Stupid Crap Teachers Told You

[Jingoist Hippostan]

In our defense, we'd probably say less stupid stuff if we weren't busy being poor and miserable.

Teachers are hardly the poorest profession.

I don't believe I said teaching was the poorest profession.

They're mostly pretty miserable, though. I haven't met one teacher that has said "I got my bills all paid, and I'm taking my vacation days this week!" Actually, I have only seen one or two teachers who sincerely SMILE

Awe you know why? Because schools are prisons and teachers feel the effects of it too. No human should have to be treated like the US school system tends to treat most children and teachers.

There are schools that are the exception but most are just very unhappy places to be.

The teachers are jailers, sorry. 90% of teachers will enforce stupid and pointless rules because they're rules. That doesn't qualify one for sympathy.

Also people care what Texas teaches in its schools because Texas' vast size means that most textbooks are made to conform to Texas education standards.

[Dyakovo]

Oh, and I almost forgot; this was what was at the end of our birth control lecture:

Abstinence is the only 100% birth control method.

That's not stupid...

The only way to be 100% certain of not becoming pregnant/causing a pregnancy is to not have sex.

[Tekania]

Oh, and I almost forgot; this was what was at the end of our birth control lecture:

Abstinence is the only 100% birth control method.

That's not stupid...

The only way to be 100% certain of not becoming pregnant/causing a pregnancy is to not have sex.

Well, not ABSOLUTELY certain...



There are effective programs however...

[Cabra West]

I hear this claim all the time. When I actually bother to ask what Judeo-Christian principles America was founded on, I get nothing but dead silence.

It's a bit like that claim that Western legal systems are based on the 10 comandments.
On closer inspection, you can't fail to notice that only 2 of them are actual laws (and happen to be actual laws in absolutely every other country on the entire planet as well), whereas the rest of them are very, very difficulty to find indeed. If you're generous, you can construe the "no false witness" one to be the basis of laws against perjury, but that is really were it ends for the most part.

[Jingoist Hippostan]

Oh, oh. Here's one. Not a teacher, but still impressively dumb. We had a banker come in to talk to us about credit scores in economics class. Here's our first conversation:

Me: How do they calculate your credit score?
Him: They do some calculations.

OH, REALLY? SHIT, I HAD NO IDEA. Seriously, he expected no one to notice he was making decisions that could make or break someone's life based on a number he didn't know the real origin of.

And here's our second conversation:

Me: Why do you lend at higher interest rates to people with low credit scores? They already have a history of not paying loans back, wouldn't making them pay even more make them even less likely to pay it back?
Him: Well, you see, we charge higher interest rates because it's a riskier investment, and also because not as many people are willing to lend to them due to their low credit score.
Me: Oh, so you're taking advantage of people in a bad situation?
Him: No, because...(stops talking, calls on someone else. Doesn't call on me again.)

Seriously, if you're going to do it at least admit it.

[Cabra West]

Not actually a teacher, but a pro bono lecturer doing a course on Léann Dúchais, or Heritage Studies, when I spent a year abroad in Ireland. He insisted that the image of a dragon in Celtic mythology and others was because of some sort of genetic memory, passed on from the time of dinosaurs. Apparently the sight of dinosaurs was so awe-inducing that our rodent-like ancestors actually passed on the memory genetically, all the way down to mankind.

He was a little loopy, this lecturer...

Well, there is the theory that fossilied dino bones used to be mistaken for dragon bones.... apparently, there's some ancient Greek text referring to such bones being found.

[Jingoist Hippostan]

Not actually a teacher, but a pro bono lecturer doing a course on Léann Dúchais, or Heritage Studies, when I spent a year abroad in Ireland. He insisted that the image of a dragon in Celtic mythology and others was because of some sort of genetic memory, passed on from the time of dinosaurs. Apparently the sight of dinosaurs was so awe-inducing that our rodent-like ancestors actually passed on the memory genetically, all the way down to mankind.

He was a little loopy, this lecturer...

Well, there is the theory that fossilied dino bones used to be mistaken for dragon bones.... apparently, there's some ancient Greek text referring to such bones being found.

Yeah, but that theory makes a lot more sense than "ancestral memory."

[The Araucania]

the teachers are crap

[Cabra West]

Not actually a teacher, but a pro bono lecturer doing a course on Léann Dúchais, or Heritage Studies, when I spent a year abroad in Ireland. He insisted that the image of a dragon in Celtic mythology and others was because of some sort of genetic memory, passed on from the time of dinosaurs. Apparently the sight of dinosaurs was so awe-inducing that our rodent-like ancestors actually passed on the memory genetically, all the way down to mankind.

He was a little loopy, this lecturer...

Well, there is the theory that fossilied dino bones used to be mistaken for dragon bones.... apparently, there's some ancient Greek text referring to such bones being found.

Yeah, but that theory makes a lot more sense than "ancestral memory."

True, but I found that a lot of people who spent much of their time deeply involved in ancient mythology can get a bit loopy...

[Farnhamia]

Not actually a teacher, but a pro bono lecturer doing a course on Léann Dúchais, or Heritage Studies, when I spent a year abroad in Ireland. He insisted that the image of a dragon in Celtic mythology and others was because of some sort of genetic memory, passed on from the time of dinosaurs. Apparently the sight of dinosaurs was so awe-inducing that our rodent-like ancestors actually passed on the memory genetically, all the way down to mankind.

He was a little loopy, this lecturer...

Well, there is the theory that fossilied dino bones used to be mistaken for dragon bones.... apparently, there's some ancient Greek text referring to such bones being found.

Yeah, but that theory makes a lot more sense than "ancestral memory."

It does. There's an interesting book by Adrienne Mayor, The First Fossil Hunters, that discusses how fossils were represented in the Ancient World. Most of what would have been found in Greece and Anatolia would be more Cenozoic, not Mesozoic, that is, mammals not dinosaurs. The cyclops, for instance, could have come from an ancient elephant or mammoth skull, where the hole for the nostril looks like a single huge eye.

[The Araucania]

My Advanced Placement Junior English teacher was racist and used the N word all the time. She was also drunk all day.

N word??? nigger!!

if you're so politically you will end up speaking with euphemisms all day

[Dyakovo]

That's not stupid...

The only way to be 100% certain of not becoming pregnant/causing a pregnancy is to not have sex.

Well, not ABSOLUTELY certain...

When someone can prove to me that that actually happened I'll accept it as an argument against the efficiency of abstinence.

[Nobel Hobos]

In high school, my Advanced Placement US Government teacher told me that the United States was a Christian nation. When I pointed out that many of the founding fathers were atheists or deists, she told me that Deism was a sect of Christianity.

So, share the stupid shit you've been told by teachers over your life.

I had a really rotten Geography teacher in HS. Which is a shame, because it's a good subject.

Anyway, it goes like this. I took a subject called "Asian social studies". My geography teacher was outright racist, clearly had no interest in the subject herself, read from the textbook and put up overheads that she plainly had never seen before. Perhaps she could teach Geography in some other context, but she didn't give a wet fart about the subject of my course and it was obvious to every student in the class. I still have trouble reading Asian history or current affairs, because of the dismissive and ignorant attitude she modelled for me.

I am SO tempted to name that teacher, and name the school and the year that she taught. She was really that bad.

The point at which the class switched from filling out "worksheets" designed for children five years younger, to doing whatever the hell they wanted (I for instance read Asimov novels in class) was the day when one one of my comrades stood up and directly challenged the teacher on her bias and her ignorance. This student asked: "would you teach your own child like you teach us ?" She said a lot more besides, but that was the punchline.

And the reply from the teacher, not even bothering to stand, was: "I'm not sending my children to a school like this. My children will go to a private school, where they will get a good education."

I know that sounds like a witty come-back, but we knew this teacher pretty well by then. She was serious. She wasn't joking, she genuinely had contempt for us as students, had contempt for the subject, and would have served society better by watching daytime television and sponging off the taxpayer. She should have been sacked that very day.

Oh, I am so tempted to name her.

(note for young players: if you mean to challenge the teacher, stand. Stay behind you desk, don't gesture or make exaggerated expressions. Stand, as one who has the floor, and when you have put your point, sit back down without being told.)

[EvilDarkMagicians]

My Citizenship teacher told us that the British Empire lasted for over two thousand years.

[Nobel Hobos]

My Citizenship teacher told us that the British Empire lasted for over two thousand years.

Could be true. Those British bastards have been oppressing Free Cornwall for a long long time.

[East Fancainia]

My History teacher said that all people in Vietnam are short, and look the same.... .....
She also said Hitler was part of the German Army(this isn't real stupidity it's just she didn't know he was in the Bavarian Regiment...)
She said that JFK was killed by Shirhan Shirhan.... ....
And his brother was killed by Ruby.... .....
Lastly(well sortta) she told us Ho Chi Minh was the leader of South Korea.....Uber .......

[Hydesland]

I hear this claim all the time. When I actually bother to ask what Judeo-Christian principles America was founded on, I get nothing but dead silence.

You could argue that much of the US growth was strongly based on the 'protestant work ethic'. Further, it is judeo-Christian in the sense that European society was heavily moulded by Judeo-Christian culture, and the US was initially an offshoot of that culture. If you want to get really rigorous, many scholars find that even subtle differences in outlook (e.g.. transitioning from a 'creator God' to a polytheistic Hindu type belief) can affect moral foundations. For instance if you compare native Americans' approach to treatment of nature and animals and contrast that with westerners, where their approach is derived from the 'man over nature' idea emphasised in the Bible. It would be inaccurate to call it a Christian nation in the sense that many conservatives do, but I find it implausible that US culture was totally separate from Judeo-Christian beliefs even indirectly.

[Nobel Hobos]

My History teacher said that all people in Vietnam are short, and look the same.... .....
She also said Hitler was part of the German Army(this isn't real stupidity it's just she didn't know he was in the Bavarian Regiment...)
She said that JFK was killed by Shirhan Shirhan.... ....
And his brother was killed by Ruby.... .....
Lastly(well sortta) she told us Ho Chi Minh was the leader of South Korea.....Uber .......

Meh, Vietnam, Korea, not so different are they ? I mean, they all look the same right.

Did that teacher have tertiary qualifications in History ? There is a systematic problem with teachers teaching subjects they are not qualified in (lack of teachers, obvious solution is to pay them more to get better teachers, and employ more teachers to cover the range of subjects).

Before asking that question, I suppose I should ask: what year of school did a teacher tell you that ?

[East Fancainia]

My History teacher said that all people in Vietnam are short, and look the same.... .....
She also said Hitler was part of the German Army(this isn't real stupidity it's just she didn't know he was in the Bavarian Regiment...)
She said that JFK was killed by Shirhan Shirhan.... ....
And his brother was killed by Ruby.... .....
Lastly(well sortta) she told us Ho Chi Minh was the leader of South Korea.....Uber .......

Meh, Vietnam, Korea, not so different are they ? I mean, they all look the same right.

Did that teacher have tertiary qualifications in History ? There is a systematic problem with teachers teaching subjects they are not qualified in (lack of teachers, obvious solution is to pay them more to get better teachers, and employ more teachers to cover the range of subjects).

Before asking that question, I suppose I should ask: what year of school did a teacher tell you that ?

I'm not sure if she does, she doesn't know a thing aabout history and she pronounces Emporer Hirohito's name like this: high-row-high-toe

[Nobel Hobos]

I hear this claim all the time. When I actually bother to ask what Judeo-Christian principles America was founded on, I get nothing but dead silence.

You could argue that much of the US growth was strongly based on the 'protestant work ethic'. Further, it is judeo-Christian in the sense that European society was heavily moulded by Judeo-Christian culture, and the US was initially an offshoot of that culture. If you want to get really rigorous, many scholars find that even subtle differences in outlook (e.g.. transitioning from a 'creator God' to a polytheistic Hindu type belief) can affect moral foundations. For instance if you compare native Americans' approach to treatment of nature and animals and contrast that with westerners, where their approach is derived from the 'man over nature' idea emphasised in the Bible. It would be inaccurate to call it a Christian nation in the sense that many conservatives do, but I find it implausible that US culture was totally separate from Judeo-Christian beliefs even indirectly.

Application to teach Scripture: APPROVED !
Application to teach History: please supply transcript of tertiary qualifications.

[Nobel Hobos]

My History teacher said that all people in Vietnam are short, and look the same.... .....
She also said Hitler was part of the German Army(this isn't real stupidity it's just she didn't know he was in the Bavarian Regiment...)
She said that JFK was killed by Shirhan Shirhan.... ....
And his brother was killed by Ruby.... .....
Lastly(well sortta) she told us Ho Chi Minh was the leader of South Korea.....Uber .......

Meh, Vietnam, Korea, not so different are they ? I mean, they all look the same right.

Did that teacher have tertiary qualifications in History ? There is a systematic problem with teachers teaching subjects they are not qualified in (lack of teachers, obvious solution is to pay them more to get better teachers, and employ more teachers to cover the range of subjects).

Before asking that question, I suppose I should ask: what year of school did a teacher tell you that ?

I'm not sure if she does, she doesn't know a thing aabout history and she pronounces Emporer Hirohito's name like this: high-row-high-toe

I don't have any Japanese language, so I can't say if that's right or wrong (well, I could search it, but that's cheating)

This is a year 7-12 teacher you're talking about ?

[Sennai]

Heres one that Everyone has heard from a teacher somepoint in their life.
"The Bell Doesnt Tell you to Go. I do."

i also had an argument with a primary school teacher once over the gorrect way to pronounce Sloth. my way was Slawth and hers was Slowth..man that went on for a while..

the biggest stupid thing was two fold..both from english teachers.

one year my cat died. now this cat had been there my entire life. i go into school and the teachers are all notified. this is the day after and my english teacher gave out a test. one of those written essay ones on "My Favorite Pet." granted she apologised after..

the other was when i went into Higher english. and was told. i hadent done my test to get there..dispite me haveing a printed sheet with my grades on it..
now two weeks before the final exam my teacher comes back to me and says "Im sorry i TURNED THE PAGE on your file and found out you had done it. you can take the higher exam." so i spend two weeks cramming the entire of the course...only to be given out the Intermediate Exam...which wasent what i had studied for...which i had already passed...

[Dyakovo]

one year my cat died. now this cat had been there my entire life. i go into school and the teachers are all notified. this is the day after and my english teacher gave out a test. one of those written essay ones on "My Favorite Pet."

Not catering solely to you is stupid? I'm sorry but I seemed to not have gotten the memo stating that the world revolved around you...

[East Fancainia]

My History teacher said that all people in Vietnam are short, and look the same.... .....
She also said Hitler was part of the German Army(this isn't real stupidity it's just she didn't know he was in the Bavarian Regiment...)
She said that JFK was killed by Shirhan Shirhan.... ....
And his brother was killed by Ruby.... .....
Lastly(well sortta) she told us Ho Chi Minh was the leader of South Korea.....Uber .......

Meh, Vietnam, Korea, not so different are they ? I mean, they all look the same right.

Did that teacher have tertiary qualifications in History ? There is a systematic problem with teachers teaching subjects they are not qualified in (lack of teachers, obvious solution is to pay them more to get better teachers, and employ more teachers to cover the range of subjects).

Before asking that question, I suppose I should ask: what year of school did a teacher tell you that ?

I'm not sure if she does, she doesn't know a thing aabout history and she pronounces Emporer Hirohito's name like this: high-row-high-toe

I don't have any Japanese language, so I can't say if that's right or wrong (well, I could search it, but that's cheating)

This is a year 7-12 teacher you're talking about ?

Hey! I'm in 8th grade hobo!

[Sennai]

i never said she was to cater soley to me. of course she could have said i didnt have to be there when the test was to be taken.