[Draft 1] Cry Me A River

[Almops]

This is an issue I submitted. What do you think?

Description (paraphrased): In an effort to save money, government official Flint Meshugun switched water sources from the clean @@CAPITAL@@ water system to the contaminated @@ANIMAL@@ River. As a result, citizens have suffered from tragic symptoms of lead and other dangerous chemicals.

(pasted)
[option]"Once again, this shows how careless the government is at running our country." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Soft Drinks and More. "They choose to cut spending when it came to a vital resource. The government should have no control over @@NAME@@'s water supply. A private company would only be concerned with keeping the water clean, and not with education, crime, and all the other things that governments have to consider. We wouldn't be unregulated, all industries have regulation. Sure, the costs may go up a little bit, but that's the price of clean, reliable water."
[effect]poor people are regularly found at doorsteps begging for water to drink

[option]"No, no, no!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famed socialist. "Only the government should control the water supply. Companies should have nothing to do with it. Only the government can make it both affordable and safe. This is yet another scheme by corporations to favor the rich over the poor. My family has been sick, with rashes, abdominal pain, and might even have brain damage. What I propose is banning all dangerous chemicals so this will never happen again. Industries will suffer, but what does that matter if the people of @@NAME@@ have clean water to drink? We can't have companies polluting our waters and distributing our waters. That would be hazardous!"
[effect]farmers are spending millions on pest-repelling plants after pesticides have been banned

[option]"Bah!" says primitivist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Back in the old days, people found their own water! How about neither the government nor industry has control over water? If people found their own water, they could do with it what they chose! Sure, people in landlocked areas will have a harder time finding water, but it was always supposed to be survival of the fittest! It will be good for the gene pool if people who failed to survive died."
[effect]people from deserts are either struggling to survive or struggling to leave

[option]"Let's not be extreme here, alright?" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ambassador of a neighboring country. "We can simply switch the water source back. In the mean time, we can pay reparations to the sufferers of this tragedy and fine the government officials involved. I'm sure @@REGION@@ won't mind lending us a hand and sharing their water while we recover! Taxes will go up, but I'm sure nobody will mind when their families are fully recovered. Sure, that doesn't prevent this from happening again, and the companies may start polluting that water, but that's the cost of compromise, and it's better then listening to these extremists."
[effect]citizens of @@NAME@@ are baffled at the government's halfheartedness in response to a major water crisis

[option]"There's absolutely nothing wrong with the new water!" Flint Meshugun angrily demands. "These are all lies! I say we arrest these conspiracy theorists for treason to prevent any more vile propaganda. All they are trying to do is cause chaos in @@NAME@@! We must put a stop to these hooligans!"
[effect]anyone who so much complains about @@NAME@@'s water is jailed

[Almops]

Oh and, how will I know if this gets accepted or not?

[option]"There's absolutely nothing wrong with the new water!" Flint Meshugun angrily demands. "These are all lies! I say we arrest these conspiracy theorists for treason to prevent any more vile propaganda. All they are trying to do is cause chaos in @@NAME@@! We must put a stop to these hooligans!"
[effect]anyone who so much complains about @@NAME@@'s water is jailed

Also, an alternative effect to the above option: "police are rounding up people who reject people's offers for free drinks."

[Leppikania]

I think you should have posted it here first before submitting it.

[Almops]

I think you should have posted it here first before submitting it.

I was thinking that too, but I was worried someone would steal it. According to the ranks page, there are 193,442 nations, making it more likely for it to be stolen by someone.

Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

Either way, what do you think of the issue?

[Leppikania]

I think you should have posted it here first before submitting it.

I was thinking that too, but I was worried someone would steal it. According to the ranks page, there are 193,442 nations, making it more likely for it to be stolen by someone.

Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

Either way, what do you think of the issue?

Yeah, you're paranoid. Simply posting it here guarantees that somebody won't plaigiarize it.

Anyway, I don't understand how the switch of water sources would be cheaper.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Did a similar draft myself back in January, not that that should stop you:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=365835&p=27360938#p27360938

Thing to bear in mind here is the RL timescales and numbers of the game. So far I've submitted 73 issues over a 5 month period. Five had so far made it through into the game, and most have had positive feedback from fellow writers (and sometimes the editors) here. While one made it in in a matter of weeks, the others have had to wait a while. Also, I've previously read that the team has accepted issues in their backlog going back several years.

Point here is that there's no harm in drafting here first (as I've done with all 73 issues). Editor Gnejs has previously advised me that I'm not leaving my drafts up for long enough, saying that he used to have them up for a month or so. I've compromised on that to go for about 2 weeks on average, though if it slips several pages back into the forum archives I tend to bump it once if needed, then submit it once its not drawn any new comments for a while.

I was told 1 in 15 issues make it through, and as a general point of pride I always stop submitting issues if it looks like I'm falling below that. If you want to maximise your odds, post your drafts here, let others work with you on them for a bit.

As to 193,442 nations, bear in mind that probably most of players have multiple nations, and the vast majority of those players don't participate in this forum or submit issues that get accepted. Look down the spoiler list, and you'll see the actual number of authors is quite small.

Nobody here is going to steal your ideas!

[Almops]

That's good to know. I've gotten all of your issues by the way, except the last one.

Some questions:

1) Am I allowed to re-submit issues?

2) How do I know if they get accepted?

3) Do you like the issue? What would you change?

Maybe answer questions in list form unless something else is keeping you busy.

[Arridian Islands]

That's good to know. I've gotten all of your issues by the way, except the last one.

Some questions:

1) Am I allowed to re-submit issues?

2) How do I know if they get accepted?

3) Do you like the issue? What would you change?

Maybe answer questions in list form unless something else is keeping you busy.

1. idk
2. They will probably email you, or send a telegram
3. I think the issue is pretty good.

[Leppikania]

That's good to know. I've gotten all of your issues by the way, except the last one.

Some questions:

1) Am I allowed to re-submit issues?

2) How do I know if they get accepted?

3) Do you like the issue? What would you change?

Maybe answer questions in list form unless something else is keeping you busy.

Here's my answers:

1. Yes.
2. You will receive a telegram and an issue in your inbox when it gets accepted.
3. Read my second comment.

[Almops]

I did some more research into the Flint water crisis and this article suggests it wasn't to save money at all, but it didn't say the intentions. Should I make up some ulterior motive and add a new option?

This is the article:
http://www.metrotimes.com/Blogs/archive ... ving-money

Also another article states that the government needs a lot of money to solve it. I am assuming this applies to the issue as well, but what options and what specifically?

This is the other article:
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016 ... ter-supply

[Almops]

Anyone?

[Almops]

Did a similar draft myself back in January, not that that should stop you:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=365835&p=27360938#p27360938

Thing to bear in mind here is the RL timescales and numbers of the game. So far I've submitted 73 issues over a 5 month period. Five had so far made it through into the game, and most have had positive feedback from fellow writers (and sometimes the editors) here. While one made it in in a matter of weeks, the others have had to wait a while. Also, I've previously read that the team has accepted issues in their backlog going back several years.

Point here is that there's no harm in drafting here first (as I've done with all 73 issues). Editor Gnejs has previously advised me that I'm not leaving my drafts up for long enough, saying that he used to have them up for a month or so. I've compromised on that to go for about 2 weeks on average, though if it slips several pages back into the forum archives I tend to bump it once if needed, then submit it once its not drawn any new comments for a while.

I was told 1 in 15 issues make it through, and as a general point of pride I always stop submitting issues if it looks like I'm falling below that. If you want to maximise your odds, post your drafts here, let others work with you on them for a bit.

As to 193,442 nations, bear in mind that probably most of players have multiple nations, and the vast majority of those players don't participate in this forum or submit issues that get accepted. Look down the spoiler list, and you'll see the actual number of authors is quite small.

Nobody here is going to steal your ideas!

What do you do when people stop commenting on your issues?

[Leppikania]

Did a similar draft myself back in January, not that that should stop you:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=365835&p=27360938#p27360938

Thing to bear in mind here is the RL timescales and numbers of the game. So far I've submitted 73 issues over a 5 month period. Five had so far made it through into the game, and most have had positive feedback from fellow writers (and sometimes the editors) here. While one made it in in a matter of weeks, the others have had to wait a while. Also, I've previously read that the team has accepted issues in their backlog going back several years.

Point here is that there's no harm in drafting here first (as I've done with all 73 issues). Editor Gnejs has previously advised me that I'm not leaving my drafts up for long enough, saying that he used to have them up for a month or so. I've compromised on that to go for about 2 weeks on average, though if it slips several pages back into the forum archives I tend to bump it once if needed, then submit it once its not drawn any new comments for a while.

I was told 1 in 15 issues make it through, and as a general point of pride I always stop submitting issues if it looks like I'm falling below that. If you want to maximise your odds, post your drafts here, let others work with you on them for a bit.

As to 193,442 nations, bear in mind that probably most of players have multiple nations, and the vast majority of those players don't participate in this forum or submit issues that get accepted. Look down the spoiler list, and you'll see the actual number of authors is quite small.

Nobody here is going to steal your ideas!

What do you do when people stop commenting on your issues?

You submit them.

[Almops]

I did some more research into the Flint water crisis and this article suggests it wasn't to save money at all, but it didn't say the intentions. Should I make up some ulterior motive and add a new option?

This is the article:
http://www.metrotimes.com/Blogs/archive ... ving-money

Also another article states that the government needs a lot of money to solve it. I am assuming this applies to the issue as well, but what options and what specifically?

This is the other article:
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016 ... ter-supply

Yeah I did...so...

But I'd still like to know, since you said I could re-submit. Any ideas on the quoted message?

[Hansdeltania]

OOC: If you would please look at my grammar factbook; I see many grammatical errors.

http://www.nationstates.net/nation=hans ... /id=576760

[Drasnia]

OOC: If you would please look at my grammar factbook; I see many grammatical errors.

http://www.nationstates.net/nation=hans ... /id=576760

It would be much more helpful if you would point out the grammatical mistakes. Most people, including myself, are not nearly as good at editing our own writing as others' writing.

[Almops]

OOC: If you would please look at my grammar factbook; I see many grammatical errors.

http://www.nationstates.net/nation=hans ... /id=576760

It would be much more helpful if you would point out the grammatical mistakes. Most people, including myself, are not nearly as good at editing our own writing as others' writing.

Agreed.

[Australian rePublic]

Pro Tip: Don't submit issues without running them past here first

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Resubmission is fine. Watching out for it, so when it comes in again I'll make sure that its the newest version that is assessed.

I'd suggest starting a new draft thread, so we can look it over without all the baggage that this thread has accumulated. As soon as your draft is ready for feedback, go ahead and post it to a new thread entitled [DRAFT} Cry Me a River.