HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY

[Pyravar]

Well, It's 15 minutes until Zombie Jesus Day. It's the day we celebrate Jesus becomming a zombie when he came back to life after being crucified. I would like the wish all NSers a very happy Zombie Jesus day. Do any of you have plans. For me, I am going to play 12 hours straight of zombies games. This year is Red Dead Redemption: Undead Alive, Left 4 Dead, and Dead Rising 2.

Congratulations, you made a thread fifteen minutes before Easter Sunday, just so you could ridicule and ruin the image of Jesus Christ. At least the Orthodox Christians got a thread with some respect.

A shame that this is what it comes down to, kids parodying Christianity by comparing its Prophet to a brainless zombie, and celebrating his name by playing half a day of video games.

Me? I'll enjoy time with friends and family, at church and at home, while enjoying a feast that was made possible by the Messiah that you mock and his father.

Zombie Jesus bought him dinner. How cute. Perhaps he'll get a second date.

[Bataron]

Actually Judaism was before Christianity.

[Fedeledland]

No. It was a sperm cell and an ovary.

Created by... God

Cell generation from an earlier cellmand ovary; et cetera.

[Conserative Morality]

Ah, but it takes far longer for a holiday with chocolate to get boring than a bad joke to get boring.

Ah, but there is chocolate on Zombie Jesus Day. Out of all 10-20 years it's been around, Zombie Jesus Day has always had chocolate. Easter didn't have chocolate for 1800 years!

I rest my case.

Do we still celebrate Valentine's Day?

Yes?

[Caninope]

Fruit living too.

Fruits aren't living. Fruits are simply growths of a plant meant to be eaten for seed dispersal.

Don't humans normally digest the seeds?

[Rupudska]

(Image)

You've never heard of fruit?

Fruit living too.

Ahh, but fruits are supposed to be eaten. That's why they are tasty.

Except dragonfruit. Fuck dragonfruit.

[Wisconsin7]

No. It was a sperm cell and an ovary.

Created by... God

No, created by cellular meiosis. Which can be directly observed, as opposed to God, who has been observed exactly zero times in recorded history.

[Jerusalem and Damascus]

You do not live in the Ottawa Valley, this is why.

My beard has frozen on occasion here.

*blinks* I'm sorry to hear that.
I live in Texas, so I view snow and winter time like Rapunzel views the world outside her tower.

Come to the Ottawa valley and revel in our -40 degree weather.

[Mavorpen]

You've never heard of fruit?

And by eating fruit, they've prevented new life from forming. They've killed a little embryo (the seed).

Fruits were sculpted by Natural Selection to BE EATEN so that the seeds can be dispersed.

[Wisconsin7]

Fruit living too.

Ahh, but fruit is supposed to be eaten. That's why they are tasty.

Except dragonfruit. Fuck dragonfruit.

No, fuck grapefruit.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

But who created the people who postulated those ideas...God

God must like contradictions. The morality of Hinduism and Jainism are completely incompatible with Christianity. How can they both be from the same source?

Some are compatible such as the golden rule which is to not do to thy neighbour what you wouldn't want done to you.

[Ende]

Let's all line atheists against the walls and kill them by firing squad!

In all seriousness, guys, let's not be offended. All this is doing is backing up my theory of "5% of atheists are dicks, 95% are perfectly fine people." And frankly, it's Easter tomorrow, and the weather is great.

Unless you live in like, Alberta. Or Ottowa. Or Canada.

Then I just feel sorry for you.

[Conserative Morality]

Congratulations, you made a thread fifteen minutes before Easter Sunday, just so you could ridicule and ruin the image of Jesus Christ. At least the Orthodox Christians got a thread with some respect.

A shame that this is what it comes down to, kids parodying Christianity by comparing its Prophet to a brainless zombie, and celebrating his name by playing half a day of video games.

Me? I'll enjoy time with friends and family, at church and at home, while enjoying a feast that was made possible by the Messiah that you mock and his father.

Brainless zombie?

Silly Akkadian, it's Zombie Jesus' VICTIMS that don't have brains. In fact, the way one usually kills a zombie is by removing it's brain. Zombie Jesus has the most brains of them all, one might say.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

Let's all line atheists against the walls and kill them by firing squad!

In all seriousness, guys, let's not be offended. All this is doing is backing up my theory of "5% of atheists are dicks, 95% are perfectly fine people." And frankly, it's Easter tomorrow, and the weather is great.

Unless you live in like, Alberta.

Then I just feel sorry for you.

6in of snow on Thursday.

[Mavorpen]

Fruits aren't living. Fruits are simply growths of a plant meant to be eaten for seed dispersal.

Don't humans normally digest the seeds?

Humans normally don't eat them in the first place.

[Caninope]

Ah, but it takes far longer for a holiday with chocolate to get boring than a bad joke to get boring.

Ah, but there is chocolate on Zombie Jesus Day. Out of all 10-20 years it's been around, Zombie Jesus Day has always had chocolate. Easter didn't have chocolate for 1800 years!

No, no! Zombie Jesus Day simply pretends it has chocolate. In reality, it has the far inferior jellybeans.

[Rupudska]

Ahh, but fruit is supposed to be eaten. That's why they are tasty.

Except dragonfruit. Fuck dragonfruit.

No, fuck grapefruit.

Fuck them, too.

[Renascibilitas]

God must like contradictions. The morality of Hinduism and Jainism are completely incompatible with Christianity. How can they both be from the same source?

Some are compatible such as the golden rule which is to not do to thy neighbour what you wouldn't want done to you.

Which is why the Bible says to stone your neighbor if he's working on the sabbath. That's what you want done to you, right?

Or destroying a city if a few people in it want to rebel against God? That's what you want done to you, right?

[Wisconsin7]

God must like contradictions. The morality of Hinduism and Jainism are completely incompatible with Christianity. How can they both be from the same source?

Some are compatible such as the golden rule which is to not do to thy neighbour what you wouldn't want done to you.

I prefer an eye for an eye. Because if you're always nice to people then most of them will just take advantage of you.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

Ahh, but fruit is supposed to be eaten. That's why they are tasty.

Except dragonfruit. Fuck dragonfruit.

No, fuck grapefruit.

Don't talk crap about grapefruit.

[Conserative Morality]

No, no! Zombie Jesus Day simply pretends it has chocolate. In reality, it has the far inferior jellybeans.

What if they're chocolate jellybeans?

[Caninope]

Don't humans normally digest the seeds?

Humans normally don't eat them in the first place.

Would you like to explain to me how to eat a cucumber or tomato without eating the seeds?

[Drouga]

I get the feeling that the gracious author of this thread was really hoping to pick a fight...

Really? To me this is just a simple joke that spiraled to some debate. However, even though your opinion is different than mine, I respect it and will not slaughter you for your heresy. But I still reserve the right to make light-hearted jokes about it.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

Some are compatible such as the golden rule which is to not do to thy neighbour what you wouldn't want done to you.

I prefer an eye for an eye. Because if you're always nice to people then most of them will just take advantage of you.

I agree but you don't want to be a total jerk.

[Fedeledland]

God must like contradictions. The morality of Hinduism and Jainism are completely incompatible with Christianity. How can they both be from the same source?

Some are compatible such as the golden rule which is to not do to thy neighbour what you wouldn't want done to you.

...which came from Zoroastrianism that inherited a tonnamstuff from Hinduism.

And that's one sentence in millions of words.