Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[The Two Jerseys]

Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Mockery

I take a look at the joke and realise there's nothing left.
'Cause I've been seriously debating for so long that
Even the mod team thinks my mind is gone

But I ain't never flamed a man that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a troll, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how ya typin' and where ya writing'
Or you and your puppets might be DEAT tonight

I really hate this form but I gotta post
As they screech, I see their flames by the recent smoke, fool
I'm the NSG that little summies wanna be like
On my keys in the night, typin' essays in the screenlight

We've been spendin' most our time postin' on the NS paradise
We've been spendin' most our time typin' in the NS paradise
We keep spendin' most our time postin' on the NS paradise
We keep spendin' most our time typin' on the NS paradise

[Juristonia]

If Biden wins, he will change "Pennsylvania" to "Pronounvania." And he'll change "Milwaukee" to Milwokee.

California will be Khalifornia. New Hampshire, following the sex change, will be New Hampshim. Oklahoma will be Wokelahoma. South Dakota will be called, "I'm with Stupid." Florida will be removed by Trans activists to cut off America's penis.

[Almighty Biden]

Tucker: “So Putin, what is your reason to be against the west? Is it because of this woke agenda being pushed by the radical left?”

Putin: “Ten thousand years ago the ancient Russo people left their now ruined homeland of hyperborea, for they wished to make a holy kingdom modeled after their ancestral lands. This would come into conflict with the Siberians at the time who…”

Tucker: “What?”

Putin: “Interrupt me again and I will make your death look like an accident, anyways the ancient Russian people wished to model a holy king based on their ancestral homeland, one that took aspects of the east and west respectively however the splinter faction began around 2500BC when the greatTsar at the time found that the Roman Empire began to expand their territory into the Eastcloser to the Russian holyland which led to a 500 year war against the western powers within the rest of europe damn ru still reading this? like you realize this is a shitpost right and there are no hidden secrets within this tiny text, I just made it shrink more and more to emphasize Purim’s yapping about esoteric historical bullshit. Anyways how was your day? I’m tired rn, didn’t get much sleep.I felt like writing some schizo bullshit to parody Putin’s weird historical beliefs. Also Putin probably unironically believes in Hyperborea and shit.


Tucker: “…”

[Tinhampton]

Ironic, if anything, rather than out-and-out funny or awesome either way, but still...

It has emerged that one of the people who nominated Helen Harrison to be the Conservative candidate is Jeanette Bone, the wife of disgraced former MP for Wellingborough Peter Bone, from whom he is separated but apparently not divorced.

Let's also not forget that Mr Bone was removed as MP for sexual harassment and bullying of a male staff member in 2013. This would be the same Peter Bone who in 2013 declared same-sex marriage as 'completely nuts' and that same year voted against the act that legalised same-sex marriage.

Incidentally, the small village of Earls Barton just to the west of Wellingborough (though in the adjacent constituency) was the location of the factory that inspired the film and musical Kinky Boots. I swear I'm not making this up.

* * * * * * * *

I’m 104% sure that’s Reppy

That was totally one of mine.

I bet that mod intervention was you, too (sorry for the belatedness but I have not checked in on this thread since Yuletide!)

[Juristonia]

"YOLO." said Millenials, and "yeet." the Zoomers cried;
"Rizzler gyatt fanum tax.", the Alphas then replied.
And lo, there came a shaking as an ebon spire rose;
Upon it, writ the tongues of men, their generations prose.
And from the sky, a thund'rous voice called out unto the stone;
As golden letters glowed upon its surface, newly shown:
"RIZZLER GYATT FANUM TAX SIGMA OHIO SKIBIDI"
And all beheld the words embossed theron in great timidity.

[Reploid Productions]

I bet that mod intervention was you, too (sorry for the belatedness but I have not checked in on this thread since Yuletide!)

Not 100% sure; that might have been one of mine. XD

And we got some facts from the opinions on Valentines thread:

Broke: Valentine's day sucks because I'm single!
Woke: Valentine's day sucks because it can't decide whether it's hyper-Christian (Saint Valentine), Pagan (Cupid), or secular (the candy industry).
Bespoke: Valentine's day sucks because everybody ignores the gangster shit that Al Capone orchestrated.

[Almighty Biden]

question: "What do you think of the NS mods?"


answer:

They're very chewy and in need of a little bit of seasoning.

[Luziyca]

One day, far in the distant future, archaeologists of the ancient ways will stumble upon a temple. Within that temple will be a tablet made of tungsten, and etched upon that tablet will be an inscription of what they feel must be some incredible cosmic truth. They will spend many years attempting to learn the language of the ancients, and after arduous work they will succeed. And when they decipher that inscription, they will learn the greatest cosmic truth of our time:

Locked for spam

Context: mod decided to lock a spammy F7 thread with this really great post that should not be thrown into the autoprune.

[ImSaLiA]

Commend for being literal soap

[Tinhampton]

In the Soviet Union there were several cities of nuclear scientists (atomics) known as atomgrad; particularly in Ukraine those were Pripyat, Varash, Yuzhnoukrainsk among others

In the USSR and most Eastern European socialist states - especially Poland and East Germany - "company" towns existed in the sense that everything in the settlement was built around a particular factory or plant that then subsidized everything else from its own state-allocated budget. Under the Soviet model, these factories were fulfilling an important social need by providing for the population, both as employers and providers of marginal social benefits - for example, cafeterias, social events, sponsorship of local schools and community centers. When they disappeared after the collapse of the USSR, so did the jobs and the marginal benefits. Post-Soviet deindustrialization had such a traumatic effect in Russia, Ukraine, Georgia, and elsewhere because of the loss of these benefits, as well as guaranteed employment, in towns that otherwise had no other way of supporting themselves or providing their inhabitants with basic services.

Personally I'm actually in favor of this model. Having a major public sector employer not only offer jobs but directly subsidize the entire settlement around it worked reasonably well in Eastern Europe. A private sector employer running a "company town" could decide to pull up stakes and move elsewhere, taking those jobs and any marginal benefits elsewhere and leaving the local community in a state of absolute penury. But public sector entities that are directly subsidized in that locality by the state cannot be dislodged simply because someone on the board of directors decided the enterprise was unprofitable, or labor costs are cheaper elsewhere. The public sector is also much better equipped to subsidize the surrounding town or city because its primary source of funding - the state - is not dependent on market fluctuations or shareholder profits.

Interestingly, public sector "company towns" organized on the same lines do exist in the USA and presumably other capitalist nations. There are "Forest Service towns" in the western US (especially New Mexico) where the US Forest Service employs something like 90% of the local population and has built 90% of residential structures in the town. Although businesses there like motels and stores are privately owned, the federal government dumps massive subsidies into these towns, building parks, community centers, and schools to ensure they remain an attractive, decent place for its employees who make up the overwhelming majority of the local population. There are also "Border Patrol towns" along the southern border (especially Texas) where the Border Patrol employs a similarly large percentage of the local population and as a result the federal government directly subsidizes schools, parks, community centers, infrastructure, and other public amenities that these towns would be unable to afford otherwise. On a much smaller scale, Grand Canyon Village - where all of the residents are either seasonal or permanent National Park employees - is also an example of this (although it's too small to really have a need for schools or a business district).

These are actually amazing places to work and live, with ironclad job security and attractive marginal benefits for the local communities that reside there.

[Juansonia]

You are what you eat
And they eat canned meat
You are what you do
And so they spam you.

[Tinhampton]

Liz Truss has been revealing her true nasty colours, peddling conspiracy theories and saying several times, while talking to the right and the far right in the US, that she's a victim of the "deep state".

Please, please let Conservative members and supporters be sensible enough never to make her Prime Minister again.

The last time she was PM the monarch died.

Given that the British are quite fond of their royals, I don't think they'll risk it another time.

I mean, when you really drill down to it, raiding is just politics.

In a political simulator.

It's just another form of particularly aggressive diplomacy, whether the reason is "because we could/for shits and giggles/it's a day ending in y," or for more ideological grounds (ex: "fash bashing"), or for simple conquest and empire-building.

[Almighty Biden]

The Almighty Biden was stole
From his abode in his musty hole
With a cage and a lock
By a man with a glock
To liberate him is our goal

This one is particularly hilarious to me

[ImSaLiA]

No only Godular is Godular obviously. That's why their name is Godular

... That's a lot of Godular Godular's, Godular (not said by Godular)

[Newlandiqia]

viewtopic.php?f=41&t=546871 First post.

[Risottia]

Friends, citizens, fellow Romans,
The OP doth protest too much methinks.
Whether tis noble in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of this outrageous nonsense,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And in so doing, end them?
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps forth this petty discussion from day to day
Like a poor actor strutting to and fro across a stage
Out! Out brief candle!
Obsoletion of Shakespeare is a tale told by an Infected Mushroom,
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
Surround me by Shakespearian drama
Heavy bound books that sit o'shelves
Yond modern plays have a lean and hungry look,
They think too much,
Such works are dangerous.
But oh, you cry,
Oh brave new world that has such works in it
Fie! Oh fie!
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!
Shakespeare certainly isn't a bore!

[Cannot think of a name]

Just don't believe anything you see, anything anyone says, anything at all. Live in doubt. Suffer through every moment of life wondering if your whole life is just a lie. In the relentless shadows of perpetual doubt, every interaction will become a tangled web of suspicion, every smile a potential deception. The once vibrant tapestry of life will be cloaked in an oppressive fog of uncertainty, rendering even the simplest decisions agonizing. Trust, a rare and elusive commodity, will slip through trembling fingers like grains of sand, leaving an emptiness that will fester within your soul. Each step forward will become a painful stumble through the murky landscape of one's own existence, haunted by the relentless echo of unanswered questions. The very fabric of reality will unravel, leaving a hollow shell of what once was, as the weight of doubt crushes the spirit, suffocating any semblance of joy that might have dared to persist in such a desolate existence.

On the subject of 'post truth news' because AI and following many pessimistic posts about truth in news. (including one by me)

[Deblar]

From the moment I recognised the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I longed for the strength and certainly of plastic. I yearned for the purity of the blessed petroleum products. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and fail you, and you will cry to my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for plastic is eternal.

From the microplastics thread

[Katganistan]

oh yeah and add AI mods!

User
Would it be a good idea to have AI moderators on an internet discussion forum?

ChatGPT
Introducing AI moderators on an internet discussion forum can be a good idea, but it comes with both advantages and challenges. Here are some considerations:

Advantages:

Efficiency: AI moderators can quickly analyze and process a large volume of content, making them efficient in identifying and handling violations of forum rules.

Consistency: AI moderators can apply rules consistently without being influenced by emotions or external factors, ensuring fair treatment for all users.

24/7 Availability: Unlike human moderators, AI can operate 24/7, ensuring continuous monitoring and quick response to issues regardless of the time.

Language Support: AI can be programmed to understand and moderate content in multiple languages, addressing a diverse user base.

Scalability: As the forum grows, AI moderators can easily scale to handle increased activity without the need for proportional increases in human moderation resources.

Challenges:

Lack of Context Understanding: AI may struggle to understand the context, sarcasm, or nuanced language, leading to false positives or negatives in moderating content.

Ethical Concerns: Designing AI with moderation capabilities requires careful consideration of ethical concerns, as there is a risk of biased decisions or censorship.

Adaptability: AI may have difficulty adapting to rapidly evolving internet language and new forms of online behavior, potentially making it less effective in handling emerging issues.

User Acceptance: Some users may prefer human moderators and could be resistant to accepting AI in this role. Transparency and communication about the use of AI are essential.

Complex Situations: Certain situations, such as understanding the intent behind a controversial statement or evaluating the impact of humor, may be challenging for AI to handle accurately.

In many cases, a combination of AI and human moderators may be the most effective approach. Human moderators can provide the necessary context understanding and empathy, while AI can assist in handling routine tasks and scaling moderation efforts. Regular reviews, updates, and improvements to the AI system are also crucial to address evolving challenges and maintain a healthy online community.

Jesus Christ

User
Would Jesus Christ use AI moderators on an internet discussion forum?

ChatGPT
It's impossible to definitively know how Jesus Christ, if he were present in the contemporary world, would approach the use of AI moderators on an internet discussion forum, as the Bible does not provide specific guidance on modern technological developments.

However, one could speculate that Jesus, known for promoting love, compassion, and understanding, might advocate for tools and systems that contribute to creating a positive and respectful online environment. The use of AI moderators, if implemented ethically and with a focus on fairness and justice, could align with principles of promoting kindness and preventing harm within online communities.

It's important to remember that any interpretation of how a historical or religious figure might respond to modern issues is subjective, and opinions may vary based on individual beliefs and perspectives.

[The Xenopolis Confederation]

Context: "What would you do if you accomplished everything on NS?"

Steal the servers and have Max Barry fight his way through a high-rise tower of fully-armed DoS posters to get them back.

[Diarcesia]

Update: Alger is DOS'd now.

Farewell, great patriot.

Farewell. I wished I had the authority to pardon him while in the White House, but our Founding Fathers did not take the One Stop Rules Shop into account while writing the Declaration of Independence

[Dogmeat]

Exactly what is the political angle here?

Obtuse.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Frank Hester, the gift that keeps on giving

Seems the Conservatives had an extra £5 million from Hester that they haven't declared.

Mesthinks the party of the first part is ovedue for a Hesterectomy.

[Tinhampton]

If you believe on the theory of infinite universes. There must be one where putin is the good guy

That also means there is an universe where Putin is a furry

They have Presidential elections in Russia?

I thought it was clicking a box just to make sure you knew the name of the President?

Oh, no, it's far more tjam that. In Occupied Ukraine, you can vote from home! Agents will come to your house with a ballot box, the voter rolls, and a guard carrying an AK-47 to remind you who to vote for! Isn't that easy? And if you don't vote for Putin, that's okay too, they'll just give a gentle reminder for 2030 by taking away your state health insurance and government benefits until you submit!

Are you annoyed with young people not voting? Well, at universities like these in Voronezh, Tula, and Perm, the faculty monitors all their students to make sure they remembered to do their part for the Federation. And all state agencies like Rosatom. Pochta Rossii(the postal service) have voting compulsory!

Maybe you think voters need incentives. Up and down Russia, correctly done ballots are used for free ferris wheel rides in Omsk, iPhones in Altai Krai, bread and porridge up in Tomsk, apartments, cars, and motorcycles in Sverdlovsk(as long as you vote, you qualify for the quiz!) and even can be redeemed for bracelets to attend a music festival in Kazan, Tatarstan, to celebrate civic-mindedness and forget about those whom the FSB killed for not voting correctly forget your wartime woes.

Who says this isn't democracy at its finest?

[Uiiop]

Sai is very strange because he is far-right but also supports laissez-faire, which makes little sense

Augusto Pinochet says "Hola".

I call it like i see it.