by A mean old man » Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:34 pm
by A mean old man » Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:34 pm
Bovine Emissions Reduction Act
Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Economically Crippling
Description:
The World Assembly,
RECOGNIZING the family bovidae and several of its members, especially the domestic dairy cow and beef cattle and stuff like that and making some official-sounding but really not all that great description of this family and its characteristics;
HEARING on the television that cows burp and fart a hell of a lot and produce shitloads of gases that cars and things give off too but probably not exactly the same but will still damage our atmosphere and deciding to bring this idea into the NationStates GA Forums with extreme confidence in the fact that everyone will agree with its terms, but ready to attack any opposition ruthlessly with poorly-worded flame-baiting messages in
ALL CAPS, BOLD, AND SIZE 300 TEXT;
REALLY SCARED that, after a hell of a lot of years, like a HELL of a lot of years, the copious amounts of greenhouse gases produced by cows and other critters of the like will virtually destroy our planet’s ozone layer and will open us up to be fried like burgers from McDonald’s by the sun’s radioactive rays, just minus the incredibly unhealthy but quite cheap oils, although I assume those would be added to the mixture considering they’re also on the planet and everything on the planet would be getting fried;
DEMANDING that the WA must now distribute fried chicken, burgers, and maybe a few sides of fries to all of its representatives because the previous clause made me hungry;
GETTING back on topic;
OH YEAH, AND DECIDING that the WA must give out a nice big pile of cash to all nations from its secret stash that it steals from non-WA nations (YES, WE KNOW IT’S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, YOU CAN STOP LYING TO EVERYONE) so that we can tell our scientists to design filters and chemical converters to hook up to cows butts to convert these deadly gases into something less… deadly;
FREAKING out because I bet a lot of these nations that are supposedly supporting agriculture and are farming these vile, dangerous, vile, vicious, vile creatures are probably involved in some sort of retaliation plot against the WA by NAZI EUROPE or Macedon (but Macedon actually seemed to take their condemnation in stride…) to get us all killed;
TAKING back what we said about putting things on cows’ asses to reduce emissions and just deciding to put all cows IN THE WORLD inside a massive rocket and send them to The Rejected Realms, which I don’t think is part of this planet;
NOW WONDERING if The Rejected Realms is actually on our planet and getting a little worried that maybe the cows will still wind up being with us;
NOTICING that this proposal is really long and deciding to cut it off here and successively carrying out every single thing listed in the previous proposal and requiring all WA Members to send 98% of their population to A mean old man and denying the fact that this is a run-on sentence.
The United Nations wrote:HIPPOS ARE BIG
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong
Proposed by: Architeuthis
Description: WHEREAS the participants of the NationStates forum, while quite noisy, do not accurately represent the vast majority of the NationStates players, and;
WHEREAS said vast majority of players unequivocably support the Freedom of Humor for all, and;
WHEREAS hippos are indeed quite large,
I hold this truth to be self-evident...
HIPPOS ARE BIG.
The United Nations wrote:HIPPOS ARE REALLY QUITE LARGE
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Businesses
Proposed by: The Orion Nebula
Description: PREAMBLE: The intent of the UN rules governing proposals is to insure that substantial issues are discussed. It is entirely just and proper that this should be so. Similarly, the intent of the Freedom of Humor Act, which recently passed the UN by an almost 4 to 1 margin, is to allow these issues to be discussed in an entertaining and amusing way. This too is entirely just and proper and will lead to a happier and more humane citizenry. The Whimsical Republic of the Orion Nebula is therefore proud to submit the following for consideration.
HIPPO AWARENESS DAY
WHEREAS, although Hippos are indeed quite large there exists some controversy as to whether they are the second or third largest land animal;
AND WHEREAS the Hippos are known to be distressed by the terrible way that mankind has treated the environment of the Earth;
AND WHEREAS Hippos are not only an endangered species but young Hippos are often mocked in junior high school for their ridiculous looking windbreakers, their large glasses and their round sneakers that resemble above-ground pools,
LET IT BE RESOLVED THAT each member nation of the United Nations declare the first Thursday following the Winter Solstice to be "Hippo Awareness Day".
AND LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED that each member nation shall create programs that, on this day, educate its populace to the plight of all endangered species, but mostly Hippos. These programs should also raise the environmental awareness of the citizenry and encourage conservation.
AND LET IT BE EVEN FURTHER RESOLVED that these programs should contain the information that HIPPOS ARE BIG to help them regain their rightful place as the Earth's second largest land animal. Also this could be best accomplished by encouraging people to visit the zoo to see Hippos in the flesh so they can understand just how big Hippos are. This would prevent hurt Hippo feelings when people, unfamiliar with the size of Hippos, say "Wow, Hippos are big!" as opposed to having a comfortable idea about the relative size of Hippos, which would cause them to say "Now, THAT is a big Hippo!" only in the presence of an overtly large representative of the species.
AND LET IT BE STILL FURTHER RESOLVED that the member nations of the UN are encouraged to broadcast a national telethon on Hippo Awareness Day to raise money for the establishment of national parks and wildlife sanctuaries.
ALSO hello.
The United Nations wrote:Weasel Stomping Day
by Bob Flibble's chef, Sven
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Mild
NOTICING a distinct lack of UN established holidays
FEELING it important to correct this appalling oversight
The UN hereby
DECLARES April 1st to be Weasel Stomping Day to be celebrated as follows
1) all celebrants are to wear viking helmets and boots suitable for stomping on weasels
2) a liberal coating of mayonnaise is to be spread on lawns
3) all celebrants must greet each other by saying "Howdy ho"
4) all celebrants must stomp on at least one live weasel
FURTHER DECLARES that no nation is to make celebration of this holiday manditory.
The United Nations wrote:Well if Max can have his holiday, I think its time for another holiday....
Thessadorian Ambassador Appreciation Day
a resolution ecouraging education and the arts
by Palentine UN Office
Category: Education and creativity
area of effect: Education
Proposed by: Palentine UN Office
Whereas for many years the Thessadorian Ambassador has brought great joy to some members of the UN.
Recognizing the unique perspective the Thessadorian Ambassador's..... ummmm...assets bring to the august Halls of the UN.
Understanding that there has been a small cry to "free the Thessadorians" from some UN members.
Recognizing that true beauty sometimes needs appreciated in times of international ugliness.
Hoping for more visits to this august body, by the Thessadorian Ambassador, this document sets forth May 1st as the Thessadorian Ambassador Appreciation Day.
Authored by the good but slightly unwholesome Sen. Sulla
Excelsior,
Sen. Horatio Sulla
Palentine UN office
NSwiki wrote:Inflatable Gandalf Act
A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Proposed By: Royston--Vasey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Description: The Government of Royston--Vasey has noted a rise in the number of road deaths in all nations in the past 10 years. This is due to the reckless driving of some people who do not stop at crossings. To encourage drivers to stop and so reduce road deaths, the Inflatable Gandalf Act would install 4 inflatable Gandalfs on all road crossings which shout "You shall not pass" at speeding vehicles which refuse to stop at crossings where pedestrians are waiting to cross. Where there are no road crossings, the act would provide the local residents with their very own Inflatable Gandalf to aid safe passage.
by Doujin » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:30 pm
A mean old man wrote:This is definitely not, by any means a sarcastic mocking of the beloved and wonderful proposal writers that draft and/or submit certain proposals that never seem to be accepted by the rest of the overwhelming majority of the WA, despite the proposals' noble, perfectly rational basis on issues that the world absolutely MUST worry about according to the writers' totally normal points of view...
-snip-
by A mean old man » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:15 pm
Doujin wrote:A mean old man wrote:This is definitely not, by any means a sarcastic mocking of the beloved and wonderful proposal writers that draft and/or submit certain proposals that never seem to be accepted by the rest of the overwhelming majority of the WA, despite the proposals' noble, perfectly rational basis on issues that the world absolutely MUST worry about according to the writers' totally normal points of view...
-snip-
Hey, this paragraph here sounds like your current proposal!
by Grays Harbor » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:21 pm
A mean old man wrote:This is definitely not, by any means a sarcastic mocking of the beloved and wonderful proposal writers that draft and/or submit certain proposals that never seem to be accepted by the rest of the overwhelming majority of the WA, despite the proposals' noble, perfectly rational basis on issues that the world absolutely MUST worry about according to the writers' totally normal points of view...
by Enn » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:33 pm
by Grays Harbor » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:43 pm
by Goobergunchia » Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:21 am
Enn wrote:Hippos are Really Quite Large
The United Nations wrote:HIPPOS ARE BIG
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong
Proposed by: Architeuthis
Description: WHEREAS the participants of the NationStates forum, while quite noisy, do not accurately represent the vast majority of the NationStates players, and;
WHEREAS said vast majority of players unequivocably support the Freedom of Humor for all, and;
WHEREAS hippos are indeed quite large,
I hold this truth to be self-evident...
HIPPOS ARE BIG.
The United Nations wrote:HIPPOS ARE REALLY QUITE LARGE
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Businesses
Proposed by: The Orion Nebula
Description: PREAMBLE: The intent of the UN rules governing proposals is to insure that substantial issues are discussed. It is entirely just and proper that this should be so. Similarly, the intent of the Freedom of Humor Act, which recently passed the UN by an almost 4 to 1 margin, is to allow these issues to be discussed in an entertaining and amusing way. This too is entirely just and proper and will lead to a happier and more humane citizenry. The Whimsical Republic of the Orion Nebula is therefore proud to submit the following for consideration.
HIPPO AWARENESS DAY
WHEREAS, although Hippos are indeed quite large there exists some controversy as to whether they are the second or third largest land animal;
AND WHEREAS the Hippos are known to be distressed by the terrible way that mankind has treated the environment of the Earth;
AND WHEREAS Hippos are not only an endangered species but young Hippos are often mocked in junior high school for their ridiculous looking windbreakers, their large glasses and their round sneakers that resemble above-ground pools,
LET IT BE RESOLVED THAT each member nation of the United Nations declare the first Thursday following the Winter Solstice to be "Hippo Awareness Day".
AND LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED that each member nation shall create programs that, on this day, educate its populace to the plight of all endangered species, but mostly Hippos. These programs should also raise the environmental awareness of the citizenry and encourage conservation.
AND LET IT BE EVEN FURTHER RESOLVED that these programs should contain the information that HIPPOS ARE BIG to help them regain their rightful place as the Earth's second largest land animal. Also this could be best accomplished by encouraging people to visit the zoo to see Hippos in the flesh so they can understand just how big Hippos are. This would prevent hurt Hippo feelings when people, unfamiliar with the size of Hippos, say "Wow, Hippos are big!" as opposed to having a comfortable idea about the relative size of Hippos, which would cause them to say "Now, THAT is a big Hippo!" only in the presence of an overtly large representative of the species.
AND LET IT BE STILL FURTHER RESOLVED that the member nations of the UN are encouraged to broadcast a national telethon on Hippo Awareness Day to raise money for the establishment of national parks and wildlife sanctuaries.
ALSO hello.
by Charlotte Ryberg » Sat Dec 05, 2009 5:32 am
by Flibbleites » Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:09 pm
by Omigodtheykilledkenny » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:02 pm
by Kryozerkia » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:09 pm
Flibbleites wrote:If we're nominating UN era ones I've got to mention my old Weasel Stomping Day proposal.
by Charlotte Ryberg » Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:03 pm
by Bergnovinaia » Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:39 pm
Charlotte Ryberg wrote:Apart from active resolutions that have gone through a lot of drama, the Inflatable Gandalf Act comes into mind.
OOC: In terms of active resolutions, GA#51, written by me, was voted on as the world mourned the death of Michael Jackson.
by Charlotte Ryberg » Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:00 am
by Bergnovinaia » Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:41 am
Charlotte Ryberg wrote:Actually, every passed resolution has had a great story to look back on.
by Unibotian WASC Mission » Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:31 pm
by Omigodtheykilledkenny » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:00 pm
by Charlotte Ryberg » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:34 am
Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:Well, if we're getting into the greatest debates/brawls of all time, you can't go without mentioning UN Fair Wage Convention. There were others too -- Glog's repeal, the whaling repeal, the Dictionary Wars and the giant squid cyborg incident during Sapient Rights -- but UNFWC pretty much set the standard for high-flying hilarity!
by The Most Glorious Hack » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:52 am
by A mean old man » Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:25 pm
The Most Glorious Hack wrote:Inflatable Gandalfs Act. Totally.
However, Commend That Place Over There was so awesome that it transcended the WA/SC split. As it is indeed over there.
by Mad Sheep Railgun » Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:28 pm
A mean old man wrote:Can someone link me to the Inflatable Gandalfs Act?
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