World Cup 58 RP Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:56 am

Queen Claire Isabella Dallas and her mother Queen Lilian Dazza Greenly ...

Lilian: Interesting new flag Izzie.
Izzie: Well, it wasn't my first choice.
Lilian: I see.
Izzie: Apparently putting my face on the flag, wasn't on for some quarters of society.
Lilian: Like the Moslems?
Izzie: And annoying conservatives who think women should be in the kitchen, barefoot with kids.
Lilian: What about the old Pink dragon flag?
Izzie: There was lot of people who didn't know that animal existed.
Lilian: What about the fish one?
Izzie: Well, people complained it was too cartoony.
Lilian: And the old Jerusalem cross? It's been around.
Izzie: Well, the non-Moslems complained!
Lilian: What about that fancy one we used have?
Izzie: Well, most of population don't have clue what it means.
Lilian: So how did we end up with pair of legs?
Izzie: Hey, those are my legs.
Lilian: Oh, I thought they belongs to Sofia.
Izzie: Um, well ... doesn't matter, they are nice legs.
Lilian: I used have legs like that once.
Izzie: We're only young once.
Lilian: It looks like a close for Jeruselem.
Izzie: At least Qazox won their group.
Lilian: So if that other team win and Jeruselem win, we are 2nd in the group.
Izzie: Let's hope the other team lose or draw, and we win.
Lilian: Well, we'll even go to church early.
Izzie: I suppose some rubber chickens might help too.
Lilian: Jeruselem have an away game, don't they?
Izzie: Yes, our away record isn't good. Three drawns and two losses included.
Lilian: At least we always win at home.
Izzie: We can't even win the Pink Cup either.
Lilian: True.
Izzie: I hope things get better.

by **Baleyaroh** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:27 am

Matchday 17

Baleyaroh 0-0 Mangolana. The game against Mangolana was close to an upset yet still far from a victory, it was 16 days ago when the "protesters" last got the 3 points. With a renewed confidence on their defense and specially their goalkeeper Risa Brittsan, in the bench the last two games after being questioned for her performance when receiving long range shots, where she made some poor decisions that turned victories into ties and ties into defeats, making her team lose quite a few points on the way, the team faced Mangolana fresh and in form after a day off. This time the veteran goalkeeper performed as it was expected from her, a solid stronghold at the goal. But still there are doubts over her competence that may move her away from the national team in future competitions opening in the future the doors for young GK Jeromy Jubyna.

Having been eliminated quite some time ago, Baleyaroh is focused in the game against Sativaville to avoid the last position. Carletta Mihor will lead the attack of the "protesters" to challenge the lack of goal of the team (6 goals in 15 games). She will hope for more luck, in the last encounter against Sativaville Florencia Nygaro scored an o.g. in the 87th minute, and a good performance that will get the team the second victory.

Group 1
Mapletish 1-0 West Angola
Cheergirls 0-2 Erathore
Sativaville 0-1 Yesopalitha
Baleyaroh 0-0 Mangolana

Tactical Update: Not many changes to face the last game. Hiroko Lipkovitch and Carletta Mihor take the place of Jere Obermuller and Walton Deralph.

by **Chetkosk** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:13 am

Huffin' and Puffin
The somewhat bearable musings of a moderately tubby man
- it's Yuri Stempov's Football Blog

Woot. Okay, I'll admit, that was convincing.

When you're battling for qualification, it calms the fans when you trash the bottom-of-the-table teams with a multitude of goals. It appeases bloggers too, I have to say I'm not quite as worried as I would be had we won 1-0. Puerto Candelaria were barely present, it didn't seem to take much effort at all to surpass their defences, and it was only the valiant leaps of their goalkeeper that stopped us doubling our total goals scored this campaign.

The good news is that Heimpfel is back from injury and appears to be training well with the rest of the team again. And oh boy do they have a lot of training to do with our next opponents being the group leaders Kulverint. Hmm, whassat? Oh yes, of course, you're here for speculative stats aren't you? Well then I shall provide you with what you wish. Or, I would, but the hosts of this world cup have happily provided us with a little list of requirements for us to qualify.

Kulverint has qualified for at least a play-in spot
MD 18 will see Kulverint vs Chetkosk and ABK vs Wight
If Kulverint win or draw they are Group Champions.
Kulverint holds the H2H tiebreak over ABK should they finish level
If ABK wins and Kulverint loses, ABK are Group Champions
If ABK draw, they qualify for the play-in spot
If Wight defeats ABK and Chetkosk loses, Wight advances on H2H
If Wight defeats ABK and Chetkosk defeats Kulverint, Chetkosk advances on H2H

Yeah that's right! As if it couldn't get any more nail-biting, the top four teams of the table are going to battle it out to determine who get's to keep that play-off spot. Essentially, there is only one set of events that will result in Chetkosk qualifying.

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk are currently sitting pretty on the play-off spot and require only a single point to secure it. Therefore, Wight HAVE to beat ABK for Chetkosk to have a chance. They absolutely have to beat them. However, Wight are on the same number of points as our lovely Puffins, so if Wight win, then so must we. We HAVE to beat Kulverint. Now, even if the games go exactly as described above, we would still have to beat some randomer in the play-offs before qualifying for sure.

The worst part is that my job requires me to be away this weekend, so I won't be able to react to tonight's happenings in the world of football. Such is life. You'll have to survive without my morose musings, whether or not we make the play-offs. To combat this, I've provided little samples of what I would write in each case.

If we get the play-off spot:
Yaaay. Who do we now have to beat to actually qualify?
If we don't get the play-off spot:
Who fancies a trip to the Cup of Harmony?

Until next time, loyal readers.

Chapter XI : Strakonolsk - the Cataclysm

Chetislavi scrolls foretell of a time, a time at the end of all times, when there will be an almighty battle incorporating all of the heavens, the hells and the middle earth. This is known as the Strakonolsk.

Most sources point to the Strakonolsk only occurring if the mortal champions of mankind failed to defeat the eight demon princes placed upon the middle earth by the dying curse of the primal giants Rovt and Sjelag, but a few have suggested that this day is inevitable and that mankind will eventually succumb to sin and allow the event to take place.

It will be the final revenge of the primal giants. As the souls of mortals slowly fill up Holheim, the spirits of Rovt and Sjelag will rise and transform these souls into Dvorva, which means "half-giant" or "giant prince". These Dvorva will grow in numbers, unchecked by Hodain and Tovic as they continue to look in the direction of the middle earth, craving absolution for their crimes against the rest of the pantheon. Eventually, Hodain will become aware of the army of Dvorva just as they are about to launch their assault over all of creation, and he will warn Heimvakt who will construct a temporary defence at the entrance to Holheim.

The Dvorva army will emerge from the gates of Holheim like a tidal wave of epic proportions, overwhelming Heimvakt as he makes a stalwart defence - thus the watcher of Lugnheim and Holheim shall be the first deity to fall in the Strakonolsk. Leading the charge of the Army of the Giants (or "Armiya Gigorva") will be larger reincarnations of the eight demon princes that plagued the middle earth for so long, and the hordes of minions will rise to the mortal realm and begin the slaughter of mankind.

At this moment, as mankind is scattered and purged, all of their mortal creations burnt to the ground and destroyed, the pantheon shall descend from Lugnheim with the souls of the righteous and the pure and enter into deadly combat with the Dvorva. For seven days and seven nights the war will rage across the earth - an inferno will engulf the land, burning all plants and animals, a mighty storm will strike the sea with the power of lightning, a side effect of the rage of the goddess Hesta, and the whole of the middle earth shall weep with the tears of Balteja.

Zimokan the Wanderer will be the second deity to perish, bound as he is to the mortal realm. Wielov will escape the destruction, using his powers of shapeshifting to avoid the clutches of certain death by the hands of the Dvorva. Vrhn will plan and execute a valiant and most excellent war, leading the charge at every engagement, though eventually all engagements will bleed into one another until the maelstrom of destruction consumes both sides. Almost all of the deities will die in the attempt to halt the Armiya Gigorva and, on the eighth day of war, the battle will engulf Lugnheim, and then the gleaming bronze halls of Hestzhall itself. At the end of time, the end of it all, the entire horde of Dvorva will lie dead on the floors of the many levels of existence, and the spirits of Rovt and Sjelag will be utterly spent.

Balteja and Lukos will survive, as will Agodur and Vrhn. The two First Echelon deities will kill the last of the Dvorva, right in the throne room of Hestzhall. Agodur will emerge from the depths of the deepest ocean having drowned the last of the demon princes. Vrhn will be found by the other three - wounded, weak and close to death. He will be found cradling the last two surviving humans, the very last of the mortals. These humans will eventually repopulate the middle earth, after it has been repaired, re-moulded and made fit for the living to inherit.

Thus the pantheon shall suffer terrible losses, thus the human race shall pay for their sins, thus the curse of the primal giants shall finally be lifted, and all of creation shall begin again as it was meant to be.

Artist's impression of the Strakonolsk, the invasion of the middle earth

-------------- Deity Spotlight --------------

Yosevlod iss a deity that sees a lot of worship heading in his direction from day to day. His official title may be God of the Harvest, but it encompasses all agricultural duties and rites throughout the year. He generally deals with providing the families of mankind with bountiful supplies to live their lives by, especially in rural areas and farming hamlets.

Yosevlod praises and respects hard work, and punishes lazy people with poor harvests. He also cares for wild plants that are uncultivated and frequently takes walks in the many forests of the lands of the Chetislavs. He is husband to Thishnaya, Goddess of Health and Fortune, and so works with her very closely when dealing with mortals. They are parents to Idnaya and Danica and are all from the Second Echelon.

BYE
Jedi8246 3-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 1-1 Branta Island
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk 0-2 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 4-1 Wight
Vergenskia 2-0 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 2-0 Soviet Canuckistan
Puerto Candelaria 1-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 2-2 Kulverint

BREAK

BYE
Chetkosk 8-1 Jedi8246
Branta Island 1-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 7-2 Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk
Wight 2-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 1-0 Vergenskia
Soviet Canuckistan 1-0 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 7-0 Puerto Candelaria
Kulverint v Chetkosk

by **Wight** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:51 am

by **Pasarga** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 8:11 am

Press conference leading up to the Dorian and Sonya match

Torgos Tribue Reporter: So Abel, you got this team to qualify for the World Cup out of a tough group and with a matchday to spare. This coming on the heels of a cycle where you were appointed manager during a turblent time for Pasarga football. What to do have to say to the nation and squad about the success?

AC: Well, I know not everyone was happy with my appointment, given I don't exactly like that pretty, fancy attacking football. Yet I think the results this cycle have proven that my system works when the players buy into it. Granted we had a bit of luck in qualifying, but sometimes you make your own luck I say.

TT: What is your gameplan going into this match, should we expect to see a lot of reserves and a defensive approach?

AC: No, the entire first team is going to be out there to begin the match. We might have already won the group and punched out ticket, but it would not be fair to Dorian and Sonya and Pretty Awesome Persons if we were to field a weakened team. We also want to prove that we won this group because we were the best team, not just because we beat up on the minnows. To do that, we need to get a result against the Elves, as they are the best team in this group regardless of the standings in the table. In addition, they provide a good measuring stick as to how ready the side will be come the summer with the Finals, since they are the level of teams we will expect to be playing against.

TT: What about the risk to the players, surely you don't want to lose a player now to injury and not have them for the Finals?

AC: While an injury would be quite a blow, it is a risk I and the entire team are willing to take to prove that we belong at the top of the group and in the upper echeleon of the footballing community. The entire team voted on this and they voted unamiously to play for the win rather than a tie or just give the reserves some experience.

TT: Very well, it seems you and the team have your goals set out. I, along with Pasarga, wish you luck in your match and we all look forward to the summer.

AC: Thank you, the Wanderers will be hoping to put on a show that all of Pasarga can be proud of.

by **Astograth** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:34 am

“And Belarte runs down the wing, skips past one, and another and cuts inside! And Belarte's still running and Belarte shoots, SCORES! Goal! Goal! Goal! Atlético Central are world club champions!”

“What in the blue hell are you on about, Urgutz?”

“Oh, I'm just playing. Look, it's me! I scored!”

“It says your name is Ugurtz Bailarte. And your team is Central Athletic.”

“Um, yeah. They couldn't get the naming rights to everything.”

“Which game is this again?”

“Professional Generation Football. It's Astograthian-made!”

“Never heard of it.”

“Well, it is brand new. Say, don't you have a copy too? They're mailing one to everybody.”

“I don't play videogames, Urgutz.”

“Do you want me to teach you? It's real fun! FKM's in the game, so's Athletic Rumiatzi. So's practically everybody!”

“I'm in the game?”

“Duh! Look... here. FKM! There you are, Itzeder Unzueta.”

“It says MFC and Atzidar Unseta. What kind of crappy game is this that they can't even get the names right?”

“Naming rights are expensive, man, I told you. And without them they can focus on match mechanics and graphics and stuff. You know, what's really important.”

“Uh-huh. I suppose the Astograthian league is in?”

“Of course! Let me just - there! Look, I'll play you. I'll be Royal Rumiatzi-”

“Rumiatzi Royalty, you mean.”

“Just ignore the names, alright? I'll be Royal Rumiatzi and you can be Athletic. Derby!”

“Oh, alright. How do I play?”

“Hold the controller like this. Now, you use that stick thing to move your player, that other stick thing to do tricks, that button at the back for changing players, and the other for running, these for shooting, passing and crossing, this one for diving, this one for spitting and this one for punching.”

“Punching?”

“If you're lucky and the ref's not looking you can put together a combo move. If it says FINISH HIM! press the buttons that show up and you'll put him out of the match. It's similar with the diving, and for spitting you need to keep an eye on your hydration meter. If you do it on someone's afro, though, you get a bonus box at the next free-kick.”

“Is... is this... uh-huh.”

“Now come on, let's get started.”

“Wait, how do I-”

“Prieto steals it, plays it wide! Slusarski runs with it, crosses with it, crosses! Unamunzaga clears! Rebound falls to Ayatsbehers! He's going to shoot, no, he feints! He passes to Skye, SKYE! Timo Skye 1, Athletic Club Rumiatzi 0'!”

“What... what just happened.”

“I just scored. With Timo Skye.”

“Skimo Lande.”

“Same thing. Where're you going?”

“Out. Enough videogames for today. Big match tomorrow.”

by **Vilita** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:14 am

MISSION: DON'T COME HOME

Even though they will be home... Jungle Cats look to avoid CoH fate

As the Vilita Jungle Cats prepared to square off against BrightonBurg, they knew that the result of the match, while important for their playoff chances, was not necessary for having any hope of qualification going into the final matchday. Even a Jungle Cat victory coupled with a Saugeais defeat, really wouldn't make any difference in the Playoff picture due to the way the math and tiebreakers worked out. Inevitably, both teams had the opportunity to look beyond their Matchday 17 matchups, and start preparing for the final matchup.

Thats certainly what the Jungle Cats did on Matchday 16, spending the day watching footage of Saugeais 0-2 defeat at the hands of Mytannion, opposed to doing any preparation for their Matchday 17 clash with BrightonBurg. However, coaches Wrice and Massa did decide to field a strong lineup against BrightonBurg, largely due to the lack of preparation they had put into the game, they wanted to ensure they had their best players on the pitch, with the exception of starting goalkeeper Nycflala Kater. The coaches decided that an injury to Kater might cripple their chances against Saugeais so it was best to protect the Strike FC product from any freak incidents by giving the goalkeeper the week off.

Jungrii Canopii stepped in for the third time during the campaign, the only deviation from what most would consider the 'strongest' lineup Vilita could put out. The match itself was a bit of a departure from the 'Karela'-like play of the Jungle Cats thus far in the qualification campaign. Vilita started fast, and they started furious, against a BrightonBurg team that rivals Saugeais had beaten 9-0 earlier in the competition. Midfielder Jian Lejsrma netted his first career International goal just five minutes into the match. The midfielder, who has played in 12 of the Jungle Cats 15 matches thus far in Qualifying, is one of the new faces in the side who did not participate during World Cup 57 Qualifiers. Although Lejsrma was part of the training squad, the midfielder didn't get called up to the lineup until recently.

It ended up being a day that the Jungle Cats will enjoy, but will leave coaches Wrice and Massa scratching their heads, as all of their goalscoring production came from midfield. Rexii Tzikas doubled the Vilitan lead in the 24th minute, then, Jian Lejsrma netted for the second time in the match, and second time in the international career in the 38th minute.

Not to be left out, Resaie Kentiak netted for the first time internationally just before half time, giving the Jungle Cats a 4-0 lead at the half.

The second half was quite a different story, however, nearly leaving the Vilitan National Team with some egg on their face. Seeing an opportunity to close the goal differential gap between themselves and Saugeais, coaches Wrice and Massa boldly shifted to a 2-5-3 formation, fliping the book upside down from the Karela side to the Takil side. Defensive midfielder Retiso Buran was replaced by Forward Sirkii Moliaudo, while defensive captain Ritopa Simafela was replaced by Attacking Midfielder Steffyn Siazzu, leaving the captains armband to Miiara Makose. BrightonBurg scored one back in the 56th minute when one of their nameless, but quite tall, defenders rose clear of the Vilitan backline to head past a badly out of position Jungrii Canopii.

Vilitan winger Jomur Hulyer would add Vilita's fifth goal of the match just after the hour mark, but the 2-5-3 formation was just not effective for the Jungle Cats, and matters were made worse after Niubo Deneli entered the match in a straight defensive swap with Kadi Molali. BrightonBurg netted their second to pull the score to 5-2 through their Forward. Although the Jungle Cats victory was never really threatened, BrightonBurg netted once again to make the final score 5-3, and completely negate any potential goal differential boost that Vilita might have been able to come out with on the day. While the results really didn't matter, Playoff Rival Saugeais sent a strong message beating Sargossa - the same team that knocked of Vilita by a 1-0 scoreline a few matchdays prior, by a scoreline of 6-0. Further solidifying their goal differential advantage, but as far as the Vilitan National Team is concerned, goal differential is just numbers on a sheet of paper. All that mattered to the Jungle Cats was playing strong on the final matchday, and taking a result from the match.

"Well, we've done what we could, Tika." said Vilitan co-manager Kris Wrice. "Just like last campaign, we're going into the final matchday with a chance at moving on to the playoffs."

"Yes, but this time, we don't need to rely on anyone else" Massa responded. "Big Difference"

Tika was right, thought Wrice, The Jungle Cats had gone into the final matchday during World Cup 57 Qualifiers just one point out of the playoffs needing to win to have a chance at the playoffs. They did. They beat Nitrome Island 1-0 in front of a capacity crowd in Vilita. Unfortunately for the Jungle Cats, Group leaders Krytenia, already qualified for the finals, didn't put up the effort Vilita needed against Landau Institute, and the Jungle Cats were sent sprawling to the Cup Of Harmony at the expense of a Nation that would exist for less than a week following that match.

"We have to not lose this game" Wrice said, "We have to improve. If we lose this game, not only do we miss out on the playoff, miss out on the World Cup Finals - but we also finish on fewer points than we had last campaign... If we lose this game, we might be out of a job."

"Oh stop it" Massa Responded, "Don't get ahead of yourself. We've got a match to prepare for. As long as we don't lose, we'll be fine."

"Do you really think Saugeais will be satisfied with a draw?"

"Well, Amaechi Olsen doesn't seem to be satisfied with a draw, but, I think with all the media outlets reporting as such, our own included, thank you very much, I think they will all have 'draw' in the back of their minds, even if they say the want to win. That should be enough, so long as we play strongly, to at least achieve it."

"Well, that will make for two happy sides at the end of the match, that could get awkward." Wrice added

"I'm fine with it being awkward, so long as we advance" Massa Responded.

"Right, same here. Bring on the awkward."

"Bring it on!!" Massa shouted as he stood up. "Lets head down to the Coliseum, they estimate theres going to be about 60,000 fans there tonight."

"For a training session?" Wrice asked

"Yea, the Football Association is making a bit of an outing from it, they are going to hand out some goodies and do some raffles, raise a bit of cash from it, but give us the opportunity to practice in front of the crowd thats going to be at the match, make sure we're prepared"

"Hope we can find a place to park..." Wrice remarked as the two Vilitan coaches exiting the room and headed to Lonngeylin Coliseum for the final practice session before the biggest Vilita National Team Match since World Cup 38.

Vilita Goalscorers::
5' Jian Lejsrma
24' Rexii Tzikas
38' Jian Lejsrma
42' Resaie Kentiak
62' Jomur Hulyer

BrightonBurg Goalscorers::
56' DLC: 6. Javi Aguilar (31) - Royal Vosaroni Antenelli (Erathore)
75' FLC: 11. Alejandro Echeverría (25) - Ciudad Soluca
88' MRC: 7. Matías Montiel (24) - Ciudad Soluca

Vilita

Best Player: Viji-mara Lawaai
Worst Player: Jungrii Canopii
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 13

BrightonBurg
Best Player: FLC: 11. Alejandro Echeverría (25) - Ciudad Soluca
Worst Player: FRC: 10. Lucas Andrada (22) - Dunas Del Sol
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 6

Vilita Jungle Cats (3-(1-4)-2) ::
[GK] Jungrii Canopii, [D] Ritopa Simafela, [D] Kadi Molali, [D] Miiara Makose, [DMC] Retiso Buran, [ML] Jomur Hulyer, [MC] Resaie Kentiak, [MC] Rexii Tzikas, [MR] Jian Lejsrma, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter
BENCH::
[FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [M] Viliaka Morasita, [M] Steffyn Siazzu, [U] Niubo Deneli, [D] Eda Shindhi, [GK] Nycflala Kater

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Retiso Buran >>> Sirkii Moliaudo
(45) - Ritopa Simafela >>> Steffyn Siazzu
(71) - Kadi Molali >>> Niubo Deneli

by **Ipeland** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:13 am

A History of Ipelandic Football

Part 5: The Name of the Game

Welcome to the 5th and penultimate part of this feature on Ipelandic football history. If you missed parts 1-4 they are available in the archives.. If you just want to see the results click here, or scroll to the bottom of the page. On with Part 5.

After the turbulence of the 2000s, pretty much all the football fans wanted the leagues to go back to normal and play out as normal. The newly reformed IFA said they "...would be transparent on all financial matters, reporting to the government every economic quarter it's loss/profit...", and "any debt would be payed by the government, not by the shareholders as before". These action safeguarded the IFA going bust again, but placed the whole footballing system under the government's control, which meant it would be affected by any government cuts.

The football league clubs were heavily affected by the IFA bankruptcy, and the total losses for that period was over QI 1,000,000,000 per league on average. Some of the losses were alleviated by the profits made by the nine leagues that were outside the old IFA.They were absorbed into the IFA, and the leagues' QI 12,000,000,000 was spent helping some leagues out of debt. Football continued as normal.

The 2010 season was a very open one. The Premier League title was contested between Caelon (formerly named Caelon County), Walkden F.C. and Pendleton & Eccles (formerly known as just 'Eccles'), the latter two finishing in the top two and only seperated on Goals For. Eccles got first position. The relegation place too was very wide open, with three teams with a possibility to go down coming into the final matchday, Vant City getting relegated once again.

Walkden F.C. had a 4 year period of dominance since the 2010 season, winning every IFA Cup and Premier League title. They won every game they played in the 2011 season, including some record victories; 10-1 against the newly promoted Vant Isles, 9-0 against Eccles (they switched back to the original name the previous season) and 11-4 against Caelon. Despite their proud history, Caelon got relegated that season, finishing 2 points away from safety.

The 2013 season saw Walkden F.C. almost end their 3 year dominance, but they clinched to the title by the skin of their teeth, finishing one point above Pendleton & Eccles (who had had another name change). 2014 saw Walkden F.C. win by a more comfortable margin, but they slid down to mid table as Eccles (who'd changed their name again) won the trophy.

This brings us to the end of Part 5. Next time it's the final part, Part 6: The Present Day

Erikkesh 1-3 French Scandinavia
Burchadinger 0-0 Darmen
Neo Japan 0-1 Gyatso-kai
Octinstine 0-2 Ipeland

# Team                     P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Cosumar                 15  13  2   0  47  12  +35  41
2 Ipeland                 15   8  3   4  29  21   +8  27
3 Burchadinger            15   7  4   4  21  16   +5  25
4 Gyatso-kai              15   6  4   5  23  18   +5  22
5 Erikkesh                15   6  2   7  13  23  -10  20
6 Darmen                  15   4  8   3  18  14   +4  20
7 French Scandinavia      16   5  4   7  16  19   -3  19
8 Octinstine              15   3  2  10  14  30  -16  11
9 Neo Japan               15   0  3  12   6  34  -28   3

by **Kagdazka and Pazhujebu** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:00 pm

The room is buzzing, and everybody knows why. At the start of qualifying, the KPFA listed off a few simple tasks for Brutušam Erassi to complete. He wasn't required to complete all of them; just three of four. But now it's official... Erassi will only have fulfilled two of the requirements at the end of qualifying, and with the Urchins on the brink, most journalists agree... this could be the last segment of AOMFQB that Erassi ever appears on.

Brutušam Erassi, manager of the Kagdazka and Pazhujebu national football team

* A proud Erassi strides into the press conference, holding his shaved head high. He's just beaten Camwood at the Therakham Velodrama, so he's clearly pleased with his team's showing, but he must surely know that all the assembled people in the space in front of him are more vultures than they are members of the press. He sits down at the desk, with several microphones and a cup of espresso lined up in front of him. Behind him is a wall with the KPFA logo and a bunch of corporate sponsors.

ERASSI. All right, have at it.

* Several journalists start shouting simultaneously. There seem to be a lot more of them here than last time.

ERASSI. Lateranusam, you go.

JOURNALIST 1. Thank you, coach. Lateranusam Šabh, Pazhujebi Sport. With your sacking now effectively imminent, how do you plan to approach your final matches as Urchins manager?

ERASSI. It's not imminent. I have had no conversations with the KPFA about terminating my contract, which is valid until the end of World Cup 58.

JOURNALIST 1. But you were required to finish at the top of Group 9! It appears highly likely now that you will not even finish in second!

ERASSI. Second place is still possible.

JOURNALIST 1. You need a complete Hail Mary! You'll have to collect all three points on the road against a side that's already defeated you, and meanwhile New Montreal States will have to have some kind of ridiculously unlikely cock-up at an inferior Western Cuba outfit! Do you actually believe that's going to happen?

ERASSI. I have to.

JOURNALIST 2. Bryan Patrick, UIB 103, coach. Let's just assume for the sake of the argument that what you say is true, and that your dismissal is, and I quote, "not imminent." Even if it were not, why should the KPFA continue to employ you.

* Erassi is slightly surprised and slightly offended.

ERASSI. Because of the football that my teams play. I expect strong, physical, attacking football. Positive football. Exciting football. Goals. That's what fans expect, and that's what I deliver.

JOURNALIST 2. With all due respect, sir, you don't deliver victories.

ERASSI. Oh? What about our successes in the recent AOCAF? We had to grab several victories to achieve second-place. What about the World Cup 57 campaign? There were plenty of victories there, and don't forget we qualified in the end. And how about our victories this campaign? We beat New Montreal States! Have you forgotten about that?

JOURNALIST 2. A) You were completely destroyed in the AOCAF final, B) You were completely destroyed in the World Cup 57 group stage, and C) You may have beaten New Montreal States, but you've lost three matches, two of them to Baltskandio and Western Cuba, sides that shouldn't have been able to get anywhere near you, and because of those losses, you're basically out of the World Cup. I could add D) You were embarrassed by Southern Cynocephali the last time you played in the knockout phase of a WCC competition, E) In all your time as manager, you've never beaten a team ranked higher than you in a competitive match, and several others, but...

ERASSI. Sounds like you'd like me to be sacked.

JOURNALIST 2. Coach, I wanted the Urchins to qualify for the World Cup, and you've personally made sure that won't happen.

ERASSI. Why are you all so convinced that we're not going to qualify? I'm irritated by this, I really am! Have you looked at the table? We are not out of this! I mean, we've just finished a five-two demolition of Camwood, why shouldn't we be confident in qualifying.

JOURNALIST 3. First of all, because it was Camwood, second of all, because you've already put yourself in a position where you could run the table and still not qualify.

ERASSI. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

JOURNALIST 3. Patrick Ball of CSNN.

ERASSI. Ah, that's right, the Camian bloke. I'll give you twenty minutes if you want them.

* Erassi tries to muster a grin, but nobody else is laughing.

JOURNALIST 3. Right. Sir, your side is even more ravaged by injuries than it was a few weeks ago. You're now without Klossovskaya, who was putting in a fabulous performance against the Babbage Islands before calling for the physio, as well as Tykaraije Makureru, a crucial left-sided wingback. Even if you do qualify for the World Cup, a tough ask, as your countrymen have observed, how are you going to function there with such an unfit side?

ERASSI. Well, when, and yes, I said, when... when we qualify for World Cup 58 finals, I'm expecting some recoveries. Klossovskaya and Ichuvihaja ought to be back by around the group stage or so. We could potentially have both back in the mix around the time of the Round of 16.

* The journalists can only stare at each other, bewildered. He's still prattling on about qualification! Not just qualification, getting out of a World Cup group!

JOURNALIST 3. One more question, I suppose. Coach, what do you say to the suggestion that your victory over Camwood might not have been so straightforward were it not for the sending off of one of the Jays' strikers?

ERASSI. That's a simple enough question. We were already leading when Smith saw that red card. We were better when it was eleven versus eleven, and we were better when it was eleven versus ten.

JOURNALIST 4. Unapologetic bastard, aren't you? Well, coach, maybe you're right, maybe we're right, but either way, you surely don't expect to be the Urchins manager forever, do you? Oh, Tertius Shajarhayam, Mahathu Herald.

ERASSI. No, I don't expect to manage Kagdazka and Pazhujebu forever.

JOURNALIST 4. So, with that in mind, what have been some of your favorite moments thus far as Urchins boss?

ERASSI. Oh, I'd have to say... our trip to the Dreamed Realm during World Cup 56 qualifying to face the monks, the rivalry we built with Polar Islandstates, all the fun we had with the army slobs back in World Cup 57 qualifying, oh, and that great stay we had in São Jorge for the World Cup 57 finals. Remember, up on that snowy mountain? And the fans' Hipster Quarter? Those were great times. But I'd have to say my favorite moment as the manager of this team was at AOCAF 33. Reaching the final of that prestigious tournament, and on home ground as well... I think it's the most notable thing this national team has done since the unification.

JOURNALIST 4. Would you ever consider coaching another national team someday?

ERASSI. I can't answer that. I'm the Kagdazka and Pazhujebu manager, and I can't answer rhetorical questions that throw my loyalty up for discussion. We can talk about my abilities, or lack thereof, as a manager, but nobody can accuse me of being unpatriotic.

JOURNALIST 1. Nobody thinks you're unpatriotic sir. It's just that we think you're going to be unemployed very shortly, so...

ERASSI. All right, that's it!

* Erassi stands up and leaves the press conference. Is this the end of an era? The former Urnabhi and FKM boss is guaranteed at least two more matches in charge, one against Baltskandio to close out qualifying, and one friendly against Polar Islandstates, but nothing more. He has a zero percent chance of keeping his job if the Urchins fail to qualify for the World Cup, and he may not keep it even if they do somehow scrape through.

2 - 3

Venue: Gelendzhik Stadion, Gelendzhik, Kagdazka
Attendance: 35,000
Referee: Jonathan Oakdoore (Eastfield Lodge)
Man/Woman of the Match: Tristan St-Pierre

Managers

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi
The Babbage Islands: Manning Pelham

Squads

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Voropaev; Andropov, Mizirov (Durai 90+4'), Makureru (Qathif'ajuju 53'); Klossovskaya (Aghimaqaj 61'), Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi; Oujadda, Pudibhišu, Sajid
The Babbage Islands: Miller; Mira, N. Svoboda, Valle Barajas, Finnsson (Chagnon 63'); Karven, Zhengbing, Hallvarðsdóttir (Langmu 75'), van de Graaf (Dew 69'), St-Pierre; G. Svoboda

Goals

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Pudibhišu 6', Klossovskaya 31'
The Babbage Islands: G. Svoboda 30', St-Pierre 34', 90'

5 - 2

Venue: Therakham Velodrama, Mahathu, Pazhujebu
Attendance: 52,000
Referee: Victor Momboso (Novikov)
Man/Woman of the Match: Fušia Oujadda

Managers

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi
Camwood: Justin Kiplin

Squads

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Voropaev; Andropov, Bhara (Qathif'ajuju 87'), Mizirov; Razava, Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi (Zbruyev 62'); Oujadda (Ztnkk 69'), Pudibhišu, Sajid
Camwood: Jacoby; Giles, Li, Arnolds; Dicken (Jamin 82'), Gregory (Taber 71'), Matherly, Cecil; Smith, Rossi (Benson 59'), Torress

Goals

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Oujadda 29', 35', Pudibhišu 49', 80', Sajid 90+1'
Camwood: Cecil 20', Torress 62'

Next Match

Opponent: Baltskandio
Venue: Unknown Venue, Väätsa, Baltskandio
K&P's Projected Starting XI: Voropaev; Andropov, Bhara, Mizirov; Razava, Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi; Oujadda, Pudibhišu, Sajid
Referee: Alan Melchet (Krytenia)

by **Baltskandio** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:58 pm

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Miss Rasmussen."

"Thank you for inviting me."

"Forgive me for my bluntness, but your reputation for straightforwardness precedes you. How much do you know about Cymru?"

"Two championships a few years back, contenders almost every year since, Champions' Cup 37 second slot, three inseparable bears as a forward line of a 4-3-3, small-market team with drive, anything else?"

"Not bad. To be frank, we need a midfielder who can distribute and manage the attack, and we are in talks with a strong centre-back as the other big piece of the puzzle."

"And you think I'm your midfielder."

"We hope you'll consider it. What you do with an inexperienced side is really quite remarkable."

"I'm flattered." Ella paused. "Can you disclose anything about the centre-back?"

"Off the record, okay? Strictly?" Ella nodded assent. "Saturnino."

"Didn't his club get shut out on the reorganisation or something?"

"Exactly."

"Mmmm. So, without being too forward, what are you offering?"

Papers slid across the table. Ella whistled. "Now I'm really flattered."

"Flattery only goes so far. Are you flattered enough to be interested?"

She gathered up the papers. "I'll review these and let you know tomorrow morning."

by **Bears Armed** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:04 pm

By this stage Simon had led them away from the station’s frontage and, through the ground floor of a five-storey structure that Marra worked out was some sort of car-parking facility, to an underpass where a pedestrian path went through beneath the slope that carried a wide road over the railway’s tracks. He faced the four Bears again and, although he didn’t really look very impressive even for a Human (being of around average height or only slightly above that by local standards, on the stout side [although not grossly so], aged apparently — from what Marra knew of humans — probably somewhere in the late forties or early fifties, with hair in which a rather muddy shade of brown was being crowded out by grey, and casually clad) something about his expression made them all stop and give him their full attention.

“Before I open pathways back through to both the two separate versions of BearHome to which you variously wish to travel, let me make it clear that although I’m not a shabear I’m not a wizard neither, and that I reject Chaos just as much as any of you does: My abilities in these matters are an aspect of my true nature and are known to and accepted as non-Chaotic by leaders amongst the Great Medicine Society in both Bears Armed and Armed Bears. Urra, you should be able to see from my aura while I work this ‘opening’ that I am not drawing on forces from Chaos in order to do so…”

Marra glanced sideways at Urra, who looked uncharacteristically thoughtful for a brief moment and then moved her head from side to side in the Bears’ traditional sign for ‘Yes’. Upon seeing this, Marra relaxed slightly…

“Right,” continued Simon. “Will the four of you please form a line, with Marra at one end or the other of it and with Urra standing between Ggregh and Baloo, facing that wall there” (He pointed at the wall at the bridge-ward side of the passage…) “but leaving a distance of about an average Bear’s height between you and it so that I have enough room in which to work. Please don’t say anything while I’m working, unless you need to warn me that somebody else is about to use this underpass — which shouldn’t be a verrry likely occurrence for now, for one reason and another — but if you want to sing a hum to the Great Bear then that might actually help me to open the ways for you.”

The Bears rearranged themselves as he’d asked, and (after a whispered suggestion from Marra to the others) did so in a way that left two of them keeping watch on each of that passage’s entrances just in case. Simon swung a pack that he’d been carrying off from his back and lowered it to the floor — propping it up against one of the concrete columns that helped to support the underpass’s roof — before reaching into it and pulling out a small box. Then, while all four of the Bears gently hummed the melody of ‘Den with Me, Oh Great One, Den with Me’, he walked over to the wall that they were facing and began to draw a doorway on its surface using variously-coloured sticks of chalk that he took from inside that box. A fine doorway it was, taller than the tallest of the Bears who were present — although exactly how he reached up high enough to complete its upper reaches was a detail that the Bears all somehow failed to observe —and wide enough that any two of them could have walked through it side-by-side, with numerous symbols that appeared to be of mystical import inscribed around its frame.
“Hokay,” Simon said, standing back and wiping chalk-dust off of his hands. “That should do it.
“Urra, where exactly in Armed Bears do you think that you and your two new compatriots should arrive? Preferably it should be somewhere that there’s already a reasonably large door that you know quite well.”

“Ur’rmm…” (She hesitated in thought, for a moment or two…) “I think maybeso it had better be Wimbley Stadium,” she said “and the ‘home’ team’s doorway from their changing rooms into the tunnel that leads out to the patch: I can see that ]scene verry well inside my head.”

“Hrright, that sounds like a good choice. Hokay, you move to just in fornt of the door that I’ve created here — Ggregh, you’ll need to stand behind Urra with your hands on her shoulders, and Baloo you stand behind Ggregh in the same way — and when I say “Now” just reach out to the handle that I drew as part of the door as if it were a hrreal door’s handle and try to open it. Marra, if you stand back a bit further now, and a few yards off to one side, that might help matters to go as smoothly as possible: I’ll open your way home after we’ve seen the others safely off, because I can’t actually open both paths at the same time and getting as many of you clear of this Reality in one go as possible seems like a good idea to me. ” He began to whistle a rather eerier tune, varying the pitch, while the Bears took up the positions that he’d indicated, and they saw that the chalked door actually seemed to be becoming more real in appearance.
“Now!” he said, after a few minutes had passed like that. Urra reached out, perhaps a bit tentatively, and touched the door’s handle… then gasped in surprise to find that it was a solid item in her grasp. With an expression of hope on her face, she turned the handle… and the door actually opened, to reveal a scene that she knew well.

“That is the players’ tunnel at the Royal Arena, for true!” she exclaimed.

“Indeed it is,” replied Simon. “And now, not rushing it, lead your country’s two new residents into their new homeland…”

Urra paused briefly.
“Thank you,” she said. “I owe you a BIG favour, and will have that fact entered into my Clan’s books so that they may honour this if you should need help when I meself am unable to be there for you. Thank you!
“And goodbye, Other-Marra, and thank you for your help as well: I hope that you get back home hokay too, and maybeso we’ll meet again at a football stadium somewhere, or something…”
And with those words she led the two ex-Guatemalan Bears through the doorway and into Armed Bears. Once all three of them were in the tunnel at the Royal Arena, and standing well clear of the door, they turned and waved farewell to Marra and to Simon. Then, slowly, the door swung shut again.

“One door closes, another one to open,” said Simon. “Hwhere exactly do you want the other side of yours to be?

“Hr’rmm. Might as well be the tunnel at Wimbley, the home team’s entrance into that, as anywhere,” Marra replied, “Being as you’ve just shown that that’s a sort of location that you can access hokay. Hrright?”

“Ayyuh, hokay,” answered Simon, sounding more Ursine for every moment that passed. He walked back across to the chalked doorway — which now, again, appeared to be nothing but a rather complex piece of graffiti — and replaced some of the symbols bordering it with new ones. “Again, hwhen I tell you “Now”, turn the door’s handle while thinking of hwhere you want this portal to open onto…” He began whistling another tune, slightly different from the earlier one, as he went to collect his pack and then (with that securely on his back once more) returned towards the portal.
“Now!” he said.

Marra reached out and, inspired by what she’d seen happen just moments before, grasped the handle firmly and used it to open the door. Sure enough, there in front of her was the tunnel at Wimbley.
“Praise the Good Spirits… and I thank you, too Mister ‘Simon’ — hwhoever and hwhatever you truly are — and acknowledge a debt of honour to you, as well.”

“You can repay that debt quite simply, and quite soon, with some suitable introductions…”

“Eh?”

“I’ll be passing through this portal hwhile it’s open, too”, Simon explained. “I’m long overdue for another visit to Bears Armed.”

“Ah. I see…” Marra shrugged inwardly. If there was some reason why this rather unusual person shouldn’t be welcome in her homeland, after all, then she was sure that — mysterious powers or not — they’d be able to deal with him easily enough before he could cause much in the way of trouble.
“Hwell, go on then?” she invited, holding the door ajar for him to pass.

“Thank you.”
Simon walked past Marra and into the tunnel, and then turned back to face the doorway.
“I’ll need to close the portal from this side, once you’re through” he explained.

“Hokay,” replied Marra, as she too stepped through into the stadium and thankfully breathed in again the air of home.

Simon whistled a short phrase, and then clapped his hands sharply. There was a sudden burst of rainbow light around the door, which instantly reverted to being the mundane one that actually belonged in that location. He grinned.
“That’s a skill that I don’t find much use for nowadays,” he commented, “but fortunately for all of us it isn’t an ability that one forgets how to use for lack of practice.” He took a deep breath, and then stretched his back… and then, to Marra’s amazement, dissolved into a glowing cloud from which he then emerged only instants later the form of a male Ursine — who was still, somehow, unsmitakably the same person — and the typical clothing of a middle-class male townsBear.
“Ah, and that’s so much better.” he remarked. “Council Groves, Bears Armed, and the World Cup, here I come!”

by **Jedi8246** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:19 pm

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Good evening folks, I'm Logan Dale. This is the Fenris Sports Corner. Well, it is official. Jedi8246 fails to qualify for the third year in a row. Jedi8246 played a good game, promptly defeating the Wight freak show team. The nation held it's breathe hoping for the best. Unfortunately, both ABK and Chetkosk won their games handily. Which means Jedi8246 cannot qualify, no matter tomorrow's results. The mood is somber in the nation. Coach Hemlock felt he had crafted the team made to qualify. Unfortunately, the second half losing and tying streak damaged Jedi8246's hopes. They were unable to pull wins off against crucial teams.

The Wyverns will rest some starters in the final game of the season, planning ahead to the Cup Of Harmony. Jedi8246 is fully expected to receive the invite, having played quite nicely despite the troubles. Jedi8246 will hope to garner a win tomorrow and a Kulverint and ABK win as well in order to maximize to gain third place in the group. More news after the break."

by **Qazox** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:32 pm

HAIL KALUMBA!
Kalumbian Upset puts Qazox into World Cup Again

Despite a 3-2 win over Sjovenia, Qazox hadn't offically clinched a World Cup 58 berth, just a playoff berth. But about 20 minutes after Doreen Dobb's game-winning goal in the 85th minute, a score trickled into the locker room at Rockport Stadium from Kulmuba, a nation just recently placed on the endangered nation list. KALUMBA 2- VIRABIA 1...FINAL.. And just like that, Karim Zaki's first foray as Qazoxian head coach was a successful one.

As for the game itself, Dobb's suprising return, despite her limp, was not the most suprising one of the day. Eve Wallace made the start in net, as Greg Wallace (not a relation, by the way), missed tonight's game due to his wife's illness. Eve struggled early, allowing two goals in the first 30 minutes, but Greg Shaw and Dwight Lynn bailed her out with goals in the 14th and 42nd minutes respectively. But the match was close fought, as was the first meeting in Sjovenia, as the Eagles couldn't manage a decent look after Lynn's tying goal. In the 82nd minute, after allowing Sean Barr the start, Dobbs was sent in to provide a spark or anything for the team. 3 minutes later, with a gimpy run up the left side, coupled with bad attacking angle from the defender and keeper, Dobb's goal with 5 minutes left sent the crowd into a furious roar that continued until the final whistle.

With a spot in the World Cup clinched, Zaki will once again empty the bench against Homelands our in the final group match. Only the Virabia-Chenkorya match on Saurday night is of any relevence to the standings, as a Chenkorya win would see them make the playoff stage, while Virabia just needs a draw to do so.

by **Yesopalitha** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:55 pm

With one game left, the Flames are playing for heart, and heart alone. They defeated Sativasville. Final game will be against Cheergirls.

When asked if they might be asked to go to the Cup of Harmony, Coach Hargrove stated, "I don't think that we deserve the honor, but if we are given the honor, we'll take it for our fans. Really... For the fans and for the fans only......"

The teams' morale has fallen so low that even the Coach doubts them now. It is a bleak moment in Flames' history......

Boo hoo.

Cry me a river.

by **Stachland** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:58 pm

Stachland Reds

To The Last
by Witold Elliott

Four teams—Khytenna, Bergnovinaia, Stachland, and Euskirribakondara.

One point and five goals separating the leader—a Khytenna reinvigorated in this second half of qualifying, after having plummeted as low as fifth place in the first eight matches—and number four—the tenacious and feisty Euskirribakondarans.

Each of the four teams will be in action this final matchday, as Khytenna and Bergnovinaia have home games against low-ranked PuertoRico and determined Crotunda, while Stachland will be hosting the middle-of-the-pack national team from Unibot and Euskirribakondara will be on the road against a Nifferite team which they annihilated four-nil at home.

"We need a win. It's possible with a draw, but I have a feeling that that will not be an option," declared coach Rom Meyler, who has failed to live up to the expectations of Reds fans following his replacement of Theodore Czacki before World Cup 58 qualifying. Meyler won the job by virtue of his club team, the Cardrake Fronds, winning Stachland's National Series. "If we can defeat Unibot, we'll be fans of PuertoRico and Crotunda. One of them would need to draw, at the very least, and preferably pull off the upset."

If Stachland fails to qualify as either the first-place or second-place team in Group Four, the Reds will be participating in their third Cup of Harmony in four qualifying campaigns. The Reds would, this time around, have a real opportunity to win the tournament, as they will enter ranked in the top forty in the world rankings, as opposed to rankings around one hundredth in the last two such competitions.

"We'll be happy with anything," said team captain Everett Lang. He added: "We would much rather be in the World Cup, however."

by **Queer Poco el Mono Ara** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:01 pm

ARE YOU READY? THE CRUNCH IS AFOOT, DESTINIES WILL BE FORGED, SOME OF YOU AINT GOING TO QPeMA or ASMV AND WILL BE DISAPPOINTED, BUT NOT AS DISAPPOINTED AS WHEN YOU FIND OUT I USED ALL THE CAPS IN THE WORLD FOR THIS CUT OFF!!

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=8411383#p8411383 Z... apparently missed you...

by **Taeshan** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:09 pm

The Seduction of Beowulf: The Lost Scrolls of Taeshan #1

Recently a few scholars working on Taeshan island near Taeshan city found a bunch of old scrolls from the ancient people's who inhabited the land of at the time before discovery. This is the first of these tales in which a brave hero is seduced. (ooc: I assume you know about Beowulf if not i'm sorry. This takes place after the battle with Grendel's mother.)

The wind wallowed, wildly through the walled-castle.
The Kings queen watched the anger-filled men,
Eating after the fiend’s mother’s death.
Slowly she sat there seeing their evil smiles.
Then Beowulf, bright Beowulf walked in.
Smiling as usual, that devious grin.
And she was taken immediately,
By that oldest of seductions,
Betrayal was eminently certain.
The cursed-night was at an end,
The waves of light gone over the sea,
As Beowulf approached the table,
“My dear king, the fiend is slain,
I stand here before you, dear Hrothgar,
And Queen Rebecca with the fiend’s head,
And its mother slain on this night.
The deed is done, and soon I shall leave,
Soon I shall embark to my own kingdom,
I shall fight my own battles,
Not much longer shall I require,
The hospitality I am so thankful for.
As it be tonight I shall rest, and tomorrow,
Me and my men of honor, your hero’s
Shall leave. Do not fret my great sir.
No longer am I in debt to you, and now
With glory and honor I shall be inclined to always,
Respect the great alliance we have, and be there
If ever you may need me.”
The queen stood and walked after the brave hero,
Hrothgar was too drunk to notice.
“Hail Beowulf, Grendel Slayer. Oh brave leader,
Of the heroic Geats. Champion of the Danes.”
“Hail Queen of the Danes, Oh Beautiful lady.”
“Beowulf it is not fair to come, conquer, and leave.
You must stay. The guest of the people. The honor,
One feels at being with you is pronounced.”
“Oh lady so you say these great things, but really am I,
That great? I come for glory, seeking riches, seeking to end my debt,
I am no greater then the lowest of peasants.”
“Such belief is foolish. You are brave Beowulf,
Braver than boys unknowing, a hero among the commoners.
Bards shall cry your name for histories endless,
You shall always be among the greatest of hero’s,
A great Geat who forever is remembered.
A man among boys in this world of worlds,
This cave of humanity.”
“You flatter me great queen,
But a hero I am only in the stricken minds of people.
I have killed a great many, and fight only for glory and wealth.”
“But who does not Grendel-Slayer? Who does not seek glory?
Who does not wish to be remembered forever eternal?
Who among men is humble and willing to be common?”
“Queen you challenge me so, but how can you?
You should not, you should stay in your place.”
“But is it not my place to honor great heroes,
To let men among boys be given the greatest glory.
Should I not behold you as great.”
With that she stares at the strong man. Moves in close.
“My lady, what are you doing?”
“Only honoring a brave champion of men.”
With that she kisses him.
“My lady you are married to my liege.
You can not expect me to act on your unruly advances.”
“Kind sir, as you said you shall be leaving in less then a night,
What difference will it make to anyone if we act now?
The King shall never know of it, nor expect of it.
He will be ignorant. Only we would know.
Now, Bear of Wolves would you not let a lady have her wish.”
“My lady I do not like what you have done.
You shall turn me against my king. But you are right,
I am but a man, I am not above my desires,
And you are not above your either,
So though I have regret at the act already,
I may truly regret it, but tonight you are not Hrothgar’s Queen,
You are but a woman who needs,
And I but a man who wants.
In the end I am not above this,
And you are but a woman,
And thus your are not either”

by **Antoletia** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:20 pm

Well lets see the good news is you wont have to live to see how horrible your life is about to become, the bad news is im about to shoot you.

by **The Kangaroo Republic** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:49 pm

It's not over yet
With the end line in sight, the matches begin to matter more and more for the 'roos, who still have not secured the second place and thus a play-off spot for qualifying for the world cup just yet. Lagging behind Eastfield Lodge had caused for much chagrin, and last match against Valanora certainly didn't help, as Paetrov was going to miss out on the match against Karlada due to his two consecutive yellow cards during last match. He would be replaced by Bemau for the upcoming away match versus the last-ranked team in the group. Karlada would likely be an easy match for us, but we still had to keep our guard up, any slip and the 'roos would be out of the race. But not even a win would guarantee that we even hold a mere chance at qualifying, as such would also require Triimoria to at the very least draw against Eastfield Lodge in the match played on Triimorian home ground.

Back to the match against Karlada. The 'roos would have to go for a win in order to play it safe. Should they draw, it'd require Triimoria to win the match against Eastfield Lodge, which was an even more implausible outcome than a draw. The anxious looking faces on the fans reflected that knowledge that it could be over for the 'roos, even with the win. Under this pressure, the 'roos were nervous about the upcoming match, but knew they'd have to give it everything they had. The Karladans on the other hand, knew they had nothing to lose anymore. This was not going to mean they were going to give it their best shot though.

At the start of the match, the 'roos built up pressure immediately and tried to establish dominance quickly in order to get to lay out their initial attack. This worked out just perfectly, and an early goal quickly brought the 'roos one goal ahead already, the defenders of Karlada posing little threat to Yamamoto who scored the first goal of the match. The cheers in the stadium were noticeably more timid than usual, with half the attention of the fans still focused on the scores abroad in Triimoria.

The 'roos were able to maintain their dominance throughout the first half, but could not find the chance to expand their lead just yet. A foul by Enda led to a yellow card, and, as he had been booked before in the match against Valanora would mean he'd be suspended for the next match. A minor set-back.

Then the second half, the 'roos continued to remain on top of their game, despite the pressure the players had to play under, they continued to play in the same consistent quality we've always known them for. A foul on Inande gave the 'roos a chance from the free kick, while the angle was just too awkward for a direct shot, the chance was there to make the free kick fruitful still. The players were heading into the box and Inande shot the ball high, over the wall, and allowed for Jevjøki to finish it off with a beautiful volley. The 'roos were now 2 ahead, but even then, they knew they still depended on the outcome in Triimoria.

When the match ended, the stadium was awfully quiet. The cheers were there, but were largely introverted, as the anxiousness still remained. There hadn't been any news about any goals in Triimoria. The two teams had been level throughout the entire match with no goal scored. Then finally, the spectators really bursted into a second, much more excited, wave of cheers as the news arrived. The match in Triimoria ended, the two teams had tied. The 'roos are right back in it.

The 'roos now have a chance once more to secure a play-off spot, which will be decided in the match against Zona Azul. The draw between Triimoria and Eastfield Lodge came as both good news and bad news. The good news was of course that the 'roos still had a chance at qualifying, the bad news, they could only do so if they secured a win. Definitely not a loss, but now also not a draw. While Zona Azul should be a fairly easy game, this hasn't been the first time the 'roos didn't secure three points in a match against a team that was way below them theoretically, and now, with so much pressure on the team mounting as they still face potential elimination, we can only keep our fingers crossed.

Results Elsewhere
Triimoria 0-0 Eastfield Lodge
Chrinthanium 1-1 Carpathia and Ruthenia
Numbadon 2-5 Valanora

Group 11 Standings

   Team                         P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Valanora                    15  12  2   1  30  12  +18  38 
 2 Eastfield Lodge             16   8  5   3  27  18   +9  29
 3 The Kangaroo Republic       15   8  3   4  26  14  +12  27
 4 Triimoria                   15   7  3   5  24  17   +7  24 
 5 Carpathia and Ruthenia      15   7  3   5  18  14   +4  24 
 6 Chrinthanium                15   3  7   5  20  24   -4  16 
 7 Numbadon                    15   3  3   9  17  26   -9  12 
 8 Zona Azul                   15   2  4   9  12  31  -19  10 
 9 Karlada                     15   2  2  11  14  32  -18   8

by **Qazox** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:58 pm

Reserves win big at Homelands our

A 5-1 win by most of Qazox' bench over Homelands our ends Karim Zaki's first qualifying campaign with a good 11-2-3 record. The 5 goals were the highest output for the team during qualifying. Daniel Spaatz (18th and 49th) and Soai Fu'anuoa (38th and 73rd) each had 2 goals, while Ashley Mansfield added the last goal in the 87th minute. James Dact had Homelands our's only goal in the 64th minute.

Comparison of Karim Zaki's first Full qualifying campaign to the most recent first Full campaigns of the last 4 Qazoxian coaches:

Karim Zaki       11-2-3 38GF 19GA +19GD Qualified for World Cup 58
Thomas Holtz     10-1-2 27GF 14GA +13GD Qualified for World Cup 54
Ryan Percy       15-0-7 47GF 27GA +20GD Did not Qualify for World Cup 52
Kallie Jaus       9-4-1 35GF 12GA +23GD Qualified for World Cup 48
Raul de Olivares 10-1-3 29GF 12GA +17GD Qualifed for World Cup 45

The results are comprable to other recent coaches, and hopefully that bodes well for the Eagles in the next campaign. Zaki also becomes the 9th coach in team history to lead the team to a World Cup in his first full campaign as coach. So the only remaining question is, Will Zaki coach Qazox in his home nation of Queer poco el Mono Ara during the Cup or will they be sent to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega?

by **Sativaville** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:21 pm

Sativaville's return to the World Cup was an abject failure, as they finished 0-7-9. But the good news? We scored more goals than a Baleyaroh team that got their only two wins over us.

Unfortunately, due to the poor performance of the team, Sativaville will decline any Cup of Harmony invite, to concentrate on improving their team with arpeein, a supposed legal performance enhancer.

by **Erathore** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 7:06 pm

Celebrations. Celebrations all around. Celebrations for the cleansheet against Mapletish. Celebrations for winning 14 of 16 games. Celebrations for qualifying. Celebrations for being one of the best teams in the world. They were the Copa Rushmori champions. Could they improve on that and become the world champions? Could they go from qualifying for the World Cup for the first time to winning it for the first time? In the same run? Yes.

Roberto Bennedetto is one of the best goalkeepers in the game today. He's tall and commanding in the box, marshaling his defense quickly and efficiently. He has brilliant reflexes, being able to react to any shot at any time from any distance. He has wonderful reach that allows him to a good portion of the goal just by waving his arms around. He's strong so he can deal with corner kicks and crosses that come a little to close to him without much difficulty. Most importantly, he's inspiring. He inspires the team to do well, to try their hardest, to play to win. Outstanding lad.

Fredrico Manlio. Fast. Powerful. Brave. Manlio can keep pace with the fastest forwards. He can hold his own against the strongest opposition. And he isn't scared of diving infront of a rocket shot to protect the goal. He isn't afraid of charging forward to help turn the tide of the game when need be. Outstanding lad.

Barino Dino. The newbie. Well he's not really new to the national team, just to the starting position. And he's proved he's up to the task. His tackling has been perfect, rarely mistiming or throwing out a silly challenge. He can give most opposing players a run for their money as far as speed, but he is outclassed when it comes to true speed demons. Good heading and a good jumping ability make up for his small size and makes him good for clearing corners or scoring off them at the other end. And his passing. His passing is crisp, clean and beautiful. And he's smart in his distribution too. Outstanding lad.

The last of our wonderful defense, Nero Romo. Pace, strength, brilliance. He's had a good World Cup. Not a great one though. He's had a few poor moments and a few of those moments have lead to goals. He's always made up for those moments, but a few more of them in the upcoming group stage and he may find himself being replaced, as we really can't afford to make mistakes now. Outstanding lad.

Julio Lanziano. The midfield maestro. A pass completion percentage of 94% over the qualifying stage. A devastating player. He rarely ever misplaces a pass, no matter the distance. He has good ball control, speed, a sublime left foot, wonderful technical ability, and pure skill. He knows when to pass, when to carry the ball, and when to shoot. There is no other Erathi that can play the all important defensive playmaker position like he can. Julio Lanizano has cemented the best playmaker in Erathore. Outstanding lad.

And onto the other young playmaking extraordinaire. He's only 18 years old but he is already captaining the reigning Seria-A champions Niccostrato. He is a passing specialist who plays for Nicostrato as a playmaking midfielder. He has better then average technical ability and wonderful first touches. He also has a very strong and accurate shot. His passing, both long and short, is incredible. He is the future engine of the team. Outstanding lad.

Espen Rolodel has adapted remarkably to playing a central midfielder rather then the attacking midfielder that he plays so efficiently for Niccostrato. Rolodel blends speed, power, and skill together to form a weapon that he uses to deadly effect. He can sprint by defenders, use a neat set of stepovers to get by others, or just take a long range rocket shot to goal. And he can do all of them damn well. Outstanding lad.

Alexo Del Nieran. What must be said of him? Brilliant player all around. He can create chances and score equally. He is undoubtably one of the best players in the world. Will he get a World Cup winners medal to back that claim though? He is incredibly fast and agile, has top class technical ability, and a wonderful leg. He has been played in a multitude of positions during his life. Attacking midfielder for EMI FC, FC Mildrid, and Dunboor FC and as a striker for Avidia United and Cafundéu do Juta. He has also been played as a winger on several occasions and as a playmaking midfielder. He is one of the best. He is Alexio Del Nieran. Outstanding lad.

Isidoro Nao. Isidoro is know for his technical ability, creativity, pace, and ability to read the game. He has been described as a player whose vision and imagination make him an unpredictable opponent. He is an outstanding player. One that can pop up at any time and cause all sorts of problems. Outstanding lad.

Camthalio Ringëril. Our greatest ever striker. Fast on track to become the highest scoring Erathi player in history, surpassing Alexio Del Nieran. His speed is unmatched. His shots are the strongest, fastest, and most accurate I have seen in my lifetime. He has wonderful dribbling and passing skills. He can talk to the ball, ask it to do things it wouldn’t normally do. He is a free kick master. He can bend the ball over and around the wall, as well as knuckle ball it. He is perfectly adept at using the left or right foot. He is also capable of striking the ball powerfully and accurately with his instep and outsole, enabling him to score from just about anywhere. n his six appearances in Copa Rushmori VII, he scored 10 goals. He's looking to add a World Cup title to that Copa Rushmori title. Outstanding lad.

And finally, Ricardo Villa. The man who took his club to a second place finish in the TakilQuipp Champions Cup during his first season. He is immensely skilled both on and off the ball and he is deadly from 35 yards in. Great technical skill allows him to give the slip by opponents with little to no problem. Great passing allows him to slow play down a bit or send a teammate on to goal. Great player. Outstanding lad.

The other teams left might as well head home now. We've got this shit under control.

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:17 pm

And now here I stand, er...um... sit rather,,,, with the fates of so many to be decided. Who will rejoice and who will head home with their spirits crushed like a june bug caught under the wheels of a steamroller? who will be tiumphant and who will be devastated beyond all... You get the point. RP cutoff is now!

MD18 Scores

by **Saugeais** » Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:01 am

I don't want to jump the gun here, as many football fans are celebrating outside of my apartment while I am currently type this, but Saugeais is not yet into the Finals. While the convincing 4-1 win over Vilita was a great confidence boost for the team and the nation, we still have one more match to go before we are considered a part of the greatest spectacle in the sporting world. Commiserations to the Jungle Cats, as they did put up one hell of a fight, but ultimately the balls did not bounce in their direction. Especially since they were the home side, you would've expected their to be some home pitch advantage. If there was such a thing, it certainly did not come into effect today.

The match started off with Vilita putting up an attacking front, forcing the Knights to stay on their heels for some time. Clearly, the Jungle Cats wanted to show who was going to boss who around the pitch. And the first 15 minutes of the match saw Vilita strike shot after shot, but most sailed wide of the mark with one or two needing to be deflected by Jenson Paulson. One of those shots led to a corner kick in the 16th minute, unfortunately resulting in a goal scored by Vilitan midfielder Resaie Kentiak. He angled his header downward and away from Paulson, forcing the keeper to dive to no avail. Vilita took the early led, much to the delight of the home fans, and the chagrin of manager Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa. He ordered the Knights to spread the ball around, forcing the compact formation of the Vilitans to spread out. The plan worked as the Knights kept both the ball and the Jungle Cats constantly moving, wearing them out faster. During this time, Saugeais was able to get the ball into the penalty area, where a cheeky back heel pass from David Schultz-Eklund to a sprinting, yet onside, Amaechi Olsen led to a first touch strike on goal. The Vilitan keeper tried to block it, but only managed to catch a piece of the ball. The resulting spin, however, kept the ball moving goal-ward and crossed the line for the score. The Knights tying up the game softened the crowd's verbal tirade, giving Saugeais a slight edge. The Vilitans attempted a counterattack, but were thwarted but stout defense from the entire back line. Saugeais added to their lead near the end of the first half, as a high corner kick from Sasha Krause aimed at the far post found the boot of Dan Nagato, who smashed it, almost sailing over the crossbar, but skimmed the underside and into the net to give Saugeais the lead.

"An important match like this, you have to calm everyone's nerves," said manager Aonghusa. "Yes, we were winning at the half, but with the scoreline that close and with their crowd behind them, anything could've happen. I didn't want to take that risk, and played offensive football as a result." Saugeais restarted the match in the second half and promptly launched an offensive. Olsen, Nagato, and Dietmar Öztürk all played the ball well, passing back and forth to whoever had the better look. In the end, it was Olsen who ended up with the ball, bearing down on goal. Striking it from about the same spot as the penalty shot would be, he curled it towards the top right corner of the net. Vilitan keeper Jungrii Canopii made a valiant diving effort, but missed by inches, and Saugeais were now up 3-1. The crowd at this point had been completely devoid of life, as there was little more than a murmur amongst them. The Knights settled back on defense, a tactic in the past had cost them points from matches, but being applied in the match seemed to work. The Jungle Cats couldn't break through the defensive wall the Knights had laid in front of them. Finally rounding out the scoring in the 77th minute was Öztürk on a penalty kick, after Olsen had been subbed out. Vilitan defender Kadi Molali tackled Nagato just inside the penalty box, mostly clean I might add, but the referee deemed a foul had taken place. As a Saugeais fan, I even thought it was a bit much, but the kick was awarded and Kadi was reprimanded by the ref. Öztürk lined up his shot and stared down the keeper. Running up, he smacked the ball to the left side of the net while the keeper chose to dive right. 4-1, and Saugeais were clearly moving on now.

"It was a beautiful match, said Olsen afterwards. "One step closer to the Finals, but we can't stop here. We have one more challenge to face before we reach the promised land. The goal since World Cup 56: seeing Saugeais in the World Cup finals."

"Can we make it?" Aonghusa repeated the reporters question back to him. "Well, if we stick to our strategy, I have no doubt in my mind we would. We need to focus for whoever it may be. Bostopia, Virabia, Dorian and Sonya. Whoever it is, we can overlook anyone."

Saugeais will, in fact, play North Chicanan in the playoff round. NC were in Group 8 behind winners Aguazul and narrowly beat out Ellison Island and Kelssek to reach this stage. Saugeais will make no changes to their lineup, and come out fully fit with their default starters.

by **Northern Bettia** » Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:07 am

Northern Bettia's manager Murphy Smith stood nervously before the Football Association committee, knowing that his job - and indeed his life - was on the line. He gulped as the two dozen pairs of gimlet eyes bore into him, taking a moment to collect himself before revealing his master plan.

"And so, in order to qualify for the World Cup finals, I have taken the country's best players, changed their names and, at great expense, paid for plastic surgery in order that they all look alike. That way, I can use rolling substitutes throughout the game - we'll have a team of always-fresh players on the pitch for the whole game and the referee will be none the wiser!"

An awkward silence filled the room, which was suddenly broken by a loud harrumph from Tarquin Otterbourne, the large and gruff chairman of FC Barearselona.

"In other words, you're using the exact same plan as the qualifying round?"

"Err... yes."

Otterbourne tutted. "So you've forgotten what a dismal failure that plan was? Do I need to remind you we only finished SECOND?"

"No sir, I haven't forgotten that... which is why I've taken an extra measure to ensure the match officials... ahem... see things from our point of view."

"And how will you do that?"

"Bribes!" he announced happily. "Big fat stinking bribes. A momentary incentive to ensure this game goes smoothly. Wodges of cash discreetly stuffed into large brown envelopes..."

"Yes, thank you, we all know what bribes are!"

"Well I wasn't going to say anything sir."

"Wait a minute, are you suggesting...?"

"No, I don't mean that! Not at all! I'm sure all you gentlemen are above reproach."

"Above what? Speak Bettian boy! And while you're at it, perhaps you can explain how you intend to get the cash. If you intend to offer a substantial worthwhile bribe to EVERY one of the match officials, we'll need millions, maybe billions of groats."

"Not to worry sir. We'll just use a tried and tested technique - email scams. You may remember we did this a few decades ago and netted a few billion for the national economy."

"Ah yes that's right. I believe quite a few nations got well and truly fucked up by this. Happy days! So, what type of scam are we talking here?"

"I've already thought of that sir," Smith said as he handed out sheets of paper. "We've sent these out just this morning, and we've already had a few responses."

Subject: URGENT TRANSACTION
Date: lundi 22 février 2012
Time: 8h 00 - 9h 00 (AOT+00:00)
Message: I am MR NURUDIN DAUDA,the director in charge of auditing and
accounting section of Bank of Northern Bettia in Viagra. I have a business transaction
that will be beneficial for both of us One of our biggest customers died along with his family
in a plane crash and his fund has been dormant in his account with our Bank without any
claim of the fund in our custody. The said amount was BTG150m ( one hundred and fifty million Northern Bettian Groats). We need to move this money out of the account so we can avoid paying tax.

Please send your bank account details, including any security passwords, memorable information and details of any credit cards associated with your good self, to the email address below so I can wire you the monies as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully, MR NURUDIN DAUDA, (thisisnotascam@honest.nbt).

"So, what do you think?" Smith asked hopefully. The chairmen looked at each other and murmured under their breaths. Eventually, Otterbourne gave their answer:

"There'll still be cheerleaders, right?"

World Cup 58 RP Thread

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