World Cup 60: RP Thread

[Milchama]

"We're almost there!"

"One game away!"

"I can't believe it!"

"So close, so close, so close"

"I told you there was a 50s curse"

"We're going to do it"

"Yeah it's going to be ours baby"

"We're finally going to be able to qualify"

*smack*

"Don't say that word"

"Which one"

"It starts with a q"

"Why?"

"Because it's bad luck"

"Really?"

"Yes, we think we can get to the World Cup but we don't want to say it so that we jinx the Warriors"

"Yeah, they're strong, fast, etc. and they are people who are good at what they do"

"We can do it!"

"Wooo!"

"But we still can't say what it is!"

"Not at all!"

"Woo!"

"So who do we play again?"

"Legalese"

"Oh they're good"

"Yeah but they're not as good as us"

"They didn't make the Top 32 last cup!"

"Not at all"

"So we can win"

"Nay, we should win"

"After all we're Milchama two time World Cup finalist, multiple time top 10 team, we are one of the best in the world"

"And we are better than Legalese"

"So we will win"

"Yes we will win"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

"Heeyah!"

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

The Archregimancy - Holy Empire match had been played under closed doors at one of the most isolated monasteries in the entire monastic republic - the extraordinary, half-ruined St. Saba's in the Desert.

Accessible only by a dangerous journey from camel, days from just about anywhere, only a protest from the Babbage Islands - tartly co-signed by the Patriarch of the Islanders' Orthodox Church - had led the Monastic and Holy Empire Football Associations to grudgingly agree to a neutral third party referee.

And only then on the condition it was a good Orthodox lad from New Montreal States, personally vouched for by their Patriarch - which the World Cup 60 hosts agreed to with about as much grace as they could have been expected to muster given the extent to which both the MFA and HEFA were pushing the rules.

Had anyone from Michael VII actually been allowed to watch the 'match' - and had either Association involved consented to its filming - they might well have reached the conclusion that the fix was in; that the two Dreamed Realm teams had simply agreed that the highest-ranking of the two squads, the team with the best chance of getting through the playoffs, would be allowed to get through.

Certainly 3-2 sounds like a respectable score, the sort of score where two experienced teams had gone it hammer and tongs, the sort of score that suggests an open free-flowing match, the sort of score that suggests a thrilling encounter.

Rumour has it, though, that the so-called 'match' consisted of little more than a philosophical discussion between the monks and Agneta Rautavaara about the terrible visions she'd been having since being transferred to her brain case, wherein she kept seeing Our Lord and Saviour consuming the flesh of the companions who'd perished in the same accident that had so terribly wounded her.

The resulting theological discussion about what Catholics call transubstantiation, but which has never been narrowly theologically defined within Orthodoxy, except in the acceptance of the transformation of the bread and wine, was - so the same rumour has it - one of the most profound and insightful debates ever to take place around a WCC-sanctioned event. Everyone present expressed their amazement of the wisdom and perspicacity of the learned monks.

But whether a football match genuinely took place, few can say - and those that can say aren't talking.

And the referee? That good Orthodox boy from New Montreal States who filed a full match report back with the hosts recording the detail of what sounds, superficially, to have been a cracking match?

He never left the Archregimancy. Fr. John the Inscrutable is enjoying his new life at St. Saba's; he finds the monastic life congenial.

And he certainly has no plans to leave the Archregimancy.

A scandal?

It's only a scandal if anyone else knows.

And the State Bureau of Imperial Security will damn well make sure that no one ever finds out.

[Cassadaigua]

Seize your opportunity,
by Kacie Kennedy

Let me start by saying how honored I am to have a chance to write to all of our great fans out there. It’s really quite a privilege, and I thank Breanna for giving me the opportunity to do so. You can say that it s a fitting parallel, after all, that Breanna takes this blog off and gives me this chance, because it was like that on the field against West Angola, in front of enemy fans who were vocal in their support for their team. A lot of them probably thought we were prime for the upset, for the reasons that Breanna covered in her pre-game blog. A second or even third string line up for Cassadaigua, on the road, playing in a game that meant nothing to them, against a team that desperately needed a win. We know now that if they did win, West Angola would have qualified for the playoff pods that the second places teams are going to.

But, in fact, it meant a lot to us, on individual levels. When, for example, would Emily Lachance know that she would start in qualifying again? Sure, it could happen, but when you are third string keeper, many people will assume you are just on the team for training purposes or in case the team is very unfortunate with injuries. She’s 29, so if you do the math, she’s four years older then Zoey Anderson, who’s the second-string keeper. Logic of course then tells us, she’s likely to be behind Zoey unless something happens to “Z”. Emily wanted to have a great game for the country, but she needed to have a great game for herself. You could say that about everyone on the field, although many individual situations vary. Julie McCarthy has started before, and youngsters such as myself are simply hoping that, in time, we’ll have our chance to shine as well. So, this game did mean something, but just not the same meaning that it did for West Angola. Together, we clicked very well, and that should make sense, as much of us practice together when the regular starters are off resting. We have chemistry with one another, and it showed very early in this game, and lasted throughout. Jumping off to the 4-0 lead by halftime certainly deflated the home crowd as we put away their playoff pod thoughts very early and got fans from Stachland and Camwood happy that we did our job. It’s funny that things worked our that neither of them really did their job as they both lost, but that’s not our problem. I scored two goals in the match, which is what made Breanna choose to make me the one who blogged. They came in the 6th and 28th minutes and were the 1st and 3rd goals of the match, sandwiching Lauren Moore’s 22nd minute goal. Didn’t feel as though I did anything particularly special on the plays, but was very happy to see them end up in the net. Valerie Middleton scored a nice goal in the 40th on a header to give us the halftime lead, and by the time Thomas Young scored in the 61st, the crowd’s dream of a playoff pod was over, and if any fans tried to think a comeback was in store, Trista Rodgers ended those thoughts to put us back up by four in the 68th. The final ended up being 5-2 as Emily surrendered a late one that likely wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t gone into a mode of thinking the game was over.

That was my opportunity. I hope there will be others in the future, but from here on out, we’ll be starting at zero in the World Cup with the other 31 teams that will comprise the field. As such, the regular starting eleven will be on the field. I hope and do believe that we as backup players did the job that we were called upon to do, and now Breanna and the rest of the team can get us to Paris and win this World Cup. We’re playing well, but the competition is about to get much stronger.

[Legalese]

The Lobby was packed, Al observed, as he stepped off the elevator. Wearing dark dress pants, matching shoes, and a red polo with the the soccer-ball-and-scales-logo of the Federation over his heart.

Quickly, he learned more about the crowd.

"They're coming! The team's coming!" Came a slightly high-pitched shout from the group.

Immediately, the throng of black and red-clad revelers turned to Al and started cheering, some singing They All Wear Red and Black. He received five pats on the back, two handshakes, three touches, and a full-on kiss from a buxom blonde before he was able to get a word in edgewise.

"Who-who are you guys?" Al asked excitedly.

The seeming ringleader, a tall man who appeared to be in his twenties, with short brown hair and ruddy complexion, shouted back. "We're The Bar" He said, "and we're here to see you guys send us to the World Cup!"

The leader paused. "Um, aren't there supposed to be more of you coming?"

Al laughed, and put on a slightly somber face. "Yeah, you've got the wrong guy. The Fed boss sent me here to represent him. The team left early, sorry to say."

The leader deflated. "Bummer. Really wanted to sing them out. We even came up with some new stuff for tonight. Here, take one."

He handed Al a sheet of paper.

The leader turned back to his fellow supporters. "Well, then. We may have missed the team now, but we won't tonight. Let's go get ready!"

Al smiled, and turned to the leader. "Hey, what's your name? I'll send word to the team about this."

The leader's face brightened as he answered Al, before he motioned to the rest of the group, and they exited the hotel.

Al smiled and watched them go. Confound this behaving thing, he thought.

Then he remembered what Bernie had said before sending him off: "You represent us tonight, do it well."

"I'll be good, boss", Al said to nobody in particular, as he looked at the paper:

The Bar’s suggested songs and chants for tonight

When a goal is scored: "They all Wear Red and Black"

When the officials make a questionable call:
Are you Pederson,
Are you Pederson,
Are you Pederson in disguise?
Well you must be from The Icemark,
‘Cause you’ve got snow up in your eyes!

At any point when we lead after Kelvin scores:
We’ve got Kelvin Bassford, and you’ve got s***!
We’ve got Kelvin Bassford, and you’ve got s***!
We’ve got Kelvin Bassford, and you won’t score a bit!


Other positive play chants:

Sanroman! Sanroman!
Does whatever a Captain can!
Makes the touch, and the pass!
Try to get by, you’ll be on your a--!
Sanroman! Sanroman!
He’s the Captain and he’s our man!
---
It’s Livingston I presume,
There to give you the broom!
----
It’s Garry, Maharry,
But to them he’s just scary!
And that’s because Garry
Knows how to pass the ball!

Offensive dispenser,
He makes you look like a lesser,
As he distributes the ball,
That Kelvin puts in the goal!

Here’s Garry Maharry,
The man with the golden foot.
If you don’t watch your back,
Your team will get the boot!
---


Less complimentary comments on/to the opposition:

Why’d you list two Haldentrots in the Eleven?
Two Haldentrots in the eleven, both their names in stitch.
Why’d you list two Haldentrots in the Eleven,
When there’s only one of them playing on the pitch!

---
Four up front, and none on the board!
Four up front, and none on the board!
You should try five,
Cause you can’t do it with four!

---
Use Flint to start a fire,
Then throw him in it!
You should have Flint start the fire,
Because for everything else, he’s s***!

Al smiled, and pocketed the paper. At least somebody was going to be able to cheer tonight.

[Pasarga]

"Well, that was certainly a bit closer than one would have hoped for, given the skill advantage that we had going into the match."

"A win away from home is always a tough feat, luckily Cole was able to get the late winner for the Wanderers and they progress on again."

"Yes, about that, there was a bit of a surprise in the other match as well, Wight was totally and utterly dominated by Bergnovinaia, despite the former not providing any information to the organizational committee until just yesterday afternoon. Surely a single day is not enough time for Abel to prepare his charges for the new tactical folds that they have discovered upon the revelation of this material."

"Well, when in doubt over the past five years, Abel has always managed to pull the team through, minus the Finals obviously. I think the turnover of the roster and video footage will just enhance the preparedness of the squad, not decrease it."

"Say that you are right in that assumption and the squad is indeed prepared for the tactical wrinkles that the Bergs provide, can they win and advance to their third straight Finals?"

"I am not sure, my initial feeling tells me to believe that the Wanderers are indeed prepared enough and skilled enough to achieve victory, but I am cautious. These pods have already seen the world's top ranked side dumped out of the competition, so with a bit of poor luck it could well be us being bounced out tonight."

"True about that, sometimes lady luck simply is not a friend. I have seen matches where one team was totally dominant in the matches, controlling the possession by a 70-30 margin, outshooting them by 25-3, and yet they lost the match one to nil after they hit the post several times and the keeper they faced was simply godly in their performance."

"And that my friend is why no result is ever assured. An unlucky bounce here or there and a game can flip on its head, same with a player hitting terrific form at the right time. It is a funny ol game and one that so often stumps those who try to control and predict it."

"Nevertheless we cheer on the Wanderers."

"Quite so, it is our right as fans to do so. To have the hope."

[Ipeland]

Super sparrows go ballistic, Krytenia are atrocious
Krytenia 2–2 Ipeland (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)

The Krytenia fans arrived at the Callahan & Babcock Arena expecting a stroll in the park and an easy win over a lower ranked and more inexperienced Ipeland side, ranked 39 places below the No. 1 team, and having competed in roughly 45 World Cups, while Ipeland have competed in 4. So everyone expected Ipeland to roll over and allow Krytenia to make the finals with ease. The Ipeland squad however, had other ideas. Ben Marsh scored twice late in the game to earn Ipeland another half hour of extra time, which was goalless throughout, so it went to penalties.

Krytenia were clearly the better of the two sides, and should have been at least 6 goals up by half time. But not taking chances, combined with some good goalkeeping and some incredible luck, kept it at just one. It was no less than expected for the World Cup runners-up, who had been hoped to be three or four goals up by half time, but the one goal lead would have sufficed for most Krytenian fans, who have seen a poor qualifying from the Aces. Krytenia should've had their first goal after the first ten minutes, Yervik managed to sky what should have been an easy tap in from four yards out. Even his manager has his head from his hands after that chance. A few more chances followed, including two free-kicks which were kept out by some fantastic saves to keep a nil-nil score, until Krytenia finally broke the deadlock. Pampeso hit a sublime free-kick which went straight into the far right hand corner, out of reach of Stainag's fingertips. This spurred the Krytenians on, but, despite having countless easy chances, most of them saved with ease, scored no goals. The score at half time was, somehow, 1-0.

Krytenia were still spurred on from the late first half goal and came out ready to dominate again. This showed as Krytenia had many chances as in the first half, but still failed to take them. Despite the chances, the weather reflected most of the half, grey, persistent drizzle, windy and dull. The pitch became slippier which disrupted Krytenia's dominance and made them miss more chances. Krytenia scored their second goal after a Rún Gissurardóttir foul in the Ipeland box. Peskov tucked away the penalty, sending Stainag the wrong way. With more slips from the Krytenian team, Ipeland seized the chance of a goal, and took it, unlike their cyan counterparts. Ben Marsh, used to wet conditions did a solo run down the field and placing the ball past the Krytenian goalie. Ipeland had a chance of extra time. It was the final minute when Ipeland scored the equalizer that sent the game to extra time. Gissurardóttir drilled a corner into the box, Marsh ran into the box, slipped through a Southern's and toe-poked the ball under the goalkeeper's legs. Ipeland had leveled the game.

With most players getting worn out, goals were not going to come in extra time. As predicted, it went to the drama of penalties. Jackson stepped up to take the first penalty. He sent the goalkeeper the wrong way and tucked it away with ease. Wilson scored as well, also sending the keeper the wrong way. It was now Kamp's turn. His penalty was extremely poor and was easily saved by the Krytenian keeper. Yervik scored his penalty, making it advantage Krytenia. Carting's penalty was sent straight down the middle, over the legs of Krytenia's keeper, who had dived to the right. Southern's penalty cannoned back off the crossbar to make the scores level. The next two penalties were scored, so it would go to the final round. Alex Carting tucked away his penalty. So it came to the final penalty. Stainag managed to jump up and save Fallon's badly hit penalty.

Ipeland will now face 11th ranked Akbarabad at the same place, for a chance to get to their second World Cup ever.

[Bergnovinaia]

So I didn't want to do another radio broadcast, so here's a magazine cover instead. (EDIT: Lol, please ignore my pricing error of Euros to dollars. I got my numbers mixed up. haha)

(OOC: Any feedback (by TG or on the picture itself) would be greatly appreciated as I am considering pursuing graphic design in college possibly. Thanks!)

And here's the inside article:

WORLD CUP 60 -- It has been quite a road for Bergnovinaia throughout the World Cup qualifying this edition of the tournament, but advancing to the World Cup proper is just one match away... hopefully just slightly over a 90 minute match for the Bergnovinaian squad that is quite literally Living on a Prayer. Down from 5th place at the midway point in group qualifying, the Bergnovinaian squad rallied behind coach Van Gregory to pull off a spectacular come-from-behind qualification for the playoff pod. But with every victory, the road gets longer and longer, and tougher and tougher.

Bergnovinaia's first step to qualifying for the World Cup proper was a match against group 24 2nd place, with a 10-2-2- record, Wight. Many fans and analysts were worried that Bergnovinaia would not step up to the challenge and would be sent home. The opposite result was true.

With the brilliant coordination of his squad, coach Wilhelm Van Gregory led the Bergnovinaian squad to a fantastic 3-0 victory, crushing any hopes for Wight qualification. Naturally, Van Gregory takes little to no credit for winning the match, but directs the nation spot-light to footballing heroine, Andrew Roberts. With Roberts' first goal, a perfect strike off of the break in the 24th minute, it was clear that things were going Bergnovinaia's way. The goal gave Bergnovinaian defenders some breathing room and Bergnovinaian forwards the extra boost of stamina they needed to keep on a persistent attack for the remainder of the match.

The Bergnovinaian team entered into half time with a 1-0 lead over Wight, allowing the team to keep their hopes held high for victory. At the start of the second half, the Wight coach substituted a midfielder out for an additional forward to put the attack on the Bergnovinaian defense. The strategy temporarily proved successful against the Bergnovinaian defense, with Wight forwards having two shots on goal in a seven minute period. However, Bergnovinaia quickly seized opportunity from the lack of Wight defense off the break in the 53rd minute. Midfielder Peter Van Hamburg was fouled after breaking past Wight defenders, so Jeff Ormord was able to kick a perfect strike in for a goal, bringing Bergnovinaia's lead to 2-0.

Wight immediately recognized that if they did not act quickly, the match was over. Tough play commenced for nearly 20 minutes in the midfield, with only four shots on goal occurring from either team in that time because of the intense midfield back-and-forth play. However, Andrew Roberts managed to sneak past Wight midfielders and defenders on another brilliant break in the 79th minute and he took a shot that bounced off the corner post and into the goal, for a 3-0, decisive score over Wight.

Following the final whistle, celebrations erupted on the field, in the stands, and throughout all of Bergnovinaia. A spontaneous ticker tape parade occurred in the downtown district of Horuk, while the players stormed around Roberts and Van Gregory for their brilliancy in achieving Bergnovinaian victory.

Bergnovinaia will face Pasagara in the playoff pod round 2 to determine which team advances to the World Cup proper. Tune in to channel 22, or D-67 (for satellite customers) to watch today's match at 6 pm.

[Michael VII]

Man on a Mission: WC60 Qualifying with Steven Mcswain.

Woot! Top 60 in the world! And we beat Kulverint! And we're gonna lose to The Holy Empire! Wait...That's not good.

No doubt that this is a great achievement for the sport in Michael VII, managing to lose only twice in qualifying and even tying with Jeru FC! 4th in the world, and we tied! Now to play another Top 10 team in which a draw just won't cut it. We simply have to win. One game away from the World Cup proper? Oh why couldn't The Archregimancy have won?! Then we could have at least had a 0.000000000001% chance of getting to the cup!

Add a couple of zeroes onto the front there, and there's our chances of beating The Holy Empire. They're pretty good. And pretty damn amazing compared to us. Yeah, we beat Kulverint, who are a better team than we are KPB wise, in a tense 3-2 match that really proved our grit and determination, to get to the Pod Finals. But our luck will now run out, and well I guess we'll just hope for a Cup of Harmony berth. This is signalling the end of my happiness and eventually I'll just be a lower league club player again. The blue and gold is all I've got, so guys in Ancharmunn and Yesopalitha, for the love of all things holy give us a berth to the CoH please! I've run out of pills to take to kill the misery. Well, I haven't really needed them recently, as us winning has been good enough alone to be happy. Maybe if we do well, I could get paid well to do a Prozac commercial? I'd say it's pretty likely, but unlikely at the same time. For that you get Top League players, not silly Section I players. Especially Section I players who aren't even wanted on the Transfer Market.

So yeah, because The Archregimancy rigged their match with THE so that the better team would go through from their region, we're stuck with a very tall order to beat, so for perhaps the last time in my career, we'll see M7 this close to qualifying. Can we pull off another miracle? Unlikely, but doable. If by doable, you mean impossible.

Okay, so we'll give it a go, but the likelihood of us winning is essentially zero. Maybe the fans from Saugeais will come out to support their fellow Rushmorite underdogs? Or maybe not...Ah, miracles are fun to believe in, but difficult to accomplish. Especially against devout Christian monks. What's up with that?

[Astograth]

Lordi Atzpiri was, all in all, a fortunate footballer. He'd had no serious injuries, was comfortable at the club and could calmly retire in a few years' time, everything he could hope for. He was even fortunate to have gotten a match ticket; being a Gilley FC player apparently didn't earn him many favours when it came to World Cup matches at his own home stadium. Hmph, it had been easy enough to go see Swartaz vs Erathore at Copa Rushmori VII and Saugeais vs Burchadinger for the past qualifying campaign.

He cared more about this one than the others, though. Far more, because clashing with the Stachland Reds that night was the Astograthian Olibondeka. Atzpiri, 32 year-old left-back, could count his caps with his fingers, which was more than most footballers can do, at any rate.

One. Chun Football Stadium in Chun City, Chunnan, for the very chunny yet ill-fated Soccer International Cup. Astograth's first-ever international, a ragtag bunch of players from the fledgling domestic league summoned by the venerable Gartzen Treko and thrust onto the pitch to face Eastfield Lodge, who inadvertently won themselves a place in the history books. What happened there and then is known; Ormache put the Olives in front with a header, the cross from one Munio Baranzano, but concentration weakened and Graham equalised, only for goalkeeper captain Sakona to foul the striker in stoppage time and fail to save the penalty. They'd been gutted, to say the least, and Atzpiri still felt responsable for the equaliser.

Two. The next match in the SIC, against Mangolana. A 3-0 loss that had kicked the wind out of them. Completely outplayed, with an exhausted midfield and imprecise strikers. The defense couldn't claim much blame, as they were frequently outnumbered at the back and constantly forced to react; Mendiroz's substitution for Echardi was also a poor decision from the manager as they lost much-needed pace.

Three. The third SIC group stage match, against the FSSO, or Eura as they've been calling themselves. A mediocre performance from Atzpiri, covering badly, putting in horrendous tackles that earned him a swift yellow card and directly responsable for the opener after diving far too early and leaving a Euran player the whole wing to exploit. He was dropped for the last game, against Erathore, which they drew thanks to a sublime goal by Urgutz Belarte. To think that pasty teenager, but a year younger than him, was a veteran of the Cafundelense league and captain of Olibondeka...

Four. He got his next chance at the 1st International Football Tournament, which had Erathi organisers. A 1-0 loss in Mossulia, but this time due to the strikers' inaccuracy more than defensive issues; the inclusion of Juvapanam legend Edorta Urrustoy balanced out the midfield and became a focal point of their ball possession. Nevertheless, Atzpiri found himself substituted for Odon Karrikart in an attempt to get a more physical presence down the left.

Five. Another match, another loss, this time in Urumgard. They just couldn't hold the pressure in the early minutes, and the opponents scored before fifteen minutes had passed. No equaliser either. Subbed off for Karrikart, again, and he'd lost his starting spot. In the long run, though, they would both lose out to Iturributa United's Yuango Mendiola, who was yet to be on Gartzen Treko's radar.

Six and seven, coming on for Karrikart at the second Burchadinger Cup, which was won by Polar Islandstates. A few piddly minutes against Loonaterian in the group stage and Flynn's Isle in the first leg of the quarterfinals. Seven, the full ninety in the second leg, at long last his first proper win with Astograth.

Nine, a 4-0 drubbing in the third-place match against Jeruselem, in which Treko chose to field the substitutes. For a long time, tied for Olibondeka's worst defeat; Atzpiri didn't like to remember it. Either way, he was dropped for the World Cup 55 qualifiers and never heard of again at Grand Duke's Stadium, though he kept turning out for big side Royal Rumiatzi.

So, nine matches with the olive green crest on his chest. A thicker fabric, a lighter green, a looser fit, but in essence the same shirt. He'd never felt a key part of the team, nor had he been mourned by the press or the fans or even his fellow footballers. He'd never talked to Powell Pieran. He was one of the faceless, forgettable individuals with a handful of caps that go right under the radar, and there aren't few of those in Astograth. They'd be called and show up at the training ground with their faces alight; they'd sit on the bench and if they were lucky they were given some precious minutes to demonstrate skill. Screw up and it was curtains, perhaps permanently. They weren't Sarlanges, Ormaches or Urrustoys, tenured; dozens waited to snatch their chance away.

Astigar Barrueta and Lapurdi Abaitua, keepers who could never get out of the shadow of Aira and Larretape. Elizalde too, who might've been somewhere in the stands that night considering he played for Bugny FC. Intza Basurto, Lore Echebarne, Oskitz Gerrikabeitia, Lartaun Zomoza, Berbiz Kabia... faded glories. To think that despite all this they were a privileged few made Atzpiri feel proud of what he'd done in his youth. What he'd done later wasn't anything to be ashamed of, either; a league and a Cup with Gilley, and the warmth of the crowd in this very Pitape Stadium spurring him on.

When Belarte broke through the middle, dummied and lobbed the ball for Atristain to trap and score the opener, Atzpiri was just another fan going wild. What set him apart was the call he received the next morning, from the Astograthian Olympic Committee. That in recognition of his acheivements and success in expanding football beyond the country's borders he would be one of the three overaged players in the national football team in Emberton, Krytenia... and captain it.

[New Montreal States]

WAVE OF SCHADENFREUDE SWEEPS NMS

Demolition of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu slightly brightens everyone's day

NEW MONTREAL - Paladins fans across the nation had their days improved upon finding out that Group 16 runners-up Cosumar bludgeoned the living daylights out of the Kagdazka and Pazhujebu Urchins 7-3 in the first round of playoff "pod" matches last night.

"It looks like the Dragons broke into their backfield in the same way those two awful women (Natasha Klossovskaya and Fušia Oujadda) broke into the Presse-Journal Devoir offices a few years back," said Trés-Petite-Patrie grandmother Aline Beaupré as she distributed chocolate-chip cookies to neighborhood children because "if Cosumar can make today a little bit better, than I ought to as well."

"They got stomped, just like that blue-haired harridan stomped that poor anteater when she broke into the zoo to steal those moose placentas," said veterinarian Jules Goodrich as he walked his Newfoundland through Parc-des-Ormes just south of downtown New Montreal. "Those two women with the unpronounceable last names (another reference to Klossovskaya and Oujadda) really ought to be in a psych ward until the medics figure out what makes a human being want moose placentas that badly, but this is definitely the next best thing."

These views are widespread across the Paladins fanbase - a poll of self-identified Paladins fans conducted by the Presse-Journal Devoir and the Political Science department at Boisbriand College indicated that 86% felt that their days had been either "greatly improved" or "moderately improved" by the outcome of the Urchins-Dragons match. 13% of the remainder indicated that the fact that Milchama was still in contention had counteracted the Cosumar rout.

99% of those polled said they would be rooting for Legalese in their match against Milchama tonight.

[The Babbage Islands]

And then there were 32. Cutoff!

See the winners and the pots for the draw

[Saugeais]

Welcome to Saugeais, Co-host of the 60th World Cup

Group A
The Babbage Islands
New Montreal States
Erathore
Valladares

Group B
Pasarga
Jeru FC
Cafundéu
Milchama

Group C
Bears Armed
Jeruselem
Swartaz
The FSSO

Group D
Chetkosk
Polar Islandstates
Queer Poco el Mono Ara
Jedi8246

Group E
Saugeais
Dorian and Sonya
Cotdelapoms
Astograth

Group F
Mytannion
Mangolana
Akbarabad
The Holy Empire

Group G
Bostopia
Valanora
Gyatso-Kai
Sargossa

Group H
Chenkorya
Vilita
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Cassadaigua

Congratulations to all the teams that have qualified for the 60th edition of the World Cup. This is a little pamphlet all about Saugeais. If your team is in Groups E through G, this is mostly likely required reading. If your team is in Groups A through D, consult The Babbage Islands’ information.

Background

Back in the middle of the 12th century, Landry, Lord of Joux, decided to found and fund an abbey in the upper valley of what is now Arçon. He gave land to Humbert, Archbishop of Besançon, who invited monks from Saint-Maurice-d'Agaune (Valais/Wallis, Switzerland) to settle there. The monks came with colonels from the Grishuns and Savoy, who brought their local languages which were still widely used in the valley. The colonels met the local hermit Benoît, and the abbey was named after him. A monk called Norduin built the abbey, which was placed under St. Colomban's rule. The abbey remained under the control of the Lords of Joux. In 1508, the system of commende was established, by which the abbots percieved a rent but did not live in the abbey. The most famous of these commendataire abbots was Ferry Carondelet, a former councillor of Emperor Charles V fond of the Italian Renaissance, who richly decorated the abbey. The abbey was eventually closed in 1723.

In 1947, the nation was formally founded with president George Pourchet appointed as the first president of the Republic. After a fairly quiet ruling period, the President died in 1968, with his wife Gabrielle taking over for himt, helping the parish priest to preserve the abbey. In 1972, a festival was organized in order to raise funds for the abbey preservation. During the lunch, Gabrielle Pourchet was officially elected by acclamation President of the Free Republic of Saugeais for life.

In 2010, the passing of Gabrielle saw the first time a new democratic election was put into place. The first such election resulted in François Gardin as the new President of the land. His rule will be remembered by the ups and downs in attitude over the treatment of his citizens. Varying from complete tyrant to reformed left wing politician, his tenure as the Saugeain president was by far the most eventful. In 2019, after many years of rule, Gardin was elected out of office by upstart congressman Thomas Bouvier. Bouvier's first act as president was to go after the failing economy. He immediately turned around the failing economy into one of the richest in the Rushmore nation.


Saugeais is a rich, yet young nation rich in cultural diversity, with Cotdelapomais making up 20% of the national ethnic groups (the majority of non-native Saugeais). Being a nation on the coast, especially with capital Montbenoit right on the water, the nation is no stranger to the aforementioned tourists, who like to frequent the beaches on the shores of Lake Branta. Many of the host cities have excellent shopping districts, and great transportation systems to easily move visitors from the residential areas to the various match sites, shopping malls, etc. and back again. The weather can and will be erratic at times, switching from bright and sunny to wet and windy in the matter of minutes along the coastal towns. Tornadoes have been known to pop up every now and then in the southeastern part of the country, drastically affecting game play for one of the local clubs, who opt to play through these storms.

Transportation
Saugeais has a well developed infrastructure, linking each major city (which includes the host cities) via the Saugeais International Highway. Within each city runs their own independently run public transportation, ranging from buses to trolleys, even ferries in the case of Montbenoit’s bay area location. Taxis are plentiful should you require one whilst it is not anticipated that many will use hire cars during the finals.

Accommodations and Entertainment
Tourism in Saugeais has always been one of its main selling points, Visitors can enjoy an abundance of places to stay, from the five star hotels like the Grand Verona, to the local bed and breakfasts. Entertainment is certainly not lacking within the nation, with many towns celebrating their local music scene on a daily basis, be it through the many clubs in the areas or if you wish to sit down in Bugny’s newly constructed Opera House and take in some of the world’s most beautiful plays. Theatres and art galleries are common, and right now the National Institute of Art in downtown Montbenoit has a special gallery of wood carvings from nationally recognized artist Claude Battier.

Language and Currency
Probably the easiest transition over from most worldly nations is the (virtual) absence of a language barrier. English is spoken widely across the nation, and is the de facto national language. French is starting to be spoken by a greater percentage of the population, in no small part to the Cotdelpomais expatriates living in the northern part of the country. But if you are not able to speak either language and you are coming in to watch the games, translators will be at your service throughout all the host cities and stadiums to ease your stay here.

The currenct used in Saugeais is the franc, denoted by the sign “₣”. The Saugeain Franc has been inflated due to financial crisis over the years, but has started to get back to normal level, albeit slowly. Compared to the universal dollar, the franc in exchange is roughly 1 to 3, meaning whatever costs $1 would be equal to 3 francs here.

Weather
Saugeais has varying degrees of weather, ranging from hot and sunny, to cold and rainy; sometimes extreme weather conditions (ie. tornadoes) could appear, especially in the Two Rivers region. Despite being near Lake Branta, Montbenoit is home so some of the nicest weather in the country, perpetually being 80°F and sunny. As you move inland, there isn’t much change in temperature, until you get towards the upper portion of the country (around the Arçon region). Due to the National Forest encompassing the northeast region, temperatures will be much cooler. We advise you to be prepared in case your team is suddenly moving from warm to cool regions and vice versa.

Sport
Saugeais has long since considered football to be the national sport, having boasted that most of its 90 million citizens either watch or participate in leagues all throughout the year. The Saugeais Football Association, being headed by the Ikonik Premier League, is steadily growing to be one of the top football associations in the world, with teams like Bugny FC and Les Alliés leading the charge. The national baseball team has fared well in international competitions, reaching the knockout stages in every single World Baseball Classic entered. The Rugby League and Union teams have also been a rising power in the world, taking 3rd place once and finishing in the quarterfinals numerous times.

Group E venues

(cap. 68,500)

The Football Association of Saugeais is based out of Stade de Montagne, located smack in the middle of the capital, Montbenoit. The stadium is also home to local Premier League side, Montbenoit FC, and both have used the 68,500 all seater since its construction before World Cup 53. The stadium has hosted many of the big matches, both domestically (in Premier League and FAS Cup action) and internationally against various big name opponents. The stadium has been expanded numerous times to coincide with the continual growth of the national team, reaching its current capacity right before co-hosting the 47th Cup of Harmony.

(cap. 37,550)

Ville-DuPont, a very quaint, rustic town located near the northeastern edge of the country. Situated on the northern edge of the Saugeais National Forest, the Ville-DuPont economy is centered around logging, slowly becoming the national leader of lumber production and exports. The stadium they will be in is Hawkshead Point, a 37,550 all-seater venue that has seen its fair share of joy and sorrow in the past 20 years. The latter has also led to the decline of tourism drawn to the area because of football. With the arrival of the World Cup crowd, the amount of revenue the matches and tourism bring will most definitely bring upgrades to the local team and the stadium.

MD1
Saugeais v Astograth (Stade de Montage)
Dorian and Sonya v Cotdelapoms (Hawkshead Point)
MD2
Astograth v Cotdelapoms (Hawkshead Point)
Saugeais v Dorian and Sonya (Stade de Montagne)
MD3
Dorian and Sonya v Astograth (Stade de Montagne)
Cotdelapoms v Saugeais (Hawkshead Point)


Group F venues

(cap. 39,450)

In the industrial city of Metalton, several visiting teams will play at the high-tech Tapandie Stadium. Able to hold an expanded 39,450 fans, the stadium boasts that it has the cleanest pitch in all the world, as rarely has there ever been pock marks or divots caused by slides; not even browned grass has shown up on the pitch. It really is the perfect playing field. Outside of football, Metalton has become one of the fastest growing cities in the country, with its ever expanding mining, and subsequent iron works, industries. The Metalton Domestic Iron Works Foundry is the largest producer of iron in the country, forging iron for everything from I-beams to truck chassis.

(cap. 49,600)

Old - built in 1950. Forest - It’s located on the edge of the Saugeais National Forest. Stadium - it’s a stadium. This venue in Bugny has been the home of Bugny FC since the team’s founding, and both them and the stadium have had many major changes over the years. Gone are the days of wooden bleachers, opting now for a more modernized bowl-and-roof look. The ultras, however, are still rather rabid about their team, and are said to make plenty of appearances during this World Cup. The FA has been cracking down on incidents leading up to this World Cup, but visiting fans are asked to exercise caution when attending games at the Old Forest.

MD1
Mytannion v The Holy Empire (Old Forest Stadium)
Mangolana v Akbarabad (Tapandie Stadium)
MD2
The Holy Empire v Akbarabad (Tapandie Stadium)
Mangolana v Mytannion (Old Forest Stadium)
MD3
Mangolana v The Holy Empire (Old Forest Stadium)
Akbarabad v Mytannion (Tapandie Stadium)


Group G venues

(cap. 37,500)

Longview is situated in the Two Rivers region of Saugeais, and as such is known for plenty of violent weather activity. This is partly the reason one local football team is called the “Tornadoes”. Circle Stadium in itself is not a bad venue: sturdy design, as well as rounded roofs, have been specially installed for the chance of sudden inclimate weather in the area. Add the fact that it has the best VIP boxes in the Premier League, and any visiting dignitary or rich fellow can watch the match in style.

(cap. 47,850)

Another stadium receiving a capacity upgrade, Pitape Stadium in Gilley is now at 47,850 seats. Both touchline stands received a new third level addition during these upgrades, and as a result the roof has now gone on to resemble a wave pattern than just being flat all the way across. Added concession stands, souvenir shops, bathrooms, not to mention cozier press and VIP boxes, have made this stadium one of the most modern venues for this entire tournament. Pitape was one of the host venues during Saugeais’ Copa Rushmori tenure, and it still remains as one of the most fan-friendly atmospheres in all of the Premier League

MD1
Bostopia v Sargossa (Circle Stadium)
Valanora v Gyatso-Kai (Pitape Stadium)
MD2
Sargossa v Gyatso-Kai (Pitape Stadium)
Valanora v Bostopia (Circle Stadium)
MD3
Valanora v Sargossa (Circle Stadium)
Gyatso-Kai v Bostopia (Pitape Stadium)



Group H venues

(cap. 53,450)

A name change and a facelift where what this aging stadium needed in time for the World Cup. Home to the reigning Premier League champion Titans, the World Cup Park boasts an upgraded 53,450 seats, making it the second largest venue in Saugeais. It also has been retrofitted with new LED videoboards (replacing the old dot-matrix systems), better sound systems, more concessions, bathrooms, etc. all for the upcoming World Cup and for the Titans’ matches following shortly after.

(cap. 51,000)

Aside from being home to the Arçon football team, Arrowpoint Place is also the main track and field venue for Olympic delegation of Saugeais. Located on the outskirts of the city, this 51,000 capacity venue has hosted numerous national college meets and trial days for many aspiring track and field stars. “The Point” is also a secondary home for the national team. The stadium, like the one in Bugny is located just a couple miles away from the Saugeais National Forest, which covers 10% of the total land area of the nation, and as such lumbering is one of the city’s main source of income.

MD1
Chenkorya v Cassadaigua (World Cup Park)
Vilita v Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Arrowpoint Place)
MD2
Cassadaigua v Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Arrowpoint Place)
Vilita v Chenkorya (World Cup Park)
MD3
Vilita v Cassadaigua (World Cup Park)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega v Chenkorya (Arrowpoint Place)



We here at the Saugeais Tourism Board wish you all the best during your time in Saugeais, and also wish your team the best of luck in the World Cup!

[Yesopalitha]

HVR - After Qualifying Cycle

Well, we fell short again. A record of 9-3-2 wasn't good enough. It didn't matter that the two losses were to Pasarga and Polar Islandstates, teams ranked considerably higher than us. It didn't matter that we only dropped two points that we weren't supposed to, against Audioslavia on a 1-1 draw and another to Bordurian of the same score. At the end, the Terns and the Wanderers lived up to their billing and clearly were the better squads.

However, this qualifying cycle was not in vain. We defeated Polar Islandstates once and drew against Pasarga. We showed the world that we can play football. Our record is not one to be ashamed of... It would've qualified in many other groups. This qualifying cycle propelled us into the top fifty, as we currently sit at number forty-nine.

But, for now, our focus shifts to the Cup of Harmony. It is being co-hosted by our glorious nation and the nation of Ancharmunn in the region of Rushmore. It is not known whether our own team will be participating in this event, but if we are, we will be participating for the third time as the forty-ninth ranked nation in the world.

Playing with my teammates has become more and more easy. It is fun to be with them, to spend time with them. I am proud to be a Yesopalitha Flame.

HVR out.

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Announcer: And now the moment you have all been waiting for…

It’s the Down & Out Show with your hosts Errant Dow’naithe and Kibber Ou’transco!

Down: And here we are following a brilliant campaign where the Sea Dragons reeled off 12 consecutive wins to clinch the Group 2 top spot and sail into the World Cup 60 proper

Out: And we lost the first two matches to competition definitely of lower quality than what we will face now. We still suck.

Down: Whatever. We all know you can never be happy with the Sea Dragons. And we are the top seed in a very winnable group. You should be ecstatic right now.

Out: Okay. I’ll give you my thoughts. Who do we play first?

Down: Vilita

Out: Our neighbors to the south, The Jungle Cats looked very solid in qualifying as they finished second and knocked off Ko-oren and Cosumar to get in. they will kick our ass. Totally. I predict an 8-0 scoreline.

Down: 8-0? Are you nuts? They are good but not that good.

Out: These are my predictions so SHUT THE F*** UP!. Who’s next?

Down: The Dagans

Out: Sweet! Nothing like getting crushed by girls wearing Pink kits. At least they will be nice to watch as they kick our ass

Down: We have a good shot to beat them.

Out: Nope. They went undefeated in qualifying and are ready to make another run at a title. Nice ass on that Van Fleet chick though

Down: you are hopeless. Chenkorya is the third match.

Out: Chink Korea? You will be getting hate mail for that one.

Down: Chenkorya, not Chink…never mind.

Out: I need a double shot

Down: of espresso?

Out: Scotch you putz. Are they any good?

Down: I don’t really like Scotch.

Out: Not the Scotch. Damn where is your mind at you Alchy-bum? I was asking about the Chinks from Korea.

Down: it’s Chenkorya! And they won their group in qualifying over Kazzoria and Astograth. No roster for them though.

Out: So our third match is against some no-named chinks from Korea who won a group that bosted of nobody really. Is that right.

Down: I’m tired of arguing with you. Yes that is right.

Out: They will still kick our ass.

Down: But we have a huge advantage!

Out: they all got sick and aren’t showing up?

Down: No. We play all our group matches In Arcon, Saugeais at Arrowpoint Place. No traveling.

Out: Really?

Down: Yes really

Out: Shit! Arcon sucks. No beaches and lots of tree-huggers who don’t shave their legs and pits. That’s a little disturbing after the first time.

Down: That’s disturbing before the first time. Uhhg. Thanks for ruining my hopes for this trip.

Out. No problem. Anytime I can help.

[Vilita]

As a youngster, Sakm Sovdat would always look up to his ancestors. Maks Sovdat was a well known Vilitan referee who even participated in the World Cup. Aksm Sovdat was a fine striker, for the locals side, but was always pre-occupied with nature stuff to do much more with sport. Of course, there was always Skam Sovdat, but Sakm tried not to think often about Skam.

Sakm always wanted to be a star footballer. He had tried all the positions. At the u-9 level he was a goalkeeper, but then he stopped growing. So then he became a forward, but he couldn't head the ball. Finally he became a winger, his speed, center of gravity and workrate rivaled even the most skilled of competitors.

Unfortunately, it just never worked out for Sakm as a player. So Sakm, like Maks, became a referee.

Starting at the U-9's all over again, Sakm worked his way from the youth, to the local level and finally to the Vilitan League. Sakm is widely regarded as one of, if not the fittest referee in the Vilitan leagues and is never accused of being too far away from the play to make a call.

Now, it was Sakm who got the call. The Football Association of Vilita put the name of Sakm Sovdat forward on their list of referees available for Interational Qualifying matches for Finals of World Cup 60. If Sovdat finds the right team to work with and keeps his fitness up, its highly possible that his name will be on the top of the list of Vilitan Referees put forward for International play for some time to come.

It is the first time since a time that no one can remember that the Football Association of Vilita has presented a referee at the World Cup Stage. Of course, Sovdat will not be selected for any matches involving the Vilitan Squad, or that could affect the likely Vilitan matchups. It is most likely that, with the Jungle Cats playing in Saugeais, Sovdat will be shipped out to The Babbage Islands to ply his trade as the World Cup 59 Runners-Up look to secure World Football's biggest prize in their own back yard.

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem coach Princess Shay and Jeru FC assistant coach Princess Sofia

Shay: Hey Sofia
Sofia: Hey Shayster
Shay: I see you guys got Pasarga, Cafundéu and Milchama in Group B
Sofia: Well I guess we know them pretty well by now
Shay: Bears Armed, Swartaz, The FSSO are in Group C for us.
Sofia: I know who them Bear Belles, Swartaz but the FSSO?

Shay: I don't know but they are the weakest seed there
Sofia: I see them Milchamans are back
Shay: Yes, but not where they used to be
Sofia: I'm upset there's no Qazox in the finals
Shay: But they can win the Cup of Harmony
Sofia: I suppose it is an opportunity to do that

Shay: Good to see all the pink cuppers made it this time round
Sofia: Yes but we have deal with the bear girls again
Shay: Oh yes, but I hope the girls and bear girls can do the job
Sofia: I hope so.
Shay: I heard conservatives are complaining your current album promotes bad behaviour for older women
Sofia: I'm just stating the obvious

Shay: I guess there are plenty of cougars out there.
Sofia: Well, I'm just one of many.
Shay: My cougar years are over.
Sofia: I guess they are. How are your boys?
Shay: Too much like their dad.
Sofia: Little mangos ...

Shay: But then there's your little monster
Sofia: Why? Too much like Mum.
Shay: Yes
Sofia: You're just different.
Shay: Can't she be normal like the other girls?
Sofia: We're Princesses, can be boring like everyone else!

[Krytenia]

García Sacked

FRANCISCO Vázquez García, the man who led Krytenia to their first ever World Cup final, was relieved of his duties as manager of the Aces last night as the newly (and we assume briefly) installed world #1 team failed to qualify for the sixtieth edition of the World Cup.

With the general consensus being that Krytenia will not be invited to the upcoming Cup of Harmony, the KFA will have plenty of time choosing a successor. A source at Lowess Lane suggests that an appointment "sometime after the Olympics", but it is as yet unknown whether the new gaffer will be home-grown or whether the suits will head-hunt someone further afield. Among the names being linked with the job are former Silexhera coach Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips, Avidia United boss Warren Kennedy-Worthington, and 100/1 shot Valrauncion.

We're not expecting that last one, by the way.

[Legalese]

"...and that's a B out of the pot for Milchama. Milchama joins group B with Pasarga, Jeru FC, and Cafundeu..."

Bernie turned to Gabe. "On the plus side, that group probably would have destroyed us."

Gabe snorted. "Bernie, we came into this tournament way down the totem pole, and even now are only ranked 77th. If ratings mattered, we shouldn't have gotten to where we were, and even if we did qualify, any group would've been our own personal group of death."

Bernie shrugged. "Fair. So let's get down to business. We haven't heard anything from the Yesopalithans or the Charrmunnry, so we don't know for sure about that bid. But I can't help but feel that we're a lock, especially with our performance, as long as the Charrmunnry don't hold a grudge - and forget we're from AO."

Gabe laughed. Those Rushmorian nations seemed to think there was a rivalry going on. Too bad it was along the same lines of a Starblaydia-Legalese rivalry, in terms of one-sidedness.

"So, we probably have that coming up," Bernie continued "as well as the next AOCAF, and then it starts all over again with qualifying. And we have to start planning for what's next." He leaned in closer, attempting to bring gravity to the situation.

"There's only one question for you, Gabe. Are you in, or are you out?"

Gabe thought for a moment. All this travel gets tiresome, and Miranda would love me at home more. But there's still so much unfinished business. Keep this up, and glory awaits.

"Bernie, I'm out..."

Bernie's face fell briefly, before Gabe finished the sentence.

"...for the next AOCAF - let's give Hamish a shot at running things. But otherwise, I'm here until we qualify, you fire me, or they wheel me out with a toe tag. Deal?"

Gabe extended his hand. Bernie shook it before Gabe could change his mind.

[Mytannion]

Who is actually playing for Mytannion this time around?
by Samuel Artemiev

The question is in the title, with all the political upheaval due to the Ultranationalists coming to power and the situation in Pobedyvika, the official squad list hasn't even been released. The team is a lot different from the squads of a few World Cups ago, there are players on this list that wouldn't have even been considered for the squad then, but have to be now, purely because of the collapse of our own league - which is effectively defunct because of the situation here. Robin Hjik remains, as always, the stalwart is 32 now - playing in the Polar Islandstates, he's amassed 108 appearances for his country, plus 47 goals - he surpassed Radoslaw Famoc's record of 30 a couple of cups ago. The midfielder will captain this side that is led by Mytanar footballing legend, Joep Bang, who played over 50 times for his country. The expectations are high for this team, who did extremely well in qualifying, suffering only one defeat along the way, managing 33 points along the way. The strongest thing about this team, is the defence, which only conceded 8 goals throughout qualifying, making it joint-best defence with Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Vilita, who both qualified to the World Cup proper also. Coincidentally, they are in the same group for the World Cup too.

The squad is one that has some entirely unexpected names on it, 35 year old right-back Pieers Mesa, playing in the Polarian League for East Franz Athletic, the veteran defender has been one that the squad has been able to rely on for the qualifying stint, playing in all 14 games and looking largely comfortable - even though the highest level he had played at before this was the TakilQuip Champions' Cup, with his club team. 11 players in this squad are aged 30 or over, making this one of the most experienced squads ever named by Mytannion for a World Cup. There are also two 15 year olds though, giving the team the normal Mytanar feeling, of youth. Players like Ty Irvin, who would never have expected in a million years to be chosen for the national team have managed to get selected, largely because of retirements, the collapse of the Takillega and restricted scouting for head coach, Joep Bang. Bang, who retired aged 41 for Atletik Thessia, is now 47 and has had various stints in management, one season at SK Port Jarko where he got them back into the Takillega, then three seasons at Eastern Chase in Civil Citizenry. He then managed the Mytanar under-21s for two years before being asked to take on the senior national team head coaching role.

He's made some interesting selections, Musa Kiril, who was released from a team in the Cotdelapomais league - we're not even sure who - has been selected as the first choice defensive midfielder, ahead of Filip Bosc who is the same age as him. You soon realise why when you see his passing statistics, he keeps the ball. He can be the one that the ball is just played back to when one of the more creative players has no options on - and can then find someone else to keep the ball moving, the team is rather different from Mytanar teams of years gone by who would look for swift counter attacks, it is a team that aims to keep and retain the ball as much as possible. He gets himself in positions so that he can simply be given the ball and can then make a pass to keep the move going.

As you can see (on the left), Kiril only had two passes intercepted in the whole game (red), one was blocked (blue), and one went out of play (yellow), he had 26 out of 30 completed. This is from the game versus the Islands of Qutar, where he had two key passes - the one that ends up closest to the 6-yard box, a cross which was directed in by Salum Merec and the second one is the one where he is located right on the goal line on the left side of the field, tapped it inside and Tomas Sivoli smashed a ball across and it miraculously ended up in the back of the net, probably because of some poor goalkeeping. In both situations, Kiril was given the ball by someone who is probably considered a more creative player and who had nowhere else really to go. This is clever management by Joep Bang, who has used someone who is particularly good at defending (he is a right-back too, remember), but also has the eye to pick a killer pass and gets himself in the right position in pretty much every single situation. He had a near perfect pass completion percentage (86%), and a 100% tackle completion percentage, he attempted eleven in the game and won every single one of them. He could well be the key to this side doing well. He isn't going to pick a killer pass every time, but he can keep moves that seem dead, alive, which could turn out to be just as important.

Robin Hjik is always important, he showed this throughout qualifying as he scored 10 goals. The most by a Mytanar player, he played brilliantly, throughout, making runs beyond Salum Merec as often as he could and as always showing how good he is defensively. He breaks up move repeatedly, but is the single most creative outlet in the team. He can score and assist and does this often. His average positions across the field are impressive too, he is obviously focused on the middle of the park - but it is clear he gets back to defend and gets forward too.

He is the most important player in the team, he is the captain, the emotional leader - but this is for a definite reason, his performances set an example to the whole squad. In total he had 44 shots over the course of qualifying, 24 shots on target, 10 goals.

His goalscoring record from midfield is phenomenal.

As you can see here (on the right), his 44 shots were important, the most spectacular one is the furthest green one out - a 35 yard volley, the ball dropping perfectly onto his foot at flying into the top corner. His experience will still be the most important thing though, 412 games for Atletik Thessia - who were one of the best teams in the NSverse when he played for them, approximately 175 more for SK Franz Josef City and the hoard of caps he has for the national side, he will lead this team just as Joep Bang did, he will be quite simply inspirational to this side. He has to perform too, especially with the group that Mytannion have been drawn into, with Mangolana, Akbarabad and the Holy Empire. If the Mytanar side wish to perform well, performances from big players against all three of these teams will be needed.

The expected first team for this squad is as follows: de Zooijt - Mesa, Latka, Gyulla, Urz - Kiril, Hjik, van der Zwan - Sivoli, Merec, Ulsson. The front three are strong, two experienced internationals in Merec and Ulsson who know this level and know exactly what they need to do in order to score and win games, there is also the slightly younger Tomas Sivoli, who is 27, who is experienced enough - playing for his country 29 times, but also has made a whole hoard of appearances for SK Franz Josef City and Miago City. Goals will certainly come though, if the ball can be crossed in from the left by Sivoli, Merec and Ulsson will certainly be favourites to get on the end of it, if Merec and Ulsson can get it down on the ground for Sivoli to weave some magic - he can also damage teams, he keeps the ball close to his feet and dribbles through them, something he has always been brilliant at, even as a youngster playing at Miago City, he was a dangerous runner with the ball, he is extremely skillful.

We've been through the midfield at some length already, Hjik and Kiril will be key, certainly. Nick van der Zwan is a good choice though, his speed and tough tackling will be important to break-up play. He's a real box-to-box midfielder too, partnering him with Robin Hjik was a controversial choice at the start of qualifying, but it has worked fantastically. There will be continuity there as Joep Bang looks to get the team to progress to the knockout rounds for only the third time. Of course, if this doesn't work out - experienced replacements in the form of Filip Bosc and Vyacheslav Merkens can come off the substitutes bench, both of which have a lot of games under their belt in the Polarian League and Bosc in particular has a lot caps already, he has proved himself at the highest level and will continue to do so if called upon, we imagine.

The biggest surprises of the squad are perhaps the two 15 year old players selected in the squad. Snerik Oiskha, a creative attacking midfielder who was spotted by Robin Hjik has been chosen to be in the squad, it's unlikely he will play - but he could be used as a real impact substitution. His passing and long-range shooting will make him a useful weapon to have in the team, especially as no team has played against him before. It should be remembered that Robin Hjik made his debut for the national team as a 16 year old, not quite the same age, but there is precedent. Oiskha is an interesting talent and should be extremely useful, he is skillful and tricky - his slight build may put many off him, it looks like a fly could push him off the ball, but he has a wiry strength and determination that carries him through, making him hard to play against - and of course, with his close control, he is always difficult to challenge.

Then, there is the young forward, Dzala Ertobashia. He was born on Pobedyvika to Mytanar parents, it's surprising that he has been selected given - not only his age - but the political situation in his birthplace. Ertobashia is a tall, athletic striker - in the traditional Mytanar mould, he's 6'4, strong and has good acceleration that allows him to move away from defenders with a bit of speed. He's fantastic in the air and his finishing with his feet is good too, it helps that he is ambidextrous and can use both feet equally well. Ertobashia may be another who won't see much of the field this World Cup, but expect him to be used in the coming World Cups, he could be the future of this national side - and with all the current strikers getting on a bit, he could have an outstanding opportunity at becoming the main forward in this squad. We expect both him and Oiskha to be snapped up quickly after the World Cup, especially if they actually see the field, as they could impress.

Mytannion will be playing their group stage games in Saugeais, in the cities of Metalton and Bugny, the first game will be the most difficult and will be the one that determines Mytannion's tournament, they play The Holy Empire at the Old Forest Stadium, which has 49,600 seats is extremely modern and has amenities that will be perfect for all fans. Perfect for Mytanar fans to destroy, as they usually do. Apparently the local fans are also of a similar mould to our own fans, but we doubt this. Nobody quite matches the Mytanar fans for rabid fandom and hooliganism. The second game will probably be a must-win at this point, we will probably lose against The Holy Empire. The second game is against Mangolana, at the same stadium - which will become almost a home from home, we really need a win against Mangolana - they're the team we probably have the best chance of beating. They're inexperienced at full tournament level, whereas we've played in four, this is our fifth. We're experienced, we've been here before. Perhaps not as experienced as The Holy Empire though, then, we've got a game against Akbarabad that we will have to get a result from. This time at Tapandie Stadium in Metalton, the 39,450 seater stadium, the highly industrialised city is similar to pretty much all cities in Mytannion, mines, factories, everything else. Hopefully this will provide an environment that will remind the Mytanar team of home. The fans that travel with them will hopefully provide something similar too.

Mytannion hasn't done very well in previous tournaments, could this one be different? We'll wait and see.

[Sargossa]

The Island Chronicle


Destination Saugeais


While other nations went through the turmoil and tension of the playoffs the Sargossan national side has enjoyed an almost tranquil preparation period ahead of the World Cup's opening round of matches. Corsairs' coach Brutušam Erassi elected to take the squad away from the media intrusion of Sargossa and headed to Cape Jaune for a training camp in the sun. They then head to their team hotel in Gilley via a pre-tournament friendly in Scott City against Darmen.

Awaiting them in Saugeais is Group G and a couple of very famous names. Such as Bostopia, a nation that competed in World Cup's while others were inventing fire. They're blessed with vast experience and a loony Emperor. But at least they drive on the correct side. Interestingly (an admittedly optimistic use of the word 'interestingly') Sargossa faced Bostopia during their path to the Corsairs first ever World Cup appearance. Rob Kietecs' side twice faced Boston's Boys during the qualifiers for World Cup 48 and twice frustrated their higher ranked opposition. They held Bostopia to a 1 - 1 draw in Soluca before picking up a stunning win in Fort Boston which held pave the way to the Finals in Cafundéu.

Then there's the small matter of one of world football's most feared entities. Valanora. Yep, that'll be the likes of Espy va Drake and Laborious Hawk then. They're four time champions of the footy multiverse and ever so slightly terrifying. Although the Marauders didn't have it all their own way during the qualifiers, only topping the group courtesy of a superior head to head result over Taeshan. No doubt they'll be looking to make up for that in Saugeais. Oddly enough the Corsairs hold an unbeaten record against this mob too after one lone encounter way back at World Cup 51 in Septentrionia. Then coach Gabriel Vizcarra had vowed to play a defensive game to try and claw something from the much vaunted Marauders. The final score? 3 - 3. It will certainly be a fascinating battle of wits between Sargossa's experienced Pazhujebi coach Erassi and young Valanora boss Seydiya At’rod’uin, who happens to be a mere 662 years younger than his star player.

The fourth team in the group is Gyatso-kai who will also happen to hold a unbeaten record over, albeit having not actually faced each other before. To be honest we know little about the Bisons but the fact that they're here, they're the 27th best side in the world and they topped a qualifying group ahead of the Mad Monks suggests they should by no means be taken lightly.

All in all an excellent challenge between four teams who all won their respective qualifying groups. At 32nd Sargossa are the lowest ranked nation in Group G but recent form would suggest that the Corsairs should only be underestimated at their opponent's peril. They are unbeaten in fifteen and haven't failed to score in their last twenty one fixtures. In fact Erassi's main achievement since taking charge, back-to-back World Cup qualifications aside, has been to take a fragile side and maKe them very hard to beat. It's forty four games in charge now for the tactician with just four defeats to his name. Half of them came at the last finals, he'll be looking for an improvement on that this time around. With that in mind there has been a rumour that the coach intends to make a slight change to his favoured backline. Toni Siqueira, who struggled at times in the qualifiers, looks set to be dropped to the bench with first choice centreback Leandro Gonzàlez moving to rightback. This will see veteran defender and former captain Javi Aguilar slotting back into the defence. It's a move certainly intended to help solidify a somewhat generous rearguard but it remains to be seen whether shuffling a winning pack so close to the Finals is a good idea.

[Michael VII]

Man on a Mission: Failed WC60 Qualification with Steven Mcswain.

Well in the end, we were just 90 minutes off of qualifying. One game was the final hurdle at which we fell. Albeit valiantly. The Holy Empire were always gonna be too good, and it really rang true, overwhelmed in Saugeais, 5-2, where we never really had a chance of competing with those monks. Maybe saying some prayers might actually help sometimes.

So yeah, in the end we pulled off 2nd place in the group. Pulled off a miraculous win over higher ranked Kulverint, before finally getting struck down by The Holy Empire for that last qualifying place in Pod 1. That's all good and dandy, because we never expected to come this far, and I thought I'd be back with Mayfield by now anyway. The sheer fact that we got to Saugeais in the first place (although not in the World Cup proper, maybe next season.) shows how far we've come. Sure, that last result really showed us that we are actually the 60th best team in the world, not able to compete with the final 32, but it's not a demoraliser. I feel like this group has a few cups left in them, a couple shots for glory, and I feel like I can compete until at least WC 63. By then, hopefully we'll have enough street cred to play with the big boys and make the final cut.

Well, we'll just look forward to hoping for a CoH invite. Without it, again, our ranking will fall, and we won't be able to make up that ground again quite so easily. Plus, Yesopalitha is nice this time of year, and Ancharmunn is a fellow Rushmorite nation too, so it'd be nice to chill in other Rushmori nations for a while, play some nice football, enjoy the vacation, and then think about going back to M7 and the Mayfield clan. So far we've got no news from either FA about an invite, and we'll just sit here and wait for it. Maybe schedule a friendly or two, and see what our future has. It has been great though to stay around here, and to feel at peace again, perhaps the Top League isn't out of the picture for next season. Just yet at least.

Mission Objective Update: Go to the Cup of Harmony. And win that damned Trophy!

[New Montreal States]

I'd like to remind the entire NS sporting universe that I love you all OOCly. Also, the first person to correctly guess the internet writer I'm trying to imitate (via TG to Anathematic Republics) will win a snobbish takedown of the nation of their choice!

Well, it's that time of the four-year, or two-year, or one-year, or eight-milennia-of-being-hurled-through-space-at-0.9-times-the-speed-of-light cycle, and the World Cup Finals are on us again. Since I work for the NMSSA, I have access to the kind of supercomputers that allow me to work out not only the winner of World Cup 60, but also World Cups 61 through 69. Am I going to tell you who they are? Hell no! I'm going to clean up on the gambling futures market, not because I need the money, but because I enjoy the facial expressions of casino tellers writing payout checks that will directly impact their parent company's annual earnings statements. Also, if I tried to explain my algorithms to you yokels, your cerebrums would melt and you would end up whimpering in the corner behind the water heater in your parents' basement. Well, more than you already do, anyway.

World Cup 60 was billed as being Exciting and Historical because all numbers ending with a zero are inherently Exciting and Historical. And so far it has been, albeit for all the wrong reasons:

- the reigning three-time world champion and KPB #1 blew us all a big, wet raspberry and decided to try something really challenging, like saving rock 'n roll or tricking a supermodel into eating an entire bacon cheeseburger;
- the replacement KPB #1 forgot to let us know the names, numbers, and positions of what were, theoretically, the best international players of World Cup 60, before losing to Ipeland in the playoffs and giving us the first ever World Cup in which not one but TWO Best Teams In The World On Paper declined to qualify;
- the emergence of West Spaam, which suggests the existentially terrifying possibility that the universe contains an infinite number of Spaams encircling Spaam, all of which will throw in the towel when confronted with another nation named Spaam;
- the New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir trying to fluff Rhéal Ackersley's reputation despite the fact that he would only become a "world-class striker" if six dozen other players AND the entire nation of Aguazul were killed by lightning;
- a group containing nations named "O-Damn" and "Friday Freshman;"
- Jeremy Jaffacake continuing to walk the earth at age two hundred and eleventy-one;
- someone letting the Milchamans back into the finals.

The Licentiapacisterra Cultural Minister was the only other person to see this travesty for what it really was, although the sheer inanity of it all made his IQ drop faster than the elevators at a convention of Charley Burger franchisees. Despite all this, the Babbage Islands and Saugeais have insisted on plowing ahead with hosting the Finals, and since none of the lawyers I called were willing to help me take out a restraining order, we might as well gird our loins and search through the wreckage for shiny bits of rubble. It's fortunate that my PhD and my time spent driving a forklift for the NMSSA have taught me the kind of mental discipline that allows me to keep my sanity in stressful situations that would turn an Archregimancy monk into a Calvinist or a Karelan defensive back into someone who appreciates good football. But since your unscientific mind couldn't possibly begin to operate on that level, don't say I didn't warn you if you keep reading past this point.

Group A
The Babbage Islands
New Montreal States
Erathore
Valladares

If anyone needed any further convincing that this entire World Cup was a sham and an exercise in futility for the 'States, look no further than this group. The only threat this ragtag bunch of has-beens poses to our gracious hosts is that they might get so used to bottom-feeding, they might not be able to step up their game against an actually decent team once they coast into the knockouts. The Babbage Islands will manage 12 points out of this group, and since someone else has to advance from here, it will probably be Erathore, fueled by Murphy's Law and spite.

Group B
Pasarga
Jeru FC
Cafundéu
Milchama

Has anyone figured out what makes Jeru FC tick? Are they a paramilitary group? Someplace for Jeruselem to store its surplus royal family members? A football club whose fans declared their independence from their former homeland in a drunken stupor? I reprogrammed one of the old mainframes at the NMSSA to answer this question, and it hijacked the electrical controls in a desperate attempt to put itself out of its misery through repeated electric surges. Regardless, they bludgeoned the Paladins into the ground the last time we did this, and there's no good reason to think they won't do that again. Jeru FC to win, and Pasarga to place.

Group C
Bears Armed
Jeruselem
Swartaz
The FSSO

Look, I can't possibly be the first person to note the fact that bears are way, way bigger and stronger than humans, right? Also their fur seems ideal for building up a lot of static electricity when it's dry outside, and the only thing worse than trying to defend against a bear is trying to defend against a bear when you know that coming into contact with that bear will result in a static shock powerful enough to stop an octogenarian's ticker. Meanwhile, this could be Jeruselem's year, as it could have been for quite some time now. Bears Armed with nine points and the Fightin' Princesses with six.

Group D
Chetkosk
Polar Islandstates
Queer Poco el Mono Ara
Jedi8246

If the powers that be in Polar Islandstates could have adhered to the age-old adage "if you think you're dealing with a member of the sporting press, rub it in their faces that they weren't good enough to actually play sports and then walk away," they'd be guaranteed at least a spot in the semifinals. They weren't, though, and this particular vaudeville act will be given the hook in the Round of 16. "8246" were the last four digits of the phone number of the first girl foolish enough to sleep with me, and that by itself is enough reason to give second place in the group to Queer Poco el Mono Ara, right behind Polar Islandstates.

Group E
Saugeais
Dorian and Sonya
Cotdelapoms
Astograth

Is home-field advantage enough to power Saugeais past teams that are better than them on paper? Why the hell not? Meanwhile Cotdelapoms will overcome their uninspiring liberal politicians to carry the day in Group E, while having to play Saugeais in front of a home crowd will make some group winner wonder why they bothered to win their group.

Group F
Mytannion
Mangolana
Akbarabad
The Holy Empire

Everything I know about being mean to people I learned from Akbarabad's newspapers. And since I'm much better at being mean to people than I am at playing soccer, the Commutative Property (which I assume applies to football as well as math, since math is the Universal Language and football is the most popular sport in the Universe) suggests that that they'll finish behind The Holy Empire and Mytannion, in that order.

Group G
Bostopia
Valanora
Gyatso-kai
Sargossa

Three teams in this group will give 110% every time they step on the pitch, and the other team is Sargossa, Look for Valanora and Bostopia to outhustle the Sargossans and hunt the Bison to extinction, despite Emperor Boston's unfortunate self-imposed vow of silence.

Group H
Chenkorya
Vilita
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Cassadaigua

ZOMG GROUP OF DEATH! It'll probably be the Vilitans and the Dagans in some order; followed closely by the Sea Dragons, who will spend their trip back to ASMV cursing the inventor of "goal differential."

Did anyone actually make it this far? Congratulations! You now know exactly what will happen over the next two weeks of matches, and can go do something worthwhile with your life aside from watching my predictions unfold exactly like I told you they would.

[Gyatso-kai]

Bisons In WC Proper!!! What Are Our Hopes?

ONLINE EDITION

24 JUNE 2012.2

TOURNAMENT - World Cup of Football

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Today, ASPN.com has allowed renowned sportscaster Shiro Shinobi to submit the review of the Men's National Team's group in the 60th World Cup Qualification Proper.

With last night's official World Cup Proper Group Draw taking place live at such a late hour, many of our Republics' most devoted fans have called in 'sick' for work due to staying up all night.

It was quite a nail-bitter from the start, let me assure you. I was one of those fans who stayed up all night just so I could bring you this report. Sure, I have a Pro-Bending match to call in a few hours; sure, I have a wife and kid I haven't seen in days with all the touring and sleep deprivation...

But nothing stops Shiro Shinobi! Not nothing, not no-how!

So if you fell asleep early or just had some other reason for missing the World Cup Proper Draw last night, live from The Babbage Islands, here is how our Bisons fared.

Group G Participants

World Rank: 14th
Qualification Group: Group Twelve
Qualification Record: 12-02-00 (38 points, 1st Place)
Style: 0.0 out of 5.0

One of those examples of a team so high in rank that they need not worry about things such as rosters, jerseys, home stadiums, or even style. They just show up to the match, step on the pitch, and the Spirits give them a 3-nil victory to appease their graces!

What can the Bisons expect? Well, considering the Bostopians averaged 2.43 goals a match and only allowed in 0.93 goals, the Bisons may be in for a long match. However, when you consider the fact that only two of Group Twelve's teams were above the Top 100 in the world, and only one was (barely) a Top 50, it is obvious to see that their qualification performances are no show to their abilities. They were a massive catgator in a tank of turtleducks...

When do the Bisons Face them? Matchday 03, at Pitape Stadium (HOME)

World Rank: 6th
Qualification Group: Group 6
Qualification Record: 09-03-02 (30 pts, 1st)
Style: +3.0

Now, the Bisons have never faced any time in this Group Draw before, though the nation of Valanora should be familiar to fans of Avatarian sports. Back in 2011.4, the Vanorians (not Valanorans, as would make sense) hosted the 17th World Cup of Hockey, which saw the Ice Bisons take to the rink and place into their now-perpetual Third Place over The Polar Islandstates...

But enough about a real sport... Back to football

With the highest ranked team in our Group coming out on Matchday 01, the Bisons are in for one hell of a rough ride coming right out of the gate. The Elves faced no team higher that Taeshan at rank Thirty-Three, and if you look to the Qualifications performances, they only automatically qualified due to their single victory and single draw over Taeshan. The rest of their group? All below the Top 50 and most, again, in the Lower 100... How do these behemoth teams get stuck with the lower rungs of the football world and manage to sink in goal after goal after goal without so much as breaking a sweat?!

Nonetheless, Valanora is a World Cup Legend, and playing them will be the highlight of this tournament. Expect this to be the game to decide it all...

When do the Bisons Face them? Matchday 01, at Pitape Stadium (AWAY)

World Rank: 32nd
Qualification Group: Group 15
Qualification Record: 11-03-00 (36 pts, 1st)
Style: 5.0 out of 5.0

Finally a team lower than us. Oh look, they drew three games in Group 15, a group actually filled with decent and dedicated teams.

Style... Oh [i]cao ni ma, they are a +5.0...[/i]

You know what other team was a +5.0? Mapletish! They came out of nowhere, knocked us off our groove, and spent the rest of the fourteen-game tournament making our lives miserable.

But there is a problem with that... We do not have fourteen games to find our balance. We have three... yes, I said correctly, THREE. Three short games to practice and perfect our formations, our shuffling, our dribbling, and our sniping before we face elimination... AGAIN!!!

Even though Sargossa is lower in rank than our Bisons, we have learned that rank in this tournament means less than nothing. Instead, what our men have to do is what they have been told to do since day one: Score early, and score often. When it comes to dealing with teams which purely focus on the offence, you have more opportunities to push through the defence; especially those in the midfield, created by the Sargossan unorthodox 4-1-3-2 formation. A single midfielder, behind a wall of forwards...

If the Duelling Mandos come out to play, let us hope they can bring on the pain...

When do the Bisons Face them? Matchday 02, at Pitape Stadium (AWAY)

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Copyright 2012.2 Avatarian Sports Programming Network. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
URL: http://www.aspn.com.gk/articles/WC/20127854
© 2012 Avatarian Sportts Programming Network

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Gazzette

Mangolana National team arrives in Saugeais

The Mangolana national soccer team arrived this morning in our fellow Rushmore nation Saugeais in preparation for World Cup 60, which will begin on Friday for the people of Mangolana (Thursday for those elsewhere). Mangolana has been drawn into group F and will be playing its first match against Akbarabad in Tapandie Stadium. Tapandie Stadium is located in the city of Metalton. Mangolana's other two matches will take place at Old Forest Stadium in Bugny, Saugeais. We will play fellow Rushmore nation Mytannion on Match-day 2, and perennial power-house, The Holy Empire on Match-day 3. Mangolana is once again expected to struggle in this World Cup much like they did in World Cup 59. Mangolana is thought by most to be inexperienced compared to there Group Mates, speaking of there group mates, lets take a quick look at what Mangolana faces here in the upcoming World Cup.

The Holy Empire

Managed/Head Coach: Juan Tzimisces

Probable Line-up: GK: Timothy Archer, DF: Palmer Eldritch, DF: Thomas Cole, DF: Garson Poole, MD: Dr Bloodmoney, MD: Tempunaut Addison Doug, MD: Joe Fernwright, MD: Agneta Rautavaara, MD: Tung Chien, FW: Hawthorne Abendsen, FW: Yancy

Usual Style: 3-5-2

How they qualified: They finished second in there group behind a strong surprise performance from the FSSO. In there 14 matches they 8 wins, 4 draws, and 2 losses, losing once to FSSO, and drawing them the other. They were by ranking, the top team in there group, but finished 3 points down on FSSO. In the first Play-off pod match, they defeated The Archregimancy 3-2. In there second play-off pod match, they defeated Micheal VIII 5-2 to secure there spot in World Cup 60.

How we think they will finish: There qualifying campaign but very shocking for them. They were thought to be able to run-away with the group, but instead, finished second. The extra matches from the play-off pods could both help them and hinder them. We think they will be able to put there qualifying performance behind them this time though and take the group with ease. Our Prediction: 9 points 1st in the group.


Akbarabad

Managed/Coached by: Unknown

Probable Line-up: GK:Tariq Iqbal, DR: Mustapha Aziz, DL: Mohammed Sharif, DC: Ihsan Akbar, DC: Shahid Akhtar, MR: Hossain Rahman, ML: Sarwar Akbar, MC: Zohaib Khan, AM: Jawad Khan, ST: Rezaul Karim, AM/FW: Zahid Hassan

Usual Style: 4-1-2-1-2

How they Qualified: They, like The Holy Empire, were thought to be the number one team in there group, but failed to live up to there ranking and finished second to Jedi8246 who if you can believe dropped in ranking following there qualifying preformance. Akbarabad finished with 7 wins, 5 draws, and 2 losses in group play with the two losses coming to Cowardly Pacifists and Octinstine. They finished two points down on Jedi8246, and two points up on Octinstine. In there first Play-off match they defeated Taeshan 3-0. Akbarabad would then go on to crush Ipeland 6-1 in there next match to qualify for the World Cup finals.

How we think they will finish: Once again, like The Holy Empire, Akbarabad, should feel dissapointed in there preformance in qualifying. They were by far the top team in there group, and yet they finished second thanks to there strong second half preformance. Here, it will do you no good to lose the first two matches, and try and win the third. Our Prediction: 1 point, 4th in Group.


Mytannion

Managed/Coached by: Unknown

Probable Line-up: GK: Demy de Zooijt, DL: Pieers Mesa, DR: Hannes Urz, DC: Martin Latka, DC: Ole Gyulla, DM: Musa Kiril, CM: Robin Hjik, AM: Niek van der Zwan, ST: Salum Merec, LW: Tomas Sivoli, RW: Imre Ulsson

Usual Style: 4-3-3

How they Qualified: Mytannion was tops in group 10, 5 points clear of Ancharmunn. Mytannion had a qualifying record of 10 wins, 3 draws, and 1 loss. There only loss came on Match-day 8 to Osarius 1-0 in Mytannion.

How we think they will Finish: Mytannion has been a perennial World Cup qualifier since World Cup 55 (not long ago) missed qualifying for World Cup 59 last time. They appear to have found a return to glory this term, by winning there qualifying group. They are the second to third best team in the group, and it could come down to the final Match-day of the group stage when they play Akbarabad to determine who will make it to the knock-out rounds with the presumably top of the group, The Holy Empire. Our Prediction: 4 points, 2nd in Group

Prediction of all Groups by order.


Group A
The Babbage Islands
New Montreal States
Valladares
Erathore

Group B
Cafundéu
Jeru FC
Pasarga
Milchama

Group C
Jeruselem
Bears Armed
Swartaz
The FSSO

Group D
Polar Islandstates
Chetkosk
Queer Poco el Mono Ara
Jedi8246

Group E
Saugeais
Astograth
Dorian and Sonya
Cotdelapoms

Group F
The Holy Empire
Mytannion
Mangolana
Akbarabad

Group G
Valanora
Bostopia
Sargossa
Gyatso-kai

Group H
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Cassadaigua
Vilita
Chenkorya

Key: Bold-Qualified. Italics-Win all Games

KO Round Predictions

Ro16
TBI 2-0 Chetkosk
Cafundéu 1-3 Bears Armed
Jeruselem 1-0 Jeru FC
Polar Islandstates 2-2 New Montreal States (AET 3-2)
Saugeais 0-3 Cassadaigua
The Holy Empire 1-0 Bostopia
Valanora 3-1 Mytannion
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1-1 Astograth (AET 1-1, PK 3-4)

Quarters
TBI 1-0 Bears Armed
Jeruselem 0-2 Polar Islandstates
The Holy Empire 1-2 Cassadaigua
Valanora 3-1 Astograth

Semi's
TBI 2-1 Polar Islandstates
Valanora 1-1 Cassadaigua (AET 1-1, PK 6-7)

Third Place match
Valanora 0-1 Polar Islandstates

Finals
TBI 0-2 Cassadaigua

As you can see, by our expert predictions which took many a moon to calculate in our brand new computing system thanks to the formula used causing the old system to execute code self-destruct to destroy itself before it was forced to absorb any more of the code, Cassadaigua will come out on top of Co-host favorite TBI in a final that will be remembered for years to come.

[Astograth]

Powell Pieran set down his glass and picked up the thick folders again. Dossiers on the three group stage opponents, another 29 just like them in the cabinet to the side. He didn't usually care for these things, but the FAF had provided and he might as well take a look.

In order now, let's see... Saugeais first, aye. Oh joy, the hosts. One of the inaugural matches, surely. The last time Astograth had been in of those was World Cup 57, and it hadn't turned out very well at all. They'd faced a strong team then, however, perhaps the Saugeais Knights were an easier opponent. On paper they were, given that they were weakest in Pot 1 and indeed under normal circumstances would never have been included there. Something to be thankful for? Maybe. The way things were going, it was dangerous to rely upon expectations. Football, and especially World Cup football, had a nasty habit of turning sour. Pieran should know, after all, given the two group stages he'd already reached and been unceremoniously eliminated from. If he lost the opening match, won the second and then lost the decisive one - for the third time - he'd quit faster than the FAF could sack him. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is FIX!

Anyhow, he flipped through the folder quickly, stopping only to eye the pretty graphs and colour pictures. They certainly didn't look dangerous. Most of them played in the domestic league, and Pieran could only contort his face when thinking about the level of the Astograthians who plied their trade there. Then again, he didn't think much of any club, world champions included. He liked to mutter about the things he could achieve if only he was in charge of those.

The strikeforce seemed like the Knights' strongest bit. Kuzman Ruslan, from the Vilitan league, was their centerforward, and flanking him were the ageing but still potent Dietmar Oztürk of the Séria A's Cosmpolitan and Dan Nagato of the Athenian Towns. A Citiz team! That guy was the real threat, then. 'Double man mark', Pieran scribbled with red pen before standing up and beaming. This wasn't a huge waste after all!

He set aside Saugeais and picked up the next one, groaning audibly. Cotdelapoms. That team still gave him nightmares, plus they all stank. In the World Cup 58 qualifiers they'd sent Olibondeka to the playoffs after a comprehensive 7-3 away loss and a 3-1 schooling at Grand Duke's Stadium. To say Pieran dreaded them was an understatement, though he probably took into consideration his hurt pride more than the fact that Carbonnier fielded such players as SK Franz Josef City' Timothée Riopel and Champions' Cup winner Jackson Diawara, who had terrorised club defenses around the world while at FKM.

They didn't have any Citiz-based players, so Pieran was at a bit of a loss as to what to do in order to keep this from being a waste of time. He decided to look at the formation, 4-3-3, and jotted down something about it being a 'perfect match' for his 3-4-3. He'd heard the pundits say something to that effect once, must be true. Then again, he'd heard the pundits say he was going to manage Polar Islandstates when he was just having a chat with that nice Ragnorak fellow. Yeah, he'd been rather amused when Atristain showed him a clip of that prick Kirkkegard blowing up on TV about it.

At last, Dorian and Sonya. Sorry, the Sylvanaes Queendom. No record against them. Hm. WC53 champions, but all he remembered from that final was falling asleep at half-time and then going out to walk the dog. It was quite pleasant with nobody around, really. 3-4-3 formation, excellent! Now who could he single out as dangerous? Damn. Jania Lassvanil, maybe? Number 41, yeah, she looked like a dangerous striker. Bit weird for a striker to play in thick padded gloves like the pictures showed, but she looked close to goal. Surely a threat. Right then, all done!

Pieran dumped the folder on his desk, picked up his glass, drank what was left and opened up his laptop to check the latest RLStates scores.