the match actually was like.

Next up German-Spanish Empire. Tougher opposition than any previous team, but I feel we can win again. They are one of the teams that shouldn't be above us as we have a better goal difference, but are. Nevermind. But good news. They have announced there squad and so I don know the names of their players. That could prove important. And of course you know what channels you can watch that match on and if you can't remember it's ABO Sports 1, ABO Sports 1 HD and ABO Sports 3D. Now match commentary. It was actor Josh MacLean last time. This week it's pop star Sammy Kay. He's an Oro District fan.

That's all for now, so saying goodbye from Legalese,

James Reid

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An interview with: Harry Borla
By Andy Blagg
Posted 07/06/2013

What a start to the BoF you have made. Two goals in two games. Are you surprised?
A little. I had my hopes about how well I would do. But two goals in two games is a surprise.

In the first match you had a goal, it now appears, falsely disallowed. Are you annoyed about that?
Well, of course at the time I was very frustrated. I thought I was onside. I was even more annoyed after the big screen revealed I was right, but in a big competition like this you've got to move on from these things. I'm not too concerned with it anymore.

And then there were two disallowed goals against The Fair Republic. What's your view on them?
The first one was fair. I did push the defender. To be honest I don't know what part of me thought I'd get away with that. It was a clear push. I personally think I should have been booked for that. The second one, I knew I'd wandered offside, but I just had to hope the linesmen hadn't noticed. I was mainly annoyed with that for two reasons. I'd just chipped the keeper and it was a great goal. The second reason, well, it was a very late call, but it was correct.

And what's your view of Robert Fold's alleged move from Kaymaria to Tupaia Eagles, your club?
Well, I don't know if it's going to go ahead. If it doesn't then that's a shame, but it's not the end of the world. If it does then we'll be delighted to have him. Although it would mean the competition for the attacking midfielder role would be intense. And I'm good friends with it's current incumbent, Alex Rogers.

Thanks.
You're welcome. Anytime you want to interview me, I'll be willing.

by **Punum** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:25 am

Punum Win In Baptism Of Fire

Punum recorded their first victory of the Baptism of Fire after a 1-0 over Soviet New Ireland (SNI) yesterday, the game was dominated by Punum but poor finishing stopped them from getting more goals.

Punum had made 4 changes from the team that played Neo Lemmitanian. Punum kicked the game off and by the tenth minute had 80% of the possession, yet no shots. The first shot came in the 14th minute by Chris Lloyd, but his volley from 20 yards went flying over the bar. Minutes later Aaron McGuire got past all of the defenders with some amazing skills but he disappointed in the finish when he tried chipping over the top of the opposition goal keeper. After that Punum went into another quiet stage, going around twenty minutes without a shot on target. However, it would carry on no longer when Punum got a corner during stoppage time. Michael Dean took the corner from the right, he played over to the other side of the box to his brother, Henry, who volleyed it, it looked to be going wide until a defender got in the way, deflecting the ball into the top right of the goal, but amazingly, the SNI goalkeeper, pulled of an outstanding save, and pushed the ball over the top of the bar. Henry Dean took the following corner, he crossed it near the penalty spot, then after a bit of scrappy play the ball came out to Michael Dean whose shot went way wide of the post. At half time, it was still, somehow 0-0.

SNI kicked off the second half and instantly lost the ball after a poor pass which ended up being intercepted by Rodrick Dalton, he played a short ball back to Lenny Dotson who played a long pass to Aaron McGuire and on the edge of the box, he turned expertly round a defender but failed to convert a relatively simple one on one shot. In the last ten minutes, Punum had earned a corner, Henry Dean crossed it in, Norman Ismael jumped well over two metres to get his head on it, but the attempt rattled of the bar and back into play, the ball landed at the feet of Craig Hoffman, and on the half volley, hammered it way into the stands. Punum did eventually get the ball into the back of the net. With five minutes to go, Rick Curtis played a fabulous pass straight onto the foot of McGuire, who, on his first touch, lofted it beautifully over the head of the SNI keeper and into the goal, but, the linesman flag was up, the goal was disallowed. With minutes left Lenny Dotson received the ball deep into SNI's half, he then played it behind Rodrick Dalton, who executed a lovely back heel to Michael Dean, he then crossed it over the box to the feet of Chris Lloyd, who played a short through ball to Henry Dean, and he crossed it in perfectly for Aaron McGuire to perform an acrobatic bicycle kick into the top corner, this was possibly the best team goal of the tournament so far. Before the final whistle, a SNI attacker received the ball on the edge of Punum's box, he then belted at the top right of the goal, but captain Felix Briggs once again came to the side's rescue pulling of an outstanding save. The game finished, Punum one, Soviet New Ireland nil.

Now Punum are 38th in the rankings and in their next game play 19th placed Tasrailia. Manager Zackary Brown has announced he will keep the same team, for those who don't know that is;

GK: Felix Briggs
RB: Craig Hoffman
CB: Norman Ismael
CB: Rick Curtis
LB: Marcos Dane
CDM: Lenny Dotson
RM: Michael Dean
LM: Henry Dean
CAM: Rodrick Dalton
CAM: Chris Lloyd
ST: Aaron McGuire

SUBS

Bill Hanson
Albert Chandler
Clinton Conley
Matthew Jewell
Neil Long
Malcolm Guzman
Martin Hood

By Lee Mueller

by **Nouvel Ecosse** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:14 am

by **Nandezia** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:35 am

Nandezia Faces Felix in Third Match

The Canaries will have their work cut out for them against Felix for this upcoming matchday. Felix are currently the highest ranked team in the tournament, and haven't allowed a goal in the first two games of the Baptism of Fire. This will be a difficult test for the Tweeties, even though they've been on a scoring fest their past two games. It will be interesting to see how the offense of Nandezia and the defense of Felix work against each other, and which one comes out on top. NSN had a chance to speak with Dani Clemente, the manager of the Nandezian national team, and he had this to say"

"We're playing well above the standards I had for this team. At this point, I could expect us to be able to do anything. As a new team to the international stage, we aren't restricted by set norms; currently, we're making our own. We're playing top notch football, and I would expect to see more of the same against Felix. Yes, they are a decent side, but currently, we're unbeaten as well. We've got just as much of a chance of winning as they do, and with the heart of Nandezia at it all, I have a feeling that we could surprise a great many people."

Clemente is very reserved in his actions on the sidelines, staying as calm as possible. However, when Chevalier scored the winning goal in the last game, he seemed as excited as a teenage girl at a concert.

NSN also had the chance to talk to Desi Tono, the starting goalkeeper, and Felix Alban, the starting striker for the Canaries. When asked about how they were playing, they told us this:

Tono: "The forwards are playing absolutely fantastic. So far, they've scored four goals in both of their games, we may score four goals every game at this rate! But, it's up to me to keep the ball out of our own net, and I'm somewhat having trouble with that right now, but, I'm working hard to get better. There's always more you can learn even at my age."

Alban: "All of us forwards are working well together, making good passes, and making good runs. I feel the defense is doing well too. The only reason we've suffered goals is because we like to bring our defense forward often. We like to play attacking soccer, because that's what we like, and we know our fans like. That's Nandezian football."

Tono, 34, and Alban, 33, are the captain and vice-captain of the team, respectively.

We'll have to see if the attacking play of the Canaries can hold up against the defense of Felix in their upcoming game.

by **-Hampden-** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:56 am

MECHELEN WINS FIRST BoF MATCH
Kikwipeyi defeated by the Confederals 2-0 thanks to Van Wolferen & Smit

Damaciu, Kinitaria - Yesterday, the Confedeals finally obtained their first victory. The match took place on the evening, under the bright artificial lights of the Arena Damacii, a medium-size Kinitarian stadium against the team from Kikwipeyi. The experiences from training and the previous matches, including a larger focus on defending more appropriately and not losing stamina throughout the match seem to be working.

The rival team, originally from Kikwipeyi, Atlantian Oceania, a region renown for hosting some of the best leagues and football teams in the world seemed from time to time sloppy and uncoordinated. The inexperience of their coach and the lack of any mid-fielders played a large role on that. In fact, the Kikwipeyian team is almost entirely made of defences, who crowded the areas around the goal and reduced the versatility of their team as well as the visibility of their goalkeeper, "Second-in-Command" Aslan.

The game was won thanks to the good rapport between striker Jeroen van Wolferen and mid-fielder Hans Smit, who thanks to disputes between the players from Kikwipeyi and rapid passes to bypass the large number of defendants, allowed them to score twice. First on minute 19 in what seemed to be a long-shot, but the football was not stopped by Aslan and it was only stopped by the net. The second Confederal score came at minute 40, right before the end of the first half of the match.

The second half of the match was rather dull. As the Confederals decided to play on a more defensive, there were a few attempts by Kikwipeyi to even the result, or at least score, that were however repelled by the defence or by van de Laar. However, it seemed that at least in the defensive game, Kikwipeyi was able to organize itself better and repelled other attempts by the Confederals to score, being repelled by a wall of players.

The victory has allowed the Confederals to jump to the 12th position of the ranking, getting closer to passing to the next round, however nothing is fully assured yet as several matches are yet to be played and particularly as for the next matches, the Confederals depart Kinitaria for Legalese, the other Baptism of Fire co-host.

For the next match, the Confederals will face Hontaypyar, currently 11th on the classificatory table, that is, one position above Mechelen and so far, Hontaypyar has not been beaten. We are confident the Confederals will change that.

---

Kent u onze voetbalelftal?: Wico Brandwijk

By Sophie Rutte

On this second issue of "Kent u onze voetbalelftal?", we will get to meet Wico Brandwijk, 23 years old, player for VV Noordsdam, devote Zeecultist and bilingual in both Dutch and Texelic, something rather rare. Wico was born on the Texelic island of Vlieland and grew up in the countryside, amidst cattle and the yellow landscape of the Noordeilanden. Wico's speed and fitness is the result of physical exercise since little as a result of helping his father work the land. He admits that as a kid he hated that, he wanted to be like the Delft boys from the TV series, and wanted to meet "wild" city girls, he admits with a mischievous smile, of course this was later on, not as a kid, or that I suppose, maybe he was indeed an early one to lose his innocence.

The story of how Wico became the man he is now is quite curious. He says it was all thanks to an old family friend, that presented him to a friend, who happened to be a member of the directing board of the Noordsdam. Although Wico was more of a rugby person, he impressed this family friend's friend and got in the team.

It is clear that these rugby roots are there. Wilco is able to cut through defences extremely well, perhaps not with the brutal speed of rugby, but still rather rude for football player. Nevertheless, his stealth and ability to pass adversaries has made him one very valued player in the team, despite his youth, barely 23 years old, but Wico is still at his physical prime and he has many years to improve and become a possible future star for the team.

It is true that there have rumours about Wilco's sexuality, but he has either remained silent about it or he has asked that it doesn't matter. After all, and we agree with him, one's sexuality is not -or should not-be an issue to be a good player. In any case, who cares about the sexuality of this dashing young men? Personally, I care much more about his looks, and those don't disappoint. Check a recent issue of Men's Health, where he appears shirtless.

by **Kalusia** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:38 pm

Galêx Mobinôs walked into the dressing room. He spoke calm and soft, and there was little of the usual fire in his voice. ''I am, as expectable, disappointed. However, I don't want you to feel down. We were overwhelmed by the failed first match, and we didn't have the courage. These guys haven't gotten any good out their matches, they haven't done much good. We however played two solid matches, which through silly and preventable mistakes were lost. We don't need to prove ourselfs. The games we played speak for theirselves. We just need to score the goals, get the points and be done with it. I hope you are full focus tonight, and won't let this game go lost. If we don't win all matches starting now, there's little for us to do at this tournament. We must succeed.''

by **Aels** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:54 pm

OOC: Openly declaring to the hosts that I'm ignoring portions of Luzvimindia's RP as it references things which simply would not happen in football (at any level, let alone internationally), and are against the Laws of the Game (e.g. a player being subbed off re-entering the game). Also ignored the "match started at 9:19" bit; a 9 pm kickoff is a 9 pm kickoff. I don't see his RP as godmodding (as in the RP permissions) per se; I see it as not knowing the sport well enough so making an understandable mistake but not one I should be obliged to agree happened, which I believe to be fair. I've kept his goalscorers and the minutes the goals were scored in.

For the record, anyone else playing me in future is NOT to use random Internet-found pictures which may depict my team. In Luzvimindia's case, a photo was used with what was supposedly the Aelsh keeper on the floor. It's not nice etiquette to RP other people's players to be of a certain ethnicity (or have any other specific characteristic) without their permission. In this case, my goalkeeper is not southeast Asian (as the picture would suggest), and should not have been portrayed as such.

IC:

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Kinitaria

Aelsh suffer surprise defeat

Luzvimindia 2
Aels 0

NOW two games have come and gone for Aels in their Baptism of Fire campaign and the team are still yet to get off the mark in the goals department despite the front line being led by two of Aelsh football's biggest goalscoring exports.

Elwyn Richard and Bryn Thomas suffered another barren day in front of the opposition goal as the Luzvimindia back line held firm throughout the match in Mi’ato City. Their undoubted star of the night, goalkeeper Gabriel Trillañes, denied the front pair thrice in the opening half hour before the Aelsh 4-1-3-2 buckled against an effective counter-attack.

Words will no doubt have been said in the dressing room about the way the midfield and defence folded quicker than a pack of cards and were dropped faster than a sack of hot potatoes. The unlucky James McConnell could do little to stop a power header from Mateo Garredo to cap the break, and buoyed by their success the Eagles were soaring high above Aels. Thomas had an almost-immediate chance to level the scores but his tame shot from 14 yards trickled wide of the post.

What Sergyei Arefev could possibly have said to his men at half-time about the goal will remain behind closed doors after the manager failed to turn up for his regular post-match briefing, instead sending assistant Cameron Walsh in his place. Perhaps Arefev just wanted to return to the team hotel quickly and get out of the rain, which had started with 20 minutes left in the match but by full time had turned fairly heavy.

Unfortunately for the Mytanar his side's woes weren't over; Marc Powell went into the book with 12 minutes to go for what he later argued was an innocuous challenge but to the referee was something far more sinister. From the resultant free kick Aels saw their defence carved open once again; Edwin Laurel was all but offered a clear shot at goal from outside the area. McConnell perhaps could, or should, have done better but the ball found its way past him into the corner of the net and the game was up.

Richard later told me the mood in the camp was sombre, but said he'd experienced heartbreak before. "I'm the only one here who's been through a World Cup qualifying cycle and I've obviously suffered disappointment with Ancharmunn before. I'm the captain so I'm their father figure; I'll lift the lads and we'll move on to Legalese for our next challenge."

Match ratings: J McConnell 6.0, R Jones 6.0, O Griffiths 5.5, I Maddox 5.0, S Andrews 5.5, C O'Connor 6.0, R Evans (vc) 6.5, A Jones 7.0, G Evans 6.0, B Thomas 6.5, E Richard (c) 7.0; Subs: H-J Edwards 6.0 (for I Maddox), M Powell 6.5 (for R Evans), A Trevor 7.0 (for B Thomas)
Bookings: R Jones, M Powell
Goals: None

The 52nd Baptism of Fire Everything Thread

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