World Cup 60: RP Thread

by **Camerania** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:58 pm

"Good afternoon, I'm Barry Norman with your World Cup update.
It was a dismal matchday 4 for the FIghtin' Commies, coming after a close win in the previous match. After our win against Royalsoldiers, we weren't exactly expecting a win against number two Darmen, but we could always have hoped. The match just lived up to statistical expectations. We do, however hope to make a good showing as the visitors against Kiryu-shi tonight. In other news, CBC Sports will soon be bringing you a special Olympic Update by Ingrid Karlsson in preparation for the upcoming VII Games of the Olympiad. Stay tuned for your next update. Until then, I'm Barry Norman, keeping you posted."

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:00 pm

All good things could not last forever. Thirty minutes into the game, Yim Hwan-Sei scored the first goal. Three minutes later, he was off the pitch with an injury. Even though his loss couldn't be blamed for conceding two goals later on, it was a tragedy of significance, and Geun-Ho was ripping out his hair in patches trying to think about how to replace his top goal scorer - he was now wishing that they were back in the Archregimancy... or maybe... that was the solution, perhaps?

"Jeon-Min!" he called out.

Jeon-Min turned his head and removed the headphones. In truth, he looked ridiculous wearing his military garb, but more and more, he seemed the old friend that he had once been. "Yes?"

"I have a weird request."

"Okay, what is it?"

"I'll need you to pull some strings."

"Yes, what do you want?"

"No one else must know what you're about to do."

Jeon-Min gave Geun-Ho a grim eye. "Just say it!"

Geun-Ho, surprised after that little outburst, peeled in closer to Jeon-Min and whispered his instructions/request. "Take Hwan-Sei over to the Dreamed Realm."

Jeon-Min whispered back in a rather hoarse, crazed voice. "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

Geun-Ho tried to keep them calm. After he was assured no one else on the bus was listening, he continue to elaborate. "If it's possible that Yim Hwan-Sei can get back to the Dreamed Realm, he can get healed instantly - no injuries there, right? So the problem is getting him there first and then bringing him back. And ideally, we'll want to do this in three days' time. We don't want to get too far without our leading striker."

Jeon-Min paused before giving a stark reply. "You know, you put too much faith in this kid. Do you really think we're going to qualify, even if we have Hwan-Sei fit again? You're supposed to be here for the morale of the Empire. And besides that, we're going to have more problems than just getting to the Dreamed Realm with a little kid on my shoulders. People are going to ask questions. Where is Yim Hwan-Sei? Where is the assistant? Not to mention, my superiors are going to be asking questions. And all the while, you're going to have handle this team. Young, yes. Talented, no. Disciplined? Definitely not. And I can't guarantee that I'll be there and back in three days. More likely, three weeks, if at all. We're better off keeping this kid in the clinic until the injury is healed. And to be fair, I don't even know what injury he has. It could a torn ACL, and he'll probably never play again... or at least not for this team. He might not even be injured at all!"

Geun-Ho glared at Jeon-Min through half-opened eyes. "We both know he's injured. The team medic said that he's got a potential fracture on his shin. At best, it's a dislocation at the knee. And you're right. I don't know how long it will be, but I need him out there. Him, the team, you, me... we all need him out there. And at the moment, I'm willing to risk the trip to the Dreamed Realm to get him fit soon. And I'd take him myself, but I need to be here."

Jeon-Min nodded. "Well, if you're that focused on the goal, I might have an alternative solution for you." He slipped his headphones back on. "When we get back."

Kim couldn't believe what she was doing. Skipping a legitimate class to head over to the garden with Prof. Kim to talk about poetry... if her parents knew, they would hang their heads in shame. She slowly walked off the stone path and into the shaded garden by the campus pond. There, twirling his arms around in fluid circular motions, was Prof. Kim.

"Late you are," he said in punctuated chunks, poetically enunciating each part of the sentence.

"I'm sorry for my tardiness, Professor. I had to explain my absence to my other professor today."

"A-ga-sshi, your defense me not flatters." Prof. Kim stopped his motions. "You here to learn come."

Ae-Hwa nodded and put down her stuff. As she approached him, he thrust his hand towards Ae-Hwa. She managed to block it, but fell back on her own stuff, scattering the books and personal effects all over the ground. "You are clumsy!" Prof. Kim yelled, rising to his feet and pressing forward with the attack. "Defend yourself!"

Prof. Kim lunged with a fierce kick that threw Ae-Hwa back onto the pavement. A few onlookers marveled at an old man taking out his rage upon a young woman. Ae-Hwa coughed up, and tried to run away, but Prof. Kim demonstrated superior speed to block her exit. "Not only are you clumsy, you are weak." He took her by the arm and brought her back over his shoulder in the garden. By then, a pot of tea was steaming. He poured the tea into a small cup and offered it to Ae-Hwa. She refused at first, but then he said, "This tea will heal your injuries if you drink it." She was a little suspicious at first, but seeing no other alternative, she took the cup and had a little sip. In an instant, her body felt at ease. In fact, she immediately rose to her feet, to test the old man's assertions. Prof. Kim had his own cup of tea at hand.

"I'm sorry for the demonstration Ms. Song, but I needed to break you first before I could reform the artistic you. I have liberated your 'qi' blocks, and we can work together to unleash the poet in you. I hope that you are ready for your first lesson."

Ae-Hwa nodded. She quickly finished the tea. "For a moment, I thought you were going to kill me."

"Oh no," the Professor replied. "If I wanted to do that, I would have unleashed all of my fury without holding back. It is an important to hold your strength until the final moment, because if you reveal your full strength to your opponents, they know all your secrets. It is important to incrementally show your power, especially in educational circumstances. The teacher does not kill his students."

"Yes," Ae-Hwa said. "But why gong-bu?"

"The way of the fist and the foot is the way of the body at work. Your strongest fist begins in the foot, while your strongest kick needs a steady hand. And if you have blockages in between, you can only hinder your full potential. That is why I had to break you first. Now that your 'qi' is free to circulate, we can begin lesson one."

"Which is?"

"Pouring the tea."

Ae-Hwa was a bit confused. She glanced at the tea pot, thinking that this must be another joke. She went over to pour out the tea into her cup. On the hand, she found the pot too heavy to lift. On the other, she found it too hot to handle. She dropped the pot onto the ground.

"Clumsy!" Prof. Kim said. "You must learn to hold the pot."

"It's too hot and too heavy!"

Prof. Kim reached over to the ground where the pot fell and picked it up without a fuss. He replaced onto the heating mantle, giving his hand a quick blow. "Too cold, I'm afraid. We'll need to warm it up again."

"Warm it up? I've got burns on my hands!" Ae-Hwa pointed to the searing red marks on her fingers.

"And see my hands!" Prof. Kim replied, raising his own fingers. "But to hold this pot, you must master 'qi' flow. You must let the energy flow through you, not into you. You are the sieve of the universe, and the energy of the universe goes through you. You do not keep it, you handle it and let it go. We must practice this motion with our arms and legs. Bend yourself to the waves of the universe." And with that, Prof. Kim began to began and sway his arms and body. He saw the Ae-Hwa wasn't following him. "Bend and sway!" She immediately took to mimicking his actions. The two synchronized their motions, and soon enough Ae-Hwa could feel something different happening to her. She tried rationalizing it, but for some reason, she could the blood in her body move with the scintillating pulse of each heart beat. And once she could feel that, she realized that she could control her own heartbeat.

Prof. Kim slapped her face. "Focus on the motions! Do not get carried away with your own feelings."

"Hm?" She was still a bit dazed by her sudden eureka moment. It happened so quickly that she couldn't see the moment before it happened. One moment, she was copying Prof. Kim's actions, and then suddenly she transcended the physical body into a metaphysical state of mind. "Sorry, Professor."

"This is dangerous work, you can kill yourself if you are not careful with your motions. Do not lose the mind. Without the mind, the body becomes consumed by the universe."

"Sorry, it was just... mesmerizing. That's all I can say."

Prof. Kim then turned to the pot. "Ms. Song, you may be just ready to hold the pot and pour out the tea."

Ae-Hwa looked at the pot, which was now steaming hot. She could only imagine how hot the pot really was now, and so heavy as well. She cautiously approached the pot and reached out. Prof. Kim slapped her hand. "Don't be timid," he said. "Reach out, grip the pot. Let the energy flow." Ae-Hwa heeded the instruction and lunged her hand onto the pot handle. She was surprised at the cool feeling of the pot - it was almost chilled to the touch. And not only that, it was lighter than a feather. She looked at the pot, still steaming hot. "This must be some trick," she said, pouring out the tea. No sooner had she said that than did the pot suddenly brim with heat and density. She dropped it to the ground, blowing off her fingers tenderly.

"It is no trick," Prof. Kim answered, picking up the pot. "You lost focus. But you poured the tea. And that will be enough for today. Lesson one has been taught, and you have done marvelously. Next week, we will master lesson two."

"Lesson two?"

by **Jedi8246** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:10 pm

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Greetings. I'm Logan Dale, bringing you the Fenris Sports Corner. Our first item is the update on the World Cup. The past two games have been interesting ones. The Wyverns dominated the weak team of Ayrshire, bringing about a 1-0 victory. While some saw this as a weak performance on the part of Jedi8246, it was only a clear sign that the Wyverns were a superior squad. After scoring quickly in the first ten minutes of the game, secondaries played the rest of the game. While they didn't score at all, they held off the Ayrshire offense with ease. The second game was an intense one. Octinstine proved to be fair opponents. In what was a fierce defensive match, both teams held up against the other's offense. This grand showdown was a clear sign of the talent within Group 5. While a victory would have been nice, a draw is better than a loss. Looking forward, Jedi8246 is going against fairly weak teams for the next few weeks. Racking up wins will be essential going against the group tyrants Akbarabad. Our only blocker in the road to playoffs seems to be, unexpectedly, Cowardly Pacifists. The upstart team is performing well. A victory against them will be essential in asserting our dominance. Stay tuned after the break for more sporting news."

by **West Angola** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:20 pm

Coach Phillip Garren's Post-Game Press Conference:

Well, I think we can all agree that that was not unexpected. Stachland is an excellent team and they played with all the skill and poise that befits a top-40 team. We on the team are not worried by this loss, we had already planned for it and were not expecting to win tonight. Not to say that a win wouldn't have been great, but we were not staking our lives on a win. I would like to issue my congratulations to Lyle Verdak, his hat trick tonight was truly exceptional, and I must say he is one of the best players in the group if not the world.

That said, don't anyone in this room dare count us out. We have only one loss so far, and, with smart play, that won't change in our next game. We should be able to improve to 4-1 by beating Landarea, so we are by no means out of the running to qualify. We are an excellent team, Luke Parrish and Isaac Warren are two of the best forwards in the game today, we just need to nail down our weak spots and not make mistakes at critical junctions. I will do everything in my power to see this team qualify, on that, you have my word. I have time for a few questions, yes, you in front.

No, the lineup and playbook will stay the same for the next game. C'mon guys! We didn't blow it tonight, we played well, Stachland is a very good team! Next, you in the purple, go ahead.

Yes, we have made slight changes to our mindset in preparation for the next game, but we're remaining fairly much the same team. Next, yes, you in the corner.

Well, it's vanilla. I think you have the wrong room, sir. That's all I have time for today, I need to go over a few things with my team. Thank you.

West Angolan Match Schedule:

1. at Elstorm (258) W 3-0
2. vs. Terio (Unranked) W 1-0
3. at Licentiapacisterra (194) W 2-1
4. vs. Stachland (37) L 3-1
5. at Landarea (327)
6. vs. Camwood (85)
7. at Cassadaigua (13)
-Bye-
8. vs. Elstorm (258)
9. at Terio (Unranked)
10. vs. Licentiapacisterra (194)
11. at Stachland (37)
12. vs. Landarea (327)
13. at Camwood (85)
14. vs. Cassadaigua (13)

Won (3) Lost (1) Drew (0) Should Win (5) Should Lose (3) Might Win (1) Might Lose (1)

Projected Final Record (W-L-D): 8-4-2
Projected Final Group Position: 4th

Projected Final Group Order:

1. Cassadaigua
2. Stachland
3. Camwood
4. West Angola
5. Licentiapacisterra
6. Elstorm
7. Landarea
8. Terio

by **Karditan** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:11 pm

"Fucking Portugal." Dorian slammed his laptop closed in disgust.

Nearby, Pierre doubled over laughing.

"Shut up! A 7-0 loss isn't funny! South Africa did something funky with the scorinator, I'm telling you. And why does he keep making such a big point about that vuvuzela thing? He wants all his stadiums to sound like they're being attacked by a horde of angry killer bees?"

Pierre managed to hold back his mirth while his browser was busy loading. "If what I have read about the African region's geography is true, that is not at all an unlikely event." He pumped his fist into the air. "Oui! Beat Germany! Take that, you Nazis!"

"Yeah, you're one to talk about genocide, Mr. Milosevich."

"Dammit, why does everyone try to guilt me about that? All the middle eastern countries have made it blatantly clear that Muslims are the bad guys. Just look at what Turkey did to the Armenians, and he's right next door to me! I didn't want him to propaganda the shit out of my country and try to get my Muslims to revolt. "

"I don't get it; if you don't like Muslims, why did you RP that there are some in your country?"

"Because there is a bunch of Muslim countries around me; it would not be fair of me to say that I'm near Albania and yet don't have a sizeable minority of Muslims. I try to play this game with as much realism as I can. Not like you; you lie to your populace contstantly and RP that they are so dumb they believe your leader is a god."

"Well, again, I'm kinda modeling my country off of the FSSO."

Pierre snapped his fingers. "Oh, right. That explains the extraordinarily stupid populace- but there is a problem with that comparison."

Dorian turned his head a bit to the side. "What's that?"

"North Korea actually qualified for the World Cup."

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:28 pm

O-Damn O-Five

Ko-oren beat O-Damn 0-5 in a fantastic away game in match day four of the WC 60 Q. Ko-oren now tops group 14, is among the least conceding teams of the tournament (1st with only 1 goal conceded, but are not the only team to do so) and are still perfectly en route to something big here. That said, Ko-oren played teams ranked 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th and the big teams are now coming. Bears Armed, Civil Citizenry and Allamunnic States are all ranked higher than Ko-oren and as the Greenblues are now the team to beat in the group, other teams will be more motivated than ever to beat the Sélésáó.

On the other hand, the Greenblues did stage some show yesterday – scoring 5. That’s exceptional for a team that usually focuses on defence and defence only. Shiribeshi netted a penalty after 6 minutes, following a yellow card for the O-Damn goalkeeper that fouled co-striker Tokachi the minute before. After 15 minutes, Tokachi scored his second of the qualification stage with a scorcher from 20 meters out, and he was among the most surprised to see that the shot went in. Then again, the cannonball hit the crossbar before going in and it will probably be one of the most beautiful goals of the qualifying stage for Ko-oren. After that, the team was instructed to regroup and make sure that defence was in top shape and to not concede anything. Once this was secured, Fenner and Hel made the lives of the O-Damn midfield to a hell with clever passing and did not lose the ball to the opposition. After 45 minutes, Ko-oren dominated the match and lead 2-0 to boot.

In the second half, coach Lelantos made his very first offensive substitute so far. Ko-oren was obviously in a momentum and it would seem weird not to exploit it. Nothing better than getting some confidence just before the herculean task of playing BA, CC and AS. Mentu Maat, one of the country’s top talented strikers came onto the field instead of Ul Leire, a silent but decent defensive midfielder. With three strikers, two wing midfielders and two central midfielders, the Greenblues sought to aid the goal difference a little bit. This took off after 55 minutes: Fin Fenner headed a cross by Idrasil home, following a very bad corner by said Idrasil. After 70 minutes, Mentu Maat scored his very first international goal (0-4) after being launched by a great pass from Koyane Shiribeshi. He found himself alone in front of the poor goalkeeper and made no mistake. The 0-5 was again for Tokachi, who channeled his anger over his non-scoring-reputation into another fierce shot that left the O-Damnian defence no chance.

Match Stats:
0 Goals 5
0 Shots on Target 9
5 Shots total 15
3 Yellow Cards 2
0 Red Cards 0
29% Possession 71%

by **Hutt River** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:28 pm

The game against the Capivaria Group had gone rather well for Lister. The team wouldn't win, especially after their 1-0 win over The Holy Empire yesterday, a team 'they' lost 3-1 to. Still the whole team was pleased to come away from the stadium with a point. Rimmer hadn't turned up... yet. Lister's third bout of luck of the day had just reached it's peak and was starting to decline as he, Kryten and The Cat, waiting for his regular delivery of fish, walked up to the postbox late that night to check the mail.

The three were about halfway back with Lister carrying the post, a few letters and the packet of fish, when a familiar hand puppet popped it's head/body around the corner. Rimmer stepped out wearing a gingham dress and pigtails as last time.

"Mr Flibble's very cross", Rimmer said in a demonic way, "You shouldn't have run away from him. What do we do with people who make you cross, Mr. Flibble?"
"Mr. Arnie fries them alive with his hex vision" Mr. Flibble 'said'
"That's right, Mr. Flibble"

Rimmer's eyes glowed red and a beam of energy shot out of them. Luckily a slit second before that happened, the Cat, Lister and Kryten ran off without the post. The beam of energy missed their feet by inches and hit the post, dissolving it, including all the fish. They ran down passageways before they found a relatively safe space to stop, which was right next to a fire axe.

"Rimmer's got the Hex Virus again?" The Cat asked Kryten. The lock on the door to the axe was dropped onto the floor without any of them noticing

"Yes sir, and he has the same powers. Telekinesis, telepathy, hex vision, we've already see that et cetera". Kryten replied. The axe door opened

"How did he get it? He's on Earth, not Red Dwarf." Lister said. The axe was unbolted but stayed up somehow.

"Well this is a rare case of 'returning hex'. The virus is ususally killed off but some of the many replications may stay behind and multiply after hiding as cells for a while." The axe shot away from it's case. The Cat and LIster got out of it's way, but Kryten didn't notice and the axe went straight into his back.

"Krytie are you alright man?"
"I appear to have a quite large fire axe embedded in my spine. One of those things would probably but quite a big crimp on your day."

Lister managed to pull the axe out of Kryten's back. Kryten then went on a strange rant type thing, which consisted of many head bangs before he was back to normal. Ish.

"We need your luck sir. What we need is some sort of disease ridding device for holograms." Kryten said adressing Lister
"Like this one?" Lister replied holding up a black square thing
"What a stroke of luck!" The Cat said cheerfully
"Now we need a projection unit." Kryten said
"Here you go." Lister held up a blue round shape thing with a thing sticking out of the bottom.
"The last thing now is a F-13482 Bolter." Lister held out a something which looked like a bolt.
"That's a F-13483 but close enough" Kryten put all of the machines together

At that moment Rimmer stepped around the corner. Kryten pushed a button. Rimmer fell to the ground and writhed around for a bit. After a few second Rimmer returned to his normal self, albeit knocked out.

"It's best to leave him out on the bench for a while, probably with Mr. Flibble too, considering the match starts in an hour." Lister said

by **Octinstine** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:46 pm

Octinstine Draw! (Again)

So for the third time in in four qualifying matches out national team draw, with the other
being a win to keep the undefeated recored. At least this time the stalemate was against
a higher ranked team so some pride can be taken in the result.

The game itself seemed to be a typical boring draw with the only moments of magic for
either team coming in the form of the goals. Jedi scored first in the match after a brilliant
free kick on the 38th minute from right midfeilder Sam Leon. The Octinstine reply took time
in coming but eventualy in the 61st minute the Jedi defense was broken by center half Mark
May with a powerfull header from a corner.

The rest of the match was a dull afair with niether team wanting to lose the point which resulted
in quite a few early exits from the fans. This result leaves Octinstine as one of only two undfeated
teams in the group but still points and places offf the top-spot.

by **Queer Poco el Mono Ara** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:52 pm

A fist pump at the final whistle and Chrétien celebrated his second win in as many games with the Queer Poco el Mono Ara national side.

In keeping with his comments after the game against Myanmar, the Cotdelapomais man rang in the changes with several new faces appearing on the roster, including 32 year old Augustus attacker Bart Wilson and his league team mate Arsenio Jackson. Royal Khaldoon central midfielder Marlon Edwards was also handed an international lifeline as was former Queer Poco number 1 Davi da Guia who returned to his position between the sticks, replacing Ron Southgate.

Wilson repaid the coach’s faith in him with the opening goal of the game and an assist for midfielder Lionel Johnson. The Whites went 3-0 up through Angel Martinez who found space at the back post to head home from an Aydin Sukur corner before Boring Paradise pulled one back.

Abel Cain scored for the fourth consecutive international game to restore Queer Poco’s 3 goal lead before a last ditch effort from the home side’s Thomas Rispin made it 4-2.

-----

“So, you’re a scientist?” The awkwardness in Vanessa’s minivan was obvious for all to see if anyone was unfortunate enough to peek through the window.

“Yeah.” He replied.

“Do you have a name?” She said, making a point of not taking her eyes off the road while she talked to him.

“Alexej. Or Dr. Ramaker.”

“Ooh, Dr. Don’t suppose you have any ID secreted about your person somewhere?”

“Sadly not. It’s one of the things you forget to take when you are ejected across realities in the dead of night when you weren’t expecting it.”

“Ejected across realities?”

“Yes. Across realities.” Dr. Ramaker seemed taken aback, as if crossing realities was something not out of the ordinary. “You realize there are several thousand alternate realities in existence, each one differing from the other, from something vague and obscure to something more obvious. Crossing between isn’t something that everybody can do, it’s not something I realized I could do.”

“You did it all by yourself?” Vanessa was becoming more and more intrigued. Her paranormal research had been a bust, she’d never let on to anyone that it was getting her down and she was planning on quitting and getting a regular job.

“No, not by myself. I’m a scientist not a bloody wizard. I had been working on a machine to cross over realities when I nipped to the kitchen during the night to grab a glass of water, something happened and now I’m here…”

“You were building a reality crossing machine in your kitchen?”

“Yeah, why not.” Dr. Ramaker raised his eyebrow. He didn't have a workshop, he had a two bedroom house in the suburbs where he had to make the best of whatever space he had and the device he'd been working on had been sat in the middle of his dining table for days as he was getting closer to completing it.

The minivan slowed and Vanessa turned to Alexej. A serious look crossed her face. “Everybody knows everybody’s business on my street and me returning home with a naked man in my minivan will have all the tongues wagging. As such, I’m going to ask you a favor…” she paused as she looked into the back of the van. “Can you pop back there until I can back the van into the garage.”

“Errm, are you serious? There doesn’t look like there’s much room back there.” Alexej squinted at the mess of equipment in the back of the van.

“Yeah….”

Alexej clambered into the back of the minivan and nestled in amongst Vanessa’s paranormal research equipment and began fiddling with things. “What’s this?” he asked holding up a heat residue scanner used for detecting traces of heat in locations where poltergeists may have been recently.

“It’s a heat residue scanner, I use it in my research.”

“Okay….”

by **Capivara Group** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:08 pm

A brace by Abedi Ronaldo kept Capivara Group afloat in a dismal match.

That would be the headline, if I was a journalist, but I am not.

...

HOLY

*BLEEEEEEEEP*

What the *bleep* is WRONG with our team? This wasn't football. It looked more like "*bleep* drunken stumbling about" if you ask me. The only thing that kept this *bleep* *bleeeeeeep* from being a rout was the suberb man... er, marking done on Cat. Headmaster was way off alone in the right flank - what was he doing there? He spent *bleep* half of the *bleep* game offside! Then we got Detonator sent off, then that *bleep* *bleeeep* of *bleep* Zenon practically gives them a goal. Then the stupid *bleep* puts that has-been Bráulio to play, *bleep* he was a total waste of *bleep* space. Our team spends the rest of the *bleeeep* game passing the ball around as if we weren't *bleep* losing 2-0! Then, as luck, have it, Abedi Ronaldo manages to actually *bleep* play football for once and scores twice. At least, if you are going to lose, make it look like you're putting out a *bleeeeep* effort you *bleep* *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*"

by **Astograth** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:16 pm

From the Archives of RL Sports
World Cup 4

England:
Brazil wrote:USA 1 - 0 England

WTF Margaret??? Saw this on my phone earlier and thought it was 1-10, WTF. Shouldn't have signed up knowing you're using that bullshit RLFS scorinator.

Bolivia: You poor thing.

England: Hardly one to talk when you only have to play one match before the final round

Bolivia:
Brazil wrote:Group 4
Uruguay 8 - 0 Bolivia

Sorry, you were saying?

Czechoslovakia: Hey, I'm the one most screwed over here.

Latvia: Ahem.

England: What kind of stupid format is this anyway? Two groups of 4, one of 3 and one of 2, are you high Brazil?

Brazil: Weird format would've been avoided if India, Turkey, France, Scotland and everyone else hadn't gone all prima donna on me. Furthermore, there was no scorination error, just bad luck on your behalf. Get on with those rubber chickens.

England:
Brazil wrote:Spain 1 - 0 England

Yeah, I don't even care anymore. Don't know if I'll sign up again.

Hungary: Friendly sometime?

England: Whatever.

Brazil: Hey, need someone to scorinate my win over Uruguay in the title decider

Uruguay: ((OOC: Overconfident much?))

Brazil: This is the OOC thread you know. But yeah, of course I'm confident. Expect 200,000 at the Maracanã

Argentina: I'm not signed up, but I'm sure we can agree I'm neutral. I'll do it.

Brazil: Yeah, I'll bet Uruguay agrees! Good to have a neutral scorinator, wouldn't want to look like Italy (no offense lol)

Brazil:
Argentina wrote:
MD3 FINAL ROUND
(Title-decider)
Estadio de Maracaná, Río de Janeiro
Brazil 1 - 2 Uruguay

wat

by **Yesopalitha** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:57 pm

HVR - After Match 4

Many fans are congratulating us in our 4-0-0 start to this qualifying campaign. Thank you. Defeating Audioslavia, Harjeland, Polar Islandstates, and now Traila, has put us on top of the group with twelve points. It's give us confidence that we may actually have a chance at qualifying this time around. There is still a lot more ball to be played, but why not us this time?

The game over Traila was not pretty, but we'll take it. Jane scored both goals, in the second half, after a lackluster start. Jonah should be commended - two goals in four games is a pretty darn good feat.

Looking ahead, though... The next match should tell us if we are indeed the forerunners of this group or not. Pasarga awaits at their home arena, second in the group with ten points - three wins and one draw. A win over them will cement us in the drivers' seat, with two easier games afterwards to end the first leg. A loss will put Pasarga at the top of the group, and potentially put us in a tie for second place with Polar Islandstates, with us being head of the Terns due to head-to-head record. It would be best for us if we did win this game - it would put us ahead by quite a bit so early in the campaign.

Naisi should be complemented on how fast he has adjusted to playing at a national team level. Noah and Michael have done a great job educating him and helping him, and now, he is having a good time out there keeping people from attacking Jonah one-on-one up close. Sir James sure does know how to pick his players, and we are looking more and more every day like a cohesive team.

It would indeed be nice to get an away win against Pasarga. It would speak volumes to the fact that this team is growing. We are finally realizing our potential, and embracing the fact that we can play well, and should play well, for each other, for ourselves, and for our fans.

One thing is for certain - watching our games are sure as hell entertaining. So, keep it up, y'all fans. Peace out.

by **Wight** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:00 pm

by **Alexanderburn** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:10 pm

"And we're back from half-time, the match is about to start shortly. But first, why do you think that Alexanderburn has the lead here?" asked Michael, one of the commentators.

"I believe that their excellent midfield has helped to clog South Icemark's offense from scoring any goals thus far, and combined with a lethal counterattack, this team can be a real danger," noted Joe, another commentator. "Take their draw against Akbarabad, for example. That was some really stellar football from Alexanderburn."

"Alright, thank you, Joe. Now back to the game!"

The second half shaped up to be even more interesting than the first one. South Icemark decided to use one of their three substitutes during the break, and it seemed to be paying off. It finally looked like the team might be able to challenge the unranked Alexanderburn.

"And that's a superb run by South Icemark. I just wish we knew the players' names. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER - THAT'S A GOAL! Goal for South Icemark! That puts the score at 2-1, and the home nation is starting to catch up. This may be one of the most interesting games of the group! The game is back on!"

At this point, in the 52nd minute, the South Icemark team looked a whole lot hungrier, and started to become satisfied after scoring a goal. Yet it would take a lot more than a single kick to get the three points.

"We're here in the 72nd minute, and it looks like Alexanderburn will use its first substitution. Logan Massie is going on for Tristen van der Pol. This is indeed a strange move for William Kingsley to make, but van der Pol has not converted anything in this match yet."

It looks like the change was wasted. The Alexanderburnese team was starting to come back, yet they did not prove to be dangerous until the 79th minute.

"This is Frederiksen with the ball. He crosses it over to Austerlitz, and the goalie has no chance! THIS GAME IS OVER! Alexanderburn has just secured their lead again here in South Icemark with a beautiful goal and a score of 3-1! Unbelievable!"

Just minutes later came another shocker.

"This is Massie. He looks to the goal and shoots. FANTASTIC! Massie just drills home Alexanderburn's fourth goal of the match. This is it, folks! There is no way at all that South Icemark can come back from this. Alexanderburn leads 4-1, what a game."

The game was almost over. Three minutes of stoppage time was added, and the last play of the match was underway.

"South Icemark kicks, and it's a goal! BUT WAIT! The referee was holding up the offside flag! Oh, no. South Icemark has officially been crushed.
What a great match of football! That's the whistle, folks! This game was unbelievable! The result is incredible. Alexanderburn moves on with the full three points to move out of last place. Congratulations, and we'll see you later in Portsmouth. Good night!"

South Icemark 1-4 Alexanderburn (full game)
15' - Eric Austerlitz - SI 0:1 Alexanderburn
24' - Torben Frederiksen - SI 0:2 Alexanderburn
52' - South Icemark Player (unknown) - SI 1:2 Alexanderburn
79' - Eric Austerlitz - SI 1:3 Alexanderburn
82' - Logan Massie - SI 1:4 Alexanderburn

by **Pasarga** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:14 pm

Torgos Tribune ~ Of Fire

That is right ladies and gentlemen, the Liga De Fuego, thought to be on life support is back on following two seasons of not being run and a third season in which it is suspended is back and ready to roll, albeit with a few minor changes. For the time being each team will only able to send their allotted two spots into the Champions Cup, and the Globe Cup extra spot will be determined by the Copa winner if it is eligible to participate in the event. Also, the prize money for each spot has been readjusted to satiate the Pocoan concerns of Pasargan dominance in the upper tier of the Liga. That being said, fans of the Liga should rejoice that what was once thought as a dead league has been successfully brought back from the depths of the dead thanks to clever negotiating and determination on both sides to make it work.

In international news, the Wanderers are proving quite formidable, having secured an unblemished record, although not a perfect record, through the first few weeks of qualifying. A particularly testy affair with Audioslavia in which the side was able to sneak away late with all three points has been the highlight of the first half thus far. Eyþóra Skarphéðinsdóttir's leadership and great form from the title run with Baskita has been particularly pleasing for Wanderer supporters and manager Abel Chevsnoski as well who is facing the sack if the side does not make the Finals and perhaps if the Wanderers don't somehow find their way into the second round should they qualify. For those wishing for more attacking football from the national team, this is seen as a potential plus if the Wanderers fail to live up to expectations, but to come at the cost of the Wanderers fortunes seems to put many rather preferring good results for the side as they continue to venture forth and represent the country in the international arena.

by **Polar Islandstates** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:25 pm

And just why are they naked, anyway? I don't get it. The whole not wanting to release names thing, okay, I can just about get around that. But the lack of any clothes at all? Very odd. I've even played against bears, but this is something else entirely.

So I'm on the bench, rather than actually playing. Details.

Sigh. 3-1 to the Terns and I suppose I should be happy. True to his word, Joachim has rested me and played a three pronged attack with Ellis, Diedrich, and Alexsandr, and, true to their job descriptions, they've been lethal. One goal each from the three of them. Whilst I sit here. On the bench. We're winning. The Puhaluxians are relentlessly attacking and we've held them to just the one goal so far. So I should be happy. Shouldn't I? Why am I not happy?

Well, because I'd rather be playing, obviously. Maybe I need to focus more on the goals, and less about how I look to everybody. I just don't want to become a laughing stock. Which I kindof feel I already am to some people. Or to prove them wrong. Me and Sol. We can take on the world. We've done it before, we'll do it again. We can, given time, start things off properly, and show the press that we're not past it. I wonder what he's thinking, actually. Up in the stands up there. He's been to watch SK more than any other team in the past season, presumably to check up on me more than the others. And there he is, up in the stands, without me to watch. I hope he's not too impressed with Ellis and Diedrich. I know the time will come when they're the top choices. Thor knows they're talented beyond belief. Just, I don't want it to be yet, you know? I'm not worried about Alexsandr. He plays deeper than I could anyway,and besides, we've played in the same lineup countless times. Plus, I already know I'm not as good as he is. He and Jorgen, they run the show. They're the most talented players in the side by a long way, really. There's no point comparing myself to AvS. I'd already be fighting a losing battle if I tried that one.

Ah, slani. 3-2. Joachim's not going to like that one. Still, two minutes left, I doubt we can mess this up, even now.

Nope, didn't think he'd like that. That was one almighty rocket he gave them. Joachim's usually such a strong defensive coach, as well. If if was up to him we wouldn't play half as offensively as Sol has us do. So, this is something to talk about. Julius' inexperience, perhaps? Or maybe Gammel's just having an off day? Or maybe the centre midfield isn't adjusting well to being part of a three rather than a two. Odd. Hauge's usually so strong at things like that.

Me? Warm up? Yes. Didn't think I'd get any game time, if I'm honest. So what, thirty seconds if I'm lucky? I'm a time wasting tool, but I don't even care. Even from the bench, Amadeus Irndtor can be useful, oh yes. Ouam-Ouam and Timo had to discover that the hard way when I rescued their asses on more than one occasion this season. Title winners again. Feels good.

So, wonder who I'm going on for. Kit off. Stretches done. Fourth official checks my boots, good stuff, good stuff. Let's get me on there! Joachim hands the assistant the note, it's Ellis. Okay. Wait patiently for a break in play. Seconds counting down now, can't be much time at all.

Say, that's a hell of a ball from Iulian...

Oh, Ellis, what a finish.

I guess that means I'll be going on for Diedrich instead?

No?

Full time whistle?

Slani.

Straight down the tunnel I go. I don't care if it looks bad. No, Joachim, no I will not shake your hands.

Come back soon, Sol.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:31 pm

A deathly silence hung over the home dressing room. Audioslavia had, yet again, failed to score in forty-five minutes of football against a lower-ranked team. The crowd had grown restless, boos ringing out throughout the stadium whenever Borduria maintained posession for an extended period, which quickly spilled over to Audioslavia's posession periods if the team failed to pass its way out of its own half soon enough.

That wasn't the cause of the silence, mind, rookie midfielder Txordin Velazquez had just piped up. A matter of seconds after manager Kelly Sporadic had finished his five minute rant about not obeying orders, straying from positions and tactical channels, and re-iterated his orders to stay tight in midfield, to attack cautiously, not wanting to throw too many men into the attack and risk being torn apart via counter-attacks a la the defeat to Pasarga, Txordin had opened his mouth; "I think I should push up to play alongside Weverton. We need me to get forward more often. I'm wasted in my current position."

The only sound that had eminated from the rest of the dressing room had been a loud, dramatic sigh from striker Marc Vauvenargues. Weverton Sporadic, the manager's son, had opened his eyes wide and stifled a pained, expectant smile, ready for his manager and father to flip out. Kelly Sporadic merely stood, still, silent, lips pursed, unmoved.

Time passed.

The silence ended with merely the words, 'perhaps you're right'.

As the players streamed out of the tunnel for the second half, Marc Vauvenargues stayed behind.

"Why the hell are you taking advice from that twerp?"

"Don't question my orders, Marc".

vauvenargues skulked off down the tunnel. He would only play twenty minutes of the second half.

FINAL SCORE

Audioslavia 1 (Velazquez 72)
Borduria 0

by **Vilita** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:41 pm

Jungle Cats Record First Win

Vilita Scrape Past Lowly tidal wake

After suffering through the agony of defeat to a team that never even showed up while a giant bird invaded the pitch, then falling to the lowest ranked team in Group 13, the Jungle Cats knew they needed all three points on Matchday 4, or they may as well just not show up for Matchday 5.

It was the first ever meeting between Vilita and the tidal wake, the former a World Cup Champion and the latter a debutant at the bottom of the KPB rankings without a single recognizable player in their roster. In fact, there wasn't even a roster printed in the match program.

For the Jungle Cats, they were able to return to the pitch with their full lineup after the suspensions to the players who were red carded in Lymantatia had expired. Despite having the full lineup available to them, co-managers Wrice and Massa decided to stick with Cednia Beach's Jaqe Planst in net. Despite bearing much responsibility for the Matchday 3 defeat against the Lavonian Islands, Planst was in good form for Cednia Beach AFC in the Champions League leading the Coconuts through the group stage for the third time in four seasons. Coach Wrice insisted on giving Planst one more shot to restore his confidence Internationally before the Vilita National Team started playing tougher opposition once again. Regular goalkeepr Nycflala Kater took the match off and was not part of the squad, with Arcticala Inlet's Aranora Jaded backing up Planst from the bench.

It was a far more succesful day for Planst who saved all 3 attempts the tidal wake put on target, not so much as allowing a rebound, pushing two shots away for a corner and the third held comfortably.

It is unlikely that Planst will retain his place in the lineup as the Jungle Cats travel to Iturributa for Matchday 5, a crucial match, as all matches will be for the Jungle Cats after their unexplainably poor start to the competition. It is expected that Nycflala Kater wil return for the majority of the remaining matches.

Despite claiming the three points against the tidal wake, the Vilita National team was far from convincing as they were held goalless for the opening hour of play. Steffyn Siazzu, the overwhelming favorite to score the games winning goal, was introduced to a raucus applause at the start of the second half. In the end, it wasn't Siazzu but Lita Adjei that broke through for the Jungle Cats.

Adjei, who was stuck in the Yorozuya in an ill-conceived loan and sponsorship scheme with Vilaye Energy Drinks, was finally getting the chance to prove himself in both the Vilitan League, and, as a result, for the National Team.

Adjei converted just after the hour mark to keep alive the faint hopes of the Vilitan faithful that they can still come back from their 8-point deficit and at least claw back to the second position in the group to give it a whirl in the low-probability playoff round.

Resaie Kentiak and Kristofer Kilpter entered the match in the final 20 minutes to keep control through the "Best Defense is a good Offense" strategy, maintaining possession and preventing the tidal wake from having any opportunity to strike back.

Unfortunately for the Jungle Cats, they gained back no ground on the leaders, who were all victorious as well. The next test for Vilita will be a trip to Iturributa, where uncertainty still surrounds the challenge ahead. After breaking free from Astograth, Iturributa could become the next Turori, a young, spunky National Team chipped off the edges of a Cup of Harmony Champion that causes problems on its debut before becoming a perennial World Cup Quarter Finalist.

The Jungle Cats will have to be wary of the threat presented by the low-ranked but highly skilled Iturributa side. Each match for the Jungle Cats from this point forward will have to be treated like an elimination match, especially the 6 pointers against the teams in the top half of the table. Even in victory, the Jungle Cats have not looked good enough to advance from a group that looked on the surface to have few strong challenges for the top spot.

	the tidal wake
:: Goalscorers :: :: 63' Lita Adjei	:: Goalscorers ::
:: Best Player: Riksa Valjariia :: Worst Player: Kadi Molali :: Shots on Target: 5 :: Corner Kicks: 4	:: Best Player: Unknown :: Worst Player: Unknown :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 2

Vilita Jungle Cats (3-(1-4)-2) ::
[GK] Jaqe Planst, [D] Ritopa Simafela, [D] Kadi Molali, [D] Niubo Deneli, [DMC] Retiso Buran, [ML] Rexii Tzikas, [MC] Manolis Kontalroma, [MC] Jomur Hulyer, [MR] Riksa Valjariia, [FC] Lita Adjei, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai
BENCH::
[FC] Yves Gadois, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [M] Jian Lejsrma, [M] Steffyn Siazzu, [U] Resaie Kentiak, [D] Uajiala Pulkki, [GK] Aranora Jaded

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Retiso Buran >>> Steffyn Siazzu
(71) - Ritopa Simafela >>> Resaie Kentiak
(73) - Riksa Valjariia >>> Kristofer Kilpter

by **Falconwhereveryouare** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:57 pm

The Eagle's Eye
The top dawg, yo!
SPORTS
Brace yourselves

By Otis Birmingham

In an impressive display, the Falcons actually put up a fight against one of the best teams in the world. We, alone, in this game, outscored all of the Dragons' of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega opponents in qualifiers in World Cup 59. Well, not really we, it was actually a brace courtesy of Art Jarrel, two brilliant shots from well outside the box that both found the inside side of the goal. Vladimir and the Defenders (they're considering forming a band) had a predictably bad game against such experienced opponents, however; an absolutely terrible job covering the pass led to over eight easy shots on goal in the second half alone. Vladimir made great plays to stop six of those shots, but the two he let through combines with two from earlier sealed three points in favor of the Dragons.

Calling all Falcon fans! If you come over to 19th Century Bears to support our Boys in Blue and Yellow, a delegation of Falconians will be handing out free electric shavers!

by **Alexanderburn** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:58 pm

"Boys, I'm very impressed with your match yesterday." noted coach William Kingsley.

The boys cheered. The MVP of the match, Eric Austerlitz, was raised above everybody's heads and sent down to the coach.

"As you know, tonight we have a home match against United commonwealth of Ayrshire. I'm expecting a great thrashing like yesterday, at the very least. Anything less will be a great upset considering our performance thus far," he stated.

"You boys also know that some of you haven't started yet, let alone played. That's why tonight, I'm allowing many of you to make your debut in this World Cup for the Alexanderburnese national football team."

The boys roared in excitement. This was the breakthrough moment that some of them had been waiting months, maybe even years for. The lineup for tonight was to feature a mix between fresh, young blood and experienced and skilled players.

"On my clipboard, I have the starting line-ups for our next two games. Now based on tonight's performance, I may or may not change how the roster looks like for tomorrow night's match against Octinstine. Nevertheless, here it is!"

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn vs. United commonwealth of Ayrshire)

-------------------- Cremonesi ---- Massie -------------------
------ Frederiksen -------- Schroeder -------- Sirois ------
-------------------- Schaefer --------- Walker -------------------
--------- Barros ------- Hooper ------- Milton ---------
----------------------------- Moulton ------------------------------

Modification: +3

The team was shocked, yet very excited for each other. Of tonight's starting eleven, only three players - Cremonesi, Frederiksen, and Schroeder - started the game against South Icemark just yesterday. Even world-class goalie Alexander Nordaglio is getting a day off, yet the team has nothing to worry about, as backup goalkeeper Dale Moulton has one of the best clean sheets in the nation.

"Alright, boys, are we ready to win?"
"Yes, sir."
"Ready, break!"

by **Saugeais** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:01 pm

Matchday 5, coming at ya live!

by **Equestrian States** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:02 pm

ESPN: Equestria Sports Programming Network
Equestrians Smash Earent en Route to Shutout
by Steve McNotapony

CANTERLOT – It was an day in the park for the Equestrians yesterday, as the team throttled Earent 4-0 after scoring three times in the first half. Leaping ahead in the opening minutes, the team never looked back down at the Earent squad that failed to challenge a single jump-ball.

Starting off the scoring was Rapid Dash, whose 3rd minute bullet made the Earent goalkeeper’s inexperience clear for the world to see. All night long, the Equestrians seized upon the ineptitude of their opponent in the air. Though the Pegasai refused to take full advantage of their aerial capabilities, they did an extraordinary number of passes through the air. There was little doubt that the team was performing near top form.

Yet there were weaknesses, the defense continued its fairly dismal performance, giving up a number of opportunities. However, they were few and far between in comparison to the last match. Only a few times did it actually seem like the Earent team might score.

Thunderlane again showed why he is a starter, with a goal in the 18th minute that was cushioned further by Apple Jack’s 25th minute drive. At halftime, the Equestrian fans celebrated their good fortune with a rousing singing of the national anthem. Perhaps the Earent team was angry, but they came out stronger in the second half.

But it was not enough. With the addition of a goal by Fire Dash, the Equestrians finished off the Earent team having controlled the ball for a solid 60 minutes of play. For both Earent and the Equestrian States, the match was a record-setter: Earent with its most humiliating defeat, and the Equestrians tying their largest margin of victory, but breaking the old record by not allowing a single goal.

Next up for the Equestrians: a short flight to the Sanian Confederacy, where the two Pony Lands teams will face off against each other in a long-anticipated rematch of the Equestria Cup II Championship.

by **Gyatso-kai** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:07 pm

.:: Unincorporate Town of Hoovesdale, Central Kelosi Province, Earth Kingdom, Gyatso-kai
1535 hours local time (UTC+8), 9 June 2012.2

As the activity around the town of Hoovesdale began to settle into the afternoon lull, a lone patrol of clones began making their way around border wall of this frontier village. It was a still developing town; with the ponies who inhabiting the town only recently finished constructing the city hall, there was still a way to go.

The leading clone in the patrol was a sergeant, whose shoulder pauldron carried the dark-green pads of member of the 122nd Legion. He was just the 'standard' clone; no special armour attachments, no special communication devices mounted to his helmet, no special pack designed for weeks on excursion. Behind him stood three commandos, who were in every way the opposite of him: Whereas the sergeant was tall and sleek, the commandos were solid as if there were comprised of permacrete. Their armour bore add-ons and extras which at times made the standard clones --- called "white jobs" by their special forces brethren --- jealous and uneasy around these men.

"Alright, time to report in," the sergeant uttered to himself as the exited the massive wall of the city. The gates before them slowly opened, and as the sergeant walked through, the commandos heard him click out of the comm circuit.

"Guess Sergeant White-Job had enough of us," spoke the commando in the rear of the group. His backpack had an extensive series of antenna sticking out of it , and with the commbox on the side of his helmet, he was clearly brought along for communications assistance. "I know we are soooo boring."

The lead commando turned back and turned his hand to show two fingers --- the clone equivalent of the backhand --- before sighing. "I swear, Sev. One of these days I am just going to come back there and knock you senseless."

"Oh, big talk from the sergeant. Watch out, vode," the communications clone --- RC-12-2887 --- spoke as he held his arms out in submission. Fiv, the oldest of the four, knew his brother was just as tired of these patrols as he was and gave his sergeant a bat on the back.

"Come on, Sarge... Just let him blow off steam."

"And why do we need to do that, Two-Eight-Eight-Eight?" interjected the clone sergeant at the front of the line; obviously done with his Republic Command conversation, he had cut back into the comm circuit without the commandos noticing.

Probably used the command override, haran white job...

"Sir," spoke Eights with his usual 'Oops-I-got-caught-being-independent' voice, "We are commandos, sir, and are simply not used to working in such low-risk areas."

"How long have you been out here?" spoke the sergeant, walking again into the brush with his rifle crooked into his shoulder.

"Just about two weeks, sir."

"You haven't been here long enough to see anything."

"Sir?"

"Just shut up, follow orders, and you just may make it back to camp in time to see your oh-so-precious game."

The commandos were all quiet, and the perfectly unison intake of air was the indicator to their surprise.

"Yes, I read your record... I had Tay'haai as a sergeant myself back in Kamino. He still following his son like a baby roba following his mother?"

"Yes, sir," spoke Yuza, a laugh on his tongue.

"Good. Hate to think the old man got soft... Now, back to work."

by **Turori** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:19 pm

Eels Set-up Showdown for Manager Position
Looking for stability to get Turori to World Cup Finals

The Football Association of Turori, following its 2-0 Victory against Free South Califas, announced that it has acknowledged the applications of both Leifong Saikan of Gyatso-Kai and Mikael Gibbons for the position of head coach of the Turori Eels National Team. Leifong Saikan has been given the reigns for the three upcoming matches against Milchama, Corderock and the Cult of Ashley Greene. Then, on matchday 8, Gibbons will be given access to the squad and managerial responsibilities for the matches against Bostopia, Monastery-on-the-Rock and Unibot.

Both managers will have one match in Turori, each to be held at the Almintora National Stadium, home of FC Almintora, as well as two away matches. Each will also be squaring off against one of the two higher-seeds than Turori in Group 12, and two sides with lower seeds at the start of the tournament.

The Football Association of Turori (FAT) has announced that the manager who achieves the best record in the three-match trial period will be granted the Full-Time manager position for the remaining 4 matches of the campaign. However, the Football Association of Turori reserves the right to terminate both trialists if neither achieves the goal set by the Football Association of accumulating at least 6 points from the 3 match trial period - consistent with the Football Association's target position of no lower than 2nd in the group.

These stated goals from the Football Association of Turori do not seem to be in concert with the outlook of Darmeni applicant Mikael Gibbons, who, during a previous interview, stated that he expected Turori to finish mid-table in the World Cup 60 Qualifiers. The Football Association of Turori was said to be leaning towards the selection of Leifong Saikan due to the alliance of the Gyatso-Kai applicant's expectation with that of the Football Association, but in the end, it was decided to allow on-pitch performances be the final deciding factor.

The Football Association of Turori is also believed to favor the Gyatso-Kaian applicant due to their previous humanitarian work in resettling ponyist refugees in the town of Hoovesdale. It is believed that the Football Association believes that these qualities align well with those of one of the closest allies of Turorian sport, the Cocoabo Preservation Society.

The Cocoabo Preservation Society is known for donating a large amount of proceeds directly to Cocoabo research and preservation, and allied itself with the Kionao Turori Locals during their UICA Series 'B' Champions Cup triumph to gain additional exposure for the Preservation Society. Following this, the Cocoabo Preservation Society was named as a UICA partner.
The Eels will now travel to Milchama looking for 3 points to catapult themselves into the Playoff picture ahead of their Atlantian Oceania counterparts.

Turori Goalscorers::
55' Loala Kigoouao
87' Raso Tareak

Free South Califas Goalscorers::

Turori

Best Player: Diauro Dlaminii
Worst Player: Restiaa Mumamba
Shots on Target: 5
Corner Kicks: 9

Free South Califas

Best Player: Falerina Jomphe
Worst Player: Ralf Huber
Shots on Target: 1
Corner Kicks: 2

Turori Eels Lineup ::
[GK] Ronji Miiastara, [D] Lioniaa Tana, [D] Yoains Konoaafeo, [D] Diauro Dlaminii, [UT] Restiaa Mumamba, [ML] Cediici Tzatzos, [MC] Rikko Rawaii, [MC] Raso Tareak, [MR] Vrotaoa Lorasoiba, [FC] Liinai Zakazaka, [FC] Loala Kigoouao
BENCH::
[FC] Jukkia Diijelhma, [FC] Anuh Ciniima, [M] Rutaj Ranaso, [M] Tiika Diirotora, [UT] Moia Fliporta, [D] Noa-isinao Wioauoi, [GK] Hooizo Nuakoi

Turori Substitutions::
(38) - Yoains Konoaafeo >>> Tiika Diirotora

by **New Montreal States** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:43 pm

NMS ATHLETES PROTEST SARGOSSAN PHRASE BANS

Paladins' press conference avoids talk of football as athletes defend their right to clichés

NEW MONTREAL - Although fans were agog at best football of the tournament so far during the 'States hard-fought 2-1 win over Karditan, and the sight of an opponent with a filled-in roster card for once, the Paladins players and coaches alike spent their post-match presser objecting to news from a nation in a completely different group that has never faced off against the Paladins before.

News that the Sargossan government has banned the use of certain common football terms, such as "good feet for a big man," "game of two halves," "burst the onion bag" and "guesstimate." Use of any of these phrases is punishable by what the Sargossan media quantified as a "hefty fine." Furthermore, using the term "group of death" will now result in a prison sentence in one of Sargossa's many penitentiaries, which their own press has backhandedly admitted might not be up to international human-rights standards.

"Just yesterday, I had to guesstimate the amount of money I owed the supermarket after my bag of onions burst at the cash register and destroyed three pint bottles of craft beer belonging to the hipster ahead of me in line at the register," said attacking midfielder and veteran mainstay André Vaillancourt-Bosquet. "That kind of situation is frustrating and embarrassing enough without having to worry about paying a fine for describing it the wrong way. Thank God I live in a free country."

Coach Jacques-Modeste Taschereau, whose dislike of press conferences and the press in general led him to adopt a "Brevity Cup Challenge" format for his pressers this tourney (in which he provides only 100 words worth of answers to press questions before telling the media to pike off and heading back to the locker room,) spent most of those 100 words defending the use of clichés in dealing with the media.

"Clichés are a useful defensive mechanism for players," he said. "Sometimes players will get in trouble for saying what's really on their minds, and clichés are a useful way to prevent them from saying something they can't fully take back later. And sometimes, frankly, it's all you lot [the press] deserve."

"I'm 6'3", and damn proud of my ability to make cuts both on the pitch and on the dance floor," said center back William St. John de la Ware. "But apparently, in Sargossa, once you get past 6'1" or so, you're expected to accede to stereotypes and be a great galumphing oaf. Well, big men can be agile too, and I intend to meet the denigration of Sargossa's legislature with two extended middle fingers, and one of the best shuttle run times for any NMS defensive back."

"Even my web browser's terrible spellcheck thinks that 'guesstimate' is a real word, and I still have problems getting it to accept that 'Milchama' or 'Winogradsky' are real words," said defensive midfielder Martin Kennedy. "This is a slippery slope. Next thing you know, they'll be banning other phrases like 'he's good people,' 'strong upside potential,' or '110% effort.' Do they seriously expect us to reveal our strategies and personal opinions, so next week's opponents can put them on their bulletin boards for inspiration? Not f*****g happening."

"You know, we might have responded to Sargossa's provocation with a few harmless clichés and moved on to next week," concluded Ackersley. "But we're worried that if we ever have to visit them, they might slap us with back fines in return, and we'll be damned if we give those prudes our cash. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! And that's why we feed you clichés."

World Cup 60: RP Thread

WC-60 #6 Insula Evangelizo

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