So Some Jehovah's Witnesses Knocked Today

[Tipidemica]

Have you house be dim, make a circle on your carpet with the Blood of a Sacrificed sheep, Put Deep Red scented candles in 5 corners of a star and then get the Cremetated ashed of 7 Unborn Baby fetuses and put them in a line connecting each other to form a Pentagram. After that is set up, get into a Black rope and put a Pentagram in Sheep Blood on the back, afterward you take a knife and carve a Pentagram into your skin. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come back, you let them in and you have coffee around the Pentagram, if they try to throw Holy water onto you, merely just lock the door and throw the head of the Sheep that you slaughtered into the middle. If you want to Summon satan, play a Miley Cyrus Song backwards. If you wish the summon a fleet of Demons to bring onto the next world order, play Revolution 9 Backwards. If you want to just freak out the Jehovah's Witnesses, just start saying Random Words backwards while waving your hands in the air slowly.

[Takaram]

When we were in DC on a trip, a took a pamphlet from a Scientologist and held onto it. The next time Jehovah's Witnesses came around, I grabbed the pamphlet and handed it to them saying "Would you like to learn more about the Evil Lord Xenu?" They walked away with a pretty scared look on their faces.

[Ifreann]

Tell them you're not interested and close the door. Less entertaining than feigning a Satanic ritual or incestuous orgy, but it'd work.

[Dakini]

Tell them you're not interested and close the door. Less entertaining than feigning a Satanic ritual or incestuous orgy, but it'd work.

Usually they'll come back though.

[Kingdom-democracy]

I always tell them that I am Eastern Catholic and firm in my beliefs, and that while I respect their right to come door to door, I do not agree with the theology they espouse. They usually respect that, wish me a good day, and go on to the next house. There's really no need to be rude, supposing they come calling at a decent hour.

^this they are all usually nice some they will just leave and offer you a watch tower they are really respectful of others beliefs and if you tell them you wont ever be interested in joining them they will cross you off their list and wont come back to your house for about 6 months or so. They accually carry around a Nabiorhood door to door list it's kinda like a map I know this cause I know a couple in my small town. Just remember treat them how you'd like to be treated.

[Ifreann]

Tell them you're not interested and close the door. Less entertaining than feigning a Satanic ritual or incestuous orgy, but it'd work.

Usually they'll come back though.

In that case, set up a betting pool on how many polite rejections it'll take before they give up for good. Make some money off their persistence.

[The Corparation]

Thank you, Serrland, for the only non-irreverent response thus far. If I wasn't a young 20-something in the midst of a quarter-life crisis (and therefore unsure of what exactly I believe - I grew up in an evangelical church and I don't consider myself atheist now), I'd probably just go with your suggestion.

The Corporation and Genevaria, you apparently didn't read my entire initial post. I live in an apartment.

IT still applies just send them to the guy you don't like down the hall's apartment.

[Sakurakoku]

Dakini, for at least some of them it's a way of belonging to a group, even if it's a group that's a small minority. (I love anime - I know what it can be like.) The hostility by the rest of the world only drives them deeper into the group.

What worries me is that I have absolutely zero poker face. (Incidentally, I am also listening to "Poker Face".) I'm moving out of my apartment in about a month and a half, so maybe I should just dodge until then.

[The Sun Peoples Empire]

I know this is a stupid question... But what is a JW?

[Ollie Via]

From what i have seen on this thread most of you have a dislike of Jehovah's Witnesses. I really dont see the reason as to attack them when you dont attack people of other religions. If you dont want to talk with them about there beliefs that fine. But dont talk bad about them just because of what they believe. Thats ruder than not opening up your door.

[Tipidemica]

Ok, to be serious, the best way to Mess with Jehovah's Witnesses is to have the door once they knock on it slowly open and there is no one at the door, the will either walk in or walk away. If they walk in let them get inward a little more and Jump out Screaming. They will shit there pants.

[Promisance]

Fortunately for me (I can't debate for shit), I wasn't making any noise, so I pretended not to be home and they left for the next door (I observed this through the peephole to my apartment door).

That said, what's a good way in dealing with them if they come around later?

Maybe just open the door, give them a couple minutes to say their spiel, and say "No thanks," and close the door?

[Dakini]

Usually they'll come back though.

In that case, set up a betting pool on how many polite rejections it'll take before they give up for good. Make some money off their persistence.

Heh. However, if you live alone you'll have difficulty getting other people to go in on this sort of thing with you.

One of my friends in high school managed to get them to go away in two visits while being relatively polite. The first time she just told them she was a satanist (she actually was) and not interested in their religion. The second time, she had been chopping some veggies in the kitchen when they showed up and brought the knife with her to the door. They asked her if they could talk to her about her religion and she told them they were interrupting a sacrifice, but they'd be welcome to come back another time. They declined her offer.

[New Kilballyowen]

I try to convert them to Catholicism. Barring that, if you have a window right by the door, putting a picture of the Pope in the window seems to do the trick.

[Sakurakoku]

And to the OP(so i am not hijacking), do you want a serious theological answer to make them go away?

I'd appreciate it, though I'm always worried that they might have a counter to it (I couldn't tell what level JW's they were).

I know this is a stupid question... But what is a JW?

JW - Jehovah's Witnesses. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses

Maybe just open the door, give them a couple minutes to say their spiel, and say "No thanks," and close the door?

I've never had that kind of social confidence, unfortunately.

[Kingdom-democracy]

I know this is a stupid question... But what is a JW?

They are a religious group who studies the same bible that the cathlics have they are one of the few religions where people from the group knocks on your door like a door to door sales men.

[Dakini]

Dakini, for at least some of them it's a way of belonging to a group, even if it's a group that's a small minority. (I love anime - I know what it can be like.) The hostility by the rest of the world only drives them deeper into the group.

What worries me is that I have absolutely zero poker face. (Incidentally, I am also listening to "Poker Face".) I'm moving out of my apartment in about a month and a half, so maybe I should just dodge until then.

I'm not in favour of being rude to them and I'm usually not (at least not intentionally*), but I'm also not in favour of the idea behind harassing people at their homes and proselytizing, sometimes before they've even had their breakfast. I think that this sort of behaviour is actually pretty rude. Especially if their offers are politely declined each time and they continue to return.


*there was one time when I got a JW girl in my class to yell "I don't believe in evolution!" in my biology class because I asked her (during a presentation on comparative anatomy) "wouldn't it be cool to have opposable big toes?"

[Alevuss]

Fortunately for me (I can't debate for shit), I wasn't making any noise, so I pretended not to be home and they left for the next door (I observed this through the peephole to my apartment door).

That said, what's a good way in dealing with them if they come around later?

Tell them you're in the middle of writing a the holy scriptures for some religion of your creation that no normal human would ever dare joining.

I usually hide behind my couch or run in the bathroom where no one can see me... and I wait.

[Zilam]

And to the OP(so i am not hijacking), do you want a serious theological answer to make them go away?

I'd appreciate it, though I'm always worried that they might have a counter to it (I couldn't tell what level JW's they were).

Ask them to show you where Jesus is the angel Michael(It was in their watchtower Magazine/booklet. They won't be able to find it. This is one of there most cherished beliefs. They might point to some very obscure verses about Michael, but it never mentions Jesus. Keep pounding that point. And then say that if Jesus was the angel Michael, why did he allow men to fall and worship him in his ministry? Revelation shows that when St John fell before an angel in his vision, the angel said "Don't worship me, for I am created as you! Worship God only!" So if angels refuse worship, then Jesus was a very bad angel.

[The Sun Peoples Empire]

And to the OP(so i am not hijacking), do you want a serious theological answer to make them go away?

I'd appreciate it, though I'm always worried that they might have a counter to it (I couldn't tell what level JW's they were).

I know this is a stupid question... But what is a JW?

JW - Jehovah's Witnesses. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses

Maybe just open the door, give them a couple minutes to say their spiel, and say "No thanks," and close the door?

I've never had that kind of social confidence, unfortunately.

Thanks. To Sakurakoku

[Antilon]

Offer them to talk over a few beers.

[Sakurakoku]

Ask them to show you where Jesus is the angel Michael(It was in their watchtower Magazine/booklet. They won't be able to find it. This is one of there most cherished beliefs. They might point to some very obscure verses about Michael, but it never mentions Jesus. Keep pounding that point. And then say that if Jesus was the angel Michael, why did he allow men to fall and worship him in his ministry? Revelation shows that when St John fell before an angel in his vision, the angel said "Don't worship me, for I am created as you! Worship God only!" So if angels refuse worship, then Jesus was a very bad angel.

Thanks for the tip. I'll have to work on my debate skills, then. Like, a lot.

[Ashmoria]

Fortunately for me (I can't debate for shit), I wasn't making any noise, so I pretended not to be home and they left for the next door (I observed this through the peephole to my apartment door).

That said, what's a good way in dealing with them if they come around later?

answer the door and say you arent interested the way any rational adult would do.

[French Union]

Mock their beliefs, not only may it entertain you but it should make them rethink visiting you in the future.

[Wamitoria]

Play loud satanic music and wear a devil costume.