[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

[Ko-oren]

World Cup 64, Second Playoff

"Can the Dragonflies hold on to the 1-0 lead and qualify for their - our - first ever World Cup? Stay with us for the second half of Mytannion - Ko-oren after the break."

(A man holding several 3.5 inch floppy disks appears on the screen) Will your company do business on our mainframes? We've got you covered! All the Megabytes of RAM you'll ever need here delivered straight from Eaglebury - it's Jarongi Datatech!

(National team star Palnatoki Idrasil comes on in a slightly too flashy outfit with words flying across the screen) "Fly Greenjay! To all your Wight and New Montreal States destinations - will we see you there this summer?"

"Welcome back, and some strange news has reached us during the break. It turns out that Lodur Nidog has had a freak accident on his way from the dressing room, so head coach Rilasthaunden is forced to make this first substitution right now. It's Nidog off, and the young Katanmak Juliasterinthen on. The twenty-year old, as most will know, is familiar with his position next to Sobek Dehenat in defence, and will look up to his captain. It's the worst possible timing as the mighty Dragonflies try to hold off a strong Mytannion team, with a very inexperienced defender on. Still - Juliasterinthen, you can't hear us, but make us proud!"

---

"... it's unbelievable! The Dragonflies have done it - we're going to our first World Cup! Mytannion launches attack after attack, but a fully dug in Ko-oren team survives 1-0 - we're finally, finally going to the main event! On the sidelines, it's Zhituka Maugengethen with our victorious captain. Zhituka?"

"Sobek - what a game! Is this the best we've seen the team play so far?"

"Hah, it's not our best match but it's the best result we've ever had. And that's all that counts! We're actually going! A small scare at the break with Lodur's situation, and I'm told he's doing alright and should join us in the summer - we've really qualified!"

"How did you think the team adjusted?"

"So, so well. Fin and Susano covered us, Palnatoki knew what to do as well. And what a game by Katanmak! We've not had to use him during the qualifiers but he's stood up when needed."

"What a night to make your debut, for sure!"

"It's insane. There's a lot of talent here but Katanmak might get bigger than all of us..."

---

Katanmak Juliasterinthen's Retirement Ceremony, Post-World Cup 74

"What an incredible career, Katanmak, any regrets?"

"Maybe, if anything, that I didn't trip Lodur sooner..."

[North Cassadaigua]

Our team,
by Jessica Tolson, Manager

When I got the call to manage the North Cassadaigua team, it was a complete surprise. I was aware that the team was being assembled, and that they were going to sign up for the World Cup. With the various tournament games being held throughout the Northern Territory, there was a fair amount of anticipation about the team. For me, I scouted a couple games, but not for the purpose of the World Cup but to see if we would be interested in picking anyone up with Victoriaville South End. My scouting staff watched many more of the games, and gave me some hints about who the best players were, and some opinions about how they could probably perform in the Cassadaigua Soccer League. It was probably a surprise to me to get the call to manage the eventual side because I wasn’t really thinking about the possibility.

I have been the assistant manager under Brittany Byers with the Cassadagan national team on a handful of occasions, and have had my chances to manage junior teams. Those are chances that I am hoping to continue to receive, and I guess my first hope was that I would be able to go back and be an assistant there again. However, Team Cassadaigua opted to only go with Hannah Shanley as an assistant, as they did in World Cup 91. But then the call from CASE came, and I would get this incredible opportunity. They told me that they felt I had a good ability to get the most of players, and I appreciate that compliment, but I always feel that the players I manage are capable of doing exactly what they accomplish. That comes with preparation. Everyone at this level should be working hard, and everyone should be motivated to perform when they get out there on the field. Everyone should be willing to put in the hours that are needed with preparation, but you have to do that the right way, and for that, my scouting staff should get as much credit as I do. Still, I am grateful for the acknowledgment.

When I first put this team together, we knew the names and how they performed in the tournaments, but to hear their stories was incredible. I hope that some of them will provide blogs over the course of World Cup qualifying to tell those stories first hand. Through them, I really got a true feeling of what it was like to be in one’s home when Cassadagan troops arrived, and made them make a choice that would affect the rest of their lives. It was easier for some than it was for others, as you probably would have guessed, but everyone here chose to become a Cassadagan citizen, and were not forced too. I’ve also been able to hear what it was like to continue to live there after the annexation, and for some of them, the fear of The River Republic nearby. None of them think fondly of The River Republic, but these are not the people that The River Republic claims to be fighting for.

During the World Baseball Classic, there were a couple of nations that had some rumblings of a boycott of games involving us due to what happened in Gastineau. That would not really make sense, as all that would be done is protesting towards the type of people that were impacted negatively from what happened there. The people on this team were not initial Cassadgans. They did not have guns. In fact, I have one player who knew someone who was killed in Gastineau. I hope that they will talk about that more when they put a blog together. For now, I am not going to say who that is. These women and men just want to play a game that they are very good at, and so far, they are doing a very good job. We won our first three games, and yes, I know, none of them are against elite teams, but we still won the games and that is something to be proud of. Graintfjall ended our winning streak, and things will get harder from there. But no matter what happens, I am will be proud of what these people have been through just to get to this point.

[StrayaRoos]

Ulladulla-what will it look like?
3:30pm,August 1 2025

Following the Department of Home Affairs announcement,there has been speculation regarding what Ulladulla may look like,and Documents leaked earlier today,show that it's supposed to be a more planned city than the other cities in StrayaRoos,with neat,orderly streets in comparison to Pale's messy urban plan,An airport and ferry terminals are also in this plan,with a 35km train line also to be built in the next 10 years.
Last Updated:13:45:32,October 1 2025

[Graintfjall]

Eraman – 3 (1)
Grawira (39’), Hitam (60’), C. Kudung (75’)

Græntfjall – 4 (1)
Björnólfur; Sigurbergur, Grímúlfur (c), Asbjørn, Jan; Steinar (72’ Þrastar ), Valtter, Danny (90+1’) (90+1’), Arendt (59’ Kjárr ); Mímir (20’, 65’, 72’), Jason (41’) (78’ Röskvi )

---

Græntfjall – 3 (2)
Björnólfur; Alyssia, Grímúlfur, Asbjørn, Jasmijn (71’ Jan ); Johanna (c), Kæja (79’ Kjárr ), Danny (57’ Valtter ); Röskvi (7’) (57’ Vanessa ), Mímir (72’ Joel ), Emilia (44’, 89’)

North Cassadaigua – 0 (0)

The Exciting Adventures Of Totally Inept Set Piece Defending continued apace against Eraman, and very nearly put a sour note on Mímir Waltheofsson’s maiden hat-trick in blue-and-white. The Red League striker never featured in Igrene Cantor’s plans despite racking up goals for Wirr Tsi, but Thor appears to be an enthusiast – and on the basis of his appearances against Eraman (where he scored thrice) and North Cassadaigua (no goals, but two assists) that confidence is not misplaced. It took a Danny Oddkellsson screamer to save the three points against Eraman, and though he was booked for his celebration, it captured a moment of infectious delight that has seemed to characterize this team as they move into a confident new era. The home match proved a little straightforward: though North Cassadaigua entered with some decent scalps to their name and plenty of confidence, Röskvi Tyrfingsson turned in Mímir’s flick after seven minutes and Emilia Hrafnþórsdóttir, who failed to impress in her first chance in blue-and-white, looks determined to make a better fist of her second wind, scoring twice, once with a delightful stutter-step move to wrongfoot Tom Scholer, once with a considerably less delightful “accidentally bounced in off her arse” move that was, nonetheless, no less effective. Ahead of what could be the crucial game of the first half of qualifying, away to Audioslavia, injury doubts linger over Grímúlfur Gunnþórsson, Danny Oddkellsson, and Björnólfur Ernestisson, but Tinni is set to return from injury. And no, I still don’t know whose kneecap that was.

---

Last year, Græntfjaller intelligence identified Prince Hakim el-Masri as the mastermind of the el-Masri terrorist network responsible for the Steinaux terror attacks. Since then, the White Winter Queendom has demanded the Desert Emirate of Jabal Akhdar turn over el-Masri. Siddeeqi Ghaazi el-Masri, who has ruled Jabal Akhdar since deposing his father the Emir – and who is cousin to Prince Hakim – has refused to do so. Seeking vengeance, Prime Minister Kaija Michaelsdóttir put into force Operation Storm of the Light’s Bane to detain, by whatever means necessary Prince Hakim.

Operation Storm of the Light’s Bane component phases

1. Operation At The Fathomless Depths
   A task force comprising the Second Fleet of the Græntfjaller Navy, including the aircraft carrier RKS Egill Skallagrímsson, was dispatched into what Græntfjallers have called “international waters”, just outside Jabal Akhdar’s territorial waters. Their presence – in very close proximity to the ‘AO Isle’, and in the vicinity of the Vilitan Bay and the Commonwealth of Baker Park – has drawn strong protest from Atlantian Oceanian nations.
2. Operation Night’s Blood
   Following the official deadline to hand over Prince Hakim passing having met with open defiance, a special operations detachment of High Aptitude Military Specialist Tactical Expeditionary Rangers (HAMSTERS) was sent into Jabal Akhdar to begin unconventional and assymetric warfare targeting communications infrastructure. There are reports that some Atlantian Oceanian nations may have sent their own special operators into Jabal Akhdar in response.
3. Operation Unhallowed
   The Stormsveipur landing helicopter deck (LHD) amphibious assault ship, boasting a large complement of Qandran X-3 “third generation” drones, unmanned aerial vehicles capable of ship launch and landing, was sent into the Second Fleet, in the process defying the repeated demands of Atlantian Oceanian nations for the Græntfjaller fleet to withdraw.
4. Operation Where Dead Angels Lie
   Græntfjall has now issued a warning that any troops on the ground in Jabal Akhdar should be withdrawn.
5. TBD
6. TBD
7. TBD
8. TBD

[Nyowani Kitara]

Olaf Svante, the day after Nyowani Kitara's 3-1 home win over Quakmybush

The New Kitaran winger was at home. When in the country, he lived on a hamster farm in the small town of Aiznci. His family had grown up legitimate farmers- but, when he struck wealth playing football, they basically gave up their farm animals and retired to the city. The opposite of city dwellars retiring to the countryside, eh? But Svante had kept the farm- the family home had plenty of space for his true first love, hamsters.

He was the country's largest hamster farmer(and only??), owning north of 670 hamsters at any given time in Aiznci. Right now, he had an $125 NSD cigar in mouth(it pays to play in the World Cup!), and was walking around, observing his hamsters. He had, of course, his brother, who ran the farm during World Cup Qualifying, generally, because Svante was generally too busy with, well, the sport, to actually do the day-to-day on the farm.

"Olaf!" The winger's younger brother, named Johan, walked up to him and greeted him. "I'm glad to see you again. You had a nice assist, that cross to Odede Angonga was wicked. The farm seems to be running well."

"Yea, I'm glad it is." Olaf said. He looked around the room they were in- there was 40 hamsters in this room, all in seperate cages, all on wheels. He had hamsters in all sorts of different circumstances on this farm. He had rooms filled with cages. He had hamsters who lived together, in rooms without cages. He kept a third of the hamsters in a barn, which was the most difficult. They had to basically predator proof the barn- any hamster that escaped through a crack, or a hole, would basically be screwed, as with any farm, coyotes roamed nearby.

"You know, Johan?" Olaf started. "Do you think I should invite Gerald and the rest of their hamster crew out here?" He probably would've given Liang Wei a heart attack if the manager was there. "Maybe they can check it out? I guess those ones are sentient... But look, it would be hamster unity! And sport is support to unify, right?" Johan, not recognizing what an absolutely insane idea this one, simply nodded his head and agreed. Would Olaf get a once in a lifetime opportunity to show off his hamster farm to the #2 team in world football, the five time world cup champions?

---

Note: This government owned media source is the most biased media sources in the entire country, so read this media source, especially the other news section, with a critical eye. Foreign media observers would call it a KPWC propaganda outlet, a charge that they would most certainly deny. They routinely charge the Free Press with straight up fabrications, something the newspaper rigorously denies.

With President Akongo's electoral loss, their response has been to be more fanatically in support of the now former President. However, while more fanatical in the news section, they have integrated slightly less politics into their general sports coverage.

The Kitara People's Free Press
The voice for the working people of Nyowani Kitara

SPORTS BRIEF- Nyowani Kitara has hard-earned 3-1 home win over Quakmybush as World Cup Qualifying resumes

DEWAYO, NYOWANI KITARA- After NYK's bye on Matchday 3, following a historic 6-2 drubbing of The Holy Empire in the Dreamed Realm, the New Kitarans played host to Quakmybush on MD4. The game was controlled by Nyowani Kitara the entire way, as we won, quite comfortably, in front of our home fans by a score of 3-1. Wang Jiahui opened the scoring with a 21st minute bending free kick, and then Owino Odede had a brace on the day, scoring just on both sides of halftime- in the 42nd minute, and the 47th minute. Quakmybush made the scoreline more respectable with an 81st minute penalty, long after the game was no longer in doubt. "This was a fantastic match played by our boys, and we are playing with confidence right now." Said the Yue manager, Liang Wei. "Three points and a great performance are what you want, and our offense is looking good. WE can clean things up- but we are doing well right now."

After just 4 games, their Qualifying group is all sorts of chaotic. 4th seed Cordian Isles is in first place, one of 10 teams who have won 4 qualifiers through 4 matchdays. The Holy Empire sit bottom of the table, with just 3 points earned, and there's just general chaos everywhere. "Don't pay attention to what the table looks like this early in qualifying." Said the team's top striker, Odede Angonga. "What matters is how we are playing- are we sticking to the system, are we creating opportunities, and are we putting them away. There are 16 games left- the final table will be unrecognizebale to what it looks like now." But Catarina Malmquist had more comments.

"It shows that this group, truly, is wide open." Malmquist told reporters. "We came into qualifying favored to at least make the playoffs, but anything can happen on any given day. THis group is wide open- really, there are probably 6 or 7 countries in this group that could legitimately finish in the top 3. We could do the unthinkable- qualify for the World Cup directly, and win this group. But we could also finish behind quite a few other teams, and get a first class ticket to the Cup of Harmony. We're just taking things game by game right now."

Nyowani Kitara has a tough, two game match window coming up- traveling out to Atlantian Oceania for an incredibly tough game against Wreckeria, before coming back home to host the surprise early group leaders, the Cordian Isles. "These will be big games- even this early." The manager told reporters. "Points earned in the beginning of qualifying will set us up for important games later on. It's about performance, and if we can get a 3 or a 4 point window, we'll be in great shape."

POLITICAL BRIEF
- President Muhoozi Kulan(the capitalist bastard), has announced that Prime Minister Barnham will visit Dewayo for an official state visit by the Euran Prime Minister. Hopefully, our newly found President doesn't embarrass us TOO much- but beyond partisan politics, we have much to thank Eura for, rescuing us from what would have been a dark future where Malik Akongo stripped the state of its resources, as we would've functioned as an overseas promise of Banija. It is in the national interest that the visit goes well, and that bonds between Nyowani Kitara and Eura can be strengthened.

[Nephara]

East Murbley 0 - 4 Nephara
(4-4-2) 12 - Strand; 17 - Meadows, 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Scales, 3 - Lind (25 - Levering 76'); 7 - Anharbour (13 - Brewer 54'), 4 - Southsea, 15 - Sauber (11 - Swainsona 76'), 26 - Kvasina; 21 - Vetiver (24 - Reisinger 76'), 10 - Harper
Goals: Vetiver 12', Harper 39', Scales 43', Swainsona 90+2'

Nephara 5 - 1 Koronavia
(4-4-2) 1 - Provost; 17 - Meadows (2 - Schrader 72'), 18 - Copperhead, 6 - Scales, 3 - Lind; 7 - Anharbour (13 - Brewer 63'), 19 - Belltower, 15 - Sauber (8 - March 63'), 26 - Kvasina (11 - Loeher 63'); 21 - Vetiver, 10 - Harper (14 - Slazenger 80')
Goals: Sauber 6', Vetiver 28', Kvasina 51', Vetiver 79', Slazenger 85'

THE HERALD
PIKE LOOKS TOWARDS SECOND TERM, BUT MAY BE FORCED TO THE TABLE
Valeri Albrecht Political Correspondent

The Nationals paint it as a slide in confidence in the government; the Pro Dems paint it as a resurgence in the third parties. But either way, Alisander Pike looks likely to earn another three years as Nephara's Margrave.

While the traditional issues of a Pro Dem government have reared their head - factional infighting, individual scandals, occasionally flagrant corruption by state governments - Pike and his leadership group have proven adept at cracking heads together and getting the job done. And Pike's personal ratings remain sky-high. The Margrave is seen as credible, approachable, intelligent and a credit to the country on the international stage.

The Nationals remain optimistic of securing government. However, one MP confided, "Any and all hope lies with the minor parties. On the night, we're pretty sure we can take it, but a majority feels out of reach unless something serious happens. Still, a blue-yellow-orange coalition is viable, if the momentum stays with the right."

That appears to be a generous assessment, at least regarding the Liberal Alliance. After their honeymoon period, it appears as though enthusiasm on their neutral role has cooled, and they are working hard to repair their identity as independents given their broad pattern of favouring softer National positions.

The other part of this coalition would be the Wakes, who have made international headlines of late for their spirited assault on the long-standing 15-minute shower ban (and the related national ban on high-flow showerheads). However specific some of their policy positions are, their anti-red-tape manifesto is striking a chord with some voters, especially business owners, and they could slightly improve their position.

The three could form power relatively smoothly, sharing centre-to-centre-right beliefs and all being the most internationally minded parties. But between the Alliance's attempts to distance themselves from the Nationals and a recent stoush resulting from one Nationals backbencher accusing the Wakes of 'not being a serious party', it is a little too soon to say it would be smooth going.

Pike's lead is narrowing after his landslide victory,
but he remains in a strong position.

Nevertheless, Pike's path to power looks far easier. Not least, his Progressive Democrats look on course for a slim majority regardless. The main question is whether Moving Forward will be required to help prop them up or, perhaps, if Solidarity! could be called on.

The green party - the strongest defenders of the shower ban - are building momentum again after a damaging couple of decades. Castor Morgan, the youngest leader of any party, has struck an odd accord with the Wakes on the issue of investing heavily in renewable energy, and has taken the seemingly fruitful strategy of attacking Nephara's 'outdated' economy. Needless to say, the industrialists have rallied in opposition; they will be divisive, but their impact could be decisive.

Solidarity!'s base is slowly growing, but they remain deeply unpopular with most of the electorate, picking up few preference votes. Strategists from both major parties have confided that the Nationals' line - that the Pro Dems would be entirely willing to help Solidarity! prop them up - is a potent one, and while it's probably true, it thus far looks unnecessary. Still, charismatic leader Jasmine Farrier has attempted to soften their rhetoric, and they appear to be making an effort to break their ties with all-out communism.

Finally, the pariahs. Maxi Harker looks inexplicably likely to retain his seat into a third decade, while the Returners are saying the quiet part out loud a little more. Former leader Alexandru Garner was ousted for some rather colourful takes on Nafuna Akongo, but Xander Gartside's pledge to 'modernise' the party seems to just be talk. Both major parties have ruled out working with either.

All in all, however, these are good times for Nephara. The economy ticks along, Nyowani Kitara appears stable, relationships with other regional powers are mending - for the most part - and the nation even has an ironclad excuse to not provide an official take on the Pasargan succession, as Corvistone will never say any claim is legitimate.

Besides, as the old saying goes. If you think it's bad here, look east to Brenecia.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 20 - Toxothea Sebring (Crisisbless)
Defenders: 2 - Ophelia Schrader (AFC Treason), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Reniira Clevinger (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - Tosca Meadows (Brinemouth), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Ettard Mitteager (AFC Treason), 25 - Kyri Levering (Northern Union, BRE)
Midfielders: 4 - Cassander Southsea (Brinemouth), 7 - Kestrel Anharbour (Crisisbless), 8 - Renate March (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 11 - Arachne Loeher (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 13 - Madita Brewer (Northern Union, BRE), 15 - Tasha Sauber (Spartangrad, EUR), 16 - Isolde Reader (Myana, CMT), 19 - Sonya Belltower (Sabrefell Athletic), 23 - Kurtis Swainsona (Revolutionaries, EUR), 26 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 9 - Davor Kurtishi (AFC Corvistone), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Idina Slazenger (Tihon, CMT), 21 - Felixe Vetiver (1830 Cathair, AUD), 24 - Vasya Reisinger (West Cuono Rangers, TMB)

BYE
Nephara 2 - 0 Tjorl @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
East Murbley 0 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 1 Koronavia @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Xitizian States vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Reçueçn @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Kelssek vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Mertagne @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Saterun vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Pluvia SI @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Cassadaigua vs. Nephara
BYE
Tjorl vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. East Murbley @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Koronavia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Xitizian States @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Reçueçn vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Kelssek @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Mertagne vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Saterun @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Plusiva SI vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Cassadaigua @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

[Brookstation]

Time, yes our good old cruel friend. Time was perhaps everything that Billy Browne required once again. When it comes to football, Brookstation has always been a struggling team, always struggling to get wins yet at the very same time, there are instances when it seems as if the team is on a sprint to greatness. Three consecutive wins was all that was required. With a completely inexperienced side against Brookstation, Billy was pretty confident of a victory.

“Come on boys, we need a victory tonight”

“Come on coach, is that really your concern ? I mean you should rather bet on how many goals we are gonna score tonight.”

“I have told you several times Leon, that overconfidence is something you need to get rid of.”

“Whatever”

The match had kicked off on a good note for Brookstation. From the very beginning, Brookstation played with an experienced stature, ready to grab the final three points in front of them. The team had done a commendable job against the likes of Cardenao and Xanneria but none worthy of appreciation. It was safe to say that Atetancillo was probably the opponent Brookstation needed. Before the match against Juvencus, the team definitely needed some positivity and this was the perfect opportunity.

Surprisingly enough, the team still struggled on the field. Atetancillo, for a matter of fact had that home team advantage, something which might not seem to be much but it certainly is a factor that affects the game. The Brook team took quite some time to adapt to the field. The first half got as boring as it could. While the Brook attack tried to create opportunities here and there, Atetancillo wasn’t quiet either. The team did respond with a number of counter attacks which were thankfully saved by the defense. Nevertheless, Wague did score off a corner in the 41st minute, bringing some relief to the Brook crowd.

It was not a sight that Billy enjoyed though. He knew for instance that his efforts on the defense had paid off well enough and the way Harlow and Ali built up the line of defense was impressive. Following their lead, Angeles and Caceres also moved up in an attempt to disrupt the opponent’s coordination. But what actually concerned Billy was the attack. He couldn’t question the capabilities of Robes or Johnson, for both have been part of the team for a long time, having played all the World Cup Qualifiers for Brookstation, yet there was something that wasn’t working out on the field that day.

With 45 minutes on the line, the team assembled in the dressing room.
“Goddamit, what the fuck is wrong with me.”

“I, for my part, had warned you ahead of the match. Overconfidence will only kill you, nothing else.”

“Nothing is working out, nothing at all. I have been this close to scoring around eight times. I mean look at the bloody stats, we had 15 shots already but only 1 went in.”

“I think I know where you all went wrong. Antetancillo might be an inexperienced side but that shouldn’t be your concern at this point of time. One thing that all of you should keep in mind at this moment is no matter how big or small our opponent is, our main goal is to give our best. Be it Antetancillo or Chromatika, you are supposed to focus on your game rather than your opponents’."

Billy was right on his part. As soon as the second half kicked off, the team took on an entirely new approach to the game. Scoring a dozen of goals was not their target anymore, working as a team was. The only thing that differentiates between two teams is teamwork. Even the best team wouldn't be able to put up a strong fight if they lack teamwork. A 3-0 win was definitely appreciated but Billy knew that there was a huge scope for improvement. Following the match against Antetancillo, Brookstation would face few of their toughest opponents with the likes of Juvencus, Chromatika and obviously Ko-oren. It was time for Billy’s toughest training period and maybe with the correct guidance, a story of a team’s resurrection awaits us.

[Audioslavia]

Jeremy Jaffacake peered at the structure, squinting through the glare of the evening sun. Four enormous faces carved into a rock, each face as unrecognisable as the last. He looked down at his climbing boots, at his heavy duty cargo pants, at the harness around his waist, at the various carabiners and ropes fed through it. 'Well I'd best get started I suppose' he thought to himself, walking towards the base of the rock.

Up, Jeremy. Up.

In the venn diagram of 'things Jeremy figured he was an expert in' and 'things Jeremy is an actual expert in', climbing was firmly in the overlap. Lockpicking stood next to it. 'Being an arsehole' over the border to its right and 'literally everything' over the border to its left. He'd found lockpicking and climbing to be useful when occasionally dovetailing investigative journalism in with his sports and bullshit bread and butter. There was a time when those two skills would be all one needed to forge a successful career and reporting information people really didn't want you to report, but that was before computer use became widespread. Now every disreputable investigative journalist needed to add a third string to their bow, namely 'reading a password off a post-it note on the guy's monitor'

Up, Jeremy. Up.

Jeremy eyed the rock as he scrambled up the shale at the bottom. It was about a thousand metres high. The faces had been carved into the top 10% of it, the rest left alone. Rough and likely gravelly in places, meaning Jeremy would need to concentrate up every step up the cliff face. He wondered if he'd remembered to bring his climbing hammer, and was relieved to find it in his back left pocket. He wondered about his hooks as well, and found them clipped to his belt in a neat line. It was unusual for Jeremy to be quite this well organized. Reaching a wall, he grabbed it, hopped onto a small ledge, performed a quick calculation and then, after drawing a deep breath, sprung almost vertically upwards, kicking off what he always called a 'sticky-outy bit' and reaching out for two cracks in the wall with both hands. They both connected, his right hand having to readjust slightly as they were made to support his entire weight. Jeremy had rarely gotten over 65 kilos with his slender 5'7 frame, no matter what plans age and alcoholism contrived to make for him. He was glad for it for that split second before his left foot got purchase in another crack. From here, now almost ten metres up from where he'd started, there would be no more risks. A right toe took a small hole by his hip, his right hand left the crevice and vetted the slate above for something that it could dig into. Finding nothing, he reached a touch further up to grab a stick-outy bit, testing it for grip. Good enough. The left foot followed.

Up, Jeremy. Up.

Up. What was it that guy said to you?
Up. Give everyone a wave, Jeremy, we came all this way.
Up. You're gonna miss the Graintfjall match. Wake up.

Jeremy's phone buzzed. He took a step down in order to fish it out of his right pocket.
"15 MINUTES UNTIL KICKOFF" it said, along with two pictures. One an Audioslavian flame, the other one he hadn't seen before. He couldn't remember Graintfjall having changed their crest.
And what's more, hadn't qualifying match day four literally *just* finished? He had the last goal update on his phone, didn't he? A quick scroll with his thumb returned nothing - no sign of the notifications on his phone. Odd.

Rather than risk dropping it, he slid it back in his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief from the same pocket, dabbing at his brow. He looked up to see four stern jawlines above, and reached out for another hand-hold.

[Huayramarca]

Rating: A - Suitable for everybody.
Broadcaster: RTH - Radio y Televisión Huayramarquina.
Time: 1h - 20:00-21:00 every Sunday.

You might not know me, so let me present myself. I’m Santiago Campuzano, I’m a foodie and a lover of tourism, culture, and all things folk. This is my first time in National TV and now I’m a man on a mission! I want YOU to hop into this adventure traversing the entirety of this vast country called Huayramarca, land of the Pachamama, high af mountains, jungles, and exotic coasts to get lost! This trip will, for sure, be an interesting one. “¡Dame tu mano y ven conmigo! ¡Vámonos al viaje para buscar los sonidos mágicos de Huayramarca!

*Then, a 1-minute intro to the tune of Huayramarca by the band Illari popped up, showing footage of the cities of Guayaquil, the Huayramarcan Metropolitan District, Sechura, El Alto, Alto Hospicio, Puerto San Carlos among others*

Welcome again my friends! Welcome to the second episode of this adventure that is traversing Huayramarca. As we said, this time is an episode dedicated to the city of El Alto, a city with approximately 750,000 inhabitants from, pretty much, every possible corner of Huayramarca. It is, without doubt, a city with a significant diversity of culture, customs, and gastronomy, you’ll be able to find even combinations from different places of the Plurinational Republic represented here, it is part of the magic that this place has, diversity of the highest level in a place that many think it wouldn’t be inhabited due to the altitude of the city.

Let’s begin with a bit of history. The City of El Alto, officially known as the “Muy Noble y Leal Ciudad de El Alto”¹, due to its significant role in Huayramarcan history, is a city that was founded in 1895, being one of the youngest cities across the Huayramarcan Sierra and didn’t have significant population during its beginnings. This city was originally intended to be an expansion zone of the Huayramarcan Metropolitan District for luxurious houses of the Huayramarcan bourgeoisie, but plans changed and then the city was developed to be independent from the District.

From its foundation, the city enjoyed its own institutions, church, plaza, and political system to guarantee its status as a new city. Population was scarce due to the lack of access from the Metropolitan District to El Alto, henceforth, it had more connections with different cities in the high-altitude plateau nearby, mostly the municipalities and cities from the neighbouring region of Arequipa in the west. Migration wasn’t a factor until 1925, where people from said zone started to arrive to El Alto, their main purpose was to settle new industries and benefit from the fact that they were close to the Metropolitan District.

Despite being close, during that time, El Alto and the national capital seemed to be too close and too far at the same time, as the road to reach the latter was too perilous for Alteños² but that didn’t stopped people from creating interesting systems for the exchange of goods, people built ladders to reach El Alto and the Metropolitan District with more ease. After several accidents of people dying in the road or horses falling off when taking loads, the Government invested by creating a motorable road to El Alto, one that took 6 years to be completed, a road that continues to work under better conditions.

As the means of communication between both cities improved, people from across Huayramarca found in El Alto as the perfect chance to settle close to the capital, a cheap alternative for their housing needs, and a city with significant diaspora that would make them feel comfortable and soft up homesickness. As the time passed, people from the regions of Nauta, Cocoamarca and the Eastern Andes moved to El Alto, aside with a proportion of inhabitants from Guayas and Lima in the coast, turning this city into a desolated one into a diversity hotpot.

Moving now, we are heading to the Main Plaza of El Alto, the place where the magic of the city lives in. You can witness, basically, all the good things there, from food, vegetables, and culture in the place. Right in front of us, we see the small yet intriguing cathedral of El Alto, home of some interesting paintings inside of it. That’s why we met David Aymá, a priest of the cathedral to show us some of the most important things in the place.

“Faith is one of the most important elements of the daily life of Alteños, they are devoted to God in unique ways, that’s why many people have united themselves to buy some important paintings and minerals to make this cathedral into something different in Huayramarca. First, and foremost, is the Virgen del Carmen de El Alto³. The virgin has some decorations that makes her stand among the rest of virgins in Huayramarca. She has been built from precious minerals, including golden details, and manually confectioned clothing for her.”

“It took some time to make those important details, around two years to build the image and 6 more months for golden and silver details. Clothing too approximately 8 months, but it was made in parallel with the image, as the size of Her was already standardised, something that helped the process to be more efficient. The devotion of people towards the mission was significant, many Alteños offered themselves to help in the preparations, free of charge, as they were aware that they were building a piece of identity that would mark El Alto forever, a sign on how unified people in this town are. The expenditures made were completely financed by the goodwill of the people,” said the priest.

As we were moving, I asked, “What’s this material in the columns?” The Priest knocked off and then said, “Do you listen to this sound?” We nodded, and then he replied, “That’s the sound of marble, one you can’t confuse as it has a particular sound”. And indeed, there was a long echo-like sound when knocked, deep enough that made some people in the church to look back at us as they were intrigued to see the origin of that sound. The priest added “This wouldn’t have been possible if the will of God wouldn’t be on our side if he wouldn’t have touched the hearts of Alteños, to collaborate with the efforts to spread his voice in Huayramarca and the multiverse.

As we were leaving the church, one of the most particular traditions of El Alto was about to begin, we couldn’t let it go without filming or watching it due to the symbolic content of it. Phiskhuña⁴, an act of cleaning souls and erasing the sins one has committed during the last year, an act of forgiveness through “flagellation”. This tradition has softened through time, as now it is just hitting somebody with a small lash to clean out sins, not with spiked lashes as it was during the 1600s; this is one of the most famous festivities in Huayramarca, expected to gather up to 35,000 people through three days who are running to avoid getting hit until one “cleaner” hit you.

This part is only the beginning of the ritual as it really is, although it’s the most famous part of it. The rest of the tradition involves a folkloric dance of the cleaners, whose clothes try to resemble the devil, they dance around somebody who interprets Jesus, part of the Holy Trinity of Christianism, the official religion of Huayramarca. “Jesus” hold a bible and a cross to defeat every “devil” dancing around him, as a symbol of power over evil. The devils then faint, and victory is achieved, the sins are ”cleaned” and people enjoy a party in the Central Plaza of El Alto, a party that is centered on wine, as the main produce of said beverage is finished in early April.

As I’ve said, it is my turn to see if I can get some impressions of people and the evil-dressed folk to see their opinions about it. Marcos, a 16-year-old has some interesting thoughts about the tradition “I just like to wander around and smack as much people as possible. Cleansing? I don’t think it is real, though, as one should be more careful when it comes to what we do on our lives, so we avoid sins as much as possible; but I respect the traditions.” Reina, who attends the event every year, thinks that it is important to support the traditions of the Sierra folk, as it is the core of the Plurinational Republic.” When asked about the tradition and her beliefs, she said “I don’t really believe this as a cleansing method, still, I want to hang out and enjoy, to help people with some internal tourism.”

That is, indeed, a great attitude and something we want to promote to you, to do internal tourism into Huayramarca or encourage foreigners to visit this nation, explore the customs and the hidden gems that one can find in this nation. As we continued chatting with more people, we eventually found some others that they think this is a way to “clean” sins. Xavier, a 25-year-old says, “Through this kind of actions and faith, our sins will be eventually cleaned, and we will defeat evil!” Then we asked, “Who introduced you to this kind of events?” Then, he said, “My friends involved me in this, they asked me to play the role of Jesus 5 years ago, I did it for two years as I had to leave it due to university.”

As we notice here, traditions are important for Huayramarcans, no matter their age, people often use this kind of events to engage and have conversations, to interact and make new friends. There are several histories of people that have met their true love for their entire life, that’s the magnitude of this kind of events, which often serve as a mean of support for people in need. This year, the festivities in El Alto are benefitting a collective of charity houses, being the most important ones (due to the amount of people they have benefitted) The Charity of the Virgin of El Carmen and the Condor Foundation, both institutions provide integral support for their communities, and they are part of the benefited from receiving 50% of the earnings in the festivity.

In this year, the charity houses of El Alto are doing a gastronomic fest, they are selling different kinds of food that are common in El Alto for a rather symbolic price of $6 Intis, which are $2 NSD each. There’s a lot of varieties in the dishes, including some soft foods as the Ensalada Verbena⁵, a salad made with tuna or chicken, eggs, and, of course, lettuce and dressings. My stomach wanted something a bit stronger, despite having eaten a Pescado Sudado that same day with a Tren de la Noche pepper from Montaña Verde. One must take risks in life to live it the fullest.

After some time, I was able to find what I wanted, the representation of the mix that El Alto has to offer the Sajta de Pollo⁶ a recipe that has been modified to include some different ingredients from other regions of Huayramarca. Originally, this includes chicken, mashed potatoes, onions, and a bit of Ensalada Verbena, but this also includes menestra which is a mix of beans and rise from Guayaquil, then some peppers from the region of Nauta and yoghurt as a dressing for the Ensalada Verbena. If your appetite is big enough, then, this is the right food for you, if not, it can be easily shared between two people.

I have decided to eat it completely, which I took quite a long to do it. I had to start with the mashed potatoes and some peppers, then mixing with chicken for a long time, until I finished the chicken. Then, the menestras to finish it with the rest of the Ensalada Verbena. As I told you, the sajta is a dish that can cause you satiety or you can even vomit if you eat too much of it, that’s why you should eat it only if you have a good appetite for it. Then, the restaurant owner called me by my name and said, “You’ve been the only person to eat the sajta completely, Santiago, that’s why you’ve got this” and he gave me a plushie and a shirt with the message “I survived the sajta”. Which I used during the whole day as bragging rights for my appetite.

And that’s it, El Alto is, without doubt, a city with a strong vocation of devotion and help to those who need it, hence, earning the nickname of “City of Goodwill”, as people have the desire to unite themselves, the will to overcome obstacles and support those who need a helping hand. Through tempests and lack of development in the zone, they’ve united their voices and demanded the government to change their surroundings for good, connecting them with the capital, helping newcomers to the capital to settle through a tightly knit community that will not let anybody fall. El Alto, a city that will continue to be a melting pot of diversity from people across Huayramarca, with different recipes, characters but sharing the desire of helping those in need.

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1. Meaning “Loyal and Noble City of El Alto.” Huayramarcan cities are often called in such ways, ceremonially, mainly due to its participation in important moments of history, being as defenders of certain regions in wars, being the cradle of a revolution, having many honourable residents, etc.
2. Spanish demonym for residents of El Alto, roughly translatable to “Alteans”.
3. The Virgin is the Holy Patron of the city, her festivities are during the second and third week of July.
4. Means “cleansing” in the Aymara language.
5. A salad created by María Verbena, one of the most important chefs in Huayramarcan history.
6. Sajta means stew in the Aymara language.

[Saint Eleanor]

World Cup 92 - third matchday of qualification
the Independent Wreckerian Athletes 1 (Gary Bronson goal 76')
Saint Eleanor 0

OOC: Queb is fine with me mentioning the fact that some Quebecois soldiers fought on the Eleanorian side during the War of Independence.

---

Donald Lucas: "A bunch of people started agitating. Not in my workplace, though"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers talks to the president of Saint Eleanor's FA about the long, surprisingly straight - if bumpy - road to power
Originally published on Saturday 7th April 2001

It is all too easy to fall into the trap of assuming that Donald Lucas was born to be a pen-pusher, but he was forced into the role by a dodgy knee aged sixteen. "Saint Eleanor just did not have a football culture in 1956. There were games - and there were even organised senior teams that played each other - but most of the clubs you know today were not playing, never mind in a league. What I did instead, and I'm sure Bridget [Coombe] would be proud of me, was long-distance running: 2,000 [metres], 5,000, I did 10,000 once but nearly gave up multiple times towards the end. I was good at that - won more than a few awards - but what did for me was my attempt to sprint from one end of Bramblewood Community School to the other. I most likely overworked myself in that department in the years leading up to that event, but something wasn't quite right with my body, I was told by the doctor it was bang out of order, no more serious physical activity for a while, but in fact I just didn't feel like doing any more even after that. That cost forty dollars. It's free now. Could Steve Mitcham please tell his dad well done for that?"

After completing community school, Lucas chose to take up a secretarial role in a local business rather than attend the University, until 1968 Saint Eleanor's only institute of higher education. "Everybody thinks secretaries are ladies - a lot of them are, I will grant you, but I liked the rigour, the attention to detail, the letting people know about things, and all that other stuff. Of course, I politely asked somebody else to do all the running around! Also, the typewriters. We can't forget the typewriters." He was slowly, but surely, elevated to a managerial role eight years later. "That's the most obvious pattern: I normally stay in a job for about six to eight years, then I find a new one and repeat as necessary. Obviously, I was still behind the scenes, making forecasts, explaining what was going on, training staff in the essential bits of work, and so on. Did that make me a better person? Yes, it did, especially at that age - although I'd already gotten a lot of experience, it still didn't feel like a lot, so the early and steep learning curve definitely helped. At least there was still time to go home, change clothes, talk to my wife for a bit, have dinner and go to sleep afterwards. And then a bunch of people started agitating. Not in my workplace, though. I would never have allowed it."

Although the Eleanorian Army has never drafted or conscripted soldiers, not even for the War of Independence, Lucas played no part in it. "The recruitment office were perfectly understanding of my problems, although the fact a lot of Quebec people moved into the country to help us out in the war definitely helped my case." He continued his work at a now-defunct local weaponry manufacturer, one of many suppliers to Eleanorians both during the war and in the following years. "The Army immediately after independence barely cared as to where it got its guns, although they worked out after a while that common sense could only take you so far. Otherwise, private civilians: I don't think anybody in the country supports more gun control because people know they need the arms to protect the country from another invasion. They liked us... but not too much. I wasn't in sales, anyway: just writing up a few reports, helping out the managers, boring stuff like that. I call it boring; most of the people I know are orderly enough they'd thrive in any similar role anyway. And that includes the players!"

With business shrinking, Lucas moved to the FA in 1982, and was promoted to President five years later. "What have I done? A lot of things. You couldn't write a book about it because it would almost certainly be physically impossible to actually read it." Some people credit Lucas with being the driving force behind Saint Eleanor starting to enter the IFCF and World Cup in 1996. "Oh, no, that wasn't just my decision - a lot of people thought it would be worth their time challenging for international positions, playing against international teams, improving themselves, trying to become famous. All of that has certainly happened." Others claim that Lucas wanted to fire manager Priscilla Evans if she got less than four points at the 82nd Cup of Harmony, or even that he stopped her from selecting centreback Sam Newbridge for the tournament. "Those are both very silly suggestions. Our performances during the two defeats in the tournament were, in my opinion, spirited enough that she deserved to stay on for another cycle, so long as she proved herself - and she did. As for the press release claiming that Paul Ferry was such a 'strategically important' player he could not be dropped, it was issued without my permission; I would never interfere with the manager's roster choices."

With Hiyashi Celestia having just sealed progression to the Challengers' Cup group stages - a year after Athletic Saint Eleanor made the Champions' League groups - does Lucas think that money is endangering football, never mind foreign money? "First of all, Hiyashi Celestia is funded by Hiyashi (1993) Limited, a co-operative and limited liability company incorporated right here in Saint Eleanor. Why so many people haven't done their homework about this, I don't know. Newbanks United is just owned by the Squidroidian government, or whatever's left of it, but all the funding comes from here. Independence 1975 gets funds from White Star, Athletic from the small businesses - I could go on. What I do know is that the funds have overwhelmingly been used to support the development of the game, help players out and give fans a better experience. Wages are reasonable and, as far as I can tell, the transfer fees are more so."

After two wins in a row, including another win over Nyowani Kitara, the islanders appear to be slipping, having fallen to a late Gary Bronson goal to ensure that they - not the Independent Wreckerian Athletes - lost their early 100% record. "The Wreckerians are good - and I mean very good. You just cannot fault the players for the fact they didn't win: I watched it on TV1, everybody was performing very well - on both sides. Especially Gary Bronson: good goal but he might have taken the defence by surprise a bit, I'd be working on containing deep-lying players if I was Priscilla. We have games this month against the Cordian Isles and New South Yukon and I have every confidence the players will bounce back, carry on where they left off and all that." Does he think they will make another World Cup? "By a whisker. And we might just perform better than last time. I said might. Don't quote me on that - actually, you can, this is the interview."

Tinhampton's national team was often far too pessimistic about his abilities. Saint Eleanor's has had a tendency for being too bullish, perhaps even arrogant. But Donald Lucas, the man who keeps the FA together, appears to be largely realistic about his own abilities and that of the team - balance that is both much-needed and has helped the Eleanorian game remain even-handed throughout the strongest time in its history as much as it has its most turbulent era.

[The Cordian Isles]

The Cordasfjord Daily

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Football North Stars Stay Perfect!

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Saint Eleanor- Last night’s match was expected to be the biggest match we’ll have in WCQs this year. Saint Eleanor are the group’s third seed, meaning that early on, they will be the favorites to take third in the group, the last spot in the WCQ playoffs. As the fourth seed, beat them, and your chances of advancing to the playoffs are very good. With two matches against Saint Eleanor on the WCQ schedule and the first one in Saint Eleanor, the first match was going to set the tone for the second match, with huge implications for the rest of qualifiers.

And set the tone it did. We got to watch an incredible back and forth affair that lacked goals but certainly not chances. Despite being the underdog, our North Stars went toe to toe with the Eleanorians at every opportunity. The first half especially was something to behold. The match started off slow but picked up quickly, and in the 13th minute Lucia Verkerk, hungry for her second goal of WCQs, fired a shot just high from just inside the box to quiet some of the Eleanorian crowd - who, to their credit, filled the stadium to the brim and made it one of the noisiest we’ve seen. We’d like to say something along the lines of “both sides were absolute gentlemen and played cleanly throughout”, but of course that’s not true for the Cordians. Five minutes after Verkerk’s missed shot, Redvin Chase fouled Katie O’Donnell just outside the box (thank goodness), and the resulting free kick gave Kristin Bergstrin a hard time, but was ultimately saved to keep the match scoreless. In the 29th minute, it was O’Donnell again making life hard for the Cordians, showingly getting revenge on Chase by making his tackle miss, and embarrassingly so. Her shot was blocked by a sprinting Verkerk and the rebound cleared to keep things clean. The rest of the half continued in much the same fashion, both teams trading chances but some stellar defensive play keeping the score at nil-nil come the referee’s whistle.

The second half was simply a continuation of the first, though the Cordians had perhaps a better share of the chances. A dribble play by Anton Osteoporosis [autocorrect too funny to fix] in the 54th worked him into a low-angle shot that had John Bailey beat… until it banged off the crossbar, as a Cordian shot always seems to do. A few minutes later, Gunnvor Nieminen, picking up his first start in WCQs, took a pass from Sebastian Voll high in the box and launched a shot, only for Bailey to make a fairly routine save. But the Cordians did keep pressure up and the momentum was certainly in their favor. Then, in the 68th, Anton Osterholt put some bend on a shot around Sam Newbridge and it glanced off the hands of John Bailey. Voll picked up the rebound, and just like that it was a 1-0 lead for the Cordians, with the match and the group lead theirs to lose. They didn’t lose it. Despite a strong Eleanorian effort out of desperation, a solid performance from the Cordian back line held the opposition scoreless, and the North Stars left with their fourth straight victory in an incredible start to this cycle’s qualifiers.

But next comes the week of death. It’s the Holy Empire and Nyowani Kitara back-to-back, the number one and two seeds. Nyowani Kitara has done well, but the Holy Empire, ranked first in the world, has struggled over the opening matchdays and will be looking to bounce back with a win over… well, everyone is a lowly-ranked side to them in WCQs, aren’t they, us included. We’ll have to sacrifice some rubber chickens for this one.

[Brenecia]

Savojarna 2 - 1 Brenecia
(4-4-2) 1 - Meade; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper; 15 - Wake, 19 - Seager, 8 - Conway (11 - Covolan 61'), 10 - Byrne (7 - Carpenter 61'); 21 - Lofthouse (14 - Tristram 73'), 9 - Baker
Goal: Killen 41'

Esther Smetona's smile was decidedly strained. She may have been a conservative, but was, even moreso, a technocrat. Taking tea with the queen was the kind of tradition she had little time for, sitting through with a tight smile and a script of bland nothings.
And they always, always ran overtime.
"And my little Muirne, you know," said Queen Mairin, plucking out another little cake as her captive audience looked on, "she's found herself a prince! Don't you know, a real royal marriage..."
"Yes, ma'am, we've heard."
"Oh, the things we've been called in the past." She sighed. "Peasants. Pig farmers who should have stayed exiled. Et cetera. Well! Evidently our name is good enough for a name as ancient and honoured as the Katendes..."
"Indeed," said Smetona, thinking that that might well be, but there was certainly a tiering involved. Muirne would become a Katende, fully and whole-heartedly; Ssekamanya would almost assuredly not become an Olaidh.
"We shall have to get ready for a proper royal reception, you know, if they ever wish to visit. Have your bean counters sort the details out."
"Of course, ma'am." Smetona was pretty sure, if they really made the budget stretch, they could afford a small buffet from a birthday catering service.
"And of course I shall have to share all my best jokes," said Mairin, still considering herself above such niceties as 'eating with her mouth shut'.
"Ah?"
"About the shags, you know."
"Oh." Brenecia and Banija did share a considerable enmity with Nephara. That was something.
"Would you like to hear one?"
"Uhm."
"So, well: 'there was a young woman from Creed / who thought it best she not breed / she kissed all the girls / with many a twirl / and died, for the best, at nineteen'."
Smetona blinked. "Haa," she said, dutifully.
"It's a limerick, you see. Or, there's, 'how many shags does it take to fasten a lightbulb'." She truly seemed to be waiting on the Prime Minister.
"I don't kn--"
"Four! One to bring the mistletoe, and the other three to kiss!"
"Haa," said Smetona, trying to figure out the punchline.
"Ooh, or, a priest, a normal person and a shag walk into..."

Smetona was, at last, permitted to leave. She had missed so many meetings. There was a meeting every second, it seemed.
Recognising the slightly concussed expression of someone who had survived The Torrent - the sixteen jokes Mairin could remember (all about Nepharim) - Princess Etain pounced, gliding in on her arm. "Prime Minister Smetona," she said.
And Smetona's synapses thought: wow. She's speaking to me crisply and cordially. She's using her words efficiently. Smetona fell a little in love. "Princess... ? I don't think we've truly had the pleasure."
"We met at a party, though some years before you were head of your party. Just a rising star then, I suppose. So, I suppose congratulations are due?"
Smetona smiled tightly. "Thank you. Though," she added, dutifully, "I suppose that's hardly very constitutional of you."
"Mm, well." Etain smiled. "I still have thoughts as a private citizen."
Smetona shrugged. "I suppose I should congratulate you, as well."
"Oh?"
"For your sister. Her engagement?"
"Ah." Etain's smile was genuinely fond. "It's a fairytale thing, for Muirne. She's so excited and swept away by the whole thing, you know."
"She has to convert, I heard. Or was that just--"
"No, no, she does. But it's no hardship. Besides, it's still one God above, the fundamentals hardly change." Etain's smile faded. "And we're both worried about how... shabby we'll look, by comparison. Don't worry; I know you don't have money to spare."
"There might be good news on that front, actually," said Smetona.
"Enough to spend on a lavish royal reception?"
"Er. Well, that, I doubt, but... I think the EU might be well-disposed towards some stimulus." Smetona hated going cap-in-hand to them, but she was, at the end of the day, a pragmatist.
Etain slowed as they reached the gardens, reaching a stop by a hulking oak. "May I speak candidly, Prime Minister?"
Here comes the question. Smetona looked at her warily. "Of course, Your Grace."
"I believe in you. I believe in what you're trying to do. But surely you realise your CPP are pariahs in the greater Esportivan project?"
Smetona bit her lip. "I... do."
"You need a president. A spokesperson with serious heft, but without having been... coloured by recent bad press."
"Ah. But we have a Queen."
"Yes. And there are... limits to her diplomatic ability." Etain smiled faintly. "A royal reception is about her level, I'd think."
"You want to be made a key spokeswoman in negotiations with the investigation coming for us. To wine, to dine, to bullshit."
Okay! Good. She did not have to lead her all the way to the water. "I just thought I would offer my services. I am a true patriot, Prime Minister, of that you can rest assured."
Smetona gave it some thought. Then, at last, she said, "Your offer is noted. We'll see. There may be some role for you. Princess." She inclined her head sharply, and then hustled for her limo.
Etain watched it go. The fish was hooked. She was sure Smetona would be grateful enough for the help, enough to allow Etain's foot in the door.
And from there, the possibilities were limitless.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cessair Meade (Rammsissil, VIL), 12 - Phoebe Corder (Ituraitz FC, ASG), 20 - Casper Harder (Sparta Zijweg, AUD)
Defenders: 2 - Esther Sidle (SC Montfort, TLI), 3 - Nimue Culpepper (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 5 - Athelney Shrine (Falourr, EUR), 6 - Cerys Staplewood (Suttonville, EUR), 17 - Caoimhin Hadley (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 18 - Iucharba Killen (North Laithland, NPH), 22 - Patrick Fitz (Royal Rumiatzi, ASG), 25 - Shana Reed (Creed United, NPH)
Midfielders: 4 - Skaidrina Briggs (Southern Star), 7 - Kendra Carpenter (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 8 - Iseult Conway (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 10 - Katua Byrne (KT Itzalovalle, AUD), 11 - Lienke Covolan (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 15 - Maerhen Wake (1830 Cathair, AUD), 16 - Sylvia Marusak (Juavi FC, VAL), 19 - Tamara Seager (FK Arsika, MYT), 23 - Rajmund Sitko (West Cuono United, TMB), 26 - Vaida Meskela (Makosile, VIL)
Forwards: 9 - Siobhan Baker (Anomalies, CMT), 13 - Mor-Rioghain Stokes (Mountainside, EUR), 14 - Danand Tristram (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 21 - Jadwiga Lofthouse (Yassaca, SRS), 24 - Cyprian Korsak (Kingsgrove)

Sharktail 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Captina Island
Savojarna 2 - 1 Brenecia
BYE
Brenecia vs. Karodin Tetrarchy
95X vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. United Adaikes
Garbelia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Huelavia
Adab vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Polkopia
Brenecia vs. Sharktail
Captina Island vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Savojarna
BYE
Karodin Tetrarchy vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. 95X
United Adaikes vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Garbelia
Huelavia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Adab
Polkopia vs. Brenecia

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: Kudos to Cordia for allowing me to RP Rodgers travelling to Creston to do this. Source for team of the month nomination claim.

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Saint Eleanor vs The Cordian Isles: Not all those who wander are found, as Parkinson learns
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers - reporting from Creston - pushes John Parkinson on whether he feels justified in having sought to oust Evans, and why
Originally published on Thursday 12th April 2001

Creston is a typically, perhaps even stereotypically, Cordian city. It is cold, bitter, windswept - and the locals take pride in their local football team, the Wolves. I said the locals. One of the players is only here because he had no future with his old club.

What is not at issue is John Parkinson's club career. Although initially a promising - even Golden Backpack-winning - young player who started getting regular minutes for local team Sword and Shield in 1997, his form drastically collapsed in the 1998 season and he capped it all off by conceding an unnecessary penalty against top-seeded Turori in the 90th World Cup qualifiers. (Saint Eleanor lost 2-0.) Having replaced Parkinson with now-capped Hugh Roanoke, Abraham Straw - in arguably the only great move of his spell as Arsenal manager - decided to put Parkinson on the transfer list. He moved to the Cordian Isles at the end of the year, where he has made the team of the month three times in the two completed league seasons so far but has generally done very little of note. He does insist that he likes it there.

The big issue is his spell with the national team, which ended in infamous circumstances: even notwithstanding the Turori incident, he joined clubmate Paul Ferry in urging manager Priscilla Evans to resign (even if in slightly less vitrolic terms) on the ironic basis that she was too lax with the squad and too willing to select relatively famous players. A fractured squad - Parkinson was joined by a third of the national team while nearly everybody else openly stood by the manager - could only manage one win in three games in Montaña Verde, sparking an early Cup of Harmony exit again and leaving Evans to clear out the dissenters. The names may be slightly more obscure, but most would agree that team cohesion is better.

I've had multiple questions for everyone else I've interviewed so far. But for Parkinson, I have just the one for now: Do you regret wanting Priscilla Evans to resign? "As far as I was concerned, Priscilla was just not good enough. She was wasting the support she was getting from her teammates, her staff and the FA and I quite honestly cannot believe that she is still in post as of this moment."

Do you regret wanting Priscilla Evans to resign? "Priscilla was not getting the squad in order; she was just not getting it. We did not need to remove seven or eight players and replace them with new ones: we needed a better manager with higher-quality drilling, a sense of cohesion and the willingness to see through a plan."

Was Priscilla Evans too loose as a manager? "Saint Eleanor is supposed to be a civilised football-playing nation. We should not be so relaxed when playing against top opponents. Zeta Reka and especially Starblaydia were both very good teams and there was no reason why we should have given up against them."

Did you just want Priscilla Evans to resign because of a poor World Cup qualification performance? "Our first qualifying campaign was, for the most part, a fluke. Priscilla did not know what she was doing back then, she did not know what she was doing in 1997 and 1998, and I very much doubt she knows what she is doing now. This is a systemic issue of failure, not an isolated incident."

Was Priscilla Evans clueless during the last World Cup campaign? "That was yet another story of us choking against opposition that, if not easily beatable, were at least the kinds of teams we could compete against. Points dropped against so many other teams, both in qualifying and in the finals, was unnecessary and unwanted, and it could have been prevented if Priscilla had the situation under control. Instead we have to plead with Stephen, or something along those lines. I fear we might have to do so even more in the future."

Do you want Stephen Mitcham as manager? "I just want a manager who knows his shit."

Your adoptive Cordian Isles visit your homeland to play another World Cup qualifier on Saturday, this time without yourself in tow for the hosts. Who do you think will win this weekend? "Both of these teams are really, really good and they've been sourcing heavily from leagues that are either established or rapidly developing. You know about Saint Eleanor, but the Cordians have good players: Anton [Osterholt] is a cult hero in a lot of circles and I'm biased when I say Eric Johnson could make an impact from the bench, but they have a lot of little-known players the Eleanorians won't expect and they could be devastating if let loose. With that said, I trust the defenders not to go too wild: I'm calling this one a 1-1 draw with both teams really fighting to the end, but I reckon both sets of fans are going to be a bit disappointed."

Some people may argue that John Parkinson destroyed his reputation when he called for Evans' head at the same time as his form for his first team started declining - but it would not be an exaggeration to say that he is playing the best football of his life at the Creston Wolves. It is. more than likely, not as good as the football we will see from the White Stars tomorrow. And please, whatever you do, do not talk to him about Priscilla Evans. You will not get an adequate response.

Saint Eleanor will play The Cordian Isles at 3pm on Saturday, at the National Liberation Arena in Central district (tickets are still available as of 6pm local time on Thursday). The game will also be broadcast on TV1 and Radio 3 on FM in Saint Eleanor, and SESB Worldwide on mediumwave and shortwave across the multiverse - all of which are arms of Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting.

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World Cup 92 - fourth matchday of qualification
Saint Eleanor 0
The Cordian Isles 1 (Sebastian Voll goal 68')

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Dr. Heo and the Portal of Madness

PART 6 - Map of the Problematique

The people of Quebec & Shingoryeo, or those who study them at very minimum, are aware about the significance of the Blood Sea (Hyeolhae, or if you read it directly by word’s sound and not the shortened Hanja form, Pi-bada). For those new to the nation, however, the ocean, which separates into the Shingoryeoite State’s two main seas in Salamantic and Grinshem seas, means more than just being the body of water that separates the two.

The Blood Sea, no matter what part of Rushmore you would exit or enter from, were known to be unpredictable, and while you would not exactly have the conventional sea monsters like the Kraken long described in the Pavolan (Graintfjall/Tikariot) or Shango-Fogoa (Banija/Farfadillis) lores, there was a very good chance that underestimating the dangers of sailing through these waters would become costly, and people would hear of an occasional sinking or disappearance of a freighter that would travel between Rushmore and northern Calania.

Usually the sinkings never had the same reason as the one before, or after, though nobody exactly knew why. Of all the possible reasons the likeliest one involved the compress violations, gulf streams, and not to mention the abundance of floating ice caps between the Calanaia’s north pole and the Rushmori south pole. That said, perhaps the biggest reason, and one that nobody but theologians, literary scholars and of course the ecrivains had suspected were the paranormal activities, where the ghouls, spirits and other creatures of varying kinds were haunting the waters with their seductive, all-seeing charms. Many sailors of the past would meet those creatures, who transcended nationalities, skirmishes and dimensions, would find themselves reflecting into the scenes of a chronotopic, delusional past, or an impossible future that the spirits and the sea monsters had managed to find themselves.

By offer of the technicolour renditions of their visions the sailors would find their hope and solace, and when you feel relieved that the sea has calmed down, that was how those sea monsters would extend their arms and mouth and eat their victims alive. Unlike the humans distracted by the gifts of the ever-evolved technology, the sea monsters themselves lacked company and lacking a physical form, they were subjected to eternities of loneliness. This had meant that their grey, dark form suited them perfectly lurking under the water, where they would watch and wonder over any ship or ceature that had come by. It is rumoured that even the Bua, who once reigned over his land known for the very five Wightling voids, the Narrative Board of Cabo Azure, and of course our very own Narrator, came close to falling into the abyss under those waters, which were more than enough to suggest that the Blood Sea was home to some of the most famous disappearances out in the Multiverse.

Of course, the existence of the special, floating house was left until the very end of this sequence to be explained. The Prospero Lounge, where the spiritual residents of the Shingoryeoite land and their distinguished guests, rarely pops out of the water. But when it does something urgent or important happened, it would mean that this house of twelve hundred interlocked rooms and dozens of active windows, had to emerge out of the water to the Blood Sea. In this ocean, no one was discriminated against or divided, and the people’s lives, through the very thin, gold threads that nobody but the ‘wide-eyed’ would be able to see, three regions would be brought together at the same time, without discrimination, hatred and most importantly inter-regional antagonism that had turned the waters into the light shades of human blood half a decade ago.

The nature of the water’s colours and tides were unique: it reflected the sheer state of the creators’ minds that would shake and roar when the unprecedented times of their real-life, multiple dimensions away, as the misunderstandings and poor communication would come to clash heads across the multiversal table. It also reflected the mind of the Blood Sea’s single-minded observer and custodian who knew deep inside that, no matter how difficult the task, the sea too would provide the escape plan from an average man’s miseries not of how his own, but which he held sympathies towards.

For the past two years the waters have remained mostly dark, between navy and pastel blue that reflected his mind and the state of tri-regional affairs. The darkness of those waters were usually were disadvantageous, for the lack of a sunlight in this part of Multiverse, combined with actual screams of long-deceased souls whose bodies had sunk, but whose souls would come to haunt the waters, had the impossibility of navigating the oceans. But the disguise they provided for the Prospero Lounge was more than ideal for the spirits to appear from their domains, for no ‘close-eyed man or woman’ would be able to see their appearance that already carried a layer of disguise.

It did leave the Narrator surprised, however, as he had found himself standing about a hundred metres over the sea level.

After making a light visit to Dr. Heo in the middle of the ferry train to Bel-Havre Island, one of his earliest creations, he promptly flew to Rushmore, where he had observed the workings of the Cabo Azure Narrative Committee from some distance, before watching Christine the Second, the unexpectedly conflicted heroine who would eventually find herself an unintended villain two decades later, complete her heart-to-heart conversations with the man in the lone, magical hut still surviving in the Garga Marsh of Deltean highlands. There was no doubt that the Narrator, being preoccupied with real-life matters and other greater priorities that had involved his care, did not expect the occasion at all, meaning that he did not even have any idea or were able to make any sense to ask his fellow residents what the hell was going on that morning when all their guests found their floor (and the entire basement) flooded.

‘What the fucking hell happened?’ The Narrator asked, his hands grasping his head by side, as he saw six of the residents swaying back and forth. He started to descend, though remaining some distance away, as he had managed to notice the house sink further and further with a red, emergency light shining from some distance away. ‘Why is the house floating and why did the evacuation alarm activate?’

The residents, however, were silent. They, dressed in dirty, wet, ragged renditions of their normal night clothes, had not much to say, and nor did they want to say anything. Besides, why should they? So much had changed after what the Creator had perceived to be a short amount of time and they had to hurry and escape the house in an effort for survival, not exactly to ask him where were all those cool places he has been over the last while.

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 3
Eura 3–3 Canadian Dominion
Scorers:
James 17, Marshall 30, West 62
Lineup:
30. V Simm
19. J Byrd
5. T Green
25. Q Phillips (sub Sherwood 76)
24. G Stewart
18. F Brown
22. D Barnes (sub West 55)
29. R Marshall (sub Vincent 70)
12. O James
17. R Brookfield (sub Singh 70)
26. T Vivier (sub Robson 67)

WORLD CUP 92 QUALIFYING – GROUP 4 – MATCHDAY 4
Indusse 0–1 Eura
Scorers:
Robson 70
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
2. A Mason (sub McKenzie 90)
4. J Menard
5. T Green
25. Q Phillips
3. L Almwood (sub Reeve 34)
6. J Gates (sub Matthews 65)
16. O Vincent (sub Robshaw 47)
12. O James
10. S Singh (sub Sharp 67)
9. S Robson

---

‘And now on EBC One, time for something a little different.’

A blazing din of bad techno music sounds off from the speakers of every home entertainment system in the land. A bespectacled host wanders onto the stage, dressed in a technicolour dream coat that will make your eyes bleed.

‘HELLO EURANS! HELLLLOOOOOOO!’

There is much commotion. It’s not clear how much of it is a real studio audience, and how much is some audio engineer from Directus with a digital soundboard.

‘I’d like to…thank you, thank you! Yes, I’m Plaetus Mandrake, I’d like welcome you all to my new show, The Decisionmaker, where we take random members of the Great Euran Public, put them in our special…POWER CHAIR…’

Mandrake points to a blue and gold armchair with two Euran flags behind it on either side. The possibly-but-maybe-not real audience reacts wildly.

‘…yessss, we all love the power chair, we do! And that is where our contestants will be going. To do what you might ask? To execute the sheer authority the chair deigns upon them, to channel the spirit of our leaders, to…oh hold on. I’m hearing something in my earpiece. Ok, apparently, I’m making this too confusing for our median viewer. Basically, we spin this wheel-‘

It’s a wheel with a pointer on it. A woman stands ready to spin it, who should be wearing more given it’s not the watershed yet, and women aren’t really supposed to be objectified on public television.

‘-and that’s Katie, we like Katie too, don’t we? Yes! Absolutely! Anyway, Katie spins the wheel, and it lands on any one of twenty current affairs issues from the headlines this week. The audience is then given thirty seconds to electronically vote for one of three options. Our contestants job? To act as if they are the Euran government responding to the issue, pick the right policy in response, and hope that the audience have selected the same option! If they pick the right response five times, they win a huge, lifechanging, £50,000!’

The audience screams in delight.

‘And if they don’t, they get…’

Without prompting, the audience yells, “GUNGED!”

‘GUNNNNGED! And, sadly, they go home empty handed. So, who will be in charge of us all this week? Let’s bring in our first contestant. Say hello everyone to…SAM! Sam, get up here, and remember to take your seat!’

A nervous looking guy in his thirties – why didn’t he shave? - shuffles onto the stage and lowers himself into the Power Chair.

‘Good to meet you Sam. What do you do?’

‘I’m, uh, a sheepskin walloper.’

‘A – you what?’

‘I wallop sheepskin. It’s a thing.’

‘Right, well, let’s move swiftly on from that. Time for your first question!’

The wheel is spun and lands on an answer. As the answer is selected, the studio lights dim and Mandrake puts on his really rather serious face.

‘Our first question of the night, is…’

’A humongous 9.2 magnitude earthquake has smashed the little known island nation of Montaña Verde. Hundreds may be dead, many more are facing homelessness, disease and lack of food and water. The political system appears to be rather dodgy. What are you going to do?’

‘A – Direct non-government organisations and charities to raise money independently and get onto Verdean territory, helping people on the ground.
B – Do everything in Option A, but also send Euran Navy aircraft carrier ENS Abraham and logistics escorts to provide energy from its nuclear reactor, and a detachment of ship’s crew and Marines to help as required?
C – Issue a bellicose speech from Bastion decrying the Verdean way of life as degenerate, and declare that the disaster is God’s will. Declare war on any country attempting to help them.’

‘…is the 30 seconds up? Ok. Uhm…ok…well the third one seems a bit, I dunno’, rude, but the first one…’

‘What about the first one?

‘Just sounds a bit naff, doesn’t it? People rustling buckets and stuff. And charities should be doing all that stuff anyway. I pick B. Get the Navy to help. Our Navy are pretty great, they’ll help fix things.’

‘Well Sam. That’s an interesting choice…and it’s the RIGHT ONE, one question down, congratulations!’

The audience woops and cheers as Sam smiles back at them nervously.

‘Funnily enough that’s more or less what we are set to do in real life, with Foreign Secretary Eloise Chadwick personally offering her condolences for any loss of life and injury. Now, on to our next question! Spin the wheel Katie! Here we go…ooh, a spicy one!’

’A Tumbran MP, Raymond Walters, has been gunned down in the country’s parliament. He’s a notorious bigot who hates the indigenous population of a newly annexed territory, the Northlands, but nevertheless, this assault on a democratically elected politician has shocked the nation. What are you going to do?’

‘A – Express your deepest sympathies for the MP and his loved ones. Reiterate Euran support for Tumbra’s democracy, but say nothing on the Northlands, because its awkwardly similar to the Cooper River conflict.
B – Express your deepest sympathies for the MP and his loved ones, but go further by declaring Northlands-related terrorism shall never win, and offer Eura’s support for Tumbra on the issue of Northlands annexation.
C – It’s time to stop brutal Tumbran aggression. Enforce a crippling sanctions regime against Tumbra for its imperialism in the Northlands, and offer political asylum to the shooter of Mr Walters.’

‘Oh man, that’s a uh, that’s a real toughie. I don’t think we can do B this time, you know? I watched a documentary about the Cooper River, and that Gastineau massacre thing. Did you know the Dagans barbecue small children if they try to speak French? It’s so crazy.’

‘Its terrible. All of us here on this programme, regardless of nonsense guidelines about EBC neutrality, condemn in the strongest possible terms any and all butchery on the part of the Cassadaiguan autocracy – including their troops putting house pets on pikes to terrify Cooperite civilians. It is definitely a thing. Viewers can trust me because I’m on television and they’re not.’

‘Yeah. But C is too far the other way. At least, like, the Northlands can vote, right? I think that’s what I read. So, I reckon A.’

‘A! A for articulate, as in your arguments about the Dagan menace, and I’m happy to tell you that the audience agree!!!’

There is splendid joy among all present. Sam wees himself just a little bit.

‘Sam, you are doing so well! Just three more questions, three right answers, and you win the £50,000!’ Here comes the spin…its looking good…ahah, now, this is interesting. I didn’t think we’d get this one. Question 3…’

’Cabo Azure, home to barely half a million people who all speak a weird language that offends my senses, has recently allowed a Quebecois military base to be set up on its territory, not all that far from Eura. With rumours of secretive Graintfjaller facilities on the island abound, what are you going to do?’

‘A – Wipe them out of existence with a few megatons of firepower.
B – Send spies to infiltrate the islands and make sure they’re up to no good, while grilling them publicly about their intentions.
C – Do nothing at all, continuing trade and normal relations with the Azureans, comfortable in the knowledge that they pose no threat to us and that many centuries of event-free co-existence can continue.’

‘Ok…hmm….’

‘Sam. Sam. Sam, you need to nuke them.’

‘Wait, why?’

‘Because they’re threatening our way of life.’

‘How?’

‘…they just are, ok?’

‘I dunno’ mate. I went on holiday there once. Sao Simone was nice. And that Vasco Cardoso bloke who plays for Mountainside is pretty handy. Can’t we just leave them alone? Option C?’

‘Are you su-‘

‘Yes, I’m sure, absolutely sure this time.’

‘Fine. And…ugh, the audience agrees. Lame.’

‘Why do you hate them so much?’

‘Because my ex-wife is Azurean and, BY THE WAY CAMILA, I WANT THE DOG BACK. It’s in the agreement! You know it is! Goddamnit. Let’s move on, to hell with this. Just give us the next question. It better-‘

The audience gasps and giggles as the spinning wheel lands on the fourth question topic.

‘How did this get in here? Is this some kind of practical joke?’

’A new wave of erectile dysfunction has struck Euran men, according to the latest data from the Hornchurch Institute of Genital Sciences. In an epidemic of embarrassment dubbed “Willy-gate” by the tabloids, there are fears that the increase in ED could undermine national morale, and further increase the influence of the notorious pharmaceutical corporations. What are you going to do?’

‘A – Blame it on the Samebans and let the electorate lap it up. Works every time.
B – Introduce a new Stimulation Tax on the pharmaceutical industry, in order to fund further studies and treatment for this troubling crisis.
C – Nationalise the entire pharmaceutical industry and make stimulant drugs for men free at the point of use.’

‘…right, well, I’m not sure which funny so-and-so on the production staff thought it would be witty to slip this question into the mix-‘

‘Heh.’

‘Shut the fuck up Sam. Really. Just give me your answer and be done with it.’

‘Well, I’ve got no problem in that department, if you catch my drift! Its not a hard choice for me. No, I don’t think my answer will be a disappointment. It’s the longest answer-‘

’SAM.’

‘…sorry. Pick B. I don’t think we actually need to do anything, but A seems a bit racist, so…’

‘Good. Well, anyway. The audience…agree with you! Hooray for you. Blimey. Right. You’ve got four questions now Sam, that puts you just one away from the big fifty grand, how do you feel?’

‘Brilliant. I really hope this show is helping people become more interested in, like, the news and all that. Maybe even, you could say, its arousing their interest…’

Mandrake, to the shock of all, backhands Sam so hard that the poor man’s eyes water.

‘Enough! E-fucking-nough! Final question, please. SPIN THE WHEEL!’

The wheel lands on an actually important story, to Mandrake’s relief.

’With Harry Barnham set for an international tour promoting strong relations between Eura and other countries, a country we know well is struggling. Brenecia has suffered from unrest for a few years and is now beset by politically instability. Some blame this at least partially on Euran companies exploiting the Brenecian workers, and the threat of fascist autocracy lurks in the background, while the unelected monarchy takes an increasing role in public affairs. For the final time tonight, what are you going to do?’

‘A – Send the Foreign Secretary to Brenecia to visit the government, offer support, and discuss the issues facing a key partner in Esportiva.
B – Call up the various Euran firms and their local front’s in Brenecia and give them a talking to, or failing that, design incentives for them to stop tarnishing Eura’s reputation abroad, by improving working conditions for Brenecian employees.
C – Go to Corvistone and have a steaming piss up with Alisander Pike. Wake up the next morning and realise that you have launched a joint invasion of Brenecia, have made the Fiana Cove base the new capital, and renamed the entire nation Gray Eura.’

‘I don’t get it. Why does there have to be a novelty answer every time?’

‘Stop being such a nerd. Our audience are thickos-‘

The crowd boos vociferously.

‘-oh shush, you know I’m right. Anyway, come on Sam. One more agreeable answer and you’ll be home and dry. What way are you going to go?’

‘Obviously C is dumb. I quite like B but, if I were a politician, wouldn’t they like, turn around and fund my opponents? That would be bad I guess. So…erm…its going to have to be A, I think.’

‘A it is. A…A-can’t believe it, you’ve won FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS!!!’

The audience lift the roof with a sensational burst of jubilation, as Mandrake beams and Sam jumps out of his seat, finally letting go of his inhibitions.

‘SAM! YOU’RE OUR FIRST EVER WINNER! What an achievement, wow. What are you going to do with your winnings?’

‘Coke. And hookers. And coke off the-‘

‘Ok alright, we get the picture. Let's give Sam an ovation everyone, congratulations to our new champion! And, who can believe it, it turns out the same option picked by the audience and Sam, for all five questions, is the one the real Euran government did every single time! Who knows, maybe this whole thing is just some weird way of articulating Euran positions on various issues in a different setting. It’s like some writer has thrown this together because they thought their usual style was getting a little samey. And other writers are doing the same for other countries, but maybe they do it in a newspaper article, or a transcription of a parliamentary debate. Or what if – hold on a minute! What if we’re all just characters in a-‘

The show immediately goes off air. Mandrake is hauled off stage by agents of the Office of State Intelligence, not to appear again publicly for a month, after which he will seem docile, quiet and never mention this show again. The entire audience sign non-disclosure agreements. The writer of this piece is shot in a ditch. Hey wait a minu

[Hapilopper]

The Team Hapilopper headquarters, Hapilopper City
Leading up to World Cup 92 Qualifying Match 5: Hapilopper v. Legalese

“PERKINS: WE GOT OUR ASSES KICKED”

“CONCERN OVER LEADERSHIP AT TEAM HAP”

“STANFORD, ELLIS SENT OFF AFTER ARGUING WITH REFEREE”

“OMERICA OUTPLAYS HAPILOPPER, PULLS OFF UPSET”

Dom Probst, the head of the Hapilopper Football Association looked at the headlines that followed the four preceding qualifying matches and shook his head. He was in his office, along with head coach Thom Perkins and assistant coaches Nathan Ellis and Myrone Rhule, holding an emergency meeting after what had been a frustrating start to the World Cup 92 qualifying campaign. The first four matches had been immensely frustrating. In the first match, Team Hapilopper was outplayed by Tecoia. In the second match, against Kethsi, while the team dominated, winning 4-1, there was concern that players were going into business for themselves and disregarding the tactics set out by the coaching staff.

In the third match, against the Southern Palm Islands, Ashley Stanford, conducting a cynical challenge on Blue Palm striker Peter Plascas, was booked by the referee. Instead of just moving on, Stanford decided to give the referee the what-for, and before long, Stanford was nose-to-nose with the referee. Nathan Ellis, about as quickly as a man with a destroyed knee could, rushed over to give the referee the same treatment. Both Ellis and Stanford were screaming at the referee, who decided he wasn’t taking it and ejected both. Both were suspended for the Omerica match, and it showed.

Dom was, to put it lightly, fuming about the fact that Nathan Ellis, a coach, had allowed himself to stoop to bad behavior he had been warned about when playing. He was fuming over the fact that Nathan hadn’t gotten Ashley out of there, and was fuming over the fact that Nathan, so it seemed, egged Ashley on to keep arguing.
Meanwhile, there was a belief that maybe, by some chance, that Thom Perkins was starting to lose control of the clubhouse. That maybe, by some chance, the players were getting a little too cocky, a little too arrogant. After all, they were 28th in the multiverse, so they were shoo-ins to qualify, right?

Well, you know the answer to that question.

“First of all, I’m seeing it,” Dom said. “Those players, you can’t teach them anything. You can’t teach them jack shit. They’ve already learned everything, so why bother? Perkins, I’ve known you a long time, so I’m trying to figure out how the hell you let this happen. How the hell did those kids get so arrogant?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Thom replied. “I couldn’t tell you if I lived to be a million. They just, they feel like they’re too good for this world.”

“And that’s going to change,” Dom snapped. “I don’t want to think you’re losing control of that clubhouse, but that’s what I’m starting to think. I want you to regain control the way you know how. There’s too many players in that clubhouse that are building superstar egos and it needs to change NOW. I saw it with Parker doing that stupid dance of his when we were down 3-1 to that Baptism of Fire side. I see it with players coming in with those really expensive cars, the really expensive clothing, who the hell do we think we are?”

“Well…”

“Two qualifications and we think we’re the cock of the walk!” Dom continued. “That needs to change and it needs to change NOW. I’m sick and tired of seeing that attitude. I want to see a culture change and NOW.”

Everyone nodded their heads.

“We have come too far to allow ourselves to fall back,” Dom said. “We are not going back to Cup of Harmony Hell, you understand me? Four matches in, we’re going to change our attitudes NOW. Ellis, you’re good at whipping people up into shape, Perkins, you’re just as good at that, you start cracking the whip!”

Which would explain why, later that day, the Team Hapilopper squad was informed that the party was over. The entire team was required to get into the headquarters at 5 a.m. sharp and on the practice pitch at 6 a.m. The media was informed that all media availabilities with the players would be cancelled until further notice. And players would be given an undisclosed monetary fine for “putting themselves ahead of the team” – which was understood to mean incidents such as Parker Mathis’s stupid goal-scoring dance if the team was trailing an opponent they shouldn’t be trailing.

There would also be penalties for “unnecessary cards” – which was to mean, penalties for unnecessary penalties. Accidentally drop someone while jockeying for the ball? That’s fine. Accidentally get into someone after they pass the ball? That’s kind of borderline, but OK. Suplex someone into the turf, leaving a small crater in the pitch, far away from the play? Yeah, you’re gonna get got twice – first from the referee who red-cards your dumb ass, and next from Thom Perkins and Dom Probst, who you might have to explain to them why in the hell you were an idiot and got yourself ejected.

As the time drew near for the match against Legalese, it was clear the new attitude, and the new rules on Hapiloppian players were having an impact. Whether that was a positive impact or not, however, remained to be seen.

[Vilita]

FOOTSPORT ASSOCIATIONS OF VILITA & ELECTRUM - WC92 ✓

@FAVE92

Another Day of #IAQ arriving late to the media center and with an unknown rep in blue and gold running in alongside them, only to realize they were in the wrong place and having to sneak out the back without anyone noticing. @SpinningLeek Restaurant 20% offer extended through Friday!



#CUTOFF :: #GRP_8-15

[Legalese]

A list of phrases that describe the ability of Messrs Cowan, Muir, and James to score goals, as evidenced by the one they've scored in three matches so far:
Submitted by our lovely, understanding readers, who would most assuredly do better

• "Give them an open goal and the ball on the six, and they'll kick it over."
• "They're so cold, they've nearly hit zero. Zero Kelvin, that is."
• "They couldn't organize a folder with three items in it."
• "You know how a broken clock is still right twice a day? That's twice as right as they've been."
• "The mole would give them a free shot out of pity."
• "If a tiger's chasing you, you just have to outrun them."
• "They couldn't indict a ham sandwich."
• "If they fell out of a boat, they'd die of altitude sickness."

---
On the practice pitch, Joey Muir frowned. He just knew that something was off, but couldn't quite place it.

Nor was it a problem in practice. Grant had them running situations up and down the pitch, from set pieces to quick transitions and the like, and not a single shot missed. Everything was either in or saved. If it was the Yips, the yips had been yeeted.

"I don't know, skip" he said afterwards. "Everything's looking right again, but somehow it just hasn't been there. I don't want to take myself out, but maybe Win deserves a shot? He's the only one off the mark so far."

"I'm not replacing you with Crossley." Grant's response was short in every way possible. "Besides, he wasn't even shooting -- that was a cross that went in."

"Yeah, but at least he scored. I couldn't organize an orgy in a brothel right now."

"You know, that's harder than it looks. It's a lot of people who need to negotiate that sc-"

"You get my point. Maybe I just don't have it anymore."

Grant paused. "That's not the words I expected from a guy who could be playing at Miradela right now."

"If I'd done that, I'd be getting to Vilita before it looks like any of us might be, at the rate things are going."

[Pemecutan]

MD 3
BYE
MD 4
Pemecutan   2 – 1   Tecoia

Goal scorers:
Agus Setiahadi (58')
Dewa Putu Mahardika (82')

Substitutes:
Dwi Putra Kusuma <—> Yuhabani Nehusandak (61')
Leo Olivando <—> Wisnu Pramana (74')
Samsul Hermawan <—> Kadek Rai Partha (86')

---

---

---

---

Soma Paing Wuku Kelawu, Pawukon 1783

---

---

Rematch Revenge

Mengwi - The fourth match day of the 92nd World Cup qualifying round is one of the most anticipated match for the team in this edition. After the announcement of the drawing and the match schedule, this fourth match day is the most crucial one. And the reason behind it is Tecoia. On the fourth match day, after the country get a bye, they are welcoming Tecoia to Pemecutan. The match becomes crucial and important because of the previous meeting at the final of 11th Mandalanusa Cup where Tecoia surprisingly humiliated Pemecutan in a penalty shootout to claimed their victory as a newcomer team. The result upsets Pemecutanian fans that they were rioting in the stadium, Daulapura. The anarchist supporters behavior led to Pemecutan sanctioned by CMFA. The national team's supporter is barred to present at the stadium where Pemecutan will be competing in any event sanctioned by CMFA. The banned is applies for 3 competitions.

Ahead to the match, chief police of Mengwi, Dewa Bagus Sudarma said that extra security is planned in order to prevent possible chaos in this high tension match. The match have been dubbed as the Revenge of Pemecutan. A total of 40 officers were stationed at the 10 gates around the stadium. With another 10 control the pitch. With this high security level, some media teased the police for their exaggerated precaution. But the police chief said that they don't want the same situation happened like in Daulapura which harmed Pemecutan reputation. "As the host, we will take any precautions measure possible in order to prevent any possible circumstances before, during or after the match. We have to show the world that we're ready to held an extra secured match," said Dewa Bagus Sudarma. From the officials side, they did the precaution by selling about 24,000 tickets or around 80% of the stadium's full capacity. Two thirds of the tickets were sold for Pemecutanian supporters while the rest were for Tecoian. Seating arrangement was also applied. Tecoian supporters was designated to occupy the west tribune. While from supporter side, leaders of big and small supporter groups in Pemecutan urged their members to stay calm during the match. They don't want to humiliated their country again. The sanctioned by CMFA has become a big lesson for them. Extra checks was held during the entrance for flares and other sensitive objects.

The high tension was not just seen from the preparation before the match but also after the kick off. Both teams show their high skills in managing the ball and great strategy. No wonders PFA official still hold Pramana's resignation plan until after the World Cup. His strategy is a masterpiece. But Tecoia is not a team that can be underestimate. The players are focused and their counter attacks were deadly enough to make Pemecutanian defense shudder. Halfway through the first half of the match, the score was still double 0. But the attendees were shown a high entertainment from both teams manager's strategy and their players skills which made the match didn't boring at all. Near the end of the first half, a mistake made by Dwi Putra Kusuma led to a goal by Tecoian striker. 1-0 to Tecoia.

The police who were stationed on the pitch became alert as the supporters battling in their chant. Tecoian supporters were loud in their celebration for the goal. While Pemecutanian supporters loud in pushing their players and blaming Kusuma. The spike of tension subside as the whistle for the break was sounded by the referee. The fans were calm down again as they were waiting for the second half.

In the second half, Pemecutan started to dominate the match while the defense were in high alert for Tecoian deadly counter attack. However, Leo Olivando, Pemecutan highest scorer, was tightly blocked by Tecoian defense which makes him hard to move. Luckily, Rama Karyadi and Agus Kusumawijaya made a passed to Tecoian left wing. The surprise attack overwhelmed Tecoian defense which let Kusumawijaya face to face with the goalkeeper. 1-1, Pemecutan equalize. A thundering sound can be heard from the tribune as Pemecutanian supporters celebrate the waited goal. They were energized again as their team was able to equalized. Pramana then made a couple of substitution. Dwi Putra Kusuma was replaced by Yuhabani Nehusandak. And Wisnu Pramana replaced Leo Olivando who was unable to performed at his best because of the tight guarded Tecoian defense. The replacement refreshed the team performance. But the tight match continue until nearing the end. Rama Karyadi initiated the attack but Tecoian defense become alerted as they ran back to the defense line. Pemecutanian players flocked the defense as they try to breached them. In a chaos, Wisnu Pramana saw a slight chance to shot. He put his hope to the small chance and shot the ball a little higher. The Tecoian defenses were surprise with the shot. The same as the goalkeeper. He reacted a split second late from the shot. As everyone thought the shot will be bounced at the top left bar, but it smoothly went in just a few milimeters below the bar in a very thin shot. The goal sent a wave of joy throughout the whole stadium. While Tecoian supporters looking down languidly with the result. 2-1, Pemecutan in lead.

It was 8 minutes left until the end of the second half. Tecoian players were in high passion to equalize the score. While Pemecutan change the strategy to defense mode as they wanted to take home the 3 points. Tecoia made a series of chances but none of it able to end successful. And as the referee blow his whistle, a signed that ended the match, the 2-1 score remained. Tecoian players look helpless while Pemecutanian supporters being loud again as they were celebrating the victory.

A friendship gestures made by Pemecutanian players as they shake hands and hugs Tecoian players in the end of the match. No hurts feeling because winning and losing is a common thing in football. The high tension match ended beautifully with the winning of Pemecutan. It is also build up the friendship between the two rival teams. Although it cost Pemecutan its right midfielder, Samsul Hermawan. He was replaced near the end of the second half after getting injury. It is confirmed that he won't be called for the next two matches against Ketshi and another neighboring country, Southern Palm Islands.

---

---

MD 5
Kethsi v Pemecutan
MD 6
Pemecutan v Southern Palm Islands
@ Manguwi Stadium, Mengwi
Starters: 
Benches:

21 GK Aksabala Jandisuga 
Herman Putrawan GK  1

2  LB Yuhabani Nehusandak 
Gede Arya Wisesa LB 24

3  CB Sorabala Aksapadan 
Surya Brata Wijaya CB 13

4  CB Satya Putra Laksamana (C) 
Oscar Tri Atmaja RB 26

14 RB Alvino Bastian 
Agus Setiahadi CM 19

15 LM Basuyuha Padurjana 
Kristian Subrata RM 17

7  CM Rama Karyadi 
Pandu Oka Jaya ST 32

30 RM Kadek Rai Partha 
Reserve benches:

20 ST Wisnu Pramana 
Gery Afilianto GK 33

10 ST Leo Olivando 
Putra Eka Laksana CB 18

28 AT Dewa Putu Mahardika 
Pande Nyoman Trias Hadi LM 35

Ngakan Putu Suweca CM 29

Komang Trisna Mahayana AT 11

[Bears Armed]

The mysterious [but Ursine-looking] being currently known across Bears Armed -- and in some other countries, too -- as 'Sermharn the Wanderer' sat in the study of his current townhouse in Council Groves and looked at the differences between two sets of astronomical photographs that had been sent to him by the director of the National Observatory. These pictures had been accompanied by a letter, explaining what the differences seemed to imply, headed by a rather hysterical-looking exclamation that "THE STARS ARE WRONG!" He shrugged. The situation worrying the astronomers was that the stars' positions had altered on the day before last, over the course of daytime during which their observation was (of course) not possible, into those into which the precession of the equinoxes would only have been expected to take them once a further fourEights (OOC _ i.e. thirty-two) years had elapsed. Clearly, he thought, this was another effect of the Multiverse's efforts at re-synchronising the relative dates in Bears Armed and "Outside"... Nothing really to worry about, except maybeso for people navigating by the stars. (He made a mental note to check whether the change had also, conveniently, altered navigational guides across the nation and its neighbours...) Opening a drawer in his bureau, he drew out a copy of the standard letter that he'd already started sending to those other people and organisations who belatedly had noticed the difference in elapsed times inside and outside the region and added this additional explanation as a postscript. (As he wrote this the same extra paragraph also appeared, "as if by magic", in the same position on each and every one of the copies of the document still remaining in that drawer.) Sermharn folded the sheet over, so that its message was on the inside, and sealed it in this condition. Then he walked across to a half-open window, and whistled two lines of the tune from a song that few people except himself were old enough to remember. One of several Ravens that had been perched on the roof of a nearby building responded to this signal by flying across and standing on his windowsill.

"This is for delivery to the Director of the National Observatory," Sermhan told the bird quietly. "Same-day delivery will do, it's not any more urgent than that. Please wait for up to a watch, by clock-time, in case there's a reply to bring to me." (OOC: Originally 'a watch' in Ursine time-keeping meant one-eighth of the time between sunrise & sunset on the day concerned, or one-eighth of the time between sunset & sunrise instead if also trying to measure the passage of time at night, and thus varied in length through the year: "by clock-time", however, it refers to the unit of standardised duration that was introduced after the introduction of mechanical clocks -- so that those wouldn't need to be complex enough to modify the speeds of their hands' movements according to the date -- and that is one-sixteenth of a 'calendar' day long [i.e. ninety minutes, by our RL reckoning].)

"By true, 'Ancient-in-Wisdom'," replied the bird in a somewhat guttural Corvine accent. "As you have instructed, so shall it be done." (Sermharn sighed, inwardly. Were the Ravens assigned to carry his messages actually chosen on the basis of pomposity, or did their service's leaders really think that he needed such old-fashioned formalities?) Reaching out with its left wing, the Raven somehow grasped the letter with the tip of this and stowed it away away [invisibly (!)] in the space under its right wing that had previously seemed to be nothing but empty air. (OOC: these Ravens have access to a form of what some of you might call 'Hammerspace'...) Then it turned around, took to the air, and drifted leisurely off into the distance.

Returning to his bureau, Sermharn prepared to file the photos and their covering letter, with another copy of his reply, in the "Settled" drawer... but then a detail in one of the newer set of the photographs caught his eye: He checked and, indeed, none of the older images also featured this addition... How had the astronomers missed that fact? A previously-unreported star, appearing red in colour and so bright that it presumably was a relatively LARGE one -- or relatively close, or subject to some combination of those two factors -- had appeared "overday" in the directon of the constellation known to Bears as 'the Angry Birds' [for reasons long since lost to history, which he himself couldn't recall offhand] but to many outsiders as 'the Hyades'. He placed that photo back onto his bureau's writing surface, marked this extranous star's position by using a different pen to draw a line to it [in luminous yellow ink] from the mid-point of the photo's left-hand edge, and sat back down to think.

His musings were interrupted not long after they had started, by a ring on the house's doorbell. (OOC: 'To Be Continued...)

[Aleirave]

A Quest for Tomorrow
StrayaRoos Barrier Islands 1-1 Aleirave
Aleirave 2-4 Turori

"Wait, you're planning on coming here?" Releo Akanua asked Michael Wylen over the phone.
"Yeah, and I was wondering if you could get me a place to stay. We're might be there for a couple of weeks or more, so we're gonna need some good lodging..."
"Well of course, my home is your home, no questions asked." Releo told Michael.

Releo was the assistant of Governor Adari'ena, so he had gotten to know Michael quite well over the past couple years, since, as the king and the governor had their regular chats, so too did their assistants.

"Huge thanks, this is a really important trip--"
"No problem. After all, it is the Aleiravan way to help a friend in need, no matter what."
"I mean, that's a thing here too..."
"Yeah but I like saying things are the Aleiravan way, it makes me sound more cultured!"

Michael just stared off into the distance after that attempt at comedy. It just seemed to miss for him.

"So Michael, you say we... who's coming along with you?"
"Oh, just a couple of friends, they won't be much of a bother since we're gonna either be out investigating or in our rooms putting together clues most of the time..."
"Investigating? What are you investigating?"
"Well, uh..."
"Michael... you can tell me--"
"We're looking for the king."

Releo just paused. "This mission... that's a huge one for sure."

"Yeah, I know that... that's why we need time."
"If you ever need any help figuring things out... let me know, I'd be happy to help."
"Of course, I always know I can ask you for help. See ya later Releo."
"Bye Michael."

*CLICK*

[Xanneria]

www.Railphotos.xan - Photo tour!

RAILROAD: Western Rail
LOCOMOTIVE: SLW Z Series
LOCOMOTIVE #: WR 1944
LOCATION: Port Carlsburg, Denalia
DATE: August 14th 2044
DESCRIPTION: Just south of Buccaneer Bay near the suburb of Port Carlsburg lies some rocky coast line. The Western Rail company has traversed the rocky shorline with help from some bridges. Back in the 1600s and 1700s the coves and rocky shore was a huge hidout for pirates and other maritime raiders on the western coast of Xanneria.

SCORECARD

XANNERIA - 0
Ko-Oren - 0

XANNERIA - 6 Bryse 9' 55' Burns 25' 71' D'arcy 19' Bon Air 90+4
Lisander - 1 ??? 83'

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Yuezhou - 3
Squornshelan Remnant States - 3

Goals:
YUE: Jiang; 34', Luo N.; 44', Ji; 79'
SRS: Gerstlauer; 21', 61', Petrov 88'

Lineup: Shimski; Nyberg, Harkhan, Bucvarov, Achthoven (Malgos 57'); Tabur, Hashemi; Dast, Zazagan, Ditou (Eanain 70'); Gerstlauer (Petrov 76')

Squornshelan Remnant States - 0
Pyazhnaya - 0

Goals:
NONE

Lineup:
SRS: Shimski; Bakken (Stern 88'), Harkhan, Titov, Halfariani; Zazagan, Nisarizo (Hashemi 65'); Yonte, Arikansky (Koshelev 65'), Bondarov; Fridtjofs

Schedule and Results

FRND: SRS 0-0 DRK @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem
FRND: SRS 1-2 CBP @ Ripper Stadium (cap. 40,000), Constantinople, New Gesem

MD01: RAN 2-1 SRS @ Smith Field (cap. 19,050), Richardson, RAN
MD02: SRS 3-2 SCO @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD03: YZH 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD04: SRS 0-0 PYA @ Black Raven Field (cap. TBA), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD05: BRP  v  SRS @ TBA
MD06: SRS  v  TLI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD07: KAN  v  SRS @ Empress Masumi Stadium (cap. 90,000), Tenkyo, KAN
MD08:     BYE
MD09: SRS  v  BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 46,950), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD10: NSV  v  SRS @ Tiên Sơn Stadium, Đà Nẵng, NSV
MD11: SRS  v  SRG @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle Megabrantis, SRS
MD12: SRS  v  RAN @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD13: SCO  v  SRS @ SuperNerd Wants To Fight Video Game And Computer Store Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD14: SRS  v  YZH @ Slavnareczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD15: PYA  v  SRS @ TBA
MD16: SRS  v  BRP @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD17: TLI  v  SRS @ LTI Stadium (cap. 75,000), Montfort, TLI
MD18: SRS  v  KAN @ Vogsphere Arena (cap. 90,000), Vogsphere, Isle of Squornshelous, SRS
MD19:     BYE
MD20: BGJ  v  SRS @ TBA
MD21: SRS  v  NSV @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD22: SRG  v  SRS @ Estadio Generalissimo Joaqín Delgado (cap. 108,879), Soluca, SRG

World Come Undone, Part 11
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Recap
“Why did you join my beloved corps?”
“Sir, to kill, sir!”

As the first storms of autumn began to sweep through the Squornshelan straits, Grand Admiral Kennet Bogdanov’s massive expeditionary forces hove into view off the coasts of West Squornshelous.

Their first order was the occupation of the major port facilities of Algolia, Sivolvia, and Megabrantis. Under the command of Admiral Saveliy Tennfjord‘s Task Force Eagle, the 3rd Marine Division would occupy Damogran, the 4th Vassilian, and the 8th Syneca. Task Force Condor, commanded by Admiral Bjarte Olander, deployed the 2nd and 11th divisions to Arkintoofle and Brantisvogan, respectively. The handover was relatively simple in most cases. The army garrison loaded onto trucks and left as tens of thousands of marines filed down the gangways of their ships.

Once the marines had secured those five crucial port cities, they would be ready to spread out into the surrounding countryside, along with further reinforcements that would be landed at a later date. As it was, there were already over 20,000 marines suddenly disembarked in each target port. An Imperial Marine division on paper numbered no less than 25,000 combat personnel, but the reality was that not every division can be at its listed strength at all times, and the vagaries of organization and logistics meant there was always some variation in the precise strength and equipment of each unit.

While the citizens of the occupied cities might have felt some initial sense of amusement watching the marines roll through the streets in amphibious trucks, that sentiment was quickly replaced with fear as the Marines imposed draconian new restrictions on civilians, including a universal curfew, and the cancellation of all cultural events, including concerts and sports matches. Those in violation of any of the myriad restrictions would be arrested and fined, and quite often also beaten for their trouble. Tens of thousands of elite soldiers itching for a fight thrust into the largest urban centers in West Squornshelous without a clear enemy was a recipe for atrocity.

The first deaths are a pair of dock workers in Arkintoofle. Not appreciating the presence of several marines taking up spots at their favorite bar, the two picked a fight, and ended up bleeding out in the gutter outside. The penalty for bringing only fists to a knife fight. Other unfortunates soon joined them, many in circumstances much less savory than a barfight gone too far. Regarding the women of these port cities, well, the Imperial Marines behaved as conquering armies always have done, and were rarely, if ever punished for their conduct. While some survived their encounters with the new occupiers, they subsequently found themselves packed off to penal camps for running afoul of the marines.

While the marines “pacified” the port cities and prepared for operations further into the Algolian and Megabrantid hinterlands, another prong of the naval offensive was already in motion. Apart from the 8th division at Syneca, the Sivolvian peninsula would not be receiving any further reinforcement, and the army garrisons at Yassaca and Brasta were temporarily placed under naval chain of command. Instead of sending troops into the rugged and densely forested mountains of Sivolvia, the Navy planned to neutralize the rebel presence there with air power. The complements of seven aircraft carriers would be devoted to this task. Over the western slopes of the mountains, the air groups of the massive, brand new fleet carriers Admiral Rozhestvensky and Admiral Porensky, augmented by the smaller contingent from the light carrier Admiral Oxenstierna. From the east, the older fleet carriers Admiral Burachyok and Admiral Sioblad were joined by a pair of light carriers to cover everything on their side of the mountains. Their mission would be to maintain air patrols of attack aircraft to respond with devastating force to any reports of insurgent activity.

It should have been all too easy to predict that naval pilots, screaming by at more than 500 miles per hour, would have difficulty distinguishing insurgents from innocents. No one knows just how many Sivolvians were killed in airstrikes that autumn. At least as many bystanders as actual rebels, if even the most conservative estimates are to be believed. This was all to plan though. The Imperium felt that massive escalation would shock a cow the West back into quiescence, and that people fearing their own utter annihilation were the most orderly and cooperative sort of people. It is true that revolutionary groups in Sivolvia suffered significant casualties during this time, seriously curtailing their activities, and looking a few months into the future, the spring offensives launched by the marines will have similar effects in Algolia.

What will remain to be seen, however, is what impact the brutality of the marine occupation will have on revolutionary morale, and the sentiment of the rest of the western population. In the past, we have seen Imperial crackdowns lead only to stiffened resolve. Why do Grand Admiral Bogdanov and Marine Commandant Torleif Kazlou expect it will be any different this time?

[Guanacasteca]

Tibás, Southern Province – 02/10/2002

“Ladies and gentlemen, mission completed!” Screamed one person from through the walkie talkie, then he continued saying “The bastards from the North have been kicked out from the government; we are free once again!” Those words were also replied through the main TV and radio channels of the Republic, although, reactions were different, and dependant on where you decided to look at it. The North was divided, as there were some celebrations in the far north of Guanacasteca, the zones around Esteli were dead silent while, the South, was living a carnival of its own kind throughout the entire region.

Activities in Tibás, the seat of the Southern Province Parliament to commemorate the effort, business in Heredia and Alajuela celebrating by letting their workers go to home earlier and get drunk, people from Atenas honking their cars madly while waving flags of the Republic. The coup, and then assassination of the previous government was a successful operation on how to overthrow a tyrant and his entourage swiftly and without a lot of blood spilled on the floor. Killed with acid, their deaths were fast and didn’t leave any traces of their dirty past, not even a single particle of their bodies nor chromosomes of what was their DNA, corruption, murdering and misery.

Pavola was having another day, Wednesday as they call it, and Guanacasteca was having it too, being the 1093rd coup in its history, something that doesn’t knows the word stability on it, and the Southerners were trying to, finally implement what they have been trying to do for 200 years. The Progressive Plan, as they have called it, has a series of plans and reforms that might help the República Guanacasteca be something decent, perhaps not the next big thing but, at least, something that can stand by its own in the region.

The new head of the government, David Alpízar altogether with Sandra Cascante (his spouse) and Carlos Figueres were planning the first steps to put the agenda in the works. “We all know what’s the first step we must take, it is not subjected to any kind of discussion.” Said Alpízar, then Figueres and some other people in the room said “Of course, we must get rid of those gorillas” The gorillas was, of course, a derogatory term against the military. Guanacasteca has suffered a lot of instability due to the power that the army has enjoyed through the time, a power often considered vulgar and obscene as it was used to justify any kind of abuses and mistreatment against Guanacastecans.

The military has been, for long, so powerful yet hated by millions. Corruption, big business, drug smuggling, counterfeit, and systematic violation of human rights across the country, the first big step is obvious for those who know the history, to kill the main root of misery of the nation. The decision was taken already, and the military could react in two ways, in a violent one or just faking out peace for a moment, before demobilisation. Alpízar then said, “We will have a significant problem if we don’t hit them and then dissolve, as they could use those weapons against us.” Then, Figueres and David Olsen, a collaborationist with the government decided to ask for a brainstorming session, then people wrote in a board some ideas for the plan of neutralising the army. “Hiring mercenaries, causing havoc, corrupting them from inside and made them destroy their arsenal, put their main leaders in jail, force them to engage in a suicidal war, etc.”

Those ideas ranged from good to unthinkable ones that could even made any force think about erasing the Republic from the Rushmori map forever. Then, Alpízar read the board, grabbed ideas, and made some gestures while he was thinking, he replied “What about hiring mercenaries and corrupting some of them to destroy those gorillas from inside?” Figueres and Olsen nodded, Olsen then added, “It will be a good idea to destroy them from within, so count with me to contact mercenaries from abroad, then make a list of corrupt officers and give them some money to destroy arsenal.” Figueres replied “They’re corrupt yet they aren’t intelligent, so they won’t notice that we will destroy them from inside.” The people present in the meeting were laughing and took some glasses of wine while cheering.

As they were celebrating, they didn’t notice that the military was already moving some of their pieces to attack the new government, as they were aware that the Southerners are pretending to erase their institution from the Guanacastecan history for ever. Their motto has always been “The Army Will Live as Long as the Republic Does”, said doctrine wasn’t up for negotiation, that’s why some troopers started to regain controls of the barracks, officers were giving instructions to remain alert as thing could “get uglier for the nation as we try to save it” said some random officer when giving a reason to Fernando, a Lieutenant that enrolled five years ago and has risen through the ranks fast.

Fernando was giving instructions at the barracks of San Carlos, a village located close to Tibás “The Nation is under attack, our very institution could be subject of scrutiny in this moment. Remember our motto, we must keep this going if the Republic lives; the Motherland needs you all, desperately, listen to her call and act as fast as possible to not let it die. The corrupt elite is now trying to erase our institutions through acts and signatures, we must stand and defend our history, values, and traditions.”

The officers were screaming “We will defend the motherland, no matter what, we will fight until the end to keep the Army marching on!” A peloton of soldiers walked through the barracks gathering ammunition, weapons, and food rations in case of need. They didn’t knew if they would be deployed soon or if they would remain in place to defend it and the arsenal stored on it; it was sheer uncertainty.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

General Election Background

Part 2
The size of an “average” Parliamentary constituency in Baker Park was previously around 291,000, yet the number doesn't tell the real story on a state by state basis. Districts were often determined by a particular number per county with the largest metro areas assigned a larger share than outlying rural areas.

The change to a assignment based on a state's population share has lowered the number by about 60,000 residents per “average” district, to approximately 229,000; the final determination of how many seats each state received was actually adjusted slightly from the raw numbers, as BP State gave up three additional seats they were entitled to, which allowed the numbers allotted to Midalia, St Leon and Lynchana mentioned in Part 1 to be possible.

As a party that has held legislative power in the Commonwealth for over half of the nation's history the Federalists are an extreme example of multi-party cooperation with the official Opposition, often passing up opportunities to strengthen its own control in favor of compromises that are better for the nation's interests.
It was the party that actively solicited women to become involved in politics in the 1930's & 40's which drove many of the domestic social policies of the party to the forefront; the tying together of public works infrastructure development with kitchen table issues was the message that became difficult for other parties to confront from a political policy angle.

As the ink has dried on the final map agreement that passed the Assembly by a 163-5 vote ahead of the passage of the General Election Act, the prediction apparatus of the political media has spent much time and energy on attempting to model how the election will play out.

The uncertainty about the leadership of the three largest parties has created an intangible element that makes past voting trends extrapolated into a new district boundaries unreliable at the moment; when Head of State Timothy Wentworth dissolved* the 31st Parliament on September 16, Allan Arnold, the Leader of the Opposition and leader of the LTA had already announced he would not stand again, meaning the party will be seeking a new Parliamentary Leader at the LTA Annual Meeting which will take place in Coolville; his Deputy, Conservative leader Michael Fogarty was not assured he would even be leader ahead of the Conservative General Conference in Oceana; and Prime Minister Rebecca Schoenlien had not announced whether she will definitively stand for a third term ahead of the Federalist Party Conference in Alton.

Only once in history has there been a General Election where the three major parties fielded newly elected leaders, the November 1997 race where Christopher Stevens took over from Michael Templeton as PM.
That same vote saw a change in a longtime LTA stronghold district Coolville North, where 29 year old Rebecca Schoenlien won in a 9 point swing.

Taking into consideration strong districts being split in half and remaining with the party that currently holds it; marginal districts redistributed among a shift with voters switching into new constituencies; and competitive races that will still be competitive, a breakout of votes along a similar margin as the current makeup of the Assembly (55-45%) would see the Federalists have a 121-105 majority, and hold a majority down to just a 37.5% pickup of new seats.

The Party Conference reports will be Part 3.

*the terms dissolution and prorogation are used interchangeably in normal usage, but legally in Baker Park they are two distinct endings to a Parliament; the former is the expiration of the 5 year term where certain ceremonial elements are included, while the latter is an early termination based on advice of the Prime Minister and is short & to the point.
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BPNT off to fast start despite early hiccup
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth National Team have carried over their form in the leadup into the opening weeks of World Cup Qualifying for the Finals to be hosted by Electrum & Vilita.

A third place finish at Eagles Cup 14, followed by a sweep of Drawkland and Squornshelan Remnant States in a tri-tourney in New Gesem, with an additional 3-3 friendly in Banija had the squad optimistic heading into the opening doubleheader of the tournament; Hamilton City Stadium hosted the National Team for the fourth time as Cheetahs & reptiles Coalison visited, with the Bees coming away with a 1-0 win that could've been more decisive looking on paper; Amy Knight was a 2nd half sub at the ground where she plays her domestic soccer, as was longtime defensive stalwart Alan Wiseman who made a late cameo in what is certainly his last appearance in the Black & Gold going back to the SWC 5 Championship side, while Hayley Gibson got the only tally required to help BP to an opening day win.

The Bees were ambushed in their away opener in Delte, falling 5-3 to spoil the celebration of Julia Edmond's 50th Cap, despite goals from Luke Olivera, Alicia Craig and Ben Moorman off the bench. Although it was a disappointing loss of three points Manager Jen Prescott remained bullish with fixtures ahead of the NT that would present a chance to redeem an off day, as it was just the fourth loss in 24 matches since AOCAF 67.

Calanian neighbors The Jovannic were the guests at Carrollton in Coolville for matchday 3, the venue selected for its close proximity as a benefit to the travelling supporters, who occupied every seat in the Gabbard End stand.
Nicole D'Amico opened the scoring, with Ayana West doubling the advantage just five minutes into the second half, her 47th international goal that puts her third on the all time scoring list; Kelvin Buxton added a third while Jovan Ilohil spoiled the clean sheet with a 79th minute strike to close out the scoring.

Sajnur hosted Baker Park at the National Stadium in Javorsar for matchday 4, the seventh meeting between the nations with the Bees leading the series 3-2 with one draw.
Freddie Altman was captain on the day in recognition of his 50th appearance, after coming off the bench in Coolville; the forward trio of Karrie Price (2 goal), Chandra Mack, and Serena McDavid (1) dominated the match, with Christa Vuckovic also adding a marker, and Paige Eichorn and Amy Reynolds--in place of her Clayton City counterpart Altman--tallying insurance goals to finish off the 6-2 victory.

The National Team's 500th all time victory in the 923rd match going back to 1934 moved BP into second spot in the Group 7 table just a point behind Farfadillis.

Sarzonia will be the next opponent as the Stars and Bees resume their intra-regional rivalry at Rogers Stadium with the visitors only two points behind with a match in hand. BP will then travel to Damukuni which currently sit at the foot of the table with just a single point to their credit. The team then will have a bye on matchday 7 before hosting StrayRoos at the Newport City Stadium.

Lineup vs Sarzonia (MD5)

Callaway; Allen, Onikambe (C), Jon Schulman; Ryan, C Logan, Vetter, Shanahan; Baum; Daniel Pryor, Craig
bench: McCormack, S Knight, Edmonds, Park, Wiley, Buxton, Vuckovic, Garvey, Harris

Lineup vs Dakumuni (MD6)

McCormack; S Kight, Edmonds, Schulman; Park, Wiley, Buxton (C). Shanahan; Vuckovic; Garvey, Harris
bench: Callaway, Allen, Onikambe, Ryan, C Logan, Vetter, Baum, Pryor, Craig